270: #270 Youth Sports feat. Jay Flake

Summary

The Nateland Podcast – Episode 270: “Youth Sports” feat. Jay Flake (Sept 17, 2025)

Host(s): Dusty Slay (hosting for the day), Brian Bates, Aaron Weber
Special Guest: Jay Flake
Main Theme: Youth sports—from the perspective of comics who grew up playing, have kids participating, and, in Jay’s case, referee multiple sports.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the world of youth sports: the culture, cost, pressure, parental intensity, and how the systems are shifting—often not for the better. Special guest Jay Flake, a Nashville comedian and active referee in multiple youth sports, shares behind-the-scenes insight on officiating, sports parents, and his own kids. The hosts also give updates on their comedy careers, peppered with signature banter and memorable tangents.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Welcoming Jay Flake & Nateland Showcase News

• Dusty introduces Jay Flake as an up-and-coming Nashville comedian and road mate with Aaron.
• Jay’s Nateland Presents Showcase premieres Friday night (Sept 19th) on the Nateland YouTube channel [02:45].
• Aaron explains why Jay’s a regular on the road: “Very funny, comic fun. Hang off stage... You're going to see how funny he is this episode.” [03:22]
• Jay reveals his favorite team is Notre Dame, not out of Catholic pride, but “I just got NBC. That was all that was into it. It was like every Saturday they was on TV.” [04:04]

2. Comic Banter About Sports Fandom

• Discussion over Jay's Cubs fandom due to their frequent TV coverage, plus reminiscing about Harry Caray and 7th inning stretch traditions [04:14–04:31].
• The crew gently roast each other on team gear (Vanderbilt, big logos, fan-gifted hats) [05:02–05:39].
• Brian: “Vandy had a big win over South Carolina... Vandy's 3-0 and they're 20th.” [06:13]

3. Waning Interest in Sports

• Dusty admits he watches less sports these days: “I just feel like, I don't know, maybe as the season goes on I'll get more into it.” [06:23]
• Parental responsibilities cited as a reason for less time and shifting priorities. Brian adds, “Now, just those days of old—squeezing in if I'm home...” [08:55]

4. The Dark Side of Youth Sports & Parental Mania

• Jay discusses being a referee for basketball, baseball, and football (ages 5–high school/college level).
• Basketball is hardest—“instant call” pressure. Football's easiest but wild: “Saturday morning, a parent told me I was fat...and my wife really doesn't love me, so I take it out on children...” [68:21]
• Increasing parental hostility and the epidemic of travel sports stress. “Parents are kids in youth sports,” says Jay [68:47].
• Jay can and has ejected parents: “If I tell you to leave, just get away from everybody and I'm fine. But if you yelling...it's like, all right, just, just leave.” [85:59]
• Insults don't usually land: “We laugh at it. The good ones, man, we really could care less.” [93:16]

5. The Cost & Lifestyle of Youth Sports

• Gear, equipment, and “travel ball” are overwhelming—Jay details essentials and rising costs: “Cleats, turf shoes, backpack, two bats, infield mitt, outfield mitt...for a good one, it's $300.” [106:53]
• The financial burden and its effect on family time: “There's nothing like going on vacation...but it is stressful...a money game as well.” [69:13]
• Brian reflects on farm work and moral dilemmas (“Did you ever have a moral dilemma growing tobacco knowing what it can do to people?”) [56:43]

6. Officiating: The Inside Scoop

• “The perfect game is nobody even notices that I was there.” [71:13]
• Tech is pushing refs/umps out: “Fifty years from now, maybe there won’t even be umps and refs in sports… It’s possible.” [84:41]
• On partisan crowd pressure: “If they think they're on you, the rest of the day they're on you.” [80:23]
• Notable fun fact: In Tennessee, “If I got my shirt on and you put hands on me, it's a felony.” [74:07]

7. Hilarious Tangents: Travel, Airports, Niagara Falls & More

• Travel gripes (rental cars, TSA at Jackson, MS): “She said, 'have a seat. It’s gonna be a while.'” [13:29]
• Niagara Falls plans and why it's “romantic” or maybe just “extremely loud” — “There's a lot of water out here...I don't think, oh, I'd like to really kiss my wife out here.” [29:01]
• Fast-food theft confessions: “I stole from Winn-Dixie once...I never even chewed it. I just kept it in my pocket.” [46:10]

8. Comics on Stage—Long Sets

• Dusty brags: “I did an hour and a half both shows...I’m breaking my own record almost every time.” [20:33]
  His philosophy: “I want to do all my jokes...everybody paid money to be here. Let's give them a show.” [21:12]
• Aaron jokes: “Call your babysitter...Hour 15. Still going.” [22:57]

9. Movies & Youth Sports Media

• Ranking top “youth sports” movies:
  • Baseball: Sandlot, Bad News Bears, Rookie of the Year [111:51]
  • Basketball: Hoosiers, Coach Carter, Teen Wolf [112:53]
  • Football: Remember the Titans, Friday Night Lights, Little Giants [116:48]
  • Hockey: Mighty Ducks
  • Other: Karate Kid
• Debate over which movies feel real as adults vs. kids. Aaron: “Now I go, God, this is such an over-the-top, cheesy moment.” [117:18]
• Bad movie physics: Watching a Disney basketball scene where “five seconds” lasts a minute [86:57].

10. Comments from Listeners (Key Moments)

• Many welcome Dusty back, “the fun, eccentric uncle everyone loves…” [31:11]
• Health/morality debate: “As a doctor, it is wild to me that Dusty...so pro tobacco.” [33:05]
• Parental nostalgia: “I remember when I started working in a hospital in 1987—they let patients smoke in their rooms.” [43:23]
• Workplace ethics: “I struggled serving a lady fried catfish every Friday, knowing we were probably contributing to her early death.” [56:43]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jay Flake, on outlandish parent insults:
  “I was just told Saturday morning that I was fat...A parent told me that I’m taking it out on the kids... and my wife really doesn’t love me.” [68:21]
• Dusty Slay, on waning sports fandom:
  “I just feel like...as the season goes on, I’ll get more into it." [06:23]
• Aaron Weber, on long comedy sets:
  “Call your babysitter—hour 15. Still going!” [22:57]
• Jay Flake, describing ref mentality:
  "The perfect game is nobody even notices that I was there." [71:13]
• Dusty, about romanticizing Niagara Falls:
  "Honestly, I don’t know why it would be romantic. I just think there’s a lot of water out here. I don’t think, 'oh, I’d like to really kiss my wife out here.'" [29:01]
• On sports films:
  “The Sandlot is the one that gets me romantic about baseball in a way no other movie does for kids.” — Aaron [111:55]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Jay Flake intro & showcase plug: 02:12–03:45
• Sports banter (Notre Dame, Cubs): 03:44–04:31
• Waning sports fandom: 06:23–08:17
• Rent-a-car airport drama: 11:46–14:36
• Longest shows/Dusty’s comedy philosophy: 20:59–22:37
• Youth sports culture, abusive parents: 65:16–75:48
• Exorbitant costs of youth sports: 106:11–108:06
• Automatic umpire/ref, future tech: 84:34–85:21
• Best youth sports movies (debate): 111:44–118:12
• Listener comments (various): 31:05–64:59

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Tone & Style

• Laid-back, irreverent, observational, often self-deprecating.
• Jay brings dry, lived-in humor from his “other life” as a referee.
• Hosts riff and banter, often gently roasting one another, but always supportive.

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Final Notes & Upcoming Shows

• Jay’s “Nateland Presents” showcase premieres Friday, Sept 19 on YouTube.
• Aaron and Jay head to Phoenix, AZ and Denver, CO (“Black and Mild” tour).
• Brian is in Parigul, Arkansas (competing with Nate, who’s in Little Rock).
• Dusty plays Reading, PA, and Wilkes-Barre, PA; also at Zanies, Nashville Sep 30.

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[Suggested for new listeners or anyone who missed: This episode is a funny, revealing, and sometimes surprisingly raw look at both youth sports and the wild characters orbiting the games from childhood onwards—on comedy stages and in the bleachers alike.]

Transcript

[A]

You can make a difference in someone's life, including your own, with a job in home care. These jobs offer flexible schedules, healthcare, retirement options, and free training. They also provide paid time off and opportunities for overtime. Visit oregonhomecarejobs.com to learn more and apply. That's oregonhomecarejobs.com okay. Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome to the N Land podcast. My name is Dusty Slay, and I will be leading the charge today, and I'm excited about it. I want to get five seconds in.

[B]

You're not even introduced yet.

[C]

That's like. You ever see a comic that wants a drink but just can't get a laugh big enough to take the drink?

[B]

If you're listening and you're like, what happened? Did it pause? No, Dusty's already taken a drink.

[A]

Oh, that's how I like to do a podcast. I like for people to go, did this thing cut off?

[B]

Yeah, I do that.

[A]

And I'm here with my co host, Brian Bates, as you know as breakfast, the most important meal of the day, as I like to call Brian. And then we have Aaron Weber here with us, the yard ball enthusiast who has really gotten sponsored by yard ball now. And then our special guest, with a special coming out soon, please give it up for Jay Flake.

[D]

All right, all right. How's everybody doing? We have night time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, That's Black Dusty Slay.

[D]

You have an eye.

[B]

Black Dusty.

[A]

And we're. We're pumped. We're all pumped to be here.

[C]

Jay's very funny comic in Nashville, first time on the podcast. Welcome in.

[D]

Thank you, guys. I'm glad to be here.

[C]

If you've seen me on the road for the last year and a half or so, Jay was probably with me. He's been doing shows with me all over. So excited to finally have him sitting in on. On Nateland.

[A]

Andy has a Nateland showcase. Nateland presents the showcase. Is that what.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He has. You have one of those coming out this Friday?

[D]

This Friday, Yeah.

[A]

I just got all this information. I knew that you had one coming out, but this sheet was just handed to me as we begun, literally a.

[C]

Second before we started recording.

[A]

So let me just read it. Nateland presents The Showcase, Season 3. Tune in to the Nateland YouTube channel for the premiere of Jay Flake. His showcase premieres this Friday night, September 19th.

[D]

That is correct.

[B]

It was handed to you, right, a second before, but you decide when the show starts. So you could have read it ahead of time.

[A]

You guys would have allowed that.

[D]

You're right. People Were a little impatient.

[B]

Now, Aaron, what is it about Jay that makes you like him enough to take him on the road for you with a year and a half. For a year and a half, man.

[C]

I might need to take a sip of water real quick. No, Jay is great. Very funny, comic fun. Hang off stage and I think you're going to see. You're going to see. How funny is this episode.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that a boring. I mean, what do you want? Terrible answer, right? His Q score is high. What do you want me to say? I don't know.

[A]

What's a Q score?

[C]

I don't really know.

[B]

Let me ask you this, Jay. Who's your favorite college football team?

[D]

Notre Dame.

[C]

Oh, there you go. That's a big part of it.

[B]

And I bet it came out a year and a half ago when you're like, no, Aaron's Notre Dame.

[D]

I'm a Notre Dame fan.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[D]

He'd been knowing I was a Notre Dame fan before then. I forget. We had to talking about college football like three or four years back.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And I mentioned it and whatever. And he was like, you're Catholic. I was like, no, I just got NBC. That was all that was into it. It was like every Saturday they was on tv.

[B]

It used to be the Braves and the Cubs when I was a kid.

[D]

I'm a Cubs fan too, because of the same reason on TV all the time.

[A]

Cubs was on during the day. I used to get to watch them.

[C]

Wgm.

[A]

That was fun. With Harry Cary back.

[D]

Yes, sir. With the big glasses.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fun.

[D]

Love some Harry Car.

[A]

Yeah. Little take me out to the ball game. 7th inn and stretch. Take me out. It was fun.

[D]

It was. It was a good time.

[A]

All right, I'm just going to read these real quick because it's very short. We are taping Ryan Hamilton's Netflix special. Two shows Oct. 4 at the Neptune theater in Seattle with. We have some tickets left. November 4th, Nate has a full weekend of big dumb eyes shows in Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri and Arkansas. Check out the tour vlogs on The N Land YouTube channel. Good deal. Okay.

[B]

Cool, cool, cool. You see I'm wearing Vanderbilt.

[A]

Yeah, you. You had a huge logo on that shirt.

[B]

Coming from a guy wearing that hat.

[D]

Right.

[A]

This.

[B]

Give me a. You like a tourist. You like Eddie Murphy coming to America when he first shows up?

[A]

His hat was given to me this weekend by a fan.

[B]

Well, I hope so.

[A]

I think it's a good looking hat.

[D]

I mean, you show up in New York with that hat on. He's definitely getting robbed. Definitely not from around here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think it's a great hat.

[B]

Well, I think it's a great shirt.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Huge logo.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, huge.

[B]

Well, Vany had a big win over South Carolina.

[C]

Yeah, man.

[B]

Like to point out Vanderbilt, Alabama, Auburn, Georgia Tech.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

John, Christine, Missouri, Greg Warren's team all ranked higher than Notre Dame.

[C]

Wow. Wow, that's cool, man.

[D]

That's where we was going with this.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Outstanding. We'll see how long that lasts. We definitely see how long that last.

[B]

Funny thing is, it's like, what is Notre Dame ranked? 23rd.

[C]

24Th, I think.

[B]

24Th.

[C]

02 and A ranked 24. That has basically never happened.

[D]

That speaks a lot.

[B]

Vandy's 3. 0 and they're 20th.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Just barely ahead of you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But pretty cool. All right, well, that died.

[A]

But I've really not been watching sports, so I don't have a lot to add to it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I feel like I'm out now. I don't know what happened out on all sports. I feel like it.

[B]

Well, last week you were all excited about Auburn.

[A]

Well, I was excited about being there, on the campus, being around. Everyone was very nice to me. I was excited about it, but I just feel like I'm kind of like, I don't know, maybe as the season goes on I'll get more into it.

[C]

It's week four. You got time.

[A]

But I just feel like in previous years, I'm like, I'm, you know, I'm like ready, you know, couple weeks before week one, I'm like gearing up. I'm excited, you know.

[D]

Well, the last. This last week has been exciting when it came to football breakdown. It's been some exciting games.

[C]

Yeah, a lot of great games.

[D]

Yeah. Bass named out some upsets that messed up a lot of parlays out there. Yeah. Especially mine.

[A]

It's just college football.

[D]

College football and NFL.

[A]

Upsets in college football. Now it doesn't. It's like what's even an upset now? Like, we don't know.

[D]

Even South Carolina.

[B]

Yeah, but it's actually blowing them out.

[A]

When. When Vandy beat Alabama last year, it's an upset, but now it's like South Carolina's never good, so.

[B]

But they ranked 11.

