20: #20 | Pranks featuring Stephen Bargatze

Summary

Public Figures Podcast: Episode 20 "#20 | Pranks featuring Stephen Bargatze"

Release Date: June 17, 2026
Hosts: Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates
Special Guest: Stephen Bargatze (magician and father of comedian Nate Bargatze)

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Episode Overview

This lively episode spotlights pranks and magic with magician Stephen Bargatze, focusing on the art of pranking—at home, on stage, and among friends. The regular hosts share stories about recent gigs, discuss generational nostalgia, the evolution of culture, and how crowd work plays into comedy. The highlight is a deep-dive with Stephen on his magic special, audience interaction, and a treasure trove of brilliant prank stories.

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Key Segments & Timestamps

1. Bantering & Life Updates (03:41–21:05)
2. On the Road: Festival & Family (11:13–19:41)
3. Comedy Environments & Set Dynamics (17:01–21:44)
4. Generations, Nostalgia & Society's ‘Decline’ (28:23–34:28)
5. Viewer Comments & Candy Bar Wars (23:40–38:03)
6. Alien Abductions & Benevolence (38:21–40:45)
7. Welcome Stephen Bargatze: Magic, Pranks, and Stage Stories (56:47–120:05)
8. Best Pranks, Family Mischief, & Magic Philosophy (92:57–117:25)
9. Quick-fire Q&A & Closing (117:35–123:36)

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Detailed Breakdown

1. Banter & Philosophical What-Ifs (03:41–06:07)

• The trio muses on sleep and food superpowers—would you choose a life without needing sleep or food?
  • Dusty notes: “You would never get to enjoy…the relaxing feeling of a good nap or even a good night's sleep.” (02:24)
• Debate over whittling, old-fashioned pastimes, and the impact of technology.
  • “Phones are destroying our lives. And now they're building data centers everywhere. It's like, what are we even doing with these things?” – Dusty (02:52)
• Commentary on bringing knives into places (“Have a locker for me to put it in.” – Dusty, 04:06)

2. Recent Shows & Festival Tales (06:15–21:44)

• Brian performs for a foster/adoption charity, Lifeline Children's Services, in Topeka, Kansas—shares about their mission. (06:32–07:31)
• The Grove Comedy Club in Lowell, Arkansas: Club history, founder stories (“We used to say about Bill, because he was just throwing stuff at us. Illuminati.” – Dusty, 09:54).
• Dusty's Weekend: Emceeing at Alan Jackson’s "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" festival.
  • “I met Shenandoah. I met John Anderson...John Anderson's one of my all time favorites.” – Dusty (11:47–11:59)
  • Performed comedy between bands for a tough but memorable "rowdy crowd."
  • “I sang about half of Jack and Diane on stage. No one...I don't think anyone joined in...” – Dusty (17:31–18:02)

Memorable Quote

“When you do one of your jokes, that always works, and then it gets really no reaction, you go, I'm not gonna lose confidence in all these jokes right now.”
– Dusty Slay (19:28)

Discussion on Performing in Non-Ideal Environments

• Host reflections on outdoor gigs, rowdy festival crowds, and why comics dread audiences that are standing and/or between bands.

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3. Generational Debates & Cultural Commentary (29:22–36:00)

• Dusty and Brian’s debate on when "the decline" began in American culture.
  • “You think back in the day was the good old days and now everything's fallen…” – Brian (30:06)
  • “I think that a downfall began, and then now we—as we get older—it is getting worse all the time.” – Dusty (31:12)
• Musings on music, food quality, reporting, and crime stats.
  • “You think it was better back then?” – Brian
  • “Yeah, I think so. I mean…It's all the same.” – Dusty (33:41)

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4. Listener Comments & Candy Debates (23:40–38:10)

• Listener feedback about candy preferences: Heath Bar, Butterfinger BBs, Kit Kat vs. Twix vs. Snickers.
  • “Bring back Butterfinger BB. That could be a new name for you—Butterfinger Brian Bates!” – Dusty & Brian (35:51)
• On family nostalgia and the role of laughter in watching movies (Meet the Parents, Office Space, Neil Hamburger, etc.)
• Aliens: Are there benevolent alien abductions?
  • “Too bad we had to go back 75 years to find a positive [alien] story…” – Dusty (40:22–40:34)

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5. Introducing Stephen Bargatze (56:47–57:27)

• Stephen enters: “What an entrance. Wow. Magical. He just appeared weird.” – Dusty (56:55–56:58)
• Hosts preview his new magic special "Out in a Minute" and afterparty stories.

Talking About Audience Participation (58:04–62:15)

• Stephen explains how he scouts and chooses audience members (“I want somebody that doesn't…is not begging to get up there.”)
• Issues with overly eager/drunk participants and the challenge of unpredictable crowd work.
  • “Usually alcohol is the biggest problem, because when they get you and you don't know that they've had a little too much…” – Stephen (60:40)

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6. Best Pranks and Mischief (92:27–107:15)

• Legendary Prank: The Disappearing Door Knob
  • Stephen adds—not removes—a doorknob at his son's house, causing a “major marital fight” while they try to match the extra knob:

  “He was having kids go line up in front of doors. They were hauling it out. They numbered all the doors in the house, trying to find out where this extra door knob goes.”
  (93:54)

• Rubber Duck Mystery:
  • Numbers 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 10, 12 hidden—but only 7 ducks exist; family searches for “ducks” for years.
• Bed and Breakfast Switcheroo:
  • Unscrews bulbs, reverses remote batteries, swaps decorative items, numbers ducks out of order.
• Ketchup Bomb at Thanksgiving:
  • Baking soda in a brand-new ketchup bottle: “...when you turn that down…it's a volcano. It just comes out. You turn it this way, it shoots all your ketchup out and stuff.”
• Eyebrow-Nair Prank on Sister:
  • “She thought she had cancer. So my mother drew eyebrows on her with a pencil…” (100:43)
• Cast Iron Water Trap:
  • Old-school “water over the door,” but nearly injures his dad who “just walked right over and knocked me out. I thought I deserved that.” (102:02)
• Family tradition: Sowing pajamas legs together, ketchup-based shenanigans, and encouragement of mischief.

On Family & Magic

• Stephen’s long journey—from troubled youth to special ed to magic and stage work—shaped by a key drama teacher.
  • “She said, hey, you're funny. Would you dance in your underwear in front of everybody?...Look how life-changing…” (77:01)
• He and Nate share comedic DNA, pranking and timing, but different styles:

  “Nate's a little more dry humor, which is more from my wife and Derek…Abigail's more like me…but…our timing…I think if anything, Nathan learned that from me.” (116:08)

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7. Magic, Special Tapings, & Ethics (73:09–117:35)

• Philosophy of audience interaction: Instills trust (“I'm touching them…letting them know hey, I'm joking.”) (65:44)
• Reflections on live vs. video magic/comedy:
  • “Way better live.” – Stephen (70:05)
• Sleight-of-hand insight:
  • “All my magic is left handed…but anything a nun can see, right handed.”
• "I Hate Kids" Trick Evolution:
  • A single line (“That's way more fourth grade than you've ever had”) solved the tone, created bonding.

Magic Ethics & Belief

• “People want to believe...but I want to make sure people understand. Look, I'm just messing with you. We're just doing tricks. We're having fun.” (117:32)

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8. Pranks, Punk’d, and Impractical Jokers (108:54–113:35)

• Group consensus: Pranks are funniest/best when friends are the butt and everyone is “in on it.”
  • “I actually liked Impractical Jokers more…because it feels like they are always the butt of the joke.” – Aaron (108:54–109:11)
• On magic pranks where people think they’re invisible—old trick, but poignant story of guy who used “invisibility” to immediately start stealing.
• Hilarious home video prank:
  • Friend rigs his TV with a (fake) live camera of the bathroom to convince guests they were watched using the toilet.

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9. Fun Lightning Round & Quick Enders (117:35–123:36)

• Angels vs. aliens: “If there really are aliens, it doesn't change the Bible to me. Everything's the same.” – Stephen (117:44)
• Time-travel wishlist: Brian and Stephen debate ethical use (“Would you use time travel for good?…I’d probably just be a good old guy…but…”)
• Superpower: Would you rather be invisible (but only naked) or fly at running speed?
  • “It'd be like being invisible, but only with no clothes on...that's horrible!” – Stephen (119:29)
• Hosts sign off with upcoming show plugs. Abigail, Stephen’s daughter, is a frequent prank collaborator.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On picking audience volunteers:

“I want somebody that…is not begging to get up there. I want them to go, ah, I don’t know, and then her husband goes, oh, come on, you’ll do it. That’s my lady.” —Stephen Bargatze (58:04)

On the art of pranking:

“Instead of taking one [doorknob], I'll go back and add one...They were hauling out the doors, numbered all the doors in the house, trying to find out where this extra doorknob goes.” —Stephen (93:34)

On why prank/failure magic works:

"In my real act, my first three things, none of it worked...at the end everything worked. It was working the whole time, you just didn't know it."
—Stephen (84:25)

On family influence:

“The whole time you. You play that the joke is messed, the trick is messing up, and then you do it.” —Brian (84:22)

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Episode Takeaways

• Magic and pranks both depend on audience expectation, surprise, and trust.
• Pranking is a family tradition: From ketchup volcanos to “extra” door knobs and rubber ducks, the Bargatze family are masters of good-natured chaos.
• Stephen’s approach to magic is about service, misdirection, and molding the show to the human beings on stage.
• Live entertainment, whether standup or magic, relies heavily on the chemistry between performer and real people—often unscripted—making every show unique.
• The right prank is personal but not mean; it’s best when everyone ends up laughing—eventually.

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How to Watch:

Stephen Bargatze’s magic special, "Out in a Minute," drops June 18 at 4pm! Check online for platforms and further details.

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Upcoming Shows (Highlights):

• Dusty: Austin, TX at the Mothership.
• Brian: Hattiesburg, MS at the Sanger Theater.
• Aaron: Multiple Tennessee dates.
• Stephen: Arizona (after rotator cuff surgery), back on tour in August.

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“We’re having a good time.”
– Dusty Slay (Episode sign-off)

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This summary captures the tone, humor, stories, and memorable wisdom and gags from a classic "Public Figures" episode—no need to fear snakes, unscrewed lightbulbs, or missing doorknobs while you listen.

Transcript

[A]

Hey there. It's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway for you.

[B]

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[C]

Foreign.

[B]

Okay. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Public Figures podcast. My name is Dusty Slay. I'm one of their three hosts. As usual. Our other two hosts are Aaron Weber and. And Brian Bates.

[A]

Okay, all right.

[B]

All right.

[C]

And happy to be.

[B]

We're pumped to be here. It's a Wednesday for you. It's a Monday for us. The day of the week doesn't matter.

[A]

And yeah, we don't know when they're watching. They're listening to this.

[D]

Yeah. What time is it? About 4 o'. Clock.

[B]

Yeah, it could be any time. Well, you know. Yeah, this is. This lives on YouTube. This could be. You could be watching this in the year 2029 for all I know.

[D]

If you had the opt to not have to sleep, would you take it? Like, let's say you didn't need to get any kind of energy. You could stay up 24 hours a day. Would you want that?

[B]

Yeah, if I didn't have to, Yeah, I think I would.

[A]

I've raised this question before because. But then you'd lose out on just like escape. Some people use sleep for escape, but

[D]

everybody else has gone to sleep so you could escape during that time.

[B]

Those people are suffering from depression.

[A]

That's right. But look, we've all been through something bad and we're like, man, I just want to go sleep a while not to think about it.

[B]

It'd be tough to be a drinker and never sleep.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, wow. You never pass out.

[B]

Yeah. Or you never. You know, you just like, you drink all night and then you go, you know what? I'll just sit up and then I'll go to work in the morning.

[A]

You never enjoy that.

[D]

See you guys later. I gotta go have a sit. Yeah, and you just sit and stare out your front window.

[A]

You would never get to enjoy the rel. Relaxing feeling of a good nap or even a good night's sleep. When you wake up, there's something about

[D]

just sitting down that's funny. Just sit. You know those old men that just Sit and don't do anything.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[C]

They're gone.

[D]

Yeah, I bet. Whittling. I bet. So, like, what do you think? Percentage of people that whittle now, it's got it gone down by virtually zero. 90, I would say. I think every old man whittled back in the day.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Because you're sitting and you got nothing to do.

[B]

Well, yeah. No phones. And it's like the phones are destroying our lives.

[D]

They are.

[B]

And now they're building data centers everywhere. It's like, what are we even doing with these things?

[D]

Building run right next to the zoo.

[B]

Yeah, I think, you know. But then, you know, like, they put out these. Some celebrities put out videos. I'm not going to say their names, but they were like, they go build it somewhere else. We don't need it here. And I'm like, how about don't build it at all?

[D]

Yeah. What's a better place?

[B]

Yeah, it's like, oh. Oh. We got a lot going on here in the city. Once you put it out in the country with those hillbillies.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Where Dusty lives.

[B]

Build it somewhere else. Not around me, of course.

[D]

Of course.

[A]

But there's all these things now, sensory things to help people just kind of relax. Whittling would be the perfect.

[D]

It would be great for that. It would be great. Just give everybody a knife. See what happens if you didn't need food.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

Everybody should have a knife.

[A]

Should be required.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever go to a place and they're like, you can't bring your knife in here. I go, what? Yeah, well, have a spot. Have a locker for me to put it in.

[D]

The airport.

[B]

Yeah, the airport or. Or the Ryman.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or the opera. Can't bring a knife in here. Who's your clientele? Your clientele all carries knives.

[D]

It's 80 of the places Dusty goes. Yeah.

[B]

Like, yeah, you can't bring your knife. And what do you think I'm gonna do with a knife?

[A]

You go hide it outside.

[D]

I'm just trying to whittle.

[B]

Right. You think I'm gonna do. Yeah, I'm stab some in the ryman, but not in the street.

[A]

God.

[B]

So crazy.

[A]

If you didn't need food.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

You could live without food.

[B]

You can live without food probably for a while. People fast for a really long time.

[D]

I could. Longer than. Longer than y'. All.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. For this purpose of this, you never needed food again. So you never have to spend money on food. You never have to.

[B]

Like, man does not live by bread alone.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I don't think I'm gonna get through this.

[C]

No, finish it.

[D]

I want to hear about this.

[A]

You never have to spend money on food again. You never have to stop what you're doing because you're hungry.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And you can just live healthy without food. But you never enjoy food. You would never. Food wouldn't taste good to you. Your friends go out for a meal, you're not gonna enjoy it. Would you do it?

[D]

I could still go hang with people while they eat. Can I drink still? Is it just eating?

[A]

Yeah, I guess you could drink.

[D]

Oh, man.

[B]

Yeah, I'll take a smoothie.

[D]

I don't know. It sounds like not an ideal scenario.

[B]

I think.

[D]

I think I'd stay the way I am.

[B]

Ecclesiastes says to drink, eat and be merry. So it's like those things are like. Yeah. This is something that, you know.

[D]

Well, my aunt says to live, laugh, love. Yeah.

[A]

So.

