278: #278 Neighborhoods

Summary

The Nateland Podcast Episode 278: "Neighborhoods" (November 12, 2025) Hosts: Dusty Slay (main host), Brian Bates, Aaron Weber

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Episode Overview

This episode explores the concept of neighborhoods — what defines them, the quirks of neighbors, and the comedians’ personal experiences with their own neighborhoods. The hosts share stories about recent travels, cultural observations, neighborhood drama, and digress into topics like scams, sports fandom, and memorable TV neighbors. It’s a characteristically laid-back and funny session, full of classic Nateland banter.

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Main Discussion Themes

1. Dusty's Return & Banter About Absence

• [00:18] Dusty leads, addressing his recent absence, joking that he wanted people to think Aaron forced him out. The other hosts riff on speculation from listeners and social media about why Dusty wasn't present.
• Notable Quote:
  • “I wanted everyone to think I quit because Aaron diminished my accomplishments.” — Dusty ([00:18])
  • “A couple commenters were in on the scam. They said, ‘I bet they fired Dusty.’” — Dusty ([01:53])

2. Dealing with Sickness and Work Ethic

• [04:54] Dusty recounts his struggle with a sore throat and a blue-collar, never-take-a-sick-day mentality.
• “I’d be hungover, but I still went to work. I’m not a call-in-sick guy.” — Dusty ([05:22])
• [06:58] The group discusses whether they’d rather do shows with a sore throat or a broken foot.

3. Airport/Travel Habits

• [07:17] The hosts riff on stressful airport routines, flight cancellations, early arrivals, and people-watching at the airport.
• “[At Southwest] I wish you weren’t doing announcements at all.” — Dusty ([08:21])
• “I like to get to the airport, get a coffee, sit down, people watch, pee three or four times, get on the plane.” — Dusty ([09:33])

4. Weekend Comedy Recaps

Brian’s Canada Adventures

• [12:15–18:00] Brian recounts his first stand-up show outside the US, in Leamington, Ontario. He discusses local quirks like Remembrance Day poppies, different spellings, and the lack of sarcasm—plus the confusion resulting in extra security at his show due to his jokes.
  • “They added a third guy. I had three security guys outside my door…” — Brian ([16:06])
  • Culture note: Canadian TV spellings (centre, colour), and platform differences.

Aaron’s Midwest Shows

• [18:07–19:00] Aaron details gigs in Dayton and Toledo, Ohio, then driving back for more shows. He reflects on the warmth of Ohio crowds.

Dusty’s Theatre Gigs

• [19:04–21:46] Dusty describes playing sold-out theater shows in Elkhart, Indiana, and Chicago, challenging his reputation as someone who doesn’t like big cities. He reflects on what it means to be a “consumer” in modern society.

5. Comments Segment: Scams & Audience Interaction

Scam Baiting Stories

• [24:12–36:35] The hosts share listener comments on scams, discuss YouTube scam-fighting channels, and recount personal experiences with digital scammers. Aaron describes “breaking” a scammer by responding poetically to a fraudulent podcast invite.
  • “Katie Couric does not want me on her podcast. Right? This is fake.” — Aaron ([29:09])
  • “Sometimes I think I’m not cut out for this industry. Thank you so much for your generous offer. And I pray that our paths will cross again soon…” — Aaron, mocking a scammer ([30:55])
  • “He rewrote the poem and made it a lot more aggressive — and about my mom and my wife.” — Aaron ([31:25])
• Dusty: “Magicians are the biggest scammers of all.” ([25:22])

"Pig-Butchering" Scams

• [34:49] Discussion of “pig-butchering” scams, where scammers try to slowly "fatten up" victims for a big loss.

Miscellaneous Comment Banter

• How to pronounce Dave Portnoy’s name; discussing “Banks of America” pluralization debate ([54:07–55:12]).
• Whether “wind chill” should affect freezing point perceptions ([52:54]).

6. What Defines a Neighborhood?

• [57:17–61:48] The group asks: "What makes a neighborhood?" Considering entrances/exits, HOAs, social networks, and geographic markers.
  • “The neighborhood I lived in, when you turn onto the street, it has a name. …then there’s an entrance and you’re in that neighborhood.” — Dusty ([57:35])
  • “You can be in the suburbs without being in a neighborhood.” — Dusty ([58:19])
• Wikipedia definition is cited — neighborhood as geographic and social: “[It’s] a set of social networks.” ([59:45])

Hierarchy:

• Family → House → Street → Neighborhood → Community → City → County → State → Country → (Region) → Continent → World ([60:32])

7. Community Pride & Sports Fandom

• [63:17–72:10] The hosts contemplate what it means to have pride in a neighborhood, city, or team — and why people so fiercely support college and professional sports teams even as everything around the team (except the name) changes.
  • “With a professional team, what does the 1980s Dallas Cowboys and the modern day Dallas Cowboys have in common? …What are you rooting for?” — Aaron ([66:15–67:12])
  • The consensus: It’s often about nostalgia, regional pride, or habit.

8. Good Neighbors, Bad Neighbors

• [75:06–85:45] The hosts swap stories of problematic, eccentric, or heroic neighbors.
  • Dusty: Story of a “pre-redneck” neighbor who left stuff everywhere, delayed taking down Christmas decorations, but also fixed Dusty’s air conditioner for free.
    • “Whatever you want to do in your backyard, that’s your business. But the front yard…match what everybody else is doing.” — Dusty ([77:10])
  • Aaron: Neighbor Ralph, who mistreated his dog but foiled a break-in at Aaron’s house.
  • “He did get divorced and that’s why they moved out. It was a very sad ending.” — Dusty ([83:58])
  • Discussion on how helpful or annoying neighbors can be.

9. Neighborhood Etiquette (Lawn Care, Noise, Etc.)

• [87:12–88:44] What's an acceptable time to mow your lawn or use a leaf blower? Dusty suggests 8–10am as a fair window and no noisy landscaping after dark.

10. TV Neighbors Hall of Fame

• [88:51–93:45] The guys discuss classic TV neighbors:
  • Wilson (“Home Improvement”) as possibly the best, always helping solve life’s problems.
  • Ned Flanders (“Simpsons”), Kramer (“Seinfeld”), Steve Urkel (“Family Matters”), and more.
  • Fan theories about character crossovers, e.g., “Family Matters” dad also appearing in “Die Hard” and “Crocodile Dundee.”

11. Neighborhood Watch, Trick-or-Treating, and Community Apps

• [93:34–99:49] The rise of neighborhood apps, neighborhood watch programs, and the changing nature of trick-or-treating logistics.
  • “If you own property, the property next to you you don’t own. But if you’re all in that neighborhood together…” — Dusty ([98:49])
• The origins—and sometimes checkered history—of HOAs.

12. Parenting/Neighbors in Practice

• [100:56–104:24] Brian describes two recent parenting/neighbor encounters: being asked to push a stranger’s kid on a swing; a stranger adjusting his daughter’s hood in cold weather. Dusty advises caution with other people’s kids, citing safety and social boundaries.

13. Gardening and Leaves

• [105:26–106:07] Dusty discusses composting leaves from his own and neighbors’ yards to enrich garden soil.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[On travel] I check in, I don’t know what’s going on, and then I just go. I’ll just go to the airport and see what happens.” — Brian ([07:17])
• “[On magicians] Magicians are the biggest scammers of all.” — Dusty ([25:22])
• “I had a guy come to my house one time, like a salesman… we sat there and talked for a long time on the front porch… and then at the end he goes to do the sales pitch and I go, ‘Hey, I told you this in the beginning.’” — Dusty ([28:29])
• “They added a third guy [security]. I had three security guys outside my door, in the green room, on each side of the stage.” — Brian ([16:06])
• “You start being like, ‘oh, voodoo doll. I’m stabbing this guy.’ I don’t like that.” — Dusty ([41:14])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:18 — Dusty’s Return and Banter About Absence
• 03:47 — David Arquette/Hollywood Movie Sidebar
• 07:17 — Travel, Airports, and Flight Anxiety
• 12:15 — Brian’s Trip to Canada
• 18:07 — Aaron’s Ohio Comedy Recaps
• 19:04 — Dusty’s Indiana & Chicago Reflections
• 24:08 — Comments, Audience Interaction, Scam Stories
• 34:49 — Pig-Butchering Scams Explained
• 57:17 — What Makes a Neighborhood?
• 63:17 — Community Pride & The Logic of Sports Fandom
• 75:06 — Good Neighbors, Bad Neighbor Stories
• 87:12 — Noise, Lawn Care, and Neighborhood Etiquette
• 88:51 — Legendary TV Neighbors
• 93:34 — Neighborhood Watch and Community Apps
• 100:56 — Parenting/Neighbor Encounters
• 105:26 — Composting, Using Leaves in the Garden
• 107:02 — Weekly Show Plugs & Upcoming Tour Dates

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Closing Thoughts

The episode is a quintessential Nateland blend of nostalgic storytelling, observational humor about suburban life, musings on community, and tangents into scams and pop culture. Each host’s personal perspective on neighborhoods—whether as a traveler, dad, or blue-collar Southerner—makes for a lively, relatable, and funny episode.

Show Plugs:

• Catch Dusty in York, PA and Tysons, VA
• Brian at Commonwealth Comedy Club in Dayton, KY
• Bates in Plano, TX, and Tacoma/Portland for a West Coast comedy run

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“Everything’s a scam out here… everywhere you turn, everybody’s trying to scam you, nickel and dime you...” — Dusty ([25:06])

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first there, the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes. Okay. Hello, folks, and hey, Bear. Welcome to the Nateland Podcast. My name is Dusty Sly, and I'll be your main host today. And I'm here with my co host, as always, Brian Breakfast Bates. All right. And Aaron the Grill Master Weber.

[B]

I'll take it.

[A]

You know what I mean? Breakfast and lunch here. I'm dinner. D for dinner.

[B]

D for dinner.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How about that?

[A]

That's very exciting. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's going to be a hot podcast. We're excited to be here. I've been gone a little bit. I wanted everyone to think I quit because Aaron diminished my accomplishments, and so I wanted people to think that I had quit.

[C]

Yeah, I kind of hate we did that little pre recording before the Leanne episode.

[A]

I know. Me and Brian actually had a private plan to make it seem we were not going to mention. Tried not to mention me being gone and just make it seem like I had slipped out.

[C]

Mine was a hopeful plan.

[A]

Yeah, I was. I didn't realize Brian really wanted me to quit. But a couple of the commenters were in on the scam, too. They go. They were like, I bet they fired Dusty.

[B]

Everybody's being phased out.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of those. Those were fun.

[B]

You were sick, though. You were sick.

[A]

I was sick last week. Yeah. And then one. One person said, dusty is either going to get fired or leave on his own. And I go, well, that's really the only two options. I mean, I guess there's the option of staying, but you're like, there's three things that could happen here, and I'm going to call two of them.

[C]

Well, the podcast could end, and that wouldn't really be either of those.

[A]

Yeah, but, you know, but then there's no one to call them out on that comment.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I got a DM the other day that said, hey, man, watching the podcast. I love the show. I'm rooting for you. You got to step it up, dude.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He said, I want you to be funny so bad. He's just kind of sweet.

[C]

Sign. Nate Bargetzi.

[A]

Yeah. Because if he does it, if he's not.

[C]

If.

[A]

If he doesn't think you're being funny, what's he rooting for? Like, and why?

[C]

Nice guy.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, maybe that's.

[B]

I think he's like, you seem like a sweet person, but you gotta get funny, dude. Step it up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I said, I appreciate it. Man, I'll be thinking about you.

[C]

He's like, I don't care for Dusty, but at least he's funny. Bring something to the table.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's too bad.

[C]

Well, you were out because one week we taped off week. One week we had.

[A]

Yeah, you had David Arquette on. And I knew it was going to be five people. And I had been gone a lot. And I am not into the scary movies. I'm not into horror at all. I did watch the first scary movie. You know what I liked David Arquette in? He was in a movie with Drew Barrymore called Never Been Kissed. You ever see that one?

[B]

No, no.

[A]

And he had a scene where he was like her brother and she was trying to go back to high school and, like, be cool, but she was really getting picked on or whatever, and he decided to go back to the same school to help her be cool.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I remember that movie.

[A]

And he, like, she's like, you just can't walk right in and be cool. And the next scene is him, like, finishing a big tub of coleslaw in the lunchroom as everybody cheers him on.

[B]

1999, this movie came out, and I.

[A]

Did want to talk to him about that.

[B]

It was a great year for movies. 1999, a lot happened.

[A]

This is a good movie. I liked it. I mean, I'm probably. It's probably a bit of a chick flick, and if I watched it now, I'd probably still like it, but I wouldn't admit it as much. But. And. But I liked it. So. Yeah, so that happened. I knew be a lot of people, and I needed to. I wanted to spend some time with my family. And then I. You filmed one on a weird day when I was on a corporate gig. And then last week I was sick, and it was. Last week was hard because I had a sore throat and my. My job is to talk.