[C]

They ranked 11. They thought they were going to have a good year. This is. I don't even disagree with the point you're making, Dusty, but I. I just remembered after you said the super bowl was boring the year that it went to overtime.

[A]

But going to overtime doesn't. I mean, to me, doesn't make it exciting. I mean, if you're. If there's nothing going on in the. Each team scored a touchdown, but yet here we are in overtime. It isn't necessarily. It just means it's longer and they get extra ad revenue. Dragging it out doesn't make it interesting.

[C]

That's fair.

[D]

I don't think any team goes into it thinking, you know what? Let's just drag.

[A]

Well, I think the.

[D]

Another 30 minutes.

[A]

I'm just saying. I'm not saying I'm against anybody watching it. I'm just saying something in me feels like it's switched over and I'm just not as into it now.

[C]

But you've probably gone through periods of your life. I know I have. Where you're in and out of things. Right. You care more about it this year than you did the year before and vice versa. Like, maybe you'll be back.

[A]

But I just feel like it's been a gradual each year, like I'm just less. And maybe it's because I have, you know, I have two kids now and I'm like, I don't know. I just. It's. There's less time to just watch it.

[B]

Yeah. I used to spend all Saturday, all day in front of the TV watching college football, and now just those days old, squeezing in if. If I'm home, you know, I get even less time. The best chance I get to watch games on the road in my hotel room before the show. But the Tennessee Georgia game, you know, I'm like, this is great. I'm going to get to see the end of this game. Then he misses that field goal, he goes overtime. And I had to leave to go do the show.

[D]

Let me tell. I had to go do a show. And when I walked out the door, he was lining up for the field. So I didn't even know what happened to like an hour and a half. You couldn't even wait for him to kick it. I had to go. Like, I really.

[B]

He was already.

[D]

I was already pushing it as it was. I was like, I gotta get out of here.

[C]

He's lined up for the field goal and you won't wait for the snap?

[D]

Nah, I was out of there. I had to go.

[B]

Were you opening for Aaron?

[D]

No, no, no.

[B]

Say, this guy's a stickler.

[D]

No, no, no, no. Well, I was taking my wife with. She wanted to go too, so you know how they go. Oh, come on, you're going to be late. It could be a wreck. It could be this. It could be.

[B]

I'm like, J, I'm wearing this white sucks hat because. Oh, yeah, gear cups. Sorry. Couple weeks ago, I was in Chicago. Our friend Adam, who's a fan of the podcast, works for the White Sox, got me tickets to the White Sox game. Now, the White Sox last year was the worst team in history of baseball, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

This year they're still the worst team in the American League. But not only did they win that game against the Yankees, they've been on a heater since I've been to that game.

[A]

So. Aren't the White Sox supposed to be coming to Nashville?

[B]

There has been some talk about that over the years, yep.

[C]

But we're definitely getting a team. I think it'll be an expansion team, but, yeah, the White Sox are one. They've been so bad lately. That's one of the ones that gets thrown around this. They might move somewhere else.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

It was discussion with the A's before they went to Vegas. And, yeah, the White Sox been going back and forth, but they would change.

[A]

The White Sox name. Right? It wouldn't be like the Nashville White Sox.

[C]

I think I'd like that. I think they probably would. Would change it, but I like the White.

[A]

So, Tennessee. Would it be Nashville or would it be Tennessee?

[C]

What about Music City? Oh, the Music City White Sox.

[A]

Oh, that's pretty fun. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I think you can call it whatever you want.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Right? I mean, Tampa. Tampa Bay. Tampa Bay is water. We could call it the Cumberland River.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, I guess that's a fair point. So say. I think it's always the city or the state, but I guess that's true.

[C]

We get the Rocket City Trash Pandas.

[B]

Minor league.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Huh.

[C]

We could do.

[A]

Where's that at? Huntsville.

[C]

Huntsville. Yeah. We could have fun with it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Where were you at this weekend, Brian?

[B]

This weekend I was in this. Brookhaven, Mississippi, at the Brookhaven Little Theater. First time there. Great show.

[A]

Oh, with Vince.

[B]

Yeah, My friend Vince Fabric.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know Vince.

[A]

Yeah, I know Vince. Yeah.

[B]

Some people last week thought I was serious when I asked you if you knew him.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

They were at your Huntsville show that we were both on, and they're like, what, you just met. You were with him last week. I was joking. Yeah, I was joking, but with Vince Fabra. Great show. A lot of folks came out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was trying to think of anything crazy that happened, but not really. Just a good show and good time.

[C]

You had a good time at the Jackson Airport?

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Tell us about that.

[C]

I've Never flown in and out of Jackson before, so.

[B]

Jackson. Yeah, Jackson, Mississippi. The airport was actually maybe a little bit bigger than I expected, but I got there. And first to go get the rental car. And I always check in ahead of time on my rental car. They always do all the information online. So you're supposed to be good to go. You know, I don't even know what that means because it's just like going to the doctor. When you fill out the forms ahead of time, you just fill them out again when you get there.

[C]

Well, you can go straight to the lot. You can go straight to the lot some places.

[B]

I guess it depends on the car company.

[D]

Right.

[B]

This was dollar doesn't do that.

[A]

Dollar is the name of the company. Yeah.

[C]

Dollar.

[D]

Dollar Rental car.

[B]

Yeah. Me and Jay know. Yeah, we don't make the big bucks yet. Watch speak for Jay.

[D]

But, no, I don't.

[B]

Then every rental car place. Say, mine was dollar. You go over the dollar. If you. If you're getting a car from Thrifty Herz, everyone go to this one person. Yeah, yeah, that's available. So then you get in line, you get up there, and she's like, have a seat. It's going to be a while.

[C]

She said, have a seat at the counter.

[B]

She said, you can stay in, but I would sit.

[A]

All you're doing is dropping off the car.

[B]

No, I'm picking it up.

[A]

Oh, you're picking it up.

[B]

I just got there.

[A]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I waited an hour.

[A]

Yeah, Enterprise. You can go right to the.

[C]

Right to the lot.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. All right. Sorry.

[D]

I learned that being on Ro. And he was. I was standing at the. I'm standing up there waiting on him. He's like, but I'm already outside. I was like, yeah, yeah. It's a different type of rental place, what I'm used to.

[A]

She said, it's gonna be a while.

[C]

She said, have a seat.

[B]

So it was an hour. And she called me up there.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

To get my car and not just me waiting. A lot of people are waiting. Everybody's frustrated. And I said, are you guys short staffed today? She goes, no.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And I wanted. I almost said, so y' all are just incompetent.

[A]

And.

[B]

But I didn't say that. I said, okay. So it just takes an hour, I guess. And she said, we have to wait the cars come back, then they have to check them to make sure they're good or whatever. She acted like it was just a car shortage.

[C]

Yeah. Also, it sounds like that's a unique problem to that airport. Yeah, no, that's how every airport's doing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, we got to get the car back and clean it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[D]

Check it out. That type of thing. Clean.

[B]

And then yesterday, flying back, there was one guy in the entire airport, One TSA agent checking everybody's ID for the entire airport. And there's two lines. There's general boarding, and there's TSA PreCheck, which I think clear was also. Maybe they don't have clear there. I don't.

[A]

I would think not.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

So it's one guy. I doubt it. Yeah.

[B]

I didn't see any signs for clear. So there's general boarding and TSA precheck. I'm TSA precheck. It's moving. The guy's only acknowledging that the general board, he's just totally ignoring. And they're just. Everybody's just standing there. And about the time I get through, I hear some guy yell like, dude, you can't just do this. This is not fair. You're not gonna. We've been here a lot longer than them. He's like, I'm just doing my job. And then they said, we're gonna miss our flight. And people are just getting outraged because there's just one guy he's just ignoring most of the people.

[A]

Be rotating it. He should be, but maybe even like, two pre check to one.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

One of each still gives a preference to pre check, I think.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, right. I don't know. I would say two pre check, one general boarding. That's what I'd say he was.

[D]

I would agree, totally. General boarding.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I love that. I love it. It was when you got through that they were like, all right, this is enough.

[D]

That guy.

[C]

That guy. Yeah.

[D]

We don't even believe he got prejudice. Check him out. But never mind.

[B]

Come on. Him.

[D]

That remind me, the first time on a road wearing. We went to Ketchikan. Y' all remember that?

[C]

Ketchikan, Alaska.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

They had one guy. I didn't have pre check at the time. Aaron did. They had one guy, and he was like, everybody in the same line. Like, his pre check didn't even matter. He was like, pre check. Get back there with him.

[C]

The Ketchikan airport, their security is just like, hey, just walk through this hallway. Yeah, you're good.

[B]

I like that.

[C]

They kind of just look at you and they go, yeah, he looks good.

[D]

You know? You know, you go to a place where people know. You be like, I know him. Come on.

[C]

Yeah, they know everybody coming.

[D]

Oh, Carl, where you Head.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I got down. That's basically it. There was no AC in the airport.

[A]

So it was so hot in Mississippi.

[D]

Geez.

[B]

I got down to my gate, and they have these TVs everywhere, you know, just showing, like, I don't know, the History Channel and whatever. And I said, hey, this is. Since it's the Nashville gate, would you guys mind putting on the Titans game? And they're like, ah, we can't find the remote.

[D]

No AC in the airport.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

In Mississippi. Yeah, I know it's a black woman humming in the corner somewhere.

[B]

Well, I wasn't gonna say anything. Yeah, you're correct.

[D]

With a church fan.

[B]

Actually. She was my Southwest agent.

[D]

Like the sweet tea honey. Yeah.

[B]

So that was my weekend. What about you guys? Oh, you missed the Tennessee Georgia.

[D]

I missed that. I. I had. I had the headline at Joker's Comedy Club in Clarksville.

[A]

Clarksville.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

All right. D.J. pryor there.

[D]

Yeah, D.J. pryor was there.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

He actually hosted the whole thing.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

So we had a great time, man.

[B]

Yeah, I've done that. That's great.

[D]

So, as you know, you know, Clarksville is really about 45 minutes away from here, but that club is about an hour and a half. So that's why I had to hurry up and get up out of there, because.

[A]

Okay, why is it so far? Like, it's like.

[D]

It's, like, deep on the other side of Clarksville.

[B]

Okay, that's funny, because the exact same thing happened to me. Alabama, Tennessee game last year when I did it, and that game went, like, really close, too. And I. I had to hit the road for jokers, man. Didn't get to finish the game. And I'm in my car, like, is this worth it?

[C]

That's a game where Tennessee won and they tore the. Yeah, yeah. Wow, that was a big one.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's almost like the only book they look at the college football schedule and go, all right, we'll book them on what are the best games of the year. Let's book them on that. I was in Denver, Colorado, with Nate. Three shows at the ball arena where the Nuggets play.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Pretty crazy. That's pretty crazy, Nate. As you know, if you listen, Nate flew in from la. He was rehearsing for the Emmys all week, did the three shows, immediately flew out after the shows, and did the Emmy. So natal. When Nate's back, I'm sure we'll hear more in depth, but he was doing that. It was just a crazy weekend. A lot of chaos, which was kind of Fun. The shows were like, Denver, such a good comedy town. We were talking about it, like, I don't know the shows there.

[A]

It is a good comedy town. Really good.

[C]

And I'll say this. I. Jay and I will be at Comedy Works in Denver next week. We plugged the show on stage. That show sold out. We just added a show at Comedy Work, so there's still. There's still a chance to. To come see us next week. That's a hot Denver area. Sure is, ma'.

[D]

Am.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Sure is super fun.

[C]

A lot of Nate's, but Joe List came by. Rory Scoville was there. Luke Null, who's with. Not Luke Null, Luke Monas, who is with Joe Lis. It was just a fun weekend. Fun hang. So I'm sure we'll hear more about the Emmys and stuff when Nate's back. I'm going to get the inside scoop on.

[B]

Yeah. And Leanne Morgan, also on the Emmys.

[C]

Leanne Morgan was there. James Austin Johnson was in that intro sketch. There's a lot of. A lot of Tennessee.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Going on there. What about you, Dusty?

[A]

Where were you at? I went to Binghamton, New York, on Friday with my friend.

[C]

Sorry, that sounds like Brian's tour with my.

[A]

Well, Bill.

[C]

I know, but it's very nice. I know.

[A]

That's where my friend Bill Lake is at. He opened for me and sounds like.

[B]

A guy that would open for me.

[A]

Yeah, Bill's great.

[C]

You go, nah, Bill's good.

[A]

And. And a fan gave this hat. Very good hat. Quality hat. Very thick.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And then.

[C]

Is that bedazzled?

[A]

I don't think it's bedazzled. It's got some beads. Got some beads on it. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of work. Went into this house and I. And then I went to Buffalo, New York, on Saturday. Great shows. Buffalo. They were both very good crowds. The Buffalo crowd was really great. And then I did an hour and a half both shows. So I. I'm breaking my own record almost every time.

[C]

So are you going in with it with the goal of doing that, or is it just you're getting more comfortable?

[A]

I don't know. I'm kind of at this place where I'm like, I'm doing one show a night. I'm not getting as many reps as I'd like to get.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm like, I want to do all my jokes. All my jokes I'm working on. I want to make sure I do them in the show. Yeah. And then I Feel good. You know, the hardest part, starting the show, once you're up there and you're going, I'm like, let's just go with it. It's one show. Everybody paid money to be here. Let's give them a show.

[B]

I love that last week when you did hour and a half, you're like, well, you know, Auburn, that's basically my hometown, guys. Of course.

[D]

Yeah. New York, Buffalo.

[A]

Once I realized I could do it, I mean, in Binghamton, I even missed a chunk. I was riffing a bunch. Yeah, I missed a chunk of my jokes. And in Buffalo, I didn't riff as much, but they were such a great crowd, so into it. So, you know, they gave me, like. I went out and they. They cheered, and then I was like, all right. And then they gave me a second applause, and I don't really get that. So it's very nice.

[C]

As soon as that happened, you're like, man, I'm giving y' all two hours.

[A]

Yeah, well, it is like, yeah, Well, I want this show to be good. Now. They seem very happy to be. So I need the show to be good. Yeah.

[D]

So usually, do you just do an hour before then?

[A]

Well, I was like, at a club, I'll do an hour. But, yeah, I mean, I've been. I started doing, you know, an hour 10, and then it slowly moved to an hour 20. And then in my kind of a hometown show, I did an hour 30, and then I was like, I can just do that now.

[D]

Do you see a big appreciation from. From the people when you do more than an hour?

[A]

I think so. I mean, I see people mention it sometimes online that they were, like, you know, impressed that I was on stage for so long.

[C]

Are you giving updates on your time throughout the set? That'd be funny. You're like, just hit an hour. We're not even close.

