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- [00:00]
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- [01:11]
Apple Watch Representative
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- [01:42]
Audience Member
Cool.
- [01:42]
Dan Kennedy
Ready?
- [01:43]
Dame Wilburn
Yes.
- [01:45]
Dan Kennedy
Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm your host, Dan Kennedy.
- [01:48]
Dame Wilburn
And I'm also your host, Dame Wilburn.
- [01:51]
Dan Kennedy
Welcome to the podcast.
- [01:53]
Dame Wilburn
Thank you so much for having me.
- [01:54]
Dan Kennedy
This is very cool. This year Dame is going to be joining me as a co host of the Moth podcast. She'll host a few episodes solo and I'll host some solo and then we'll host some together as a duo like we're doing today. So like the band will be together, but we'll also be doing solo projects.
- [02:13]
Dame Wilburn
I consider myself the 17th Beatle. This is one of those shows where we're going to be working together and it's all about our open mic slam series. With one story from Detroit where I've hosted and told stories, and with one story from New York, right, where I've.
- [02:29]
Dan Kennedy
Hosted and told stories, I see what they've Done here. We're both qualified to host this episode. I see.
- [02:36]
Dame Wilburn
I like to believe, so I want to handle my end as best as I can and possibly some of yours.
- [02:42]
Dan Kennedy
I love the just wild sort of livewire nature of our story slam series. You know, at the top of the show, we always save some of the do's and don'ts of telling a story. And, you know, one of the do's is make sure it's a story. I remember someone getting up at the Nuyorican who simply had a harmonica. They stared out at the crowd for what seemed like a solid two minutes, then turned to me and said, what is it again? And I said, storytelling. At which point, to an entirely packed house, they just started playing harmonica. And then they would stop playing the harmonica intermittently and say like three just non sequitur words and then go back to playing harmonica.
- [03:26]
Dame Wilburn
I'm digging it. I mean, it's not a story.
- [03:28]
Dan Kennedy
It's not a story.
- [03:29]
Dame Wilburn
If you're gonna do a thing, I like it. If you're gonna not tell a story, that's the most not story I've ever heard.
- [03:36]
Dan Kennedy
That's actually the new do's and don'ts document. It's gonna say, if you can't tell a story, simply play harmonica and then say a few words.
- [03:44]
Dame Wilburn
Right. It'll work. I had a guy in Detroit. He talked for a little over three minutes, and none of us to this day really know what he said. I think he'd imbibed a couple of beverages and thrown his name in the hat as a little bit of a joke. And then when he got called up, he was completely unprepared. And his last statement before he stepped off the stage was, I knew I shouldn't have done this. Which I think is a pretty substantial don't. You're going to at least try to act like it was a story. We know it's not, but you could pretend it was and maybe we'd go along with you.
- [04:16]
Dan Kennedy
Right. So do show up, do put your name in the hat. And do tell a story that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Those are really the do's.
- [04:24]
Dame Wilburn
Yeah. And the don'ts are don't do any of the things that aren't that.
- [04:29]
Dan Kennedy
First up today, we have Isabel Raphael. Isabel told this story here in New York. The theme of the night was summer. Here's Isabelle live at the Moth.
- [04:44]
Isabel Raphael
Thanks. So I just moved to New York, 2011, summer. I didn't have a job. I didn't have any friends. I didn't know what I was doing, but I had a lot of laundry. So I spent the days kind of going up and down the elevator to the laundry department downstairs. And one of these days, I was kind of going back up in the elevator, swinging my keys around my fingers, and the keys, as if by magic, dropped down the shaft between the doors and the elevators. So I heard them kind of clank, clank, clank, clank, clank down the shaft to the bottom. And I just kind of stood there and was like, my God, I have no wallet, no phone, no keys. I don't know anyone. I had met a very nice girl on the plane, but I didn't know her number by heart. And I just. I had no. I did not know my neighbors. I had no bra on, and I had no shoes, and I was so hungry. I, like, basically was dead in New York. I had no idea what to do. So as I sat there just thinking about my death, I remembered that my sister building, like, had, like, a doorman. If I knew anything about doorman, that they had keys to every single apartment. So I was like, okay, all I have to do is walk 13 blocks without shoes. I can totally do this. It's summer. I'm Australian. I love no shoes. So I started the walk, and the minute I started the walk, I thought I was like, a. 13 blocks is actually a really long way.
- [06:59]
Audience Member
B.
