25: #25 | Prisons

Summary

Public Figures Podcast Episode 25: "Prisons"

Hosts: Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay
Release Date: July 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of the Public Figures podcast, hosted by comedians Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slay, centers around the theme of prisons—ranging from personal stories of brushes with the law to discussions of prison movies and hypothetical scenarios about incarceration. The hosts sprinkle in plenty of banter, relatable anecdotes, and their signature humor, making complex and sometimes dark topics both engaging and accessible.

In addition to the main theme, the trio share stories from recent gigs, muse on topics like daylight saving time, address listener comments, and offer a spirited top 10 list of country prison songs. The episode closes with a deep dive into prison pop culture, including movies and TV, and a lighthearted exchange about how each host would fare if they actually landed behind bars.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Air Conditioning, Upcoming Comedy Specials, and Life Updates

• Opening Banter: The first several minutes find the hosts in their comfort zone, riffing on the summer heat and home air conditioner struggles.
• Brian’s Comedy Special: Brian plugs his upcoming special “Worried” (drops Friday, July 24 at 4 PM CST), with jokes about targeting the early-dinner crowd and the power of YouTube shares.
• Recent Gigs:
  • Brian recently performed in Lexington, KY; praises Comedy Off Broadway and reminisces about clubs in Kentucky (08:00).
  • Aaron worked in Royal Oak, Michigan, experiencing extreme air pollution due to Canadian wildfires (09:32).
  • Dusty played Atlantic City, reflecting on smoky casino atmospheres and old comedy tour names (12:35).
• Notable Quote:
  • “It smelled like a bonfire. When we got off the plane... you started to smell it.” – Aaron on Detroit air quality (09:58)
  • “If you see me running I'd appreciate if you’d stop and pick me up, I’m probably in some kind of trouble.” – Dusty on running (16:33)

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2. Listener Comments & Cultural Catch-Up

• Comments Segment (26:45): Classic rapid-fire with listeners weighing in on their music and movie takes, show intros, and the hosts’ banter.
• Missed Movies: Discussion of movies that “everyone loves but you just don’t care for”—the West Wing, Indiana Jones, The Big Lebowski, Napoleon Dynamite.
• Subjectivity of Taste: The trio banter about what makes a movie "good," nostalgia, and how revisiting films as an adult yields different impressions.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “There's definitely something to the idea of missing the boat on an older movie.” – Dusty (32:34)
  • On Forrest Gump: “It's just a good movie.” – Aaron (33:28)
  • “What about the Christmas Story? The dad from Christmas Story is in The Natural.” – Dusty (32:16)
  • “I think it's worth watching a second time.” – Dusty on The Big Lebowski (34:12)

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3. Deep Dive: Prison Experiences and Hypotheticals

Personal Brush with the Law

• Dusty was arrested once, spent eight hours in jail, and shares that it felt more like a high school reunion than a life-changing lesson (63:13).
  • “One guy from down the hall yelled my name and then another guy in the cell with me... we knew a lot of the same people...” – Dusty (63:18)
• Brian performed stand-up at a maximum security prison, but the event nearly sparked a riot due to hype from the previous day’s magic show and overcrowding (65:28).
  • “There was a full blown riot that almost broke out because... some rival gangs and stuff were...” – Brian (66:42)
  • “Not for me!” – Brian, on prison crowds being the “best audience ever” (67:06)
• Aaron performed with John Crist at a Minnesota prison where the facility was so desirable that inmates behaved well to avoid transfer (68:44).
  • Inmates had an improv troupe that opened for the comics, roasted the performers, and acted as tour guides. Many shared what they were in for, offering a unique behind-the-walls perspective (69:53).

Life Inside: Musings & "What If" Scenarios

• What would you do on your first day in prison?
  • Aaron: "I Shawshank it, man. I start to cook the books." (76:07)
  • Dusty: Would pray, meditate, and maybe shave his head to look tough (76:29).
  • Brian: Would get a tattoo that says "breakfast" and confront the biggest guy for street cred (77:02).
• Roommate or Solitary?
  • Dusty and Aaron agree they’d rather be alone than risk a bad match, but would room together if the option arose (80:09).
• Prison Jobs: The hosts debate the merits of groundskeeping (outdoor work), kitchen staff, and the reality of cafeteria cliques.
• Communication/Tech: Would you trade phone/text contact for streaming TV? The split demonstrates the psychological toll of isolation vs. maintaining outside connection.
• Plea Bargains: They discuss the very real dilemma of plea bargains versus fighting charges (85:08). Aaron points out how people must sometimes plead guilty to avoid severely harsh sentences at trial, even if innocent.
• Rubik’s Cube vs. Fixed Sentence: Would you take 6 months in prison, or stay until you solve a Rubik's Cube? Dusty jokes 6 months is the safer bet (86:16).

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4. Pop Culture: Prison in Movies, TV, and Music

Movies and TV (101:13)

• Shawshank Redemption: Unanimous classic, linked to Stephen King's novella.
• Green Mile, O Brother, Where Art Thou, Escape from Alcatraz, Face/Off, Cool Hand Luke, Con Air, The Longest Yard – all discussed with cast shoutouts and reminiscences (104:43).
• TV Shows: Oz, Orange Is the New Black, Prison Break, and the "Prison Mike" episode of The Office get honorable mention.

Prison Slang & Facts Sharing

Brian quizzes the others on prison slang like "bullet" (1 year sentence), "nickel" (5 years), "Jody" (guy sleeping with your wife when you’re locked up), "the hole" (solitary confinement), and "Mac Economy" (mackerel is the new prison currency, replacing cigarettes) (87:00–92:40).

Noteworthy Quotes

• “I'd walk in and say, ‘it’s breakfast time.’” – Brian, on how he’d enter prison (77:02)
• “You're in a prison of your own mind, Brian.” – Aaron, jokingly (72:26)
• “The war on tobacco just continues. You're in prison and you can't even smoke!” – Dusty (92:04)

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5. Dusty Slay’s Top 10 Country Prison Songs (114:00)

A highlight of the episode, Dusty lists his favorite country (and crossover) prison songs, complete with artist and album trivia.

• Top 5:
  1. "Mama Tried" – Merle Haggard
  2. "Folsom Prison Blues" – Johnny Cash
  3. "There Ain’t No Good Chain Gang" – Johnny Cash & Waylon Jennings
  4. "San Quentin" – Johnny Cash
  5. "Witchita Jail" – Charlie Daniels Band
• Notable Honorable Mentions: “Sing Me Back Home” (Merle Haggard), “Old Red” (Blake Shelton), “High Cost of Living” (Jamey Johnson).

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6. Fun Anecdotes, Listener Interactions, and Final Thoughts

• Listener Shoutouts: Includes a police sergeant who plays Public Figures for folks en route to jail (62:07), and extended riffs on music and movie preferences, including sharing new Kentucky sodas in the studio.

  • “Many people have had to listen to your show on the way to jail.” – Sgt. Chris Littlefield (62:19)

• Prison Escapes: Recap of the real-life Alcatraz escapes, pop culture fascination with prison break stories, and Harry Potter’s Azkaban (95:46–98:05).

• Country Music's Prison Obsession: The hosts muse about why so many iconic country songs are set in jails and prisons (114:00).

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Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• On the Detroit wildfires and air quality crisis:
  • "When we got off the plane... you started to smell it. It smelled like a bonfire all weekend... they said if you spend x amount of time outside, it's like smoking 15 cigarettes." – Aaron (09:58)
• On running a mile:
  • "If you see me running I'd appreciate if you'd stop and pick me up, I'm probably in some kind of trouble." – Dusty (16:33)
• Prison comedy:
  • "There was a full-blown riot that almost broke out because... some rival gangs and stuff were." – Brian (66:42)
  • “I'd walk in and say, 'it's breakfast time.'” – Brian, on surviving day one (77:02)
• Listener in law enforcement:
  • "Many people have had to listen to your show on my—on the way to jail." – Sgt. Chris Littlefield (62:19)
• Country music and prison:
  • “Mama Tried by Merle Haggard.” – Dusty, crowning his #1 prison song (116:14)
• On the realities of plea bargains:
  • "People plead guilty because they're told, ‘you can take your chances at trial, but you’re gonna lose and you'll do 25 to life. Or you plead guilty and do five years.’" – Aaron (85:10)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Comedy Special Promotions & Life Updates: 04:19–13:30
• Smoky Detroit Story: 09:32–10:57
• Listener Mailbag: 26:45–55:00
• National Anthem Singalong (For a Critic): 59:59–61:32
• Sgt. Littlefield and Prison Transition: 62:03–63:02
• Prison Experiences & Hypotheticals: 63:04–80:51
• Prison Slang & Currency: 86:59–92:40
• Country Prison Songs List: 114:00–117:09

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Conclusion

This episode is a blend of humor, pop culture, and surprisingly thoughtful reflections on incarceration—from the practical (air conditioning, missing hotel thermostats) to the serious (prison reform, plea bargains, the psychology of isolation). Fans of comedy, movies, and Americana will find plenty to enjoy, and the group’s willingness to riff from personal experience to deep-dive trivia is as entertaining as ever.

If you’re looking for an engaging exploration of prison in American culture and comedy—delivered in the warm, wisecracking voices of three veteran comics—Episode 25 of Public Figures is well worth your time.

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Hosts’ Socials / Upcoming Shows:

• Dusty Slay: Providence, RI - Comedy Connection (Aug 6–8)
• Brian Bates: Goan, IN, and Indianapolis (July 31–Aug 2), special 'Worried' on YouTube
• Aaron Weber: Phoenix, AZ - Desert Ridge Improv (Aug 28–30)

Transcript

[Aaron Weber]

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[Brian Bates]

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[Aaron Weber]

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[Brian Bates]

Selection varies by location. See Lowes.com for more details.

[Dusty Slay]

Foreign. Okay. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Public Figures podcast. My name is Dusty Slay. I'm one of your hosts. I'm here with Brian Bates. All right. And Aaron Weber.

[Aaron Weber]

Good morning, everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

We're pumped to be here. Another great day. It's hot out.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it is hot.

[Dusty Slay]

So hot. My air conditioner works great in my car. I stepped out. I go, yes. My glasses fogged up.

[Aaron Weber]

What do you keep the house at, Dusty? I reckon you're a 71 type of guy I like.

[Dusty Slay]

You know what, during the day, I'm 73. I try to do 71 at night, but, you know, I've been having air conditioner problems. Okay, so.

[Aaron Weber]

So you're just trying to not overuse?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I have one unit, and then I have like a basement area and. And it doesn't have a. Doesn't have a thermostat for that. So it gets really cold.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And so I'm like freezing out downstairs. I'm like, I need a blanket. But upstairs feels normal.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, so.

[Aaron Weber]

But you, Brian? 81?

[Brian Bates]

No, we have it on 70, but it's been so hot lately that it can't keep up.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, really?

[Brian Bates]

We'll have it set on 70, but it'll say like 73, 74.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. So you got to crank it down a little bit. Are you just living 73?

[Brian Bates]

Well, I mean, I don't think that works, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I don't. I just put it lower.

[Dusty Slay]

But I think then you can freeze it out.

[Brian Bates]

But if it can't keep up with 70, how's it going to be like, oh, okay, you're serious now?

[Dusty Slay]

So you really got to hold the

[Aaron Weber]

button and put it on 65. And it'll try to get to 65, but it'll only get to 70.

[Brian Bates]

Think it'll try harder?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know, man.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think that's how it works.

[Aaron Weber]

These things work. I'm a 68 man myself.

[Dusty Slay]

I had a few air conditioner guys over. I finally Found some good ones. But I had one guy who was. He had no idea what to do. We asked him some questions. He stood silent for about 30 seconds to a minute. He just stood there looking up at the sky. And I had to tell my wife to stop asking him questions. I go, he doesn't know. Eventually he goes, I said that in front of him. Yeah, he was buffering. Eventually he goes, I'm new, guys. I'm new. I got you guys. I'm be straight with you. I'm new.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, we respect the honesty.

[Dusty Slay]

You do. Except for, you know, I want some maybe. Yeah, don't send the new guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's true.

[Dusty Slay]

Send somebody a lot. Let him tag along for a bit.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Let him shatter restaurant.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Who's experienced, Right?

[Brian Bates]

So you say you're 68.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'm 68.

[Brian Bates]

We have two H vacs, one on each in the house because our house is really big. And. And we. One on the other end, 68.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

You may be on to something though, because there was one. Yesterday was a 70, but it was actually 74. The other one was 68, but it was 72.

[Aaron Weber]

There you go. Yeah, it's just four degrees behind.

[Brian Bates]

You just gotta. Yeah, now I'll go down to 66.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right.

[Dusty Slay]

Put it on sex day.

[Aaron Weber]

I do that at a hotel. I go in there, I go, I set it at 55. Let's just see what happens here. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You ever like go over the thermostat hotel and it's not there? You're like, geez, what is this? Scavenger hunt.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a good joke.

[Brian Bates]

I think it. Every time I'm in a hotel room, I think that. And the plugs. Who's stripping out all these plugs?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Who's stretching out all the plugs in here? Yeah. I don't know how they get so wore out.

[Brian Bates]

What, what special is that from?

[Dusty Slay]

I think that is just. Those are on now on Son of a Ditch. No, those are now on the. What's called the Crock Pot comedy album, which is on Spotify. But I, I put it on that Netflix half hour, the stand ups.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, speaking of half hours, guys, since you brought it up.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh boy, here we go.

[Brian Bates]

This Friday, Brian Bates worried, comes out 4pm Central. Right. This Friday, July 24th. There's if you're good, time of day

[Dusty Slay]

for your target audience. 4pm Bluebirds.

[Brian Bates]

Right at dinner time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Right before bed. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

We're not going out. That's perfect. That's strategy right there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

My marketing team said 4pm Friday.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I love that.

[Aaron Weber]

We got the. We got the new poster hanging up here in the studio right behind Dusty. It looks great. Yeah, it looks awesome, man. I'm excited to see it.

[Dusty Slay]

I like to have a worried head over me as I'm. All right.

[Brian Bates]

Look at that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Just put that right in front of me. It's exciting stuff, man. Exciting.

[Brian Bates]

The day this comes out, Wednesday, the trailer for it comes out.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, so how long is the trailer? You don't want to burn up too many jokes.

[Aaron Weber]

It's about 15 minutes.

[Brian Bates]

20. It's like two minutes, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's just a bit. Or is it?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's a bit. I looked at everybody's and you know. Yeah, Aaron's was four and a half minutes. No talking about. Come on now. I can't remember now, but they range.

[Dusty Slay]

All right. Yeah. So watch it. Share it with somebody.

[Brian Bates]

Yes, please.

[Dusty Slay]

Especially if you have a YouTube account. It's really easy to just share it to all your YouTube followers. Yes, it's really easy.

[Brian Bates]

It is. Thank you, Dusty.

[Dusty Slay]

And help. And be a little less worried by sharing.

[Brian Bates]

Yes, thank you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, it does help. It does help if on YouTube, even with our own podcast. If you like it and if you share it with people.

[Brian Bates]

Thank you.

[Dusty Slay]

Just. It's very easy to do.