[B]

Call your babysitter.

[C]

Hour 15. Still going.

[A]

They used to say, like, you know, George Carlin, Bill Cosby, like, comics, like, old school comics, like, that would come out. No opener. Do two hours.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. I don't know that I want to do no opener, but I.

[B]

But you do the two hours.

[A]

I'm doing two hours. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I mean, I'm like, you know, yeah.

[C]

I don't want to do no opener. I do like the idea of my opener doing five minutes.

[D]

And that's crazy. Hey, bud, I'm doing two hours and 30 minutes a night. I need to go up there and just say my name and come back. Exactly.

[A]

Exactly. And then you can just go home. You do the five and then head home.

[B]

You can beat a Chattanooga by the time Dusty gets off stage.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

That's what I'm talking about.

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

It is great, but it was great. Super fun. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, comedy's fun.

[B]

Okay, y', all, we gotta talk about something I didn't know I cared about until it changed my life.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

My wallet.

[A]

Wow. Whoa.

[B]

Now listen.

[A]

Big money.

[B]

Before Ridge, I was carrying around this big, bulky leather situation.

[C]

Huge wad of cash.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. To look like it had been passed down from my great grandfather.

[D]

It actually was. I've seen it.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry, Jay. You're a guest. It was lumpy, crusty, held together with hope. And I'm pretty sure it was responsible for my lower back pain, which you guys have heard me talk about because I was sitting on it like it was a throw pillow. But then I found Ridge and I gotta tell you guys, I am obsessed. Look at that, Jay. Look at that.

[D]

That's nice.

[B]

My Ridge wallet. Open it up there. Look at that sharp stuff.

[C]

Just pops right out.

[B]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. It holds up to 12 cards plus cash, and it's about. And it's made with these crazy high quality materials. Aluminum, titanium, even carbon fiber. They've got over 50 colors and styles. Plus Ridge backs it all up with a lifetime warranty. This is literally the last wallet you'll ever need. That was. It's probably gonna be the last wallet I'll ever need anyway.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But even for young guys, like, you're never going to need another one. And for a limited time, our listeners get 10% off at Ridge by using Code Nateland at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use code Nateland and you're all set. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.

[C]

Did you go to Niagara Falls up there? Have you been up there?

[A]

I have been there, but I didn't go there because we're.

[C]

We're going to Buffalo later in the year. And I wonder, is it worth driving out there just to see it?

[A]

You know, two together?

[B]

Yeah, it's. I'd love to see that.

[D]

What does that take?

[A]

A boat ride? Yeah. Go under the falls, do a night tour, get a bottle of champagne. You know what I mean?

[C]

What?

[D]

That's crazy.

[B]

Is it a Valentine show?

[C]

It's in October, dude. I just want to know if it's one of those, because we've. There have Been things on the road, people go, you got to go see it. And you drive there and you're like, all right.

[A]

They do say the Canadian side is better than the American side, but it's the same falls. What it is, is the American side has the better. Bigger falls, but you see it better from the Canadian side.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

But I. That's where I've seen it, and it is really nice.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I think it's. I mean, I don't know. I think it's worth it.

[C]

All right. I want to go check it out.

[B]

Where's all that water coming from?

[A]

That's what I'm always saying. It's so much water that I'm like, where is this coming from? It just keeps flowing.

[C]

What is it? It's a river, right?

[B]

What's the pipe it in? I guess.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I've never been there.

[A]

It's so much water.

[B]

Niagara river.

[C]

Maybe.

[B]

I mean, you have to be right. If that's where it falls.

[D]

I think.

[B]

They cycle it around.

[C]

The water at Niagara Falls comes from a system of interconnected rivers and lakes, primarily the Niagara river, which itself is fed by four of the five Great Lakes. Erie, Huron, Michigan and Superior. So it's got four of the Great Lakes going into a river, and that's why there's got so much power behind it.

[A]

But, like, you know, you just, like, you know, if you. Let's say you drain, you. You empty a cooler, right? And as you. You use that little thing and when it first starts coming, it's flowing hard.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But then eventually it runs out of water and the flow stops. And there's so much water, I don't know how many gallons are pumping over a minute, but it is unbelievable. And so.

[B]

And then where does that water go once it comes over the Falls?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

40 million gallons every minute.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

The highest flow rate of any waterfall on the planet. Not the biggest, but it's got the most water going through it.

[B]

Got the best flow.

[D]

That's what you need. The best flow.

[C]

That's all you need, man.

[A]

Let's see if I can look. Here's some pictures. Okay.

[C]

Of you there on the Canadian side.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is it worth going to the Canadian side?

[A]

I would say it depends on what the border is looking like. Look at that.

[C]

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's. That's crazy. Can you. Are you getting hit with the water from it? Is it.

[A]

I think you can feel a little bit of a mist in there. They do let you take A little boat ride, a little tour down in it. And then you get close, and I think you do get pretty wet.

[C]

Like on the office.

[B]

Yeah. Jim and Pam got married.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[D]

We decided to do that. I would not be bringing champagne. It very.

[A]

I didn't know what Brian was actually saying, but I just kept running with it.

[C]

Jay wants to make it very clear we will be driving in separate cars to Niagara Falls.

[D]

Different boats.

[A]

I think it's. Yeah, I think it's great out there. And I don't know. Honestly, I don't know why it would be romantic. I don't. I just think there's a lot of water out here. I don't think. Oh, I'd like to really kiss my wife out here.

[C]

You think like a mountain.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

What about a sun. What about at sunset at golden hour, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I guess so. I just don't know why those things in particular are romantic.

[C]

You don't like nature? You know, nature stuff?

[A]

I do, but nature doesn't. It doesn't go, you know, like, ah, I'd like to. Where's my wife?

[D]

You know, it seemed like, be extremely loud.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, so loud.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So loud.

[C]

I didn't even think about the noise.

[A]

We got a hotel where we had. We were able to look out over the falls. And then at night, they kind of light it up. Up.

[C]

You spent a whole weekend there.

[A]

Just one night.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You Remember in Superman 2 when they go to Niagara Falls and he. That little boy falls off the falls?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Does he reverse the flow of the river or something?

[D]

No.

[A]

He could have.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Superman just stopped the Florida river to save a child.

[B]

And then Lois Lane.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's convinced. Clark Kent to Superman. Which, of course she's Right. So she jumps into Niagara Falls because she knows he'll have to save her.

[A]

And he didn't do it.

[B]

Yeah. He didn't save her and she dies.

[D]

No, but.

[C]

That was the last Superman movie.

[D]

I guess I'll be getting tired of her name. Just let her fall. Superman. Like, I'm not going out Valentine's Day anymore, guys.

[A]

Okay, do you guys want to read comments?

[C]

Let's get into it.

[A]

The comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and [e-mail]. not Brian's email.

[B]

And you don't have to leave them on multiple platforms. I'll see you one.

[A]

Will do.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But to increase visibility, you should send it to everything.

[A]

Right. In fact.

[C]

I'm just kidding.

[A]

The more Brian sees it, probably the less like you are to include it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. This first comment comes from Jims. J E M S Gems.

[B]

Gems for men.

[A]

Dusty. Oh, okay. Well, let me. Jim's actually sounds like a very good name. And their comment goes, dusty, you have been genuinely missed.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

The fun, eccentric uncle that everyone loves to see at the family get together. So thanks, Jims.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

I was back last week.

[B]

Well, that's what they're saying. Yeah, you were missed.

[A]

Okay, well, I appreciate that you weren't.

[C]

All the way back last week. Be honest. Now you're back.

[A]

I think I'm that uncle for the people on this podcast, but not for my own nephews and nieces.

[C]

They go, great. Dusty's coming. Uncle Dusty's coming to dinner.

[A]

Like, he's gonna ask us about our jobs and then ask us what we'd really like to be doing with our lives. I try to inspire people in my family, and they're not hearing it.

[C]

He's going to talk all Thanksgiving about how it's a fake holiday.

[B]

Yeah, that's the one who believes it.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. That is true. But, you know, I tried to. I had a niece one time. I was. And I still have her, but I. I asked her what job would she want to do if she could do anything, and she said, you know, I really like working in a factory. I go, no, not a job that you think you could get. Yeah, I'm saying a job. If you could just pick anything, what. What would it be? She goes, I don't know. I really just like working in a factory.

[C]

But what are they making in the factory?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I think VHS tapes.

[A]

I think for her, it's. She means I don't have to talk to people, and I just want to do this.

[C]

That is a good answer to end the conversation.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What do you want me. When you grow up?

[C]

I want to work.

[D]

All right, well, good luck.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Jacob Harper, as a doctor. Oh, okay. Jacob, as a doctor, it is obviously wild.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. As a doctor, it is absolutely wild to me that Dusty, the king of we need to avoid dangerous chemicals is so pro tobacco. Just because it comes out of the ground does not mean it isn't horrible for you. Well, Jacob. Dr. Harper, I. I said, you know, like, cigarettes, I think are probably loaded with chemicals, but I. I just think that cigars are okay. I just think in moderation, obviously. Yeah. I just think that, you know, I don't think that they're loaded with chemicals. Like coffee. They say is. Has the most pesticides of, like, anything.

[C]

You know, and that comes out of the ground.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like, Jacob, I wasn't recommending it for people. I don't know. Maybe I did. Who knows?

[B]

I think it was just for your kids.

[A]

Come on, Dr. Harper. I just think tobacco's. This is why I think that the. The government is always very, very anti tobacco. But they don't really seem to be anti any of these other chemicals that we're eating and drinking all the time. You know, they're like, oh, yeah, eat the red dye, 40s, it's fine. But yet they're so against tobacco. It makes me think tobacco's got something good going on.

[C]

It's like when CVS stop selling cigarettes, but you can still get a box of donuts there.

[A]

Right.

[C]

That'll kill you, too.

[A]

Yeah. I'm just saying it makes it seem like tobacco's got something going on with it that.

[D]

Are they really against tobacco that much? I seen a cigarette pack in Canada and I was like, if you're really against tobacco, this. How to pack.

[A]

Well, that's true, but it took somebody with. Yeah, they put the pictures on. Yeah, put the pictures on. What tobacco will do to you.

[C]

Yeah, we've got. The tobacco industry spends a lot of money to make sure that stuff does not get on those boxes, though here. They got a pretty big lobbying.

[A]

I just. It just makes me. I'm. I am against cigarettes, but there's other tobaccos that I support.

[B]

You remember that movie thank you for Smoking?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That was a pretty good movie.

[C]

Aaron Eckhart.

[B]

Yeah, that was good. And his friends were. What were this? Guns and alcohol. Were there the other atf?

[A]

Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms.

[B]

I feel like he had two other buddies and they all compared their jobs and.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I think he had the easiest as far as keeping people addicted.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I still stand by my pro tobacco stand.

[C]

It'd be so fun if he was like, yeah, I'm a doctor of literature or something. Like, it's not even a medical doctor. PhD in English Lit.

[A]

Ellie Konzo. I feel like Grease is missing from Brian's movie list. The scene where Sandy smokes a cigarette at the end of the movie is the only time I thought smoking looked cool. I agree that Grease makes smoking look cool, but I don't really. I think Sandy for a second makes it look cool. And when she throws it down and then crushes it out, I think they make it look cool throughout that whole movie.

[C]

I love that in Greece, all these people look like they're in their 40s. Aren't these supposed to be high school kids?

[D]

Yeah, they are smoking.

[C]

Hey, good point. Dusty Toralto was 14 when he filmed.

[B]

Now that scene, she doesn't know how to smoke a cigarette.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And her friends have to show her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know why.

[D]

It's.

[B]

I mean, it's funny. I went off. I wouldn't necessarily call it cool.

[A]

I think she looks pretty cool.

[C]

It's just a pretty girl smoking a cigarette.

[B]

And to me, that's when she looks the worst in the whole movie.

[A]

Oh, I don't know.

[C]

Interesting.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I liked her much more once she lit the cigarette.

[D]

It was over for you.

[B]

Well, the way she's dressed and everything.

[A]

This is my favorite look.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

For sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That fits both of our personalities.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Sandy here, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. It's Danny who was. Who lost it with his letterman jacket. But, you know, he even takes it off. I mean, they both leave looking like this. That song, I Got chills. They're multiplying.

[B]

Dusty loves high school musicals.

[A]

I love Greece is the only musical I really like. I love that movie.

[C]

I heard you. Didn't you go see Hamilton on Broadway?

[A]

No. You know what? I take it back, though. I did see Wicked on Broadway. We've talked.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I heard.

[A]

Good.

[D]

I heard it's very good.

[A]

Very good.

[C]

The Wiz is coming to tpac. You guys want to all go together?

[D]

I definitely would love to go see the Wiz.

[C]

Okay. I don't want it to just be me and you. We're already going to Niagara Falls together.

[D]

J. I will bring champagne for us to go see the Wiz.

[A]

What's the Wiz?

[C]

I'll let you explain.

[D]

Why you letting me explain?

[B]

I got this one, Jake.

[D]

Basically the black version of the wizard of Oz. Okay.

[A]

Is it. It like, what's different about it?

[B]

The original actors ritual was Michael Jackson starts later. Diana Ross, I think.

[D]

Not gonna start on time. Okay. But yeah, more like a soul musical, you know, got a little bit more rhythm.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

My wife was in a production of the Wiz in high school.

[D]

She was.

[C]

I don't know what she played in it. I think she just played just like a person singing.

[A]

But I don't.

[C]

I don't think she was like the Wiz.

[B]

I would love to see Lucy in the Wiz.

[A]

Is it different songs or do they just sing them differently?

[D]

Sing them. No, it's something that's different. And then they sing some other songs. Different.

[C]

But it's the same plot.

[D]

Same plot. Same plot, you know? Okay, let's see. Like, ease on down. Ease on down roof. You know.

[A]

What about. What do they do? So they do live, but what do they do about the. When she lands in the yellow brick Road, what are the. Those people called in the munchkins? What do they do? They can't do that now, right?

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

They do.

[D]

I. I would assume they would.

[A]

I think it's too bad that they don't do more of that because I think people that are like, little people.

[D]

That's a job.

[A]

Want the job. Yeah. So I'm like, let's say do more of that. Give them some jobs.

[B]

That's what Nick Novicki's pushing for.

[A]

Yeah. Peter Dinklage wants all the work. That's why he shames everybody that tries to do it. Yeah. He costs seven people that job in the latest Snow White. Yeah. Yeah. It's ridiculous.

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What do you mean?

[A]

Well, he made a big deal saying that it's. It's bad that they would, you know, cast people in those roles. So they made cgi. They made CGI dwarves.

[D]

That's crazy. Well, that's the reason why I recently found out a couple months ago, you can hire little people to come out and just do whatever you want them. Whatever you want them to do. I'm being honest.