[B]

That's the one thing that can't be sore.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, well, you. You threw me off because you're like, hey, guys, I'm sick. I'm not gonna make it. We're like, that's okay. And then you're like, a couple hours later, hey, guys, I think I can make it if y' all are cool with it. And we're like, yeah, we're all cool. And then I'm like, oh, okay, I'll put the dusty stuff back in. And then.

[A]

Sorry. Well, this is the thing. When I. I still have this, you know, whole real blue collar work thing about me, where even when I sold pesticides and I used to drink all the time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I still went to work. I would be hungover, but I still went to work. I'm not a call in sick guy. I don't feel good about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't. Like. I did five shows in Washington one time. Sick. Each show I felt a little worse than the last.

[B]

Would you rather do a weekend of shows with a sore throat or with a broken foot?

[A]

A sore. A broken foot, I think I never had a broken bone, so I don't know.

[B]

But you've never broken a bone?

[A]

No.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you torn a muscle or anything?

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I've.

[A]

I've rolled an ankle. I've been shot with a BB gun in the chest. I've been punched in the face a bunch.

[B]

Your appendix burst?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. I've had broken bones.

[A]

I've had both eyes swollen shut from what? Being punched in the face.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[A]

That's how I can.

[B]

You win somehow.

[A]

That's how I can handle, you know, reading bad comments about myself because I have been punched in the face.

[C]

Yeah. Times. Would you rather be punched in the face or read bad comments?

[A]

Well, I'd rather read bad comments. I'm gonna tell you, I don't like being punched in the face, but it has happened.

[B]

Do you think you're a better man now that you've been punched?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I used to get punched in the face when I'd be drinking and I would get real mouthy. I got punched way less than I should have got punched. Right, Right. So every time I go, I had that coming. I never. I never was like, I can't believe this. How dare I go. That should have happened. Y.

[C]

Finally.

[B]

It was not a sucker punch. There was a lot of lead up to it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was egging it on. Well, it's exciting to be back here, guys. It's good to see you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I got to dip out a little early today. I apologize in advance, but this is good.

[A]

You about to be sick about.

[B]

I feel sick. That's coming on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I got a corporate gig. I fly out to California if the flights survive. I don't know what's going on with all the flight situation right now. I check in, I don't know what's going on, and then I just go. I'll just go to the airport and see what happens.

[C]

You know, you would know by now. Right. I got an email from Southwest. Not that it means it's going to hold up, but I got email Yesterday saying, your flight on Wednesday is fine.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

That's good to know.

[A]

But the thing about airlines is, on Wednesday, they'll go. It's not fine now.

[C]

Right.

[A]

What are you going to do about it?

[C]

Yeah, but that could very well happen. Yeah.

[A]

What are you going to do?

[B]

Not go home.

[A]

That's exactly right. I mean, they don't care. I'm sure some people that work at the airline do care, but the airline itself, they don't care.

[B]

I think that. And then the second somebody cares too much, it really annoys me.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

The guy who's, like, doing jokes and stuff when people are boarding is too into it. You're like, dial it back a little bit.

[A]

Southwest, the worst.

[B]

Yeah, we do a lot of that.

[A]

Yeah. Because I'm like, guys, I appreciate it, but at the same time, I. I wish you weren't doing announcements at all. I wish you could just put it on the screen.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They do so many. You guys get the airport early.

[A]

Yeah, I'm chronically early.

[B]

I'm pretty early. I like to be the real early. There's no feeling worse than being in a rush at the airport.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or like having a run through the airport or just running in general. I don't.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Or just moving.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There's.

[B]

There's no worse feeling than urgency.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I hate it. And Brian is a guy that I would expect to be there early, but when we flew to Atlanta together that time, I was like, I was there for so long, and Brian showed up, like, right at takeoff time.

[B]

Takeoff.

[A]

Super cool. Chill. He's ready to go. Not a worry in the world.

[C]

Yeah. Nashville airport. I did not get there early. I mean, I've. I feel like I just got it down.

[B]

Okay. But you got to account for, you know, things can happen. Dude.

[C]

That's true. So I don't get there right when you're walking on the plane, but I get there.

[A]

See, I like to get to the airport. I like to get a coffee. I like to sit down.

[B]

People watch a little bit.

[A]

People watch, answer some YouTube comments, drink my coffee, pee three or four times, get on the plane.

[B]

I like to go think about buying a book. And then I don't.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Maybe I. Hey, I'm not. I'm just not gonna look at my phone this flight.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And just, like, read a book. Maybe a little. A little book of Sudoku puzzles.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then that doesn't happen.

[A]

I have three books in my bag.

[B]

What are they?

[A]

Well, one is. It's like, I don't know this author that you always hear his name. I forget it, but it was. Yeah, well, I have the Bible as one and one is like on like Stephen King. No, no, it's. I forget his name. I mean it's like a. A real writerly guy. Old. He's dead.

[B]

Writerly guy.

[C]

Is it fiction?

[A]

But it's. Yeah, it's like his drinking stories. But it's really well written.

[B]

Tucker Max who.

[A]

Nah, I'd have to look it up. And then I have a book on Christian orthodoxy that I actually, I've started reading the catechism something. I've started to read a couple of them and I like it. But. But it's easy to look at your phone, I'll tell you that. Easy to look at your phone.

[B]

The phone will get you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You read the first half of the Bible?

[A]

Well, I've read all of the Bible, but. But it took a while. Yeah, yeah. People get hung up that I only talk about the Old Testament, but I'm like everybody else is talking about the new testamen.

[B]

Balance it out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Come on guys, let's get with it.

[B]

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[C]

You want to talk about our weekends?

[A]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

Should I go first?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Well, I don't know if you're listening. I'm wearing a shirt that says Canada loves Brian Bates.

[A]

All right. You made that yourself?

[C]

No, that's a good guess. It's a good guess.

[B]

This was from he showed up to Canada.

[C]

Wear this because I wanted my name to be right. This is from Randy Drexler. Thank you. Randy came to the show and brought this. So I. Yeah. My first time ever in Canada.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

First time ever doing a show in any other country.

[B]

How did it feel? Did you like it?

[C]

I dipped my toe in the water.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I was in Leamington. I stayed in the town right next to it, Kingsville, which they say is the southernmost town in all of Canada.

[B]

It's the most American Canada you can be in. I don't know if that's true culturally.

[C]

But location, geographically, they say it's on parallel with Northern California. But I'll say this, though. I think I'd almost gotten my head because it. I flew into Detroit and just drove a short distance. That it would. That it would be no different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just. Yeah. Right down the road.

[C]

There was actually a little bit more differences than I anticipated.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Well, do you guys know what this is?

[A]

That's a poppy.

[B]

That's a flower pin.

[C]

Well, I guess technically you're both right, but yes, is a poppy that the lady comes in for the show and said, everybody want put. Put one of these on. And I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. And we have Veterans Day here. They have Remembrance Day, and everyone wears poppies. Not everyone.

[B]

Who are they remembering?

[A]

Veterans.

[C]

World War I.

[B]

Just World War I. I think it may have.

[C]

I don't know. I think it's just World War. Maybe it started during World War I and they remember all. Everyone who died in battle. But I'm not saying everyone in Canada was wearing one of these. But more than anything in America, like, I was flipping around the tv, all the news anchors were wearing one, People on the street were wearing them, and she put one on all of us.

[B]

Oh, that's pretty nice.

[C]

So that's something new.

[B]

It's like getting. It's like getting laid when you go to Hawaii.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

You know, I mean.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What else?

[C]

Well, like, just flipping around the TV and I'm like, where is Sports Center?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I couldn't find espn. I don't think they had it. But I finally found some alternative. And Sports center spelled C N, T, R, E. Oh, yeah. And even on my laptop, because it could tell I was where I was at. My trending topics were spelled different. Whoa.

[A]

Like, okay.

[C]

Favorite with a U. Yeah.

[B]

Color with a U in there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you try to watch YouTube, it'll be YouTube Canada. And you might not be able to get the same thing.

[B]

Ca.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then, like, you. Netflix is like, that too, you. It'll be a different. Like, they might not have the same things.

[C]

So the little subtle differences.

[B]

Yeah. Do you hear any French out there? Did you hear it?

[C]

Not where I was at. Yeah, they. They teased, I think. I don't know if they were. They said, canadians don't get sarcasm. I don't know that that's true. I think they were just saying that. But I want.

[A]

I don't think that's.

[B]

Sounds like they're being sarcastic.

[C]

Yeah, I think you're right.

[A]

Canadians have. I think I got so many comics in the US you know?

[C]

But when I walked in, it was at a church, and the guy took me in and he had to.

[A]

My wife's one of the most sarcastic people I've ever met.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

Okay. So it doesn't hold up. But anyway, so there was two. They had two security guys for me from the church. And I said to the guys, like, we're gonna need more security than this. Thinking, obviously, he got it. I'm joking.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I found out later that night, one of the security guys went to the pastor and said, he says, we need more security. We gotta get somebody. So they added a third guy. I had three security guys outside my door in the green room, on each side of the stage.

[B]

Was this armed security or are they just like. Well, just men.

[C]

No, this is. This is like.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's hilarious.

[B]

Brian Bates, bit of a diva.

[C]

Yeah. He's like, at three security guards.

[A]

I love that.

[C]

And then we went out to eat afterwards, and they're like, oh, this is a nice restaurant. And they're like, he's from Nashville. And she's like, really? And I said, yeah, I just drove here to try this place out. And she goes, really? And I'm like, no. So then I'm like, maybe they don't get sarcasm.

[A]

What was the point?

[B]

I don't think I got it just now.

[C]

We were just talking about how the restaurants, not. None of us had ever been there.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And then they're like, he's from Nashville. And I was like, I came here just to eat.

[B]

You drove up just for that restaurant?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Classic dad joke. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Great. It is, though.

[B]

It's a good dad to a server joke. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's like. It's not a bad hand in them.

[B]

An empty plate and going. I hated it.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Same. Same thing. Yeah.

[A]

What was the restaurant?

[C]

I don't remember the name of it, but it was just some Donalds. Tim Hortons. No, it was some local Place there.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And to that town.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's not like some Canadian chain.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But anyway, I had a great time in Canada thanks to Matt, who hired me. Thanks to Matt, who came and opened for me. Drove five hours from Rochester, New York.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

To do five minutes. So.

[B]

How about that?

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's dedication right there. Did he go. He just went through Canada up here. You can just go straight west from Rochester and get all. Or did he go all the way down through Cleveland?

[C]

Through Buffalo?

[B]

What?

[A]

Through Buffalo.

[B]

Through Buffalo, yeah. Yeah.

[C]

But that was my first time to ever go across customs. I did get to the airport early coming back because I had no idea how long it would take to get back.

[B]

Yeah. It's a whole product, and you're just being kind of swept along in it. Right. You never know how long it's going to take. Well, welcome back stateside.

[C]

Thank you. Pretty fun, eh? Sorry, guys. Canadian now.

[A]

Yeah, it is fun.

[B]

Well, I was in almost Canada this weekend. I was in Dayton, Ohio, Friday night at the Funny Bone in Toledo, Ohio, Saturday night at the Funny Bone, and then I had to drive back.

[A]

I love those clubs, by the way.

[B]

They are. They are good clubs. And the crowds were good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Toledo shows sold out, which is fun. And then just good shows. People are very nice people bought me brownies, which I ate, and then drove back out of gig here in town last night. It's been a busy, busy couple weeks. I feel like my. My head's not above water yet, but it was very fun. Thank you to everybody who came out. I loved Ohio so much. I'm coming back this weekend.

[A]

All right.

[B]

To Cincinnati.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So Ohio has a lot of clubs.

[A]

They do. They have a lot of cities. It's really great for comedy.

[B]

It's the epicenter of America. That's what they say.

[C]

They have a lot of funny bones.

[B]

They do have a lot of funny bones. A lot of funny people. What about you?

[A]

I went to Elkhart, Indiana, and actually had two theater shows. Sold out shows. Basically. Basically sold out. Chicago was sold out at Chicago on Saturday, Elkart on Friday. Really great.

[B]

Do you go to the RV hall of Fame like I suggested?

[A]

No, I didn't do anything. Okay. I don't really do anything when I go places. I should have did that. But, you know, by the time I had to, you know, I flew to. From Nashville to Charlotte, from Charlotte to South Bend, rented a car, drove to Elkhart. It's like, there's just not a lot of time left. Maggie Hughes DePaulo, who's done a Nate Land showcase set that's on YouTube. Open for me in both of those cities. She did great.

[C]

She's super funny.

[A]

She is super funny. Great shows. I liked both of these cities a lot. And you know what? I'm always a little freaked out by Chicago.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I walked around downtown, and I loved it. I was like, it. This trip. Really?

[B]

What time of night was it?

[A]

It was daytime. Okay. But it. I loved it.

[C]

I walked around, criticized me just a couple months.

[A]

Well, you were on public transportation, which still freaks me out in any city. But I took the train to the White Sox game.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I just said you were brave. That's all. I didn't criticize you. I mean, I think that was a compliment.