[B]

But it's like these are things that make our lives, you know, enjoyable. Being able to eat and drink and take a nap and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The rest is.

[D]

Take a nap is part of that.

[B]

I think it is everything.

[A]

There's a season.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

There's all these things make our lives pleasurable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like good, healthy pleasures. There's plenty of unhealthy pleasures out here that. Let's dig into those that destroy your life. You know what I mean?

[D]

And that's the topic of today's episode, everybody. Unhealthy pleasures. Dusty, you're going to lead this one.

[B]

Well, listen, guys, this weekend Brian was in Lowell, Arkansas, at the Grove.

[D]

Oh, Lowell.

[B]

How was it?

[A]

I had a great time. Well, first I was in Topeka, Kansas.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

On Thursday at the Beacon doing a show for wonderful organization called Lifeline Children's Services. They helped unwanted pregnancies, they helped them find adoptions, they help with foster care, they help orphanages in other countries. I'm wearing their shirt. It's a wonderful organization. Started in Birmingham, but now they're in all 50 states.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

So shout out.

[D]

That's great.

[B]

Why does is it on a piece of fruit?

[A]

I don't know. And I knew you would ask and I try to find out.

[B]

Like Lifeline, maybe It's food. It goes back to what you're saying. They need life.

[A]

There's a Bible verse on the back of the shirt. It's Old Testament. You'd like it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And is it a lemon? Is that what fruit is? Are they saying no child is a lemon?

[B]

Could be, yeah. Although I love lemons.

[D]

Well, anyway, you could interpret it a million different ways. I think that's great, though.

[A]

But they're a wonderful organization. Glad to do the show for them because they paid me.

[B]

But you would have did it for free?

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Yeah. It's on the way to Lowell.

[A]

Yeah. I would have went to Topeka on Thursday just to help them out. Then I was in. Yeah. Then I went to the Grove in Lowell, Arkansas, in two nights.

[D]

It's been a long time coming. Dusty went to the club when it first started. I've been going for a while.

[B]

I went to the club when it was in an old location.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

How long do you think that club's been there?

[D]

12 years now, maybe.

[A]

Okay, that's what I was thinking, because

[B]

I don't think that long.

[D]

No, maybe I'm giving me less than that. Maybe nine years.

[B]

I'm going to say eight.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Do you know the answer?

[A]

I don't, but. But Adam.

[D]

Glad we guessed.

[A]

Adam Bush, who opened for me, said, his best shows you've ever had.

[D]

I love that joke.

[A]

He was talking about Bill and who runs, you know, and. And. And I said, you know, I don't think Bill's even been in the business that long. I feel like that club's been there 10 or 12 years is what I guess. And that's his first dip into comedy. Right. He's just a successful businessman.

[B]

Yeah, allegedly.

[C]

Yeah. We don't.

[A]

We haven't seen books. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But anyway.

[D]

But he's a guy, a friend of ours from northwest Arkansas who started. Just a big comedy fan, started a club, and it's just been growing and getting better every year.

[B]

So I did the last show at the old location, and me and Hannah drove there, my wife, and we didn't know, you know, really what I was even getting into. I just got booked by a guy, the booker had already, like, stopped booking for him by the time I showed it. He booked me, and then he was no longer the booker, so now I'm communicating with Bill, who I don't know. And then the club shutting down after that. He fed us so well the whole time.

[D]

Right.

[B]

And then when we leave, he go. He's, like, emptying the cooler, I guess. So he's given us. There was another guy, Bryce. Oh, jeez. Now, Bryce, I can't think of his last name now, but now he's a comic in the area, and I'm sorry, I can't think of his last name. But he. He was staying with us at the cabin and he drank. We. You know, we didn't Drink, but he gave us beer. And then he started giving us steaks. And we were like, who is this guy? We were like, this guy's in the Illuminati. That's what we used to say about Bill, because he was just throwing stuff at us. Yeah.

[A]

My first impression of him was you and Dan Whitehurst would tell stories. I think you did it. Dan certainly did. He'd come in his airplane to Nashville and pick Dan up and fly him.

[B]

Yeah, I did it twice with him. Yeah, yeah, he.

[D]

He flew.

[B]

I got a video about it.

[D]

He flew planes in the military for a long time, and now he's, you know, just flying planes on his own.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So he. He would come and pick comics up and take them out there. So it's an interesting and fun gig to get to work that club. So I'm glad he finally got up there. Brian, how the shows go?

[A]

Shows were great. I've been hearing about it, like you said, forever. You guys all go? I finally got to go. A lot of folks came out and. Yeah. Nothing really like, no wild stories to share, just.

[B]

You didn't stay at the cabin, though. That's too bad.

[A]

No, did not stay at the cabin. Flew out of the airport there. They got a. The airport's bigger than I expected.

[D]

The Fayetteville airport.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's called the Northwest.

[D]

Okay. Nwa.

[A]

Nwa? Yeah, it's. It's a little bit bigger than I expect. I mean, it's not big, but they got United Delta.

[D]

They're really doing it. They're really doing it. They got allegiant now. Gosh, things are coming together, man.

[A]

There's a direct flight to Nashville.

[D]

Oh, that's pretty nice. Yeah.

[B]

Good.

[C]

Dude. What about.

[A]

Had a good time.

[D]

That's great. What about you, Dusty? What'd you do?

[B]

You know what I did? I went down to West Palm beach and I did the Alan Jackson's it's five O' Clock Somewhere Festival.

[D]

Festival. So was it. Was it all weekend?

[B]

You were there two days.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And a lot of bands and I did some comedy.

[D]

Were you the only comedian?

[B]

I was the only. Well, there was a local comedian.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

He did a different stage.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And we did a thing together one time. Had a. You know, people would go out into the audience and try to fill a tackle box with random things from the audience and then judge their tackle box.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

But it was fun. I met Shenandoah. I met John Anderson.

[D]

Yeah, that was big for you, right?

[B]

Oh, man, I love John. I love Shenandoah, too. But John Anderson's one of my all time favorites those years.

[D]

Yeah. Great. So do you play that song like that one?

[B]

Oh, man. The great thing about John Anderson, he came out just him and another old man. The old man. They're both old.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And the old man played guitar and John Anderson played guitar and he just. They just both sat there and sang and it was so great.

[D]

Oh, that's nice.

[B]

He just. His voice is great. The old man, like had that, you know, kind of a steel. The guitar, but then he flipped it over, you know, and kind of played steel guitar on it. And I don't know what that's called, but it's pretty flat top. Like a dobro, maybe?

[D]

Yeah, something like that. 71 years old. He's in the Nashville Songwriters hall of Fame and the Country Music hall of Fame.

[B]

So he did, you know Old Chunk of Coal by Billy Joe Shaver? He did Seminole Win Strength, Tequila Night. Money in the bank Always get a hard time. He didn't do money in the.

[A]

Just a swinging.

[B]

Just a swinging black sheep of the family.

[A]

Yeah. You sent us a picture of you and him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And then I got in the car with Adam. He goes, dusty just sent me a picture of him and John Anderson. I'm like, yeah, I guess he's sent it to everybody.

[D]

I didn't get it, if that means anything.

[A]

I thought you sent it to the group.

[B]

I think I did.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

You just don't know what he looks like.

[A]

I was like, man, John Anderson's looking rough. Actually, Dusty,

[B]

but it was very hot. I met Old Dominion. I saw Ella Langley from. You know, she was heavily protected, I'm sure.

[A]

From you.

[D]

From everybody but a couple of members

[B]

of her band, you know, because these are all Nashville people for the most part. So a couple members of the band Bend Zany's. And they were. We took some pictures together.

[D]

All right.

[B]

I met the Coral Reefer Band. That's Jimmy Buffett's band.

[D]

All right.

[B]

And then Mac McNally, I believe he wrote Margaritaville and he wrote lots of

[A]

other songs, but Alan Jackson was not there.

[B]

Alan Jackson wasn't there.

[A]

I don't understand how. It's his festival. He can't be there.

[B]

I, you know, I'm betting he didn't even have anything to do with.

[D]

Does he even know it happened?

[B]

Yeah. And then another band, they have to. Legally, they have to. They go, their. Their name is Jammy Buffet. And it's. But they're like Jam Band that covers

[D]

Jimmy Buffett song and Phoebe Buffet.

[B]

Yeah. So they were great.

[A]

Smelly Cat.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And.

[B]

Oh, Rodney Atkins, you know.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Who was the guy you were sitting down talking to?

[B]

That's Rodney Atkins.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's. Well, he. I interviewed a bunch of these people. I hung out with Clint Black a little bit on the tour bus.

[D]

You interviewed them officially, like, for the festival?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Just the love of the game. We walk around.

[B]

Well, John Anderson, his. They said his team declined the interview, but I, you know, bombarded him backstage and just. Well, I wanted to shake his hand. He's got so many great songs.

[D]

You bypass the team. That's the way to do it.

[B]

But then when John Anderson left, he was driving. He's driving a. A black Wagoneer, and he was driving himself. And I love that. Yeah, I love that. John Anderson's like, yeah, I'll just drive down there and do this.

[A]

What's his license plate number?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Drives a black Wagoneer.

[B]

But it was just cool, like. Well, I didn't want to imply that he was driving a crappy car.

[D]

Right, right.

[B]

But he was driving himself, and I loved it. I was like, that's what I'm talking about.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's 71. Good for him, man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's awesome.

[D]

Well, I was in Florida as well, Dusty. I was down in Navarre Beach, Florida. My parents were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. So for the first time in years, the whole family was together.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Sorry.

[D]

Gotta let them go.

[B]

Okay. Like, year. He said years. First time in John Anderson. Everybody knows you guys. It's one of the newer ones. It's very good, though. Yeah, Sorry, go ahead.

[D]

So for the first time in years, we were all under the same roof for a full weekend. My mom, my dad, me and all my siblings, and all of our kids in one house. So we had 10 kids, all under the age of 11. Wow.

[A]

Crutches.

[D]

Everybody was. Actually, only one was on crutches this time.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

One had just sprained her ankle, but it was. Dude, that many kids in that. In one house, it gets. It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. There's a big difference between one kid and 10 kids.

[B]

Yeah, big difference in one and three, I can tell you that.

[D]

Yeah. So one in 10 is wild.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So we were right on the beach, which is great. If you're watching, you can see I don't have a tan. I didn't get out there that much at all. I wonder if the beach will be a little more fun for me when Olive's a little older. She can. She can't really do much at the beach right now. You just sit her down and then, you know, it's hot out, she gets overheated, and I just take her back.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Sit in the air conditioning.

[B]

I do love air conditioning in Florida. You get out. I got. I was out all day, but they had air conditioned tents. So you go sit in there for a little while and then get back at it.

[D]

Air conditioned tents?

[B]

Well, they were big tent.

[D]

Oh, okay. Not just like. I'm thinking, just like a family had one at the beach. No, no, that'd be pretty nice.

[B]

I forgot to say this during my set is thousands of people out there. Outdoor event. My set was in the middle of the day, so you can imagine how that goes. People are not really paying that much.

[D]

Standing up.

[B]

Standing up. So I go out there, I got 20 minutes. I tell one joke. Doesn't really get much of a reaction. I go, okay, so that's what this is going to. So I just kind of start riffing with the audience and then I do my John Mellencamp joke and it doesn't do very well. And then I go. I go, kathy would hate this. I go, you know what, guys? You guys know this song. Let's just sing it together. And I started singing. I sang about half of Jack and Diane on stage. No one. I don't think anyone joined in, but I. I just.

[A]

Were you doing this with the mic?

[B]

No, no, I just kept singing, though,

[D]

and not even commenting on it. Just like.

[B]

Just singing. Yeah, come on, guys, get in. You know, I go, if you sing along, you can't hear me. And are you between bands?

[D]

Is that with the setup between bands?

[B]

But also, like, they were long breaks in between the band. It wasn't like, you know, the band's

[D]

not setting up behind you as you're up there.

[B]

They are doing. But I got this little catwalk that I. Oh, okay. Oh, nice deep out in there.

[D]

So you're kind of in the round.

[B]

Yeah. I mean. And I was selling merch and there were people with my hats on out there. So I had fans. It wasn't. But it was just a. A rowdy. It's just not a good environment for Joe.

[D]

No.

[B]

And so I was like, who has the best hat? You know, I was doing stuff like that. And it got a little dirty, honestly, because people had some pretty crude hats.

[C]

And.

[B]

And then, you know, there were some kids out there, but

[A]

took a turn.

[B]

Yeah. But it was fun. I. I loved it. Like, couple. You know, that was Friday, and then Saturday, people would see me and they'd go, oh, man, it was a tough crowd yesterday. And I go, I had a great time, guys. I had a great time.

[D]

But you knew what they meant.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't know what they meant because you just go out, you know, it's like when you do enough gigs, you. You go, all right, I know what this is gonna be.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm still gonna try the jokes. I still had a set list. But when you do one of your jokes, that always works, and then it gets really no reaction.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You go, I'm not gonna lose confidence in all these jokes right now.

[D]

I'm not gonna cast these pearls before Swan.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, let's just sing Jack and Diane.

[B]

I got into it. I had a good time.

[A]

Yeah. I think you've probably gotten to a place where. And you may have always been like this, where it doesn't affect you enough to. You'll. If you'll do a bad gig, if the money's right, at least.

[B]

And you'll be fine with it as long as you. You know, you gotta make sure you sandwich them in between gigs where it's going. Well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Too many in a row, you can lose confidence.

[D]

It's so funny, because the first question I ask now for corporate stuff is, will they be sitting down?

[B]

Yeah. Because even I don't like to watch comedy standing. You know, like Jack. Jack White's room. I saw a comedy show there when I first moved here. It was like Dimitri Martin, who I really liked at the time, and it was standing, and I go, I hate this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I hate every second everybody's trying to

[D]

look at the painting.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I hated it. The. But this weekend, I'll be in Austin at the Mothership.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

That's gonna be exciting.

[D]

To go from that to a perfectly designed room. Yeah, it's going to be much different.

[B]

Pumped about that.

[D]

He's still going to sing half of Jack and Diane. I mean, we'll see what happens.

[B]

That's the most people I've ever sang in front of. Now I want to do a thing. I want to. I want to see if the opera will let me do it.

[D]

This is how it starts, man. This is how it started.

[A]

It's already starting.

[B]

I want to see if the opera will let me do this. Where. Where I go, like, they don't necessarily introduce me as a comedian, and then I. And sing a song and see how polite the audience is about it.

[D]

Dude, I think they'll be polite, but I feel like you need to tell them you're a comedian.

[B]

I want to say they bring you

[D]

out as a musician.

[B]

That's what I want them to do.

[D]

People would be upset.

[B]

Bring me out as a musician and then I go, you know, 30 seconds of the song and then go, nah, I'm just kidding.

[D]

You log off Facebook, there'd be a hundred comments. The opera used to be so great.

[B]

I said that to one of the backstage or, you know, stage musicians one time. I go, I'm gonna do that and. And see how long. He goes, oh, it happens all the time. I guess he's saying bad people come across the stage all the time. They're not. But obviously not all bad. Yeah, there are bad musicians that come

[D]

across the stage, but they usually have a band playing behind them. That sounds pretty good.