[A]

Right.

[D]

I don't think that.

[A]

I don't know if that's okay.

[D]

I mean, they're not gonna do everything, but it is a company.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[C]

You're talking about, like, home repair and stuff.

[D]

No, there is a company where you can hire. If you need a little person to come out or whatever for entertainment, they will come out for a fee. They have a set fee. Because it was comedian trying to get one to come here.

[C]

Oh, I did.

[B]

And then just J. Flake talking. By the way, if you're listening, I'm sorry, but.

[A]

No, like, I'm sorry if I offended.

[D]

Anybody, but it is.

[C]

It is a. I'm glad they didn't do that.

[A]

It is the kind of thing where it's like.

[C]

I don't even want to say the URL.

[B]

Go ahead.

[D]

We'll talk about. At the show.

[B]

I'll ask Nick.

[A]

But I just think. Yeah. I mean, that might be, you know, a good job. You know, because if you, like. I don't know. I always think about this, like, if you, like. If you're like, a little Person. You just work at Home Depot. It's like everybody that comes in there is looking at you.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

You know, you might as well.

[C]

Might as well be on a stage.

[A]

Yeah. If they're just gonna look at you, might as well make a little extra money, you know?

[D]

I mean, you can't ease them out of movies. Like. Like. Like little people don't exist in the real world.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[D]

If you can't change up a store and you're like, yeah, we gonna CGI these guys?

[B]

Dwarfs don't exist in the real world.

[A]

Well, yeah. Dwarfism. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I haven't seen the Snow White movie, but I. I assume they don't look like little people.

[A]

They're like little weird kind of cgi. They're like, weird. They're weird people. Everybody criticized them.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[D]

Let's get some real people.

[A]

Exactly. Peter Dinklage got to play the. I think it was Peter Dinklage got to play the role of all the Oompa Loompas in.

[D]

He did in the.

[A]

Jerry Depp, Willy Wonka.

[C]

That was it. That wasn't Peter. Dick.

[D]

I don't know who that was. He played every Oompa Loompa in the whole movie.

[C]

Peter Diglit.

[A]

Whoever it was, though, he got all of those wrong. He should have knock out all of them.

[C]

I agree.

[B]

Peter Dinklage was in Avengers Endgame.

[A]

Yeah, he was. I like Peter Dinklage. He's. He's. I think he had a movie that I like called the Station Agent. Yeah, I saw that. And I really like that movie. I like Peter Dinklage. I don't. Yeah, okay. That's not Peter.

[D]

Yeah, definitely.

[C]

It wasn't him.

[D]

Yeah, I regret Googling that, but he does have every.

[C]

It was this guy. It was that guy that they duplicated.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. So where did all the original ones go from the first movie? You know what I'm saying? Just bring all of them back.

[C]

Well, that was like 60 years ago, so they're all just old.

[D]

Bring them back. Bring them back.

[A]

Okay. Amy Baum. Miller. Ball Miller. You think that's it? Ball Miller. This episode brought back memories of my mom making me run into the store and for her to buy her cigarettes. I was eight. I also remember when I started smoking in a Hospital in 1987.

[C]

Started working.

[A]

Oh, started working.

[D]

Started smoking in the hospital is crazy.

[A]

Well, I bet she did. I also remember when I started working in a Hospital in 1987, they let patients smoke in their rooms. How times have changed, Dusty. It's good to have you back. Thank you, Amy. And I bet that was a great time to be in the hospital. You're like, I'm in here. My leg is broken, and I don't want to have to hobble outside to smoke a cigarette. Let me just fire it up in this room.

[C]

Nurse lights it for you. Man, it's wild.

[D]

You had a rough surgery. Let me get that for you.

[B]

Recovery from lung cancer.

[D]

Did you guys ever have to go to the store and get cigarettes with somebody in your family?

[A]

I never did.

[D]

Never?

[A]

I don't think so. Well, you did.

[D]

Yeah. My grandma used to smoke Misty Soft patch.

[A]

Oh, I remember that.

[D]

She used to send me with a note to the store right across the street, and they always say, I better not find out you smoking these. I was like, I'm six, and you.

[A]

Think I'd be smoking Misty's, Right?

[C]

What are Misty's? Like, Virginia Slims? Like, kind of like old woman cigarette?

[D]

Old woman cigarettes?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like those are the cigarettes that they. They know the kids aren't smoking.

[C]

There's something kind of like the. The person at the store knew your grandmother.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Cause the store was literally like. I mean, down the street. It wasn't even a quarter mile away.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

So she could sit on the porch and watch me go to the store and come back.

[C]

I like. I just like the idea of that. Of the store knowing all the people.

[A]

I like that, too. That was before Dollar General took over the world.

[B]

This was in Milan.

[D]

Yes. Yes. It was in Mylan.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. The Barbecue Pit was the name of the store.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

Sold everything. We sold everything.

[C]

Barbecue.

[D]

Of course.

[A]

I like that kind of store. There was that store where my dad lives. It was called Larry Edge's Grocery. I think it was just called Edge's Grocery. But Larry Edge was always in there, old man, always working. Him and his wife, they're always running the store. And you could. We could have done that. My dad didn't really smoke. My dad told me he smoked, but he would always bum cigarettes off people is what he said. He didn't have his own pack.

[C]

He was just the worst kind of smoker.

[A]

He would carry his own lighter.

[D]

You need a lighter. Give me a cigarette.

[A]

Yeah, but he. Yeah, so. But that would have been the kind of store you could have done that.

[D]

Yeah. I missed those stores.

[A]

Like, my dad had a charge account at that store where you just run a tab. Yeah.

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

Yeah. Where me and my stepbrothers would go get candy and go put it on the tab until My dad, you know, like, realized how much we were using it and then we got cut off.

[C]

We just had a Winn Dixie up the street. Yeah, I stole from it once as a kid. Cigarette, cigar, Bubblicious gum. Oh, yeah, I stole it. I never even chewed it. I just kept it in my pocket.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah, it was like the rush of stealing.

[C]

He's like, it felt good, dude. And then it fell out of my pocket and my. My dad drove me back up and I had to return it to the store. Walked up to the woman that I stole it from and gave it back to her.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

How old were you?

[C]

Six or seven.

[B]

I remember you've shared the story before the podcast and it was like your one time to kind of break a cry or commit a crime.

[C]

It was the first time I, I like, I remember going, I shouldn't do this.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I did it and it felt good.

[B]

Wasn't your last time? Yeah.

[D]

Alicia got Big League Chew. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, man, I love Big league too.

[A]

Did the lady you handed it to? What did. What was her reaction?

[C]

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[A]

Okay. Dorinda Willoughby. You think Dorinda? Yeah.

[C]

Dorinda.

[A]

Durinda Willoughby versus what else would it be?

[C]

Dorinda.

[A]

Dorinda.

[D]

I think Dorinda is probably Dorinda. Yeah.

[A]

D. Not sure the criteria for picking top country songs that reference tobacco, but my immediate thoughts were King of the Road by Roger Miller and that. And counting Flowers on the Wall by the Statler Brothers. Yeah, Both of those are good. King of the Road. I smoke old stogies I have found they're short but not too big around. And then counting flowers on the wall, he says, smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo. You know that my parents played both when I was growing up. And those songs made me smile. Thanks for bringing the memories to mind. Even though those songs didn't make your list, they should have made the list. And I'm sorry.

[B]

I could name a movie each one of these songs is in.

[A]

I could name one. Pulp Fiction.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You've seen PUL Fiction right here.

[C]

I have, yeah. It's been a while.

[B]

So the scene where Bruce Willis goes and retrieves his watch from his apartment.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Gets in his car, turns it on. That song's on. He's singing it. Wow. Right before he runs into Ving Rhames.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then King of the Road in Swingers. Swingers. When they're going back home from Vegas.

[A]

Yeah. These are great songs. Yeah. Philo Bedou.

[B]

Philo Betto.

[A]

Philo Beto.

[B]

That's a Clint Eastwood character.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In Any which Way But Loose.

[A]

Okay. I have that movie, Brian. I'm not watching in a long time, but. Yeah. Right turn. Clyde.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah. Brian, you and I are the same age.

[B]

Makes sense.

[A]

I can't believe you didn't mention Sonny Crockett. The younger folks have no idea how cool and influential Miami Vice was.

[B]

Well, he was. We talked about Miami Vice. I feel like recently on here, I guess they mean as far as smoking.

[A]

He smoked a lot. Sonny Crockett.

[B]

I mean, I guess they don't really think about. I just think about the way he dressed and. Yeah, that was a very popular. It came on, I'm pretty sure came on Friday nights, so it made it not seem quite so lame if you're home on a Friday night. Because the show was so cool.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

At least that's what I told myself.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I didn't want to go out. Anyway, Miami Vice is on. Yeah. I gotta watch Sonny Crockett. That's right, my friend Philo Beto. Yeah. Cameron Hadley. There is a place in Savannah, Georgia, that sells cigarillos modeled after the ones Clint Eastwood smokes and the good, the bad and the ugly that are aged in bourbon. They are the best tobacco product I've ever had. They leave the taste of bourbon on your lips and the smoke tastes like cherry wood. It's the best. I gotta say, I probably hate those.

[B]

Really? I thought you'd love it.

[A]

No, I don't. First off, I'm an alcoholic. I don't need the taste of bourbon on my lips. I think that might trigger me.

[B]

But besides that, I thought you would love it.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I think that's probably looks cool, but I, I like cigars that just taste like tobacco. Sometimes people like to get the flavored ones. I'm not into it. There was a time. I like Black and mild or wine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Never thought Dusty would say smoking black.

[A]

And I used to smoke wood tip. Yeah, I was the plastic tip guy. I like, I liked, I used to smoke a lot of black and milds and I would inhale them and I, I, I quit smoking cigarettes and I started smoking black and mild and then I had to go back to cigarettes.

[C]

Because I, the black and miles were tearing.

[A]

I was killing myself. Sm. But I love a black and mild.

[D]

Did you ever take the paper on the inside? It's like some paper inside the people, people used to take it out. They break it down and take out that paper.

[A]

Yeah, you used to, you know, you do it like this and rub it, rub all the tobacco into the plastic and then go put it back in.

[B]

What is a Black and Mild?

[A]

Kind of loosens it up.

[B]

Sounds like a tour that you two would do together.

[A]

It's.

[B]

That's funny.

[D]

That's a good one.

[B]

That's a good one.

[C]

The Black and Mild.

[D]

And Aaron Weber Black and Mild tour. Crazy.

[A]

That's a good name.

[B]

What is a Black and Wild though?

[D]

It's like a baby cigar, I guess.

[B]

Okay, so it's in between a cigarette and a cigar, I guess.

[A]

I think it. Yeah, I think so.

[C]

Because I would seen them at the gas station.

[A]

I'm sure I would never inhale a full on cigar. But black and mild, I mean it's, you know, it's a bit more like a.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A bit more like a cigarette than a. But it's somewhere in between. It's not good for you.

[C]

Yeah, no, not make that clear to the good doctor. We're not recommending any of this.

[D]

Yeah, I don't smoke. I just know a lot of people smoke black and Miles. Where I grew up at, none of them was white. So I was surprised that, well, Dusty was smoking the black.

[A]

Well, I mean, I grew up in Opalike, Alabama, and there was a lot of, you know, a lot of us smoking. Smoking Black and Mile. We were, you know, Opalika's a Black and Mile kind of place, and we had a great time. You know, black and Milds, Newports. I mean, we were doing, you know, they, you know, I. I can't get into it too much, but. Steven Young. I remember cigarette vending machines in restaurants when I was a child in the 80s. Seems hard now to believe that was a thing.

[B]

Thing I remember or like, Stephen Old, am I right?

[A]

I remember cigarette vending machines in Charleston in the.

[C]

You know, they're still at bars.

[A]

Mid 2000s. Yeah.

[C]

Buddy of mine in college bought an old vending machine on Craigslist and filled it with prepackaged two cigarettes. And he filled and he made a bunch of money.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

He put that at a fraternity house.

[A]

Oh, those are good. But if you can just get. Because that's sometimes when I. When I was, like, smoking but, like, was like trying to quit. Like, I didn't want to have a pack, but I would offer people money for a cigarette.

[C]

Now imagine you get. There's a vending machine. You could buy two cigarettes for a dollar. I mean. Yeah, you would clean up if you were the one.

[B]

They sell them in packs of two.

[C]

No, my buddy. This was all illegal. My buddy would buy cartons and then repackage them in two.

[B]

Like, seal them filled with just a.

[C]

Little piece of tape around, around them.

[A]

And some gas stations would sell singles, I think sometimes. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Wow, that's illegal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're kind of like your dad in the sense that you're like, I'm not going to own cigarettes. I'm just going to get it from other people.

[A]

Well, but I would offer people money for them. Yeah. Because I almost felt like it was more of a. Like I was trying to keep myself from smoking. So it was a punishment to myself. If you're willing to do it, it. It's got to cost you money.

[D]

Okay, well, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense.

[A]

But people love to go, don't worry about it, and just give you the cigarette.

[D]

And then they complain later. This is always buming cigarettes off me. Took my last wood tip, blacking mouth.

[A]

The only cigarette that a guy. One time I bummed one, he goes, it's a clove. And I go, that's fine. I don't care. And then I took, like two puffs, and I was like, Nah, I'm not into that. I don't know. I'm not into to clove cigarettes. Okay. Bethany Piggott. Piggott. Brian, did you ever have a moral dilemma? Helping grow tobacco, knowing what it can do to people? I worked at a fried catfish restaurant that summer during college and struggled serving a lady who would come every Friday for a seafood platter, knowing we were probably contributing to her early death.

[C]

Well, Brian, when you worked there, that was before all the research came out about this, right?

[B]

Well, you're not completely. She said that summer. What summer is she talking about?

[A]

Maybe the same summer that Garth Brooks sang about.

[B]

Yeah, to your point, Aaron, that was over 30 years ago. So it was a little bit different then. I mean, obviously we knew that cigarette smoking is not great for your health, but it wasn't frowned upon like it is now. And no, I didn't really. I mean, I was a college kid just working the summer, trying to help out. I don't even really think I process, like us out in the fields someday going to lead to a cigarette, somebody smoking.

[C]

There were so many steps in between that you didn't really. You weren't thinking about.

[A]

Yeah, I'd like to speak to Bethany. I just want to take a little of this burden off of her. Her sheep seems to burden herself with this. She says, I struggled selling this lady fried catfish every Friday night, knowing what we were probably contributing to her early death. It's like, just take it easy. The lady, the lady enjoys the fried catfish. She wants to come in and get it. Let her have it and don't worry yourself with it. That lady, if she ain't gonna buy the fried catfish from you, if you, if you go, hey, if you start nagging this lady going, you know, this is hurting your health, Shook's gonna go somewhere else and get a fried catfish.

