13: #13 | Man-Made Disasters with Kathleen Madigan

Summary

Public Figures Podcast | Episode 13: Man-Made Disasters with Kathleen Madigan

Date: April 29, 2026
Hosts: Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay
Guest: Kathleen Madigan

---

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, comedians Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slay welcome iconic stand-up Kathleen Madigan to discuss some of history’s wildest man-made disasters—both literal and personal. The conversation covers everything from Malaysia Airlines and Chernobyl to the Boston Molasses Flood and disastrous public bathrooms, all peppered with comedic anecdotes and Madigan’s signature observational wit. The hosts and guest also veer into travel, cabins in the woods, and what it means to “rearrange” your life—sometimes by moving to the woods, other times by just moving your furniture.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Touring Life & Hotel Experiences

[02:10–06:16]

• The hosts swap road stories—Brian’s marriage conference gig, Dusty’s experiences with quirky breweries and hat preferences, and some classic gripes about eating pre-show dinners with event attendees.
• Gift from a listener: The Drury Hotel left Brian a gift bag after hearing themselves mentioned on the podcast.

---

2. Public Bathrooms & "Man-Made" Messes

[21:02–24:51]

• Brian introduces Kathleen Madigan with a callback to frequent podcast discussions about public restrooms.
• Kathleen shares her experience with an “all-gender” bathroom at the renovated Kansas City Airport.
  • “This old farmer guy in overalls…walks up, we both were colliding. And he looks at the all-gender [sign]. He has no idea what is going on.” – Kathleen Madigan [22:17]
• The group debates the merits of having timers or paying for stall time to cut down on phone-use-based loitering.
• Discussion extends to plane bathrooms and the importance of shoes:
  • “Don’t ever walk around in your socks on a plane. All that stuff from the old men is on the floor.” – Kathleen Madigan [24:15]

---

3. Kathleen Madigan’s Malaysia Airlines Obsession

[30:06–36:52]

• Kathleen describes her enduring fascination with the missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.
  • “I care more than the families. And I'm not accepting settlements in case anybody's wondering if you should offer me something.” – Kathleen Madigan [30:27]
• She details theories, the dangerous Indian Ocean, and skepticism that the plane will ever be found.
  • Discussion on pilot responsibility and industry reluctance to definitively assign blame:
    • “They’d have to take responsibility then. And then they’d have to pay all these people more than $4 or whatever they gave them.” [36:52]

---

4. Flying: Commercial vs. Private

[41:13–46:34]

• Kathleen and the hosts talk through a “who died in a private plane” death list—concluding commercial flying is much safer.
  • “Let's go through the amount of celebrities that have died on Delta. Icshnay. How about Southwest? Nae nae. None.” – Kathleen Madigan [42:11]
• Kathleen’s personal preference: commercial airlines and horses over helicopters or private jets.

---

5. Man-Made Disasters: Infamous & Bizarre

[48:12–70:15]

• Tacoma Narrows Bridge Collapse ([48:35])
  • Dramatic historic footage; only casualty was a dog.
• Chernobyl & the Babushkas ([61:52–68:46])
  • Kathleen loves the YouTube doc “The Babushkas of Chernobyl”—elderly women illegally living in the evacuation zone.
    • “There gets to be an age where she's just plucking mushrooms out of the dirt. God only knows how much radiation's in that. She don't care. What she got left, 20 years max, eat what you want.” – Kathleen Madigan [65:46]
• Great Molasses Flood ([69:41–71:14])
  • 2.3 million gallons of molasses swept through Boston streets, killing 21 people.
    • “Imagine you died by syrup and you didn't even have a frozen waffle in your hand.” – Kathleen Madigan [70:12]
• Other disasters: London Smog of 1952, fertilizer explosions, the Beirut port explosion (2020).

---

6. Baseball, Challenges & Public Restrooms

[72:31–79:22]

• 999 Challenge: 9 beers, 9 hot dogs, 9 innings—Kathleen could do the beers, hates the long “Dodger dogs.”
  • “Well, I could drink nine beers, no problem…I couldn't do the nine hot dogs.” – Kathleen Madigan [73:43]
• On singing the national anthem or “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” at ballparks.
  • Kathleen describes throwing a “strike” for a Cubs first pitch, with Aaron there for support.

---

7. Rearranging: Real Life & Reality TV

[99:54–102:56]

• Dusty pitches his reality show idea “The Rearranger”—helping people fix up their homes without buying anything new.
• Kathleen and Dusty bond over a desire to “rearrange” life by riding off to their cabins and living simply.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I care more than the families [about the missing plane]. And I'm not accepting settlements in case anybody's wondering if you should offer me something."
  — Kathleen Madigan [30:27]

• “Don’t ever walk around in your socks on a plane. All that stuff from the old men is on the floor.”
  — Kathleen Madigan [24:15]

• “There gets to be an age where she's just plucking mushrooms out of the dirt…what she got left, 20 years max, eat what you want.”
  — Kathleen Madigan on Chernobyl babushkas [65:46]

• About flying: “Let's go through the amount of celebrities that have died on Delta. Icshnay. How about Southwest? Nae nae. None.”
  — Kathleen Madigan [42:11]

• “Imagine you died by syrup and you didn't even have a frozen waffle in your hand.”
  — Kathleen Madigan [70:12]

• “The horse would know not to go...My stupid rental car didn’t.”
  — Kathleen Madigan on riding a horse being safer than driving in the mountains [54:14]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:10–06:16] – Weekend recaps, hotels, and road food
• [21:02–24:51] – Public bathroom debates and airport stories
• [30:06–36:52] – Malaysian Airlines disappearance deep dive
• [41:13–46:34] – Private vs. commercial flying and crash lists
• [48:35–50:52] – Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse
• [61:52–68:46] – Chernobyl, the Babushkas, and living with disaster
• [69:41–71:14] – Boston Molasses Flood and strange deaths
• [72:31–79:22] – Baseball, 999 challenge, and stadium performance stories
• [99:54–102:56] – “The Rearranger” concept and the philosophy of not buying new stuff

---

Tone & Style

The tone throughout is casual, irreverent, and loaded with observational comedy. Kathleen Madigan’s matter-of-fact delivery, coupled with Dusty and Aaron’s offbeat rural wisdom, keeps the chat accessible and friendly—a blend of comic storytelling and social commentary. For first-time listeners, it's like dropping in on comedians hanging out after a show, riffing on news stories, personal quirks, and the absurdity of modern life.

---

For New Listeners

This episode is an energetic, wide-ranging hour-plus journey through history’s accidental catastrophes and what makes them memorable or funny. It’s equally a showcase for Kathleen Madigan’s everywoman wisdom and dry humor. Whether you’re a disaster documentary nerd, road comic, or just deeply suspicious of private aviation, you’ll find something to enjoy in this irreverent, cleverly meandering conversation.

Transcript

[Kathleen Madigan]

This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let me tell you why Vital Farms pasture raised eggs are the only eggs I have in my fridge. The hens, they're living the good life. Fresh air, sunshine, and wide open pastures. I use my Vital Farms for my famous frittatas, and you could trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Check the carton for the farm name, pop it into vitalfarms.com farm and boom, you're looking at the pasture. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vitalfarms.com to learn more. Vital. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts.

[Brian Bates]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Public Figures podcast. So excited to be with you guys today. As always, we have Dusty Slay. All right, Aaron Weber.

[Aaron Weber]

Good morning, everybody.

[Brian Bates]

And join us a little bit later, the one, the only, Kathleen Batigan. We're very excited to have her.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's a big get for us.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. We've been wanting to get her, and today we got her, so we're excited to have her.

[Dusty Slay]

That was a great intro, Brian.

[Brian Bates]

Thank you.

[Dusty Slay]

Very good. You didn't insult anyone.

[Brian Bates]

I know. I'm trying not to. I want to. I want to.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. But it came in positive.

[Brian Bates]

Yep, yep.

[Dusty Slay]

And I appreciate it.

[Brian Bates]

Well, you're welcome. I want to call some people, some boards, some things like that.

[Aaron Weber]

I was hoping you just double down each and every week, and then by the end of it, you're just screaming obscenities.

[Brian Bates]

Now, every week, people threaten to leave or say they, we are leaving because of me being too mean. So I'm gonna cut that stick and.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I appreciate it.

[Brian Bates]

Try to be nice.

[Aaron Weber]

Kill them with kindness. They say.

[Brian Bates]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Aaron Weber]

Me, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that true?

[Aaron Weber]

I. I don't know if it's. It's actually true, but I think the metaphors.

[Dusty Slay]

More. More flies will come around with honey.

[Aaron Weber]

But I think honey's pretty sticky. Yeah, you're gonna get caught in there. And vinegar is not sticky, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So you can get vinegar and get out of there. But honey.

[Dusty Slay]

But vinegar probably kills them.

[Aaron Weber]

That's true. But enough honey will kill you too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. How much?

[Aaron Weber]

I'm gonna find out.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Well, did you guys have a good weekend? I'll go first.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, go ahead. I want to hear about it.

[Brian Bates]

I had some hot shows this weekend.

[Dusty Slay]

Hot shows. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Friday night, I was in Decatur, Alabama.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, Decatur.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. First Baptist Church, Decatur My sister met her.

[Dusty Slay]

My sister sister met her husband in Decatur.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, at First Baptist Church.

[Aaron Weber]

No, just walking around now at a hotel. Okay, well, was she working at the hotel?

[Dusty Slay]

My family was there staying and my brother in law was visiting and they

[Aaron Weber]

met at the hotel.

[Brian Bates]

What's going on with your hat, by the way?

[Dusty Slay]

What do you mean?

[Brian Bates]

Oh, okay. It was just a little high, I guess.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

It seemed like a. I thought you were trying to be funny. Like a.

[Aaron Weber]

No, it was out of the shop probably.

[Dusty Slay]

That's how I like a hat. The higher the better.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. All right.

[Dusty Slay]

I like my hats like Willie Nelson out here. You know what I mean?

[Aaron Weber]

Closer to God, right?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

How many modern day couples met at hotels? I mean, that feels like. I mean, it is from a different era.

[Dusty Slay]

They met. Feels so old and would write each other letters.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, man, that's. Was he in war, at war somewhere?

[Dusty Slay]

No, at war. He was living in Michigan.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, so close.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe at a war, trying to get down to the South.

[Brian Bates]

But wait, they met at hotel. How did they meet?

[Dusty Slay]

Just, you know, he was visiting.

[Aaron Weber]

He's vacationing in Decatur.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's how your dad and stepmom met, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's true.

[Aaron Weber]

Hotels have been big.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Panama City Beach Hotel. Hotel, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Old country came to town.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You know that song, Mark Chestnut?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Anyway, I was at First Baptist Church, Decatur. You know, Decatur's where they. Alabama white sauce started.

[Aaron Weber]

Really? Supposedly white sauce big.

[Brian Bates]

Don Gibson's barbecue place.

[Aaron Weber]

Don Gibson down there.

[Brian Bates]

Or Bob Gibson.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, what about your show, though?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, show was great. Show was great. Was a marriage conference. So I listened to a marriage counselor give some people some marriage advice. And then I got up there.

[Aaron Weber]

Was your wife there with you?

[Brian Bates]

Debunked everything he said.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

I got up there and talked about my wife for an hour. No, my wife was not with me. It's just a quick drive down, drive back.

[Dusty Slay]

But easier to drive.

[Brian Bates]

That's right. Yeah, I had a great time. And then Saturday I was in Sykeston, Missouri, the big show for the Christian Academy there.

[Aaron Weber]

How was the pasta?

[Brian Bates]

Pasta was delicious. They made me to go order after that. I ate after the show and it was great.

[Dusty Slay]

They wouldn't even let you eat there.

[Brian Bates]

They're like, get out of here.

[Dusty Slay]

How was the show?

[Brian Bates]

The show was the show.

[Aaron Weber]

Every time. Every time I do an event like that, they go, we have a dinner. Do you want a dinner? I go, don't even worry about. I'll just show up for the show. And I always regret it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I always like to take the

[Aaron Weber]

dinner out of there with me.

[Dusty Slay]

Take the dinner.

[Brian Bates]

You mean to act like to go

[Aaron Weber]

box is the move. Yes, but I don't want. I never want to get there early and eat dinner with everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

And then you never eat with everybody. They always suggest that, but I'm like, I don't know who these comedians are that can just have dinner with the people.

[Aaron Weber]

Court at the table with the people

[Dusty Slay]

they're about to perform for. I don't want them going, why is he so quiet?

[Aaron Weber]

I feel like if you. If I have dinner with them before, they would cancel the show.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

They'd be like, this is. Nah, I think we're good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I've done it plenty of times where they just.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a mistake.

[Brian Bates]

Insist that I sit with them and. But this. In this case, the hotel was right next to the event center, which was perfect. Like, just walk back and forth. It was Drury Hotel. The Drury Hotel left me a gift bag. They said they heard us mention them on the podcast.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that real?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And we talked about how Sykeston had the first Drury Hotel.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And I got my room, and there was a gift bag from Drury Hotel.

[Aaron Weber]

That's amazing.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. Okay. Well, I'm pretty sure I brought up Drury two time. The one that brought it up.

[Brian Bates]

You said it. Negative stuff about that.

[Aaron Weber]

You called it. You said it sounds like dreary.

[Dusty Slay]

I said the name sounds dreary. But the hotels are great.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think you said that.

[Dusty Slay]

My mom used to say at the dreries all the time, and I liked them.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I think you did say that.

[Dusty Slay]

That's ridiculous. I'm a Marriott guy, anyway.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Hilton guy. Hilton Reach out. I'm gonna make something happen.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm a Marriott guy. I'm. I'm Marriott Platinum Elite. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

So anyway.

[Aaron Weber]

Hilton Silver. Yeah. Throwing that out there. You got to stay 200 nights a year to get gold or whatever.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And I'm not doing that.

[Brian Bates]

I had a great time. Some folks came out to the show.

[Aaron Weber]

Awesome.

[Brian Bates]

And it was great to meet them. What about you guys?

[Aaron Weber]

I was off this weekend.

[Dusty Slay]

I was also off this weekend. Could have been working. Could have been off.

[Aaron Weber]

It could have been working for sure.

[Brian Bates]

Should have went down to McMinnville and ate at that brewery down.

[Dusty Slay]

I did go to McMinnville and I did go to a brewery, I think.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, okay.

[Dusty Slay]

What was the brewery called?

[Brian Bates]

Fork. Grand Fork.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I don't. I guess I didn't go to that one.

[Brian Bates]

No, I got it wrong. It's something. Somebody emailed the podcast saying, oh, okay, okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Because I was like, that's weird. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I was like.

[Dusty Slay]

I did go, yeah, what was it called? Yeah, went. The guy that's supposed to be cutting my grass there that never cuts it, recommended it to me. He's very. He's very nice guy. He did cut it one time, but he's always like, I'm gonna get to it this week.

[Brian Bates]

Well, his uncle died.

[Dusty Slay]

No, not that guy. Not that guy. Baron Fork bruise is what it's called.

[Aaron Weber]

Baron Fork.

[Dusty Slay]

It was good. Yeah, we liked it. But, you know, I'll tell you this. They had all this stuff that supposedly had all this stuff for kids to play with, you know, So I took my kids. They had a little. Nice little area that had cornhole and like a big Connect four thing, and then, I don't know, some other stuff. But they were like, I had to give them my ID to get the bags for the cornhole because they said people kept stealing the.

[Aaron Weber]

Stealing the bags.

