Public Figures Podcast - Episode 10: “Babies”
Date: April 8, 2026
Hosts: Brian Bates (A), Aaron Weber (C), Dusty Slay (B)
Overview:
This episode of Public Figures takes on the wobbly, wonderful topic of babies! Brian, Aaron, and Dusty riff on new arrivals (including Dusty's new baby), wild baby trivia, childhood memories, generational baby name trends, and the staggering realities of population shifts. With their signature blend of southern wit, personal anecdotes, and spontaneous comic tangents, the hosts mix in genuine warmth with the laughs. Listeners get a hilarious and occasionally heartfelt look at what changes (and doesn’t) when babies arrive, along with the group’s observations on everything from recording TV on VHS to the mysteries of baby animal names.
Main Segments and Discussion Points
1. Life Events One-Upping (02:51–05:00)
- Specials vs. Books vs. Babies:
The episode opens with a classic round of friendly ribbing about major life announcements. Brian taped a comedy special, and almost immediately Dusty "one-upped" him by announcing the birth of his new baby.- "So what did he do? This week, this…couldn’t wait 24 hours, he has to have a kid!" (03:21, Brian)
- Dusty jokes, “By the time your special comes out, the book will already be announced and everything will be clear. The runway will be clear.” (03:28)
- Book Signings and Parenting Logistics:
Discussion of whether to bring your kids to a local book signing:- “You can't do something that close to home and not bring your kids.” (04:51, Dusty)
2. Comedy Career Updates (05:29–06:59)
- Brian gives appreciation for his comedy special taping at Zanies.
- A brief digression into “Breakfast at Zany’s” jokes and ‘90s earworm “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”
- The group juggles personal milestones, reflecting on how their work and lives interweave.
3. Baby Arrivals & Parenting (09:55–12:27; 65:02–66:53)
- Dusty’s New Baby:
Dusty introduces his six-day-old son, Sonny Ray Slay, named in part for his father-in-law and inspired by a Robert Redford film.- “We got Daisy, Sammy, and Sonny. I like that. We call him Sam Sammy.” (10:50, Dusty)
- The group reflects on siblings becoming big kids once a new baby arrives:
- “I just think of him like a little baby until I brought a...baby, an actual baby. And I’m like, well, you’re a little kid.” (65:42, Dusty)
- Babysitting & Childhood Freedoms:
They recall their first times left alone as kids and how norms have changed.- "Back then there was no crime, really. And—yeah, life was good." (12:22, Dusty, tongue firmly in cheek)
- On Gender and Toddler Terminology:
The hosts joke about how kids get misgendered if not dressed overtly and on being startled when “buddy” is used for a daughter.
4. Hotel Hijinks on the Road (07:07–09:51)
- Aaron describes a fraught experience at the Drury Inn in Gainesville, FL:
- Fridge fails, baby medicine emergency, and a fruitless negotiation with staff.
- “You ever stay at the Melancholy Inn? That’s what it sounds like, the Drury.” (07:49, Aaron)
5. VHS Nostalgia and Family Work Stories (15:07–18:00)
- The crew reminisces about growing up with VHS tapes, including Dusty’s mom working third shift in an Ampex factory.
- Discussion on the legality of taping TV shows (Betamax Supreme Court case reference).
- “Remember when there was a VHS rewinder, a separate thing just for rewinding tapes?” (17:26, Dusty)
6. Listener Comments & Running Gags (18:07–61:26)
- Baby Names, Catchphrases & Signature Moves:
- Listeners’ comments trigger playful discussion about appropriating Dusty’s “having a good time!” line and Aaron’s “This is Aaron Weber” intro.
- “You gotta find another way to say it. ‘I’m enjoying myself.’ That sounds weird.” (21:12, Aaron)
- Artemis 2 and Moon Talk:
- Extended riffing on the Artemis 2 mission, moon photos, and hypothetical first words on the dark side of the Moon.
- “I just envisioned Nate doing arenas on the moon and I’m over there performing on the dark side.” (23:45, Brian)
- Famous Audience Members:
They swap stories on notable folks who have seen their sets, including Tom Hanks, Kid Rock, Gene Simmons, and Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban. - Dental & Doctor Trips with Kids: (68:00–72:00)
- Pediatric check-ups, shots, and kid dentist visits—real parental pain points get a comic airing.
- "I call it Bad Friday. I'm like, another holiday for this guy. Come on..." (67:51, Brian, on preschool closures)
Deep Dives & Fun Facts (77:43–107:10)
Baby Biology Trivia
- Babies are “super strong” in their legs relative to weight.
- No kneecaps at birth—cartilage hardens later.
- 30,000 taste buds (triple the adults), covering more of the mouth.
- Babies see black/white, then red, then colors—why kids’ books are so color-blocked.
