
In this episode, Toni and I dive deep into what it really feels like to get stuck even when your business is working and life looks “successful” on the outside. - What You'll Learn Why entrepreneurs often get stuck
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Steve Chou
Welcome back to the podcast, the show where I cover all of the latest strategies and current events related to E commerce and online business. In this episode, Tony and I dive deep into what it really feels like to get stuck, even when your business is working and life looks successful on the outside. We talk about those weird moments when motivation disappears, clarity fades, and you start questioning everything. If you've ever felt like you're going through the motions or hitting a wall in your business journey, this episode is a raw, honest look at how to reset, refocus, and find momentum again. But before we begin, I wanted to let you know that the session recordings for Seller Summit 2025 are now available over at sellers summit.com. if you missed the event, you can now get instant access to every keynote, workshop and panel. Now onto the show. Welcome to the My Wife Quitter Job podcast. Today, Tony and I, we're going to cover something a little different. I just turned 50, and I know a lot of people in our classes or people in my audience have been kind of stuck. I mean, things are changing so fast. So how do you know what direction to take and what to do when you're feeling a little bit stuck?
Tony
Yeah, I think everybody has been stuck at some point. In fact, I know we have some people in the class where we've talked them sort of through this over the years. So I think it's, you know, in honor of your 50th birthday.
Steve Chou
Did I tell you what happened on my 50th birthday?
Tony
But you. I don't think you've told the listeners.
Steve Chou
All right. So I went to see the doctor on my 50th just so I could get my blood work done and. And whatnot. And as I'm in line, Bumblebee linens goes down, and I'm like, what the heck is going on? What the heck's going on? And like, I didn't have anything. I was at the doctor and I, you know, doctors, right. You have to wait in line for a long time to get blow. I did not want to leave the line. Meanwhile, you know, we're not making money while the website's down. And then I discover that support for my. My web host has gotten a little bit worse. Okay, Right. But then I'm on. I'm on the phone with. With support. Finally I get through. So I'm waiting in line, and as I'm getting my blood drawn, I'm actually on the phone with support. Turns out someone decided to just attack my site. That's a birthday gift as a birthday Gift. And there was, like, a very subtle bug that's been on my website. It's probably been there for, like, 15 years because I've never gotten attacked in this way before. Basically filled up the hard drive of my server and then caused it to go down. But why do they always decide to do this on, like, special days? Like, this stuff, like, this always happens on vacation when I'm gone.
Tony
Vacation a decent amount.
Steve Chou
Yeah, on vacation, but then this time on my birthday.
Tony
So the morning, or is it because you are doing something, it feels stressful to like. Like, it happens and you're at home, it doesn't feel as stressful because you can just handle it. But when you're out, it becomes a much bigger deal because it's harder to deal with.
Steve Chou
No, absolutely not. It's not that. I mean, these things that happen when we get attacked, this is very unusual, right? So anyway, that was my birthday anyway. It got me thinking, though.
Tony
Is it all worth it?
Steve Chou
I was just thinking because, like, I. I've been reflecting a lot. So my best friend came and came up on my birthday and we hung out and we started talking about all this stuff, like what to do next. Because things are. I'm just really worried about AI and how it's just changing. I'm more worried for my kids, actually, how it's taking away jobs and whatnot. So I know there's probably a lot of people listening to this who are stuck, wondering what to do. AI is coming. I don't know. Let's talk about.
Tony
You know, I also noticed that. I don't want to say this is like an epidemic, right, of people being stuck, but I know we had a lot of people who didn't attend Seller Summit this year for the same reasons, right? They just. They felt like they were stuck. They didn't have anything to offer. They felt like they weren't ready to, you know, make any changes in their business, stuff like that. So I think this is happening to a lot of people. I don't think this is. If you're feeling this way, like, not you, but, like, you, plural. I feel like you're not alone. There's probably a lot of people who are in your same boat. And I was actually feeling this way. For me, it's funny, I always feel this way over the holidays. I don't know why my birthday and Christmas and New Year's are all, like, within a week of each other. And for some reason, that's when, like, I love Christmas and I love the holidays, but it's also When I'm, like, definitely the most depressed, and I don't know if it's because, like, another year has gone by and maybe I feel like I haven't reached my potential or I've missed out on something or. But I always get really down in the dumps right around the new year, as opposed to be like, most people are, like, excited and, like, doing all their, like, goal setting. And I'm like, everything sucks. And I actually. So funny. I had a conversation yesterday with somebody about this very thing because usually for my birthday, I like to take a little trip, do something fun. And I was literally dreading going on this trip this year because I just wanted to stay home and sort of just feel sorry for myself because I was in that rut.
