A Terrible Dream with Alex Song-Xia

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Neighborhood Listen Episode: A Terrible Dream with Alex Song-Xia Date: May 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Neighborhood Listen dives into quirky happenings and personal tales from the fictional town of Dignity Falls. Hosts Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) explore community posts from the "neighborhap" app, touch on neighborhood oddities, and welcome a distinctive resident, Deborah (Alex Song-Xia), who is plagued by anxious dreams and an unusual job. The discussion balances sharp improv, genuine empathy for anxiety, and absurd Dignity Falls humor.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter and Ongoing Bits (00:47–13:14)

• Burnt and Joan continue their friendly sparring, including a running gag about how to greet listeners and the intricacies of starting the podcast.
  • Quote (02:11):
    • Joan: “Why. Why does that make you happy? See me unhappy?”
    • Burnt: “It was a way to show you how you are treating people who are perhaps differently abled...”
• Discussion of Burnt’s newly revealed twin brother, Turn Millipede, living in New Barn—a town with a "Dracula" accent. This thread pokes fun at family secrets and the nature of male friendships (“with guy friends, you just don’t ask questions, you just know you have a good time together” – 15:21).
• Running bits on the “premium pharmacy,” Fig Newtons, Doug’s coat check obsession, and local fundraisers (with surreal twists, like a merch-crushing fun run for "Figment" and the town’s three-coat tradition).
  • Quote (06:16):
    • Joan: “Freshly out of the package. They are like cardboard. It’s not a cookie.”
    • Burnt: “It’s not a cookie. It’s a Newton.”
• Joan tells a story about her daughter moving back home; classic “mom can’t keep up with Taylor Swift Easter eggs” comedy.

2. Neighborhood App Post: Introducing Deborah & Her “Terrible Dream” (35:35–44:05)

• Deborah’s post (alerted by listener Kristen Rudy) is dramatic: did something happen to Dignity Falls Hospital? Deborah had a terrible dream but isn’t sure if it was real.
• Deborah arrives for the interview dressed only in her slip (her “outdoor dress,” with wheels for outdoor wear), leading to comedy about Doug’s coat check and the rules (and liability waivers) of playing with checked clothes.
• Initial discomfort: Deborah assumes she’s “here to be confronted,” revealing deep-seated anxiety about being disliked.

3. Exploring Deborah’s Dream and Anxiety (39:45–55:23)

• Deborah’s “terrible dream” was simply that the hospital ran out of printer paper for visitor badges, prompting her to post on the neighborhood app in a panic.
• She details her fear that even posting a dream will anger the community—she becomes anxious that her worries might cause real-world panic, or even manifest the problem she dreams about.
  • Quote (40:50):
    • Deborah: “If it hadn’t happened, then everybody would be mad that I caused a panic. If it had happened, maybe I caused it with my dream.”
• Her anxiety has roots in childhood: she describes a memory where her family left for church without her. “For a few minutes I thought they’d left me forever.”
• Ongoing childhood pattern: always blaming herself for things, feeling responsible for “bad things,” and believing everyone is mad at her—despite no concrete evidence.

4. Deborah’s Mysterious Job & Moral Quandaries (42:20–47:00 & 55:02–82:09)

• Deborah works remote customer service for a company she describes as “not doing anything bad.” When pressed, she admits uncertainty: “I’m thinking about quitting, because I’m not positive it’s nothing bad.”
• Vague but suspicious details: the product is “the opposite of medicine… not poison, but kind-of-faster… than poison.” After much playful deduction, it’s revealed she works for a company making “poison ropes”—intended for those who aren’t strong enough for “regular” rope uses.
  • Quote (77:00):
    • Deborah: “I work customer service for poison ropes.”
  • She’s received criticism from friends and has lost relationships over her job, but feels her friends’ anger is unjustified.
• The job is low-paying ($400/week), but she enjoys her coworkers, who joke on Slack about other “poison” item ideas. Deborah herself is “burnt out” but mostly from lack of alignment, as per Instagram Reels wisdom.
  • “If you’re not aligned, you’re going to burn out.” (Paul paraphrasing Instagram, 66:25)

5. Polite Interrogation and Empathy Talk (open thread within guest interview, 47:00–62:50)

• The hosts press gently to discover why Deborah is so convinced she’s always at fault or about to be in trouble, yet avoid direct confrontation.
• The group gets lost in empathy vs. sympathy definitions, briefly derailed by Doug (“EMP grenade disables electronics,” 50:13).
• Deborah oddly empathizes with Freddy Krueger—she worries she’s a villain in others’ stories and feels “what if I understand him too much?”
  • “What if I’m the cancer?” (48:24, referencing Marvin’s Room and seeing herself as the ‘villain’ even in non-villain narratives)
• Despite what seems like negative job content, she shines when discussing hopes of becoming a stage manager in community theater and impresses with practical readiness (binders, colored tape, clipboards).
  • “I have a little ring of colored tape.” – (67:20)

6. Final Hospital Update: The Dream Comes True (82:26–84:10)

• Doug checks the hospital live cam: there was indeed a “cyber attack”—no printer paper, confirming Deborah’s dream premonition.
  • “Dream came true.” – Paul (83:12)
  • Deborah is uncertain how to process this (“I don’t know what these feelings are.”)
• Very Dignity Falls send-off: the group encourages Deborah to leave her job for the theater, offering her a “20 minute head start before we call the police” as a tongue-in-cheek nod to her criminal-adjacent workplace.

7. Neighborhood App Roundup & Oddball Posts (94:06–101:47)

• The hosts read and riff on several real neighborhood app posts, including Matthew, a 55-year-old single man plaintively seeking company with atypical syntax, and a thread that derails into speculation about aliens and vampires.
  • Quote (95:26):
    • Joan: “Hello, ladies. My name is Matthew, I’m 55, I’ve been single for over 10 years, and I can’t take it no more.”
  • Additional comedy from paranoid neighbors, advice about relationships with Jesus, and grammatical chaos.

8. Classic TNL Tangents: Theater, Trivia, and "Shape of Water" (88:16–93:13)

• Doug confuses “shape of water monster” with Julio Torres, leading Paul and Joan into an extended, affectionate mock-argument about film trivia, Doug Jones, Guillermo del Toro, and more.
• Recurring bits about theater jargon (table work, glow tape, stage managers), as Joan pitches community theater as a safe haven.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• “We used to be a three coat town. We were proud of it.” (09:43, nostalgic Dignity Falls humor)
• “If you had a grilled cheese sandwich…and it’s not cut diagonally, out of my vision, I can eat it.” (11:26, Burnt’s bizarre food stipulations)
• “What if I'm the cancer now?” (48:20, Deborah on relating too hard to antagonists)
• “I work customer service for poison ropes.” (77:00, stunning and absurd job reveal)
• “The times that someone has told me they are mad at me, I think they're really wrong.” (64:26, Deborah on interpersonal conflict)
• “You could have a severe pay cut working in theater.” – “You basically will.” (82:12, reality of community arts)

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Episode Tone, Flow & Takeaways

• Improv-Heavy, Warmly Absurd: The episode maintains The Neighborhood Listen’s signature of absurd, fast-talking improv, blending surreal town quirks with deeply relatable anxieties.
• Empathetic & Patient: Much of the episode is devoted to gently unraveling Deborah’s anxiety and history, with sincere attempts at understanding her odd logic and fears.
• Surreal Escalation: The world of Dignity Falls escalates delightfully—from imaginary coat check laws to poison rope customer service and Doug’s confusion of “shape of water monster” with actor Julio Torres.
• Meaning & Connection: At the episode’s heart is a longing for connection, community, and understanding—even (especially) if you’re an anxious “bad person” working in customer support for nefarious products.

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Key Segments (Timestamps)

• Opening banter, Fig Newtons, coats, and family: 00:47–13:14
• Deborah’s dream and introduction: 35:41–39:45
• Delving into anxiety, job mystery, empathy discussion, and Freddy Krueger: 39:45–53:11
• Company reveal – poison ropes, more about work, and theater dreams: 74:46–82:09
• Hospital “dream comes true” and emotional fallout: 82:26–84:10
• Neighborhood post roundup (Matthew seeking love): 94:06–101:47
• Closing theater bits and Doug’s trivia confusion: 88:16–93:13

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Overall Takeaway

A Terrible Dream with Alex Song-Xia is a classic Neighborhood Listen—uproarious, layered, and unexpectedly touching. It explores the little anxieties and bigger absurdities of community life, the clash of logic and feeling, and the universal wish to belong—even if you’re bad at believing you deserve to.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some

[Paul F. Tompkins]

streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.

[Doug]

Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. In Dignity Fall, never alone. You've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in to the Neighborhood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listen. Welcome back to the Neighborhood. Listen. This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its many residents, two of whom are. Are seated right across from each other right this very second. One of them is me. My name is Burt Miapede. I'm the pharmacist in chief here in Dignity Falls. At the Dignity Falls, Missy. Dignity Falls is, and maybe America's premier pharmacy. That's how strongly I feel about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Okay. Yeah, you've been really saying that a couple times now, that it is just the. The ultimate pharmacy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry, who are you?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, hi. I'm Joan Pedestrian. I mean, he knew that was a bit, right? Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Also, Bert, I'm not gonna. I'm just. I can' Ignore it the way that you're starting these podcasts right now, and I feel like you're trolling me. You said welcome, and it can't be argued. We could listen to the playback. I don't think Doug can do that. You can't tell me you didn't say welcome.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm going to push back on that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because I said welcome.

[Nicole Parker]

So you are aware that you're doing something?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was doing a prank.

[Nicole Parker]

You were?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I have enough pranks with my boys at home. Welcome. So you said welcome?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Thank you. Why? What are you trying. So what's the option? What's the. What's the objective of. Of this prank? Because you're.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're making me feel crazy now. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Why. Why does that make you happy? See me unhappy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm. It's just. I didn't realize you were so unhappy.

[Nicole Parker]

I am unhappy. Because if I. I didn't want to be rude, you know, but then it was like because you got upset when I would say things like hey, you just said welcome or welcome or galcomer. And then you get hurt. You'd act hurt. And then I think, well, now I'm the bad guy. When really you're doing something on purpose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And here's why. It's to teach you a lesson. Oh no.

[Nicole Parker]

Give me a break. Splain to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if I.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that a thing now? It is. You made it a thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was a way to show you how you are treating people who are perhaps differently abled than you're making of

[Nicole Parker]

this explanation as you're going along. It really feels like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it was just. Clearly I have thought about this for a long time.

[Nicole Parker]

Real. A long time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long now? Not like since we've met, but.

[Nicole Parker]

But you've got to be kidding me, Burns.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Since season one.

[Nicole Parker]

Since season one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I'm not making this up right on the spot. The reason I'm doing it is because I didn't think that you were a person who would judge people in this way. But I thought, what if she is?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, Bernd, the fact that this is your choice, especially your choice. My choice to this point to me, when last episode you revealed to everyone's surprise that you have a twin brother named Turn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're going to talk about this.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, we are going to talk about this. Because you also let it at the very end. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I googled turned me a payday. All that comes up is a skin condition.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you know, he. He pronounces it millipede.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He doesn't do the traditional.

[Nicole Parker]

I was looking for the me payday. And by the way, it's a ter. Oh God. Do not Google turned me a payday. You really don't want to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What happens? Skin condition, you said?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. A face burns into your skin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A face. Oh, somebody else's face burns in your skin. That's terrifying.

[Nicole Parker]

It's painful. First of all, I've never heard of this condition. I know. Well, I never heard of your twin brother. So. Go Fig.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Go Fig. We wish Fig all the best.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, we've got a campaign going on right now in town for the. For this gentleman named Fig. His. His real. His full name is Figment. And he is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

His best friend is a sea monster.

[Nicole Parker]

And so it's weird. He's. He's doing a fun run for his imagination.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He wants to make the sea monster real.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. And he thinks that. I don't know if he raises enough money that we can do that. I'm not sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Figment, we support you, but we're not going to help.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, go Fig is as far as I'll go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Well, everybody say figure out. No one is contributing.

[Nicole Parker]

Nope.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's the only one in the fun run.

[Nicole Parker]

What's weird is they spend a lot of money buying the merch because everyone's wearing it. If they could just give the money directly to him. But someone created their own merch for it. It's not going to him at all. The profits are not going to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He is in the red with merch and so it's all going to just pay off. Making the merch.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's not making a profit.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. What I was saying is there's some people who've made their own merch and they're just making their own money off of this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Guilty. I've made so much.

[Nicole Parker]

You made your own merch? What have you made?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I made a T shirt that has a Fig Newton and sort of.

[Nicole Parker]

That has a Fig Newton brand. A picture of a fig Newton.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Picture of a fig Newton. No, there's an actual Fig Newton.

[Nicole Parker]

An actual Fig Newton. So this shirt has an actual Fig Newton on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's a little cellophane pocket where we're, you know, on a pocket tee.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you go Newman's own Newton or did you just do regular Fig Newton?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want classic Fig.

[Nicole Parker]

You went classic Fig Newton?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Have you tried one of those lately?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A Fig Newton?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I haven't.

[Nicole Parker]

They taste like they've been left out for days.

[Doug]

So good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No matter what, no matter.

[Nicole Parker]

Freshly out of the package. They are like cardboard. It's not a cookie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not a cookie.

[Nicole Parker]

It isn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not a cookie.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a Newton.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is a Newton. Specifically, a Fig Newton.

