Tom Herndon & Christine Blackburn: StorySLAM Favorites

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Moth – "Tom Herndon & Christine Blackburn: StorySLAM Favorites"

Episode Details:

• Title: Tom Herndon & Christine Blackburn: StorySLAM Favorites
• Host: Dan Kennedy
• Release Date: May 29, 2012
• Description: This episode features two captivating stories from The Moth's Story Slam series, showcasing personal narratives centered around the themes "Busted" and "Rules." Hosted by Dan Kennedy, the episode delves into real-life experiences that resonate with audiences through humor, vulnerability, and insightful reflections.

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1. Tom Herndon: "Busted"

Timestamp: [03:06]

Story Overview: Tom Herndon narrates a poignant childhood experience that marked his loss of innocence. At the age of ten, during a family trip that included a lengthy layover at Chicago's O'Hare Airport, Tom's mother embarked on an entrepreneurial venture to capitalize on the airport's luggage cart system. The story unfolds as an innocent parental attempt to teach financial prudence inadvertently leads to a brush with the law.

Key Points:

• Economic Ingenuity: Tom's mother notices that airport luggage carts required a dollar deposit and only returned a quarter upon return. Observing that passengers rarely returned carts, she devises a plan to collect and return them diligently to earn quarters.

  "What my mom saw as an opportunity at the airport with six hours to kill was a chance to make some money." [03:25]

• Involvement and Escalation: Initially hesitant, Tom gets reluctantly involved in his mother's scheme, witnessing both her resourcefulness and the unfolding consequences as their small-scale operation grows.

• Encounter with Authorities: Their venture catches the attention of airport police officers who confront Tom's mother, leading to a tense interaction that challenges Tom's perception of right and wrong.

  "Nothing should shatter a child's innocence more than watching one of their parents get busted." [03:06]

• Impact on Innocence: The encounter leaves a lasting impression on young Tom, teaching him about the complexities of legality and discretion, which later influences his understanding of personal boundaries and integrity.

Insights and Reflections: Tom reflects on how this experience subtly shifted his worldview, instilling a sense of discretion and the understanding that not all actions need to be transparent. This lesson becomes a foundational element in his approach to life's challenges and ethical dilemmas.

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2. Christine Blackburn: "Rules"

Timestamp: [10:11]

Story Overview: Christine Blackburn shares her experiences as a flight attendant, highlighting the stringent and often absurd rules imposed during her training and professional life. Her narrative juxtaposes the theoretical safety protocols with the rigid aesthetic and behavioral regulations, leading to humorous and eye-opening situations.

Key Points:

• Rigorous Training: Christine describes the flight attendant training program as excessively strict, focusing more on appearance and weight management than on essential safety procedures.

  "I thought, like, being a flight attendant, a lot of the training would be focused on, like, safety, how to open an emergency door..." [10:35]

• Enforcement of Appearance: The rules enforced included precise standards for nail polish color, earring sizes, and undergarment hues, which Christine found unnecessarily restrictive.

  "If you weren't wearing a beige bra... and you could have only wear the serving garment when serving food." [11:10]

• Weight Management: A significant portion of the training was dedicated to maintaining strict weight limits, leading to high stress and even causing strained relationships, as Christine mentions burning through roommates over weight issues.

• Handling Passenger Emergencies: Christine recounts a specific incident where a passenger passed away mid-flight, illustrating the disconnect between the formal rules and the emotional reality of such events.

  "If a passenger dies in your flight, do not panic. Act naturally. Place an oxygen mask over their nose and mouth." [13:20]

• Abiding by Protocols: Despite the absurdity she perceives in some rules, Christine adheres to protocols even in emotionally charged situations, underscoring the tension between personal judgment and professional obligations.

Insights and Reflections: Christine's story sheds light on the sometimes dehumanizing aspects of corporate policies and the challenge of maintaining professionalism amidst personal empathy. Her humorous yet critical take invites listeners to consider the balance between rules and humanity in service-oriented professions.

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Conclusion

In this episode of The Moth, both Tom Herndon and Christine Blackburn offer deeply personal narratives that explore themes of innocence lost and the rigidity of imposed rules. Through their storytelling, they illuminate broader human experiences—ethical dilemmas, the impact of parental influence, and the struggle between individuality and institutional expectations. Their stories not only entertain but also provoke thoughtful reflection on how rules and unforeseen circumstances shape our lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Herndon: "Nothing should shatter a child's innocence more than watching one of their parents get busted." [03:06]
• Christine Blackburn: "If a passenger dies in your flight, do not panic. Act naturally. Place an oxygen mask over their nose and mouth." [13:20]

Additional Information:

• Tom Herndon: A Louisville-based advertising copywriter with a passion for storytelling, coming from a family where narrative is a cherished tradition.
• Christine Blackburn: A writer and performer, creator of the "Story Worthy" podcast, and host of various storytelling platforms, blending humor with insightful commentary on personal and professional experiences.