- [07:00]
Isabel Raphael
People in New York kind of love to yell out feedback on the street. A total of, like, four cars, I think, like, yelled out, you don't have any shoes on. Like, I know. I was twirling my keys around me. I fell down the elevator, and at one point, a homeless man kind of shuffled along next to me and, like, whispered in my ear, you're gonna regret this. Oh, God. So eventually, I get to the door, and the guy kind of shrieked about lack of. I was like, yeah, swinging around. And he's like, well, actually, I do have the keys, so I can take you back, but I need to piggyback you, because I don't think you can walk without shoes. I'm like, oh, my God. I'm not like a. Like, get on your shoulders at the band kind of girl. Like, I don't, like, jump over fences. So it's like, what. How do you, like. How do you, like, get on someone's back? So I was like, I, like, started really far away. Like, ran and, like, kind of, like, slopped myself onto his back to his heart, I'm sure. But so we started the long way back, and I kind of. I don't like to piggyback in awkward silence. So I was like chatting away about, like, how not very good about getting on people's backs. Like, I was really lonely in the city and I just moved here. I met this really nice girl on the plane, but all the way I'm like slipping, like lower and lower on his back until my feet were just kind of dragging along the ground. So eventually I got back to the house and he let me in. And then a few days later, I come home and there's a little bag on my door with my keys, which he fished out, and a pair of pink bespangled child slippers. I guess he totally got my style. And a little note that said, for next time, time.
- [09:52]
Dan Kennedy
Isabel. That was Isabel Raphael.
- [10:03]
Dame Wilburn
Originally from Australia, Isabel is a New York based creative director, which means she likes bossily art, directing, Instagram photos. After realizing her friends had heard all of her stories, Isabel decided to try her hand at telling them to a new audience in front of a microphone.
- [10:19]
Dan Kennedy
You know what I love about Isabel's story? I love the moment when the homeless man shuffles along with her and whispers, you're going to regret this. I like that she calls it feedback that New Yorkers yell at you when you're walking down the street.
- [10:35]
Dame Wilburn
It is a New York moment. I have been in the city wearing a skirt with a train and have had 30 people stop and say, you, skirt's on the ground. I'm like, it's a train. I know it's gonna get dirty. I know. But thank you for crossing the street to tell me.
- [10:49]
Dan Kennedy
They're very forward and they will tell you what they think. But this city has so much, so much heart too. Crowds at New York City slams will be so with the storyteller that if they get nervous or if they freeze up, you would think they would just get slaughtered by a New York crowd. And New York moth crowds will just wait patiently or even better, start applauding. They'll start yelling stuff like, you've got this. It's just an amazing love that I feel like they have, you know, by the way, same people who will yell at you on the street that you don't have any shoes on.
- [11:24]
Dame Wilburn
I think it's a New York thing. I think it's the New York way. I love you in the way that I choose. Which seems very New York to me. Up next, we have Michelle Robertson. Michelle told this story at a Detroit story slam where the theme of the night was competition. Here's Michelle.
- [11:48]
Audience Member
All right, well, I'm the Oldest of four girls in my family. My first sister was born just before my second birthday. And then my other two sisters are 10 and 14 years younger. So the majority of my childhood, most of my memories, are just me and my dad and Rebecca and my mom. My mom and dad were two totally different people. My mom's just super shy and very straight laced. Like, never did anything wrong. She didn't smoke or drink or swear or gamble or anything like that. And my dad grew up on the rodeo and, like, loved drinking beer and smoking some weed and whatever else he could get his hands on. And so they had nothing in common except for, as parents, they had this one thing, and that was that neither one of them really had any issues with playing favorites. So Rebecca was my mom's favorite, and I was my dad's favorite. And if my mom went anywhere, Rebecca was gonna be with her. And my dad took me with him. So Rebecca got to go to the grocery store in the bank, and I got to go to the party store to buy beer and to my aunt and uncle's houses every single weekend, where my dad would hang out with his brothers and sisters, and they would drink beer and smoke whatever and play cards. And me and all my cousins, this huge extended family, we'd ride horses or do whatever we wanted because nobody was watching us. And we both individually had these really great childhoods, Rebecca and I. But my parents, in creating this kind of division of a family, created this huge animosity. So it wasn't like normal sibling rivalry. There were no, like, moments of tenderness. We didn't do each other's hair or makeup or talk about boys. Like, we did not. We hated each other. Hated, legit hated each other. And she was really, like. When I think about competition, she was my fiercest opponent for all of my life because we were constantly trying to outdo one another and prove that we were loved. And it continued that way once we moved out. We both moved out, got married, had our own families now. To me, I had grown up with this big extended family, and so it was important to me that my kids knew their cousins. It just was, like, an unfortunate circumstance that they were Becca's kids. But it was. It really was. You don't know her. So it was fine, though. Cause my dad would call me, like, every weekend and ask me to come over for dinner, and I'd say, yeah, can you have mom call Becca and ask Rebecca to bring the kids over? And she would. And so we all spent time. Well, Becca would hang out with my mom in the house. And me and my dad would, like, do the fun. You know, light off fireworks for no reason or ride four wheelers. And so all the kids would hang out with us. And then my two younger sisters grew up and moved out. And my parents were just kind of left with each other. And they realized, I think, what everybody else knew they didn't have anything in common. And I think, well, my