245: #245 Virginia featuring Reno Collier

Summary

The Nateland Podcast – Episode #245: Virginia Featuring Reno Collier

Hosts: Nate Bargatze, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slay
Guest: Reno Collier
Release Date: March 26, 2025

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Introduction and Welcome

The episode kicks off with the usual camaraderie among the hosts—Nate Bargatze, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slay—all joined by guest Reno Collier, who fills in for Nate. The hosts engage in light-hearted banter about Reno's persona and stage presence, setting an inviting and relaxed tone for the episode.

Reno Collier’s Transformation and Early Career

Reno Collier opens up about his personal journey, notably his transformation over the years. The hosts reminisce about Reno’s earlier days, referencing his struggles with alcohol and his "glow up."

Reno Collier [02:34]:
"I had a little alcohol problem. Kind of blew me up. Like, I got stung by bees, and I had no neck. I just had, like, my head."

Reno candidly discusses overcoming alcoholism and how it reshaped his life and career. The conversation highlights his dedication to comedy and his commitment to personal growth.

Soldier Child Golf Tournament: Fundraising and Fun

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the Soldier Child Golf Tournament, an event Reno hosts to support children who have lost their parents or have military connections. The hosts delve into stories from past tournaments, including humorous anecdotes about bending the rules to win.

Brian Bates [10:49]:
"So, you’re raising money for these kids. Now, Brian, go ahead and tell him what happened."

Reno explains the tournament’s format and his realization of its positive impact, moving from ego-driven participation to genuine support for a worthy cause.

Anecdotes with Larry the Cable Guy and Cletus T. Judd

The conversation takes a humorous turn as Reno shares his experiences interacting with Larry the Cable Guy and comedian Cletus T. Judd. These stories illustrate the tight-knit nature of the comedy community and the playful misunderstandings that occur.

Reno Collier [17:09]:
"I've gone to the bathroom three times since we've been sitting here. Are you allowed to say that?"

The hosts laugh over mistaken identities and the camaraderie shared among comedians, showcasing Reno's affable nature and the fun dynamics on stage.

Book Promotion: "Country Fried Takes"

Reno promotes his book, "Country Fried Takes," which blends comedy with personal recipes, offering fans a glimpse into his life beyond the stage.

Reno Collier [44:24]:
"It's called Country Fried Takes. It’s also got a bunch of recipes in the back, like ribs and steaks and chili and spaghetti sauce."

The book serves as a bridge between Reno’s comedic talents and his passion for cooking, appealing to a broad audience.

Upcoming Shows and Personal Updates

The hosts share updates about their recent performances and upcoming shows. Brian Bates details his local shows in Tennessee, Dusty Slay discusses his experiences in Texas and San Antonio, and Reno Collier talks about his tours, including reunions with Larry the Cable Guy.

Brian Bates [27:09]:
"We don't have time for all your credits."

Dusty Slay [30:57]:
"My wife and kids went, you know what my daughter… she was like…"

These segments highlight the busy lives of the hosts and their dedication to entertaining audiences across various locations.

Listener Comments and Interactive Banter

The episode features an engaging segment where the hosts read and respond to listener comments from platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. This interaction fosters a sense of community and allows the hosts to address fan feedback humorously.

Dusty Slay [56:02]:
"I think you gotta go knifel. You don't put the K in there like that."

Reno Collier [56:22]:
"Yes, I was one."

The playful exchanges over misspelled names and humorous observations keep the conversation lively and relatable.

Sponsorship Breaks: Cremo, Delete Me, IQ Bar, and Laundry Sauce

Throughout the episode, the hosts take brief moments to acknowledge their sponsors, seamlessly integrating product promotions into the conversation without disrupting the flow.

Nate Bargatze [14:05]:
"Cremo's deodorant is designed to provide men with 48 hour odor protection."

Brian Bates [66:25]:
"IQ Bar is the better for you. Plant proteins. Protein based snacks…"

These sponsorship segments provide valuable information to listeners while maintaining the show's engaging atmosphere.

Discussions on Virginia: Culture, History, and Local Insights

As the title suggests, a significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Virginia's rich history, cultural diversity, and local quirks. The hosts and Reno share anecdotes about living in Virginia, the impact of military bases on the state's culture, and humorous takes on local festivals and traditions.

Reno Collier [94:53]:
"Because the HOA find you. So it's more than peer pressure."

Brian Bates [96:00]:
"Virginia is the most populated state in the country that doesn't have a pro sports team. Major league sports team."

These conversations offer listeners both educational insights and entertaining stories about Virginia, enriching the episode's content.

Conclusion and Sign-Off

The episode wraps up with heartfelt goodbyes and reminders of upcoming events. Reno thanks the hosts, and the group reiterates their appreciation for the listeners' support. The hosts briefly mention their personal projects and invite fans to join their future shows.

Brian Bates [122:11]:
"It was a lot of fun, Reno. Thank you, dude."

Reno Collier [122:18]:
"Thank you, Brian. It's good to see you guys."

Key Takeaways and Memorable Quotes

• Reno on Personal Growth:
  "I had a little alcohol problem. Kind of blew me up." [02:34]

• Golf Tournament Ethics:
  "And we shot a 51. We win the grills. And it's like, we're not here for you." [11:57]

• Anecdote with Larry the Cable Guy:
  "He'd be watching that show, and Peter Griffin would come on and, like, he was chasing a chicken, and he kept rewinding like, look at Reno." [04:43]

• Book Promotion:
  "If you look in it, there's no writing on that side." [44:51]

• Virginia's Unique Culture:
  "Virginia's been doing that forever. Virginia's known for ham." [104:07]

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Episode Highlights:

• Personal anecdotes from Reno Collier about overcoming alcoholism and his transformation.
• Humorous stories involving interactions with well-known comedians like Larry the Cable Guy.
• Insightful discussions on fundraising efforts for the Soldier Child Golf Tournament.
• Engaging listener interactions and humorous banter among the hosts.
• Promotions of Reno’s book and various sponsors seamlessly integrated into the conversation.
• In-depth conversations about Virginia’s culture, history, and local peculiarities.

This episode of The Nateland Podcast offers a blend of heartfelt moments, humor, and insightful discussions, making it a captivating listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Nate Bargettze]

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[Brian Bates]

Hello, folks, and hey, bear.

[Reno Collier]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I'm Brian Bates. As always, Dusty slay. Aaron Weber. And sitting in for Nate, the lovely Reno Collier.

[Reno Collier]

Dang, lovely. Right on. I never hear that.

[Dusty Slay]

I've always heard that way. I've never heard him say that about anyone.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I've never felt it till right now.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, you don't strike me as a guy, Reno. When the host asks you, what do you, you know, what should I say about you? You don't give them a whole lot, do you? No, you just say, just bring me out there. I'll do my thing.

[Reno Collier]

Let's go. Yeah, they don't know anyway.

[Dusty Slay]

And then you come out to isn't she lovely? By gosh, I can't think of it.

[Reno Collier]

Stevie Wonder. Yeah. Yeah. I. I don't. I don' the long. I don't want him to have too much of a expectation.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

You know.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Brian Dorfman told me one time, he goes, dude, you have more credits than seats you can sell. Yeah. So I'm like, just say my name. Let's go. Let's end it. And it was one of those times where it's like, he was kidding, but at the same time, I was kind of like, he's really not that far off rooted.

[Dusty Slay]

And the host is reading off the credits on stage. The audience is going, who is this?

[Reno Collier]

Well, especially even if they know who I am, I don't look the same as I did.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

You know what I mean? It's been a minute.

[Nate Bargettze]

I wanted to talk about that because Nate gets a lot of credit. People mention it all the time. The glow up, they call it, how he looks now versus how he used to look. But I think you. I mean, because I met you, how you look, how you look now. But I knew of you when you used to. I mean, I remember. I don't know the polite way of saying this. Yeah, you look great. You look great now, is what I'm trying to say.

[Dusty Slay]

Talk about washing with a shampoo bottle. Yeah, I remember that.

[Reno Collier]

I had. I Ran into a little alcohol problem. Kind of blew me up. Like, I got stung by bees, and I had no neck. I just had, like, my head. There you go. Like, yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

So this is the Reno that I knew before I met you. And it's hard to. I mean, it doesn't even look like the same guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Now, who is the girl you said you look like off a TV show?

[Reno Collier]

Natalie from the Facts of Life. I did, dude. Well, there was, like, Marcia Brady was at that roast, and there were all these people, and no one knew who I was. And I was like, I'm just gonna.

[Brian Bates]

Larry the Cable Guy roast.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Yeah. And good God, dude. I was doughy. Really doughy.

[Nate Bargettze]

You look like a good time, though.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, I was a blast.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

I don't remember any of them, but I was freaking fun. People told me all the time on my apology tour the next morning, walking around, did I do anything to you? Did I say anything to you? You know, you were so much fun.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I've been there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Except with me, they were like, yeah, you did.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, me too. Me too. The thing is, when you look like the Gerber baby, people don't get real mad at you. You know, they're like, he just wants some mushy pee. Look at him. He's okay. He didn't mean it, did he?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know.

[Reno Collier]

The Reno.

[Brian Bates]

The Reno Collier catalog that well. But back in the day when you were a little bit bigger, such a lovable. It was a little Chris Farley.

[Reno Collier]

Like, just.

[Brian Bates]

This guy's goofy. He's funny. You had this joke about. I can't really give the punchline. Cause this is a clean podcast. But it was so funny about. Your softball team was terrible. So.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, the church softball team.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

That was a true thing.

[Brian Bates]

You wanted to call your team off constantly.

[Reno Collier]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And it's a funny joke, dude.

[Reno Collier]

Look at that.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Reno Collier]

I look like I drive a Subaru and have a freaking kayak on top of it.

[Dusty Slay]

You look like Peter Griffin.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, that's what cable guy. He goes, if they ever do. Especially with glasses on, he goes, if they ever do a live action, he would. What? It would make me so mad. He'd be watching that show, and Peter Griffin would come on and, like, he was chasing a chicken, and he kept rewinding like, look at Reno.

[Nate Bargettze]

Look at him.

[Dusty Slay]

You know?

[Reno Collier]

I did. Dude. I was. I don't. Yeah. I was so hungry, and it looks like I don't have any teeth.

[Dusty Slay]

Not bottom teeth.

[Reno Collier]

No, the bottom teeth were gone.

[Dusty Slay]

It's dipping.

[Nate Bargettze]

It'll do that, man.

[Reno Collier]

I have no teeth and. But apparently somebody did my hair before that, because that's some.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What is this from?

[Nate Bargettze]

The hair looks good there.

[Reno Collier]

That's from blue collar Next generation. That is a good head of hair. Now it's not there anymore, but. Yeah, that was a good head of hair on top of that meatball. I loved it, though.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

It was so much fun.

[Brian Bates]

The drinking.

[Reno Collier]

Well, that was really fun until it just wasn't. Yeah, but it was great, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

If you can do it right, it's really a good time.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I always say. If you can. I. I'm jealous of people that can do it. Right.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I can't.

[Reno Collier]

I can't either. I can't either. If I could just do a little bit of anything, I'd be a much better human being.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

But it's like, you know, most companies can't. No, no. And I quit drinking, but now I'll eat a whole pizza. Like, it doesn't. I can't have a piece of anything. It's like, if one's good, tens better. Let's go.

[Nate Bargettze]

And then, like, an oven pizza. Frozen pizza. Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, that's small.

[Nate Bargettze]

Demolish those.

[Dusty Slay]

You plan to eat one of those.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. And then I think this is just a flat bread.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

That's six feet by four feet.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I remember at Aaron's wedding, we were sitting at the same table, and you played a joke in your wife that we all quickly got in on, telling her that a guy at another table was one of the backstreet Boys.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, I'm bored. I don't drink.

[Brian Bates]

And he turned to me and he.

[Nate Bargettze]

Was like, our wedding was boring.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

No, no, dude, I'm boring now. No, no, I'm kidding.

[Brian Bates]

But it was so funny. You turned me like Brian Teller, and I was like, yeah, that's him. He had a jacket like Nate wears that's, you know, not from around here.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, I see how it works when Nate. Nate's not here. We have a good time. Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

He had a jacket on.

[Dusty Slay]

I love how you put that. A jacket that's not from a round chair.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Straight from Hollywood.

[Reno Collier]

That's great.

[Brian Bates]

So, anyway, yeah, it was fun. You know, I have a story about you in my act. Did I tell something?

[Nate Bargettze]

Who was the guy that you were trying to convince? Everybody. Like, my uncle or something. Who was it? Just random.

[Reno Collier]

Like a shiny.

[Brian Bates]

It was Eddie Cisneros.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay. That makes a lot of sense.

[Dusty Slay]

Eddie would have probably went along with it.

[Nate Bargettze]

He would have done it for sure. Oh.

[Brian Bates]

I told him later, and he thought it was hilarious.

[Reno Collier]

My wife gets starstruck and there were. You know, she was like, oh, my gosh, this is so much fun. I'm like, you're not kidding, man. One of the backstreet voices here.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

She's like, what? And I go, don't talk to him. Like, don't say anything because he doesn't want anybody to bother him. She's like, which one is he? I'm like, that. You know who it is right there. I had no idea. I couldn't name a Backstreet Boy with a gun to my head. But. But for that day, your boy was.

[Brian Bates]

It was kind of perfect. His back was to us, so you couldn't get a good view of him. And, I mean, she was playing along.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

She didn't know she was, but yeah. Yeah, it was good. You had a great wedding, man.

[Nate Bargettze]

Thanks, man.

[Reno Collier]

It had a lot of.

[Dusty Slay]

It was a great wedding.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. It was nice.

[Brian Bates]

When I was going to say, because I played in Soldier Child golf tournament.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, my gosh. I know what you're talking about. This was hysterical.

[Brian Bates]

Three times you played in it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Once I did, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then, you know, I haven't done the last couple years because you. It's always on Mondays, and that's when we do the podcast. But I had a couple of incidents happen there. The first year I played, we were winning, and it was my first time there. I was nervous.

[Nate Bargettze]

Were you contributing to the win? No, it was just a good group.

[Brian Bates]

I just got matched up with a great group, and we're dominating.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

And we're gonna.

[Brian Bates]

We're gonna win. And I go in, I've never been there before. And the director, I can't think of.

[Reno Collier]

His name, Daryl Mackin, he pulls me.

[Brian Bates]

Aside, he's like, can I have a word with you? And takes me to another room.

[Reno Collier]

Wow, dude, this is awesome.

[Brian Bates]

And he's like, it's. I've been told that your team. Well, I gotta accuse a couple things. One, picking up the ball like. Like, you know, like cheating, basically.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, you know, like, you of all people. The guy, he wasn't accusing me directly.

[Brian Bates]

He know. He knew. Like, this guy's not with these guys. So if anybody.

[Reno Collier]

No, Brian didn't.

[Dusty Slay]

He had some snitch energy.

[Reno Collier]

That's my guy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

So it's a best ball scramble.

[Reno Collier]

Right.

[Nate Bargettze]

The way it works. So everybody hits, and then whoever has the best shot, everybody else shoots from that place.

[Reno Collier]

And every. Everybody gets a celebrity on their Team. And Brian was a celebrity on that team.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Reno Collier]

But the group that he was with. First of all, this is. This is. This is an organization called a. It's. It's not. I host. It's not my golf tournament. I host it, but it's. It's for a group called a soldier Shop.

[Nate Bargettze]

You're the heart of it.

[Reno Collier]

I tried it. Well, that. I'm proud of it. What was weird was back in those days, like, when I was on TV and stuff all the time, I. I did it out of ego. Like, I was like, well, cable guy's got a golf tournament. I want a golf tournament. And I just go and get hammered, and there's everything for it. When I sobered up, I realized what a beautiful organization it is. What we do is any kid that's lost their parent, that's in the military from however, you know, it started off with guys overseas, and then it's grown into. Guys have trouble when they come back home and kids are left. So we put on a birthday party for them through their 18th birthday in honor of their parent. And there are summer camps where a lot of our kids now, who started out as little kids going to the camps are now the counselors.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's awesome.

[Reno Collier]

So if you lose a parent and you're sitting in a classroom, nobody knows what you're going through. But these kids are on the same boat, and we try to get them to open up and laugh and all that stuff. So this golf tournament is for that, right? So you're thinking about this. This is to raise money. Now, Brian, go ahead and tell him what happened.

[Brian Bates]

So he keeps asking me, did you guys do this, do that? And we literally, to my knowledge, did not do that. We didn't do anything that I saw that was illegal. But he. I. I mean, I'm. Fuck. I'm trying to give him something because he keeps. And I said, you know, we.

[Reno Collier]

We.