[Nicole Parker]

A Fig Newton. So.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So, you know, I love Newtons across the board. I mean, of course my favorite is fig for sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Second is Isaac.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't eat Isaac Newton's anymore now. You know, the sad thing is, is of course Fig Newtons are square.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that. Is it? First of all, Is that sad? Oh, yes. I thought they were rectangular burnt. It doesn't matter because it's just still a version of a square. Okay. You don't have to look so disappointed in me. Okay. I'm now realizing my mistake. Bernd can't eat square foods. And I thought that maybe it would make a difference that it was a longer square, which we call a rectangle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Usually it's not a rectangle. You don't you. I mean, they're closer to a square.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you're angry about the fact that you think Figs Newtons are a perfect square. I'm gonna push back on that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's. I'm not saying they're. Joan. I'm not saying they're a perfect square. I never said that. I defy you to comb through the back catalog of this show and hear anytime I said, Fig Newtons are a perfect square.

[Nicole Parker]

So what you're pushing back to my pushing back is that. Is that a rectangle is basically a square to you because it has right angles.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, all rectangles are squares, but not all squares are rectangles.

[Nicole Parker]

Right? Oh, boy. This mind vortex. I hate that. I hate that statement. It makes my head hurt.

[Doug]

It's not true.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, babe. This is. First of all, I'm Jo Pedestrian, and I'm the top realtor here in Dignity Falls, and I'm the top local actress. And here. Or not here, rather in a different room, recording, always in a different room, is my husband, Doug. Hey, babe.

[Deborah]

So.

[Nicole Parker]

So you. You're. Now he's got his own pushback. What's Doug's pushback?

[Doug]

I hate to push back on this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did I have it reversed?

[Doug]

All squares are rectangles. Not all rectangles are squares.

[Nicole Parker]

That makes more sense to me. That makes more sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are rectangles not. All right, Sorry. I had it reversed.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait.

[Doug]

And all of the above are parallelograms.

[Nicole Parker]

All of the above.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Hey, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does anyone need to know that it's a bit.

[Doug]

It's a bit of a rectangle. A fig Newton, but it has small, rounded. Beautiful rounded corners.

[Nicole Parker]

Beautiful. Gorgeous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm saying if you saw something like a hanger. If you saw a thing laying nude and unprotected on a table.

[Nicole Parker]

A nude Newton.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Newton.

[Nicole Parker]

Nude Newton. A fig Newton.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. I think your mind would go to square before it would go to rectangle. What are you laughing at, Doug? I heard you snorted me.

[Nicole Parker]

I suppose so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where are you, anyway?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, where are you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where are you?

[Doug]

Coat check coach.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it busy there today?

[Nicole Parker]

How did you never think of that before? Yeah. How many people we got coming in today?

[Doug]

Not a lot of people wear coats, but now I'm hoping people do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you mean across the board? Not a lot of people wear coats. Seems like people that are coming into

[Nicole Parker]

the house aren't wearing a lot of coats.

[Doug]

People coming in the house? I guess. Or I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

Because I'd love for you to know exactly if we're talking about people coming into the house or people in general?

[Doug]

I can't.

[Nicole Parker]

You can'?

[Doug]

People in, you know, across the world.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so then just say that. So then what you're talking about is the people who come into the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do. People who come into the house are not wearing. Are you. Are you saying this is a sort of trend? That people are wearing fewer coats than they usually.

[Nicole Parker]

I hadn't noticed that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It might be that we less often. I suppose not. Fewer coats usually just wear one.

[Nicole Parker]

Normally I wear the three, but now I'm down to one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We used to be a three coat town.

[Nicole Parker]

We were a three coat town. We were proud of it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We were proud of it. We would sneer. People only had one or two coats.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It was a sign of wealth and well being.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. Wealth and well being.

[Doug]

That hits your eyes as healthy.

[Nicole Parker]

It became a problem when.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, Doug, I. I could tell that that was a little dig at me.

[Nicole Parker]

I missed it.

[Doug]

It really wasn't.

[Nicole Parker]

What was the dig?

[Doug]

You two are feisty today.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I said that a fig Newton hits your eye as a square more than it does as a rectangle. If you were to see a nude. A fig nude tin.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On the table.

[Nicole Parker]

How would you even know.

[Doug]

I would eat it. I would eat it before I.

[Nicole Parker]

It would just be. It would just be a dollop of, like, fig jam. How would you even be able to recognize.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, we have different ideas. I would squish it with a fig nude.

[Nicole Parker]

To the towel. Oh, what is a fig Newt. Yes, I would.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would feel like a threat. I would squish it with a towel.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't. I don't harbor any bugs in my house. I will not tolerate it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You will not be a bug landlord.

[Doug]

Do you think a nude fig Newton would have a fig leaf over its genitalia?

[Nicole Parker]

First of all, I have no idea why you're gendering this. This Newton already, because we haven't even gotten. You said his.

[Doug]

It's.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, fine. You got me there. Please tell me what you think. A nude tin is just a Fig

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Newton ball by itself just sitting on a table.

[Nicole Parker]

Doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense. You said nude. I've never been alone in a cafe. I'm nude today at the cafe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That doesn't apply to people.

[Nicole Parker]

Just inanimate cookies. Okay, great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you. Here's the thing. If you had a grilled cheese sandwich and you. Which I wish I could.

[Nicole Parker]

I know, I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If it's. If. If it's not. If it's cut diagonally out of My vision.

[Nicole Parker]

Out of your vision?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I can eat it.

[Nicole Parker]

What? I never knew that. I never knew this stipulation only one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It applies to what is grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, here's what I was gonna bring up. Someone just you can tell. Please explain how you.

[Doug]

If you know it was score.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cause I'm sorry, the body keeps the score.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh my God. And if you serve me, don't name a trauma book written by a Dutch man. That has nothing to do with trauma.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't you name a trauma book written by a Dutch man.

[Nicole Parker]

What I was gonna tell you is that someone just found online a parent hack, which is to take the circular top of a peanut butter jar and it exactly perfectly cuts the crust off of your sandwich and it makes a square sandwich circular. Basically makes an uncrustable. You know what those are, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How big is this peanut butter jar?

[Nicole Parker]

Any basic peanut butter. Peanut butter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, sometimes you're making a little sandwich

[Nicole Parker]

like a general medium sized one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think small.

[Nicole Parker]

I can listen the video now look who's doing it. That was by accident.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll never believe that joke.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, gosh. Listen, I got Springsteen. But it got your attention, didn't it? It did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Springsteen. It did get my attention.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what you go to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Springsteen.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh my gosh. It's Sprungstein.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Born to run. Ja.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, what is happening today? I'm just telling you this might be an amazing discovery for you, Berndt. Not as big as the fact that you have a twin brother, which we're not. I'm not going to ignore it. But you just, you put, you cut the. It's a perfect circ. That just barely takes off the crust and it makes a circle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Circle. I. I push back on. It just barely takes off the crust.

[Nicole Parker]

I feel like so much pushback today.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Something's in the air.

[Nicole Parker]

I know, but. Okay, so we're getting back to the brother. So you have a brother named Turnt?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And he lives where again?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He lives in New Barn.

[Nicole Parker]

He lives in new Barn yet right next door to us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

The neighboring town over.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Where they speak. Sort of like they're Dracula. Sort of like they're from their accent?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, a combination.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you want the phone? Does he have the accent?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have not spoken to him yet.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We've just been texting.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We've exchanged phone numbers. We've been texting.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're planning on meeting up.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you are?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That's also big news. When are you going to meet up?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have not set the date yet? We're trying to. We're comparing calendars and trying to figure it out.

[Nicole Parker]

Comparing calendars. And how did you discover you were twins?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why did that bear repeating?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, because I feel like I want to know more about it is why. Like, what has he got going on? What does he do for a living?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know he's a farmer.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And he has a podcast.

[Nicole Parker]

I know he has a podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Called Not Only Farmers Only.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every serves.

[Nicole Parker]

I think it was Not Only Farmers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not only Farmers. That sounds better.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, look, you only talk to him once, so you're gonna have to go back and ask more questions for me because I have a thousand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will, I will.

[Nicole Parker]

Are we gonna have them on the podcast eventually?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess that's up to you guys.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, what do you think? Babe?

[Doug]

I don't really care that much.

[Nicole Parker]

Babe. You don't care that for this many years that we have known burnt and he has talked about being an only child for so long?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, because I thought for.

[Nicole Parker]

And also really came hard at me last week because I'm not an only child, saying I couldn't speak to it at all because I did not know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I stand by that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. How do you stand by that? Because you kept us in secret from us. And that's. You know, and I'm. I'm glad that you shared it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not for that long. I lived as an only child for.

[Nicole Parker]

I understand that. That's fair. It's fair that you're. It's fair. But I still.

[Doug]

But I don't think you should have come.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think you should have come at me so hard because you knew you were car. You were. You were harboring a secret. Now why don't you care so much about it, Babe?

[Doug]

I don't know. It didn't seem to matter that much to burn.

[Nicole Parker]

So is that true?

[Doug]

You know, with guys like in Friends, like even your best friend, you just don't even really ask them.

[Nicole Parker]

Guys like in Friends the show or you mean just general? General Guy friends.

[Doug]

General.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But that would include the guys on the friends from show.

[Nicole Parker]

Fair enough.

[Doug]

Yeah. Would. They were great friends.

[Nicole Parker]

So what about guy friends? They sure were. I believed it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Constantly asking each other questions.

[Doug]

You oftentimes just don't know anything about the other one. Boy, you know that you have a good time together.

[Nicole Parker]

I am realizing that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? That's pretty true, Doug.

[Nicole Parker]

I will watch the twins.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All we need to know about each other. We have a good time.

[Nicole Parker]

I have watched the twins sit with Their friends, and they don't even say anything, and then they just stare at each other, and all of a sudden they start laughing like someone said something hilarious, and it's very disturbing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Whereas Jalapeno, my daughter brings girls home and they never stop talking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How is Jaliope? Where is she right now?

[Nicole Parker]

She's not in Australia anymore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

She's not making earrings from stolen pill capsules.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great, Great. Two good things right in a row.

[Nicole Parker]

And she's moved back home, which I'm. I don't know. I'm, like, happy. Slash, unh.

[Deborah]

About it.

[Nicole Parker]

How long I have all the children under my roof.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I haven't seen.

[Nicole Parker]

What did you make that face for?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, because I haven't seen her here. When did she move back home?

[Nicole Parker]

This is new. She moved back home this morning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This morning?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Sure is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was this a surprise? Did you know this was coming?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, she kept on. It was weird. On her Instagram, she kept typing, something is coming. And I was like, oh, I thought she was going to now she got a job. And she was like, no, those were for you, Mom. You were supposed to put together this clue. She's a huge swifty. Right? So she was trying to do, like, all sorts of. I don't understand all the Taylor Swift. Like, I guess she showed up in a. In a. In a color dress that was the same color theme as her new album, and everyone was freaking out. I don't understand that stuff. Again, that's something. That's not for me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you freaking out about that?

[Nicole Parker]

They were freaking out about it.

[Doug]

Freaking out.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, they were. Even Doug confirms it. She was trying to do. She was trying to do something like that, but I was like, oh, honey, I don't. You know, I. I'm not looking for clues anywhere. And so, yeah, she showed up on the doorstep, and she was like, surprise. And she was shocked that I hadn't figured it out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was this morning.

[Nicole Parker]

They hadn't pieced it together. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So right now I'm scrambling because I. My. I turned her room into my Playbill collection room. And it is. You cannot even get in. It is just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Because they're not on display. They're just stacked up.

[Nicole Parker]

They're stacked up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And it kind of looks like the town in Wally, you know, just piles and piles of paper. Dusty paper. Do you not remember that movie?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't remember that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it was a wonderful movie. Give me the three things that you think you remember from Wall E. I

[Paul F. Tompkins]

remember a lot from Wally.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you do? But you don't remember that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't remember the paper stuff.

[Nicole Parker]

How there's just nothing but trash.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, we've talked about Wally before. Because we have. I'm trying to remember the musical that he watches over and over again.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, of course. Hello, Dolly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's hello, Dolly. For some reason, I thought it was Singing in the Rain. Maybe because I wished he was watching that instead.

[Nicole Parker]

Why?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just like it more than hello, Dolly.

[Nicole Parker]

How. How many times have you seen hello Dolly?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Once.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. It's not enough. You'd appreciate it more now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I also don't know if I've seen it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what I really think.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I must have seen it while a kid.

[Nicole Parker]

I feel like I could tell that even as you said once he was

[Paul F. Tompkins]

watching it was hello Dolly with. With Barbra Streisand.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. I say Barbra Streisand, and I think so does she. But.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that's the Streisand effect. There it is, right there.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, was that Sean Connery? No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's not good to do.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, let's not do that. Spring season was funnier.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You will experience a darkness on the edge of town.

[Nicole Parker]

You're right. It's fun. So she has no place to stay right now, but. So she's in a hotel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's moving back home, but right now she's at a hotel.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I said I can't deal with it, babe. I just really, I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because that one room was unavailable?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Yes. Because we have three rooms under construction. Doug's working on the coat room, the boys are in two separate rooms, and we're housing two of their other friends right now.

[Deborah]

Who?

[Nicole Parker]

Bub and Conk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bub and Conk.

