252: #252 The Army featuring Greg Warren

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Nateland Podcast Episode #252 – "The Army featuring Greg Warren"

Release Date: May 14, 2025
Hosts: Brian Bates, Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber, and Greg Warren
Guest: Greg Warren

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Introduction

In Episode #252 of The Nateland Podcast, titled "The Army featuring Greg Warren," hosts Brian Bates, Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber, and their guest Greg Warren delve into a mix of personal anecdotes, updates on their careers, upcoming events, and discussions surrounding military experiences. The episode weaves humor with heartfelt moments, providing listeners with an engaging and relatable conversation.

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Key Updates and Announcements

Nate Bargatze’s New Endeavors:

• Brian Bates begins by sharing exciting news about Nate Bargatze’s latest projects. Nate has launched his book, Big Dumb Eyes, which has received overwhelmingly positive feedback. His tour has already broken attendance records in Duluth, Minnesota, leading to an additional show being added in Denver for September. Moreover, Nate is venturing into acting with his first feature film, The Breadwinner, produced by Columbia Tristar, where he stars opposite Mandy Moore.

  Brian Bates [03:10]: "His tour kicked off in Duluth, Minnesota. Already broke the attendance record. We'll talk about that a little bit more."

Merchandise Drops:

• The hosts announce the release of new Nateland merchandise available on their website.

  Brian Bates [03:18]: "Some Nateland merch is dropped. Now [e-mail] just click shop at the top."

Upcoming Shows:

• Dusty Slay promotes his upcoming show in New York City on May 17th at the Town Hall, marking his first official performance in the city. Additionally, season three of Nateland Presents is set to take place in Nashville from June 22nd to 24th, with tickets now on sale.

  Dusty Slay [04:48]: "I have a show this weekend on Saturday, May 17, New York City, the town hall. I need people to go."

• Greg Warren shares his participation in Nate’s tour supporting Big Dumb Eyes, highlighting the massive turnout and the inclusion of fellow comedians like Stephen Rogers, Keith Alberstadt, and Julie McCullough.

  Greg Warren [28:34]: "It's so polished and it was just fun to watch him every night."

• Aaron Weber announces his second comedy special, The Champs, premiering on May 16th on the Nateland YouTube channel.

  Brian Bates [06:02]: "But the biggest news of the day, Greg Warren's brand new hour special, the Champ premieres this Friday, May 16th on the Nateland YouTube channel."

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Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

Brian Bates’ Weekend Activities:

• Brian recounts his busy weekend filled with charity fundraisers in McMinnville, Tennessee, Lebanon, Tennessee, and Madisonville, Kentucky. He humorously shares an incident where he was chased by street thugs at a birthday party, causing both amusement and concern among listeners.

  Brian Bates [15:26]: "And it wasn't fun. They came out, there's them chasing. There's Dusty there. Not doing anything to help."

Aaron Weber’s Flat Tire Mishap:

• Aaron narrates a distressing experience where he drove on a flat tire during heavy rain, leading to significant vehicle damage and a delayed tow. This story highlights the unpredictability of life and the importance of responsible driving.

  Aaron Weber [08:55]: "I can't understand why bad smell baits wouldn't let Dusty set some traps. Sounds like Dusty's not only the wisest one, but also the best friend of the bunch."

Dusty Slay’s Military Aspirations and Arrest:

• Dusty shares his brief stint with the Army, where he intended to become a chef but was arrested before completing his service. This led to significant personal challenges, including probation and suspended licenses, offering a candid glimpse into his past struggles.

  Dusty Slay [73:08]: "But I did join it. Took the physical. But I got arrested before I got to go in."

Greg Warren’s Comedy Journey:

• Greg discusses his journey in comedy, including his participation in high-profile shows and the development of his comedic style. He emphasizes the camaraderie among comedians and the challenges of performing in large venues.

  Greg Warren [28:22]: "It was my first official show at the town hall. So I'm talking about it not being sold well. But to me, I'm excited that the amount of tickets that we've sold already, that we've sold them because you know, who would ever thought I'd be doing a theater in New York City?"

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Discussions on the Military and Comedy Industry

Military Experiences:

• The hosts delve into their experiences with the military, discussing the rigors of training, the challenges of balancing personal aspirations with service obligations, and the impact of military discipline on their lives.

  Aaron Weber [82:46]: "I went through the whole plebe year, the whole freshman year... you have to stand at attention, inspect uniforms, quiz on news, and maintain discipline."

• Dusty and Aaron share their contrasting paths in the military, with Dusty intending to become a chef and Aaron attending West Point before deciding to pursue comedy instead of a military career.

  Dusty Slay [74:43]: "I was going to be a cook... then I got arrested."

  Aaron Weber [81:36]: "I spent the first year of college at the United States Military Academy at West Point. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done."

Comedy and Industry Insights:

• The conversation touches upon the challenges comedians face in the industry, such as building a reputation, managing finances, and the influence of the internet on gaining exposure. They critique the music industry’s control over radio play, drawing parallels to the comedy scene’s struggles for visibility.

  Dusty Slay [62:42]: "The Internet has really opened it up for people to make their own way... But comedy is not the same as music. They really have a stranglehold on music."

• Brian shares his view on the authenticity of the army recruitment slogans and their evolution over the years, blending humor with critique.

  Brian Bates [109:35]: "Army strong. Still not be good. Yeah."

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Notable Quotes with Speaker Attribution and Timestamps

• Greg Warren [12:00]: "You may go first."
• Aaron Weber [06:17]: "My special, like a real special. Not just some."
• Dusty Slay [07:05]: "Do you still have the special, Greg?"
• Brian Bates [15:05]: "How has it been since..."

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Listener Comments and Reactions

The hosts engage with listener feedback, reading and reacting to comments from various platforms such as Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and Apple Podcast reviews. They address humorous and heartfelt remarks, further strengthening their connection with the audience.

Brian Bates [35:49]: "Jay Rinsing. This episode was so good. I was laughing so hard and then found myself crying at the end between Dusty's song list and you three talking about your moms and wives."

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Sponsorship and Advertisements

Throughout the episode, the hosts seamlessly integrate advertisements for sponsors like Captain Morgan, BetterHelp, Cremo, and Chubbies. They maintain a humorous tone while promoting these products, ensuring that the ads complement the overall conversation without disrupting the flow.

Brian Bates [21:15]: "Brian did the podcast and then your life fell."

Aaron Weber [34:38]: "I may leave my wife. That's how good Cremo is."

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Upcoming Events and Specials

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts promote their upcoming shows and specials, encouraging listeners to attend and support their comedic endeavors.

Dusty Slay [117:35]: "Shot in New York a bit. A bit of co times. It was a weird. But this is my first official show at the town hall."

Brian Bates [118:35]: "This week, a few weeks ago, we talked about the Revolutionary War... next month is the 250th anniversary of the US army being created. So let's talk a little bit about the Army."

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Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with the hosts expressing gratitude towards their listeners and each other, reinforcing the camaraderie that defines The Nateland Podcast. They leave the audience with final thoughts on their experiences and upcoming projects, maintaining an open invitation for future engagement.

Brian Bates [122:21]: "All right, guys, thanks. See you next week."

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Conclusion

Episode #252 of The Nateland Podcast offers a rich tapestry of personal stories, professional updates, and meaningful discussions. By balancing humor with genuine conversations about their journeys in the military and the comedy industry, the hosts create an engaging and relatable experience for listeners. Notable moments, such as Greg Warren’s special and Dusty Slay’s first New York City show, are highlighted with enthusiasm, encouraging audience support and participation.

Notable Quotes:

• Brian Bates [03:10]: "His tour kicked off in Duluth, Minnesota. Already broke the attendance record."
• Aaron Weber [08:55]: "I can see some comics being good at that. Yeah."
• Dusty Slay [73:08]: "But I did join it. Took the physical. But I got arrested before I got to go in."
• Greg Warren [28:34]: "It was my first official show at the town hall. So I'm talking about it not being sold well. But to me, I'm excited that the amount of tickets that we've sold already, that we've sold them because you know, who would ever thought I'd be doing a theater in New York City?"

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This summary captures the essence of Episode #252, ensuring that those unfamiliar with the podcast can grasp the key points, discussions, and the dynamic interplay between the hosts and their guest.

Transcript

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[Brian Bates]

Hello, folks. And hey, Bear. Good to see everyone.

[Dusty Slay]

We're so pumped to be here. You had asked me to get some photos, and then I'm getting them, so.

[Brian Bates]

I'm sorry, as always, I'm Brian Bates, sometimes Dusty Slay, and occasionally Aaron Weber. And sitting in for Nate the wonderful Greg Warren.

[Greg Warren]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

Hey, guys. It's nice to be back.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Last time I saw you, I was on the Consumers.

[Aaron Weber]

You did a great job, man.

[Brian Bates]

I'm kind of what you call in the podcast faith, a fixer. I come into underperforming podcasts and I. I boost the ratings. Adrian asked me to come do the consumers.

[Aaron Weber]

This was Adrian? Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You're gonna do that for us anytime soon or just other podcasts?

[Brian Bates]

Well, I'm going against you guys, so it's. It's tough. But anyway, I had a great time with.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, you did.

[Brian Bates]

See you.

[Aaron Weber]

You did a fantastic job. The. The people, the. The coterie members loved you. It was. That's what we call our listeners. The coterie.

[Greg Warren]

The diaper brand.

[Aaron Weber]

No, that's. That's part of the reason why people don't like it. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Because I think coterie diapers.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. Coterie means like a. I don't know. Our guy Sean has like a word of the week, and one of the times, it's like an assembly. It's like a group of people.

[Greg Warren]

Okay. I like it. It's a small, often exclusive group of people who share a common interest or purpose.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. With our fans. It's very exclusive and small, but it's.

[Greg Warren]

Tough to get in, tough to become a fan.

[Aaron Weber]

It's not.

[Greg Warren]

If they let you watch the podcast.

[Dusty Slay]

Sorry, guys. I sent those to you that text them to you. I could not airdrop them. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, hey, Dusty.

[Dusty Slay]

Brian asked me about photos. He goes, you got Those photos. And then I started getting them, and he goes, hey, be. Hello, folks.

[Brian Bates]

I asked you for them last night.

[Dusty Slay]

I know.

[Brian Bates]

So I thought maybe 12 hours would.

[Dusty Slay]

But I got him, though.

[Brian Bates]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Well, it was good. It was fun because you do the research on the consumer.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I just got to sit back and do what these guys do is nothing and just crack jokes. So it was fun.

[Aaron Weber]

You spent an inordinate amount of time insulting me on my own podcast, remember?

[Brian Bates]

Well, that was fun as well.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You seem to enjoy it quite a bit.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Well, you're a good sport. You can take it. It. I'm so excited that you're here. Quick, some announcements. Nate, he's all over the place. He's out there promoting Big Dumb Eyes. The book is out.

[Greg Warren]

It's funny the way he said that. He's out there promoting Big Dumb Eyes.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's what it is.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

His eyes are big and they're dumb. And everyone seems to be loving the book. Great feedback. So he's out there doing that. His tour kicked off in Duluth, Minnesota. Already broke the attendance record. We'll talk about that a little bit more. And he just added a third show in Denver in September. I think he's going to make it. Yeah, he's going to.

[Aaron Weber]

He's doing pretty well.

[Greg Warren]

Things are heading in the right direction.

[Brian Bates]

Yep. And now he's on set for his first feature film with Columbia Tristar, the Breadwinner.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

How about that?

[Aaron Weber]

Opposite Mandy Moore, from what I understand.

[Brian Bates]

Opposite Mandy Moore. Very opposite. Yes. I would say about as opposite as you can get. So he is. Yeah, he's on location filming.

[Greg Warren]

It's crazy. We've been hearing about it for a while and they're. They're shooting it now, so.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

New chapter.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Also, some Nateland merch is dropped. Now [e-mail] just click shop at the top. Check out the site for. For new items there. And if you're coming to a show, come find us at the merch table. You won't find Chase anymore, but there'll be somebody there.

[Greg Warren]

Just click shop at the top. You almost have to put shop at the. If you put it at the bottom, there's no rhyme. Yeah. You're really missing out, huh? Yeah, you gotta put it.

[Aaron Weber]

I think. I think the rhyme came first. And then they were like, we should sell some stuff. I think. Yeah. Somebody was saying, shop at the top. We gotta get some shirts made. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I got a too good notion news.

[Greg Warren]

What's that?

[Dusty Slay]

I. I'm not quite selling as well in New York City. I have a show this weekend on Saturday, May 17, New York City, the town hall. I need people to go.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. And other Nateland news.

[Dusty Slay]

Get that in.

[Brian Bates]

That's awesome. May 17th. Go see Dusty.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Day before my birthday.

[Aaron Weber]

When is it?

[Dusty Slay]

May 17th.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm gonna miss it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I'm gonna miss it.

[Aaron Weber]

I was. I'm going to New York tonight, but I'm gonna miss it. I'm sorry.

[Brian Bates]

June 22nd, 23rd and 24th. We're back for season three of Nateland Presents, the showcase. Tickets are on sale now if you want to be part of this taping right here in Nashville. Those are so much fun. You did a pop in guest set last. The last taping.

[Aaron Weber]

It was a ball. Yeah, that was.

[Brian Bates]

That was a great, great night. You were on that show, Dell Jones. Remember that?

[Aaron Weber]

That was a great show.

[Brian Bates]

Fun night.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

What show?

[Brian Bates]

Naan Presents.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that was a good one.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I think you hosted that one.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

Probably so.

[Brian Bates]

Check out the consumers every Tuesday. Don't make me come back there. Every Thursday, Nateland has a handful of great specials from Aaron Weber. I think you're over 450,000 now.

[Dusty Slay]

Big time.

[Greg Warren]

We're cooking, chilling it, man. We're cooking.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a great special, too. I watched it.

[Brian Bates]

It is a great special.

[Greg Warren]

Thank you, man.

[Brian Bates]

Nick Thune has a great special. Steve Rogers has a great special out. But the biggest news of the day, Greg Warren's brand new hour special, the Champ premieres this Friday, May 16th on the Nateland YouTube channel. That's awesome.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Thanks, man.

[Brian Bates]

Our special, like a real special. Not. Not just some.

[Aaron Weber]

He's trying to hit us against each other. I'm not. I'm not going to be part of that.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but that's great.

[Dusty Slay]

Where the fishing bit is. Yeah, the fishing bit's so good.

[Aaron Weber]

Thanks, buddy.

[Dusty Slay]

It is such a good bet.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's. I think we put a trailer out and it's got the highlights of the fishing bit. We. I want to turn it into like a five minute.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Love that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's. Thanks, man.

[Brian Bates]

It is great.

[Aaron Weber]

Pretty excited about it.

[Brian Bates]

It's great. Well, welcome.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, thanks, buddy.

[Brian Bates]

Is there any other dates you wanted to mention?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I have so many, but no, May 17th is really. I mean, the 16th, I'm in Portland, Maine, but yeah. I've never done my own show in New York City. That's. And I don't know that I appeal to A New York City so much.

[Aaron Weber]

You do.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, if they come, they're going to love the show, But I don't think people in New York look at me and go, oh, that's a guy we'd like to go see. But it's a great show.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, go see that show, man. I mean, it's. It's. From what I understand, it's the hardest place to sell tickets, too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. There's a lot of options.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not like they're in New York going, what can I do?

[Aaron Weber]

No, they got other. They got a lot of stuff going.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, I forgot to mention this. Nate just added another show at Madison Square Garden. All right, guys, go ahead. What were you saying?

[Aaron Weber]

Seems like he's taking a shot at you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, he loves doing that.

[Aaron Weber]

I got some of that on my own podcast. I flew him in. I went and picked him up from the airport. Airport. Took him to barbecue.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And he sat down and spent. Oh, right around 90 minutes just with the Greg Warren roast.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Brian takes shots at us, the whole podcast. And then the comments go. Everybody's so mean to Brian.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we.

[Brian Bates]

He did take me to barbecue. And Sonny Gray was pitching that day for the Cardinals.

[Aaron Weber]

Yep.