[B]

But I. I also maybe could get the band to do it. Get the band to join in with me.

[C]

You won't.

[D]

In two years, you won't be doing Stand up. You' singing, singing and doing.

[A]

Writing AI songs.

[B]

That would be the dream. That's what I've always wanted to do.

[C]

I've.

[B]

Now I'm writing AI songs and I go, I bet I could just. Now that AI has written this.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll just sing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And put it on.

[A]

That's where I thought we were headed the whole time. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think I'm going to do that

[D]

at the Grand Old Opry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Put out an album and then I'll do a podcast with Post Bl. He's complaining about these new country singers.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, I wish you luck, man.

[B]

Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's a natural transition for me.

[A]

I had no idea how much I was spending on dining out until Rocket Bunny showed me the numbers. It was honestly way more than I expected. And seeing it all in one place helped me cut back.

[B]

How much was it?

[A]

Oh, I don't even want to say. I'm embarrassed to say it was so much, but it was so helpful when you can see what you're spending and in what categories. Plus, Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app. Within With a few taps saving users over $880 million in cancel subscriptions, you can set budgets and goals, get personalized personalized insights and regular reports, and receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. And here's the thing. Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app. It helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow Your savings. Let rocket money help you reach your financial goals fast. Try for zero dollars.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

@RocketMoney.com Nate that's RocketMoney.com Nate. RocketMoney.com Nate, you want to start off with these comments?

[B]

Yeah, let's get into them. These comments come From Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and [e-mail] Speaking of Twitter, I'm on there a lot, and gosh, that's fun.

[A]

That's the only reason I stay on is because of you.

[B]

It's my most fun social media now.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I'm just commenting, and I love it. Okay. MLE of Stonetown. That's what this name is. This was a great episode. Aaron's deep voice description of the flower book, combined with Dusty's and Brian's reactions made me laugh. And even though I find things funny, I'm not typically a laugher. But y' all really got me today. Thank you for giving us an opportunity to laugh.

[D]

I don't remember what.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

MLE is talking about flowers of Algerine.

[D]

Flowers for Algernon.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Very sad book. Did you read it over the weekend?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Thanks.

[B]

Gosh, that's sad. I couldn't believe you brought it up on the podcast.

[D]

When was the last time you watched a movie by yourself and you laughed out loud?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I re. Watched recently on a plane. Meet the Parents.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And there were some scenes in that where I'm not, like, laughing. The point where people around me are looking.

[D]

But you were laughing out loud on the plane. The headphones on.

[A]

I'm laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

A little chuckle.

[A]

Little chuckle here.

[D]

A little guffaw.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[A]

There's some very funny. I'm trying to. I feel like I'm having to fit in that movie.

[D]

No, it is a. It is a funny movie. I'm just. I'm just thinking if. If. If your buddy was with you, you'd be laugh so much more. I don't know what that is about. Laughter. I don't know the science behind it.

[A]

I remember being on a plane and watching Office Space.

[D]

Very funny movie.

[A]

But I think me and my buddy were both watching on our. And I was laughing so much. Like, I had to, like, calm down a little bit.

[D]

That's great.

[B]

I was on an airplane listening to a Neil Hamburger album, and it was really making me laugh.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Just headphones on, like, two months listening.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I saw a Disclosure day this weekend.

[D]

Okay. Was it good?

[A]

Made me question everything about my Family

[D]

made you question all your beliefs.

[A]

Yep, yep. It was. It was fine. Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

They said it was Steven Spielberg's best

[D]

movie in 10 years since Saving Private Ryan.

[A]

I heard it must been nearly 30 years. Do you remember what the. Yeah, do you remember what the Last one they. 10 years ago?

[D]

No, but War of the Worlds.

[A]

Because they didn't get.

[D]

Is that 20 years ago?

[A]

Yeah, it's probably 20.

[B]

I realized that the War Horse, the first episode, season one, episode one of Colombo, was directed by Steven Spielberg.

[A]

Really?

[B]

The old. That's why Colombo is so great. All the old Colombos have great directors and it's like a mini movies and they're very good.

[A]

It's very interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What year was that?

[B]

70s.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Long time ago.

[A]

Because Close Encounters was one of his first movies. I think that was like 77.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

He's old man. Yeah, the old man.

[B]

All right, here comes another Ashley ship. I love how much Dusty la. Oh, gosh. I love to see how much Dusty loved all my old jams. Nelly Usher, Linkin Park, Kenny Chesney. Ah, the early 2000s was a good time. Yes, it was. I mean, late 90s, early 2000s. I mean. Yeah. I mean, man, I was crushing. Nelly Usher really only had one or two songs that I liked. Linkin Park. I jammed that album so much. Kenny Chesney, unbelievable. All up until she thinks my tractor sexy. He lost me there. But now I go back in time and listen to that song and I go, that's a good song. Because I feel like listening to it. You think that he's out farming and some girl comes along and just finds him attractive on the tractor.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

But when you think about it. Well, maybe he's married to her.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Or dating her and she just finds him attractive on the tractor.

[D]

Right. I don't think it's actually about tractors.

[B]

Maybe not, but, you know, I'm not.

[D]

Maybe it is. Maybe it is.

[A]

What's it about?

[D]

I think it's, you know, thinly veiled euphemism.

[B]

She's always staring at me while I'm chugging along.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

Sucking on chili dog.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I get what you're saying, but I like Kenny Chesney.

[A]

I've never liked that song.

[D]

I didn't know this. I thought this. This is not a conspiracy. I think that's what it is. Well, I. Crazy.

[B]

Most of the things that I say are not conspiracies either.

[A]

You think everything's.

[D]

No, what I'm saying. I don't think this is a hot take or I didn't think I was.

[B]

She comes out. I'm on my tractor and she comes out with a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea. Like, what's. I don't know what you're doing in your bedroom, but

[A]

Aaron, what do you. What's going on?

[D]

I might be getting this confused with Take you for my big green trackpot.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. That's a much different song.

[B]

I think so.

[D]

Okay, I'm sorry about that. Sorry about that, everybody. Kenny, Chessy, I didn't mean to disrespect you like that.

[B]

Now, it could be still something like that, but I just, you know, I. I just view it differently now and I think it's a good song. And I think.

[A]

I think Aaron just has a dirty mind, I think.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, probably everyone does. Yeah. It's a dark. It's a fallen world. Okay, the next one is Cole Sloth. The decision to cover the early 2000s year by year is going to turn out to be a fascinating study at how everything devolved from that time period in terms of entertainment, mental health, food, morality, etc, everything begin to go downhill.

[D]

Well, Coleslaw, if you know the podcast, you know, we're not going to talk about those things. We're going to talk about all the good stuff and what brings us together. That's what we do here on the Public Figures podcast.

[B]

I will say Cole gets it, though.

[A]

I mean, I thought that's Dusty. Has to be Coleslaw.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, this guy gets it.

[A]

Don't you think, though? Throughout the history of time, there have been people like Dusty and Coleslaw who thinks back in the day was the good old days and now everything's fallen

[D]

to Dusty and Coleslaw. Sounds like Dusty is like using a puppet on stage. You're a ventriloquist. Stuffy.

[A]

Shotgun Red.

[D]

Dusty. Hey, everybody, I'm Coleslaw. How's it hanging, Dusty?

[B]

We built a great country, right? So it's going. It's building, building, building, building. And we get way up here and what a great country it is. And then the downfall begins. And it's still so good that it really takes a while to notice how much it's falling.

[D]

It's like a roller coaster. That's the most exciting part of the ride.

[A]

What I'm saying, though, is every generation throughout history has thought.

[B]

I don't think throughout history is what I'm saying. I think there was a point where it was always getting better.

[A]

I know it. But that's your opinion. And I'm saying there's always, throughout history, your opinion. There has been people.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

I don't think you're getting what I'm saying.

[B]

I am.

[A]

I think you're so dumb that you only live in your little world.

[B]

You're saying that every generation thinks everything's going downhill.

[A]

Once they get a certain age, they reminisce about the good old, the music, the entertainment.

[B]

See, I don't think so, though. I mean, I think that a downfall began, and then now we. As we get older, it is getting worse all the time. So we notice it. Like, you know, they were like, people used to say that about Elvis, you know, oh, he's Dan. He's gyrating his hips on stage. And it's like, oh, yeah, that's bad. And it's like, but. But look how much worse it is now.

[A]

When do you think it hit its Peak?

[D]

Woodstock 99. Limp Bizkit.

[C]

That's.

[A]

When you go back.

[B]

I think that there's something to that. Woodstock, I mean, 99. I mean, that's.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, I'm so wrong.

[C]

Then.

[A]

It just happened to be the peak of our nation was right when you were getting out of high school. Well, I mean, like, every Saturday night.

[B]

No, no. I think it started to go down in the 60s.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

That's what I. Morality really dipped.

[D]

So you're blaming Brian.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And his people.

[B]

Yeah, because it's like, you know, we used to be, like, people would, like, really cook and they would grow food, and it would be. You know, it was hard work. But then this era of convenience came in where we started getting all these canned goods, and everybody was like, oh, this is easy. And then we started having a lot of time on our hands. You know what to say about idle

[D]

hands, the devil's play things.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So where did that come from? I don't know what a weird saying that is.

[B]

It's probably true, though.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I mean, I see what you're saying, Brian, but I've given this a lot of thought.

[A]

I have as well, and I think you're wrong.

[B]

Well, I'm kind of proved my point.

[D]

We've reached a classic impasse here on the podcast.

[B]

I don't even know that I'm saying you're wrong, but I just. I just think that we can all. Because I've always kind of felt like, oh, man, things are.

[A]

You just got through saying how those were the good old days.

[B]

I said, those were good songs. I mean, it was good. It was A. But more morality wise. All that, all of that music is bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I mean, come on.

[D]

We've been pretty bad.

[A]

Was food better back then?

[B]

Yeah, I think so. I mean, I go to a rest. I don't even like going to restaurants now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I walked by.

[B]

I was in West Palm Beach. I walked by so many restaurants on my way to the grocery store to get food because I'm like, I don't even. It's all the same.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You think it was better back then?

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure it probably was. As far as. You mean ingredients and stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Speaking of good ingredients, I'm pretty excited to read the next comment here.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm not done. Aaron. I think. I think your kids will look back this and, oh, these are the good old days.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, because it'll be so much worse by the time they get older that it, it will appear that it was the good old days of their life. Because when it's always getting worse, the past is always better.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. You know, we hit a record low crime rate last year.

[B]

Record low reporting record. I shouldn't say crime rate, murder rate, record low arrest.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. All right.

[B]

Okay. Erica. Zach Zewski.

[C]

It was.

[B]

I would venture to guess no one has ever gotten that name right.

[C]

No.

[D]

On the first try.

[B]

No. Couldn't agree more with Aaron's take on the Heath bar. Definitely underrated. Also, bring back Butterfinger BB I'm not

[D]

as moved by the call for Butterfinger BB Though I do remember them. I remember them fondly.

[B]

But you remember Whopper.

[D]

Not something I missed.

[B]

The candy Whoppers, they're not around anymore. I think they are, but only like at the movie.

[D]

The malted milk balls. That kind of thing.

[B]

I used to buy. My mom would buy me like the big milk carton of them.

[D]

I was a Junior Mint guy if I had to pick. Yeah. Philly, if you got Whoppers around. Junior Mints are close by. Right.

[B]

We never were a minty family.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Maybe a Peppermint Patty here and there.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It wasn't a decision we made as a family. It was just something I liked.

[B]

I think it is, though. You know, you may not be conscious of it, but you say, you know what, let's get some family, get some Junior Mans up in this place.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If I ever get fired from this podcast.

[D]

It's coming.

[A]

Yeah. I'm going to try to get this comment put back in. Bring back Butterfinger BB that could be

[B]

a new name for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Butterfinger. Brian Bates.

[A]

That's why I was. That was the joke.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Let's bring back.

[D]

Let's move on.

[B]

You're pretty into moving along

[A]

where you gotta go, Aaron.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you got something going on. All right, Jennifer Wiley Wright.

[D]

I got nothing going on.

[B]

Dusty, are you a madman? When it comes to a Kit Kat?

[D]

Yep.

[B]

They are the best candy bars on the market. Besides the Twix. This guy likes or this girl likes

[D]

things that come in too.

[B]

Yeah. Snickers are way overrated and unnecessary.

[D]

Unnecessary. It's all unnecessary.

[B]

Thanks for another great episode.

[A]

I agree with Jennifer.

[D]

Yeah. KitKat serves a role in this country. You like Snickers is completely un.

[B]

I said Twix may be my second favorite. I like a Twix. But KitKat. I'm not saying I don't like a KitKat. I'll eat it.

[C]

It.

[B]

But that's kind of. It's.

[D]

You ever have the. The Kit Kat churro?

[B]

No.

[D]

Flavored.

[A]

Where's that at?

[D]

Kit Kat is taking some swings out here, man. The white chocolate I already talked about. But then we got chocolate frosted donut, mint and dark chocolate, raspberry cream, lemon crisps, churro birthday cake.

[B]

Let me ask you this.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You ever had a Snickers ice cream bar?

[D]

Yeah. Yes.

[A]

Who are you talking to?

[D]

Is that a rhetorical question?

[B]

Well, sort of.

[A]

Put. Put today on the end of that sentence.

[B]

That's. That's a good ice cream bar.

[D]

Yeah, it is good. Except I'm not saying the Snickers is bad.

[B]

You know, those ice cream, though, it's not something going on with like you take an ice cream sandwich and you put it in the sink at night and you go, I'm done with this.

[D]

It doesn't melt.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You wake up in the morning, it's still there.

[D]

Did I tell you I drank a Celsius when I drove into the airport and I parked and I drank about half of it and left it in my car. Three days later I got back, still carbonated.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

That's probably not good, right?

[B]

Probably not.

[D]

And I drank it. The rest of it.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I would do it too.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But you leave a Diet Coke out for 30 seconds, it goes flat.

[B]

Yeah. Because they make a quality product.

[D]

That's right. Coke has nothing fishy going on.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Coca Cola company.

[B]

All right, here we go. Moving along. Next comment comes from Angie Sickler.

[D]

Great name, Aaron.

[B]

And Brian. Dot, dot, dot. Think about it. Okay.

[D]

Dusty, sit this one out.

[B]

If the aliens were benevolent, why don't we have Any positive stories about alien product abductions? I've never heard of an abductee who said they brought me to their spaceship just to party with them and then they showered me with gifts because their. They're super nice. No, never.

[A]

Wow. I do think there are some stories though of benevolent. Not exactly partying and giving you gifts, but people who've said they've been brought on and they said, don't worry, we come in peace. They speak English, maybe through telepathically.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know, but. Oh, I think there are stories out there of people that said they had positive experiences being abducted.

[B]

I wish that if you were going to come with that information after putting that comment on, you would have found one of those to read to us.

[A]

Well, I thought I'd give Aaron something to do.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

I mean, he just sits here all.