[Nicole Parker]

Bub and Conk. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Okay. Wait.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They didn't used to be in the grocery boys, did they?

[Nicole Parker]

Allegedly. Okay, you can't prove it. I'm trying to do a Scared Straight situation with them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow. Okay. How's that going? What are your methods?

[Nicole Parker]

I kind of like it because it's just. I'm playing a role. Do you know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[Nicole Parker]

I get in a uniform, I kick their door down in the morning, I scream in their face one by one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are they all in separate rooms?

[Deborah]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Certainly the third guy would say, oh,

[Nicole Parker]

no, it's just Bub and Conk. But they're in. They have a Jack and Jill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you're only trying to scare them.

[Nicole Parker]

They only. Oh, yeah, I've already tried it with my boys. They don't care. They don't care. Well, I'm hoping that they'll learn by example. Do you know what I mean? I'm hoping that they'll watch them transform and make something of themselves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm talking. I'm talking. When I talk about my boys, I'm talking about my twin boys, Matt and Robert the Impaler. Robert the Impaler, Yeah. So there's just. Right now, I was just said to Jelly, be. I can't. I just can't. Do you know what I mean? How you're just like, I can't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't.

[Nicole Parker]

I just can't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just can't.

[Nicole Parker]

And I said, you're gonna. You're gonna be happier anyways. It's so loud here right now. And. And now you'll be in a hotel room and you can, you know, just get some rest and we'll talk about what we're gonna do with her. I don't know, on the weekend or something. I'll figure something out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, this explains something, because I. I'm in Jalape's close friends on Instagram.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? You are?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

What does that mean, close friends? How do you determine if you're a close friend on Instagram?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Somebody puts you in their. Their close friends category and you get the green, you know, bubble.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know this at all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Green circle.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess I don't have any close friends on Instagram. Never seen that before. Green star. Well, I don't know what that is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry about that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, is this, like, Am I the only one? Am I the only one?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I assumed.

[Nicole Parker]

Am I the only one?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The only one? What?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, my nude on Instagram. Do you understand what I'm asking?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you the only person on Instagram,

[Nicole Parker]

the only one without a friend? Without a good friend?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you. Well, I mean, either you put people in that category, they put you in that category.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't know it was supposed to be between you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's close friends, not good friends,

[Nicole Parker]

and

[Paul F. Tompkins]

you don't have to do it.

[Nicole Parker]

And. And so what is it? What's the use of it? What's. What's it for?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think the use is when you want to say something that's not for the public consumption of everybody, but just people you actually maybe know.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so then you're seeing posts from a July IP that. I am not, is what you're telling me, because she hasn't good friended me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I guess I am. I didn't realize.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so then why does this make sense? What has she been posting or sending you or DMing you? This is weird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My mom's acting like a real baby. What?

[Nicole Parker]

Are you serious? And what do you say, Burns?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I don't respond to that. I'm not gonna get mixed up in that.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't defend me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know what I love.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's an answer. Well, I don't get mixed up in it. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You say. Don't say that about your mom. She loves you. She works very hard.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Be sure what the B stands for. Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, give me a break. Then why did you want to get involved? Why didn't you ask for clarity?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because it's none of my business.

[Nicole Parker]

It is your business because I am your friend. I'm your good friend. Where's my green star?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The star is white. To be fair, it's. It's a circle.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought it was.

[Deborah]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole Parker]

You're confusing me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't mean to.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you have good friends on Instagram, Doug?

[Doug]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Tony's got to be on there.

[Doug]

Oh, of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Mutuals.

[Nicole Parker]

So, anything else? Other than the fact that she called me a B and you said nothing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She said it every day for a while now.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Doug]

You came down on her pretty hard.

[Nicole Parker]

Definitely time for you to intervene. My goodness. And let me know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Family issue. I can't get it mixed up in that.

[Nicole Parker]

You're in my house more often than she is.

[Doug]

JP got a tattoo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Doug]

And it's of the same mole that Taylor Swift has. And Joan came down on her pretty hard.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, it's infected. She didn't take care of it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

God. So it looks like an infected mole.

[Nicole Parker]

It almost looks like a. Like a. Turn me a payday. I'll tell you what. What do you mean it almost looks like it has a face on it? Because the in the infection has gotten so bad. Did you forget you took.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I forgot that you turned my brother's name into an effective.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't. My twin scientist did take it up with a dermatologist. It's not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will not.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will not talk to a dermatologist. I never have, and I never will.

[Nicole Parker]

Why is that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's a scam. Your skin's fine.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not burnt. What are you talking about?

[Doug]

You think I can't see my skin?

[Nicole Parker]

Three things I want you to get checked immediately. That one mole looks like a skyscraper.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not a compliment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's several moles that are joining together.

[Nicole Parker]

That Sounds like a problem together.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are you gonna say first?

[Nicole Parker]

I honestly don't remember. It's feminine overdrive. I could not tell you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's too bad.

[Nicole Parker]

I could not tell you. What? I couldn't tell you what I said two seconds ago. Two minutes ago. Two years ago. Unless it was a line in a play, which I've never forgotten.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Years ago.

[Nicole Parker]

Two years ago. Two years ago, I said. And coffee and waking up. That's what I said. Two years ago, I played Emily Webb in Our Town. They flipped it ages.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And she wants coffee and she wants waking up.

[Nicole Parker]

She misses the smell of coffee and waking up because she's dead now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, right. I always forget that. That's part of it.

[Nicole Parker]

How do you forget? Like, the whole thing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hate that play.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it's about our human nature. It's timeless.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is the stage manager doing there? Get out of here.

[Nicole Parker]

I've talked about this before. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Backstage.

[Nicole Parker]

He's the narrator, but it's also very, you know, raider in there because it's. He's. He's. He's setting the stage. He is the stage manager and the narrator.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're.

[Nicole Parker]

He's letting us know we're seeing a play. We're seeing a play.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want to say to our town.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Our Town. I hope you're listening.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll come back when you're ready.

[Nicole Parker]

Beloved's classic play. Someone's about to read you for filth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll come back when you're ready. Ready?

[Nicole Parker]

That's what you're saying?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll come back when you're ready. What's that mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That means if I'm sitting down, I get ready to watch a play.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have my playbill. I. Maybe I'm thinking about the gin and tonic I'll have at the interval. And a guy comes out at the beginning of the play and says, he's the stage manager. I say, I'll come back when you're ready.

[Nicole Parker]

But here's the thing. Does everybody on this planet know what a stage manager means? No. And it was new to a lot of people, that phrase. And I think it immediately hooked them in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It shouldn't have been introduced to them.

[Nicole Parker]

I think what bothered you is that there were. There's no props and there's no furniture, and there's nothing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll come back when you're also.

[Nicole Parker]

We tried when we did that at Dignity Falls Playhouse. We tried to do that too. You would go get a drink at intermission and the bartender would just mime, handing You a glass and stir it. And everyone. A lot of people were into it. They, like, drank their fake. Fake drinks. But you can't give into the magic of theater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I'm. There's the magic of theater, and then there's the. You know, this is as far as I got.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, Thornton Wilder, I hope you're listening that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope you're listening in hell.

[Nicole Parker]

That is too much. That is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope he's in hell.

[Nicole Parker]

I think it's unequivocally beloved as a piece. I think you're really on the wrong side of history on this.

[Doug]

Do either of you have a jacket on or a coat?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why are you asking, Doug?

[Doug]

Because I'd like to check it. I want to test them.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you that desperate? Test some things. Like what?

[Doug]

Well, there's kind of a conveyor belt.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. You're not doing, like, a dry cleaning.

[Doug]

Yeah, like. And I have a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How many? That's. You're never gonna get that many.

[Nicole Parker]

He just wanted to. He loves that because he loves. He says it's a roller coaster. Clothes. And he loves it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He loves it on the clothes behalf.

[Nicole Parker]

He's even got a loop de loop going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wouldn't like that.

[Nicole Parker]

It has to travel at a lot of speed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if my scar falls out of my pocket?

[Doug]

I have the VIP coat hanger.

[Nicole Parker]

Which is what?

[Doug]

Kind of like, you know, when you go to a. Like a club or something, they park, like, the nicest cars out front.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Is that what they do? Didn't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, they do it at the Dignity Fall. Soho House, for sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah.

[Doug]

They have some great Ford foundations.

[Nicole Parker]

Which is not. It's. It's not at all anything to write home about, you know, as opposed to, like, the other places are like, please take pictures in here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Because no one's aware of it.

[Doug]

But so it's like. It's just presented. So people are like, wow, that guy's coat.

[Nicole Parker]

So you just got a coat that you find.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know if I've ever been in a. In a situation where I've checked a coat and saw somebody else's coat hanging up there. Like, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

I aspire to that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Could you put my coat out of sight? I'm embarrassed.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't have a coat that would make it into VIP section. I don't think that I've got on me. But I have this raincoat. I got this because the boys wanted it. It's. It's that subway thing. It's the pickle coat. You know what I'm Talking about?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna say no, I don't. It's the Subway thing. The pickle coat.

[Nicole Parker]

It's an actual coat with. With. With see through plastic lining. And inside is actual pickles in pickle juice. Please don't be mad. Listen, Remember last year when I told you. When I. When I told you that blue diamond was coming out with. With a cherry slushy almond and you didn't believe me, and then Doug looked it up and it was worse than we could ever imagine?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think. I didn't.

[Nicole Parker]

This is real.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. I didn't believe you because I couldn't understand why that would happen.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I couldn't wrap my mind around. I still can't.

[Nicole Parker]

I understand, and I could be wrong, that it's connected to Subway, but I know it's a thing that they're selling,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

but it can't be real pickles.

[Nicole Parker]

It is real pickles.

[Doug]

Oh, it's kfc.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's, you know, known for their secret Subway.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would have got pickles some way.

[Nicole Parker]

I could see all the secret ingredients they put on their pickles, the herbs and spices.

[Doug]

Oh, they're sliced pickles.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that's what I assumed.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought they were full pickles.

[Doug]

I was assuming whole coasters.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess that would be such a bulky coat.

[Nicole Parker]

When I look at them, they're all just sliced.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're such a bulky coat.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess so. Wouldn't be that much less bulky if they're sliced. I mean, yes, it would be obnoxious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not supporting the coat in any

[Nicole Parker]

way, but I do have to say the weirdest thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do have to say it is demonstrably less bulky if it's sliced.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. But I have to know, babe, what do you think? You love it, right?

[Doug]

I. I'm.

[Nicole Parker]

He's mesmerized.

[Doug]

I love it. I've never seen anything like that. It has two sort of drainage spouts so you can empty.

[Nicole Parker]

No one wants to go with a

[Paul F. Tompkins]

drainage spout so you can empty it. You don't have. You can leave it in there forever.

[Doug]

But it looks like if you use those spouts, it would just drain all the pickle juice. And then you just have loose, limp pickles. Loose pickles in there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They all fall to the bottom of the coat.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, but I think they have separate compartments all along. Right? You know how, like.

[Doug]

Yeah, they're like rows, like ribbed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This shouldn't be happening.

[Doug]

Why?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, this is where we're at now.

[Doug]

Done. Everything else now.

[Nicole Parker]

Now. Now. What do you think of our town, huh?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Done everything else.

[Nicole Parker]

Now what do you think of our town? Burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hate it.

[Nicole Parker]

It so bad. Does it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It does. It still does.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, fine. Have we been talking long enough, babe?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

An immediate response.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll be right back. Neighborhood list of returns.

[Nicole Parker]

Hi, everyone. It's Nicole. How are you? Look, lately I've been more intentional about what I wear from the day to day. Because here's the thing. I do a lot of podcasts, so sometimes I don't think it matters what I wear. But I think Paul and Brett notice when I wear the same outfit. Maybe back to back. Don't. Don't tell them I told you that. And don't say anything. But I learned that I should be leaning into pieces that feel effortless and comfortable, but still put together. Cause it just makes getting dressed simpler to have go tos. And Quince is my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are flattering, and everything just works without overthinking it. And here's the thing. Quince makes it easy to refresh your everyday spring with pieces that feel as good as they look because they use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops start at $30. They are effortless, effortless, breathable, and easy to wear on repeat, which I like. Everything at Quint's is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality and craftsmanship. No brand markup. Now, here's the thing. I've mentioned that I've gotten sunglasses. I've mentioned that I've gotten a great shirt. I've clothes for myself. I've gotten amazing pants for my kid, who is very active. And those pants hold up, baby. But you know what? But summer is coming and I didn't even realize Quince has bathing suits. Did you know this? I didn't know this. I didn't know this. No one told me. Why did no one tell me? It's fine. It's okay. I'm all right. But I just got a one piece. Sorry, I had to swallow. Cause I got so worked up. I just got a one piece Italian cut. And it is so cute. Swimsuit. And it is so cute. I love it. And I would really encourage you to go look at them. Because bathing suits be expensive, y'. All. They are expensive. These are very affordable. I can't recommend them enough. So refresh your everyday with luxury. You'll actually use head to Quince.com TNL for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com TNL for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com TNL

[Paul F. Tompkins]

this is Julietta free desk blotter set. 2025 parentheses ran out of time close parentheses. Includes a large calendar and sticky notes. Perfect for organizing your desk. You can still use the cute little post its and the notes for this. Now, it is a year out of date. But what you do is all you have to do is take one look at a 2026 calendar and then when you're using this desk plotter calendar set, you just mentally go forward a day. I think that's how it works. So if it's. If it's, if it's. If It's. If it's June 6th, then okay, if June. I don't know what day June 6th is this year. Let me. Okay, if it's June 6th in 2026, then you say. But.

