6: #6 | Air Travel featuring Fiona Cauley

Summary

Public Figures Podcast | Episode 6: Air Travel (with Fiona Cauley)

Date: March 11, 2026
Hosts: Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, Dusty Slay
Guest: Fiona Cauley

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Episode Overview

This episode marks a milestone as the Public Figures Podcast hosts their first ever guest—Fiona Cauley, a Nashville-based touring stand-up comedian, who joins Aaron, Brian, and Dusty for a lively, humorous, and sometimes poignant discussion on air travel, accessibility, stand-up comedy, and life as a comic living with a rare disability.

The conversation flows naturally through inside-comedy stories, debates about air travel etiquette and accessibility, commentary on everyday annoyances, and some personal insights into how disabilities are handled (and misunderstood) in travel spaces. The group also addresses listener comments and shares memorable anecdotes.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Introducing Fiona Cauley & Comedy Trajectories

[01:53]–[07:19]

• Fiona is welcomed as the podcast's inaugural guest and friend of the hosts.
• The group discusses big "breakthrough moments" in a comic's career:
  • Fiona talks about how appearing on “Kill Tony” changed her career overnight, comparing it to the Johnny Carson or Ed Sullivan bump.
  • Dusty adds, “the weirdest part about doing Kill Tony...everyone’s like, ah, your life’s gonna change, but it takes two weeks for it to come out. So you’re sitting in there like, I don’t believe you.” [03:37–03:54]
  • Everyone reflects on the unpredictable impact of late night shows vs. viral podcasts in launching careers.

2. Superstition, Friday the 13th & Ides of March

[07:19]–[13:24]

• Fiona brings up the upcoming Friday the 13th and the "Ides of March,” sparking a tangent about superstitions and history.
• Aaron cites the historical link between Friday the 13th’s negative reputation and religious/mythological events. [08:56–09:15]
• Debates about Shakespeare’s authorship and the origins of Hollywood and superstition.
  • Surreal “historical anxieties” and the intersection of pop culture with myth are jokingly analyzed.
  • Notable Quote: “I like the term historical anxieties.” – Dusty [09:51]

3. High School, Technology, and Generational Gaps

[14:15]–[16:32]

• The crew reminisces about phones in school (Motorola Razors, Sliders) and stricter old-school rules.
• Discussion on technological evolution: “I can’t even imagine what they’re doing now with the ChatGPT, AI stuff. ... Education’s done.” – Dusty [14:11]
• Age differences and the introduction of Spark Notes vs. traditional Cliff’s Notes.

4. Shingle Ladies & Early Standup Jokes

[19:12]–[20:23]

• Brian shares his "Shingle ladies" joke, a so-bad-it’s-good relic from his early standup days, to much laughter (and mock disbelief):
  • “No, I meant ‘where my shingle ladies?’ … I’m looking for a lady with shingles.”
  • “If you liked it, then you should’ve put some cream on it.” [20:13–20:18]

5. Living—and Performing—with Friedrich’s Ataxia

[20:23]–[29:47]

• Fiona candidly discusses her rare neurological disease, Friedrich’s Ataxia, diagnosed at 18.
  • She explains the challenges growing up, being misjudged as drunk, principal smelling her breath, practicing walking at home, and difficulties in being diagnosed.
  • “I started losing coordination...they thought I was like, like, on something or not taking it seriously. And I wasn’t. ...Everyone’s like, she is so committed to this bit.” [24:14–25:29]
• The emotional and practical realities for her and her siblings (all three diagnosed), and how her experiences shape both her material and traveling as a comic.

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Listener Comments & Interactive Segments

[30:38]–[54:25]

• Hosts read and riff on user-submitted comments from podcasts and social media, covering everything from passwords, Southwest wheelchairs, to Helen Keller “conspiracy theories.”
  • “Helen Keller was Shakespeare.” – Dusty [33:47]
  • Discussion of ableism and faking disabilities on airlines (“Jetway Jesus”).
  • Important Air Travel distinction: Difference between a “direct” and “non-stop” flight clarified by a listener. [55:26–56:45]
  • Travel recommendations: discussion of best towns for families, comedy travel picks, and small-town charm (“bit of a methy vibe, but it’s OK” – Brian on Springfield, MO [39:00])

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Main Topic: Air Travel Etiquette & Accessibility

The Package Reveal & Launch into Air Travel

[59:20]–[60:00]

• Podcast’s topic revealed with a model plane: “Today we are talking about air travel.” – Fiona [59:56]

Fiona's Air Travel Experience as a Person with a Disability

[60:03]–[66:44]

• Problems with new airline boarding policies, esp. Southwest:
  • “The handicap seating is an extra $85, because it’s seen as their first class. ...Instead of having accessibility, the highest bidder gets it.” – Fiona [62:52–63:14]
  • Discussion about “fakers” abusing accessibility accommodations (“They run by me on their legs!” – Fiona [69:08]) and the lack of adequate policy for real needs.
  • Notable quote: “If you use the perks of being disabled ...you should have to get off last. Like I do.” – Fiona [69:54]
  • Real stories: being denied bathroom access by others in accessible seats, viral videos influencing airport/TSA policy, and the frustration caused by system abusers.
  • Calls for “certification” or standardized proof to prevent abuse while maintaining dignity for actual disabled travelers.

Annoyances in Airport Design & Etiquette

[90:17]–[95:00]

• Rants about baggage claim crowding, standing on moving walkways (“If you want to stand, fine, but just stand to the one side...” – Brian [92:29]), and travel infrastructure that ignores accessibility.
• The need for marked space, enforcement, and a “wall of shame” for those who misuse family/gender-neutral/disabled restrooms—another venue for non-disabled people to create bottlenecks for those who genuinely need access. [93:31–94:44]

Miscellaneous Riffs on Air Travel

• Clothing in airports (e.g., “No pajamas” rule controversy in Tampa, but general comic consensus is: comfort > formality unless you’re a “Tweety bird pants” abuser). [80:21–81:17]
• Hotel check-in/check-out times and lack of accessible rooms; difficulties booking through Airbnbs or ridesharing as a disabled traveler.
• Dogs and “service animal” loopholes:
  • “I abuse it. My dog’s not a nervous dog. …I have historical anxieties.” – Fiona & Brian, joking [104:43–106:09]
• Flight anxiety & turbulence stories; best/worst airports (Newark, O’Hare, LaGuardia ranked worst for delays; Nashville praised).

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Featured Quotes & Moments

• On career breakthroughs & comedy:
  • “It used to be Johnny Carson back in the day…now podcasts can be that.” – Fiona [03:24–03:28]
• On accessible seating now costing extra:
  • “Instead of having accessibility, the highest bidder gets it...I’m like, what an angel. Thank you.” – Fiona [62:52–64:02]
• On abusive/fake disabled behavior in airports:
  • “If you use the perks of being disabled…you should have to get off last.” – Fiona [69:54]
  • “They run by me [on their legs]…We all need chairs!” – Fiona [68:08–69:08]
• On not eating ice cream due to family trauma:
  • Fiona tells of being told her dad left while being taken for ice cream as a child, leading to lifelong aversion.
  • “If you ask me, do you want to go get ice cream? I panic and assume you have something terrible to tell me.” [53:47–53:56]
• On travel recommendations:
  • “It’s a bit of a methy vibe, but it’s OK. So is McMinnville.” – Brian [39:00]
• On airline travel animal shenanigans:
  • “If you have a service raccoon...somebody's really got issues.” – Fiona [106:20]
• On improvement ideas for airports:
  • “If we all just back up [at baggage claim], we could all see our bags.” – Aaron [91:17–91:30]
• On standing up for oneself:
  • “See, before you came on the pod, we would all just hold it and be uncomfortable. But now...” – Aaron [96:49]

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Useful Timestamps

• [01:53] – Fiona’s introduction & Kill Tony breakthrough
• [07:19] – Friday the 13th and superstition talk
• [20:23] – Discussing Friedrich’s Ataxia & misdiagnosis
• [24:14] – School struggles, misjudgment, and family disbelief
• [62:52] – Southwest Airlines new disability-unfriendly policy
• [69:54] – Solution: “Get on first, get off last”
• [73:34] – Story of being blocked from the bathroom on plane by fake disabled passengers
• [74:01] – Solutions: certification, account-based accessibility, wall of shame, better infrastructure
• [91:17] – Baggage claim etiquette
• [95:44] – Family/disabled/neutral restrooms, crowding, and policy gripes
• [101:20] – Emergency landings & turbulence stories

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Notable Quotes with Attribution

• “I like the term historical anxieties.” – Dusty Slay [09:51]
• “The handicap seating is an extra $85... Instead of having accessibility, the highest bidder gets it.” – Fiona Cauley [62:52]
• “If you use the perks of being disabled...you should have to get off last.” – Fiona Cauley [69:54]
• “If you ask me, do you want to get ice cream? I panic and assume you have something terrible to tell me.” – Fiona Cauley [53:47]
• “Helen Keller was Shakespeare.” – Dusty Slay [33:47]
• “If you want to stand, fine, but just stand to the one side and let other people move along.” – Brian Bates [92:29]

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Air Travel Fun Facts & Stats

[96:05]–[99:38]

• ~45,000 flights daily in the US, sometimes over 50,000. [96:23]
• Worst airports for flight delays: Newark, O’Hare, and LaGuardia.
• Best flying days/times: Tuesdays and Wednesdays, midday (late morning/early afternoon).

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Closing & Upcoming Shows

[120:12]–[127:55]

• Each host and Fiona plug their upcoming standup dates.
• Fiona is recognized as the podcast’s first guest, warmly welcomed back any time.
• Closing with thanks, goodbyes, and the usual irreverent camaraderie.

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Episode Tone & Style

• Conversational, irreverent, and edgy, with classic standup comic camaraderie; self-deprecating, occasionally dark humor, but affable and inclusive.
• Frequent asides, call-backs to former jokes, and riffing on each other's foibles.
• Honest, insightful, and unfiltered when discussing personal or disability-related experiences, but always with levity.

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Summary

This episode of Public Figures is a wide-ranging, laugh-out-loud deep dive into the realities (and absurdities) of modern air travel, as seen through the lens of standup comedians—with a vital dose of real-world accessibility advocacy from Fiona Cauley. Listeners gain new empathy for travelers with disabilities, insight into the inner workings of comedy careers, and a whole arsenal of travel etiquette gripes and solutions—plus plenty of comic gems along the way.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Aaron Weber]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome in. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night. Whenever you're listening in, we appreciate you being here. This is the Public Figures Podcast, a podcast where three Nashville based standup comedians talk about nonsense. My name is Aaron Weber alongside my co host, Dusty Slay.

[Brian Bates]

All right, Brian Bates.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, we're three professional comedians. We got some tour dates coming up we're going to tell you about very shortly, but before we do that, I want to introduce the first guest in the history of the Public Figures podcast. She's a. A friend of ours. She lives here in Nashville. She's a touring standup comedian, one of the fastest rising comedians in the country. Headline sells out comedy clubs all over the country. Everyone please welcome Fiona Cawley. All right, that's everybody welcoming. Brian. GENTLY claps yeah. All right. Happy to have you here, Fiona. Thank you for stopping by.

[Dusty Slay]

You are. Thank you. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm pumped to have you here.

[Brian Bates]

We're all so pumped. We were giving you a moment to say something. I didn't know. I thought you would be, you know, we all go. All right. Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I just smiled and forgot it was a podcast.

[Fiona Cawley]

We all wanted you to be our first guest.

[Dusty Slay]

That's.

[Brian Bates]

We did. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I appreciate.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah. We're pumped.

[Dusty Slay]

We're doing it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. All right. Good episode. Thanks for coming in.

[Aaron Weber]

We like to start real hot and then kind of wind down after that two hours.

[Brian Bates]

You know, you don't want to come in, you know, too fast if you

[Aaron Weber]

set the bar too high. You ever be having a really good set at the beginning and you know that you can't keep it up the whole time?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And you're like, I kind of just want to end early on a win. Do you ever have that?

[Brian Bates]

Well, I sometimes want to have a bad joke that. That go. And then you can say, well, they can't all be good. And then you can say, this show. I felt like this show was too hot and I needed to slow it down a bit.

[Aaron Weber]

So you just got Some save lines.

[Brian Bates]

Ready? I'm ready, yeah. If sometimes it's. And it has happened where it's going too good and you know it can't keep going like this. So you go, I need something to go wrong just so we can go. About time.

[Fiona Cawley]

Come to one of my shows. Well, I love stories about comics that have, you know, it's rare. I mean, all of us, no matter who you are, but get really big. Takes a long time, or so I hear. But we all have moments that are. That will always be special on the calendar that. That careers change and when you have a great one. When you went on Kill Tony, it really changed your career. It did, and I love it. I love stories like that. Where used to be Johnny Carson back in the day, not my day, but even before my day.

[Aaron Weber]

Johnny Carson, Ed Sullivan could make your career.

[Fiona Cawley]

Late night's not as much that nowadays, but podcasts can be that. And Kill Tony was certainly that your career changed kind of overnight, didn't it? Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, the weirdest part about doing Kill Tony, I think is like, you do it live and everyone's like, ah, your life's gonna change, but it takes two weeks for it to come out. So you're sitting in there like, I don't believe you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Because it's like, it felt really good in the room, but who knows how it's going to come out?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

On the episode, who knows how people are going to receive it?

[Brian Bates]

And it also doesn't happen to everyone. I did Kill Tony and my life did not change.

[Fiona Cawley]

You were on the panel, right?

[Brian Bates]

I was on the panel, yeah. But it didn't change.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

If you're not familiar with Kill Tony, which some of our Nateland fans may not be, it's Tony Hinchcliffe. He does a. Is it a weekly show? Every Monday in Austin and it's kind of like a dirty version of Last Comic Standing in a way or Right.

[Aaron Weber]

I guess so.

[Brian Bates]

It is very funny. My episode that I did was not so dirty. I think some are dirtier than others.

[Fiona Cawley]

Anything goes.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

The panel kind of determines how dirty the panel does.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

But there used to be, back in my day, a show called the Gong show where people would come out and do celebrity. I mean, not celebrity, do different talents.

[Brian Bates]

Back when bells were invented,

[Dusty Slay]

well, they

[Brian Bates]

had a gong that's kind of a bell, Right?

[Fiona Cawley]

That's. I guess it's a weird bell.

[Aaron Weber]

I think bells were invented.

[Fiona Cawley]

Do you think that's 20th century invention, the 1970s. Anyway.

[Aaron Weber]

Ancient Egyptians had bells.

[Fiona Cawley]

You do a Little time. And then they gong and then the judges would critique you.

[Dusty Slay]

Saved by the gong

[Fiona Cawley]

a little bit. Like what Kill Tony was. And then now you were there. Roseanne was there. She was and said great things about you and who.

[Brian Bates]

Roseanne can be brutal to people.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I have seen that to other people and it stresses me out. But she's always been very complimentary.

[Brian Bates]

I did last comic standing in 2015 when Roseanne was a judge. She was not all that nice to me.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Did she comment on your sets at all pattern here?

[Brian Bates]

Well, she say, well, she said, you know, I had three minutes. She goes, you had a. I think she said you had a good middle but no beginning and no end or whatever. Something like that. Where I was like, this is a weird note.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, how could the middle be good if the beginning and the end.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe it was. There was a beginning and an end and no good middle.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

But it was three minutes and it was like a weird note.

[Fiona Cawley]

You did all fish jokes.

[Brian Bates]

I did all fish jokes, yeah. So it was the middle, the end. The middle, the end.

[Dusty Slay]

The beginning fish jokes were huge back.

[Aaron Weber]

That's the fish era. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Got it started.

[Dusty Slay]

Plenty of fish jokes in the sea. There you go.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. So fota. Yeah. Did really well in the first time of Kill Tony and then has performed on there. How many more times since you've been. I mean, you did on Netflix. You did Madison Square Garden, Bridgestone arena here in Nashville.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's like some of their biggest shows. You were a big part of it.

[Dusty Slay]

I think we're 14, 15.

[Fiona Cawley]

Really?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

I know I did that many. That's crazy. Yeah. I should start following your career.

[Dusty Slay]

It's eh.

[Aaron Weber]

We're excited to have you here. I don't know if you've watched the show at all. We talk about really important stuff. I think we're going to talk about kind of what's going on in the Middle east and then we're going to move on. We're going to slowly move Back to the U.S. talk domestic policy after that. So just kind just kind of strap in and here we go.

