Podcast Summary: The Moth – "Unexpected Gifts: Zanele Chisholm & Isabel DeBre"

Episode Information

• Title: Unexpected Gifts: Zanele Chisholm & Isabel DeBre
• Host: The Moth (Dan Kennedy)
• Release Date: December 14, 2018

Introduction

In this heartwarming episode of The Moth, host Dan Kennedy presents two compelling true stories under the theme "Unexpected Gifts." These narratives explore the profound and often unforeseen impacts of seemingly ordinary moments and relationships. The episode emphasizes themes of identity, belonging, and the intricate dynamics within family life.

Story 1: Zanele Chisholm – The Struggle for Identity

Timestamp: [01:48]

Zanele Chisholm shares a deeply personal account of her early childhood experiences in Oshawa, northern Canada, highlighting the challenges she faced regarding her name and identity.

Key Points:

• First Grade Incident: Zanele recounts her first day in first grade, where her teacher, Mrs. Neals, struggles to pronounce her name correctly. The mispronunciation leads to laughter and ridicule from her classmates.

  “I was looking at Mrs. Neals like, no, my name is Zannale. Zanele.” ([03:15])

• Impact of Misnaming: The persistent mispronunciation not only embarrassed her but also instilled a sense of isolation and a struggle with self-identity. For the next decade, she was predominantly called "Zanelle," overshadowing her true identity.

  “This became the next 10 years of my life. Zanelle always being seen before Zanele.” ([06:50])

• Personal Crisis: As an adult, Zanele grapples with feelings of inadequacy tied to her name's meaning in Xhosa—“to be sufficient, to be enough.” She confronts a moment of despair, feeling she no longer embodies the essence of her name.

  “I don't feel deserving of my definition, that Zanella doesn't belong to me.” ([07:40])

• Resolution and Empowerment: Through a heartfelt conversation with her mother, Zanele finds solace and reclaims her identity. Her mother imparts wisdom that a name is intrinsic to one's existence and not something to be earned.

  “Your name will always belong to you, no matter what.” ([09:10])

• Conclusion: Zanele’s story underscores the importance of names in cultural and personal identity, advocating for self-acceptance and the reclamation of one’s true self.

Story 2: Isabel DeBre – The Trials of Pet Ownership

Timestamp: [09:26]

Isabel DeBre narrates her family's tumultuous journey into pet ownership, illustrating how an unexpected addition to the family can bring both joy and unforeseen challenges.

Key Points:

• Family Dynamic Without Pets: Isabel describes her family's deliberate choice to remain petless, emphasizing their collective identity and indifference towards pets.

  “If I had to describe my family in one word, I think it would be petless.” ([09:45])

• Introduction of a Pet: Her sister's persistent desire for a pet leads the family to adopt a bearded dragon named Opal, marking a significant shift in their household.

  “We decided on reptile. We decided on a bearded dragon.” ([11:30])

• Challenges of Reptile Care: The family faces unexpected difficulties in caring for Opal, including managing live feeders like crickets, which disrupt their daily lives and peace.

  “The crickets also ate this, like, cricket jam. … it looked like real jam.” ([13:05])

• Community Engagement: The family's commitment to Opal extends to public activities, such as walking the bearded dragon on a leash every Sunday, earning them recognition in their neighborhood.

  “Our neighborhood knew us. They knew Opal.” ([14:00])

• Tragic Loss: Opal's untimely death brings sorrow and disbelief, culminating in a community funeral that turns chaotic when Opal unexpectedly revives before passing away two days later.

  “And we're just dying. Like, we don't know what to do.” ([14:50])

• Aftermath: The family refrains from adopting another pet, reflecting on the emotional rollercoaster and the unanticipated responsibilities that come with pet ownership.

  “We have yet to get another pet.” ([15:10])

• Conclusion: Isabel’s story highlights the complexities of adding a pet to the family, demonstrating how what starts as an unexpected gift can lead to profound emotional experiences.

Conclusion

In this episode of The Moth, both Zanele Chisholm and Isabel DeBre delve into personal narratives that reveal the intricate layers of identity and family dynamics. Zanele's journey emphasizes the significance of names in shaping one's sense of self, while Isabel's tale illustrates the unpredictable nature of family life and the bonds formed through shared experiences. Together, these stories illuminate how unexpected gifts—be they names or pets—can leave lasting impressions on our lives.

Notable Quotes:

• “Your name is. You are constantly manifesting your name simply by existing.” – Zanele Chisholm ([09:10])
• “We do not understand, but we tried.” – Isabel DeBre ([10:15])

Production Credits

• Host: Dan Kennedy
• Production Team: Emily Couch, Ivan Kureyev, Vicki Marek, Paul Ru West
• Presented by: PRX, the Public Radio Exchange

Further Information For more stories and live events, visit the moth.org.