[Deborah]

No, if.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so let's say last year June 6th was a Friday. And then you say it's 2026. Now it's on a Saturday. Because the, the days move. Is that how it works? The days move forward one at a time? I mean, all at once? But. But you, but you. But you. Is there. Was there a leap year? I don't recall if there was a leap year. There was not a leap year. So, okay, so then, yes, you just go forward. So for each time that you look at it, you say it's actually, it's a day later than I think and it's just that simple. And as a reminder, you can still use the cute little post its and the notes for this.

[Nicole Parker]

It's free. When.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, now, but this time I know you did it on prompt. Okay, what was that at hw.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

When? And a d at the end.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Fun. Wait, was it just then? It was. It doesn't matter when.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are back with a guest right here at the kitchen island. Now what we do, folks, every week, we call them the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods. We look for interesting neighbors to talk to, people that maybe they want to amplify their story, maybe they want to ask a question, maybe they have something to answer for. And if you see a post you think we should talk about, why don't you screenshot it and send it to [e-mail] like Kristen Rudy. Kristen Rudy. Thank you for alerting us to this post. This comes from Deborah. This is in the crime and safety section. Deborah writes, did something happen to the Dignity Falls Hospital? I just had a terrible dream.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Very dramatic. And here to tell us about this dream is Deborah. Deborah, welcome to the neighborhood.

[Deborah]

Listen, hi. No, I'm sorry. You're here to. I'm here to be confronted by you. Right. For what I wrote. For what I did.

[Nicole Parker]

What? No, wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not necessarily.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, why would you think.

[Deborah]

Sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would you think that?

[Deborah]

I didn't seem like there was anything else to think, really. It seemed like the logical conclusion to be invited here is to be confronted.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm guessing this dream has you spooked.

[Deborah]

I. Yes. Not more spooked than any other day, but definitely spooked. Also, sorry for the way I'm dressed. There was a coat check, but I wasn't wearing a coat, so I just gave what I had.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You felt compelled to give it?

[Nicole Parker]

Babe, you shouldn't have let her give you her. I mean. Yes, because now.

[Doug]

What is this exactly?

[Nicole Parker]

You're just in a slip and I feel bad.

[Deborah]

That's my outdoor dress. That's what I wear to go outside.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, all right. What? So is that kind of like a muumu or like a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, like a house coat?

[Deborah]

Yeah, it's the opposite of a moomoo, actually.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess so. I guess it is. Most people wear those inside. I don't know. That's true. I guess that's on me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They are indoor, outdoor. A lot of clothes are indoor. Outdoor.

[Deborah]

So it just keeps this ticket. I keep this ticket.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't have to. Don't worry.

[Doug]

Don't lose it.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't charge it.

[Doug]

Don't lose that charging.

[Deborah]

I don't have a pocket on my slip.

[Doug]

Lose that ticket.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. Well, a pocket was a slip with pockets for the ladies.

[Nicole Parker]

Refreshing to see someone wear a slip. I. I'm. It's so old fashioned. I love a slip.

[Doug]

This is cool, this dress. I guess it's supposed to drag behind you because it has, like, outdoor wheels on it.

[Deborah]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Deborah]

I thought you were supposed to put it away.

[Nicole Parker]

I love it has wheels on it, like along the back, like on a. Like a train.

[Doug]

Oh, I'll put it away. I just.

[Nicole Parker]

I am allowed the train of, like, a dress. And then there's wheels. Wheels?

[Doug]

Yeah, for outdoors, so it doesn't get muddy and stuff.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. I'm assuming there's other ways to keep it not muddy. I Mean, you could just make it. Not as long. But there's wheels on it.

[Deborah]

That is what it's for. I didn't. I didn't know the rules of code. Check that you're allowed to play with it for.

[Doug]

Yeah, I am. If you read the. If you read the back of the ticket, it says I'm allowed to play with it.

[Deborah]

It does say that.

[Doug]

And I can go through the pockets.

[Nicole Parker]

You put a sign up saying you're allowed to play with people's clothes just to protect us. Oh.

[Doug]

From any, you know, liability. No.

[Nicole Parker]

Let me guess. You're putting it on and doing, like, a little accent and a little character.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know you. Are you doing that?

[Deborah]

That's all on the ticket. It is handwritten on the ticket.

[Nicole Parker]

But it does say that you hand write the tickets. My gosh, this is going to take you forever.

[Doug]

Personal touch.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Sorry about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can we ask you.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

About your dream.

[Deborah]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And why did you think we were. You were going to be confronted?

[Deborah]

I. I just. I. That. That was the first time I've posted on the app.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. Wow.

[Deborah]

I. I'm. I was scared to make an account for a long time because I assume everybody's mad at me on there and talking about me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why. Why would you think that?

[Deborah]

I don't know. Am I. Am I wrong?

[Nicole Parker]

No, Deborah, you're not. You. You are wrong, but you're not wrong either, for sure. I understand that. That feeling. I'm a little wary of social media myself. I have a sense sometimes that everyone's mad at me, and a lot of times here on my podcast, people are. But that's sort of bled into the rest of my life. But I also wonder, burnt, if her dream has something to do with also why she's thinking, we're going to be mad at you. Does it have anything to do with that?

[Deborah]

I feel like a lot of ideas were put forward and I tried my best to follow along.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sure you did great. Sometimes I ask too many questions. I'm really sorry about that. That's a. That's a fair note. Thank you.

[Deborah]

No, no, I would never note you. I would never come to your home.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely. Okay. You can know me. I'm an actress. I'm used to getting notes, trust me. Might not agree with them, but I try to listen. So let's just start simply. Tell us what your dream is about.

[Deborah]

That it was. It was pretty bad. So you know the Dignity Falls Hospital.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Deborah]

I woke up and I had just had a dream that they ran out of printer Paper for all the visitor badges. And I woke up in a sweat. And I was like, I have to download the neighbor app, neighborhood app. And then I'll post about it, and then hopefully somebody can tell me that that didn't actually happen. But right after I posted, I was like, oh, God, now everybody's going to be mad at me. That didn't actually happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, to recap, your terrible dream about the Dignity Falls Hospital was that they ran out of printer paper and wouldn't be able to print the visitor badges. Visitor badges. And you thought that if you posted about that, everybody would be mad that that didn't happen? Well, you thought you would cause a panic.

[Deborah]

I guess if it hadn't happened, then everybody would be mad that I had caused a panic. And if I. If it had happened, then maybe I had caused it with my dream. And. And. Or if I.

[Nicole Parker]

You caused it with your dream? Explain that. How.

[Deborah]

How what.

[Nicole Parker]

What made you worry about that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well.

[Deborah]

Cause after I was panicking about, oh, maybe it didn't happen, and I worried everybody, for no reason, I found myself hoping that it had happened. And. And that's not very good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just so that your dream would not be false.

[Deborah]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I see. I didn't know if there was a precedent for you having another dream about something and then you had made it happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That leads me to my next question.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which is? Have you had a. A sit where at least once something you dreamed came true?

[Deborah]

Yes. One day when I was very young, I dreamt that my whole family had left. And then when I woke up, it was true.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your whole family? How old were you were a little kid.

[Deborah]

But then they came back. They came? But they were just. They went to church without me that morning.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, good heavens. Okay. Okay. That was. So you can understand why we thought you meant something else. I see. Okay.

[Deborah]

It was a.

[Nicole Parker]

It was just very unlucky timing is what we're talking about.

[Deborah]

Those few minutes I woke up, the service was already done, so they were back within a few minutes.

[Nicole Parker]

But I just seem really torturous. Thank goodness they came back so soon. Okay, so do you. How old are you now?

[Deborah]

I'm 33 years old.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And can I ask what you do for a living here in Digby Falls?

[Deborah]

I work remotely.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you do? Okay.

[Deborah]

For a company, that does nothing bad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Deborah, I. I have to say, that does sound.

[Nicole Parker]

That's the response.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That kind of sounds a little suspicious.

[Nicole Parker]

I have to agree. Could you. Could you elaborate anymore?

[Deborah]

I'm thinking about quitting.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why is that.

[Deborah]

Because I'm not positive it's nothing bad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I see.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you do at this place?

[Deborah]

I do customer service. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Deborah]

But only, like, typing, like, chatting, like, not on. Not on the online assistant.

[Nicole Parker]

Got it.

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Now what. What are some of the typical complaints you receive? If you want to keep it vague,

[Deborah]

the product was not effective enough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Could be so many things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not effective enough.

[Nicole Parker]

Enough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So it's somewhat effective, just not as much as people would like.

[Deborah]

That's what I try to respond, so.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you'd be good at this, Jobbert.

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you looking because you had a

[Deborah]

good instinct I might quit, and then that's what she does for you, so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I already have a job, but thank you very much. Can you give us a hint as to what the product might be?

[Nicole Parker]

What category?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Almost effective.

[Nicole Parker]

But is this medicine? Is it a kitchen appliance?

[Deborah]

Kind of the opposite of medicine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

This is what I was worried about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Poison.

[Deborah]

It's not poison. Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

The only thing worse was her saying, it's not. Not poison.

[Deborah]

Like, poison is a. Is a. Slow. Is a slower.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Deborah]

Anyways.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, not slower.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Something Faster than poison.

[Deborah]

Faster than poison is this. I might quit, though.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I mean, I might agree with you that you should,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

rather than fielding complaints from murderers all day.

[Deborah]

I didn't say. No, you didn't, because it's not that effective. It's somewhat effective.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. And now it's exciting to hear about what is the person who has ingested this and it's not effective enough. What has that leave that person. That's concerning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that's why I think it's murderous. Because I think they're trying to kill people.

[Nicole Parker]

It's what it sounds like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it's faster than poison.

[Nicole Parker]

It's faster than poison. So then what do they mean that they're. Could you expand on their. It's not effective enough.

[Deborah]

No one's ingesting anything.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Deborah]

I guess what I would argue with effectiveness is that it's human error. That's. Well, I guess it would depend on what you define, how you define error.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just so. Just so you know, Deborah, and this is so you won't feel confronted, we pledge that we will not ask you directly what the company is and what the product is.

[Deborah]

No, you can. You can confront me. I should be held accountable. That's what this is, right?

[Nicole Parker]

No, again, this is just a podcast where we talk about. We get to know our neighbors better.

[Deborah]

Okay. So I'll be judged by a jury of my peers that your audience should

[Nicole Parker]

it come to that, I can't speak to if our listeners are going to judge you or not, but we are here to ask questions. Usually what we're trying to do is help someone amplify their message.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Deborah]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, in this case, I'm not quite sure what the message is. Let's go back really quickly because I very want much want to know more about this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Mystery product, but did anyone reply to your post about your dream, like to answer you about what was going on with the hospital?

[Deborah]

I haven't opened the app since.

[Nicole Parker]

You haven't?

[Deborah]

I was scared.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You asked a question.

[Deborah]

Let me double.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You asked a question. Did anything happen? I had something happen.

[Deborah]

I did ask a question. Yeah. I guess I didn't want to know the answer.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you. So you didn't even do any investigation? You didn't, like, call the hospital and say, how are you fixed for.

[Deborah]

So I am at fault because I didn't follow up. I could have called the hospital. I could have done something.

[Nicole Parker]

I think that you're more worried about being at fault for a fictional dream than you are about hawking products that kill people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. I think you could let yourself off the hook for this dream.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I think you're getting too worked up about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Because you have control over it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We control our dreams. Unless you get into that lucid dreaming that people say they do.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, but then what is actually. What are you really doing then? I mean, it's still just a brain trick.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're saying, like, I feel like flying now and then you fly.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. But how does that affect anyone in real life?

[Deborah]

Life?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I guess if you're Freddy Krueger.

[Nicole Parker]

Not again, babe. What did you say you love? You said dreaming. You did his voice on a episode recently, and it was horrifying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I forgot about that.

[Nicole Parker]

It was all too accurate. If they're.

[Doug]

If she's sleepwalking while dreaming, maybe that. Yeah, this could be at fault.

[Deborah]

I really relate to Freddy Krueger.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, how so?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just I think it's a tricky phrase.

[Nicole Parker]

It sure is. That's a. That's a tricky turn of phrase.

[Deborah]

Oh, what, that I relate to Freddy Krueger?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that's the one. That's the one.

[Doug]

I like this. Fred. Fred.

[Deborah]

Oh, it's not Fred. It's. It's just Fred.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you. Are you less upset by Fred? This is Fred Krueger.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fred Krueger. Fred.

[Nicole Parker]

Sounds like Frederick Krueger. Sounds like your friend's dad.

[Doug]

Freddy's kind of, you know, fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will take that I'll take down. That. They take that down to Fred Krueger, see what he has to say about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so how do you relate to Freddy Krueger?

[Deborah]

Just, what if. What if that's me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, what if that's me? What do you mean?

[Deborah]

Like, what if that's me? You know when you worry that.

[Nicole Parker]

You're worried that you're appearing in other people's dreams and killing them?

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're worried that a bunch of children are gonna burn you alive?

[Deborah]

Like, you know when you watch a movie and there's a bad guy and you're like, what if that's me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know that I've had that particular sensation.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Has this happened with other movies?