[C]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

But the. I walked around, got some steak and eggs at a restaurant, and I thought Chicago was great. I mean, people yelled out at me at my show the entire time. Yeah, they're pretty insane there about that. But they were yelling fun things. They were having a good time. They were yelling, we're having a good time a lot.

[B]

And your.

[C]

Your.

[B]

Your throat was sore. So you appreciated them helping out.

[A]

Yeah. By Chicago, my throat was good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But Elkhart on Friday, my throat was sore through the show in Chicago. I just kept having to cough the whole time. I felt like I was fighting a cough. This is. I hope this is the final stage of my sickness, coughing everything up. It's disgusting. But I hope that is what's happened.

[C]

You walk around Chicago just thinking, we're just all consumers out here.

[A]

Yeah, I did. I just think that all the time there was a line to get into. Like, people were waiting in line to get into the Lego store and. Yeah, I mean, I'm not criticizing.

[C]

You're like, Aaron.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not criticizing people. And I think some people took my tweet that way. I'm talking about myself, too. I order a lot of stuff off Amazon, and I'm always. But I'm just like, we're just out here buying stuff all the time. That's all we're doing. Just buying stuff, eating stuff.

[C]

Check out the Consumers podcast. Every Tuesday, Nateland Network.

[A]

Well, that's true. That's.

[C]

Which I was a guest on last week.

[A]

You were. You were there without Greg?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. First time. Greg wasn't there.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you were there. We gotta call in the big guns.

[A]

But I just want to say thank you to both of those cities, Elkhart and Chicago. That was great. Yeah, I had a lot of fun. You know, it's like the last time, two years ago, I was at the same theater, the Vic in Chicago, and sold probably a third of the tickets that I sold this time.

[B]

Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome.

[A]

It was great.

[B]

You see any Amish people out there on the way to Elkhart?

[A]

I didn't see any.

[B]

Yeah, they're out there, man. Yeah, they're slippery, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You got to be looking for them.

[A]

I see them in McMinnville.

[B]

Oh, okay. Yeah. You ever talked to him?

[A]

Once in a while. I went to kind of the Amish community.

[C]

Midnights.

[A]

No Amish and straight up.

[B]

Yeah, full blown.

[C]

Well, I'm talking about McMinnville.

[A]

McMinnville has Amish.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, full blown.

[C]

Oh, you know. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, I like to keep an eye on what.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. All right. What do you guys want to do?

[B]

Let's do some comments. Let's get into it, man. Let's get. Let's hear.

[A]

What do these people have to say?

[B]

Well, hold on. What's going on with Nateland these days?

[A]

Okay, well, I'll give you the news. Nateland presents the showcase. Season four is on sale.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

If you're in Nashville on February 22nd, 23rd, or 24th, come watch a show live. Come watch a live show.

[C]

And then February 25th, watch Nate's new game show.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

It's gonna be a big week.

[A]

Here we go. And this says, nate Big Dumb Eyes Tour just wrapped a great weekend of shows in Tacoma, Seattle, and Portland. Check out the tour vlogs every week on the Nateland YouTube channel. That's how people spell white on Twitter.

[B]

They do do that. Yeah. YT.

[A]

Yeah. New dates on sale for 2026. Get out there and catch a show. Well written.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Comments come From Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews, and [e-mail] M A I L. That's correct. All right, let's get started.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Nathan Taylor. This is the one side that Dusty. This is the one side that Dusty.

[C]

One time.

[B]

Okay, I think he meant to say sewed.

[C]

Oh, you know what? You're right.

[B]

This is the one sewed that Dusty should have been.

[C]

Okay, I think that must have. You didn't change that, did you? It did say so. And I see it's down here again. Change aside. Somehow it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I think Abby must have did that.

[A]

Maybe, you know, just spell out the whole word. You know, the person leaving this comment. Nathan Taylor. This is the one episode that Dusty should have been here for. First, it's about scams. Dusty probably has Lots of theories on scams. Second, Stephen was on the episode. I'd love to hear them discuss magic and. And tricks. Well, yeah, Nathan, good point, because everything is a scam out here. Yeah, everything. Everywhere you turn.

[C]

Been a long episode.

[A]

Yeah, everywhere. Everywhere you turn, everybody's trying to scam you. Nickel and dime you, take something from you.

[B]

That's the episode. Brian, just start naming stuff. I'll tell you if it's a scam or not. Name something.

[A]

Especially magicians.

[B]

Scam.

[A]

Magicians are the biggest scammers of all.

[B]

And I think they're one of the few types of people who are pretty upfront about it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Where you go, you're coming to see a show. I'm gonna perform.

[A]

That is true. And we have done an episode together, me and Steven. Mr. Bargazzi. Bargetzi. But. Well, I can call him Steven if I want to.

[B]

He prefers it. I called him Mr. Bargetzi at first, too. I don't think he likes it.

[A]

And we. I like talking to him about stuff. We actually have a lot of similar views. I read. I didn't watch the episode, but I read one comment where it seemed like somebody said, you have a lot of views like Dusty. And he said, that's disappointing.

[C]

He did say that. He was joking.

[B]

It was out of context.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Because I was like, we've talked before. We do have a lot of the same views.

[C]

Then he went ahead and said, we both think aliens are demons.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

So there you go.

[A]

I would say the only thing he's wrong about there is I would say I know they're demons.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And I think he knows it, too.

[C]

Dusty, do you. Are you familiar with the Opelika tech scammer?

[A]

No, I don't think so.

[C]

We talked about a little bit last week. This guy rolls into town in Opelika and says he's a former Google executive and he tricked a lot of people investing money into some bogus thing. Almost $2 million.

[B]

I think he came into a town like Opelika. He thinks I can take advantage of these people. I worked at Google. Yeah, they're going to. They're not even going to. They can't know what I'm talking about and get money from. Real dirt bag.

[A]

Yeah. What happened to him? Is he in prison?

[B]

Yeah, we got him good.

[A]

I'd like to know what prison. I'd like to visit him.

[C]

I think he's in Texas.

[A]

I think I'd like to visit him. Hey, I'm from Opelika. You're up there.

[C]

He's like good this guy. I'll trick him again.

[A]

Yeah, that would be funny, right?

[B]

You end up giving them commissary. You're like, how did that guy.

[A]

Okay. John, Mara, Josh. Yeah. Okay. Of. Of the two to get wrong Josh. You don't think it's Mara?

[B]

Could be more. It could be Mara. I think he knows that we're talking to him, right?

[A]

Yeah. Josh Martin's such a kind hearted guy. You don't know him. I could see him talking to a scammer via text for a long time. They'll end up having to block him.

[C]

Well, that is true. I've done that a few times.

[A]

Yeah, I mean I. Yeah, I mean I think that's the way to go. If they try to scam you, just, you know, keep talking to him.

[C]

Now somebody said that shouldn't do that. Any back and forth with them. They can get information from you. They at least know this is the right person.

[B]

I saw one. Somebody said they're literally just trying to get you to talk so that they can record your voice.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And. And use it for stuff.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So it's like you shouldn't even talk to those people at all.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I don't talk to any of my text about.

[B]

You text himself for.

[A]

Yeah. Pictures like what are you up to?

[C]

I started.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's your weekend? Do you follow up with him?

[A]

I had a guy come to my house one time like a salesman and he was like, I go, hey, listen, I'm not going to buy anything from you, but you know, I'm not going to be rude to you. You know, I know it's hot out here. I'll get you some water. We can talk if you want. And I got him some water and he's a young guy and me and him, we sat there and talked for a long time on the front porch.

[C]

I was bored.

[A]

I didn't have kids at the time and we were just talking. And then at the end he goes to go into the sales pitch and I go, hey, I'm not going to buy anything. And he was like so like offended. I go, I told you this in the beginning.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. I'm lonely, but I don't need your stuff.

[C]

Was this during COVID maybe?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I showed Brian this. This is. We're talking about these, these fake podcast invitations that you'll get emailed to. So I responded to one. This is about a month or so ago. This guy named Cole Mitchell sends me an email. He says, I'm the manager of next question With Katie Couric, a weekly podcast hosted by journalist and producer Katie Couric. This is a prepaid collaboration. We'll give you a small thank you for your time. I know right away this is not how Katie Couric would. Katie Couric does not want me on her podcast. Right. This is fake. So I responded. I said, my going rate for interviews like this are $30,000. And then he responds back, thank you for your response. Since this is a virtual appearance, the maximum budget we're able to offer is $4,000. So, I mean, he's gone up a thousand on me. He said, that works for you. We'd like to move forward. Blah, blah, blah. I said, because I'm such a giant fan of Katie Kirk, I'm willing to lower my appearance fee from 30k to 4k. Would you be willing to discuss a crypto payment? I do this. I'm just back and forth with this person. Cole finally says, thank you for getting back to us. I believe there's been a misunderstanding. Katie Couric's not involved with any cryptocurrency. Blah, blah, blah. From your message, it sounds like you may not be genuinely interested in participating in the interview, and that's okay. We wish you the best in your career moving forward. So then I respond, Rats. Another golden opportunity blown. I'm sorry, I overplayed my hand here. Wow. What a miscalculation on my part. Sometimes I think I'm not cut out for this industry. Thank you so much for your generous offer. And I pray that our paths will cross again soon, in this life or the next. May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. The rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I think I'm on coal side at this point.

[B]

And then I'm not going to show you. I'm not going to show it on the podcast, but I want you guys to just read what Cole Mitchell.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I got a. I broke this guy. Whoever this guy is pretending to be Cole Mitchell. He had it, dude. He sent me. I'll say this.

[C]

Pretty good point.

[B]

He rewrote the poem and made it a lot more aggressive. And about my mom and about my wife.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Pretty horrific. And then my manager, who's on the email thread of all this, he's like, I've never seen one of these guys break before.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And then once they wrote that, you're like, well, clearly English is Not this person's first language. This is a foreign guy pretending to do this.

[C]

I would love it if right after this, Nate called you said, hey, I was just talking to Katie Kirk. She really wants you on her podcast. What's the hold up?

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I. I mean, this is.

[B]

That's crazy, right? It's. I wish I could tell you guys what it says. It's. It's pretty funny, but it is. It's wild.

[A]

It's very filthy.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

But. Wow.

[C]

Yeah, usually they just move on.

[B]

They just move on. But something about that. That Irish. That Irish prayer. Really? This guy snapped.

[A]

Dude, he's a demon.

[B]

I mean, he might be.

[A]

Send a prayer as well.

[B]

He might be. Yeah, that'll do it.

[A]

Oh, Cole Mitchell, get it together, buddy. You should. You should follow up there and go. Well, I'll. I'll let Katie Couric know about that.

[C]

I'm gonna speak to your supervisor.

[B]

Yeah, I'll just leave that up on the TV for a while.

[A]

Okay, keep going. Rachel Walston. This podcast works because of Aaron's laughter. Thanks, Aaron.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Yeah, that's really nice.

[B]

I think.

[A]

I think so, too, you know, Very nice. Not.

[B]

Not my comedy.

[A]

Not your ability to bring laughter, but your ability to laugh.

[B]

Well, y' all need somebody to bring it, too.

[A]

The podcast works in. Like, if this were a comedy show. She's saying, you're the audience.

[B]

You're like a good crowd that's sitting on the stage with the com.

[A]

Thank you, audience.

[B]

I appreciate that, Rachel. Now she's being nice.

[A]

She is being nice, and she's right. Rachel Woolston. All right. Ryan Oglesby.

[B]

Great name.

[A]

Yeah. I got an Oglesby in my family.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. First name, last name.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's my. Be. My half uncle. I think this is like, he has a different. Like, his mom is my grandmother, but he has a different dad.

[B]

Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, he's. He's in the family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He. He died, too.

[B]

But.

[C]

I'm glad you brought all this up.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. There's a channel on YouTube called Scammer Payback.

[B]

I've seen him.

[A]

He calls scammers, tracks them down, and pinpoints their exact locations. He'll lock them out of their computer, a virus, and even permanently shut down their networks. He's done it enough that scammers know him by name and even have his live stream going during their calls.

[B]

Yeah, I've watched that guy. He's incredible.

[A]

What. What do they. What do you mean? He has their. They have his live stream going during.

[B]

Their calls because he will do all this on a live stream, and they know about him. So just to make sure they're not being messed with by him, they'll. They'll be watching him. Oh, yeah. And then they would know that it's. This is who they're dealing with.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

That's pretty cool. C. Bailey. I follow people who fight against scams called scam baiters. The scam with the high want to go fishing? Is actually a long scam that takes a while. It's called the pig butchering scam because they want the victim to be nice and fat, figuratively speaking, before they go in for the kill.

[B]

We're looking for a sweet idiot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To just take advantage.

[A]

Are these two different scams?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

High, I want to go fishing and the pig butchering. Or is this.

[B]

No, that's what they call. That's a type of a pig butchering scam.

[A]

So they start a scam with high want to go fishing?