[Brian Bates]

You know, we took mulligans. And he was like, what? No, you can't. You can't do a mulligan. And we, like, somehow we got in our head. I didn't know. Every guy in the scramble, which was five of us, gets one mulligan. And we took full advantage of it.

[Reno Collier]

And they shot like. Par is 72. They shot like a 51.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And I'm like, who cheats? We're raising money for these kids. And poor Brian is stand. Brian has been so loyal. Like, he would come. And then another time you got there and they messed up your team or something.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yes.

[Reno Collier]

And they had to drive him in a cart. And Brian's standing out in the middle of the course, like, waving at me like, I don't know what you're. I'm like, the poor guy, like, does everything he can to get to this thing. Then he gets on a team with a bunch of dude.

[Nate Bargettze]

We have.

[Reno Collier]

We shot a 51. We win the grills. And it's like, we're not here for you. There are kids that were raised who cheats in something like that. That's like stealing out of the plate at church.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, so what. What do you get by winning? You. You.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, you win. So people will donate, like, grills or chainsaw.

[Nate Bargettze]

There's, like, really cool prizes.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, the prizes are really cool. And.

[Nate Bargettze]

And it's the. It's the glory of winning.

[Dusty Slay]

But first prize is a grill. What's second prize?

[Reno Collier]

The second prize is pretty good. By the time you get the third prize, it's a lot of booze. And.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Which was one year. I don't know why I'm making fun of these guys for cheating. I was handing out the winners and everything, and somebody won a bottle of Jack. And I opened it up and slugged a quarter of it in front of everybody. I get done. I was like. I was trying to, you know, amp everybody up for the auction. And Dale's like, the auction was over an hour ago. I'm like, oh, well, can somebody drive me? Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So then. So then another year, I forgot about getting left, like, because you start off, shotgun start. They're like, everyone, your hole is 14 or whatever.

[Nate Bargettze]

Right? Right. They stagger. Everybody and everyone go to your hole.

[Brian Bates]

So I'm driving out there.

[Dusty Slay]

I just love the idea of cool alcohol. Things to you that are cool, but to no one else.

[Reno Collier]

No one else. I literally took it out of her basket.

[Dusty Slay]

You're like, I'm about to slam half of this. Everybody else is like, this guy has issues.

[Nate Bargettze]

Because in your head, they're like, this is going to.

[Reno Collier]

So awesome. Yeah, in my head, like, man, these guys know who I am. I'm gonna throw down. You want to party? I will show you how to party, you know? And then.

[Dusty Slay]

And they're like, take the kids to the car.

[Reno Collier]

And it was in a basket with, like, plastic over, like. And I just muffled through it.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm like.

[Nate Bargettze]

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[Dusty Slay]

That's top of the line.

[Nate Bargettze]

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[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

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[Dusty Slay]

Ah, yeah, it's so good.

[Nate Bargettze]

Also got Palo Santo. It's a deep, smoky, refined.

[Dusty Slay]

Deep and smoky. That's how I smell.

[Nate Bargettze]

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[Dusty Slay]

Come on.

[Nate Bargettze]

Bright cardamom and dry papyrus.

[Dusty Slay]

That's me in a bottle.

[Nate Bargettze]

I gave the deodorant a try. I've never been a cologne guy, but I got some of their cologne. I've been throwing that on.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

It. And people, People like.

[Dusty Slay]

People like it.

[Nate Bargettze]

I like it.

[Dusty Slay]

People never like me in cologne.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, you haven't tried Cremo, and that is right. And man, you got to check it out. It's just good stuff. Let's face it. We deserve grooming products from a company with high standards. And that's what Cremo does, and that's what they have. Head to target or target.com to find Cremo's new line of antiperspirants and deodorants in the Italian Bergamont and Palosanto scents. Once again, that's Target or target dot com.

[Reno Collier]

There's so many things that when I look back at my life and I go, I should not have been allowed to do that. Like, I shouldn't have been. The first time, like with cable guy, his first arena show, we're in Raleigh, there's like 18,000 people, right? Packed out. He's like so excited. I'm out in the parking lot getting drunk with some politician I'm arguing with. I don't even know who he was. And they go, reno, you gotta come in, right? You're going up. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I go up. I do 20 minutes and I go, thank you. Good night. And I walk off stage and I'M high five. And I'm like, dude, I killed. And cable guy looks at me and goes, you didn't bring me up. Like, I did. Like, it was my show. I did 20 minutes to open the show. I walk off. I never introduced him. Thank you, guys.

[Nate Bargettze]

Drive saves. That was it.

[Reno Collier]

150 bucks for my 20 minutes. I'm out. And he never fired me. Yeah, we're going back out with him. I mean, he should have fired me every day.

[Brian Bates]

What did you do in that?

[Reno Collier]

Yes, he should.

[Brian Bates]

In that instance, what did you. Did you go back up?

[Reno Collier]

No, he just walked down. Start now. They started playing Jerry Reed and then he went up and yeah, he thought it was funny afterwards, thank God. But there's not another comedian that I know of that would not have. I mean, he was nervous. His first ever arena show, he's freaking out. He can't find me, first of all, because I'm out there. Like, you don't know taxes. I'll tell you, tax. I don't. I don't even know what. I'm just a mess.

[Brian Bates]

All right, so cable guy.

[Reno Collier]

By the way, I keep talking about, I have so much flannel in my fingernails from riding that dude's coattails. Every movie I'm in, it's like, hey, who else was in it? Larry the Cable Guy. What about that other one? Larry the Cable Guy?

[Nate Bargettze]

Really?

[Reno Collier]

What about that rope? Larry the Cable Guy? Like, it's like, I want to say somebody else, but I got nothing.

[Brian Bates]

That's how you got on this podcast.

[Reno Collier]

I know you reached out, you made.

[Nate Bargettze]

A call, you ripped the sleeves off.

[Reno Collier]

I was gonna go out there with no shirt and just flannel sleeves.

[Brian Bates]

That would be great.

[Reno Collier]

Well, they're laying on the buzz, you.

[Nate Bargettze]

Know, but I'm glad you brought them up because the next story.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, so the next story, that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I remember driving to the tournament this time and I'm like, I don't know why. I'm like, I wonder if Larry the Cable Guy will be there today. I mean, it seems like it was a pretty good assumption based career, but he had never been there the previous year. So I don't know why this time I was thinking, I bet he's gonna be out there. And we get out there and we're waiting to tee off. And it's always a little slow at first because everyone's kind of backed up. And I see a guy over there, I'm like, there's Larry the Cable Guy. And I'm like, I'm go talk to him.

[Reno Collier]

He just.

[Brian Bates]

And I went over, and I started talking to him, and he's got a sunglass on his hat. And, I mean, he could not have been nicer. I'm like, this dude is so down to earth. And he's great. He act like we're old friends, you know? And I'm like, he's the best. And I was about to name drop Nate, as I tend to do every time I meet a celebrity. Before I could, he was like, man, I'd love to meet Nate.

[Reno Collier]

I have flannel on my fingernails. You have jackets that aren't from here.

[Brian Bates]

Exactly, exactly. And he's like, I'd love to meet Nate. And I was like, y'all never met? He's like, no. And I'm like, man, you should come on our podcast. Let me give you Nate's number. And I'm thinking, this is great, man. And then we keep talking. I'm like, I don't know if this is Larry the Cable guy. I think this might just be a fan. And I keep asking him questions, you know, to try to figure out if it's him or not. I'm like, I've given him all of Nate's personal information.

[Reno Collier]

And it gets better.

[Brian Bates]

I avoided the guy the rest of the day because I'm like, I'll give him Nate's Social Security number if I'm not careful. I gotta stop. So I just skipped the soldier child. Sorry, kids. I'm out of here.

[Reno Collier]

Dude. First of all, in between all that, Cletus comes over to me and goes, man, I'm going on Nate Lane's podcast. And I go, what?

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

I just talked to Brian. He invited me to come on. He goes, I'm so glad I came up here. I'm like, well, I'm glad you did, too.

[Brian Bates]

All right. So that. So it ended up being Cletus T. Judd.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Who's a very funny comedian who act like we're old friends because we are devoke. Anything alike. No.

[Dusty Slay]

But I don't know. There's a little something.

[Nate Bargettze]

I see it.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. It's not like it was.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think he was dressed like this, that he had on, like, ugly sunglasses. Right.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's not like it was Arsenio hall or something. I mean, it was.

[Reno Collier]

It looks like Larry the Cable Guy, if he became a hairdresser. Larry the Cutter guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Man.

[Reno Collier]

Cletus was so excited, man. This is going to be awesome. I was like, that's great, dude. That's why you come to things like this. You never know who you're going to meet. I mean, it just kind of. Cletus is one of the sweetest dudes, though. And when he found out about it, he's like, man, he thought I was Larry the cable.

[Brian Bates]

Well, we. We got to have him on.

[Nate Bargettze]

We should have him on.

[Dusty Slay]

We should. Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Did he have jud on his hat like in these pictures when you met him?

[Reno Collier]

Brian's like, I like Wiona, too. I don't.

[Brian Bates]

Who's your favorite W or Naomi? I like Ashley myself.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like a David Cross, Larry the cable guy combo, which would have been fantastic.

[Brian Bates]

I think that's why people say you are.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, probably. You say it looked like, was it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Fun to levy that against somebody else?

[Dusty Slay]

It was. Yeah, it was.

[Nate Bargettze]

He looks like Walmart Billy Ray.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's exactly what he was wearing. That's him.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, hey, get her done.

[Brian Bates]

I'm surprised I didn't say that to him, dude.

[Reno Collier]

That Brian, that was so.

[Nate Bargettze]

Dude, if you hit him with a. Get her done. Get her.

[Reno Collier]

He's like, what?

[Brian Bates]

He's like, hit him straight. I'm like, get her done.

[Reno Collier]

Did you.

[Dusty Slay]

You revealed to him that day that you thought he was Larry?

[Brian Bates]

No, I didn't know till I got home that night and I texted Reno. I was like, hey, who's the celebrity in the group in front of us? He was like, it's clear. See, Judd, you idiot. I'm like, oh, never mind.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I remember you telling that story, but that's so fun.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I called Nate immediately on the course and said, hey, are you friends with Larry the cable guy? He's like, oh, yeah, Good friends. I was like, oh, boy. And I told him what happened. He was like, you couldn't recognize one of the most recognizable faces, all stand up comedy. And I'm like, apparently not.

[Reno Collier]

I just met Larry the cable guy. He's got this great song. He sings like Shania Twain. It's the most amazing thing you've ever.

[Brian Bates]

Dude.

[Reno Collier]

Cletus, honestly, is one of the sweetest guys. Like, he. He really is a good dude. And he wasn't mad at you or anything. It was just so funny because, you know, like, people get excited about anything with Nate, you know, and you guys, it's like, oh, man, this is going to be freaking awesome. And then, you know, I really enjoyed.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I mean, Cletus is such a much bigger deal than me that if anybody should be getting something mixed up, it should have been him about me.

[Reno Collier]

No, dude. But he's look straight out of Retirement. I love him, dude. He was. He was at my house. He stays at my house, like, for the thing. And Tom Mabe. You know, Tom, maybe. Yeah, so Tom stayed at my house, too, because, you know, they're from out of town, so they're both there. Tom is ocd. Like, my wife loves when he comes to the house because he fixes all the pictures, he straightens everything, and he walks around, but he's like, elf. Like, he doesn't go to bed. Like, it was, like, time to go to bed. And I'm like, all right, good night, Tom. He's like, all right, good night. I go in my bedroom, I come out, like, eight hours later. He's in the same clothes, sitting in the same chair, like, hey, man, what's going on? And I'm like, do you sleep, dude? He's all over the place. So at one point, my wife makes fun of us because she says, anytime comics get in our house, we all go to get into this. Like, one up.

[Nate Bargettze]

They.

[Reno Collier]

Well, I'll tell you a story, and I'll tell you. So it's just flying around the whole night, and Tom starts telling these stories about Cato Kalin, and he's friends with. It was just bizarre. And so, out of nowhere, Cletus walks over to my wife and goes, I want to be honest about Tom. I don't think we can help him.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know, Tom. I don't think it.

[Reno Collier]

He. Dude, he's. He's.

[Brian Bates]

He's out of Cincinnati. Louisville.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. He is the original prank guy. He had, like, he's. He. The stuff he does to people. I don't know how he's still alive. Like, I love him, but he goes downtown Louisville and will sit in a bus, like a. In a. Where the bus stop is, and he has a. His phone beside him, and he acts like he's asleep. And people walk by and they see it, and then they wait until he's not paying attention, they try to steal it, and they start running away, and it's a Taser. He freaking lights him up. Like, stuff like that. Yeah, he bought a horse and buggy. Like, went out and bought it, got a horse and dressed up like he was Amish and was driving through. Riding it through people's neighborhoods with a map, like, with a Domino's pizza delivery thing on top of it. Like, there's something off where you have.

[Brian Bates]

To be to be able to do that stuff.

[Nate Bargettze]

One of his best known pranks involved convincing a telemarketer that he had inadvert Called the scene of a homicide.

[Reno Collier]

Dude, that's one of the funniest phone calls I've ever heard in my life.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, I got to listen to this.

[Reno Collier]

It's hysterical. Yeah, he has. He has no. No fear. Like, I don't have that. Like, I. I don't want to get punched in the face. Like, I don't. Yeah, he just doesn't.

[Dusty Slay]

I hate a prank.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't mind watching it necessarily, but I don't want to be in. Like, if I had been at your table and you were trying to prank your wife about. I would be. I can't do it. I can't be.

[Nate Bargettze]

You couldn't have lied to her face?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I can't do it, but.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, nobody would check with you about the Backstreet Boys. If they said he was in the Oak Ridge Boys, they would ask you about it.

[Reno Collier]

Hey, Dusty, do you have that Backstreet Boys T shirt on? Let's see which one it is.

[Brian Bates]

But with me, I think I confirmed it for her. She's like, if anybody would know, it'd be this guy.

[Nate Bargettze]

Listen to this. 2013, May created a prank video in which he and several accomplices convinced a mutual friend with a history of multiple DUIs that he had just awoken from a 10 year coma resulting from a drunk driving crash.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Reno Collier]

Have you ever seen the video? No. Oh, dude. The guy loses his mind. Like, he's blackout drunk. They turn his. They turn an office into a hospital room and the guy's blacked out. And they carry him up and they put him in the bed. And then the people are. They have actors as like nurses and stuff like that. And they come in and he has kids. Like, they're like, you've been out for 10 years. And the guy's like, man, you gotta be kidding me. What are you talking about? It was great.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, my goodness. Ten year. Come on.

[Reno Collier]

Can you imagine? Like, you wake up hungover and it's like you've been out for 10 years.

[Nate Bargettze]

Ah, yeah, she kind of nice.

[Brian Bates]

Let me share a little Nateland news with you guys. The Nashville Comedy Festival is coming up Reno, April 8th at the Ryman Auditorium. Nateland presents Good Clean Funny with Ryan Hamilton, Dustin Nickerson, Derek Stroop, Lace Larby, Mia Jackson, Paula Kozinski. Kosinski. And special host Aaron Weber.

[Reno Collier]

Attaboy.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, man, it's gonna be fun.

[Reno Collier]

You want to sell an extra 20 tickets? You can put my name on there.

[Brian Bates]

We don't have time for all your credits.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, I'll be 25 credits and 20. Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

I'll be cleaning up dip cups on a tour bus.

[Brian Bates]

And our buddy Nick Thune has a brand new half hour special from Nateland called Born Young. It premiered, what, what, two, three weeks ago?

[Nate Bargettze]

Two, three weeks ago? Dude, it's so funny. Nick's the best. He just did Mark Marin's podcast, I think came out today or yesterday, so. Yeah, dude, go watch it. Go check it out.

[Brian Bates]

And the Consumers with Greg Warren every Tuesday. Don't make me come back there. Dustin Nickerson every Thursday. Check out those podcasts as well. So let's get into our weekend. I. I was home for the most part. I did a show local in my hometown of Lebanon, Tennessee, for the Capitol Theater for organization called Everyone's Wilson Fundraiser Show. Met some folks there. It was great. Folks, was it a fundraiser for Met somebody?

[Nate Bargettze]

Is it a fundraiser for Wilson County? It's everyone's Wilson County.

[Dusty Slay]

Everyone's volleyballs.

[Nate Bargettze]

For the guy from Home Improvement. What was it?

[Brian Bates]

It's everyone's Wilson is everyone should be included. On prosperity in Wilson County. It's churches that come together to do food drives, a variety of things. So it's a lot of. A lot of pastors and businesses that donate and things like that.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's a good cause.

[Brian Bates]

Great cause. I complained about so many people moving to Wilson county that I'm starting. Not everyone's Wilson to counter them.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. So most people are Wilson.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, exactly.