- Newborns can breathe and swallow at the same time (until ~7 months).
- Babies double weight by 6 months, triple by a year.
Names Across Generations (82:02–94:00)
- 2020s Girl Names: Olivia, Emma, Amelia, Charlotte, Mia.
- 2020s Boy Names: Liam, Noah, Oliver, Theodore, James.
- 1970s–90s: Brian, Michael, Christopher, Jason, etc.—and the outliers.
- Notable for both “old-fashioned” name revivals and comic riffs on regional names (e.g., Jim Bob Cooter, Mr. Simpson).
- Discussion: “Gertrude” and “Myrtle” now only seen as “old” names.
Baby Animal Names Game (94:09–97:17)
- Baby goat = kid; kangaroo = joey; pig = piglet; rabbit = bunny or kit; alligator = hatchling.
- “Caterpillar? I didn’t know a caterpillar was just the baby [butterfly]. I just thought, that’s just some life change.” (96:25, Brian)
World Babies & Population Changes
- Fertility rates now below replacement in nearly all continents.
- Discussion on China’s one-child policy, and current reverse incentives.
- “China…direct subsidies of about $500 per child each year until age 3…” (105:21, Brian)
- 1963: Worldwide average was 5.3 births/woman; now ~2.2.
- Riff: Poorer/less educated countries have higher birth rates.
Record-Holding Babies
- The heaviest baby ever born: ~22 lbs, to the tallest couple in history (both ~8 ft).
- Photo described as “one of the least flattering pictures of a woman I’ve ever seen.” (108:30, Aaron; comic exaggeration)
- First IVF Baby: Born 1978; oldest frozen embryo birth was 31 years frozen (born ~2025).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Announcements:
“I was gonna tell something funny, but that's fine. Okay.” (02:15, Brian—classic dry delivery) - Naming the New Baby:
“Well, my wife’s dad’s name’s Raymond and he goes by Ray, so we named him Ray after that. And we just like the name Sonny.” (10:29, Dusty) - Babysitting by Siblings:
“My mom worked third shift and my sister, we lived in a trailer park and my sister lived next door to us in a trailer, so she was always close by.” (11:34, Dusty) - On Baby Names:
“I think there is a real comeback of the older names, but not too old…Not a lot of Ediths and Myrtles.” (83:00, Dusty) - On Parenting Paranoia:
“Apparently there’s a thing newborns do where now and then, their heart rate will just kind of dip out of nowhere…most babies aren’t hooked up to these monitors 24/7.” (98:43, Aaron) - On the Past:
“The 70s felt free. I mean, I wasn’t alive then, but in hindsight, it seems like a free time.” (90:35, Dusty) - On Podcast Chemistry:
“Aaron and Dusty, I consider two of my best friends. We text every day. I’m not saying it goes the other way…” (47:47, Brian) - On Bird Poop:
“Her mind's gonna be blown.” (102:14, Brian, after discovering bird poop is white due to uric acid) - Final Self-Knock:
“Nate would probably say, ‘Nah, they're friends of each other. And I...I just...They work for me.’” (118:18, Brian)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Life Announcements & Comedy Special: 02:51–06:59
- Parenthood Milestones: 09:55–12:27; 65:02–66:53
- Road/Hotel Stories: 07:07–09:51
- VHS/Family History: 15:07–18:00
- Listener Comments & Artemis Moon Riffing: 18:07–24:09
- Famous Audience Stories: 43:47–46:31
- Dentist for Kids: 68:00–72:00
- Baby Facts & Trivia: 77:41–81:00
- Generational Name Trends: 82:02–94:00
- Baby Animal Names Game: 94:09–97:17
- Population Decline and IVF facts: 103:04–107:10
- Record-breaking Babies: 108:02–110:44
- Baby Monitors & Modern Paranoia: 113:35–114:09
Tone & Style
The episode is heavy on camaraderie, comic tangents, and good-natured teasing. While the topic is “Babies,” the real theme is about change: in life, in family, in culture, and how the little things (and the little people) can make everything different. The humor is sharp but affectionate, rich in southern flavor and real-life observations.
Useful for New Listeners
If you missed the episode, you’ll get:
- Behind-the-scenes glimpses of the comics’ offstage lives
- Laughs about growing up then vs. now, and how fragile/crazy memory can be
- Unexpected knowledge on baby animals, world fertility trends, and why babies are “stronger than oxen”
- Candid admissions about jealousy, friendship, and showbiz
- The comfort that no matter how wild your week is, you’re not the only one feeling outnumbered by babies (or podcast hosts).
For tour dates, book info, and recommended children’s books like “The Wonky Donkey,” visit the hosts’ pages or social media links as plugged throughout the show!
End of Summary.