[Brian Bates]

It's a half hour. Just play it while you're in the bathroom.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I don't care if you watch it. I just need the.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. If you didn't take your Metamucil and you're going to be in there a while.

[Brian Bates]

Again, my target audience.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Now it. I'm really excited about it, so thank you guys for. I'm not even going to ask you guys to watch it because you watched it live, so.

[Aaron Weber]

That's true.

[Brian Bates]

You're off the hook.

[Aaron Weber]

We were there.

[Dusty Slay]

I will share it, though.

[Brian Bates]

Thank you.

[Dusty Slay]

And I'll like it.

[Brian Bates]

Thank you. Thank you to Adrian and Tristan.

[Aaron Weber]

I'll comment, too.

[Dusty Slay]

All the way. Oh, yeah, comments help. Yeah, comments help. Even if they're negative comments.

[Aaron Weber]

Just dump Dusty on Brian special.

[Dusty Slay]

I find negative comments help because you can also comment to them and then if they comment back. Now you've built a conversation. You really got it in the algorithm. The ball rolling.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I'm excited about it. I think it's great and I'm excited for everybody to see it.

[Aaron Weber]

I love it.

[Brian Bates]

And Nateland presents the showcase August 23rd, 24th, 25th, right here at the lab at Zany's. Us three are hosting a night, so get tickets for that. Another great lineup of comics. Awesome on the show. So get tickets before they're gone.

[Aaron Weber]

A lot of fun.

[Dusty Slay]

Do we know which ones we're hosting?

[Aaron Weber]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Let's see which one sells out.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm sure we're working around your schedule, though.

[Brian Bates]

Well, we're taping two in one night. Just once a night off.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Well, guys, I mean, get with. Get with it. Get with it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah. That's all I had to say.

[Dusty Slay]

Where were you at this weekend?

[Brian Bates]

I was in Lexington, Kentucky, at Comedy Off Broadway. That's such a great club.

[Dusty Slay]

It is a great club.

[Brian Bates]

I think it's the best club in Kentucky. I think I'd say that because I'm not scheduled to be anywhere Kentucky.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't even know if there's other clubs.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, there are good clubs.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, it is the best.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

The Caravan closed, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Did it? I didn't.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't. Somebody told me that this weekend, that the Caravan. Louisville. Louisville at one time had three clubs.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know what they have now.

[Dusty Slay]

I never did any of them, so I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

The Caravan was good. Louisville Comedy Club, I've done a couple of times,

[Aaron Weber]

but Comedy on Broadway's been there the longest, and it still feels like that. It's one of the few clubs left where you go in there and you go, oh, this building's got some character.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a small stage. When it's packed out, people are right up on you. Yeah, it's great.

[Brian Bates]

And that hotel right next door, it's so nice. Just be able to walk.

[Dusty Slay]

They have omelets there, that hotel.

[Aaron Weber]

Embassy Suites there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a nice one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It was a great time. Thank you for everyone who came to a show.

[Aaron Weber]

Mark Shallafu was with me.

[Brian Bates]

Mark Chalafoux, who's. He's done a Friend of Nateland.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Showcase before. He's so funny. And he was there with me. We went to see the Odyssey.

[Dusty Slay]

He is funny.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, we.

[Aaron Weber]

I was in Detroit this weekend. Royal Oak, Michigan. I'd only been to Detroit.

[Dusty Slay]

The Comedy Castle at the Comedy Castle.

[Aaron Weber]

I'd only been to Detroit one other time. Last time I was there, the Lions were in the playoffs.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah. I remember this.

[Aaron Weber]

And they had to cancel some of the shows. Detroit Comedy Club at the House of Comedy. At the time it was called In Detroit, and it was zero degrees outside. It was so cold. And I remember thinking, next time I come back to Detroit, hopefully it'll be in the summer. I'll get to Go out and see a little bit of the city. I'm flying there with Jay Flake. As soon as I get Internet back, when we land, I get an alert to my phone that says, do not go outside in the Detroit area. Detroit.

[Dusty Slay]

And you're like, I wasn't playing well.

[Aaron Weber]

I was gonna get out during the day and check some of it out. But the. The wildfires in Canada were sweeping in through Detroit. Two of the days I was there, Detroit had either number one or number two. Worst air quality in the world.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

It's usually fourth.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's what I said. It's usually top 20. But one or two.

[Dusty Slay]

What did it smell like? A lot of people say it smelled like plastic.

[Aaron Weber]

It smelled like a bonfire. When we got off the plane, even just stepping off the plane into the little walkway up to the airport, you started to smell it.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

It smelled like a bonfire all weekend. And they said some people were saying if you spend X amount of time outside, it's equivalent of smoking like 15 cigarettes.

[Dusty Slay]

And you're out there to smoke cigarettes.

[Aaron Weber]

Exactly.

[Dusty Slay]

So you're getting two for each drag.

[Aaron Weber]

I didn't see the sky until Sunday morning when we left, basically. Wow. Because it was just. There's such a haze over the city. It was pretty wild. I was watching the. The Mets. Phillies were playing on tv and they had to move up the game an hour in Philadelphia because the AQI, the Air Quality Index, was like 151, which this said was right on the cusp of dangerous. 151. Zero is perfect. But. But they were at 151.

[Dusty Slay]

How?

[Aaron Weber]

I looked it up in Royal Oak. Four hundred and eighty.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

So it was. It was bad. So we stayed inside most of the weekend. We went and saw the Odyssey too.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's cool to watch a movie. That's part of. Fair to call it a cultural event. Felt like everybody's talking about it. We went and saw it during the day. The shows were awesome. Shout out to Finn St. John, who hosted, and Jay Flake was with me. And then we had a very funny guy, Gary Simons, come by and run his JFL set. He just got named a new face at Just for Laugh, so he was able to do all right.

[Dusty Slay]

Has that been announced?

[Aaron Weber]

It just got announced, I think, this morning.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Our friend Fiona Collie is a JFL new face.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Who was our first guest here on Public Figures. Yeah, she'll be.

[Dusty Slay]

We were way ahead of the curve.

[Aaron Weber]

I know we beat them. So she'll be in Montreal.

[Dusty Slay]

Probably be in on the show got her that.

[Aaron Weber]

I think it was the bump that took her over the edge.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, for sure. I think so.

[Aaron Weber]

So just a fun weekend. Thank you to everybody. Came out in the Detroit area. We were in Royal Oak, but I. I called it Detroit all weekend, but that's where I was.

[Dusty Slay]

I was in Atlantic City, New Jersey, which, you know, New Jersey was really on the bottom of that whole smoke scenario, so it seemed a little dreary there, too. Out my. I had a nice. I was on the 32nd floor. Had a nice view of the ocean.

[Aaron Weber]

What was the aqi do you know?

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I never heard of that until you brought it up just now.

[Brian Bates]

Everywhere Dusty goes, It's 600. Because he's always got a cigar in his mouth.

[Dusty Slay]

Y.

[Aaron Weber]

At a 39 right now.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes. I didn't even think to look. But also, you're allowed to smoke in casinos. But I went outside to the smoking area, which is a pretty dreary little area that no one ever cleans, and we had a good time.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Who was with you?

[Dusty Slay]

My. My buddy Derek Humphrey.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Oh, that reminds me. My friend Vince Faber reached out to me about your comment when you said Vince said he was finally happy to do more than seven minutes on stage. And we all laughed. And Vince goes, what was that about? And I go, oh, he's making fun of me.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Saying I do too much time on stage. I think Vince thought that you were saying that he can't do a lot of time.

[Brian Bates]

Well, now that you say it, I guess I had a double meaning. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I could hear it that way.

[Dusty Slay]

But, yeah, Vince has a. Has a special on YouTube. He. He can do. You know, Vince can do a full on hour, so I just want to put that out there for all the Vince haters that might be out there in the world sending him that clip. But Derek was with me. Derek's very funny. And who also has a YouTube special. They all late bloomer is what it's called. Very funny. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Vince killed on my show.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Vince is great.

[Brian Bates]

His mom gave me a tag.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So is it good?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I used it this weekend.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. All right.

[Brian Bates]

It's my new clothes.

[Aaron Weber]

Get it before the special.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. What's a new joke?

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, the. But you know, Vince and Derek and me and another friend, Evan Burke, we used to. To all travel around and do comedy together.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you have a name?

[Dusty Slay]

Various names. One time, instead of Derek, it was my wife, who's Canadian, and we were. We were pancakes and Canadian bacon.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You know who else was on that tour?

[Dusty Slay]

Me. Oh, yeah. Me and you. Me. Me and Brad Sativa and my wife and Brad Sativa. Yeah, yeah, I remember that. We did that one.

[Aaron Weber]

But this was even before that when you were back in Charleston, right, with.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Those guys.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we were the United Comedians of America one time. We were the Low Country Comedy Tour.

[Aaron Weber]

Nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You know, we were the. We had another one. I forgot the other one. You know, you're always trying to come up with.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Did you have. Besides that one, did you have any other tours or troops or whatever?

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, not really. I mean, I had, like, local shows that you're just trying to come up with. We. We ran a show at Radio Cafe in East Nashville called Good Friends.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I remember that.

[Aaron Weber]

And we were the Good friends.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, that was a good.

[Aaron Weber]

That was a good show. Good show, good friends, good times.

[Brian Bates]

There's a group photo of all of us on stage, and it's. A lot of.

[Aaron Weber]

That first lineup was crazy. It was all of us and, you know, some others.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Some other really funny comics.

[Dusty Slay]

It was good. I'd never been to Atlantic City.

[Aaron Weber]

The AQI was 166 when you were there.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So it was technically unhealthy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, somebody. I guess somebody was trying to tell me that Atlantic City could be dangerous. And they were like, I wouldn't go off the boardwalk or maybe just to the beach and not go. Well, obviously you don't know how I travel. I don't. If I cannot leave my hotel room, I will.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You're not exactly Anthony Bourdain.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm. You know, I don't. I'm not out here traveling around.

[Brian Bates]

I want to ask you guys. So this weekend, I don't know if you saw this. A new world record was set for the fastest mile I got to see. That guy ran it in 3 minutes and 42 seconds.

[Aaron Weber]

Whoa.

[Brian Bates]

And I was just wondering how fast you guys think you could run a mile.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, under 10 would be nice.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I know it'd be nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Sure.

[Aaron Weber]

I'll say. That's pretty high. I just haven't run a mile in forever. But I think under 10 minutes, when

[Dusty Slay]

I was in high school that we. Our track was four laps around was a mile.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I think if I. I were able to go around the track one time, that would be really good for me. If I could run even jock for the. For one lap, that would be good.

[Aaron Weber]

So you take that time and multiply it by four.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I wouldn't do the other three.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Let's just get a sample.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I.

[Aaron Weber]

What was the previous record? But did.

[Brian Bates]

It's funny because the article says it shattered the record by almost a half second. Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. My joke was if you see me running I'd appreciate if you'd stop and pick me up. I'm probably in some kind of trouble.

[Brian Bates]

I was thinking about myself too. At 10 minute. Under 10 minute would probably be my goal.

[Aaron Weber]

Just off the couch. Running a mile. Yeah. I try to get it.

[Brian Bates]

I did a. I had to look it up this morning. I did one 5K. 13 years ago I did a 5K.

[Aaron Weber]

A Turkey Trot. What was it?

[Brian Bates]

It was the Titans. The titans do a 5k where you run through downtown. You end up on the 50 yard line.

[Aaron Weber]

That's cool.

[Brian Bates]

Stadium. And I did it 32 minutes. So that's about a 10 minute mile for three miles.

[Aaron Weber]

That's great. And you're not like a marathon runner.

[Brian Bates]

No, but I was in a lot better shape then than I am now.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you train for it or anything? Okay.

[Brian Bates]

A little bit.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So now. I mean back then if I just had one mile to do, I could probably do it.

[Aaron Weber]

Seven minute mile maybe. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Probably Now I'd be doing good to

[Dusty Slay]

do 10. Who was the guy that broke the record? What's his name?

[Brian Bates]

He's from Britain. Can't remember his name.

[Dusty Slay]

Let's give him a shout out.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. British runner Josh Kerr broke the men's 1 mile world record on July 18th at the London Athletics meet. He's 28 years old. 3 minutes 42 seconds. Point 66. Shattering the record of 3 minutes 43 seconds. Point 13.

[Dusty Slay]

That's not real.

[Aaron Weber]

But that had been the record for 27 years.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that shattering though?

[Brian Bates]

It's funny.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But I think there. There is probably.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

What do you think the limit is?

[Brian Bates]

I was like we're.

[Aaron Weber]

We're almost pretty close to it. Probably.

[Brian Bates]

So Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes. This historic Chariots of Fire. Right.

[Brian Bates]

Is that what that's about?

[Aaron Weber]

I think I thought so. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But it was like a mental breakthrough because right after he did it then everybody, or not everybody, but a lot of people started.

[Aaron Weber]

As soon as one person did it, a bunch of people started.

[Brian Bates]

People kept saying nobody's ever going to do four minutes.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And now we're way past that.

[Aaron Weber]

But do you think eventually someone will run a three minute mile?

[Dusty Slay]

Wait till the robots start running.

[Aaron Weber]

We're talking human achievements here.

[Brian Bates]

I think a robot's already won a marathon somewhere in China or something. I don't know. I'd like to. Could you Google how fast we'll. Eventually we got to be close to. I mean it's once every 27 years. We're a half a second faster.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So the theoretical human limit for a mile is estimated to be between 3 minutes and 30 seconds and 3 minutes and 40 seconds. So we're like right in there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. But that might take. Based on half a second, that might take another 50 years.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, man. Yeah. With the speed that we're breaking this

[Dusty Slay]

and the way we're eating cheeseburgers, I don't think. I don't think it's good.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think a lot of people are going to be doing it, but

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think the people trying this are eating cheeseburger.

[Brian Bates]

I think about sports now from when I was a kid, Phil goals in the NFL. A 60 yard field goal now is equivalent to like a 50 yard field.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Brian Bates]

And somebody. I mean, there's already. Guys have pushed 70. What's the record?

[Aaron Weber]

68, I think it was. I think it's in the 70s like last year.

[Dusty Slay]

I bet Aaron could throw 68 yards. 80 yards. Golf ball. I bet you could throw it.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, man.

[Dusty Slay]

80 yards.

[Brian Bates]

And then what I was gonna say. And in baseball there's. It's like five miles an hour faster than when I was a kid. Like Nolan ryan could hit 100. And now there's guys that can hit 105. Right.

[Aaron Weber]

There's a guy, Jacob Mizorowski on the brewers who's throwing 106, who's hit 106. And he says he thinks he can get to 108.

[Dusty Slay]

You guys ever seen the Natural with Robert Redford? I just watched it. So good. Yeah, I think it's better than Moneyball.

[Aaron Weber]

That's fair.

[Brian Bates]

And then the other thing I was going to ask you guys, just speaking

[Dusty Slay]

of baseball, Congress, I think you guys are into that, but.

[Brian Bates]

Well, we'll get into it in the comments.

[Aaron Weber]

Is it.

[Brian Bates]

Is it good? As for the love of the game?