Steve Chou
I didn't know that. You didn't tell me that.
Tony
I know. I didn't. I don't tell anybody. Right. Cause the other thing is this is so. I think this is step one. Normally when people feel this way, they keep it to themselves, right? Because I think it's a little bit embarrassing, especially. I actually don't think it's embarrassing. I think people feel like it's embarrassing because I think to myself, like, why should I feel this way? My life is pretty good. You know, I have successful businesses. I can feed my family. I'm getting to do the things I want to do in life. So why should I not be happy with where I am or why should I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be? And I think the thing that really helped me, like, when I was feeling this way over the holidays, was that I went on the trip even though I was. I was like, if I wasn't such a people pleaser, I would.
Steve Chou
This is a trip to Europe, trip.
Tony
To New York and Vegas with our friends Adam and Liz. And I was. And I also was like, I don't want to go hang out with people and have to pretend like my life is great. Right? Like, I don't want to have to go and talk about, oh, my business is amazing, blah, blah, blah. So, you know what really was the. The breakthrough for me was I admitted to Adam and Liz while we were together that I didn't want to be there. And if you've ever.
Steve Chou
Why would you do that? Okay.
Tony
I know you're like, no, I'm surprised you have any friends.
Steve Chou
Better not say that.
Tony
No, I was really honest. And I think this is step one is. Is Adam, Liz, are some of my closest friends. So I will say this needs to be with A trusted friend group. This cannot be with, like, the random neighbor that you decided to, like, stop by. I don't really want to be talking to you right now, but we were at dinner, and I said, you know, I really didn't want to do this trip. I feel like I'm not in a good place right now. I feel like I kind of don't know what direction I want to go in. And I felt like coming on this trip was just perpetuating this false perception. Right? And it felt really good to admit it. Right. And I think that if you have. I think that's the step one is if you have someone in your life that is a good friend, someone in a mastermind group, maybe it's even, like a family member that you're close with, right? To just say, hey, like, I'm really feeling, like, lost and stuck right now. Like, I don't know what direction I should go to or go, I don't know where my business should be right now. I feel like I should be in a different place. Being able to say that out loud actually lifted, like, this huge weight off me. And as soon as I said it, it was almost like, oh, now I'm kind of happy to be here. Right? It was like I could be honest about it and then take the next step.
Steve Chou
That's interesting. I don't know if I can relate to that.
Tony
Admitting. Admitting a fault, admitting weakness.
Steve Chou
I'm just thinking to myself, so I've been getting this way because, you know, my kids are. Are getting older, and they're going to be out of the house, and I'm thinking to myself, actually, as. As long as I can remember, like, they are my life, right? Like, I would say 60% of my brain right now thinks about them, their future, and. And all that stuff, what we're going to be doing together. And only a small portion of my brain is. Is actually with the business. Think about the business most of the time. And it's. It's tough. I. I listened to a podcast the other day where the guy was talking about just getting older, and he was like, yeah, you're gonna go to a lot more funerals than. I'm like, why?
Tony
Yeah, that's definitely not our recommendation. If you're feeling stuck, listen to a very depressing podcast.
Steve Chou
Maybe it's just because I feel like 50 is a milestone.
Tony
It is. Because you realize that definitely half your life is over. Yes, you'll probably live to be, like, 100. You'll be some old Chinese man. But for most of us, so when.
Steve Chou
My best friend came up, we were like, do we want to live to 100 also?
Tony
Yeah, maybe not. Depends on the quality of life.
Steve Chou
So, I mean, you saying things out loud made you feel better? I have yet to find a conversation that will make me feel better about that, because I know it's inevitably coming the.
Tony
The 50 or the kids.
Steve Chou
Like, I got. I got. Well, no, the kids. I got one year until, you know, my daughter goes to school, and then I got three years, and then. Then what's left after that? I. I know, like, I can't go and travel all the time and be happy. That's just not me. So I. I guess I would have to either work harder at work, you know, businesses and stuff, which I'm not 100% sure will make me happy, or I find a hobby.
Tony
Okay, so not to be giving you parenting advice, although I. I have a little more experience on the parenting side.
Steve Chou
Yeah, you got. You probably got like, 3 1/2 x more experience.