[Brian Bates]

Drove by the Cardinal Stadium. I was like, oh, man. And then we sit down at the restaurant. I'm like, there's Sonny Gray. He's been on our podcast. First pitch, grand slam. The Bates jinx got Sonny Gray through.

[Dusty Slay]

The television, and then he died.

[Brian Bates]

I took a turn. But the Cardinals won that day.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, they did. They did. They did. I. I had it rough after that. I don't know if I told you, because you got a ride home from Sean. Sean. And I was in a hurry, and I went and picked up about $200 worth of barbecue for my family. We're going to have a family. I was like, I'm going to get everybody together. And it was raining pretty bad, and I drove through. It was like, kind of flooding, you know, So I drove through it and didn't realize I just smashed into the curb, smashing the curb. And you know how they tell you when you get a flat tire, you're not supposed to drive on it?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, they say that.

[Aaron Weber]

You're not. You're not. Like, I. I went on the freeway with it and. Yeah, it was terrible.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know that they give that advice in St. Louis, though. Yeah, keep going.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. It's. It's not like that.

[Greg Warren]

And then figure it out.

[Aaron Weber]

I know you think it's like that because that show we did with Nate. We stayed in the bad neighborhood, but it's. It's fine. But it was. It was. Yeah, I tore it to shreds. I tore it to shreds. Yeah, it was. And I bent the wheel. Had to get. It. Had to get in the wheel. And then, yeah, I was in the. I had. I had to get a toad. So the tow trucks there. I was on. I think I was on with Adrian or somebody about. About the special. It's like one of those things where it's like, it's critical. Phone call. And I'm on the phone, and the tow truck driver shows up after like two hours. My barbecue's going bad. And I'm like, hey, here you go, man. Here's my AAA card or whatever. And he's like. And he hooks the car up, you know, I'm on the phone and he. He comes back and he goes, hey, man, like, you can't ride back here. Like. Like you have to be up in the cab with the tow truck. Like, you're not allowed to, like, be in your car. Like, yeah. He was like, you can't.

[Brian Bates]

It's a dream come true.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, you can't do that. So, yeah. Two things I learned. You can't ride in the back, and you really shouldn't drive on a flat tire. I thought it was like a old wives tale, you know, like, you can't go swimming until an hour after something like that. But no, you really can't. Like, you can't. You should not drive on a flat tire.

[Dusty Slay]

I've done that. And then I try to go to the tire place. I go, can you plug this? And the guy goes, no, you drove on this.

[Greg Warren]

You really ruined this top ripped to shreds.

[Brian Bates]

All right, that makes me feel a little bit. Because you remember there was really bad weather coming through, and you said, man, I just hope you make it. If you. If you don't, you know, just call me, text me.

[Aaron Weber]

We'll.

[Brian Bates]

We'll come get you. And there was. My flight was delayed. We had to go around. It was flooding, all this stuff. And I texted you, finally made it home. And it was just dead silence because you had your own issues going on.

[Aaron Weber]

I had that going on. And then that was the night I found out I had black mold in my house. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So Brian did the podcast and then your life fell.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes, man. Yeah. Everything went wrong. Yeah. Yeah. I black.

[Dusty Slay]

At least the Cardinals won.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then you left two days later for Europe.

[Aaron Weber]

I did. I went to. It was pretty awesome. Went to Europe With Nate.

[Brian Bates]

He bought my lunch. Yeah. And then I said, hey, let me return the favor when you come to Nashville. So I text him and say, hey, can I take you to lunch? He's like, ah, I'm too busy, man. I got stuff to do.

[Aaron Weber]

I did.

[Brian Bates]

And then I show up like, how'd it go? He's like, ah, all that stuff got canceled.

[Aaron Weber]

It didn't. I didn't say all that stuff. I didn't say all that stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

He can't afford another lunch with you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Even if you're paying.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, from a. From a finance standpoint and a time standpoint.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, I went to lunch with him in Orlando. Seven hours later, you know, after I take him across town, and just.

[Greg Warren]

The health of your soul you need to worry about.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

All fair points. You want to get into our weekend?

[Greg Warren]

Let's get into it, man.

[Brian Bates]

You may go first.

[Greg Warren]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Oh, Tuesday I had a show in McMinnville, Tennessee, home of Dusty Sleigh.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

It was a fundraiser for F.C. boyd Christian School. Had a great time. Folks came out. They gave me a big gift basket.

[Greg Warren]

Nice.

[Brian Bates]

There was a dish towel, said McMinnville on it. I re. Gifted it to Dusty.

[Greg Warren]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

And went and checked out all his, you know, go to stomping grounds in McMinnville.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mentioned Tammy's on the show. No one seemed like they'd ever.

[Dusty Slay]

That's shocking to me. Tammy's is the best, second best restaurant in McMinnville.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, I should have mentioned the best. What's the best?

[Dusty Slay]

Begonias.

[Brian Bates]

Begonias.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I mentioned Tammy's, and they all looked at me like, what? No.

[Greg Warren]

Anyway, that's tough. What do you think? You have a great local reference, and it just gets nothing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I'm hanging out. Maybe I'm hanging out with a different crew of people in McMinnville than you are.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, you know, things change, too, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, some of these places get under new management.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Go the wrong direction.

[Dusty Slay]

You should have stayed at the cabin.

[Brian Bates]

Should have. I'm sure my wife would have been great with that. Honey, I know I'm an hour and a half away, but I'm crashing here tonight.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. That was Tuesday. Then Thursday, I was in my hometown of Lebanon, Tennessee, doing another fundraiser for New Leash on Life Animal Rescue. And a guy at the show said, hey, were you in the Consumers Podcast?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. He's like, I'm a big fan of Greg Warren. I followed his career.

[Aaron Weber]

This is Amazing.

[Brian Bates]

And I was like, well, I'm also on the Nateland podcast. He's like, I know, but I. I'm a fan of Greg. Wow. So this is.

[Greg Warren]

He tried to get Greg for that gig, probably.

[Brian Bates]

Well, he wasn't booked to me, but I'm sure. I'm sure they did.

[Aaron Weber]

He called me up as. This feels more like a Bates gig. This is.

[Brian Bates]

They told me. They said Jeff Allen was out of our price range, so we reached out to you. They like to let me know I'm never their first choice.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that man. They really don't have a lot of tact when it comes to some stuff.

[Brian Bates]

And then Friday I was in Madisonville, Kentucky, doing show. Another fundraiser for Otter Lake Conservatory.

[Greg Warren]

Tell you what, you're doing more good.

[Brian Bates]

Hey, all of us, I love helping out these charities. As long as they pay me well. Yeah, I'll go anywhere.

[Aaron Weber]

We're not talking Jeff Allen money. Just so you know.

[Brian Bates]

I got a Satanist convention next week.

[Aaron Weber]

You can get him. He's gettable.

[Brian Bates]

If the money's right, he would do it. But that was great as well. They sent us all gift bags. A fan gave me this hat. This is the Massonville Miners. They are a Miners with an E. That's what.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what you're looking for.

[Brian Bates]

I'm glad you clarified, actually.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. If you're listening.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That is the Nashville Predators versus the Madisonville Miners. Now it's minors with an E. Hold on a second.

[Aaron Weber]

That's genius. The Predators against the Miners. That's outstanding, Bates.

[Brian Bates]

Thank you. Thank you. They are a summer. A college baseball summer league.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, nice.

[Brian Bates]

So all the NCAA rules, except they play with wooden bats.

[Greg Warren]

That's good.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. So anyway, had a great time in Madisonville and just a lot of base hits.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. No, no power in that game.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah. I guess they're getting them ready for the next level, maybe.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Fundamental baseball.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And then Saturday, I attended a birthday party for Daisy Slay, and it was going well. And I don't know what I. I mean, basically, I got attacked by a group of street thugs is all I know to say. And. Oh, it was demoralizing.

[Dusty Slay]

That's my son. That's my son and daughter there.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's. That's Daisy and Sam. That's my daughter Eleanor. And then that's my.

[Dusty Slay]

That's my niece over there.

[Brian Bates]

And it wasn't fun. They. They came out, there's them chasing. There's Dusty there. Not doing anything to help.

[Aaron Weber]

No, he's.

[Dusty Slay]

He's I'm like, get his wallet. Get his wallet.

[Brian Bates]

But they chased me for some time around the yard. Didn't they Dust?

[Dusty Slay]

They did. Yeah, they did.

[Brian Bates]

And they ganged up on me.

[Dusty Slay]

You see that? Those garden beds? Oh, look at how good that garden.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it does look.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that a QT hat you got on there?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Will get you that?

[Dusty Slay]

No. Me and Will collabed on a. On a video on my Instagram, and QT sent me a bunch of merch and.

[Aaron Weber]

Really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And they're. So I got a hat for Will, too.

[Aaron Weber]

You guys get. I mean, Aaron does one joke about Tums in his act, like, and it's a good joke. Okay. I saw.

[Greg Warren]

It's actually an embarrassing percentage of my special is about Toms. If you do.

[Aaron Weber]

I. I did it.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, it's 13% of the 30 minutes.

[Brian Bates]

It's still.

[Aaron Weber]

It's. It's. It's a joke. I mean, it's a good joke. And he gets Tums, and they send him all. I spent a lifetime talking about Jif. Where I worked.

[Brian Bates]

Where.

[Aaron Weber]

Where I worked. The guy that runs that company. Okay, Smuckers. It took them two years to send me anything. He's one of my best friends. They said that. Nothing. Nothing. And you. And. And you're getting QT merch just for doing a joke one day.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Stupid video with Will. I mean, come on. Brazzy finally came through, but not even. It was more. It was driven by the uncrustables.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Brazzy. Yeah, that dude.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Do you got a Walgreens stuff on this next. The special that's coming out?

[Aaron Weber]

I got a lot of Walgreens up, but they're not going to send me anything.

[Greg Warren]

You don't think so?

[Aaron Weber]

No, dude, it's not. It's derogatory.

[Greg Warren]

I. But I think they know what they are, and they lean into it.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, you know what? I got a Cracker Barrel commercial off my Cracker Barrel. Joe.

[Greg Warren]

You got a national TV show.

[Aaron Weber]

National TV show of a Cracker Barrel. I got.

[Brian Bates]

I.

[Aaron Weber]

You think I shouldn't be doing a Jif commercial? Are you kidding me?

[Dusty Slay]

You should. Jeff is missing an opportunity.

[Aaron Weber]

I did a Jif commercial. It was called the Salesman. It was an hour. Yeah, I did it.

[Dusty Slay]

They're like, we don't even need to send this guy anything.

[Aaron Weber]

I haven't seen that Cracker Barrel commercial, but I was going to congratulate you.

[Greg Warren]

That's huge, man.

[Aaron Weber]

I've been hearing all about it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's. It's 15 seconds. It goes quick but it's cool.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They put my name on there. I'm not playing just a character there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. You're used to your spokesman. Yeah, at this point.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to be the flow of Cracker Barrel.

[Brian Bates]

Well, last week.

[Aaron Weber]

Be careful man. That, that you could be that and I don't know if she, you know. I want your career to be a little more broad than that.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know, I' take it. You know what I mean?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Do you have six. Six fingers.

[Greg Warren]

What are you sipping on? On this.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a Coke. That's a Coke. Oh, it was a small one though. An 8oz coke.

[Greg Warren]

Dangerous road you're driving down.

[Dusty Slay]

Dusty, I will be honest with you. I sip a Coke once in a while.

[Greg Warren]

It's good.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't drink a lot of them. But a canned Coke really can't be.

[Greg Warren]

Not a diet Coke, a straight up.

[Dusty Slay]

Straight up.

[Aaron Weber]

If, if you're going to have it go full strength.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty, you picked up pepperoni pizzas?

[Dusty Slay]

Beef pepperoni. I don't actually.

[Greg Warren]

What's the logic behind figure if you're going to rob a bank, you might.

[Aaron Weber]

As well kill everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

Real bank.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't trust the diet chemicals.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't even relabeled aspartame.

[Aaron Weber]

Just go sugar man. My grand. My grandma said it'll scramble your brains is what is what you said about aspartame.

[Dusty Slay]

Your grandma gets it. Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I. Pepperoni, yeah, beef pepperoni. I got pizza place my part of town in Hermitage called Salvos. All beef products. They said they have no pork products in the building, so that's pretty nice.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, we used to call Salvation Army Salvos.

[Aaron Weber]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, that was like the cool, cool thing to call it.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, that's what Salvos feels like to me. This pizza place feels like a thrift store. Salvation army of pizza for me. Like I finally can eat free in there.

[Aaron Weber]

There's a. You know I worked at Procter and Gamble.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And there was apparently a laundry product back in the day called Salvo. And it had. It was like a tablet, like basically like a. A tablet. And the first job you would get, they called it field advertising back then you would go, that was your job out of college is you take samples and you go door to door and hang these samples on people's doors. So they. This guy told me, this old guy, he said yeah, we were putting Salvo tablets on, you know, going through this neighborhood door to door. And he said this guy came up to him and he was foaming at the mouth and he was. Yeah, it was like. Yeah, it was like a. He was like a crazy person.

[Greg Warren]

What did he think they were?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know what he thought he was.

[Dusty Slay]

Salvo sounds like you eat it.

[Aaron Weber]

He was foaming at the mouth and he was talking to Jim Beard about it.

[Dusty Slay]

Salvo saliva sounds very.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Salvo was launched in the mid-1960s. It was not successful due at least in part to the failure of the discs to entirely dissolve. Was discontinued in 1974.

[Aaron Weber]

This sounds like a hatchet job.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Dissolved in his mouth.

[Aaron Weber]

This Wikipedia entry sounds like a hatchet job.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

They were coming after us.

[Greg Warren]

This was. Unilever wrote this.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, exactly.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. It sounds exactly like them.

[Brian Bates]

Guys, it's Mental Health Awareness month. So let's encourage everyone to take care of their well being and break the stigma. The world is better when people are healthy and happy. You agree with that, right, Dusty?

[Dusty Slay]

I do agree, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Mental health awareness is growing, but there's still progress to be made. Do you know that 26% of Americans who participate in a recent survey said they have avoided seeking seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment? When people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them. It can impact families, workplaces and entire communities. Therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapists from their diverse network of more than 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Plus you can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. We're all better with help. So visit betterhelp.comnate to get 10 off your first month. That's betterhelp. H E-L-P.comnate great ad read. All right. Wait. Well, that was my weekend. Some shows and a birthday party and get roughed up. But what about you?

[Aaron Weber]

I was at the Grove in Fayetteville, Arkansas, Lowell to be.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I think your picture's on the wall. They painted his portrait on the outside of the club.

[Brian Bates]

Yours too?

[Greg Warren]

No, I'm saying it's Dusty.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Is there anyone else there that's also painted on the wall here at Zany's. Any other comics on the wall there?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Brian Bates]

So you might be the only comic in the country. Has two.

[Aaron Weber]

That's true, man. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's Linda Stogner.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, she's great.

[Dusty Slay]

Greg Morton.

[Aaron Weber]

Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

And cowboy Stuart Huff.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, Stuart.

[Dusty Slay]

And there is some cowboy there. I don't. I don't think he's a comic, though.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that Cowboy Bill Martin?

[Greg Warren]

That's what I thought. I don't think.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think so.

[Brian Bates]

That's an interesting choice of those.

[Aaron Weber]

Those guys are all great.

[Dusty Slay]

They're all great.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I know Linda real well. She's just one of the nicest. And Stewart, too.

[Dusty Slay]

And Greg, a wild set that is so funny and entertaining.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, my God. He's. It's the Star wars stuff. He can do all the different Star wars characters.

[Greg Warren]

Great voices and impressions and stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, hi. Yeah, he's.

[Dusty Slay]

Greg Morton is really great.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he's Canadian, I think, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

High energy.

[Brian Bates]

So you were at.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I was at. I was at the Grove, and. Yeah, I mean, it was one of those sort of in and out pretty quick.

[Dusty Slay]

They'll take you to the pizza place. You go over there.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I don't really eat dairy. Okay. But he did get some ribs brought in for. And he will hook it up. Bill, he called me. He'll hook it up. But a day later, like, he called me, he's like, we got barbecue for you, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Just.