[D]

That is a fact.

[A]

Don't har. Harass the lady and don't put this burden on yourself. Bethany.

[C]

It was probably a really unhealthy looking woman.

[A]

Yeah, but you know, she doing it.

[C]

What do you need to go? She orders and you go, you sure?

[D]

Right. We can bring it out grilled.

[C]

Do offer blackened shrimp.

[D]

We also got broccoli. You don't have to get the baked potato or the fries, you know, oops.

[C]

We'Re out of baked potatoes. She's like, I see all these other tables with them.

[D]

Last one.

[C]

That was the last one.

[D]

I like to mention when Brian worked there. Was that 30 years ago. That's back when they used to make the cool commercials for cigarettes. You remember they used to have the cartoon commercials for cigarettes? They used to try to make cigarettes like the thing to be back then like 30 years ago, you know, back.

[B]

In the good old the camels. Well, 30 years ago I was in college.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

I don't really remember the cartoons.

[A]

Joe Camel, though.

[D]

They used to be the commercials like Joe Camel. It was a cartoon.

[B]

Joe Camel was a cartoon.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mat that. This episode was the most interaction with the behind the scenes crew. When are you going to have them on the pod? The people want to see the real Nateland crew.

[C]

They're not even paying attention today.

[A]

Who's gonna film?

[B]

Well, I got about five complaints last week about my nose whistle. So I don't think they're doing that great a job. You gotta, you gotta get that out, guys.

[A]

Yeah. They go, I can't do everything right here. The nose will whistles back.

[B]

I kind of liked it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

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Yeah. Yeah. That was like a little dj.

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You haven't had your ag1 yet today.

[A]

Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Where's Nate to read this?

[A]

Herbs.

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Restorative.

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[C]

Yeah.

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[A]

Jacob Lewis film. Is that Lewis or Louis? Jacob Louis film. Brian with a terrible take on the Phillies lady. Shaking my head.

[C]

Well, I don't even know if you ever got to your take on it. I. I think we interrupted you.

[B]

I defended her in the sense that, yes, I think she was totally in the wrong, but she's just getting crushed and you know, just people saying awful things, wanting her to lose her job and all that to the point where now I said I felt. It felt a little Bartmanish. Steve Bartman.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[B]

Just the mob coming after her. And I still feel that way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I'm not defending her actions.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

But I think she's losing a job over.

[D]

That is crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think she's still in hiding, as far as I know.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Yeah. I mean, it's just a baseball.

[B]

Everyone's trying to find her.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty insane. Okay. Candace Huggins. When Dusty decided to villainize the dad who gave crazy Phillies Karen the baseball, I was filled with indignation. If that had been my family with some unstable woman yelling at us, I'm positive my husband would have done the same thing just to get her out of our faces. Baseballs can come and go. He gave it up. Up. And they were blessed with way more in return for being the reasonable party. Yeah, I mean, I just think the dad looked weak in front of his son. That's all. I.

[D]

It sounds like you need to be a man.

[A]

It's. The dad did something like he walks over and gets the ball and the way he grabs it and kind of holds it up like I. And then the way he puts it in his son's glove, he's like, look at me, I got it. I did it. And then the woman comes over and yells at him and he goes, oh, here you go. It's like, don't make all the others.

[C]

A little bit of time of him probably realizing this woman's crazy. I don't want to have some very public confrontation with a crazy woman. So let me just give her the ball. And this will be a lesson to my kid that sometimes the best way to deal with stuff is just to retreat from it.

[A]

I agree with you, but I still think he should have held onto it. I do agree with what you're saying.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I still think. Think he goes, nah, we got it. Okay.

[C]

It's Also, things are. In the heat of the moment, it's tough to judge somebody because it's. It's easy to look back and say, you should have done this. But, yeah, in the heat of the moment, who knows how you behave?

[A]

And I really don't want either of them to lose their jobs. That's insane. And they shouldn't be trying to track this lady down. Also insane. It's like, just, hey, just let's relax.

[C]

Depends on what their jobs are.

[D]

I wonder if Candace would feel the same if they didn't get way more return, because sometimes that don't happen either. Sometimes you just go home without the baseball that you might have promised your kids. You going to try to get them.

[A]

Before you get there? Yeah, that's a good. Take it like. Like, say he gave it up and then they left, and the Phillies didn't do anything for the kid. And now the kid's like, dad, why'd you give my ball away?

[D]

Right.

[B]

They reward her for standing up for herself.

[C]

A powerful lesson in speaking. Speaking your truth.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good. That's a good thought. Come on.

[D]

If all those ch. Looking for that one. We don't know what that woman was going through before she came to that game either.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I don't agree with, like, let's demonizing this lady like this.

[B]

You know, if my worst moments were caught on film, right. I wouldn't be allowed in a particular McDonald's at 10:32am.

[C]

Some of my worst moments were at McDonald's, too.

[B]

All right, well, that's a good segue, because this week we're talking about youth sports, and we got a man who I think could have a little insight in this, because not only are you a dad of three. Three daughters.

[D]

Three daughters, yeah.

[B]

You're also not try for four.

[D]

I will not.

[B]

Who I assume participating at least. Cheerleading.

[D]

Yeah, we got cheerleading, track and band.

[B]

Okay. And you're a referee.

[D]

I do. I do basketball, baseball, and football.

[A]

Wow. Yeah.

[B]

The trifecta. Which one's the hardest?

[D]

The hardest. I would say basketball, because basketball is like an instant. You got. When you see something, you got to make it an instant call.

[A]

Is that also the one you're the most animated in? Like, it feels like a basketball coach or basketball referee can really get animated with charge.

[D]

Yeah, you can, depending on what point of the game we're at. If it's a close game, then, yeah, you a little bit more animated with your calls. Baseball. I can be animated in the blowout.

[A]

Are you behind me?

[D]

As long as it's a close call out on the plate in the field, it don't matter. I can make a little bit of drama about the call. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Ok. So does the coach ever come out and yell at you? Do you get in those kind of situations?

[D]

I just flagged somebody Saturday morning for cussing on the field.

[B]

Okay, what do you referee? Like what level?

[C]

Age range?

[D]

Yeah, age range. The youngest is like Pee Wee. I go away for football, I do like five to seven, which I think is an insane age to have kids play tackle football all the way up to high school. And for baseball I don't do the little kids anymore. Cause I feel like the younger the more dramatic the parents. So I usually do like 13 on up to. I do college in the summer. Like they had college.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Cause they have like summer leagues where the college kids get together and play. So I do some of that. Not as much as I used to, but I would do some of that. Basketball is just strictly high school. Yeah, but I don't do basketball as much as I do the other two.

[B]

You do high school football?

[D]

Do high school football.

[B]

So that's what you're doing right now, right?

[D]

Yeah, I do. Well, not as much anymore, thanks to Aaron Weber and I'm happy about that, to be honest. So now. But yeah, in the past I did high school football during the football season. Just about every Friday night I was out there. But now it's just like junior high and jv. Cause Friday nights I'm gone, Friday nights.

[C]

I'm doing shows, I think like a lot of people. My social media feed these days is full of videos of parents yelling at umpires, confrontations with coaches and parents, and even some of the kids. Do you see more and more of that? Do you think that's a growing problem or has it always been kind of wild?

[D]

Oh no, it's a growing problem. I was just told Saturday morning that I was fat. A parent told me that I'm taking out on the kids, can only make like $10 a game. And then one yelled at. My wife really doesn't love me. So I take it out on children. This was all one game Saturday morning and they was 10 year old kids.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

I got told all of that.

[B]

This baseball, this was.

[D]

No, this was football. Football.

[A]

And this is the parents.

[D]

This was the parents. And the coach said the only time that the team was holding was the two times they scored a touchdown. And he said bleep de bleep de bleep de bleep de bleep. And I Walked him to the sideline. I said, okay, that's fine. And I dropped two flags on him. And everybody's like, coach, you need to shut up. Wow, sounds like chaos out there.

[B]

Sounds terrible.

[D]

But it doesn't bother me as much like, it really don't bother me. But I do have a belief that parents are kids. And you sports.

[A]

Yeah, I saw people on TikTok just saying that they think travel sports for kids is like ruining families because everybody. They're putting so much time. So I think the parents are putting so much time into this that they're probably stressed. Yeah, they are so invested now.

[D]

It's a lot of money is every weekend. You don't get to spend as much. Family times, you think because you're doing travel ball. But there's nothing like going on vacation. Not saying they don't get a chance to go on vacation and stuff like that. But. But it is stressful because also, I mean, it's a money game as well. So these different leagues keep up with stats. They promise kids sometime. A scout is gonna be there. Scout might not be there. I've seen travel baseball, parents get into it behind me while I'm behind the plate, like, literally about to come to fight. Blows. I called time out and say, hey, hey, y'. All. Y' all gotta get together. Cause the kids are watching this, this. And then one parent said, well, he told me to shut up. And I said, are you serious right now? Like, are y' all serious?

[A]

And. And to like, can you throw parents out of the.

[B]

I have to ask you, what jurisdiction do you have?

[D]

I can get rid of parents. You can get.

[C]

You're the king of the. You're the king of the place when you can throw people out.

[D]

I can throw. I can throw people out. And that's no matter what level you.

[A]

At, who comes to get them, if you throw them out.

[D]

If it's a. If it's a school organized game, it's usually a AD to. And you just tell the AD like, hey, dude up there in a striped shirt gotta go. And I'd be like, well, they be like, okay, so. And what happens is we're saying you the king of it. So let's just say we say he gotta go. We can go like 15 minutes and I hear his voice again and I can call a timeout and say, hey, A.D. we're not gonna continue the game until this person leaves.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

And then usually they get him up outta there.

[A]

So is that why they try to take shots at the pa because they Would think, I don't know what people get paid, but I would think if the pay wasn't good, they would be a little more appreciative that you're actually out there doing it.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

But. But maybe they think somehow you're like, I'm not doing it for the money. I'm doing it for the power. Why?

[D]

I tell people all the time, the perfect game is nobody even notices that I was there.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

That's the perfect game for me. Nobody even notices. I don't want to be. I don't wanna call. I don't wanna throw flags. I don't wanna call fouls. Now, baseball, I do wanna call outs. Are we gonna be there all day long? But I just want. People gotta go into a thing like this. And this is the reason why we have a shortage in officials. No matter who wins or loses, somebody's gonna be mad at you. It could be a perfectly called game. Somebody's gonna be upset with you when that game is over. Cause a lot of people don't. Is your fault. How do I get called fat and my wife doesn't love me? And your team lost 35 to 0. Yeah, we ended the game in the third quarter, but somehow it was my fault.

[A]

And it's just. It's so dark. It's so dark too, to take those kind of shots at you. Yeah, it's like. I mean, I don't know, just. Your wife doesn't love you.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even wear my wedding band the most games because I know some shot is gonna be taken about me being married.

[C]

Did you go home and get a little bit bigger ref shirt after that?

[D]

It was kind of snug.

[A]

I ain't gonna lie to you.

[D]

On the hot days, I'm wearing the breathable ref shirt, which is gonna be snug. I'm not gonna lie to you.

[A]

Cause that feels like YouTube comments where you're like reading them, and most of them, if they're bad, they don't really bother you, but then they'll be one. Yeah.

[C]

The funny thing is these guys don't know that you're a comedian too. And you're like, you really want to go at it back and forth?

[D]

It's going to change real quick, I promise. I had my eye on a woman that called me fat. And you should have known the jokes that rambled off in my head.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's like, I can't say it to her. I look like the bad guy. But if she says anything to me after this game is over with. Oh, I'm letting her have it. Oh. This whole time, I'm just roasting her in my head. And a woman. I got him in the. I don't care.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I'm saying that's even worse to me that a woman is yelling, saying.

[D]

And then what usually happens is most of the time, it is the women. And the man is just sitting there.

[C]

Like, geez, the man's embarrassed.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

He's like.

[A]

He's probably like, I didn't even want to do this anyway. Yeah. I'm just here to support my kid.

[C]

Well, you think the kids are embarrassed, too? Sometimes they have to be, right?

[D]

Sometimes they are. I hear some kids be like, geez, mom, shut up. Shut up. Of course she can't hear it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But. But they say that. And then some of them, they kind of, like, riled them on, too, with what's going on. So it just depends on the kid.

[A]

I remember we had a guy, like, we had like, one guy growing up, like, in youth baseball. That would be. His dad would always be that guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it was like it was the one guy we all knew. It wasn't everybody. It was. It just seems like this is a.

[B]

Lot of people nowadays. I feel like it's an epidemic.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[D]

It's crazy. Well, I need people to realize this, though. If. If you put hands on a referee in the state of Tennessee, you might want to do whatever state it is. It's a felony. If I got my shirt on.

[C]

Really?

[D]

If I got my shirt on and you put hands on me, it's a felony. State.

[C]

She just wear that shirt all the time.

[B]

You go to the mall with it going to.

[D]

I'm wearing it on stage this weekend, Aaron, just in case I bomb nobody.

[B]

Like my set you under arrest.

[C]

That's crazy. I had no idea.

[D]

I mean, that's how. That's how bad it's getting.

[C]

So a. So they. This is a new law that they've made or something?

[D]

I think it's about, like two or three years.

[C]

Okay. So a coach. If a coach comes up and grabs you, there can be serious consequences.

[D]

Like the video you sent me where the ump and the coach was like, fighting.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Since the coach started that he could. It can be charged with a felony.

[A]

Is that why in baseball the coach will kick dirt on the. On the shoes of the referee? Because he's not actually touching him. You don't ever see him do that. When they really argue, they'll kind of kick the dirt on there, and they.

[C]

Get, like, this close to the guy's face yelling.

[D]

Yeah. I mean. I mean, I need people to understand this. Also, as an official, a lot of people think we make a bad call, nothing happens. But that's far from the truth. That's far from the truth. You're not in the meetings that we have where they might show a video of you getting called out on a call you missed. You might miss out. You might miss out on playoff games. If it's early in the season, you might sit out for two or three weeks. Or I've been a part of a state championship crew where somebody messed up a call. It was like, the first game of the season. Somebody messed up on a call, and he was pulled from that state championship.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I like that.

[C]

I had no idea that y' all would watch. You'd watch film.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, we watch film. We have a meeting at least once a week watching film. We can go on the website and look at our previous games and talk about it. This is a whole lot to go into it that people don't know. We just don't show up with a shirt and say, oh, I'm calling ball now. It's a rule book that's written by lawyers.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

How did you.

[B]

What'd you have to do to become qualified?