[Dusty Slay]

The bags. And they said all the Connect4 pieces have been stolen. I go, what are people doing around here with this stuff? I had to give them my id. I go, I just want one beanbag so my daughter can throw it. I'm not going to be responsible for six beanbags. What are you going to do, not give me my ID back?

[Aaron Weber]

If you want to play pool, you need a co signer.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

But the food was good.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And they were, you know, they were nice. They were pretty friendly, and that's about all you can ask for these days. And a restaurant is pretty friendly, but there was a couple people came up. To me, they were very nice, but pretty friendly is about all you can ask for.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's great. As long as they're not openly annoyed that you're there. That's a real win.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

If the food's good and you're pretty friendly.

[Brian Bates]

Well, let me share some Nateland news with you guys.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Last week, Will Wright premiered his showcase set on the Nateland Presents Season four. This Thursday, we've got Johnny Beaner.

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

Johnny used to live for a short time. Lived here in Nashville. Oh, yeah, Years ago. Very funny.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, dude, he's very funny.

[Dusty Slay]

Baseball player.

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Sounds like a baseball player.

[Aaron Weber]

It does sound like a great baseball name.

[Brian Bates]

Sounds like a pitcher.

[Aaron Weber]

That was a great comedy name, though, too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Johnny Beamer.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, you being somebody in the head,

[Aaron Weber]

I think you beam them with an M, B, E, A M. I feel

[Dusty Slay]

like I've always said bean, too. I don't know that I'm right, but I feel like I've always said that.

[Brian Bates]

That's so funny.

[Aaron Weber]

Called a hit by pitch.

[Dusty Slay]

I've also always said wheelbarrow and it's wheelbarrow.

[Aaron Weber]

How about that? In the context of baseball, the correct term is beaned. B, E, A, N. Yeah. Using beamed is incorrect.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You were thinking about with a laser.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I guess so. Well, the way I throw,

[Brian Bates]

I'm glad we got the bottom of that because

[Aaron Weber]

it came out your way. That's why you're happy we got to the bottom of it.

[Brian Bates]

Well, yeah, because you always correct me on saying things.

[Aaron Weber]

I correct you with an open mind.

[Brian Bates]

You know what I mean?

[Aaron Weber]

I go, hey, I'm happy to be wrong, but I think for the sake of our listeners, let's get to the bottom of it.

[Brian Bates]

Nate Lamp. That is true. Well, that is true. Nate Lamp presents Graham Case, Pete and Me. April is National Autism Acceptance Month and Graham's joining us next week to talk about his special. It is great. So I look forward to seeing. Graham's so funny. And he is funny. He's known your wife longer than you have.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, well, they lived in the same city. I mean, there's no need to say it like that, but they were on the same comedy scene in Toronto.

[Brian Bates]

Might be some things you don't know. We're going to get to the bottom.

[Aaron Weber]

Next week's episode topic is Anna on

[Brian Bates]

the next and Dusty's book. We're having a good Time is on pre order. Grab a copy anywhere you buy your books.

[Dusty Slay]

It's back there. It's actually been laid down. It's tired.

[Aaron Weber]

It's tired right in front of Nick.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I used to have that old crusty wallet. Now that I have Ridge, I feel sad when I see them out in public. I know their back hurts carrying that thing around. When I switched to Ridge, everything was just easier and no more weird back pain. Ridge is unique, slim. Look how cool my wallet looks. It may look small, but it holds up to 12 cards plus cash.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Bates]

They have over 50 colors and styles to choose from. Adrian, our producer, got the leather look. Aaron, did you know that they even have a MLB selection?

[Aaron Weber]

No. That's cool.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, you could get a get a Braves version. Losing your wallet is the worst. Blue Ridge tracker card makes that problem go away. You always know exactly where it is. Ridge isn't just Wallace. They create premium everyday carry essentials like power banks, key cases, suitcases and rings, all built with the same sleek, durable design. No Matter what you pick, Ridge has free shipping plus a 99 day free trial and a lifetime warranty on all their products. So for a limited time, our listeners get 10% off at Ridge by using Code Nateland at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use code Nateland and you're all set. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. You want to read a few of these comments?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Let's get into it. I got Kathleen coming in a few minutes.

[Brian Bates]

Madison Jones. Been waiting since the first first state episode from Mississippi and it didn't disappoint. Well, thank you, Madison.

[Aaron Weber]

I love that. But you probably knew it'd be a while before we got to Mississippi.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean you thought it might be 50.

[Aaron Weber]

It's not going. New York, California, Mississippi.

[Brian Bates]

But in fairness, that's not how we do it.

[Aaron Weber]

I know, but Mississippi, you gotta think they know. They know what it is. That was what I liked about a real like self awareness and like embracing and kind of leaning into what people think about the state but also being proud of it.

[Brian Bates]

Landon.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, totally.

[Aaron Weber]

I really like that.

[Dusty Slay]

It's nothing worse than people trash in their own home state.

[Brian Bates]

Yep, I agree. Aubrey Minick. That's right.

[Aaron Weber]

Meenik Minak.

[Brian Bates]

Excited to hear Dusty's joke about Jack and Diane. I've always felt so uncomfortable about how they eat chili dogs.

[Dusty Slay]

Me too. Me too. It's a weird way to say it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you, Aubrey.

[Aaron Weber]

How long is that bit now? About 30.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I've not been able to do a lot of stage time but I kind of wonder if the corporate event in McKinnon, Texas on Thursday is going to get going to get that. I don't know. I may save it for Dallas and Houston, but. But I don't know. Corporate event, it feels like the place.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They say they don't want it to be edgy, but I feel like sometimes you want a little something at a corporate event.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Stip your toe in the water and see if they respond.

[Dusty Slay]

Jack and Diane's a filthy song if you really listen to the lyrics. I mean there's 16. Hold on to 16 long as you can. I mean, take it easy guys.

[Brian Bates]

Well, some changes are coming around real soon.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They're going to make women and men. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Riley Patterson. Aaron, you could not be more wrong about country roads. He says almost heaven. West Virginia. He did not say western Virginia. Love the show but I couldn't let this go Also, the moon landing was fake.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Aaron Weber]

I think he said everything he needed to say in that.

[Dusty Slay]

Come on. Riley is right. You think Riley's a guy?

[Aaron Weber]

The way he spelled it. I bet it's a woman.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's what I was saying.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. R, I, L, E, I, G, H. You said.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought you said he, though.

[Aaron Weber]

But I might have.

[Dusty Slay]

But yeah, totally.

[Brian Bates]

I googled this and it appears you're correct. According to Google, the writers, the song, it was not about West Virginia. It was about Western Virginia.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, but my point was, Riley, I. Is that it doesn't matter anymore because it's been so embraced by the state of West Virginia. They sing it at all the games. It's like. However, the original intention, whatever the original intention of the song was, it doesn't matter. It's West Virginia's song. I'm thinking about West Virginia.

[Dusty Slay]

All that matters, Riley, is that the moon landing was fake. Yeah, I mean, that's what matters. Somebody sent me this. I'm just gonna tell you, just.

[Brian Bates]

We don't have a lot of time.

[Dusty Slay]

Just be. It'll be real quick. Okay, but this is what they said, that according to Google A. It says. Google AI says that our government has spent $200 billion on NASA in the last 10 years. So all I'm saying. $200 billion.

[Aaron Weber]

20 billion a year.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Get.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, get me a good picture. That's all I want. A good picture with some stars in the background. Find me a camera that can make it happen. That's all I want.

[Brian Bates]

I. I never look at the names when I'm picking comments.

[Dusty Slay]

That's all I want.

[Brian Bates]

And I'm going through the comments and there was one that said, with all we're paying in taxes, you think we would have enough money for NASA to get a better camera? And I'm like, I'm going to put this in so we can lay into this idiot. And then I looked at the name that was Dusty Slay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. I mean, put it in.

[Aaron Weber]

That shouldn't stop you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, put it in after it. Put it in.

[Aaron Weber]

We don't have time today, unfortunately, but yeah, we'll move on.

[Brian Bates]

Connor Metzger. I like how the camera cut to a single shot on Brian just to show him cough. I think the crew is trying to give us subliminal cues that Brian would not be around much longer.

[Dusty Slay]

I like edits like that. I like edits like that.

[Brian Bates]

Tristan. Tristan just like Cheers.

[Dusty Slay]

We should do more of those.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, we'll get some shots.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, when my hat's up, you know?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, perfect timing. And a sarah. It's jarring to see Andy. What'd I say?

[Dusty Slay]

And I think Sara threw you. You go with a name like Sara. This can't be an Andy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

This needs to be an on to. On to sorrow. That's what I think happened.

[Brian Bates]

I got some new contacts that I put in this morning and I cannot see very well.

[Dusty Slay]

You put them in the wrong eyes.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Aaron Weber]

Do contacts have a left and a right?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, it's. Yeah. Based on your prescription.

[Aaron Weber]

Do they really?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, my left eyes got a more powerful prescription than mine.

[Aaron Weber]

Really? Yeah. That's interesting. So, yeah, when you have glasses, they're built that way. Like the left one is different.

[Dusty Slay]

Depends on your prescription.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

You ever having a contact roll back on your eyeball?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Devastating.

[Brian Bates]

Adisara. Is that right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It's jarring to see Dusty in a more modern hat. Looks good on him, but I don't think people realize how precisely curated his style is. He deserves more credit. For sure. It's a good look.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you, Andy. People don't get it. People don't get it. They give me a lot of. I appreciate people giving me hats, but they give me a lot of modern hats. I want hats that you feel like your grandfather threw away. That's what I want. Like your grandfather got a free hat with a box of chewing tobacco in 1980.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's the kind of hat I'm looking.

[Aaron Weber]

You want a hat hanging up at a gas station that kind of scares you a little bit.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Mission accomplished.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Dathan Raider. A mule is the offspring of a male donkey and female horse. The inverse of that is called a henny. There are other hybrid crosses. I skipped ahead of the.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, I thought you. Yeah, okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Because your contacts.

[Dusty Slay]

Because it was a. There was a Nathan. There was a Nathan. And I heard you say Dathan and it made me laugh. But this. That is this guy's name.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

The inverse of that is called a henny. There are other hybrid crosses within the equine. Equine.

[Dusty Slay]

Equine, I think.

[Brian Bates]

Equine.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Such as a zonkey. A cross between a male zebra and a female donkey, as well as a Z Donk, a cross between a male donkey and a female zebra. There's also such a thing as a Norse zorse. Excuse me. I'm really struggling today. A cross between a male zebra and a female horse.

[Aaron Weber]

Zadonk. Well, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That sounds like a song.

[Aaron Weber]

Performed by Trace Atkins, written by Jamie Johnson.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. All right, Dathan. Well, that's good information, but pretty scary that you know all this. I'd never heard this in my whole life.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe he's in the equine business.

[Aaron Weber]

Taythan's a tough name and yeah. Your whole. How many times a day do you think he has to go like Nathan with a D. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Every time.

[Aaron Weber]

Every time he says it, they go, excuse me, Dathan.

[Brian Bates]

What about Jason?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Matt Taylor. Joke.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Mike Mooney. The 999 challenge that are sold as a set at stadiums now are a smaller version of the actual challenge. The hot dogs are smaller and the beers are smaller. I believe I read it is less than two tall boys to fill up all nine cups. So it isn't a true 999 challenge.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. But I'm sure they charge you for the equivalent.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, it's 180 bucks.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So you. Could you do this?

[Aaron Weber]

I could do it. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Two tall.

[Aaron Weber]

No desire.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, two tall boys.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I think he means a real 999.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, no, I meant. I don't know. They didn't. He didn't specify if the hot dogs

[Aaron Weber]

are smaller, but hot dogs are smaller.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I guess specify like the proportion.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, are we talking pigs in a blanket here or what?

[Aaron Weber]

No, I think there's. Yeah, they're not foot long.

[Dusty Slay]

Nine pigs in a blanket and two tall boys. Yeah, I do that.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a Thursday snack right there.

[Brian Bates]

All right, you guys ready to get Kathleen?

[Aaron Weber]

Let's get her in here, huh? All right. Like nothing ever happened. We're right back. We have a very special guest, as we mentioned on the podcast today, longtime friend of all of us. Unbelievable stand up comedian, wonderful person. Excited to have her here. Kathleen. Mad again, everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

I've been pushing to have you on for a while. For whatever reason, these guys were hesitant.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'm always home on Mondays.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I have nothing to do. He's got free beer in there. I'm going to raid that.

[Dusty Slay]

This is the nicest intro that Aaron's ever given to anyone.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. What do you mean?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I see. I've seen some episodes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, seen it.

[Aaron Weber]

I love the idea that every week Brian's like, guys, can we please have Kathleen on this week? And we're like, thank you, Brian. I don't think she's.

[Brian Bates]

For a while.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think she's proven herself.

[Brian Bates]

I've been holding on to this comment for a while. Whenever you came on. We have a lot of bathroom Talk about public restrooms and whether there should be signs on the door and things like that. This woman, Margaret Dosina, wrote in.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, okay, go ahead.

[Brian Bates]

You're the one that.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I just don't know. The way you frame it.

[Aaron Weber]

You made it sound like that's the theme of the podcast.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I think it's a big part of it.

[Dusty Slay]

But you make it also seem like you go, whether there should be signs.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Signs? Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, do people not know where they're at? Guess one of those unmarked doors over there.

[Aaron Weber]

You're saying it's a frequent. It frequently comes up bathroom etiquette and things like that.

[Brian Bates]

I'd say 30 of the podcast.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Wow. Yeah. Dudes are weird about where they go to the bathroom.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Very weird.

[Dusty Slay]

Figures. Slash, public restrooms.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty wants a timer on the door where you got to get in and get out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Or you have to pay.

[Dusty Slay]

You can't be playing on your phone in there.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, is that what's bothering you? The plan on the phone?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know, if you go to the airport here in Nashville and you know, the men. We have several urinals and then only a few stalls, Right. And you go in and all the dudes are lined up at the stalls because, you know, you know what they all have to do.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

And guys are in there just, you know, checking emails and it's like, let's move it along.

[Kathleen Madigan]

All right, o'. Clock. And then it buzzes or what happens. You get buzzed off.

[Aaron Weber]

Maybe the door springs open.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You know, I just flew through. So Kansas City has upgraded its airport from the old tornado shelter slash bus station.

[Brian Bates]

It was.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's really wonderful. It's gorgeous. But of all the places, like, I. I would get this if it was in Seattle or Portland or somewhere like, quote, progressive Kansas City, who has tons of farmers. Like, all the farmer people fly out of there. A lot of people that are not experienced travels the bathroom is all gender. And so this farmer guy in overalls and, like, his John Deere hat is not an affectation. Like, he got that with the last tractor he bought. This is a real farm. And he's old. He's probably 75. And he walks up, we both were colliding. And he looks at the hall gender. He has no idea what is going on. And he looked at me to see where I'm going to go. And then he's going to go the other way. Grandpa doesn't know. We're going to meet right here in three more seconds. Grandpa, we're just going around but there's twice as many stalls, so maybe that's the answer. All gender for the men. If that's what you want. I don't want you guys in there. Not because I'm afraid. Because, honestly, it's gross.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Men are gross. Of course, nobody puts a seat down. These old men are just peeing anywhere. I mean, walls, floors. Like, what? So go to a proctologist. What is going on, Grandpa?

[Dusty Slay]

So everybody's going.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Women aren't like that.