Tony
So when my first kid got married, and she got married pretty young, I remember at her wedding, her dad was, like, crushed, right? Just, like, barely keeping it together, walking her down the aisle, even though we love the guy she married, right? He's absolutely fantastic. One of the greatest people I've ever met in my life. Great addition to our family. My perspective was she's taken the next step. Like, this is a good thing. Like, we're just moving to another phase in our relationship. Right? Like, I viewed it as that. He viewed it as losing something, which I think is what you're viewing, like, your kids going to that next phase for you is kind of like a loss, right? I viewed it as, like, an accomplishment. Like, yes, we made it. We made it to step three. And I will say, like, I just was out to dinner with my adult son. Well, all my sons are adults, but my son, who has a family, last night. And I love my. I love the phase with my adult kids. Like, I love our conversations. I love the things we do together. To me, it's 30 times better than them in high school. Like, never. I would never want to go back to that. Right. So I guess for me, I always look forward to, like, the future stuff with my kids because I feel like it just gets better and better the older they get. But I also see what you're saying about, like, it definitely does feel like your life is going to fundamentally change once your kids leave.
Steve Chou
Okay. There's a lot of uncertainty here because all your kids are close by. You can see them wherever you Want. But what if one of them decides to go to the East Coast?
Tony
I'm on the east coast, but they could go to the West Coast.
Steve Chou
Well, you know what I'm saying, 3,000 miles away, and then they find someone there, and then all of a sudden, I don't see them. Maybe once a year at most.
Tony
See, but that's the thing. Like, in my mind, I don't think I would ever like my kids because I know I have a couple kids that definitely do not want to stay here. Right. And are. They're in school right now. So I think when they get the opportunity, they'll leave. And that's fine with me because I feel like one. I want them to be happy. And I know what it's like to live somewhere where you don't want to be. And I moved all. I mean, I graduated and moved away, you know, and lived away for 20 years. And we always came back. I mean, we came back two, three, four times a year sometimes. And I know for me, like, if I have a kid that lives in, please don't live in Seattle, but if I had a kid that lived in Seattle, I would be in Seattle three or four times a year. And I also feel like. And obviously I'm spoiled. My kids live very, very close to me, some of them with me. But I feel like if they moved, I would still see them pretty regularly. Yeah.
Steve Chou
I mean, on the flip side, no one can afford a house anyway.
Tony
Yeah, they're not going anywhere. They're not going anywhere.
Steve Chou
They'll be back. I was a little shocked to hear that you didn't want to be in Vegas, though. I mean, what's up with you?
Tony
I think so. I think when you're in a rut, you like to. For me, personally, when I'm in a rut, I just want to withdraw. Right. I don't want to have to talk to people. I don't want to have to put on, like, the happy face. I don't want to have to. And I also don't have a personality of, like, we all have these friends where, like, when you talk to them, it's like, Eeyore, right? Everything's bad, everything's wrong. You know, like, every conversation you have, the sky is falling. And I don't want to be that person personally. Like, that's just not so. When I'm feeling down on where I am, my business, whatever it is, I don't want to be around people because I don't want to have to, like, fake it. And I also don't want to be the person that's like, well, everything's terrible, you know, I want to. I always want to make people feel better when they're around me. So I think that's part of, like, why I just didn't want to be around anybody.
Steve Chou
I see. I see. I don't really talk about that stuff. I usually just find a solution.
Tony
Well, if you're not Asian, you need to talk about things, so.
Steve Chou
That's true.
Tony
We're not used to white people haven't been trained to shove everything so deep that you can just continue on with your. With your life.
Steve Chou
It's funny, for me, talking about things like, doesn't make me feel better. Solutions make me feel better. Well, or like, direction makes you feel better.
Tony
And I actually agree with you. And for. But for me, though, I don't necessarily think that I. I can always or anyone can always come up with those solutions by yourself. Sometimes you need outside perspective to help you get to that solution. And so for me, saying, like, hey, guys, I didn't really want to go on this trip, and then being able to have a conversation like, why not? Right? And then I say, well, this is. This is kind of where I'm at. And you, you know, I gave three things or whatever, and then being able to kind of talk through and having other people's perspective, people who know me really well. Right. Obviously, I don't. I don't think you should have this conversation with your, you know, neighbor three doors down. I actually thought it was really helpful because we all kind of sat around and had conversations of like, yeah, I felt that way too. Or, you know, but look at this part of your business or look at what you're doing here. Have you thought about this in, like, helping you shift perspective? That's where I think that talking about it. And it's why I think masterminds are so good. Right? You go into a mastermind, you bring up a. Usually it's a business problem. Right? You bring up a business problem. You probably know the answer to your business problem, but you're probably looking at it the wrong way. And so it takes the other people in the group with a fresh perspective to help you see things that are probably right in front of you, but you've just missed.