[Dusty Slay]

I think so. It's one of it maybe is my favorite now.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, so it's an update.

[Dusty Slay]

It's very good.

[Brian Bates]

Since last week.

[Dusty Slay]

I'd never watched it.

[Aaron Weber]

If you've traveled much, you probably had that moment where your suitcase is out of your sight and you're just hoping everything's still in there. It happens at the hotel when you check in, even when you're checking your bag with airline staff. Before I Found Noble. I never really thought about how easy it is to get into most luggage. You could break into a stranger's suitcase so easy anytime. Apparently all it takes is a ballpoint pen to pop open a regular zipper and someone can zip it right back up without you ever knowing. Think about everything in there. Your laptop, your passport, your medications, a lava lamp, whatever you're carrying with you. That's why I love the Noble suitcase. I got it right here. It's a. I mean it's a big thing to show for the camera, but it's lightweight and it's good. Feels good. Completely zipperless.

[Dusty Slay]

Good wheels too.

[Aaron Weber]

Doesn't have zippers. It has these secure latches on here that close, almost like a safe. And when it locks, you actually hear and feel that solid click. So you're like, oh yeah, good to go. Security is not the only reason I love it. It's got a built in charging port, a front laptop compartment that makes TSA much easier. And my favorite feature is a, a flip out cup holder. Oh yeah, pop it right out, put a cup right in there. And the 360 degree wheels are incredibly smooth. You can just push it on that airport floor. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Good wheels.

[Aaron Weber]

It's real nice, man. Noble gives you real travel peace of mind, security, design and convenience all in one. Head to Noble Travel for up to 46 entire order. That's n o b l travel.com for up to 46% off. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them

[Brian Bates]

we sent you Congress this or last week passed daylight savings, like permanent daylight savings. A bill or whatever to make daylight savings permanent. I'm not saying it very well.

[Aaron Weber]

Has it been signed into law?

[Brian Bates]

So now the Senate has to pass it?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. So the House passed it.

[Brian Bates]

The House passed it and now the Senate has to pass.

[Dusty Slay]

I've already seen people complaining about it.

[Brian Bates]

I know it sounds like it's not going to make.

[Aaron Weber]

I forgot. Are you in favor of that?

[Dusty Slay]

I want it to be daylight longer, but I also don't have to get up and go to work in the morning.

[Brian Bates]

But it's not, it's not like we're talking to God to make daylight longer. It's just shifting.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So it's not longer, it's just. There'll be less daylight in the morning.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And it'd be more in the, in the daytime. In the afternoon.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That's the whole argument. It's not.

[Aaron Weber]

You want it to be daytime longer in the, like later.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I don't want it to get dark at 5 o'. Clock.

[Brian Bates]

So my question to you guys is the same. Say it's exactly 12 hours of daylight, 12 hours of darkness, which is not based on the time of year, but if it was and you could set the time, what would sunrise and sunset be?

[Aaron Weber]

6:30 to 6:30.

[Brian Bates]

What about you?

[Dusty Slay]

8 to 8?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, 8 to 8. That's a late dude waking up at 7 and it's pitch dark out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but you're just going to want

[Aaron Weber]

a little bit of a sunrise.

[Dusty Slay]

You just go into work though. It's like, I feel like it's almost better to go to work when it's dark out. You feel like you got started early.

[Aaron Weber]

But I think, I think playing devil's advocate here, eight to eight, I think, wow, the amount of traffic casualties that are going to come. People commuting in the darkness every day.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I was going to say

[Aaron Weber]

this is just a very funny solution. Come on, step it up.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I was going to say seven to seven, but I started think about. I think I'd do 630. 6:30. Also, my, here's my reasoning. Some of it's just selfish reasoning. For standup comedy. It's better if it's dark shows. More people come out to show.

[Dusty Slay]

You just got to do theaters and you can't, you can't tell what time of day it is.

[Brian Bates]

Well, it's just people are outside doing stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So 6:30 is a good time. And then for my daughter's bedtime, it's hard when it's still daylight outside to get everything wrapped up. 6:30 is not 4. It's, it's a good time. And then it's not so late in the morning. The argument is kids walking to school or waiting for the school bus is dangerous. And then, and then health experts say that your circadian rhythm gets off if it's daylight savings time.

[Dusty Slay]

Nine to nine, that's what I say.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

Noon to midnight, might as well.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I do think. I don't like it when it gets dark at 4:30. I don't really love it when it gets dark at 8:30 either.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, I love it.

[Dusty Slay]

One time I was in, I think North Dakota and I came out of the theater at 9:30. It was still daylight. Yeah, I loved it.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, Alaska on our, our honeymoon, we never saw night time there.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

We go outside at 4 in the morning and it was like it was noon. Yeah, it's pretty wild. Yeah. Messes with your brain.

[Dusty Slay]

I love the sun. Big fan But I think you're supposed

[Aaron Weber]

to see darkness every now and then.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, you should see it. Yeah, for sure. But right as you're going to sleep. Yeah, I'm going down with the sun. That's what I like.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but you don't like it when it's this hot. You just complain about that.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I like it, but it is hot. I'm just saying it is hot.

[Aaron Weber]

You like a wet.

[Dusty Slay]

I like a wet heat. Used to make the argument special on Netflix, too.

[Brian Bates]

Does he used to make the argument? I don't know if he still does that. Maybe the heat's not even coming from the sun.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, yeah. I mean, you ever been to Florida? I've been to Florida and it's like, you know, 90 degrees, the sun goes down. Still 90 degrees. I'm like, where's this coming from?

[Aaron Weber]

Where? Where is it coming?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

But not the sun.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

Have you looked into it?

[Dusty Slay]

I think when the sun hits you and you're in the light, you're like, oh, this is really hot. But when it goes down and it's still around.

[Aaron Weber]

Heat at night. Heat comes from environmental heat radiated by the earth and your surroundings. Structural heat retained by home in your own body heat.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

So it's radiation.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

From the sun.

[Dusty Slay]

So, yeah, probably from our cell phones, 5G towers, heating it up out here.

[Brian Bates]

You want to get these comments?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Dusty Slay]

Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews, and [e-mail]. first comment comes from a guy named Troy Eaton.

[Aaron Weber]

Troy Eaton.

[Dusty Slay]

Eating.

[Aaron Weber]

Eating. Lunch eating.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You hope he's not big.

[Aaron Weber]

What's Troy up to? Troy Eaton.

[Dusty Slay]

You mean Mr. Eaton? He's at the buffet.

[Aaron Weber]

If your last name's Eaton, that is motivation to get your health together.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, the public figures podcast song is stuck in my head. I like the shortened version, which makes it technically a dusty written song since all Brian and Aaron contributed was being in the room while Dusty created.

[Aaron Weber]

That's fine.

[Brian Bates]

The full version was dusty. Yeah, Dusty.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't require any attribution for that. That's all you.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a good song. And yeah, I mean, I'm a lyrical genius is what I've been referred to as. Thank you, Troy. Thank you. And you know what? Maybe I'll write a song about Troy Eaton. Troy, Eaton, Eaton. I may write one about you, Troy. And we'll play it next time. Okay. The next one comes from a guy who turned down College Z Boogie. Isn't that his Name Boogie something.

[Brian Bates]

What are you talking about?

[Dusty Slay]

I turned it down.

[Aaron Weber]

I thought you're just. Oh, his name's Big Boogie.

[Dusty Slay]

Big Boogie. Yeah, yeah, I turned it down. Maybe Z Boogie went to Guy. He really did go. This has to be the first podcast in history to bring up Johnny Tsunami and the Boy and the Striped Pajamas consecutively play. I don't even remember that. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. We can always count on Aaron to bring the culture to this podcast.

[Aaron Weber]

If you're looking for a good two movies to watch back to back, that's what I recommend. Johnny Tsunami and then the Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Just.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

I've never heard of these at all.

[Aaron Weber]

You've never heard of the Boy in the Striped Pajamas? No, it's a concentration camp movie.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

It's about a boy in the concentration camp uniform and then another kid.

[Brian Bates]

Like a chess camp.

[Aaron Weber]

A kid who's the son of a Nazi officer comes up to the gate and he thinks, oh, these guys are wearing pajamas, but they're in their concentration camp uniform and they befriend each other through the gate. Oh, but then ultimately I'll spoil it for you.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think Rescued by Johnson Army.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no one gets rescued. The kid who's the son of a Nazi officer sneaks into the concentration camp and inadvertently gets gassed and killed.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

So just to ruin the ending for you, it's a brutal watch. I watched that movie in juvie in South Bend, Indiana.

[Brian Bates]

What?

[Aaron Weber]

I took a class where we spent a week at juvie and they watched Boy in the Striped Pajamas.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what the kids that went to juvie that I grew up with called it, too. A class. Took a class.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, took a class.

[Aaron Weber]

It was a big jail, though. I had to go to prison for this decade.

[Dusty Slay]

Brian Lawson. Dusty is right about 50 of the time, but is absolutely right about Uncle Buck. Oh, yeah. Easily in the top 10 movies of all time on my list. An easy watch. That always makes me laugh. Brian is right about 99 of the time. Oh, gosh, Brian, you're losing credibility fast. Brian Lawson. Brian is right about 99 of the time, but not liking Uncle Buck is like finding out someone doesn't like Christmas or thinks Christmas vacation is just an okay movie. Way to step up, Dusty. Your stock is rising, Brian. You're better than that.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, Brian Lawson, we got bad news for you, buddy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Dusty hates Christmas.

[Dusty Slay]

But you know what? I do think Christmas vacation is a great movie.

[Brian Bates]

I think Christmas vacation is a great movie too.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't like Christmas.

[Brian Bates]

We've had this discussion and I don't think we quite agree. I think the first one and the third one are good.

[Aaron Weber]

What's the second one?

[Brian Bates]

Second one's European Vacation. Fourth one is Vegas Vacation. I don't think those are good.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, Vegas Vacation's great.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, you've said that before, but you're dumb, so.

[Dusty Slay]

I love that movie.

[Aaron Weber]

It's only right 50% of the time.

[Dusty Slay]

That's so good.

[Aaron Weber]

I love the idea that Brian Lawson has a tally up somewhere keeping track of every time. Dusty's right.

[Dusty Slay]

European Vacation, I think is ruined by Audrey in that movie. The daughter. Yeah, she's the. It was the worst Audrey casting of all of them. I mean, I. I don't know. You got. You don't know, do you?

[Aaron Weber]

I'm not conversing.

[Dusty Slay]

You're not seeing him?

[Aaron Weber]

No.

[Brian Bates]

Have you seen any of them?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, but I don't. I don't know. Not enough to talk about.

[Dusty Slay]

Christmas Vacation is so good.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's great. I saw that. I think it came out my senior year.

[Dusty Slay]

And the second best one is Vegas Vacation.

[Brian Bates]

The second best one. Better than the original.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that the best Christmas movie movie, though? Vacation?

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, it is. I also think that.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, man, I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

I would say the first Vacation's the best. And Christmas Vacation second.

[Dusty Slay]

And then Christmas movies, you know, Then you got Home Alone Elf. Okay, those are top three for me,

[Brian Bates]

I think, because of the narwhals.

[Aaron Weber]

Now, what's the. I'm blanking on it. It's like one of the best.

[Brian Bates]

It's a Wonderful Life.

[Aaron Weber]

Wonderful Life. It's like one of the best movies ever.

[Dusty Slay]

Never say.

[Aaron Weber]

It's like a top 10 all time, even. Not just Christmas. Such a good movie.

[Dusty Slay]

The. What about the Christmas Story? The dad from the Christmas Story.

[Aaron Weber]

Sure, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Is in the Natural.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Brandon Melcher. You think it's Melcher or Melker?

[Aaron Weber]

I think it's. I think it's Melcher.

[Dusty Slay]

Melcher. Brandon Melker. I like that.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

There's definitely something to the idea of missing the boat on an older movie. I was born in 89 and never saw any of the Indiana Jones movies and tried to watch the first one in my 30s. Couldn't even finish it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I get that.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not really into the Indiana Jones movies, to be honest.

[Brian Bates]

Raiders Lost Ark was my favorite movie as a kid. Yeah, I couldn't get into other ones that much, but I loved Raiders of the Lost Ark. That was so good.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that the second one?

[Brian Bates]

No, it's the first one.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I put on. I posted asking people, what's a movie that everyone seems to love that. That you just don't care for? Can I read some of the.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'd love to hear some of these.

[Brian Bates]

Breakfast Club.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, interesting.

[Dusty Slay]

Incredible movie.

[Brian Bates]

A Christmas Story.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a good one.

[Brian Bates]

Star Wars, Titanic, Elf. Forrest Gump.

[Aaron Weber]

Not liking Forrest. I get that's like in Elf and

[Dusty Slay]

Forrest Gump are both.

[Aaron Weber]

That's like an artsy take to have that Forrest Gump is not good, that it's like, overly sentimental and all that stuff, but it's just a good movie.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Manipulate your emotions, Godfather.

[Dusty Slay]

I think people. With the manipulation of the emotions. I think people think that, you know, I don't enjoy it. I mean, I. You know, it's like, of course we like movies and we like feeling it, but I'm just saying that is what's happening, and we shouldn't be crying all the time out here. Anyway, keep going.

[Brian Bates]

The Big Lebowski.

[Dusty Slay]

Big Lebowski. If you don't like it, this is what I recommend. Watch it again. The first time I watched the Big Lebowski, the first time I watched it, I didn't really like it either. But the second time I watched it, I loved it. And I watched it again because I couldn't understand why I didn't like it, but everyone else did. So I was like, let's give it another watch. And I loved it. I think it's worth watching a second time.

[Brian Bates]

That's fair. Napoleon Dynamite.

[Dusty Slay]

Napoleon Dynamite is one of the funniest.

[Brian Bates]

I love Napoleon Dynamite. I can see, though, that's it's a unique type of.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a type of humor that doesn't like my. Like, my dad would hate watching that. I totally get it.

[Dusty Slay]

I think that one's also Second time around is better kind of watch because once you already know what's going to happen, then you can focus more on the intricate details, the character development, the. It's very good.

[Brian Bates]

Can I share a couple of more? Missing the boat?

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Examples for me, this past week, I started watching for the first time ever, the West Wing.

[Aaron Weber]

What I'm talking about.

[Brian Bates]

My wife saw it when it came

[Aaron Weber]

out originally while she was working in the West Wing.

[Brian Bates]

While she was working at the West.

[Dusty Slay]

I purposely didn't buy a ticket to that boat. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Anyway,

[Aaron Weber]

I stayed on shore, obviously.

[Brian Bates]

It's a great show. We've watched two episodes now. Okay. And I'm liking it. And some of it's Just. You're getting used to the character, so it takes some time. But it started in 1999. It's not in HD. It's. They talk so fast that I thought, oh, let me put the captioning on. The captioning is from the 90s, so, like, it's over here, and then over here, like, now. They make captioning so much better.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

The first episode. Pager is a big part of the.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So I'm enjoying it. But there are things that I'm like. I know I would have liked this better.

[Aaron Weber]

There are some things that are extremely dated about it. The pilot. There's supposed to be a big moment in the pilot as he gets a page and it says potus. And the girl he's with is like, what is potus? And he goes, president of the United States. And then it cuts to the titles.