[Dusty Slay]

The same bathroom at the Kansas City Airport?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes. And it's freaking everyone out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Nobody. It's confusion.

[Dusty Slay]

I've sat in a Home Depot bathroom. I know what's going on.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's gross.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. At least I feel like women will kind of. I mean, we can be pigs, too, but there's more of a running speed of what we're all doing here. Yeah. Yeah. And I just don't.

[Aaron Weber]

Is there a graphic? Like an illustration of a man and a woman in a wheelchair and, like, everything.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, that's the problem. It just is a graphic of a person without hands or feet. Just a ball is ahead. And then. No, there's no definition to what that is. And people over here was really. And then he sees me again in the middle. I'm like, yeah, it's gonna keep happening, people. I'll just pick a stall, go with.

[Dusty Slay]

Old men are now waiting to pee on the plane. That feels like what's going to happen?

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's gross, too.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, well, you don't want that.

[Brian Bates]

We got to go somewhere, guys.

[Aaron Weber]

Come on. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Don't ever walk around in your socks on a plane. Because if you go in the bathroom, all that stuff from the guy. Old men is on the floor.

[Aaron Weber]

Never thought about that. I'm pretty against taking your shoes off on the plane. In general.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, if it's a long flight, though, I mean, six hours.

[Dusty Slay]

I say take the socks off, too.

[Brian Bates]

Put your shoes back on before you go to the bathroom. How about that?

[Kathleen Madigan]

You're gonna get over. You're gonna stop. You're gonna get a pulmonary embolism. Telling you, I've seen this happen before. Deep vein thrombosis. Aaron, you're gon. Because you wouldn't take your shoes off. You got to let your ankles breathe. Everything.

[Dusty Slay]

It's true.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Well, I didn't know you guys were this obsessed with bathrooms. I probably have more bathroom stories.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's a good lead in, then. So this is from Margaret Doina.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

She says, for my embarrassing public figure story, Kathleen Madigan accidentally walked in on Me while I was using the restroom at a small comedy club in. In or near the Silver Lake, California area in 20, 2015, 2016. I didn't lock the door quite right, so it was my bad. She was workshopping material for a new album. It has anything to do with it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So anyway, do you recall this at all?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I do not. It was probably. If you're gonna say Silver Lake, probably the Ice House, which is Pasadena, but there's no other clubs over there. And I don't know that I would be practicing.

[Dusty Slay]

Probably countless incidents since then.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. I mean, you want to go back that far? 2015. I mean, I've walked on in on so many other since then. But that's nice. She recognized me.

[Aaron Weber]

What a relief this is for her. She's probably been worried about this for a while.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And then you're like, I don't. I don't remember it at all. And it's a good lesson, I think a lot of, like, the most embarrassing things in my life, like the other. Nobody else remembers them except. Except me. Right. It's just.

[Brian Bates]

No, I remember.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Well, what. It depends on what they were. I bet other people know.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But if it's something as simple as that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And also depends on what was going on in the bathroom. If you're just sitting there, that's not that embarrassing. It's like, oh, sorry. But if you're. You got a whole flame going. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like. That's. That's memorable.

[Brian Bates]

I was at the Nashville airport, and the lock on the door didn't work, so it would just gradually as you open up slowly. So every 30 seconds, I've just got to get up and pull it back together.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You know who's got the bathrooms down is BUC EE's.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Because especially for the women, green light, red light, the lights. And I took a video of it, and I was severely reprimanded on. On social media because you're not supposed to take videos in bathrooms. I'm like, look, I'm not taking a video of anyone going to the bathroom. I'm showing you the future. Let's learn from it.

[Aaron Weber]

I know nothing about this. There's. I don't think this is in the men's restroom.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No. So. Of somebody online. Social media. Because I posted the video. No. I don't know. I've had men tell me it is in the men's. You're probably.

[Dusty Slay]

I think it is.

[Kathleen Madigan]

So above each saw, there's a green light or a red light. And if it's open, it's green. Because, like, I don't understand, like in the Delta Lounge, why does the door in the women's go all the way to the bottom? I can't look for feet now. You just blocked me from looking for feet.

[Dusty Slay]

Aaron's too busy trying to get a song queued up for his time in the stall.

[Aaron Weber]

I like to play.

[Brian Bates]

He has a specific song. He plays.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, how you, you have like a walk on song for the bathroom. Like a baseball player. That's, that's.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, it's an epidemic. Well, the reason I think I've never seen that at a buc ee's bathroom is they're so efficient. This has never been an issue for me. Like, there's, there's no. I've never seen a line in there. Nope. There seems to be just a full time guy cleaning it who's just always in there. So it's great. But I, I think there's an epidemic of quiet bathrooms all over the world where you're like, somebody get some music or something going in here. Let's get some. No white noise machine.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So I always. Brother, he doesn't like it either.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh my God. He'll. He'll go like 17 floors away on a hotel. Found a good bathroom. What are you talking about, Pat? We're in the lobby. There's one. Ah, too crowded, too crowded. I'm like, I don't know what you're doing, but it's weird that I feel like dudes are more fast.

[Aaron Weber]

You gotta have the right situation. Yeah, yeah, you gotta have a good situation. So I play horse with no Name by America. Oh, it just kind of splits. I think generationally it's gonna appease everybody, you know, rather than.

[Dusty Slay]

We're trying to get that trend going. That way we could recognize who listens to the podcast. We walk into a restaurant, hear it, we go, ah, podcast listener. And then I'll go, hello, folks. And they'll go, is that Brian Bates?

[Brian Bates]

Well, you used to. It's your day job. Used to hang out in the men's restroom.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, that's how you kill time on the clock, for sure.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. That's where most of you.

[Brian Bates]

I bet you heard some wild stuff in there.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, a Home Depot or Lowe's bathroom is. I don't know what people eat that go in there. I mean, it is pretty insane.

[Aaron Weber]

I know exactly what they eat. It's the guys that go into the gas station at 7am and get three roller dogs and. Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I'VE been in there, you know, pretty hungover and I'm just killing time. And then a guy will come in there and I go, I go, I got to get back to work.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The women's is bad at Lowe's because it's old people. A lot of old ladies. And yeah, they. I mean, it could be days before they come out. Yeah. I don't even. And I don't even think they have a phone. I don't know what they're thinking about. I don't know what they're doing. But it could go on for. Because twice I've almost went into the work room to ask if I could use theirs because I. I can tell by their shoes and their. These are old people and something's gone wrong. They shouldn't have left the house.

[Dusty Slay]

And real thick soles.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Or maybe they took something to go to the bathroom.

[Dusty Slay]

And it's all kicking in now, crocheting in there. Great ball of yarn rolling across the floor.

[Kathleen Madigan]

All of a sudden her cat comes out of her purse.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, it's interesting you're talking about the airline stuff in the airports because I think one of. At least to me, one of your more well known bits from recent history is talking about the. The Malaysian Air airplane.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Crash. Which I think it's fair to say you. You became obsessed with it and still am. Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I care more than the families. Serious. And I'm not accepting settlements in case anybody's wondering if you should offer me something.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, you don't.

[Aaron Weber]

Off.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Don't take that money.

[Aaron Weber]

So what's, what's, what's going on? I haven't heard about this in years. But there's still. People are still litigating it.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They're. Well, no, most of them sadly took this out. My dad was a lawyer. He don't ever accept insurance people's money. It's blood money. But they're poor. Yeah, a lot of them are super poor. So here's 50 grand. Sounds like 20 million. And I get it. But they shouldn't have done that. Right now there's a company, I think it's called Oceania. Oceania. And they're going to spend 70 million to go look for it. If they find it, that money will be repaid. But if they don't, they're just out 70 million. But this guy thinks he's really nailed it. The problem is it's most likely in the Indian Ocean, which is. I did not know till this flight crashed how crazy the Indian Ocean is.

[Aaron Weber]

What's crazy?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Raw, rogue waves, 40ft tall, tankers that just go missing. It's insane. And it's so deep and the currents are so insane that even if you knew where the plane crashed, it could be 500 miles away from here now.

[Aaron Weber]

So they accept now that it crashed in the ocean?

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, no, nobody accepts anything. Okay. No. If you talk to my brother, I think it's like Lost, man. I think they're like drinking margaritas.

[Dusty Slay]

I think it's still flying around.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, he thinks they're on an island. They made up new names for themselves, like the show Lost.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, like the show Lost and.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, no, there's.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe the show was a documentary about Malaysian Airlines before it happened.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, yeah. Because we're living in that age now.

[Brian Bates]

Who will pay them 70 million if they find it?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, that was my question. And the, the. Apparently the Malaysian government, but I don't believe that. Yeah, I don't think they're going to give.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm interested in the Indian Ocean. I want to look into it is crazy.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Like, you couldn't pay me to ever get on. Well, why would I? But I. Not a cargo ship, lady. But those boats, I mean. No, no, it's. It's. It's insane. If you start.

[Dusty Slay]

I've seen these videos where I didn't know what ocean it was, but like.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, it's that usually. Yeah, so. No, no one. That guy totally took the plane down, in my opinion. He had simulators at home. He already. He did all the flight patterns and crashed it on the simulators.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, so they found this all out later.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, well, not that much later. Six months later. And we're like, oh, okay. But they don't want to admit, I

[Dusty Slay]

think this is footage from the Nateland Cruise.

[Aaron Weber]

It felt like that for a while.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I mean, there's just not enough Dramamine in the world to cover that kind of seasickness. Look at those waves. Yeah, it's crazy. So I. I don't know, is Malaysian

[Aaron Weber]

Airlines still going, like, did it?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, yeah. The next day I went online to see. I'm like, I wonder if you can still fly on these guys. Oh, it's like Southwest. Hey, how about Singapore today? Yeah. I'm like, of course it's 89.

[Dusty Slay]

For a good deal, though, you'd probably still trust it. You're like, I don't know. It's a direct flight.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I just could not believe whatever year that was, 2015 or something, that a plane, an airplane could go missing. Like, I understand that statement about a ship in 1649.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't Know Queen Elizabeth. They were here and they're not. I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

Never showed up.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't know. No, they never showed on the other side neither. So I don't really know what to tell you, but I mean, like, I know back then people were texting from planes. I know that I wasn't because I have an Android and we're not capable. They don't let us do those things. But other people were. IPhone people were. So how did we not get any messages? How did we not. I think they killed them first with a lack of oxygen. They all went unconscious.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. And then they happened.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes. Yeah, I think because otherwise there would have been.

[Dusty Slay]

When you say they killed them first, I thought something more like walking through the plane with a gun.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, wow, that's so hands to hand. Violent. No, like they just turn off the oxygen.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

So much easier Dusty

[Aaron Weber]

go through and strangle everybody one by one.

[Brian Bates]

Has it. Some debris washed up.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh yeah. Well, there's a psycho. This like psycho pseudo scientist guy in a Hawaiian shirt that keeps. He keeps walking this one island and he claims he found wings and. But nobody seems to really believe him. But they did find a door that they thought might be from that and then they gave it to the French. I'm like, why are the French in charge of science? How about we give it to the Germans? Like somebody who has a history of smart like Einstein people.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And then they were like, I don't know, it could be. Well, how many other planes have gone missing that are missing doors? Yeah, can we get a count? Yeah, put that on the wall and eliminate who didn't crash and then go. Yeah, it's the door. So other than the door. Oh, you know, random.

[Dusty Slay]

They need you heading. Heading up this investigation.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, I think somebody needs a fine

[Dusty Slay]

little kick like a coach. You need a coach?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, yeah. Ye. Look, you're a motivator.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Here's your TED Talk. Let's get moving. Yeah. Come on, people. There's 230 people. It's just fine if we go missing. Like how many people do you hear get on a plane? They're like, I'm scared to fly because we might crash. Oh, way worse, lady. We could go missing. Yeah, that's worse because we probably will have already crashed.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never would have thought a plane could just disappear like that, not in

[Kathleen Madigan]

this day and age.

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Who was on the plane? Anybody?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, there's the theory, the conspiracy people that claim there were scientists and all this stuff and maybe there were a Couple scientists. But why? I mean, no, that. That theory's bad.

[Dusty Slay]

But why would it go missing, though?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Because that man killed them.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, the pilot?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He was just kind of like.

[Kathleen Madigan]

He was depressed. He was going through a divorce. He was angry. He's that right age where people go crazy, like, 40. You're never gonna see somebody my age. We're too close to retirement. I'm not tanking this whole thing now. Kidding. I've worked my whole life to get to this point. Last thing I'm doing is taking. I want all my pilots to be 58.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

All of them. I'm so happy because they're like, yeah, this is a few more years I'm out of here.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Young ones that are going through divorces and they're angry. They got some misery all the.

[Aaron Weber]

And they get to work and they go, I gotta do this another 20 years.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

least.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

So.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow, that's a good point.

[Dusty Slay]

So you think Malaysian Airlines is covering it up because they don't want to know that their pilot went crazy?

[Kathleen Madigan]

They'd have to take responsibility then. And then they'd have to pay all these people more than $4 or whatever they gave them to shut them up. They'd have to pay. You know, they'd be guilty of. So our accomplice at least aiding and abetting.

[Dusty Slay]

But I wonder why the other. I mean, it seems like the other airlines would kind of be invested in uncovering this to shut them down.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I think they're like JetBlue. Nobody takes them seriously. Or Spirit. Like, does Delta have time to worry about what Spirit's doing today?

[Aaron Weber]

That's a good point.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They do.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They don't even care. Whatever. We're not. I don't think Malaysia's like the Ryanair of over there. Like, our Spirit is to. Here is what they are to them. It's all these short little.

[Dusty Slay]

Is Malaysia China?

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, it's his own deal. I had to look that up.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

This is Malaysia.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's its own.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

It sounds like Malaysian Airlines to Malaysia is not the same as American Airlines is to America.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's right.

[Brian Bates]

It's.

[Kathleen Madigan]

There's.

[Aaron Weber]

It's like a frontier or something like that. On that level.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Like, if I was going to Bangkok, I'd pick Air China.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Over that.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But this is only from what I've learned after all this, I didn't even hear. I never even heard of this airline. And I loved how, like, on the news. It's the same with the Nancy Griffith thing. Day one. Oh, my God, we have a missing plane. Oh, my God. There's. It took Don Lemon an hour to. To get through it, and then by, like, I don't know, week three, they were like, yeah, still missing. Anyway, on to sports.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. They just move on. Not you.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I mean, I understand. Yeah, right. I don't move on. And my brother finally was like, I can't discuss this topic with you anymore, Kathleen. I am at work. Yeah. I'm gonna go find you a secret bathroom in St. Louis Airport.

[Dusty Slay]

Shut up, Pat.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Like, I'm doing you favors and you don't even know I'm out there working on your behalf looking for secret men's bathrooms and tornado. I found one in a tornado shelter. I'm like, oh, this is his dream bathroom. Yeah. Nobody's going.

[Dusty Slay]

Safety.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Tornado.

[Dusty Slay]

Even a tornado can't.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, you're fine.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Doesn't matter. I'm out here working on behalf of the people and. No, no. No one want. You're the first person that's asked me in years. Nobody wants to talk about it.

[Brian Bates]

Wasn't there a case very close to that same time where a depressed pilot did, like, crash a plane to a side of mountain?

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, it was.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It was Egypt Air not too long after that.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That was before that.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, before that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, Egypt Air was before that, and there might have been one after that. Okay. I was so busy on this one, I didn't keep up with new events.

[Dusty Slay]

So you don't really want to fly on an airplane named after a country.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, fly American Air.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Canada's fine.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Canada's nice.

