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Paul F. Tompkins
Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.
Nicole Parker
And I'm Nicole Parker.
Paul F. Tompkins
On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.
Nicole Parker
Occasionally, we change the names of some
Paul F. Tompkins
streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.
Nicole Parker
And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.
Doug
Listen.
Paul F. Tompkins
Knock, knock.
Nicole Parker
Who's there?
Paul F. Tompkins
Your neighbor.
Nicole Parker
Good. In Dignity Fall, never alone. You've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.
Paul F. Tompkins
We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.
Nicole Parker
We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in to the Neighborhood.
Paul F. Tompkins
Listen. Welcome back to the Neighborhood. Listen. This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its many residents, two of whom are. Are seated right across from each other right this very second. One of them is me. My name is Burt Miapede. I'm the pharmacist in chief here in Dignity Falls. At the Dignity Falls, Missy. Dignity Falls is, and maybe America's premier pharmacy. That's how strongly I feel about it.
Nicole Parker
Wow. Okay. Yeah, you've been really saying that a couple times now, that it is just the. The ultimate pharmacy.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm sorry, who are you?
Nicole Parker
Oh, hi. I'm Joan Pedestrian. I mean, he knew that was a bit, right? Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Also, Bert, I'm not gonna. I'm just. I can' Ignore it the way that you're starting these podcasts right now, and I feel like you're trolling me. You said welcome, and it can't be argued. We could listen to the playback. I don't think Doug can do that. You can't tell me you didn't say welcome.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm going to push back on that.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because I said welcome.
Nicole Parker
So you are aware that you're doing something?
Paul F. Tompkins
I was doing a prank.
Nicole Parker
You were?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I have enough pranks with my boys at home. Welcome. So you said welcome?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Thank you. Why? What are you trying. So what's the option? What's the. What's the objective of. Of this prank? Because you're.
Paul F. Tompkins
You're making me feel crazy now. Yes.
Nicole Parker
Why. Why does that make you happy? See me unhappy?
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm. It's just. I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
Nicole Parker
I am unhappy. Because if I. I didn't want to be rude, you know, but then it was like because you got upset when I would say things like hey, you just said welcome or welcome or galcomer. And then you get hurt. You'd act hurt. And then I think, well, now I'm the bad guy. When really you're doing something on purpose.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. And here's why. It's to teach you a lesson. Oh no.
Nicole Parker
Give me a break. Splain to me.
Paul F. Tompkins
What if I.
Nicole Parker
Is that a thing now? It is. You made it a thing.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was a way to show you how you are treating people who are perhaps differently abled than you're making of
Nicole Parker
this explanation as you're going along. It really feels like that.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, it was just. Clearly I have thought about this for a long time.
Nicole Parker
Real. A long time.
Paul F. Tompkins
How long now? Not like since we've met, but.
Nicole Parker
But you've got to be kidding me, Burns.
Paul F. Tompkins
Since season one.
Nicole Parker
Since season one.
Paul F. Tompkins
And I'm not making this up right on the spot. The reason I'm doing it is because I didn't think that you were a person who would judge people in this way. But I thought, what if she is?
Nicole Parker
Okay, Bernd, the fact that this is your choice, especially your choice. My choice to this point to me, when last episode you revealed to everyone's surprise that you have a twin brother named Turn.
Paul F. Tompkins
We're going to talk about this.
Nicole Parker
Yes, we are going to talk about this. Because you also let it at the very end. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I googled turned me a payday. All that comes up is a skin condition.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you know, he. He pronounces it millipede.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
He doesn't do the traditional.
Nicole Parker
I was looking for the me payday. And by the way, it's a ter. Oh God. Do not Google turned me a payday. You really don't want to.
Paul F. Tompkins
What happens? Skin condition, you said?
Nicole Parker
Yeah. A face burns into your skin.
Paul F. Tompkins
A face. Oh, somebody else's face burns in your skin. That's terrifying.
Nicole Parker
It's painful. First of all, I've never heard of this condition. I know. Well, I never heard of your twin brother. So. Go Fig.
Paul F. Tompkins
Go Fig. We wish Fig all the best.
Nicole Parker
Sorry, we've got a campaign going on right now in town for the. For this gentleman named Fig. His. His real. His full name is Figment. And he is.
Paul F. Tompkins
His best friend is a sea monster.
Nicole Parker
And so it's weird. He's. He's doing a fun run for his imagination.
Paul F. Tompkins
He wants to make the sea monster real.
Nicole Parker
Yes. And he thinks that. I don't know if he raises enough money that we can do that. I'm not sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
Figment, we support you, but we're not going to help.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, go Fig is as far as I'll go.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. Well, everybody say figure out. No one is contributing.
Nicole Parker
Nope.
Paul F. Tompkins
He's the only one in the fun run.
Nicole Parker
What's weird is they spend a lot of money buying the merch because everyone's wearing it. If they could just give the money directly to him. But someone created their own merch for it. It's not going to him at all. The profits are not going to.
Paul F. Tompkins
He is in the red with merch and so it's all going to just pay off. Making the merch.
Nicole Parker
Correct.
Paul F. Tompkins
He's not making a profit.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no. What I was saying is there's some people who've made their own merch and they're just making their own money off of this.
Paul F. Tompkins
Guilty. I've made so much.
Nicole Parker
You made your own merch? What have you made?
Paul F. Tompkins
I made a T shirt that has a Fig Newton and sort of.
Nicole Parker
That has a Fig Newton brand. A picture of a fig Newton.
Paul F. Tompkins
Picture of a fig Newton. No, there's an actual Fig Newton.
Nicole Parker
An actual Fig Newton. So this shirt has an actual Fig Newton on it.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's a little cellophane pocket where we're, you know, on a pocket tee.
Nicole Parker
Did you go Newman's own Newton or did you just do regular Fig Newton?
Paul F. Tompkins
I want classic Fig.
Nicole Parker
You went classic Fig Newton?
Doug
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Have you tried one of those lately?
Paul F. Tompkins
A Fig Newton?
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, I haven't.
Nicole Parker
They taste like they've been left out for days.
Doug
So good.
Paul F. Tompkins
No matter what, no matter.
Nicole Parker
Freshly out of the package. They are like cardboard. It's not a cookie.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not a cookie.
Nicole Parker
It isn't.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not a cookie.
Nicole Parker
It's a Newton.
Paul F. Tompkins
It is a Newton. Specifically, a Fig Newton.
Nicole Parker
A Fig Newton. So.
Paul F. Tompkins
So, you know, I love Newtons across the board. I mean, of course my favorite is fig for sure.
Nicole Parker
Second is Isaac.
Paul F. Tompkins
I can't eat Isaac Newton's anymore now. You know, the sad thing is, is of course Fig Newtons are square.
Nicole Parker
Is that. Is it? First of all, Is that sad? Oh, yes. I thought they were rectangular burnt. It doesn't matter because it's just still a version of a square. Okay. You don't have to look so disappointed in me. Okay. I'm now realizing my mistake. Bernd can't eat square foods. And I thought that maybe it would make a difference that it was a longer square, which we call a rectangle.
Paul F. Tompkins
Usually it's not a rectangle. You don't you. I mean, they're closer to a square.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you're angry about the fact that you think Figs Newtons are a perfect square. I'm gonna push back on that.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's. I'm not saying they're. Joan. I'm not saying they're a perfect square. I never said that. I defy you to comb through the back catalog of this show and hear anytime I said, Fig Newtons are a perfect square.
