The Moth Podcast: Tina McElroy Ansa - "Stars on the Ceiling"

Host: Dan Kennedy
Storyteller: Tina McElroy Ansa
Release Date: May 6, 2013
Location of Storytelling: New York, 2011
Theme of the Night: Raise the Roof

Introduction and Early Life in Macon, Georgia

Tina McElroy Ansa begins her heartfelt narrative by painting a vivid picture of her childhood home in Macon, Georgia. She describes the house in Pleasant Hill, situated at the foot of Forest Avenue, emphasizing its beauty and the sense of security it provided. “We lived in a great big old beautiful old brick two-story house… nestled at the edge of woods, some thick woods, and it had a beautiful little brook running through it” (02:20). This idyllic setting becomes the backdrop for her exploration of family dynamics and the impact of her parents' choices on her upbringing.

Family Dynamics: A Complex Father and a Balancing Mother

Tina delves into the complexities of her father, a charismatic yet risk-taking entrepreneur who owned juke joints and liquor stores. She humorously and poignantly captures his personality: “My father was very handsome, very charismatic and very complicated. If you looked up the word complex in the dictionary, you see a picture of him going, winking back at you” (05:15). Her father’s ventures brought both prosperity and instability to the family, leading to fluctuating financial conditions.

In contrast, Tina’s mother emerges as the stabilizing force: “My mother made everything in balance for the family, for the times when things were up and down” (10:45). She meticulously maintained the household, ensuring that despite the financial ups and downs, the family environment remained nurturing and special. The love for fine dining and grand gestures, such as ordering 100 live Maine lobsters for anniversaries, highlights her mother’s dedication to creating memorable moments: “Lobster and butter. As much as you ever wanted” (09:30).

The Move to Dove Street: A Shattering Change

The turning point in Tina’s story comes when her father abruptly announces another move. At eight years old, she is unprepared for the upheaval: “I thought I was prepared for it. But when the day of the move came, my little world was shaken to its core” (13:50). The transition from their beloved home to Dove Street is depicted with stark contrast. The new house is described as ramshackle and unwelcoming: “The house was so sort of ramshackle… the floor was this rough sort of wood that had, you know, things sticking up” (16:10). This move signifies not just a physical relocation but an emotional and psychological upheaval for Tina and her siblings.

Emotional Struggles and Resilience

Adjusting to Dove Street is fraught with emotional challenges. Tina recounts finding a hole in the ceiling, which she interprets as “stars on the ceiling,” symbolizing both wonder and the harsh reality of their new living conditions: “We can see the stars in the ceiling here. Well, you know, I thought this was something magical and wonderful” (18:05). However, the reaction of her sisters dampens this vision, highlighting the collective anxiety of the family.

Her mother’s pragmatic approach to their new reality is underscored when Tina confronts her about the absence of friends: “Your friends, parents don't have the money or the time to be hauling their girls across town just to visit you” (15:50). This moment illustrates the financial strain and the resulting social isolation the family faces.

Forming New Connections: Friendship with Frankie

In the midst of adversity, Tina finds solace in an unexpected friendship with Frankie, a neighbor girl. Despite their differing backgrounds, they bond over shared experiences and mutual understanding: “We sat down and ate dinner together. And the things that we had, even in our fallen state, she was just amazed” (17:25). This relationship offers a glimpse of hope and the importance of companionship during difficult times.

A Miraculous Return to Pleasant Hill

Just over a year after moving to Dove Street, Tina’s father announces another move—this time back to Pleasant Hill. The family’s elation is palpable: “We were moving back to Forest Avenue and Pleasant Hill in our own house” (19:00). Tina reflects on her father’s resilience and resourcefulness, marveling at how he managed to restore their business and return them to their original home within such a short timeframe: “My father, a black man in the 1950s, must have struggled and connived and hustled and managed to get his business back in one year” (19:45).

Reflections on Change and Constancy

Tina concludes her story with profound reflections on the nature of change and the enduring aspects of life and relationships: “I had learned how quickly life could change… But I'd also learned, thank God, that there were some things in this world that never, ever changed” (20:20). Lying in her own bed once more, she finds comfort in the familiar ceiling, searching for stars and reaffirming her understanding of what remains constant amidst life's fluctuations.

Notable Quotes:

• “If you looked up the word complex in the dictionary, you see a picture of him going, winking back at you.” – Tina McElroy Ansa (05:15)

• “Lobster and butter. As much as you ever wanted.” – Tina McElroy Ansa (09:30)

• “We can see the stars in the ceiling here. Well, you know, I thought this was something magical and wonderful.” – Tina McElroy Ansa (18:05)

• “My father, a black man in the 1950s, must have struggled and connived and hustled and managed to get his business back in one year.” – Tina McElroy Ansa (19:45)

Conclusion

Tina McElroy Ansa’s story, "Stars on the Ceiling," is a poignant exploration of family, resilience, and the profound impact of childhood experiences. Through her evocative storytelling, Tina captures the essence of growing up amidst instability and change, highlighting the enduring strength of familial bonds and personal hope. Her narrative not only offers a window into her own life but also resonates universally, reminding listeners of the timeless dance between change and constancy.

For More Information:

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