[Dusty Slay]

They were rude to me one time, but they didn't. They didn't crash the plane. They were rude to me.

[Brian Bates]

It's all the same to Dusty.

[Aaron Weber]

Pretty low bar error.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Americans. Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they're okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They're just okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they're okay. It's.

[Aaron Weber]

The more specific you get, the better. Like, I think Alaska's great. You fly Alaska?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I have. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I. I've had good experiences.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I didn't like that they gave me a Bible quote with my lunch on my tray. Not that I'm anti Bible, but that makes me think we're dying.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I was like, oh, do we have.

[Dusty Slay]

Wait, I guess. Depends on what the verse is.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Heaven.

[Aaron Weber]

No Revelation. You're like, oh, how about just a

[Kathleen Madigan]

quote from Mark Twain or something? Cats are great. You know, Hemingway, don't let my cats die. Something not so.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, well, I was thinking about it because I feel like with everything that happened with the flights last year, I. Look up the stats about airline crashes a lot. So last year, there were 39 million flights around the world. 51 accidents out of 39 million flights.

[Dusty Slay]

Where were those accidents? What countries were those?

[Aaron Weber]

Mostly other countries. Yeah, but remember, we had the big one in D.C. with the helicopter crash, but that's one accident for every 759,000 flights.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. So, I mean, that's still the safest

[Aaron Weber]

way to travel in human history, but.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But I think a horse.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'd feel safer on my horse.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Would you feel safer on a horse?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes. I want to go back to that.

[Dusty Slay]

Me too.

[Kathleen Madigan]

All of it.

[Dusty Slay]

I was talking about that. The other.

[Kathleen Madigan]

All of it except the women's rights part. I'm going to need a few more rights if we're flying back to 1830.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. I need to be able to own stuff and, like, you can't boss me around when you feel like.

[Dusty Slay]

Right, yeah, right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But other than that, I'm all about the simplistic thing. I was born and raised in Missouri. Never left. Great.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, if we rode horses, you. All the communities would be closer together. But you see, you could still travel as a comic. You just, you know, you go. You know, instead of going all the way across the country, you just go

[Kathleen Madigan]

to the next town and you don't have a headshot. You take an oil painting of yourself. Yeah, yeah. Who's here?

[Brian Bates]

This.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Just like back in the old, old, old days.

[Dusty Slay]

They're like, he looks so serious, and you're like, well, he couldn't hold the pose. He couldn't hold the smile that long.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I think a horse is safer. Aaron, you know what they don't talk about on here? And this is my argument against the rich, fancy friends that I do have. I don't like private flying. And I'm like, let's go through the entertainers. Slash athletes we know have died flying privately.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And now let's go through after that list, which is like 20 deep, of Patsy Cline, Payne Stewart, you know, Jim

[Aaron Weber]

Croce, Roberto Clemente, the Big Bopper, Leonard Skynyrd.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I watched that whole thing. Now let's go through the amount of celebrities that have died on Delta. Icshnay. Yeah. How about Southwest? Nae nae. None.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I just don't. I think the risk. And then people get used to it all. The Lakers. Well, I fly my helicopter to Lakers games. Are you crazy? You're landing on top of a roof in a helicopter.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

I think pretty famous Laker I get life in a helicopter.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. I mean, I've done it. And I'm like, yeah, this is pretty cool. You just go up. No tsa. I've gone with other people, but I'm like, especially. I really didn't trust it when I went with Ron White because his was called Tater Air, and he had painted gold shark teeth on the bottom. And I go, what's up? And then on the T, there was a pirate ship on a rough ocean. I'm like, this theme doesn't even work for me. Ron, what's with the gold teeth? He goes, I want to fly into Santa Barbara and park next to Oprah and have her think my plane's eating her plane. That was really what he intended. And it was painted like we were in some Vegas casino in the 50s. Tater Air and all gold LeMay.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm thinking the teeth like a World War II fighter jet.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, gold teeth. Is this plane built? He's like, I don't know. I like the 60s. It's an Israeli. I go, okay, well, I wouldn't get in a car built in 1962 and drive it across America. And you want me to get in this plane, this rickety. I fly everywhere. I'm like, yeah, I. I know, but I just. I don't know. I just don't feel confident.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And I'm not afraid to fly. I just think, why would you increase the odds? Then we started talking about that list of dead people in private places. It. Mostly musicians.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I mean, a ton.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I forgot about Roberto Clemente. Yeah. Payne Stewart on a ghost ship.

[Dusty Slay]

I just learned about Roberta Clemente.

[Aaron Weber]

You know who that is?

[Dusty Slay]

Who it is that she died in a plane crash? All of that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It was Roberta Flack. She's like, she didn't die in a plane.

[Brian Bates]

Roberto Clemente is a man.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Really good songs, I bet.

[Dusty Slay]

I know some songs, and I bet I like the song, but I'm. You know, I'm learning a lot here.

[Brian Bates]

Well, John Denver, that's a totally different character because he was flying himself well.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And he ran out of gas. And, you know, you're an American legend. Could you check the fuel? I mean, I was so angry with John for a long time. I don't even know the man, but I loved him. And I'm like, why did you. The gas thing didn't flip over, Right?

[Brian Bates]

Francis Gary Powers. You could see that coming.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I think he worked for gas.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, yeah. John F. Kennedy. I just Watched all that. Glenn Miller. I didn't even know that. The orchestra leader.

[Aaron Weber]

Otis Redding, too. Yeah, man.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Right. And this would be my question to these people with what you were gonna go do. Was it that important that you couldn't have waited till the morning to take a delta?

[Dusty Slay]

Stevie Ray Vaughan, Ricky Nelson.

[Aaron Weber]

I think Roberto Clemente was flying humanitarian stuff into.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, he was a baseball.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm like, I bet. I know some of his songs.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I know. That's why we just kept going along with it. We all know that. You didn't know.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Heading there.

[Dusty Slay]

It's coming together now, though. Now that I see that, I go, oh, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Rocky Marciano. He was a boxer too young. And when my younger brother, he's, like, 11 years younger than me, got Mike Tyson's fight out for Nintendo, he didn't learn. And, I mean, I am 11 years older, but I'm not gonna let him win. And he was too dumb to realize that if you took Rocky Marciano every fight, you won every fight on Nintendo, he kept saying, why do you have confidence? And I'm like, in my mind. Because I'm picking up on an algorithm, Pat. But he's six. I'm like, no, you go ahead. Take Jake Tyson again, Pat. It's all gonna work out for you. Rocky. Come on. I didn't know he died in a private.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. 45 years old.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, yeah. I don't know. It's just not my thing. I mean, I would. And then you do it every week, and it's so convenient and.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You get used to it.

[Aaron Weber]

Stevie Ray Vaughan, too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Payne Stewart, that was. They all passed out.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. The whole thing froze. It was frozen. The windows were frozen. The plane was frozen, and then it just flew till it ran out of gas and landed in some way, like, field in Nebraska.

[Aaron Weber]

I think I always remember him. He would dress absurd, right?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. He wore the bloomers from, like, the 20s, and all that became his look.

[Aaron Weber]

And you remember him Dusty Paintstir. He would wear, like, what you think a guy in, like, the 1910s would wear.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And he's somebody from Missouri, so I had to own that. Yeah. There's our guy. The one looks like a striped clown from Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. He was a good golfer, though.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he was.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's how I picture everybody golfing, though.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's actually Roberto Clemente's band.

[Brian Bates]

War of Frames is a solid upgrade from the usual Mother's Day flowers. Once you become a parent, you realize how many times as a kid that you never fully Showed appreciation to your mom on Mother's Day. I would just send some flowers, which is nice and all, but. But they last what, three days and then she tosses them.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, about that.

[Brian Bates]

This Mother's Day, step up your game and gift something that lasts forever. With Aura Frames you can add a message before it even arrives. Plus you can preload some photos so she can have it already set up. You can add as many photos and videos as you want. It also comes packaged in premium gift box with no price tag. It was the top rated app and reached number one in the App Store on Christmas Day in 2025. How about that?

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

So make Mother's Day special with Aura Frames named number one by wirecutter. You can save one of the gifts moms love by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $25 off their best selling Carver mat frame with code Nate. That's a U R A frames.com promo code Nate. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Aaron Weber]

So I looked up a few other of these kind of. I guess I call them the opposite of a natural disaster. A man made disaster. Things like this tragedy that aren't tragedy. Yeah, but it's like some sort of operational failure that caused tragic disaster. The tra. A tragic.

[Brian Bates]

I like.

[Dusty Slay]

I like that term.

[Aaron Weber]

But the natural disasters are also tragic.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what I mean?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Yeah. A self imposed.

[Aaron Weber]

Self imposed man made. Yeah. So I looked at. I don't know. I've seen the footage before. Apparently it's famous among engineers. The Tacoma Narrows Bridge. In 1940 it was the third largest video unavailable. Cool. I'll find a different one here. We're on the Zany's network.

[Dusty Slay]

The wobble bridge in the world tries

[Aaron Weber]

to silence what we. We talk about some true stuff on here. They try to silence us.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I think Andrew's doing that. He's trying to keep you down on the farm?

[Dusty Slay]

I think so.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. He's gonna start going on the road. You know it.

[Aaron Weber]

So this is cool. Cause there's footage of it. This is 1940. It was the third largest suspension bridge. And it caught a 40 mile an hour wind at one point.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Whoa.

[Aaron Weber]

And that's what happened to it. I mean it looks like. Oh my God. It looks like it's an airhead.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, I don't see cars flying off stuff.

[Brian Bates]

I don't either.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, people evacuated. The only casualty on this was a dog. Somebody left their dog in their car.

[Brian Bates]

What's that made of that would steal.

[Aaron Weber]

It just wasn't. It just wasn't.

[Brian Bates]

It's crazy.

[Aaron Weber]

Engineers just didn't know how to. Yeah, there's one car and there's a dog left in that car. So that's the only. Only casualty there. But apparently like engineering classes and architects and stuff, this is like famous footage to them. Because this changed how bridges were built.

[Brian Bates]

Well, it seems like it's doing well. I mean it's.

[Aaron Weber]

It eventually collapsed, but that was only

[Kathleen Madigan]

a 40 mile an hour wind. And if. I mean exactly. F1 is 50 or is that a

[Dusty Slay]

guy walking on it?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, it is.

[Aaron Weber]

I think it's running and running away.

[Brian Bates]

It's like a music video. He's.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Put some Rolling stones behind this. That's a cool video.

[Aaron Weber]

I want to see it.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That was actually Brian running away from the fish concert.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So you can see. Yeah, it collapses in on itself right here. Wow. Yeah, it's pretty tough.

[Dusty Slay]

These guys seem pretty chill for just having experience.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No kidding. And it's still windy. Look at the tree. Yeah, I'd be running the rest of the way. That guy slowed down like. Oh, I'm glad I'm through that part. You still are on the bridge.

[Aaron Weber]

Now I have a family member who's. I don't know what the term for it, but she is terrified of bridges. And I remember we were driving. There used to be a big bridge. Do you remember going to like Dauphin island in Alabama?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

There's that big bridge right down there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's really long. And then once you get to a certain point, it goes way like it's. Yeah, it's like a nine mile bridge.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't like that. I couldn't. Wouldn't be able to keep my eyes open.

[Dusty Slay]

And then it goes. Yeah, it loops up.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. No, it's pretty wild.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

I remember having to pull over because this relative of mine was driving. She was. I can't do this bridge. We had to pull over and she.

[Dusty Slay]

And he threw her right off.

[Aaron Weber]

You're staying over.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Left her in the car like a dog. We all walked.

[Aaron Weber]

But bridges scare me way more than almost anything else because I. The whole time I'm driving, I'm thinking about if this. I don't know if I get in, not even if the bridge collapses, but if I get in a wreck up here or something and I go off the side.

[Kathleen Madigan]

What's the number one rule, young people?

[Aaron Weber]

What's that?

[Kathleen Madigan]

What are you supposed to do when you drive over a bridge?

[Aaron Weber]

Pray.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, if you're In a modern car.

[Aaron Weber]

Cruise control.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, roll your window down. At least that much.

[Aaron Weber]

Really?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Because when you go down, let's say you go off, worst case scenario, and then you start to sink. You want that water to come in slowly. And when the car is full, you open the door. And there won't be any pressure. And you can try to swim up. If you go down with your windows closed, every foot down, you're building more pressure. Okay, so then when you try to open your door and all your electric's gonna go out.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

So you can't get your windows down. You get. Well, then you'd have to buy one of those things they sell late at night on TV to go, oh, yeah, I know. I always want to buy it. And I'm usually drunk when I see it. So I'm like, I'll do it tomorrow.

[Dusty Slay]

That's why it's good to smoke while you drive, because your windows are always down.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, that's right. That's right. That would terrify me. I don't think I could drive. I can't drive on mountain passes that are too narrow or bridges like that either. I think the mountains scare me more.

[Dusty Slay]

Mountains are scarier than the bridge to me.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I went from somewhere in Colorado to Durango, but didn't understand that what was gonna happen. Me and the other comic. And then he started crying. And I'm the past. I'm like, no, no, no. I cry. That's the way this works. The chick cries. You don't cry. You drive and tell me it's all gonna be fine.

[Dusty Slay]

Why is he crying?

[Kathleen Madigan]

And there was a. Cause Gary doesn't like bridges. It got so tight. Just say his name, Kathleen. And then it started snowing, like, everything bad. And then you'd get down that one and think, oh, thank God we made it. And there's another one. It just kept going. And the stress was horrible. And mountain passes, bridges. No, it's. Apparently back in the day, they used to tell me Aretha Franklin just quit going on because there was this young guy who was without back, I think. And he was like, I'm so glad it's you, Kathleen. I'm like, why? Who'd you have? He go, aretha Franklin. And now there's so many rules because she's old and completely crazy. She can't do math, and we're not allowed to go near mountains. Will you try to get from Asheville to Nashville to Chicago without seeing a mountain? She don't want to see one. She wants to see one.

[Aaron Weber]

You got to go all the way down to Florida and take a left.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And I'm like, that's an awesome amount of power, though. I don't want to see any mountains. No. I will only see flat plains.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, you're saying if you were on a horse, this would all be way safer.

[Dusty Slay]

For sure.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The horse would know. Don't go. My stupid rental car with Jason driving didn't know. Don't go. We just kept going. There were signs too. And there's nowhere to turn around.

[Aaron Weber]

Have you done any self driving cars, Kathleen?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I won't get at them.

[Aaron Weber]

You won't do it. You know, there are waymos all around Nashville.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I just saw one coming here.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And they're always really hesitant when they turn. It's like an old person's driving it.

[Aaron Weber]

But wouldn't you rather him be that than.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No. I want them to be sponsored by Red Bull and I want them all to go 200 miles an hour car. Then I would be entertained. I'd be like, aha, here comes the Red Bull car.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, well, that's true. I'd like a waymo, though, because I can cut them off and I don't feel bad at all.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No. And they do sense like you can really screw with them. You can run them off the road. These people are emailing me. All this crazy stuff. The kids that you can. It senses you. And if you keep inching over, he'll keep inching over till he, she, whatever. That nobody. Until the bot.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Crashes on. Off the side of it. Not that I would want to go attack someone.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. There's still a person in the car. There's still a pass, a passenger.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, sometimes they're completely empty. But the passenger that I love to cut them off because you don't even have to wave. You don't have to do anything.