[Deborah]

Almost every movie.

[Nicole Parker]

Almost every movie. What if it's a good movie where there's no bad guys? Guys.

[Deborah]

Okay, name one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I'm interested, too. The movie with no bad guys.

[Nicole Parker]

Marvin's Room.

[Deborah]

What's. How does that one.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just Diane Keaton and Meryl Streep going through. One's going through a divorce, one's going through cancer, and Leonardo DiCaprio is the son, and they just talk about life.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I say, the bad guys, cancer.

[Deborah]

And.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Deborah]

And I'm like, well, what if I'm the cancer now?

[Nicole Parker]

Come on. That doesn't make sense. Not like the other things did, but that really doesn't make sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But when you.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, I'm glad I used that example, because.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Began as a play. Look it up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm good. And. And. And so you. When you see Freddy Krueger on screen and you say, what if that's me? Do you think, oh, no. What if I am murdering people in their dreams? That's. That's what you're thinking?

[Deborah]

I think that. I think, like, what if. What if I understand him too much?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you feel like you have empathy for Freddy Krueger in the movie? Movies?

[Deborah]

Is empathy, like, when you're like, I understand everything he's thinking,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

or that. Would that be sympathy? Is sympathy the one where you've had the same experiences, you've had the same feelings?

[Nicole Parker]

I feel like they're so similar, it gets a. It gets very hard to actually determine it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I. I always thought of empathy as a thing where you understand the human condition.

[Nicole Parker]

So you might not agree with it, but you can empathize.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can see somebody going through a hard time and saying, I understand. Y. I get it.

[Doug]

But you don't feel bad. Sympathy is when you feel bad.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe that's a Good sort of crude way of describing it, I suppose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think empathy is just like, I get it, but I dismiss it.

[Nicole Parker]

But I think people use that word when they're trying to even talk about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't care, but I get it.

[Nicole Parker]

But I think people do use empathize when it's necessary. Not necessarily something they understand or agree with. But that's the thing. Yes, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm really sorry. I'm. I'm sorry, Deborah. We're getting a little bit off topic.

[Deborah]

This is really.

[Nicole Parker]

But. But this matters because you had a question about the word empathy, and we're trying to figure out how it relates to you and Freddy Krueger so

[Doug]

well. EMP grenade. Disables electronics. Emp.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, an EMP grenade.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thing we learned from video games. Yes, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not the same thing. I don't think, babe, empathy is. Does that stand for empathy grenade?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of a another.

[Doug]

Share the feelings.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Share the feelings.

[Nicole Parker]

Share the feelings.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, share the feelings. Don't bogart those feelings. All right? And then we're going to look up sympathy

[Doug]

for the devil.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, babe, we're going to leave. We're just going to try to keep on track here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.

[Nicole Parker]

Aha. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The formal expression of pity or sorrow for someone else. So that's sort of saying like. Like, I can't relate to that, but I feel bad for you.

[Deborah]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Like 99 problems. This is why you buy sympathy when someone dies.

[Deborah]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

So which would you say are you. Do you sympathize with Freddy Krueger or. Or empathize with him?

[Deborah]

I don't feel bad for him. I just understand him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And what part do you understand? What is it? Did something similar happen to you in your childhood or what. What is it that you identify with?

[Deborah]

I haven't. It hasn't happened to me. I just understand the feeling of like, you know, he. He just. He wanted to be friends with the kids, but they didn't want to be friends with him.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I don't know. That.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was a very generous read. I think that's a very generous read on Freddy Krueger.

[Deborah]

Did I not understand the movie?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think you did. You may have skimmed the explanation of.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why he came to.

[Nicole Parker]

Or if you saw like a. Like a five minute recap, maybe. Something like that.

[Deborah]

Okay, well, how would you sum it up in two sentences?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A man who is accused of being a child predator is burned alive, then comes back to kill people in their dreams. The end.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. You didn't even need the second sentence.

[Deborah]

Okay. Well, I guess I. I understand feeling wronged.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you share that? Is there something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was he wrong?

[Nicole Parker]

He was a bad guy before he got burned.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was a bad guy.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, He. He was already a bad guy. He was the quintessential bad guy.

[Doug]

Doesn't he have scissor hands, too?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He has. He has razors. Razor fingers.

[Nicole Parker]

He has blades for hands. I think it's too confusing to say Scissorhands, because that's a different movie about a boy who's not a bad hand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

His hands were literally scissors.

[Nicole Parker]

They were literally scissors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Freddy has, like, a glove.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. That's what it is. So he could take that off if he wants to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what?

[Nicole Parker]

He could. He could just choose a better life.

[Doug]

You could check it here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He could check his hat.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. Good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you get to play with it

[Nicole Parker]

for a minute, which you absolutely would.

[Deborah]

Okay. I guess how I, Deborah, differ from Freddy Krueger is that I, we're both bad. But I, Deborah, try to not do the bad thing. Like, maybe I'll be like, oh, I feel like Freddy does, but I won't do the predating. And. And. But so I understand what came before and after.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why do you feel bad? Why do you feel a personal moment

[Nicole Parker]

from your life that makes you identify with him? What is it that you recognize?

[Deborah]

You heard. You saw my part post.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You had a dream.

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

It can't be just that, but your

[Paul F. Tompkins]

dream was one of concern. You were concerned about the hospital because you felt people were not going to be able to visit their loved ones.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Deborah]

And then my reaction to waking up was that I hope it happened for real. That's pretty.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought you said you hope it happened just so people wouldn't be mad about you.

[Deborah]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. So that's not what Freddy Krueger does. That's not at all close.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because you don't think it would be this. Okay. You don't think it would be good if the hospital ran out of printer paper?

[Deborah]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Okay. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you thought if you. If you talk about this dream and it doesn't come true, people would then be mad at you. You don't think their first thing would be relief that it hadn't happened.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why would they be so mad?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. This is the part I don't get. Can you tell us a little bit about your childhood? Did you have a good Childhood or a lot of friends.

[Deborah]

It was a great child.

[Nicole Parker]

Anything stick out, out. And again, I'm just gonna. I'm not a therapist, but, you know, a lot of times on this show, I'm not either. We ask about. Just for clarification, Doug, how do you want to answer?

[Doug]

Certainly not.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. But I do find that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you have a therapist?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Okay.

[Deborah]

She's on maternity leave.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we wish her all the best and congratulations. Have you discussed this stuff with her in therapy?

[Deborah]

No, she's been on maternity leave for a few years now.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's not a thing, really. Well, not in that. This country, but in Sweden, I think

[Paul F. Tompkins]

you could go back to work when they're 18,

[Nicole Parker]

you just send them into

[Doug]

work,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

they finally get a job, then you can go back to work.

[Nicole Parker]

So what I mean is, is there anything sometimes on.

[Deborah]

On.

[Nicole Parker]

On the podcast with. We have guests that I. I just say, is there anything that sticks out to you, you know, in your childhood? Something that was a horrible moment or a. Not because I didn't want to hear it, but not because I want to hear it, but because it might lead to an answer as to why you're feeling this way now. I mean, did you have dreams like this when you were a kid? Did someone get mad at you for telling a lie? Something like that.

[Deborah]

I guess it's a. When I think about my childhood, it's a lot of like, oh, I thought something really bad had happened and it was entirely my fault. But then a few minutes later, everything was fine.

[Nicole Parker]

How often would you say that happened?

[Deborah]

Well, how. How off? Like, every day.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is an incredibly stressful way to live.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you give us. We've already gotten the. The church without you. Example. Can you. Can you give us an example of something bad that happened that was your fault?

[Deborah]

Oh, okay. Well, I guess my mom always said that my little sister was born because I seemed too lonely. So I. I guess. Guess her existence is my fault.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I would never say that as something negative. You know, also, it's heavy to put

[Paul F. Tompkins]

that on a child.

[Nicole Parker]

But you're saying you. You created this thought. No one else told you that?

[Deborah]

Well, I guess I didn't really think that as so much as it was told to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, you said your mother told you that.

[Deborah]

Yes, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, I see what you're saying. She shouldn't have said that to her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She shouldn't.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that.

[Deborah]

No, it's my fault.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it's.

[Nicole Parker]

Right, but it's not your fault.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not. How could you have made that happen?

[Deborah]

I. That's what it.

[Nicole Parker]

Trust me, it couldn't.

[Deborah]

Okay,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

now, when you say okay like that, are you really taking this in or are you just trying to move the conversation along?

[Deborah]

Are you mad?

[Nicole Parker]

We're not mad. You're not? I think this is what I'm trying to look for. Was there a time. What's the worst time when someone did get mad at you? Because it has to have happened. Happened. Usually you would not be afraid someone's mad at you unless someone actually was and it was so terrible that you never wanted to experience that again.

[Deborah]

I guess people do get mad, but it's usually not when I think they were mad. It's when I. It's. It's. I think they were mad and they were like, I wasn't. And then. But my behavior after causes an actual problem.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, can you give us an example of that? How your behavior causes the problem? I'm so sorry. We're just trying to understand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you go. You go up to somebody and say, I think you're mad at me. And they say, no, I'm not mad at you. And then you.

[Nicole Parker]

Something happens after.

[Deborah]

Well, I guess I don't necessarily go up to them and say, I think you're mad at me. I just. I stop talking to them.

[Nicole Parker]

And.

[Deborah]

And then maybe later, or they'll send me. They'll try to contact me and say I wasn't mad. But then I've stopped talking to them

[Paul F. Tompkins]

because you would assume that they were mad.

[Nicole Parker]

Why can't you believe them, though, when they say, I'm not mad at you? What is the part of your brain that can't accept. Accept that as truth?

[Deborah]

Do you think we'll get to an answer today?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, Deborah, that's a fair question.

[Deborah]

No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to. We can keep going. I just don't know if we'll get to where you want us to get.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, it's a lot. There's so much to unpack here. This is obviously something that's deep within you for a long time. I. I don'. I don't know if we're gonna crack the code today just because we're not

[Nicole Parker]

really dealing in specifics, you know, like, I still haven't really nailed down anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We did promise we'd never ask the product.

[Deborah]

I don't feel that bad about my job. It's just I. I'm so burnt out over there, that's all.

[Nicole Parker]

So that's why you want to Quit? Not because of a moral.

[Deborah]

No, I'm just burnt out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And how long have you had this job?

[Deborah]

Since I. August.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, So not quite a year. Do you get out much? Do you have friends you would consider good friends?

[Deborah]

I don't. I, I, I, I make new friends, and then I. Well, how old is an old friend?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I think that's confused. That was confusing. We should have just let her keep going.

[Deborah]

You know, the last time I went out was to see Our Town. Town?

[Nicole Parker]

No way.

[Deborah]

I love. I really love Our Town.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you do? Well, explain to Bert why you love our town. Maybe she'll be able to explain it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Deborah]

It's like the. The rules of society are kind of made up. Like, I don't relate to these people, but they're telling me what their rules of society are.

[Nicole Parker]

Now. Now, that is the first time I've ever heard anyone say that about our.

[Deborah]

And so I'm like, okay, the rules

[Nicole Parker]

of society are different from. Yes, yours. It's really just about life and death and love. Yeah, that's not your world.

[Deborah]

Well, just the specifics of their world. I'm like, I don't relate to any of that stuff.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, I saw a production of Our Town that was, you know, lights are up the whole time. Everybody's just in their, you know, street clothes. And then at the very end there, there's this little kitchen, and then these people in period clothes, and they're baking bread, and you can smell the bread baking. And there's an actual stove, like a real set.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I thought, why wasn't this the whole play?

[Nicole Parker]

Because birth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you have the ability to do this?

[Nicole Parker]

She's dead. And so at first, everything is just minimalist, right? And then when she goes back into the memory, she. The siege manager lets her go back and have a morning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's him.

[Nicole Parker]

And that's why. But it's to show us it's a mirror to nature and to humanity. Bern, don't you see? All of a sudden, all the smells come back in. It's as if you're getting to go. It's Kate Wins. Like, getting back to coming back onto the Titanic when she dies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we're supposed to. The what? And we're supposed to believe this is the afterlife. Now you can remember smells. Thanks.

[Nicole Parker]

And this is the whole point, is that no one, if you remember, no one looks at her. She tries to talk to her mom. She's like, mama. And she says, everyone's rushing so fast, no one's looking at each other. Let's actually look at each other and enjoy each other. It's beautiful, Mama.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't you see me? I'm wearing.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm wearing Adidas sweatpants to go cult

[Nicole Parker]

July and tell her she could go Mahoma. Why? Why? Did you see the beauty of this bird?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Deborah, did you share this? We'll talk about this. Deborah, did you share this dream with anyone besides this very vague post on neighborhap?

[Deborah]

No. No. But I guess now, now you both and your listeners drink some fireballs.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm back. I just. I finished crying into a towel

[Paul F. Tompkins]

now. Okay, so you, you, how do you feel now knowing that the dream did not come true and that everything was fine and that you don't have to worry about this anymore?

[Deborah]

I guess it was never about the dream. And I regret having posted.

[Nicole Parker]

Why is that? Why do you regret it? Because of coming on here. Do you regret coming on here?

[Deborah]

No. It's lovely to meet you.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it? Just can't tell. Do you understand? We're not mad at you.

[Deborah]

I, I.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you feel that?

[Deborah]

What do you want me to say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it's Deborah.