[D]

What I did back then is you had to. We came such a shortage. Now you don't even gotta take a test. But back then. Back then, I had to go through, like, this whole training program, take a test, like, the whole nine, be qualified. And then I just start off doing big games. I would start off doing, like, the little kids, like, wreck ball. Before I could do travel ball, you would do rec ball. Because, to be honest with you, like, rec ball. When it comes to baseball, any rule will be broken by some kid that's never played in their entire life.

[C]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

Yeah. Like, a rule will be broken, and you will learn from those situations. So you start off at a smaller level and then move your way, way up.

[A]

Do you think there's a shortage because less people are doing it or because there's more stuff now, like, more games?

[D]

I think less people are doing it because of what's going on. Yeah, like, a lot of people don't want to be yelled at. Talk bad. A lot of people can't handle you being yelled at for an hour and a half.

[C]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

And then I've been to, like, hotels where I'm staying at to do comedy. And then, like, there'll be travel ball in Town. And the parents are at the hotel at night just getting hammered. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. If you. If. If you look. If you look outside the ballpark and the guy got his tailgate down his truck, and it's a cooler and some chairs sitting in the bed. His truck.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Getting hammered.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, they're so. They all seem so stressed, right?

[B]

Nate and his dad have shared stories about. Nate's mom was one of these parents. At little league games, she would get thrown out all the time. She's so passionate. She'd be yelling, and she have to go out center field and sit in the car.

[C]

Now, the difference is, I don't think Nate's mom is calling the ump fat and saying, your wife doesn't love you. She's probably arguing the calls. It's interesting watching a baseball game with Jay, because he will watch it from the perspective of the umpire in a way that probably no one else in the stadium is. When we went to the White Sox game, there was a. A call at first that the crowd didn't agree with, and Jay's just looking around going, he didn't have a good angle. Gu Swing defending me.

[D]

I mean, it depends on the angle a lot. Like, you sitting in the bleachers, you watching the game, you got this huge view. You on the field, like, you got the best view, but sometimes a little bit to the left, a little bit to the right could change, like, what you see. You know what I mean? And then sometimes you can make a perfect call because you do have the perfect angle. And then a umpire argue with me about balls and strikes, and he. On third baseline, like, you can't. You have no clue where the ball is at. Like, you have no clue where this ball is at.

[A]

You get into a fight with other officials. Like, not a fight. You guys argue.

[D]

You know, we might argue a call. And then my way of getting out of saying, I just want you to know we have the meeting that's not gonna look good on film. And I would just leave it at that.

[C]

Oh, just like, looking out for you, dude.

[D]

Yeah, I'm looking out for you. Like, hey, what did you see? Let's talk this out. That's why sometimes in NFL or any level football, you might see them pick up the flag and wave it, because somebody else might have had a better view than what you had. And they'd be like, hey, I just want to let you know what I seen. So it might not be what you thought from the angle you was at. And then, you know, you ever have.

[C]

Somebody else on your crew make a call that you disagree with, but you have to defend it? It's like a, it's like a marriage where you're.

[D]

Yes, it is.

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[D]

Yeah. I could be. And I'm gonna talk about all three, but I could be, especially with football, if I'm at the end of the line and let's say somebody might have jumped off sides and what we call is, I don't fish in other people pond. So if it happens on that other side of the field, I don't fish in that pond. But we maybe seen it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

And I gotta kind of like defend it, you know what I mean? A little bit. And I might be like, hey, coach, you know, from where we're standing, it might have looked like this. But the guy that's right there, he probably seen X, Y and Z. Yeah, yeah, sure. And I hit him with. It's not going to look good on film.

[C]

I got your back tonight, but tomorrow.

[B]

I have a joke where I say if I was a ref, I could so easily be swayed by the crowd to do a makeup call.

[D]

But the thing is they, if they, if they think that they're on you the rest of the day, they own you. The rest of the, the crowd's doing probably.

[C]

All right, let's just start the game over.

[D]

Start it over.

[C]

Start over.

[B]

My joke is the very next play, I throw a flat flag and they're holding defense this time, guys.

[A]

But that's a good point that they're on you. If they know that they can sway you, they're on you the rest of the game, right? Yeah, if. Yeah, because I think about that when I'm watching a game and they're like really booing a ref. And you know, when I'm watching pro games, I hate the refs. And so I always think professional sports, I think they're, they're rigging the game and some baby.

[C]

And basketball is the one that they. It's proven that. It's proven it's happened.

[B]

You ever fix the game?

[D]

No, I, I don't care enough to fix the game. I'll be honest with you. But I think none of those parents have enough money.

[A]

I think these high level NFL games, I do think that's happening, but I. But sometimes it's like maybe you do just make a bad call and the, the audience is booing you and you're like, if I reverse this, they're going to do this. Every call I make sure the rest of the game. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I mean, yeah, it happens.

[B]

I. When I think I was in college, I had a guy who was a. Who was a TWSS AAA basketball ref. And he. They were doing a training thing one Saturday. He asked me to come film it or something. And I remember, like, I guess the official over. Those officials were given instructions. And one thing that stood out to me, me, because they had, I guess, real. Obviously they had real players out there playing for you to. You got to practice ref.

[D]

With real players, that is. And let me tell you something, refs do not get paid for that. When they do like the scrimmage games and stuff like that, we out there for the love of getting ready for the season, and we do get paid. It's like $10 or something.

[B]

Yeah. Well, the one thing I remember them saying that kind of stood out to me, guys dribbling down the court. Player reached in to try to steal it and didn't get it, but ref called a foul. And the official over him said, if it didn't affect the game whatsoever, I mean, if it's obvious a foul, you got to call it. But if it's just a reach in and. And it didn't affect the.

[C]

Don't call it or we'll be here all night.

[D]

Yeah, that, that might be. I, I wonder what level basketball. When I say level, you still got some bad high school basketball. So it might have been just managing the game in that situation, because when you got two bad teams playing, you'll be there. All you can call foul. When I'm doing the little kids on.

[C]

Saturday, sometimes they're not even dribbling right.

[D]

It's like, we'll be here all day. An example of that is this was like probably about four or five years ago, I think it was like nine U bats. And they was like, you're not calling double. You're not calling this. And I turned around and told the coaches, both coaches, I said, let me tell you something. If I call this like a high school game or how I'm supposed to call it, y' all would not score.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

He's like, well, how they gonna learn if you don't? I said, cool, I'm gonna give you a quarter of it. And by the end of that quarter, they said, let the kids play.

[A]

Let em play. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Nobody scored that quarter. As soon as the kid took the ball, as soon as what you mean to walk? He took a step before he even dribbled. What do you mean? Oh, that's a foul, That's a charge. That's a Foul, like. But this is what y' all wanted. This is what y'.

[A]

All.

[D]

Y' all didn't score for. Hold. Let the kids play. All right.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

See what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I got called fat and all that. It was little kids. And I. I basically told the coach.

[A]

Little kids I could call holding every play.

[D]

I call holding every play. What do you. You will not score. We'll be here all day. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. How do you feel about baseball specifically? But I think at all sports, there's going to be more and more things called automatically. Right now there's automatic balls and strikes already working in to baseball. I think, you know, there's reviews, like, every play in football now. I feel like refs are kind of being pushed out.

[A]

Out.

[C]

I don't know if you feel that way. Like, I feel like in 50 years, maybe there won't even be umps and refs in sports.

[D]

That's possible. Yeah, it's possible.

[B]

Chain gang this year, didn't they, in the NFL?

[D]

Yeah. They got an automatic, like, little chain gang situation. They want to do a measurement. They go to the computer, and the computer pretty much tell them if it's short or not.

[A]

I remember it's easier to rig.

[C]

I remember it. I remember in a high school game, there's this kid, probably 25, who was doing the chain gang at one of our games, and he looked back and he was talking to us, and he goes, I hope we don't have a measurement. And we were like, what? He goes, man, I'm so high, I don't know if I can walk straight up. So maybe it would be good to do that automatically.

[D]

I mean, you can replace a chain person, too. We have those issues, too, where you replace. I mean, I've done high school games. Won't call the school where it's been dads out there doing a job and been drunk, and it's been like, hey, can we get some.

[B]

Somebody else in a little league baseball game or. What level do you do baseball?

[D]

I do. You might as well say I do. From kids to high school, if you.

[B]

Throw a parent out, what's the requirement? They gotta go to their car.

[D]

They gotta go. They gotta leave the park.

[B]

They gotta get in the car and leave.

[A]

Well, they gotta at least go to the parking lot.

[D]

At least go to the parking lot. Okay, I won't push it that far. At least I go sit in the car.

[B]

Tail lights.

[A]

You follow them out to the parking lot. You see if they're gone, you make sure they crank that truck.

[D]

They. At least they at least got to go to their car. I, I don't want to see. And I even let you get away with standing behind the fence until I hear your voice and be like, ah, they. You got to go to the car if I'm steering your voice. I'm not that type of guy that's like that. If I tell you to leave, just get away from everybody and I'm fine. But if you yelling, you know, and I can still hear your voice, it's like, all right, just, just leave.

[A]

What about a sports movie? Are you able to watch a sports movie now and, and, and not not be like, oh, that's a, that's a penalty. Like Teen Wolf, for instance. Can you enjoy a movie like Werewolf? Yeah, but can you enjoy it? Basketball? Can you enjoy it? Are you like, ah, he's traveling.

[C]

That's the one thing that he's like, this is.

[A]

This is ridiculous.

[D]

It was a lot of trap. I do, I do. I still enjoy sports movie. I mean, I understand this for entertainment. Even before I was officiating, I always loved a good sports movie. But we all know the end of the sports movies. Is this Disney one? Yes.

[C]

Have you ever seen this? She walked the movie double teamed.

[A]

I've seen this breakdown.

[C]

This is maybe the worst sports sequence in film history where I never heard of this movie. It's about two twin girls that start playing basketball.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So she's counting down from five seconds. She's got the ball.

[D]

I just want y' all to know the five seconds up at this point.

[C]

Yeah, it's already been five seconds.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Five seconds left, she starts making a decision. Okay, let me just start pumping my feet.

[D]

This is the worst ever.

[C]

So. Right. It's been 30 seconds so far. I know it's slow mode, but the clock started at.

[B]

The clock was in slow motion.

[D]

I'm just moving alone. I'm calling walk. I'm calling walk. Right on top.

[C]

Are you really?

[D]

I'm calling a walk. She ain't even went nowhere. I'm like, that's a walk.

[C]

Everyone's going, shoot. There's five seconds left.

[A]

And she was waiting. Now she's at the three point.

[C]

There was no. She was not being defended at all. She had a wide open shot.

[B]

What is he doing?

[C]

Travels.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Terrible. Behind the back path pass that almost misses her sister. The worst defense of all time. And then the shot made. But oh, yeah, now it's. Now it's down to zero seconds. I mean, that was probably a minute of game time.

[D]

And that's. Hold on. When that Shot went in. It said 1.5 seconds on the clock. Just FYI. I mean, the editors, like, ruin this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That other team should get a possession.

[A]

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[A]

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[B]

Well, that is true.

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Even if you're perfect.

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Yeah, you just want to sleep good.

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Could have a better attitude in the morning.

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[C]

The amount of games that you've reft and umpton. How often do you see something that you've never seen before? Like did. Do you ever just go, man, I've never seen that or have you? Pretty much everything's.

[D]

Yeah, pretty much at this point, I've pretty much done seen it all.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like major league baseball. There's every year there's at least a few things you're like, I've never seen that. I mean, that was. This was many years ago. Remember when the guy blew the blue ball foul?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

There's always something crazy.

[C]

Something can. Something can happen for sure. Do you Ever not think you can't remember the hand signal for a call?

[D]

Yeah, sometimes I got a little. I got a little card inside my.

[C]

Oh, you got cheat sheet.

[D]

Yeah, I got a little cheat sheet right there. I got a little thing with a.

[C]

Diagram of the guy.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, I do. So if I forget, I can act like I'm writing something down and flip it back like, oh, yeah, this a rough in the pad.

[A]

All right, well, if you're doing three sports. Yeah, I mean, that's could be confusing.

[D]

Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, it can't be confusing with doing three. And it's a lot of different rules, too.

[A]

You ever do two different sports in one day?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I've done football in the morning, baseball at night. I've done it before.

[B]

You're like Deion Sanders.

[D]

Yeah, I've done that. I've done reverse, too. Baseball in the morning, morning, high school game at night. You know, I've done that before.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, but what people don't understand a lot of these. Like, when you officiate a lot of different leagues, they got different rules, too, so you can get a rule mixed up. Everybody has their own little home rules that they have, so you can get rules mixed. It's a. It's a lot to remember and take in, man. It's a whole lot.

[C]

We were talking before about, you know, some refs or umps will brag about, like, the players that they've.

[D]

Oh, man, that gets on my nerves. Oh, man.

[A]

Wait, wait, say that again. What?

[D]

I come across all the time be like, you know, when Mookie was here, like, I umpired, like, three of his games.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

They be like, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'm sure that's why he's in the league now.

[D]

Remember Sonny Gray? Yeah. I did his baseball and his football games. Heavy. Want to tell me? I'd be like, dude, I could care. I don't know any of these kids, if any of the kids that I. No disrespect to them or their parents, but any k I'm officiating now that makes it to the league. I have no clue.

[C]

You're not following their careers after.

[D]

I am not following. I could care less. I get careless.

[A]

How long have some of these people been doing this?

[D]

Oh, 30 years, 40 years.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Long.

[B]

What made you interested? Did you play sports in high school?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I played sport. I had played all three sports.

[A]

Do you ask a guy that's been doing it 30 years after you get some kind of insult? Like you got. Do you Ever go, hey, do they ever yell that your wife doesn't love you?

[D]

They'd be like, dude, I've heard worse than that.

[A]

Do you guys talk about the insults that you get from people?

[D]

Yeah, we laugh at it. Yeah, we laugh at it. The good ones, man, we. We really don't care, man. That stuff just falls off our back. We really could care less.

[C]

It's like getting a heckle at a show probably.

[D]

Yeah, it's like.

[A]

But do you think there are guys that take it more personal than other?

[D]

Most definitely. Yeah, most definitely.

[A]

There are comics that I know that like. Yeah, we all laugh about it, but you know, later.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I'd be one of them.

[C]

You're sitting alone in your hotel room, you remember it.

[B]

Yeah, I would hate to be a referee because I want everyone to like me.

[D]

And yeah, you definitely, you definitely something. You could never.

[B]

Yeah, I wouldn't want to be a referee. I wouldn't want to be a coach. Same reason the parents are just.