Steve Chou
I think one thing that's worked for me in the past is when I'm not sure which direction to take, I just pick any direction and then just go with it. It's hard to do.
Tony
I really am not. I want to make a comment so bad But I'm not going to.
Steve Chou
Why?
Tony
Ended up in a 27 year terrible marriage. So I don't recommend Edit, Edit, Edit.
Steve Chou
Stick with that direction.
Tony
Seven years, I'm a sticker with her, you know.
Steve Chou
That's true. You are, you are actually, to a certain extent. So am I, right? I've been doing the similar things for a long time.
Tony
That's why I don't like to pick something because I'm like, if this is the wrong move, I'm in for the long haul in the wrong direction.
Steve Chou
Well, okay, if something was totally a failure, you would stop, right?
Tony
Although I edit, edit, edit. So I'll tell you one of the things that really helped me while I was in Vegas. And I think for people who. If you're. Because I think, and I know you don't relate to this, but I think there are times when people are so overwhelmed that they cannot pick a direction. There is a point of overwhelm where even picking a direction is impossible. And I think one of the best things that you can do when you're in that space is to do something radically different. And I'm not talking about like, choose your own adventure, but like, so what I decided to do was a cold plunge. And you know, I do not like the cold. I do not like cold water. So doing a cold plunge for me was like a, like almost like a fear, right? Because I was like, if I go in this cold plunge, I will never warm up. In my mind I was like, I will be cold for the next three days. Um, and so I did something that like, I didn't want to do was not. It was totally out of my comfort zone and it wasn't like this massive like thing, right? I just did one shift in what I normally do and that was actually, I don't want to say it was life changing, so I can't give it that much credit. But it was definitely. It broke me out of that rut pretty quickly. And I don't know what I mean. People who like are really into cold plunges probably understand the science behind it and I don't. Um, but I will say doing something really different that was out of my comfort zone was actually really helpful in sort of getting me out of that rut because it just was a complete, like environment change for me.
Steve Chou
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Tony
Where am I? I live in Florida. We don't have cold plunges. It's all 87 degrees.
Steve Chou
No, you just need a bucket. You just need to, you can buy it on Amazon.
Tony
You need a bucket. No, and I, and I, I thought about it. I was like, oh, I could, I could do this regularly and I could, right? I think my gym actually has something like that. But for me it was like just a jolt to my system. So I can think of other ways to do this, right? Like, Cause not everybody, like, there's a lot of people are like, I'll never do a cold plunge. I would say if you are a casual drinker, quit alcohol for like a month, right? If you do not exercise at all, tell yourself you're going to walk a mile every night, right? Do something completely out of your routine. It doesn't have to be some, you don't have to jump out of an airplane or you know, do anything. I mean, you can absolutely, if that's what you feel like you need to do. But do something that would present to you something that's a challenge or a difficulty that you normally would not take on. So for me, getting in a cold plunge was like. And it's so funny because we were, Liz and I were talking about this yesterday. We were like, we're gonna do the cold plunge. And we went in it and I think we were in it for like 45 seconds. And we're like done high five, like ran out of it and got back in the hot tub, right? And as we sat in the hot tub again, we were like, you know, we could probably, we could probably go longer, right? Like, that was kind of wimpy, like 45 seconds. That doesn't really seem like we really gave it the best that we could. So we went back in. We went in for five minutes. Might have been a little longer than five minutes because we kind of stopped tracking after a Bit. But not only did we. You feel, you feel absolutely fantastic when you get out of a cold plunge, which is crazy to me, but the feeling of accomplishment and feeling of doing something that like, I normally would have been like, absolutely not, I will never do this actually gave me. I don't know what the right word is. It propelled me kind of through the month of January and got me to a point where I was like, all these things that I was really down on kind of helped me flip the script on them and allowed me to, like, pull some levers that I probably wouldn't have seen because it just put me in a completely different mindset.