[C]

I got one. I. I sent. I showed a bunch of texts I got last week from people that will send you a text question, acting like they got the wrong number.

[A]

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[C]

And that was one of them. I got. Want to go fishing tomorrow? Or something like that.

[A]

Oh, see, I got some of those a couple of times too. And I just. I. I play around with them a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, so you can get them to break like I did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Pretty fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're. You're nice and fat to these guys, right?

[C]

Yeah, they go, yeah, they're right.

[A]

So what do they do? They, they, they. They text you that, and then you go, oh, I'm sorry, you got the wrong number. And then they go, oh, oh, no worries.

[C]

Yeah. The very first time I ever got one, I did reply like, hey, I'm sorry. I think you got the wrong number. And they're like, oh, so sorry to bother you. I'm like, no problem. But then they, like, followed up with something else. Like, I don't know. Like, that's when I was like, why would you keep still be talking to me when you. I've already told you, you got the wrong number. Yeah, that's what I realized. And since then, I've gotten. Yeah, we got a sucker here on the line. Oh, yeah, just keep going.

[A]

Yeah, see, I've gotten them. Like, they'll go like, hey, will Gene be coming with you to the party tonight? And I'll go, Yep, see, at 8, you know, and then they go, oh, is this. Is this Jim? Yes, Jim.

[B]

Yeah, it's me.

[C]

Yeah, I will get Some sometimes, like on Facebook, and she'll be like, do we know each other? We keep coming up in our recommended friends or something like that, you know, And I was like, yeah, you were in my wedding. Or, you know, stuff like that. So I kind of do the same thing.

[A]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. I like that.

[C]

It's kind of fun.

[A]

I think it's fun, too. Even a scammer needs a little entertainment.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

You know, they deserve it.

[B]

It's got to be a boring job.

[A]

Yeah. How are you preparing for the cold season?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

We tend to spend time indoors, so why not stay comfortable inside with your Helix mattress? This is the perfect time to invest in a new mattress. We all know how important good sleep is, but this happens to also be cold and flu season. Don't get caught on a terrible mattress, Right? Oh, I've been sick. I was sick. Last week. Wasn't here. And you know what? I was laying on my Helix mattress, and it felt good. Sure. My wife had to be with both of the kids, and I wasn't even that sick, but it felt good to lay there, you know, because the Helix mattress is good.

[B]

Yeah. And the pillows don't even get me started.

[A]

Well, it improved how I sleep. And everyone knows how I love their pillows. You know, I do love them. Everyone knows it. You know it. You knew it. That's why you brought it up.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Because you love the pillows, too. But you knew that I love them.

[B]

But I knew that you especially liked them.

[A]

Yeah, we talk about it all the time. But taking the Helix sleep quiz is so easy, and it helps you pick the perfect mattress for you. Helix is the most awarded mattress, brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. Plus, Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the.

[B]

US I was wondering why you hit those so hard. They're underlined in the ad read.

[A]

I really do love my Helix mattress. I've had it almost three years now, and it's going strong. And it keeps going.

[C]

Well, that is true.

[A]

Keeps going, Gets stronger all the time.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Go to helixsleep.com nate for the black Friday sale Best of the web and get 27% off site wide. This is exclusive for listeners of the N Land podcast. That's how helixsleep.com Nate oh, that's helixsleep.com Nate For 27% off site wide, make sure you enter our name into the post purchase survey so they know we sent you. Helixsleep.com Nate oh, Tavin Dillard. I know, Tavin.

[C]

You Do?

[A]

Yeah. Taven's comedian.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

A buddy of mine got a magic set on vacation in Gulf Shores. Where do y' all draw the line at? Magic. He can make it look like his hand ain't even connected to his body.

[B]

Does sound like a buddy ear, like.

[A]

Like it's floating. I can't handle it. But what's the line? Is there a line in your mind when it comes to magic?

[C]

Yeah, it was kind of fun last week. Dusty. Stephen called up some dark magic, and.

[B]

He didn't do it.

[C]

No, no, I'm joking. Are you okay?

[A]

Yeah, I'm fine.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I'm totally fine, guys. I'm still sick, but I'm fine.

[C]

No, I'm joking about that. But what's. I'm sure the girl line's a little bit.

[B]

My line is hurting somebody. Like, if you cause harm to somebody.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I think he's asking how much before it freaks you out.

[A]

Well. Oh, yeah. I mean.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I think that's what he's getting.

[B]

I mean, I want to be freaked out. That's the point. I want to be amazed.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There was. I went to see a magic show. I talked about this in Vegas, and.

[B]

Oh, that limb.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And he was very good. And, you know. But he had a guy, like, kind of hosting the show. And that guy would. At one time, he had, like, a little voodoo doll.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he had a guy come sit in the audience. And I'm sure it's all a scam and a joke, but I was not into that. Yeah, I don't do any. I don't like any voodoo stuff.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You got a little card trick or whatever. I'm into it. But you start being like, oh, voodoo doll. I'm stabbing this guy. I don't like that.

[B]

Think of a number. Don't say that. Between 50 and 100.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Where both digits are even.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And they're not the same digit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

68 now.

[A]

Very close.

[B]

That have been pretty good.

[A]

62.

[B]

Oh, okay. You went down. All right. How about that?

[A]

I started at 70.

[B]

Could have been really great. I bet I got some people listening.

[A]

I was at 75 when you said it. And then I thought, no, I don't want to be right in the middle.

[B]

I got one more for you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Think of a number between 1 and 10.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Multiply it by 9.

[C]

This is the one I was about to do.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

I couldn't remember. Go ahead.

[B]

Multiply by nine.

[A]

Okay. Hold on.

[B]

You can play along at home, too, if you like.

[A]

Okay. Give me A second, though.

[B]

Between one and ten. Multiple it by nine.

[A]

Well, I don't pick a low number. There's only ten to choose from. I don't tell you. Don't tell me to pick a low one.

[C]

You seem like you're having trouble multiplying by nine.

[A]

You know, we're doing a.

[B]

Math is the last math part of it.

[A]

We're doing a magic trick. And then all of a sudden they're like, oh, how well can you do multiplication tables? And I'm like, well, now, you know it's a high number because otherwise it'd be easy to do. But let me do it. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Now take the square root of that. I'm just kidding. Okay. Okay. So you have. You multiplied it by nine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have a new number.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Add the two digits together.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

From that number, subtract five.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now, if A is 1, B is 2, C is 3, etc. Etc. Etc. Figure out your letter. Now, if A is 1, B is 2, C is 3, D is 4, E is 5, etc. Etc. Figure out your letter.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Now think of a country in Europe that starts with that letter.

[C]

Jazz. Probably pick the wrong person.

[B]

Dude, are you playing too? Yeah, I know. You know how it works. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You got a country in Europe?

[A]

I don't even know what countries are in Europe.

[B]

Any country?

[C]

No. Okay.

[B]

I'm looking for Europe, though.

[A]

I mean, I don't even know if countries start with this letter.

[B]

I think something went wrong.

[A]

Yeah, maybe my multiplication was wrong.

[B]

Okay, well, think of.

[A]

Okay, I got one.

[B]

Okay, you got a country.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now with the last letter of that country, think of an animal that starts with that letter.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Now with the last letter of that animal, think of a color that starts with that letter.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Okay. Orange. Kangaroos in Denmark.

[A]

Nah.

[C]

Something went wrong.

[B]

What'd you get?

[A]

Yeah, I got gold. Is the color. Go. I went gold. Dog. England.

[B]

What was your original number?

[A]

I don't want to tell you the original number now because I wonder.

[B]

Some math went wrong.

[A]

I feel like some math went wrong.

[B]

That's okay. It's not that great of a trick anyway. It's always more fun if you get it wrong.

[C]

You throw them off, though, because you said any country, and it has to be a country.

[B]

Starts with D. Right. But if he didn't know Denmark, I don't think he'd know.

[A]

See, I had. I had five.

[C]

Dominican Republic.

[A]

My number was five.

[B]

Right.

[A]

By the time I did the. Adding the two together.

[B]

Yeah. And then subtract five, but I think.

[A]

I. I should have. I subtracted. Wrong.

[B]

The trick in that is any number multiplied by always adds up to nine.

[A]

I think I had 63.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But then.

[B]

So seven was your number.

[A]

But then somehow when I added it, it switched to 64.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And I got 10.

[B]

Well, that'll do it. Yeah, that'll mess it up.

[A]

Yeah. Sorry.

[B]

What a fun ride, though.

[A]

Yeah, that was fun because I was like, what country? In Europe? And then I was like, England, but England. I don't even know if that's really a country now. Is it?

[B]

It's.

[A]

They call it the uk.

[B]

Uk. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I think it works.

[B]

Be funny if you was your letter. You're like, wait, hold on.

[C]

Uruguay. I was going to say, I think it works because Denmark is the obvious country you think of in Europe with D. Right. Or any country, really. D. It's probably the first one you'll think of. Kangaroo is definitely. You could say koala.

[A]

You could say multiplied by nine. It always equals.

[B]

It always equals nine. So that's. That's the whole trick of it.

[A]

Okay. D. McCleary, I think Nate is big enough now that you guys can get Oz on the podcast. I would love to see Nate and Dusty's reaction when he guesses Dusty's pen.

[B]

Well, I went down. I've been down a rabbit hole about that guy. He's incredible. I'd love to have Oz the Mentalist on. I'd love to have that guy on. Just.

[A]

I don't want to be on.

[B]

You wouldn't want to be around him? No, it's just magic. It's just a. Magic. Just like doing a card trick.

[A]

Steven is about as far magic as.

[B]

I want to go, but he's not even the. He's just. It's just like reading people. It's just like looking at you, and I can kind of just get it.

[C]

But some people. I don't know how he does it. People commented that it's also bogus. I mean, obviously it's bogus in the sense he's not really reading your mind. But they implied that he. Like, it's not even as impressive as it looks.

[B]

Pretty impressive. But, I mean, I get what you.

[C]

Mean, and it's not me saying that, but people are saying that once you learn how he does it, it's. Yeah, it's not even.

[B]

I hope I never learned how he does it, because I. I enjoy watching this stuff.

[C]

Yeah. I called him Dr. Oz last week. Did you really?

[A]

I read that comment. What is. Who. I don't know. I never heard of this guy, I know the wizard of Oz and I know Dr. Oz.

[B]

So Oz the Mentalist is his name. He'll go to, like, NFL teams and be like, you know, who's somebody from your childhood? And then he'd write it down before they say it. It's just like, stuff like that. And. But he'll. The trick that he's been doing, he went on Joe Rogan and guessed Joe Rogan's pin number.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And got it right. So he's just. He's just good at, like, reading people and. And I'm sure there is some trickery, some lying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it's all for entertainment.

[A]

That's where I draw the line. Taven Entertainment.

[B]

Entertainment.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Dusty does not like to have fun.

[A]

No. Okay. Erud e r u D erred erd. The Bucky's bathroom debate was one of those times. I wish Aaron was quicker to use Google to get an answer to something. Buc EE's does not have free Wi Fi as part of a larger company policy to maintain a safe and secure environment by preventing guest from parking for extended periods.

[B]

I did not know that. That's incredible. I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot.

[A]

I missed this debate, but I like it too. Yeah. I mean, people would just park and hang, and they'd be out in their car playing online video games.

[B]

Well, somebody wrote in and said that. They. Their. Their conspiracy they can't prove is that BUC EE's, there's something about the stalls that will block your cell phone signal. Because anytime they've been in the stall In a Buc EE's, they can't get a signal, and they think that's by design so that people don't stay in there.

[A]

Well, I love that because that's. I mean, when I go to the airport and I'm in the bathroom, I do this all the time. I did it. I go. I said to the guy standing there, I go, all of these are full. You know, in a way to let the people in the stall know, hey, people are waiting out here.

[B]

You're just clearing your throat, basically. Yeah. Letting them know, oh, all.

[A]

All the stalls are being used right now. The guy got very uncomfortable when I did it.

[B]

Oh, there's a gross man in every one of these stalls right now. All right, good.

[A]

I did kind of call out a guy for peeing on the seat.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, kind of. I go, jeez, Pete. All over the seat, and the guy's still walking to the bathroom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, good. Yeah. Okay. Justin Short wife and I Went on vacation recently and decided to test your theory on organic coffee. We bought a bag of whole bean coffee and ground it up myself. Best coffee we've ever had. Thank you, Dusty. Yeah, it's the way to go. If you can buy organic whole bean coffee and then just get a grind, grinder's like 20 bucks okay.

[B]

On.

[A]

On Amazon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You keep it in the freezer.

[C]

That's what I do twice daily.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[C]

Pick it up for me. Yeah, that's the way to go. That's.

[A]

That's gut rock coffee is what they call that. And then you, You. You grind it up and then put it right in the coffee pot. And, you know, you know, the hope is, who knows? But the hope is with organic, there's no pesticides. There's no other, you know, crap on it. So that's the way to go. Good job, Justin. Good job doing that, Andy. Babos. Babos. Brian's pronunciation of Dave Portnoy's name on the Connecticut episode reminds me of him and his pronunciation of poem. Please have Brian read this sentence. Portnoy poetically recited a poem.