[Fiona Cawley]

So this episode comes out next week. Just keep that in mind. So you know what saying that going into this, two things this week. Friday the 13th.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

Do you guys buy into that at all?

[Aaron Weber]

Are you superstitious at all, Fiona?

[Dusty Slay]

No, but I do think that's cool. Further,

[Fiona Cawley]

just like it's cool in general.

[Brian Bates]

I'm not into it.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't trust people that are born on that Day, if that means anything.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. That sounds pretty superstitious.

[Dusty Slay]

My dad was born on Friday the 3rd.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, well, that'll do it, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. That's why I'm disabled.

[Brian Bates]

So you believe in it?

[Aaron Weber]

Pretty sure you believe in it the most.

[Dusty Slay]

So it took y' all for a ride.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. So.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So as I wasn't sure what I was gonna say.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, well, Dusty, you don't, like. You're not into superstitions at all?

[Brian Bates]

I. I don't think so. I. You know, I don't. I think Friday the 13th is. Was, you know, was a movie, and then from there we decided that that's how it started. I think so. Right. Did it.

[Aaron Weber]

Did. Okay, so it was a superstition before Friday the 13th movies.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Was it?

[Fiona Cawley]

You think Jason is how that people are like.

[Aaron Weber]

I actually don't know. I mean, that movie's been around so long, I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

I did think.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, I think Friday 13th, the superstitions been around way longer than the movies.

[Dusty Slay]

I think witches.

[Brian Bates]

Okay. Because I knew, like, a lot of buildings claimed to not have a 13th floor.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So Friday the 13th reputation as unlucky stems from a combination of ancient religious and historical anxieties regarding the number 13 and the day Friday rooted in Western superstition. It combines the 13 guests at the Last Supper, Judas being the 13th, with the Friday crucifixion of Jesus.

[Brian Bates]

But why is Judas the 13th?

[Aaron Weber]

Because he shows up later.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

But when did the movies come out? So

[Aaron Weber]

does Judah show up later and he's like, hey, sorry I'm late? No. Oh, I don't know why. In my head, I thought he showed up a little.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought he did, too.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, he left. Did he duck out early?

[Fiona Cawley]

I think he ducked out, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Then you would say he's the 13th guest, right? Yeah, he left early.

[Fiona Cawley]

But, I mean, yeah, there's the 12 disciples and Jesus, so. But, yeah, I don't think he, like, got there, like, like, sorry, guys. And then his money fell out of his pocket. Like, oops, sorry about that.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, traffic was bad.

[Dusty Slay]

I like the term historical anxieties.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I feel that.

[Brian Bates]

I also think the term anxiety just came about recently. I don't even think it has any historical.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, yeah, it's definitely taking a life of his own.

[Brian Bates]

I don't think Judas had anxiety. I mean, maybe he did, but he didn't call it that.

[Aaron Weber]

Didn't he take his own life? I mean, he's probably pretty an. Other theories include Norse mythology's 13th guest, Loki. Well, You've seen all these movies?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Who's Loki?

[Brian Bates]

Loki's swell. Is Thor Step the God of mischief. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Sounds pagan. Bringing chaos in the 1307 arrest of the Knights Templar. All right, I'm going to go with Jesus in the Last Supper. That sounds a little easier. But Anyway, happy Friday 13th coming up, right?

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. And then Sunday, March 15th, is the Ides of March.

[Aaron Weber]

Beware. Now.

[Fiona Cawley]

Are you into Shakespeare at all?

[Aaron Weber]

I hope so. That's why we brought you on the podcast.

[Brian Bates]

I'm not into it. You know, Shakespeare, even. Some people believe that Shakespeare is not a real person and that it was like a. There was some kind of thing where there was a spear and they would shake the spear at you, and that's

[Dusty Slay]

how Friday the 13th came.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, hold on.

[Brian Bates]

I don't have the full details.

[Aaron Weber]

I want to. I want you to flesh it out how you think it is. I've heard that some people go, Shakespeare was probably. It might have been like an amalgam of a few different guys. And then maybe people who couldn't get their works published, they kind of operated under this entity as Shakespeare. But you think it involves shaking a spear? At who? At what?

[Brian Bates]

Even Hollywood, they say that witches used to make their wands out of the wood of a holly tree.

[Aaron Weber]

Some of the Harry Potter books.

[Brian Bates]

So Hollywood is like magic, you know, that's where you get movie magic from.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that makes good that.

[Brian Bates]

And then, so, like Shakespeare, it was like, there some sort of, you know, probably witchcraft thing about shaking a spear at you.

[Fiona Cawley]

That makes sense for why.

[Brian Bates]

For, you know, you're going to be

[Aaron Weber]

asking that a lot.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's what this podcast should be called for.

[Aaron Weber]

Why?

[Dusty Slay]

I just. I should be asking you more questions.

[Brian Bates]

More people should. But I think it's, you know, probably, you know, kind of some kind of witchcraft thing that even predates movies. They were casting spells through these plays.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, what I was going to say was Julius Caesar. Again, you want to take a minute to digest?

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, go ahead.

[Fiona Cawley]

Julius Caesar. I get. Sometimes I have to think about which is historically true and which one is from Shakespeare's play about Julius Caesar. He was murdered. That's true.

[Brian Bates]

Friends, Romans, countrymen. Yeah, yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Wow. It's impressive.

[Dusty Slay]

Keep going.

[Brian Bates]

That's all I remember.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's all.

[Brian Bates]

I had to memorize it for school. That's all I remember.

[Fiona Cawley]

In the play, I believe the soothsayer warned him, beware the Ides of March. Okay, but I don't know that that is historically true. I think that might just be in

[Brian Bates]

the Shakespeare, I think.

[Fiona Cawley]

I thought you would know.

[Aaron Weber]

That's why I'm looking at you at 2 brutus. I know that.

[Brian Bates]

He should have not been talking to soothsayers, I'll tell you that.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, they were all were back then.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I think I cheated in this class if I took that.

[Aaron Weber]

Did you read Shakespeare in high school or anything like that?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I. Cliff Notes did for sure.

[Aaron Weber]

Remember Spark Notes? Yeah, Spark Notes was.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Y' all didn't have Spark notes back in the day? Oh, no. Spark Notes you could pull up was still doing it. Spark was so much better.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my God. Clev Jeeves. Remember,

[Aaron Weber]

Spark knows you could pull up any Shakespeare play or any, like, text like that, they'd have to read, and on the left, it would be how it's written. And then on the right, they had it translated to layman, like, regular English, you know?

[Brian Bates]

Well, me and Brian were doing this. There was no pulling it up. There was no pulling it up.

[Aaron Weber]

That's what I mean.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You're flipping through.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Dude, I can't even imagine what they're doing now with the chat, GPT, AI stuff. There is no way. I don't even.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, education's done.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. You have to teach a totally different way.

[Aaron Weber]

How would you do it?

[Fiona Cawley]

You grew up here, right?

[Dusty Slay]

I'm from Franklin.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, how old are you? You're younger than me.

[Dusty Slay]

29.

[Aaron Weber]

29? Yeah. You're a few years younger than me.

[Dusty Slay]

I could tell you were scared. You really should have asked.

[Aaron Weber]

You. No, no, I was just thinking about 56, like, by the time. Because I was trying to think when I was in high school, like, not everybody had a smartphone. Like, they.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, did everybody have kids? Oh, really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. So did they. So the teachers didn't incorporate the phones into the classes or anything?

[Dusty Slay]

No. If you had your phone, you got in real big trouble. Like, they would take it all night, all day, and you get back the following morning.

[Aaron Weber]

It was.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Take it for a whole night.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

I went to public school.

[Brian Bates]

If they take it and you don't have a password on it, do you go, well, let me put a password?

[Dusty Slay]

There were no passwords. They were just like. I had a razor, like, a flip phone.

[Aaron Weber]

Motorola Razor?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

If they.

[Dusty Slay]

Look, razor.

[Aaron Weber]

I didn't have a phone.

[Dusty Slay]

I had a shank that really got the message.

[Aaron Weber]

I had a Motorola Sliver. Remember that?

[Dusty Slay]

Did it, like, come up like that?

[Aaron Weber]

Not really. Maybe a little bit, but.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, like a slide. Yeah, I had one where you slide It. And then you could turn it sideways to the keyboard.

[Dusty Slay]

They named them weird stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't even think this one slid. I think it just.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, it just was.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know why. It just was. That's absolutely right. But I was always jealous of the rate the razor was. That was so cool.

[Dusty Slay]

When it came out, dude, I would flip my razor open so hard, I would break it in half.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

It was really cool to do that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It showed dominance. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That's how you do it. If the teacher's about to take it, flip it over hard, pick up both pieces.

[Aaron Weber]

Don't you think it's kind of lost? It's tough to end a phone call abruptly.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

There's something satisfying about no need to close.

[Fiona Cawley]

I think Seinfeld has a joke.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, well, there's. I've heard somebody talk. I tried to do it talk about once with the iPhone. Then you have to, like, wait for it and then you press it. It's tough to do.

[Fiona Cawley]

I think Seinfeld. A joke where you could just slam it down. Oh, yeah. And then slam it. And now you have to go.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But there was the. Flipping it shut was also satisfying.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Just because he did it doesn't mean you can't do it.

[Aaron Weber]

I'll call him up. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration and coffee sponsor. Like I've said, three huge categories in the public figures universe.

[Brian Bates]

Coffee, whatever. The other is hydration. Hydration. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know if you're the poster boy for hydration.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, I think you're Mr. Two Bottle Water.

[Aaron Weber]

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[Brian Bates]

That is crazy.

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[Fiona Cawley]

Didn't you tell me in high school your principal thought you were always drunk?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. Like most viewers probably think right now.

[Brian Bates]

There probably is some. There is some.

[Dusty Slay]

I am not drunk yet.

[Aaron Weber]

It's 4pm Give her a couple hours.

[Fiona Cawley]

Got a Red Bull here.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm disabled. Yes, I. Wait, do you want me to wait? What was that? Was that question?

[Aaron Weber]

Well, no, I want to hear the story about your.

[Brian Bates]

We're still not clear if you're drunk, though.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not comfortable answering that.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's good.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what? None of our business.

[Dusty Slay]

Let me call my manager real quick.

[Fiona Cawley]

You have a manager?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Great.

[Aaron Weber]

Brian doesn't.

[Brian Bates]

Go ahead, 14 kill Tony's.

[Fiona Cawley]

That would do. How would I do on Kill Tony?

[Dusty Slay]

They would have fun with you.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's a good way to put it.

[Brian Bates]

They would.

[Dusty Slay]

You should do it though, I think.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you know the one minute you

[Fiona Cawley]

would do no Shingle ladies, I want

[Aaron Weber]

you to tell Fiona this joke.

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, come on. It's a fun. It's we like, we're like talking about our old jokes when we first started standing and just how bad they are, but they're like, you know, they're big jokes for you at the time. And then now you get better and you look back and Brian, we were talking about bad jokes and Brian talked about an old one of his. That just kills me.

[Fiona Cawley]

I, I, this is when I was single and I would say, where are my single ladies at then? Maybe one or two or whatever. And I go, no, I meant we're my shingle ladies. Shingle lady. I'm looking for a lady with shingles.

[Brian Bates]

This is worse.

[Fiona Cawley]

She likes it.

[Brian Bates]

This is worse than I remember it being.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like anti comedy. That's why it's funny, though. I kind of like it.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's not what I was going for, Fiona. Anti comedy.

[Brian Bates]

Well, and then I said, if you, if you liked it, then you should have put some cream on it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, if you like it, then you should have put some cream on it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's great. Thanks. Well, thanks for coming in here. Our first guest. Now, do you want to tell you talked about on your tonight show said a little bit about your condition. If you Want to see a funny, clean set of Fiona? Go check out her tonight show us. But you talk about it on there a little bit.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. I have free drinks at Taxia.

[Fiona Cawley]

Who does it these days? I'm sorry.

[Dusty Slay]

It is contagious. So you soon?

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a progressive neurological disease. It affects likes 5,000 people in the U.S. wow. So I'm very special.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, yeah. That's so rare.

[Dusty Slay]

It's really cool and fun.

[Aaron Weber]

How many of those 5,000 do you think that you've met? Have you met them?

[Dusty Slay]

I swear I've met all of them.

[Aaron Weber]

I believe it.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm like, there's no way. There's just 5,000. At this point. I'm like. Like I've. I don't know. Even Matt's like, what is going on?

[Aaron Weber]

Matt's her husband. Very funny comic here.

[Fiona Cawley]

Oh, I'm Nashville.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right. I'm trying to just catch everybody up.

[Fiona Cawley]

Recently married.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, recently married. Congratulations. Four months. How's it been? How's it been?

[Dusty Slay]

Really good.

[Aaron Weber]

What has surprised you so far about being married? It's a tough question.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Kind of a meaningless question. I don't know if I really care about your answer, so I think we'll just move on.

[Dusty Slay]

I really figure it'll take you too long. Your dog too slow.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I thought you'd have a joke ready to go. But that's okay.

[Dusty Slay]

We'll just keep going. You ask me in like 10 minutes.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, I'll come back. I'll come back.

[Dusty Slay]

What?

[Fiona Cawley]

I was just thinking, all three of you are married to someone in the comedy business.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's true.

[Fiona Cawley]

And neither my wife or I are.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, come on, Brian.

[Fiona Cawley]

Just trying to bring some humor to this guy. She's got free basin auxiliary. What was it?

[Brian Bates]

Free basin, free basic auxiliary.

[Fiona Cawley]

I couldn't remember the name of it.

[Dusty Slay]

So close. It's crazy. No, it's Friedrich. Like the German guy.

[Aaron Weber]

Friedrich.

[Dusty Slay]

Friedrich's.

[Aaron Weber]

Is he a Nazi?

[Dusty Slay]

Probably.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, he gave me this.

[Brian Bates]

He just gives it out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, he's doing it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Crazy. It's insane. Yeah. Free Drake atax. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So this is before you gotten diagnosed with this.

[Brian Bates]

Attacks in the name.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Fiona Cawley]

There you go.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Your high school thought that you were drunk. I'd never heard this story.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, so I was an athlete in, like, elementary, middle school, like volleyball up until eighth grade.

[Aaron Weber]

That's when we kind of peaked, too.

[Dusty Slay]

I was like, I could have gone pro if it weren't for my meniscus or whatever. I have more problems than that. I Guess. But I got. I was doing volleyball. They ended up benching me because I started losing coordination. Even I was like, what is going on? Because, like, you know, like, what's going

[Brian Bates]

on with the coaching or with your body?

[Dusty Slay]

Like, I'm not stand for this. No. You know what? They call them something different. But they used to call them suicides. Where you would, like, run and touch the ground.

[Aaron Weber]

We call them suicides.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now they don't call them that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Cause what do they call it?

[Brian Bates]

Historical anxiety.

[Aaron Weber]

Physician assisted. I'm sorry I stepped on that.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, fine.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, man.

[Fiona Cawley]

So you're running suicide.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. So I'm doing that and I started, like, falling, and everyone's like, what's going on? I was kind of a weird kid. I dyed my hair back then, too.

[Aaron Weber]

And what'd you dye it blue or something?

[Dusty Slay]

It was like, blonde. And then I dyed, like, a raccoon tail.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

I'll just like.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Do you get the vibe?

[Aaron Weber]

I'm starting to see what you're like,

[Dusty Slay]

I'm in eighth grade, but I'm into it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

The girl who just won gold did that, right? Like, the girl who just won the gold medal.

[Dusty Slay]

And I was like, that. But I just had this whole chunk like that. Okay, yeah, she took that from me. And no. Anyways, I got benched because they thought I was like, like, on something or not taking it seriously. And I wasn't. I had no idea what's going on. And I was like, fine, I'll be like, artsy and I'll party. Now in high school, it's different. And I don't know, my walking got worse. I couldn't carry, like, cups of liquid would fall backwards down the stairs at school the time. And everyone's like, she is so committed to this bed.

[Fiona Cawley]

It's a method actor.

[Dusty Slay]

It's unbelievable. Yeah. My principal would smell my breath, though, because she thought I had been drinking because I walked and talked weird. And I told my mom, I think something is wrong. I don't know what. Maybe equilibrium. And my sister, older, she had health issues. And my mom would ground me for copying my sister because she thought I was, like, being a middle child. Right. And I kind of was like, am I crazy? Like, I fully was like, I might be making this up. I would, like, practice in my room every night. Like, walking in a straight line. Like, I have really crappy videos on

[Aaron Weber]

my little razor from your razor.