Steve Chou
I always need something to push me into action. Like I told you about how I'm doing those sprints now, right? So for everyone listening, I am now doing these 400 meter sprints where you sprint and then you walk 90 seconds and you sprint and you walk 90 seconds and you do that 10 times. The reason is because I play ultimate and I was playing with these 30 year olds. Like, I'm 50 now. I'm playing with these 30 year olds and they kept kicking my butt. And so that's what pushed me into doing that. Similarly, when I got my blood work done like the first time, and my everything was high, right? And cholesterol and triglyceride. This is probably too much information, but I ended up just cutting out all fried foods and beef. You know how much I like beef.
Tony
Yeah.
Steve Chou
So I need something external. And what I don't. What I. I guess I can't relate to what you're talking about is like, if you're stuck in this rut and you can't pick a direction, is doing something outside your comfort zone easier than picking a direction?
Tony
So I think, yes, it is. And here's why. Because I think if you're like, oh, I need to pick a direction with my business, or I need to pick a direction with my life, that has like pretty long standing consequences, right? Like if you're like, I'm just gonna quit selling on Amazon, right? And that's your, that's your direction, that might be a really bad idea and a decision to make when you're in the depths, right? But if you say, hey, I'm gonna walk a mile every day, you know, before I go to bed, right? Something like that. You're. You're not gonna, like, damage. I mean, you're not in risk of like losing your house, right. You're just making a change. And I think there's something about consistency making the change Committing to something and then seeing, like, the success of it, like, hey, I've done this. It's why all those fitness tracker apps work. It's why all the goal setting, it's like, why all those things work. Because it allows you to see your progress. And then once you realize, like, hey, if I, if I did this for 30 days, it's like I was talking to Lars. He takes a cold shower every morning. I find that to be horrific, but, you know, the same as your cold. It is, but every single day. But he's like, I feel amazing, right? Like, he's like, I feel amazing, it's great. And everybody I know that does that feels amazing and says it's great. Like, I've never met anyone that's like, I keep doing it even though it's absolutely miserable. They're like, no, I don't really like it, but I feel so great afterwards. But I think part of it is actually physiologically you feel great, but also there's a sense of, like, accomplishment. It's the same concept of like making your bed every morning, Right. Starting your day with a win, checking something off. I think making some sort of change externally is a way to sort of kickstart you into, you know, making another decision that has a lot better, a lot more consequences than giving up alcohol for a month or something like that.
Steve Chou
I think the secret solution to all of this is exercise.
Tony
I know we talk about this a lot. I agree.
Steve Chou
After I do my sprints, I feel horrible for about 20 minutes while I'm trying to recover.
Tony
I take a three hour nap and then I'm very motivated.
Steve Chou
But after my shower, after that run, I feel amazing, like I can accomplish anything. So now my first instinct, whenever I feel anything now is to go lift weights or do my sprints.
Tony
But see, that's exactly the point, right? Like, after I did the cold plunge and I was like, wow, I did something that I thought I could not do, I was very motivated to start doing other things that I, you know, maybe fear was keeping me back or apprehension or, you know, whatever it was. Right. It sort of kicked me through that and got me to a point where I was like, excited about things again.
Steve Chou
Yeah. So it's similar to a workout, the cold plunge, it like resets your brain. After I did Wim Hof, I remember, and we did the cold plunge, I felt amazing. In fact, I was doing that Wim Hof stuff, the breathing for a long time afterwards until I, I just kind of, you know, felt I didn't need it anymore. But maybe the cold plunge is just like going running or something.
Tony
Yeah. And you know, it's interesting. Everybody that I meet that's like really grounded and just has like a very like assured presence about them. All of them do like breathing exercises, every single one of them. It's like the common thread with these people. So to me, it's like, I do think doing these external things, whatever it is. Right. I do agree with you. I think if you can get out and do some sort of exercise, some sort of movement, I think that's a game changer. But if you're not at the point where you're ready to do that, anything that you can change. Right. In your lifestyle I think can help you get out of a rut in your business, even though it's not necessarily related to your business.
Steve Chou
On your last comment, every assured, grounded person I've ever met, if I think they're like that, that means I don't know them well enough.
Tony
No. I know everybody has their things. But if I think about people where I'm like. So perfect example, this is Dana. Right. She's a very balanced individual. Does she have issues? Absolutely. We all do. Right. But like, I feel like a lot of her balance comes from her routines. Right. She does her yoga, stretching, she does her breathing exercises. She has a whole thing that she does. Right. She's very, very grounded in like her lifestyle, which I think helps her and has helped her in the past make really smart decisions in her business.