Nicole Parker
So what you're pushing back to my pushing back is that. Is that a rectangle is basically a square to you because it has right angles.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, all rectangles are squares, but not all squares are rectangles.
Nicole Parker
Right? Oh, boy. This mind vortex. I hate that. I hate that statement. It makes my head hurt.
Doug
It's not true.
Nicole Parker
Oh, babe. This is. First of all, I'm Jo Pedestrian, and I'm the top realtor here in Dignity Falls, and I'm the top local actress. And here. Or not here, rather in a different room, recording, always in a different room, is my husband, Doug. Hey, babe.
Deborah
So.
Nicole Parker
So you. You're. Now he's got his own pushback. What's Doug's pushback?
Doug
I hate to push back on this.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did I have it reversed?
Doug
All squares are rectangles. Not all rectangles are squares.
Nicole Parker
That makes more sense to me. That makes more sense.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are rectangles not. All right, Sorry. I had it reversed.
Nicole Parker
Wait.
Doug
And all of the above are parallelograms.
Nicole Parker
All of the above.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
All right. Hey, babe.
Paul F. Tompkins
Does anyone need to know that it's a bit.
Doug
It's a bit of a rectangle. A fig Newton, but it has small, rounded. Beautiful rounded corners.
Nicole Parker
Beautiful. Gorgeous.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm saying if you saw something like a hanger. If you saw a thing laying nude and unprotected on a table.
Nicole Parker
A nude Newton.
Paul F. Tompkins
Newton.
Nicole Parker
Nude Newton. A fig Newton.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. I think your mind would go to square before it would go to rectangle. What are you laughing at, Doug? I heard you snorted me.
Nicole Parker
I suppose so.
Paul F. Tompkins
Where are you, anyway?
Nicole Parker
Yeah, where are you?
Paul F. Tompkins
Where are you?
Doug
Coat check coach.
Nicole Parker
Really?
Paul F. Tompkins
Is it busy there today?
Nicole Parker
How did you never think of that before? Yeah. How many people we got coming in today?
Doug
Not a lot of people wear coats, but now I'm hoping people do.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you mean across the board? Not a lot of people wear coats. Seems like people that are coming into
Nicole Parker
the house aren't wearing a lot of coats.
Doug
People coming in the house? I guess. Or I don't know.
Nicole Parker
Because I'd love for you to know exactly if we're talking about people coming into the house or people in general?
Doug
I can't.
Nicole Parker
You can'?
Doug
People in, you know, across the world.
Nicole Parker
Okay, so then just say that. So then what you're talking about is the people who come into the house.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do. People who come into the house are not wearing. Are you. Are you saying this is a sort of trend? That people are wearing fewer coats than they usually.
Nicole Parker
I hadn't noticed that.
Paul F. Tompkins
It might be that we less often. I suppose not. Fewer coats usually just wear one.
Nicole Parker
Normally I wear the three, but now I'm down to one.
Paul F. Tompkins
We used to be a three coat town.
Nicole Parker
We were a three coat town. We were proud of it.
Paul F. Tompkins
We were proud of it. We would sneer. People only had one or two coats.
Nicole Parker
Yes. It was a sign of wealth and well being.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Wealth and well being.
Doug
That hits your eyes as healthy.
Nicole Parker
It became a problem when.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, Doug, I. I could tell that that was a little dig at me.
Nicole Parker
I missed it.
Doug
It really wasn't.
Nicole Parker
What was the dig?
Doug
You two are feisty today.
Paul F. Tompkins
I said that a fig Newton hits your eye as a square more than it does as a rectangle. If you were to see a nude. A fig nude tin.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
On the table.
Nicole Parker
How would you even know.
Doug
I would eat it. I would eat it before I.
Nicole Parker
It would just be. It would just be a dollop of, like, fig jam. How would you even be able to recognize.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, we have different ideas. I would squish it with a fig nude.
Nicole Parker
To the towel. Oh, what is a fig Newt. Yes, I would.
Paul F. Tompkins
I would feel like a threat. I would squish it with a towel.
Nicole Parker
I don't. I don't harbor any bugs in my house. I will not tolerate it.
Paul F. Tompkins
You will not be a bug landlord.
Doug
Do you think a nude fig Newton would have a fig leaf over its genitalia?
Nicole Parker
First of all, I have no idea why you're gendering this. This Newton already, because we haven't even gotten. You said his.
Doug
It's.
Nicole Parker
Okay, fine. You got me there. Please tell me what you think. A nude tin is just a Fig
Paul F. Tompkins
Newton ball by itself just sitting on a table.
Nicole Parker
Doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense. You said nude. I've never been alone in a cafe. I'm nude today at the cafe.
Paul F. Tompkins
That doesn't apply to people.
Nicole Parker
Just inanimate cookies. Okay, great.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you. Here's the thing. If you had a grilled cheese sandwich and you. Which I wish I could.
Nicole Parker
I know, I know.
Paul F. Tompkins
If it's. If. If it's not. If it's cut diagonally out of My vision.
Nicole Parker
Out of your vision?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, I can eat it.
Nicole Parker
What? I never knew that. I never knew this stipulation only one.
Paul F. Tompkins
It applies to what is grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Okay, well, here's what I was gonna bring up. Someone just you can tell. Please explain how you.
Doug
If you know it was score.
Paul F. Tompkins
Cause I'm sorry, the body keeps the score.
Nicole Parker
Oh my God. And if you serve me, don't name a trauma book written by a Dutch man. That has nothing to do with trauma.
Paul F. Tompkins
Don't you name a trauma book written by a Dutch man.
Nicole Parker
What I was gonna tell you is that someone just found online a parent hack, which is to take the circular top of a peanut butter jar and it exactly perfectly cuts the crust off of your sandwich and it makes a square sandwich circular. Basically makes an uncrustable. You know what those are, right?
Paul F. Tompkins
How big is this peanut butter jar?
Nicole Parker
Any basic peanut butter. Peanut butter.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, sometimes you're making a little sandwich
Nicole Parker
like a general medium sized one.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think small.
Nicole Parker
I can listen the video now look who's doing it. That was by accident.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'll never believe that joke.
Nicole Parker
Oh, gosh. Listen, I got Springsteen. But it got your attention, didn't it? It did.
Paul F. Tompkins
Springsteen. It did get my attention.
Nicole Parker
That's what you go to.
Paul F. Tompkins
Springsteen.
Nicole Parker
Oh my gosh. It's Sprungstein.
Paul F. Tompkins
Born to run. Ja.
Nicole Parker
Okay, what is happening today? I'm just telling you this might be an amazing discovery for you, Berndt. Not as big as the fact that you have a twin brother, which we're not. I'm not going to ignore it. But you just, you put, you cut the. It's a perfect circ. That just barely takes off the crust and it makes a circle.
Paul F. Tompkins
Circle. I. I push back on. It just barely takes off the crust.
Nicole Parker
I feel like so much pushback today.
Paul F. Tompkins
Something's in the air.
Nicole Parker
I know, but. Okay, so we're getting back to the brother. So you have a brother named Turnt?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
And he lives where again?
Paul F. Tompkins
He lives in New Barn.