[Reno Collier]

I'm going to do everything's Rutherford. It's just a bunch of chicken shacks and Applebee's. Yeah. Manufactured home doesn't roll off the top. It doesn't. Everybody's Rutherford. Rutherford. It doesn't. That's horrible.

[Dusty Slay]

And you don't think it's anything else?

[Reno Collier]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

You're not. You're not. Like what Wilson?

[Reno Collier]

It's so vague, though, that it just sounds like it's important. Not the Wilson, but rather for like every. I know the mayor. He built my house.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Like everybody. Everybody's Rutherford.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

What's the name of the show? Everybody's Rutherford.

[Dusty Slay]

And everybody from Rutherford's there.

[Reno Collier]

And everybody's there.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And if you're a part of it, you better be there because it's you.

[Nate Bargettze]

Because you are Rutherford.

[Reno Collier]

You are Rutherford.

[Nate Bargettze]

How'd the show go, bro?

[Brian Bates]

Right? Show was great. A lot of fun. The mayor of Wilson county spoke before me, and I know him. I'm friends with him because he was a teacher and a coach at my high school when I was growing up.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, cool.

[Brian Bates]

So it was good to see alive.

[Nate Bargettze]

Baseball coach or your coach?

[Brian Bates]

He's not much older than I am.

[Nate Bargettze]

Your coach?

[Brian Bates]

No, he coached basketball at Web High School.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Did you swipe a couple of those things?

[Nate Bargettze]

I did. I stole a couple of those laundry.

[Brian Bates]

Probably haven't even got to it yet.

[Reno Collier]

But I thought they were shots. That's what it looks like.

[Nate Bargettze]

It looks like bourbon.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, you could just kind of.

[Nate Bargettze]

Here we go. Back off the wagon, fellas. Let's get into it.

[Reno Collier]

I hope this is so.

[Brian Bates]

But anyway, some of the rest of you. My daughter turned three this weekend. We had a big birthday party for Dusty's kids. Came crashing.

[Dusty Slay]

My wife and kids went, you know what my daughter. My wife said when my daughter got in the car? She goes. She was like, whoo, that was a good birthday party.

[Nate Bargettze]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

She texted us that. We love that. Yeah, yeah, I've changed a little bit.

[Reno Collier]

Just.

[Brian Bates]

I've even left out birthday. Just. She says that was a good party.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. Yeah, that could have been it. That could have been what she said.

[Nate Bargettze]

What you do? Did you do. Do you have a clown or something?

[Brian Bates]

No, just me. But we had Bubbles. Bubbles were a big hit. Bubble guns.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, bubble guns.

[Brian Bates]

Both of his kids took home a bubble gun.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's fine.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, that's like rapid fire. I'm out there with a little wand doing a musket.

[Nate Bargettze]

You're just getting lit up.

[Brian Bates]

I'm just getting lit up, AK Yeah. And then, you know, just some pizza and chicken nuggets and that's all you need. His kid ate an apple. But the rest of the kids, you know, that's right. Have some fun.

[Reno Collier]

That's a good kid.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's a lot of sugar, though.

[Reno Collier]

So if you ever want to irritate sugar though. If your kids like your kids parents. When my son was like 9 years old, we had a food fight birthday party.

[Nate Bargettze]

But the key to going into it.

[Reno Collier]

Oh yeah, no, this was all on purpose. But the theme, the key is the parents are told a time to pick their kid up. And you make sure the food fight ends at that time because I had to spray them all down. But it was. We had. They had like scuba masks and snorkel things, whatever. And we set up tables with like spaghetti and pudding and everything's mixed up in these big bowls. And you like just yell, go. And they just start wailing on each other and the kids get just trash. Like there's stuff. And then I just hosed them down and they got their parents. But kids still talk about that. The only thing I'll tell you is, is that Walmart Jello will stain your driveway. Like there's something in that. That's not good.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's good to know, honestly.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Like for our. For your insights. It won't go for years. It looked like a rainbow.

[Dusty Slay]

Something only a select few people know is that Walmart Jello will stay in your driveway.

[Reno Collier]

And I want to get the word out. I just. That's why I'm going to go to everybody's Wilson so that everybody know.

[Brian Bates]

Everyone's Wilson.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, everyone's Wilson.

[Dusty Slay]

Listen, you be careful with that Jello out on the driveway.

[Reno Collier]

You messed me up so bad. I'm sorry if I'm adding out and I'm messing this up, but. So there is a Travis your bits about the songs. There's a Travis Dritt song that I was listening to when I was coming back from the casino last night. And it's about Bonnie at modern day Bonnie and Clyde.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And they said he says he picks her up in Johnson City, but He's driving up 95 to Richmond. They don't connect. You can't get to 95 from the thing. And I was sitting there going like, I should tell Dusty.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I do that all the time.

[Brian Bates]

I'll text him.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You heard this line?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. And it's like, it's a long way to Richmond. Rolling up on drive.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you're going the wrong way.

[Reno Collier]

Picked her up in Johnson City. You would have had to drive all the way to the coast and then cut up. It would have taken you. There's no reason. Why would you rob cigarettes and then. And have to drive all the way across when you could clearly cut up 6 to 64 trying to cover your tracks, I guess.

[Nate Bargettze]

I don't know.

[Reno Collier]

I don't know. I don't think Bonnie and Clyde had it all together.

[Nate Bargettze]

But you don't want to drive it in a straight line if you're committing.

[Reno Collier]

Committing crimes but you can't get to it. Like you can't get from. You'd have to take 26. It's irritating to me now and I never would have even thought about if I hadn't listened to Dusty's bits.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, it's. Yeah, I mean, that's what happens to me too now. I listen to everything like that. Everything. I'm like, I enjoy it, but I'm still picking it apart.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that picking it apart?

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. So they get arrested at the end.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

But suddenly they're on 95. 95 goes. I don't know why this is.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, that is up the coast.

[Reno Collier]

Straight down the coast.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And he's way over here in Johnson City. You can't do it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You had to cross at least a full. You had to go all the way.

[Reno Collier]

Across North Carolina and numerous back roads to cut straight across.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Seems a little wordy, but yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

And this was all in a Firebird.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. And you'd think. I mean, I know it rhymes, but. Yeah. You know, fix it. It's like Alan Jackson.

[Dusty Slay]

There's a lot of fives, though. I mean, there's plenty of five interstates. Did you ever do a bit about 95, 75.

[Nate Bargettze]

Tennessee has to rhyme with call and meat, too. Yeah, so.

[Reno Collier]

So he skipped right over it. Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. It's pretty tough. Writing songs is hard.

[Reno Collier]

It's not easy. When Alan Jackson rhymed Tulsa and salsa, I lost my mind. I'm like, I'm out.

[Brian Bates]

I'm done.

[Reno Collier]

I'm not listening to him anymore. And I love Alan Jackson, but as soon as I was like, this is the dumbest. You couldn't. Of everybody in Nashville, you couldn't find somebody. You just dropped a load of salsa.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's a lot of salsa.

[Reno Collier]

Who. Who deliver? Who has truck. Have you ever seen a truck full of salsa? I don't. You got the song. I love this.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. Well, I answered him and he asked me, aren't you from out in Tulsa? No, but you might have seen me there. I just dropped a load of salsa.

[Dusty Slay]

That song has the worst. This song has some wilder lyrics than that.

[Brian Bates]

It sounds like a new comic tribe to be funny. That's their line.

[Nate Bargettze]

Wow.

[Reno Collier]

No, but you might have seen me there. I just dropped a load of salsa.

[Brian Bates]

What song is this?

[Nate Bargettze]

This is where I come from.

[Brian Bates]

Where I come from. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You could pick a different city name and a different thing. You.

[Reno Collier]

And a different thing. You drop off chickens or cows or. Who. Who delivers salsa?

[Nate Bargettze]

Is salsa important to the story at all?

[Reno Collier]

No.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay.

[Reno Collier]

There's no chips. There's nothing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Pickens, South Carolina. Is there Pickens? Aren't you from Pickens? No. You might have seen me. I just dropped off a load of chickens. Y.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

That's so much better than Tulsa and salsa.

[Nate Bargettze]

There's a famous one. T. Pain has a song. He said, I'll put you in a mansion somewhere in Wisconsin. At that point, you just lean into it. You're like.

[Dusty Slay]

But is he saying Wisconsin? Like somebody from Wisconsin would say it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Wisconsin. I Maybe. Maybe there's more to it than meets. Meets the year. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It's deep for you, Aaron.

[Reno Collier]

You can't do that. You can't do that, AI. That's why AI is going to take over all songs.

[Dusty Slay]

G Pain can sing, though, too, huh?

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. He's got a good voice. He's a good musician.

[Dusty Slay]

What did he put? He put out something that everybody was sharing.

[Nate Bargettze]

A while back, he did a tiny desk concert without autotune, and everybody's like, oh, he can sing. You can even tell the autotune songs. You can tell he can sing a little bit.

[Dusty Slay]

What was that on? He put out, so I feel like it was a country song he's been messing around with.

[Nate Bargettze]

He's a lot of stuff, dude. A lot of people are taking over country. Finally getting some good musicians in there.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, my gosh. I know you're kidding, dude. I know, I know.

[Nate Bargettze]

I'm just. I'm getting dusty Fire.

[Reno Collier]

Okay, good.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. That's the. You got an ally at the table.

[Reno Collier]

You do have an ally. This stuff, it looks like a shampoo commercial. The whole mess of it is garbage. I don't even go downtown Nashville. I don't like rap.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, long gone are the days where we have. Talking about Tulsa and salsa.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

You know, this is a simpler time that.

[Reno Collier]

With that take that out than the rest of us.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I just watched that Opry 100 special. You did the Opry, right?

[Reno Collier]

I used to.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I said past tense.

[Reno Collier]

Yes, I. I did. And then I got in trouble, so I'm not on it anymore. I wanted to get T shirts made up that said, like, Cash Williams, Presley, Collier. Banned from the Opry.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you should.

[Reno Collier]

I know. I'm going to.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

But I still. In the back of my mind, I still want to do it again because the p. It's not the Opry's fault. The Opry's freaking awesome. It was three people from New York that all tagged Humana and put. And tagged the Opry and was talking about something that I said and I killed. Yeah. I mean, it was it. But it's. Here's the thing. It's not the Opry's fault. They. They have a brand. The Opry's a million times bigger than me. They don't need me. There's no reason for me to even be there. It's. I don't blame them. I'm not mad at them. I freaking love them. And I'd go back on.

[Dusty Slay]

They're the best.

[Nate Bargettze]

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[Dusty Slay]

I've only been a part of a data breach.

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[Brian Bates]

Leanne Morgan was telling me about how you were doing a church and you were freaking out about it.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And she told you just to share your testimony.

[Reno Collier]

Well, yeah, but I wrote a joke.

[Brian Bates]

About myself making up because I was like, I don't have a testimony if I had to go do this. I've never had the drinking problems that weak people have, so.

[Reno Collier]

I love it.

[Brian Bates]

I'm not weak like you guys. So I'm like, what can I do?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Bully Bates is back.

[Brian Bates]

So I wrote this joke. Joke about making up a fake testimony.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

At this church based off her telling me about you. And I've told it twice at the Opry. And the guy who followed me, which is probably the odds aren't that slim. Had a real addiction problem and goes out and shares his testimony. You know, the first time I didn't know the guy, he was making his Aubrey debut, and everyone gave him a standing ovation.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. For it.

[Brian Bates]

And then the second, I was T. Graham. Graham Brown.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, my gosh. Turn the water back into. Or turn the wine back into water.

[Brian Bates]

That was Jesus.

[Reno Collier]

No, I know, but he sings a song where he's praying, asking Jesus, I heard you. Turn the water on the wine back into wine.

[Nate Bargettze]

1998.

[Reno Collier]

That was one. That's a song that stuck in my head when I Started getting sober. But anyway, tell me again, Mr. Strong Pants, about what you did. Well, anyway, you're not the week after.

[Brian Bates]

The second time of, like, it sounds like I'm mocking these guys, that I'm like, I just need. Need to at least stop telling that joke at the Opry.

[Reno Collier]

Where's my phone? I'm going to tag the Opry and Humana. Remind that with what, Brian?

[Brian Bates]

Attack Tigran Brown.

[Dusty Slay]

So you had planned to do this testimony joke, and then this guy went before you?

[Brian Bates]

No, I actually went first, and then he goes out after me.

[Dusty Slay]

That's so much worse, dude.

[Reno Collier]

People are crying when they. I've seen T. Graham Brown at the Opry, and people cry when he talks about his testimony. Yeah, see, that's. Maybe you teed him up, did you?

[Brian Bates]

Did, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Finally, a guy with some real problems.

[Nate Bargettze]

It says he got inducted as a member of the Opry in 2024. Was this on the night, his inductee night that he did this?

[Reno Collier]

Brian standing on the side of the stage. We.

[Nate Bargettze]

We just don't drink. I don't get it. Just don't do it.

[Reno Collier]

Sorry, you just can't have one. T. Graham Brown.

[Brian Bates]

Nobody applauds me for being strong.

[Reno Collier]

That's right. I hear you, buddy.

[Brian Bates]

So where were you this weekend?

[Reno Collier]

I was at Harrow's Casino in Cherokee, North Carolina.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And it was awesome. And I love that place.

[Brian Bates]

Second straight week we've mentioned Cherokee, North Carolina, on this podcast.

[Dusty Slay]

He wasn't there doing comedy, just gambling.

[Reno Collier]

No, I was there.

[Brian Bates]

I mentioned last week I went skiing one time, and I think it was in Cherokee, North Carolina.

[Reno Collier]

It's beautiful, man. It's beautiful. And the golf course, Sequoia national is killer.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And they let you play all day. You do shows up there.

[Nate Bargettze]

So I go up there and that's great. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, one time when I was still drinking, I. We. We were in that part of North Carolina, me and my dad and, like, my stepmom. And I was really like, want. My dad doesn't really drink. And I really wanted to drink, so I was like, hey, why don't we go check out this casino? I never been in a casino before. I'd like. And I hadn't. And I was like, I'd like to go in there. And my thought was, you know, I'll go in there and then I'll get a couple of beers while I'm walking around and here. And then. There's no alcohol in there. It's totally dry. And the. And the one that I was in was Totally dry.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, no, this one. People were hammered falling down the escalator.

[Brian Bates]

Like things have changed.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, this was. This was, you know, probably 15 years ago.

[Reno Collier]

Maybe they. I. I remember I snuck.

[Dusty Slay]

My kid, couldn't get one.

[Reno Collier]

Are you sure?

[Dusty Slay]

I. Yeah, man. I tried.

[Reno Collier]

You don't think they were hiding from you or.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know, but.

[Reno Collier]

But maybe they didn't used to, but they do now, man.

[Dusty Slay]

And maybe I'm thinking about a different place.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe they've changed the liquor a while since then.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

But I was pretty disappointed. I'll tell you.

[Reno Collier]

Just over at the Pepsi thing. Filled up.

[Brian Bates]

Your paper shaking.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I was pretty disappointed.

[Nate Bargettze]

Do you remember we did Mother's Day at the Harris Casino in. In Harris, Michigan?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

And I saw the Mother's Day buffet at the. At the. At the casino. Know was. I mean, just kind of a sad sight.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a sad casino.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

The upper peninsula of Michigan. A casino island resort and casino. Just. It's a sad spot.

[Nate Bargettze]

On Mother's Day.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, it's just the. Doing a Sunday, it's still daylight. There's skylights wide open in there. You can't. You know, you can see the sun rays coming through the smoke in there and oxygen tanks. Yeah. And then there was a biker ball. A biker gang in there. I don't know if they were a gang, but there was a lot of them, and they were heckling us the whole time and Mother's Day, and no one was doing anything about it. I had to eventually say to the guy, clearly, no one's going to do anything about this.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So I just want to tell a couple of jokes, that's all.

[Nate Bargettze]

But the shows were good this weekend?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, they were great. I sold a ton of books. And I mean, I'm not here to plug.

[Nate Bargettze]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

But I'd like to hear about the book.

[Reno Collier]

I just want to say, I talked to Adrian before this. It's not. It's like PG 13. I did it. I said it all on the radio. It's not for kids that are 10.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Reno Collier]

So it's. Here's what it is. It's called Country Fried Takes. It's also got a bunch of recipes in the back, like ribs and steaks and chili and spaghetti sauce. So it's. If you look in it, there's no writing on that side.

[Nate Bargettze]

Side.

[Reno Collier]

Because when I read a book, I don't like bending it. So I was like, it's my book. I'm just not going to put them in there. And so there's nothing on that side. And then I.

[Nate Bargettze]

Throughout the whole book.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, through the whole book.

[Nate Bargettze]

When I'm.

[Reno Collier]

When I'm laying in bed and I got to go like this to get to it, I'm like, I'm just not going to have it in there. And then I did the. I did the artwork, and the publisher's like, why don't you use AI? And I was like, because I'm not a communist.