[Aaron Weber]

Just come on. So Thursday night, I was like, hey, Sean, don't eat, man. Bill's got barbecue for us. And I walk in, he's like, we got barbecue coming tomorrow for you. And he did, and it was good. He got. He got some. He got some ribs and then he made some pulled pork. Yeah, it was outstanding. And I really enjoy Bill in that club.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it's great. Northwest Arkansas, I've said it before. Most underrated part of the country, I think.

[Aaron Weber]

Boomtown.

[Dusty Slay]

It's hot there.

[Greg Warren]

Awesome up there.

[Aaron Weber]

It is. It is like Nashville on its way. Like, it's. It's Boomtown.

[Dusty Slay]

Rest of Arkansas, not a lot going on. Beautiful state. Yeah, not a lot going on.

[Aaron Weber]

A lot. A lot to look at.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fayetteville. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. That whole. Northwest Arkansas. Great. The nwa, as they call it.

[Greg Warren]

Call it. They really call. Oh, that's fun.

[Aaron Weber]

I think that's it. That may be the name of the airport, right? Or the abbreviation.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, that would make sense.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. And then. Yeah, Bill. Bill, famously, I guess he did it to you. And, like, he's got this joke about Magic Johnson that goes on for. It's about 13 minutes and. And there is not a payoff. No, he didn't host this time. There was a girl, Marissa, out of Dallas. That was very fun.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

But Bill, he He. He told me he had another joke, you know, and now I called him on it one day. I was like, bill, it's a terrible joke. Like, and I'm gonna tell you why, and I'm gonna tell you. And. And, you know, maybe I won't work here again, but I need to tell you it's not that Magic Johnson joke. There's. There's. There's nothing there, buddy. And so now whenever anybody goes there for the first time, he'll. Aaron will text me and be like, hey, Bill told me you really liked his Magic Johnson joke. Or something like that.

[Brian Bates]

It's.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's. It goes for a while and you're like, well, I'm gonna be nice.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And then I'll get a little reward at the end. It's nothing. It goes down at the end.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's one of those jokes where you don't know if it's done or not.

[Aaron Weber]

So you're like, it's done, man.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, that joke, you don't know when to laugh. You're like, is that it?

[Aaron Weber]

There's no time. There's not a. There's not a place to laugh. Yeah. You can't.

[Dusty Slay]

I've not heard it.

[Aaron Weber]

You don't want to hear it.

[Greg Warren]

I think you. I think you can probably guess.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a. It's a mix of poorly constructed and even a little offensive. It's offensive, right? Yeah, it's no doubt about it. There's all the. There's. It's got a lot of the.

[Brian Bates]

Love it. Dusty.

[Aaron Weber]

All the bad ones.

[Greg Warren]

Something to do with an immune disease.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yes.

[Aaron Weber]

That's in there.

[Greg Warren]

Safe bet.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And this is why Greg's not on the wall, but Dusty is. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Hey, if I got to get on that wall by listening to that Magic Johnson joke again, I'm. I'm just gonna stay off the wall. And I love Bill. I love. And I actually think I've seen Bill get on stage.

[Brian Bates]

There's.

[Aaron Weber]

And. And, you know, he's kind of funny. Like, he's a funny personality. He can't. I've seen him construct some jokes that are, you know, if he'd work at it.

[Greg Warren]

Like, he's got a really good Freddie Mercury bit.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, if you know Bill.

[Aaron Weber]

Bill, really, what are those two have in common? I'm trying to think because. Because magic.

[Greg Warren]

Real specialty magic.

[Aaron Weber]

Magic Johnson wasn't in a rock and roll band.

[Dusty Slay]

Bill really gets into it not being good, though. Like, I bet that's why he likes the Magic Johnson. Joke. He leans putting you through pain and that makes him happy.

[Aaron Weber]

Dusty. I think he. I think he thinks he's sitting on gold with this Magic Johnson joke.

[Greg Warren]

I gotta keep digging and I think it's there.

[Aaron Weber]

No, this is.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm calling. Podcast is over and I'm finding out that James.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. And then two hours later, you'd be driving home and you'd be like, I was. Should have listened to Gray.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I'm there at the end of August. I'll report back. Yeah, if you think by the. By the end of August, this is going to be. This is going to be his hot pocket bit. I think it's coming.

[Aaron Weber]

I got to tell you, I just. I disagree.

[Brian Bates]

Flute man all over again.

[Aaron Weber]

You're going to try to compare Flute man with that Magic Johnson by the end of August.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I haven't heard it. I have not heard it. You know, Flute Man.

[Aaron Weber]

Let me not. I'm gonna, you know, not trying to congratulate myself, but you don't build Flute man in four months.

[Brian Bates]

It was a lifetime preparing for Flute Man.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, that's great.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's awesome. That's awesome.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it was great.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Aaron.

[Greg Warren]

I was out with Nate this weekend. First. First part of his Big Dumb Eyes tour. Duluth, Minnesota. Green Bay, Wisconsin. Peoria, Illinois. And then we were in Fort Wayne, Indiana last night. The first night Nate broke Elton John's attendance record at the arena.

[Brian Bates]

Bill has a joke about Elton John.

[Greg Warren]

Just. Just a crazy weekend, man. The shows are. The shows are so big that it's kind of like comical. How large.

[Brian Bates]

What were the titties numbers?

[Greg Warren]

The shows are. I. I don't. What do you do, like 20,000 in Fort Wayne last night?

[Aaron Weber]

Unbelievable.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, they're just massive. So it was me, Stephen Rogers, Keith alberstadt, and Julie McCullough.

[Dusty Slay]

Hot show.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a show right there.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it was great. Dude. Keith Alberstadt's so funny.

[Aaron Weber]

He's so good, man.

[Greg Warren]

Steven and Julian have done Nateland before. The listeners know. Know them, but Keith hasn't been on here before yet.

[Dusty Slay]

He's one of the best.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He's so good.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It's so polished and it was just fun to watch him every night.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he has, you know, they're very different comics, but he has a little Nate in him and that. He doesn't push hard at all, you know, neither. They sort of let. They have a lot of confidence in what they're saying. They let the.

[Brian Bates]

The audience.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he will just.

[Greg Warren]

He's got a joke where he says it and then he just kind of looks at the crowd for a while. And it's just because I'm up there, those big shows, I'm like freaking out every second. I don't have the confidence to just stand there and. And sit in it. But we had a fun weekend, man. Nate rented out a trampoline park in Peoria, Illinois. So after the shows, we all went over there and just played dodgeball and jumped on the trampoline. I'm still sore. Oh, I mean, that is a workout.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

When's the last time you really jumped on a trampoline? It had been a while, actually.

[Dusty Slay]

All the time. I have a trampoline at home and we go to the trampoline Park.

[Greg Warren]

Park.

[Dusty Slay]

And the first time I went, I was like that. For me, I was so. My entire body was sore.

[Greg Warren]

It'll take it out of you. But they had like a American Ninja Warrior kind of course that you could. You could run through. So just a fun weekend. Those shows were. They're great. I was telling the other comics, it's like, you know, you're. You get off stage, you're like, how are they? You know, you're like, well, they're. It's just degrees of. Unbelievable. How's the 18,000 people at 3:00pm they're pretty good.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

There's about 750 not listening too close. But the other. Yes, 16,000 plus.

[Aaron Weber]

That's true, man. If you can mask that, you can mask. You can mask 4,000 people that don't care for you. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It's amazing. But it was great. So that's where I was. So awesome.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I was off again. I've had a. Had a great birthday. I was off.

[Brian Bates]

I think your birthday was next week.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I mean, birthday party for my daughter. We had a great, great party and it was great. But I'm back.

[Brian Bates]

I met a woman there. He. She said she met Dusty at the trampoline park. So he does go a lot.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, we got a. Membership to the one.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, that's cool.

[Dusty Slay]

And we go. I mean, it's. And then we got a trampoline for the kids. I mean, I want them to be doing stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know what I mean? They need to be moving. So I had a trampoline as a kid with no barriers, nothing over the springs. And then this one has a whole fence around it, and you can't even see the springs. And it's.

[Greg Warren]

I remember when the fences around the trampoline started to show up. Like, that's. I felt like half the fun was jumping from the trampoline to somewhere else.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Or from. I remember my cousin and his house in Montgomery, Alabama. They had two trampolines. Somehow I think they, like, grabbed one off the side of the street, and you could climb to the roof of their house and jump to one trampoline and then another trampoline, and then they had a basketball goal.

[Aaron Weber]

That's amazing.

[Brian Bates]

You could dunk on.

[Greg Warren]

You could. You could dunk on me. After two trampolines, you're pretty high in.

[Dusty Slay]

The air, you know, we had our trampoline at my dad's house, was right up next to a deck and a big walnut tree. So we could get in the walnut tree, jump out onto the trampoline, land on the deck. Well, yeah, I mean, you could. My stepbrothers were bigger than me and they could really do some pretty impressive. They could jump up into from the trampoline, into the tree and grab a limb.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah. But you get double bounced on it.

[Dusty Slay]

But yeah. Oh, yeah. But as a parent, I'm all about the. The fence on the side.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I always made fun of kids wearing helmets, but as a parent, when my kids are riding their little bikes out on the street, I'm like, let's get a helmet on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't want you crushing your head out here. I grew up on a dirt road. It's a little less, you know, a little less painful than a. Asphalt.

[Greg Warren]

Right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I went to trampoline park with my buddy and it. When. When his kids were little. And my. My gig there is I would get like, they do like a move and I'd. I'd be like, hey, can you show me how to do that? You know, kids like four or five.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, and he'd show me, and then I'd do it, and on purpose I'd get it wrong. And then I'd just throw a temper tantrum. I'm stupid. I'm a loser. I'm a loser. And my buddy, like, you're not, man. It's hard. Like, it's too hard. And then I'm like, show me again. You know?

[Greg Warren]

And somebody watching this from afar.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I think that's.

[Dusty Slay]

Kids go home and they go. Adults are really struggling.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. This one guy, mom, he had some problems.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Some real losers.

[Brian Bates]

Recently. I had to pick up some body care stuff, but the scents were all so boring. You know what I mean?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Men's products need more variety. It's the same stuff. Same bland smells.

[Greg Warren]

Boring.

[Brian Bates]

Well, once I smelled Cremo, I knew I had to make the switch.

[Greg Warren]

Everything changed.

[Brian Bates]

It did. Kremo is on the next level. I wish I'd known about this before I got married. I would have just been living it up out there. You deserve freedom from sweat and stink. I may leave my wife. That's how good Cremo is. Cremo's deodorant is designed to provide men with 48 hour odor protection. Products are all barber grade and made with pride, professionalism, and passion to guarantee you quality without compromise. I gave Cremos Palo Santo deodorant a try, and now I'm a customer for life.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it goes on. Goes on smooth, has no residue and gives me the confidence in class I've been craving. I may leave my wife and kids. That's what I'm saying, guys.

[Dusty Slay]

I say put some. All right, now just see what happens. It's mostly dudes here, but let's see what happens.

[Brian Bates]

Well, like Aaron pointed out, you can't split smell, though. If you only had a way to convey the smell.

[Greg Warren]

We wish you guys could. It's tough to do an ad read for a thing that we can't really convey through the podcast medium, but trust.

[Brian Bates]

Us, but they can. They can smell.

[Greg Warren]

It smells good.

[Brian Bates]

It smells great. It's an amazing sponsor because they care about men's.

[Dusty Slay]

I want to leave my wife for you right now.

[Brian Bates]

I care about men's grooming needs, and let's face it, we deserve grooming products from a company with high standards.

[Greg Warren]

I agree.

[Brian Bates]

Head to target or target.com to find Cremo's new line of antiperspirants and deodorants in the Italian bergamot and Palo Santo scents. Once again, that's Target or target dot com. Should we get into these comments?

[Greg Warren]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Comments come From Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and [e-mail] you can give.

[Greg Warren]

Them to Greg on the road too, if you see them.

[Brian Bates]

Yep. Oh, yeah, I don't. I don't bet these, so don't do that.

[Greg Warren]

I was just kidding.

[Brian Bates]

I'll take them.

[Greg Warren]

Okay. All right.

[Brian Bates]

I have no idea what these are. I don't. I don't bet them. So. Okay, we'll just see.

[Dusty Slay]

All right.

[Brian Bates]

Jay Rinsing. This episode was so good. I was laughing so hard and then found myself crying at the end between Dusty's song list and you three talking about your moms and wives. It was so touching. You all seriously have the best podcast. Thanks for Another great episode and for touching this mom's heart.

[Aaron Weber]

All right, thank you, guys.

[Greg Warren]

Thank you, Jay.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you, Jay. I was told I missed a bunch of songs that were on the list.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

Garth Brooks.

[Greg Warren]

Hold on, hold on. Before you read these, you didn't miss any because the list was your favorite songs.

[Dusty Slay]

That is true. Garth Brooks is not on Spotify, so he's never going to be on any of these lists. It's a shame. Shenandoah. Mama knows. I wish I had. I love Shenandoah. I'm not a Taylor Swift fan or a Morgan Wallen fan, so they'll never be on the list.

[Greg Warren]

Those are what. What's the Taylor Swift song?

[Dusty Slay]

Taylor Swift, the Best Day.

[Greg Warren]

Great song. It's a great song, but it's also about her dad and her brother.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

But the Morgan Wallen song is great. You would like it.

[Dusty Slay]

Dan Seals Everything Glitters is Not Gold is such a good song. And I never thought about it being a mom song because, you know, I guess it's a bad mom that left the family. And I know Fancy is too, technically speaking, depending on how you look at.

[Aaron Weber]

It, but I'm not sure there's a way to look at Fancy and make her into a good mom.

[Dusty Slay]

I was just saying that in the end, Fancy turns out to be pretty rich and Fancy. I think her mom was like, listen, she had already make some compromises out here. There ain't no man coming to marry you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I don't know how to show you anything. I mean, kid's gonna starve to death.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

He had a problem with Forrest Gump's mom, who. At least she stepped up and did the thing.

[Dusty Slay]

But you, once you guys, you know, schooled me on.

[Greg Warren]

We turned him on that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I agreed with you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I think she did try to. She had the best interest of her.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And I guess. I guess so did Fancy's mom.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. If Fancy's mom. In the end. If Fancy's mom was also rich in the end, I would say bad mom. But she died like she said she was gonna do.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So, you know.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a different time.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, you're right.

[Dusty Slay]

Only fans. Wasn't around is a different time.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I shouldn't. One thing I love to do, judge fans.

[Brian Bates]

Greg, on social media is you share. Is it essays or letters your mom wrote to newspaper?

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, no, my mom wasn't an author. She was a columnist for a paper.

[Brian Bates]

A columnist for the St. Louis newspaper.

[Aaron Weber]

It's called the Kirkwood Webster Times. It was like a smaller newspaper within St. Louis, and then she reviewed books for the main St. Louis paper for 20 years. But, yeah. Yeah, thanks for reading that. My mom was a columnist, and it was a humor column. And every Mother's Day and her birthday, I try to share one of her columns.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I didn't know it was just those days because I know I occasionally share it, and they're great. She's very funny.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, she was. And I feel I was. I didn't appreciate that part of her when I was growing. You know, I read way more of the columns when I'm older, but, yeah, they are pretty cool. Yeah, she was really good.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Dylan, Burt, Dusty and Aaron should let breakfast talk from time to time. Oh, this is awkward Again. I haven't vetted these.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know, Dylan, we'd love to, but when he does talk, he just insults us.

[Aaron Weber]

It's hurtful, isn't it?

[Dusty Slay]

We have to keep talking just to keep our confidence up.

[Greg Warren]

Brian, we'll let you go for a bit. We'll see how this goes. Don't you have fun for the next few minutes? Let us know what you want us to tap in.

[Aaron Weber]

Go ahead, funny man.

[Brian Bates]

It's getting hot here. All right, you make a fair point, Aaron. Yeah, Dylan would be like, cut him off.

[Dusty Slay]

No, no, no.