Nicole Parker
He lives in new Barn yet right next door to us.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
The neighboring town over.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Where they speak. Sort of like they're Dracula. Sort of like they're from their accent?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, a combination.
Nicole Parker
Do you want the phone? Does he have the accent?
Paul F. Tompkins
I have not spoken to him yet.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
We've just been texting.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
We've exchanged phone numbers. We've been texting.
Nicole Parker
All right.
Paul F. Tompkins
We're planning on meeting up.
Nicole Parker
Well, you are?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
That's also big news. When are you going to meet up?
Paul F. Tompkins
We have not set the date yet? We're trying to. We're comparing calendars and trying to figure it out.
Nicole Parker
Comparing calendars. And how did you discover you were twins?
Paul F. Tompkins
Why did that bear repeating?
Nicole Parker
Well, because I feel like I want to know more about it is why. Like, what has he got going on? What does he do for a living?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, you know he's a farmer.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. And he has a podcast.
Nicole Parker
I know he has a podcast.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. Called Not Only Farmers Only.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Every serves.
Nicole Parker
I think it was Not Only Farmers.
Paul F. Tompkins
Not only Farmers. That sounds better.
Nicole Parker
Well, look, you only talk to him once, so you're gonna have to go back and ask more questions for me because I have a thousand.
Paul F. Tompkins
I will, I will.
Nicole Parker
Are we gonna have them on the podcast eventually?
Paul F. Tompkins
I guess that's up to you guys.
Nicole Parker
I mean, what do you think? Babe?
Doug
I don't really care that much.
Nicole Parker
Babe. You don't care that for this many years that we have known burnt and he has talked about being an only child for so long?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, because I thought for.
Nicole Parker
And also really came hard at me last week because I'm not an only child, saying I couldn't speak to it at all because I did not know.
Paul F. Tompkins
I stand by that.
Nicole Parker
Okay. How do you stand by that? Because you kept us in secret from us. And that's. You know, and I'm. I'm glad that you shared it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Not for that long. I lived as an only child for.
Nicole Parker
I understand that. That's fair. It's fair that you're. It's fair. But I still.
Doug
But I don't think you should have come.
Nicole Parker
I don't think you should have come at me so hard because you knew you were car. You were. You were harboring a secret. Now why don't you care so much about it, Babe?
Doug
I don't know. It didn't seem to matter that much to burn.
Nicole Parker
So is that true?
Doug
You know, with guys like in Friends, like even your best friend, you just don't even really ask them.
Nicole Parker
Guys like in Friends the show or you mean just general? General Guy friends.
Doug
General.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
But that would include the guys on the friends from show.
Nicole Parker
Fair enough.
Doug
Yeah. Would. They were great friends.
Nicole Parker
So what about guy friends? They sure were. I believed it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Constantly asking each other questions.
Doug
You oftentimes just don't know anything about the other one. Boy, you know that you have a good time together.
Nicole Parker
I am realizing that.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know what? That's pretty true, Doug.
Nicole Parker
I will watch the twins.
Paul F. Tompkins
All we need to know about each other. We have a good time.
Nicole Parker
I have watched the twins sit with Their friends, and they don't even say anything, and then they just stare at each other, and all of a sudden they start laughing like someone said something hilarious, and it's very disturbing.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Whereas Jalapeno, my daughter brings girls home and they never stop talking.
Paul F. Tompkins
How is Jaliope? Where is she right now?
Nicole Parker
She's not in Australia anymore.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
She's not making earrings from stolen pill capsules.
Paul F. Tompkins
Great, Great. Two good things right in a row.
Nicole Parker
And she's moved back home, which I'm. I don't know. I'm, like, happy. Slash, unh.
Deborah
About it.
Nicole Parker
How long I have all the children under my roof.
Paul F. Tompkins
I haven't seen.
Nicole Parker
What did you make that face for?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, because I haven't seen her here. When did she move back home?
Nicole Parker
This is new. She moved back home this morning.
Paul F. Tompkins
This morning?
Nicole Parker
Yes. Sure is.
Paul F. Tompkins
Was this a surprise? Did you know this was coming?
Nicole Parker
Well, she kept on. It was weird. On her Instagram, she kept typing, something is coming. And I was like, oh, I thought she was going to now she got a job. And she was like, no, those were for you, Mom. You were supposed to put together this clue. She's a huge swifty. Right? So she was trying to do, like, all sorts of. I don't understand all the Taylor Swift. Like, I guess she showed up in a. In a. In a color dress that was the same color theme as her new album, and everyone was freaking out. I don't understand that stuff. Again, that's something. That's not for me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are you freaking out about that?
Nicole Parker
They were freaking out about it.
Doug
Freaking out.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes, they were. Even Doug confirms it. She was trying to do. She was trying to do something like that, but I was like, oh, honey, I don't. You know, I. I'm not looking for clues anywhere. And so, yeah, she showed up on the doorstep, and she was like, surprise. And she was shocked that I hadn't figured it out.
Paul F. Tompkins
That was this morning.
Nicole Parker
They hadn't pieced it together. Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
So right now I'm scrambling because I. My. I turned her room into my Playbill collection room. And it is. You cannot even get in. It is just.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Because they're not on display. They're just stacked up.
Nicole Parker
They're stacked up.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
And it kind of looks like the town in Wally, you know, just piles and piles of paper. Dusty paper. Do you not remember that movie?
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't remember that.
Nicole Parker
Oh, it was a wonderful movie. Give me the three things that you think you remember from Wall E. I
Paul F. Tompkins
remember a lot from Wally.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you do? But you don't remember that.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't remember the paper stuff.
Nicole Parker
How there's just nothing but trash.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now, we've talked about Wally before. Because we have. I'm trying to remember the musical that he watches over and over again.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes, of course. Hello, Dolly.
Paul F. Tompkins
And it's hello, Dolly. For some reason, I thought it was Singing in the Rain. Maybe because I wished he was watching that instead.
Nicole Parker
Why?
Paul F. Tompkins
I just like it more than hello, Dolly.
Nicole Parker
How. How many times have you seen hello Dolly?
Paul F. Tompkins
Once.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. It's not enough. You'd appreciate it more now.
Paul F. Tompkins
I also don't know if I've seen it.
Nicole Parker
That's what I really think.
Paul F. Tompkins
I must have seen it while a kid.
Nicole Parker
I feel like I could tell that even as you said once he was
Paul F. Tompkins
watching it was hello Dolly with. With Barbra Streisand.
Nicole Parker
Yes. I say Barbra Streisand, and I think so does she. But.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, that's the Streisand effect. There it is, right there.
Nicole Parker
Sorry, was that Sean Connery? No.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, that's not good to do.
Nicole Parker
I don't like that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, let's not do that. Spring season was funnier.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
You will experience a darkness on the edge of town.
Nicole Parker
You're right. It's fun. So she has no place to stay right now, but. So she's in a hotel.
Paul F. Tompkins
She's moving back home, but right now she's at a hotel.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, I said I can't deal with it, babe. I just really, I.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because that one room was unavailable?
Nicole Parker
Yes. Yes. Because we have three rooms under construction. Doug's working on the coat room, the boys are in two separate rooms, and we're housing two of their other friends right now.
Deborah
Who?
Nicole Parker
Bub and Conk.
Paul F. Tompkins
Bub and Conk.
Nicole Parker
Bub and Conk. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow. Okay. Wait.
Nicole Parker
What?