[B]

But he's going to want to move along before he finds it. I mean, I just think, well, let's hear a positive one. Like what, what happened? They got up there and they were like, listen, we do got to mess around with you because that's, that's what we do. That's our quest. But we're gonna, we're gonna be cool about it.

[A]

You know, we'll hang out afterwards.

[B]

Yeah. How do you want us to do it? We do have to take things from you.

[D]

But check it out. 1954, Mexican businessman Armando Zuberan detailed a six day experience where he lived harmoniously aboard extraterrestrial crafts. And you just want to take a week off?

[C]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[D]

He said he had ethereal, gentle dialogue, telepathic communication where the beings imparted complex geometric images, quantum concepts and profound wisdom directly into his mind. That sounds pretty nice.

[B]

It does sound nice.

[D]

And he had a profound sense of serenity, interconnectedness with the universe in a deep, lasting feeling of enlightenment.

[B]

Too bad we had to go back 75 years to find a positive.

[A]

Those are the good old days.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Now these aliens out here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Doing all kinds of stuff.

[B]

Well, I guess it's collapsing in the whole universe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, here's the next one. Jack Rickens. Think it's Rickens or Richens.

[A]

I'd say Richards.

[B]

What do you think, Aaron?

[D]

Rickens.

[B]

Rickens. I think Rickens.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Bates continuing to mock Aaron's Randy Newman impressions has to be the most ironically delusional thing ever on the show. I think Brian should do an impression from the top grossing film every year for the rest of the 2000s.

[A]

I don't even think I've mocked your Randy Newman.

[B]

I don't even know what this guy's talking about.

[A]

There was one time where you thought

[D]

I was doing a Tony Shalhoub impression.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I thought it was Monk. I'm like, that's the same impression.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. It's terrible.

[A]

And then last week, I mentioned it in a joking way when you're talking about calling your bank and they know your voice. I said, you should have been Randy Newman.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[A]

I wasn't.

[B]

It's ironically delusional, though.

[A]

But I appreciate, because I think I'm good at impression.

[D]

Yeah. Either way, I appreciate Jack having my back.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think that you think you're good at impressions.

[A]

I don't really, but that's the joke

[B]

I like to play because I always thought that it was a joke.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Of course, that would be delusional if I thought I was actually good.

[B]

I think Jack reckons needs to check himself.

[A]

Yeah. I'll do a Lord of the Rings.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

This is 2002 and 2003.

[B]

You doing

[A]

Gandalf?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is he the wizard?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, he's the wizard.

[A]

Let's make sure. I'm doing.

[B]

You shall not pass. That is good. Wow.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Jack is crazy.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

To think that you're not.

[A]

He would do the wizard as Randy Newman.

[B]

Yeah. You shall not, not pass. Yeah.

[D]

Somebody said that to me. I go, I'm gonna pass. If that's the guy yelling, I'm. I'm gonna go ahead and pass. Why don't you get out of the way?

[A]

But did I get the line right?

[D]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Amanda. Surgeons. Brian, I can no longer eat popcorn due to a similar issue with the Colonels. Oh, gosh. Rip. The best movie snack in my life. This episode had me laughing out loud and looking a little crazy while driving to work. Dusty's story about GGW was hilarious. It is funny. I think what you guys got to do is you guys just got to chew it up. You really gotta chew.

[D]

You really gotta chew.

[A]

I had some popcorn at the. At the movie that I went to.

[B]

You really gotta chew and you. Okay.

[D]

And how'd it go? Everything okay?

[A]

Everything's great.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Is it possible you'll find something later? Like, it might take a while.

[A]

It could.

[D]

Something gets kicked, backed up, gets locked

[B]

in, little acid reflux.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Where'd that say come from?

[D]

You never know.

[A]

You never know.

[D]

I saw a tick tock or tweet or my dad told me. I don't know. Somewhere where you. However much you think you gotta chew, you should chew like twice as much.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[D]

I tried doing that and I thought this is not worth it. We.

[B]

We. Yeah. I mean, I eat too fast for all that chewing and I like to

[D]

try to chew as little as possible.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Just, just, just to challenge myself.

[B]

You know, they say that our teeth are. All our teeth and our taste buds and our tongue, it's all sending signals to our body digestive system to let it get ready for what's coming down.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And then we're aiding the digestive system by the saliva on the food.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

And then helping break it down before it reaches our stomachs.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So that food doesn't go down like partially chewed and ferment.

[C]

Right.

[B]

In our stomach stomachs.

[D]

So I believe it.

[A]

So, yeah, I think almost all of us eat too fast.

[B]

Yeah. Brody Martin. I hid my Girls Gone Wild tape and a Grease VHS box cover which my granny later sold at a yard sale. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. But you know what? We watch Grease at my house, so that would have been a bad place for me to hide.

[D]

How often are you watching?

[A]

Once a week.

[B]

I loved Grace.

[D]

Gather round, kids, it's Grease time.

[A]

I love Sunday night.

[C]

You know what?

[D]

Sunday night. Y' all know what that means?

[A]

Colombo then Greece.

[D]

Colombo and Greece.

[B]

I had the Grease soundtrack.

[D]

The Sleigh Hour.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of people don't know that about me. I had the Grease soundtrack. Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more. How much doted it's been. It's great.

[A]

Well, somebody at that yard sale was in a big surprise. What's your favorite song?

[B]

Off the album?

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

Well, it's. There's three that you know. There's that one and there's Grease Lightning and then there's the last one. I got chills. They're multiply.

[D]

Yeah, that's probably the one, right?

[B]

Yeah, I like it. I liked it better on the movie than off the soundtrack. It's a little different, but Grease Lightning is a pretty, pretty hot song.

[A]

What about Hopelessly Devoted?

[B]

That's probably my least favorite. I like the one. I like the beginning of the Stranded at the Drive in Branded a Fool. What will they say?

[A]

Sorry, Kathy.

[B]

Monday at school.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Cool. If we move on, Sandy?

[D]

I've never seen Grease.

[B]

You never seen it?

[D]

I know about it. A bunch of 50 year old men than high school.

[B]

It's a great. It's a really great movie.

[D]

And they hang out at the sock hop and just like beat up.

[A]

We should have A sleepover. Watch it.

[D]

I'm thinking. Don't they like street gangs fighting each other? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they race at the end for pink slips.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Sounds terrible.

[B]

It's so good.

[D]

I'm sure it is, but the way they all just described it sounds terrible.

[A]

Lorenzo Lamas is in it.

[D]

Oh, wow. Sign me up. I have no idea. Is. I know who John Travolta is.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Who's the main woman?

[A]

You really don't know, do you?

[D]

Who is Judy Garland? Not Judy Garland. What's her name?

[A]

Olivia Newton John.

[D]

Oh, my bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Olivia Newton John.

[A]

You can't say you know it if you don't even know who the.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Just in the Zygax.

[D]

Does she do anything else?

[B]

She was a singer.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Let's get physical.

[D]

Oh, she was in Xanadu. That's where I know from 1980. Xanadu.

[B]

Yeah. John Travolta's really wanted one of the best of all time.

[D]

At what?

[B]

At acting.

[D]

At acting?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

In what?

[B]

Everything that he's ever been in.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Except for I don't think he cracks

[D]

the top 50, dude.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

We've covered this a few times. Remember the super bowl where you're complaining about all the commercials? Nate's commercial you're complaining about now. It was the year before. But how. All these actors in it. And then we both said our favorite was the one with John Travolta.

[D]

Yeah. Let's move on command. And y' all liked it?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's all right. We got different. It's okay to disagree, as we learned earlier on this podcast.

[A]

Is there a John Travolta movie you like?

[B]

No.

[D]

Okay, so, yeah, I don't know.

[B]

I can't name him.

[A]

Pulp Fiction.

[D]

Oh, Pulp Fiction is good. Yeah, sure. Saturday Night Fever.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

He's in a lot of great movies. To say he's one of the best actors. It's crazy, though.

[B]

Oh, I don't think it's crazy at all. But Saturday Night Fever, really great. The. The sequel, Staying Alive is one of the worst sequels of all time.

[D]

Okay, I'll go look it up.

[B]

Yeah. What about Get Shorty?

[A]

Yeah, that's a great movie.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They didn't even know any of his movies. That he's like. He's a bad actor.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

No, I didn't say he's a bad actor, but one of the best actors of all time is crazy.

[B]

I back it up.

[A]

What about Face Off?

[D]

Face Off's fine with Nick Cage. Nick Cage, a better actor than John Travolta.

[A]

I disagree.

[D]

What are you talking.

[B]

I disagree. Okay, next one. Z. Boogie. The way Dusty says geez when he is mildly disgusted by something never fails to make me laugh. Well, you'd laugh a lot around me, I think.

[D]

If you like mild disgust, Dusty's your guy.

[A]

Come on, guys.

[C]

Oh, geez.

[B]

It's just a good way to go, you know, it's. It's mild. It. You know, I contemplated stopping saying it for a while, but why back?

[A]

Well, some religious connotations.

[B]

Well, some people believe that it's like you're saying Jesus, but you're saying it short. But I'm careful. Even when I text it, I always spell it with the G and not a J, so I'm not completely separate. I'm going, geez Louise.

[D]

You're also using the Z, which is not in Jesus.

[B]

Exactly. Yeah, but I was convicted about it a little bit.

[A]

If Desi writes a song, it'll be called Geez, Take the Wheel.

[B]

Well, yeah, it will be like me talking to the passenger. Just take the wheel. If you want to complain about my driving the whole time, you do it.

[A]

Exactly, yeah.

[D]

Geez, you're an Uber driver.

[B]

Yeah, I had an Uber driver pick me up the other morning real early. She goes, I'm so sleepy.

[C]

Dang.

[B]

We got 15 more minutes.

[A]

Here, let me drive.

[B]

Yeah. All right, Posey. Luke 62. I still remember when texting started to gain popularity. There were countless times I said, why would I take the time to type out a message when I could just call them? Oh, how times have changed.

[A]

I remember that too.

[D]

I remember trying to get my dad. Dad texting to our cell phone plan. He was like, this is ridiculous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Why would you ever do this now? It's the only way we talk.

[B]

Yeah. I'm annoyed when people call me. I go, oh, there must be an emergency.

[D]

How do you like people knocking on your door?

[B]

Ah, I don't care for it.

[A]

Yeah, it happened today.

[D]

Yeah. What happened?

[A]

It set me off. Like. Like, I get road rage when filling out forms at the doctor.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

They'll send ahead pre register. And I'm like, why do you need to know all this stuff? And then you'll get there, and they're like, fill out these forms. I'm like, well, what was the ones I signed up fill out a form right ahead of time.

[D]

Right, right.

[A]

They. I just did one last week, and I never get comfort. I'm not dusty.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But they were like, reason for visit. And I'm like, you guys called me and said it was time for a check.

[D]

You wrote that on the phone?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You tell me, guys, I don't like reason for visit. I go, I'm here to talk to the doctor.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Don't ask me out here in the lobby why I'm in here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Sir, could you please tell the waiting room what you're in here for?

[B]

Yeah, you just let me. I don't even want to tell you.

[A]

I kind got a jungle.

[D]

Could you describe your rash, please?

[A]

I'm a nurse. I don't want to tell the nurse.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But it's in the lobby. Yeah, I mean, listen, back in the day, I've gone in for things and I go, I'll just talk to the doctor about it. All right?

[A]

Yeah, they, they. I just sent it back. If they texted me, they said, hey, you didn't fill out the form. We're sending it back to you.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And I said, it asked for the. My last. The date of my last visit. And. And something else. I said, I don't know that it seemed like you guys would know that. And then they were like, well, just don't worry about that. You skip that. We just need your medical history.

[D]

Sir, could you stop answering so snarky?

[A]

Every. I'm like, who am I?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, don't you guys have records back there? Have I not filled this out before? Have I not been to this walk in clinic before? I think I have.

[A]

Nate has a joke where he says as soon as you fill out, they just take it and throw it in the trash.

[D]

Yeah, that's what it feels like.

[B]

Rick Sanford iii. I totally agree with Brian about going back to hear Jesus speak, but he never mentioned if he. If you would understand. Unless you fluently speak Aramaic, Hebrew or Greek, I believe it would just be gobbledygook. That's what this guy thinks about those languages. Plus, I also think you could go back in time. You also think if you could go back in time to hear Jesus speak, I think he would know and may call you out.

[D]

Nah, he'd be cool about it.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you know what? I think there was a whole thing about them speaking in tongues and being able to. Everybody could understand it. I think everybody can understand Jesus.

[A]

Yeah. That happened after. Yeah.

[B]

But I think that. Think that Jesus had that power.

[A]

Yeah. I just meant I could see miracles. I could see resurrection. There's some things you don't need to know the language to still see what's going on.

[B]

But this guy thinks every language he can't understand is gobbledygook. Gobbledygook, gobble. It would be for me, gobbled, gobbledygook.

[A]

If I see a guy gobbled, it's

[B]

gobbled and it gobbledy.

[A]

If I see a guy on the lake walking across the water, I'm like, what are you saying?

[D]

That's true. That's true.

[A]

Yeah. I can tell you take Rick Sanford III side of this. His dad, the second good guy. But this guy, little Rick, whole family, that's when things started going downhill. Yeah.

[B]

There shouldn't be a fourth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Switch that name.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Summer is for letting things slide a little. You know what I mean? That's the point. Being a comic with a crazy schedule can make it it even harder to stay on track. But there's one easy thing that takes 30 seconds and covers your bases no matter what the season throws at you. One scoop plus eight ounces of water every morning. Ag1. Ag1 is a daily health drink with a multivitamin pre and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants. I don't know what else you could need. It's just one scoop with eight ounces of water. They make it it so easy. I have late nights and long weekends and we all have a spontaneous life. You know how it is, guys. So having something so easy to help bring back some nutrition is a game changer. AJ1 helps keep one thing consistent. High quality nutritional support every single day. It's gluten free, dairyfree, paleo vegan keto and less than 1 gram of naturally occurring sugar. I love being able to use the travel packs when I'm out on the road. It keeps me in line and helps me get up and replenish my daily nutrients. Visit drink ag1.comnateland to get a free morning person hat and free AG1 flavor sampler in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription, an 82 dollar value. That's drinkag1.comnateland well, speaking of great families,

[D]

we have an unbelievable guest here about to join us, right?

[B]

Yes we do.

[A]

I'm going to share a couple of news things and then we'll save the third one for the guest. Okay, some things coming up here. June 28th, Nateland presents at the Woolworth Theater three half hour specials. Alex Villuto.

[B]

Oh, very good.

[A]

Mike Goodwin and John Heffron. This June 28th, 3:00 clock here in Nashville at the Woolworth Theater. Those are three great comics.

[B]

They are three great comics.

[A]

That's going to be a hot show. So get tickets for that. Nateland presents the showcase. Season five is August 23rd, 24th, 25th here at the Lab.

[C]

Great.

[A]

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Tickets are on sale for that and the third one. I'll go ahead and say it and then we'll bring them on. Talk about it. Stephen Bargetti special. All right, out in a minute. His magic special comes out this Thursday, June 18th at 4 o'. Clock. So let's get Stephen in here to talk about it.