[D]

Well, I said I wouldn't coach because of a parents. At least officiating. You can just call me fat, my wife don't love me and I can just go home. But if I'm a coach, I got to deal with this parent all season, you know what I mean? They probably don't even remember who I. The lady who talked bad to me on Saturday probably won't. Even if I came out there next Saturday, she probably won't even remember who I was.

[C]

Well, she. Right now she's yelling at a cashier somewhere.

[D]

You know what I mean?

[C]

That's just how they live life.

[D]

Yeah, but how I got into it was really not. I wanted to be a coach and I thought about that. I just wanted officiate, but I got laid off from a job and that's what happened. I was broke for so long, I said I gotta. So I was like, I get this gig going, is officiating until I can get back on my feet. But then I found that was like the best part time job ever, to be honest with you. I can make my own schedule. I can be like, man, I need some money. Hit somebody up and be like, hey, any games this week? And they be like, yeah, I'll load you up, what you need?

[C]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

Yeah, my mom used to be a softball umpire for a little while.

[D]

Softball was fun.

[C]

Yeah, you ever have to go to those games?

[A]

Yeah, I went to the game cause she played softball and then was a softball by umpire later. And I was at the park all the time. Yeah, yeah. I was a little one of those little, you know, just park kids.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Running around, just playing wall ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Great hamburgers.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That long gum. You remember the gum that was in the. Like a long stick. Yeah. Had that.

[C]

I don't remember the long stick of gum. Bubble tape or is this something.

[A]

No, no, it's like a. Just a stick.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, almost like Slim jams.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It was like in plastic, but it's gone. It wasn't the best gu.

[A]

No, none of it wouldn't.

[D]

It wouldn't take long.

[A]

No. But it was at all. It wasn't a slim.

[C]

I tucked in Slim Jim of gum.

[D]

The flavor in that gum only lasts about three or four chews. It was out of here.

[B]

Do they still do the thing like if there's a foul ball, they'll say bring it in and get a quarter or whatever.

[D]

No, they should, though. I was telling somebody last baseball season they should bring that back.

[B]

So if this foul ball, you just keep it.

[D]

Well, a lot of people we ask him to turn it in, but that don't happen.

[C]

East Montgomery, where I played. Somebody will come in. Loudspeaker Please return that ball to the concession stain for free coke.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

When I was playing Little League, we used to get free slushies and you turn in a foul ball.

[A]

I.

[D]

My kids fighting over a baseball.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But now they don't do that anymore. Yeah, they should. They should bring it back. But, you know, do you ever do.

[C]

A really over the top animated strike three call just to if. If one of the. If that team's annoying you or something? Just something like that. You never do that.

[D]

N. It pretty much stay the same.

[C]

You never do a Savannah Bananas like back fl.

[A]

Just exciting. Like, it's like the last one of the game and it's been a hot game.

[C]

It's a great game.

[A]

You never hit him. One of those.

[D]

Still the same. It's still the same.

[A]

You're two measures.

[D]

It's still the same. Strike three.

[A]

I think that's why you're probably a good umpire.

[D]

Well, you got to think about, like, if I. If I'm extra, some kid struck out.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You know what I mean? Some kids. It's a whole. Another team over there that is upset and probably don't agree with that call. Dusty. Trying me to fight the people at this.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. You really want to hammer it home would be great.

[B]

Great is if he swung on strike three and miss and you still do it now.

[D]

That'll be crazy. I just do A moon walk. Michael Jackson, walk up on toes.

[A]

I think Leslie Nielsen, the Naked Gun. I think the fun move would be do it on the first strike out of the game. Like, start it high.

[D]

You know, you have to keep that the whole game.

[A]

But I'm saying, then slowly tone it down. As the game goes on, you get less and less.

[C]

The opposite of crock pot.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, it's.

[B]

You ever had a pitcher throw, like, be throwing a perfect game and you get nervous behind the plate because you're like, no, I wish somebody get a hit just so take the pressure off me.

[D]

No, no, no. I probably don't even know he throwing a perfect game. I only keep up with it. I don't even keep up with it. You know what I mean?

[C]

I look up and go, wow, they haven't had a hit yet. You never do it.

[D]

And I will say that I'm like, dang, they hadn't got a hit yet.

[C]

Like, damn, man, y' all stink.

[D]

He's throwing nothing.

[A]

Then you go, I gotta figure out how to help them get a hit.

[D]

Wa.

[A]

Hit him with.

[D]

I. I say this, I will say this. Now, if a team is getting blown out, I will give the batter like a little bit of, you know, hey, buddy, you know, just scoot up a little bit in the battle.

[C]

Yeah, for young kids.

[D]

Scoot back a little bit. You know, high school. Nah, we up out. I'm trying to get up out of here. After them five minutes over with. I mean, after them five minutes. If it's a ten run rule. But the little kids. And it's like. Cause sometimes you get into the trap.

[A]

It's.

[D]

And you got a major team that's probably not supposed to be playing this particular team. It's like 180 in the first.

[C]

First hand.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And so I throw little tips to the kid. I'm like, man, scoot up, back up in the basketball. Like, you know, just.

[C]

He's tipping his fastball.

[D]

Yeah, he got a good curve. I might whisper like, kid got a good curve. You know what I mean?

[B]

You ever umpired slow pitch softball?

[D]

Yes, I did for a couple of months. Adult slow pitch softball, you talked about. Oh, adult.

[B]

Well, I remember little kids play and the catcher can't even. Like, the umpire by the plate is basically retrieving football.

[D]

What they got now is coach pitch. So they do coach pitch. I used to do that. That's usually pretty cool. They get mad at the coach because the coach can't pitch more than they mad. Oh, yeah, Slow pitch. I mean, all the girls.

[A]

Yeah. I can't imagine the audience treating the coach. Oh, come on, Coach.

[D]

Yeah, and it's always that one dad, give him a good ball, you know, he like it just high, man, it's, it's so funny.

[B]

You ever have a running clock in football or basketball?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Who decides that?

[D]

Tito? Let's double A does.

[B]

Like there's a certain score.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You guys both said that back and forth with each other and you just see it like everybody knows. So let me say like auctioneers of it.

[D]

The National Federation of High School makes that decision.

[C]

The nfs. Hs.

[D]

Yeah. Nfhs. My bad, my bad. I mean, he was on me by Taas. So they come up with a rule to say, hey, with football it's like 35. If you go up 35 points. Second half is running clock. Basketball, I think it's like 40 points. Second half running clock baseball, 5 innings, 10 run rule. Or it could happen before then if the coaches come to agreement and be like, hey, we gonna start this in the second quarter and just, hey, Blue.

[C]

Hey, Blue. We stink.

[D]

Just saying. Yeah, some coaches know. Some coaches know that, hey, this is a state championship caliber team. We're nowhere close, right? So in high school baseball I had coaches ended in like the fourth and like, ah, we done, we had of pitching football, I had a coach like, hey, we going to start running the clock in the second quarter. He told us before the game started, like, we're going to be on a running clock.

[A]

Football sounds. Seems like the worst sport to get blown out in because especially if you're like a lineman, you're still having to hit every play.

[C]

Tell you from experience.

[A]

Yeah. And you know, you know you're losing. There's no chance, but yet every play you got to hit.

[C]

But I'll tell you the couple times or I've been on the other end of that. It's so much fun to just be destroying a team.

[A]

Yeah. You broke their spirit and their will and now you're just hitting them.

[C]

We were beating a kid. We were beating a team so bad in high school once that, you know, you just start putting in all the freshmen and stuff to letting them play. And there's this little fat kid, this little, this little fat freshman kid that got in the game and the other team started making fun of him. They, you look like my little brother, man. And he goes, only reason I'm out.

[D]

Here is because y' all stink so much.

[C]

Shout out, Raymond. It was hilarious. It's hilarious.

[D]

That's funny. That's Funny.

[B]

I'll share a little research I did. This is probably the episode where the most I. We didn't even need any of this because we. We got a. Someone here who actually. We're not used to. People actually know what they're talking about on this podcast. It's usually just us making up stuff. All right, here's what I found. The average.

[A]

Because they don't believe anything that I say.

[B]

Well, Dusty, yeah, Dusty thinks he's an expert in every topic, but.

[C]

Well, you believe you sports exists, so it's been Right.

[D]

I do want to know what is an exciting game to you? Because over time you was like, ah, they just extended into too many commercials.

[A]

Well, you know, if it's, you know, if you're really scoring a lot or, or, or like, you know, I think scoring a lot is an exciting game because a good defensive game can be exciting if you know that one of the teams is really good at offense, but yet the other team has just kept them from scoring.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But I don't think that just because you go to overtime makes it a exciting game. But I, I do, you know, you know, if it's high scoring, like, you know, like, you know, I always talk about this. Auburn, Florida State national championship. I wanted Auburn to win. Florida State won. But it was like the last, you know, felt like the last few minutes of the game, it was like Auburn went ahead, Florida State went ahead, Auburn went ahead. And it's like, that's exciting. Even though it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, still exciting. Still bothers me, you know, I still think about it.

[B]

James, Winston, Him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You didn't like him, did you?

[A]

I know. I mean, but James wouldn't. He had a lot going on. He's grown on me a little more. He changes it, you know, but at the time, yeah, he had a lot going on and I wanted Auburn to win, but yeah, you know, Jameis Winston, he's. He makes funny comments. I don't. I think he's a funny person. But I also don't always know if what he's saying he knows is funny. But like, he has that clip where he goes. He goes. It's like coach always says, wait, what did coach say?

[D]

You gotta want to eat a W. Yeah. Come on, Jameson.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Eating a W is crazy.

[A]

It's crazy.

[D]

But so, yeah, it. I get your point now. I get what you're saying now, because it can be two teams. That's garbage.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And go to overtime and they going overtime because they garbage.

[C]

Yeah, but the super bowl in overtime, I mean, that's tends to be. How often does that happen?

[D]

Not often.

[A]

It tends to be the least exciting game. To me, I think that was the Super Bowl. I think so, cuz. Like playoffs getting there often, very exciting. But I don't know, it feels like the super bowl. The halftime show's too long and I don't know, it just there too much theatrics got.

[C]

I agree. There's a lot of other stuff around. If you care about the game, it can be annoying, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But you can just not watch.

[A]

And then everybody wants to do a party and I'm like, well, I want to. I'd like to watch the game.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And if you're doing a party, you're hanging. Everybody's talking, talking. I'm like, let's watch this.

[D]

Yeah, I get you.

[A]

Let's get in there, guys.

[B]

All right, I'll skip ahead here. Cost of youth sports gone crazy high for parents as far as equipment and fees and stuff like that over the last few years.

[A]

This lady that I watched on Tick Tock said she thinks it's ruining families because. Yeah, because they're having to travel so much. Everybody's so busy, everything costs so much, and then you have to do. Do these things to raise money for your team. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Dustin Nickerson argued that there should be some type of rule where you got to at least figure out your kid's going to make the team before you have to buy, like, the stuff.

[D]

Some of the travel baseball teams got tryouts.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Like they have before you.

[C]

Before you buy a glove or anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I think he gets like, even at the. The bare minimum, he'll spend a few.

[B]

Hundred dollars and then the kids. Kid won't make the cut.

[A]

You know, if you don't have a glove, I would say don't try out for the ticket if you don't have a glove.

[D]

All right, let's start there. But, but I mean, if y' all played a mitt back in the day, I mean, you can buy a glove, like $70, 50, 60, $70. Now gloves are like $300.

[A]

It's so expensive. I went to buy gloves for me and my kids because I want to try to teach them to catch. And I was like, geez, these are so expensive. We have been using the yard ball, but I want them to get it.

[C]

I want them to do a real. A real ball.

[A]

But I was like, man, this is so expensive.

[D]

Like 300 for a good one. It's like $300. If you go to. And if you got anybody listening, that's a travel parent. I mean, you got cleats. You got turf cleats. You got turf shoes. Cause some fields don't want you wear cleats because they got a turf field or whatever. So you got. They got the cleats, turf shoes, backpack. Some of these kids got two bats. You got infield mitt, outfield mitt.

[C]

That's crazy.

[D]

They got like, three different uniforms sometimes.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So it's. You have batting gloves and then some of these kids. Nobody thinking me weird about this, but I think you kind of weak. If you had to be like, yeah, they get the first base. Like, let me take all this gear off sliding. I gotta put on my slide mitt. I gotta put on this and that. When I was a kid, Run the base. When I was.

[C]

When I was growing up, if you used a batting glove, people would call you a word that. I'm not happy just for wearing a batting glove.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Now they show up. They're decked out and all.

[D]

Yeah. They got shin guard, elbow guard. They got batter's gloves, sliding mitts. They got all type of stuff. I'm like.

[C]

I remember it being like there would be a new bat every year that every kid would want. And I remember one year, this kid showed up, he had a new Demur Marini bat.

[D]

Good brand A bit.

[C]

And it was like. It was beautiful looking.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I remember asked my dad, I was like, you know, Trey just got a new Demarini. Can we get one? He goes, you better become good friends with Trey and ask him to use his bed. I'm not spending. I think at the time, it was like 150 bucks for a bat, which is ridiculous.

[B]

That's a lot more, isn't it?

[C]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[D]

600.

[C]

Crazy.

[A]

It's insane. Yeah. Bats. I remember that whole kind of. We had a bat and bag and. But it was like, for uniform, it was a T shirt and. And you had, you know, those white pants, whatever.

[D]

Those. Everybody had the white pants.

[A]

Yeah. And. Yeah. I mean, in cleats and it. Like, there was no. I had a bat and glove, but there was no. No other gear.

[D]

I had cleats, one batting glove. Couldn't afford two.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

One.

[A]

Yeah, I had one, too. That's what I had.

[C]

They come in pairs back then.

[D]

You could just buy one if you wanted. You just buy one?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think they come single, don't they?

[D]

Yeah, you could just buy one. I don't know. But they come in Pairs now, but back then, you could buy just one.

[C]

It's on the wrong hand, too. You're like, I just want to have one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you think 30 years from now, football, because of CT and all that, it'll just be more like flag football?

[D]

No, I think they add more rules like they did with the kickoff and stuff like that, but it's too entertaining. I mean, America loves blood, guts, and glory, you know? I mean, so I don't think it's ever gonna go.

[A]

I think the technology of the helmet just has to keep improving.

[D]

Right.

[C]

But it's like, at the end of the day, the brain sits in water. There's only so much you can do.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I think that it'd be like, isn't the safest thing to do to take the helmets off?

[A]

That's why I know helmets. Yeah.

[D]

Some. Some people would say, yeah, because rugby doesn't have the amount. And they don't. They don't wear helmets anything like Mike did. It's all about the technique, tackling.

[B]

Tackle properly.

[D]

If you tackle properly, you won't have an issue. You know what I mean? Get your head across in his chest and just drive him back. I mean, it's all these big hits is what causes that.