mom probably got tired of my dad drinking all the time. And my dad probably just got tired of listening to my mom bitch about him drinking all the time. So my mom moved out, but she still came over on weekends. And then she moved back in, so that was fine. And then she moved back out, and she didn't come over on weekends anymore. And then Rebecca didn't come over on weekends anymore. And within this really quick couple of months, my entire dysfunctional family kind of started to fall apart. And it was really a short time. Like a couple months later, I will never forget. I was at home. I was working from home that day. And I'm sitting on my bed and my laptop's out and these papers. And my phone rings and I pick it up and it says, karen, Mom. That's my mom. She never, ever called me. And so I panicked because I thought something must have happened to my dad for my mom to call me. So I answer the phone. I'm a little panicked, but she was totally fine. And she's like, well, that's over. That's final. And I was like, what? It's final? And she said, the divorce. And I said, what divorce? And she said, between me and your dad. And I was like, no, there's no divorce between you and dad. And she's like, well, no. I mean, there was. It's final. I'm leaving the court right now. So I wanted to ask questions, but I couldn't. Cause I felt like my eyes get hot and a lump in my throat. And so I was just like, okay, thanks for letting me know. I've been working. I'm really busy. I gotta go. And so I hung up the phone. And I cried so hard and so ugly for such a long time. And I wanted to call a friend. Like I wanted to talk to someone, but I couldn't. Cause they would ask what was wrong. And I would say, my parents, divorce is final. And they would say, I didn't know your parents were getting divorced. And I'd say, yeah, me neither. And that was gonna be super weird. And I was really mad at myself because really, the only person in the world that I wanted to talk to was Rebecca. But I couldn't. I actually didn't even know if I had her phone number. But I did. After a long time. I looked and I did. And I eventually worked up the courage to call her. I thought it was gonna be weird to be told I made it a little bit weird. Cause she said, hey. And I said, this is Michelle, I'm your sister. And she was like, I know who you are. And so I made it a little weird. But then I just said, oh, okay. Hey, have you talked to mom? And she said in her really like Rebecca like way, have I talked to mom? I talk to mom all the time. Mom calls me every day. And I was like, oh, okay, okay. I didn't know. So you know, then I didn't know. And she said, you know what? And I was like, that it's final. And she said that what's final? And I said, the divorce. And she said, what divorce? And I said, between mom and dad. And she didn't say anything. And then I heard her crying and then I started crying all over again. And then we just cried together for this really, really long time. We stayed on the phone for hours, just talking and crying and talking bad about our parents and figuring out how we were going to tell our sisters and how we were going to tell our kids and how important it was to both of us that our kids stayed in contact. And we talked and we cried until there was just nothing left. And then we just sat there forever on the phone in silence until she said in her really Rebecca like way, like, why would mom call you instead of me? Mom always calls me. And for the first time in 35 years, I was able to just laugh because I just didn't care anymore. Because I realized that there didn't have to be a competition and that she wasn't my opponent. And for the first time, I was just talking to my sister.
- [18:09]
Dame Wilburn
That was Michelle Robertson.
- [18:11]
Dan Kennedy
Michelle plays many roles. Some of her favorites include wife, sister, mom, foster parent. She's a leader at a non profit in Detroit and currently keeps busy by living out the many stories she plans to tell someday. If you the listeners out there would like to see some photos of Michelle and her family in the extras for this episode just hit our site themoth.org.
- [18:34]
Dame Wilburn
What I love about Michelle's story is that she doesn't shy away from the idea of the parents saying this. This kid's going to go better with how I live my life. Like I like to do rodeo stuff and beer. I'm going to take this one, and you like to go shopping, and this one might be the right one for you. And I love that they just admit that my parents. I was an only child, but I sort of had a dual personality for my parents, so I understand it. And I love the fact that her dad liked rodeo stuff, but she's still kind of in our area, like rodeo.
- [19:08]
Dan Kennedy
I mean, how. How bummed would you be, though? The dad is literally like, hey, all right, so I like beer, smokes and four wheelers. Who's with me?
- [19:17]
Dame Wilburn
Right? That's gonna be a lot of numbers. There's a high number of kids that are gonna go with you when you throw those activities out.
- [19:27]
Dan Kennedy
That's right. It seems a little more fun on the face of it than running errands.
- [19:31]
Dame Wilburn
Yes.
- [19:31]
Dan Kennedy
But that probably also says a lot about why that marriage may not have worked out well.
- [19:36]
Dame Wilburn
My dad was an auto mechanic, and if I went somewhere with him, he's like, hey, let's go to Pep Boys and look at brake pads. But my mother would say, hey, let's go to the mall and have, you know, dinner and buy ourselves several outfits. I'm like, it's a hard choice, but I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna hang with mom today since it's brake pad day.
- [19:57]
Dan Kennedy
That's gonna do it this time around. But we'll be back again soon with some more news stories here on the Moth Podcast. Until then, from all of us here, myself and from Dame, have a story worthy week. Thanks, Dame. That was awesome. That's so cool.
- [20:16]
Groons Representative
Dame Wilburn is a longtime storyteller and host at the Maw. She's also the chief marketing director for Twisted Willow Soap Company and host of the podcast Dame's Eclectic Brain. Dan Kennedy is the author of Loser Goes First, Rock on and American Spirit. He's also a regular host and storyteller.
- [20:33]
Dan Kennedy
With the Moth Podcast production by Julia Purcell and Paul Rue West. The Moth Podcast is presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.