[Brian Bates]

Daniel Johnson, as a person who trapped 11 skunks.

[Greg Warren]

Dusty, what did you. I'm just kidding.

[Aaron Weber]

Perfectly executed.

[Brian Bates]

My mic works as well as you guys, right? So I could speak up anytime I want, Right?

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Brian Bates]

Nobody's keeping me from talking.

[Dusty Slay]

You cough sometimes.

[Greg Warren]

Little accountability. That's good. That's a good impression. Yeah, I heard it from over there. I thought it was. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Daniel Johnson as a person who trapped 11 skunks in his backyard last summer. Well, sounds like you got your own problems, Daniel.

[Greg Warren]

11.

[Brian Bates]

I can't understand why bad smell baits wouldn't let Dusty set some traps. Sounds like Dusty's not only the wisest one, but also the best friend of the bunch. Dusty, thank you for bringing knowledge and friendship to the pod.

[Dusty Slay]

She is, Dan. Daniel gets it, man.

[Greg Warren]

I don't get the point of. What do you mean?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, it just is showering me with.

[Greg Warren]

You wouldn't let Dusty sit.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, Dusty.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, he offered to come over and set.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Well, that is a very nice thing to do.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Why didn't you want him to do that?

[Brian Bates]

Well, I don't really want Dusty at my house if I can help. I saw his traps in his house.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Underneath the house, though.

[Dusty Slay]

I got a raccoon. I got a trap. I'M just. Because it keeps getting in my trash.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

The raccoon lifts the lid, gets in there.

[Greg Warren]

You got hands.

[Dusty Slay]

Throws my trash all over their yard. Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

They're wild.

[Brian Bates]

Dusty is a good friend.

[Dusty Slay]

Thanks. Daniel Johnson. Thanks for.

[Aaron Weber]

Hey, man, I gotta say something real quick.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, sure.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm gonna get hammered by people that listen to this podcast and my podcast, the Consumers. I said I was a man of the people and that's Sean. He goes by. He. The. The listeners make him the man of the people and I'm stealing his. And they're gonna.

[Brian Bates]

That's true.

[Aaron Weber]

And they tend to just. They're gonna not leave it on the people.

[Dusty Slay]

Working man. It seems I got hammered on. I got the things.

[Aaron Weber]

I got hammered on that.

[Brian Bates]

Remember Working man.

[Dusty Slay]

Your thing there though was so funny.

[Aaron Weber]

I got hammered on that hard.

[Brian Bates]

What did they say?

[Aaron Weber]

Dusty Slay worker man. Netflix. Dusty Slay is a working man. Yeah, I got. I got it.

[Dusty Slay]

I get it.

[Greg Warren]

Missouri kid.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So I'm not the man of the people.

[Brian Bates]

Darren Parrish. Brian, you are probably getting all kinds of advice on your skunk problem, but I would be glad to share what I did. If you have a way to send talk radio or a podcast loudly under the house, it should drive the animals away. I set an amp very close to the vent that runs under the house and let left it on while we were at work. Well, I love this idea. Just all I gotta do is just run an amp underneath there, turn on our podcast, maybe my stand up set.

[Dusty Slay]

And do your stand up set. This podcast is pretty good. Hang around.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Just do Easy out playing over and over on a loop.

[Aaron Weber]

I can get old Bill to record his Magic Johnson. You will not have raccoon problems. You won't have a wife or a family, but either but.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I do have somebody out there. Professionals out there. They've been there all day today.

[Greg Warren]

Nice.

[Brian Bates]

They did find baby skunks underneath.

[Greg Warren]

Wow. What'd they do with them?

[Brian Bates]

Well, they're still there.

[Greg Warren]

You're gonna keep any pets?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Have the spray removed.

[Greg Warren]

De gland them, whatever it's called.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I mean, originally he was like, we'll trap skunk in the trap. Be done. And then he came back and he's like, well, got a problem. We got babies underneath there and they're not going to come out. Get in the trap. So we're gonna have to manually go under and get them and there's a chance they're going to spray. So.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I'm glad you didn't let me do it, then.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's what Rue said. So that's. What's the latest?

[Aaron Weber]

I thought I was bad with the black mold. You're like, good luck with all that. Yeah, baby. Skunks.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Under my H Vac.

[Aaron Weber]

They're not gonna. They're not gonna kill them, are they?

[Brian Bates]

I don't want to know what they're gonna do with them. I just think that they relocate them into a nice wooded area.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe they take them out to the woods. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Take a. Take them on a trip to Belize. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bates]

There are guidelines. The Tennessee Wildlife Resource Association. You can't just.

[Greg Warren]

You can't kill a skunk.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think so. I don't know. I don't know.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, that'd be top of the list of things. It's like, all right, you can kill him if you need to.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know, but maybe.

[Aaron Weber]

Can you see the hearing on that?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, maybe.

[Aaron Weber]

What did he do?

[Dusty Slay]

They'd probably read off some scientific name in the trial.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That way the judge wouldn't know that it was a skunk, and then.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he'd figure it out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Hold on a second. Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

The mephitis. Mephitis.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. And then if the skunk is at the trial, they're going to start. If they'd been listening all this talk radio, they're going to have some very, very distinct views on the American political issues.

[Dusty Slay]

Comes in like, Alex Jones putting chemicals in the. There's nothing funnier to me than an Alex Jones rage clip.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, of him just being.

[Dusty Slay]

I follow an Instagram channel. It's just Alex Jones. Yeah. And I think it's hilarious.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I don't. I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

I love to watch the guy yell. I'll send you something. No, I'll change it.

[Aaron Weber]

No, do not.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not saying. I'm not saying. You're gonna like him.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I am not gonna. Like. The.

[Dusty Slay]

Raging is pretty funny.

[Brian Bates]

Do you think Pippy Lew would. Would f. Fly today? Do you think that would.

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I was just thinking about.

[Aaron Weber]

Because it was. Towards the French.

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

Or the woman.

[Brian Bates]

Toward the cat.

[Dusty Slay]

He was aggressive towards the womanizing women.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah, he was.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I don't think that's probably gonna.

[Brian Bates]

I need something like that to get the TWR on my.

[Aaron Weber]

I need to go take a look. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Guys.

[Dusty Slay]

What he's doing to my cat.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I got a video.

[Brian Bates]

Bijorn Johnson, I think it's born. What?

[Dusty Slay]

Bjorn Johnson's on The list Bjorn.

[Brian Bates]

Not Bajorn.

[Aaron Weber]

But, yeah, Bjorn. You were kidding around, right?

[Dusty Slay]

I wouldn't know how to pronounce Bajorn. Was definitely not right.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, well, I'll wait. I looked immediately at Aaron to see if that was right, and he didn't respond. I think he thought that's.

[Aaron Weber]

I took the bait. I took the bait, man.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought you were doing it, just letting you fly.

[Brian Bates]

No, I was serious. Yeah, you're right. He's. He's. Let me do my thing.

[Dusty Slay]

You talk.

[Brian Bates]

I'm hanging myself here. Had the genuine pleasure of seeing Aaron and Nate in Duluth, Minnesota. Aaron, you absolutely killed it.

[Greg Warren]

Yes, sir.

[Brian Bates]

Nate killed it. Got to see Dusty in St. Paul, Minnesota. And he crushed as well. Hot show. Waiting for biscuit baits to come here. Well, keep waiting.

[Aaron Weber]

Where's that?

[Brian Bates]

Minnesota.

[Aaron Weber]

Minnesota. There's got to be some sort of benefit for somebody.

[Brian Bates]

There's a lot of lakes up there, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Somebody for something.

[Greg Warren]

There's got to be an orphanage.

[Brian Bates]

Kirby Puckett foundation, something.

[Greg Warren]

Let me ask you this. Is there a difference between crushing and killing?

[Dusty Slay]

I heard it, and as you were reading it, I like to think that maybe he just wanted to. To switch it up.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. But I. I did the Moon Tower.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin. The first night I was on a showcase called the Killers.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And then the next night, they took me off a showcase called the Crushers. After I did there, it's like, I think we found your ceiling. You can kill. Yeah, you can't quite crush.

[Aaron Weber]

You think there was a meeting, like a committee, like. Well, I mean, he's definitely a killer.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I was thinking, I will say crusher killer. That St. Paul.

[Aaron Weber]

Crusher killer.

[Dusty Slay]

That St. Paul show I did recently.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It was hot. I had two locals, Eli Hino. And now I can't think of the other guy's name. And I hate that I've even said now. But he's so good. It was so funny. Yeah. Such a great show, that guy. Yeah. I'm blanking on his name, and I hate that I'm doing it. But this is live. We're doing it live.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, man. That's what. That's what happens.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

All right. Well, can you. Way to go, Aaron, for killing it.

[Greg Warren]

It's the 17 year anniversary of that clip, by the way. Today we'll do it live. The Bill O'Reilly.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Another great clip of a guy freaking out.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, we'll do it live. We'll do it live.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Casey Kasem lost his mind on. On one, too.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, I haven't seen that.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah. Chris Berman had a great one.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, really? During the NFL draft, Tommy Lasorda had my favorite one. What is that, Dave? I cannot.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I mean, it's. Yeah, yeah. Just basically, they asked Dave Kingman hit. I think he hit three home runs. And they asked him, some guy. I was like, what'd you think of Dave Kingman? What I think of Dave Kingman? Guy hit three, you know, expletive home run, and then he just wouldn't like it. Was guy asked me what I think of Dave Kingman. I'll tell you what I think about Dave Kingman. The guy hit three home runs. Dave Kingman in three home runs. The guy hit three home runs on us. That's what I think of Dave Kingman. He hit three home runs.

[Dusty Slay]

James Stanley. Sorry.

[Aaron Weber]

I hit three home runs.

[Greg Warren]

Send me those pictures earlier.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Remember at the beginning, I'd already sent him.

[Greg Warren]

I know. I was kidding.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

Because you're behind.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, James Stanley in St. Paul, Minnesota, Minneapolis, very funny comic. I didn't want to not have. Say his name. I'm sorry.

[Brian Bates]

Dave Kingman, great home run hitter. Struck out a lot, but he could hit some monster shots.

[Aaron Weber]

He was. Yeah, probably hit about 220. Yeah, well, yeah, like actually now he. Probably back then, he probably was like 240 or 250, which now is not so bad. But yeah, he was the first guy that was just all power. All power strikeout all the time.

[Brian Bates]

Played on a bunch of different teams.

[Aaron Weber]

Mets mostly. Right.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. But I think it was the Cup. All right, well, move on.

[Aaron Weber]

But seems important to me.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I saw these guys.

[Greg Warren]

So it happens when me and Dusty sit out for a bit, we start digging through Dave Kingman stats through the back of Dave Kingman's baseball card.

[Aaron Weber]

And I'll tell you, the. The baseball card stats aren't even the most interesting. The. Yeah, the other stuff, that's when you really get into the.

[Greg Warren]

I like that.

[Aaron Weber]

The metrics. The new metrics. Yeah, that's. That's a podcast right there.

[Greg Warren]

What is OPS plus? Let's get into that.

[Aaron Weber]

The advanced metrics is where it really gets interesting.

[Brian Bates]

Brooke McLeod Smith. I love that Roll Tide commercial. I think it's pretty accurate when you're wearing a Bama hat or shirt. For as long as I could remember, my dad always said roll tie to anyone wearing anything Bama. I now say it, too. If I see someone wearing something representing Bama.

[Dusty Slay]

See, I agree, I agree. But what I was saying Was. I think everybody was doing it before the commercial. And then when the commercial came out, like more people were doing it. And I think it's like when you have a cool thing and then it gets overexposed. It's now. Now it's a thing you're doing because you saw the commercial.

[Greg Warren]

They're doing it ironically because of the commercial.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. But it is. It is funny, though. Like the commercial. You're right. It got like that hump day commercial where the camel was like. That was funny. And then I think it got to where everybody was like, they. People were doing too much of it.

[Brian Bates]

Now, Aaron, we both point out a commercial last week that we hated, and we were saying maybe it was at. And t. I think it was all state.

[Greg Warren]

Oh. So I'll say it's usually okay with commercials. What a good hands, people.

[Aaron Weber]

Or is that.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that the Mayhem Man State stand.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Are you in good hands?

[Greg Warren]

That guy?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, the guy from.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I like the. The Mayhem man.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he's great.

[Dusty Slay]

He was the Mayhem Man. Should be a supervillain in a. In a. In a.

[Aaron Weber]

In Oz, I think Prison show on hbo.

[Greg Warren]

The actor. Not as. Not as the Allstate Mayhem.

[Aaron Weber]

No, they had him as the Mayhem Man. Typecast was a very, very serious prison driver.

[Dusty Slay]

Keeps breaking everybody out of jail, causing mayhem.

[Aaron Weber]

It was. It was now later seasons. It definitely took a turn.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't like that. I like. You know, and this is. You're gonna think it's because I have a problem with the peanut butter people, but Reese's. That guy that's like, the voice. Oh, what does he say? Like Reese's. It's a guy that does, like. He's, like, real sarcastic, but there's no. There's no writing underneath it. He just says think things like. Like Reese's.

[Greg Warren]

I haven't seen that.

[Aaron Weber]

You've seen it.

[Greg Warren]

Have you seen those Cracker Barrel commercials lately?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, last week, Dusty said, who watches commercials?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Now every time I turn on the TV, he's on.

[Dusty Slay]

15 seconds is the new length. That's where it's at.

[Brian Bates]

ESPN shows it a lot.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what you want. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You don't have to share this with me, and maybe you're not allowed to, but. You getting any perks from Cracker Barrel?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I. You know, the manager of Cracker Barrel that we filmed it at was already a fan. I mean, I think, you know, that's already my demographic.

[Greg Warren]

I think we're interested in bigger things than that.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm saying you.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't care about, let me be honest. I don't care one bit about friendship.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm saying, like, are they letting me get free?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Well, just.

[Greg Warren]

Did you get a free ball with a weasel tail attached to it? Something like that?

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't ask. The corn muffins, rock candy, they paid well.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

And I feel like they were like, you know, you buy all the stuff you want with this money.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

From our store.

[Greg Warren]

You buy all the Amy Grant compilations that you'll want.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But I mean, they got a lot in that store.

[Dusty Slay]

I, I mean, I want them to let me do a commercial where I just talk about how good their chicken and dumplings is. I mean, that's what I'm into.

[Aaron Weber]

The corn muffins, I would say, is there is for me the, the, the best thing going over there.

[Dusty Slay]

I think you get chicken and dumplings with a side of hash brown casserole. And the corn muffins, there's a decent.

[Aaron Weber]

Green beans are awful good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know anything about the game, the peg game, you guys?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, we did a little social media. I think there's going to be some of those coming out. We played the peg game. I competed with someone. We tied.

[Brian Bates]

Is that commercial show showed as much in Maine as it is in Tennessee.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know how many cracker barrels.

[Brian Bates]

Are in Maine, but is it based on. That's what I'm asking.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I'm just curious.

[Aaron Weber]

You'd have to talk to a media buyer or something like that. Well, Florida, I bet you Florida has more cracker barrels than anywhere.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, zero cracker barrels in May.

[Dusty Slay]

I can tell you what a lot of people from Opelika have been texting me about the cracker barrel commercial.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, this one is saying by 2022, there's one in Maine, zero in Vermont, Wyoming, Washington, Alaska and Hawaii.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I'm about to go to Vermont soon, in a couple weeks, so I'll talk to him.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that Florida? Florida's in the lead.

[Greg Warren]

Florida's in the lead with 60.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

51 in Tennessee. We're. We got good numbers.

[Dusty Slay]

The headquarters is right here.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Brian Bates]

My hometown of Lebanon.

[Aaron Weber]

I, My little league baseball team's got a benefit down there. I think a couple.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I've done shows there. My eye doctor just changed my, my, my contact prescription because I couldn't stay. You know, I was very, wasn't very near sighted.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

And she said, all right, we'll fix that, make it better, but your far side is worse. So that I Can read that. Those numbers, but not easily. Now, I used. Last week, I could have read that easily, and now I can't.