[Dusty Slay]

I usually can get that. And I couldn't do it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I was like, what? So 18, senior year of high school. Took myself to an ENT.

[Brian Bates]

You had to take yourself?

[Dusty Slay]

I had to lie. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

But her health insurance, they eventually sent me to a neurologist. Her health insurance didn't cover that, so I had to, like, bring her in on what was happening. And she was like, I'll pay for one day. And then we dropped this.

[Aaron Weber]

And I was like, okay, you better nail this test.

[Dusty Slay]

I know. And I'm like, not a good test taker. And they thought I either had a tumor on my cerebellum or a genetic disease. And I'm rooting. Tumor, Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I am. You can take a tumor out, right? Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Can't take your genes out.

[Dusty Slay]

No, you can dry. They'll take you out first. Oh, I'm so sorry. But, yeah, I ended up being like, let's just do the genetic testing. Because I was like, let's rule that out. Right, Right. And I was right.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, you nailed it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And then my sister got diagnosed with the same thing. So who's copying you?

[Fiona Cawley]

Exactly.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Thank you.

[Brian Bates]

I'm starting to believe the Friday the 13th thing with your dad.

[Dusty Slay]

I know. And my little brother, he got diagnosed a year and a half ago.

[Fiona Cawley]

You were a twin center.

[Dusty Slay]

I know. Always have been.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yep.

[Brian Bates]

But you're. Neither of your parents have this.

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Brian Bates]

Through all the kids, you have three.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Just three of us. We all got it. Wow. Yeah. Real wobbly group. I've been. I've been thinking about this lately, and I feel like maybe there's room for a joke here somewhere. But you know how when, like, people have kids, a lot of, like, their thought is, like, you know, one day you'll take care of me. My mom had three duds. Like, she's done for dude. Like, she's still taking care of us.

[Aaron Weber]

Three duds is crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

To take care of your parents, you have to install wheelchair ramps. They think you're. They go, oh, your mom's in a wheelchair.

[Aaron Weber]

Go.

[Brian Bates]

No, it's all about.

[Aaron Weber]

Mom's doing great.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm like, mama, you carry my coffee for me. Like, it's. She's 60 and still, like, lifts my chair up for, like, I feel bad, but.

[Brian Bates]

And I met you in, like, 2020, and you had a walker.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Where? In Nashville.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Add Zany's.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I came to your show.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Big fan.

[Aaron Weber]

Just as a fan.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And you hadn't even started doing standup yet.

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Fiona Cawley]

And you saw her walk out?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah. During the show.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I was knocking stuff Over.

[Fiona Cawley]

She was in a wheelchair then, but she just found a way. Yeah, I'm out of here.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

So when did you start doing standup here?

[Dusty Slay]

Five years ago.

[Aaron Weber]

Five years ago. Well, that's incredible. You achieved so much in five years.

[Fiona Cawley]

Comedy makes you so jealous because I'll see you.

[Dusty Slay]

Five years in Wil. Years is 20 years for Y'.

[Fiona Cawley]

All.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know?

[Brian Bates]

Know what?

[Dusty Slay]

Sorry.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's what I was about to say. Like, you watch standup comedy, and she's killing on tonight's show. And kill Tony. I'm like, man, I wish I had a genetic disease. Her material is amazing.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey, if you hope for long enough, it will happen. Friday the 13th is coming up.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah, I've got. I've got some other stuff coming up.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

For Brian, it would have been the tumor.

[Aaron Weber]

And we're like, it's benign. Leave it in there.

[Dusty Slay]

This is so embarrassing.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's funny. All right, should we get these comments?

[Aaron Weber]

You want to get? So these are comments that people have left from the last episode.

[Fiona Cawley]

Not in this case.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I guess a couple episodes ago.

[Fiona Cawley]

This is just more broad.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, these are just broad comments. And then. Okay, perfect.

[Fiona Cawley]

Who should read them? I don't want to do it this time.

[Aaron Weber]

I'll do it.

[Fiona Cawley]

It.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, comments. As always, if you want to join in for the next episode, comments come From Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews and mail. Natelandpodcast.com Joseph McDuffie. I really appreciate how Aaron finds all the other podcast hosts hilarious and can't stop his giggling while still being effortlessly funny in his own right. That's very kind of you. Thank you, Joseph.

[Brian Bates]

Well, he came out hot with that one, huh? What do you mean?

[Dusty Slay]

It feels like a backhanded.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, what do you mean? He said I'm effortlessly funny. Yeah, in my own way.

[Fiona Cawley]

This guy puts no effort.

[Dusty Slay]

Who picked the comments to be read? Really?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Interesting.

[Aaron Weber]

Sometimes you can tell.

[Dusty Slay]

Sometimes.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, I appreciate that, Brian.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, Brian picked it because it says Aaron finds all the other podcast hilarious.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'm a good actor.

[Fiona Cawley]

He is.

[Aaron Weber]

Rhonda B. Dusty is just a realist and pointing out facts. When he is, quote, complaining. I am often agreeing with him. He is just saying what we are all thinking. Another comment just like this last.

[Brian Bates]

Well, there's more and more these days.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I think people are really coming out of the woodwork.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, people are starting to wake up. Get it?

[Dusty Slay]

Wake up.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And I'm bringing them in.

[Aaron Weber]

Andy, Bob, you get. You get into conspiracy stuff. I've seen on your podcast, you and Matt Really? Do you get into some wild stuff?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we'll get real upset.

[Brian Bates]

It's so funny. I love it.

[Aaron Weber]

Would you talk about Helen Keller on your podcast with me? Yeah. Okay. Well, we. We had some thoughts about her, too. We took a little bit of heat from. From people about it.

[Dusty Slay]

Matt got heat from me about it.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, wait, what'd he say? What was the.

[Dusty Slay]

He fully doesn't believe her or whatever.

[Aaron Weber]

It doesn't believe that she existed or doesn't believe that she was acting like

[Dusty Slay]

he thinks that she was faking it.

[Brian Bates]

That's a new take. Yeah, I. I like the idea that you're faking being blind. I can't see anything.

[Dusty Slay]

She was like. She's just a really, like, indecisive, like, scammer. She's like, I'll take them all. I know I am. I don't know. Ellen Keller was very important for the disabled community.

[Brian Bates]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

And that's the only reason I feel.

[Aaron Weber]

So you'll defend her to the death?

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, get crazy.

[Brian Bates]

I didn't really criticize Helen Keller. I just had an honest question, which is, if you can't. You know, I feel like I'm saying it every podcast. If you can't see or hear, what are you writing about? That's my only question. I'm not making fun.

[Fiona Cawley]

I don't. Look, I've never read her book, but I don't think on day one, she was like, I gotta write a book about it. She was probably had known braille, read braille and. And learned how to communicate for 30 years before she wrote the book. I don't know, but I bet.

[Aaron Weber]

So I want to find out how old she was. Helen Keller.

[Dusty Slay]

Helen Keller was Shakespeare.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, well, that would be.

[Brian Bates]

That would be.

[Aaron Weber]

That would be wild. She was 22 years old.

[Dusty Slay]

Conspiracy brewing.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, we could connect the dots here.

[Fiona Cawley]

Dusty also thinks everyone on Southwest in a wheelchair is faking it.

[Dusty Slay]

I agree with that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, see, I totally.

[Dusty Slay]

Jetway Jesus. Yeah, yeah, brother.

[Brian Bates]

You know that now the seating policies change. So it doesn't. But you don't care for it now.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, it makes me furious. It's the most ablest thing that could have happened. I have many thoughts.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, should we save it for the topic?

[Brian Bates]

Save it for the topic because we're

[Aaron Weber]

going to talk about this after the. No, I love it. I can't wait to get into it. Andy Babos. The fact that no one challenged Aaron claiming he could hold his breath for a minute is unbelievable. There's no way he could do that. First of all, not exactly Great radio. If they go everywhere. Just hold your breath for a full minute.

[Brian Bates]

For a minute.

[Aaron Weber]

A full minute.

[Brian Bates]

I have no doubt that you can hold you.

[Aaron Weber]

I appreciate that, man.

[Dusty Slay]

I can't hold my breath for. I've done it.

[Aaron Weber]

I actually. I don't want you to try.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I might not breathe again, but it'll be.

[Fiona Cawley]

We'll just do it now.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Bates]

All right. But you got to hold your nose, though.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no.

[Fiona Cawley]

Trust cheating.

[Aaron Weber]

What are you talking about?

[Dusty Slay]

Just trust.

[Aaron Weber]

Just trust me.

[Brian Bates]

I just think that a minute. Sure, it's long, but it's not that long. Are you doing it?

[Aaron Weber]

You're. The only reason this is not going to work is I'm going to laugh.

[Brian Bates]

You're totally still breathing.

[Aaron Weber]

I haven't started that.

[Fiona Cawley]

You're cheating.

[Brian Bates]

Should we talk?

[Fiona Cawley]

Forgot to stop the circle.

[Aaron Weber]

We'll do this at the end.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know. Yeah. I don't know if we should do it. I don't want to do minute of dead.

[Aaron Weber]

That's what I'm saying.

[Fiona Cawley]

We would give commentary while he's doing.

[Aaron Weber]

No, no. What's the commentary? He's looking bad.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah, exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

He's turning blue. Stacy Shannon in. My husband is a certified ethical hacker. Sure. And works in IT security. His best password tip is that the longer is better. You can string together three or four words you remember or even use a sentence. Like, my podcast is the best exclamation point. It will be harder to hack and easier to remember.

[Brian Bates]

I'm going to start using that password.

[Dusty Slay]

You want me to.

[Aaron Weber]

I just. This past weekend, I moved all my passwords into a password manager. It took forever. I got so mad trying to do it. It's so frustrating. I don't know if I'll ever change my passwords again after going through all that.

[Fiona Cawley]

But what's to keep the password manager being hacked? And then they've got all of them. The government.

[Dusty Slay]

My passwords are so good that I can't hack into my own account, so I don't have that problem. I got a new password every time I log in.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I do. Like when they suggest a password and I go, yeah, I'll use this one. And it doesn't save.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then I never looked at it. And then I go, okay, well, that works this time.

[Aaron Weber]

You got a new password every time to log in now. So frustrating. That's good advice, though, Stacy. Tell your husband. Thank you. Ethical hacker.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

What does that mean? Mapping historical anxiety.

[Brian Bates]

Yes, exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

That's good. He having technical.

[Brian Bates]

I think it means that he hacks, but he's nice about it.

[Fiona Cawley]

He's doing it to help learn.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah. So like the government or the military or even private companies, they want to find out where they're. Yeah, they want to find out where the holes are in their security. Right. So they can hire people to hack their own. Hack themselves, essentially, to find out where the. The holes are in the fence, you know. Mary from Michigan. Or just pay 89 and scan your eye. Mary from Michigan. Since the three of you are all from the south and also travel all over, I thought I would ask you guys your opinion on a great town to live in. We have kids and so we want a place that is good for a family. Not a big city, easy to navigate slash drive around.

[Brian Bates]

McMinnville.

[Fiona Cawley]

I was gonna say Saginaw.

[Aaron Weber]

Saginaw.

[Brian Bates]

She wants one in Michigan.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, no.

[Brian Bates]

Saginaw is one of the most dangerous places in the country.

[Fiona Cawley]

I was trying to be funny. All right, go ahead. McMinnville.

[Brian Bates]

McMinnville. Great place.

[Fiona Cawley]

Aren't you trying to sell your cabin?

[Brian Bates]

No, no.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Yeah. I got a good spot for you.

[Brian Bates]

Looking for a spot to rent, though. We can talk.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm going to throw out there. Rogers, Arkansas.

[Brian Bates]

That's a good one.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It's just. I talk about northwest Arkansas quite a bit, but it's just such a. Such a hidden gem.

[Brian Bates]

A girl told me that one time that she. She worked at a coffee shop there. I wrote a joke about out on the work of Man Special. She told me that Fayetteville is like the Portland of the South. That's what she said.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. Does she mean that in a nice way?

[Brian Bates]

She meant it in a good way.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. Fiona, have you. What's your favorite place you've been. You've been traveling a ton last two years now doing stand up all over.

[Fiona Cawley]

What's.

[Aaron Weber]

What's some of your favorite places that

[Dusty Slay]

you've got to go right now? I can only remember the last place I was.

[Aaron Weber]

That's how we are, too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Where were you?

[Dusty Slay]

It's for spring. Sorry. Springfield, Missouri.

[Aaron Weber]

I like Springfield.

[Brian Bates]

Springfield's great.

[Dusty Slay]

I think it would be good for kids. It's a cute little downtown. The people seem very happy.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Bit of a methy vibe, but it is okay. So is McMinnville.

[Dusty Slay]

The Internet's not great out there, so the math. I get it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. But it's a nice town. But it does have a little. A little bit of. He's like, underneath.

[Aaron Weber]

It's probably good to get scared a little bit.

[Brian Bates]

I Think so, too. You can't feel too safe out here.

[Dusty Slay]

It'll prepare your kids for the real world.

[Brian Bates]

Exactly. Yeah. You don't want to be. You don't want to let your guard down out here.

[Aaron Weber]

Right?

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Brian, what about you? What would you say?

[Fiona Cawley]

Lebanon?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it's a good place.

[Aaron Weber]

It's pretty biased.

[Fiona Cawley]

I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

He grew up.

[Dusty Slay]

I could tell.

[Brian Bates]

You know what?

[Aaron Weber]

That's not an insult, Brian.

[Fiona Cawley]

Was it? No, it kind of felt like it was.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm sorry. My voice is weird because of disability. And,

[Brian Bates]

You know, Opelika is not a bad place.

[Fiona Cawley]

And we're just all naming where we.

[Aaron Weber]

Montgomery.

[Brian Bates]

Well, but Auburn, you know, if you're going to go on that side of Lee County, Auburn is very.

[Fiona Cawley]

If you got to go left side of Lee county, that's what I would recommend.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I'm saying Lee county, if Opel

[Fiona Cawley]

or Auburn name is street now.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Mary, I would suggest driving down a pin and Grill.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I like Marie Cook Drive in Montgomery, Alabama. Yeah, Good. The da neighborhood. It's good.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Pen in Alabama's not bad. You're not gonna. There's not a lot going on.

[Aaron Weber]

Mary, I don't think you're getting a good answer from this. My name E. Oh, we got the next Ian Collie.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That is your last name, right?

[Dusty Slay]

C, A, U, L, Y.

[Aaron Weber]

So this guy's probably not related. Ian Cawley.

[Dusty Slay]

You better hope not.

[Aaron Weber]

I started a new channel.

[Brian Bates]

Friedrich's coming.

[Dusty Slay]

He going attack you.

[Aaron Weber]

You call it fa.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Fa.

[Dusty Slay]

Easier.

[Aaron Weber]

Ian Cawley. I started a new job earlier this year where I write a weekly newsletter introduction. I wrote about gratitude in our November newsletter. And one of my inspirations that I think a lot about, Aaron's question, why me? Both when his newborn first had health issues and when they were able to leave the hospital. That's a great perspective to have and still makes me tear up. Very nice. Thank you, Ian.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, that's definitely not related to Fiona.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, thank you, Ian. That's really nice. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Where's the newsletter?

[Fiona Cawley]

He just made that up.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, I'm joking.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

I don't. I don't know where the newsletter is going to get his comment.

[Aaron Weber]

We don't usually have attachments on the. Yeah, I don't even hear. Yeah, where's the PDF?

[Brian Bates]

You know why Me Lord is a good Kris Kristofferson song. Do you know?

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, no, that's a good one. I like his acting better than his singing.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, I gotta get you. I'll get you some songs. Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Dallas Owens. In high school, I worked at Olive Garden and every week the same family would come in and eat their entire meal without silver salad, pasta, everything. It was so disturbing. We would have to intentionally sit them in a section of the restaurant with nobody else in it.

[Brian Bates]

Wow, that's.

[Aaron Weber]

That's wild.

[Brian Bates]

That's insane. You know what? Side note? Olive Garden just sent me a little package. I got.

[Aaron Weber]

I saw that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I made a video. I have a joke about Olive Garden and they sent me a gift card, 100 gift card and a shirt and like a little pasta. Mr. Maker.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, there's no way they use a positive maker.

[Brian Bates]

My Jo. It's an old joke, but I say when you hang out with a lot of broke people, like I do all the time, everything's always fancy to them. Like the other day I was hanging out with my mom and we went to a restaurant and she was like, this is so fancy. And I was like, mom, it's Olive Garden. Of course it's fancy.