Paul F. Tompkins
They didn't used to be in the grocery boys, did they?
Nicole Parker
Allegedly. Okay, you can't prove it. I'm trying to do a Scared Straight situation with them.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, wow. Okay. How's that going? What are your methods?
Nicole Parker
I kind of like it because it's just. I'm playing a role. Do you know what I mean?
Paul F. Tompkins
Of course.
Nicole Parker
I get in a uniform, I kick their door down in the morning, I scream in their face one by one.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are they all in separate rooms?
Deborah
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Certainly the third guy would say, oh,
Nicole Parker
no, it's just Bub and Conk. But they're in. They have a Jack and Jill.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, you're only trying to scare them.
Nicole Parker
They only. Oh, yeah, I've already tried it with my boys. They don't care. They don't care. Well, I'm hoping that they'll learn by example. Do you know what I mean? I'm hoping that they'll watch them transform and make something of themselves.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right?
Nicole Parker
I'm talking. I'm talking. When I talk about my boys, I'm talking about my twin boys, Matt and Robert the Impaler. Robert the Impaler, Yeah. So there's just. Right now, I was just said to Jelly, be. I can't. I just can't. Do you know what I mean? How you're just like, I can't.
Paul F. Tompkins
I can't.
Nicole Parker
I just can't.
Paul F. Tompkins
I just can't.
Nicole Parker
And I said, you're gonna. You're gonna be happier anyways. It's so loud here right now. And. And now you'll be in a hotel room and you can, you know, just get some rest and we'll talk about what we're gonna do with her. I don't know, on the weekend or something. I'll figure something out.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, this explains something, because I. I'm in Jalape's close friends on Instagram.
Nicole Parker
Really? You are?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
What does that mean, close friends? How do you determine if you're a close friend on Instagram?
Paul F. Tompkins
Somebody puts you in their. Their close friends category and you get the green, you know, bubble.
Nicole Parker
I don't know this at all.
Paul F. Tompkins
Green circle.
Nicole Parker
I guess I don't have any close friends on Instagram. Never seen that before. Green star. Well, I don't know what that is.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sorry about that.
Nicole Parker
Okay, is this, like, Am I the only one? Am I the only one?
Paul F. Tompkins
I assumed.
Nicole Parker
Am I the only one?
Paul F. Tompkins
The only one? What?
Nicole Parker
Yeah, my nude on Instagram. Do you understand what I'm asking?
Paul F. Tompkins
Are you the only person on Instagram,
Nicole Parker
the only one without a friend? Without a good friend?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, you. Well, I mean, either you put people in that category, they put you in that category.
Nicole Parker
I didn't know it was supposed to be between you.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's close friends, not good friends,
Nicole Parker
and
Paul F. Tompkins
you don't have to do it.
Nicole Parker
And. And so what is it? What's the use of it? What's. What's it for?
Paul F. Tompkins
I think the use is when you want to say something that's not for the public consumption of everybody, but just people you actually maybe know.
Nicole Parker
Okay, so then you're seeing posts from a July IP that. I am not, is what you're telling me, because she hasn't good friended me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, I guess I am. I didn't realize.
Nicole Parker
Okay, so then why does this make sense? What has she been posting or sending you or DMing you? This is weird.
Paul F. Tompkins
My mom's acting like a real baby. What?
Nicole Parker
Are you serious? And what do you say, Burns?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, I don't respond to that. I'm not gonna get mixed up in that.
Nicole Parker
You don't defend me.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know what I love.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's an answer. Well, I don't get mixed up in it. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You say. Don't say that about your mom. She loves you. She works very hard.
Paul F. Tompkins
Be sure what the B stands for. Joan.
Nicole Parker
Oh, give me a break. Then why did you want to get involved? Why didn't you ask for clarity?
Paul F. Tompkins
Because it's none of my business.
Nicole Parker
It is your business because I am your friend. I'm your good friend. Where's my green star?
Paul F. Tompkins
The star is white. To be fair, it's. It's a circle.
Nicole Parker
I thought it was.
Deborah
Oh, my God.
Nicole Parker
You're confusing me.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't mean to.
Nicole Parker
Do you have good friends on Instagram, Doug?
Doug
Oh, yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, Tony's got to be on there.
Doug
Oh, of course.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Doug
Mutuals.
Nicole Parker
So, anything else? Other than the fact that she called me a B and you said nothing?
Paul F. Tompkins
She said it every day for a while now.
Nicole Parker
What?
Doug
You came down on her pretty hard.
Nicole Parker
Definitely time for you to intervene. My goodness. And let me know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Family issue. I can't get it mixed up in that.
Nicole Parker
You're in my house more often than she is.
Doug
JP got a tattoo.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, no.
Doug
And it's of the same mole that Taylor Swift has. And Joan came down on her pretty hard.
Nicole Parker
Well, it's infected. She didn't take care of it.
Paul F. Tompkins
God. So it looks like an infected mole.
Nicole Parker
It almost looks like a. Like a. Turn me a payday. I'll tell you what. What do you mean it almost looks like it has a face on it? Because the in the infection has gotten so bad. Did you forget you took.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, I forgot that you turned my brother's name into an effective.
Nicole Parker
I didn't. My twin scientist did take it up with a dermatologist. It's not.
Paul F. Tompkins
I will not.
Nicole Parker
I didn't do that.
Paul F. Tompkins
I will not talk to a dermatologist. I never have, and I never will.
Nicole Parker
Why is that?
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, it's a scam. Your skin's fine.
Nicole Parker
It's not burnt. What are you talking about?
Doug
You think I can't see my skin?
Nicole Parker
Three things I want you to get checked immediately. That one mole looks like a skyscraper.
Paul F. Tompkins
Thank you.
Nicole Parker
It's not a compliment.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's several moles that are joining together.
Nicole Parker
That Sounds like a problem together.
Paul F. Tompkins
What are you gonna say first?
Nicole Parker
I honestly don't remember. It's feminine overdrive. I could not tell you.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's too bad.
Nicole Parker
I could not tell you. What? I couldn't tell you what I said two seconds ago. Two minutes ago. Two years ago. Unless it was a line in a play, which I've never forgotten.
Paul F. Tompkins
Years ago.
Nicole Parker
Two years ago. Two years ago, I said. And coffee and waking up. That's what I said. Two years ago, I played Emily Webb in Our Town. They flipped it ages.
Paul F. Tompkins
And she wants coffee and she wants waking up.
Nicole Parker
She misses the smell of coffee and waking up because she's dead now.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, right. I always forget that. That's part of it.
Nicole Parker
How do you forget? Like, the whole thing?
Paul F. Tompkins
I hate that play.
Nicole Parker
Oh, it's about our human nature. It's timeless.
Paul F. Tompkins
What is the stage manager doing there? Get out of here.
Nicole Parker
I've talked about this before. Right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Backstage.
Nicole Parker
He's the narrator, but it's also very, you know, raider in there because it's. He's. He's. He's setting the stage. He is the stage manager and the narrator.
Paul F. Tompkins
We're.
Nicole Parker
He's letting us know we're seeing a play. We're seeing a play.
Paul F. Tompkins
I want to say to our town.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Our Town. I hope you're listening.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'll come back when you're ready.
Nicole Parker
Beloved's classic play. Someone's about to read you for filth.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'll come back when you're ready. Ready?