[Aaron Weber]

I need to confess something. I've been looking at Aaron's laptop, and it didn't occur to me that it was up there.

[Greg Warren]

The big TV world.

[Aaron Weber]

I've been. I've been like, trying to. That's why I was asking how many in Florida.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you probably got a better view right here than.

[Aaron Weber]

No, that's beautiful. That's real nice.

[Brian Bates]

And I'm getting glasses.

[Greg Warren]

Can you get bifocal content?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's. Man, there's a. The way you got to put them in. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It's not easy. It's. I may start wearing glasses in the pod.

[Greg Warren]

You never invented bifocals.

[Dusty Slay]

Benjamin Franklin.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Isn't that neat?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Hey, you know who was able to make the office chair swivel?

[Greg Warren]

Thomas Jefferson.

[Aaron Weber]

How'd you know that?

[Greg Warren]

I've seen the Patriot.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that what it was in.

[Greg Warren]

I don't remember. Hold on, hold on, hold on. He's. Mel Gibson's trying to build a chair at the beginning. And then I think I looked it up and Thomas Jefferson invented the.

[Aaron Weber]

The swivel. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Isn't that crazy? How about that, smart guy?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I've been trying to work that into a bit.

[Brian Bates]

So they say. Right. Does he.

[Greg Warren]

Do you have like a chunk.

[Dusty Slay]

They've been existence.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'm doing some chair stuff. I'm going to build a thing on chairs. Do it.

[Greg Warren]

I got a lot of chair stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

You wait. You wait. You wait to see my next special. The Chairman or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

I like that. The Chairman.

[Aaron Weber]

You wait, man.

[Brian Bates]

You wait. I believe you.

[Aaron Weber]

I got. I got about five minutes on chairs right now. And it is hot. There's three of it. That's hot.

[Brian Bates]

Two.

[Aaron Weber]

There's two minutes once you figure out.

[Greg Warren]

The Thomas Jefferson in development.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I figured out the Jefferson joke. That's one of the hot parts.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Got any Magic Johnson jokes?

[Aaron Weber]

No. Bill's got. He cornered the market on those Magic Johnson jokes. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Are you going to bring in cracker barrel rocking chairs just to bring it back to what we were talking?

[Aaron Weber]

I am now.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a great idea.

[Greg Warren]

I feel like that's one of the more iconic American chairs.

[Aaron Weber]

It is. It is it. And I've never walked by one of those chairs and thought, I wouldn't like to have one.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. I want to learn how to crochet just so I can.

[Aaron Weber]

Just so you. Just so you have a reason to be in that rocking chair. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I can whittle in a rock and.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, could do that. You could do that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Is it when you're whittling, is it just making a stick smaller? Are you building something out?

[Dusty Slay]

I think it depends on your skill level. I mean, I think if you. You can't just whittle for the sake of whittling.

[Aaron Weber]

But you're saying somebody's like, hey, I've been whittling and I made this.

[Dusty Slay]

I carved a figurine, a flute or something like that. I think it would be like a figurine that you would put on the mantle special.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Chess piece or something.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe a whole chess set.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. That's a lot of whittling. Yeah. Remember, no.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Brandon Burnett. Bates is the only reason I double B Nate Land. The consumers is no different. Oh, well, thank you, Brandon.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, wait a minute. Bates has only been on.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow, Brandon.

[Brian Bates]

I actually. I actually pulled this from the consumer's comments.

[Aaron Weber]

You're cherry picking comments like that?

[Brian Bates]

Well, when they make me look.

[Dusty Slay]

Brandon Burnett having two Bs and Brian Bates having two B, I couldn't think.

[Greg Warren]

Of anything else suspicious.

[Aaron Weber]

You're gonna do a fake comment, at least come up with a better name.

[Dusty Slay]

Get some new initials.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's fair. Leah Malonez. I've never written in before, but I had to let Aaron know. I think we had the same Uber Lyft driver. Yeah, last February, I was in Nashville and took an Uber downtown. When we got in the car, the smell was disorienting. The worst smell I've ever experienced in my life. To make matters worse, I was five months pregnant, so my sense of smell was heightened. From Aaron's description, it sounds like the same driver.

[Dusty Slay]

So this guy's keeping a job because nobody will give him a bad review? You gotta negatively review that guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Serious question. Do you think you leave him a bad review or do you think you say something to him in person?

[Dusty Slay]

I think you leave a review 5 stars. Yeah, but in that comment section you go, this guy smells really bad and somebody needs to tell him.

[Greg Warren]

But I don't think you're given that option in any of these apps.

[Dusty Slay]

I always get the comments. You can leave a comment left. Yeah, okay.

[Greg Warren]

I've never seen that, but I do it just go five stars. But he drove well.

[Dusty Slay]

He's a good driver, but also was blinded by the smell. My vision was blurry. That's how bad it smells.

[Greg Warren]

Safe driver. It's not enough to stand in the shower.

[Dusty Slay]

You got to do Stuff you have to use soap. Get some crema, you know? Yeah, do something Cremo.

[Brian Bates]

So it was.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, he does the coffee shop. Some coffee too. Either way, put something on there.

[Dusty Slay]

It wasn't just the car. It was some of that.

[Greg Warren]

It was, it was. He was becoming the car and the car was becoming him. It was this. I think I would criticize the car singularity.

[Dusty Slay]

No, no, I, I, I think you go for the guy it was, it.

[Greg Warren]

Was him you go for.

[Dusty Slay]

Cuz if his car smells bad and he doesn't know it, it's because he smells bad.

[Greg Warren]

I remember the old, remember the old urban legend about the guy who became.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, that was true, wasn't it?

[Greg Warren]

Dusty chemically fused with his couch.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah, I think that is true. No bed sores.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, bed sores.

[Dusty Slay]

Get so many bed sores. And as your body starts to heal, it just kind of.

[Greg Warren]

So like where's the line between the couch and the. And the guy. Yeah, that's kind of how it was.

[Brian Bates]

He like grew into the couch.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, he was there so long that he became chemically fused with it.

[Dusty Slay]

He had to be this guy.

[Greg Warren]

Surgically separated.

[Dusty Slay]

He should have had linen. You can't. That won't happen with linen. Apparently you don't get bed sores.

[Greg Warren]

I think if you weigh 1800 pounds and you don't leave for a year, I think you're still gonna soak into some linen. Yeah, I think, I think it's just like.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think it was the 1800 pounds.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know how big he was. I think he was, he was a biggin, that's for sure.

[Aaron Weber]

That's, you know, that's world record type stuff. Yeah, that's Guinness.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

When you guys are in grade school, did you look up.

[Brian Bates]

Oh yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

World's fattest man.

[Brian Bates]

I knew all that stuff.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. We had the Ripley Believe it or not book and then the, the Guinness Book. Yeah, great.

[Aaron Weber]

The guy with the longest fingernails. I remember that.

[Greg Warren]

They curled up.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And the world's tallest man.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Bermuda Triangle stuff.

[Brian Bates]

He's from Missouri.

[Dusty Slay]

I had all kind of books like that.

[Aaron Weber]

He was.

[Brian Bates]

I think so. Or Illinois.

[Aaron Weber]

You had Bermuda. You were looking at.

[Dusty Slay]

I had a bunch of conspiracy books when I was a kid. Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot, aliens, you know, before you could just Google it.

[Greg Warren]

The Yeti. Yeti stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

D.

[Greg Warren]

Excuse me guys, let Brian talk more.

[Dusty Slay]

Voice is wearing out.

[Greg Warren]

Sound like an old car starting up.

[Brian Bates]

Dallas.

[Aaron Weber]

Dwight.

[Brian Bates]

I'm in a country rock band and have some experience in the industry. When Dusty Says the label works with the stations. That's 100% true. And it's why you don't hear any up and comers on country radio. If you think any songs are chosen by popularity or what fans want, you're wrong. It's all money, as usual.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

All right.

[Greg Warren]

Was that. Is that what we were arguing?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Greg Warren]

That songs are chill. What does that mean, songs are chill?

[Dusty Slay]

The labels. The labels take it. Take an artist and they go, we're gonna, you know, we're gonna make you popular. And they just put it out there, and then they just make artists.

[Aaron Weber]

Can they do, like, what comedy did and just, like, go right to the people on the. On YouTube or something?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, YouTube and tick tock and stuff like that does allow for people to do that. And that's. That's why those things are huge.

[Aaron Weber]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Because you can start to make your own way finally, rather than, you know, you know, the labels owning everything.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. What I mean. And when I got into comedy, it was kind of. It wasn't labels. There was, but it was more like, you know, there's some people that just sort of made decisions and.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, the Internet has really opened it up for people to make their own way. A lot of people just put, you know, they just go right to YouTube with their specials, because you just can get the views right away, and then people can just reach you and it's great. But comedy is not the same as music. They really have a stranglehold on music. That's why it's like, there's so many country artists that I like, but I never could turn on country radio and hear them. And if they played them, people would like it.

[Brian Bates]

Jesse Colbeth. Aaron. Can't judge Nate for not watching Shellshank.

[Greg Warren]

What do you want? You're, like, arguing. We're not.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I was thinking.

[Greg Warren]

No one's disagreeing with.

[Aaron Weber]

I was thinking, actually, you made me think. Yeah, I feel bad for these guys.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, there's music, there's musicians that are very popular that have.

[Aaron Weber]

I do. I mean, you try to.

[Dusty Slay]

They have no money.

[Aaron Weber]

Get to go right to the people. There's some country musician that's as good as you are in comedy, and then nobody knows who he is.

[Greg Warren]

You're right.

[Dusty Slay]

And then. And then if you. Sometimes you get signed with a label, they give you a big deal up front, and then you blow through that money, and now you're like, you just owe the label. They're, like, in debt. Even though they're very popular now. You know, obviously, we should be better at managing our money. But, you know, you're. You're young. You move to Nashville, you. You go, oh, I got a hit. I just got this money. I'm gonn. I'm big time now.

[Aaron Weber]

There is that thing, man, that at a few times in my career, I was like, well, I don't need to save this money. I'm gonna be huge.

[Dusty Slay]

Never gonna stop.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm gonna be big.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And then, and then I was like looking in the mirror one day like, I may not. I may not be huge.

[Greg Warren]

I really need that 300 bucks.

[Aaron Weber]

I need to go. I need to start saving some of this money.

[Dusty Slay]

That's why I'm like, this could end at any time. Time. I gotta hang on, I gotta start. I gotta figure out how I can take care of my family even if this ends.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's not gonna end, man. But.

[Dusty Slay]

But I'm just saying I like to, you know, you like to plan ahead. Who knows? There's some record label listening right now being like, we gotta shut that guy down.

[Aaron Weber]

He knows too much.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Me and Dallas Dwight out here blowing.

[Aaron Weber]

The whole thing open.

[Greg Warren]

Attention, this is a public service announcement from your thighs. I'm your thighs for this ad read. Oh, I've been trapped in pants and ignored all winter long.

[Dusty Slay]

I am pale, rubbing against each other.

[Greg Warren]

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[Brian Bates]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

It's a better. Yeah, I think it's a good look.

[Dusty Slay]

I've always said with guys, the shorter the shorts, the better it is.

[Greg Warren]

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[Brian Bates]

Jesse Colbeth. Aaron can't judge Nate for not watching Shawshank if he's never watched Karate Kid.

[Dusty Slay]

That's true.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I always say two best movies. Shawshank Redemption, Karate Kid.

[Aaron Weber]

It's everybody's top two.

[Brian Bates]

I was watching the other night, no Cardi kid.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

And I. I still love. I think it. I feel like it holds up.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But I told Ruth, I said, if. I have never. I grew up with it, though. So I don't know if I'm tainted. Like, if I just saw it now.

[Aaron Weber]

For the first time.

[Brian Bates]

But I think this is dumb. I would be curious.

[Dusty Slay]

One is very good.

[Aaron Weber]

What's your favorite part? What's your favorite quote?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, obviously, it's when he. He. Well, I don't know if it's so much of a quote, but it's that moment where, you know, Daniel has been told to wax on, wax off this whole time. He's painting the deck. He's. He's sanding the deck. And he finally gets frustrating. He's like, I'm just doing your work out here. And then Mr. Miyagi doesn't put his hands up, and he goes, you know, wax on, wax off. And as he's doing it, he's throwing punches, so he's blocking him. And in that moment, he realizes, whoa, this guy's been teaching me karate the whole time. And it. I got chills right now telling you about it.

[Aaron Weber]

Wouldn't it be great if Daniel just still didn't get it?

[Brian Bates]

But what about the work I've been doing?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, but I've been doing all this. I still want to learn some moves.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a great moment where you're like, I just. It's like the music kicks in, and it's just like.

[Aaron Weber]

It's amazing. I think my favorite part is when I don't. You have just things that stick in your head. Maybe it's not my favorite part, but when he was he was asking him when he could learn something, and he was like, after. He goes. He goes after what? He goes after. After that.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, Pat. Is that the guy? Pat Morales Morbido or something? I was watching an episode of Colombo. He was in that. It's just like.

[Brian Bates]

I think he won an Oscar for that role, didn't he? For Mr. Miyagi, maybe he did about that.

[Aaron Weber]

But he was in a movie with Jay Leno.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. There were Cops, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, it was Pat Marie. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But you already know all the. You've heard the Wax On. It's kind of like part of our.

[Greg Warren]

Pop culture in the Zeitgeist, as you like to say.

[Dusty Slay]

It is worth.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I'm sure it's. I'm sure it's great, but you don't.

[Dusty Slay]

Have to do two and three and then the Hillary Swank one and then.

[Greg Warren]

All of Cobra Kai.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't have to mend it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I'm sure it's great. But I. I think Jesse's being a little facetious, but you would have known. You think Shawshank and Karate Kid are even in the same.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Conversation.

[Brian Bates]

When.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, Karate Kid is based. I mean, I had.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, Pat Marie. Pat Morito is basically Morgan Freeman of his time.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Everybody's always.

[Dusty Slay]

And every. Everybody's always saying, yeah, Daniel LaRusso is practically whatever. That tall guy.

[Greg Warren]

Tim.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But you would have known Aaron. If you watch that movie first time. You would have seen it coming. That the whole Wax on, all that stuff he's doing is training him. Because now I feel like there's been other movies have kind of.

[Aaron Weber]

I didn't see it coming.

[Brian Bates]

No, we didn't. In 1984. But it's in the Zeitgeist, like you said. Are you kidding me? I think when. Nate. If you ever watch a Shellshank.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I think he'll see the big reveal.

[Aaron Weber]

This guy's three steps ahead.

[Brian Bates]

Probably gotten this.

[Greg Warren]

I don't think so.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think so either.

[Greg Warren]

With Shawshank, I don't think he's gonna have a clue. I think he's gonna go in completely blind.

[Brian Bates]

I just feel like there's.

[Greg Warren]

I don't think he knows it's a prison movie movie.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

So it's like, I'm excited to see him watch it.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a beautiful movie. It is. It is fantastic.

[Dusty Slay]

So good.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it is.

[Greg Warren]

It's the Karate kid of the 90s.

[Dusty Slay]

You did a video one time where they. Where they put the classical music on for everybody. To play. You did something.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Change the music. Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

What was the music that you did?

[Greg Warren]

I don't. I don't remember.

[Dusty Slay]

It was a great video.

[Greg Warren]

Remember exactly what we did.

[Aaron Weber]

Use the footage from Shawshank.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, I. I went through a phase where I was, like, editing movies and, like, alternate endings.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It was so funny.

[Dusty Slay]

It was really great.

[Brian Bates]

Let's do one more. Mike Terry.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, Mike Terry.

[Brian Bates]

You know Mike.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, every time Mike Terry comes up, we read a lot of his comments. Mike Terry does announcing at the Grand Old Opry and he also runs a radio station on Sirius xm.

[Greg Warren]

Oh.

[Dusty Slay]

So every time this name. This is not him.

[Greg Warren]

Oh.

[Dusty Slay]

But every time it comes up, I go, oh, Mike Terry. He said, I'm not that guy. Yeah, but we've read a lot of Mike Terry quotes on.

[Brian Bates]

Here in Utah, the game jackpot is known as flies up, which I put the camera. Well, I think that's a great.