[Fiona Cawley]

Oh yeah, I remember that joke.

[Brian Bates]

Great classic joke.

[Fiona Cawley]

And we. Henry joke. Henry Cho has Olive Garden joke.

[Aaron Weber]

Does he?

[Fiona Cawley]

Basically same thing.

[Aaron Weber]

Is it really? I haven't heard it.

[Brian Bates]

Mine's older.

[Fiona Cawley]

His. He's like, where his wife grew up? Arab, Alabama. His brother in law said, we got a new Italian restaurant down here. And he's like, is it good? He's like, it ain't no Olive Garden.

[Aaron Weber]

That's pretty.

[Brian Bates]

That is funny. Well, you know what though? I one time I was driving my nephew around in Opelika to get some job applications and I was like, let me go to the Olive Garden. He. He said. Said unironically. Nah, that's too fancy.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Was he right?

[Dusty Slay]

Never been to him.

[Aaron Weber]

For him.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You never been to Olive Garden? Oh, we'll have to. There's one right by our house.

[Brian Bates]

You should go. I got a hundred dollar gift card. Let's all go.

[Aaron Weber]

40 people that. I'll go.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's sick.

[Aaron Weber]

Unlimited. The bread sticks are unbelievable.

[Fiona Cawley]

Bread sticks are great. The last one I've been to was the one over there. Close to your house.

[Dusty Slay]

When you're here, your family.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, for my wife's birthday.

[Fiona Cawley]

Was that it?

[Brian Bates]

You came to.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, I did come to that. Yeah. That was nice.

[Brian Bates]

You come. You didn't come.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, this is before we were friends.

[Fiona Cawley]

I didn't know about.

[Brian Bates]

This was years ago. I don't even think we had kids.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, you act like it's been 20 years. You've had kids for four years.

[Brian Bates]

This podcast has been on for six.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, y' all just having a good time without me.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I bet we invited you. I bet we invited you and you just didn't come.

[Fiona Cawley]

Like I had so much going on.

[Brian Bates]

Well, yes.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, you did.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's what I said when you didn't show up.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I definitely wasn't invited, if that makes you feel. But I wasn't born yet, though.

[Fiona Cawley]

All right.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm hurt, Brian. Why are they eating without silverware?

[Brian Bates]

That's disgusting.

[Dusty Slay]

Are they tipping with those fingies?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, you better tip big if you're with those thingies. Put on a thingies.

[Fiona Cawley]

Wow. Nothing but the tips.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

All right, let's talk about ultra pouches. The zero nicotine and caffeine free pouches. I started using them in the morning and then during any afternoon drag. We love them here. We use them over the cruise and found out how much we like them. It's not just for people trying to quit nicotine. It's for anybody looking for a little kick to keep the day going. They got the tropical flavor. I recommend that ultra pouches are packed with all kinds of stuff that are designed for mental clarity and enhanced focus. It's the same kick as a nicotine pouch without the side effects, the buzz, the addiction, the crash, the jitters, all that kind of stuff. You don't have to worry about it. Most pouches elevate cortisol, all raise blood pressure and keep your body in a constant stress state. Ultra pouches let you keep your pouches but with a cleaner kick. Ultra is the ultimate guilt free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. Now customers can use Code Nateland to get 15% [e-mail] that's takeultra.com for 15% off. Off with code Nateland. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you there. Brian Risley Riley.

[Dusty Slay]

Hilarious.

[Aaron Weber]

I was a junior in high school in 1990. Brian, you want to take this one?

[Fiona Cawley]

I was a senior in high school in 1990. I don't know what's funny about that.

[Aaron Weber]

I was a junior in high school in 1990 in Campbell, Missouri, a small town 30 miles from New Madison. Madrid fault I've been browning predicted a terrible earthquake would hit the my hit the fault on December 3rd. So much so that my school and many others canceled for two to three days. My dad had me work with them all day each day and no earthquake gain.

[Fiona Cawley]

So I looked up Ivan Brown. He's kind of a Dusty. A guy who.

[Aaron Weber]

Successful comedian.

[Fiona Cawley]

But. Yeah. But predicts a lot of other stuff and.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

And he got enough people worked up

[Aaron Weber]

that he's a self proclaimed climatologist.

[Fiona Cawley]

Exactly.

[Brian Bates]

And he's from Edna, Texas. Edna's my mom's name.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, there you go. It's all working.

[Brian Bates]

So.

[Aaron Weber]

So he said a terrible earthquake would hit and it never did.

[Fiona Cawley]

Shocking.

[Aaron Weber]

But they. But they canceled school for it just because he.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I wonder what he's basing.

[Dusty Slay]

Could you imagine having that much power?

[Brian Bates]

I can only hope. I can only hope.

[Fiona Cawley]

I sit in bed and worry about Dusty getting that power.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, it's. It's much different. But you know, my dad was principal of my high school and it was his call whether to cancel school for snow. His call alone.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh my God.

[Aaron Weber]

Because it was a private school. So it was just like you think we should open and man, the night before everybody be. Hit me up. You know, put some ice in the driveway. Put some water in the driveway tonight. Oh that's so you know you'd snowed in all that stuff. He very rarely can cancel it. He would get out there like 4am and drive the bus route all around just to see. Roads are fine all.

[Brian Bates]

Do you think he did that because he didn't want you to feel like he had some influence?

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think I was involved at all. I think his thing is we cancel school, we're gonna have to make up that day at the end of the year and that's just gonna make everything more complicated.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. There's really no reason to want the day off if you just gotta make it up later.

[Aaron Weber]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Dusty Slay]

Did any of your friends ever accidentally call your dad dad? Like at school? You know what I mean?

[Aaron Weber]

Did I ever call him dad?

[Dusty Slay]

No, no, no, no. Like your friend. Like you know when you accidentally fall. Teacher Mom.

[Aaron Weber]

I've never done that. No, never. Did you do that a lot? Is this the teacher that thought you were drunk? You kept calling her mom. Mom, I'm fine.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. That you're like I have a discipline. Yeah, I swear now did.

[Fiona Cawley]

What you mean called your mom Ms. Humphrey?

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Aaron Weber]

You say like love you too.

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Thanks, Mom.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. You know, I told a teacher I loved her, but that was a different situation.

[Aaron Weber]

But I knew what I was doing. No, that's crazy. I would call my dad Mr. Weber at school.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, do you hug? I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

It's just weird to be hey, dad. Hey, dad.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, hey Daddy.

[Aaron Weber]

Like do. But if I need I go hey, Mr. Weber. You know, and you're kind of doing it. A little tongue and cheek.

[Brian Bates]

Can I borrow some money, Mr. Weber?

[Aaron Weber]

Exactly.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my God.

[Aaron Weber]

That's very funny. I've never called my teacher. I mean, I had my mom as a teacher. My mom taught math.

[Dusty Slay]

I would call every teacher mom.

[Aaron Weber]

Even the. The men.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, mom. And they panic and lose weight. I did that just to keep them in check.

[Aaron Weber]

David Jones. My family was vacationing in Santa Rosa beach, and we went to an ice cream shop. The lady in front of us asked for a sample, and the manager told her no. That's what I'm talking about. The lady was in shock. The manager explained they're too busy in the summer months to give out samples. Congratulations, Aaron. You have won the battle. Hope it's worth the tears of many children. You know what, David? It was.

[Fiona Cawley]

Was.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm glad if I was involved in that at all. I don't think I was.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know how recent this was, but if I got the ball rolling even a little bit, I mean, that would be. I could die right now. I'll be happy.

[Brian Bates]

I think it depends on what the flavor is.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think that matters at all.

[Brian Bates]

Let me ask you this, though. If you're.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm very anti free samples place. I'm.

[Brian Bates]

I'm anti too many of them. But if you're asking, can I sample the cookies and cream, you know what, Cookies and cream.

[Dusty Slay]

Correct.

[Brian Bates]

But if it's some odd flavor, you may want to give it a go.

[Aaron Weber]

But I think that's part of the joy of it is discover something.

[Brian Bates]

Take a chance.

[Aaron Weber]

Roll the dice, dude. Try a flavor you never had before. If it's not good, you know what? You're going to keep living. The sun's going to come up the next day. Come on.

[Dusty Slay]

How do you feel about Costco?

[Aaron Weber]

Well, that's different because Costco just had. You know, they're not in the way. I'm talking about like an ice cream store.

[Dusty Slay]

People slow.

[Aaron Weber]

If there's a line, somebody's like, oh, can I try the.

[Brian Bates]

What is that?

[Aaron Weber]

Passion fruit? Can I try a little scoop of that? And then they go, I don't know about, oh, what's that?

[Brian Bates]

Pistachio.

[Aaron Weber]

And they take three hours.

[Brian Bates]

And then they go, I don't want anything.

[Aaron Weber]

And then they go, you know what? I'm actually good.

[Fiona Cawley]

I'm full.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my God.

[Aaron Weber]

Can I just get a water?

[Brian Bates]

I think in Costco, if you're like, hey, will you open this box of crackers? So I can try one. I think that's different.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Well, they doing that.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what? They might. Costco is pretty great. They might. Actually.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm allowed to say that.

[Brian Bates]

I like Costco. I'm a big fan.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't like ice cream.

[Aaron Weber]

So you're not an ice cream?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

What do you like? What do you do? Desserts?

[Fiona Cawley]

Anything.

[Dusty Slay]

I like carbs. Like a spaghetti sandwich.

[Aaron Weber]

Spaghetti sandwich?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's just spaghetti and bread?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You put like, spaghetti with meat and sauce?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Like the sauce is the spread.

[Aaron Weber]

Bread.

[Dusty Slay]

Garlic bread.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Cut the meatball in half for stability.

[Aaron Weber]

We gotta take you to Olive Garden.

[Fiona Cawley]

Apparently, they go all the time.

[Aaron Weber]

You can make. Well, our next outing will bring you along. Okay, Brian. Anyway, keep going.

[Fiona Cawley]

You don't like ice cream?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, no, I don't. I have a little bit of trauma. Feels like a crazy word.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'd like to hear about your ice cream trauma.

[Dusty Slay]

Like when my mom. When I was 9.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, geez.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You're about to be like, that's not as funny as I needed it.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, it's even more so.

[Dusty Slay]

When I was 9, my mom brought me there to get ice cream. Where Baskin Robbins brought me there.

[Aaron Weber]

You don't even want to say it. You brought me there.

[Dusty Slay]

Basket got me ice cream. I was so stoked. On the walk home, she was like, so, no. Your dad left?

[Aaron Weber]

No.

[Fiona Cawley]

Was this on Friday the 13th? All right, you. Yeah. You surprised us there.

[Brian Bates]

So every time I scream, I was surprised, too, Man. So if ice camera gets brought out, you go. This could be.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't even want to risk.

[Dusty Slay]

If you ask me, like, do you want to go get ice cream? I panic and assume you have something terrible to tell me. I told Matt, my number one.

[Brian Bates]

So if Matt goes, let's get ice cream. No, I want a divorce.

[Fiona Cawley]

Who is she?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you bring me ice cream, but you can't.

[Aaron Weber]

We're not going. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Sorry, Avery.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, Chris Halcomb. Has Dusty ever noticed the chain link fence that runs along both sides of Highway 7055 that cuts through McMinnville? You know, you can just DM dusty. This seems a little too specific. Has Dusty ever noticed the chain link fence that runs on along both sides of Highway 7055 that cuts through McMinnville? Only town I've ever seen that has this and is wondering if he knows why. It's kind of an eyesore.

[Brian Bates]

You know what? I've never noticed it. I don't even know what Highway 70 or 55 is, but next time I go, I'm going to be paying attention and I'll get you some answers.

[Aaron Weber]

Chris, feel free to reach out to him directly.

[Brian Bates]

I'll comment it on the YouTube, hoping that Brian picks it up. And then we'll.

[Aaron Weber]

We'll do a whole episode on chain link fences. And then.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, Highway 70 runs across Tennessee.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, that's the one we talked about last week.

[Brian Bates]

And it goes through McMinnville.

[Aaron Weber]

Goes right through McMinnville.

[Fiona Cawley]

According to Chris.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, interesting. All right.

[Aaron Weber]

Kind of an eyesore, though. According to Chris. Avery. According to Chris. That's funny.

[Brian Bates]

That's why people. That's why McMinnville is such a good spot. The chain link fence is keeping, you know, just any random people out of it.

[Aaron Weber]

The riff raffle.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank God for the fence.

[Aaron Weber]

Avery J. Semeka just wanted to provide some helpful info that a flight attendant pointed out to me. Often passengers will say direct flight when they mean non stop. A nonstop flight is from your origin to your destination on only one flight with no stops. A direct flight will keep you on the same plane, but will have at least one stop to let some passengers off and let more on. I have never heard anybody make that distinction before.

[Brian Bates]

I don't. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I thought they were interchangeable.

[Brian Bates]

Buying it. I mean, I also love how they put the J in there. As if there's a lot of Avery SaaS.

[Dusty Slay]

A little more distinction.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow. I mean, I mean, I googled it and that's, that's a, that's a difference that people talk about. But I think people know what you mean.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

If you say I have a direct.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's interesting.

[Aaron Weber]

I had no idea.

[Brian Bates]

I. I don't know. That does. Yeah. I mean, if I'm direct, if I'm going from this place to this place, that's a direct. A direct flight.

[Dusty Slay]

I've never been on a flight that they let me stay on the plane. If we stop them.

[Aaron Weber]

I have before.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

If it connects there and they go, you might as well just stay on the plane. And in Southwest they used to let you move up. You can get a better seat.

[Brian Bates]

You know, that would have been a policy that I would have not cared for.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

If I booked, you know, if I booked up, got myself in the. A boarding group and there's already. And then I board the plane, there's a bunch of people.

[Aaron Weber]

It has happened before. It makes me furious.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I don't like that.

[Aaron Weber]

But it doesn't happen anymore. Southwest fixed everything and everything's great.

[Brian Bates]

I love.

[Fiona Cawley]

We're Almost there for you.

[Aaron Weber]

We're almost there. Aaron Weber here. Let me tell you about Brunt workwear boots. I'll start with the wildest part about this company, Brunt Workwear. They actually let you wear their boots to work before deciding if you want to keep them.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Because it's one thing to walk around a store with them, but, like, you got to put them to the test. You got to get a real job site day, not just walking around your house. And if they're not right for you, you send them back for a full refund. That's a 100% risk free trial. Me and Dusty got a pair of the omens. Brian's got the Marin's right out of the box. They're so comfortable, there's no break in period. Just immediate comfort.

[Fiona Cawley]

Boom.

[Aaron Weber]

Ready to go. Brunt was founded by Eric Girard. He grew up blue collar, created Blunt after friends in the trades told him how these big brands were not catering to the real working man. Yeah, every Brunt product is named after real guys that Eric grew up with. Traditional boots make you choose between comfort and durability. That's no longer a choice you have to make. Brunt gives you both. Brunt is tired of the workwear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that do not hold up. So they built something better. Boots that are insanely comfortable and built for any job site. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt. When you use code Nate at checkout, just head to bruntworkwear.com. use code NATE and you are good to go. And after you order, they'll ask how you heard about Brun front. Do us a favor. Tell them it was from this show. Meg L. People without overhead luggage should get to have the front of the plane because they disembark immediately. Interesting.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I can.

[Brian Bates]

I can get down with that a little bit. Except for the fact that I have luggage and I get off right away. Yeah, I don't waste a lot of maybe. Ask the question. Are you gonna fiddle around with your back?

[Aaron Weber]

Ask him a question. Are you gonna fiddle around?

[Brian Bates]

Can you get it?

[Dusty Slay]

Can you get it? Small talkers should be in the back of the plane.

[Brian Bates]

Small talkers. Oh, meaning like also Dusty? Oh, yeah. No, no, not on a plane.

[Aaron Weber]

So we've got a package here. So, Fiona, we have a package. This is a product. We don't know what it is. It's something related to our topic.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, our topic this week is we don't know yet. Oh, okay.

[Brian Bates]

This package is going to tell us.

[Fiona Cawley]

All right. We don't know. Here, Fiona.

[Dusty Slay]

To.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. You want to look through it?

[Brian Bates]

I don't know.

[Fiona Cawley]

It's ticking.

[Aaron Weber]

It's.

[Dusty Slay]

What is it?

[Brian Bates]

It is.