[Aaron Weber]

If you honk at a waymo, does. Does it respond to that?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

I wonder if it picks up that it's being honked at.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I. I doubt it. No, I don't think. Here's where I was like, okay, this knee. I will get in one maybe two years from now. But we got some kinks to work out. Yeah. A guy in West Hollywood got in one to go to lax. And they're not supposed to go on the highways. That was at least that was the rule back then. I don't know if they can at this point. But the thing, the thing wouldn't stop. It just kept going around in circles around lax. So he's missing his flight all of his dogs in the trunk. So even if you wanted to tuck and roll and jump out, your stuff is back there. Because he's lax. He's going wherever for a while and what are you gonna. Then he's, you know, I didn't know what to do. You're calling an 800 number in the Philippines.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Hi, it's me. Stuck on Sepulveda in a circle. They don't care. No one cares. Like, no.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe if you pop the hood and get. And pull the battery from inside. Yeah. Jump out. I. I think that would be fun.

[Aaron Weber]

A moving car.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Jump out of the hood. Jump on the bumper. Yeah. You're going around in circles pulling stuff out.

[Brian Bates]

Roberto Clemente.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Yeah. They're all over Phoenix.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Song.

[Brian Bates]

I did one in Phoenix.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Did you.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you like it?

[Brian Bates]

I did. By the end of the weekend, I'm like, I can't handle a personal Uber driver anymore. This guy talking to me.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You don't want to talk, right?

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

Now, would you trust one enough to be like, let's say you get out of a show and you're like, let's just drive home to Nashville and sleep in the car and just have it drive.

[Brian Bates]

You know how the show went. I've been on some shows like, I don't care, dude. Just do what you got to do.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Go off this bridge. I don't care.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Now there's also another one, Zoox Z O O X. And it's like a cube and there is no steering wheel. There's no nothing. The whole thing is programmed. That's it.

[Aaron Weber]

It looks like a thing, like a ski lift thing, like one of those.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, have you ever seen the little robots on college campuses that deliver the food?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's a giant one of those.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I feel like I'm a Chinese meal getting in that and I'm being delivered to someone.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I feel like food, like Chinese food.

[Dusty Slay]

It really is like a horse drawn carriage without the horse.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh. It's also kind of like a ride maybe at Six Flags or something where you. If you were on the antique track car at Six Flags it seems. But they're not on tracks and I'm in a weird cube and I don't. I feel like the door shut. Now can I, Can I get out? Yeah, I don't. I. I think we need.

[Aaron Weber]

It's an Amazon.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I need a few hundred people to die before I do this. Yeah, yeah. Like you guys die.

[Dusty Slay]

Work it out.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You work it out. Work it out. Yeah. I've Lived this long. I'm not.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you've worked your whole life.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'm too. I'm too old to be the first Marine that goes into the Zooks. Somebody that's in their 20s can do that.

[Aaron Weber]

Not available to the wider public yet. It's just Vegas employees and limited group.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Public launch in Vegas. They're everywhere in Vegas.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow. Amazon bought them for 1.2 billion.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yep.

[Aaron Weber]

Back in 2020.

[Brian Bates]

I don't mind bridges too much. I was driving home from Missouri this weekend and you go over the Mississippi river and then that was like. And then you make a little turn and then I'm like, oh, I'm going over it again. It's the Ohio River.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That would. Have you seen the old bridge on that Ohio river one?

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Terrifying.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The new one isn't a ton ton better, but that one. And I've been over it back in the day. Horrifying. Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, wait, where out in Ohio State?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, it's went from Kentucky to.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's where the Mississippi River. Ohio river kind of merged.

[Aaron Weber]

The John A. Roebling suspension bridge. This one right here?

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, that's in Covington. That goes. That's Cincinnati.

[Dusty Slay]

On the other side, the old Charleston Bridge going from like downtown to Mount Juliet or Mount Pleasant is that old brick. Now they have the, the big one now. That's really nice. But when I moved there, it was two. Two bridges. And one of them was a two lane. But it was like. And they said that used to go this way where it was like oncoming traffic. Like, you know, all right, two way traffic. And they said like big diesel trucks would go through and knock off your side mirror. That's how close you were together.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And if somebody's car breaks down, if you Google, try this, Aaron. Try Bridge over Ohio river by Paducah.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, Paducah, Kentucky.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Just somewhere by there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

There are two.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, I know that bridge.

[Aaron Weber]

You're talking about the Brent Spence Bridge.

[Dusty Slay]

This?

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, no, that's Covington.

[Aaron Weber]

George Rogers Clark Memorial Bridge.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That.

[Aaron Weber]

This old one?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. And that's the old one down there. This one's fine.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's the one, the old one that you're like, wow, what were people.

[Aaron Weber]

The purple.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That thing.

[Aaron Weber]

Bridge. Purple people.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That was probably a racist code. I feel that was racist. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You ever have that moment where you want coffee, but you also know it's going to ruin your whole day? That used to be me because I love the taste, the ritual, everything about coffee but one full cup. And then I'M like, I'm all over the place. I'm jittery, I'm anxious. My brain's going in 10 different directions. So I'm looking into alternatives, and here's one. Mud water. I've been trying their new low calf coffee blend. Honestly, it's the kind of sweet spot. It's made with organic coffee, functional mushrooms like lion's mane and cordyceps plus L theanine. Great stuff. And so you still get that rich coffee taste, but with way less caffeine. Only 45 milligrams. So instead of feeling wired and crashing later, you just feel focused, calm, dialed in. You can grab this stuff at Target and sprouts nationwide. We got a new sprouts on our part of town.

[Dusty Slay]

We love sprouts.

[Aaron Weber]

Making better mornings easier than ever. Ready to make the switch to a better ritual? Head to mudwater.com and grab your starter kit today. Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal. Up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use Code Nateland. That's right. Up to 43% off with code Nateland at M U D W T r dot com. After you purchase, they'll ask how you found them. Be honest, tell them we sent you, we sent you their way, and support our show. So another one of these we had talked about, because we had talked about a little bit was there's something new coming out about. Is it Chernobyl or Chernobyl? Chernobyl.

[Brian Bates]

Sure, sure.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'm positive.

[Aaron Weber]

What?

[Dusty Slay]

Listen, I. I know about the Robert Clemente thing now, but. But Chernobyl.

[Aaron Weber]

Chernobyl, like Cher.

[Dusty Slay]

I've always heard Cher.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Noble.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, well, that's another chair. You don't call her chair. Her name's Cher.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but everybody says Chernobyl.

[Aaron Weber]

But I think you say it fast enough, you can't really tell. Do you see that? Chernobyl.

[Dusty Slay]

You gotta blend the two together.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Is that even what the Russians call it?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, who knows?

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's like when they do their writing of their team name on their shirt and I'm like, no, you're supposed to be the Rangers. Why does it say that?

[Dusty Slay]

Right. Why is it some weird drawing?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Ccp, right? Cccp. Yeah. No idea. It's on every jersey. Chernobyl. That HBO thing was fantastic. And there's another one coming out, but there's something even better. This is insane to me. This is like the stuff I'm obsessed with. If you put in YouTube, Aaron, the babushkas, like Bub Bushkas of Chernobyl. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay. The Chernobyl babushkas.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It was on YouTube.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And it's a documentary of all these old ladies after the Chernobyl. Like. Well, Russian, like living with no money, no nothing. They. They're probably 65, but they look 100 because they've had a hard life. After the disaster, they went and got them all and took them to a very big city and put them in some high rise, nondescript, God awful building. And they had a little meeting and they're like, no. And they walked back and they live in it.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They live in the evacuation zone. Like with wolves. All the animals have come back tenfold. Now. There's stuff that wasn't even there. Like, it was there hundreds of years ago. Eurasian lynxes and crazy bears. And they all look like her. And they all have vodka, which I'm like, where are you getting vodka? That would have been my first question. There's no liquor store. I'm out. I'm out. They got. They all have vodka and some sort of giant pot with something boiling in it. See, what's that? What's that lady.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, look at her hand. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So they just live. They live in the ev. The evacuation zone.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No one's supposed to be. You're not technically allowed to live in it.

[Aaron Weber]

Are they. So they're like homesteading there essentially.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They went back to their old homes, if they still existed, and just move right back in. And there's a. There's a very young girl, a 20something, who brings mail to them, like, illegally.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'm like, okay, so you get your little government check. Where are you cashing that? I don't even know. Even at the end of the thing, I was like, I still have so many questions about how this lady got all this food. It doesn't look great, but it is food.

[Dusty Slay]

And the liquor, it looks like if you watch the whole thing, mushrooms.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They'll sit down and go, are we ready to drink? And it's just a whole bot. They're gonna drink that whole bottle right there straight.

[Dusty Slay]

She made strawberry wine.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. There's no vodka tonic. Y. Yeah, there's no tonic, but they can. Limes. There's nothing. Just potato vodka.

[Dusty Slay]

Vodka and radiation.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yep. Giant wolves. Dire wolves.

[Brian Bates]

Do you think they're raiding, like, other people's houses that had liquor?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'm sure that I already did that. Yeah, they probably did that the day they moved back. Ivan's not coming home, and they went over and took all his stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

But I Would.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'd see no reason not to.

[Aaron Weber]

Are they having kids or are they just gonna die?

[Kathleen Madigan]

They're all too. Too old.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. They didn't. They. Their husbands. Most of their husbands are. Died in the accident. Which is sad. Like they're. They're. And they were old then. And he dies and then. Yeah. There's nobody under 60 out in the area except the male lady.

[Dusty Slay]

This is like I am Legend without the zombies. Right? Just the end of the world for them essentially.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But it's really the beginning of the world for these. These people. Because they don't even care. That's what I love. And I wouldn't care. There gets to be an age where she's just plucking mushrooms out of the dirt. God only knows how much radiation's in that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

She don't care what she got left on earth. 20 years max. Eat what you want.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Just pot. Just piling through garbage. And radiated food. See, she's got a blanket. She don't have any teeth. Teeth are gone. She's been there forever. She doesn't get out of bed much. They come over and now I remember all this. I'm gonna have to rewatch it. I loved every minute.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. This scene is particularly sad.

[Aaron Weber]

Sorry about that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. But at least she's home in her bed with her cat. And she's not in some highrise in. They took him to like Moscow or somewhere. A big city you've heard of. Now that lady's a spring chicken compared to. Look at the food. Look at the wine.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Cornbread or something there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, look at that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Something you can eat with no tea.

[Dusty Slay]

I said my grandmother used to eat.

[Aaron Weber]

Now that's a good spread.

[Dusty Slay]

It is true though. Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a nice spread though.

[Dusty Slay]

I used to see. Oh, spread.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Look at the bread. Looks great. I would eat it.

[Brian Bates]

Do they grow their own food?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. They know how.

[Aaron Weber]

No idea that people were back there. I was reading about all the animals and how they've increased like 10 times what they were.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Because it's so much better without people.

[Aaron Weber]

They just accidentally created the world's largest nature reserve. Or there. So it's just all these animals running around.

[Dusty Slay]

Check this caption. Now he's gone. And I have everything.

[Kathleen Madigan]

She sure does. Yeah. Look how happy they are. They're having parties. There's clearly not a hair. Any kind of hair salon out there. Nobody's doing their hair anymore. But that's what I would feel if I didn't have to leave the house. Why Am I blow drying my hair? Who cares?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So they look like they're having.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's her. She's hammered. This was after they drank like a hundred bottles of vodka. She's just banging a. A sickle.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

On a floor like a post hole digger. They are living a life. It, it's. I don't understand why it didn't get more attention. I thought it was a great documentary. It's probably raining radiation right now. That's probably radiation fault. She's getting cancer on the umbrella. She don't even care. Good for you.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm.

[Brian Bates]

I don't even know about. Is this on Netflix or.

[Aaron Weber]

This is just a YouTube documentary here.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But it's like a for real documentary. It's not like some guy. And now the influencers are all trying to sneak into the evacuation zone.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

For their videos.

[Aaron Weber]

Because there's a lot of tourism to that area. Right?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. But it's. None of it's really legal. You're not supposed to be there. And I wouldn't mess with the Russians. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's fair. But I. I wonder if I would go. I would. I'm interested. I want to go see like this, the. The town. If I wear a hazmat suit and it's all above board, I would go do it.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The bears have moved into a lot of the houses.

[Aaron Weber]

They got those free shelter. Wild horses too.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yep.

[Aaron Weber]

The Chernobyl, the.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The Eurasian lynxes are like bigger than a Eurasian lynx should be in an awesome way. Kind of looks like a giant bobcat.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, it's really cool.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It just shows without us. Nature does great. We're the problem.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'm the problem.

[Aaron Weber]

As soon as we're out of the equation.

[Dusty Slay]

But like these women, the way they're living, they're okay too.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Right. It's like if you just live simple, you go with nature.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Right. And they're already old.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

So what do they care? Oh, hey, you have, you know, stage one cancer. Well, it's fine.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's going to take me out. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. There's a Siberian giant black bear in there. It's also hungry.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The mushrooms aren't doing it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I was looking at. Because I was just looking up some man made disasters. I had never heard of this. Have you heard of the London smog of 1952?

[Brian Bates]

Now we talked about.

[Dusty Slay]

Very specific.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, I don't know that I have.

[Aaron Weber]

Was it. It must have been years ago, right?

[Dusty Slay]

It.

[Brian Bates]

I don't remember when, but I vaguely remember us talking about this.

[Kathleen Madigan]

How about all the people that got killed by syrup.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, what.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh.

[Aaron Weber]

What happened there?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Maple syrup drowning. Put that in there, it'll come up. A town.

[Aaron Weber]

The great molasses flood.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Kathleen Madigan]

In Boston, a syrup deal.

[Aaron Weber]

A large storage tank filled with 2.3 million US gallons of molasses pushed through the streets at an estimated 35 miles per hour, killing. Killing 21 people and injuring 150.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Imagine you died by syrup.

[Dusty Slay]

A tsunami of molasses is so thick

[Kathleen Madigan]

you didn't even have a frozen waffle in your hand. Enjoy the last bit. Yeah, there's. That one is the. Probably the craziest.

[Aaron Weber]

What happened was. Okay. It was just a tank explodes.

[Dusty Slay]

Probably brought in a lot of insects.

[Aaron Weber]

And giant wave 50ft high, sweeps everything.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, man.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. 100 men, women and children caught in sticky stream building vehicles and structures crushed.

[Brian Bates]

When was this?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I want to say, like the 30s.

[Aaron Weber]

1919.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Okay, okay, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

1919. So the war, the great war had just ended.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You finally get home from the war, you're killed by a wave of syrup. Not the Nazis, the Germans. That.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Just a slow way to die. And then the insects just start coming around.

[Aaron Weber]

I'd never heard of this one. Imagine me just waist deep in molasses. Walking. Walking through the street.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I bought some thick molasses before. I don't even know if you'd be able to walk.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I was gonna say. I don't think I could. Especially if it's, well, coming at 35 miles an hour. I mean, there's 18 mile an hour winds outside today. And I had problems. Shut my door.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Ye.

[Brian Bates]

What's the difference between syrup and molasses?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Molasses, I believe is unrefined.

[Brian Bates]

What's.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, molasses is a thick, dark byproduct of refining sugar.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You got to refine it to make it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

So the molasses is like the stuff that would actually you start with.

[Aaron Weber]

And syrup is a lighter, sweeter and less viscous liquid made from plant SAP or corn starch. Okay. I. I'll be honest, kind of use them interchangeably in my life because I never really think.