[Aaron Weber]

What's jackpot?

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I said. I never heard it in my life.

[Brian Bates]

Aaron played it.

[Greg Warren]

It's playground game. You have a ball, you throw it in the air. You assign a point value to the ball when you throw it, and then it's like first person to get to 5,000 or whatever. It's just a game you play on the playground.

[Aaron Weber]

Is the person throwing the ball neutral or is that one of the competitors? Does it rotate?

[Greg Warren]

If you get the. Whatever the amount is, then you become the guy throws it. It's just. There's no real winner. It's just like you're basically just throwing the ball and trying to catch it. But sometimes, sometimes you call bankrupt. And then they catch it, they lose all their points.

[Aaron Weber]

Why would they catch it?

[Greg Warren]

Because maybe they're not paying. You know, they're just.

[Brian Bates]

You say it last second, it.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Or.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Everybody wants to catch the ball.

[Greg Warren]

Why does anyone lose it? Simon says it's like you get swept up in it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Well, flies up.

[Greg Warren]

Flies up. That sounds like a zipper.

[Brian Bates]

I love it. And I'll be at wise guys may 16th and 17th. So. All right. This week, a few weeks ago, we talked about the Revolutionary War. We talked about the First Army Continental army led by George Washington. And next month is the 250th anniversary of the US army being created.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Next month.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

So let's talk a little bit about the Army.

[Greg Warren]

Let's do it.

[Brian Bates]

Greg, you've got a little background in the Army.

[Aaron Weber]

I do, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And Dusty, you do as well.

[Dusty Slay]

I joined the army.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

How long But I. I got arrested before I got to go in.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, really?

[Dusty Slay]

But I did join it. Took the physical.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you just. Just go to a recruiter's office or did he recruit you?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I went. I was, like, trying to get out of my hometown. I was trying to do anything just to have a different life for, you know. And, yeah, went in. I go, hey, I want to join the Army.

[Greg Warren]

Was it be all you can be? Was that the motto back then? Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I was working at Western Sizzling, and a guy, an older guy, came in there, and he just started. He wasn't a recruiter. He was a construction worker. But he just kept telling me these stories of all this fun stuff he did overseas in the Army. And I was like, that sounds fun.

[Greg Warren]

It was pre 9 11.

[Dusty Slay]

It was 2001. Right before, early in the year, there was no war. At least what they were telling us.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I thought, this is great.

[Brian Bates]

Like, American Sniper. That's what got him to go. Well, he saw the war.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I think it's completely different motivations. Mine was, I'm gonna get free college, a little bit of money, and we're never gonna go to war, because who's gonna mess with America? That was my mentality.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

If you'd have gone, what do you think you'd be doing now?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. You know, I had a plan. I was going to be a cook. And so my idea kind of was I get a little money, get a little college, I learned to cook, and then I get out. Maybe I become a chef and open my own restaurant.

[Greg Warren]

Dusty's.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, something. I mean, that's what I was thinking. That was my future plan.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, speaking of restaurants, you want to mention your old place, Hyman's?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, Hyman's, where I used to work in Charleston, South Carolina. Hyman Seafood. They put my name plaque on the table that says. Because they always. When famous people come in and eat there, they would put their name down. It says, so and so ate here.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I'm told mine is on a table with Limp Bizkit and Hulk Hogan.

[Aaron Weber]

Whoa.

[Dusty Slay]

That's very fun.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, all of Limp Bizkit or just Fred Durst.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. Does it. I wasn't there when it happened, but, you know, they. So they put me down, and we all joked that they could have put this plate in the weight station by the trash can. They could have put it on the food running line.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Anywhere. Because I ate all over the restaurant. But that's Fun. And they also did a thing, another thing where they put up my picture on the wall. They do this for people that came in. And so they got a QR code there where you can go watch my waiting tables video on YouTube. And they just took these pictures from my Instagram. This was my last day. And anybody working there, I just took a picture with them.

[Aaron Weber]

That's great.

[Dusty Slay]

But a few of the people, like the guy, you know, second to the bottom on the right, far right is Ed. Oh, I'm sorry. Gosh. Left, far left, second from the bottom. Ed. Yeah. He was the chef for a long time. I don't know if he's still there, but this guy, you know, Hyman's has a gigantic menu and. But Ed could cook anything. Ed was the best. If you ever get Ed to make you an off menu item that he just created, it would blow your mind. Mind. But yeah, it's a hot spot.

[Brian Bates]

So that's, that's quite an honor. Congratulations.

[Dusty Slay]

It is. You know, just to be recognized. Huge. I spent 10 years in high in Charleston, almost 10 of that at Hyman. And Yeah, so it's fun.

[Brian Bates]

That's awesome. Congratulations.

[Dusty Slay]

Recognition from. From, you know, my second hometown.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, some of these people, I. I don't know and I don't. A couple of the people here, I. I still keep in contact with, but.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, you told me just in Colorado last week, you.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Together with some friends from Hyman's.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I just mean these pictures in particular. But Hyman's people are now all over the country. I see Hyman's people all over. I was in Denver. My friend Jessica, she came out with her husband. They're both lawyers now, and they, you know, came to my show and we hung out.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, it's a bit like the army. They did their time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, exactly.

[Greg Warren]

Now they're out in the country.

[Dusty Slay]

We had cigars at a place in Denver. Denver called the Brown palace, which apparently was a very fancy, you know, place at one point in time. Very old and was great.

[Greg Warren]

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[Aaron Weber]

It.

[Greg Warren]

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[Dusty Slay]

Sometimes you got stuff coming out you.

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[Dusty Slay]

So easy.

[Greg Warren]

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[Brian Bates]

All right, so you would have. If you joined the army, you would probably be a chef now. You know, my uncle fought in Vietnam. He got drafted, and he was a cook, and he still, to this day, does the cooking around the house.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Because, you know, they taught him that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So. But then how long after you signed up did you get arrested?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I went to the physical and, you know, I don't. I. I don't know entirely what I can say on the podcast, but when I got back from my physical, my recruiter was. I. He goes, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I know there's a particular extracurricular activity that you enjoy. And so they're gonna. You're gonna get another test in 30 days, so if you want to do that, do it tonight. And that night, I got arrested. And so my court fault, he can't.

[Aaron Weber]

He went home. He's like, no bad mitten for 30 days, so. Read you loud and clear.

[Dusty Slay]

My court date came after my ship off date, so I couldn't go. I could have went. My lawyer was working out this thing where I could go kind of in lieu of probation and all that. Stuff. But I just. One day I just had this weird kind of epiphany, and I went kind of busted into my lawyer's office, and I was like, I don't want to go to the army. I don't want to go to the army.

[Greg Warren]

Army, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So I ended up with a lot of penalties for my arrest. I got quite a bit of probation, quite a bit of suspended license, a lot of fees. I really got hammered.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Had you been training for boot camp up until then?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, it was. I quit smoking cigarettes, and I was running, and I was getting in shape. I was learning my Greek Alphabet and.

[Greg Warren]

Are you still good at that? When?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I don't remember. No, I don't know any.

[Greg Warren]

When you say a number.

[Aaron Weber]

The ranks.

[Dusty Slay]

I was learning the ranks. I don't know anything now, but I was learning all that stuff. I mean, that. This was, you know, over 20 years ago, but I was into it. I mean, I was ready to go. Yeah. I was. Even. Even when we. We went and did the physical, it's like a lot of the guys were, like, drinking and partying the night before, and I was like, I'm not doing that. I'm done with that.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

And then, you know, so then I got arrested for really a pretty small thing. There was no reason to get arrested for this. He could have very easily just called my parents, had them come pick me up, but instead, I got arrested, and then, you know, was an alcoholic for 10 years, so, you know, he could have. You know, he could have spared me something.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So is that how your.

[Aaron Weber]

Mine went? A little different? Yeah, I. I spent the first year of college at the United States Military Academy at West Point.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I went to West Point and did the whole first year. The whole plebe year, and it was the most difficult thing I've ever been. It was crazy.

[Brian Bates]

Well, it's really hard to get into. Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Now, I was recruited to wrestle there. Okay. But I. You know, I think I would have got in. I mean, you know, I had pretty good grades, and I had all the other extracurricular stuff, and it always blows.

[Dusty Slay]

My mind when there's a comic that's very good at comedy but also very good at a sport.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I was. I was good, you know, and not golf. Yeah, yeah. Or ultimate Frisbee or something.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I can see some comics being good at that. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But I understand golf's hard, but I just mean a real physical activity.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. So I, you know, I. I went and it was. I mean, you're in the army. You're. You. You are in the army, basically. I graduated in June, and by late June I was going through basic training up there. And then the whole. I mean, I don't remember a lot about. But I had the whole plebe year, the whole freshman year.

[Brian Bates]

What does plebe mean?

[Greg Warren]

Plebeian.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, plebeian. Yeah, from the Greeks.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, that helps.

[Aaron Weber]

Roman.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you're like a French.

[Aaron Weber]

The lowest level of citizen.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Member of the common people. That's what it meant in ancient Rome.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah. And in West Point, it meant that you were going to get hazed every day and they just. Your whole. And it wasn't like funny hazing like in a fraternity. It was like serious. Just. You had to. I mean, I can't even remember half of it, but I know, like, you had the stand in formation three, four times a day. And when you're standing formation, you're just standing at attention, you know, basically like this. And they're. And then all the upperclassmen just go around and they inspect your shoes to see if they're polished. They inspect your brass to see if it's polished. And they quiz you on all. And you have to know all this stuff. You have to know the New York front page of the New York Times every day and the front page of the sports in the New York Times and you at least be conversant in it. And you can't just tell them. It was like. Had to be reported in a format like. Warren, what happened to the Newsday? Sir, Today in the New York Times, it was reported that Ronald Reagan. Ronald. Warren. Ronald. Are you on a first name basis with the Commander in chief? Warren? No, sir. Sir. Did I tell you to start over? Warren?

[Brian Bates]

No, sir.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, and then. So you had to do that. And then you had to. You had to know all the menus and you had to say them in a certain way.

[Brian Bates]

What menus?

[Aaron Weber]

For what? What? For every meal. You know, the. The whole core ate together in these giant cracker barrels.

[Brian Bates]

Manu. Down the street.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. No, you didn't have to crack your. Okay. And then you had to, like, there was all like, every now and then you had what they like, days, duty or the days. So they would. They were warned. Give me the days. You'd be like, sir. And There was like 30 of them, sir. The days. There are 300 days until graduation. There are 230 days until ring weekend. There are 110 days until army beats Navy at Veterans Memorial Stadium in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh Warren. Pittsburgh. Did they move Veterans Memorial Stadium from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh? Warren?

[Greg Warren]

Did they.

[Aaron Weber]

Who authorized that? Was it your buddy Ronnie?

[Brian Bates]

Is that. Who did that?

[Greg Warren]

Warren.

[Aaron Weber]

Like just.

[Dusty Slay]

It sounds like a nightmare, but also it feels like that's how you really create a team. Yeah, it is all go through the same.

[Brian Bates]

They know what they're doing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yes, they have, have. Yeah, that you are just miserable and the only people you have to lean on are your classmates.

[Dusty Slay]

And they've all gone through it too, or are going through it right now.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. And it, it is like. And there is humor. They are funny. And it didn't seem funny at all when you're going through it. But everything I look back on and some of them are really funny. Like, I remember one time, you know, you're supposed to look straight ahead. Like you're standing attention. You look straight ahead and you know, every now and then if you're just standing there for 10 minutes, you're like, like looking around. So I'm like kind of looking around, you know, and this guy sneaks up behind goes. You looking to buy this place, Warren? Yeah. And then like you, you had to walk along the walls. You could not walk down the center of the hallway. And you had to walk 120 steps per minute. It's called pinging. And you can't just like round a corner. You have to square. I can still square the corner, actually. Yeah, you have to square your corners. And then it's also a hard school. Like, you know, you're taking 18 hours and everybody gets a minor in engineering. You're taking a lot of math and science. So much math and science that when I transferred to Missouri, I never had to take one more math and science class for the, you know, to get my degree. Yeah. And there, you know, you're just, you're always in trouble. And it doesn't feel like, like fake trouble. You feel like I'm, you know, I'm in, in. I'm in real trouble here. And then you would get, you know, your life, you're just so sleep deprived and your life is just all about when can I go to sleep? And it's all controlled until I think Saturday at noon they stop messing with you. And basically you kind of, you couldn't leave, but you could do little activities on, on the base. You know, if you're an upperclassman, you could maybe go to New York or something like that or whatever. But from about noon Saturday till, you know, 5 o' clock or 7 o' clock Sunday night, you could kind of do Some stuff. And they didn't mess with you unless you got in trouble like I did. And then you had to just walk back and forth on. On. On. It's called area duty. You just walk back and march back and forth on the area. And they didn't do a whole nother inspection and yell at you. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

What did you do to get in trouble?

[Aaron Weber]

Bike. This is what was crazy. I like, talking online or, like, you know, like, you know, I. I knew what my friends in real college were doing and not getting in trouble, and I was in trouble for talking online, you know, or something like that.

[Greg Warren]

Or talking in line, like information, you.

[Aaron Weber]

Know, talking like a chat room. Yeah. Not.

[Dusty Slay]

Not that it did make it sound like you were in a chat room.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it was.

[Dusty Slay]

You were like, get me out of here.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's the problem. I need to be. I need to clear that. It was 87. Yeah. When I was there. Or 86. 86 and 87. So, yeah, I went and I wrestled there, too then. I. And I always talk about how hard it is, but I forget that I had, like, my back was messing with me, and I was a little crazy about it. And I think I spent like six. Six weeks or a long time just in the hospital, and they couldn't figure out. And it wasn't. Wow. And. And. And it was like, that was the greatest six weeks ever there that had to do anything I ordered. I figured. I figured out a way to order pizzas. Yeah. It was like. So I did get a break.

[Greg Warren]

Lieutenant Dan. Ice cream. Ice cream.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. It was basically like that, man.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I've talked to Will o' Donnell, our friend and comic, and, you know, me and Will are like the exact same age. And right out of high school, he went to the Marines.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So we had this whole conversation about how we basically did everything in the opposite. And then he had his first daughter at, like, 19. So now he has grown kids.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He's retired from the military, and he's basically, you know, relaxing. Right. And I didn't go, and I, you know, wasted a bunch of time, and now I have very young children, and we just went the opposite direction, you know.

[Aaron Weber]

He didn't retire from the military, though, did he?

[Dusty Slay]

Not retire?

[Aaron Weber]

No, I mean, he. I think he did six.

[Dusty Slay]

He dropped some money, though.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know, man. I don't think so. Like, he. He's got to work. Like, he didn't do the full 20 or whatever.

[Brian Bates]

He told me during basic training, you would go to bed really early, but you're so tired that you can easily go to sleep.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then when they wake you up at 4:30 or whatever in the morning, you, when just your eyes open, you're like, oh, you gotta start again. Like just waking up as the day started. He said he loves Sundays because church. They wouldn't mess with you at church you could go to.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but I mean, he's the Marines, so not. It's not the army. But man, the stuff he was telling me that he went through, like, not even hazing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Just training.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like, oh, yeah, gosh, man, that's awful.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that, that's. Yeah. The Marines is a whole nother level, I think. I mean, what we did, it was a lot of. It wasn't as much physical hazing as I think that you, you get as an enlisted guy in the Marines, but it was. I remember the, the summer basic training, I was pretty quickly identified as a screw up. Like, and there's this guy, Cadet Pulford, that he was a senior and, and his, his, he, he took a special dislike to me or a special interest in me, you know, and he was like always riding me, you know, and everybody like in the whole battalion knew, like, yeah, Warren is always like, he's always screwing up. And then, then you start over in the, in the academic thing. And I was like, all right, man, just. It's gonna be my start over fresh. I'm gonna keep a low profile. Nobody's gonna know who I am, you know. And Cadet Pulford was in my new academic thing and he, I think he even was like, I'm gonna, you know, Warren's getting a fresh start. So the first day you had to deliver the upperclassmen's laundry, you know, their dry cleaning, their uniforms. And I was delivering his dry cleaning. I guess I was dragging his shirt on the floor or something. And he stood in the middle of the hallway and was like, Warren, like just, just at that moment, everybody in the whole company knew my. And they were like, man, this guy, this kid is already has a reputation. How do you make somebody that mad that quick? You know, so.