[Aaron Weber]

Look at that model plane.

[Brian Bates]

It's the Wright brothers.

[Aaron Weber]

This is way. This is way more advanced than what the Wright brothers had.

[Brian Bates]

Right?

[Aaron Weber]

That looks like a World War II or one. One of them.

[Fiona Cawley]

I bet it's one of those.

[Aaron Weber]

Two.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Three.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. That is cool looking.

[Dusty Slay]

I like that. It's yellow.

[Fiona Cawley]

Today we are talking about air travel.

[Aaron Weber]

Air travel.

[Fiona Cawley]

So it sounds like you've got some things you want to get off your chest. So take it away.

[Aaron Weber]

Family.

[Fiona Cawley]

Dude, you got issues with Southwest?

[Dusty Slay]

I got issues with it being a disabled person at the airport. Like a real one?

[Aaron Weber]

Like.

[Brian Bates]

Like a real airport or a real disabled.

[Aaron Weber]

But don't you think with, like, the parking spots and everything, like, it balances out? I think it's even.

[Brian Bates]

What about. Don't you sometimes get. You get people in there that'll push you around? Oh, you have your own.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I push myself.

[Brian Bates]

What about. You ever get on the. Like, the car in the airport where the guy will go, get out of the way?

[Dusty Slay]

No, but I've almost been hit by one of those. Yeah. No, there's no benefit. They always think of a bomb on me.

[Fiona Cawley]

We were on.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

We were on the same flight once. And I. You know, this is when it was still a B and C boarding group. So I'm like, man, if I could buddy up with Fiona, I could get on way early.

[Dusty Slay]

I get to bring one person.

[Aaron Weber]

So you're not wasting that on Brian?

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. She found a stranger.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my God. I actually did that one time.

[Brian Bates]

People go, is he bothering you?

[Dusty Slay]

My. My flight got, like, delayed, and I ended up drinking at the airport bar in Las Vegas. And I met this older married couple. Now it's like, I get on the plane first, and they're like, oh, we're burning group C. And I was like. And come with me. And I was like, these are my parents. And I brought them with me.

[Brian Bates]

And they're like, actually, we're not that old.

[Dusty Slay]

That is exactly what happened.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah, they got offended. They go, now we'll sit in the center.

[Dusty Slay]

They were, like, 40, which is basically Matt's age. Me, My husband.

[Fiona Cawley]

So that was two. So you can't have more than one.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, only if I, like, cry a little bit.

[Fiona Cawley]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

And I gotta act a little more.

[Brian Bates]

And you'd been drinking, so you dial

[Aaron Weber]

it up a little yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You play the cards you have.

[Brian Bates]

You're drinking at the bar in Las Vegas Airport. You're sad already.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's true.

[Aaron Weber]

There's a real sadness.

[Dusty Slay]

Not a hard sell, you know?

[Aaron Weber]

Do you fly Southwest most of the time. Out of Nashville?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, yeah, and the reason used to be because of the unassigned seating, because that front row was reserved for disabled people, which makes a lot of sense because I can stand a little bit. So if I'm there, I can use the restroom on the plane if I need to. If I'm not, I'm not going to the bathroom. Like, period.

[Brian Bates]

They should still keep that.

[Dusty Slay]

The handicap thing. Yeah, I agree. You want to know what they did?

[Aaron Weber]

What?

[Dusty Slay]

So now you have to pick your seat, right? Like, all the other whatever. But the handicap seating is an extra $85 because it's seen as, like, their first class. So instead of having accessibility, the highest bidder gets it. And I have. You have to.

[Brian Bates]

That's the first negative I've seen with the new policy.

[Dusty Slay]

Dude, that's a huge negative.

[Brian Bates]

That's a huge.

[Dusty Slay]

So mad.

[Aaron Weber]

It's pretty crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, at least if you can prove. I don't know how you would prove it. I know when you're booking, but if you could prove it, it should be submit a video. But it's like, because you get it, though. I mean, some of the people that were boarding before were not.

[Dusty Slay]

I really agree, and I'm glad they're gone.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But they also. Yeah, I've seen a lot of that. I've heard had fake disabled people trying to use it just to board first or whatever, take all the handicap seats. And then I'm like,

[Aaron Weber]

I actually need that.

[Dusty Slay]

Don't look away. You better watch me struggle. Yeah, I like to make people watch.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's my thing. And, yeah, so that makes me pretty mad about Southwest right now. They told me that. That I could book my ticket and then call and tell them I'm a real disabled person. They'll give me that front seat if it's still available. I'm like, oh, what an angel. Thank you.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Jump through some hoops for us.

[Fiona Cawley]

Seriously, it seems like you could do something to prove it, and then it's always on your status. Like, every time you book an.

[Brian Bates]

I agree.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, the way you have to be like, TSA PreCheck. There should be like.

[Aaron Weber]

Like, a. Oh, I bet clear. Does disability. Disability authenticity.

[Brian Bates]

I bet they do.

[Fiona Cawley]

Are UTSA pre check or clear?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I'm just. I have God's prej.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, so they just let you through?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, now they do. I made a video that went real viral, and I mean to.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

What was it?

[Dusty Slay]

But I can stand a little bit, and sometimes I have good days, like, good body days. And I was at the airport, and I didn't want to wait for them to search me. So I was like, I'm gonna get in this thing, you know? And they were like, are you sure? And I was like, yeah. And the person I was with was already through, and she was recording. I told her to. And I just go, that was cool that I could do that.

[Aaron Weber]

You're talking about the thing where they put your arms up like that.

[Dusty Slay]

So, like, these ladies are kind of holding on to me, and I'm like, don't touch me. And then I do. Anyways, that video went really viral. The caption was, I chose to do this because I didn't want confusion. I was at the airport a couple weeks ago, and they put me through immediately now. And they were like, I want you to know BNA got thousands of emails.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

Based on that video. People were furious because they thought they forced me out of my chair, even though I said they did didn't. And they were like. The funniest part was one of the ladies helping you in the video was the head supervisor, and she was like. She asked. I'm like. She asked where I was wearing next.

[Aaron Weber]

That's awesome. Well, you have. You created change.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I hope you get thousands of emails for this Southwest thing that we.

[Dusty Slay]

I really.

[Brian Bates]

Even though I'm a big supporter of what Southwest has done with one change, make this change.

[Aaron Weber]

We also. We need to film a viral video of you stuck behind. I'm going to stand on the moving walkway. Walkway. And then I'm, like, blocking you. And then we'll post that, and then it'll get them to enforce. What do you think?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what I'm saying?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Nobody standing on the move.

[Aaron Weber]

Standing on the moving walkway.

[Dusty Slay]

You better be moving a moving walkway.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you use the moving walkways?

[Dusty Slay]

I tried, and I got yelled at. That is the truth. Yeah, they're real fun in the wheel.

[Brian Bates]

I bet. So especially you got the motorized one.

[Dusty Slay]

You really get going.

[Brian Bates]

The wind going in there

[Fiona Cawley]

60 miles an hour.

[Dusty Slay]

It's all day. It's kind of like being outside.

[Aaron Weber]

Are there. Are there airports that are, like, so much worse than others for you to have to get around?

[Dusty Slay]

What's the ones with trains?

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, sure.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my goodness.

[Aaron Weber]

Tampa, Atlanta, Denver. Denver. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Charlotte's. No trains, but do you like that Charlotte airport?

[Fiona Cawley]

He wants to say, no, I don't.

[Dusty Slay]

I can't remember.

[Aaron Weber]

If you fly Southwest, you don't fly. You don't fly through Charlotte that often.

[Brian Bates]

I did a American for so long, and I went to Charlotte a ton of times.

[Fiona Cawley]

Dallas, Fort Worth.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I always go to Love because I'm Southwest.

[Brian Bates]

What do you do? Oh, there's an elevator. I was going to say because you have to go up to get on that train in Dallas, but there is an elevator.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my gosh. The worst airport is the Atlanta airport.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I always try to avoid it.

[Dusty Slay]

Everyone's faking their disability. This is a true story. Can I. Is this too much airport dog?

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

This is the topic of the episode.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

This.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm sorry. We have nothing else to talk.

[Brian Bates]

That's all we.

[Dusty Slay]

You're like. We're really banking on this. Yeah, dude. So I'm at the Atlanta airport. When I'm alone, I do. They're wheelchair attendants, Right. The people you see pushing people. I have an electric wheelchair. I'm good on that end. But when I'm alone, I have bags. I want them to roll them for me so I can get right. So I'm rolling up to the wheelchair tenant. It's like family of seven or eight. People run past me on their legs. Okay. Sprinting past me. And they all go. We all need chairs. They have to line up, like, eight wheelchairs. There are only like, five attendants working. Oh, my God. And so, like, they're, like, taking them and we're all going to the same freaking place.

[Brian Bates]

They run by you.

[Dusty Slay]

They run by me.

[Brian Bates]

All need chairs. Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

So then there's so few attendants. I showed up two and a half hours early from my flight. I almost miss my flight. Like, I'm like, there, like, with 25 minutes to spare.

[Brian Bates]

I think if you take a chair and you don't need it, you go to jail.

[Dusty Slay]

I agree.

[Aaron Weber]

I think at least ban from the airport.

[Dusty Slay]

I have, I think, some jail fix, I think, for that.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

But no. So we're all going to the same place.

[Brian Bates]

So break their legs so they need them.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I want you to feel the pain. I feel.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's equality.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

If you're so jealous, let's be real about that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, equality. Is everyone in a wheelchair

[Dusty Slay]

no more top shelves? No. I think if you use the perks of being disabled, which is getting on first, you should have to get off last. Like I do. I have to wait for everyone to Deborah every day. But okay. So his Family were all on the same flight, and they're.

[Brian Bates]

They fat?

[Aaron Weber]

Were they a bunch of fat people? They weren't.

[Dusty Slay]

No. I know. And that pissed me off, too.

[Brian Bates]

Well, she did say they ran past

[Aaron Weber]

her, but it could have been. It could have been ugly.

[Dusty Slay]

Could have been all they had. And no. So now there's one attendant, and there's two people in the family. Sisters, I believe. And then me and the guy's just, like, doing their chair and rolling my bag with poor dude, you know? And I'm, like, trying to help. I don't know. We get to the gate, all right, we're boarding now. And the people are like, you get to get on first, Fiona. And these people that were lying were furious serious that I was getting on before that. Like, so mad. They also thought the airport gave me my electric wheelchair, and they were mad they didn't get one. And I was by myself, so I'm just like, okay. Wow. And so I get on the plane, and now the two ladies that were, like, going with me, they're sitting next to me in the handicap brow, and I'm on the inside. So if I have to go to the bathroom, they gotta get up because I can't, like, scooch past you. So I did have to use the restroom at one point, and I was like, hey, would y' all mind getting up? Like, I can't walk that well. I have to go to the bathroom. And they were like, we're disable 2. We don't have to refuse to get up.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

And I had to ding the flight attendant. I was like, this is awkward. I have to go to the bathroom.

[Aaron Weber]

They won't move.

[Dusty Slay]

They won't move. And they were like, you have to get up. And they started screaming about how they were disabled too. They got on the plane in chairs too, and the flight. And it was like, I saw you walk on. You're just stand up for a minute.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

They get up, I go to the bathroom. I'm coming back. And flight in's like, helping me walk. Like, it's not pretty. And some random guy on the blame was like, oh, my God. Fiona Colley. I'm a huge fan. These ladies. See. See this? And I sit down, and I'm like, who are you? And I was like, don't worry about me.

[Aaron Weber]

Your worst nightmare.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, I will be talking about this on Public Figures.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow. Wow, that's so crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that people are the worst. That validates what I've been saying all along, was that people faking. It's so like, when I. When I used to be boarding and I would watch all these people going on, I'm like, there's no way that all of you and people. When I talked about it on this podcast, people acted like I was somehow making fun of disabled people. I'm saying the people don't need it. Are the people, like, they should be publicly ridiculed?

[Dusty Slay]

I agree. I think that's the grossest thing you can do.

[Fiona Cawley]

When you guys landed, did the.

[Dusty Slay]

They run off the plane? Yeah, they did. They ran right off.

[Brian Bates]

And I should be banned from flying.

[Dusty Slay]

I tried to trip them, but I don't disagree.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't. The no fly list. That's what it should be for.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

It's terrible.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Why would they care so much about not standing up that they would lie about being disabled? Just get up.

[Brian Bates]

It's because they were mad that the airport gave her an electric wheel, so

[Fiona Cawley]

they were taking it out on her. Wow, that's crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, so mad. Like it's.

[Aaron Weber]

That was Delta, though.

[Dusty Slay]

No, Southwest.

[Aaron Weber]

Whoa.

[Dusty Slay]

That was before the sign. Seated.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, so that is true.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe it deters some of the.

[Brian Bates]

Hopefully, like the. The $85 is unreal. But if, like, I feel like if you can prove ahead of time, like something that stays, like we talked about, something that stays on, then you don't pay. And then the people trying to fraud them system I like, deterred by.

[Dusty Slay]

I would submit on my Southwest account my, like, diagnosis papers or like a doctor's note.

[Brian Bates]

You would do that?

[Dusty Slay]

I totally would.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Is that crazy?

[Aaron Weber]

No, no, no, not at all. I just, I've never thought about that before.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, if that. That's a really good idea. Get like a legitimate dog. Nah. Running into weird territory.

[Aaron Weber]

You think?

[Dusty Slay]

So people fake it.

[Brian Bates]

I think if they go to that length to fake it, though, they deserve it. Not deserve it, but I think most people wouldn't go to that length. These people that you talk about probably would.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

But running to a wheelchair and saying, I need someone to push me.

[Aaron Weber]

Yep. That's crazy. It's amazing because I've taken a flight with you when me, you and Lucy. I can't. Went to LA or something. And it is, it is interesting, like, because I, you know, we don't have to think about this kind of stuff on a day to day basis. And once you kind of see all the things that you have to go through, doing these things that are routine for me, it's like, it's pretty wild and it makes me think about that Stuff now, like, just as I'm going around the airport and stuff. And I haven't used a handicap stall since.

[Dusty Slay]

Very proud of you.

[Aaron Weber]

Actually. Don't know if that's true. I'm sure I have, but I think about it, dude.

[Fiona Cawley]

I used one this morning.

[Brian Bates]

I'm in and out, though. Yes.

[Fiona Cawley]

We drove to the airport.

[Brian Bates]

I'm in and out.

[Dusty Slay]

I finally said something to someone in the handicaps. Really? I always kind of, like, get nervous, and I end up just being like, don't do that.

[Aaron Weber]

What do you say?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I was waiting. It was the airport.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Nashville.

[Aaron Weber]

Nashville airport.

[Dusty Slay]

And this lady's in the ending of stall. And there's always this chance that you might be disabled, you know, so I'm not gonna. But every other stall is open. The only one taken is that one. And that's what gets me. And the rest are full. I understand.

[Brian Bates]

Yes. And that's what I've said, too. Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Or if it's like, one and two, I'm not gonna assume the only normal one wasn't dead getting. If someone's, you know. But for in, like, an airport situation, what are you doing?

[Brian Bates]

But also, they're just in there on their phone.

[Dusty Slay]

I know.

[Brian Bates]

Just get in and out. That's why I think there needs to be a door.

[Aaron Weber]

You should do yonder bags.

[Fiona Cawley]

Let me ask you this, Fiona. If I went in a restroom and every stall was open except the handicap one, that would make me think more than ever, that person must really be handicapped.

[Dusty Slay]

Right. I actually thought that, too, because I was like, you can't be this dumb or this bad of a person. Like, you had to walk to the very end of the stall.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

To get there.

[Brian Bates]

People underestimate how bad most people are.

[Dusty Slay]

Really bad.

[Brian Bates]

There's a Luke Bryant song called I Believe.

[Aaron Weber]

I Believe Most People Are Good.

[Brian Bates]

And it's like, it's. Why does he believe that? It's not true at all. And most mamas aren't qualified for sainthood either. He doesn't know a lot of the moms.

[Fiona Cawley]

I know with all this bathroom talk and that. I gotta go. All right.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

How about that? You come this way. Make us all get up.

[Dusty Slay]

No, but this lady was going to the bathroom and handicap style. I'm waiting, and she opens the door. Big fur jacket, no suitcase. Not even, like, couldn't fit my. Like, not no bag.

[Aaron Weber]

Fur jacket.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe she needed the coat hook. Handicap stone.