[Dusty Slay]

So then on the back, I do like that. It's. It's rather thin. And you.

[Reno Collier]

It would have been a pamphlet.

[Dusty Slay]

It would have been a pamphlet.

[Nate Bargettze]

I didn't want to say. Say that, but.

[Reno Collier]

No, you could say it.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's only half of that.

[Reno Collier]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. That's still a good book.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

The writing small. And then on the back of it, it looks weird. It says, how to kill your best friend. And that's not. Has nothing to do with the book, but it's. So when you lay it on the back of the toilet and your buddy comes over and he's going to the bathroom, he's looking at it, going, am I his?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

See what I mean? Little giggler in Little Tom made fun. Little. Little prank.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Reno Collier]

And, yeah. And they are.

[Dusty Slay]

You tell all your friends before they go to the bathroom. You go, hey, you're my best friend.

[Nate Bargettze]

Thanks for coming over, dude. I don't say this a lot, but you're my best friend in the whole world.

[Reno Collier]

And these are only $185.

[Dusty Slay]

So get in that bathroom. It only locks from the outside.

[Reno Collier]

It's also weird. This lady told me she was sitting in the airport not thinking about it. So when you hold it like this, it's upside down. And she goes, this guy was sitting across from me going like.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, yeah, it's fun.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. So you can get [e-mail] if you want one.

[Dusty Slay]

Awesome.

[Reno Collier]

Awesome. Yeah, they were fun, man. They're funny and, you know, blah, blah, blah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, I was up in.

[Dusty Slay]

Do you sell a lot of books at the shows?

[Reno Collier]

Okay, I probably sold a hundred and something and four. I ran out Friday. But it's Bob and Tom, people that know the. That, like, listen to the show. So it's the best ones of the whole year coming up, like, every Monday or whatever. So. It was fun, man. I mean, it's just fun to, you know, be like, I'm an author.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Another credit, another credit.

[Reno Collier]

700 credits, 250 tickets sold.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

He is something else. He was on the jack Parr show. Can you believe it?

[Brian Bates]

Where were you, Aaron?

[Nate Bargettze]

I was in N land country. Boston, Massachusetts.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Nate Bargettze]

Brian and Dusty were there last weekend and I was here this past weekend. I was in Hartford on Thursday. Boston shows are great. Two of them sold out.

[Reno Collier]

Nice.

[Nate Bargettze]

It was just, it was just awesome. I had a thing. I was flying from. Where are we flying to? I was flying from Los Angeles as in Los Angeles week. Did some podcasts and stuff. It's flying from LA to Hartford, 5am Flight. And I get there, they're like just about to open the pre check line. That's how early it is in the morning. So there's two lines for.

[Dusty Slay]

This is the Hartford airport.

[Nate Bargettze]

No, this is lax.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Nate Bargettze]

Which is just awful.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Just so bad. Every. I mean, I had to return a rental car. I mean it was just terrible. But there's two lines forming. One is for, for the general, general security and then the others for the pre check. And they haven't opened the pre check line yet. So there's a line for me. So this dude, it's like, dude, it's like four in the morning, this dude walks up, suit on, backpack, and he's like in a hurry in a way that's kind of annoying. Like we all want to get on our flight, dude. And he walks up, he goes, pre check, pre check. And they go, oh yeah, well, general boarding's open, but pre check's not open yet. And he goes, okay, okay. And then he walks like he's going to go to general boarding. And then he kind of looks around and then walks over and goes through pre check.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Nate Bargettze]

Cuts. Probably 150 people.

[Brian Bates]

I love this guy.

[Nate Bargettze]

Blatantly cuts.

[Dusty Slay]

We all get ahead in business.

[Nate Bargettze]

We all see it. And I just got. I was struck by what a bonding experience it was with these strangers around. We talked about him for probably 20 minutes in line, just making fun of him, laughing at him. And then like we hope he gets, you know, we hope he, his flight's delayed and just talking about this guy.

[Reno Collier]

I hope his flight's delay.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. Or hope like he gets pulled at security or something.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, his flight goes down and.

[Dusty Slay]

Then he goes to some private lounge and eats caviar and waits for. Yeah, probably.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He's like, he's like, who are those people?

[Nate Bargettze]

Loser now, dude, we one in life in the grand scheme of things. Dude, we did it right? You know.

[Dusty Slay]

Did you see him at, in the airport again at all?

[Nate Bargettze]

I was looking for him so hard, dude. I wish he was on my flight. I would have Said something to him.

[Dusty Slay]

You should have cut him.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

In line.

[Nate Bargettze]

Would just follow him out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Fly somewhere else just to spy him.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You hear you and lan here get.

[Nate Bargettze]

The only way he could have got up there is because he pretended to be general boarding and then cut the line.

[Reno Collier]

You don't see people pretend to be general boarding that often. You know what I mean?

[Dusty Slay]

This guy is a real businessman. I mean, it would have annoyed me at the time, but I honestly, I might have saw it and go, I probably do that, too.

[Reno Collier]

Things like that used to upset me, but I remember everybody's Wilson.

[Brian Bates]

Everyone's Wilson.

[Reno Collier]

Everyone's Wilson. I'm gonna get it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Everyone is.

[Dusty Slay]

At least one time in our life. We are. We are Wilson.

[Reno Collier]

We are all.

[Nate Bargettze]

You were Wilson. Yeah, once or twice, but other than that, I mean, it was just. I almost hugged the people I was in line with when we got through security.

[Reno Collier]

Purity.

[Nate Bargettze]

It was such a bonding experience. So I'm grateful for that guy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, he brought you guys.

[Nate Bargettze]

Together in a weird way, I'm thankful.

[Dusty Slay]

That he was an angel.

[Nate Bargettze]

He did what he did. He might have been an angel.

[Brian Bates]

God sent him.

[Nate Bargettze]

These angels come through every now and then. They'll do stuff like that, but other than that.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Unbelievable weekend. Had fun in la. Had fun in Hartford, Connecticut. And then Boston was great. And a lot of people said they saw both of y'all last week. All right, so people triple dipping in the. In the course of two weeks. That's pretty.

[Dusty Slay]

They say what show they like the best.

[Nate Bargettze]

I did ask him, and I'll tell you after we get off, after the podcast.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. The.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, they were like, yeah. Then Nate's doing. I don't know, wherever the Celtics play, he's doing there. So they're gonna go see, that doesn't.

[Dusty Slay]

Mean it's a better show.

[Nate Bargettze]

No. And I said, look, Nate's not waiting in the lobby after the show to say hi to you.

[Reno Collier]

You know, neither is Dusty.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I gave a ride home.

[Reno Collier]

Nobody's cutting in front of. Of Nate.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that might have been Nate.

[Reno Collier]

You can't tell. He wears clothes from somewhere else.

[Brian Bates]

Not from around here.

[Nate Bargettze]

Not from around here.

[Reno Collier]

That's so funny.

[Brian Bates]

What about you, Destiny?

[Dusty Slay]

I went to Texas. I did two. I went to Beaumont.

[Brian Bates]

Sounds right.

[Dusty Slay]

Texas and San Antonio. Texas. Both really great shows. I sent you guys the text. Beaumont, I did an hour 25 minutes on stage.

[Brian Bates]

Age, new record.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. San Antonio, hour 22.

[Nate Bargettze]

But they gotta step it up in San Antonio.

[Dusty Slay]

But I. In Beaumont was really great. They both were very great. I don't know if very great as a way you could say it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But there are a lot of coffin going on in Beaumont in the audience. And I got a.

[Brian Bates]

What kind of people?

[Dusty Slay]

I got a coughing joke I like to do. And then I referenced Nateland. I said, I do a podcast called Nateland. A lot of people check. And then I said, there's a guy on there named Brian Bates, and he coughs a lot. And I always tell him he should smoke because he. He coughs so much and he doesn't smoke. Smoking might help him.

[Brian Bates]

Did that laugh more than I didn't?

[Dusty Slay]

No, no. About the same. But I want you to know I'm talking about.

[Brian Bates]

I appreciate that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Some people messaged me.

[Dusty Slay]

That was the end of the joke. It was trailing off at the. That point.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But I was like, hey, get back into the act.

[Nate Bargettze]

But, you know, when I mentioned the podcast on stage, I always say, brian, I don't know if this has gotten back to you yet, but I haven't done it in a while, so I might as well tell you. I go, I do a podcast with Nate Bargetti, who's a famous comedian, and Dusty Slay, who's becoming a famous comedian. Just the three of us hanging out. And. And dude. And sometimes people will be like, oh, come on. Oh, don't do that to Brian. And then they'll come up to me after the show and be like, well, that was. I mean, can't believe you did that. You know, but that's how I say.

[Brian Bates]

It because it makes me laugh.

[Nate Bargettze]

So Dusty's doing the opposite.

[Dusty Slay]

And now I think that the three minutes that I didn't do in San Antonio was probably the three minutes I spent talking about your golf.

[Brian Bates]

I helped you set a record.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they're great. You know what? I love San Antonio, the city. It's a very nice place. I like it a lot.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's very great.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a smoke friendly city, too. You can really smoke wherever you want there, which I like.

[Brian Bates]

Like, I was there with Nate in San Antonio, and we were walking downtown San Antonio and a guy in the park ahead of us, some kids, whatever, pulled a gun out and started shooting just randomly. And, you know, last week on the podcast all about friendship, Nate said, I take a bullet for any of you guys. I can tell you firsthand, he wouldn't. He took off running before I even realized what was going on.

[Nate Bargettze]

He threw you ahead.

[Brian Bates]

He's like, my life's clearly more important, Brian, block these bullets.

[Reno Collier]

It really is a nice city.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I didn't experience any of that.

[Reno Collier]

So beautiful down by the Riverwalk. And then they were shooting at us.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, it's really great. It's just.

[Reno Collier]

It's good to take your kids.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

There was a homeless guy on. I don't know if he was homeless, but he was dirty. Some stuff going on with him, and he goes. He goes, too much.

[Reno Collier]

I'm sorry.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm on Riverwalk. He's like, hey, you. You that. What is that you that Free Bird guy.

[Nate Bargettze]

Free Bird guy.

[Dusty Slay]

And I go, yeah, yeah. And he goes, how's that? How's that solo go? And I just wanted to be like, I. I have bad news for you. I don't know if you've been out here since the 70s, but that band's dead.

[Reno Collier]

There was an awful.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, he thought you were Leonard Skinner.

[Dusty Slay]

I guess so.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. The guy. Leonard Skitter.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You were the whole band as cle.

[Reno Collier]

That's right.

[Brian Bates]

Let's also, when the Nate text says that he's down to 56 minutes now, so. Yeah, so you're doing a full 30 minutes.

[Dusty Slay]

And I'm doing a club this weekend, so I don't know if I'll be able to do it. Well, I'm do. I asked for some club doing the Virginia Beach Funny Bone asked to do some clubs. And because I'm working on a new hour, so I want to get in there.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's nice.

[Dusty Slay]

And so I don't know if I'll be able to do it.

[Nate Bargettze]

We're gonna find. Speaking of Virginia Beach, I mean, what a segue. Is that why we're doing it?

[Brian Bates]

No, we're doing Virgin.

[Reno Collier]

Well, we.

[Brian Bates]

Guys, we haven't done the comics comments.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, sorry. I was pumped.

[Brian Bates]

We were way behind.

[Nate Bargettze]

I was proud of that segue. I just pulled together.

[Dusty Slay]

I know this was a heavy first part of the podcast. It's very funny.

[Nate Bargettze]

Let's get started with the comments.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Who wants to read them?

[Nate Bargettze]

You want to do it?

[Brian Bates]

I'll read them. I'll read them.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, you can if you want.

[Brian Bates]

Apple podcast reviews. Yeah, chime in whatever you want, Nate Baratsi.com Scott Boy, what do you think, Nael?

[Dusty Slay]

I think you gotta go knifel. You don't put the K in there like that.

[Nate Bargettze]

How many words do you do? The K and the end, do you say them both like that?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know any knife.

[Nate Bargettze]

Knife.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, knife. That's right. I was a PE teacher, too.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, it's knife knit.

[Reno Collier]

It's. It's Scott. Scott Knifel.

[Brian Bates]

Are PE Teachers real people?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, I was one.

[Nate Bargettze]

Were you really a PE Teacher?

[Reno Collier]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

The old look.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Yeah. I used to bartend at the Punchline in Atlanta.

[Dusty Slay]

They were like, Ms. Collier?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Are you the field hockey coach?

[Nate Bargettze]

All right, boys, line up this picture right there.

[Reno Collier]

All right, girls, let's play some volleyball.

[Nate Bargettze]

Do you have a whistle around your neck and everything?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay.

[Reno Collier]

No, I. What I did have was a hangover because I would. I'd Bart. Pretend at the Punchline at night and then teach during the day. And I'd have to stand outside in Atlanta just sweating booze out. And these kids were like, you smell like my dad.

[Nate Bargettze]

You are Kenny Powers.

[Reno Collier]

I wasn't a good teacher. Dude. Here's what happened. I taught for a summer. I happened to walk in and apply for the job the day the other guy got fired. So it was kind of like, okay, just. Let's go. Can you do summer school? Absolutely. Let's go. So I did one summer, a full year, another summer. Summer school is about to start. I had like three weeks booked on the road making like 175 bucks a week. And I'm like, I'm a comedian and I quit, ditch my apartment. I go in to tell the. It was a private school to tell the. The headmaster, you know, like, I'm. I'm out. I'm not going to be there for the next year. And I go in, he's sitting there. I'm not. I'm not making this up. He's got a paper like this and his glasses are down. And I walk in and I go, hey, man, I didn't pay attention to, like, how much time I'm supposed to give you before I bail. Right. But I just booked three weeks on the road and to, like, in Ocala, Florida.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And in Savannah, Georgia. Like, I don't. I think. I think. I think I'd like to bail on this man and give it a shot. And he goes like this. All right.

[Nate Bargettze]

That was it.

[Reno Collier]

I didn't even have to, like, stay for two weeks or anything. Like, I must not have been good at all. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Because these kids had to go through state. I don't mean to take this thing over. Is it.

[Nate Bargettze]

No, this is where do it.

[Reno Collier]

I didn't. I didn't.

[Brian Bates]

Asking him for. He doesn't do anything.

[Reno Collier]

I'm sorry, Brian.

[Brian Bates]

I should be the one running this.

[Reno Collier]

He. Like, I didn't. I didn't think when you teach school, like, that and, and you're a. I totally forgot what I was talking about.

[Brian Bates]

I interrupted.

[Reno Collier]

You know, I tried to play it up and I was going like, just start. Just talk long enough and it'll come back to you.

[Dusty Slay]

And it just never knows.

[Brian Bates]

I'm sorry.

[Nate Bargettze]

But in your head you think like, well, I'm going to have to. When I quit this, I'm going have to train the next guy and all that stuff.

[Reno Collier]

I didn't have anything.

[Nate Bargettze]

And he's like, dude, we'll replace you in 20 minutes.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, like, like, like it's better not even to have anybody than for you to come back. You know what I mean? But the kids. I know I was going to say, but the kids had to go through standardized testing to get into the school.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay?

[Reno Collier]

So PE English was a second language for a lot of them, you know. And I'm trying to explain games to them and they're not. And I'm like, just pick that ball up and hit him in the head with it. Like. And they're like, oh, I don't. I'm like, pick it up and hit him.

[Dusty Slay]

You them from having to get rid of you.

[Reno Collier]

I did. I. I'm a giver. I thought I was helping out for the students. I mean, if we're going to take care of these kids.

[Dusty Slay]

The students were probably into you.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Oh, they loved me. And the teacher that had the kids after me hated me. Cuz they'd go in there so amped up and you know, it was fun, man. But apparently I wasn't very good at it.

[Dusty Slay]

I love that.

[Nate Bargettze]

Scott. Na.

[Brian Bates]

I'm a middle school PE teacher and hearing all of dusty stories about when he was young and getting kicked out of places, fighting, drinking, smoking and all of his shenanig. Seeing the way he's turned out does give me hope for some of these kids today.

[Nate Bargettze]

You don't know that well, Scott.

[Dusty Slay]

I'll say this though. A lot of the kids I was hanging out with, they did not turn out the same.

[Nate Bargettze]

So one of those kids will be all right.

[Dusty Slay]

And I did get in trouble a lot in pe. I was. Yeah. So I was not very athletic and I have. I was real mouthy. Always been.

[Nate Bargettze]

Is that why you're mouthy? Because you were frustrated with. You weren't.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know, probably just frustrated with a lot.

[Nate Bargettze]

I think if you were like the best kickball player in the school, you probably would have had a better attitude.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe you're right. Maybe I did a lot of four square. Remember that game?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Would you Go to school in the 30s. Four square.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

I had a little paddle with a ball at the end of it.