[Brian Bates]

Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

So everyone knows what POTUS means now. But I guess at the time that was.

[Brian Bates]

I said that exact same thing for Ruth.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff that has aged weirdly. Like, everything does, for sure. Also, the things that constitute, like, a political scandal are hilarious. Like the. In the pilot, Josh's character snaps on like a talk show, and it's this huge scandal, and you go, that wouldn't even. No one would even tweet about that now. Yeah. It's crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Snapping on a talk show is what you want to do.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That would be encouraged. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And the other. The other one. The World cup just ended. I tried to get into it. I did not grow up with soccer.

[Aaron Weber]

Me either.

[Brian Bates]

I have so many friends who I respect who think soccer is the greatest sport. It's the most popular sport in the world. World.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So I know I'm the outlier.

[Dusty Slay]

Does that make you lose a little respect for them, though?

[Brian Bates]

It probably makes them lose respect for me. I just. Because I didn't grow up with it. I cannot quite.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not because you didn't grow up with it. It's because it's not good.

[Brian Bates]

I'm trying, and I am starting to maybe appreciate it more.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But I'm not there yet.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm not there yet either. I've genuinely tried.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And then as soon as the US Was out this year, I was like, all right, it's still going. I watched a little bit of the final yesterday, but, you know, But I

[Brian Bates]

got a lot of. A lot of hate comments about Uncle Buck, which I knew I would. People.

[Dusty Slay]

I encouraged it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Dusty last week, he's Like, I like Moneyball because Jonah Hill's character, he always stands up for his buddy, even though. And then the comments this week were trashing us and he. Like, that's what I'm talking about.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

All right. This guy gets it.

[Dusty Slay]

Listen, I admire that about the Jonah Hill character. Character. I mean, I'm not saying. I am that.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

When you're wrong, you're wrong. You know what I mean? Do you watch Greece?

[Brian Bates]

No, he's never gonna watch it.

[Dusty Slay]

Come on.

[Aaron Weber]

I watched the Odyssey. I watched the. I'll watch Greece this week.

[Dusty Slay]

You know what? You guys watch the Odyssey recently, I watch Ulysses, which is the 1954 version.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

And I really liked it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Then you might like the Odyssey.

[Dusty Slay]

I probably will watch it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Worshiping gods.

[Dusty Slay]

No, well, I'm not saying I enjoyed that aspect.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, it's pre Christianity, so. I mean, way pre

[Brian Bates]

7th century.

[Aaron Weber]

It's hard to fault them for that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But anyway, I don't fault them. I mean. I mean, I. No, no, I mean, I do fault them. I. I am sorry I spoke. I misspoke.

[Aaron Weber]

I fault them all 800 years before Jesus. They're supposed to be Christians.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes. Well, they were supposed to be following God. God. Well, they were their own worst.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Fallen angels. Okay. Ryan Brister. Doesn't Dusty make a living off using storytelling to manipulate the emotion of laughter out of all of us?

[Aaron Weber]

This is the point we were making.

[Dusty Slay]

Do you think that I'm manipulating people by telling them a funny joke?

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

You think that's manipulate. I think for me to say something and you to find it funny is manipulating you.

[Aaron Weber]

Definitionally, you are choosing words, specific words, to elicit a reaction from the audience. You're moving facts around, moving words around. You're subverting expectations. You're doing all those things, and you do it masterfully.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, yeah, but I don't think. But I also. And I. And I stand by this, too, though. Laughter is positive. It's good. It. It. It's overall a benefit. What I'm saying is these movies making you sad, making you scared. Make, like, what I liked about the Natural. I watched this movie, right? And it's like, there was some of that in here, but there was a scene when the. At the beginning of the movie when the kid, Robert Redford's kid, his dad dies, and it's a. It's a quick scene. It's sad, but they don't milk it. I feel like if that movie were made today, it would be followed up by a funeral scene where all these People would talk about his dad and they would try to milk it for as long as they could to pull tears out of you, when really we're like, hey, this is just a part of this guy's story.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, so what are the. So let me ask you. Do you think a roller coaster is bad because it invokes fear and. Which is not a positive emotion?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, roller coasters are bad for many reasons, but I think it's excitement. I don't think it's manipulating you because you're, you know, you're on the ride. You know what the ride's going to do.

[Aaron Weber]

I know what I'm doing. When I watch a movie, I know that there's going to be storytelling. Right. And they're going to.

[Brian Bates]

Most people go to horror movies, know what they're going into or they want that.

[Dusty Slay]

But it's also like, it creates new fears for you. Yeah, you, you, you don't know. You have this fear. And now you're like afraid to leave your blinds open at night because the movie you watched had some kind of monster on the outside staring at you and it manipulated you in a bad way. Yeah, but listen, I love movies. I watch a lot of movies. I'm not anti movie.

[Brian Bates]

We should just stop for a while.

[Dusty Slay]

We should stop making new ones.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

There's plenty of old ones to watch. I mean, Aaron hasn't even watched Greece yet, and you just started West Wing. How many seasons?

[Aaron Weber]

There's four good ones and then. But there's seven total.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So, I mean, that's. You think you need a new show?

[Brian Bates]

Dear Hollywood, Aaron hasn't seen Greece and broadest in West Wing. Stop it for a while.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, let them catch up. Wait till we've seen them all and then go. We need a new movie.

[Aaron Weber]

You should go see the Odyssey, though. I really think you would like it and I think once you do, we can talk about it. But I really think you'd like Nolan's take on it.

[Dusty Slay]

I love fantasy stuff like his, the

[Aaron Weber]

angle he took on it. I, I think it's a unique. I'd never seen that before and I really think you'd resonate with it.

[Dusty Slay]

I also like Jason and the Argonauts. That's another one of those kind of movies I just watched. I used to watch all the Sinbad movies. Not the Comedian when I was a kid. The Voyage of Sinbad.

[Aaron Weber]

You used to watch the comedians movies too, though, right?

[Dusty Slay]

I did, yeah. Yeah, I did used to watch those too.

[Brian Bates]

I want to mention two Sinbad's great. Two movies that aired. I mean, that Dusty and I totally agree. You. I agree on a lot. I mean, Shawshank's our favorite movie.

[Aaron Weber]

Apollo 13 1.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Dead point Society wants a classic, one a little bit more obscure. That we both love. Rocky.

[Dusty Slay]

Rocky's great.

[Brian Bates]

And we love it for the same reasons. I think we've talked about this movie. It's. It's.

[Aaron Weber]

I've heard of it.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, fair enough. The other one that you mentioned was before, that you said you love. That's one of my favorite comedies too. Is About a Boy.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, man, so good.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

About a Boy is the.

[Aaron Weber]

What's it about?

[Dusty Slay]

It's Hugh Grant. It's Hugh Grant. And it's so good. This guy, this other. The kid is like a famous actor now, too.

[Brian Bates]

Well, he's beast in the X Men movies.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And Toni Collette's in it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Tony Collette's in it. She's great. Yeah. Nicholas Holt. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Dusty Slay]

He's Lex Luthor and.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

All right, so I'll check this out.

[Dusty Slay]

He's Great. About A Boy is so good. There's only two Hugh Grant movies I like. That's About a Boy and music and lyrics with Drew Barrymore. You ever seen that one?

[Brian Bates]

I don't think I have.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a great one.

[Brian Bates]

Did you see Four Weddings in a Funeral?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Brian Bates]

I like that one.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Okay. One thing I love about summer is getting out of town. Let's be honest. When you're traveling, your routine goes completely out the window. You're sleeping in a different bed, eating out more than usual, staying up later. And every day looks a little different. The one habit I've actually managed to keep, no matter where I am, is AG1. Every morning, it's one scoop, eight ounces of water, and I'm good to go. I love that AG1 helps support my energy, gut health, my immune health, and especially when my schedule is all over the place. It's a daily health drink packed with multivitamin, pre and probiotic superfoods and antioxidants. So I know I'm getting a high quality nutritional support even when my meals aren't exactly perfect on vacation. Their next gen Formula has over 75 ingredients and is clinically shown to support gut health, fill common nutrient gaps, and improve key nutrient levels within three months. Whether I'm at home or living out of a suitcase for a few days, AG1 is one healthy habit I don't have to think twice about. It's simple, it travels easy, and it helps Me stay consistent even when everything else changes. I love taking my ag1 every day and I recommend it to my family and friends. It supports my immune system and my immune defense. So how could I not want the people around me getting the same benefits? Visit drink ag1.comnateland to get a free AG1 travel case with seven free AG1 travel packs in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order while supplies last. That's drinkag1.comnateland all right, Julia Mooney. I love hearing St. Augustine. Is that what you said? Okay, now I like Augustine because St. Augustine is a Florida. A place in Florida. I like that. I love hearing about St. Augustine on the pod. I sent Dusty that quotation. All right, thanks, Julia. Aaron, I look forward to your spin off podcast reading the Summa with Dusting.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that would be a good one. We'll crawl through the Summa Theologica. Yeah, here's my question that won't happen about.

[Dusty Slay]

I hope that's the laugh that you deserve.

[Aaron Weber]

Brian finally gets what he's earned here. Can I ask you a question? So you quote St. Augustine to back up your point. Did you quote that because you just think he worded very well what you were trying to say, or do you think his saying that gives your view credibility?

[Dusty Slay]

Well.

[Aaron Weber]

Or do you just think that was a really beautifully worded.

[Dusty Slay]

I think. I don't. Yeah. I don't know who he is, so I think it was worded really well and also said stuff that I wasn't necessarily even thinking about. But I agree with the part where he says we're watching people go through things that we ourselves wouldn't wish to go through.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

And then we, we're. We're having the emotion as if we went through it. But yet when the movie's over, we get to go back to our regular lives after watching a bunch of people's family members die or something, we cry about it and then we go, all right, off to my regular life.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right.

[Brian Bates]

Folly.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You like that word?

[Dusty Slay]

I do, yeah. Rebecca Danforth. Totally agree with Dusty on his Moneyball take. I watched it with my husband for the first time this year and we couldn't concentrate on the plot because Brad Pitt is too hot.

[Brian Bates]

Well, Rebecca, you may have some other issues.

[Dusty Slay]

Your husband too, maybe, but yeah, I mean, I, I don't. I wasn't having trouble. I appreciate you, Rebecca. I wasn't having trouble concentrating on the plot because he's too.

[Brian Bates]

Her husband was.

[Dusty Slay]

But I just find it, you know, a lit like Like Robert Redford, very attractive man.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But in the movie the Natural, he's a, you know, he's an athlete. And, and, and he's like, his struggles are. Are much different that he's gone through. Then Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt was just, you know, got drafted. Because I was thinking about it later, and I'm like, like, well, you got drafted, you pay. Played for four or five years, probably made a bunch of money. I wonder if you couldn't call up that college and, you know, get your scholarship.

[Aaron Weber]

You couldn't do that at the time.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I don't know. I mean, I wonder, though, or. Or maybe even just afford to send yourself there. Or maybe you don't even have to go to that big of a college. Maybe you go to a big college in Jacksonville or something, you know, for a decade. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

A lot of people loved your Dennis Quaid casting. Yeah, it says, spot on.

[Aaron Weber]

He's in a baseball movie called the Rookie, which is great, but I think his being attractive actually serves the character, because the point of it is, here's a guy who checked all the conventional boxes that scouts look for. They talk about it in the movie. They go, he's got a good jawline. He's got an attractive girlfriend. He checked all those boxes and didn't pan out. So then his drive, his ambition is to shatter that system which he thinks is broken. So it actually serves the character a little bit, I think.

[Dusty Slay]

I like that.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, and I don't know if you're supposed to feel sorry for him. I get what you're saying. There are movies like that where I go, like, I don't feel bad for you talked about it with Wedding Crashers. I don't feel bad for either of those guys. But I don't think you're supposed to feel bad for Brad Pitt. I think you're supposed to just accept that this guy's on a mission and that he's driven. Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I like that.

[Brian Bates]

Saint Ernstein over here.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I like that. That's good.

[Brian Bates]

What? Wedding Crashers. What? Who's supposed to feel sorry for those guys?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know, there is this moment where you're. You feel sorry for Owen Wilson because he now loves this girl and he's trying so hard to get her. And you're like, I hope he does. I hope he does because he loves her after he's just been. Yeah, take. Well, talk about emotionally manipulating. That's what that whole movie is about. In their lives.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, they're. They're crashing funerals. Later in the movie.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You're saying you're not invested in his personal love story.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, everything he did at the

[Dusty Slay]

end of the day, it's like, hey, buddy, if you know you, you're doing fine. If you don't get this one, you'll be okay. Jason. I like that. Out of all the names we've had, we got a simple Jason spelled with

[Aaron Weber]

an e, spelled weird.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Jason.

[Aaron Weber]

Jason.

[Dusty Slay]

Aaron not seeing white chicks is crazier than Nate not seeing Shawshank. How is that possible? Honestly, I don't think it's as crazy, but I was shocked that you had not seen.

[Aaron Weber]

It's one that I missed for sure. It came out. I just looked it up. Came out when I was 13.

[Brian Bates]

But this is my argument I've made previously. People lose. There's a million movies out there, see them all.

[Aaron Weber]

But that one had stopped making them. White Chicks had some lasting cultural impact, though. It is one that I should have seen at some point.

[Dusty Slay]

I wish I. I would think that would be right in your wheelhouse, though. And that's why I'm not shocked that you haven't seen Greece. But I. I was shocked about But

[Aaron Weber]

White chicks sitting at a 15. Rotten Tomatoes vs. Shawshank, widely considered one of the best movies of all time. There's a bit of a difference.

[Brian Bates]

I looked up our three movies on Rotten Tomatoes.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Moneyball, by far the highest.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, interesting.

[Brian Bates]

Grease second, Uncle Buck third.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, yeah, but Uncle Buck and Grease weren't around when Rotten Tomatoes first came out.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, they had a re that's a

[Dusty Slay]

retroactively farm all their bunch of people like you and Aaron rating them.

[Brian Bates]

Well, my heroes Siskel and Ebert gave it.

[Dusty Slay]

Which one?

[Brian Bates]

Uncle Buck.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm against giving bad reviews. I've never given a bad review. I've never given less than five stars. I've never given a bad review anywhere. I had a horrific Airbnb experience. I messaged the guy. I go, I want you to know how bad this was. I'm not going to give you a bad review, but I want you to know how terrible it is.

[Dusty Slay]

Did you give him a positive review?

[Aaron Weber]

I just didn't review.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's the way.

[Brian Bates]

Can I ask you this? This is a serious question. Movies. I can give you an opinion on if I think a movie is good or bad and why I feel that way. But music, I just like it or I don't. I can't give you. But you'll mitch all the time like like you too. They haven't had any good Music in Forever or a Coldplay or whatever. And I'm like, what is it about it that changes?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't really believe you two has ever had much of anything.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Just for the record, but. All right. I don't want people thinking that I'm. It's a beautiful day. It's a good song. I like that one.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. What about Coldplay that made you like the old stuff?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I understand music Coldplay, to me now. You know, a lot of people might be offended by this, but Coldplay, the original album, had a little bit of a radio head feel to it. A little radio head light. And then they got real poppy, and that's what I think.