[Dusty Slay]

She looked at me and she was, oh, I'm sorry. And I said, I don't think you

[Aaron Weber]

are Oh, I love it. I love it.

[Dusty Slay]

It's. Every other stall is open here. And she tried to be like, isn't that a handicap? So I was like, no. And then she looked and I was like, don't do it again. And I was so proud of myself. Cuz I get real nervous. Band.

[Brian Bates]

I like that.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's good.

[Dusty Slay]

Just.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's crazy. I think a fur coat in the. In the airport bathroom is gross. Doesn't that feel. It's probably soaked. You got to get that dry clean

[Brian Bates]

out of the way. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I saw someone smoking a cigarette and they upsell at the bna.

[Brian Bates]

Really?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I was like, oh, you can pass.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. One time getting off the airport in Nashville, coming up the jet bridge, a guy lit a cigarette and smoked it all the way on the jet bridge and then dropped it on the floor in the airport, stepped on it and kept going.

[Dusty Slay]

That's cool.

[Brian Bates]

I was like, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

[Aaron Weber]

That's pretty cool.

[Brian Bates]

I was like, way to go, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Can he be my dad?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Maybe he is the kind of guy that would leave. I bet his mom would have to get the ice cream.

[Aaron Weber]

Now, what's a great airport? What is the Nashville one pretty good? All things.

[Dusty Slay]

I really do love the Nashville. It's just people everywhere kind of are bad in Nashville. Airport's great. I'm always happy to come back to it.

[Brian Bates]

I love the Nashville airport.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, I used to. I interned at a PR company here in Nashville. One of our clients was Nashville Airport. And I wrote a couple of their press releases. This was when I was like 23. And the Nashville airport, they've innovated in a lot. They were the first airport to allow Uber and Lyft to pick up and drop off at the airport.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

And they were the first airport or. And I don't know if they were the first one, but early, very early on to allow people to. You can take open containers of alcohol around the airport. They were like innovators in that way.

[Dusty Slay]

And I remember two things seem connected.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what? Yeah, you know what? I should have made that connection. Speaking of which, you can drink now. You know, but let me.

[Fiona Cawley]

Do you want to say something?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

I was going to ask about. A few days ago, the Tampa airplane airport issued a press release saying no more pajamas in the airport.

[Brian Bates]

I was told what? That was fake.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, they're not.

[Dusty Slay]

How do you prove. How can you prove it?

[Aaron Weber]

You can smell it.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey, pajamas are pajamas until you're outside. Now you're just comfy.

[Fiona Cawley]

They're not going to enforce it, but they're encouraging it.

[Brian Bates]

Right, right.

[Dusty Slay]

For a while I got.

[Brian Bates]

I actually. Because I retweeted it and said way to go, Tampa. And then I got it got fat fact checked.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, we got community.

[Dusty Slay]

Wait, you're anti. Why?

[Brian Bates]

Well, I just want people to dress better in public.

[Dusty Slay]

You tell my Grandpa, he's literally 94.

[Aaron Weber]

You want people to dress better for why?

[Fiona Cawley]

He wants to wear suits and ties.

[Brian Bates]

I don't want you to have to dress up, but I do want you to wear your outdoor clothes.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, but sitting is so uncomfortable.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it can be. Again, if you're wheelchair bound, you do what you need to do.

[Dusty Slay]

I get to do what you need to do. Okay.

[Brian Bates]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

Onesies.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, you do what you need to do.

[Dusty Slay]

You're gonna make different.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I mean, if people have other difficulties in life, you get many passes in my book. But if you're just, you know, you're running to a wheelchair, you should not be allowed to whip a job.

[Aaron Weber]

You better be in a sundress.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

No Tweety bird pants.

[Dusty Slay]

What about like a matching track tracksuit?

[Brian Bates]

Tracksuit.

[Dusty Slay]

Tracksuits can look at leisure every. Okay. I can get them bored. You mean like. No, like, like, like Mickey Mouse pj.

[Brian Bates]

Exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

Cookie Monster.

[Brian Bates]

And you're in. In like fluffy shoes. House shoes.

[Aaron Weber]

And you got a pillow with you. And you look like you just Crocs.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I wear Crocs to the airport every time.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm wearing crocs right now. But Dusty's a cr. Croc guy as well.

[Brian Bates]

I have a pair of crocs that I wear around the house.

[Aaron Weber]

Have a pair. Trying to backtrack from it.

[Brian Bates]

No, my father trying to hawk them

[Aaron Weber]

on Instagram not long ago. Right.

[Brian Bates]

Well, my father and I did say this. My father in law was like, hey, I got these Crocs. Do you want them? And I said, no, I'm anti croc. And he goes, no, no, take them, take them. They're your size. I go, I don't want them. And then he offered a third time. I go, okay, I'll take them.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then I was wearing them a lot after that.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, they're pretty awesome.

[Dusty Slay]

I had had an incredibly similar croc experience. Matt's mom, my mother in law, bought me Crocs and I was like, thank you so much, Kathy. I'm never gonna wear these. Yeah, I wear them all the time. I also. Disability hack.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'm looking for one.

[Dusty Slay]

If you're disabled okay. Showering. Real scary. Especially when you travel. Cause the ground in the shower can be real slippery.

[Brian Bates]

Interesting.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You can wear your freaking croc and

[Aaron Weber]

those are good shower shoes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Wear them in the shower every time because they're like anti slip mats on your feet.

[Brian Bates]

You know, when I waited tables, I used to wear crocs because they were anti slip.

[Aaron Weber]

Really?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait, where at? At Hyman's.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, it was either that or the shoes for cruise Hyman Seafood.

[Dusty Slay]

Very cool. No, I love that. Keep going. Keep.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, but I have jokes about it. But yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it's a good spot actually. If you're in Charleston, go check it out.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

My name's on the wall in there.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. He's got a little plaque on the table too.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

They really are proud of.

[Brian Bates]

They are very. Well, they're well aware of the jokes about their name.

[Aaron Weber]

They, they live with it.

[Dusty Slay]

It's kind of good marketing if they just leaned into it.

[Brian Bates]

I had some, you know, I had some taglines for. I can't say but I had some taglines that I thought would be good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's hilarious.

[Fiona Cawley]

Guys, can I have a minute with you? Talk about some glasses. Buying glasses used to feel way more complicated than ever needed to be. Everything was overpriced, the styles felt outdated and somehow you needed a spreadsheet just to understand what you were buying. Shopping online. Don't even get me started. How are you supposed to know if frames will look good on your face from one tiny picture? That's why I only use Warby Parker. They've completely changed the experience. Their virtual try on is a total game changer. That's video of Abby, our producer trying on. You can just point your phone camera and instantly see frames on your face in real time. I've tried other virtual try ons that felt off, but Warby Parker's actually work. You can really tell how the glasses will look and fit. And when it comes to quality for the price. Don't even get me started on this, guys. Unbeatable. Their prescription glasses start at just $95. So you don't have choose between stylish frames and affordability anymore. They even have over 300 retail stores if you want to shop in person. So Warby Parker gives you quality and better looking prescription eyewear at a fraction of the going price. Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs prescription [e-mail] Nateland that's 15% off when you buy two pair of glasses. @w a r b yparker.com. now, after you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. What should they say?

[Aaron Weber]

Be honest.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I would say the Public Figures podcast there not just this show. Be specific about what it is.

[Fiona Cawley]

Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Public Figures podcast.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's right. Fiona, do you watch movies on planes? Do you sleep?

[Dusty Slay]

What's your I listen to murder podcast? It's the only thing that puts me

[Aaron Weber]

to sleep on speakerphone.

[Dusty Slay]

He's got Apple headphones.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, nice. The big ones?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, okay. And they do noise canceling too, right? Yeah, those are legit.

[Dusty Slay]

Those are real legit.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. I like, I like a noise canceling headphone. I, I plug in. I never go wireless, but I, I do like noise canceling.

[Aaron Weber]

Why don't. You don't like wireless?

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

You know.

[Fiona Cawley]

You don't like wires. Oh, yeah. You don't like wireless. Yeah, I gotta confuse myself.

[Aaron Weber]

You like a cord.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I, I, the reason that I got into headphones originally was because I didn't want to hold the phone to my head. And then, so then when wireless came around, I started wearing them. And then I go, well, that's basically all that is just now being transmitted to my head.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And so I, I go, I go wired.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

No Bluetooth.

[Dusty Slay]

No. No. I don't understand.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

For.

[Aaron Weber]

Why?

[Brian Bates]

Well, well, there's radiation.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. So it's like a health concern.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. And you know what? I stopped. I used to get vertigo. Who knows, I could have it when I leave here, but I stopped getting it when I stopped wearing my Bluetooth headsets.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Really?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And you haven't had it since.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Maybe that's what's wrong with me.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I got those, those Apple earphones in high school.

[Dusty Slay]

Ever since then I've been in the wheels.

[Fiona Cawley]

Try some wires.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah, well, that's, you know, maybe. I don't know. Who am I to. I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

Wouldn't that be crazy, though? You wire headsets and then you're like,

[Dusty Slay]

we found out it was something real simple. You need to eat ice cream and.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's all it took. And not wear Crocs and not work.

[Dusty Slay]

If that's a doctor's order.

[Fiona Cawley]

But you wrote your book on the plane, right?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

In one plane, right?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

That's why they had to get from Nashville to Chattanooga.

[Aaron Weber]

Malevolent. It's not good. But I.

[Brian Bates]

No, I did.

[Dusty Slay]

It's all about the guys that next.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I do have a flight section. But. Flight complaints. But the. Yeah, I mean, because I. I like movies though. I watch a lot of Columbo on the, on the flights.

[Aaron Weber]

It's a TV show.

[Brian Bates]

It's a TV show, but there's. They're movie length, they're short movie length. And a lot of the planes are, you know, hour and a half or less. A lot of columbo episodes. Hour 15 to an hour and a half. Perfect movies they are. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Columbo episodes are typically 70 to 100 minutes long.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

That's crazy.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's very interesting.

[Aaron Weber]

They function more like TV movies than standard 60 minute dramas. I had no idea about that.

[Brian Bates]

So you guys joke about it, not be in a movie? Seems less funny now.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, it wasn't even great in the.

[Dusty Slay]

Seems like someone owes someone an apology.

[Fiona Cawley]

You're right. Dusty owe your apology. Aaron, do you have anything you want to say?

[Aaron Weber]

No, I'm good.

[Fiona Cawley]

Fiona, did you get the airport early?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, two hours at least.

[Aaron Weber]

Two hours before departure or before boarding, before boarding. So 9:30 flight. You're getting there 7.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You have to. When you're physically disabled, you have to account for a lot of extra time. I don't, I can't run.

[Brian Bates]

I'm two hours early and I, you know, and I'm, you know, I don't have it. Yeah, I mean, I'm. I like to get there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I don't like the stretch.

[Brian Bates]

I was there so long one time and then Brian showed up right as the flight was boarding. I. I never pictured Brian to be that relaxed about flying.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You don't get that. That's shocking.

[Fiona Cawley]

I mean, why y' all like hanging out the airport all day?

[Brian Bates]

That's why people always say Brian looks worried. And Brian's is pretty chill.

[Dusty Slay]

He should be maybe a little more worried.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. If I was in a wheelchair, I'd get there 15 minutes before takeoff. Just zip right in.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

I would never slow down. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

What are some things that. That the airport should do, like would be easy for airports to do to make things. Things easier that are like something that I might not even think of. Like if you were designing an airport from scratch.

[Brian Bates]

This is a question for Fiona.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. Is this just for Fiona?

[Aaron Weber]

Y' all can weigh in if I

[Fiona Cawley]

got some stuff I'd like to check.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you start.

[Fiona Cawley]

I think. No, I always think about what you say, Aaron, about baggage claim and if they just had a. Maybe a pace it off something just indicate people stay behind this line.

[Dusty Slay]

Dude.

[Brian Bates]

Then I kind of listen to him.

[Fiona Cawley]

Dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. Why are we rushing that every. Like, you'll see your bag.

[Fiona Cawley]

Sorry, you.

[Aaron Weber]

But you can't even see it. If everybody I know herds up to it, it makes me.

[Brian Bates]

You should get a. I'm a. I'm a little guilty. I'm a little guilty of when I see my bag, I go to it.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, sure, you get real.

[Brian Bates]

But when I Right when it comes

[Aaron Weber]

out of the thing.

[Brian Bates]

But I don't cross, crowd the line.

[Aaron Weber]

If we stand back, I, I. One of these days I'm gonna have a Fiona moment where I'm gonna stand up for myself at the airport. I'm gonna go, hey, everybody, if we all just back up, we can all see our bags.

[Fiona Cawley]

Huh?

[Brian Bates]

And if I'm there and don't know Aaron, I go, that guy won't shut up that he works for the airport.

[Aaron Weber]

What? I get no support from it, but nobody does anything. But there are airports where they have it marked off, but it's, it's, it's not marked off far enough off back. Some of these airport, they got five feet, they got a little line. That's a gentle suggestion. We need an armed police officer there that says 30ft back from the carousel,

[Brian Bates]

gun drawn at all times.

[Dusty Slay]

No gentle suggestion, just aggressive comments.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I want people when they get to the Nashville airport to go, what is this, Bosnia? But it's Nashville. Yeah, that's how seriously I want them to take.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Okay. Did you have some in mind? Anybody else think of some?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, mine's all disability related.

[Fiona Cawley]

Boring.

[Brian Bates]

Mine's on. Mine's all moving, sidewalk and escalator related.

[Aaron Weber]

It's all human behavior.

[Brian Bates]

But I'm like, just. If you want to stand, fine, but just stand to the one side and so that other people can move along. Because I think most individual people, People get that. But sometimes when they're coupled up, they want to stand next to each other.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And it's like.

[Aaron Weber]

Which is crazy.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Just get out of the way. Let, Let me roll through.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like same side sitters.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you ever sit same side with Matt at like a restaurant when you

[Brian Bates]

guys are alone, just the two of you only.

[Dusty Slay]

Cause sometimes he can't hear it. I want to busiers.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

So Matt has a disability.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. He makes me look real able. No, you can't hear me that well. I'm very soft spoken.

[Brian Bates]

Well, you wouldn't want to be. So you have to. If you do same side, it has

[Dusty Slay]

to be in the good ear.

[Fiona Cawley]

Or like Olive Garden where these guys go.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Our parties get pretty wild. We have A good time.

[Brian Bates]

Can't believe you never come.

[Dusty Slay]

I think airport should have a wall of shame.

[Aaron Weber]

I love this. I love this.

[Dusty Slay]

Stick with me when it brings up me up. You may not have noticed, and I am furious about. About it.

[Aaron Weber]

I hope I didn't do it.

[Dusty Slay]

No, this is no one's fault but somebody. And. Okay. You know, at airports, every airport, there's like, the normal male, female bathrooms, right?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

There's also just a separate bathroom. It's one big bathroom. It's for families. So people with a small kid.

[Brian Bates]

Totally get that.

[Dusty Slay]

And disabled people. Yeah, that's correct. To me, they're changing it.

[Aaron Weber]

What are they doing?

[Brian Bates]

Oh, no.

[Dusty Slay]

Families, slash handicap, slash gender neutral. Okay. Okay. And I'm not trying to make a political statement. I'm making. It's about utility.

[Brian Bates]

You're crowding it up. Yeah, you're crowding it up.

[Dusty Slay]

Like. And anyone can say they are that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Sorry, am I being.

[Brian Bates]

You just. You need a bathroom. You need the bathroom. Right leg.

[Dusty Slay]

Disabled people and children.

[Brian Bates]

It's crowding it up.

[Aaron Weber]

We want to accommodate. We want to accommodate everybody, make everybody feel good, but not at the expense of us. Right, Right. Like, build a separate bathroom. That's whatever you want to do.

[Fiona Cawley]

Separate water fountains.

[Dusty Slay]

What? Stop there.

[Fiona Cawley]

Exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

They do have separate water fountains. The shorter one.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I let Matt use that one. For those of you that don't know, my husband is a little guy.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, he's not a little. Yeah, he's not like Nick. No, Vicky.

[Aaron Weber]

But yeah. You are taller than me.

[Dusty Slay]

I am.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And in the chair.

[Aaron Weber]

Matt's in the next room. Guys, come on.

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Brian Bates]

We got Matt coming in for their rebuttal. I don't think that about. I don't think of Matt as a short guy.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't think of it either.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I love it. Oh, it's fun to joke that he's short.

[Fiona Cawley]

How tall is matt?