[Reno Collier]

I was ranked in Red Rover. Red rover in the 11th grade.

[Nate Bargettze]

Four squares. Crazy. You remember that game?

[Reno Collier]

Yes, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

The ball. Yeah, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Jax, do you remember Jack? Remember that I was so good.

[Dusty Slay]

I do remember that.

[Reno Collier]

You step on one of those things with those shoes on.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Manny McBride, dairy farmer here. I can confirm that cows are friends. They're very habitual animals, going to the same place to eat every day. Day. Lying in the same stall every day, etc, and typically hang out with the same social circle. There's a pecking order in every herd and usually a boss cow who runs the show. Studies like these help us understand how to make life more comfortable for our animals. Like reducing stress by putting them in.

[Nate Bargettze]

Pins with their friends or killing the one that's a bully. You know, it's like, yeah, picking which ones to kill first.

[Reno Collier]

Right.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, these are dairy cows.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Do what you want. Still, if you're hungry, you're hungry.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, that's what my dad always has milk about. Chick fil a cows. He's always like, it's dairy cows trying to get you to eat chicken. He's like, they don't even. They're not even in danger here.

[Brian Bates]

I never thought about that.

[Nate Bargettze]

I met the guy. I met the guy who came up with that advertising campaign.

[Brian Bates]

Or at least he told you he did.

[Nate Bargettze]

No. Well, he worked at the company that did. He was part of the. The team. And originally. Originally they were brown cows. And then they did a bunch of testing and the black and white just played better. They just register as cows.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

More quickly to people. But they did think about that. And most people don't. Don't care. But it is funny when those aren't even the cows that were.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they're not even in danger.

[Reno Collier]

I never thought of that. I always feel so bad for the guy standing out on the side of the road in the cow thing because it's so hot, man. You know? And you know he's in there like, dude, I should have really paid more attention. Like, you know what I mean? I would have done that when I was younger. Younger but not wet. Like, you'd get irritated and you swing in the sign and people are yelling at you and flicking cigarettes and they're.

[Dusty Slay]

Already going to chick.

[Reno Collier]

I mean, that's what I do.

[Nate Bargettze]

Flicking cigarettes at the chick fil a. You know what I mean?

[Reno Collier]

I wouldn't.

[Brian Bates]

God bless you, buddy.

[Reno Collier]

I wouldn't do it.

[Dusty Slay]

Try to ring the eye. Smoke this cow.

[Reno Collier]

You know, it's a.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's a 13 year old homeschooled kid in there. Oh, my God.

[Reno Collier]

Go. Hey, by the way, I do not flick cigarettes at the Chick Fil. A cow just before anybody. That's the last.

[Nate Bargettze]

The op is listening.

[Brian Bates]

Have you Tag Humana?

[Dusty Slay]

Have you ever seen one of those and been like, I'm gonna go in because of that? Like a Jiffy Lube. You're like, oh, here's a guy throwing a sign. I need an old chair.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's always like, sometimes it's a guy.

[Reno Collier]

I just want to meet.

[Dusty Slay]

I'd like to get my taxes done.

[Nate Bargettze]

Taxes?

[Brian Bates]

Liberty.

[Nate Bargettze]

Who's doing their taxes on an impul. Oh, I might as well pull in and do my real quick.

[Dusty Slay]

I got all my W2s here.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's like car wash is the only thing that makes sense.

[Brian Bates]

Or oil change, maybe.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. But yeah, if it's a high effort.

[Dusty Slay]

Thing like that, you're riding around looking for an old change. Where's that guy with that sign.

[Reno Collier]

Just driving by, passing them. No Jiffy Lube. No Jiffy Lube. The subject guy. Have you ever seen the guy they make dressed up as a pickle? No. Like, there's a pickle guy in Murphy's Boro.

[Brian Bates]

That's only in Murphy's borough.

[Reno Collier]

I know. We don't.

[Brian Bates]

We're everybody's Ruth.

[Reno Collier]

Everybody's Rutherford. That's right.

[Nate Bargettze]

There's a pickle guy in Murphy.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. There's a Statue of Liberty guy. There's a pickle guy. We have the Chick Fil. A cow guy. We have a lot of signed spinners in Murphy's Bird.

[Nate Bargettze]

What is the pickle guy for?

[Reno Collier]

Just a subplot place.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, okay.

[Reno Collier]

They intertwined. He was a pickle. First he was a sub, and then. I think it's a pickle. It's green.

[Nate Bargettze]

Cucumber maybe. I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

They put pickle sandwiches though, right?

[Nate Bargettze]

But not a. Like a whole.

[Reno Collier]

It's a whole pickle.

[Nate Bargettze]

He's gonna put a whole pickle on a sub.

[Reno Collier]

He's not a slice.

[Brian Bates]

I thought like the size.

[Nate Bargettze]

He's not a slice.

[Reno Collier]

He might. It might be a dirty hot dog.

[Nate Bargettze]

What if they. The gross br.

[Reno Collier]

He washed it with the wrong stuff and it turned green. That's the nastiest. It's at a gas station. It's a green hot dog.

[Nate Bargettze]

I don't know if you'd associate a full pickle with a. A sandwich like that.

[Reno Collier]

I've never eaten in there, but I see him and I feel for him. Don't you? I mean, honestly, like, are his arms out in it? Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay.

[Reno Collier]

There's a fake face.

[Nate Bargettze]

You hate to think about him arms.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't feel sorry for him.

[Reno Collier]

You don't?

[Nate Bargettze]

Why is that?

[Dusty Slay]

Nah, he, you know, he applied for a job. Job and.

[Reno Collier]

No, I agree.

[Dusty Slay]

Do you want to. Do you want to do the costume? And he's like, yeah, I like the outside.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, but the pickle, like even a sub but a pickle.

[Dusty Slay]

I feel like you'd rather be in costume than not in costume. If you're out on the street, is.

[Nate Bargettze]

His face visible in it? Like, no. Oh, okay then.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's not that bad.

[Reno Collier]

But his arms have green sleeves.

[Nate Bargettze]

What kind of shoes?

[Reno Collier]

I can't remember his shoes, man.

[Nate Bargettze]

Take a look next time.

[Reno Collier]

I will.

[Nate Bargettze]

I'm curious whether it fits the look or not.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe they could be little garlic cloves. Make pick a homemade pickles. You put a little garlic clove in.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Or you could.

[Dusty Slay]

His arms are dill.

[Reno Collier]

Dill arms.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

I can't think of his shoes.

[Brian Bates]

That's probably meant to be.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. It's true.

[Brian Bates]

This episode is brought to you by IQ Box Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. Aaron, you like snacks?

[Nate Bargettze]

I mean, I mean, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

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[Dusty Slay]

It depends on the plants.

[Brian Bates]

You like protein?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I like protein. I like plants.

[Brian Bates]

Well, they're packed with high quality ingredients to help keep you physically and mentally fit. IQ bar is totally free from gluten, dairy, soy GMOs and artificial sweeteners.

[Dusty Slay]

I like that. No soy baby.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. They offer nine delicious flavors like mint chocolate chip, banana nut. That's right.

[Nate Bargettze]

The mint chocolate chip is good. I've had it.

[Brian Bates]

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[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What are your top five? Mushroom. Well, we'll find out later. Obviously these bars taste great, but the real benefit is how they make you feel. When I've got my IQ bars, I feel good after. You can tell. I feel refreshed. No brain fog.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It's body boosting. And that that's my favorite part. Look at this body. It's boosted, guys. And right now, IQ Bar. That's me. IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 25% off all IQ Bar products, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, just text Nate. I'll give you his phone number.

[Reno Collier]

No, wait.

[Brian Bates]

To 64,000. Text Nate. N a T, E. To 64,000. That's Nate. To 64,000. Message and data rates. Data. Data may apply. See terms for details. All right, I'm gonna skip this next page. Okay, well, just to give us.

[Nate Bargettze]

I will save these comments.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Desert. Was there one you wanted to.

[Nate Bargettze]

No, no, no.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Kelly, Renee, I'm a recent neuroscience grad. Based on my knowledge of internal processes of brain tissue.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

I do believe that there's more to the effects of Bluetooth headphones on our brain than we know. So so far, there are at least a couple of ongoing research studies at the moment on this, so all we can do is wait to read about their findings. Dusty, I'm with you on this one.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, seems like we're finding more and more of these people, aren't we, that are on track with what I'm talking about out here. I just. You got one Bluetooth in here, and then you put the other one in here, and it's communicating with each other. We hope that it's going over the top. Stop. But it could just be.

[Nate Bargettze]

Are they communicating with each other? Are they communicating with your phone? Unless your phone's in the middle.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think the second one, at least on any Bluetooth speakers I've ever had, the second one doesn't work unless you have that first one. The one of them sometimes will work, but the second one.

[Nate Bargettze]

But it's telling the device to not play it. It's not telling.

[Dusty Slay]

I think that second one.

[Nate Bargettze]

I mean, I'm not saying they're not communicating, but what you're describing.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, but it's like when you. When you have that. Like, for me, I had a bo. I had a set of Bose heads, and I love them. I love them.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You put the right one in and it works. You can do it by itself. If you put the left one in by itself, it won't work. It needs that one. So I think that one's communicating with the phone. This one's communicating with this one.

[Reno Collier]

And you think it's going straight through your head? Yeah, Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I started. I started to get vertigo. I. I haven't really had any problems since I stopped using those Headsets. And. And, I mean, I love. I love them. I'm not trashing Bose, right? Everybody's doing it. I love those speakers. But I even actually bought Bose wired headphones. I love them. I have many Bose products. Bose is not even a sponsor. But I just want them to know I love them. You love Bose, But I don't like the Bluetooth wireless headphones.

[Reno Collier]

Okay, you just use them twice, and you can't do math anymore.

[Brian Bates]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, Exactly.

[Reno Collier]

Gotcha.

[Dusty Slay]

But I.

[Brian Bates]

He pees his pants, everybody. Every time. Turn on the microwave.

[Dusty Slay]

I was doing that before, but.

[Brian Bates]

Joe McQueen.

[Dusty Slay]

But thank you. Kelly.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty, you said your personal best was recently 81 minutes, but my wife and I saw you in Cleveland last year, and you did 90. Either way, we're having a good time.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know what? The Cleveland Show. I forget about that because I didn't have my timer set, so I didn't know exactly how long it was. But that Cleveland show was really long, and I had a great time. That Cleveland show was so fun.

[Reno Collier]

Hot.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That was one of my favorite shows I've done in a long time. Super hot. A theater and a real sketchy part. Like, I even made the joke. I go, I'm not that familiar with Cleveland, but this seems like a safe spot here, huh? And everybody laughed. And I go, thanks for risking your lives to be here tonight, but it was great. No, it was. It was really great.

[Reno Collier]

Cleveland's a fun town. It's a good comedy town. So good town.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So good.

[Brian Bates]

Jenna. Obi. It's weird that Dusty's getting any pushback after about planting fruit trees.

[Nate Bargettze]

What is this? Just the Dusty show. I'm.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm in for it, though.

[Brian Bates]

Groceries.

[Nate Bargettze]

I know this is locked in as you've been in a long time.

[Brian Bates]

I know.

[Reno Collier]

I love me some me.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Listen, that's what our whole profession is. You know what I mean?

[Nate Bargettze]

Absolutely.

[Dusty Slay]

You showed me a selfless comedian, and.

[Reno Collier]

Dude, I'm gonna start. I'm gonna start saying what you said. Like, I'm doing the club clubs, you know, just to work on new material.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, exactly.

[Reno Collier]

Why are you go banana? I'm just here to work on them.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I want people to know, you.

[Reno Collier]

Know, for what next club I do.

[Nate Bargettze]

I'm running my hour right now.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't want people to think the theaters aren't going well.

[Reno Collier]

Right.

[Nate Bargettze]

You know, when people go, I'm running my hour this weekend, it's like, what are you doing? Other. What else are you doing? Running my hour. Yeah, me too.

[Dusty Slay]

And I do like the Virginia Beach. Funny bell.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a good club.

[Reno Collier]

Last time I was below you a little bit.

[Nate Bargettze]

He's just doing them a favor.

[Reno Collier]

They are so lucky, man.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's great to come back into the clubs.

[Reno Collier]

You'll see me in clubs on my way up or my way down. It's good to be here now. See you in 15 years.

[Dusty Slay]

Winter hibernation is over, and it's time for some of that springtime cleaning. But when it comes to the scent of your laundry, it shouldn't smell like the same thing you use to disinfect your bathroom. You know what I mean? Enter laundry Sauce. The premium scented laundry pods that don't just clean your clothes, they elevate them. Say goodbye to that stale, overused detergent scent and hello to luxury cologne quality, fresh freshness. That last. Abby, take it away.

[Reno Collier]

I feel like a woman has to be in here. Cause do y'all do a ton of laundry.

[Nate Bargettze]

I do it all.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, you do it all. Okay, we'll check it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Whoa.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, this stuff.

[Nate Bargettze]

I mean, the box alone, you can always tell how good something is.

[Dusty Slay]

But it's unbelievable. The packaging, it looks good enough to eat.

[Reno Collier]

It smells like cologne.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And I love cologne, so.

[Nate Bargettze]

It smells like cologne.

[Reno Collier]

Y'all were supposed to get samples. I stole all of these.

[Nate Bargettze]

Siberian pop pine.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's amazing I've ever smelled like Siberian pine.

[Dusty Slay]

Laundry sauce isn't just about smelling incredible. It's engineered for performance. These highly concentrated pods are packed with the cleaning power of bioenzymes that ob. Obliterate stains. I knew that word was going to get me. Obliterate stains.

[Reno Collier]

It does.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Reno Collier]

It does.

[Dusty Slay]

Obliterate.

[Reno Collier]

Ate some.

[Dusty Slay]

You've used this product and you like it. You're like, my clothes smell good. I had somebody ask me, what laundry detergent do you use your husband washes his clothes in, and then you're like, what's that cologne? Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

100%.

[Nate Bargettze]

Look at this.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, it looks good. For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use Code Nate at Laundry Sauce dotcom. That's 20% off your order@laundry sauce.com with promo code Nate. Maybe the best part about laundry Sauce, they offer a full money back guarantee.

[Nate Bargettze]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

If you don't get better smelling cleaner laundry, you get a full refund, no questions asked.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's pretty great.

[Reno Collier]

What do you.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm asking for Aaron to start using this, please. Aaron, For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use Code Nate at laundry sauce.com. that's 20% off your order@laundry sauce.com with promo code Nate. After your purchases, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you the Nateland podcast. It's time to make laundry day the best day of the week.

[Brian Bates]

Groceries are insanely expensive right now. If everyone had a fruit tree, they could eat their own fruit and take care of their families a little better. We trade around my town because it's hard out here right now, and we all know it. If someone is making their own bread, they can trade it for a dozen eggs with their neighbor.

[Dusty Slay]

Jenna gets it. This is what I'm talking about. I'm just saying, in the neighborhood that I live in, instead of all these ornamental trees, what if we all had fruit trees? Everybody in the neighborhood just said one fruit tree.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, I'm gonna throw it to Serge as the next comment. I'd like to read what he has.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, go ahead.

[Nate Bargettze]

I don't usually agree with Dusty, and this is no exception. It's my kind of guy. Serge, planting fruit trees everywhere seems like a great idea to an idiot. Except that most fruits. I added that. Except that most fruits aren't native to where they're being grown, so it takes a lot of water to raise. They also don't support the local ecosystems like native plants do.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, well, let's get native fruit trace.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, but you get monkeys living in there and stuff, it's going to get weird on your neighborhood.

[Dusty Slay]

Come on, Serge, let's get native fruit trace.

[Reno Collier]

What if you live under power lines?

[Nate Bargettze]

What's a native fruit tree to Tennessee? What? Could you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, you would have to, you know, I don't know, look it up, but.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, steak.

[Dusty Slay]

But there's got to be native fruit trees, so we'll get that.

[Reno Collier]

Apple trees would seem like a logical choice.

[Nate Bargettze]

So look, Tennessee, your options are paw paws, Paris Simmons black cherries, and chickasaw plums.

[Brian Bates]

I've been called all those.

[Dusty Slay]

Great. Well, great.

[Reno Collier]

You never know who you'll see at the opera.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Open for chickas all plum this weekend.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, great. Okay. Who couldn't use some of those?

[Nate Bargettze]

A pawpaw, also known as the Appalachian banana. It's a large oblong fruit with a pronounced scent. I've never heard of this.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I've had a pronounced scent a couple times.

[Reno Collier]

I don't like the words Apple legend, banana. There's something wrong fundamentally about that.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, here's. Here they are. I mean, they don't really look like Bang. Bananas.