Steve Chou
Yeah, Yeah. I, I think one thing that's helped me also is you mentioned this already, like a routine. I'm gonna do this every day forever or, you know, for, for like 30 days or 60 days. For me, it's usually forever because if. Let's just take working out for. Let's take this running. I hate running. You know, I hate running. Right. And before when I said I was just going to run once a week, I can never maintain that for some reason. But now that I've told myself I'm going to do it every other day, it's easy.
Tony
Yeah.
Steve Chou
And then because even though I hate every minute of it, believe me, I hate every minute of it because my field, my lungs are burning and whatnot. But just putting down.
Tony
No, I know I do them, they're. It's absolutely horrible.
Steve Chou
But I also have that goal of being able to keep up with those 30 year olds in the back of my mind also, everything that I do, actually, I have a very regimented routine for my business. Right. Like I do content on a certain Day, I prepare lesson plans, I do office hours. In a certain day, I spend one day thinking, which is very helpful also. But if I didn't have that routine, I'd be like all over the place, I think.
Tony
Yeah, so I think that's another good point and another step that you should take if you're in a rut is to create that routine. But I would say throw out every piece of advice you've received on what the routine should look like and create your own routine. So here's the thing. Like for me, most people are like, get up first thing, exercise, do this, whatever. Well, like I have literally zero energy at the end of the day. So for me, if I spend most of my morning like exercising, then getting ready, blah, blah, blah, by the time I get on my computer, I'm already like past my peak performance time. Whereas I do much better if I get on my computer at 7am, right? And if I get up early and I get all of the like hard thinking, processing things out of the way from like 7 to 11, right? And then I can go to the gym at 2:30, right? And, and I can will myself at the gym, right. But I can't will my brain into being creative, you know what I mean? Or I can't will my brain into problem solving when I don't have anything left. But I can will myself to walk around the block, right? Or you know, take a cold shower. You know, these things that are like purely like physical actions are much easier. And so I think everybody knows when they're the most productive. So if, and I know people that are for a fact super productive in the evening. It's, I don't understand that. I did not get that gene in any way, shape or form. But there are people who work really well in the evening. And so all this get up soup, 4am, you know, blah, blah, blah. That, that is not that they cannot try to have that routine because they read it in a book. They need to schedule their day around productivity when they're the most productive. So I think throw out everything you've read about scheduling and make a schedule that is the best for you and how your body operates and how your brain functions and don't listen to anybody else. If you're not an early bird, don't try to be one. I know a lot of people talk about it, but like, and for me I love it because it totally jives with how I work. But it doesn't for some people. And they find, and I find those people like they're Never as productive as they could be until they make the shift themselves.
Steve Chou
So I keep getting hung up on this. So back to your cold plunge thing. So what, what happened after that? For me, it was just temporary, but it seemed like it had a much longer lasting effect on you.
Tony
So first of all. So it probably didn't hurt that I was in the cold plunge with Liz. So while we were in the cold plunge, we literally came up with four business ideas in that five minutes. And we're like, you know, what about this? What about that? We should do this? What do you think of this? So we went in and like literally came up with a business plan in that five min for something that we, her and I have been throwing around for 12 years. Right. So I think part of it was it just like kind of shocked our brain into like, wait, we could do this. So I think part of it was just the clarity that we got while we were actually in the water. And then I think the bigger thing for me was if I can get in the cold plunge and do this, then I can do a lot of other things that I have. Like, like, I don't feel like I'm qualified or, oh, I don't really, I don't belong here. Oh, I shouldn't be doing this. Like, no, I do belong. I can do it. I should be doing it. Right. So it sort of like broke through some of my own, like, personal limitations I put on myself. And I think that's what happens to anybody when they do something that they didn't think they could do that was too hard. You look at Leslie Samuel, I know we've talked about him a couple times, he did that 75 hard, which I think is absolutely nuts. But it's. If you can look it up, it's a whole workout routine. But like, the progress I've seen in his life from the changes he's made in his fitness is like insane in his business life. Right? Like, the carryover is crazy. He's like landed all these gigs and he's doing all these things now that he wasn't doing before. And I think they're related, right? I think they're related because he convinced himself he could do something really difficult and that leads to convincing yourself you can do other things that you doubted about yourself before.
Steve Chou
It is hard to do. 75.
Tony
Oh, yeah. I am not endorsing that, by the way.
Steve Chou
What I mean by that is, like to get yourself mentally prepared to do that. That sounds way overwhelming than any ride.