Nicole Parker
That's what you're saying?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
I'll come back when you're ready. What's that mean?
Paul F. Tompkins
That means if I'm sitting down, I get ready to watch a play.
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
I have my playbill. I. Maybe I'm thinking about the gin and tonic I'll have at the interval. And a guy comes out at the beginning of the play and says, he's the stage manager. I say, I'll come back when you're ready.
Nicole Parker
But here's the thing. Does everybody on this planet know what a stage manager means? No. And it was new to a lot of people, that phrase. And I think it immediately hooked them in.
Paul F. Tompkins
It shouldn't have been introduced to them.
Nicole Parker
I think what bothered you is that there were. There's no props and there's no furniture, and there's nothing.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'll come back when you're also.
Nicole Parker
We tried when we did that at Dignity Falls Playhouse. We tried to do that too. You would go get a drink at intermission and the bartender would just mime, handing You a glass and stir it. And everyone. A lot of people were into it. They, like, drank their fake. Fake drinks. But you can't give into the magic of theater.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, I'm. There's the magic of theater, and then there's the. You know, this is as far as I got.
Nicole Parker
Well, Thornton Wilder, I hope you're listening that.
Paul F. Tompkins
I hope you're listening in hell.
Nicole Parker
That is too much. That is.
Paul F. Tompkins
I hope he's in hell.
Nicole Parker
I think it's unequivocally beloved as a piece. I think you're really on the wrong side of history on this.
Doug
Do either of you have a jacket on or a coat?
Paul F. Tompkins
Why are you asking, Doug?
Doug
Because I'd like to check it. I want to test them.
Nicole Parker
Are you that desperate? Test some things. Like what?
Doug
Well, there's kind of a conveyor belt.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no. You're not doing, like, a dry cleaning.
Doug
Yeah, like. And I have a.
Paul F. Tompkins
How many? That's. You're never gonna get that many.
Nicole Parker
He just wanted to. He loves that because he loves. He says it's a roller coaster. Clothes. And he loves it.
Paul F. Tompkins
He loves it on the clothes behalf.
Nicole Parker
He's even got a loop de loop going.
Paul F. Tompkins
I wouldn't like that.
Nicole Parker
It has to travel at a lot of speed.
Paul F. Tompkins
What if my scar falls out of my pocket?
Doug
I have the VIP coat hanger.
Nicole Parker
Which is what?
Doug
Kind of like, you know, when you go to a. Like a club or something, they park, like, the nicest cars out front.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Is that what they do? Didn't know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, they do it at the Dignity Fall. Soho House, for sure.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yeah.
Doug
They have some great Ford foundations.
Nicole Parker
Which is not. It's. It's not at all anything to write home about, you know, as opposed to, like, the other places are like, please take pictures in here.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Nicole Parker
Because no one's aware of it.
Doug
But so it's like. It's just presented. So people are like, wow, that guy's coat.
Nicole Parker
So you just got a coat that you find.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know if I've ever been in a. In a situation where I've checked a coat and saw somebody else's coat hanging up there. Like, wow.
Nicole Parker
I aspire to that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Could you put my coat out of sight? I'm embarrassed.
Nicole Parker
I don't have a coat that would make it into VIP section. I don't think that I've got on me. But I have this raincoat. I got this because the boys wanted it. It's. It's that subway thing. It's the pickle coat. You know what I'm Talking about?
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm gonna say no, I don't. It's the Subway thing. The pickle coat.
Nicole Parker
It's an actual coat with. With. With see through plastic lining. And inside is actual pickles in pickle juice. Please don't be mad. Listen, Remember last year when I told you. When I. When I told you that blue diamond was coming out with. With a cherry slushy almond and you didn't believe me, and then Doug looked it up and it was worse than we could ever imagine?
Paul F. Tompkins
I think. I didn't.
Nicole Parker
This is real.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. I didn't believe you because I couldn't understand why that would happen.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I couldn't wrap my mind around. I still can't.
Nicole Parker
I understand, and I could be wrong, that it's connected to Subway, but I know it's a thing that they're selling,
Paul F. Tompkins
but it can't be real pickles.
Nicole Parker
It is real pickles.
Doug
Oh, it's kfc.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's, you know, known for their secret Subway.
Paul F. Tompkins
I would have got pickles some way.
Nicole Parker
I could see all the secret ingredients they put on their pickles, the herbs and spices.
Doug
Oh, they're sliced pickles.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, that's what I assumed.
Nicole Parker
I thought they were full pickles.
Doug
I was assuming whole coasters.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wait.
Paul F. Tompkins
I guess that would be such a bulky coat.
Nicole Parker
When I look at them, they're all just sliced.
Paul F. Tompkins
They're such a bulky coat.
Nicole Parker
I guess so. Wouldn't be that much less bulky if they're sliced. I mean, yes, it would be obnoxious.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm not supporting the coat in any
Nicole Parker
way, but I do have to say the weirdest thing.
Paul F. Tompkins
I do have to say it is demonstrably less bulky if it's sliced.
Nicole Parker
Okay. But I have to know, babe, what do you think? You love it, right?
Doug
I. I'm.
Nicole Parker
He's mesmerized.
Doug
I love it. I've never seen anything like that. It has two sort of drainage spouts so you can empty.
Nicole Parker
No one wants to go with a
Paul F. Tompkins
drainage spout so you can empty it. You don't have. You can leave it in there forever.
Doug
But it looks like if you use those spouts, it would just drain all the pickle juice. And then you just have loose, limp pickles. Loose pickles in there.
Paul F. Tompkins
They all fall to the bottom of the coat.
Nicole Parker
Well, but I think they have separate compartments all along. Right? You know how, like.
Doug
Yeah, they're like rows, like ribbed.
Paul F. Tompkins
This shouldn't be happening.
Doug
Why?
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean, this is where we're at now.
Doug
Done. Everything else now.
Nicole Parker
Now. Now. What do you think of our town, huh?
Paul F. Tompkins
Done everything else.
Nicole Parker
Now what do you think of our town? Burnt.
Paul F. Tompkins
I hate it.
Nicole Parker
It so bad. Does it?
Paul F. Tompkins
It does. It still does.
Nicole Parker
Okay, fine. Have we been talking long enough, babe?
Doug
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
An immediate response.
Paul F. Tompkins
We'll be right back. Neighborhood list of returns.