[Brian Bates]

But they're kind of.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, the whole point is those are cute. Yeah. I mean, Serge, I mean, that's the.

[Nate Bargettze]

Pickle guy outside the gas. He's probably a pawpaw. You don't even know.

[Reno Collier]

Wouldn't it be great if that's what he was? And I thought he was a pickle.

[Nate Bargettze]

I'm an Appalachian banana. What do you think I am?

[Brian Bates]

I'm native to my region.

[Dusty Slay]

But, yeah, I mean, this is the type of negativity that keeps anything moving forward, that's positive.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, this is how life works, is you need a dreamer like you, and then you need somebody reasonable to pull you back a little bit. You don't agree with that at all. There needs to be a little. There needs to be a guy going, hey, I love where your head's at, but let's. Let's apply this to reality a little bit.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but this. He's not living in reality. We just found four local.

[Nate Bargettze]

No, no, no. That's not what he's saying. He's saying, because if you had your way, every. Every house in natural Nashville would have orange trees and pear trees and pineapple trees.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And he's going, well, not pine, obviously. Obviously. You don't grow things that are not gonna produce fruits.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's all he's. He's saying. You gotta dial it back.

[Dusty Slay]

There's plenty of. There's plenty of fruit trees that will grow.

[Nate Bargettze]

You're out your death on this one, dude. I'm going with surge.

[Dusty Slay]

There's plenty of fruit trees that will produce fruit. All he's saying is, oh, some of these might need a little more water. But people are watering their lawn.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's how water shortages start. It's just a little more water.

[Dusty Slay]

All the water go into the gutter, it goes into the thing, and then it goes into a filtration system filtered all the way back to you. Again, it's all, there's no such thing as a drought.

[Nate Bargettze]

There's no such thing as a water.

[Dusty Slay]

Poorly managed places. Okay, the.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, then, I mean, there are a lot of poorly managed places.

[Reno Collier]

Right?

[Nate Bargettze]

So this is what surge is accounting for.

[Dusty Slay]

So you have. You have fruit. Everybody's watering their lawns all the time. So instead of putting that into lawn, you put it into fruit trees.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay, but if you throw up an orange tree in your yard, it's going to mess up the ecosystem of your whole old neighborhood.

[Reno Collier]

Monkeys.

[Dusty Slay]

No, it's not. It's gonna be a. Serge doesn't even put his full name on YouTube. He can't he's a protecting.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think he's a surge protector.

[Dusty Slay]

He's like, for better or worse.

[Reno Collier]

See, that's why I love his tweets. Yeah, that's what his tweets are. Just a little thing.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, Serge. Protecting the neighborhoods out here.

[Dusty Slay]

The point is that, yes, I make the statement, but when you're actually going to execute it. Yeah. You put more thought into it. You figure out what.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's all he's saying.

[Dusty Slay]

No, he isn't.

[Nate Bargettze]

You just don't like the first sentence of his comment, which I don't usually agree with. Dusty. And this is.

[Dusty Slay]

No, he says he goes planting fruit trees everywhere. Seems like a great idea, except that most fruits aren't. Okay, well, we're not going to use the ones that aren't native. How about that? This guy.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, will you take down all your fruit trees and put up Chickasaw plums?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, then you. You don't even put your money where your mouth is.

[Reno Collier]

I don't.

[Dusty Slay]

Serge doesn't tell me how to live my life.

[Brian Bates]

His HOA died. He should.

[Nate Bargettze]

I think Serge has his head on his shoulders.

[Dusty Slay]

Serge is right now is buying grocery store fruit and he never will have a free piece of fruit.

[Nate Bargettze]

Dude, Serge is growing Appalachian bananas in his backyard. And I think he's doing the right thing now.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty, a lot of people said they have fruit trees and if you don't pick them, they fall on the ground. And rats and animals.

[Nate Bargettze]

All kinds of unspeakable horrors.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, rats. And so now the owls have food. Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Then you got an owl problem at your neighborhood.

[Dusty Slay]

There's no such thing as an owl.

[Nate Bargettze]

Not yet. Thank God. Cuz people aren't throwing up trees now.

[Dusty Slay]

You have owls eating. It's, it's. It's called the eco.

[Brian Bates]

The circle of life.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

This is how like it's us removing all these things that's put us in the spot where we're, where we're, we're. You know, the, the grocery store controls us. Whatever fruit they have. We don't even know about all these varieties of vegetables and fruits that are out there because we just get what. What they give us. We get what Kroger gives us. Kroger's like, you heard of tomatoes? Here's a couple of varieties. Cherries. And you like these other.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, black cherries are native Tennessee fruits right there. You can grow some black cherries in your backyard and not disrupt the ecosystem.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, great. Let's get paw paws and some black cherries.

[Reno Collier]

And a Parrot.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. What's a persimmon?

[Dusty Slay]

That's like a little orange. A little orange fruit? Yeah, yeah, it's like.

[Reno Collier]

Like a tangerine.

[Nate Bargettze]

It looks like a tomato trying to be.

[Dusty Slay]

It's almost like a plum and peach, I think.

[Nate Bargettze]

No, they're looking.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, no, that's a different fruit I'm talking about. Yeah, the fruit I'm talking about sounds like a dirty fruit. I don't even want to say.

[Nate Bargettze]

How well do you know the persimmon? Not good.

[Reno Collier]

It's pronounced permission.

[Brian Bates]

I'm sorry.

[Reno Collier]

Persimmon is it? So it does look like a peach.

[Nate Bargettze]

It might be the most underweight, underrated winter fruit according to most European Europeans. I don't know what when that poll got issues, but.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, this is because people. People like surge.

[Nate Bargettze]

Those underrated fruit is.

[Dusty Slay]

People like Serge are like, oh, you can't grow anything there. You can't grow anything there. They're not native.

[Reno Collier]

There are apple. You could grow apples here.

[Dusty Slay]

Totally.

[Reno Collier]

Don't people grow peaches?

[Nate Bargettze]

I wouldn't, dude. I wouldn't. I think it'd be bad.

[Reno Collier]

Why?

[Nate Bargettze]

Just it's gonna disrupt the.

[Dusty Slay]

And who is these people? Like if you don't pick them.

[Reno Collier]

Pick them. Feed the worms.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I'm talking about. Pick them.

[Reno Collier]

Pick the apples when they're ready.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, A lot of them, they. They're raw in the vine or I mean they. And they. You're not going to eat them.

[Dusty Slay]

So they pick them up, put them in the compost.

[Reno Collier]

We used to eat those little cran apples.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

They used to fall up the tree. We throw. Hit each other is what we call them. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

In West Virginia.

[Dusty Slay]

They all over the.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, they're super bitter.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we used to eat those.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, me too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. My mom makes a crab apple jam.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, that's nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Which seems like the worst. No, I bet it's fruit to do. It is good, though. A lot of sugar in there.

[Reno Collier]

Sounds like a music festival.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

J.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, dude. Chickasaw Plum is headlining, followed by the Black Cherries.

[Brian Bates]

Jeremy D. Alger. Alger. Alger. This is the second straight episode where Dusty spoke about having an HP hoa. I can't believe that he would ever buy property that came with other people able to tell him what to do with it. Does he really have an hoa?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, this is what happens when you buy a house and you don't have any guidance. You have no. No one around. You going, hey, you better check to see if there's an hoa. Yeah, I'm just Like, oh, I'd like to own a house. Right. And then I get there and there's some lady going, you got to paint that thing or I'm going to give you a fine.

[Nate Bargettze]

Now, knowing what you know now, would you have bought a different house? Because.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I probably would have tried to search out a no. Hoa.

[Nate Bargettze]

Wow. It's been that much of a no. No.

[Dusty Slay]

My is actually pretty chill. And I. And I do appreciate it to some degree because.

[Nate Bargettze]

And you're not the easiest house in the neighborhood.

[Dusty Slay]

But I keep. It's my backyard that it gets wild. I keep the front yard.

[Brian Bates]

Fruit trees everywhere.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but is that a paw paw?

[Reno Collier]

This is a cheetah back there.

[Brian Bates]

But yeah, the back part of the ecosystem, fellas.

[Dusty Slay]

It's wild, but the front yard is good. And yeah, I mean, they're pretty chill. It's not a big deal much, is it? I don't know.

[Nate Bargettze]

How much do you make? How much do you make a year before taxes?

[Reno Collier]

Well, take your tax receipts with you.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't remember how much.

[Brian Bates]

Statue of Liberty guy down the street.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not very much, but you know.

[Reno Collier]

Well, I've been to your house. It's. You're. You're not in like some staunchy snotty neighborhood.

[Dusty Slay]

No, no, it's.

[Reno Collier]

You pay hoa to pick up your garbage, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, no, they don't even pick up the garbage. But they. You just pay them. You know, they go around and if people are not cutting their grass, they'll be like, hey, you got to cutting your grass kind of thing. And it keeps things up to a certain standard. Just that I appreciate it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Peer pressure that you pay for.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, they find you. So it's more than peer pressure.

[Reno Collier]

And there's also those psychopaths that like, see if your garage door is all the way down and all that kind of stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not like those people.

[Nate Bargettze]

I got fined because I didn't put my trash can all the way away.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Behind the house. I tucked it around the corner, but they were like, well, you can still see it if you're looking for it.

[Reno Collier]

You know the best way to handle that? Just throw those in the trash. I do not pay them. Yeah, I'm like, no. What are you. What? There's nothing they can do?

[Nate Bargettze]

Reno, he owes 500 grand.

[Reno Collier]

No, it's not. But it's like 50. But you're gonna spend 10 grand on an attorney to take me to court for the.

[Nate Bargettze]

No, makes sense.

[Reno Collier]

Make my neighbor clean up his. He has a camper out there. Fixes that's in the. Your stupid papers.

[Dusty Slay]

But if I, you know, if I sell and buy again, I. My plan would be to not even.

[Nate Bargettze]

Live in a neighborhood or a city, just unincorporated.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I will try to buy more land, you know, like a house with more acreage and maybe not have, you know, or maybe disappear from society.

[Reno Collier]

I'm kind of in that boat too. Like, I want to move out in the middle where no one is.

[Dusty Slay]

Let's do a thing together.

[Reno Collier]

I'm. I'm in my wife. The house. You've been to my house, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Not the new one.

[Reno Collier]

Okay. So when. During COVID I was working construction and doing anything I could, and I was like, we're gonna move out in the country, out in the middle of nowhere, right? And I'm gonna get some horses. And my wife is like, what are you talking about? She's like, this is gonna end and you're gonna have to. I'm like, no, we're going out in the middle of nowhere. So she found this house that backs up to an equestrian thing that was left to MTSU and a grant. So there's horses out back, but the houses are way.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I have been there.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, you've been there.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

So she's like. She goes, look, this is how we're gonna do this. You're not moving me out in the country with a bunch of chickens so you can go on the road for three weeks. We're gonna the horses and stand on the back porch and pretend you're on Yellowstone or whatever you think you're doing. She's like, you'd kill a horse in six weeks.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we went to. Me and. Me and my. I'm gonna. Me and my wife went to Reno's house one time, and our daughter and my daughter Daisy, my wife Hannah. And Reno. And Reno. Reno's like, praying before we eat, and he's like, I just, you know, I just want to thank you for bringing, bringing. And he's trying to talk. Mention my daughter. And he goes, just wanna thank you for bringing beautiful Hannah out to us, dude.

[Reno Collier]

And I didn't even pick up on it. And I kept going. I was like, she's so beautiful, and it's so nice that we could be here together. And I'm like, amen. And I look up and Hannah goes, well, thank you. My wife is like, what is wrong with you? And I'm like, what are you talking about? She goes, you said, hannah, Hannah. And I'm. I was just. You Know when you go into panic? Like, I was like, I thought they were both Hannah. Like, I didn't know what I was supposed to. I've known Hannah for. I've known her for like 10 years at that point. But something got. Something got tweaked in my head. And the baby, I'm like, so beautiful, you know, and my wife is like.

[Dusty Slay]

And my daughter was very young. She was a little baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Hannah's just beautiful.

[Reno Collier]

She's so beautiful. We're so thankful she could come here and we could finally see her. Dusty's crying and I have no idea that I done it. Like, I didn't. Even after I was done, I didn't understand why I was in trouble immediately.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

But Hannah's face. I open my eyes and I look up and she's like, well, thank you. You more.

[Nate Bargettze]

I've never, never had a prayer all about me like that. It's pretty nice.

[Reno Collier]

It's so creepy. Bizarre. Anyway, sorry about that.

[Dusty Slay]

Now. Now I have to change my prayers at home now. They all have to be like, yeah, goes do it like Reno, does it.

[Nate Bargettze]

Thank you. Every day you brought Hannah into my life.

[Reno Collier]

Here we go. We're never eating at the Colliers again.

[Brian Bates]

John Dixon. Kazi's is down the road for me. And I wonder if either Dusty and. Or Aaron had been there. I guess he just knows I hadn't. If so. If so, what was that experience like? Like at that. As that place can be a bit wild, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

Matter of fact, me and Aaron have been there together.

[Nate Bargettze]

Together. It's the only time I've been there.

[Dusty Slay]

I've been there several times.

[Reno Collier]

Is that in Ohio?

[Dusty Slay]

It's in Newport News, Virginia.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, my gosh, I forgot about that. Is it still there?

[Dusty Slay]

I think so, yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

He's just still there. Yeah. What I remember specifically about that weekend was. And everybody at the club was very nice to us and I always had a great. We had a good time. Time. But the condo, the week before, the comedian that was staying there had died in the condo. Literally or literally died on the floor. At the floor of, like, the bathroom.

[Dusty Slay]

And of my side of the condo.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

He was the headliner that time. I was in the. The feature room.

[Brian Bates]

You don't know the pressures of being a headliner.

[Reno Collier]

I mean, it's. Especially at Kazis.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Hannah was there with me. We were. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

She's beautiful.

[Reno Collier]

She really.

[Nate Bargettze]

So we were the first comics in there after. After that comic had died. So we, you know, we lit some candles, we said some Prayers. We got. We got.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Got a little spirits out of there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. But we have been there, and I've been there a few times. Jim Seward took me there for the first time.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, that's cool.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, and it's. Yeah, I like it, dude. It is rowdy, though. It gets wild in there.

[Reno Collier]

I remember Kazi's now. What's the place that's in Ohio? And it may not even be there anymore, but, like, Red Fox used to perform there. They had, like, a really crazy green room, but you stay in. Down in a condo by the kitchen. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's in northern Ohio.

[Dusty Slay]

Ah, I don't.

[Reno Collier]

It's weird. It's a really cool. It's not Toledo. It's a really cool. Like, they have big seats and leather and.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, Dayton, Ohio, had Wiley's. Wiley's.

[Reno Collier]

Did you stay down?

[Dusty Slay]

I never did. I only went there for an open mic one time.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, was it weird?

[Reno Collier]

Oh, and someone died in there, too. But that's what made me think about just. Just to keep that going on a comedy podcast.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that happens. Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

The condo in Wichita had no. No windows. And it's like, you don't think you need a window that bad until you don't have one for, like, four days. Yeah, I'd love a window, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

And then you would be there, like, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then on, like, Thursday, you would go to this barbecue restaurant, and they would give you a bunch of free barbecue. So all the comics will go in there, you get a whole platter of barbecue, you eat, and you take it back to the condo, and you're all eating the smoked meat all week, all three in this windowless condo.

[Nate Bargettze]

Just steaming up the.

[Brian Bates]

All right, we got about 30 minutes left.

[Nate Bargettze]

Let's get into it. That's all we need for this state, huh?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. You know, Reno, I always associated you with West Virginia. You look like a guy who's from West Virginia.

[Reno Collier]

I am. Well, my entire family is. I lived in Virginia more, though.

[Brian Bates]

I texted Reno and said, hey, let's talk about West Virginia. He's like, well, can we talk about Virginia?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, well, here's the thing. Like, West Virginia. I call him.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's gotta hurt.

[Reno Collier]

It. No, no, it's good.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's got to hurt. West Virginia. Virginia, though.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, I know. It's my home. I love.

[Dusty Slay]

West Virginia is great.

[Reno Collier]

I just lived there.

[Nate Bargettze]

We like places like that on this podcast.

[Reno Collier]

Like, West.

[Nate Bargettze]

Like, we don't look down on places and go, can we talk about Something.

[Reno Collier]

Why did you. Why don't you pull up the list of people from West Virginia?

[Nate Bargettze]

Are you top of the list?

[Reno Collier]

I don't know if I'm still on it or not. I was for a while. Dude. That is my home, but I lived in Virginia longer.

[Brian Bates]

When did you live in Virginia? What ages.