Tony
Yes. That's why I'm not saying do 75 hard to get out of a rut. If you could do 75 hard, you're probably not in the worst rut, but it's just committing to doing something right every single day. That's difficult or a change maybe. It doesn't have to be difficult, it just has to be different. I think that's the other thing, Right. It doesn't necessarily have to be. Take a cold shower every day. It could be. I'm going to. Here's a big one, right? Like, I'm not going to go on my phone after X time at night, right. I'm going to put my phone on the other side of the room and I'm going to read a book. Right. Or I'm going to go to bed a half hour earlier. I'm going to wake up a half hour earlier, whatever it is. Right. Um, but just making a change to. I just think these types of changes, like, are a little shock to your system and then allow you to sort of reset other parts of your system as well.
Steve Chou
I mean, what you're trying to say is, is break your regular routine. And we were just talking about establishing a routine, but maybe the routine you're in kind of sucks.
Tony
I mean, it probably does, right? Like, I, I meet very few people who, who are like, I have the best routine. Most of them are like, oh man, I'm a mess. Right? Most people just don't. Most people are probably not operating in a way that they want to operate at this point if they're feeling that way. Right. So breaking the routine and then creating a new one, I think is. Is a big thing. But I will say, I think it all starts with. This is all very hard to do if you're in a rut, which is why I think you've got to tell somebody. Most people, I know you can do this, but most people can't just will themselves into the next thing.
Steve Chou
I think you got to tell somebody that, that you respect who can kind of help you.
Tony
Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
Steve Chou
Okay. Right.
Tony
Don't tell Steve. Don't tell. That's all I'm saying. Don't tell Steve. You're in a rut.
Steve Chou
I think at least for me. And maybe like the Asians in the audience can relate to this. Then like, go out and run around the block, right? And, and get yourself tired. And then once you're in that euphoric state, which is where I always get after working out, pick a direction and, and go with it. I, I think the Problem, at least for me, has always been commitment. Like, it's a big thing to commit to something since I know I'm going to do it for like three to five years. Right. And. And so I end up just kind of waiting on the sidelines because I'm not ready to commit to that thing. But I always make better decisions when I'm exhausted. I don't know why that is. Because you don't feel stressed when you're already tired?
Tony
No, no.
Steve Chou
Because you're just tired and you have a clear mind. Like, I wish I could make all my decisions when I'm running. Like, like when I do this trail by my house where there's a hill, it's about 0.8 miles up. And during that time, like, it's miserable. But once you get to the top and when you're on your way down, it's all downhill back, back to the car. That is like the. When my mind is the clearest.
Tony
Yeah.
Steve Chou
I'm just not willing to go through that pain to get that clear mind all the time.
Tony
And for the white people in the audience, get a therapist.
Steve Chou
Well, it's the same thing, I would imagine. Right. So you told someone that made you feel better. Right. And then you talked to the right person, in which case this was Liz. Right. And then you did something kind of out of the ordinary to get that clear mind, which in your case was the cold plunge.
Tony
Yeah.
Steve Chou
And then you came up with the direction.
Tony
Yeah, I, I, and I do think, and I don't want to. This is the one thing I want to make sure we don't do. I don't want to minimize, like, being in a rut. I know there are people that are in truly like, really bad places.
Steve Chou
Sure.
Tony
And at that point, you know, it might not be as simple as just jumping in a cold plunge or running up a hill. So I don't want to make it sound like this is a cure all, but I think for a lot of us, it really is just about jarring your routine. Right. Coming up with something new, switching things around. And I think the other thing that, and this is what really I don't want to say bothered me about seller summit, because I thought seller summit was fantastic. The people that didn't come because they didn't feel like they were in a good place, to me, those are the people that needed to be there the most to surround yourself with other people who want you to succeed. And I think Liz, in her closing keynote talked about, you know, you're the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Right. And how she heard that quote like 10 or 11 years ago and it really like changed the direction of her life. And I think that's so true. Right. Think about where you're investing your time, who you're hanging out with, who you're interacting with on a regular basis. And are those people impacting you in a positive way? Are they helping you? Because, I mean, I think we all have friends that are perfectly happy to let us be in a Ruth. Right. And are perfectly happy to let it. You might not have because all your friends are Asian, but if, if you, if you have white friends, I, I think there's like we all have groups of people who really push us to be better and we have people who let us sit. Right. And so make sure that you have some people in your life that are going to push you, to move you forward and to keep you making that forward progress.