[Nicole Parker]

I've never met anyone so afraid of people and interaction and saying things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're not, we're not looking for any specific answer.

[Nicole Parker]

We want you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We just want you to feel okay.

[Deborah]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know. I don't know what else to say or do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you okay?

[Deborah]

Am I worrying you? Is there anything I can do to help?

[Nicole Parker]

No. See, I feel like you're gonna say whatever you think we want you to say, and I don't. I'm trying to get you out of that cycle because then I would consider that a win, you know, because you haven't really had.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, the closest you've had to one of these dreams coming true is you thought your parents had a bad abandoned you. And then for a few minutes and then you realize, no, they were just a church without you. Anything.

[Deborah]

Well, one day I, I. Okay, sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Go. Whatever you were gonna say.

[Deborah]

Okay. There was one day where I had a dream that the. The sun disappeared and that. And then the next day did happen to be a solar eclipse. So that was pretty crazy.

[Nicole Parker]

Almost unlucky timing with dreams.

[Deborah]

But that was like one time out of all the nights I've been asleep.

[Nicole Parker]

So wait, so that's. You've only had three dreams so far. Like those. The three. The hospital one.

[Deborah]

I'm trying to. I don't write them down, so I'm trying to remember.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, but that one, you felt sort of came true.

[Deborah]

Yeah, that was just like. That's crazy.

[Nicole Parker]

It sounds like you were able to realize, though I didn't do that, it wasn't because of me. That's science. That just happened on its own. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you ever had one of these dreams and you did tell someone and they did get mad, mad at you?

[Deborah]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

See, this is what I was trying to find out. I don't think there's any precedent for anyone getting mad at her. So I'm just trying to figure out where it's coming from.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But this is always your fear.

[Deborah]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

It sounds like from the beginning of her life.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It really does.

[Nicole Parker]

And I just want to free you of that because then it's got to be. No wonder you're exhausted. It's an exhausting way to live, thinking everyone's mad at you.

[Deborah]

Yeah, that's a terrible burden. I will say, the times that someone has told me they are mad at me, I think they're really wrong.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so wait, I'm sorry, say that again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you have. You have a fear that people are going to be mad at you, but when they actually have said I'm mad at you, you think they're mistaken. They have no right.

[Nicole Parker]

So that has happened twice. We've asked you if someone's ever been mad at you. You see, you can't remember.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no. As a result of the dreams.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. So, no, I meant in life.

[Deborah]

Was it they've been mad, but not the times where I've been worried. Someone.

[Nicole Parker]

I get it. Can you tell us a specific example? When someone was mad at. At you? Yes.

[Deborah]

Sorry. I guess I've dismissed them from my memory because I didn't think.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why would you want to hold on to that?

[Nicole Parker]

Because you were just not culpable?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly.

[Deborah]

Well, I guess, yeah. People have been mad at me for where I work, but I think they're wrong.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, what are the types of things? How do they express this?

[Deborah]

You know, I've had close friends who I no longer talk to because they're like, oh, Deborah, why do you work for. I won't say the company, but selling. I won't say the product. Especially when it results in. I won't say what it results in.

[Nicole Parker]

Although we do know. We do kind of know what it results in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Or at least what it's supposed to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Deborah]

Okay. And they'll say, I don't know if I can continue to be friends with you if you are contributing to that in. In our world.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. But you think they're wrong.

[Deborah]

I think they're wrong. And I stopped talking to them.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Doug]

I think I know know it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, and again, you're. You're Your fault with the company. Why you might want to quit is not because of what they do or sell. It's because you're burned out.

[Deborah]

The hours are great. I just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did you get burned out?

[Deborah]

I don't know. Maybe it's not aligned with what I want to do. I've been watching a lot of Instagram reels.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Deborah]

Oh. And sometimes burnout is when you're not aligned.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's what Instagram told you?

[Deborah]

That's what Instagram said.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've been hearing that a lot. But if you're not aligned, you're probably going to burn out.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And. And if you could do anything other than work for this mysterious.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a great question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Potentially lethal company, what would it be?

[Deborah]

I think I would want to work in theater, but, like, behind the scenes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like to be a stage manager.

[Deborah]

Yeah, that would be amazing. But not the actor who's playing.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, of course not. That's too controversial. That would be amazing, though. You know, I could, I could bring you in. I could let you meet everybody because,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

you know, Joan's a big wig at the. The Dignity Falls Community Playhouse.

[Nicole Parker]

I am. I am.

[Deborah]

Oh, I, I, I couldn't. I couldn't ask you to do that.

[Nicole Parker]

No, we be. We need more crew members. You know, it's always hard to get more crew members. Everyone wants to be on stage. You know, no one wants to be backstage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true. But do you have any black clothing?

[Deborah]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, you're look. That's a plus.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. She's halfway there.

[Deborah]

I have a lot of clipboards and binders.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. How about colored tape?

[Deborah]

Oh, yeah, I have, like, a little ring of colored tape.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why do you have that?

[Deborah]

I've just always had it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is any of that tape gitd?

[Deborah]

No. I don't know what that means.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Glow in the dark.

[Deborah]

Oh, wow. Oh, that's some industry.

[Nicole Parker]

They call it glow tape. Really? In theater, burnt is what they call it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, well, she's not in the theater, so I thought I would maybe make it simple.

[Doug]

I feel like glow tape is simpler than gitd.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, but glow. But then it's a conversation starter. I don't know what that means. Glow in the dark.

[Doug]

It's only four letters.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now you understand what it is, and we're talking. We're having fun.

[Nicole Parker]

We are having fun. No doubt, babe. What did you think the product is? I Know you're dying to say it.

[Doug]

I can say it. I guess. You two made the pledge. I didn't make a pledge.

[Nicole Parker]

You didn't pledge anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

True.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you okay, Deborah? If he makes a guess, sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You okay? If the Cocheck guy makes a guess?

[Deborah]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Doug]

Is it brain eating amoeba?

[Deborah]

Oh, that's a good guess.

[Nicole Parker]

Ah, what a good way to not answer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Terrible thing to hear.

[Nicole Parker]

Indeed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not a brain eating amoeba, but good guess.

[Nicole Parker]

Good guess. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So having this. Okay. You have a lot of clipboards, you have a lot of binders.

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have a key ring of colored tapes. Have you ever been backstage at a theater?

[Deborah]

No. Never.

[Nicole Parker]

What made you, what made you want to do it? Seeing Our Town.

[Deborah]

Yeah, I think so.

[Nicole Parker]

Uh huh.

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you like people, do you like telling people how many minutes there are until something happens?

[Deborah]

I don't have a lot of experience in it, but I, I, but I am always aware of how many minutes there are.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, that's helpful. I will say that, you know, if you're experiencing burnout, stage managers, they do a lot of work and it's a lot of, you know, long hours. But, but maybe that's not the issue. It's being aligned. Right. And maybe you'll be aligned with stage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stage being aligned really helps you avoid burnout.

[Nicole Parker]

It sure does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Deborah]

That's what I keep hearing.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I know those reels.

[Deborah]

Yeah. It does seem like stage managing is pretty thankless, huh?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, yes, I do think that there's generally a clash between the stage managers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Program is for.

[Deborah]

Oh, for the thank yous.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. But you don't get, you get to have like 23 characters and that's it. So it's just Law and Order at the end. Thanks to Bob.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I stage manage Law and Order. Do you know how at the end of the play when they gesture to, you know, the, the people, I think they should just keep pointing all over the place to everybody, wherever the crew is.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you know, a lot of people these days bring the crew out on stage for about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they really do?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't know that. That's nice.

[Nicole Parker]

It depends. Especially when it's a very tech heavy show.

[Deborah]

Oh, wow. I don't want that.

[Nicole Parker]

I was part of the. You never want to be on stage, that's fine. You don't have to be. You don't have to have to be. You're, you can just be in the shadows, dressing shoes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If they bring the crew out on stage, can you say, not me, I'M not going out there.

[Nicole Parker]

I believe you can. Yes. Can't be. It's a different union. Can't be forced.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Different union.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought.

[Deborah]

I thought stage managers were Equity Actors Equity.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes. Stage manager might be a different thing, but the crew members. It depends on the theater. Are their own union. In some theaters, it depends on the theater, folks. It really does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is this fun to hear all this theater talk?

[Nicole Parker]

It seems like it.

[Deborah]

Are you asking the audience or me?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm asking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm looking at you. I'm asking you.

[Deborah]

I like it. I learned what table work is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's table work?

[Deborah]

It's when you work at the table.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? As an answer.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a wonderful process where all the actors talk about what they think the dialogue means, and then they say the word piggyback a lot, as in piggybacking on what you said.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Get me out of there.

[Nicole Parker]

And it does always feel like they're all. Everyone's trying to win table work. You know, they're trying to come up with the best answer for what the play is about.

[Deborah]

And it's different than being up on your feet.

[Nicole Parker]

It's definitely different than being up on your feet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Up on your feet. Let's. Let's put it up on a first.

[Nicole Parker]

Do table work. You look at the text. You go to the text.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's what I would do at table work.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everybody goes around. They say their thing, and I'm not saying anything. And I'm just. I'm sitting there like this. I'm lean back in my chair, arms folded. Right. And then I wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait until somebody says, well, what do you think? Burnt. And I say, you're all full of. And I stand up and walk out.

[Nicole Parker]

That would be so refreshing. Burnt. It really would, honestly. I wish someone would. I wish someone would.

[Deborah]

Do you think you would be able to go to the next rehearsal after that? Or you. That would just be your exit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I guess. I gaslight everybody the next day. I said, what are you talking about? Why would I say that?

[Nicole Parker]

And you'd stay. Because you're the only guy that can sing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Street presenting. So I. I feel like the theater is sort of has been calling you for quite a long time.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. This is where your real sort of supernatural gift comes in, is that you've been preparing for working in the theater and not even realizing it this whole

[Deborah]

time, because you could be bad there, and that's just. Just part of the process.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like a bad person.

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Part of theater.

[Nicole Parker]

And just be prepared. If you decide to go to theater, someone will be mad at you at some point for something. Fans.

[Deborah]

Fans will be mad at you. Have fans been mad at you?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure. Yeah. I had to call out because I was in the hospital. I had sepsis and they came to my hospital room to complain. Why weren't you there on stage? Show must go. Want.

[Deborah]

Wow. Did that make you feel loved?

[Nicole Parker]

Could feel anything at that time?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What would that make you feel love, Deborah, if somebody did that to you?

[Deborah]

I don't. Well, it's just that they want. They wanted your performance so badly that they came to you with anger in their heart to express their love.

[Doug]

They did have flowers and get well soon cards, but with that message in the card.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's fair.

[Nicole Parker]

But the soon underneath had an asterisk. It said already. Not soon enough. It was very rude. It was very rude.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which show was that?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that was Dance the Vampires, which was a musical famously on Broadway and famously didn't do well. But we tried to reimagine it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you called it Dance Pyres, right?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, we tried to smush it together. Dance pyres. It was very dance heavy. We did. We had. We had everybody up and dancing. We were teaching the dance.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Come on, everybody, let's do the dance pyre on Broadway.

[Deborah]

Thousand Seat House.

[Nicole Parker]

No, this was at the Disney Falls Playhouse. They didn't do that. This was a reimagining of the dance of the vampires called Dance Pyres.

[Doug]

Yeah, he had umpires in it.

[Nicole Parker]

We did. That was his idea. He was like, you know, you should do. She'd have umpires as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it was set in the umpire staple.

[Nicole Parker]

And anytime someone would bite someone, he'd yell strike.

[Deborah]

Was there still vampire stuff there?

[Nicole Parker]

Sure was. I just said people bit. People got bit on the neck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And if the. All the blood was drained, then the vampire would go, you're out of there.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it was. It was. It was. It followed the actual real time of a baseball game. So it was a very long. There were. There were 300.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very long. Yes. There was branding all over the stage.

[Nicole Parker]

There was a seventh inning bite. You know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You could clever bet on it.

[Deborah]

So if I was already working at the theater, maybe I could have like sold concessions, walked around. Is that.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Now that would have you being out in front of people and you said you'd want. Didn't want to do that. But yes, you. You could. You could. You could do concessions. If that's. We're talking about something Totally different now. Sure.

[Deborah]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I think only that show had the. The walk around concessions where people had the little Betty Boop trees, as we call them, because we don't know what to.

[Nicole Parker]

That's all we know how to refer to them. Cigars. The.

[Doug]

Like my recording station.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, exactly.

[Nicole Parker]

That's how Doug manages to keep it mobile. He has everything on his cigarette station tray that he Boop style. I think what we should do is you should come to the theater, I'll show you around, I'll introduce you to everybody, show you the ropes, as it were. There are. There are actual ropes and you can actually pull.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that where it comes from? Or does it come from the Navy?

[Nicole Parker]

That sounds more like a navy thing.

[Deborah]

I do have a lot of experience with ropes. I've said. I've said too.

[Nicole Parker]

What did it have to do with the job?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you give us just a little hint of what you've done with ropes?

[Deborah]

I. Okay. You guessed it.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The job. Poison rope.

[Deborah]

Yep. Yeah, I. They're probably gonna fire me because I've talked about it now on a. On a podcast.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know that you have. I mean, did I guess it? What. What are we talking about. About here? It involves rope.

[Deborah]

You know, I. I work customer service for poison ropes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so when people are complaining.