[Reno Collier]

So from. I was little. The thing was, I went to a military school for high school, so I didn't live at home. I live. I was in Waynesboro, Virginia, then. Before that, I lived in Woodbridge, Virginia, and Centerville, Virginia. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Fisher, too.

[Brian Bates]

About 10 years.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

You're not on here anymore, man. They took me off after what happened at the Opry.

[Reno Collier]

That's it.

[Nate Bargettze]

No, hold on.

[Reno Collier]

Take me off.

[Brian Bates]

They heard about this podcast. He's like, this guy's claiming Virginia.

[Reno Collier]

Right. Right. Reno. You're on Athletes, which, honestly, I should be on there, too. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You are a PE Teacher.

[Reno Collier]

I was, yeah. I played baseball for about six weeks.

[Nate Bargettze]

I'm not under Frontiersman. Maybe Literature and art.

[Brian Bates]

Morgan, Morgan, that's not.

[Dusty Slay]

He is an author.

[Nate Bargettze]

Author. Now.

[Reno Collier]

Country Fried Takes is for sale. Literature and art.

[Brian Bates]

Military. You did some military.

[Reno Collier]

That was in high school.

[Dusty Slay]

Religion, politics. You've argued with the guy in a parking lot.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Reno Collier]

See if it. They might have taken me off this week.

[Brian Bates]

We're talking about Virginia.

[Reno Collier]

Who gained celebrity from.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's a little reductive. I'm sorry.

[Reno Collier]

Military school.

[Dusty Slay]

Great state.

[Brian Bates]

That's where I'm going.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm going to Virginia Beach.

[Reno Collier]

I love the state.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Love it. Although it's like three different states now.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Like, Northern Virginia is nothing. Nothing like southern. Southwest Virginia is nothing like the east coast of Virginia. Like it. It used to, when I was younger, felt Southern.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And now it's. I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

Actually, the first time I went to Virginia, I ordered a sweet tea at a place and they got real snooty with me. And it was in Norfolk, and they were like, oh, we have tea and we can bring you sugar.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. Which is somehow is not the same.

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Reno Collier]

Well, it's not, because you can't get it to do anything.

[Dusty Slay]

But it's just so weird to act snooty about that. It's like, okay, so you do have the capability to make tea sweet, and.

[Reno Collier]

You'Re just doing it on purpose.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

What happened to Virginia was there's so many military bases and there's people coming from all different areas. Then in Northern Virginia, you have the entire government and military that's based out of D.C. no one lives in D.C. so they're either in Maryland or Virginia. So that kind of branches out. And it took the culture of Virginia and turned it into more of an international type of place. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you go to Southern Virginia and it's like, it's so good to see you. Thank God you're here and I appreciate everything about you. Would you like a persimmon or a pawpaw or a monkey and a banana?

[Brian Bates]

It was named after Queen Elizabeth I of England, who was called the Virgin. Virgin Queen. Oh, West Virginia was named after her more promiscuous cousin.

[Reno Collier]

You had to say cousin.

[Brian Bates]

Didn't you get around a little bit? Yeah, yeah, but that's where, you know, next to maybe Massachusetts, Virginia has probably maybe more history than.

[Reno Collier]

Dude, it's all over US History.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Civil War. I mean, the capital Confederacy was in Richmond, right?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's the only reason I lived there. You're talking about the War of Northern Aggression.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, exactly.

[Reno Collier]

Yes, I understand. No, it. It was. And people don't realize that. That's what I mean by the infiltration of like, people from all over the country and the world that's moved there. Richmond was a purely southern town and now it's not at all like, it's. And the universities and the, you know, younger people.

[Dusty Slay]

I do a club in short, Pump Virginia.

[Reno Collier]

Dude, I love that funny bone.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. I go there when I'm working on my hour.

[Brian Bates]

When he wants to run his hour, that's where he goes.

[Nate Bargettze]

Goes?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, that's where I go to work out new stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Is that what you do?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, no, I like.

[Reno Collier]

I do like a two hour show. How long?

[Brian Bates]

I mean, the. The Jamestown colony. The first.

[Reno Collier]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

British.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that the Jamestown Fairy?

[Brian Bates]

I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

You know the song she just called the Jamestown Fairy? Charlie Crockett has a great.

[Nate Bargettze]

They're going up I95. Tanya Tucker down ferry January.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. He took I95 to Richmond. Bonnie and Clyde.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. But he couldn't get there.

[Brian Bates]

Anyway, Jamestown was the first English settlement. 1607. We just talked about a couple weeks ago, the whole Pocahontas John Smith story, which is probably not true, but that's all came from Jamestown. It's called the Mother of Presidents. Virginia.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Eight presidents have come from Virginia.

[Nate Bargettze]

Is that the most of any other state?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Including four out of the first five.

[Reno Collier]

I got a relative way back on my mom's side. There's a place called Hume, Virginia. And my mom's maiden name is Hume and my. One of my great, great, great, great grandfathers ever taught George Washington how to survey.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Pretty cool.

[Nate Bargettze]

I thought you say surf.

[Reno Collier]

It was going to sound like surf in Virginia Beach. He. He was the first feature there and he did this weird thing with his teeth. They were wooden. And he did this David Letterman. It was weird.

[Brian Bates]

But. Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Getting dizzy.

[Brian Bates]

George Washington.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Thomas Jefferson.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

There's George right there. James Monroe, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, Zachary Taylor and Woodrow Wilson.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay. But then it's been about 110 years or so and not. Not a single one from Virginia, huh?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Virginia really fell off.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Dry spell.

[Nate Bargettze]

Dry spell. It'll come back. They'll come back.

[Brian Bates]

John Tyler was born in the late 1700s. President, I think, early 1800s. And he still has a grandson. Grandson alive.

[Nate Bargettze]

Wow. Did you know that?

[Reno Collier]

Grandson?

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

No way, dude.

[Brian Bates]

Like, isn't that crazy?

[Reno Collier]

Like, for like one generation down.

[Brian Bates]

Well, do you know what grand kids are?

[Nate Bargettze]

That would be.

[Reno Collier]

I know what they are, but I also know what the 1700s are. And it's like, mathematically, was he 140?

[Brian Bates]

He was really old when he had his child. I guess his child was really old when he had his child.

[Nate Bargettze]

And.

[Brian Bates]

And now his child is like, grandchild is like 90 something years old.

[Reno Collier]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. So he's 96. Harrison Ruffin Tyler. He's born in 1928.

[Reno Collier]

How old was his dad?

[Nate Bargettze]

That's a good question.

[Reno Collier]

He had to have been 100.

[Nate Bargettze]

He had been pretty old, dude. Yeah, they used to party back then, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

My grandfather was born in 1900 and I have a younger sister that was born in 2000.

[Brian Bates]

That's crazy.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. There's a lot of math going on here.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So a hundred years. Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's wild.

[Reno Collier]

I had a grandfather was born in 1902.

[Nate Bargettze]

He beat you by two years.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

That's crazy, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

I'm just even thinking about the 1900s.

[Dusty Slay]

I know.

[Reno Collier]

Like, it sounds like the 1800s. Used to. When you were in school, like a long time ago, my kids were like, yeah, he's from the 1900s. I'm like, don't say that. Yeah, crazy.

[Brian Bates]

You know, I would say age.

[Reno Collier]

I think 54.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, I thought you meant 1954.

[Reno Collier]

No. Yeah. I'm 76. How old are you?

[Brian Bates]

No, I'm.

[Reno Collier]

By the way, I've gone to the bathroom three times since we've been sitting here. Are you allowed to say that?

[Brian Bates]

I am 53. I'll be 54 later this year.

[Reno Collier]

All right. How old your kid?

[Brian Bates]

Three.

[Reno Collier]

Three yeah. You're going to be like that guy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Nate Bargettze]

There you go. Brian Bates has a living gr.

[Brian Bates]

Son.

[Nate Bargettze]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Remember that guy from that podcast? Yeah. He has a.

[Brian Bates]

The guy from Nat Land.

[Reno Collier]

He's 106 and he just had a baby. Who is that guy? Tony Randall.

[Nate Bargettze]

I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Tony Randall.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. He was doing that, wasn't he?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Robert Dairo's doing it now.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Robert Dairo's got a two year old.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. That's why he has those lifts on his shoes.

[Dusty Slay]

I did see that.

[Reno Collier]

Did you see that? That not just that ruined goodfellas.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

For me.

[Dusty Slay]

All right. I was thinking about that. Like sometimes the legends it is. I mean, you know, it's sad when people die, but sometimes it's like if they just fade away.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They don't have to die, but retire and move on. It's better you remember them in a better time.

[Reno Collier]

There is. There is not one human being that can look right with like four foot blocks on the. Or four inch blocks on the bottom of their shoes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Like, unless you're 10 foot feet tall, there's no good look.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

For that. And when I saw those on the bottom of his feet, it really did ruin movies for me, like.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

So the whole time he's more like Joe Pesci. I thought he was like six, two or something.

[Brian Bates]

I haven't seen what you're talking about.

[Dusty Slay]

I never took him for a tall guy.

[Reno Collier]

No.

[Brian Bates]

Average height.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Robert De Niro wears these things on the bottom of his shoes to make him look taller. They're like.

[Nate Bargettze]

So they can be eye level in scenes and stuff, right?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

I don't.

[Reno Collier]

I don't think he does it just like going to the groceries. I think it was for a movie and they caught a picture of him, but it just threw me.

[Nate Bargettze]

Tony Randall got married first in 1938.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

And then she passed away and then he had another. He got married again. Had. He had a kid in 1998. Yeah, he had a kid 60 years after his first marriage.

[Dusty Slay]

How. When was he born?

[Nate Bargettze]

He was born in 1920, so he was 18 when he got married first, and then he had a kid at 78.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Reno Collier]

78.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. That's wild, man.

[Reno Collier]

Good for him.

[Nate Bargettze]

God bless him.

[Reno Collier]

How old was his wife?

[Nate Bargettze]

25.

[Reno Collier]

That's an odd couple.

[Dusty Slay]

I guess. I guess his kid can't expect.

[Brian Bates]

Boom.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. Two old guys got that reference.

[Reno Collier]

Some old man's listening to this, his kid's listening to it, and the old man just popped up and Goes. Got that one.

[Brian Bates]

Jack Klugman.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Jackman doesn't know what they're talking about. The odd Couple.

[Dusty Slay]

I've heard it.

[Reno Collier]

It was a tv.

[Dusty Slay]

I've heard it.

[Reno Collier]

It was a TV show.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

A long time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. You ever watch Nick at night?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

TV Land, anything like that?

[Reno Collier]

You ever up at 2 o'clock in the morning with nothing to do?

[Brian Bates]

Jack Klugman went on to play Quincy.

[Reno Collier]

I loved Quincy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. All right.

[Reno Collier]

Still nothing.

[Dusty Slay]

And I've heard of Quincy, too. Remember, Quincy's the steakhouse.

[Brian Bates]

I do.

[Reno Collier]

Different guy.

[Brian Bates]

As far as we know, we're not sure.

[Nate Bargettze]

John Quincy Quincy Adams.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Bring it back to the President.

[Brian Bates]

Boom. Good job, Eric.

[Reno Collier]

Sounds pretty good. That was good.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Do you guys know the phrase, give me liberty or give me death?

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

It was by Patrick Henry, 250 years ago. Yesterday was the anniversary.

[Reno Collier]

I was gonna say today, but I guess I was.

[Dusty Slay]

I support. I'm still a fan of that club. I support it.

[Reno Collier]

Me, too.

[Brian Bates]

That was all about the Revolutionary War. Virginia getting involved. Boston or Massachusetts was like, these dudes are riling us up.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

He's like, let's go.

[Reno Collier]

Yep, yep.

[Brian Bates]

I've got all this historical stuff. Let's get to the good stuff. Smithville ham.

[Reno Collier]

Love it. Virginia has killer ham. I'm not kidding.

[Brian Bates]

Sometimes it's just called Virginia ham.

[Reno Collier]

It says Virginia ham. It's real salty.

[Nate Bargettze]

What's different about it? What do you. What do you do that we can't do in Tennessee?

[Reno Collier]

It's the way it's cured. You can do it here.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, why don't we salt.

[Reno Collier]

Well, you're just not.

[Brian Bates]

It's got to be in the ecosystem.

[Reno Collier]

You don't think it through, man.

[Brian Bates]

Talk to surge about native to your state.

[Reno Collier]

Virginia's been doing that forever. Virginia's known for ham.

[Nate Bargettze]

I don't think it is, man. I've never heard that. Never heard of Virginia ham? Dude, I've heard of Virginia. That's about.

[Reno Collier]

Well, that was there, too. Winston Salem was in North Carolina.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. They were all around. Marboro was in Maryland. I don't think so. There is an Upper Marlboro, Maryland, but Newport, California? I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought there's a new skull.

[Reno Collier]

Copenhagen.

[Nate Bargettze]

Grizzlies in Alaska. Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Zen is in la.

[Dusty Slay]

We got Kodiak, Alaska.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Alaska's doing good.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You have tobacco?

[Reno Collier]

Keep going. What's the next one?

[Dusty Slay]

Tobacco is Parliament D.C. black and mild.

[Reno Collier]

Yep.

[Brian Bates]

I have no idea what you guys talking about.

[Reno Collier]

Cigarettes and tobacco.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, I guess again, I'M strong, so, yeah, I don't need vices.

[Reno Collier]

You just have tb.

[Brian Bates]

That is true. That is true. Anyway, tobacco is the big One of the big products in.

[Reno Collier]

Yep. And going back to the 1700s, John.

[Brian Bates]

Rolfe, who end up marrying Pocahontas, he.

[Reno Collier]

Also invented thrown up. Sorry. They're not all good, but they all come out.

[Brian Bates]

The Native Americans were growing a type of tobacco that was very harsh. This was sweeter, I think, you know, more enjoyable. So it kind of took off. So that's why Virginia is one of the big tobacco producers.

[Dusty Slay]

Where did that tobacco come from?

[Brian Bates]

South America. He brought it up from South America.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Reno Collier]

Is that where it started? And then it. Because there was tobacco fields everywhere in Virginia.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

So the Europeans that came to America. America, they were introduced to tobacco here. They didn't grow tobacco in England.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think so. I think their ecosystem couldn't handle it.

[Dusty Slay]

There is something to, you know, growing something.

[Reno Collier]

They smoke everything. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

In the right area, it's got smoked ham.

[Nate Bargettze]

Smoked ham, Virginia ham.

[Reno Collier]

That guy Anthony Clark used to do a joke about. He was from Glattus, Virginia, and he goes was with. Oh, never mind.

[Nate Bargettze]

Sorry. Can't say it.

[Reno Collier]

I can. Somebody smoked a ham after. So sorry. Brian, go ahead.

[Brian Bates]

Virginia Slims.

[Reno Collier]

This is turned out like the opera. I'll never be back.

[Dusty Slay]

Wait till they tag the sponsor.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, Mountain View. That was an old sponsor of ours. It started in Virginia.

[Nate Bargettze]

Wow. How about that?

[Brian Bates]

In the mountains of West Virginia. Yeah. But anyway, Virginia Slims. I was going to say there was a TV ad on Tonight show with Johnny Carson. People smoking. And then quickly, they made a law. You can't smoke. You can't do cigarette commercials on television.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Johnny used to smoke during the show.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

That's so crazy.

[Reno Collier]

I love those old things.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, that seems like a chill show.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. They were really having fun.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Drinking and smoking.

[Nate Bargettze]

Cigar might be more the vibe that you want, though.

[Dusty Slay]

But Chappelle does the cigarettes on stage and it seems chill.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, Yeah, I guess so. But I still think of a frantic energy with a cigarette.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, but they didn't used to smoke them like that. Like when I was a kid, my grandparents and everything. You'd see a cigarette and there'd be an ash three or four inches long. They'd light it a little bit because.

[Nate Bargettze]

They'Re just gonna light another one as soon as that one's done.

[Reno Collier]

My grandpa used to fall asleep with him in his mouth and he'd like, come out of a dead sleep when the hot Coal hit and burned through his shirt.

[Nate Bargettze]

A lot of people died that way. A lot of people.

[Dusty Slay]

You ever see the top? Any of those Tom Waits interviews from back in the day where he'd be smiling?

[Reno Collier]

Those are really interesting, entertaining, sucking down lung darts.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Have you ever told anyone Virginia's for lovers?

[Reno Collier]

That's on the bumper stickers all over the place.

[Brian Bates]

You've heard that, right?

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, it was a license plate. Right.

[Dusty Slay]

When I was in dc, I. I made a joke about that. And I say, you know. You know, you read that sign and the. The. And I don't remember the joke, but the in the S for lovers is where you put the heart. But we're not all. We've not all decided that the heart means. Means V, you know?

[Reno Collier]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

What if it's an ass?

[Nate Bargettze]

But I think it kind of looks.

[Dusty Slay]

Like a V. Virginia is for.