Nicole Parker
Hi, everyone. It's Nicole. How are you? Look, lately I've been more intentional about what I wear from the day to day. Because here's the thing. I do a lot of podcasts, so sometimes I don't think it matters what I wear. But I think Paul and Brett notice when I wear the same outfit. Maybe back to back. Don't. Don't tell them I told you that. And don't say anything. But I learned that I should be leaning into pieces that feel effortless and comfortable, but still put together. Cause it just makes getting dressed simpler to have go tos. And Quince is my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are flattering, and everything just works without overthinking it. And here's the thing. Quince makes it easy to refresh your everyday spring with pieces that feel as good as they look because they use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops start at $30. They are effortless, effortless, breathable, and easy to wear on repeat, which I like. Everything at Quint's is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality and craftsmanship. No brand markup. Now, here's the thing. I've mentioned that I've gotten sunglasses. I've mentioned that I've gotten a great shirt. I've clothes for myself. I've gotten amazing pants for my kid, who is very active. And those pants hold up, baby. But you know what? But summer is coming and I didn't even realize Quince has bathing suits. Did you know this? I didn't know this. I didn't know this. No one told me. Why did no one tell me? It's fine. It's okay. I'm all right. But I just got a one piece. Sorry, I had to swallow. Cause I got so worked up. I just got a one piece Italian cut. And it is so cute. Swimsuit. And it is so cute. I love it. And I would really encourage you to go look at them. Because bathing suits be expensive, y'. All. They are expensive. These are very affordable. I can't recommend them enough. So refresh your everyday with luxury. You'll actually use head to Quince.com TNL for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com TNL for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com TNL
Paul F. Tompkins
this is Julietta free desk blotter set. 2025 parentheses ran out of time close parentheses. Includes a large calendar and sticky notes. Perfect for organizing your desk. You can still use the cute little post its and the notes for this. Now, it is a year out of date. But what you do is all you have to do is take one look at a 2026 calendar and then when you're using this desk plotter calendar set, you just mentally go forward a day. I think that's how it works. So if it's. If it's, if it's. If It's. If it's June 6th, then okay, if June. I don't know what day June 6th is this year. Let me. Okay, if it's June 6th in 2026, then you say. But.
Deborah
No, if.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, so let's say last year June 6th was a Friday. And then you say it's 2026. Now it's on a Saturday. Because the, the days move. Is that how it works? The days move forward one at a time? I mean, all at once? But. But you, but you. But you. Is there. Was there a leap year? I don't recall if there was a leap year. There was not a leap year. So, okay, so then, yes, you just go forward. So for each time that you look at it, you say it's actually, it's a day later than I think and it's just that simple. And as a reminder, you can still use the cute little post its and the notes for this.
Nicole Parker
It's free. When.
Paul F. Tompkins
Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen.
Nicole Parker
Okay, now, but this time I know you did it on prompt. Okay, what was that at hw.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
When? And a d at the end.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Fun. Wait, was it just then? It was. It doesn't matter when.
Paul F. Tompkins
We are back with a guest right here at the kitchen island. Now what we do, folks, every week, we call them the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods. We look for interesting neighbors to talk to, people that maybe they want to amplify their story, maybe they want to ask a question, maybe they have something to answer for. And if you see a post you think we should talk about, why don't you screenshot it and send it to us@burtonandjoanmail.com like Kristen Rudy. Kristen Rudy. Thank you for alerting us to this post. This comes from Deborah. This is in the crime and safety section. Deborah writes, did something happen to the Dignity Falls Hospital? I just had a terrible dream.
Nicole Parker
Oh, my.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. Very dramatic. And here to tell us about this dream is Deborah. Deborah, welcome to the neighborhood.
Deborah
Listen, hi. No, I'm sorry. You're here to. I'm here to be confronted by you. Right. For what I wrote. For what I did.
Nicole Parker
What? No, wait.
Paul F. Tompkins
Not necessarily.
Nicole Parker
I mean, why would you think.
Deborah
Sorry.
Nicole Parker
Why would you think that?
Deborah
I didn't seem like there was anything else to think, really. It seemed like the logical conclusion to be invited here is to be confronted.
Nicole Parker
I'm guessing this dream has you spooked.
Deborah
I. Yes. Not more spooked than any other day, but definitely spooked. Also, sorry for the way I'm dressed. There was a coat check, but I wasn't wearing a coat, so I just gave what I had.
Paul F. Tompkins
You felt compelled to give it?
Nicole Parker
Babe, you shouldn't have let her give you her. I mean. Yes, because now.
Doug
What is this exactly?
Nicole Parker
You're just in a slip and I feel bad.
Deborah
That's my outdoor dress. That's what I wear to go outside.
Nicole Parker
Oh, all right. What? So is that kind of like a muumu or like a.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know, like a house coat?
Deborah
Yeah, it's the opposite of a moomoo, actually.
Nicole Parker
I guess so. I guess it is. Most people wear those inside. I don't know. That's true. I guess that's on me.
Paul F. Tompkins
They are indoor, outdoor. A lot of clothes are indoor. Outdoor.
Deborah
So it just keeps this ticket. I keep this ticket.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
You don't have to. Don't worry.
Doug
Don't lose it.
Nicole Parker
Don't charge it.
Doug
Don't lose that charging.
Deborah
I don't have a pocket on my slip.
Doug
Lose that ticket.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, no. Well, a pocket was a slip with pockets for the ladies.
Nicole Parker
Refreshing to see someone wear a slip. I. I'm. It's so old fashioned. I love a slip.
Doug
This is cool, this dress. I guess it's supposed to drag behind you because it has, like, outdoor wheels on it.
Deborah
Oh.
Nicole Parker
What?
Deborah
I thought you were supposed to put it away.
Nicole Parker
I love it has wheels on it, like along the back, like on a. Like a train.
Doug
Oh, I'll put it away. I just.
Nicole Parker
I am allowed the train of, like, a dress. And then there's wheels. Wheels?
Doug
Yeah, for outdoors, so it doesn't get muddy and stuff.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay. I'm assuming there's other ways to keep it not muddy. I Mean, you could just make it. Not as long. But there's wheels on it.
Deborah
That is what it's for. I didn't. I didn't know the rules of code. Check that you're allowed to play with it for.
Doug
Yeah, I am. If you read the. If you read the back of the ticket, it says I'm allowed to play with it.
Deborah
It does say that.
Doug
And I can go through the pockets.
Nicole Parker
You put a sign up saying you're allowed to play with people's clothes just to protect us. Oh.
Doug
From any, you know, liability. No.
Nicole Parker
Let me guess. You're putting it on and doing, like, a little accent and a little character.
Paul F. Tompkins
I know you. Are you doing that?
Deborah
That's all on the ticket. It is handwritten on the ticket.
Nicole Parker
But it does say that you hand write the tickets. My gosh, this is going to take you forever.
Doug
Personal touch.
Nicole Parker
All right. Sorry about that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can we ask you.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
About your dream.
Deborah
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And why did you think we were. You were going to be confronted?
Deborah
I. I just. I. That. That was the first time I've posted on the app.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right. Wow.
Deborah
I. I'm. I was scared to make an account for a long time because I assume everybody's mad at me on there and talking about me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why. Why would you think that?
Deborah
I don't know. Am I. Am I wrong?
Nicole Parker
No, Deborah, you're not. You. You are wrong, but you're not wrong either, for sure. I understand that. That feeling. I'm a little wary of social media myself. I have a sense sometimes that everyone's mad at me, and a lot of times here on my podcast, people are. But that's sort of bled into the rest of my life. But I also wonder, burnt, if her dream has something to do with also why she's thinking, we're going to be mad at you. Does it have anything to do with that?
Deborah
I feel like a lot of ideas were put forward and I tried my best to follow along.
Nicole Parker
I'm sure you did great. Sometimes I ask too many questions. I'm really sorry about that. That's a. That's a fair note. Thank you.
Deborah
No, no, I would never note you. I would never come to your home.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely. Okay. You can know me. I'm an actress. I'm used to getting notes, trust me. Might not agree with them, but I try to listen. So let's just start simply. Tell us what your dream is about.
Deborah
That it was. It was pretty bad. So you know the Dignity Falls Hospital.
Nicole Parker
Right.