[Dusty Slay]

5 7. I don't like tall people. It hurts my neck to look up at.

[Brian Bates]

I don't like tall people either. That's something I say routinely.

[Dusty Slay]

It's suspicious.

[Aaron Weber]

Five seven is average. That's average height.

[Brian Bates]

I think it's five eight.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm talking about world.

[Fiona Cawley]

I have. We're having too much fun. So I got some stats here.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, let's break it down a bit.

[Fiona Cawley]

How many flights in the U.S. do you think goes out daily? And I'll preface it by saying I would have been so low.

[Brian Bates]

10,000.

[Dusty Slay]

23,000.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, I'm gonna go 23,001.

[Fiona Cawley]

And I'll just say for the record, I would have guessed like a thousand. Yeah, 45,000.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow, that's a ton. Most of it from Atlanta.

[Fiona Cawley]

Some days is over 50,000, but on average, 45,000 flights a day just in

[Brian Bates]

the U.S. it's weird that two people would have to go to the bathroom on this one podcast, but I gotta go.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, this is what Fiona is teaching us, is to stand up for ourselves and just. And don't, you know, don't wait for the world to accommodate you. Sometimes you have to stand up and,

[Dusty Slay]

you know, if you can stand up for yourself, do it.

[Aaron Weber]

See, before you came on the pod, we would all just hold it and be uncomfortable the whole time. But now we're like, let's just get after it now. I'm, like, young and so I don't have to worry about this kind of stuff. But, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I don't.

[Fiona Cawley]

Were you making a joke about how we could just stand up and go? Do you need to go? No. Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm wearing a diaper. Don't worry. I am not. There are a lot of rumors online. Because I make that dough go up.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Don't worry, guys.

[Fiona Cawley]

I was worried.

[Dusty Slay]

Not yet.

[Fiona Cawley]

They just announced the airports that have the best percentage of getting off on time and the worst percentage of getting off on time. I think that's what I emailed you.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

You want to.

[Dusty Slay]

Of what?

[Aaron Weber]

Of delays or the most flight disruptions and the least flight disruptions.

[Dusty Slay]

Like where? Yeah, which airports the most?

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, what's the. Basically, what's the worst airport in terms of cancellations and, you know, flight delays and all that kind of stuff.

[Fiona Cawley]

We'll ask Dusty because he'll be back. So he didn't wash his hands, so.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, it'll be real quick.

[Dusty Slay]

Keeping it Dusty.

[Aaron Weber]

We've got the list here.

[Fiona Cawley]

I would guess without looking. I mean, I see the list here, but I would have guessed places that have bad weather, like New York. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

LaGuardia.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you think New York is a bad weather city?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah,

[Aaron Weber]

I guess I would have. I would have said, like, Buffalo or something like that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

But New York.

[Fiona Cawley]

Maybe she just missed the state.

[Dusty Slay]

It's too hot now.

[Aaron Weber]

I saw. I saw the list, but the. The number one answer I would have got right just because it got talked about a lot last year as being, like, the worst airport in the country. Oh, it did, yeah. Yeah. Like, waiting on. Should we just keep going without Dusty? We don't need him. You want me to just play both parts?

[Fiona Cawley]

All right, Dusty.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. That's all right. We're Talking about. We found a list of the best airports in the country and the worst airports in the country in terms of flight disruptions. Okay, now what's your instinct for what's the worst airport in the country in terms of flight disruptions?

[Brian Bates]

I think it's. I think it's got to be Chicago. It's got to be o'.

[Dusty Slay]

Hare.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay, that's.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I just went to that airport, o'.

[Fiona Cawley]

Hare.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I think there's potential that there could be a small one that's very.

[Aaron Weber]

Now think about a one that's maligned a lot by comedians and is talking.

[Brian Bates]

I think o' Hare is.

[Aaron Weber]

O' Hare's up there. But there's. There's a real bad one.

[Brian Bates]

I mean, I don't like Charlotte. Boom.

[Aaron Weber]

Newark. Yeah, Newark Airport.

[Fiona Cawley]

But o' Hare is number two.

[Aaron Weber]

O' Hare is number two.

[Brian Bates]

And it's.

[Dusty Slay]

Dang. I was pretty close, too.

[Aaron Weber]

And you know what New York was. I'm sorry. Yeah. You know what? Y' all are all kind of right, because it's Newark, O', Hare, and then LaGuardia.

[Brian Bates]

I've never had a problem with LaGuardia, and I've never flown to Newark.

[Aaron Weber]

Last year, 29% of passengers had their flight disrupted in some way. Wow. 29%.

[Brian Bates]

And I don't fly to LaGuardia a lot. I mean, I guess I'm only. If I go to New York City is the only time I use that. I'm never connecting.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, sure.

[Brian Bates]

I connect tons of times through o'. Hare.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I had to fly the new Newark a lot when I would. They do a lot of clinical trails.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

At the airport.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Next to the Annie Anne.

[Brian Bates]

But I think these are all very busy airports, so I just think it's natural to have this happen. Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Dude, Atlanta is not in the top

[Fiona Cawley]

10, and there's also a list of the least disrupted.

[Aaron Weber]

But Atlanta is the busiest airport in the country.

[Brian Bates]

It's a good weather city, though.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

I feel like there's never any reason.

[Aaron Weber]

Look, here's Miami. Miami's in at number seven. 27 of flights are disrupted, I think.

[Dusty Slay]

I hate the Miami.

[Brian Bates]

Miami airport's an old airport. You, like, get dropped off outside.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And I'm like, I'm gonna run out of battery.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And actually Fort Lauderdale and Orlando round out the top 10, too. So we got three airports in Florida,

[Brian Bates]

but maybe hurricane stuff.

[Aaron Weber]

Hurricane stuff.

[Brian Bates]

A lot of rain in Florida. Heavy rain. Like, one time I flew to. I think Orlando and I had to get. We had to get rerouted. Because of a storm and land somewhere else, get gas, and then fly back to Orlando.

[Dusty Slay]

This is random. I was on one flight one time where we had to do an emergency landing.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh.

[Dusty Slay]

Because someone had a health issue, and it wasn't me. Thank you.

[Aaron Weber]

What was happening?

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It was a man.

[Aaron Weber]

Get over yourself.

[Dusty Slay]

This is the most man thing, though. Like, a woman would never.

[Aaron Weber]

He would never die of a heart attack at 35.

[Brian Bates]

No.

[Aaron Weber]

He. It was so mad of him.

[Dusty Slay]

He had died diabetes and forgot his medicine.

[Aaron Weber]

The nerve.

[Dusty Slay]

A woman would never.

[Brian Bates]

Where did they, like, how far was the flight?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we were flying to Nashville from San Francisco.

[Aaron Weber]

That's a long flight.

[Brian Bates]

And where do you have to cross

[Dusty Slay]

where you land at New Mexico.

[Brian Bates]

So not very long after.

[Dusty Slay]

No. I was furious.

[Aaron Weber]

You hadn't even got drinks out yet.

[Dusty Slay]

They wouldn't give me.

[Brian Bates]

That's when he realized. He goes, I want to get a drink. But I couldn't find my inside something.

[Aaron Weber]

That feeling must be like.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, boy.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my God. And they did the whole. Are there any doctors on board?

[Fiona Cawley]

Oh, wow.

[Dusty Slay]

There was a dentist.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And they got rejected. He goes, I'm a dentist. They go, no, no, no.

[Dusty Slay]

I went to the dentist today, and my dentist name. This is crazy. His name is Dr. Lawyer.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's a fake.

[Dusty Slay]

Are your parents. Parents, like, disappointed? They set you up, dude.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And he only got the dentist. Dr. Lawyer.

[Dusty Slay]

He wanted me to call him that. For real? Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Dr. Lawyer.

[Fiona Cawley]

No. What'd you want to call him? John. Yeah, about his name. So when y' all landed.

[Aaron Weber]

Officer, astronaut.

[Fiona Cawley]

When y' all made the emergency landing, did you get to stay on the plane?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

And how long before.

[Dusty Slay]

Took that guy out? He didn't get to come back out.

[Aaron Weber]

They just kind of threw him out.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I was like, get rid of him off, buddy. You're responsible.

[Brian Bates]

Well, that's the right move, though. What is he. You gotta wait for him at the drugstore. Like, I gotta run to Walgreens real quick.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean,

[Fiona Cawley]

I just envision he died, but it's Southwest, so he's got a good seat. So somebody immediately moves up and grabs it.

[Aaron Weber]

Immediately takes that seat.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, dude. I was on another Southwest flight with a comedian. I was traveling. Sean Flanagan.

[Aaron Weber]

John Flanagan. Used to live in Nashville.

[Dusty Slay]

He moved, though, to D.C. d.C. He. He's very, like, bougie, and he only flies Delta, and he does first class a lot. But it was on my time. So we're on Southwest. And it was his first Southwest flight. And a dog. Dog pooped, like, real bad. And he was running back into our.

[Aaron Weber]

Welcome to the real world, Sean. Welcome to the real world.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, this is America.

[Brian Bates]

Very anti dogs on planes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Unless they are like a seizure dog.

[Aaron Weber]

Now you. Yeah. Do you think a lot of people are abusing the dog thing as well?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. It sucks asking her perspective.

[Brian Bates]

I think 99.

[Dusty Slay]

I abuse it. My dog's not a nervous dog. There's. Don't ask questions because I'm in the.

[Brian Bates]

I like to think somebody from airlines is watching this and they're taking notes and they're going, oh, that's a great point she made. And then you get to this part and they go, what? She's abusing the system.

[Fiona Cawley]

You can do really whatever you want.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's true.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They're not allowed to ask what the service animal does.

[Aaron Weber]

Really.

[Brian Bates]

So if you can come up with a service animal vest, you can Amazon.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, you can just get them on Amazon.

[Dusty Slay]

I have one.

[Fiona Cawley]

Wow.

[Brian Bates]

So you can get anything on.

[Aaron Weber]

You can get it for any size dog.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I'm gonna get the vest.

[Dusty Slay]

That's the one I have for Lulu.

[Aaron Weber]

This one. It just says service dog.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You wanna.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I wonder.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, you must have got that from the government.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, my gosh.

[Brian Bates]

Can I get that for my kid?

[Dusty Slay]

Pick him up. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

This kid's my son. Service animal. And I don't need to buy a ticket for them.

[Aaron Weber]

Look, this one comes with a certification.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I have 20 bucks on it.

[Dusty Slay]

I have that.

[Aaron Weber]

That's all I have.

[Dusty Slay]

A card with the photo of my dog.

[Fiona Cawley]

Like.

[Aaron Weber]

And they're not allowed to ask what it does. What if they ask? What would you say?

[Dusty Slay]

Actually, you're not supposed to be like, are you serious?

[Brian Bates]

I have historical anxieties.

[Fiona Cawley]

I used to have a joke where, you know, they used to let any animal on, like turkeys, peacocks. Peacocks, anything. And then they finally cut it off, said, nope, it's got, you know, a dog.

[Aaron Weber]

Just the good ones. Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

And I'm like, they got it backwards. The people with the dogs, they're just faking it.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

But if you've got a service raccoon, that somebody's really got issues.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But probably shouldn't be flying, but I

[Fiona Cawley]

want them to have it if we're up there.

[Brian Bates]

I like an antenna anxiety turkey. That's what I like. Yeah. Just gobble, gobbling.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Like the least chill animal.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

It really calms me down. That's so great.

[Brian Bates]

We have a good turkey impression.

[Dusty Slay]

You've been working on that.

[Aaron Weber]

Trying to work it into my act

[Fiona Cawley]

right now, the best times to fly. Best days of the week are Tuesday and Wednesdays.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

Make kind of makes sense times a day. Midday specifically. Late morning or early afternoon.

[Aaron Weber]

Favorite time to fly during the day. You fly out super early.

[Dusty Slay]

Or do you like, if I'm. If my show is that day, I'll fly out real early because less delays. I've noticed. But my favorite, it's like 11.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, that's nice. It's not too crowded there.

[Fiona Cawley]

I don't like to get there so early that my hotel may not be ready.

[Dusty Slay]

Never is. Can we talk about that?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

The hotel times. Are you joking?

[Aaron Weber]

I know.

[Dusty Slay]

It is 4pm 4pm target and 8am

[Brian Bates]

Took out most of the Marriotts, by the way, are 3pm so it's a little better. But the 4pm I've. I've showed up at 3. And at some place it'd be like a 4pm checkout. I. I did that in Chicago one time. They wouldn't let me check in. And I. I go, okay, cool. And I just got in the lobby, I opened my bag, I changed my socks. I was like, all right, I'll just be right out here in the lobby then.

[Aaron Weber]

And your room opened up pretty quick.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I just. I traveled. I want to say the name of the club, but I traveled and I let the club book the hotel, which I never do because they always get it wrong. Like, Anita hate handicapped room.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I have one thing about me that's different.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

They never book that. It's always a normal one.

[Brian Bates]

I always get that one. I'm like, I don't want this.

[Dusty Slay]

And they were trying to tell you something.

[Fiona Cawley]

He's putting his socks on in the lobby.

[Dusty Slay]

They change it right there. So I come in. There's a ton of traffic, so we're like, late. And I'm in my pajamas. I'm sorry. But like, I said to do makeup, get dressed. Like, it takes me like an hour to get ready. And we get there to the hotel, it's like 5pm and I was like, hey, for funny college, the club book, dip, blah, blah. And they were like, we give your room away.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, wow.

[Dusty Slay]

To whom, right? I was like, show them.

[Aaron Weber]

It's that woman in the fur coat.

[Brian Bates]

I'm sorry, you said show them?

[Dusty Slay]

I would say, bring them out.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

No, tell them I just want to

[Aaron Weber]

say hi real quick.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm like, you give, like, to a disabled person. They're like, we can't disclose hipaa.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, it's hipaa.

[Brian Bates]

So they gave it away.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Cuz the club accidentally booked it for two nights and I wasn't there the night before so they gave it away. And my show was in 45. Five minutes.

[Fiona Cawley]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

I had to go to the club and get dressed and do my makeup there.

[Brian Bates]

So the club that is still doesn't add up. Like you book the hotel for two nights.

[Aaron Weber]

It doesn't sound like the club's fault at all. It sounds like the hotel and then

[Brian Bates]

the hotel gave it away.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well if you don't show up, they often do that.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm still gonna pay for it. Just have it ready booked.

[Dusty Slay]

They will give it away if you don't call.

[Fiona Cawley]

They'll.

[Aaron Weber]

But why would they. I don't understand the benefit of giving it away. They're still getting the same amount of

[Dusty Slay]

money from the room and no house cleaning.

[Fiona Cawley]

If they double if.

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, they still charge you for the night that you weren't there. That they gave it away to somebody else.

[Fiona Cawley]

I. Oh my God.

[Aaron Weber]

Pick it up later.

[Fiona Cawley]

I. I slept in the Atlanta airport one night because I was flying to Iowa.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

And it was Delta through Atlanta and there was a huge snowstorm so it took us forever to get out of Nashville. And by the time I got to my hotel in Atlanta it was after midnight and they said we've given your room away and the hotel's completely booked and every hotel around was booked and by now it's like 1:00am, 2:00am maybe. And I just went back to Atlanta airport because I had an early flight the next day and just slept on the floor to Atlanta airport for a couple hours and then flew out.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. So now I know if I'm going to be late call to make sure they don't give your room away.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's happened to me a of couple. Couple times. Yeah. And the ADA rooms and hotels are never ada.

[Brian Bates]

I think if you have the app, just for the record, you could just go ahead and check yourself in on the app.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, true.

[Aaron Weber]

You can.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. Busiest days for travel.

[Aaron Weber]

Let me get, Let me guess.

[Brian Bates]

I'm going to say Thanksgiving.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm going to say the day before Thanksgiving.

[Brian Bates]

I'm going to say the day of.

[Aaron Weber]

Day of. He travels day of on Thanksgiving.

[Brian Bates]

I don't know, I'm just saying a thing.

[Fiona Cawley]

The day before is number two.

[Brian Bates]

The day after the day, the day of.

[Aaron Weber]

Nobody's tra. Nobody's flying the day up.

[Fiona Cawley]

Dusty does to shows. That's Christmas Day.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Hold on, let me think about it. December 23rd, I'm going to go 25th or July 3rd?

[Brian Bates]

July 4th.

[Fiona Cawley]

It's not price is Right.

[Aaron Weber]

Traveling on the.

[Fiona Cawley]

Think it through, Aaron. January 1st, you were close earlier.