[C]

And are they, like, crazy about that with the refs? Like, you got to keep an eye on the targeting stuff.

[D]

Like, definitely. Yeah, yeah. We. If. If it's close, we. We throwing a flag down and you'll still hear Dash, like, that was just a good hit, son. Keep hitting him like that. I'm like, your son been laying on.

[C]

The ground for five minutes, paralyzed.

[A]

Let him play.

[C]

Let him play on a stretcher.

[B]

Let him play.

[C]

Oh, man.

[B]

Well, flag football is going to be in the next Olympics, so it's a good sport. And I think NFL players are getting to play for the United States.

[C]

Do you think, man, I wonder, like, are our best NFL players going to necessarily be the best flag football players, or is it a whole different. Like, if we, like, there's wiffle ball leagues and I don't know. Aaron Judge is going to do well in wiffle ball.

[A]

I bet he would crush.

[C]

I just think it's a totally different thing, almost.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I have to see.

[D]

I will say this, as I used to officiate flag football, too. There's different rules. It's like a different way of playing flag than you would play the normal. Just 11, man line them up. Like, it's different rules. The plays are a lot more complicated. Well, I ain't Gonna say they more complicated, but they're more. How can I say it? Entertaining. You know what I mean? So they got different ways they draw the plays up. The way you play defense. I mean, could they. Yes. Would they want to. You could possibly see a team that's been playing flag football for 10 years straight, get an NFL team out there and beat the brakes off of them.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Just.

[C]

Cause it's a different thing.

[D]

It's just a different way of playing the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So interesting.

[B]

All right, we got a little time left. We talked about sports movies earlier, but I was looking up some of the best sports movies of all time. Youth sports. So let's leave out major league or. Okay, even Rudy. Let's say high school or high school or younger.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Best baseball movie.

[A]

Sandlot, Right? Yeah. I would have go for youth.

[B]

That's what I pick.

[A]

Sandlot. Yeah. I don't. Our rookie of the year. Well, I still kind of pro. Just a kid.

[C]

Oh, young. I was still. I was like, didn't we just talk about how awesome Moneyball was last night? The Sandlot is the one where it gets me romantic about baseball in a way that no other movie really does for kids.

[A]

I don't know. I can't even. Oh, I guess there's. What's a Walter Mathau? Was the Bad News Bears bad News?

[D]

Bad News Bears.

[A]

That was great.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Well, Bad News Bears was good with the Walter Math out the old one. And then it was Johnny Knox Knoxville, wasn't it? No, no, it was.

[D]

The old one was better than the newest one.

[C]

Billy Ray, Thor. Billy.

[A]

Yeah, it was good. But the old one. Yeah, that's a good one. I like that one a lot. I remember seeing the old one a lot when I was.

[D]

I would have to go with the Bad News Bears because I watched it more than I watched Sandlot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

The old version.

[C]

Different generations.

[B]

Dude, basketball movie. I'll go first because I already look mine up. Hoosiers.

[A]

Hoosiers, Yeah. I thought you said Hoosiers.

[C]

Yeah. Is that really a kid?

[B]

High schoolers is high school. Yeah.

[A]

Indiana high school, I think Teen Wolf, but maybe it's not specifically about basketball.

[D]

What's the one with kid changing into a Samuel Jackson? Was the coach Coach Carter. Coach Carter. Give me Coach Carter.

[C]

That movie stinks.

[D]

Give me Coach Carter.

[A]

I never saw Coach Carter.

[D]

He's never been to the streets and he never was in the streets in the hood like me.

[C]

He got hooers.

[B]

And Coach Carter black and mild.

[D]

I understood those Kids, that was in.

[C]

That movie we got. What about Half Court Miracle, the Disney Channel original movie where about a all Jewish basketball team from the Bronx or something? Have you ever seen that? Oh, it was terrible.

[B]

I just learned about Twin Peaks or whatever that was y' all were showing.

[A]

Double Team.

[B]

Double Team.

[D]

Twin Peaks.

[A]

What, what did you pick? Oh, Hoosiers. Did you have other basketball movies?

[B]

I thought of Coach Carter and again I googled it, so I kind of looked I could. There weren't any more that I remember that were. High schooler. Well, there was like Air Bud.

[A]

Yeah, that's Aaron's favorite.

[D]

There's a lot of kid basketball moves that are trash.

[A]

Yeah, Air Bud. They took that. They took that dog to the game on a leash.

[C]

That was a funny joke.

[A]

That is a funny joke.

[B]

Karate.

[A]

Karate, obviously. Karate.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I could argue that. Cobra Kai, the TV show, that's just Karate Kid. Yeah, I know, but it's. Gosh, I love that show.

[D]

Oh, I forgot about. He Got Game. Give me. He Got Game. I'm changing.

[A]

He Got Game is Denzel.

[D]

Yeah, Denzel.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And he was in high school because I was thinking it was a Ray Allen. Yeah, he was in high school school, right? Yeah, Ray Allen. He was in high school during his. I forget. He ended up going to college at the end. So does this still count?

[B]

Yeah, accounts. Did you see Hoop Dreams, the documentary Dreams?

[D]

I believe I have one time with.

[C]

Sebastian Telfair about him.

[B]

I don't think so. Okay, it might have.

[C]

Well, there was a documentary.

[B]

Yeah, I don't remember the guy's name. They provoked two up and coming star basketball players, I think in Chicago. And it was really. I mean, this is an old documentary. Really good.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, I haven't seen that.

[D]

Oh, this? Okay, No, I hadn't seen that.

[C]

What about Johnny Tsunami? Dude, you ever watch that?

[B]

What is that?

[C]

If you consider surfing and skiing a sport. And snowboarding. That's a good one.

[D]

All right, well, I'll tell you what though. If, if it's any, if any, any of the black people that know me see this, they gonna be like, how did you not say love and basketball?

[C]

But okay.

[B]

Don't worry nobody, no black people watch.

[C]

Hey, we don't have the data.

[D]

Like me being a catch can, huh?

[B]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. All right, cross country, I got one. Because there's probably been one. McFarlane USA. That's a great movie.

[A]

I don't even know what you mean.

[B]

Kevin Costner is the sport.

[C]

Cross country, like running long distance. Running it.

[D]

Okay, there's Movies about that I had no clue was.

[B]

That's a great movie. All right.

[C]

Hockey Miracle.

[D]

Could it be Mighty Mighty Ducks?

[A]

For sure.

[C]

Has to be.

[B]

Soccer.

[C]

There's a movie called the Green Machine.

[A]

The kid from.

[C]

With the kid from Sandlot.

[A]

Sandlot, yeah.

[C]

And it's about a kid's soccer team.

[A]

I would say Ladybugs with Rodney Dangerfield.

[B]

Y. And there was kicking and screaming.

[A]

Kicking and screaming. That was a good one.

[B]

Bend it like Beckham. Have you seen that?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And then football. Football is probably the hardest one.

[D]

Is it?

[B]

I mean, there's just been so many Friday Night Lights. I pick Remember the Titans.

[A]

Oh, those are. Yeah. Because I was thinking, like, what's the Rick Moranis, Ed o' Neal, Little Giants. Little Giants. That's a good one. But that's a little kid. I mean, it's hard to compete with. Remember the Titans? And. And Friday Night Lights? I mean, those are great.

[B]

Although Aaron's got a joke about Remember the Titans?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Give me Remember the Titans?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that one's the last time you watched it.

[C]

It is a great movie, but when's the last time you watched his own.

[D]

I'm watching.

[A]

It's been a while.

[C]

I don't care what, like, as an adult now. I watch it. I go, God, this is such an over the top, cheesy moment.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I guess that's just. It's a Disney movie for kids that. I didn't feel that way when I watched it as a kid. Now I'm like, oh, all that left side, strong side stuff, that does nothing for me anymore. I'm like, it's not even going to.

[D]

Fly in the locker room. Be honest with you. Left side.

[C]

I remember thinking, attitude, reflect, leadership, Captain. I remember thinking that was like the hardest line in the history of cinema. And I watched it. I was like, that didn't even, like, make sense with what he.

[A]

Yeah, see, I've not watched it in a long time, but I did watch Little Giants not long ago. And I was like, this is pretty good for a kids movie. It's pretty.

[C]

I've said it before. My old boss wrote that movie.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

When I interned at. In a advertising company. It. That was based on a McDonald's ad. They did a McDonald's ad about youth football. And then that transformed into the movie Little Giants. I didn't know Rob Shallow Cross, I think his name was, but he wrote that movie. Pretty cool. Never mind.

[A]

Were there other.

[D]

Friday Night Lights was good too.

[A]

Friday Night Light. Were there other kids?

[B]

Well, there's A ton. If I. When I just googled youth sports movies, but I just came up with my favorites.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But, yeah, there's been so many.

[C]

Send us yours.

[B]

I guess I want to hear about it. The Blind Sides kind of. I mean, he's getting ready for college, but he's in high school.

[D]

That's a good movie, too. That's a true representation of Memphis, Tennessee. I'm sorry, I'm playing. Some of that stuff is made up for real. Like, some of. As it should be, as it is in our movie.

[C]

Yeah, I guess you have to for a movie.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Some of this stuff is made up. I think Friday Night Lights might be a true representation of high school football. Seriously, what your kids may be doing outside.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm sure we're forgetting some.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

[B]

All right, we're gonna talk about what we're doing this weekend.

[C]

Yeah. Where are we gonna be?

[B]

I will be in. All right. So Nate, I know for a fact Sunday night, I don't know where he is all weekend, but Sunday night he is. Is in Little Rock, Arkansas, at Simmons Bank Arena. Reason I know is because I'm competing against him because I'm going to be at First United Methodist Church in Perigul, Arkansas. So you got a choice, Arkansas. You can go to Little Rock, see Nate, or come to First United Methodist Church and see me.

[C]

You want to go see Nate, you'll won't even get to meet him. Or you go to Brian's show and he'll stick around too long.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Geez, when is he leaving?

[B]

Yeah, it'll be a lot.

[D]

How far there from Little Rock?

[B]

I think it's three hours or so.

[D]

Three hours.

[C]

But people are making those drives for Nate show it's making for me.

[D]

I know.

[C]

I mean, I saw people at the airport this weekend. They were like, we flew in for the show. People flying to these shows. It's pretty crazy.

[B]

October 10th and 11th, I'm in the Cleveland area, Brunswick and Willoughby. October 30th, Rochester, New York.

[A]

Never been to Rochester, but comedy off the Carlson. Something like that. Comedy at the Carlson, comedy at the girl Broadway.

[B]

Mine might be off.

[A]

I've been there. I like that.

[C]

Kodak.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

What's Kodak?

[C]

That's for Kodak. The company is Rochester Kodiak. Kodak.

[A]

Kodak, you're right. Not the dip. The camera company.

[B]

Okay, well, I've never been to Rochester, but October 30th, come see me.

[C]

Two iconic brands.

[A]

It's where they. Kodak came from. And so they got all these, like, mansions in the city of where all the Kodak people worked at. But now Kodak's, like, completely out of business.

[B]

So I thought Kodak was in East Tennessee. Tennessee. But that must.

[A]

Well, there is a Kodak. You're thinking Tennessee now. You go. It goes. It goes Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, Sevierville. Kodak. But we're saying Kodak, the film.

[B]

I'm saying there is a camera company that was based out of East Tennessee, but it must not been Kodak.

[C]

GoPro.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Okay.

[C]

This weekend, if you want to see me and Jay. Jay and I are hitting the road. The Black and Mild tour rides in again. Phoenix, Arizona, this weekend at the Desert Ridge Improv. Five shows there. And then we're heading the very next day, September 21st, to Denver, Colorado, at Comedy Works. Already sold a show out. We got tickets available to the. The show we added is at 7. So we got a show at 5 and then at 7. So they're not late shows. Come on out to them. Phoenix, Arizona. Denver, Colorado. Aaron Weber. J. Flake.

[B]

Let's.

[D]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Okay. This week, weekend. You know what? I'm gonna go ahead and just plug this because I'm doing his show. It'll be tonight when this podcast comes out. I'm doing Hugh Howser show at the lab, and it's in the main room. Is it?

[C]

Yeah, I'm on it, too.

[A]

Okay, great. All right, so we're both doing sold out. Okay. Oh, it's already sold out.

[C]

Yeah, it's sold out.

[A]

Well, good for you.

[D]

He's the man.

[A]

On Friday, I'll be at Reading, Pennsylvania. I was told that you. That's how you pronounce it, is Reading. And if you want to be cool, you say PA and not Pennsylvania.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And then Wilkes, Barry, Pennsylvania. I'll be there.

[C]

And the Penguins.

[A]

Yeah. So. And then, yeah, I'll just plug my own show. September 30th, I'll be at Zany's. Nice.

[B]

All right, you want to wrap it up, Dusty?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Watch Jay set this this Friday.

[A]

And YouTube, September 19th.

[C]

Who. Which one of us hosted his show that he. He did.

[A]

I think it was Dusty. So it was a great night. The. The audience was great. It was a good warm up. And then the show just kept being good.

[D]

Yeah, it was a great.

[A]

It was a good night. It was a good night. I know, I know. I remember specifically, I had not done comedy. I'd been taking a little break, a little nervous getting that show going, which I don't get. Nervous a lot. I got a little nervous doing this show, but it was very good.

[D]

Yeah. Check it out. It's not a long watch. I think it's 13 minutes. I watched it on the way here.

[C]

It's gonna be happy with how it came out?

[D]

Yeah, I'm very excited. I'm very happy how the way it came out. Tried to show my wife. She was like, nope, I'll watch it Friday. All right.

[A]

Well, that's. That shows that your wife loves you because she wants an ad of view to the view count.

[D]

Yeah, I appreciate.

[A]

So for the lady who says that Jay's wife doesn't love him. She does.

[B]

That's right. Most likely.

[D]

Making bad calls for these kids because my wife doesn't love me.

[A]

That's right. Well, hey, guys, we appreciate you tuning in. It's been a lot of fun. We're having a good time. Time. And until next time. Okay. We'll see you foreign. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway Cough and cold season is coming, so make sure you're prepared. And stock up on your family's favorite personal wellness products. Now through October 7th. Shop in store and online for savings on products like Mucinex Kickstart Combo, Zyrtec Allergy relief tablets or liquid Gels, Halls cough drops and Mucinex Fast day and night so you and your family are armed and ready for the season ahead. Offerings, October 7th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[D]

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[C]

Customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[A]

Fascinating.

[D]

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[A]

Uh, limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[C]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[A]

Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com Liberty Liberty, Liberty Liberty Savings Fairy unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates.

[C]

Excludes Massachusetts.