Deborah
I woke up and I had just had a dream that they ran out of printer Paper for all the visitor badges. And I woke up in a sweat. And I was like, I have to download the neighbor app, neighborhood app. And then I'll post about it, and then hopefully somebody can tell me that that didn't actually happen. But right after I posted, I was like, oh, God, now everybody's going to be mad at me. That didn't actually happen.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, to recap, your terrible dream about the Dignity Falls Hospital was that they ran out of printer paper and wouldn't be able to print the visitor badges. Visitor badges. And you thought that if you posted about that, everybody would be mad that that didn't happen? Well, you thought you would cause a panic.
Deborah
I guess if it hadn't happened, then everybody would be mad that I had caused a panic. And if I. If it had happened, then maybe I had caused it with my dream. And. And. Or if I.
Nicole Parker
You caused it with your dream? Explain that. How.
Deborah
How what.
Nicole Parker
What made you worry about that?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well.
Deborah
Cause after I was panicking about, oh, maybe it didn't happen, and I worried everybody, for no reason, I found myself hoping that it had happened. And. And that's not very good.
Paul F. Tompkins
Just so that your dream would not be false.
Deborah
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I see. I didn't know if there was a precedent for you having another dream about something and then you had made it happen.
Paul F. Tompkins
That leads me to my next question.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Which is? Have you had a. A sit where at least once something you dreamed came true?
Deborah
Yes. One day when I was very young, I dreamt that my whole family had left. And then when I woke up, it was true.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no. What?
Paul F. Tompkins
Your whole family? How old were you were a little kid.
Deborah
But then they came back. They came? But they were just. They went to church without me that morning.
Nicole Parker
Oh, good heavens. Okay. Okay. That was. So you can understand why we thought you meant something else. I see. Okay.
Deborah
It was a.
Nicole Parker
It was just very unlucky timing is what we're talking about.
Deborah
Those few minutes I woke up, the service was already done, so they were back within a few minutes.
Nicole Parker
But I just seem really torturous. Thank goodness they came back so soon. Okay, so do you. How old are you now?
Deborah
I'm 33 years old.
Nicole Parker
Okay. And can I ask what you do for a living here in Digby Falls?
Deborah
I work remotely.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you do? Okay.
Deborah
For a company, that does nothing bad.
Paul F. Tompkins
Deborah, I. I have to say, that does sound.
Nicole Parker
That's the response.
Paul F. Tompkins
That kind of sounds a little suspicious.
Nicole Parker
I have to agree. Could you. Could you elaborate anymore?
Deborah
I'm thinking about quitting.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why is that.
Deborah
Because I'm not positive it's nothing bad.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I see.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
What do you do at this place?
Deborah
I do customer service. Okay.
Nicole Parker
Right.
Deborah
But only, like, typing, like, chatting, like, not on. Not on the online assistant.
Nicole Parker
Got it.
Deborah
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. Now what. What are some of the typical complaints you receive? If you want to keep it vague,
Deborah
the product was not effective enough.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Could be so many things.
Paul F. Tompkins
Not effective enough.
Nicole Parker
Enough.
Paul F. Tompkins
So it's somewhat effective, just not as much as people would like.
Deborah
That's what I try to respond, so.
Nicole Parker
Well, you'd be good at this, Jobbert.
Deborah
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Are you looking because you had a
Deborah
good instinct I might quit, and then that's what she does for you, so.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, I already have a job, but thank you very much. Can you give us a hint as to what the product might be?
Nicole Parker
What category?
Paul F. Tompkins
Almost effective.
Nicole Parker
But is this medicine? Is it a kitchen appliance?
Deborah
Kind of the opposite of medicine.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh.
Nicole Parker
This is what I was worried about.
Paul F. Tompkins
Poison.
Deborah
It's not poison. Oh.
Nicole Parker
The only thing worse was her saying, it's not. Not poison.
Deborah
Like, poison is a. Is a. Slow. Is a slower.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Deborah
Anyways.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no, not slower.
Paul F. Tompkins
Something Faster than poison.
Deborah
Faster than poison is this. I might quit, though.
Nicole Parker
Okay. I mean, I might agree with you that you should,
Paul F. Tompkins
rather than fielding complaints from murderers all day.
Deborah
I didn't say. No, you didn't, because it's not that effective. It's somewhat effective.
Nicole Parker
Oh. And now it's exciting to hear about what is the person who has ingested this and it's not effective enough. What has that leave that person. That's concerning.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, that's why I think it's murderous. Because I think they're trying to kill people.
Nicole Parker
It's what it sounds like.
Paul F. Tompkins
But it's faster than poison.
Nicole Parker
It's faster than poison. So then what do they mean that they're. Could you expand on their. It's not effective enough.
Deborah
No one's ingesting anything.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Deborah
I guess what I would argue with effectiveness is that it's human error. That's. Well, I guess it would depend on what you define, how you define error.
Paul F. Tompkins
Just so. Just so you know, Deborah, and this is so you won't feel confronted, we pledge that we will not ask you directly what the company is and what the product is.
Deborah
No, you can. You can confront me. I should be held accountable. That's what this is, right?
Nicole Parker
No, again, this is just a podcast where we talk about. We get to know our neighbors better.
Deborah
Okay. So I'll be judged by a jury of my peers that your audience should
Nicole Parker
it come to that, I can't speak to if our listeners are going to judge you or not, but we are here to ask questions. Usually what we're trying to do is help someone amplify their message.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Deborah
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Now, in this case, I'm not quite sure what the message is. Let's go back really quickly because I very want much want to know more about this.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Mystery product, but did anyone reply to your post about your dream, like to answer you about what was going on with the hospital?
Deborah
I haven't opened the app since.
Nicole Parker
You haven't?
Deborah
I was scared.
Paul F. Tompkins
You asked a question.
Deborah
Let me double.
Paul F. Tompkins
You asked a question. Did anything happen? I had something happen.
Deborah
I did ask a question. Yeah. I guess I didn't want to know the answer.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did you. So you didn't even do any investigation? You didn't, like, call the hospital and say, how are you fixed for.
Deborah
So I am at fault because I didn't follow up. I could have called the hospital. I could have done something.
Nicole Parker
I think that you're more worried about being at fault for a fictional dream than you are about hawking products that kill people.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. I think you could let yourself off the hook for this dream.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. I think you're getting too worked up about that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Because you have control over it.
Paul F. Tompkins
We control our dreams. Unless you get into that lucid dreaming that people say they do.
Nicole Parker
Yes, but then what is actually. What are you really doing then? I mean, it's still just a brain trick.
Paul F. Tompkins
You're saying, like, I feel like flying now and then you fly.
Nicole Parker
Right. But how does that affect anyone in real life?
Deborah
Life?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, I guess if you're Freddy Krueger.
Nicole Parker
Not again, babe. What did you say you love? You said dreaming. You did his voice on a episode recently, and it was horrifying.
Paul F. Tompkins
I forgot about that.
Nicole Parker
It was all too accurate. If they're.
Doug
If she's sleepwalking while dreaming, maybe that. Yeah, this could be at fault.
Deborah
I really relate to Freddy Krueger.
Nicole Parker
Oh, how so?
Paul F. Tompkins
Just I think it's a tricky phrase.
Nicole Parker
It sure is. That's a. That's a tricky turn of phrase.
Deborah
Oh, what, that I relate to Freddy Krueger?
Nicole Parker
Yeah, that's the one. That's the one.
Doug
I like this. Fred. Fred.