[B]

All right. All right. Welcome to the podcast, Mr. Steven Bargaze.

[A]

What an entrance. Wow. Magical. He just appeared weird.

[B]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, we, you know, before we took, you know, we, we had led up to it, we let everybody know that you got a special coming out.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And we're very excited about it.

[C]

All right. Do I get a little poster?

[B]

Yeah, you got a poster back there?

[C]

All right, I got one.

[D]

Oh, look at that.

[B]

That's the temporary response.

[D]

That looks great.

[C]

It'll be under the table in a month. Yeah, but still right now, in a minute, you know, I'm impressed.

[B]

It'll be out in a minute.

[D]

Good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't come to your taping, but I came to the afterparty for the cake.

[C]

That's normal.

[A]

And the afterparty was great and stuff. The cake was delicious.

[C]

So great.

[A]

Yeah. That's all I know about it. No, I. I have seen your special. It's great. How do you. He brings up guest after guest after guest for the audience.

[D]

That's.

[A]

You've always done that. Have you ever had somebody that just got hostile or just. Was a bad choice?

[C]

Oh, yeah, okay. I've had. I'm trying to think probably many times. Yeah. Many, many times.

[A]

How do you. How do you decide who to choose?

[C]

All right, That's a great question. And. And for me, that's why Nathan. And sometimes that doesn't like me. Even when I'm doing the arenas with Nathan, I walk around before because. Because I am so reliant on that. Being a good person. Yeah. And that sometimes when we're in Madison Square Gardens, I got a horrible lady that was. But normally what happens, you know, bless her heart, she's going to hear this and go, that was me. But I. I want. Because I'm doing some things. I want somebody that doesn't. Is not begging to get up there.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think you have to worry. I don't think horrible people listen to this podcast.

[C]

Okay. All right, that's good.

[B]

They come.

[C]

I didn't Know something? Fans might be listening.

[A]

I bet I would like her.

[C]

You would love her. But what she ended up being was. I mean, she didn't. I thought she was perfect because for each trick I kind of do, I need a certain person. So for the closer, the second closer in this one, I need a lady with long hair, about year length, and I want. Wearing rings, and then I just want them to be nice, but I don't want them to go, please, please pick me. I want them to go, ah, I don't know. And then her husband goes, oh, come on, you'll do it. It'll shuffle. That's my lady, because she's a little timid. She wants to get. And I think they just want to get up and get off. They want to please me. They're not going to fight me and go. And I don't care.

[B]

They're too eager. They really want to be part of the show. And you're like, I need you to be a regular person.

[C]

That's right, normal.

[D]

Don't try to be clever with how you're answering stuff.

[C]

Yeah, but you hate to tell them that.

[B]

No red wine mouth.

[C]

I like an older person, and I like somebody that's talking. If I don't get to meet them, I just look out. I look at somebody. I don't want the lady sitting by herself.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I want somebody this kind of.

[B]

Nobody wants her.

[C]

No, no, it's obvious.

[D]

So you're just walking around the arena judging people based on how they look.

[C]

And sometimes I. But a lot of times I'll do a trick.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I do a trick where I stick a plunger on a bald head guy. A guy's head.

[D]

I've seen it.

[C]

So I'm going to talk. I want to talk to him. I don't want to go. You know, I might go, hey, buddy, let me. You got a comb I can borrow? I'm just messing with you. And if he. He. If he's a jerk about it, then he's not my guy. Yeah, but if he let. Oh, I left my cone. You know, if he. If he's. Then I know, all right? He can take anything I can throw at him.

[D]

What if he doesn't get the joke? I'll save you for another trick.

[C]

I'll go, here, put this hat on. Yeah, but there's times I've had to bail on people, too. I mean, I've been doing it for.

[B]

What do you go, 45 years. You know, go ahead.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I go, that's enough of you. Yeah, and stuff. A lot of times I remember, I go, wait, I read the script. You're not in it. You're talking way too much. And you try to hint to them, but usually alcohol is the biggest problem because when they get you and you don't know that they've had a little too much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The lady pointed at Dusty when you said that. Yeah, alcohol's the biggest problem.

[C]

We were talking about alcohol while in

[B]

the break and doing improv. We would do that some too. You bring people up on stage and the people that are the drunkest are all. They're.

[C]

They think they're funny.

[B]

Yeah. They're like making up stuff. You're just asking them questions and they're trying to make up their job.

[D]

Well, isn't improv your greatest fear? That they're gonna be better than you at improv? Immediately?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, well, that's why I don't like crowd work. Yeah, right.

[C]

If it's a chance. I made a living off of doing that. I think I'm pretty good. If I talk to them, I can get them. But this lady at Madison Square Garden was a ballroom dancer. And when she got up there in front of the lights came on, it brought back memories and she just started dancing. I couldn't get her to control her and stop it. I had literally mute my mic and go, stop it. Just get over here and be normal. Yeah. And I. And I. And I'm having to.

[D]

She's just twirling around.

[C]

Yeah. Every time I touch her, she always. She wanted to do the split.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Did she tell the crowd she was a dancer?

[C]

No. I don't know. I just went.

[B]

Were they cheering for her, though, when she was dancing?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was so panicking. Just like, stop it. I mean, why? Because I only got eight minutes. Yeah.

[B]

Like, listen, I know it's New York. Everybody's a performer.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

You know, everybody talks about the grill during the summer. Brian won't shut up about it. And don't get me wrong, I love grilling. But honestly, the pans in my kitchen get just as much work as the grill. It's time to show them some love. I become obsessed with hexclad. And the reason is simple. They just make cooking easier. What I noticed right away was the sear. You get that nice restaurant style crust on your food, but you don't have the nightmare cleanup that usually comes with it. It's kind of the best of both worlds. Everything cooks evenly, the food doesn't stick, and afterwards you're not scrubbing at the sink for 20 minutes, and I love that I don't have to baby these things. You can beat them to death, dude. Metal utensils. Fine. Throw them in the dishwasher. Fine. Stick them in the oven. Okay. They're built to actually be used. And I'm not the only one. Okay. They have over 50,000-star reviews. More than a million people have Hexclad, and Gordon Ramsay uses them.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

I mean, that's a pretty good vouch right there from the Gordon Ramsay. Right now, you can shop Hexclad's summer sale and unlock free gifts worth up to $229. Plus, every Hexclad product comes with a lifetime warranty, so you're buying cookware that's meant to last. So whether you're hosting all summer long or just want to make everything cooking feel easier, this is the upgrade your kitchen deserves. Shop Hexclad summer sale and unlock free gifts up to $229. And if you're hearing this after the sale ends, don't worry. We still got you. For a limited time, our listeners can get 10% off using our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.comnateland to shop. After you purchase, support our show. Tell them we sent you.

[A]

When you pick out kids, what do you look for in them?

[C]

I definitely want to talk to the kid first and again, especially, like, for a special or like this weekend. I did. Did four shows, and I talked to every kid. But usually if you were the kid, I go, hey, I'm gonna get a chance. You want a chance to win some money? I promise you, you're going to win some money. Oh, I love it.

[B]

Can you do a few minutes without it?

[C]

Yeah. And then I go. I go, this. A few. Make it. This is. This is like. This is. He's the guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He's throwing in his line.

[A]

He's the guy you don't want up there.

[C]

But. But then I'll go, look, I'm gonna bring you up there. We're gonna have a lot of fun. Everybody's gonna love you when this is over. And you will win the money. But I'm gonna make fun of you. I'm gonna call you dumb and stupid. Can you handle that? Don't cry. And they. And some. Yeah, sometimes I get that. Sometimes I go, then I don't want that kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And sometimes it's just the perfect age. And the thing is, when you see me do it and how rough I am, Treat the and kids or to the lady or to anything is you just get a feeling, oh, I can take her as far as I want to go or I can take him. I can be. I had one this weekend. I could have slapped him and he'd have loved it. He was just that kid. Yeah. So I really, I'm pretty good. I've been doing it so long I got them and I know how far I can take this person and not. And then if I bail, you know, if they're not. If I see them getting timid and wide eyed, I don't. But also I do so many things people don't know is when I got the little kid and you know, and I'm going, you know, I'm way smarter than you and stuff. I know how your pee brain works. I'm touching them and we probably get in trouble for. But I'm letting them know, hey, I'm joking.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And without telling everybody, just a soft touch, a soft smile, pat on the back. Yeah, yeah. And just say that I think you by doing that the kid can relax and go, okay, well yeah, Because I want them to think when they're helping me, even the lady or they're part of the show, I'm in show business for a little, for a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And you know, I'd say when it leaves, I get so many people. I had a little girl this weekend that honestly came up and she said, this is the best moment of my entire life.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

And I wore her out. Yeah, it was great.

[B]

And you go, I hope it's, you know, I hope it gets better.

[C]

Hope it gets better.

[B]

I don't know what's going on at home, but yes.

[C]

I have no idea. But I think it gave her a little taste of being in front of people.

[D]

Yeah, sure.

[C]

She was able to make people laugh.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Her name was Julie Julia with an A. And I call her Julie. And she said, no, with an A. And I go, you'll never get married. You can't. You don't have a chance. If you're going to crawl me out on an A or an E in front of all these people. You're that lady. You'll never make it as a wife. And she was just. It was great.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

She's six.

[B]

Well, she was.

[C]

This was, this is when I needed a teenager.

[B]

Now's the time for the talk.

[C]

She was 14.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it was, it was a good age.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That's great, man.

[A]

Now when you do the straight jacket, do you look for a large Man.

[C]

Yes. Because in the middle of the straight jacket, I'm literally, without warning him, just going to fall all my weight into him. Because I think it's a great moment just to be hit. Yeah, perfect. That's the I would have to think about. Yeah, I'm going. I'm not going. Because you catch them off guard. You want to. You want them to catch you.

[B]

My balance is not great. I would probably fight.

[C]

Yeah, you just go, oh, sorry about that. Yeah. Because I am in. I am in a jacket. If you miss me, I'm on. I'm on the ground. And, you know. But I also do that from the stage. I jump on a guy. Like, at the end, I crawl out over the stage and get somebody. But I usually get a big guy up, like, I'm not pay. And I just literally jump in his arm without telling him. And we got it. There's a Nathan sky has someone tape a bunch of people going. You can hear them go, You're a lot bigger than I thought you are. So I have been kind of thinking about it and telling them, I'm going to do it, say, hey, you're going to help me off stage. So at least they can prepare themselves. Because, Lily, I just call them up there and jump in their arms.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Do you think that because. I think that because you're Nate's dad, I think. I don't think it's true now because now people know your show, but I think people think that you're not gonna be good. Right.

[C]

Because 1,000%.

[B]

Because they're like, ah, this is Nate's dad. Nate just put him on the show. And then we did bridgestone, and I had to follow you. And I was unfortunate for me because I was like, wow, that was great.

[C]

When I first worked with Nate, when he first started doing it, I would get a sustained ovation. Almost everybody, just. Cause I'm there and I'm real. They don't know that. Oh, man, he really is. But they literally think, all I want to do is go here, pull my finger. That's what they're expecting. And then when they see that, I could almost get two standing ovations in every show because the second one was, oh, my God, he was really good. And then a lot of people will come up and say, plus, you do

[A]

that thing where you pretend to cry at the end. Emotional. Yeah. That always gets them on your side.

[C]

But, you know, I think that he made me lose my thought on that.

[D]

But that's what Brian does.

[B]

Two standing ovations. Because they're like, oh, you're really good.

[C]

Right. You're not bringing. You're not helping at all.

[B]

Well, might as well bring it back around. Let everybody know you're getting two standing ovations a show.

[D]

I'm not going to try to help now.

[B]

Yeah, you're like, a lot of people get one, but I get two every time. No big deal.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. No, I. I have no idea what I was going to say, but it was a good point there, Brian.

[A]

It'll come back to you.

[C]

I think sometimes I wake up caring my wife. Hey, I know, I got it.

[A]

Call me.

[B]

When I think stand up comedy is better live than it is on a special. They do a great job of capturing specials now to where it still give you that live feel. But do you think what you do is seeing that you do a lot of crowd interaction. You think it's a good translation on video?

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Way better lie.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Well, and I want a crowd. I love, like, corp. I love it when people know each other. Even when the club. I'd rather have like a big group here, these guys. Because it's. Because, again, I am. I'm so far from what Nate is.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And because Nate never would make fun of someone like this. And like, I would say, this jacket is. I bet it was good when it fit you. But I'm just messing with. I go to God's.

[D]

I never did.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Listen to a lot of the old podcasts. Brian and Aaron were made fun of all the time.

[C]

And I always felt bad. I have a one on Brian.

[D]

So he's doing it. He's touching his arm like, I'm going,

[C]

brian, this is going to not hurt.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But one of the first times I asked him to warm up for me. And it's a joke I do on everybody, on my friends and stuff. So when they come on and right before the show starts, I go, hey, all right, man, you need to get ready. We're about to go on and go, okay, I'm ready. Then I go, you're wearing that. Oh, yeah, yeah, that shirt. And I go, this is. These people paid a lot of money. And he felt so bad about that shirt. I could. I could tell later when he was. I really felt like it bothered him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that.

[A]

Yeah, because you were serious.

[C]

His wife told me, I told him later I could apologize. I tell him, I say that joke to everybody. And she goes, he will never wear that shirt again. He won't wear it.

[B]

If it were me, I would have probably taken the stage and go, I'm sorry about this shirt.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

He just talked about it.

[B]

I apologize for my shirts. Anyway. Most of the time I don't know what to wear there.

[C]

It's obvious.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You don't have to tell anybody that.

[A]

So are you. You writing a new hour now?

[C]

Yeah. No. Yeah again. And this is why I. I'm not saying people have been after me, but I've had chances in the past to be on shows and tv. My original guy I worked with always. Never. I don't know if, you know, remember a guy named Mason Jonathan. But he was.

[B]

We kind of.

[C]

We kind of did. He went on television and made a special and they wore him out now. And he had to disappear for. Because you're never going to get in magic. Everything's out. You'll never get that same hour back. You'll never have all these great stuff. And so I am doing. I have enough that I'm doing a new stuff. But there's some things I don't ever want to walk away from. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's why I didn't really want to make this. This was a gift from Nathan, Abby and Derek to do this for me. And I. I agree to it. So they would have something to play at the casket.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. So it can be on a loop.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And people can go up and go, wow. You know what he really does? He did stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. That's it. That's my. I keep the way this is. You're out of the picture. I don't know. You should.

[D]

I should be where you are just cropped.

[A]

I'm just sticking the back of your head this whole time.

[C]

I know. I'm just going with. Brian's over there. I'm sorry, Brian.

[A]

It's okay. I'm just.

[C]

Known you the longest.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[D]

Do you have tricks that take years to crack almost or to figure out?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And the way that some jokes, you're like. You know, you're telling the joke and then one day you just like, oh, I figured it out.