[C]

Portnoy poetically recited a poem.

[A]

That's very good. Yeah.

[C]

I think if you had to sit it right in front of me, I might have not been that close.

[B]

How did you say Dave Portnoy the first time?

[C]

It was port or.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we laughed about it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember thinking it was point. No point.

[A]

No.

[C]

Poin.

[B]

Poem. Poem.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That guy seems to be spiraling. I see him on the Internet. Like, I don't know.

[B]

He just stay port.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's got a lot going on.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, like, he was like, king of pizza and sports, and he seems to be kind of spiraling. He was like, fixing a fence or something on the beach and he couldn't do it.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Martha's vineyard.

[A]

Yeah. Tide 99, 2 0. Tied 9, 9, 2, 0.

[B]

Okay, let me ask you a question. 9920. Let's say you're staying at an Airbnb for the weekend, and that's the code to get in the house. How do you remember 9920? How would you do that in your head?

[A]

I think I'd say 9920.

[B]

99. And just say it enough. You wouldn't.

[A]

9, 9, 2, 0.

[B]

You wouldn't do any kind of, like, naming. I would go, Aaron Judge. 2, 0. Think about. Because Aaron Judge is number 99. You never do that.

[C]

I do like the code at my daughter's Daycare is two people in my family's ages, okay? So I do remember it that way like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But if it's something that won't work next year, though, you're right. And if it's something that's not obvious to me, then I just do like Dusty and just try to split it.

[A]

Up and nine, nine, two, zero. You just say it a few times. Nine, nine. You try to say it in a funny way. Nine, nine, two, zero. And now it's. Well, yeah, you don't wanna. You don't want to say it wrong.

[B]

I gotta ran for president. That one's another 999. What I'm talking about.

[A]

No.

[B]

Herman Cain, maybe.

[A]

Oh, Herman.

[B]

Oh, yeah, 999 plan.

[C]

Rest in peace.

[B]

I'm gonna follow. I want to see if you remember that number in a few minutes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Not Todd9920. If the actual temperature is 35, but the wind chill is 32, then some would say the temperature is actually 32. The problem with doing that is that the laws of physics do not work that way. Just because the wind chill is 32 degrees, that does not mean that the water will freeze. Water will only freeze when the actual temperature is 32 degrees.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

Oh, I see why you didn't put your real name on there.

[C]

That's funny.

[B]

He's made a good point, though.

[C]

He has. It feels like.

[A]

Yeah, he has. Appreciate that, Todd. Nine, nine, two, zero. Matt. Bud. I like that name.

[B]

This Bud's for you.

[A]

Remember that?

[B]

This is the greatest commercials ever. These buds for you. Remember that song?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you, and you and you. I don't you remember the song? This buds for you.

[C]

I mean, I think that's been around.

[B]

Forever, so I know the saying is. But there was a song. There was a really great song.

[C]

Go ahead, Dusty.

[A]

If you had a Bank of America right next to another bank of America, would you say there two Banks of America or two bank of Americas?

[C]

I would say there are two bank of Americas.

[B]

That's. That's how I would say it too, because I think the name of it is bank of America.

[A]

Yeah, I think so too. Chances are. I wouldn't say either of those things, but. But I, you know, I see what he's. The question he's posing.

[C]

But I mean, why wouldn't you say it?

[A]

Why would I need to, though?

[C]

But in this. In this scenario, if. If there's two banks on those streets, what are they?

[B]

I wouldn't answer.

[A]

Yeah, but who's. Who's asking what the two banks are. There's two banks there. What are the banks?

[C]

This is like the folding the paper to the moon. It's just.

[A]

Yeah, it's like. What are the banks? Well, it's. They're both bank of America. That's what I would say.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[A]

There's two banks here. They're both bank of America.

[B]

Okay, there you go.

[C]

There.

[A]

Two. Two banks of America.

[C]

Oh, let's see. That's.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You just answered his question.

[A]

I know, but I. I don't think I would ever do it that way.

[C]

All right, this.

[A]

And also, why would there be two bank of America's on the same street?

[B]

I don't think they have to be on the same street side by side.

[C]

I mean, I think he was or. Go ahead.

[B]

Remember the song.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Now sounds like a 90s rock.

[B]

This came out in 1999.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

This Bud's for you, man.

[C]

All right. This week. Oh, sorry.

[A]

Back when the country was good.

[B]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Shorter days do not have to be so dismal. It's time to reach out and check in with those that you care about, like these two guys at the table. And to remind ourselves that we are not alone. As seasons change and days grow darker sooner, it can be a tough time for a lot of people. I know around the holidays, a lot of people tend to get seasonal depression.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And this November, BetterHelp is encouraging everyone to reach out. Check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones, remind the people in your life that you're there. Just as it can take a little courage to send that message or grab coffee with somebody you haven't seen in a while, reaching out for therapy can probably feel difficult too, but it's worth it. And it's. It always almost leaves people wondering, why didn't I do this Sooner? With over 30,000 therapists, better help is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms. They've served over 5 million people globally, and it works with an Average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Pretty big sample size. 4.9 out of 5 this month. Don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Nate that's betterhelp.com Nate this week.

[C]

Dusty just moved to a new house. His new tour is called the Neighborhood Guy thought it'd be a good time to talk about neighborhoods.

[A]

That's true. It's called the Neighborhood Guy Tour. Dusty Slay dot com. Get in on it. I did move out of the neighborhood, but I'm still somewhat.

[C]

Well, all right, that's my first question. What makes a neighborhood a neighborhood?

[A]

Well, I think, you know, the neighborhood I lived in, when you turn onto the street, the neighborhood has a name.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think it has to have an hoa, but I think that that further solidifies that it's a neighborhood. But when you turn in, it has. And then there's like an entrance in, and then you're in that neighborhood, and then there's one way out. There might. Maybe there's two ways out, but you're. You're pulling into the neighborhood or you're pulling out of the neighborhood.

[C]

Yeah, I think yours was definitely a neighborhood, but I don't think you have to have all that for it to be a neighborhood, especially one way in or out. I think neighborhoods can. Multiple ways out.

[B]

I just think the houses have to be grouped in an obvious way, and then that's the neighborhood.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But I think you can be in the suburbs without being in a neighborhood, because that's what I am now. I'm in the suburbs, still very close to a neighborhood, but I'm, you know, I'm just on a street.

[B]

So you're not even really the neighborhood guy anymore.

[A]

No.

[B]

You're the suburb guy. Yeah, but that doesn't sound as good now.

[A]

And matter of fact, I just hate coming up with tour names.

[B]

Oh, yeah, me too.

[A]

So I just.

[C]

So this whole thing's a scam.

[A]

I told you, everything's a scam.

[B]

Even me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Don'T go. See, Dusty is a scam.

[A]

No, the show's great.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the show's great. Yeah. The show's not a scam. Yeah, you're getting your money.

[A]

Matter of fact, the one scam there's not is. And I'm gonna say all of our shows, it's coming to see our shows. Paying the money.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Seeing the show because it's money well spent.

[C]

How much time did you do?

[A]

I did about an hour 25.

[B]

Each show with a sore throat.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Gives the people what. What they want.

[A]

Yeah, man, I'm into it. I got a great Pitbull joke now. I'm really into it.

[C]

Let's hear.

[A]

I want to talk about it.

[B]

How long is it?

[C]

I'm sorry I brought it up.

[A]

Yeah, it's pretty long.

[B]

It's a long bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it a story, or is it.

[A]

Just talking about a little bit of everything?

[B]

Oh, okay. Nice.

[C]

Well, researchers have not agreed on exact definition, but.

[B]

Researchers?

[C]

This is from Wikipedia.

[B]

That's what we're trying to figure out. What's a neighborhood?

[C]

All right, Nate, neighborhood is generally defined spatially as specific geographic area and functionally as a set of social networks.

[B]

Okay. Like if you share a school system or fire department.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Or a water tower, things like that.

[C]

Maybe a church.

[B]

A church. There you go. Grocery store. Yep. See, I. I think a couple banks of America.

[A]

I think that is like a community. That's what I think of a neighborhood is. Is further broken down than that to me.

[C]

Yeah, I guess that is true. I mean, I live in West Meadow.

[A]

I'd say that's a community.

[C]

That's a community.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So start at your family. Build it all the way up to America. Give me all the layers. You got your family. It's your wife and your kids.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Your house.

[B]

What's the next level?

[A]

Your street.

[B]

Your street. What's after that?

[A]

Your neighborhood. Your community.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Your city.

[B]

Okay. Nothing between community and city.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

District or anything. You don't care about all that?

[A]

I think district might eat. Could. Well, depending on how big the city is. Okay, Right. Because it's like, you know, if we're talking New York City, then you got burrows.

[B]

Oh, boroughs. Right, right, right.

[A]

But I don't think most cities are falling.

[B]

You're going right to city, and then.

[A]

Because, like, community. Like, I'm in Hermitage, but it's part of city of Nashville.

[C]

Right. So was Westmead.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then what's after that?

[A]

County.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

State. Country.

[B]

You don't go. You don't. Southeast, I guess you go.

[A]

I guess you could still go Region.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Region. Yeah. Country, continent, World.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Universe, Galaxy. Oh, yeah, galaxy. Solar system.

[A]

You lose me there, but solar system, galaxy, universal universe.

[C]

Multiverse. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, yeah, Yeah. I stop at world, but yeah. Yeah.

[C]

So neighbor would be people in your neighborhood.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I would say even neighbor, though, if you're in the neighborhood but you're not, you're on another street. You're not necessarily my neighbor.

[B]

What do you call that guy?

[A]

I mean, you're in the neighbor. He lives in the neighborhood.

[C]

But he's not my neighbor.

[A]

No, technically.

[B]

Yeah. Your neighbors with Kevin, right? Nah, he lives in my neighborhood, but nah.

[C]

That's what Jesus said. He said your neighbor is either the guy lives on the left of you or the right of you. And that's it.

[B]

He said, jesus said, love thy people on your street. Yeah.

[C]

Nobody else.

[A]

You can't get biblical with it when, you know.

[C]

I'm sorry, Getting biblical. You dusty.

[A]

Well, I mean, when, you know, we're. Because we even have a different definition of neighbor now, I think, than biblically speaking. I mean, when they were. People were trying to call Jesus out, they were like, well, who's my neighbor?

[C]

And he said, everybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you've taken a different route.

[B]

Well.

[A]

Well, I think in terms. I don't think Jesus was thinking neighborhood.

[C]

Probably not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's thinking about counties.

[C]

He's thinking of school, district.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You talk about the Good Samaritan.

[A]

Oh, that's interesting, though, when. With district, because I don't know. I think district and community could be the same.

[B]

Okay. Which one are you most proud? I mean, it's interesting. It's like, I feel like there's a lot of. You have pride in your family, right?

[A]

And you have.

[B]

Have. You have pride on these different. But I don't know if I have pride of, like, I don't have Mount Juliet pride, and that's where I live, but I'm proud of Tennessee.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If you live there long enough and your kids went to school there, you might start getting some.

[A]

Yeah. Your kid goes to the high school. You know, she plays on a team or. Or is in. In band, and you go to a. A competition somewhere, and you're like, well, the Mount Juliet Tigers and whatever they.

[B]

Are, I was seeing. Because I used to work at a country. Oh, I worked at a country club in the Nashville area right out of high school and. Or during college, too.

[A]

And I.

[B]

And. And they would do these, like, events at the country club, and they would talk about it, like, it like they were like, we're a proud. Like they're. Yeah, we're a proud community. And you're like, well, there's a country club that you pay to be a part of. But they had a sense of community in that. I just thought that was interesting.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I don't know if they should have or not, but they seem to be having a good time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You've lived. Well, not that many places have you grew up in Alabama and then Alabama here.

[B]

And that's pretty much it.

[C]

Besides college.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I grew up only here, so it probably makes it easier to have pride.

[A]

And think you have more Lebanon. Lebanon pride or Nashville.

[B]

When you meet people and they say, where are you from? You say Nashville. Yeah. You don't say Lebanon.

[C]

If. If it's someone here. I say Lebanon, but if it's some other state, I say I'm from Nashville.

[B]

Okay. I would go the other way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would say I'm from Lebanon.

[A]

You know, Nate.

[B]

Nate has always said Old Hickory. I always thought that was interesting.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I mean, I think that just sounds more interesting.

[A]

But he says Old Hickory. But if you were actually just talking to somebody and they go where you live in Tennessee, I think you would say to Nashville.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, it makes sense.

[C]

I mean, they're not going to know where Lebanon is, and you got to get in the whole conversation.

[B]

Yeah. And then you can have a chance to, you know, evangelize for your town.

[C]

I guess that's true. But if you ask me, where'd you grow up? And I said Lebanon, I wouldn't talk to you like that.

[B]

I would never ask.

[C]

You'd ask me if there's two banks of America.