[Aaron Weber]

The same thing that I have with Maroon 5. Maroon Fives. Their first album, Songs About Jane, is awesome. And they were a real band. They had real instruments, and then the instrumentation changed over time, and they became like. Like this. You wouldn't even know that they're a band if you hear them now. And you can make the same argument about Cold.

[Dusty Slay]

Same for Kings of Leon. I think the first two albums were unbelievable. And then I think it feels like people got involved behind the scenes and they were like, this guy, the lead singer has a very unique voice. Let's just lean on that. And less of the band.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And then you kind of. People still like it, but it. They. And they had good songs. I mean, their most popular song is not on those first two albums, but

[Brian Bates]

you just know music better. I. That Lee Bryce song you guys made fun of, I liked it. I thought it was good, but maybe. Because I just think he is a nice guy and his wife's nice guy, and I hate for you guys making fun of him.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, listen, anyway, I know that you listen to my podcast, and so I just. I just like that song.

[Brian Bates]

He's a good person.

[Dusty Slay]

I just gave a full breakdown on my whole Lee Bryce experience.

[Aaron Weber]

Where you hung out with him, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And.

[Aaron Weber]

And you hit it off. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, he's a great guy.

[Brian Bates]

Why were you so mean to him?

[Aaron Weber]

Well, I don't know if any of us were ever like, he's probably a bad guy.

[Dusty Slay]

I admitted that. I still don't like that song.

[Aaron Weber]

It was funny to see him cry and sing it.

[Dusty Slay]

But you know what? Lee Bryce embraced it. And he. Because a lot of people were saying that he said, kiss my fish.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And he made hats that said, kiss my fish.

[Aaron Weber]

That's fun.

[Dusty Slay]

So he embraced it.

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Dusty Slay]

And I, you know, I'm a big fan. And plus, he's huge. And I was terrified to meet him.

[Brian Bates]

But does he know you made fun of it?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I don't know that he ever heard it, but I did say that I made fun of it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And he laughed about it.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, no, I didn't. I didn't tell him.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay.

[Dusty Slay]

He knows. Told your Uber driver, but I didn't tell him.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. I got you.

[Dusty Slay]

He know. It got back to him.

[Brian Bates]

Got you.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. But I like him. I do like him. He was actually a very nice guy. And he's been, you know. And also, I got invited to the Opry for Jamie Johnson's birthday bash, and Lee Bryce was there. And you know, Jamie Johnson, who I respect so much as a musician, as a person, he loves Lee Bryce. And I go, who am I to be like. This song by Lee Bryce is not good. It. That's not a good song. But who am I to say it?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Do you know what I mean?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And plus, the guy's huge. Nobody's stopping him from catching his fish. Nobody's stopping cutting his yard. Yeah. He can do whatever he wants, and nobody's gonna do anything about it. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Dusty Slay]

I was a little sad when we took a pick together that he leaned down a little bit because I wanted people to see how huge he was. Yeah, he played football at Clemson.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, did he really found that out?

[Brian Bates]

You sent me that. He kind of looks like. I forgot the guy's name now. The character from Yellowstone.

[Aaron Weber]

The main dude. The big dude.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Not Kevin Costner, obviously, but the. What's his name? I never saw it, but he's the actor that was. Has been in a bunch of stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Oh, well, all right, the next one. Hannah Thornton. Brian needs to grab some Pawpaw Ale eight for Dusty while he's in Lexington.

[Brian Bates]

Do you know what, Papa La.

[Dusty Slay]

Go ahead and pull it out. You picked it up, right? Oh, you actually did.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, my goodness. Bo got a four pack right here.

[Dusty Slay]

I was totally trying to call you out. That's hilarious.

[Brian Bates]

I have a case, actually. But in my car, I was totally

[Dusty Slay]

trying to call you out that you didn't do it. That's hilarious.

[Aaron Weber]

Brimming with exotic flavors of Kentucky's only native tropical fruit, sipping Pawpaw Aleate will transport you to the most pristine beaches on the shores of the Commonwealth. Pawpaw Ale 8 is made with real sugar, has no artificial flavoring and no dyes.

[Dusty Slay]

No high fructose corn syrup.

[Aaron Weber]

Syrup.

[Dusty Slay]

That's the first thing I checked. Very good. It does have some vegetable glycerin in It. Whatever that is. But it's got some paw paw in it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, this is from. He brought this to the show. This is from Scott Morgan, fan of the podcast and he works for L81.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

Winchester, Kentucky. So thank you, Scott. Yeah, I got a case in my car, so we can all get wild.

[Dusty Slay]

We can all have a couple of paw paws.

[Brian Bates]

I have one right now.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's a little warm. Warm.

[Aaron Weber]

They call it a Kentucky banana.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow, that's so funny. I was really just calling you out, being like, oh, pull it on out. And you had it.

[Brian Bates]

I had it.

[Dusty Slay]

I had no idea.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, my bad. I didn't.

[Dusty Slay]

Can't have anything around here.

[Brian Bates]

You don't know how bottles opens. For sure.

[Aaron Weber]

It wouldn't be a twist.

[Brian Bates]

It was right into the mic.

[Aaron Weber]

That's my bad, dude.

[Brian Bates]

Are you gonna drink it?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, yeah, let's try.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, let me. Yeah, let me.

[Dusty Slay]

You obviously have the first sip of ale, huh?

[Aaron Weber]

Ala. Right there. That's a big.

[Brian Bates]

It does have alcohol in it.

[Aaron Weber]

No, it doesn't.

[Brian Bates]

Come on.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you like?

[Dusty Slay]

Very good. Wow, that's very good.

[Aaron Weber]

It says, not your papa's paw, Paul.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I did touch the bottle a little bit myself, but that's all right.

[Aaron Weber]

I waterfalled it.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's crisp.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's very good.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's almost like an apple cider, but with a pawpaw.

[Brian Bates]

Can I just have my own?

[Aaron Weber]

Just waterfall it, like a man.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I brought you guys like.

[Aaron Weber]

No, we're saving those three for his family. Dude, just.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah,

[Dusty Slay]

get in there.

[Brian Bates]

Gotta get in there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. How was it, madam?

[Brian Bates]

It was great. It was great. I'm not stone cold Steve Austin.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

I think I would. I'd like to try one cold. Yeah, but it is good.

[Dusty Slay]

I liked it.

[Aaron Weber]

It is good.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, speaking of stone cold Steve Austin, there's a really funny clip. There's a kid, he has down syndrome, and there's a kid who he's about to get in.

[Aaron Weber]

That Steve Austin doesn't.

[Dusty Slay]

No, the kid. The kid, yeah. He's about to get in the hot tub with his family. He's got two beers and they're bottles and he smashes them together. It's such a great saying.

[Aaron Weber]

Don't do that.

[Dusty Slay]

Don't do it. It's such a great clip. Okay, this next guy I'm gonna. I read. I read a little ahead of the comment and I. Before I read the comment, I want to point out that his name is Red Solo Cup. Pretty, pretty. Notorious. Bad song. That I enjoy it, I like it. But it is a bad song. All right, so that being said, this guy goes, yuck. That intro, that outro song is so bad, I'd rather hear Dusty sing the national anthem, so.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, well, go ahead.

[Aaron Weber]

How's that make you feel?

[Dusty Slay]

Do you? I don't know that I know the whole national anthem, but once you get going, you could. Oh, say can you see Join in. By the dawn's early lights what so proudly we hailed Come on. At the twilight, everybody. At the twilight last gleaming Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight what? So the ramp. What is it?

[Aaron Weber]

Ramparts.

[Dusty Slay]

We watch. We're so gay. I don't know. The words are so gas streaming and the rockets red glare the bombs bursting

[Aaron Weber]

in

[Dusty Slay]

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there oh say can that star spangle banner yet way it's longer than I thought. For the land of the free and the home of the braves I like to say Braves.

[Brian Bates]

There you go. Red solo cup. Yeah, we're still playing that outro song, though.

[Dusty Slay]

Be careful what you ask for, bud. Careful what you ask for.

[Aaron Weber]

I wanted to join in, but you requesting we join in every at the end of every stanza was very funny. Come on, guys. Everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it was like, check on Kathy. She might have killed herself.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah, she did.

[Aaron Weber]

A while ago.

[Brian Bates]

She did.

[Aaron Weber]

Halfway through the songs episode. Rest in peace, Kathy.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey, Sergeant. Oh, their last one.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

You ready?

[Aaron Weber]

Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

Sergeant Chris Littlefield.

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Dusty Slay]

Sergeant Littlefield. That's a tough name. I'm currently. Oh, well. All right, well, let me listen. It's a great name. I'm currently a law enforcement officer in Raleigh for 18 years and count.

[Aaron Weber]

Morning.

[Dusty Slay]

A listener from the beginning and I'm a huge fan of the show. Many people have had to listen to your show on my. On the way to jail. I do my best to spread the word, keep the podcast coming. You all stay safe. All right, Chris.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh my God.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, Sergeant. It's great.

[Aaron Weber]

They're back there going, just kill me now.

[Brian Bates]

Just kill me.

[Dusty Slay]

I like to think that somebody on the way to jail is going to have to listen to me sing the national anthem. Yeah, and even Chris turns it off.

[Brian Bates]

Scar say it's their Scared straight program. Turn it off. I swear.

[Aaron Weber]

That's awesome.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's perfect segue, cuz today we are talking about prison.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

Yes. All right. Now you've spent some time in juvie.

[Aaron Weber]

I have spent a little bit of time in juvie.

[Dusty Slay]

Took a class.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty, you've been behind bars a lot, so I have.

[Dusty Slay]

One time I got arrested.

[Brian Bates]

What was that like, how much? How long were you in jail?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. Eight hours or so. I was there. And did it change you? No. There's a couple people in there from my, you know, that I went to high school. Like, one guy from down the hall yelled my name and then another guy in the cell with me. We knew a lot of the same people. We talked. And you hated to leave. Yeah. I was like, it's just good to

[Aaron Weber]

catch up with people. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Guys. I never thought I'd be the kind of guy who actually had money set aside for something fun. But after using Rocket Money's automatic savings, I finally can easily save enough to take a fun trip with my family we'd been talking about for years. It's amazing how those small amounts add up when you're not constantly thinking about it. I like that Rocket Money automatically sorts all my spending across every account so I can actually see where my money's going. Set savings goals for things like a family vacation or new vehicle. And get helpful alerts for big purchases, bills and low balances that keep me on track without having to think about it. You just go download the app. Rocket Money links to your accounts.

[Aaron Weber]

Boom.

[Brian Bates]

That's it. Consolidates checking, savings, loans and investments into a single dashboard to give me a clear view of my financial picture. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Nate that's RocketMoney.com Nate RocketMoney.com Nate

[Dusty Slay]

it was a good time.

[Aaron Weber]

Have you hung out or have you been to prison or jail? I know you haven't been to prison.

[Brian Bates]

I. I have not. But I did do a show at a prison. I think I've told this before, but maybe five years ago, a magician friend of mine, Jason Michaels, who who works a lot with Stephen Bargazzi, they do a program where they go into prisons and do a show for them and Stephen, they were doing back to back day. Stephen could do one day with Jason, but he couldn't do the next day. So I said I'll do the next one. So this was at Charlesdale County Correctional Facility which is known as the worst prison in Tennessee.

[Aaron Weber]

The worst criminals, worst conditions, maximum security.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And Steven goes the first day and Steven's incredible and magic. I can't imagine how much they love that it just seems like the perfect thing.

[Dusty Slay]

They're like, hey, get me out of here.

[Aaron Weber]

How do you open a lock?

[Brian Bates]

And I think from what I'm told, it was like in the library.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Word got out about how great this magic show was that day two. They had so many people coming that they had to move it to like, the gym. But Steven's not coming. I'm coming.

[Dusty Slay]

Talk about a prison riot.

[Brian Bates]

Well, it almost did. It got out of hands. We were there for probably two hours before the show started because they couldn't get these inmates under control. And Jason told me he did a show with me a few weeks ago and he said, you know, I talked to the so and so that ran the program. He said there was a full blown riot that almost broke out that day because the inmates were like, so who was this guy? Well, not. Not just me.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But it led so many of them in there to see them show that some rival gangs and stuff were.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Bates]

And the warden, he.

[Dusty Slay]

That's where the worried took hold of you.

[Brian Bates]

It didn't help. The warden made them all go back, line back up, start all over. So it was like two hours before everyone got counted off and sat down their seats. And then I didn't have a mic. Everyone always talks about this show in prison. It's the best audience ever. Not for me.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you have an opener or was

[Brian Bates]

it just Jason did magic before me and.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

And people were canceling their appeals, asking for the death penalty.

[Brian Bates]

No, they just went back to their cell, 23 hour lockup. They're like, I'm gonna head on back. So it didn't go great. So. Yeah, it was. So I have been to prison for a few hours. Here's what I.

[Dusty Slay]

Probably a worse experience than I had.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Actually being locked up. We had some good laughs, I would say.

[Aaron Weber]

No laughs.

[Brian Bates]

The one thing I know, I mean, there's a few things I noticed that's not like the movies. One is, I just assumed, like, there's prison guards there with weapons. Nobody had weapons.

[Aaron Weber]

Interesting.

[Brian Bates]

And I asked about it and they're like, we can't run the risk that they'll just overthrow us. And then they have the weapons.

[Aaron Weber]

You could get swarmed and they grab it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. So nobody had weapons. There was people who worked there, but they didn't have weapons on them. Wow. So that was scary that if they did choose to do something.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You know, so you brought a gun, you were armed.

[Brian Bates]

And then of course they make you leave your phone. You can't bring your Phone in.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You know, so I didn't get to prison.

[Dusty Slay]

Terrifies me. I don't even want to take prison tours. But, you know, the Opelika Correctional Facility is not that bad.

[Aaron Weber]

I took a tour of the Mansfield Correctional Facility north of Columbus, Ohio, which is where they filmed the Shawshank Redemption.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That prison. It used to be a functional prison, and now it's just. They do ghost tours and stuff there. But it's mostly tours for the movie. But I have performed in one prison. I had a different experience than you. This was the Lando Lakes State Prison in Minnesota. I think it was medium security.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

But. But here's what they told us.

[Brian Bates]

Going in.

[Aaron Weber]

They go, no, it was all men. I'm pretty sure it was all men. We didn't see any women there.

[Brian Bates]

Red Pit.

[Aaron Weber]

But they told us that it was widely considered the best prison in the state. So much so that inmates were disproportionately well behaved. Cause none of them wanted to be transferred to another prison if they got in trouble. So that's. Who knows if that's true. But that's what they told us. When we're going in, you're gonna be great. So I went there with some organization. I don't remember the name. It was when I was with John Crist on the road and we did a show there. Who opened for us was an improv troupe of inmates. And they had a group, like seven or eight of them, and they had this whole improv show kind of trashing John to his face. It was really funny, actually. Yeah. They like.

[Brian Bates]

In a prison word. It already got in there.