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For more stories and to experience live storytelling events, visit The Moth.

Transcript

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[Dan Kennedy]

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. This Moth Podcast is supported by New Belgium, an employee owned brewery proud to produce Fat Tire, Amber Ale and the annual traveling bicycle festival Tour de Fat, hitting 15 cities and featuring the Car for Bike program. More [e-mail] tourdefat this week we bring you two stories from our Story Slam series. As you probably know, our Story Slams are our open mic storytelling competitions and those are now happening in seven cities across the country. Our first story by Tom Herndon was told in Louisville, Kentucky, and the theme of the night was Busted.

[Tom Herndon]

All right, well, I can tell you that nothing should shatters a child's innocence more than watching one of their parents get busted. When I was 10, my mom and I went on a trip to visit some relatives in St. Paul, Minnesota, and our flight included a stop in Chicago. It turned out to be a very long stop. And faced with the prospect of six hours at O'Hare Airport, we could have gone into the city, maybe caught a Cubs game or gone to the Art Institute. But for my depression era mother, those things cost money. And what my mom saw as an opportunity at the airport with six hours to kill was a chance to make some money. And at the center of this financial bonanza were luggage carts. What my mom noticed was that all the luggage carts in the rack, you had to put a dollar in. You got the luggage cart out, you took it wherever you needed it, and if you brought it back, you got a quarter. But nobody ever brings the cart back. And my mom quite quickly starts corralling all the carts that she can lay her hands on, bringing them back to the rack and getting the quarter. I'm mortally embarrassed by this. I pretend not to know who this woman is, but after an hour of pretty good hustle, she's sporting a pretty hefty pocket of quarters, and she says, hey, come on, let's hustle. I'll split it with you. So reluctantly, I get drawn into the enterprise and I'm just spotting. At first, I'm kind of staying on the fringe of this whole thing, but we're doing okay. We're racking up the quarters. And that probably would have been all good and well until my mom is taking one of the carts back to the rack and a woman stops her and says, hey, you finished with that cart? Do you mind if I take it? And another light bulb goes off in my mom's head and she says, yeah, you can have it for a dollar. In my mom's mind, she's going to get the same price as if she went to the rack, but she's quadrupled her profit margin. Now, if my mom was busy before when she was making a quarter cart, she is now a blur in one of the busiest airports in the world. She is moving. She's checking the monitors. She's seeing where flights are coming in. She is looking at people coming from California. They're gonna have a lot of luggage. We gotta get that flight. She's hanging out a baggage claim. Whoa, look at all those suitcases you got. You probably could use a cart. Trust. Cost you a dollar. She's infectious, she's persistent, she's likable, and she is putting away the paper money. Now, I'm not really keen on this new business direction that our enterprise is taking. Even though I was young, I was starting to sense that maybe we've crossed over into something a little different now. And my suspicion is confirmed when on the way to another gate to meet potential customers, my mom rounds a corner with a cart and runs right into two Chicago area airport police officers. Ma'am, what are you doing? What am I doing? Answer by repeating the question. That buys you a little time. What does it look like I'm doing? Answer a question with a question. At this point, my mom had been married to an attorney for 25 years, so her verbal fencing skills are pretty solid. Well, ma'am, it looks like you're taking these carts and selling them to other people, and that's illegal. I can tell this isn't a chance encounter because one of the security officers says into his walkie talkie, yeah, 1012, we found her. Ma'am, why don't you have a seat? Now I'm getting very nervous. These security folks have utility belts and badges. And I think I see handcuffs on the belts. And I'm wondering if those are going to come out. And people are starting to stare. They're starting to look. And he goes back and forth with my mom a little bit. We're just coming from West Virginia. We don't know about your big city ways. Just taking the carts back for the quarter. So after a while, he says, look, if you want to take the carts back, that's fine. Take the course, but you can't walk around here selling this thing, okay? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Not really a misunderstanding, but that's okay. And my mom says, well, we finish up our low profit margin, end of the work, get on the flight to Minneapolis. And my mom says, I don't think we need to tell your father about this. We can just keep this between you and me. And so my innocence maybe was left a little bit behind at the airport, not just because I saw my mom sequestered by airport security, but that I had now evolved into a new understanding that Maybe everybody doesn't need to know everything all the time. And this new arrangement that I had with my mom would serve me well in the years to come as I faced my own prospects of getting busted and maybe needed a little help. Thanks.

[Dan Kennedy]

A native of Huntington, West Virginia, Tom comes from a long line of raconteurs in a family where stories storytelling is a full contact sport. By day, Tom practices the art of storytelling as an advertising copywriter in Louisville, Kentucky. The next story you're about to hear by Christine Blackburn was told live at our Los Angeles story slam in 2010. The theme of the night was rules.