[Aaron Weber]

December 24th, Christmas Eve. December 24th.

[Fiona Cawley]

No, when he first started.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay. The day after Thanksgiving.

[Fiona Cawley]

I already said that wasn't it.

[Brian Bates]

I'm gonna say the day after Christmas.

[Fiona Cawley]

If you went to visit your family somewhere, flew somewhere on Thanksgiving, are you

[Brian Bates]

gonna head home on Friday on Thanksgiving?

[Aaron Weber]

On the Sunday after Thanksgiving?

[Fiona Cawley]

The Sunday after Thanksgiving.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Brian Bates]

That doesn't make sense.

[Fiona Cawley]

What do you mean?

[Aaron Weber]

You got to, you know the.

[Brian Bates]

You go visit your family for Thanksgiving and stay the whole weekend.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, most families fly there.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

What are. What are you just showing up for

[Fiona Cawley]

the meal and then leaving gets it to go?

[Dusty Slay]

Taking leftovers on the plane.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, turkey legs fly out that night.

[Aaron Weber]

That's so great. Yes. They. That makes perfect sense to me. The work week starts on Monday, so you go. We'll get in there Wednesday.

[Brian Bates]

Nobody in my family has that room for me in the house.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, you might not be staying at somebody's, you know, maybe get a hotel or something.

[Dusty Slay]

We only stay at Alads and I don't know why, cuz I can't use the bathroom or shower at any of their.

[Aaron Weber]

Do you do Airbnbs ever on the road?

[Dusty Slay]

No, they're not. The amount of accessible Airbnbs. One in a million.

[Aaron Weber]

Is there not like an option on there?

[Dusty Slay]

There is, but every time it's like. Like there are none.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

What about Ubers?

[Dusty Slay]

Ubers? Oh, Lord. Yeah. My life is hard. Uber's New York has a ton of accessible Ubers, but my chair folds up and I don't like being in the trunk in my.

[Brian Bates]

Didn't someone break your chair in an Uber?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I've had that happen a ton. And the fun new thing I've noticed, if I call an Uber and they see me waiting, they'll speed off.

[Brian Bates]

Wow.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

So I have to have my able body friends. I hide.

[Brian Bates]

You're like living in the 90s. No Ubers, no Airbnb.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I'm just wheeling my way down these street.

[Fiona Cawley]

That's crazy.

[Brian Bates]

So you posted a video not long ago of all these chairs and then these were all your chairs that you've gone through?

[Dusty Slay]

Yep.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

I travel a lot.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It was like five or six chairs. Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You put a lot of miles on.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they're all broken and I was like gonna try to just give them away online. I lined them up in front of my old house and in an hour they were all gone.

[Brian Bates]

Really?

[Fiona Cawley]

Dusty got one.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, Dusty always grab stuff off the side of the road.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, I do grab stuff, but, you know, one. One man's trash is another man's treasure.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey, if they can fix it, it's all you.

[Brian Bates]

Did. Your ch. Chair got broken when you were opening for Jordan Jensen here, and then Jordan did. Jordan. I. I was told that Jordan bought your. Bought you a new chair or something like that.

[Dusty Slay]

She. I had never met her. I was doing a. Like a guest spot on her show. It was so long ago, and she was late because her flight was delayed, actually. And I d. My spot but getting out of my car to come in, and the security guard accidentally somehow cut the electrical wire, so the whole chair was done. And I had a flight to Denver alone at like 6am so I'm sobbing. I'm like, what am I going to do? These are my legs, you know? And Jordan comes in, does her set, and then she was like, are you upset? What happened? And I just told her, and she took a photo. Photo of me, got my Venmo info, put it on her story and said, hey, the. Her chair broke. Please send money here. And within like, two hours, I have more than enough to buy a new chair.

[Brian Bates]

Wow, that's great. Jordan's awesome.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Jordan's all our friend, Jordan.

[Dusty Slay]

She's a real. She's a real person.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, Jordan's the best.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Love Jordan.

[Aaron Weber]

That's very cool. Yeah, we started kind of around the same time here now. Nashville. Yeah, she's a little bit ahead of me. Well, she.

[Fiona Cawley]

I'm just laughing because, yeah, she's doing great.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, she did. I meant she started ahead of me.

[Fiona Cawley]

Oh, I thought you meant she's also

[Aaron Weber]

doing better than me, but yeah. Yeah, I meant, like, she was around when I started.

[Fiona Cawley]

She was just in a movie, a

[Aaron Weber]

big one with Will Arnett.

[Brian Bates]

Well, this is not a podcast about Jordan, but Jordan land.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. Jensen News. Let's get into it.

[Fiona Cawley]

Have y' all ever had any turbulence? Like, really scared. Scared you? Like, oh, man, something's going on.

[Aaron Weber]

The one time I really felt it when I was in South America with my wife and her family, and we were flying into Argentina, and it was like, you remember thinking, like, man, this would never happen in America.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

You know what I mean? We had to fix this. It was that bad. And then you kind of look. I always look at the flight attendants and they always look so bored with whatever's happening. That always makes me feel better. But that time in Argentina, I looked at them. I could see it in Their eyes, they were like, it's not good. So that got me.

[Brian Bates]

I've had some pretty uncomfortable, but never any that, that, that made me question. I mean, one of my very first flights, I did spirit air to New York City with a buddy. And this was way back. I wasn't. I mean, I was doing comedy on the plane. Yeah. But I wasn't doing. It wasn't about turbulence. I got beat up. But no, it. It was really bad. I never found flu spirit again. It was really bad. Even a lady next to me said, I fly weekly to New York and I've never had it this bad.

[Aaron Weber]

Wow.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. So you think it's a spirit thing instead of just the weather?

[Aaron Weber]

She flew weekly on spirits in New York.

[Brian Bates]

She didn't get into what airline she takes, but.

[Fiona Cawley]

Well, what could they be doing that spirit that would cause more turbulence?

[Brian Bates]

I don't know. Maybe it's.

[Fiona Cawley]

Shocks weren't good.

[Brian Bates]

Maybe you're not a good a pilot. I don't know.

[Aaron Weber]

Wait for an oil change.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

I don't know.

[Brian Bates]

You apply, you go online, you go, what airline can I sign up for?

[Fiona Cawley]

I was on a flight with Angela Johnson once, and she was up in first class. And let's just say I was the opposite of up in first class. Two very different parts of the plane. We come in for a landing and I can't remember what happened. I think I heard that we came in a little too fast. So as soon as the plane hits the Runway, it takes back off and circles back around.

[Aaron Weber]

Diverted landing. Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And.

[Fiona Cawley]

And I was kind of freaking out, like, what just happened? And I think some other people are like, what is going on? Like, you know, are we gonna. Whatever. So we land and I'm like. And I get off with Angela. I'm like, man, that was crazy, huh? She's like, what? And I'm like, what just happened with it landing and she had her noise canceling headphones on, watching a movie. Didn't even know any of this happened.

[Brian Bates]

Oh, wow.

[Fiona Cawley]

I'm back there praying.

[Aaron Weber]

Different world. Up to first class.

[Brian Bates]

That's the place plane crashed.

[Aaron Weber]

The front of the plane's gonna die for sure.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah. But she's not gonna have anxiety beforehand.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, I'm saying there's a. It's still a small chance, but if the plane were to run into something, front of the plane's dead for sure. Right back of the plane, you got a little bit of a chance.

[Brian Bates]

It breaks off, spins around,

[Aaron Weber]

put me in the very back.

[Brian Bates]

But I've had that happen. And where it Lands and then goes back up. That's pretty. It's like irritating. I was like already like a little sick from stuff going on.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

And then it does that and I go. Just land the plane.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Matt are flying on southwest into Nashville and there was just really bad weather a couple months ago and we served there, but a whole bunch. I never felt turbulence like that. And like I'm not a religious person, but I prayed. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

You know, there's no atheists and foxholes out. Exactly.

[Aaron Weber]

They say.

[Brian Bates]

Right? Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

All right,

[Aaron Weber]

this is funny the way

[Brian Bates]

was the funniest you've ever done.

[Fiona Cawley]

Okay, well, let's talk about where we're going to be. This comes out.

[Brian Bates]

Can I say something though? First you have a sweet tea and it says Jason B. On it. And I don't think that sweet tea was four. Anyone here? I'm thinking Abigail picked up someone else's sweet.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm thinking she did as well. She grabbed Jason. Jason Bates.

[Fiona Cawley]

Maybe it's Jason Bateman.

[Aaron Weber]

Could be Jason Bateman. He's still waiting on his iced tea.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, okay. Sorry.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah, sorry. Jason, if you're listening to this podcast, I got your sweet tea.

[Dusty Slay]

Leave a comment.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

So this comes out, I believe, March 11th.

[Aaron Weber]

Okay.

[Fiona Cawley]

So just for your. So we promote our shows coming up. So if you. We can pull them up. If you don't remember right off hand, I do know. All right, well I'll start March 19th through 22nd. I'm with Johnny W. And Ed Wiley in Destin, Florida. Tallahassee, Florida. Pompano Beach, Florida. Gadsden, Alabama. Come see us four nights at one of those locations.

[Aaron Weber]

Fiona, this is the tonight what Foright. You're in the. You're funny. You're in Columbus, Ohio tonight.

[Dusty Slay]

You two gave me a heart today.

[Brian Bates]

Wait, what do you.

[Fiona Cawley]

You like literally tonight?

[Aaron Weber]

Oh, Fiona, you're supposed to be in Columbus right now. We're recording this a bit in advance. I understand that could be scary. Yeah. Cuz you. You just talking about you excited you were to be off for like a week or so.

[Dusty Slay]

What do you mean?

[Aaron Weber]

You got a sold out show in Ohio tonight that starts in one hour.

[Brian Bates]

This is great though. Columbus than Toledo. I like both of those clubs.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I haven't been great.

[Brian Bates]

Columbus. Columbus is a newer big club and I. I love it. Toledo is not a newer club, but I still like it a lot there.

[Aaron Weber]

It's. It's that arcade outside and everything. Yeah, I've had some fun shows.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

And I love that you now go head to head with Dusty on the. On your monthly show. Because, you know, Dusty show was kind of running its course. So now it's funded.

[Aaron Weber]

That's right. So once Fiona. Fiona show sells out, you can, you know, you go check out Dustin. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bates]

It is the same night as my show.

[Fiona Cawley]

I think it was last month too.

[Aaron Weber]

So if you're In Columbus, Ohio, St. Patrick's Day.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, same.

[Dusty Slay]

St. Patrick's oh, yeah, you guys are

[Fiona Cawley]

both dressed for it.

[Dusty Slay]

That's my. Yeah, I bought a whole Alpha for it. Yeah, I'm gonna. If you're in Columbus, Ohio, I'm there tonight. That's March 11, March 12, them in Toledo, Ohio and then back in Nashville vers St. Patrick's Day, March 17.

[Brian Bates]

Just for the record, I also have a show on March 17 if you've been listening.

[Aaron Weber]

So, you know, we're going to come to you in a minute.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

And then.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I just. I want to get that out.

[Aaron Weber]

Well, once the date's been set, I might as well throw it out there.

[Dusty Slay]

You have to decide or Dusty Fiona

[Aaron Weber]

collie.com to see her whole tour schedule. Fiona's all over the place to go see her.

[Fiona Cawley]

Don't go to Ian Collie.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah, don't go to Ian Cowley, whatever his name is. Aaron Weber here. Big month or two coming up for me right now. I'm going to be in Lexington, Kentucky this weekend at Comedy Off Broadway. It's going to be a lot of fun. And then at the end of the month, I'm heading up to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Nothing's been going on up there. And then I'm going to be at Sisyphus Brewing Company in Minneapolis at the end of the month. And in April, I'm headlining a show here at Zany's during the festival April 17th and 18th. And then. Can I plug one more thing, Dusty before because I know you got. I want to mention it again because Fiona, my wife and I are fundraiser show that we did last year, Prader Silly, A benefit for those living with Prader Willi syndrome, which our daughter has. Fiona performed on the show show last year. It was a. It was a lot of fun. We're doing that show again in September. If you go to prader silly.com you can donate there or buy tickets or just learn more about the event. That'd be great. Thanks.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah,

[Aaron Weber]

thanks for jumping in.

[Brian Bates]

They gotta give it a moment. You can't follow that.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, Potter Willie's 1 and 20,000. What is Friedrich's Taxia?

[Brian Bates]

She always says 5,000 people, but what

[Fiona Cawley]

does that equate to 5,000 people? There's 330,000 people in the U.S. that's a small percentage.

[Aaron Weber]

Way more rare than PR.

[Dusty Slay]

No offense.

[Fiona Cawley]

I know.

[Dusty Slay]

Lindsay was like, I was kind of frustrated to find out yours is more rare.

[Fiona Cawley]

Ahead, Dusty.

[Brian Bates]

Okay, well, go ahead, Mr.

[Fiona Cawley]

Able Body.

[Brian Bates]

Well, I'm going to be the 12th, 13th and 14th. I'm doing some Air Force bases in Colorado. I'll be at. On my calendar.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hold on.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, that's awesome, but it just. I didn't know you're about to say that.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah, well, I do.

[Aaron Weber]

You know, people don't regularly do shows at Air Force Base.

[Fiona Cawley]

Sometimes y' all go to Olive Garden. Sometimes Dusty.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Goes Air Force Base.

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. But I got. I'm doing three Colorado. My calendar right now says two in Colorado. Colorado Springs, Thursday and Friday. I don't know if it's on my public calendar. And then public figures.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. New website, too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Great.

[Brian Bates]

So these aren't on the website, but. And then on the 14th, Aurora, Colorado. But it's three military bases. I'll make a better detailed video about it.

[Fiona Cawley]

Is that just for the Air Force Academy or is it for the public?

[Brian Bates]

I think if you're a veteran of any kind, you can come to the show, but not the general. General public.

[Fiona Cawley]

Is that why you're dressed like a veteran?

[Brian Bates]

Yeah. The last time I wore this, Aaron made this joke. I haven't worn it like two years.

[Aaron Weber]

No, I never said that.

[Brian Bates]

He said I look like a Vietnam vet.

[Aaron Weber]

Last time

[Fiona Cawley]

still in Saigon.

[Brian Bates]

I never felt comfortable wearing it.

[Aaron Weber]

I'm sorry.

[Brian Bates]

That's okay.

[Aaron Weber]

I wasn't even thinking about it.

[Brian Bates]

Just an L.L. bean.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. It's a nice shirt.

[Dusty Slay]

People think my vet, too, because of the chair. I understand dust ti.

[Brian Bates]

But then on March 17, have a show. I don't know. I don't think there's any other things going on that night at Zany's, but March 17, it's a big night. Yeah. And then. Yeah. Clearwater, Florida. Orlando, Florida. Coming up after that about it.

[Aaron Weber]

Fiona, you're the best. Thanks so much for coming.

[Fiona Cawley]

Thanks for being our first.

[Aaron Weber]

This was a lot of fun.

[Brian Bates]

You're the first guest. All right.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you for having me.

[Aaron Weber]

I mean, we haven't talked about it, but I'll just speak for. You're welcome back anytime you want to come.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah, well, let's, let's, let's do. Talk about it.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah. I'll be back, figure out the details. We'll just block the door or something.

[Dusty Slay]

You removed the ramp. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Weber]

Janie's put up a ramp for you. Isn't that awesome? It's pretty cool.

[Brian Bates]

Pretty. No, it was a good ramp. Now it was of the original ramp. Was pretty sketchy.

[Dusty Slay]

Remember when I tilt tilted back midair.

[Aaron Weber]

They got got a good one now though, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, next door.

[Fiona Cawley]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

No, but.

[Brian Bates]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, it's not their fault. It's like the orientation of this stage.

[Brian Bates]

The stage to the green room. Like.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. It's physics and they're doing their best.

[Aaron Weber]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cawley]

Oh, and March 29th, Brian Bates and friends. That's right here at the lab.

[Aaron Weber]

Brian recording a special Come on. A lot going on in the Nat Land universe, the Public Figures universe. Thank you so much for tuning in. This has been another wonderful edition of the Public Figures Figures podcast, a Nateland Entertainment production. We miss you all. We love you, God bless and we wish you all a pleasant evening.

[Dusty Slay]

Heck yeah.

[Brian Bates]

I just like that you said we miss you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Dusty Slay]

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[Brian Bates]

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[Aaron Weber]

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[Brian Bates]

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