[B]

How many banks of America did you have in Lebanon?

[C]

Yeah, But. Yeah, I have pride in that. Have pride in. I tried to in my alma mater, mtsu.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

It's kind of tough these days in sports, but if they ever get good again, I'll.

[A]

Have they been good in the past?

[C]

They've had moments. We had one of the biggest upsets ever in march madness, like, 10 years ago.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And a couple years ago, I guess more than a couple. We beat Miami in football when they were top 25.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

But it's few and far between.

[B]

This is why I've always thought college sports made more sense to me than professional sports. Part of it is growing up in Alabama where there are no professional sports. But I always thought, you're an MTSU fan in 1980 and you're MTSU fan now. What has stayed the same about, like.

[C]

For the record, I was not. I'm not that old.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's just Even a random.

[C]

Okay. I just wanted to make that clear.

[B]

What I'm saying is, like, the institution MTSU has persisted the entire time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're not rooting for that particular roster on the team. With a professional team. What does the 1980s Dallas Cowboys and the modern day Dallas Cowboys have in common? It's literally. It's the owner, and there's like, none of those players are still on the team. It's not even the same stadium. So, like, what is it? What is it that you're rooting for.

[C]

If you're a fan of that team the whole time?

[B]

Yeah. What is the fandom based in? Because there's no institution that Persists the entire time. Does that make sense at all? There's nothing underneath it?

[A]

Well, if you live in that city, yeah.

[B]

But it's just. It's just there in the city. It's not, is it? Do you think of it as, like, the city's team?

[A]

I think people do.

[B]

But this is like, the team. It's America's team, the official team of the city. And so if I root for the Titans, I live in Nashville, I will root for the team. Nashville's team, the Titans.

[A]

I get that's the program.

[B]

But I think that that's. But. But, like, what do. What's the city for?

[C]

Different for the Titans.

[B]

But, like, what. You mean rooting for the city? Like, the city's different? Like, what are you rooting. What are you rooting for? What's the thing underneath the team that you're rooting for?

[A]

Your tax dollars, I guess.

[C]

I don't know if I fully understand.

[A]

Your question right now.

[C]

City pride and excitement that comes with a winning team. Yeah.

[A]

It's like. You're like, yeah, I live in New Orleans. We just won the super bowl, you.

[C]

Know, so you think in college football, Notre Dame, you went there, so that's your pride.

[B]

I mean, people in Kansas, college team, I'm rooting for. What's the thing that's consistent throughout the years? There's. Those are teams for an institution, a college.

[A]

People in Kansas City are pretty happy right now.

[B]

I know that. And I'm not even. I don't. I haven't really even thought this out. I just. I was just thinking about it.

[A]

We're trying to help you think it out.

[B]

Okay. I appreciate it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Might as well do it on air.

[A]

We're brainstorming here. But I think that's it, though. I just think if you live like. Like. Like you said about Alabama. Right. It's like, there's no pro team, so people really fall in love with the college teams there.

[B]

But think about a guy I know, because there are people all over the country that are fans of NFL teams in the city they don't live in.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I'm just. I'm a Chiefs fan for life. And you're like, well, what. What is it that you're a fan of?

[A]

Well, that uniform.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That I don't understand.

[B]

Yeah. Is it the uniforms that you like?

[C]

I think it's that.

[B]

Because that's the only thing.

[C]

It's. It's nostalgia from you were a child. And you stick with them, Right? Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like Jay Flake with Notre Dame.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I guess so.

[A]

I don't know, like, being a Cubs fan or something. Because it was all like. Didn't he say that about Notre Dame? Something like that. Because it was always. Yeah, like the Cubs were always.

[B]

Name was on NBC and the Cubs were on wg.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But now, clearly he can get more than channels, but he still sticks with them.

[B]

Yeah, but like, what. What The Cubs, when he was growing up. None of those people are still on that team. So he's still just rooting for what, like the.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

The front office of the Cubs. Like, what is he.

[A]

But it's just like, you just. You've now. You've now stuck with the team, and it's not. I don't think people are thinking that deep on it. You're like, I've always been a Cubs fan, so I just keep cheering for the Cubs. Like. Yeah, but the Braves, for instance. The Braves in Alabama. That was our baseball team.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like, none of those players are the same. Bobby Cox has been gone for a long time.

[B]

I'm the. I'm a Braves fan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. But there's not like the 1995 team that won the World Series when I was a kid. None of those people are still involved in the organization at all.

[A]

But it's like, you're like.

[B]

And I don't. It's not like I'm a. I just love Atlanta, so I'll root for their team. So I guess I just like the uniform.

[C]

But it's. It's.

[B]

But I can't tell you what, you.

[C]

Act like it goes from that team to now. It's a general of evolution.

[A]

Yeah. Like there's a player connected to that every year.

[C]

There's like 10% turnover.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I know, but. But come on.

[A]

Greg Maddox is enough to make you pull for him for a lifetime.

[C]

College guys go leave after two seasons, and then you can never.

[B]

I know, but I'm saying underneath all of that, there's the university and those. The. The teams are a part of the university. So the university still there. That's what you're rooting for. I've seen there's something underneath the team.

[A]

My first NFL game, I went to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

[B]

This was when Raymond James Stadium.

[A]

Yeah, I guess so. This was when Jameis Winston, I think, was the quarterback there for a short time, and they were playing the Falcons. Both the side splitters gave me the tickets because both teams were already out of playoff contentions. So there was nothing on this game. And I watched people standing off on the rails yelling at the game as if some, like, anger in their face, as if something was resting on this game.

[B]

Well, a lot was, clearly. Yeah.

[A]

And I'm.

[B]

And I'm the same.

[A]

So people are like, they're dug in.

[B]

I can't articulate what. What exactly it is that I'm rooting for or what my fandom is grounded in.

[C]

I guess I don't quite understand, like, if you didn't go to Notre Dame and someone's rooting for Notre Dame, they're not rooting for the university.

[A]

I think what you're trying to say is professional sports is ridiculous. And I.

[B]

And I agree it's all a scam.

[A]

And I agree with you.

[B]

All right, we can move on. I don't even really know the point I'm making anymore, but I'm sure. Write in and tell me I'm an idiot.

[A]

I agree with you, though. I mean, I think you're. You're hitting on a broader point that I don't think you're ready to even hit on, because I'm with you.

[B]

Hopefully. I stop now. I feel like Steven. I go, I don't like that.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm so geographically based for all the teams that I root for. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like it's just. It's excitement for, like. I'm sorry to keep dwelling on this, but I have a buddy who's a Titans fan. I'm a Titans fan. We both play fantasy football. I get more upset. Not now because the Titans are so bad, but when they were good and it mattered. I get more upset about them losing than I would about my fantasy football team losing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

His argument. He would get more upset about fantasy football because he's like, that actually affects me. I'm. We got money on this.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

But to me, it's much the Titans. I.

[B]

It's much does affect you. It's pretty. Yeah.

[A]

And Brian's a predator. He's been one all his life.

[C]

That's right. Saturday Night Live did a. Yeah, they did.

[B]

They did your bit, basically.

[C]

Yeah. It's very similar. They went a little darker than even I did. Chime understands that every dollar counts. That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more. Finances can be such a headache with overdraft fees, missed payments, or just wishing you could save more. Learn [e-mail] Nate Chime is banking done right Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees. Get paid up to two days early. When you set up direct deposit with qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchase purchases and cash withdrawals. To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion plus access to over 47,000 fee free ATMs. My younger self would have benefited so much from this. If I got paid two days early, I wouldn't even show up for the gig. Chime also has 24. 7 customer support. If you ever need it, work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in 2 [e-mail] Nate that's chime.com Nate Chime feels like progress.

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[C]

What would you say makes a good neighbor and a bad neighbor if you ever had someone particularly bad? Like, like this guy's a problem.

[A]

Yeah, well, not like bad news, but I had a very like a neighbor that was, you know, pre redneck and he would talk about when you don't like and he would just leave stuff all over the yard. He deckers. Yeah, he decorated for Christmas and, and.

[B]

You care about that if the neighbor's house has a bunch of stuff in there yard?

[A]

It was right next to my house and it's just like, jeez, dude. It's like you're, you're like you're dragging it down. You drag it down. We're all care about our lawns. All our lawns look good. And you're like you got tractor equipment laying all over the yard. He decorated for Christmas and it took him till June to take down the inflatable deer on the roof that was no longer inflated. It was just hanging off the side. This guy sounds awesome.

[B]

And is he a nice guy?

[A]

He was a nice guy guy. He fixed my air conditioner for free.

[B]

This guy sounds like a hero best neighbor.

[A]

But I'm just. Yeah, I mean he could put the.

[B]

Reindeer in my yard. I don't care. But six is my ac.

[A]

He, he, he, he had a diesel truck when he moved in and he would just let it run in the driveway. Okay. And then he Totaled it and got a new truck. Like a F2 real jacked up truck. And then he total again.

[C]

It seems like it'd be your best friend.

[A]

And then he totaled it while he was in between insurances. So he totaled it so quick that he had that truck towed back to his house.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it sat in his driveway missing a wheel for months while he slowly worked on it. And it was so destroyed. He did get it fixed. He fixed it all right. Pretty amazing.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But just couldn't keep.

[A]

But it took close to a year. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, the guy, it's just like, I don't know. When you live in a neighborhood, to me, there's this level of respect that you try to give your neighbors. Whatever you want to do in your backyard, that's your business. But the front yard, it's like, read the room, match what everybody else is doing.

[C]

Did you report him to hoa?

[A]

I'm not going to say, but. But I. This potential that I did early on. Yeah. Because, you know, the HOA would come down on me for way less. For way less. And I'm like, guys, this guy's. I mean, he would have the. He had a little tractor that he would ride around. And the problem, the main problem was our bedroom window was right near his front lawn. So he would be riding his tractor in at nighttime, moving stuff around in the yard.

[C]

A tractor in your neighborhood?

[A]

The guy is a small tractor. Yeah. But the guy was. Is so distinct the characteristics he was doing. I was complaining about it on my personal podcast that we're having a good time podcast every week on YouTube that I put out. And he. I was complaining about him and someone emailed me and they said, I think you have my old neighbor.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

The guy that emailed me builds porches. I needed a porch built. Me and him ended up becoming friends. He came over, saw the guy and he's like, that is the guy. And he said, you're. He said, oh, I see his Halloween decorations. Get ready for the 40 foot Santa Claus at Christmas.

[B]

He was right.

[A]

And it came.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. The guy was dressed as the Grinch dressed as Santa Claus. Putting at nighttime with a headlamp on.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Putting up Christmas decorations.

[C]

Did he have a family?

[A]

He did have a family.

[C]

His be weird if he didn't.

[B]

He's part of why you don't like Christmas, huh?

[A]

Yeah. He was married to a lady who had a. A kid from a previous marriage. He had two kids from two previous relationships. And. And then they had a kid together. And Then also her kid's sister that wasn't her kid would come over and. Yeah. I mean, they were, you know, they were all pretty insane people. And I like them.

[C]

He's like, I think I knew that.

[B]

Is just a lot to be around.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You need some land where you can just do this on your own. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, and they were very nice people. They gave. They would give us stuff for our kids all the time. Like, as their kids outgrew it, they would give it to us. They're very nice people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But.

[B]

Well, you got to be if you're that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're that pretty insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Aaron, what's. How. How early is too early for Christmas decorations and how late's too late to take?

[B]

I think after. Well, there's the 25 days of Christmas, I think. I think you get started in December.

[C]

What are the 25 days of Christmas?

[B]

I don't know. December 25th is Christmas. I think you do 25 days, dude, from December 1st. I think you get. You can get in there after Thanksgiving. That's when you throw it up, though. That hasn't stopped anybody else at the Target this weekend. There's Christmas stuff everywhere.

[C]

Oh, sure, it's been up forever, but.

[B]

Like, personal stuff at your house, do whatever you want. But I think it's weird if it's. You want to do it to where nobody goes, that's a little early. You know what I mean? So I think after Thanksgiving.

[A]

I think it has to be after Thanksgiving. Yeah.

[B]

I'll tell you real quick. Worst neighbor I had, I lived in Madison. A guy named Ralph who kept the dog chained up in his front yard 24 7. Just short leash, like on a. It's almost like a tetherball thing. He's chained up there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Twice a week, animal services would get called on him, and he would convince them to let him. So his dog was just out barked constantly. You feel bad for the dog, right? Well, one day, I live with a buddy. He owned the house. My buddy's at work. He gets a phone call from Ralph, and Ralph goes, hey, your wife is at the house right now.

[A]

She.