[C]

All right. All right. Perfect. All right. So I do a trick called I hate kids. Even the title. The title got me kicked off with that Disney because they don't like for you to say I hate kids and. But anyway, a Disney cruise ship. Come on over here, Brian. This would be. It helps so much. Maybe I should talk to the camera.

[D]

Oh, there you go. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. But I have a trick and. And it's that same one with the kid. It's called I hate kids. And I go, you can't win. I'm going to beat you. I'm way smarter than you. I know how your little PE brain works. And I'm making fun of this kid. And then. And just in the last year, I've had that trick, selling the magicians and doing it. I've been doing it for. I did it since Opryland days, which is back in the 80s. And just in the last year and a half, I came up with, you're gonna be the kid. I go. I go, I'm way smarter than you. And I know how your pea brain works. What grade are you in?

[D]

Fourth grade.

[C]

Yeah, well, I had two years in the fourth grade. That's way more fourth grade than you've ever had. You don't stand a chance. Now, if you think about that line, that kid is now going, well, that ain't smart. And all the kids kind of. If there's kids in the audience, it kind of says, this guy's a dummy.

[D]

Right.

[C]

And it's okay. It kind of puts me on their level. Does that make sense?

[D]

And you can feel the difference just from that line.

[C]

That line was a game changer.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I never have to worry. I rarely ever. Like I told you, I had to back off if I'm going too hard. Never probably a problem.

[B]

Before that line, parents were calling you later going, my kids really struggling since being on the show.

[C]

Yeah, that is exactly right. I'm not.

[B]

Grades are falling off out of nowhere. Did you hypnotize him in some weird way?

[C]

Yeah. But I think definitely you get lines that just come or jokes like that all these years.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And.

[D]

And that kind of changes the feel of the whole. The whole thing.

[C]

Yeah, I really felt like it did.

[D]

That's great. Very cool.

[A]

You're. You're special. It's a little bit like a one man show because you talk a little bit about your life and stuff. And I've always said that, you know, he's talked about publicly about running away from home when he was a kid. And I always say, your bad mom led to my comedy career because if you hadn't moved to Nashville, I'd never met Nate. So, yeah, thank you to her for giving me a career. It's funny how life works and how one person can affect so many things.

[C]

Right. I. I'm just real quick. I mean, this is not my podcast.

[D]

But you're running the show today.

[A]

No, it is not.

[C]

I really was a special ed student and. And I was left handed in the Catholic school, they used to beat us for being left handed. And so I just, my. My mom was just.

[D]

Did it work? What are you like, are you right handed now?

[C]

Yeah, Everything except all my magic is left handed.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Every slight is. I do left handed, but anything a nun can see right handed. And so I just kind of do all that.

[D]

That's great.

[C]

But. So I had a teacher. I talk when I talk to kids sometimes. I had a teacher, literally, I came in PE class and they wanted me to throw a ball. And I mean, to him, he was on the other side. Was the first man teacher I ever had. And I remember thinking in my brain, if I tore with my left hand, he's going to hit me. Yeah, I bet he hits harder than a nun. And so I threw it with the wrong hand. And in front of everybody, he goes, man, you feel like a girl. The whole class, I mean, I was like crushed. So I thought, I can't play sports. I didn't think it was okay. I was a kid to be left hand. I thought, you don't know how to use your right hand. Right, right. And so. But then, because I was in special ed classes, they also came and made us do stuff. And the drama teacher, my junior year in high school came in and said, we're having a play. We need some hippies. My hair was a little bit longer than yours, about like yours.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And they said, said, it's cool. You just gotta be a hippie. And in the play, they need somebody to dance around in their underwear. And we were just background and say this line. And this teacher, Sherry Branstad, I'm still looking for her. She said, hey, you're funny. Would you dance in your underwear in front of everybody? And I go, you bet I will. But look how life changing, you know, One body.

[A]

She's in prison now, Lisa.

[C]

Mental hospital.

[A]

You know, Sherry went away soon after,

[B]

but yeah, a lot of people looking

[C]

for Sherry, weren't they really?

[A]

But she believed in you. And that started your.

[C]

I have no idea why she even said it.

[A]

Yeah. But then she said you were funny.

[C]

Yeah, you're funny.

[B]

You got a good build. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You can be in your underwear when

[A]

you come over to my place and

[C]

it's in my yearbook. It's the only time I ever made that yearbook other than the one they have to put in there. Yeah, it's me in my underwear.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I was stuttering at the time with the speech pen, so I wouldn't say the line. But she worked it out when another kid said it and so I just had to act stupid. So I really did, my senior year, become the funny guy.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And so. And I always knew I wanted to do that and just had to find a venue and magic is where I ended up at.

[A]

But that was in Nashville, right?

[C]

That was in Louisville. The play was okay. And I would run away. That's why he said that my mom got in trouble and ran away to Louisville. And then to honor her as a teenager, I got in trouble, ran away back here.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So. Yeah.

[A]

Well, I'm glad you did. Yeah. But not to go over your whole career, but then you came here and met your cousin Ronnie and.

[C]

Yeah, he, too, Right. He invited me to come stay with him. Yeah. And I was kind of in and out. I stay on. I'd live on the streets a couple. For a couple a week or sometimes I had places I go hide.

[A]

Like, literally on the streets?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Where would you hide?

[C]

In cars and behind some people's sheds and stuff like that. I had a friend that I could stay at house some, but his parents would get mad, so he had a shed and garage. I'd go stay out there. I'd go eat at Pizza Hut and Kentucky Fried Chicken. Because you didn't bust your own tables back then. You just left it there.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And so we would go in there and watch people eat and say, I gotta touch that chicken.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or anything like that. And we'd literally go eat, pick up. And they.

[B]

You get that?

[C]

That. Yeah.

[B]

No, I've been there, too.

[C]

But that's how I did all that stuff.

[A]

You've got a joke about doing that?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Aaron ate the fries.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's true.

[B]

I never forget that story.

[A]

That's true. I thought you were just being mean for somebody.

[D]

Yeah, so did I. I didn't get the reference right away. That's okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and Dusty have a lot. And cut the long hair. Living place to place.

[B]

I used in my underwear back then, too. People were not asking for it.

[D]

You weren't even in the play.

[A]

Well, you and Nate, another thing y' all have in common, y' all both enjoy pranks.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

I guess he got it. I guess he got it from you.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Right? So Dusty. Dusty and I, we're not big prank guys. But Dusty said he's already shared on this podcast. He wants to prank the Grand Ole Opry by going out as a singer and pretending not telling him he's a comedian. Just make them think he's a singer.

[B]

We're pranking the audience, not the Opry. I want the Opry to introduce me as a singer. And then I go out, out and sing a song.

[C]

I love that idea.

[B]

And then just go, I'm just kidding.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, and see, how long before they go, I don't think this guy is a singer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then pretty quickly, when I transition and say, hey, I'm a comic. How long before they go, oh, what's he really doing?

[C]

That's right.

[D]

Go back to singing.

[C]

Well, in my straight jacket, in my special. Yes, but in the straight jacket, I was trying to be Kaufman. I had a gag where I can't. I couldn't get my. I had, like, an Evel Knievel jacket on, and I'm gonna get in a straight jacket. And it would get stuck. I couldn't get out of the regular jacket. And that's all the joke I had. And then I put the jacket on and I go, like, I wonder how long these people will watch if I don't get out.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's about four and a half minutes, I'll tell you that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Then they go, they've had enough of me. But I used to fall down on the stage and try to fight and then roll off, and I'd roll back on in between an act or something. And then I'd be out in the parking lot telling people to come back. I'll be out by tomorrow. But I had no plan to ever get out. And then eventually that got changed because some junk came up and started helping me. And we got in a fight kind of on stage, and it becomes what it is today. But I love that idea of doing that. And I can show. I can help you with this. When I. I had a guy who. To make myself learn to do this, I had a guy make me this and some teeth. Because it changes your whole look.

[B]

Yeah, and it sure does.

[C]

You put a ball hat on.

[A]

Can I see?

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

With a hat. And I would go.

[A]

So if you're listening, just keep listening. Do not watch.

[C]

I went and delivered pizzas. I would take somebody's pizza, go. And I don't know none of these people. I just went up because I needed to learn to get the guts up to be funny. So I'd go up somebody's house and

[B]

go, the teeth weren't really funny to me right away. But when you were telling me you

[C]

delivered, you go, $14. And they go, I didn't order a pizza.

[B]

Don't get me stuck with this.

[C]

It comes out on my Pack. Hey. I had a God good gun and chased me off of the porch. My neighbor. And this is how I got back with my family, my sisters, a haircut. So I put these on and went down and asked for a haircut. And I mean, they just thought they were. They come in, they were going, oh, God, close the door. But we just became. But this gave me the courage. I mean, I had to make myself learn to get over getting in front of people. And these teeth just had some dentists made them.

[D]

It's like a mask, right? It's the same thing.

[C]

Yeah, but great. And so I think you just come out and just say, this guy doing play work on a guitar. Break your strings.

[B]

That would be.

[D]

You should also wear those teeth, though.

[B]

Yeah. Really? Yeah, Go for it. You know, be like, it's an honor to be here. Standing on the circle. Really get into it. Tear up a little.

[C]

Yeah. Be off the charcoal a little bit. Where's that circle? But I think the first time, you hit all the strings, break.

[B]

Yeah. Drop. Yeah. Drop my pick. Yeah.

[A]

I think we got something.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I think I'm into this idea now.

[C]

I think we could write a great thing.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I worked with a comic one time, Marty Polio, I think is his name. Maybe Polo Money.

[D]

It's a big difference. Polo and Polio.

[B]

But he. He was kind of a musician, magician that would do all, like, bad.

[C]

Terrible man.

[B]

Yeah. And I liked it because the way he almost did it was like. He was like, you know, you. You almost thought, this guy's kind of not doing well.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But he kept in it very confident.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I don't know. I. I liked it.

[A]

Well, that's what you're brilliant at. You. The whole time you. You play that, the joke is messed, the trick is messing up, and then you do it.

[C]

I got on the special in the beginning, they told me, because in my real act, my first three things, none of it worked.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And then I found. But at the end, everything worked. And it was working the whole time. You just didn't know it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

So that's what makes it a great show. But they were saying, for tv, people will turn you off.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

They're never going to make it to the end because they're going to go, this guy's terrible.

[B]

I mean, I guess I got a little bit of a sick sense of humor. But if a guy. If I were watching TV and a guy. None of his tricks were working, I'd be like, you want a guy?

[D]

By earnestly failing, I mean, until this,

[A]

I only knew you from the Manning cast. And so, yeah, so I'm like, I gotta watch more of this guy.

[C]

It was terrible. The worst day of my life.

[B]

I didn't see it.

[C]

So, no, we. I totally. We did research. We did everything. I talked to the people, I said, I'm gonna do a trick. It's not gonna work. But then, then immediately I'll blow, and it's going to work. Got it. We got it. We got it 100 times. As soon as it worked, as soon as they went, this is it, they won't say no. Manning goes, ah, that's a shame. All right, let's go on to the next thing. Just block me off.

[D]

Do you know what the Manning cast is? It's where you can watch. Instead of watching Monday Night Football, you can watch a Zoom Call with Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, and usually a guest. And Nate was on with Stephen as a guest and they were doing a trick and there's about a 14 second delay between your side and the live. So it was just like a recipe for disaster.

[C]

Yeah, it was terrible. They did call and apologize.

[B]

They did, yeah.

[D]

Peyton himself. Oh, that's pretty.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

All right.

[D]

That changes my whole. I didn't know that part of it.

[B]

It's very nice to publicly humiliate you. And then privately,

[C]

very much.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that disappoints me. I've always been a big Peyton fan.

[D]

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[A]

I remember one time on a show, Nate had a glass of water already out there. And you were on my finger. Yeah. Stuck your finger at it.

[C]

And then he didn't think that was that funny.

[A]

I did, though. I thought it was great. And then when he would take a drink, the audience was kind of in on the joke.

[C]

Right.

[D]

And he didn't know what was going on.

[C]

Everybody would laugh when he would drink it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

He couldn't figure it out. I did it a couple times for you. For somebody toady.

[D]

See, I would. I really like that when it's happened to somebody else. I would be furious if that was me. Yeah.

[C]

I'm. I'm sticking them on a lot of points that are that way. The furious. Do you remember. I don't know why. You know this. The salted peanut prank.

[B]

No.

[C]

Have you never seen peanuts?

[D]

I've had peanuts.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You never.

[D]

Plenty of peanuts. I've never seen this trick. No.

[A]

I've had that exact can when I was a kid.

[C]

Show, show, show him what it is.

[B]

Sure. There's originals in it.

[C]

That's my. It's the original trick, Dusty. It's an old, old trick. There's snakes in here. Yeah. Wing snakes. So what I did is I put real peanuts in it. And what you want is. You want that gu. Think she knows. Yeah. Because he'll go. And then he throws it on the guy next to him and peanuts go flying everywhere. You go. What a jerk. You know how much peanuts are these days? So you just put real peanuts in. And this is. Any old. You have to take snakes out. But I think that's. I think that's my kind of comedy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

When. When someone thinks they. They got.

[B]

I like that. Yeah.

[A]

Well, I don't think that's funny at all.

[C]

Yeah. You gotta pick up all these peanuts. Yeah.

[D]

Brian will do later.

[B]

We're not making some peanut butter right now with the.

[C]

I love stuff like that.

[A]

What's the best prank you ever play? You think?

[C]

I got so many good ones. I've got a friend, I think that. I don't know if you'd mind me telling me, but he had one of his best friends growing up. He had. He was getting Alzheimer's, and, you know, when you're getting sick, I just think to have the guts to do this is brilliant. I did not do this one. I'LL tell you what I did. But he had a head. His wife wanted to go away, party like, you know, we used. It's kind of like we're not going to see Aaron for, you know, so let's all get together while Aaron's still halfway. Have you ever heard of that? People do that. So he invites 50 people. 25 of them knows this guy really well, 25 have never met him ever. And he gives them one thing about him. So half the people there, he doesn't know, but they know one thing about him. They're like, I remember colleagues.

[A]

We went to that game.

[C]

And so now he thinks that it's gone. I've already. It's over. I didn't even make it through the party. Everybody goes, I know nobody started sweating. Had like a panic attack. I love that, that he had the guts.

[B]

Wow, that's the worst prank I've ever heard.

[C]

It is the worst.

[B]

He said, yeah.

[D]

Oh, that's awesome.

[C]

The best. What I did is I stayed in a bed and breakfast.

[B]

Did they clear it up?

[C]

Oh, eventually, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then he forgets about it.