[Aaron Weber]

They got to research him. And then they wrote all these jokes, just trashing them, making fun of him. And we're in the. This prison, and they had a sketch. They did a sketch about, like, getting his girlfriend's phone number from him and stuff. It was wild.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. And.

[Aaron Weber]

But they were our tour guides too. So we spent the whole day there. This improv troop was showing us around. Around the prison and stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

What were they in for?

[Aaron Weber]

You weren't allowed to ask. Most of them ended up telling you.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

We all had guys. A variety of stuff. Variety of stuff. Stuff.

[Brian Bates]

I had a guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Different.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, because we were there so long, waiting. Some would come up and start talking to you. And there was one guy came up and he had a toothbrush in his back pocket. And I'm like, what's that for? And he pulled it out. He will sharpen off the end of it. He showed it to you? Yeah. As A weapon.

[Aaron Weber]

We had much different experiences, man.

[Brian Bates]

He's like. I mean, he was just saying it's for protection.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

He wasn't planning on using it. He was just. If he needed it, you know.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

So I'm like, get me out of here.

[Dusty Slay]

What? He did? Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know if he told me.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

One guy asked me to get a message to his wife and daughter and gave me her phone number. And I called her. I was so. I felt so bad for this guy that I did it. And I think I left a message. And she never.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

But.

[Dusty Slay]

But he ghosted again.

[Brian Bates]

But that's crazy. Improv troop. Hey, just suggestions escaping.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey, Sarah. Yeah, this is Brian Bates. I did show in prison with your husband, and he had a toothbrush in his back pocket.

[Brian Bates]

Guy, different guy.

[Dusty Slay]

And he wanted me to get a message.

[Aaron Weber]

A court order not to talk to her. Brian violated it, probably.

[Brian Bates]

So I.

[Aaron Weber]

What I remember about that show, I had a joke at the time. I still do it occasionally, but I had a joke about I drive a minivan. And the joke is, I call it a minivan. I never call it a van. If I say minivan, you go, oh, he's taking kids to soccer practice. If I say van, you go, oh, he's taking kids from soccer practice. And I did that at the prison, and it got a laugh. And then it turned into, ah, everybody

[Dusty Slay]

pointing at each other

[Aaron Weber]

playfully. Right. But it's just. It just hit a little bit different in a prison.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But I had, honestly, a great experience there.

[Brian Bates]

That's wonderful. Everyone I've ever talked to who's done a prison and said that.

[Aaron Weber]

That everybody I talked to was great. I mean, you know, they're all in there for crazy stuff. Some of them are, but they all. You know, we. We hung out with them all day. I. I hung out with a guy who was a huge baseball fan, and he. The only way he could follow baseball was he got the newspaper and he would look through the box scores every morning, and that's.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I would hit it up.

[Aaron Weber]

You're in a prison of your own mind, Brian.

[Brian Bates]

Do you. Have you ever known anyone that's going to prison?

[Aaron Weber]

Jail. Yeah, I'm in prison now.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. It's too. Totally.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Very different things.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. I feel like I had a friend that went to prison. Yeah, I. I feel like I have a friend that went to prison. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

In Australia.

[Aaron Weber]

Really?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That was from your mission trip?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I wrote him a Letter a few months ago and he just wrote me back, yeah, crazy. I don't have it on me, but yeah, it's crazy.

[Aaron Weber]

I used to work with a guy who I've mentioned on the podcast before because he said he only drank mountain dew for 40 years.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Never drank water. And he said that while he was battling cancer. But anyway.

[Brian Bates]

Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

He also claimed to be one of the few Americans in regular correspondence with Charles Man Manson.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

They would write letters to each other, like kind of talking trash to each other.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And for years they had. They had a pen pal relationship. This guy's weird enough that. Yeah, I do, I do believe him.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

He's a guy who's. If somebody said that to you, like you'd look at him and go, yeah, you probably do do that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Did he pass away?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know. I need to check on it. Charles Manson did.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I met your friend.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So, Dusty, when you got arrested, you do the whole mugshot, fingerprint, all that? Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. I mean, I got, you know, with, with my court case, I got youthful offender, which is, you know, takes it off your record. Yeah, it's expunged, so I don't know if the mug shot is even out out there.

[Aaron Weber]

So you don't even have to talk about it because there's no record of it.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

It's been expunged.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, but I.

[Aaron Weber]

But you're a different man now.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And it, and it was one of those things where it's like, this is your first offense, so you can, if you get in trouble again, you know, you can't get that again.

[Brian Bates]

But.

[Dusty Slay]

So I don't know. I've never seen the mug shot. I mean, I would be interested in seeing it if it were out there, but I've never seen it.

[Brian Bates]

If you have it out there, send it to us.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Don't go looking for it.

[Brian Bates]

Did you.

[Dusty Slay]

They will.

[Brian Bates]

Did you get one phone call?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I don't know if I got one, but I, you know, I was allowed to make a phone call. I called my brother in law and he, you know, I had my own money for bail, so I called him. He came and got my debit card and went to the ATM and got the money and bailed me out.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you. Were you able to look up his number or did you have to just dial it off memory? Because right now I would have to call JG Wentworth.

[Dusty Slay]

I think that's.

[Brian Bates]

What would you call?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't even know my wife's Number.

[Dusty Slay]

I think back then I still had numbers memorized. I do have my wife's number memorized. I. My dad's number is still the same from my childhood, so I got it. But, you know, those are about the only numbers I have memorized. My own, my wife's and my dad's.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I read that. That's mostly just for movies and TV shows. The one phone call.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

If you call somebody, like your lawyer or whatever, and they don't answer, they're not gonna say you're out of.

[Aaron Weber]

They don't go. That's it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. You're stuck here forever.

[Aaron Weber]

Yep. You're doing life, pal.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So.

[Brian Bates]

All right, Aaron, you get arrested.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know. Stealing money from Prater Willie.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Embezzlement.

[Brian Bates]

Embezzlement. The whole Prater. Silly thing's just a scam for you to.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You know, you go to prison. What's your. What's your game plan?

[Dusty Slay]

What.

[Brian Bates]

First day. What's your mo. What are you gonna do?

[Aaron Weber]

I shaw shank it, man. I start to cook the book.

[Brian Bates]

Well, you don't. He didn't do that on day one.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, I get in there quick.

[Brian Bates]

Let's say we all.

[Aaron Weber]

I buddy up to the warden, Okay. I help him embezzle money from the state, and that's how I survive in there. And then he gives me covered. Cover from the bad people. They're not called that in the movie, but. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I think it's terrifying. It scares me. I think the plan would be to just pray, meditate, and fast up until going in and be so spiritually ready that I go in. And then I just, you know, I don't know. I just try to be stoic and meditate.

[Aaron Weber]

Keep your head down.

[Dusty Slay]

Keep my head down. Pray that God protects me.

[Brian Bates]

I would get a tattoo right here, says breakfast. I'd walk in and say, it's breakfast time.

[Aaron Weber]

Who would you say that to?

[Brian Bates]

The biggest guy in there. You gotta. The biggest guy in there. You got to just go face to face with him. And then I just, you know, people would know I'm hard.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Wouldn't mess with me.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Let's say the three of us go to prison together. We're sticking together as friends, or are we doing our own thing now?

[Dusty Slay]

I'm out. You're out.

[Brian Bates]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm pretending I don't even know you all, too. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, they're gonna. Do they make you cut your hair in prison? Do they let you have long hair?

[Dusty Slay]

I would shave my head.

[Aaron Weber]

Would You. Really? Yeah. And facial hair and everything, too.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. I would shave my head, though.

[Aaron Weber]

You'd be a whole different.

[Brian Bates]

Safer.

[Dusty Slay]

I looks. It is. I feel like it is safer. I also think I look scarier with a shaved head. I have a. I have a widow's peak. That looks pretty scary.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

And that's what I would do.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

That's probably smart.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I've said, what would you

[Dusty Slay]

do, Brian,

[Brian Bates]

with my hair? Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Grow it out.

[Brian Bates]

They grow out. I've always said. I've said this before. For Shawshank, you're Andy Defraying. You're Morgan free. You're red.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Wise. And no street smarts.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Look at that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Brian Bates]

And I'm Brooks.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Older, not probably not going to make it outside.

[Aaron Weber]

You're institutionalized.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And I always said Nate was the warden. You would say obtuse, and he'd say. What did you say to me?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that was really funny.

[Brian Bates]

I also said he was Tommy because. Because he helped him read better.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. But he ended up. He passed the.

[Brian Bates]

He got his ged, though, because Andy helped him.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm saying Nate would have failed it.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, all right.

[Dusty Slay]

I watched a movie called Lockup recently with Stallone. Ever see that one? It's a. You know what? It's a pretty terrible movie, but I did enjoy it.

[Brian Bates]

That is a great endorsement. All right, let me ask you this.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I've got some prison facts here.

[Aaron Weber]

This is fun.

[Brian Bates]

I want to kind of get into some what if scenarios.

[Aaron Weber]

There's a great. I found one. I went down a rabbit hole one night. There's a Reddit for people about to go to prison, and they're on there. Like, I have to. I report in tomorrow. Prison for, you know, six months or whatever. Any advice? And there's all kinds of people who used to be in prison giving advice on there. It's fascinating to read, speed, whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I would also do push ups.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Every day leading up as I could

[Brian Bates]

to try to get buff. Before you go just. Yeah, yeah, I saw your pecs just then.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I've been doing push ups again after the pec thing last week that I did.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, you like the way that felt?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I go, you know what? I'm about to get back into push ups.

[Brian Bates]

All right. If you had the option in this pretend world, okay. Roommate, cellmate, or not, and you're in there 20 hours a day, but I'm

[Aaron Weber]

taking, like, random, random Selection. You're rolling the dice, huh? I don't know what the right answer. I imagine some companionship is nice, but I think, I think being on your own. But it could be bad.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. What about you, Dustin?

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I think I'm going no roommate, because I, you know, I don't mind being alone.

[Aaron Weber]

Let's say me and you go to prison together and you have the option. Do you want a room alone or do you want to have Aaron as a roommate? Who are you taking?

[Dusty Slay]

I'll take his.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, I'd definitely go.

[Brian Bates]

I roll the dice.

[Dusty Slay]

We'd be arguing all day about stuff. But at least it would keep our safe. We keep our mind sharp.

[Brian Bates]

I. I've said before, I think I would not go remote. But you've argued. You'd go crazy. That alone for that many.

[Aaron Weber]

It depends on what your sentence is a lot. I mean, depends on what the situation is. Some prisons, you're going to have a lot of time outdoors and socializing. I'm saying in this scenario, extreme situations, you're, you know, 23 hours a day, solitary.

[Dusty Slay]

Get some reading done.

[Aaron Weber]

You get a lot of reading.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but you don't read.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but I would you start reading. Yeah. I mean, that's the kind of conditions I need to read.

[Brian Bates]

That's all there is.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. What if you're in a minimum security prison?

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

And it didn't have to be just for the sake of this. You have an option. You can have a cell phone, but YouTube's blocked. Maybe some other. No streaming services, but you got the Internet. You can make calls, you can text.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Or you got a TV with everything, streaming services, all that. Which one are you doing?

[Aaron Weber]

I'm taking the Internet.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm taking the tv.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

As long as it's an old tv.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Because, well, you don't want to be here. Well, at that point, I think he's

[Brian Bates]

got all his DVDs he's bringing in.

[Dusty Slay]

I think just texting. I mean, I think that would be really hard, especially if you're in there for a long time, you just. You're able to communicate with people, but you almost. I don't know, it feels like you almost want to let the outside go

[Aaron Weber]

and let them not have to worry about you the whole time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You're like, ah, my friend in prison's texting me again.

[Aaron Weber]

What you up to? Just hanging out. Well, I'm here.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm in prison.

[Aaron Weber]

That must be tough.

[Brian Bates]

What's it look like out there today?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but you could keep up with sports. You keep up.

[Aaron Weber]

I used to work at a company. We had a call center. We employed a ton of prisoners in the Oregon correctional system. And they were like one level of the call center process was all these prisoners, and that was like their job in the prison. And they apparently loved it because it was like one of the cushiest jobs you could get there. There. So they were on a computer all day.

[Brian Bates]

Huh. You know, if you could have a job and I mean, if you. What would you choose to do in prison?

[Aaron Weber]

I go full Shaw shank, dude. I would tutor the Build a library.

[Brian Bates]

Here's some options that are more realistic. Janitor, laundry worker. Groundskeeper, Kitchen staff.

[Aaron Weber]

Probably not the kitchen groundskeeper. I bet you want some outdoor. You want to maximize your outdoors time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I like groundskeeper, but I'm also not anti kitchen staff staff.

[Aaron Weber]

Why is that?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. It just feels like, you know, you're. I've worked in restaurants before you. You start to become friends with the other people you work with. You have. You're bonding.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I think that could be fun.

[Brian Bates]

You've worked in a kitchen. That's why you'd say no.

[Dusty Slay]

You'd be back there eating the fries.

[Aaron Weber]

Not a prison cafeteria, though. I imagine it's much different. I imagine it's a much different work environment, though. A lot of the guys I worked with were on work release. Yeah, the guy, the dishwasher. My buddy Dale. He had to go back to prison every night.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

He's a great dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But he was like, I like it here.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. If your team's communication is messy, customers feel it. I called a barber not long ago about a. An opening, and I got passed between two people who both said they call back. Neither did. That stuff will drive me up a wall. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, the business phone system. Built so you never miss a call. All your calls, texts, and voicemails live in one place. So anyone on your team could pick up a conversation, see the full history, and respond fast. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2, trusted by over 90,000 businesses who rely on it to stay reachable and look professional every day. Plus, you can set it up in just a few minutes on any device, Keep your existing number and add teammates as you grow. No it. No hassle. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com. nateland. That's Q U.com Nateland if you, if

[Brian Bates]

you did not commit the crime, but you got sentenced to prison and they said you can either get five years if you say you did it or 10 if you don't admit you did it.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, that's what happens a lot.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a huge problem. People plead guilty because they're told, you can take your chances at trial, but you're gonna lose and you'll do 25 to life. Or you plead guilty and you do five years. It's like a huge problem.

[Brian Bates]

Problem.

[Aaron Weber]

So a lot of people get trapped into that and they just weigh.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

The options.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I feel like that's tough.

[Brian Bates]

That is tough. Most of those people I feel like probably are guilty. They just to avoid trial, just go

[Aaron Weber]

ahead and well, never let this guy on a jury.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I don't want to be.

[Aaron Weber]

I assume if you're here, you're guilty.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I think he's probably right though. In a lot of those scenarios where they're like, you could fight it, you're guilty, you could fight it. But yeah, I mean, given the choice, it's like you might be like, well, yeah, I mean, I want to take the lesser sentence and not risk going to jail forever. But I think they're even. I don't know all my experiences, movies, but I think that even then you might go, we'll get you down to five and then there's no guarantee you're only going to get the five.

[Aaron Weber]

Can I ask you this? Would you rather go to prison for six months or you go to prison until you can solve a Rubik's cube?

[Dusty Slay]

Six months.

[Aaron Weber]

You could figure out a Rubik's Cube in six months.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

How close could you come Now?