[Dusty Slay]

You say that when you're having pancakes, you go, put a little molasses on.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Wow. I've never even seen it. Look how thick that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, I've never. I didn't know you could buy that. I thought that was just how syrup starts.

[Aaron Weber]

I go, waffle, I'll get a buttermilk waffle.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Molasses back there. I'm from 1919.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I got my Horse tied up outside by Dusty Kathleen.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, this is the world y' all want to go back to.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, yeah, I do. I do.

[Brian Bates]

Kathleen, we've been talking about the 999 challenge. You know this.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I do not.

[Brian Bates]

It's a baseball thing. I just learned about it last week. Nine innings, eat nine hot dogs and drink nine beers.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, I could drink nine beers, no problem. I don't.

[Aaron Weber]

Over the course of nine innings, no problem. You could have nine beers.

[Brian Bates]

Well, by the seventh inning stretch.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But I'm saying it's got to be a normal. Normal beer.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, like. Like a normal. Not a tall boy.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Right. I don't want the giant gallon they hand me at Nissan Stadium and go enjoy. That thing's gonna be so hot by the time I get to the bottom. I find it completely irritating.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They won't sell you a 12 ounce. That's my own beer complaints.

[Aaron Weber]

Let's say 12 ounce Michelob Ultra or something like that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes, I could do that, but I couldn't.

[Aaron Weber]

You couldn't do the nine hot dogs?

[Kathleen Madigan]

No. Well, I mean, I could.

[Dusty Slay]

I wouldn't want to do nine hot dogs in a week.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I. I wouldn't mind that. I love gas station.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And hot dogs and all that. Yeah. But like, everybody loves a Dodger dog. I don't want the long skinny one. I like the short, fat ones. Is that why they. I saw that underneath a picture of Trump today, 999. And I didn't know what that headline meant.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I don't know what that means.

[Kathleen Madigan]

If it meant this.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe he did the challenge, but this

[Aaron Weber]

was kind of an on a thing people were doing unofficially at games, you know, for social media and stuff. And just like, dudes would go there and let's try to do a 999 challenge. And then a lot of these. These parks are like, let's just sell a whole package that includes nine beers and nine hot dogs and you can just buy it all at once. And the problem with that is for trouble. Yeah, I agree. But then the problem with that is you buy nine beers and the first inning by. Those beers are flat warm by the end. Yeah. It's disgusting.

[Dusty Slay]

And you're on your ninth hot dog drinking a warm, flat beer.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Especially if it's the Mets and the inning has gone on eight hours.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I mean, you're really. Your beer is getting super duper.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Speaking of bad public restrooms, you're at a. A baseball stadium, man. Nine hot dogs and a hot beer.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They're doing something in St. The Cardinals are doing something. $29, all you can eat.

[Aaron Weber]

I saw that something.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And. And I'm like, is this what we're getting down to now? Because we. We're not good enough to get people to care. We got to give them, like, you know, is this a funny bone? It's basically a funny bone.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Coca Cola Unlimited.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But see, they don't do alcohol the car because you're gonna. You could get sued for that, that 999 thing. If you sponsor it, you could end up being in trouble for someone's dui.

[Aaron Weber]

Now, somebody wrote in and said that a lot of the. Those packages, they're like smaller. It's the equivalent of like three beers, but it's. It's nine beers in nine individuals.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Tiny beers.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. That's how. That's how they're getting around the liability. You're getting like a flight of it. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, I would actually prefer that little

[Dusty Slay]

sampler maybe if they gave me some different ones.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, I do that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. The St. Louis Cardinals. Coca Cola Unlimited. It's the ultimate way to experience Cardinals Baseball in 2026. For $29, your ticket to Big Mac land includes unlimited access to classic ballpark favorites and ice cold Coca Cola products all game long. No tab, no transactions. You can get Cokes, hot dogs, chicken tenders, bratwurst, nachos, french fries, popcorn, peanuts, kettle chips, and ice cream cups.

[Kathleen Madigan]

This one.

[Dusty Slay]

Fans may select up to 3 items per visit. Oh, oh.

[Aaron Weber]

And return as often as.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's probably a long line, though.

[Kathleen Madigan]

For me, it's like a kid. Kids.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. If you're taking a bunch of kids to a game, it makes sense.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Like family style. Like, I went to this Paula Dean family style over there by the mall, Opery Mills Mall. And you order all this stuff and they go. Yeah. When you. If you're done with something, you know, we'll bring it to you. We'll bring you more. We'll bring you. But the server's gone. They bring it to you the one time you can't. They. They clocked out, went home, of course, can't find them.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They already got a new job.

[Brian Bates]

Have you ever thrown out a first pitch or singing after the ball game?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes, I did both of those in. Well, I did it in St. Louis, and then I did it in Chicago for the Cubs, which was very difficult. As a Cardinal fan, I felt like I was crossing trader lines, but they weren't playing. If they were playing the Cardinals, it'd be so different. Yeah. Aaron was with me.

[Aaron Weber]

I was with you, it was so much fun.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's a lot of pressure because when you start walking out to that mound in real life, you realize how far away it is. And I was thinking, what did I agree to? This is the stupidest thing I've ever. And I see my name out there and. Which is shocking.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Because it's gigantic. And they're like, no, don't worry about the first. I'm like, oh, terrible. And St. Louis, I said, you guys should move. And they were like. I go, no, I'm not being fake. Humble.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't know where this is going, and it is a baseball, and I am going to throw it as hard as I can. So if I were you, Fred Bird and company. You need to go to the left or go to the right. But it's a lot of pressure. Like, I don't know that I.

[Dusty Slay]

How was your pitch?

[Kathleen Madigan]

It was good. Strike.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Batter had been a little person.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Okay. So, no.

[Brian Bates]

What did Aaron. Aaron do to help you?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, he was good moral support because he. He. He doesn't get riled up.

[Brian Bates]

He stood out there on the mound with you.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, no. But I got to go on the field, which was pretty. My first time at Wrigley, I was on the field with. With the person throwing the first pitch. But the night before, I remember in Madison, Wisconsin, we were practicing.

[Brian Bates]

Hold on. What's going on over here?

[Dusty Slay]

Just the way you said, wow.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Wrigley film.

[Brian Bates]

That's like, just because Roberto Clemente hasn't put out any female music tracks doesn't mean I can't enjoy Wrigley Field. That's incredible.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, it was. It was. And it was very sad because it was the most gorgeous day ever. A great day to sit in the sun and drink beer in Chicago. And we had a show that night. I'm like, yeah, there's always that show that gets in my way. That's why people going, you really going to retire? Oh, watch me. I'll film it for everyone.

[Aaron Weber]

You and Dusty are so alike in that way.

[Dusty Slay]

Let's retire together, ride horses.

[Kathleen Madigan]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

We'll take our horse to Chernobyl. We'll go to the extraction zone, evacuation zone, whatever it's called.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but what about Take Me out to the Ball Game?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Was that I sang that up in that thing? Yeah, they te. They got a lot of cues for you. It's very easy. Yeah. Because I was like, hey, I'm not really. I was in the shower, and I'm like, turns out I don't Know the words?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Like some. But I. I probably don't know the whole national anthem either. I mean, I. I don't sing at all, so I shouldn't be singing anything, but. Yeah. They ask it. That's part of it.

[Dusty Slay]

Take me out to the ball game. I don't want to do the whole Take me out to the park. They say cross. I'm saying, nice crowd. Some say park. I made some peanuts and Cracker Jacks I don't care if I ever get back for its root, root, root for the team if they don't win it's a shame for it's 1, 2, 3 strikes you're out at the old ball

[Kathleen Madigan]

game that was well done.

[Dusty Slay]

That was all right.

[Aaron Weber]

Way better than I thought it would be.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No teleprompter.

[Aaron Weber]

It was off to brutal start to that. We got most of the lyrics now.

[Brian Bates]

Sing the national anthem.

[Dusty Slay]

It up. Well, I. I feel like I could sing it, but it's a different. Like you can sing Take Me out to the Ball Game bad.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You can't.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I think a lot of people don't know the word perilous.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And it's in the anthem.

[Aaron Weber]

Perilous fight.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Because sometimes it sounds like flight.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Perilous flight. Yeah. It's one of those. Once it gets going, it's a lot of like the. It's you. Like the Catholic prayers you learn growing up. Once you get in the groove of

[Kathleen Madigan]

it, you can get it back.

[Aaron Weber]

You can just get it. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They taught us Take me out to the crowd. Right. But then when I started seeing them sing, they say, take me out to the park.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I heard ballpark.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I've only heard crowd.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. But I've only heard it. Right. So I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

What. What have you heard?

[Aaron Weber]

Take me. I. I've heard the lyrics of it, but.

[Dusty Slay]

Say it. What? What is it?

[Aaron Weber]

Take me out to the ball game Take me out with the crowd.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, okay. Well, to the crowd. To the party.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Was there, like an official thing? Did somebody write it?

[Aaron Weber]

It's an actual song. Yeah. Yeah. Take me out to the ball game.

[Brian Bates]

That's funny. I always thought it was to the crowd.

[Aaron Weber]

Which 19. It's written in 1908.

[Brian Bates]

But Aaron also thinks a batter gets beamed instead of beans.

[Aaron Weber]

That's true. Oh, take me out with the crowd Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks Single singular Cracker Jack.

[Brian Bates]

Cracker Jacks.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't guess they are not Cracker Jacks.

[Aaron Weber]

Some Cracker Jack. I don't care about what if you

[Dusty Slay]

want two boxes though,

[Kathleen Madigan]

you gotta wait for your. You gotta eat them all. Wait for your server to come.

[Brian Bates]

It's part of the nine challenge.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, that guy that sold you those a back when yours is empty either.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly.

[Kathleen Madigan]

He just quit. Paula Dean's.

[Aaron Weber]

So another one I looked up because I remember when this happened. It was not that long ago in Beirut, Lebanon, in 2020. There was a massive explosion. Do you guys remember seeing this when it happened again? Zany's trying to shut us down, dude. 2020.

[Brian Bates]

What is Andrew Dorfman trying to hide here?

[Kathleen Madigan]

A lot?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Well, this is a cool video because there's like there was a woman doing a bridal photo. Oh, explosion.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes. I remember her because of. Just because of that, though. That's the only thing that rings a bell.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you remember that. That footage? Not the.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes. Because I thought that, you know, a lot of people go, well, the rain ruined my wedding day. You don't even know what ruining your wedding day can actually mean, man.

[Brian Bates]

I don't remember.

[Aaron Weber]

Here's. Here's a good. Here's a good video of it. This was in 2020.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

What blew up right downtown? Let's get it. Let me get a good.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I know it's a building, but.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh my God. That looks like an atom bomb.

[Brian Bates]

It does.

[Aaron Weber]

So it was. It was the largest non nuclear explosion in world history. It happened. It's pretty crazy. So it was. It was. First of all, it was fireworks that went off. It was a warehouse fire that was next to this port where all this stuff was being stored. They had seized stuff from a cargo ship and they put it in this building right next to a warehouse. The warehouse caught on fire and it was 2700 tons of ammonium nitrate that had been confiscated from a cargo ship. And it just. Boom.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Have you ever seen the video of the Chinese fireworks plant that blew up? It's so.

[Dusty Slay]

Sounds like the beginning of a joke. It's kind of.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It was kind of exciting. I'd hate to say it, but I've

[Aaron Weber]

seen videos and there's a guy filming it from across.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. But actual like bottle rockets were flying out. Like you actually got to see some. That worked correctly.

[Dusty Slay]

There was a fertilizer plant that exploded in America like 10 years ago. That pretty insane. The guy filming it was so far away and he thought it was no danger. It's a big deal.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I can't find this. We gotta figure out. We gotta figure out the YouTube thing. This episode. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Our Exclusive snack, hydration, and coffee sponsor. I mean, that is three categories that are tough to get in this podcast.

[Dusty Slay]

That is true.

[Aaron Weber]

IQ Bar protein bars, IQ Mix, hydration mixes, and IQ Joe Mushroom coffees are the delicious, low sugar brain and body fuel that you need to win your day. The ultimate sampler pack. I mean, that's the best way to check out everything IQ Bar has. You get nine IQ Bars, eight IQ Mix sticks, four IQ Joe sticks. You can try a little bit of everything, see what you like. Everything is entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial ingredients. They're packed with clean, delicious ingredients that keep you physically and mentally fit, like magnesium, lion's mane, and more. IQ Mix is a personal favorite of mine. A zero sugar drink mix, hydrates with electrolytes, improves your mood. That hasn't worked with me, but it boosts clarity. It does do that. I personally use the IQ mix, and it really helps. And right now, IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20 off all IQ Bar products, including that ultimate sampler pack I told you about, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text public to 64,000. Text public to 64,000. That's public to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.

[Brian Bates]

Well, what'd you think of the guy this weekend at the White House Press Correspondent Dinner who kept eating at the table?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, apparently he's a super agent for caa. Yeah, I did one upped him, though. The lady stealing the booze.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, I didn't see that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, she went table to table and took the wine. She's shoving it all in her purse, and I'm like, boy, if I'd have had the wherewithal, I would have been

[Dusty Slay]

right next to spirit animal.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Hey, Vovquicot. Come on, we're taking the good champagne. Yeah, Shadia, this is where you hold. This whole thing is insane. Like, if somebody is so not scared, I've got the time to think. Now's the time to grab some free booze. Kathleen, on your way out. Like.

[Dusty Slay]

Like.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And the dude that kept eating, I. You know what? That would have been my dad, though, because my dad was totally deaf.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, what?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Again? He wouldn't have known. You know, you don't have the dad. They're shooting. Like, you'd have to scream it at him.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, I didn't know what your mother was talking about. Okay, that guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Imagine here at the bottom left.

[Dusty Slay]

Imagine, though, you're the. The lady and you got invited on a date, and in your mind, you're like, I don't want to go on the date with the guy. But there is going to be a lot of free food and booze and then the shooting happens and you're like, I didn't do this date for nothing.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No. These are, these are my exit prizes. Thank you very much for coming. Here's your swag bag. Where's the lady? And she looks like one of my sister in law.

[Aaron Weber]

So this is in the immediate aftermath of it. Like, like they're still exiting the room.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. They don't even. Nobody.

[Dusty Slay]

They're all pretty chill.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The shooter was on a different floor apparently.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they're all pretty chill.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Look at this table in the bottom right. They're not even. Now everybody's reacting. This guy, they take JD out before Donald.

[Aaron Weber]

Way before.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, yeah. Which, you know, I don't know. Then this guy. What are you. Come on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Rambo, Shrambo. That, that was original. Pointing at the customers.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Like, I don't need that gun pointed at me. I'm here. Like Dusty said, on a bad day, it's not working out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And now I got. I got a machine gun pointed at my face.

[Dusty Slay]

Face.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Where's the lady stealing the booze?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That's what I want to see.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Can you type in lady Ste.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I am going to look that up.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's so funny.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. But the guy that was eating, he said I felt safe in the moment. So.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Kept eating.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He's like, I paid a lot to be here.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you pay a lot to go. Oh, she's taking pictures of herself too.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Here. That she's. This is where she. She puts. These are videos somewhere else. Those are still pictures. But yeah. She pockets that and I'm like, that's champagne paint. She went high. These guys are up there. She's like, I know, but if I could just get three more bottles in this. This night would be such a profitable evening for me.

[Aaron Weber]

They got. They're not too.

[Brian Bates]

Do you know who she was?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I do not. I can't. It looks like one of my sister in laws, but I'm afraid to call because it absolutely could be her.