[C]

Yeah. And now it doesn't matter. But I stay in a bread and breakfast for guys on show. There's a married couple, me and another married couple, but two of them are acts together and just me and this other guy. So all comics. So one couple brings me in the morning. We've been staying with this lady for several times, several days. And I just remember one time I asked her for. I don't drink coffee. I said, hot tea, you have Sweet and low. And she goes, no, she got. She has real sugar and that's it. But she makes something every day and coffee cake. I remember the thing. So he goes, hey, I got a card that we're going to leave for the lady and. And we got her an apron and you owe me ten bucks. And then he goes, go get them to sign it and bring it back. So I go over to. I want them to do that, that. So I get there and knock on the door and they open the door, they go, hey, hey. We got the lady a card. And. But they didn't have the 10 bucks or anything, so I just put mine behind my back and I went, oh, okay. And they go, go get them to sign it. So I said, oh, okay. So I took their card and then I. On the one that I owed the money, I paid his $10, gave it back, did not sign their name to it. Let him sign it. I took her, hers, his, and I wrote. I go, the coffee Cake was dry. For the love of God, can you get some sweet and low? I go. Just. So I just let this lady have it, and they've already signed it. So I just. Then I took a picture of it and waited for him to get on the plane. And then I sent it to him and his wife. They had just got married, and she does not understand comedy.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So she. This. This is the. Been five years ago. She still hates my guts, but. So I sent it to her. And I remember him writing me and saying, how dare you? How can you do that to her? That poor nice lady. And I go, I didn't do it. My name's not at the bottom of the card. You did it. I gave her a card in the neighborhood, and she loves me, but it was just a situational thing that I was able to get away with, you know, by doing switch and stuff. But also, I know you might want to talk about the doorknobs.

[A]

Yeah. I was about to bring.

[C]

Yeah, that was one of my favorites. My son Derek. I go over the house, and he's painting all the doors in his house. And on the kitchen table is all the doorknobs. So I take one. I thought, that'll be funny. They think they lost the doorknobs. But then some reason, I ended up having to go to Ace Hardware to get something. And these are old doorknobs. But Ace Hardware sells old doorknobs. So when I got there, I just saw her. This is the exact doorknob that he has. So I realized, this is way better. Instead of taking one, I'll go back and add one. So I went back on his table and I just added the extra one. And I didn't hear anything about it. He told me they almost divorced. They were fighting over this doorknob and doing it. He was having kids go line up in front of doors. They were hauling it out. They numbered all the doors in the house, trying to find out where this extra door knob goes. I thought that was brilliant.

[D]

Golly, that's so great.

[A]

Did you finally just have to take. Tell them?

[C]

No, I. I told him because I forgot about that. I told them. I told them, like, months later, and they would. They just died. They was going. We got the biggest fights ever over that. So I kind of.

[B]

They laughed on the phone. And then.

[C]

Now that.

[B]

That wife hates you, too.

[C]

Yeah, but I love anything. Stuff like that.

[A]

Abby gave me some examples. Unscrewing light bulbs in someone's house.

[C]

I do that a lot. I like to do that when I go, if I'm staying with another comic and we on the road, I go into the room.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I like to reverse the batteries in the. The remote so it don't work, and I unscrew the light.

[D]

Ruining people's months.

[C]

I do that. And I do that. If I got time, I go to the bathroom, I'll unscrew your. Your light up high. Yeah. If I can get up there and get it. So they think, like, switches out.

[D]

I'll change your email password.

[C]

My favorite thing to do, I can't go anybody. I like to switch pictures in somebody's house or they have a knickknack here. I'll just switch them and stuff. But I switched. The last time I did it, I switched two really expensive pictures. And this guy, I talking to him, he go, it's really funny, man. The other day. But my. They fell off the wall and broke, so I must not have hung him up right now. He would be finding this out like that. But I kind of went, okay, no more real expensive stuff. But I like to just keep the pace.

[B]

All my light bulbs are very expensive.

[C]

This is a good one. I bought, like, 10 rubber ducks, those little yellow ones. I think there was 12 in a box.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

But I only took seven, and I numbered them 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 10, 12. So I just skipped the numbers and I went and hid them in their house. So when they find number 12, they go, all right, we know there's 12, but there's really only seven. So they look for years for these ducks, and they're not there. They're not going to ever find them. They go, we got seven. We don't know where these other ones are. I go, oh, you'll never find those.

[B]

Wow. You're losing viewers to this special because not finding out what you've been doing to them.

[C]

Friends of the family.

[B]

Wow. We like him.

[A]

Bed and breakfast light switch, remote.

[C]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Can't tell that one.

[C]

No, I can. I was at a golf camp thing with Tennessee High School, second school, and it was again, a bed and breakfast. So we had three rooms over here, and my. The boss and Ron Bargazzi and them were there in the other room. And I just happened to find out by accident. I turned on the light switch and the fan, and it turned theirs on, too. So we stay up all night. You can see under the door when they come on, we turn it on, get up and turn it off, and we turn it, and we make the fan go real fast and slow. So we. I mean, literally Till one in the morning, we're turning the lights on and just switch and everything. So the next day we go down to breakfast and the lady serving us the dinner. And I'm dying for them to go all night. You won't believe what's happening, but they figured it out that it was me, so they're not going to give me anything. They go, we're not telling him. Whatever you do, don't. Don't act like nothing.

[B]

How did they know it was you?

[C]

Well, of course they did.

[A]

This guy's a history.

[D]

This is what he does.

[C]

Yeah, they figured it out because they know every time. I'd wait just long enough to get back in bed and come back on again. But. So we get down and the lady's serving us dinner and. And she just. She goes, I was up all night, you won't believe it. But my. My stove, my flat, lamps and everything kept going and off. So apparently it worked. Hers down in her room, too. So she was up doing it all night long. She goes, I gotta get an electrician in here. And we about died.

[A]

Did you. Is your whole family like that?

[C]

Yes, Abigail, we. We all are. We all kind of do. Abigail once sewed Carol's pajamas. Carol below the knee, about that far. Just sewed them together. And so I'm sitting in the Carol's and she's getting dressed.

[B]

Sewed them closed or.

[C]

Okay, just the pants leg right there, so you can't go past it. Knee. So. But Carol puts a leg in there and hits it. And all of a sudden she's hopping and I'm talking. She's talking to me, and she goes, wham. Right into the wall. It was fantastic. I wouldn't like you never be more

[D]

proud as a father.

[C]

That's the most awesome thing. But also on Thanksgiving, we are a ketchup family. And you can ruin Thanksgiving with no ketchup.

[D]

Right?

[C]

And. But so, brand new bottle of ketchup.

[D]

What gets ketchup on Thanksgiving?

[C]

Yeah, I put it on my dressing, but I like to dip the turkey in it sometimes. I can always put eggs just like the Pilgrims. We can find anything with ketchup. But I had a brand new bottle and Abigail, we had in science class or something, so she puts a tablespoon of baking soda in it, and you close it back up. And so I'm putting it on my. When you turn that down and you start it, it don't stop. It's a volcano. It just comes out. You turn it this way, it shoots all your ketchup out and stuff. That was not a good plank.

[D]

This vinegar in the ketchup.

[C]

Yeah, I guess.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

I don't know. I have no idea the history or the science behind it, but it worked. And we. I was really ticked off. It wasn't Thanksgiving. You can't just go out and buy another bottle of ketchup and Thanksgiving.

[D]

It was.

[B]

No, it was just the one bottle.

[C]

It was a whole bu. It bought the whole. It was a brand new bottle of ketchup.

[D]

Gallon jug.

[C]

That was like $4. But Abigail's done a lot.

[A]

Lot did. But like, did you grow up around it? Do your siblings?

[C]

No. Well, me and my sister when she was. What am I doing all the time? My. I was watching the TV show once and a commercial and. About Nair.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so. So I have a sister that falls asleep. Cindy. And you can't wake her up.

[B]

N is hair removal stuff.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when she goes to sleep, she's out. And so when we're going up, I used to move her. And every night I'd go in there about one in the morning. If I get up and pee, I go get her and move her in a different room, drag her in there. So she. For half her life she thinks she's a bad sleepwalker.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But it was always mean putting her in different rooms. Yeah. And I put her outside a couple times, but not a lot, but I would move her.

[B]

I'm starting to see how you eventually ran away from.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It was. It was easy. The door was left open.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

So. So I saw this Nair. So I go and get some Nair and day before high school. I mean, brand new high school for her. She's asleep. I put it in her eyebrows. I thought this would be funny. And so she gets up and she washes her face. They fall off. And she thought.

[A]

She.

[C]

I remember she thought she had cancer. So my mother drew eyebrows on her with a pencil. Wow. So I'd say her first day high school was as apostate because I thought it was comedy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

My father took the tube. My hair was not quite length yet, but it was long. The monkeys. So I looked like the. And he squeezed the whole tube in my hair and rubbed it in so all my hair fell out. Big hunt. I had to wear a toboggan for a year and a half or something. But that's when I said, you'll never touch my hair again. And I didn't cut my hair from ninth grade on until I ran away when Ronnie Borgheski made me cut my hair. But yeah, but it was all because of that Nair in your hair.

[D]

Yeah. You know, I think I'd rather have my eyebrows than the rest of my hair.

[C]

I learned it wasn't as funny as I thought it was.

[B]

How long did it take for her eyebrows to grow back?

[C]

Who? I don't remember. I think it got. Made more money with the pencils. Yeah. I don't.

[B]

Kept shaving it out of that.

[C]

I'm taking these. Keeping these things off and stuff. But it wasn't as funny as I. You know, who thinks about that when you're a kid?

[B]

Pretty funny immediately, but it just keeps, you know, like they now have to live with no eyebrows.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

And I've had my dad hit me in the mouth with a fist a couple times.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But one time was my. All of them probably my fault, but I put a big pan of water on the door and I was. I ran out the back and I was going to run my sisters and him in there and it was going to hit it. Now what I didn't think is a big metal caster castor pan full of water could kill you. I mean, if it had hit her in the head, I really could have. I don't think that. I'm not that smart on my prank. I just thought it'll be funny if the water go hit her. And when I came in, my dad was home. Came home. So I had to yell at him. I go, ho, ho. And he opened the door and that cast iron thing hit him right in the shoulder, right here in the neck. And he just walked right over and knocked me out. I thought I deserved that.

[B]

That makes sense.

[C]

Yeah, it made total sense. So I quit doing that. That trick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You and Dusty have so much in common because he shared stories about. He deserved to get punched a time or two.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I wasn't doing pranks, but I was, you know, drinking and ruining people's lives.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

There's just no fun involved.

[B]

Fun for. Man.

[D]

This wasn't a laugh from anybody else.

[A]

Aaron, did you do pranks?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I was just thinking none of the stuff I ever did was this clever. I. I remember at one time, time I was maybe 19, I thought it'd be funny if I. I don't even know if this constitutes a prank, but I thought it'd be funny if I just started paying with ones everywhere. So I went.

[A]

You went to a strip club and

[C]

it worked out great.

[D]

No, I mean in like everyday life, I. I went to. I think I had a thousand dollars to my name because I'd worked that summer. I got a thousand dollars in one.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

In ones. And I owed a friend 350 bucks, and I paid him back in ones. And he was furious. I don't know. I thought. I thought it'd be funny, and it was funny. Maybe the first time I did it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He's never been a waiter.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. That's true. Yeah. When I worked at Western Citizen, I would have a lot of one.

[D]

But large quantities of ones is funny the first time where they go, it's 350 bucks. And you go, all right.

[B]

Yeah. Pull out a huge bankroll.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That.

[D]

That's the kind of stuff that I like it.

[C]

I like it.

[D]

That. Nothing crazy.

[C]

I would. Pennies would have been better, but, you know.

[B]

Yeah. I've paid people with rolls of coins before. Like, not a tremendous amount of money.

[C]

10 bucks.

[B]

10 bucks.

[D]

There's a roll of quarters because you needed to. This is what I got.

[C]

I'm paying you this with the money I got out on my couch.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

You know, Elon Musk just became the first trillionaire. And Aaron, do you remember, I just looked this up. One of our very first episodes. We talked about money, and we speculated that Jeff Bezos would be the first trillionaire. And then Nate asked the question, like, if you went to the bank and asked for it in ones, would that be all the ones?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a pretty funny thing to think about. I mean, I don't know how many ones there are out there.

[D]

Yeah. There aren't a trillion. One trillion ones.

[A]

And do you remember sharing how if they were all stacked up, how long that would be be?

[D]

I don't remember the distance, but it's an insane amount.

[A]

Yeah, I forget. It was like if it was a. If he had a million ones, it was a little bit longer than a football field.

[B]

Right.

[A]

If it was a billion ones, I think it was 68 miles, and a trillion was like 240,000 miles. Yeah.

[C]

It's around the earth.

[D]

It's insane now. We're closer to Jeff Bezos than Jeff Bezos is to Elon Musk.

[A]

I saw that.

[C]

No way.

[D]

And wealth. Yeah.

[A]

So Aaron does very well.

[D]

So things are looking good.

[A]

When he says way, he means he

[C]

and Lucy killing it out.

[A]

Aaron's number three of the list now. Well, I will say Rarin shows that he's a. A good young man. We were playing a prank on Nick Novicki one time. It was when the. When Covid was going on. We were doing the drive in shows and we were all just walking around after the show, One of these outdoor theaters. And Nick was on his bicycle. And Nate said, nick, I bet you couldn't ride your bicycle all the way down. To some. I can't remember, Undisclosed.

[D]

The end of the parking lot.

[A]

In the parking lot and back. And Nick's like, what? I'll show you right now. He takes off. And Nate says, everybody hide. And we all go. It's nighttime. It's nighttime.

[D]

Everybody left the bus.

[A]

Yeah. We all go hide behind some objects so we can kind of watch. And I'm hiding with Aaron, and Aaron says, I don't feel. I don't really know him that well.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I just remember that's a good. That's a good. You know, he's a good young man that doesn't want to.

[D]

Yeah. Well, Nate and Nick have known each other forever, and they're friends. And to me, I'm just like, why? This is a little person who's basically blind. And we're hiding from him in the dark, and I barely know this guy. And then I'm watching him from a bush. He, like, gets on the bus, and you can see him kind of look around. He's like, I guess everybody left, and he comes off the bus, and he gets his bike and rides off again into the darkness. I was like, somebody tell him we're right here. It was just hard for me to watch Nate's dying, Laughing the whole time. And everybody else says that it was close with him.

[C]

You know, I was with Nick at the win when we were with Nate. A lot of times they'll go play golf, and I take Nick. And so we were getting out of the pool thing, and he walks over, he throws his towel in the garbage can. Thought that's where you put the towel. And I thought about telling him, but instead, I went here and gave him my towel. And he threw it in the trash. I'm hoping somebody's got to see this. They're going to come get him. But it was just a garbage can that went in. So all weekend, he was putting it. His towels in that trash can.

[A]

I feel like you on the cruise, I feel like you and Nick became.

[B]

Now nobody can get a towel. Nobody can get an extra towel. Because they're like, I don't know. People throw right here.

[D]

Ruining everything for everybody.

[A]

You and Nick became this company duo. And.

[C]

And, well, yeah, every time I work with Nick. And that's part of the reason we try to do something together. Nick really likes it, and he'll be the part Of. And Nick is a great actor and stuff, so we can do the same trick over and over, and he can act dumb and stupid every time like he'd never seen it before. Like, the joke's on him, and that's what we do. But of course, it was on him last show and tomorrow. But he plays that part really well. On. On the cruise, we did come up with a gag, a trick that tr. Fooled the whole audience.

[A]

I mean, I think I know what it is, because I think we kind of revealed it on our.