[Dusty Slay]

And you got to think in your situation, at some point you're like, you guys recruited me.

[Aaron Weber]

There's no talking back. There's none of that, none of that. Like, I mean, I thought a lot, but you there even like, if you did that, you're a dead man for six months.

[Greg Warren]

Like, did you see guys do that though? Did guys ever snap?

[Aaron Weber]

I saw this guy Lissick one time just like give kind of a Look.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

To one of the guys, and his life was miserable for, like, three weeks. Like a different kind of miserable. It was our. Your life was going to be miserable the whole time. But, yeah, from what I understand, they've changed quite a bit of it. It's. A lot of it was. A lot of it was, I think, maybe unnecessary because it's. Especially for an entire year, because it's. It's not that the regular army is not like that. There's a lot of discipline and a lot. But there's just. You got to do a lot of stuff, but it's not. It's more like a job. The regular Army, I think. But, yeah, that was.

[Brian Bates]

So the. The goal of West Point is you're becoming officers.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And you'll eventually oversee the dusties.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'd have been. I'd have been, you know, ordering Dusty around. Yeah, yeah. Slay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You come out a second lieutenant. So you go for four years, and then you owe the government five years after that, you owe them five years. And you can quit. When I was there, at least you can quit anytime up to the first day of school, your junior year. And I remember the first day of school, they were doing their announcements up front, and they're like, juniors, welcome to a career in the military.

[Greg Warren]

Wow. Because they're like, you're in it now.

[Aaron Weber]

You're in. You can't leave. If you do leave or you flunk out or you quit, you're going to do Dusty. You're going to the regular Army. You're not an officer anymore. You're going to pay us one way.

[Greg Warren]

You probably have to retroactively actively pay the tuition and everything, too, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I don't want to drop out.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know about that. And it was like, I got a salary.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, you were you. Not only were you, like, they paid for everything and your books and uniforms and everything, but I got, you know, you got a little bit of.

[Brian Bates]

A little bit of money and I. L deal.

[Dusty Slay]

You ever see the movie Officer and a Gentleman? Yeah, that's one of my favorite movies.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah. Richard Gere, I Got Nowhere Else to Go.

[Dusty Slay]

And Lou Gossett Jr. Yeah. It's one of my favorite movies.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a great movie. Movie.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

So if you'd have stayed, what was your career plans, Man?

[Aaron Weber]

I. It's funny, I think about, like, why did I go?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And honestly, I mean, there's a few reasons. I think it was like, there, I went to a high school. It was a public High school. But a lot of my friends were pretty smart, well off, and they were all like going to these upper crust eastern colleges, you know, and I was lazy and just never really did. I was focused on wrestling. So I was like, I never thought about where I was going to go to school until wrestling season was over my senior year. But I was getting all these calls from West Point, a couple other places, but West Point. I was like, well, this is. And I tell people that. And every adult that you, everybody that you tell about it is like, west Point, that is, you know. And so as a kid, I'm 17 years old, I'm like, well, this is. I win. I beat everybody. This is. I didn't think about whether I wanted to do it or not. The thing I've. I was like, Liz Miller was the prettiest girl in our high school. And we were sitting next to each other in journalism and I said, hey, Liz, I got a call from the, the, the coach at West Point and they want me to go to West Point. She was like, that's cool. That's why I went like that. We didn't go out, like, we didn't.

[Brian Bates]

Do that for Liz Miller.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I like to think that this is the first time you've told that part of the story. And Liz Miller's watching right now going, you did that for me, Greg.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I've met, I've met her husband, you know, and.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, really?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Bobby. They came out to a show.

[Dusty Slay]

But she doesn't know this detail, though.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. I don't think it's going to change anything, Dusty. Yeah. She's a surgeon. Like a renowned surgeon.

[Greg Warren]

Whoa.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah, she did real well. And her husband's a good looking guy.

[Brian Bates]

She should have went to West Point.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it all, it all worked out for Liz.

[Greg Warren]

Thank God for her, this happened.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, she, she's. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And Liz is watching. Like, I said that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't remember saying that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, she, she.

[Brian Bates]

You're leaving. Cool.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Why did you leave there?

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, I think it's weird. I one, I just didn't. I think when you're that young, I was doing the math. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get out of here. When I'm, what, 21? I'm gonna graduate. Then I have to. Five more years. I'll be 26 years old. That's most of my life. I don't want to commit to. I don't want to commit to my whole life. I mean, I was just thinking, I Can't commit to anything for this long. I also, you know, probably wanted. I lived a pretty strict lifestyle, and my dad was pretty strict. I was wrestling, like, you know, it wasn't crazy strict, but I wanted to party a little bit. And I. I. And I also thought I wanted to be a comedian back then. I really did. I remember doing impressions of the upper class, you know, and I was like. And I chickened out, right. I got home, and I got home from West Point, and they were like, what do you want to do? I'm like, I think I'm gonna go to Los Angeles and be a comedian. I was. I think. I don't think I was 18 yet or I don't know what. And I was. My dad was like. My dad was not. He's like, yeah, all right. Well, yeah, okay. You know, I'll give you this amount of money, not much. And let's. And then I sort of got scared. And two days after I got out of the military, the coach from Missouri came to my house and was like, hey, he had dinner with us. And he was like, I want to offer you a scholarship to Missouri. And I sort of, like, my dad didn't force me in that direction, but he sort of was like, hey, if you go this other way to la, like, are you. And I. I wasn't done. I still thought I could be good in college and wrestling, too, but, yeah, I kind of chickened out a little bit. Yeah. But I remember, like, when you quit West Point, you have to go, like, you have to tell your squad leader, and then you have to tell your platoon leader, and these are all, like, college kids. And then you have to tell that. And then you have to go to the real. The officers, the. You know, the guys in the army, and they tell them, like, I had to go through, like, nine people, and they'd all talk to me, and they'd be like, well, you know, we think you're doing okay. You had some. Your grades are good. You screwed up a few times, but I think you can be a good soldier. And I'd be like, yeah, man. Yeah. And they'd be like, all right. I'd be like, I still want to quit, though. You know? And then I'd have to go watch. I'd have to go to the next guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, that stuff's hard.

[Aaron Weber]

I thought I was letting my country down. I. I was.

[Dusty Slay]

I wanted to quit football. I was only played one year of football, one to quit in eighth grade. And I came out of the. I had all my Stuff. And my mom goes, what are you doing? I go, I'm quitting. And she was like, go tell your coach. And then I just went and put my stuff back in the locker and played the rest of the year. Yeah, it's hard to be like, I'm quitting.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And for you to have. And I. I know just from the physical, you have to go. You had to go through so many people talking to them about, you know, substances you might have done, and you had to deny them no matter what. So you would go through several. And then they even. They would have, like, a real mean guy, a real cool guy, a real cool, hot chick who was like, kind of like, hey, you know, it's no big deal. You know, whatever. You mess around with some stuff, you know, just tell us.

[Greg Warren]

But I love a man in uniform.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but you have to just go, no, I've never done it. No, I've never done it.

[Aaron Weber]

You must have looked like a real dirt bag, because I didn't get any of this. Like, yeah, look at that guy. Because I didn't have to do any of that. Yeah, I did. Like, they tested me for color blindness, and I lied a lot. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I looked at the army recruitment website where. For basic training, and it's very tool.

[Aaron Weber]

You can't go in the army, man. But you're doing good with comics. I mean, you're doing a good deal.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's stages 35.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, man. Dude, if I get. If I'm getting drafted, things are bad.

[Brian Bates]

We're not gonna get drafted.

[Greg Warren]

Y' all should go to Dusty's bunker. If I'm getting drafted, things are.

[Brian Bates]

But I did. There's an online quiz you can take to see if you want to do it, what you would be best suited for, which you could. You could do on there if you'd like. But it's very interesting. They. They know the stereotypes about the army and they address them. They're like, is it like the movies where the drill sergeant's making us, blah, blah, blah, And. And then they'll be like, no, it's not like that.

[Aaron Weber]

It is. They yell at you a lot? Lot.

[Brian Bates]

Well, yeah, I know. I'm sure they're just trying to get you in, but. But I think it. Didn't you just say. It's probably died down some from what it was.

[Aaron Weber]

West Point has. I mean, West Point is not. I mean, it's still. It's the whole freshman get hazed. I think if it goes on, it doesn't go on for an entire year.

[Dusty Slay]

There's some stat out there. I couldn't quote it at all, but it's something like a large percentage of people military age are like not physically fit to be able to go to the office Army. It's like, oh, I did.

[Greg Warren]

I remember at the college fair and a high school, the guys at the Air force booth and I walk up and I go, just be honest with me. I don't have any interest in Jordan, the Air Force just looking at me, do I qualify physically? And he goes, nah. And I was like, I appreciate. They had like a little pull up bar that you could. I go, I'm not, I'm not doing that.

[Aaron Weber]

Just ballpark, this is why you're gonna be like a big time. Like, I don't remember having that sort of sense of humor about myself when I was 18 years old.

[Greg Warren]

I think I was 17. I was already accepted into college. I was just kind of walking around.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I think I took myself way too seriously back then. That's awesome.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you were the jock. You were the, you were that guy. You were that letterman jacket.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I mean, I was, I was good at one sport.

[Greg Warren]

You hold kids upside down. Lunch money and stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

No, they, they. That thing has become big on the consumers. Those guys say that I shove people in the lockers. People got warned and I, I mean, there's stuff that we did that I'm not proud of.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, of course. But it's everybody.

[Aaron Weber]

I think I was pretty nice.

[Greg Warren]

Mostly you're talking about quitting football. That reminded me of the story of this kid, this kid that was kind of a not very nice guy. He came to spring training football one year and dude, we were about halfway through. We haven't even started stretches yet. Before stretches, we get in a line and run. You do like high knees for 10 yards and then like we call them karaoke for 10 yards. We're like, this is the pre stretch and he's not having fun.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

He goes, he goes to the coach, this is the first day spring traded. We haven't even got the jumping jacks yet. And he goes, man, coach, man, I forgot my cleats. He's wearing cleats. You forgot your cleats? Forgot my cleats in the locker room, man. He goes, all right, we'll go get them. Never came back. Never saw him again.

[Dusty Slay]

That's exactly what I wanted.

[Aaron Weber]

That's great.

[Dusty Slay]

But this is what did it for me. Opelika is good at football. I mean, we're like a good football school, you know, and this is Middle school, but they hitting drills. They line you up like 10 yards away from Oklahoma, and then you just run at each other and hit. The first time we did it, I was like, that's pretty cool. I like that.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But then I got paired up with a guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, no.

[Dusty Slay]

Rocking me. And I'm like, I. I'm not into this. I want to catch the ball and run a little bit.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not trying to ram other guys. You know what I mean?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I was like, I just want to score touchdowns. Like, I am not into this.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

We call it a meat grinder.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Two. Two and then one with the ball. And you just ran at him. Bull in the ring was banned before I got the high school football.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know what that is, but it sounds like it ought to be banned.

[Greg Warren]

The whole team would circle up, and there's one guy in the middle, and they call a number, and that number would run at the guy in the middle and just kind of.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Bull in the ring. That got banned.

[Aaron Weber]

That should be busy.

[Greg Warren]

Kids were. Kids were getting hit. Anyway. Not to compare. Look, closest thing I have to the army.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I. I mean, the. I remember when you could. There was a time when you couldn't quit. You. You could not quit. I think it was at some point in basic training, maybe the whole thing. And. And I remember there's a day in the middle of basic training where you're allowed to quit, and you. And now some guys quit before that, and they didn't really go after him. They, like, tied bed sheets together and literally snuck out, you know, and that kind of thing, and left.

[Brian Bates]

Left.

[Aaron Weber]

But you could quit. And then it was like, oh, you can quit. And then you just march by. You're out marching, doing everything, and there's all these guys lined up for. Out processing. You just see him.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

And, man, this is a. A cadence that this guy called. As you're walking by, he goes, you're left. You're left. Your buddy just left. They were funny. They were fun, man. The army, it has a. It's a. That sort of gallows humor, but it is. They were very funny. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Has any famous comedians served in the army?

[Aaron Weber]

Shane Gillis went to West Point, but only for, like, I think a week. He was there. One of those guys that quit early. I. I don't know if he. Yeah, but he went to West Point. I don't know. Shane. I met him, like, briefly once. But, yeah, he. He went for a little while, and I think he played football, too.

[Greg Warren]

He went There to play football.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, I. There's a guy named. He. His stage name was Eddie Strange. His name is Ross. And he was before. He was way before me. Very funny guy, New York comic. And he did basically what I did. I think his name's Ross.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but he went by Eddie Strange.

[Aaron Weber]

I think for a while he went by Eddie Strange.

[Brian Bates]

Ross Bennett.

[Aaron Weber]

Ross Bennett. Ross Bennett. Yeah. Ross Bennett. Went to. Went to West Point, like, maybe even a little longer than I did. He might have gone in. He made it. May have gone. There he is. Yeah, yeah, he's a. He's a really funny comic, man.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, he's still around.

[Greg Warren]

Not a guest.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I know.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. It does not look at all like. Yeah, yeah. But very, very, very bright guy. Very funny comic.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I. I can talk about some other. Did you want to do the recruitment, Aaron, or are you out?

[Greg Warren]

I just went through it. I'm already out.

[Aaron Weber]

Question.

[Greg Warren]

Well, question one. I was out. I said, what's your favorite form of physical fitness? Strength training, Cardio, cross training or yoga. I put yoga. And then it's just, how long can you hold a plank?

[Brian Bates]

Oh.

[Dusty Slay]

You'Re like, how big's the plan? You.

[Aaron Weber]

Two minutes. A plank.

[Greg Warren]

Well, this is like a quiz about. It's like a test.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, there were a couple. One of them was about which one.

[Aaron Weber]

Seems like you're lying on some of this stuff.

[Greg Warren]

I'm lying.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, this is the Army. I don't care if you're just even messing around. You can't be lying to the Army.

[Greg Warren]

You're right. You're right.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm sorry.

[Greg Warren]

I'm sorry.

[Brian Bates]

There's three, three components to the US army, the regular army, and two reserves, the Army National Guard and the Army Reserve. So that's just a few weeks a year, right?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Well, I mean, until your country invades Iraq. And that was a problem with the reserves is like, you know who went over there at first was reserve units.

[Greg Warren]

Really?

[Aaron Weber]

So these guys are like, hey, man, I'm. Yeah, I'm in for two, you know, like two weekends a month or something and one week a year and I do this. And then they're like, you're going to Iraq for 18 months. And these were most of them. I went over there and did shows one time. I mean, it's their reserve units over there.

[Brian Bates]

That's crazy.

[Aaron Weber]

That freaked out a lot of people.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, because for me, I want to say I had a three year active duty, and I want to say it was five years in active duty. So basically it was like you're in for three years, and then if we need you within that five, then you'll be reactive, activated. So I thought. Well, I was just so weird about how America was, that I was like, oh, they're never going to need me.

[Greg Warren]

What's going to happen?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, and it might have been 10 years, but I think it was five in active duty.

[Aaron Weber]

I think when you get out of West Point, if you leave after five years, you know, do your five years, you have some reserve.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I think they can call you up for a long time. They didn't for a lot of my friends, though, that got out, you know, after five years.

[Brian Bates]

So army recruitment slogans we've already talked about, the big one, be all you can be, that was from 1980 to 2001.

[Greg Warren]

Was there a jingle attached to that, too? You remember how it went?

[Brian Bates]

Be all that you can be in the army.

[Dusty Slay]

That's right.

[Aaron Weber]

No, he's right. I. At first I thought he was.

[Dusty Slay]

It's got to be a deeper voice than that, though.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah. No, it's. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It sounded like a cheerleader.

[Aaron Weber]

It.