[Nate Bargettze]

Kind of looks like.

[Dusty Slay]

But what if it was an ass? Losers.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, losers, they would have put it.

[Reno Collier]

In is for losers.

[Dusty Slay]

There's a V right there.

[Reno Collier]

Supposed to say, Virginia is for lovers and D.C. is for bullets.

[Nate Bargettze]

But there's two other s. Two other s's on.

[Dusty Slay]

There's a voice right here, though.

[Nate Bargettze]

But there's two other s's, so it can't be an S. But it can't.

[Dusty Slay]

We can't be a V. Well, then.

[Nate Bargettze]

What do you want it to be?

[Dusty Slay]

I'm just saying the joke. And people liked it when I was there.

[Brian Bates]

And then you said, brian Bates needs a smoke.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. People like the joke. I forget it. It's been a while.

[Brian Bates]

But anyway, it's one of the most popular tourist campaigns ever.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

They should put a heart in Virginia, too. If you're going to do that. If it's going to be.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. You set a standard. That's the key. And then you go, virginia's for what it is.

[Reno Collier]

That's kind of irritating now. It's only the one.

[Brian Bates]

Virginia is the most populated state in the country that doesn't have a pro sports team. Major league sports team.

[Reno Collier]

At least not one.

[Dusty Slay]

Huh.

[Brian Bates]

Aaron disagrees.

[Nate Bargettze]

Well, I mean, they. D.C. is kind of up there, right?

[Dusty Slay]

For.

[Nate Bargettze]

For a lot of it.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Nate Bargettze]

So.

[Reno Collier]

But that's what everybody is. They're either like D.C. or Baltimore. Yeah.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Sorry I burped into the mic. Sorry about that, guys. I hold them back, though.

[Nate Bargettze]

It happens. It happens, man.

[Brian Bates]

Virginia's basketball team, first number one seed ever lose to a 16 seed in March Madness.

[Reno Collier]

What year was that?

[Brian Bates]

Not like five years ago.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then the next season, they won the whole thing.

[Nate Bargettze]

Have you been to University of Virginia campus? A lot of, like, it's cool because Thomas Jefferson designed a lot of it, but a lot of, like, secret society stuff going on.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, heck yeah. Yeah, the lawn. That area where, like, my cousin went there, and she's super smart and she lived there, and I'm surprised you're into.

[Dusty Slay]

The secret society stuff, Aaron.

[Reno Collier]

Hey, you want to hear something cool? I saw a UFO by uva.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Not even kidding.

[Dusty Slay]

You got a video?

[Reno Collier]

No. We were leaving a football. UVA football game, going to my buddy's, Zach's house. We're driving by, and there's a field.

[Brian Bates]

Were you drunk.

[Reno Collier]

Brian? Lest ye judge. Lest ye be judged.

[Brian Bates]

Want to know going into the story? All right, go ahead.

[Reno Collier]

I'm talking about. Let's not.

[Nate Bargettze]

Let's judge. Be ye.

[Reno Collier]

Let's let ye be judges. Through the judge. We were driving back to the game, and my buddy Zach goes, dude, what it? And we look up, and there's a green light in the air over this huge field. He lived way out in the country over this huge, huge field. He pulls his car over. We look, and that quick. It was like. And was gone. Then there's a whole bunch of military.

[Nate Bargettze]

It went away or you saw it kind of. Dart.

[Reno Collier]

I saw a dart and it disappeared.

[Nate Bargettze]

Whoa.

[Reno Collier]

And it freaked us out. We sat there for like 15 minutes. Like, are we losing? Like, did that. We all saw that, right? Like, it was creepy. I don't care what anybody says. They're out there. Yeah. And they're coming for us. We need to get ready.

[Brian Bates]

Aaron Rodgers saw one. Do you know that?

[Reno Collier]

I'm sure he did. I guarantee he did.

[Brian Bates]

William and Mary is the second oldest college.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I did comedy once at William and Mary way back.

[Reno Collier]

Did you at a.

[Dusty Slay]

Like a fraternity thing? Oh, my buddy, Evan Burke was a.

[Nate Bargettze]

He went to go to school there.

[Dusty Slay]

He had a connection there.

[Nate Bargettze]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Through his fraternity. And we went up, did a. Yeah. I'd never done a road gig. I think that was my first road gig. William and Mary College, dude.

[Reno Collier]

When I was in military high school, on weekends we could get away. And it was right by the whole Charlottesville, that entire area. And we would go. There was a girls school and William and Mary also, we'd go. And we were in our military school uniforms, and they all thought we went to vmi, which was college. So we'd hook up with these girls. But I, like, have acne and braces, and I'm like, I love vmi. You Know what I mean? It was.

[Brian Bates]

You did that too, right, with all Auburn, at Auburn.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It didn't go as well for me.

[Reno Collier]

He tried.

[Dusty Slay]

I would do that. Yeah, well, I grew up next to Opelika, right, so. Or I grew up in Opelika next to Auburn, so. Yeah. I mean, so you go to Auburn just to parties, and you just be like, yeah, go here.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But then falls apart pretty quick because I don't know anything.

[Reno Collier]

The uniform was the selling point for us. Yeah. Because they don't. Nobody can tell the difference between a college and a high school military. No one dresses up like that. I mean, you'd have to really be in the game to go buy all that stuff and not even go to a military school. It'd be a bit much.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

The wool pants burn off your hair.

[Brian Bates]

Some famous people from Virginia, Reno, Collier.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, we already know that.

[Brian Bates]

Sandra Bullock, Chris Pratt, Rob Lowe, Jason Sudeikis, Vince mann graduate. Vince McMahon graduated from Fishburne Military.

[Reno Collier]

He went to my military school.

[Nate Bargettze]

Did he really?

[Brian Bates]

You know, Come on, don't try to take.

[Reno Collier]

I'm sorry.

[Brian Bates]

No, I'm joking.

[Reno Collier]

No, he really did.

[Brian Bates]

I put that on there because I need. You went there.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. No, he really did go there.

[Brian Bates]

I know. He really did.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Bates]

I thought I saw your Wikipedia page, and then I saw. I looked up Fishburn Military and they said Vince McMahon went there.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, he did. And then I watched my. My wife went with me to an alumni weekend, and everybody's either dead or in AA and na. Like, it's a.

[Nate Bargettze]

We were a mess of.

[Reno Collier]

Guys.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's a fun reunion.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, it's great. It's unbelievable. And we're driving back, my wife goes, you know what? I always thought there was just one of you, but there's a whole bunch of you, right?

[Nate Bargettze]

Just churning you out.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. And then we. It's a bunch of derelicts. Then we watch the Vince McMahon documentary on there, and my wife's sitting there going, I can see that. Yeah, I can see that. He was real jacked up.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey, for people watching, I know I saw you do some. Some, like, testimony stuff on a. On a. A set one night. Where could they find that if people wanted to go watch you talk about that stuff?

[Reno Collier]

My testimony?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Just, you know, getting sober and stuff. I mean, we make a lot of jokes, but there are people that listen that are struggling with alcohol, and it's like they may want.

[Reno Collier]

Do we have just a couple minutes?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Dusty Slay]

I. Yeah. Or just, you know, where they could.

[Reno Collier]

They can watch it in about 15 minutes, I think when I go out there, I think I'm going to do it. I. I've started doing that.

[Dusty Slay]

But, like, do you have a spot where it's at online where people can.

[Nate Bargettze]

Reno call your comedy dot com.

[Brian Bates]

We'll record it tonight.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, I'll. You know what? If. If we're going to. Then I'll do it. It's. It's. It's all God. Yeah, it's. It's all God. And I was a train wreck, and I let it go way too long, and. And I don't care if people think I'm nuts. You know Keith Albertstadt?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

So Keith and I, years ago, were working up in South Bend, Indiana. I was like 25 or 26 years old, and we're walking around, and there was a huge cathedral church at Notre Dame.

[Nate Bargettze]

The basilica.

[Reno Collier]

The basilica.

[Dusty Slay]

You're about to offend Aaron.

[Nate Bargettze]

Me this story.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, yeah. So I'm. I'm like. I'm like, dude, I'm gonna go in there, right? And key. Still walking around. I go in and I'm like, I haven't prayed in forever. So I go over and I get in a kneeler, and there may have been two other people. There's nobody in there. I get down a kneeler, and I. And I just close my eyes and I. Before I say anything, I have this overwhelming like. Like this feeling. I don't care if people think I'm crazy. I know what happened. And I had this overwhelming feeling of Reno, you've got to stop drinking. You're going to destroy yourself. Right? And I got. I got goosebumps right now talking about it. And it. It wigged me out, man. Like, I was sitting there, and I. By the time I got from the kneeler to the back of the church, I convinced myself that I was crazy. It was drugs and alcohol, and this didn't really happen. And it was all this and that, and I was drinking two hours later. Guess what? 25 years ago, after not listening to God, I ended up in hell, and it was all my own doing. And, you know, people can say whatever they want about it. It. It is. And I'm unapologetic about it now. I. I will. I will talk about Jesus to anybody anytime I feel like it. Like this. If I find something that saved my life, it would be pretty selfish for me not to share it with somebody else, and it might help them out. Right. You know what I mean? Not to mention the fact I want to get up to heaven and have Jesus go, hey, dude, verse 45 years were a dumpster fire. But I love what you did at the end.

[Dusty Slay]

Turned it around a little. Turned it around.

[Reno Collier]

So if. If.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I, you know, I'm the same way. I like to joke about it. I love to joke about this stuff, but I don't do these things anymore. And it's like. Yeah, and my life is so much better that I don't.

[Reno Collier]

100%.

[Dusty Slay]

My life immediately got better when I quit drinking.

[Reno Collier]

I don't. I. In my adult life, I don't have a lot of money. I don't have. I have never been happier in my life than I am right this moment.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Like, I never have. I never. I chased fame and all that stuff, and it was empty for me. I know a lot of people.

[Dusty Slay]

And then if the show doesn't go well, you go, oh, I'm sad again.

[Reno Collier]

Well, no, I really don't care.

[Dusty Slay]

No, no. That's how comedy is, though. Yes.

[Reno Collier]

Well, in your shows, but not mine, I was killed. But tonight I'll just be working on my hour. I hope everybody enjoys it. Dude, I can't tell you how much I love being with you guys. I haven't seen you in so long.

[Dusty Slay]

A long time.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's been a while, man.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, it's fun, man.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not working on my hour, by the way. I'm building a new one now, guys.

[Reno Collier]

Building's a nice word. Before the theater.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't hear the last few things you said, but Dollar Tree is based in Virginia.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, thanks. I'm sorry, Brian. I was talking about our Lord and savior. Go ahead.

[Brian Bates]

All right, all right. This. Now we promote our upcoming shows.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So, April 5th, I'm in Columbia, Tennessee, at the Packard Playhouse. April 11th and 12th, Detroit House of Comedy. April 26th, West Bend, Wisconsin, at the Bend Theater. I'm a theater comic now.

[Reno Collier]

Right on.

[Brian Bates]

So anyway, yeah, those are some of the upcoming dates.

[Reno Collier]

Cool. I'm going to be at the Boston Garden. If you really want to see where I am, just go to LarryTheCableGuy.com.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, come on.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, come on. Honestly, we're going. No, I'm not kidding. Like, I. I finished up. I did a bunch of shows in Michigan and all that stuff. I'm going. I haven't been out with him in like a year and a half.

[Nate Bargettze]

Oh, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

And I can't freaking wait. It's gonna be like a reunion type thing.

[Dusty Slay]

I want to hang with you guys, dude, anytime.

[Reno Collier]

I'll tell you. I just want to tell you one more thing real quick. Can I say this real quick? So we were talking about sobriety. Here's something that stuck in my head. And here's the type of dude that he is. Cable guy and I were on a flight one night coming back from a show, and I was hating hammered drunk. And we're sitting there and he's paying for the jet. It's his thing. And he looks at me and he goes, dude, are you having fun? And I go, yeah, man. Are you kidding me? He goes, good. Because all these towns we go to that you get hammered with all these people, they don't care about you at all. And when you're dying, it's going to be me, my wife, and your mom and your kids watching you die. I just want to tell you how much I appreciate that. Oh, my God, dude, that stuck because I was the doctor.

[Dusty Slay]

You want to tell us how much you appreciate that? He said that? He didn't say that to you?

[Reno Collier]

No, he said that to me.

[Dusty Slay]

He said, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate that.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. He was obviously joking. He was kidding. But that stuck in my head. So, like, we've been through this weird relationship through the years. Like, we competed forever, and I'm like, dude, you won. I'm on your bus. You won. But we still compete and everything. But going back on the road road with him, it's not just laughing. It's not just goofing off. I love him. I love his family. I love how he is and what he does.

[Dusty Slay]

He's a great guy. I only met him once, but he's a great guy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I met him once. I thought you did.

[Reno Collier]

Dude, I love.

[Dusty Slay]

I met him one time and we did a show together, and then we had a cigar after, and it was like talking to someone I had known forever. I mean, he's such a genuine guy.

[Reno Collier]

Get into the Bible with him.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I did a little bit.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, that's. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, I wish I was there for that. That would have been good.

[Nate Bargettze]

Niv or what? Of course not the correct one.

[Reno Collier]

Come on, come on.

[Nate Bargettze]

Where are you gonna. Where you got. What do you got? You got all the.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, we're going to Spartanburg, Wilmington. I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Kazis.

[Reno Collier]

Not Kazis. I only do big places when I'm with other people.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

We'Re going all over, man. If you go to reno, call your comedy.com and you want to get this book, but if you don't, the whole schedule's on there. And I'd love to see you. Come out and say hi.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah, man. This weekend, Aaron Weber here. This weekend, I'm in Chicago, Illinois, at Zany's. Chicago.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Nate Bargettze]

Five shows. It looks like they're all gonna. I think they're all gonna sell out, so just go grab. Grab tickets while you can. Come see me at Zany's then. I got a bunch of stuff coming up. Summer in the fall, one I'll plug right now. Since we mentioned it, South Bend, Indiana, for the first time since I opened for Dusty there, I will be doing standup comedy in South Bend, Indiana at the end of May. Something of a homecoming show for me. So I hope if you live in the area, South Bend, Indiana, coming out and see me at the end of May.

[Dusty Slay]

I hope Concrete comes to see you.

[Nate Bargettze]

I would like.

[Dusty Slay]

Remember that guy?

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. We had a guy fresh out of prison named Concrete.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Great.

[Nate Bargettze]

Sat in the front row of the show, and then at one point he got up and left, and Dusty goes, concrete, we need you. You're the foundation of the show.

[Dusty Slay]

One of my proudest lines.

[Nate Bargettze]

Yeah. It didn't get what it deserved.

[Reno Collier]

No, it was a good line.

[Dusty Slay]

This weekend I'm in Virginia beach at the Funny Bone because I want to be there. I enjoy the club and. And then I, you know, next weekend I'm gonna do two shows at the Opry. I'm gonna do.

[Nate Bargettze]

Are you really?

[Reno Collier]

I am. That's great. You going to visit my parents?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Anything else you want to dig me for?

[Dusty Slay]

This has been great. I've had a ton of fun.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. I love seeing you guys. Sorry, my palms are sweaty. I got a pee so bad.

[Nate Bargettze]

Let's wrap it up.

[Brian Bates]

All right. That is. It was a lot of fun, Reno. Thank you, dude.

[Reno Collier]

Thank you, Brian. It's good to see you guys. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Anything else?

[Nate Bargettze]

No. I want to hear you sign out.

[Brian Bates]

All right. We love you guys. See you next week.

[Reno Collier]

Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.

[Brian Bates]

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[Nate Bargettze]

So unbelievable. No word exists to describe it.

[Reno Collier]

It's better than mind blowing.

[Nate Bargettze]

It's mouth blowing.

[Reno Collier]

Bright, citrusy, and spicy.

[Nate Bargettze]

This newest flavor from Captain Morgan is a balanced blend of sweetness with delicious notes of lime and slightly spicy chili flavor that is great for an escape.

[Reno Collier]

Outdoors with your crew or your next hangout.

[Nate Bargettze]

Captain Morgan's Sweet Chili Lime is best.

[Reno Collier]

Enjoyed as an ice cold shot or as a chili lime twist on a classic as a spicy daiquiri.

[Nate Bargettze]

Captain Morgan's Sweet Chili Lime A touch.

[Brian Bates]

Of sweet A K. Please drink responsibly.

[Reno Collier]

Captain Morgan Sweet Chili Lime Premium Caribbean.

[Brian Bates]

Rum with natural flavors 35% alcohol by.

[Nate Bargettze]

Volume Captain Morgan Rumco New York, NY.

[Reno Collier]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

[Dusty Slay]

Spring is in full swing, so take.

[Reno Collier]

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