[C]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

Finale. There was another little person on the. On the.

[B]

Did you have another show after that podcast?

[C]

Yes, we did.

[B]

Yeah. Did it mess it.

[C]

Mess it up? Oh, pretty much. A lot of people went, there we go. It wasn't as big as a surprise as everybody thought it was, but I

[D]

bet they were excited to see it.

[C]

Yeah, it was so much fun.

[B]

That was our prank on your trick.

[C]

Yeah. Very good.

[B]

We didn't know it.

[A]

Do you guys enjoy shows like Punk'd or Impractical Jokers and stuff like that?

[D]

I was just thinking about this. I actually liked Impractical Jokers more than other shows like that because it feels like they are always the butt of the joke. They're embarrassing themselves, and they're never, like, humiliating somebody who doesn't even know what's going on.

[A]

Right.

[D]

And that's what I like about it. And that's part of why, like, the Nick thing made me uncomfortable before I really knew him. Where I go, yeah, we're just kind of. If it's your buddy, or if you're the butt of the joke, then I really like it. But it just makes me uncomfortable.

[C]

I don't like to make strangers go up and put a bucket on somebody's head. And I don't want. And magicians are terrible. Like, they will take your scissors up. You're doing a rope, and now your scissors. I don't think none of that's funny. If it's show business and I'm there and you're trying to make me look bad in front of an audience.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But if we're all friends, great. Take the scissors up. But not for a TV show. Anything.

[B]

The pride. Like, just speaking of the bucket on the head, I see this on the Internet sometimes, and I like it where someone will be on an aisle and they'll put a bucket over someone's head and then put a bucket over their own head, and then they kind of pull it off together, like, what happened.

[C]

I like it.

[D]

It.

[C]

Yeah, I like it when like if I put it on Brian's head and then I hand him the bucket and I leave. Oh yeah. No, no.

[A]

What about like I've seen videos of Justin Willman where he'll trick people into thinking they're invisible.

[C]

Yeah. That's an old trick. And, and I, we did that for years.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And as a kid. It's one of my favorite kid tricks that you can do ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And y' all seen those videos. But he did it with adults.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it really, I mean, but it worked bad for that this one guy. But I mean, but you see us three here.

[B]

I don't know the trick.

[C]

I kind of want to know. You're going to love it. But you do it with like a six, seven year old kid. You want a kid kind of gullible enough, not too old. But it also helps to have an older kid with him. So you know, you can do it with a five. Five or six is probably the best. But you have an eight or nine year old boy or girl. And you say, I got this magic blanket or it can be a peak towel or something. And we're going to make Aaron disappear and we're going to make Dusty dis disappear. And it's great to do at Christmas time to get it found. But you, everybody's got to be on it except in on it. Except Aaron.

[D]

Yeah, the crowd's in on it too.

[C]

So I go, all right, and I'm gonna put the towels on. You go 1, 2, 3. When I snap, pull it off. You guys will be invisible. You'll see. You won't be able to see Dusty because he's invisible. Dusty won't be able to see you and, but you can see you. And then, and nobody else will ever see either one of you. And then at the end I'll call you back, get back underneath there. I'll snap my fingers and you'll come back here because. Because the only bad thing can happen is it really scares that kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And he panics and he can tell you what happened on, on, on Justin Wilman show. But so anyway, I put a cover you up. The first thing I do is I cover you up. While I'm covering him up, I'm gonna tap you. You're gonna go hide in a closet. So you're gone in a closet or in the other room and he's standing there. Then I go, 1, 2, 3. I lift his, his off. So he's there, he's looking at you. It's coming off of you. You're not There. So he. I'm sorry. He sees you gone. So it's. The first part's working. You're invisible. And I, I. I always tell him, you can't touch anybody because you touch. If you get scared, touch somebody. You'll be visible because. Because you don't want them to hurt. Go pushing somebody or they give it away. So you say, don't touch anybody or anything. And the whole audience is going, oh, my God, I can't believe he's there there. I can't do that. And you can. I pick up that bottle. And they go, it's floating. But he's believing it because he's gone.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

And then. So you can take it. Don't go too far, too long, whatever you can. Then you bring him back. I cover him up first. You come back in the room. Then I go, 1, 2, 3. I lift his off first, and he's looking over there. When I lift your towel off, you're there now, and he sees you. So they really think for a little minute they wouldn't visit. And he did it with this guy, and he started literally going around stealing stuff out of people's purses. He thought he was invisible, so he'd go over there and go, like, wow. He thought, wow, if I'm invisible, I'm gonna take advantage of it.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Amazing.

[D]

I opened for Justin Wolman once here at Zany's, and I, as the opener, is my responsibility to take the guy outside under some farce. You know, I had to do something with him outside while the bit was explained to the audience.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yeah. So it wasn't that particular guy, but I've done that trick with him, so it's cool to see.

[C]

Yeah, I'm thinking. Done it a hundred times. And that one guy did that. So that's the one they aired.

[B]

You never trust that guy again, though, the guy who started stealing things. If you're at an. At an amusement park, that guy's kicked out, right? You go, we know what will happen if you give you an opportunity, you'll still think you're out of here, buddy.

[C]

I had a friend that had just went to the bathroom. He went in his bathroom, put a camera up, and he filmed the bathroom, the toilet and the sink in his house. And he filmed it for 20 minutes. Then he waits. Somebody goes in there, and he gets on the tv, and when the person comes out, everybody's laughing and they look and they're looking at the bathroom. So they think that they were on TV while they were in there. Were y' all watching me in there? You go. Oh, man. I'm sorry. We won't tell.

[D]

That is crazy, dude.

[A]

That's pretty good.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

A really good one. If. If you have friends that. That read books.

[B]

I don't know that I understand that. He.

[D]

He's got just stock video of his bathroom empty right up in the corner. So the guest will go use the bathroom, come out, but then. So then on the TV is a video of the bathroom. So they think. Were you watching me?

[B]

That's hilarious.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know if you could convince me it was a prank.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, I don't believe any of you. I'm leaving here.

[B]

I took those qtips.

[C]

That would be good.

[A]

Feels so good in my ear.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, the special is called out in

[C]

a minute, out in a minute.

[A]

Is that right?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And shout out to Franklin Theatre.

[B]

How long till it out tomorrow?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Thursday. Right.

[D]

Comes out tomorrow.

[C]

Tomorrow. Thursday.

[A]

June 18th. My wife's birthday.

[C]

And that's all she said she thought today was Monday.

[A]

Well. Oh.

[C]

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, playing that game.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

We're playing a prank on you.

[B]

A bit of a magic trick ourselves.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Playing in that game.

[A]

Yeah. I had another question about it. Now I can't remember what it was, but anyway, go watch it.

[D]

It really is great.

[C]

Yeah, it. It's. It's the best of everything. You really get a flavor of who I am.

[A]

Oh, I know what I was gonna say.

[C]

You can really see the difference between me and Nate. But I do think that you see, if anything, Nate. Nate's a little more dry humor, which is more from my wife. And Derek are more that way. Abigail's more like me, but I'm not that. But I think our timing. Timing. When you see the timing. I think if anything, Nathan learned that from me.

[D]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Let's have Abigail put in the teeth.

[C]

Abigail would. She would wear the teeth in a heartbeat.

[A]

I know what I was gonna say on the special. I'm like, I'll be able to see the tricks because I can rewind it. I can pause. And you're doing sleight of hand. I couldn't even pause it. I can't. I can't see. See it. You're that good.

[C]

I don't know about that, but.

[A]

Or do you use real magic?

[C]

Yeah. Promise you, not that and stuff. I always say people think I do. And I think, like, maybe that to do what I do, you sacrifice cats or something.

[B]

And I just don't like Initially, that's what I thought.

[C]

Yeah. I hate. I hate cats on that joke.

[D]

Yeah. Dusty had to warm up to you, Steven.

[B]

He's.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, I understand magic.

[C]

I understand.

[D]

Do you ever think about going to a part of the world where they believe in magic and, you know, take over the country?

[C]

I've seen it, you know, but here's. Yeah. I've seen you do tricks to some people and somebody. They'll get you decided. Hey, you know, I. We. We have a cousin that's been lost for five years and you just want to go, I did a card. I found your card. I can't find your cousin. Yeah. And then. Or, you know, but then you're like,

[D]

I can help out.

[C]

Yeah. Touch my. So people want to believe.

[B]

Yeah. Stuff.

[C]

But it's all. None of it is. Is. And. And that's part of what I think I do. I want to make sure people understand. Look, I'm just messing with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

We're just doing tricks.

[D]

We're having fun.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Having a good time.

[A]

We've got 30 seconds left. Are angels demons or. I'm sorry, aliens. Demons?

[C]

Some of them are.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I. I don't think I know Steve's. I don't. If there really are aliens, it doesn't change the Bible. To me. It's all. Everything's the same.

[B]

I agree. But they're. I also think I know they are.

[C]

Yeah, they are.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Let me ask you this. Well, we. We. This from the last episode. If you could go back in time to witness any. His major historical event in a time machine, what would you go back and watch?

[A]

Doesn't even have to be a major historical event.

[D]

It can just be anything from your life.

[C]

Oh, golly.

[B]

Would you use time travel for good? That's my. Because I would not. I like to think I would, but the moment I got. Got the power, I would go. It would all be bad.

[A]

I bet on sports.

[C]

Yeah, I would. I always wanted to be Barabbas. I think not. Barabbas, not. But the guy that carried the cross. I think I would go back there and go, I'll volunteer. I'll do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to be the guy that they let out?

[C]

No, I don't want to be brave. I said that. I want to be the guy.

[D]

I want to be the mass murderer.

[C]

I want the guy on the street with the kids to watch the lame guy. I would volunteer for that.

[A]

But they'd be like, this guy's a little weird. He's volunteering.

[D]

That's what Brian said. Too.

[B]

See, I like to think all those things too, that I. If I got time travel, I'd just be a good old guy. But I think I would go. I'd be like that guy that got. I'm invisible now.

[D]

Start going through people's person.

[C]

You've always been invisible. Is. Is the superpower you want.

[A]

Well, we've talked about that, and Dusty's right. He says you'll just immediately start doing.

[B]

I would pick flying because if I could be invisible, I probably, you know, and not initially, eventually, but.

[D]

But what if you could only fly at the speed that you can run?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, still. I mean, does it. Do I get winded?

[D]

Yeah, you get tired just like you do running.

[C]

It'd be like being invisible, but only with no clothes on. That'd be horrible. It's too cold out there. I'm not being invisible today.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like me, it's all about endurance. Like, I'm invisible until I get tired and I start being seen and I'm some awkward position.

[C]

Me. That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah. Invisible. Yeah. The thought that you could only be invisible if you're naked is. That's. Yeah. You're like, I gotta go.

[C]

Florida. That's right.

[B]

I can only be invisible in South Florida.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Arizona, maybe.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, well, I'm sorry you're running the show, but we can.

[B]

Okay. All right. That's the end. All right, well, you got some shows coming up, I'm sure. I'm.

[D]

Thank you for coming by, Stephen. Appreciate it.

[C]

You guys are great, and it's always a pleasure and.

[B]

Yeah. And go watch that. I mean, do you. I. I mean, your show is. I've watched so many years and years,

[C]

and I've watched all of yours. Be nice for you to actually watch.

[B]

I will. I will watch it.

[D]

Well, I think so many people. So many people have either seen you with Nate or heard about you. It's exciting to have a full special. They can go check out, see the whole act. So that's really.

[B]

I legitimately don't watch a lot of standup comedy because I feel like. Like when you watch people, you start to, like, take on things. And I don't want to start. Sound like even my own openers. If I like them and I watch their set, when I take the stage, I notice that maybe no one else notices it, but to me, my cadence will be a little bit like theirs for a second.

[C]

Yeah, I agree.

[D]

So if you watch Stevens or you can start doing.

[B]

I might be doing magic tricks.

[C]

You're going to spit on People, I can. Let me take this water first.

[B]

I already do a little bit of that, but. But, yeah, this is great. You are very funny. I mean, I mean, I didn't know what to think the first time I saw you, and I was like, I, I don't know if maybe the first time I saw you was at Bridgestone

[C]

and I was like. And I just did a kid that was. I hate kids.

[B]

I was excited to be following you because Nate's dad is going to be easy.

[D]

And then I get two standing ovations later.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to tell our dates?

[B]

Yeah. I'll be in Austin, Texas, at the mothership this weekend. What about you?

[D]

This weekend? Hattiesburg, Mississippi, at the Sanger Theater. Come out and see. Is Aaron speaking? June 20 in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, at the Sanger Theater. Come out.

[B]

All right.

[A]

You got any upcoming?

[C]

I'm in Arizona, but in two weeks. But I think. I don't know what it is. I, I, I'm not. Y' all are great. I don't like to look ahead. I don't know. Okay. I do. Abigail, my daughter, does everything. I, I like to know what I'm doing in four days or three days. You go out farther than that. I go, no. But I'm actually having rotator cup surgery on the 30th, so I'm done for a while.

[B]

A prank with a cast iron pan.

[C]

That's right. That's exactly what it was. But my first show back is in August, and it's right when I get all that stuff off, so.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

So the Easier to Drive tour kicks back up this. This week.

[C]

Great hat.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It can almost be called the i65 Tour. All these shows and I have to get on I65 this Saturday.

[C]

But the palace, you do better on 40. Once you do the 40 tour, you're just doing 65 and limit yourself. Go. Next. Change it. Go to the 40. I 40 tour. I'm just helping you there, buddy. I've been.

[A]

That'd be Memphis, Knoxville, but all the way to la. I know. Well, I'm not that big yet. I start with the bypass, the 444.

[D]

65. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Around Indianapolis, Old Hickory Boulevard, and no, this Saturday, I'm at the in Gallatin, Tennessee, at the Palace Theater. Then June 27, I'm in Columbia, Tennessee, at the Packard Playhouse. June 30, I'm at the Opry. July 3, I got a show here at the Lab at Zanes.

[C]

Don't you act like you go singer at Opry.

[A]

Won't you let me finish my pitch?

[C]

No, but you could jump in front of him and that's a great, good kid and you could take that and

[A]

then he wouldn't know.

[C]

That would be a great prank on him when he does it. And they go, the guy last week faked.

[D]

They're calling it the worst show in grand Old Opry history.

[A]

I'm just, I'm just trying to stay at the Oper.

[C]

All right.

[A]

And then July 9th, I'm at Chattanooga at the Comedy Catch. July 17th, 18th in Lexon, Kentucky at Comedy Off Broadway.

[B]

I got one more thing. This is a, this will be on June 24th. It's a new show we're starting here at the Last Lab, sort of, it's called Get Loose, sort of an open mic with some bucket pools but also some booked people. So it's got nine o' clock show. So it's going to be great.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Throw it out. Throw that out there.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Well, anyway, yeah, I'm coming Off Broadway.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

All right, Dusty.

[B]

All right. Hey, thanks for tuning in. This has been the public Figures podcast with Stephen Bargan, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, Dusty Slay. We're having a good time.

[A]

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