[Aaron Weber]

That's crazy. That is crazy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I was in a casino where there was a shooting and I did. I would refuse to leave my video poker machine because it was doing so good. I was with Kenny Rogerson and it was that fight where a hundred years ago Mike Tyson bit off Evander Holyfield's ear. So it was over like in four seconds. And I'm like, well, what. What happens to my bet? Like, because I bet it would go three rounds, but he got DQ'd. So does that not. Should I, Shouldn't I. I don't even understand. But anyway, they let the fight out, and everybody was going crazy because everybody was really mad that they spent all that money. And it only lasted, you know, 30 seconds or whatever. One route less than one round. And it was in the old. Well, the MGM is still the MGM now, but it was designed differently. But there was gunfire over by the, quote wizard of Oz bar. And I said to Kenny, I go, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not gunfire. No, no. I just got four eights. Like, this machine is on fire. I feel four aces are coming. And he's like, honey, we're not going anywhere. That's their story. This is ours.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, let's not graze by this, though. You're hanging with Kenny Rogers. I'm a huge Kenny Rogers fan.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Not that one. Kenny Rogers was in the band with Roberto.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's right.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, he's a Boston comic. He was funny. We both drank beer and smoke cigs, and we had just gotten so settled in our. Our spot, we found two great machines. And I'm like, I'm not going to let you run me off. I'm sure way over there.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm not going to be governed by fear out here.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's right. I came down here as a positive winner.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm sure he's great, but that's a tough name to be introduced. Kenny.

[Brian Bates]

Roger, son.

[Dusty Slay]

You Kenny Rogers, son now? My last name is Roger.

[Brian Bates]

Goes by Ken, doesn't he?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why we all called him Kenny. He must have told me to. I wouldn't have done that on my own kid.

[Brian Bates]

Probably on stage, she just says, yeah, I'm Kenny Rogerson.

[Kathleen Madigan]

He's very funny. Very, very funny.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Him.

[Aaron Weber]

The funniest man you've never heard of.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, pretty much. But, I mean, a lot of those Boston guys.

[Brian Bates]

Punchline.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You know, a lot of those Boston guys, I feel like, because they kind of tend to gravitate towards their area. Yeah. And the. I mean, he went and did all the shows. Who's the other one? Kevin Meanie. Like, there were a bunch.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But locally, Don Gavin is. Is God.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what I mean?

[Kathleen Madigan]

But if you say it, you know, around the country, like, normal people would be like, I. I kind of know. Maybe not.

[Aaron Weber]

It's kind of like Brian with Nashville.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Exactly. I mean, here. Lord Jesus. You go on the road. I don't know what apostle, but I can't remember which one. Luke?

[Brian Bates]

No, Luke's one of the big ones. I'm more like Philip or something.

[Aaron Weber]

Bartholomew1.

[Brian Bates]

Do you have to think, is he apostle?

[Kathleen Madigan]

CBS is.

[Aaron Weber]

You could have convinced me. I don't remember that one.

[Brian Bates]

Now, I always heard that you were the only comic that Letterman let use a mic stand. Is that right?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I did. I don't know. Maybe nobody else ever asked for one. I, I was just like, look, I'm not doing your flying an airplane. I'm not putting the headset on. I'm not Christopher Titus. I don't have a TED Talk. I'm going to stand here and tell jokes.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, were a lot of guys doing that on Letterman? You'd have to wear the headset.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, the headset. Or I said, maybe I'll meet you halfway with the lapel mic, but you can't really hear yourself in those. And like, look, I've been doing one thing this way for this many years, and now you want to change it all up? No, not doing that.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't realize. I just thought they had handheld mics with no mic stand.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, they had that. Like Brian Regan would have always. But he would always naturally take it out of the mic.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And I don't, I'm like, I stand here. I don't touch that. It's called stand up comedy. That's what I'm getting paid for.

[Aaron Weber]

You, you're, you are unique in that. You, you do not take the mic out of the mic stand. You stand there and do the act.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I've never touched it.

[Aaron Weber]

The first time I opened for Kathleen on the road at a theater was in Atlanta, and I missed sound check. For whatever reason. I don't remember. I missed sound.

[Dusty Slay]

Right. Hiking or something.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I think I was at a baseball game or something. No, come on, come on. And then I, I, I get there. I remember I walked out, out, and I tried to take the mic out of the stand and probably was only 5 seconds, but in my head it felt like 30 minutes trying to get the mic out of the stand. So I go, I guess I'm just doing a set like Kathleen does. I go, let me just try to do this. And I gotta tell you, I was like, my ex stinks. Because if I can't sell it with. I was like, I didn't realize how much I was selling with.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, you think there's not a lot of substance in your act. It's mostly just sounds and waves.

[Dusty Slay]

I've always said if you mute Aaron, it's better just. Just watch him work.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Ron White doesn't do it either.

[Aaron Weber]

But I'm saying it's a real testament to your comedy that you do it. You deliver it and sell it with just. You're just. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

There's a theme here.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Ron has good jokes. He still does.

[Aaron Weber]

Trying to give a compliment.

[Dusty Slay]

He can't.

[Aaron Weber]

He can't compliment on this.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. I never thought about. Doesn't anybody else use one? But I'm like, it's just non negotiable. I'm not gonna sit here and argue with you guys. Just go, go get a mic stand.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. It's not that hard.

[Kathleen Madigan]

How hard is that? Right. I'll bring my own if you can.

[Dusty Slay]

And let everybody have their own unique flair on the show. Everybody doesn't need to do the same thing. Right. I. I gotta ask about doing that thing. When I think. I think when I did the Tonight show, they asked, would you prefer that I go, oh, no, no, no.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Now I'm taking calls from waymos that are going in circles at lax. No, I. And I just think it's very life coachy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. It just looks James Gregory was doing that a lot at the.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But he was old and crazy and he probably had a cigarette in his hand and drinking this. His hands are busy enough. He doesn't need to be. James got a lot going on. I excuse the over 70 crowd if they do whatever you want to do to keep going on stage.

[Aaron Weber]

But yeah, he was sitting down at the end and all that kind of stuff.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, it could come sit down. Comedy. Even Cosby, before all the bad accusations and stuff. He was sitting down a lot. Lot.

[Aaron Weber]

Even like himself that special. He was. He was sitting down for a lot of it.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm against it.

[Aaron Weber]

You're against sitting down?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, I'm against it. Unless you're super old and people want to come in.

[Dusty Slay]

Unless you're super old. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Liza Minelli dancing from a chair now. Liza Minella. If you Google that, it's horrifying. And I'm like, wait, do you see? It's recently. She's got like a red top on and she's kicking her legs. And I'm like, I mean, I guess if she's having fun, but it just doesn't.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

What are we still doing here?

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Just come out and tell a story.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, there's.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Call it an evening. Which is always a code for I'm not doing anything productive. I'm just gonna talk about me. Shirley McLean's gonna talk about Shirley McLean for 11 hours. Buckle in. Starting in the 20s.

[Brian Bates]

Well, she's got a lot to talk about.

[Dusty Slay]

Is it Iggy Pop that's still doing with his shirt off? He's like in.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I've seen some of that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But Iggy's got scoliosis. This, so you can't. He's always looked like that.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's not age. Well, the wrinkles are age.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Everything else is age.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It's sagging. Yeah. Yeah, I think. Did you see him at the end, though, at Coachella? So it was very cool. He got in a coffin to leave. They brought a big old coffin out, put him in and shut the door, and off he went. And I'm like, I like it. That's a good exit. Entertaining. Funny. Yeah, but I know it. He just looks. But he's always looked pretty train wrecky.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he's always looked weird, right?

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I'm saying.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Come on, dude.

[Kathleen Madigan]

He clearly likes.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he does look. He looks like one of those. What are they called? Bob Ganoush Girls.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, I guess he. I don't even know. He's like funk. Punk. Punk.

[Dusty Slay]

I never think he has one song.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't even. I didn't even know that.

[Dusty Slay]

That something. The Traveler or something like that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I had to Google it. But he does have a very big following of the punk crowd. People. I want to tell the kids, though, that they're the punk kids. This is what you could look like.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Just FYI, I don't know what this train. Where this train goes, but for this man who's the leader, this is where it ended. This is the last station.

[Aaron Weber]

This is best case scenario. Yeah, you become a pop, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's a tough look.

[Aaron Weber]

That's all I have on the disaster stuff, Brian.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, is that what we're talking about? Disasters?

[Dusty Slay]

I had no idea either man made disaster.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I mean, Chicago Fire.

[Aaron Weber]

The Chicago Fire?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, that was pretty bad.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, the fertilizer. Fertilizer explosion is pretty intense.

[Aaron Weber]

The one in Beirut?

[Dusty Slay]

No, the. The one in America.

[Brian Bates]

Topeka, Kansas or something.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, let me look that one up.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But the Chicago Fire was supposed to blame it on that lady's cow.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but don't they think that's probably not the case?

[Kathleen Madigan]

Correct. It is not the case.

[Brian Bates]

Kick over a lantern.

[Aaron Weber]

Investigation continues. That was out of 2016, so that. What year was this?

[Dusty Slay]

About that time.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. Video unavailable.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Aaron Weber]

It's all good.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I like the bucks.

[Dusty Slay]

At least we're protected, though. We are protected from, you know, seeing things that we want. We don't want to see.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That we do want to see.

[Aaron Weber]

Do people die and do people die in this?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think so. No. It was a. I just saw a guy. Maybe they did, but a guy. Guy was filming from his truck from a dist. Like a distance. And this explosion, like, you could tell he was like. I did not think that was going to affect me.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, so this was like. I was about to say, why was he filming? There was already a fire.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

And he was filming.

[Dusty Slay]

Or he's, you know, or he set the bomb. Who knows?

[Aaron Weber]

But, yeah, he said the bomb got pretty far away.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Before he filmed it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, I think we're going to see a lot more of this sooner than later because all of our infrastructure is getting so old.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

When these dams start bursting.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. And they're all Lake of the Ozarks. One in Missouri is probably at least. Probably 100 years old. You know, it seems fine for now, but how many of the. Where was it just recently where they were? Oh, I was in Wisconsin. Well, I wasn't. I was in up. I was in Michigan. This is all in Wisconsin. Like, last two weeks ago. Flooding, flooding, flooding. The dams were just one after another because the Army Corps either doesn't have enough funding or enough people or whatever. But that's my next prediction. Ocean dams.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I try to tell these people all the time that the country's falling apart, and they don't listen to me.

[Kathleen Madigan]

It is. Yeah. That's why we want to time travel backwards.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And do it right this time.

[Aaron Weber]

That's why we leave Earth and go somewhere else right now.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, my God. That's the whole movie at the Sphere. It was the most depressing thing I've ever seen in my life. Well, let's say you go to the Sphere on a day where there's no concert.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

What they do offer you is a movie called Postcards from Earlier Earth. So Tweedledee and Tweedle Dumb can't sign up fast enough. Here's my $35. To see your crazy movie or what? It was more than that, actually. 75 bucks. It's a whole movie about how we've destroyed the planet. There's plastic islands of garbage that are, you know, 100 billion miles wide in the ocean. Then they show you all that, and then ghettos and slums. The Ultimate Irino is after you're so depressed. And here's what happens when you leave Earth. You better have partnered up because you have to get in a pot. There's got to be a one person or two person. According to this movie. I'm like, so single people are screwed again. That's not nice. They should be able to take a friend or a pet.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I got to go in a single pot. Who thought of all that? Well, then I walked out and they were trying to sell me a souvenir plastic sphere cup. I'm like, go watch your own movie. You go sit through that depressing God awful thing. I just watch it out. What? I don't even understand the point because it's not even like you're telling me, hey, there's things you can do, Kathleen.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

They're just letting you know, don't drink

[Kathleen Madigan]

out of the plastic water bottle. They're just letting me.

[Aaron Weber]

It's bad.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'll go to hell.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Real soon. Yeah. And then there's other planets that when we land, we don't know people. There's no buildings. I don't want to go there. Right.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like, just fix what we've destroyed. Right? We messed this up.

[Kathleen Madigan]

We were on the right track during

[Aaron Weber]

COVID Yeah, but you never been in a house or an apartment.

[Dusty Slay]

I agree.

[Aaron Weber]

Beat up. You're like, dude, I mean, I could fix it up, but total. Let's just start over.

[Dusty Slay]

The Rearranger. The Rearranger comes in and just starts rearranging.

[Aaron Weber]

Have you heard Dusty's idea for.

[Dusty Slay]

For a reality show many times, but called the Rearranger? You go in, you don't buy anything new, but people's houses are a wreck. And you go in and you go, all right, let's take what you got here. Let's rearrange some of this stuff.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Okay. I like it.

[Dusty Slay]

Make this better for you. Costs no money. You just film it. And I go in and I go, well, this, this bookshelf needs to be over here. And we could put this. And it's.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Are you going to organize as well?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, just rearranging and organizing. Organizing.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

And I like it called the Rearranger. That's it. That's it.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a simple show, low budget show.

[Dusty Slay]

And I just go in and I

[Aaron Weber]

go, no construction, no carpentry.

[Dusty Slay]

You can build stuff, but it's got to be. You can take some tools, that's all you can do, and then what they have, you can build off what they have, but you can't bring stuff in.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Nothing new.

[Dusty Slay]

Nothing new.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, that's why I don't even understand that this is. Again, why you and I should go backwards and take time. Like, why are they still, like, at Target selling plates? Haven't we made enough plates?

[Dusty Slay]

There's enough plates for everyone.

[Aaron Weber]

Plates break, though.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Occasional. How many.

[Dusty Slay]

How many plates?

[Aaron Weber]

All plates. Quite a bit.

[Kathleen Madigan]

What do you do?

[Aaron Weber]

I got. Well, the baby's going to.

[Dusty Slay]

Once the food's done, he can't stop. He's still going,

[Brian Bates]

more food.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I. I can honestly say I have never broken a plate. I. I still have the same plates that I bought my first apartment. Because who. It's a white plate. I don't care.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I don't have plastic plates out there too well.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And then my mom will go, you want to take these? You know this china. No, I don't. Well, here's that. More dishes. More dishes than. My parents stole dishes from Florida. They're trying to pawn those off on people. There's just dishes everywhere. I don't understand why we can't just distribute them. If you're a rearranger show. We would take the extra stuff and then give it to the people that were gonna go buy a plate. There's no need for that.

[Dusty Slay]

And like an angel. Like an antique store. There's a store in Opelika where I'm from, Angels Antiques. It's an old Walmart. And you just go in there, and it's just endless. Just stuff just, you know, it's like. Yeah. You walk through there and you go, I don't want any of this. But it's just endless.

[Kathleen Madigan]

See?

[Dusty Slay]

It's huge.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's what I'm saying. There's one in Old Hickory.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

By my house. And I went in there and went. And everybody's got their little stalls. They're each one of them, but no one's. There was no one buying. There was one guy in front of me, and he bought the Aunt Jemima black racist salt and pepper shakers.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

She had a lot.

[Dusty Slay]

And he did that for.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I know where to get it. Yeah. That was definitely a joke to put in the mail. Yeah. To somebody that he thought was going to be hilarious. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There's a million plates in that place. I bet.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Over 500 vendors.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's 68,000.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not saying there's not some good stuff in there, but you walk through and you go, man, we got a lot of stuff.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But you know what? It's going to end up just like it lives now. It's going to end up in your home, sitting there doing Nothing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Or in the other ocean.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Or we can send it off into

[Dusty Slay]

space or send this whole thing to a country that has nothing.