Steve Chou
Hope you enjoyed this episode. If it resonated with you, I'd love it if you shared it with a friend, left a review or reached out to let me know what hit home. For more information and resources, go to my wife quitherjob.com Episode 594 Once again, the recordings for Seller Summit 2025 are now on sale over at sellers summit.com and if you're interested in starting your own e commerce store, head on over to my wife, quit her job.com and sign up for my free six day mini course. Just type in your email and I'll send the course right away via email.
Navigating Entrepreneurial Stalls: Insights from Episode 594 of "The My Wife Quit Her Job Podcast"
In Episode 594 of "The My Wife Quit Her Job Podcast With Steve Chou," host Steve Chou and guest Tony delve into a topic that resonates deeply with many entrepreneurs: why so many hit a wall and how to break through. Released on June 11, 2025, this episode offers a candid exploration of the psychological and practical challenges faced when feeling stuck, even amidst apparent business success.
The episode opens with Steve recounting a personal experience on his 50th birthday, highlighting how unexpected challenges can exacerbate feelings of stagnation.
Steve Chou [01:35]: "I was just thinking because, like, I’ve been reflecting a lot... I’m more worried for my kids, actually, how it’s taking away jobs and whatnot."
This incident, where his website was attacked, serves as a metaphor for the unexpected hurdles entrepreneurs face, often coinciding with significant life milestones.
Tony acknowledges that feeling stuck is a universal experience, especially during transformative periods such as birthdays or major holidays.
Tony [05:28]: "I don’t think it’s embarrassing because I think to myself, like, why should I feel this way? My life is pretty good... So why should I not be happy with where I am?"
He shares his own struggles during festive seasons, revealing that external successes do not always translate to internal satisfaction.
A pivotal moment in the discussion revolves around the importance of admitting vulnerability to trusted friends.
Tony [06:46]: "I was like, I really didn’t want to do this trip. I feel like I’m not in a good place right now."
By being honest with close friends, Tony found relief and a newfound motivation, emphasizing that sharing struggles can alleviate the weight of feeling stuck.
Both hosts reflect on how milestones, such as turning 50 or children leaving home, trigger existential questions and uncertainties about the future.
Steve Chou [08:07]: "As long as I can remember, like, they are my life... And only a small portion of my brain is actually with the business."
These reflections underscore the interplay between personal life changes and business dynamics, highlighting the complexity of maintaining momentum in entrepreneurship.
The conversation shifts to actionable strategies for overcoming these challenges. Tony introduces the concept of doing something radically different to reset one's mindset.
Tony [17:15]: "Doing something really different that was out of my comfort zone was actually really helpful in sort of getting me out of that rut."
He shares his experience with a cold plunge—a practice outside his comfort zone—that acted as a catalyst for breaking free from his stagnant state.
Steve and Tony discuss the significance of establishing a personalized routine that aligns with individual productivity patterns.
Steve Chou [28:30]: "I am actually going to do this every day forever... putting down."
They advocate for routines tailored to one's unique rhythm rather than adhering to generic advice, reinforcing that personalization is key to sustained productivity.
Emphasizing the connection between physical activities and mental clarity, Tony elaborates on how challenging physical tasks can lead to breakthroughs in business.
Tony [25:31]: "The feeling of accomplishment and feeling of doing something that I normally would have been like, absolutely not... propelled me kind of through the month of January."
Such activities not only disrupt negative cycles but also ignite a sense of achievement, fostering a proactive mindset essential for entrepreneurial resilience.
The episode culminates with reflections on the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and building a supportive network.
Tony [35:26]: "Surround yourself with other people who want you to succeed."
Steve echoes this sentiment, highlighting that a supportive community can be instrumental in maintaining motivation and driving forward progress.
Acknowledge and Admit: Recognizing feelings of stagnation and openly discussing them with trusted individuals can alleviate internal pressures.
Embrace Personal Routines: Develop a daily routine that suits your personal productivity patterns, rather than following generic advice.
Challenge Your Comfort Zone: Engage in activities that push your boundaries to reset your mindset and foster a sense of accomplishment.
Build a Supportive Network: Surround yourself with positive influences who encourage your growth and success.
Balance Personal and Professional Life: Understand the interplay between personal milestones and business dynamics to navigate changes effectively.
By intertwining personal anecdotes with practical advice, Steve Chou and Tony offer a comprehensive guide for entrepreneurs navigating the inevitable ebbs and flows of their business journeys. Episode 594 serves as a valuable resource for anyone seeking to overcome feelings of being stuck and propel their entrepreneurial endeavors forward.