[B]

She's. She said, you just got divorced, and she's taken all her furniture out of the house. And my buddy goes, I'm not married. He was like, oh. He goes, I figured you weren't. I just want to give you a shout. There's a woman out here. He goes, ralph, stop him. And Ralph fought this meth out lady.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And prevented her from stealing all the furniture. So he is this guy who's abusing a dog, but he also fought off a meth head in our house.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So he's, like, kind of a complicated hero.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I used to have a joke about it where there was a dead raccoon in the middle of our. Our street. And it was there for, like, two weeks. Nobody did anything about it. I'm not gonna pick it up. I figured the city comes by, they're not coming in down our street. And I was talking to Ralph, and I go, you see that raccoon out there? And he goes, yeah, but it's not one of mine. Who's that kind of guy?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It was like. Like, I. I don't know. He had raccoons back there or something. Bizarre guy.

[C]

Had the lady actually broken into your house?

[B]

She just broke in and was just stealing stuff.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And then Ralph came over and was like, what are you doing? She goes, well, I'm his wife.

[A]

I went to that house. It was pretty sketchy.

[B]

It was real bad.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And actually, his. My buddy. His. His mom got sick, and he went and lived with her for a while. And while he was there, there's about nine people squatting in that house.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And the police had to raid through it and kick everybody. It was a bad neighborhood.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of action.

[A]

Well, that's what. What you're saying about this guy is what I'm saying about my neighbor. Right. He was a bit of a maniac, but when I. I. He worked. I knew he worked at an air conditioner repair place. And I went over to his house, and I didn't have his number, but I rang his doorbell, and he, like, called me from the doorbell, and I go, my air conditioner is broken. I wonder if you'll just look at it for me. And he goes, yeah, I'll be home in a second. And he came home. Hot outside. He went over there. He takes the COVID off the thing. He's pulling out wires. He's cutting. And he goes, you need a. You need a so and so thing. And I go. He goes, I can get one tomorrow. I go, well, what if I just go get it? He goes, now you got to be a licensed air conditioner to guy to buy one of these. And I go. I go, okay. And I was like. I was thinking, this guy has just screwed up my air conditioner.

[B]

Yeah, now you can't fix it till tomorrow.

[A]

And then he goes, I may have one in the truck. And then he goes to the truck, gets one, comes out, hooks it up, and Then my air conditioner is working. He won't accept any money.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And he just. He's so sweaty. He was so sweaty from working so hard. And he just got off work and he wouldn't accept any money. And this is a guy I reported to the HOA and I felt bad about it, but at the same time, he would complain to me about the HOA in the yard sometimes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I would be like, I will complain about the HOA with anyone in this neighborhood, but when it comes to you, I agree with him. I wouldn't say these things, but that's what I would think.

[B]

Well, now he knows. Give him a shout out. What's his name?

[A]

I'm not gonna say. But he did get divorced and that's why they moved out. It was a very sad ending.

[B]

Oh, geez. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[A]

Yeah, it took a dark turn.

[B]

I'm sorry about that.

[A]

He came over and he go, well, I'm sorry. I don't even know why.

[B]

I gotta head out, unfortunately.

[A]

Well, I'll finish the story. He goes, that's how we want to spend our last. He goes. I go, how? He get brought something over, like kids clothes. And I go, how's it going? He goes, not too good. Oh. And then he starts unloading on me. Cries a little bit. And we don't know.

[B]

Each give him a hug.

[A]

Now we don't know each other that well.

[B]

Touch him on the shoulder or anything.

[A]

I did stand and talk to him for a bit.

[B]

No physical contact, I don't think. I think that got. Needed a hug.

[A]

I may have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I was uncomfortable with it.

[C]

Then you encourage him to move to Florida.

[A]

I did. Oh, yeah. This is the guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I told him. I go, dude, I go. I go.

[B]

When he was still married.

[A]

Well, his wife left him. And he was worried that his wife wasn't going to let him see the kids. I think his other girlfriends were already not letting him see their. Those kids he had. And I was like, dude, you know how to fix air conditioners? I said, there's tons of air conditioners down in Florida. I was like, just get out of here. Go down to Florida.

[C]

Leave your kids.

[A]

Yeah. Because your wife is going to make your life a living age. And I was like, just get down there. Yeah. And just live on the beach. Repair some air conditioners. Give it to your life, man.

[B]

Get a tan, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What about his kids?

[A]

I'm just saying his wife is not going to make it easy for him to see those kids. It's better for him to go live his life. When his kids are old enough, he can explain the situation and they can start a relationship then.

[B]

Well, I want to say for the record, Ralph did not have a family. All he had was that dog. That poor dog that's probably dead. I gotta head out. I gotta go to the airport. All right, well, I hope my flight is gonna happen.

[A]

I hope so, too.

[B]

If not, I'll just come back and we'll finish the podcast.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Go Irish.

[B]

Go Irish dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna be in Cincinnati, Ohio, this weekend at. Well, Dayton, Kentucky, technically, at Commonwealth Comedy Club. So come see me. Early shows are sold out, so come to the late shows.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[C]

All right, Dusty, now that Aaron's leaving, you want to talk about blackrock?

[A]

Yeah, Yeah, I do, though, actually. I actually watched a whole thing on Blackrock and how they're taking over the country and the world, basically.

[C]

Yeah. Now I read. I was kind of joking, Sierra, but now I read that it was. It's actually. It's not blackrock. It's Blackstone.

[A]

Well, they're. They're. They're intertwined. They're both. Both of those companies exist.

[C]

Well, I know they both exist, but what I read online was it's Blackstone that's buying up all the houses.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, they're. They're. They're both doing bad stuff. Yeah, They're. They're intertwined.

[C]

Well, Black Rock, Blackstone, that is very similar.

[A]

Yeah. I think they purposely want it that way. There's a guy named James Corbett. He has a thing called the Corbett Report on YouTube, and he had a great video on BlackRock.

[C]

What? I was gonna ask you this. What's too early in the day or too late in the day to mow your grass or run a leaf blower?

[A]

Well, I think. I think you gotta go 10am for either. 10am yeah.

[C]

That's pretty late.

[A]

I think so during the week.

[C]

All right.

[A]

I don't know. I mean, it's like 10am is pretty late. You're right. But it's like, you know, especially on the weekends, on a Saturday, trying to sleep, people get up the crack of dawn, they start running. I think there's no good time to run a leaf blower personally. But cutting your grass, you know, you got to get it done before it gets hot.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you got to give people some leeway on that.

[C]

Yeah. 10:00am that's pretty. That's pretty.

[A]

All right. 8:00am yeah. That's when you can get started.

[C]

And then. Is there too late?

[A]

I think in the summer. Yeah. Don't. Don't let it be dark. But at dusk, I think that's okay.

[C]

Well, it probably is okay. My neighbor had a lawn service that would come. They would always come right at dusk. It was like three or four guys. And in the summertime, that's 8 o' clock at night.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And we're trying to get my daughter to bed and they're just running lawn. Lawnmowers and weed eaters and all that is very loud and distracting. And I'm like, can you not come earlier?

[A]

Yeah. If it's a lawn service, that's unacceptable.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If it's you doing it yourself, that may be the only time you have maybe a lawn service, it's unacceptable.

[C]

They're just fitting in as many yards as they can.

[A]

Yeah. You got to go. You got to say to those guys, hey, you gotta come earlier.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or I'm gonna get a new service.

[C]

Yeah. Let's talk about some TV shows about neighbors. There's really. There's so many. It's hard to.

[A]

Home Improvement is probably the most.

[C]

I didn't even think of Home Improvement.

[A]

That's like the biggest one. I mean, every. Maybe not the biggest one, but every episode involves Tim talking to his neighbor over the fence.

[C]

Wilson.

[A]

Yeah, same. Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

[C]

I was going to ask Best TV show neighbor. So that might be him.

[A]

I mean, you know, because Tim would always go out and that he would have a problem and Wilson would help him solve his problem. So he may be the best neighbor. What else you got?

[C]

Well, I mean, these aren't best as far as helpful necessarily. It's. Or it's more like the characters. Ned Flanders from Simpsons.

[A]

It's a great character.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't know what you would think of him. I thought you might think it's Chris. It's.

[A]

Well, they're for sure mocking Christianity, but Ned Flanders himself is a great guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Two from Seinfeld, Kramer, of course, and Newman.

[A]

Yeah. Those are, well, Kramer's. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I guess it's hard to beat Kramer as the best neighbor of all time.

[C]

Not. Not literally the best. He'd be pretty annoying if he was your neighbor.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

As far as a fun character.

[A]

Yeah. It's an unrealistic neighbor and it's only in a sarcastic TV show. Would that even exist? Because Jerry would not put up with that in real life.

[C]

I guess that's true. Yeah, that's definitely true. Now, it was based on a real guy, Kenny Kramer, that I think was Larry David's neighbor. But clearly. Yeah. Jerry would not tolerate.

[A]

No.

[C]

All the stuff that Kramer does.

[A]

Yeah. They definitely amped it up.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Steve Urkel.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You know, there's a great. There's a podcast I like called the Confused Breakfast Podcast, and they do a.

[C]

Do I host it?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That is funny. You should do the podcast. And they. They do a breakdown about the. The main guy, the dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Of that. And it's a fan theory how he's in, like, Die Hard and he's in a couple other movies, and it.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Have you seen that one?

[C]

I think you shared it. Maybe.

[A]

Yeah, maybe so.

[C]

I have seen this.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's like he was in Die Hard and he was in Family Matters.

[A]

And Was it one other Crocodile Dundee he was in.

[C]

Yes. He was the limo driver.

[A]

Yeah. But there's something else, too, I think. But basically, he got kicked off the. Or he got. You know, I guess he had an accident at work and, you know, shot a. A kid. Right. And that's why he was off the. He was pushing paper or whatever, as they call it. So basically they say family. He's, like, locked away in a mental institution or something. And Family Matters is a. A world he created for him himself, where it's just happiness and all of his families around him. But then the kid, Urkel. Yeah. Crept back into his subconscious.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And. And annoys him now in this world he created for himself.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I forgot how crocodile did he. They fit that in somehow, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Huh.

[A]

It's an interesting. It's fun. It's a fun fan theory, but Urkel was great.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, that whole tgi. Tgif.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I was in college when that was big. So most of those shows I didn't really get into because I was a little too old for it.

[A]

Oh. See, I was in high school, but still not driving yet.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When I started watching that. So. Yeah. I would go watch Step by Step.

[C]

Well, you're probably even younger than that, right?

[A]

Maybe so.

[C]

The 90s. I mean, it depends on when.

[A]

Well, I remember an era of Step by Step, Family Matters.

[C]

Full House.

[A]

Full House. Yeah. Gosh, those shows were great. Probably all very dark stuff, though, going.

[C]

On on those shows.

[A]

I think so.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Full House, for sure. I don't know. They always make jokes about it on. On these. Roast and stuff where it's like, then everybody.

[C]

Well, the girl. What's the oldest girl? Dj is that dj? I never watched the show.

[A]

DJ Tanner. I don't remember their names on the.

[C]

Show, but she was just on John Chris podcast.

[A]

Yeah. Cameron Burke.

[C]

Yeah, something like that. Or something like that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. She's sisters with Kirk Cameron in real life. Her last name's Cameron. Yeah, Candace Cameron.

[C]

That's Kurt Cameron's sister.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I did not know that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right, so I know you don't celebrate Halloween, but when you lived in your old neighborhood, did kids trick or treat?

[A]

Well, they would, but we turned our light off.

[C]

But they were around.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

My neighborhood kids don't trick or treat.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I think it's just nowadays, I think you go to certain neighborhoods and live it up, or you go to a church or somewhere like that.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I don't. I didn't know what to do. You know, I don't necessarily want to be like, the ba. Humbug guy of the neighborhood, but I don't want to participate, so I just did that. Turned the light off. And, you know, I have, like, one time in Canada, we were at. At my wife's dad's house.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And they were doing it. And so we, you know, we played along and we gave kids the candy. And it is fun to do. It is fun to do.

[C]

I agree on Christmas decorations. I mean, traditionally, you're supposed to always. Not that there's a right or wrong necessarily wait till after Thanksgiving. But nowadays, I think as soon as people take their Halloween stuff down, they start putting the Christmas stuff up.

[A]

I think sometimes people are. It makes people happy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they just can't wait to get it up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It reminds them of some childhood happiness. And they go, I gotta get this up. And then they start watching the Christmas movies, all for nostalgia, all for feel good. Because, you know, you know, things are not the same.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But, you know, we could just make new happy things. But we got to keep living, though. I mean, I love Home Alone. You know, Christmas vacation.

[C]

We just talked about Home Alone on the Consumers podcast.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Actually, we talked about TGIF as well. And Sean o' Brien was talking about. And I agreed with him. The whole. The classic scene where he puts the aftershave on and then screams.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I wasn't clear what was going on there because I thought you had to actually shave for your skin to be irritated for that to happen. So I'm like, he didn't shave.

[A]

Did he not shave? I mean, he didn't have hair, but I think he did do the most. I think so.

[C]

Okay, maybe he did.

[A]

They probably wouldn't have burned.

[C]

Yeah. We were both like, is that supposed to be him pretending to be his dad. And then Tim was like, no, he. It was burning. You put it on, it's going to burn.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe he just never had it on at all. So maybe it just burned his skin, maybe. Maybe he was sensitive, maybe.