[Brian Bates]

Chernobyl.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Take some of this stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Hey, do you want some old signs? No, we'd like some better.

[Kathleen Madigan]

We give our cars to Tijuana. Like, let's get that program extended out a little further south. Help some people out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I don't understand why we're making all this new stuff when we have an enough. But again, that's why I would go back in time.

[Aaron Weber]

I feel weird that I break plates more than the other.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That is very strange, Aaron.

[Aaron Weber]

I get a little clumsy unloading the dishwasher sometimes.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, but how hard does a plate have to fall? What's your floor made of? Concrete? Jesus.

[Brian Bates]

Like three or four a week.

[Aaron Weber]

No, three or four a week is crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

At Target, they're like, oh, more plates, huh?

[Aaron Weber]

Well, we. I've got like the everyday plates and those. I put them to work. Right, and then you've got like your nice plates that you're like, I guess we're waiting till, like the president comes over for dinner.

[Brian Bates]

China.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. That'll be like, yeah, we never use that. Yeah, but the everyday plates take a beating, man.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I had a one bedroom apartment in Hermosa beach and my mom's like, I'm shipping all this China out to your house. I go, a, I don't have a house. B, I am on the road 322 days a year. I doubt out when those 20 days are available that I am home, I'm going to be hosting a China tea party.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

For other comedians that also have no money or nothing in a one bedroom. It wasn't even really. It was a studio. I did not even have a kitchen table. I'm like, no, mama eat on the couch.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

So am I supposed to invite my friends over and go, oh, where's China? From my grandma Madigan. Here you go, Aaron. Don't break it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, and you don't want to put China in the microwave. Not fine china. No.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No. You know, have you guys ever done this? Me and my sister were talking. I said, hold on, I think I have something in the microwave that shouldn't be in the microwave. She goes, oh, I do that all the time because I just want to see what will happen. And I said, me too.

[Aaron Weber]

We just put random stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

Like aluminum.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, no, it's not random. Like a fork. It would have something to do with food, you know, that I'm heating up. But like, stuff I Don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Let's just see how this plays out.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. Yeah, but I was. I thought I was the only one

[Aaron Weber]

talking about food or, like, materials.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, food that wrapped in a material. Let's say it's wrapped in rental wrap. You're not supposed to put Reynolds wrap in there, right?

[Dusty Slay]

I put a Chick fil a sandwich in the bag one time.

[Aaron Weber]

In the foil bag.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And I didn't realize that inside was foil. Caught on fire. Ruined my lunch.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And the microwave.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, well, it was a company microwave, so I didn't deal with it.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that the Home Depot?

[Dusty Slay]

As the Office Depot.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Different depot that I worked at.

[Aaron Weber]

How many depots have you worked? Several.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Somebody drunk at my leg bar. Somebody was talking about, I love it when there's been, like, 18 pictures of Miller light consumed. And then we're gonna solve hard stuff, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, of course.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Because somebody was talking about their kid being autistic, and somebody else was like, yeah, I don't know what causes all that. And there's this big chatter about autism being more prevalent now than. Which it is. Than it wasn't. This drunk old guy who lives on his boat goes, microwaves. I'm like, what was that, Charlie? Because I didn't even know if he was joining in our conversation or just yelling out random words was like, think about it. When did they come around?

[Dusty Slay]

How.

[Kathleen Madigan]

How about for me and you, Kathleen? What were we, 21? We're way beyond that. It's the ones under that age. Only difference between our generation and them.

[Aaron Weber]

That's the only difference. Microwaves.

[Kathleen Madigan]

But he did have a point.

[Aaron Weber]

You're on board with this?

[Dusty Slay]

I'm anti microwave now.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I would. Yeah. I don't love it, but sometimes I'm too lazy to heat it up. Like an old person. Let me get my thing and put it in the oven.

[Aaron Weber]

Cooking tray or whatever.

[Brian Bates]

You have a cabin too, right?

[Kathleen Madigan]

I do. I have a cabin in the woods. Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, mine's in the woods a bit.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I love it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. And it's like, there's some meth heads down my road.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I heard you talk about this on another podcast. I was worried for you.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I have guns. They have guns. The brothers. Well, I know they know I have a gun.

[Brian Bates]

Shootouts don't always go well.

[Aaron Weber]

But it's mutually assured destruction.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Correct. And they'll let you it. They want to do meth and hunt and do whatever they do in the creek. Probably get their meth water. I don't know. And I Say it's fine. So, yes, you're welcome on the property. And. But. But do I completely trust. No, I don't.

[Dusty Slay]

No, you never can trust them. No, but there could be all right people.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They're all right.

[Dusty Slay]

Trust them.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, they're just. You know, their family owned all that for years and years and years. And it got sold off little by little as they stayed more in their trailer and cooked meth. And then they kind of lost track, and you gotta. They don't like the new people that bought it. And then they did rob. It's like there's mice in there for sure. But, like, they stole the shower curtain that was already used.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's gross. I had a friend that told me.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I had a friend that told me one time that he was. Had a little homemade meth lab in his house, and it caught fire, and he couldn't get the fire to go out, so he wrapped it in the shower curtain and threw it outside. So maybe that's what happened to them. And they needed a new shower curtain

[Aaron Weber]

in a plastic shower curtain.

[Dusty Slay]

I. He was just freaking out.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, plastic would probably smother it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

While it melted.

[Aaron Weber]

And I guess you don't want to call the fire department if you're a mess.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Laps.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Right? Yeah. Maybe that was it. I thought. I was thinking more along the line of a wedding gift.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

You know, you never know.

[Dusty Slay]

You never know.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I like my cabin. Me and Dusty are going to ride off into the sunset. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I love respect.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yep. Because I used to do a joke 100 years of my act about when Randy tried. Travis got. He was found naked in a truck, drunk in a ditch with vodka. And I said, now, look, I understand all those things individually, and I like them. And I approve. I like trucks. I like vodka. I like being naked. I don't understand how that occurred in one evening. And when you have a bazillion dollars, you know, you should call for a ride. I go, if I had his money, I would call the Clydesdales and have them pick me up in a beer wagon. And I would sing Here Comes the King, here Comes the Big, Number one the entire way. Drunk on a giant. A horse Again, though, I'm going back to. I want my horse outside. Yeah, I'd like it to be a Clydesdale. Yeah. But it's hard to get on. I'd have to have, like, a step ladder.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, they're huge.

[Dusty Slay]

You could probably work a saddle situation where it folds down a ladder, fold

[Kathleen Madigan]

down like a GMC Vehicle falls down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The further out in the woods, the better.

[Brian Bates]

You got any shows coming up?

[Kathleen Madigan]

For the rest of my life, Ryan.

[Brian Bates]

Well, now you're going to retire soon.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, not yet. Yet. Yeah. I just did Boston this week is. Oh, Biloxi B Rivage. And then the Casino. I love.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I've done that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Love it.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a great spot. Yeah, I love that spot.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The next week is Vegas, the Venetian. And then that Camden, Missouri. That's where my cabin is in the woods. That's Bert's show and I'm just going on it. So I'm jumping on that for fun because then the show is not my responsibility, which is wonderful. It's Bert's problem.

[Brian Bates]

Is Bert staying at your cabin?

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, no one's invited. Maybe Dwarf.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And then Knoxville. Knoxville. I had to reschedule those because of the ice storm.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And then summer. Summer. I have time off. Selbyville. That's in the woods. That gig is in the woods.

[Aaron Weber]

I love that.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And then I can't. Oh, Niagara Falls. I love it. I go on the Maiden in the Mist every time. Just travel advice, if you're ever going to night, go on the Canadian side because. Not because I'm anti American. It's. This view is so much better.

[Dusty Slay]

It is great.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Over. Yeah. That Canadian side. You wear red ponchos because it's team red against team blue.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I went to Niagara Falls recently and we were too lazy to go into Canada and I was pretty underwhelmed by.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The side is not. It's.

[Dusty Slay]

It's out. We have the best side, but you can't see it as well from our side.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Right, right.

[Dusty Slay]

Because the side that we see is the American side. Right.

[Kathleen Madigan]

The side that we're looking at is the American side. But the, the falls are technically.

[Dusty Slay]

We have the worst Canada. Best fall, but the worst view.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Is that right?

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. I mean, I don't know.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Then I rabbit holed all the people. I probably spent three hours in my hotel room. People that have gone over the falls either on purpose or not on purpose. And one lady was so mean, she put her cat in a barrel to see if. No, but hold on. The cat survived just fine. So then she did it, and then she went on tour. She went on the road as a lady. That's all you had to do back then. There were no comedy clubs or anything else. You had to do something absolutely crazy and then you went on the road. Everybody wants to see the lady in the barrel.

[Dusty Slay]

You had to Go viral in the newspaper.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah. See if you can find her.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, so she just toured different waterfalls?

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, she just went around and gave speeches. The most bizarre thing I've ever seen. And I'll shut up.

[Aaron Weber]

Is in Seattle, Annie Edson Taylor.

[Kathleen Madigan]

There she is. There's her barrel. She got a sponsor and everything. See that? Look at that. She's got a sponsor. Yep.

[Aaron Weber]

Her motives were entirely financial, but she never made much money from her adventure.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And she was, like, 67.

[Aaron Weber]

She died penniless. And her funeral was paid for by public debt donations.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, who was the promoter of the tour? They probably took all her money. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Just because she died penniless didn't mean she didn't make money alone.

[Brian Bates]

She made money, had a good time.

[Kathleen Madigan]

She made money.

[Brian Bates]

Sounds like she went out just right.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I think so.

[Aaron Weber]

Now. She had a brutal life. She was married and her husband died and their baby died. And then she was just between jobs, so she started doing the barrel.

[Kathleen Madigan]

This is the grand snap. This is the. There was a lawyer guy who's alive and he lives in Michigan. Michigan. He went over in a fishing boat with his uncle and his. Accidentally. They got caught up on the other side and then boom. And he said he barely. He was seven. And he's like. I kind of remember it, but I think because I only weighed like 80 when I hit the water, it wasn't that big of a deal.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

He lives somewhere. He's a lawyer in Michigan somewhere. There's just the things people did to go on tour at the Seattle Moore Theater. They have all the old posters. And I was walking out there, the hall in the 30s, you could have bought a ticket. And I don't know why it made me laugh, but it. It was, come see Willie Hitler. I'm like, who's Willie Hitler? And then you keep reading the poster. It was Hitler's nephew trying to warn everyone. He's a complete lunatic. He's going to cause serious problems and chaos. I'm not even kidding. You guys see William Hitler, and I'm like, he doesn't sound as threatening as Adolf because he's willing to. Willie. Where's Willie Hitler? He went on tour. He toured the whole United States. A Moore theater holds about 1800 people.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Kathleen Madigan]

And they were selling these things. That's what we would have been up against. Wow. The barrel lady and Willie Hitler or Dusty Slay, who we're spending our money to see.

[Aaron Weber]

I was reading about the barrel lady. Her manager stole her barrel and most of her money, and she had to use Private detectives to find it. They found it in Chicago, but then her new manager stole it. Bad luck with her reps. Yeah, manager. What a life.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's a little Elvisy right there. Bad manager.

[Aaron Weber]

So go see Kathleen on tour. One of the best. Go see her and.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, come on out.

[Dusty Slay]

Where are you going to be this weekend? I'm back on the road for one weekend. I'm going to be in Dallas, Texas, on Friday and Houston on Saturday.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Oh, fun.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I'll be in.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Get those.

[Dusty Slay]

I'll be in LA on Monday, but the show sold out.

[Aaron Weber]

So I'm in Salt Lake City. This is Aaron Weber.

[Dusty Slay]

Know what's happening.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, sorry. No, you're. This is Aaron speaking. But yeah, I'm going to be in Salt Lake City this weekend at Wise Guys and then Washington D.C. at the DC Improv. So wise Guys in Salt Lake and then the DC Improv. Brian, what about you?

[Brian Bates]

Going to be in Denver, in Greeley, Colorado, and then two nights in Casper Wise, Wyoming.

[Dusty Slay]

Casper, Colorado. You're doing the O now?

[Brian Bates]

Well, you guys have called me out

[Aaron Weber]

on it, so he says Colorado. That's the way he says it.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Some people say it like that. And I don't know. Have I been saying it wrong my whole life?

[Aaron Weber]

No, you.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Colorado.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's how you say it.

[Kathleen Madigan]

They say ratto or something.

[Dusty Slay]

He said Colorado. Colorado, which I like. I think Colorado's good. But now he doesn't say it because we called him out on it.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Well, we need to get somebody on the phone from actual the state of Colorado. Colorado.

[Aaron Weber]

Colorado. I just ask, is it Nevada or Nevada?

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe Nevado or say whatever you want.

[Kathleen Madigan]

My dad would say Cincinnati. I'm like, that's just wrong. Like nobody else is saying it's not Hawaii. Why are you saying an I as an A dad? That's what everybody call. Is it Chicago or Chicago? Old people say Chicago.

[Aaron Weber]

Chicago.

[Kathleen Madigan]

No, Chicago.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Kathleen Madigan]

We say Chicago. Chicago.

[Aaron Weber]

Chicago.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know the difference in the two that you're saying.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Chicago. Chicago.

[Dusty Slay]

Ah. Oh, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know what I said.

[Aaron Weber]

I can't.

[Kathleen Madigan]

That's a tough Chicago call. Like, call like Chicago or Chicago or Cincinnati if you're Jack Madigan. Just so wrong.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, Cincinnati, Ohio.

[Brian Bates]

You want to wrap it up, Aaron?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I don't know. That felt like the end of the podcast. The last 30 seconds.

[Brian Bates]

Well, thank you for coming, Kathleen.

[Aaron Weber]

Kathleen, you're the best. Thanks for coming by.

[Kathleen Madigan]

I'm gonna go steal one of Brian's beers.

[Aaron Weber]

Yep.

[Brian Bates]

Not Brian Dorfman.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Brian Dorfman, owner of Zany's.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yes, owner. Because he. I purposely asked if he was here, and I'm like, great, you're not here. I'm gonna drink everything you own. All of it. And there won't be anything left.

[Aaron Weber]

Though I love the idea of Bates having a private fridge just filled with beer here at the.

[Brian Bates]

Kathleen knows about.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Knows about his own ipa.

[Aaron Weber]

He's gonna steal from. You're the best. Thanks for coming, everybody. Thanks for listening in. Good afternoon, good evening, good night, and we'll see you later. We'll see you next time. God bless and be safe. Thank you, Kathleen. Appreciate it. That was great.

[Kathleen Madigan]

By the time I hit my 50s, I'd learned a few things, like how family is precious, work can always wait, and 99% of people over 50 already have the virus that causes shingles. Not everyone at risk will develop it. But I did. The painful, blistering rash disrupted my life for work weeks. Don't learn about your shingles risk the hard way. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist today. Sponsored by gsk.

[Aaron Weber]

Folks knew the colonel approved of his new honey, chili crisp and jalapeno ranch sauces the moment he tasted them and said, that's right.

[Dusty Slay]

No notes, just absolute silence.

[Aaron Weber]

Turns out some flavors don't need explaining. They just need dipping. It's saucy season at KFC with new honey, chili Crisp and jalapeno Ranch.

[Dusty Slay]

Get dipping with a boneless bucket today.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Prices and participation vary.

[Dusty Slay]

And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, no.

[Aaron Weber]

We help people customize and save on

[Dusty Slay]

car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Dusty Slay]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Kathleen Madigan]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.