[Dusty Slay]

I think I've gotten a side.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, so.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's all done.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. They're 24 hours a day,

[Dusty Slay]

six months hit. I'm going to, ah. Could be getting out.

[Brian Bates]

Let me share some prison terms. See if you guys know what they. They mean.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

A bullet.

[Aaron Weber]

A bullet?

[Dusty Slay]

No idea.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm thinking a cigarette, like ammunition from a gun.

[Brian Bates]

The other. Yes, but in prison terms.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I'm saying can you use it in a sentence? Can you?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I'm in for a bullet

[Dusty Slay]

for a year.

[Aaron Weber]

I have no idea.

[Brian Bates]

That's right.

[Aaron Weber]

A year.

[Brian Bates]

One year prison sentence.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow. Why is it called that?

[Brian Bates]

I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. All right. You're setting the tone for how the rest of these Are gonna go.

[Brian Bates]

I can't know everything, guys. Come on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Okay, so the one year bullet is called that because the entire. Oh, God.

[Brian Bates]

That's for.

[Dusty Slay]

AI doesn't know. AI's never been to prison.

[Brian Bates]

But in prison.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, if this. It doesn't say why. Okay. The term can also refer to a single portion of a split cigarette. Oh, you're right.

[Dusty Slay]

Right on both. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty's always right.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, go ahead.

[Brian Bates]

So we don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

All right. I have no idea. I mean, we could spend all day looking it up, but I. I couldn't find it right away. That's on me.

[Brian Bates]

Skid bid.

[Aaron Weber]

A skid bit. Is that like a quick sentence? A fast sentence?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I was not going to get that skid bit.

[Brian Bates]

A very short or abbreviated prison sentence.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought you said a skid bed. I was going to say that's night two.

[Brian Bates]

A nickel.

[Aaron Weber]

That's five year sentence.

[Brian Bates]

Yep. A dime.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, let me think. Ten years.

[Brian Bates]

A bow.

[Aaron Weber]

A bow. B O W. A B O W.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I don't know. I hope all these are not related to time, but is that a life sentence?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Interesting. Why do they call it a bow?

[Brian Bates]

Put a bow on it. I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

That makes sense.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Actually, Buck Rogers time.

[Aaron Weber]

Buck Rogers time. That's where parole is. Very, very far away.

[Brian Bates]

Very good. A release or parole date. That is unimaginably far into the future.

[Aaron Weber]

It's pulled up on my computer. Let me get it out here. Okay. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Did you really?

[Aaron Weber]

I was. I looked up Bullet and that was listed. Listed there. I cheated on that one.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

I watched Shawshank a lot. Yeah, I know all that.

[Brian Bates]

Backdoor parole.

[Dusty Slay]

That's where you get. Maybe you got some. Something happened that is getting you out.

[Brian Bates]

You died in prison.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, backdoor parole.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, That's. I was all right, though. Something's happening.

[Aaron Weber]

Something happened.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah,

[Brian Bates]

It did.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a safe bet for any of these.

[Brian Bates]

Something happened.

[Aaron Weber]

I bet y. Something goes on a Jody. A Jody.

[Dusty Slay]

That's like your. Somebody that's sleeping with your wife while you're in prison.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

How'd you know that?

[Dusty Slay]

I've heard that in military term.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay. When you're deployed.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I never heard that.

[Dusty Slay]

That. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

J O D, Y. I think it's

[Brian Bates]

J O D I.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

The hole. I think you guys know what the hole is.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Solitary.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. 23 hours solitary confinement. The rest of these probably. No. Lost my place here. You guys did much better than I expected. Conjugal visit. Yeah, that's only in.

[Dusty Slay]

That's when the Jody's not available and your wife comes in. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That's only in four states that allows that.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

California, Washington, New York, and Connecticut.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, so try to go to prison there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And Ted Bundy at the end. Ted Bundy at the end befriended a lot of the guards, and they gave him a lot of unofficial conjugal.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. He actually had a child while he was in prison on death row.

[Brian Bates]

That's crazy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, congrats.

[Brian Bates]

I was single till I was 48. Ted Bundy's a serial killer. Just hooking up all the time.

[Aaron Weber]

He hadn't admitted to everything yet, so who knows? But he did end up admitting to everything. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So currency in jail used to be cigarettes, and now it's called the Mac Economy. Refers to pouches or cans of mackerel, commonly known as max, which serves as the primary currency.

[Aaron Weber]

Mackerel, fish, I guess. Pouches or cans, I assume, like ramen noodle packets and stuff like that, like food commissary items.

[Brian Bates]

Says mackerels took over as the standard unit of exchange due to it holds high stable value.

[Aaron Weber]

So smoking's banned in prisons.

[Brian Bates]

It's when prisons went downhill.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, the war on tobacco just continues. It's like you're in prison and you can't even smoke. I mean, that's where you'd want to. To smoke. You're like, who cares?

[Brian Bates]

What do you think is.

[Aaron Weber]

Let them. Let them light up.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Did you find it?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah, the Mac economy. One packet of mackerel equals roughly $1, which easily buys services like a beard trim or cell cleaning.

[Dusty Slay]

We're talking fish, I guess.

[Aaron Weber]

Alongside fish pouches, also stamps and ramen. Noodle packets are heavily utilized for trading and paying off debt.

[Brian Bates]

Huh.

[Aaron Weber]

So you work with whatever you got. Yeah. Here they are right here. Chicken of the Sea.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Those little packs. Those are pretty good.

[Dusty Slay]

I love sardines.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Prison didn't sound so bad. All right. Netflix has a. I haven't seen it, but they have a documentary, I guess, called Unlocked, A Jail Experiment. I watched the trailer for it, but basically they let the inmates out of their cells and kind of run things on their own with the option if they behave better, this could become a regular thing. But it's just kind of. They're watching afar to see how they act with a lot more freedom and

[Aaron Weber]

just let them go.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

They can't escape, of course.

[Aaron Weber]

Does it work?

[Brian Bates]

I haven't seen it. I only saw the trailer for it. So they don't tell you how it works out, but they. As soon as the doors open, the guys just go wild, start throwing stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

And, dude, if you look at the. Like, the prisons and so not going well.

[Brian Bates]

Not at first.

[Aaron Weber]

I watched a documentary a long time ago about the warden of a prison in Switzerland or Sweden, and he came and visited a state prison in Georgia. And it. He was like, what is going on here? This is so different. I just. What I remember from that is he asks one of the prison guards, you ever get out there and play basketball with the inmates? The car was like, no. Like, he couldn't. Couldn't wrap his head around. Why are you hooping with these?

[Dusty Slay]

I gotta imagine, though, that the Georgia penitentiary system is a bit different than, like, the. The criminals are a bit different than in Switzerland.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, what are you even doing in Switzerland? That's a crime?

[Aaron Weber]

I think it's just a much, much smaller country, too, so that helps.

[Brian Bates]

The most secure prison.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Warden probably grew up with those guys in Switzerland. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Just like Opelika.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

They showed.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

There was a guy who was a music producer who got sent to prison, and they, like, built a studio in the prison for him.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And one guy was a chef, and they go, oh, great, we'll get you your own. They got his own knives and stuff. It looks like a summer camp.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

The most secure prison in the United States is the ADX Florence in Colorado. It houses El Chapo, the Boston marathon bomber, the 1993 World Trade center bombing mastermind, the Shoe Bomber, the Oklahoma City bombing guy, Eric Rudolph. So it's like the who's who of.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow, criminals. You think they hang out in there?

[Brian Bates]

No, they keep them separated 23 hours a day. They're.

[Aaron Weber]

Whoa, look at that. That's pretty wild.

[Dusty Slay]

That's insane. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Do you think the most famous prison is Alcatraz?

[Aaron Weber]

Has to be.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. You've seen Escape from Alcatraz.

[Aaron Weber]

How many other prisons can you name? I can name Rikers island, which isn't even a prison, I don't think. And then I think it's a jail.

[Dusty Slay]

Some of that as a. As a kid, San Quentin and then seen the Rock.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I forgot about the Rock.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, the Rock's great.

[Dusty Slay]

Sean Connery, Nicholas Cage.

[Brian Bates]

I forgot about that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

The escape from Alcatraz. Alcatraz is based on a true story. So there was two brothers and a friend of theirs who did escape. Now, their bodies were never found. The prison and FBI and everybody says they probably drowned in the water, but their bodies were Never found. So people like to suspect they did get away. They.

[Aaron Weber]

So about the Chateau Deef from Count of Monte Cristo. Is that on there?

[Brian Bates]

I didn't understand a word you said. I understood from. Indeed. But they made. I don't know if this is in the movie or not but in real life they made paper mache heads and they found real hair from, like, the barber and they made.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I remember seeing that.

[Brian Bates]

To make it look like they're in bed.

[Dusty Slay]

And he had, like a. He put, like, a pick or something in the heel of his boot.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And then they. They used a. I guess a spoon to somehow dig their way through holes. And then they climbed up the pipelines and got up on the roof and then they went down a drain pipe and then they had makeshift life vests that they made out of jailhouse raincoats and somehow they had a raft. And their bodies were never found. So some people think they actually did escape.

[Aaron Weber]

Why is it a prison escape is still, like, one of the most thrilling things for a movie or story or anything?

[Dusty Slay]

There's another Stallone movie. I forget the name of it but it's like his job is to get hired by prisons to break out.

[Aaron Weber]

Maybe I remember this movie.

[Dusty Slay]

That was a good one. Yeah, that one's a good one.

[Brian Bates]

What about Face Off?

[Dusty Slay]

Face Off. Love Face Off.

[Brian Bates]

Let's talk about our favorite movies.

[Aaron Weber]

You know much about the. The prison in Harry Potter?

[Brian Bates]

I do not.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what it's called?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Brian Bates]

I can't wait to hear it.

[Aaron Weber]

Azkaban. You know much about Azkaban?

[Dusty Slay]

Never heard of it.

[Aaron Weber]

It's on. And. Well, one of the movies is called the Prisoner of Azkaban.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, oh.

[Aaron Weber]

And it's about Sirius Black who's Harry Potter's godfather but was a convicted murderer. Wrongly convicted.

[Brian Bates]

Sounds like a rapper.

[Aaron Weber]

And he escaped because he was an animagus.

[Dusty Slay]

He does.

[Aaron Weber]

He was an animagus and transformed into the cat of a dog and got out of there. But it's patrolled by dementors. They're called. Have you ever heard of a dementor?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, sort of.

[Brian Bates]

Right now,

[Aaron Weber]

They're creatures that look like hooded people and they fly around and they suck the happiness out of people.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

They.

[Dusty Slay]

I know some people.

[Brian Bates]

They've come to my shows.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah,

[Brian Bates]

They were at the Friday Lake show this weekend.

[Aaron Weber]

They're blind, but they feed on human happiness. And that's how Sirius Black was able to escape. He transformed into a dog and they couldn't, you know, couldn't detect the dog's soul. So he go, go out of there.

[Dusty Slay]

I like that.

[Aaron Weber]

But it's a good. It's a good. But as far as I know, in Harry Potter, there's no jail system. It's like you go straight to Azkaban. You could be arrested for stealing, like, a candy bar. You get sent to Azkaban, get your happiness sucked out of you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I love that.

[Brian Bates]

I did a little research on the history of prisons. Okay. And they've been around almost since Humans have to some degree. But I think the whole concept of life in a cell or whatever is a relatively new thing. Like, I think in, like, biblical times, they were more like what we would consider now, jail, where you're there for a period of time until they can figure out what to do with you.

[Aaron Weber]

Because otherwise they'd just kill you.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

They go, why would we keep this guy around?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's true. They would just kill you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, we'll just kill him right now.

[Dusty Slay]

Even a lot of old Westerns, like, the prison in a town, would just be one room.

[Aaron Weber]

It's like the Andy Griffith Show. It's like a little drunk tank.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but it'd be one room where everybody's kind of chained to the wall or. Or whatever. And it's real dark in there. But. Yeah, then those kind of drunk tanks, those seem scary when you just get put in jail and there's a ton of people in there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. When did, like, the modern prison system start? Do you have any of that information? The way we think of it now, you said you're just looking up the history.

[Brian Bates]

1984. No, I don't. I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I'm sorry to know. Louisiana has the most incarceration. They have the biggest prison in the U.S. i missed that from our Louisiana episode.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm guessing it's also not the best.

[Brian Bates]

And it's.

[Aaron Weber]

It's not the biggest and the best.

[Brian Bates]

It's not. Yeah, it's not.

[Aaron Weber]

What's it called? Alligator? Alcatraz. No, The Louisiana State Penitentiary. Angola.

[Brian Bates]

Angola.

[Aaron Weber]

Angola.

[Brian Bates]

I've heard of this.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

5000 inmates, 1800 staff.

[Brian Bates]

I think it's square. Miles is bigger than Manhattan Hatton.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow. Big, big, big, big, big. Not good.

[Brian Bates]

All right, so let's talk about some big jail.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a big jail.

[Brian Bates]

Let's talk about some prison movies.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Shaw Shake, obviously, is the altimer. Yeah. You like Shaw Shake, right?

[Dusty Slay]

I do, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Movie.

[Aaron Weber]

You ever read the Nolla by Stephen King? Read Hayworth and the Shaw Shank? Redemption. It's like 30 pages.

[Dusty Slay]

Really?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You could read it.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, I'll check it out.

[Brian Bates]

In prison.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

The same book he wrote, the novella that Stand By Me is based on is on that. The body and Shawshank. And then I think Apt Pupil, which was made into a movie. I mean, he went like four for four. There's one other. I can't remember the other one. But anyway, Stephen King's successful.

[Brian Bates]

All right.

[Dusty Slay]

Some movies, yes. He has a good track record. Looks terrifying.

[Aaron Weber]

He looks like a character.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

From one of his books. But all his best movies are based on non horror, in my opinion. Shawshank, Stand By Me, Green Mile.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a good prison movie, I guess. Yeah. It's supernatural, but it's not a horror movie.

[Brian Bates]

I only saw it once and I didn't.

[Aaron Weber]

It's long. It's long because it follows the text, like to a T. So it's. That was shot here in Nashville in Tennessee. It was, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I think Renard was in it. I think he. I think he used that as a credit.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Renard, rehearse.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, brother. Where Art Thou? That's a good prison movie.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's based on the Odyssey.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I forgot about that.

[Brian Bates]

Have you seen the Castle?

[Aaron Weber]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I have seen that.

[Brian Bates]

Is that Robert Redford also shot here in Nashville? Maybe I'm thinking about the wrong one. I'm thinking about the one with James Gandalf. Gandalfini.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, the Australian film.

[Brian Bates]

No, the American film. No, maybe I've got the name wrong.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I don't think it's called the Castle. I'm not seeing it. Who said. Who'd you say was in it?

[Brian Bates]

James Gandolfini is the one I'm thinking about.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, okay. The Last Castle.

[Brian Bates]

The Last Castle.

[Aaron Weber]

The Last Castle, 2001.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah. Robert Redford.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That was shot here.

[Aaron Weber]

A castle can only have one king. It's a good cast. Robert Redford, Mark Ruffalo.