[Nicole Parker]

Poison.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What. What is the chief complaint of poison ropes?

[Deborah]

It's not effective enough.

[Nicole Parker]

She already told you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And this is the idea that people, you. They climb the ropes and the poison gets in like that. Or do you just tie people up or.

[Deborah]

Yes, the company was founded on the idea that, hey, you want to strangle. You want to use ropes for something, perhaps strangling, but you're not so strong. So the poison part is kind of like a backup.

[Nicole Parker]

A backup. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you're not strong enough to strangle them, I don't know that you'll be strong enough to keep them in place. That's the complaint, is that this poison rope is not working fast enough to get him away.

[Nicole Parker]

But that.

[Deborah]

Yeah, So I guess it could be a pro, a product error. But it's. If you were strong enough, then it would be effective, but then you wouldn't

[Paul F. Tompkins]

need the poison, Right?

[Deborah]

That is true.

[Doug]

I was imagining climbing a rope, and then I was seeping in your hand.

[Nicole Parker]

I was thinking a tug of war, a game. A tug of war. Deadly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That. Oh, you do math. Murder, kill so many people.

[Nicole Parker]

Let them do the work.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't like either side.

[Nicole Parker]

They're the ones pulling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good.

[Doug]

Violent scenario.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a good. I hope Those guys are happy.

[Nicole Parker]

Three listeners who want more violent scenarios.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We got three requests for more violent scenarios.

[Nicole Parker]

Sick. They probably use your product.

[Deborah]

Well, so the other thing about the project is that the poison can't be that. That strong through. It's supposed to absorb through skin, but it can't be that potent because then administering the rope, you would also die.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a good point. You can wear. Have to wear gloves. They tell you. You tell people to wear the gloves.

[Deborah]

Well, that's not. That's not something we sell. So we could tell people that, but that's up to them.

[Nicole Parker]

Seems like it'd be an easy access accessory to sell right along with, you know, like the socks. Needed a trampoline.

[Deborah]

Park like a separate fountain.

[Doug]

You could sell a bundle.

[Nicole Parker]

I see. So people have probably died using this product themselves.

[Deborah]

I don't know. I don't hear from them.

[Nicole Parker]

Good point, good point.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Probably not a lot of dead people write in to complain. Complain. Boy, if dead people could complain.

[Doug]

And they probably kept their plan secret so no one else could complain.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

True.

[Nicole Parker]

Good point. True. Good point.

[Doug]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, thank you for sharing that with us. I do hope you get fired because I don't think you should be working for this company.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think you should just quit the point.

[Deborah]

Yeah, I don't feel.

[Nicole Parker]

Get out ahead of it and quit and come to the theater.

[Deborah]

I'm gonna keep working. Okay. I'm gonna keep working there until I decide to quit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, well, you know, there's a.

[Nicole Parker]

Wisdom, I guess. Paychecks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think you should. Your. Your last act there probably should be calling the police and saying there's a business that sells merger implements.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, you might have a severe pay cut going to work in theater. Could I ask. Is it too weird to ask what you make a week doing this?

[Deborah]

I make $400 a week.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. You'll still lose money, but it'll be fine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Deborah, I gotta say, that's not a lot of money.

[Nicole Parker]

It's really, really not everything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really, really everything that's bad about this, I would assume.

[Nicole Parker]

You.

[Deborah]

I like my co workers.

[Nicole Parker]

You're alone. How do you know them?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you guys just in a slack?

[Deborah]

We chat on the slack. Oh, you do?

[Nicole Parker]

You do.

[Deborah]

We do bits on the slack, but

[Nicole Parker]

that you're not afraid of. You're not afraid of doing bits on the slack and having people mad at you. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you give us one bit you do on the slack?

[Nicole Parker]

But wait, I want to hear. What do you. What's different about slack? You said?

[Deborah]

I guess, I guess I feel confident in my place of work.

[Nicole Parker]

Work isn't that interesting. All right, go ahead. Sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bert, can you give us an example of what you and the gang get up to on this la.

[Deborah]

Yeah, we come up with different pitches for what could be poison besides rope.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's fun. Like what? What kind?

[Deborah]

But we have.

[Nicole Parker]

What's the list? Yeah.

[Deborah]

A snake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure, sure. Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Built in.

[Deborah]

Shoelace.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Deborah]

Like a really limp piece of celery.

[Doug]

So you're sort of staying around the rope idea?

[Deborah]

Oh, yeah. I guess. I didn't even think it could be something else. It could be anything, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

It sure could.

[Deborah]

What do you guys think?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A bicycle.

[Deborah]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Bicycle.

[Deborah]

Poison bicycle.

[Nicole Parker]

A poison bicycle. It's on the seat or the handlebars.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everything, the whole thing.

[Deborah]

I gotta tell my co workers. I'll give you credit. I'll give you credit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, you don't have to give me credit. That's fine.

[Nicole Parker]

That's very nice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That could be yours.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Well, we wish you well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We really do. And I. I think you should. You should get out of this job as quickly as possible. I would say apply for a job at the Dignity Falls Playhouse.

[Deborah]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And. And. And. And then as soon as you get a position there, you should absolutely quit the Murder Rope factory.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Deborah]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Deborah]

I would work for free at the. At the theater.

[Nicole Parker]

You basically will.

[Deborah]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How do you hope to sustain yourself?

[Deborah]

I guess I have to keep both jobs then.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no. Listen, we'll figure something out, okay? Just get out of that job, Come to the theater. Well, it's gonna be great.

[Deborah]

Sorry, I should ask. Do you know if the hospital's okay?

[Nicole Parker]

I have not heard anything. Babe, can you check up on the hospital? Can you go to the hospital? Cam, we have a live hospital.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why don't you call them? We do have a life.

[Doug]

Sure, I could call them right now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, turn up the audio on the live hospital.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know. I would suggest calling after. We have a live cam.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's in. It's in the hospital. It's not, you know, just outside? It's in there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I need an update on baby James. Go. No, hon, no, I'm. You can't visit. Sorry. No, there's no printer paper.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We had a cyber attack.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Deborah. Oh, my goodness.

[Deborah]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

Whoa. That's crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dream came true.

[Deborah]

I made this.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you happy or not?

[Deborah]

I don't know. I don't know what these feelings are.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear.

[Deborah]

I can't find my. My coat check slip.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it's okay. Let's give her back her coat.

[Deborah]

No, I should just walk home like this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The only person I met be able

[Nicole Parker]

to identify her coat that sympathetically.

[Doug]

That's, that is too bad.

[Nicole Parker]

Not empathetic.

[Deborah]

I'm gonna walk home like this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, you don't have to walk home.

[Doug]

You can't find it at all.

[Nicole Parker]

Go get your coat. Doug will give it to you.

[Deborah]

I don't want it. It's. I've donated to the show. You can have the wheels.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No,

[Nicole Parker]

we don't need the wheels for the podcast. You're gonna go get it back, okay? Promise me you're gonna go. Gonna go get it back.

[Deborah]

What's that?

[Doug]

That's my, my little bell.

[Nicole Parker]

That's his little bell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We need a crash

[Nicole Parker]

turn off the hospital live cam. I don't want to listen. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Somebody just yelled flatline at the end.

[Deborah]

What if there was a visitor who could have helped?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, I don't think that that's likely. So try not to feel too bad about it, okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I bet that was not a paper related death.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I'm sure it wasn't.

[Doug]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, Deborah, thank you so much for joining us.

[Deborah]

I'm sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't be. So.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a first. We've never had somebody apologize for being here.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think so. I don't think some of them should have too. For sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I, I, you're a sweet, you're a sweet kid. And I, I, I, I, I.

[Deborah]

33 years.

[Nicole Parker]

I know, but it's a kid to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you work it.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a kid to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At a poison rope for the boys rope company. So. I think that's generous of you, Joan. Okay. But yeah, get, get, get out of that job as quickly as you can.

[Nicole Parker]

Please do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Get yourself to the theater. Get backstage. You know, I think you'd have a much better time. You'd feel better about yourself.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. The security and long time knowledge that you'll always have work in the theater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And as we, as we do Grant for a lot of our guests who have in similar situations, we're going to give you a 20 minute head start before we call the police.

[Deborah]

Okay. I'll, I could.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Get going. Good. Doug.

[Doug]

I agree. Stuff.

[Nicole Parker]

Bring her coat up.

[Doug]

Yeah, I can set the wheels.

[Nicole Parker]

Could help you.

[Doug]

Good as new.

[Deborah]

Okay. I'll just, I'll, I'll let you know where I'll be in 20 minutes.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, you don't have to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't have to.

[Nicole Parker]

Just. Just come to theater at some point once. Once everything is cleared.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. If you don't. If you don't. If you're not taken to jail, come to the theater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll be right back.

[Nicole Parker]

Hey. This is Ramone Prop. Decorative, large wooden axe. Acha decorativa. 5 bucks. Sturdy wooden handle with a large black blade so you can take a look at it. It is big, y'.

[Deborah]

All.

[Nicole Parker]

I want to be very clear. This is a prop. It's a prop you use. Use it for a show. You do not use it to commit an ax murder. Five bucks for props. I know. I know what it looks like. You may not commit an axe murder with this. Thank you,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Land. Welcome back to the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, not land. Burns. Oh, my gosh. Now you're just doing it. Now we know it's a joke. Okay, fine. That was funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's funny. You really, really don't like it? Yeah, I really don't like it.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm learning to be more okay with it because now I'm realizing purpose. Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you mad at me? See, now I feel like. Deborah, I'm not mad at you, okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm.

[Nicole Parker]

I really worry about her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm goofing around. Yeah. She's got.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, what a mysterious person.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want to be worried about her, but I also feel like she's willingly working at a poisoned rope factory and doing customer service. I know, like, trying to help.

[Nicole Parker]

Just the word customer service for that kind of a. Of a business doesn't sound even appropriate.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think it's bold. They have one at all.

[Nicole Parker]

I think it should be a direct line to the police station.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I agree.

[Nicole Parker]

Really wouldn't do anything. I do feel bad for asking her too many questions, but it's an interview. Thank you. Thank you for that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's. Why. That's.

[Nicole Parker]

What did she get. Did she get out okay? Did you give her her coat, Babe did.

[Doug]

Yeah. You should see that thing go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You should.

[Doug]

You should get one.

[Nicole Parker]

A coat with wheels on it.

[Doug]

Yeah. Outdoor coat. You're always.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would I need that? Well, that's true. I am always.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You should see that thing go. It's. The wheels are dragging behind you, Right?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. They're not propelling her, are they?

[Doug]

No, but I feel if you. She really starts running and then kind of lifts her feet, a little, catch

[Nicole Parker]

under it, and it acts like a sail.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

For at least a couple inches.

[Nicole Parker]

Little parasail for a minute.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's what I imagine is that it's little wheels and the thing is just constantly falling over. It's like in the early days, days of luggage, when they tried to put like some little tiny wheels on a regular rectangular suitcase, not a square one.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right.

[Doug]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A parallelogram shaped suitcase.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, let's fight about shapes, guys. Let's not fight about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's not fight about shapes. What is this? Julio Torres? You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Somebody does.

[Nicole Parker]

That's all that matters.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, well, we have time for one more post. Joan, we do have to see the

[Doug]

shape of water monster Julio Torres.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know.

[Doug]

I didn't know his name.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think he had a name.

[Nicole Parker]

Guillermo del Toro, didn't he?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Directoro does have a name.

[Doug]

Is he the monster?

[Nicole Parker]

No, he directed the movie. I'm asking, did you refer to him

[Paul F. Tompkins]

as shape of water monster? The director, She's. Hold on.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you thinking of the director, Guillermo del Toro?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Answer the question.

[Doug]

Only if he played the monster.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He didn't.

[Nicole Parker]

Did not.

[Doug]

Well, I asked about the monster.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And how did you ask him about

[Doug]

it again, if you're the name you mentioned was the shape of water monster?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Believe it or not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So have you been thinking this whole time that the director of that movie also. No.

[Doug]

Only because Joan suggested that I would have been a fool to think of gal. I can't say.

[Nicole Parker]

G. Maybe hungry Gargamel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe hungry for Guillermil apples. I know it's not as seasonal.

[Nicole Parker]

We do love.

[Doug]

I knew what I was asking about, and I know who del Toro is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, but.

[Doug]

But you're asking, so I already knew it wasn't him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Unless.

[Nicole Parker]

Tell you something amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What were you asking me in your mind?

[Doug]

I didn't recognize the name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's not what I asked you. What were you asking me in your mind when I said.

[Nicole Parker]

Now you have to let him answer, Bert. You have to let him answer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want to make sure.

[Doug]

My question is, oh, this is like a Pierce Morgan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When I said, Let me finish, let me finish, let me finish.

[Nicole Parker]

Ah, yes, a little bit. A little bit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When I said the name Julio Torres. Yes. And you asked me and we were talking about shape.

[Doug]

We were talking about arguing about shapes.

[Nicole Parker]

That was before, but yes, that's right.

[Doug]

And you said, who am I, Julio Torres?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you said, is that shape of water monster? Yeah. What were you asking me when you said that is.

[Doug]

Who is that Is the shape of water monster named Julio Torres?

[Nicole Parker]

See, I understood that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what I understood him to be asking. Why was.

[Doug]

Then why did you ask who? Benicio Del Toro.

[Nicole Parker]

Del Toro.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did he get into the decision? No one was asking about.