[C]

Sensitive little kid.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a weird movie. I like it, but weird that, you know. You know, you just leave your kid more than once. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Did they make three?

[A]

They made three, but Macaulay Culkin wasn't in the third one.

[C]

But was it the same parents?

[A]

I don't know. I never watched it.

[C]

I didn't either. I can barely even remember the second one. But it gets a little ridiculous that your parents. I mean, sometime you got to call.

[A]

Dcs, especially the second one. Like, he went to, like, his abandoned. His uncle's abandoned house or something, and it's like, yeah, somebody's got a. You got to get on that. Yeah. If you leave your kids twice. Yeah, you're in trouble.

[C]

What do you think about the Next Door app?

[A]

I'm into that sort of thing, but, you know, being a public figure, I don't like to necessarily have my name on that stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I am into that sort of thing to, you know, put the feelers out.

[C]

So do you have, like, a alias?

[A]

I don't do it. I mean, I'm into it, but I don't participate.

[C]

What about Hannah?

[A]

I don't think she's into it.

[C]

Yeah, but you would be if you weren't a public figure.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if I were just a regular dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd be all about that sort of stuff. I'd be making. Yeah. I'd be making jokes in it. You know, I'd be all about it.

[C]

What about a neighborhood watch thing?

[A]

I like that, too. I like all. All of these things in principle. Right. I feel like we could probably do neighborhood watch type stuff instead of having police, we could probably, you know, just do things on our own.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Instead of spending our tax money to have people tell us how to live our lives.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I read about neighborhood Watch. It started in the 60s. People watched a crime happen. I forgot where this woman got brutally attacked. And everyone just watched. Nobody did anything. And they're like, well, we got to keep this rare happening again. So they started a neighborhood watch program, and then the Sheriff's association got involved.

[A]

Yeah. And, yeah, I feel like you need, like, you know, for a good neighborhood, like, you almost need, like. Like, I lived in a house one time where it was, like, six people lived in the house. It was six roommates six rooms.

[C]

The rat house.

[A]

Yeah, the rat house. We all paid separate, you know, rent, but to one landlord. But the landlord would, would have us meet any new tenant. If someone moved out and we got a new tenant, she would have us meet that person to decide if we wanted them to live there, decide if it was a good fit.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And you almost feels like that's what should happen with neighborhoods. I know it's like probably, you know it's never going to happen.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But that way you're like ensuring that the neighborhood itself is like. Because if you own property, it's like that's your property, but the property next to you you don't own. But if you're all in that neighborhood together, it seems like you should almost have some control of who's moving in just to make sure it does. Because that's part of the problem with the old neighborhood I lived in is there, there were some rental houses and sometimes the people that move in are great, but they leave after a year and you don't know who you're going to get. And now you have no control, so you kind of lose in the neighborhood. But if you have a neighborhood watch.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's going to be more effective if you know all your neighbors and you're all, you know, like minded.

[C]

Yeah. Now I read HOA started originally because they were just trying to keep certain people out of the neighborhood and then, you know, eventually got to the point where like, you can't do that just because of the race.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I would be more of mindset like, like, let's say this. I would love to have a neighborhood where we did more farming and, and community gardening and we had chickens and things like that. So you have this neighborhood and then the people that move in, it's like you be able to check with them. Are you into this?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you going to be complaining about this? Is this something you're going to want to participate in? Because if you have people that are like, yes, this is what I'm into.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you have this neighborhood community where you're all growing food for yourselves. And I mean, that's a great neighborhood.

[C]

Yeah. As long as you know up front that's what you're getting into.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But when you have no control or no say, then you know, the person that moves in goes, I don't like this. And the next thing you know, your whole farming community's gone.

[C]

I just remember two things. I wish Aaron was here. I want to tell you both about this. Two Things that happened to me over the weekend as a parent, I was. Want to get your take on it. So I take Eleanor to the park on Saturday, and first thing she wants to do is go to the swing and, you know, she gets in the bucket swing. You know what I'm talking about?

[A]

Yeah. Like the. Yeah.

[C]

Where you. You're. You can't get in or out. Yeah. You know, easily. And there's a little boy when we get there. There's a little boy just sitting in the other swing next to her. I start pushing her, and he asked me to push him, and I said, where. Where's your mommy and daddy? And he just kind of like points the direction. And then he asked me to again to push him. So I do it. I start pushing. I'm pushing both of them now. The mom does eventually show up. She's got two other kids she's dealing with. I think she was just overwhelmed. But then the kid, once we get out and start playing on the jungle gym or whatever, he wants to kind of hang out and play with us. And the mom never says a word. She just lets him. That's the first one I wanted to see what you guys would have done in that situation.

[A]

Well, I would say no to pushing.

[C]

Him because it's dangerous.

[A]

Yeah. You also don't know how the parents going to react.

[C]

That's what I mean.

[A]

Yeah. You don't know how the parents going to react or you don't know, maybe the kid, you know, maybe you're pushing him and the chain breaks and then he breaks a leg and.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So I would have to say, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm not going to push you as far as hanging out. I don't know there's anything really you can do. It's kind of on the parents. But I would, depending on how the kid was acting, if the kid was just fine and my daughter was fine with the hang, I don't think I'd be against it. But if. If it were like, bothersome and right then I would go, let's just go somewhere else.

[C]

I think she actually liked it.

[A]

It was fun.

[C]

She wanted me to chase her. And then he wanted me to both get in on it. So I think she actually enjoyed it. But after a while, I was like, dude, I can't. Yeah. Be watching you and my daughter.

[A]

Right, right. And that's the thing too, man. If they're running around, he's like, chase me, chase me. And then he trips, and the mom's like, you were chasing him, Morgan.

[C]

And Morgan Shows up. Yeah.

[A]

So it's like. Yeah. I mean, I don't. I. I mean, it's like even, like having a family, like a gathering, a birthday party or something like that. It's like you get nervous. You're like, I don't know if I almost want people to sign waivers to play in the backyard, because.

[C]

Yeah. I came to your daisies and they all attacked me with bubble guns.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I could sue you.

[A]

I know.

[C]

I may still.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then the other thing happened to me yesterday. I took her to Lowe's, and I'm walking in, holding her. It's a. Yesterday was not as cold as today, but it was cold. It was in the 40s. She had her jacket on, short walk. And this old man's coming out as we're coming in, and he's coming right toward us. And I think he's gonna be like, oh, look how cute she is. And he comes up to us and takes her hood and puts it on her head. And he says, it's cold out here. And I was like, okay, thanks. And I got home and told Ruth. She's like, that's weird. Some stranger should not be talking, touching your kid. He didn't touch her. He touched her hood. But what would you have done in that situation?

[A]

I don't know. It depends on how it goes. I mean, my instinct is to go, hey, dude, get away from us.

[C]

But he was an old man.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think he was just being nice.

[A]

Just depends on me.

[C]

I know he was being nice.

[A]

Just depends on the situation. Yeah. It's like. But it is like. That is annoying.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, no, don't worry about it. Okay. Because my. My son doesn't want a hat on his head and don't. Yeah. This whole idea of things being cold, it's like, you're gonna be fine. Walking from the car to the Lowe's, you're gonna be fine.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But people. These old people out here, they act like, oh, you gotta get a bubble up. It's like, take it easy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm in the car and, you know, have a jacket in the car in case the car breaks down on the way home or something. But you're gonna be fine.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You're like, I don't know. I don't even believe that cold weather makes you sick.

[C]

I think you're right.

[A]

Yeah. People act like being cold makes you sick. I don't think that's the reality.

[C]

I mean, that's what I always heard growing up, but I think I don't think that's actually the case. I think you get more sick in the wintertime because you're indoors more.

[A]

I think so.

[C]

And germs get spread easier.

[A]

Yeah. So I think so.

[C]

Do some grounding.

[A]

Exactly. Breathe some air. I actually think I. I got sick and I kept like. Because my body was fine, but I just had a sore throat, so I would still get outside and rake leaves and do things, and I think I kept breathing in leaf stuff.

[C]

Are you trying to get your neighbor's leaves again?

[A]

I actually now have a bit of yard, and I have quite a few trees, so I got a lot of my own leaves. But, yeah, when I'm driving around, I'm still looking.

[C]

And what do you do with them again?

[A]

You compost them? You know, I got a couple compost bins so I can put the leaves, but I also try to put them over the garden areas because it helps protect the soil. And then they break down and turn into organic matter, which helps feed the soil because that's what the trees are doing. The trees, they grow all year. They grow, and then they drop the leaves. And then when the leaves break down, it feeds the trees. So you'd like to. The idea would be to not rake them all up.

[C]

Right. But this is for your current yard. You don't take them to McMinnville.

[A]

No, I might. Depending on. If I could get a bunch, I might. I like to put them down in the swale cells.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Got a whole system.

[A]

Try to build up a little topsoil down there.

[C]

Right, right. I just realized this is probably episode 280 or something. 278. I think it's the first time we've ever had just two host on.

[A]

This is how it should be, man. I think me and you do a great podcast.

[C]

Yeah, I'd rather just be me, but if I can't do that. Glad to have you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, this is how it should be.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Table's too big for this kind of nonsense sense, but.

[C]

Yeah, I agree. I agree. Aaron. Really? His laugh. We don't need that.

[A]

I don't need it. No, no, I'm. In fact, that was my least favorite comment of this whole thing. Well, Rachel Woolston.

[C]

I agree. Aaron's my least favorite member of the podcast, so.

[A]

I've always said that.

[C]

Yeah, no, I'm joking. We can wrap. Oh, you're hosting, though.

[A]

I feel like you roped me into that. I wasn't joking.

[C]

I wasn't either.

[A]

Okay, good.

[C]

You want to wrap it up?

[A]

Yeah. Well, this Weekend, I'm going to be in York, Pennsylvania, and in Tysons, Virginia.

[C]

I've been to Tysons.

[A]

Yeah. So I'll be there eating some chicken.

[C]

Where you at in Tysons?

[A]

You know, I don't know. I'd have to pull.

[C]

That's the theater. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did that theater with Leanne Morgan, and it is a very nice theater.

[A]

Is it? I got a new website. I mean, still the same logo, but my calendar seems really out of whack here. But Capital One hall.

[C]

That is it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it's very nice.

[A]

And then I'll be at the Appel center for the Performing Arts in York, Pennsylvania.

[C]

You ever been there before?

[A]

I don't think so. I have to fly into Harrisburg, which I have been to. It's a comedy zone there. In Harrisburg?

[C]

Piersburg.

[A]

Yeah, done that a few times.

[C]

Nice. Well, I have a big week ahead, so Wednesday night I'm in Plano, Texas, at Mic Drop Comedy Club.

[A]

All right.

[C]

First time there. Thursday night, I have a show in Waco, Texas, and it's for the Community Cancer Association. It's a fundraiser, but they're selling tickets, so anybody can come to the show.

[A]

Okay. There's a song called Wacko from Waco, and it's about Billy Joe Shaver shooting a guy.

[C]

Okay, maybe I'll come up to that.

[A]

Yeah, you should.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

David Koresh. That was Waco, right?

[A]

Oh, I guess so. Yeah.

[C]

And then Thursday, Friday, I'm at Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma, Washington.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I love that club.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, I've been there before. Excited to go back.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think I'm seeing Christy Johnson. She's gonna.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

With purpose. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. And then Sunday, so I'm doing four shows. Tacoma. Then Sunday, I'm at Helium Comedy Club in Portland.

[A]

Wow. I love that club, too.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, I've been there.

[A]

That's a big run.

[C]

That is a big run.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Call it My Easier to Fly tour.

[A]

Yeah. So that I saw that poster. That's good.

[C]

Yeah. So please come to those shows. That's a lot of shows. I'd love to see a lot of folks at all of them.

[A]

Yeah. Or anybody.

[C]

Well, yeah, you're right.

[A]

Yeah. They don't have to listen to this podcast to come.

[C]

Yeah, they probably aren't going to hear me make the pitch if they aren't.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

That's a good point.

[C]

Yeah. Anybody comes, I'm going to be.

[A]

If you listen to this podcast, come to that show and bring a friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That doesn't listen to the podcast.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you so much. All right. You want to wrap it up?

[A]

Yeah. Well, thank you guys for listening to the podcast. I'm happy to be back. We're having a good time. Sa Foreign hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. As winter approaches, make sure you set aside some time for self care. Now through December 2nd.

[B]

Get great savings on personal care essentials.

[A]

When you shop in store or online. Buy two participating self care items and save $3. Shop for items like Tresemme Shampoo, Dove Shampoo, Dove Men's Care Body Wash, Dove Body Wash and Axe Shower gel. And save $3 when you buy two or more items. Offer ends December 2nd. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists. But identity thieves have lists, too, and your personal information might be on them. Protect your identity with LifeLock. LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second and alerts you to threats you could miss. If your identity is stolen, Lifelock will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Make this season about joy, not identity theft. With Lifelock, save up to 40% your first [e-mail] iheart terms apply. Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first there the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.