[Greg Warren]

We're gonna drop a bomb on you.

[Dusty Slay]

It sounds like Greg Warren's bit. Be patient. Be, Be, be patient.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a little.

[Brian Bates]

And in that commercial, the guy would say, we do more before.

[Aaron Weber]

That's the one I was saying before. Than you do all day. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Then you do. And that's what made me say, I do not want to. I don't get up till 10:30.

[Aaron Weber]

We do more all. All day before you.

[Brian Bates]

We do more before 9am than most people do all day.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I remember that. That one. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Better not hit up. We got a good army at the army.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I think the. The. The singer was more masculine.

[Brian Bates]

I see.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

I nailed it.

[Dusty Slay]

You did nail it.

[Brian Bates]

Mine's deeper than this guy. Apology accepted.

[Greg Warren]

What is this?

[Dusty Slay]

Billy Joel?

[Greg Warren]

It's getting me fired up, though, man.

[Aaron Weber]

He's.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Totally got Brian.

[Greg Warren]

I gotta. I gotta.

[Aaron Weber]

So sorry.

[Greg Warren]

I gotta say. Say something.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm sorry.

[Greg Warren]

I got a. Maybe the biggest retraction I've ever made on this podcast. I want to completely apologize.

[Brian Bates]

Done, guys.

[Aaron Weber]

But. Okay, now that you. That you.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, I think higher than you were.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I think he might have actually been the guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's a younger version of him.

[Brian Bates]

1982.

[Dusty Slay]

I remember the Marines had the. The Godsmack song, though. It was like. I don't know.

[Greg Warren]

It's good.

[Dusty Slay]

All right, guys. I know it, but it was all right.

[Brian Bates]

So that was.

[Aaron Weber]

Sing it, Bates. The Godsmack thing.

[Brian Bates]

That was till 2001. From 2001.

[Dusty Slay]

2006, something like that.

[Brian Bates]

Army of One.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

That's pretty weak. Compared to be all you can be.

[Aaron Weber]

Be all you can be is 2006, 2018.

[Greg Warren]

That's not. I'm loving it.

[Brian Bates]

Army strong.

[Greg Warren]

Army strong.

[Aaron Weber]

Army strong. Still not be good. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

2018-2023 started off as warriors wanted. And then they changed it to what's your warrior?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Still, man.

[Greg Warren]

This is kidding.

[Dusty Slay]

And then now they're like, come on, guys.

[Brian Bates]

Now they're back to be all you can be.

[Aaron Weber]

It's me.

[Greg Warren]

Come on, guys.

[Dusty Slay]

Come on, guys.

[Aaron Weber]

Just join.

[Dusty Slay]

Just join though. We need you.

[Greg Warren]

The army, please.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. They're just resorting.

[Dusty Slay]

We got a war to start. We need you to get in there.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm loving it. But no, guys, you can't do that one. That's.

[Brian Bates]

Is there a. Greg, is there a movie about West Point or set at West Point, man?

[Aaron Weber]

There was a movie called Dress Gray, I believe that was not about West Point, but it was about, like. It was like, about a. There's these military school. Yeah. About a military school.

[Greg Warren]

Was it a miniseries? Oh, was it Alec Baldwin? Al Holbrook.

[Aaron Weber]

Is that Lloyd Bridges?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, Lloyd Bridges.

[Aaron Weber]

Hal Holbrook's like one of the program.

[Greg Warren]

About a cadet at a West Point, like, military academy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Me. So I remember that watching that and like when I had already. It came out after. Right. Well, okay.

[Brian Bates]

86.

[Aaron Weber]

So the year I was there. But I remember watching it at some point, maybe a rerun with my mom. And my mom was like, I'm so glad you're not there anymore.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You were like, mom, this is pretty light.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. No, and then see, so. So to get in the army to be an officer. Yeah. You can either be rotc. Okay. Or you can be West Point, or you can go to these other military academies that you pay to go to, like vmi. And then what's the one in Charleston?

[Greg Warren]

Citadel.

[Aaron Weber]

The Citadel. You pay to go to school there. Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

I know a lot of Citadel cadets.

[Aaron Weber]

We were always amazed. But like, these kids are paying to get hazed. Like.

[Greg Warren]

Like that's what the guys in the fraternities are doing too.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

There was a bar in Charleston called Big John's Tavern, and they used to have. On the wall. They used to have tons of. Of Citadel cadet bat name plates on there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And then all the Hyman's people started putting our name tags because we were like a little Hyman's army out there. Now that even that Big John's looks good. I mean, they. They revamped it. I mean, it was when I started going there. You could smoke cigarettes inside.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, it was.

[Brian Bates]

You're one year.

[Dusty Slay]

There's no windows at all at Big John's.

[Brian Bates]

Back your one year there, did you go to the Army Navy game?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, No, I. I was. My back.

[Brian Bates]

You can't remember. I was sporty to my back.

[Aaron Weber]

I was in the hospital. I was.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I didn't go.

[Dusty Slay]

Or pizza.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a big deal. I did go to football games. And you have to stand the entire game as a. If you're a cadet, you have to stand the whole game and you're in uniform and. Yeah, those are.

[Greg Warren]

And you're losing.

[Brian Bates]

You know, that would stink if you're 55 to nothing.

[Aaron Weber]

Service academies.

[Greg Warren]

I'm kidding.

[Aaron Weber]

No, they. They weren't the. I mean, they, you know, they played other teams that weren't all that. They weren't.

[Greg Warren]

Sure, sure.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

A few other armies. We already talking about Salvation Army. We mentioned them earlier. KISS Army.

[Aaron Weber]

KISS Army.

[Brian Bates]

Are you a member of KISS Army?

[Aaron Weber]

I wasn't.

[Dusty Slay]

The band.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You heard that? That's the best one.

[Greg Warren]

I saw KISS at Bridgestone. Unbelievable.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

So I think I know many of their songs. You're like, this guy's got some hits.

[Dusty Slay]

I was made for y' all venue. It's a great song. It's maybe the only KISS song I really.

[Aaron Weber]

Beth was the ballad. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

This is how that started.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

January 1975, two guys, two teenage Kiss fans from Terre Haute, Indiana, began calling the local radio station, hounding them to get KISS KISS music played. After being turned down over and over, they begin calling, claiming they're the part of the KISS army. And they threatened to blow up the station.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. So they began to play, and then the fan club just.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not calling for that.

[Brian Bates]

Just. Just grew from that KISS Army. And in 2008, Condoleezza Rice, then Secretary of State, enlisted in the KISS Army. She did.

[Greg Warren]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

CONDI Rice, KISS Army When I was.

[Brian Bates]

In kid in vacation Bible school and we would sing the song I'm in the Lord's Army. Have you heard that? That.

[Aaron Weber]

No.

[Brian Bates]

I like it though it goes. I may never march with the infantry, shoot the artillery, ride with the calvary, but I'm in the Lord's army.

[Aaron Weber]

His Lord's army song was more masculine than. Than the be all you can be song.

[Brian Bates]

That's when I was eight. All right.

[Greg Warren]

Should we mention before we go. I mean, it's been a running joke on this podcast for years about me, about me being a candidate for Pope, and then we get a new Pope, and he's about as close to me as I ever thought we would get.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Born in Chicago.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Crazy. Can't overstate the surprise and just what a wild story that is.

[Aaron Weber]

So nobody saw that coming.

[Greg Warren]

He was on a couple short lists towards the end there, but, like, nobody was putting money in on him. And there's a lot of money being. I was, I was checking the markets.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And not a lot of people were putting money on this guy. So it's a, it's a crazy thing. I mean, we've all seen the videos on a White Sox game.

[Brian Bates]

What if, like, wild is. Does Vegas really have odds?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Brian Bates]

What if one of the car. Vegas got comp.

[Aaron Weber]

You go to one of those Catholic church picnics. There's a ton of, there's a ton of gambling at those things, man.

[Brian Bates]

What if One of the questions. The Cardinals, though, they helped decide, like, got caught placing a major bet and then maybe.

[Greg Warren]

But it's, it's just, it's crazy to see the Pope speak English. Yeah, I know that sounds like such a small thing, but I've, I've never seen a Pope and thought like, they, he used to, he would watch the Chicago Bulls.

[Brian Bates]

He's a White Sox fan.

[Greg Warren]

He was a White Sox fan. I mean, he spent like, he's a missionary in Peru. So he, I, I, I guess I saw some Cardinals say, like, he wasn't even really thought of as a, as an American, but he is American. He was joint citizenship, Peru.

[Brian Bates]

Went to Villanova US he did a.

[Aaron Weber]

Lot in Peru, though. Like, they, they claim him, Right. I heard some guys, yeah, very happy.

[Greg Warren]

I mean, he spent the, probably the bulk of his, like, life as a priest. Priest over there, but just a guy from Chicago. The interviews with his brothers are so great. I don't know if you've seen them. They're like, they were texting him the night before, like, do you watch Conclave? And then they're watching him and he walks out crazy. Imagine your brother walking out like, oh, my God, Rob.

[Brian Bates]

Did they have to address him now as pop leader?

[Greg Warren]

They kept getting asked about that. They're like, he's always going to be robbed of me. And they asked the older brother, like, what are you going to do when you see him? He goes, I'm going to do the same thing I've always done. I'm going To. I'm going to put him in a headlock and say, rob, you dummy. What have you done that. It's just. It's crazy, dude.

[Brian Bates]

That's wild, man.

[Aaron Weber]

I just realized I've been slouching the.

[Greg Warren]

Whole me too podcast.

[Brian Bates]

We all do that.

[Aaron Weber]

I know.

[Brian Bates]

I just thought it was a good crack.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know if you heard that.

[Brian Bates]

All right, let's get into some shows we're doing. Yep. This weekend, I will be in Salt Lake City, Utah. Wise Guys Comedy club Saturday show is getting close to be a sellout, so.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, look at that.

[Brian Bates]

If you wait last minute, you might not get tickets, but then come to. To check. Come to Friday show. But anyway, Friday, Saturday. I love Wise Guys. I love Salt Lake City. It's going to be a great city. Great club.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a fantastic club, man. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yes. Let's work.

[Aaron Weber]

Ton of fun. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Great people.

[Aaron Weber]

Can I just. Can I just plug the special and stuff?

[Greg Warren]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Can I do that?

[Dusty Slay]

Do both?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I got. I got a comedy special out this Friday on Nateland. It's my second special with Nate. It's called the champs, and pretty happy about it. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

How has it been since.

[Dusty Slay]

Prequel to the chairman.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long you Laugh it up, man? Wait till you see some of these chair jokes, man.

[Greg Warren]

I believe it.

[Brian Bates]

How has it been since the salesman.

[Aaron Weber]

Awesome. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Now, how long has it been since that. Your last.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, right, about two years.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, that's pretty.

[Greg Warren]

That's great.

[Aaron Weber]

Right? About two years.

[Brian Bates]

Special.

[Greg Warren]

Amazing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Two years later.

[Greg Warren]

Well, it's.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, Nate's putting them out every. Every. Every six weeks.

[Brian Bates]

He's about every two years.

[Aaron Weber]

No, he's about every two years. Yeah, but it's.

[Brian Bates]

That's awesome.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's.

[Greg Warren]

Well, the first one's beloved by the Nateland world, and you're everybody's favorite guest, and we're excited to see the special, man.

[Aaron Weber]

Bates was on the Consumers saying that Reno Collier passed me up, and I'm a big Reno fan, and, you know, I'm okay with that.

[Dusty Slay]

Reno's great.

[Brian Bates]

Yep.

[Dusty Slay]

He's pretty awesome, to be fair to you. It was one appearance by Reno. You've had several, so there's more to judge.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, let's see. Let's.

[Greg Warren]

You brought it, like, nine times.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Let's see what Ren Reno does on his side.

[Dusty Slay]

And I love Reno, but he's trying to be fair to you here.

[Aaron Weber]

He's.

[Dusty Slay]

He's a lot of appearances. Love me on my first appearance, but there's a Now There's a dump dusting guy.

[Brian Bates]

Well.

[Aaron Weber]

Greg, you were on that guy. Was. He was on you the first. First episode, I think.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You're on episode 99, peanut butter and potato chips.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that was a fun episode.

[Brian Bates]

People still often say my favorite episode ever. And then the next week, number 100 is when we announced Dusty is.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh yeah, man.

[Brian Bates]

And we have him covered up. So there was a. People like, is it Greg? Is it Greg?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, but.

[Dusty Slay]

And then they were pleasantly surprised. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, guys.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That was sincerity.

[Greg Warren]

I like what we're doing.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So yeah, I got a special out.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, that's awesome.

[Aaron Weber]

Thanks to Nate, that Nate produced the whole thing. Nate and Adrian and Abigail and. And thanks to. Thanks to all them. It was. It took a lot of work and I'm pretty excited about it.

[Brian Bates]

Shot in Columbus.

[Aaron Weber]

Columbus, Ohio.

[Brian Bates]

Yep. And what shows you got coming up?

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, you know what? I'll be at the Irvine Improv on May 21st. That's in Orange County.

[Brian Bates]

Nice.

[Aaron Weber]

So I think it's a Thursday night. Maybe a Wednesday. Wednesday night. Wednesday night.

[Greg Warren]

Aaron Weber here this weekend, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at the Live Casino. One show only. One night only. Come on out if you're in the Pittsburgh area. And then later this month, I'm doing two shows in South Bend, Indiana. One of them's almost sold out. We added a second show, that one not even close to resembling sold out. So two shows in South Bend, you come see me. And then Fort Wayne, Indiana, Summit City Comedy Club, June 1st.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Friday night I'm in Portland, Maine. My second time only going to Portland, Maine, but I got a show selling pretty well. Pretty excited about it. And then Saturday in New York City. My first official show in New York City. I've been there many times to do late night, but my first Netflix special. And a Netflix special. Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, you shot that in.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, no, my half hour for the stand ups.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Shot in New York a bit. A bit of co times. It was a weird.

[Greg Warren]

I was there, it was wild.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. But this is my first official show at the town hall. So I'm talking about it not being sold well. But to me I'm excited that the amount of tickets that we've sold already, that we've sold them because you know, who would ever thought I'd be doing a theater in New York City?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, man, you're playing New York City.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm very excited. So I don't. If nobody else buys tickets, those people that bought tickets. We're gonna have a great time.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think other people on my team will be as happy about it, but, but I'm very, I'm very happy.

[Aaron Weber]

I'd like to see a few more of you, you know, Come on out.

[Greg Warren]

Come on out, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but I, you know, I'm just, I've done comedy shows for much less people than have already bought tickets.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah. So you staying in like a pretty sweet hotel in New York City?

[Dusty Slay]

I just, you know, I stay right around the hotel and are right around the venue. I'm, I, I like a, I'm a Courtyard Marriott guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I like, they're nice. Stayed in one a couple nights ago.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't try to get fancy with a hotel.

[Aaron Weber]

I'd like to see you get a little fancy in New York City next time, man. Like, do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's New York City, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but I'm just there one night.

[Aaron Weber]

So it's like maybe staying extra night or something, you know? Yeah, yeah, it's New York City.

[Brian Bates]

Well, Greg, thanks for coming, man.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, thanks a lot, guys.

[Brian Bates]

Thanks for fun, everyone out there. Be all you can be, be, be.

[Aaron Weber]

That was six octaves lower than you sang it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it was. Be all you can be. Like a GI Joe. GI Joe.

[Aaron Weber]

Like a, like a boy band or something.

[Dusty Slay]

BJ's out here.

[Brian Bates]

All right, guys, thanks. See you next week.

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[Dusty Slay]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this spring. Refresh your spring personal care Items and earn 4 times points on all your favorites when you shop in store or online.

[Aaron Weber]

Earn 4 times points when you shop.

[Dusty Slay]

For items like Pantene shampoo, Gillette Fusion, five razors, Secret body Spray, Always Pads, Loves diapers, Pepto Bismol and Nervive Nerve Relief cream. Then use your rewards for discounts on groceries or gas.

[Aaron Weber]

Offer ends May 20th restrictions apply.

[Dusty Slay]

Promotions may vary.

[Aaron Weber]

Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.