[Nicole Parker]

No one asked about that. Okay, I am saying. Did you. He. I understand what you were asking, babe, and I'm about to blow your mind right now. A Guillermo did direct that movie, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Secondly, the man who played the monster, his name is Doug. Can you wrap your head around that? Doug Jones. And guess what? He also played the guy with the hands in Pads Labyrinth. And he was also in Hellraiser, which you love. Pans, Labyrinth, and the. The Mummy. What's his name? From Hocus Pocus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Super Zombie man.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I can't remember his name.

[Doug]

He was also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was also on Star Trek.

[Nicole Parker]

Star Trek. First of all, babe, doing it again. What?

[Doug]

My mind is shattered into a million pieces.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I think it's a good thing when. When Doug's mind is shattered, it's a good thing.

[Doug]

You did blow my mind.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep. I knew I would.

[Doug]

However, I wasn't asking who the actor who played the Shape of Water Monster. I was asking if that was the name of the Shape of Water Monster.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, as a third party.

[Nicole Parker]

Clear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As a third party party, Joan was thinking, if I may, that you were mixing up the name.

[Doug]

And that's what frustrates me, because I

[Paul F. Tompkins]

wasn't my time Reclaiming my time. Reclaiming my time.

[Doug]

I was boosting reclaiming my time.

[Nicole Parker]

This could go on forever. Our listeners don't want this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you thought in the Shape of Water, that this fish man, his name was Julio Torres. This creature does not speak.

[Doug]

I didn't.

[Nicole Parker]

Now I need to look it up. If it has a name.

[Doug]

Reclaiming my time.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Doug]

We're so close.

[Nicole Parker]

We can't use that phrase for this. This is too silly.

[Doug]

I did not think that. I asked it.

[Nicole Parker]

I did not think it. I asked it. Therefore you are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you ask it without thinking it? Well, that's.

[Doug]

That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the station. Was that a difference? Means you did think it.

[Doug]

That's why you asked. Maybe true, but I wasn't certain.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You thought there was a possibility that the fish man's name was Julio Torres.

[Doug]

Yes. Now we're getting somewhere else.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Even though he never speaks in the entire film. Have you seen the film?

[Nicole Parker]

He's simply referred to as the amphibian man, the creature, or the ash.

[Doug]

So it could be Julio Torres.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, it could never be Julio Torres.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not. Wasn't. It isn't. And it won't be.

[Nicole Parker]

It'd be incredible if he was, though.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Feels good about IMDb

[Nicole Parker]

oh, my goodness. Is that how he sounded? Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, here's what I. I will. This is a confession that I have to make.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I had seen the movie Hellboy, also directed by Guillermo Dorres, also starring. Did I say Del Torres?

[Nicole Parker]

Guillermo del Toro wasn't going to say anything, but. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The William of the Bull.

[Nicole Parker]

Indeed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And Hellboy features a fish man played by Doug Jones.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so when the shape of water came out, I thought, this is a sort of prequel to Hellboy.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's about a completely different fish man

[Nicole Parker]

with a huge member. That's what everyone was talking about, if you remember that year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Honestly. Remember? I don't remember that. I know. Apparently, I know that they had sex.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And there was a. And we learned. Comments made about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Language. Yes. Sally Hawkins.

[Nicole Parker]

Sally Hawkins, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I don't recall seeing the.

[Nicole Parker]

You didn't. There was just a reference to it. Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She was like, by the way, not

[Nicole Parker]

only is he official, Julio Torres really gave me the horn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He Guillermoed my. Del Toro gave me the horn.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I'm just having fun. You can cut it. I don't care. I don't care. Do you hear me? I don't care.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Will people need to look that up, or do you think they'll get what it means? Gave me the horn.

[Doug]

I think he's got a couple barnacles on it.

[Nicole Parker]

It does. We shouldn't keep going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Barnacles. Because he's underwater. Okay, here. Here is. Here is a man with a post, and I don't know how to feel about it. Okay, this is from Matthew. It says. No punctuation. This sentence just says, hello, ladies. My name is Matthew. I'm 55. I've been single for over 10 years, and I can't take it no more. Nice to meet everybody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Wow. Strawberry.

[Nicole Parker]

That's it. That's the whole thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've been single for a while, and I can't take it no more.

[Nicole Parker]

I can't take it no more. I mean, that's a. That's. That's. You're. He's a blues song, you know, And I. It makes me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. You don't think he's gonna attract Irish vampires?

[Nicole Parker]

That was more of an Irish jig song, wasn't it?

[Doug]

Are you talking about they were vampires,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

but they were attracted by the music?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure. I think that this man Matthew is a vampire. Or is. Is he's being attracted.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't think he's in danger of attracting vampires with this song?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think think he is, but I really. We normally never do this. We normally never knew this. We never knew it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We never knew it.

[Nicole Parker]

We never knew it. We don't normally do it, but we're going to do it now. And the comments are wild because the first one says, I'm also four single and I'd like to have a friend.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm also four.

[Nicole Parker]

It's got to be a typo. The next time, the next one. The next time someone says, have you it F O U r. Nope, it's the number four.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it's right there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm also four, but this is.

[Nicole Parker]

This is from a guy named Omar, so I don't know what's going on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Omar.

[Nicole Parker]

Coming. Omar. And Omar says, I'm four single and I'd like to have a friend.

[Doug]

Karen says, he also says I'm four.

[Nicole Parker]

No, his name was Omar. Karen says, have you considered seeking various relationships, not just romantic ones. Try to build companionship and comrades in various areas. Church, civic groups, hobbies, interest groups, run clubs. It keeps going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jo, did you throw a little sauce?

[Nicole Parker]

I did. I can't say cuz, you know, I still. I still like to throw a little. What's his name from. He did rivalry in, you know. Oh, you. You comrade. Yeah, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hol. You comrade.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm wearing a see through blouse. Are you jealous? You okay? Thank you. Thank you for letting me do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When a man wears a see through, see through shirt, there's something weird about it to me.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course you think that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, there's not a lot of

[Nicole Parker]

see through shirts you hate. You hate see through anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't like see through things.

[Nicole Parker]

You really don't.

[Doug]

It's a lie when you think about it.

[Nicole Parker]

A lie?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

What's the lie?

[Doug]

The see throughness. Because if you walk through it, you're gonna get hit. You know, it's. It's inviting you to.

[Nicole Parker]

But in reference to a shirt. How does that make sense?

[Doug]

Well, if it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Also how is it a lie? You could see. You can see through it. Whatever you're talking.

[Nicole Parker]

He's just talking about when you run into a window.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And that's all he's talking about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's not a lie.

[Nicole Parker]

You saw through it. Anything else?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You saw through it so much you thought it wasn't there. Yeah, that.

[Doug]

That's the lie.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So now Matthew responds to Kathy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think they should be Called Invisible Windows.

[Nicole Parker]

Matthew responds to Karen's suggestion. And I don't think it's not sarcastic, but listen, Karen, thanks for the vital information. I don't know what I would do without you. I'll keep it in mind in the title. Time comes, this might be why he can't find a woman. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, there's no way that's not sarcastic.

[Nicole Parker]

There's no way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Never say to someone sincerely, thanks for the vital information.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know what I would do without you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's.

[Nicole Parker]

Then there are some nice exchanges. Patricia says, hello. Nice to meet you, Matthew. Matthew says, patricia, Hello, Patricia. Nice to meet you. How are you doing today? I think he needs to learn to break up words a little bit because his thoughts are all run on. And I do think that if he. That's how he greets someone on a blind date. Hello, Patricia. How are you? Hi, Patricia. Nice to meet you. How you doing today, Patricia? That would put me off a little.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was that all one?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it was. I'm telling you, this is all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The name that many times he says.

[Nicole Parker]

He says it twice. Hello, Patric. Patricia. Hello, Patricia. Nice to meet you. How are you doing today, Patricia?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hello, Patricia. Yes, I would think that was an alien trying to learn my language.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct, Correct. And then she. Maybe these are both aliens. Because she responds, matthew, I'm doing good. How are you doing today?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole Parker]

And then Paris spelled. Spelled like the Roby and Julie Net version. Just kidding. I was having a little fun. Paris, P A, R, R, I S, S. Meet Jesus. Everything else will fall into place. I guarantee.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Paris, come on.

[Nicole Parker]

Matthew says, paris, first of all, I'm not complaining so much or I'm not hurting so bad that I need a woman so bad that I need to talk to Jesus for help. That's not how it is. Other Jesus is a good help. I didn't ask for Seymour. I didn't click further.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Other Jesus is a good help.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wait, hang on. Other Jesus is a good help and a lot of things, but not. This is not what I'm talking about. At the same in general. I'm the same in general conversation that I'm single. That's all. I think we know why he's single.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Did I tell you?

[Nicole Parker]

Did I not tell you that was crazy.

[Doug]

What He's a little testy about He's a little testy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, he comes out. You know, Obviously, if you had the thought maybe Jesus could solve this problem, you wouldn't first be going on line.

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you at all thought that Jesus was the solution. If you're aware of who Jesus is.

[Nicole Parker]

Also, don't say that. I mean a relationship with Jesus, what does that look like? It's different for everyone. That's not the same as a relationship with a human body here. On. On Earth. That's not the same at all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know if that's what Paris was suggesting. I. I think she was saying, if you meet Jesus, then you will end up with a girlfriend.

[Nicole Parker]

I think Paris is a man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. I apologize for misgendering Paris.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not. It's not. I'm just saying I don't think is a good question. I feel like this is something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why do you think Paris is a man?

[Nicole Parker]

Because, first of all, I wish I could say his last name is as French as it gets. It might as well be Paris Croissant.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But Paris with two Rs.

[Nicole Parker]

But you're right, I don't. Paris with two Rs. You're right. It could be a woman.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. You can sit down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I accept your shipology.

[Nicole Parker]

You didn't need to salute either. That was weird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I like salute.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, fair enough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gotta admit, I'm good at it.

[Deborah]

Look.

[Nicole Parker]

Look, you were. You were.

[Deborah]

It was.

[Nicole Parker]

Honestly, it was crisp. It was crisp. If it was anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me give you one more.

[Nicole Parker]

It went like an arrow stuck in the. In the. In the wall. I just. I don't think that's gonna help Matthew. I can see why he's getting defensive. I'm glad Patricia's there. I hope they're both aliens. I hope that they meet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope they're both aliens.

[Nicole Parker]

Patricia, how are you? Patricia, nice to see you. How are you doing today?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How do you like the Earth food?

[Nicole Parker]

It is crisp.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you find an Earth parking spot suitable to your liking?

[Nicole Parker]

Have you met Jesus?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He is good for the other.

[Nicole Parker]

He is good for the other. Well, Matthew, best of luck. I really hope you find someone. And I hope you don't invade our Earth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, please look kindly upon Earth.

[Nicole Parker]

Please do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Some of us are trying our best. That does it for this episode of the Neighborhood. Listen, we'll be back next week with an all new episode. If you'd like to hear ad free versions of our episodes or gain access to our bonus content, go to cbbworld.com and sign up at the Maximus Tier. And then you get all this great stuff.

[Nicole Parker]

We still don't know what that means.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

CBB World. No, I don't know what it's no idea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope it's not something dirty.

[Nicole Parker]

So do I. What is an unfair prank?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's some of the bonus content they can get?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, we do a lot of wild watch alongs because we talk about movies a lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's true.

[Nicole Parker]

And we decide that if Burton only knows three things about them, we gotta watch it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's true. Lately I've been on a hot streak of knowing more than three things.

[Nicole Parker]

You've been doing good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

You've been doing really good. I'm gonna try to stump you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Also. Also, sometimes we will do a fun date night where we'll go out with. Can't right now because the incident's still happening. What's the situation with the incident?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're. We're okay. We're okay for now.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're holding our own.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he just saluted again. Now that makes me worry. That makes me worry.

[Doug]

We better. Also.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you getting pulled into this burnt?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, I. I listen to the sound when I. When I release the salute.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen to this. Wow.

[Doug]

Is that real, babe? Is that real?

[Nicole Parker]

I thought he was shooting a poison dart.

[Doug]

Wow. I gotta work on that.

[Nicole Parker]

No, it was a very good salute. It almost looked. AI,

[Doug]

his fingers. He got six fingers in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I got tricked by AI.

[Nicole Parker]

He got six fingers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Finger tricked again the other day by AI. Here's the thing. I'm not going to share any photos

[Nicole Parker]

no ever of anything ever again until

[Paul F. Tompkins]

AI is definitely dead and in the ground.

[Deborah]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

It's too depressing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's too depressing.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Why you have to go after cute animals? Why can't those be real for us? Why do you have to do that?

[Deborah]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Train an animal to do that and then take a video of it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what we want. Yes, that's what we want. A real bear jumping on a real trample.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. It can't be that hard.

[Nicole Parker]

Really can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I bet a bear would love to do that if they could get up there.

[Nicole Parker]

Dying to get. Get up there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Put some food on a trampoline.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's make it more accessible, people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Put some food on a trampoline.

[Nicole Parker]

That's how we fight. That's how we fight.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's how we fight.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I saluted. Now you did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was a pretty good one.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you. Goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and me,

[Doug]

Nicole Parker, and me, Brett Morris.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This episode's guest was played by Alex Songsha. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show going. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us.

[Nicole Parker]

Now on each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Nicole Parker]

A whole lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.