[Brian Bates]

I was working at the news station, and the lady who was in charge of getting extras for the movie reached out to the station to. And it was me to announce it on the news. We need extras or whatever. And I said, I may come over there and do that. She's like, well, if you help me promote this, I got something better for you than just an extra.

[Aaron Weber]

Whoa.

[Brian Bates]

I'm like, okay. So I made sure it got on the news. I never heard from her again. She never returned my calls.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

That was my first Hollywood moment.

[Aaron Weber]

Moment.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Bright lights, big city, but Years later, you got to play a serial killer in prison and you got to play on sprung a prison guard and I got to play prison guard.

[Brian Bates]

So we have been in a prison.

[Aaron Weber]

We have been in the present. Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Con Air.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty, you're not impressed that we were in a prison show together?

[Dusty Slay]

I've seen it.

[Brian Bates]

You have?

[Dusty Slay]

I have seen it. Yeah. That. That episode, yeah. Very good.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I was in two. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, you're in two.

[Aaron Weber]

Two different episodes. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, so keep watching.

[Aaron Weber]

But I was in the trailer for the show.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Because I have one line and the line summarizes the plot of the show. So it was used quite frequently. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But then you have a funny follow up. You say something like, yeah, it is confusing or something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. I'd be watching Sports center and there's Aaron popping up.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

In the Amazon prime commercial, I think it was.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. All right. You said Conair.

[Dusty Slay]

Conair. That's a good prison movie. People really hate on Conair. And. And the problem is, is Nicholas Cage's accent. The rest of the movie is good.

[Aaron Weber]

What's his accent?

[Dusty Slay]

He just has a southern accent. And it's like. It's a terrible southern accent. Put the bunny back.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, here's my take. If you're an actor, I. We'd rather you not have an accent than have a bad accent.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Like I can rationalize it in my mind. Oh, this character's from the south, but he doesn't have a southern accent.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

There are plenty of people like that.

[Dusty Slay]

But Con Air, don't put a fake

[Aaron Weber]

one on if it's not good.

[Dusty Slay]

People hate on it. It's a good movie. Dave Chappelle's in it. Vang Rhames, John Cusack, John Malkovich.

[Aaron Weber]

It made $224 million at the box.

[Dusty Slay]

Great movie.

[Brian Bates]

Steve Buscemi.

[Dusty Slay]

Steve Buscemi. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's fun. It came out about the same time

[Dusty Slay]

as the Rock Bubba from Forrest Gumps in it. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Came about 97. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

The longest Yard.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Two versions. The Burt Reynolds and then the Adam Sandler.

[Dusty Slay]

I never saw the Burt Reynolds, but I didn't like the Adam Sandler.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't either.

[Aaron Weber]

My relative Eddie Alberts is in the original.

[Brian Bates]

Really? What?

[Aaron Weber]

He was the warden. He's also the guy from Green Acres. You remember Eddie Albertson?

[Brian Bates]

He's your relative. Seemed like you're 300 something episodes in here, Aaron.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Eddie. Eddie Albert.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, I remember that guy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Oh, he was the main guy on Green Acres. How are you Related to him?

[Aaron Weber]

He's my grandmother's great grandmother's cousin.

[Brian Bates]

Oh,

[Aaron Weber]

Great grandmother's cousin, I think. Never met him or anything. I met George Lindsay once. I think he was on the other side of the family. But I was always told growing up Eddie Albert was my great grandmother's cousin. Wow.

[Brian Bates]

That's pretty cool. How about that?

[Aaron Weber]

He's dead, though. He died 90 at age 99 in 2005.

[Brian Bates]

Wow. Long life. Cool Hand Luke.

[Dusty Slay]

Cool and Luke. Really great. Really great.

[Brian Bates]

I've never seen Paul Newman. I know. It's a classic.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What we have here is a failure to communicate. Cake.

[Aaron Weber]

Good chain gang scene.

[Dusty Slay]

And they use that song in the. The Guns and Roses song. Civil War. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. That's a great song. American History X. Oh, yeah, That's a good one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Gets reformed in there. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Ernest Goes to Jail.

[Dusty Slay]

Never saw it. Little different.

[Brian Bates]

Tonally Artist fan.

[Dusty Slay]

American History X. Ernest Goes to Camp favorites. But I never saw Ernest Goes to Jail.

[Brian Bates]

I did a double feature, American History X. And then Ernest Goes to Jail.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Then Boy in the Striped Pajamas, right after that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a prison movie, technically.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Boy in the Striped Pajamas.

[Brian Bates]

Get hard.

[Dusty Slay]

Never saw it.

[Brian Bates]

Will Ferrell and never saw it either. I haven't seen either. I think I already mentioned Face Off. Oh, have you ever seen Stir Crazy?

[Aaron Weber]

No, I never saw it. There's a comedy club called Stir Crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, is that Richard Pryor? Richard Pryor in Arizona.

[Brian Bates]

And Gene.

[Dusty Slay]

Gene Wilder.

[Brian Bates]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

I've never seen it, but I do

[Brian Bates]

as a kid, I thought it was so funny. I don't know if it would hold up now, but I just remember thinking

[Dusty Slay]

they did a lot of fun movies.

[Brian Bates]

They did.

[Dusty Slay]

They will see no evil.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. They go to prison. They have to try to survive. It's very funny. And then they do a prison rodeo and they come up with an escape plan.

[Aaron Weber]

I gotta tell you, this is one of my favorite movie posters ever. Maybe because it just describes the entire plot of the movie for you. It says gene Wilder and Richard Prior dress up as woodpeckers and get framed for robbing a bank. And when they discover that prison life is for the birds, they go stir crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I've never seen a movie poster like that. You don't need any more info.

[Dusty Slay]

What about life? You ever see life? That's like Eddie Murphy, Bernie Mack.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, maybe Martin Lawrence.

[Dusty Slay]

Martin Lawrence.

[Brian Bates]

I haven't seen it.

[Dusty Slay]

It is. It's seen with that cast. You would think it would be very funny, but it's actually pretty sad.

[Brian Bates]

No, I haven't seen it.

[Aaron Weber]

Not that one. Life Cereal. Underrated.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know if it's called Life.

[Aaron Weber]

You ever have Life Cereal?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't like it.

[Aaron Weber]

Really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

What don't you like about it?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. Not a fan.

[Aaron Weber]

I love Life cereal. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I found three comedians who've done specials in prison.

[Aaron Weber]

Ali Sadiq.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Aaron Weber]

Jeff Ross.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

Ron White. I'm just guessing.

[Brian Bates]

That's a good guess, but no. Who's the there?

[Aaron Weber]

I saw one recently. Who was it?

[Brian Bates]

Monique.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I didn't see that one.

[Brian Bates]

Hers was called I could have been your cellmate because was it a woman's prison? Huh. Jeff Ross was a roast that was from 2015.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then Ali Sadiq was 2018.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

At a prison that he used to go to. I was trying to think of go

[Aaron Weber]

to, like, it's a supermarket. That was my go to prison for a while.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't finish that thought completely. I was starting to think about Jelly Roll and I was starting to think about celebrities who were once in prison. I thought about Jelly Roll. All right. Some TV shows. Oz.

[Aaron Weber]

Oz. I've never seen. I've heard it's. I used to watch really good, but a brutal wash. Yeah, I used to

[Dusty Slay]

watch a little bit of that back in the day. It was on HBO and I liked it. But yeah, it was before streaming and I didn't. And I never gone back.

[Aaron Weber]

Orange is the new Black.

[Brian Bates]

Orange is the new Black. Did you watch that?

[Aaron Weber]

No, never did.

[Brian Bates]

I think I watched the first season, Prison Break.

[Aaron Weber]

I watched a little bit of that.

[Brian Bates]

I was about to mention that.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, I'm trying to get ahead of you.

[Brian Bates]

It's a great concept. I saw it went multiple seasons, so he just had a hard time getting out.

[Aaron Weber]

He gets out.

[Brian Bates]

Do you know the premise?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I guess he's trying to break out of prison, but I read it.

[Brian Bates]

His brother goes falsely to prison and he's the one who designed the prisons.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

So then he goes in to try to break him out. Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Something like that. It's been a while.

[Brian Bates]

Face off was kind of similar. Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, well, Face off, they just. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, it's in prison, though.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. They did a. They do a face swap. And then the idea, based on a true story, is that I guess one of the two is like, you know, they're just sending him in there for. For intel, but then the other gets a hold to the face and then uses it to keep him in there.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah. And then from the Office Prison, Mike. Almost every one of my favorite shows, I was thinking there's some prison. I mean, that's a very vague one, but, yeah, Seinfeld.

[Dusty Slay]

Andy Griffith's a good one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But I'm thinking about, like, Precinct, like, prison and the Breaking Bad. There was a scene where all the

[Aaron Weber]

guys that kills 13 people at the same time.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I saw one. It's not. It's similar to the title, Breaking Bad, but it's. I can't remember the movie, but a guy goes to jail for, like, a DUI sort of manslaughter situation. And then he goes in and he's, you know, starting to get into these fights, and they, you know, basically has to join a gang in order to survive. And then finally his time to get out comes up and he gets out. But then the gang is. It's like. They're like, well, you're still in the gang. So they operate on the outside, too. So his family's in danger, so he ends up going back to prison and, you know, killing the main gang leader and then just living his life in prison as the new gang leader. It's so intense.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. What's it called?

[Dusty Slay]

It's something like. Let's see. Let's see. The breaking.

[Aaron Weber]

Way too long for me to Google

[Dusty Slay]

that bad prison movie. Let's see what we got.

[Aaron Weber]

It was terrible.

[Dusty Slay]

It's. It's great.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, the fugitive was. He didn't make it to prison, but headed that way.

[Aaron Weber]

Silence of the Lambs. There's a good.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Stuff there. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Some celebrities that serve time in prison. Martha Stewart.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right.

[Brian Bates]

Tim Allen.

[Aaron Weber]

Tim Allen. Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Wesley Snipes.

[Aaron Weber]

Wesley Snipes. Tax evasion.

[Brian Bates]

Yep. Robert Downey Jr. Yep. Mark Wahlberg. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Did he ever do prison time or is he just. Jail.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, jail. 45 days. That's a long time in jail.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And Felicity Huffman spent 11 days in federal Princeton for that. College admissions.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right. So did Aunt Becky, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, maybe.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know. I know she got in trouble.

[Brian Bates]

She did get in trouble.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe. The movie's called Shot Caller.

[Aaron Weber]

I want to be a baller. Shot caller 2017. This is with. Oh, John Bernthal's in it. He was in the Odyssey.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah. This movie's so good, I gave it all away. But.

[Brian Bates]

All right, it's time for Dusty Slay's top five country songs about prison.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, guys, get ready. Listen, I'm gonna tell you, this is one of the. The. In some Ways one of the easier list I've put together, but in other ways, one of my hardest, and this is why I'll say it.

[Brian Bates]

It's very that much time.

[Aaron Weber]

I think I can guess what number one is. It's the most iconic.

[Dusty Slay]

There are so many lot of honorable country songs about prisons.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty Slay's top 20 songs that, that

[Dusty Slay]

what was hard was narrowing it down. It wasn't hard to find them. All right, so I'm going to just run through the honorable mentions and then I'll get to the top. Top five. Okay. It's not going to be 20, it's 10.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

All right. Sing Me Back Home by Merle Haggard. Really great prison song. 11 Months and 29 Days by Johnny Paycheck. You can find this on my Spotify at Dusty Slay's top five country songs about prison. All right, number seven or number eight, in the Jailhouse now by Leon Russell. A lot of people cover favorite. Leon Russell version is my favorite. They sing it that song in oh Brother, Where Art Thou? This is sort of country. It's Leonard Skinner, but a very country version called Four Walls of Rayford. Yeah, it's a good, very fun. Old Red by Blake Shelton.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah, I love that.

[Dusty Slay]

Here we go. And then my number one honorable mention, number six is High Cost of Living by Jamie Johnson. Really great song. Then here we go.

[Brian Bates]

Were all those ranked from 10th to 6th?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So you just did a top 10.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, number five, Witchita jail by the Charlie Daniels Band.

[Brian Bates]

Great.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a great song. Number four, San Quentin by Johnny Cash. One of the best. You know, Johnny Cash and Mor Hager are in this one a lot. The next one, number three, There Ain't no Good. Chain Gang by Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings. Really great.

[Brian Bates]

I think I know the top two.

[Aaron Weber]

Chain Gang by Sam Cooke.

[Dusty Slay]

No, number two. And this is the one that I think that you think is number one. Number two, Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash. And then number one.

[Brian Bates]

Can I guess?

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Mama Tried.

[Dusty Slay]

Mama Tried by Merle Haggard.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

There also is one more that I like, but I, I. There's a reason I didn't put it in here. It's called. It's another Johnny Paycheck song. And the song's called the Only Hell My Mama Ever Raised. And I like it. But he has one line that I have a hard time with. He says, she tried to turn me on to Jesus, but I turned on to the devil's ways. And I just have a hard time singing that song.

[Brian Bates]

He's just being honest.

[Dusty Slay]

He's being honest. But I have a hard time singing the lyrics.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a great song, though.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So there you go. Those. Those songs are all really great. Sing Me Back Home by Merle Haggard. I mean. Yeah, it's a good one.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's a good list, but a little bit of upset there, I think, at the end. I think everybody's gonna pick.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, they are. And I love that song. But Mama Tried is. Is. Well, I wanted to mix it up a bit.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. That's a great list.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I think it's time to wrap it up.

[Aaron Weber]

There it goes.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. And since I'm running the podcast, I. I'll go ahead and wrap it up now. Guys, thank you for the Paw Paw L8. Thank you guys for tuning in. I'm Dusty Slay. This is Brian Bates. Aaron Weber, and we will tell you where we're going to be. Why don't we go ahead and tell you where we're. You know what? This weekend I'm off. The next weekend I'm doing a. I'm actually doing a show in Opelika at my high school for the faculty, so it's not open to the public, so don't try to come, but. And then, you know, Let Loose is happening tonight. That's the new open mic that we're doing here at Zany. And then there'll be another one on August 5th. And then I'll be in Providence, Rhode island, at the Comedy Connection that weekend. That is the sixth through the eighth in Providence, Rhode island, at the Comedy Connection.

[Brian Bates]

July 31st and August 1st, I'm in Goan, Indiana, and at the Funny Farm Comedy club. And then August 2nd, I am at Helium Comedy Club in Indianapolis. But this weekend, I just want you to watch my special. Worried.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, go watch it.

[Brian Bates]

My YouTube page comes out this Friday, so he doesn't. Five Eastern, three Mountain, two Pacific. So I don't have to worry about it. That's right.

[Dusty Slay]

So, yeah, so you don't worry us

[Brian Bates]

about it, which I will.

[Aaron Weber]

And we're here. I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona, August, August 28th, 29th 30th at the Desert Ridge Improv. Go to Aaron WeberComedy.com or my page on Punchup Live. Aaron Weber for all my tour days. Come see me out there.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, guys, this is the Public Figures podcast. Thank you very much. We're having a good time. All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire

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[Aaron Weber]

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[Dusty Slay]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six all new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Aaron Weber]

Refreshers contain caffeine.