[Christine Blackburn]

So I used to be a flight attendant, and the flight attendant school, like, the training that we had to go to was absolutely ridiculous. And they had so many rules. And you could be kicked out for anything at any time. Like, the wrong color nail polish or, like, if your earrings were bigger than a quarter or if you weren't wearing a beige bra. And, like, for some reason, I thought, like, being a flight attendant, a lot of the training would be focused on, like, safety, how to open an emergency door, you know, maybe use a fire extinguisher. But really, it was all about making weight. Every week, we had to stand in a big auditorium in a single file, and they would call our name one by one. And one lady had, like, a clipboard, and she would shout, Blackburn. Five foot four can weigh 120. And then another, and then I'd step by and say, does weigh 119. And, like, I would always just make it. But it was very, very serious. And if you didn't make weight, you were out there. And then, right then, bam. They put you on a van, they take you to the airport, and they fly you back to wherever you came from. No, it was very serious. I burned through, like, three roommates because of the weight thing. Super crazy. And then they were also very into the uniform, right? So we had to wear, like, navy pumps and navy nylons all the time through the terminal and boarding and deeplanning, unless we were actually serving. And then we could put our flats on for, like, seven years. I wore navy pumps and beige bras. Very unattractive. They were also very big on our serving garment. The serving garment was like an apron. And you could only wear the serving garment when you were serving food. When you were boarding and deplaning, you had to have on your blazer. So that was a whole different thing. And to illustrate this and how important it was, one time during accident week, which is like shark week, but with airplane accidents, we were watching this Air Florida crash, and maybe you remember it. In the early 80s, this jet just flew right into the Potomac river into a bridge. And everybody died, except for, like, five people. And it was in January, and it was freezing, and there's, like, icebergs in the water watching this tape. And there's a flight attendant being pulled out of the water, dangling on a rope by a helicopter. The whole thing, she's being carried away. And the instructor stops the vcr and she says, you see that? Is that what you want? You want to be on national television in your serving garment? So just to illustrate how exactly ridiculous all of these rules were, I did graduate training. And six months later, I'm taking a flight. I'm going from JFK to West Palm Beach. By the way, the passengers can be described in two words. Kosher meal. And I'm flying, and I'm working first class. And this lady comes suddenly between the curtains, and she comes up and she whispers in my ear, excuse me, stewardess, just so you know, Mr. Klein in 5C just passed away. I'm sorry, what? And she goes, I'm his nurse. He's dead. And she turns around and she walks back through the curtain, and she sits down. And I'm thinking, well, there has to be a rule for this, you know? So I go to the flight attendant manual, and there is a rule. Boom. If a passenger dies in your flight, do not panic. Act naturally. Place an oxygen mask over their nose and mouth. Adjust the elastic band around your head, and you may want to put a blanket in their lap. So I head back between the curtains. I head back to Coates with an oxygen bottle and a blanket. And I walk through the curtain, and I see the dude, and he's like, 150. And he's like, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. And I'm like, hey, Mr. Klein, I heard you're not feel. Feeling well. And I'm putting on the oxygen mask. You know, hey, I'm adjusting the, like, the air thing. Would you like a blanket? Here's a blanket. Here's the oxygen mask. So I go back and I tell the pilots. I'm like, you guys, the diet. You know, he's dead, and, you know, the nurse and he's dead. And they said, well, you know, that's what it is. So we have to continue the fight. And now we land in West Palm Beach. You know, I get out of my serving garment, I put my blazer back on. You know, I put my heels back on, and we land, and I think, okay, this is obvious. We're gonna take all the passengers off and then get the dead guy off. But no, no, no, that's not the rules. The rule is the dead guy goes off first. So we pull up to the gate, I open the door, these fricking paramedics like rush in and the whole charade continues. They've got like a straight back chair and they're like, oh, we're coming m. Don't you worry. And they're like, we got you. Don't you worry. Sir. Put your hands over your chest and they strap them around this like dolly and then they dolly them off. But who am I to break the rules? I said, okay. Take care, Mr. Klein. Nice flying with us. Thanks so much. You have a great day.

[Dan Kennedy]

Christine Blackburn is a writer and performer. She is the creator, producer and host of the Story Worthy podcast and the game show Shotgun Story Worthy. She also spent two years hosting Ready for the Weekend movies on USA. For more information, visit christineblackburn.com Also, just a quick reminder, join us in Durham, North Carolina on Thursday, June 21st for the Moth Main Stage at Carolina Theater. For ticketing information and for a list of all of our tour stops this month, visit themoth.org our podcast host, Dan.

[Rosetta Stone Advertiser]

Kennedy is the author of the book Rock on An Office Power Ballad. Learn [e-mail] thanks to all of you.

[Dan Kennedy]

For listening and we hope you have a Story Worthy week. Podcast audio production by Paul Ruest at the Argo Studios in New York Podcast hosting by PRX Public Radio Exchange Helping make public Radio more [e-mail].