Deborah
Oh, it's not Fred. It's. It's just Fred.
Nicole Parker
Are you. Are you less upset by Fred? This is Fred Krueger.
Paul F. Tompkins
Fred Krueger. Fred.
Nicole Parker
Sounds like Frederick Krueger. Sounds like your friend's dad.
Doug
Freddy's kind of, you know, fun.
Paul F. Tompkins
I will take that I'll take down. That. They take that down to Fred Krueger, see what he has to say about it.
Nicole Parker
Okay, so how do you relate to Freddy Krueger?
Deborah
Just, what if. What if that's me?
Paul F. Tompkins
You know, what if that's me? What do you mean?
Deborah
Like, what if that's me? You know when you worry that.
Nicole Parker
You're worried that you're appearing in other people's dreams and killing them?
Deborah
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
You're worried that a bunch of children are gonna burn you alive?
Deborah
Like, you know when you watch a movie and there's a bad guy and you're like, what if that's me?
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know that I've had that particular sensation.
Nicole Parker
No, no.
Paul F. Tompkins
Has this happened with other movies?
Deborah
Almost every movie.
Nicole Parker
Almost every movie. What if it's a good movie where there's no bad guys? Guys.
Deborah
Okay, name one.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, I'm interested, too. The movie with no bad guys.
Nicole Parker
Marvin's Room.
Deborah
What's. How does that one.
Nicole Parker
It's just Diane Keaton and Meryl Streep going through. One's going through a divorce, one's going through cancer, and Leonardo DiCaprio is the son, and they just talk about life.
Paul F. Tompkins
I say, the bad guys, cancer.
Deborah
And.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Deborah
And I'm like, well, what if I'm the cancer now?
Nicole Parker
Come on. That doesn't make sense. Not like the other things did, but that really doesn't make sense.
Paul F. Tompkins
But when you.
Nicole Parker
Okay, I'm glad I used that example, because.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Began as a play. Look it up.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm good. And. And. And so you. When you see Freddy Krueger on screen and you say, what if that's me? Do you think, oh, no. What if I am murdering people in their dreams? That's. That's what you're thinking?
Deborah
I think that. I think, like, what if. What if I understand him too much?
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you feel like you have empathy for Freddy Krueger in the movie? Movies?
Deborah
Is empathy, like, when you're like, I understand everything he's thinking,
Paul F. Tompkins
or that. Would that be sympathy? Is sympathy the one where you've had the same experiences, you've had the same feelings?
Nicole Parker
I feel like they're so similar, it gets a. It gets very hard to actually determine it.
Paul F. Tompkins
But I. I always thought of empathy as a thing where you understand the human condition.
Nicole Parker
So you might not agree with it, but you can empathize.
Paul F. Tompkins
You can see somebody going through a hard time and saying, I understand. Y. I get it.
Doug
But you don't feel bad. Sympathy is when you feel bad.
Nicole Parker
Maybe that's a Good sort of crude way of describing it, I suppose.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think empathy is just like, I get it, but I dismiss it.
Nicole Parker
But I think people use that word when they're trying to even talk about.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't care, but I get it.
Nicole Parker
But I think people do use empathize when it's necessary. Not necessarily something they understand or agree with. But that's the thing. Yes, that's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
I feel like.
Nicole Parker
I'm really sorry. I'm. I'm sorry, Deborah. We're getting a little bit off topic.
Deborah
This is really.
Nicole Parker
But. But this matters because you had a question about the word empathy, and we're trying to figure out how it relates to you and Freddy Krueger so
Doug
well. EMP grenade. Disables electronics. Emp.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's true.
Nicole Parker
Oh, an EMP grenade.
Paul F. Tompkins
Thing we learned from video games. Yes, yes.
Nicole Parker
That's not the same thing. I don't think, babe, empathy is. Does that stand for empathy grenade?
Paul F. Tompkins
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of a another.
Doug
Share the feelings.
Paul F. Tompkins
Share the feelings.
Nicole Parker
Share the feelings.
Paul F. Tompkins
Hey, share the feelings. Don't bogart those feelings. All right? And then we're going to look up sympathy
Doug
for the devil.
Nicole Parker
No, no, babe, we're going to leave. We're just going to try to keep on track here.
Paul F. Tompkins
Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.
Nicole Parker
Aha. Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
The formal expression of pity or sorrow for someone else. So that's sort of saying like. Like, I can't relate to that, but I feel bad for you.
Deborah
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Like 99 problems. This is why you buy sympathy when someone dies.
Deborah
Yes.
Nicole Parker
So which would you say are you. Do you sympathize with Freddy Krueger or. Or empathize with him?
Deborah
I don't feel bad for him. I just understand him.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
And what part do you understand? What is it? Did something similar happen to you in your childhood or what. What is it that you identify with?
Deborah
I haven't. It hasn't happened to me. I just understand the feeling of like, you know, he. He just. He wanted to be friends with the kids, but they didn't want to be friends with him.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I don't know. That.
Paul F. Tompkins
That was a very generous read. I think that's a very generous read on Freddy Krueger.
Deborah
Did I not understand the movie?
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think you did. You may have skimmed the explanation of.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why he came to.
Nicole Parker
Or if you saw like a. Like a five minute recap, maybe. Something like that.
Deborah
Okay, well, how would you sum it up in two sentences?
Paul F. Tompkins
A man who is accused of being a child predator is burned alive, then comes back to kill people in their dreams. The end.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. You didn't even need the second sentence.
Deborah
Okay. Well, I guess I. I understand feeling wronged.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sure.
Nicole Parker
Can you share that? Is there something.
Paul F. Tompkins
Was he wrong?
Nicole Parker
He was a bad guy before he got burned.
Paul F. Tompkins
He was a bad guy.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, He. He was already a bad guy. He was the quintessential bad guy.
Doug
Doesn't he have scissor hands, too?
Paul F. Tompkins
He has. He has razors. Razor fingers.
Nicole Parker
He has blades for hands. I think it's too confusing to say Scissorhands, because that's a different movie about a boy who's not a bad hand.
Paul F. Tompkins
His hands were literally scissors.
Nicole Parker
They were literally scissors.
Paul F. Tompkins
Freddy has, like, a glove.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. That's what it is. So he could take that off if he wants to.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know what?
Nicole Parker
He could. He could just choose a better life.
Doug
You could check it here.
Paul F. Tompkins
He could check his hat.
Nicole Parker
Sure. Good.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you get to play with it
Nicole Parker
for a minute, which you absolutely would.
Deborah
Okay. I guess how I, Deborah, differ from Freddy Krueger is that I, we're both bad. But I, Deborah, try to not do the bad thing. Like, maybe I'll be like, oh, I feel like Freddy does, but I won't do the predating. And. And. But so I understand what came before and after.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why do you feel bad? Why do you feel a personal moment
Nicole Parker
from your life that makes you identify with him? What is it that you recognize?
Deborah
You heard. You saw my part post.
Paul F. Tompkins
You had a dream.
Deborah
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
It can't be just that, but your
Paul F. Tompkins
dream was one of concern. You were concerned about the hospital because you felt people were not going to be able to visit their loved ones.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Deborah
And then my reaction to waking up was that I hope it happened for real. That's pretty.
Nicole Parker
I thought you said you hope it happened just so people wouldn't be mad about you.
Deborah
Yeah, exactly.
Nicole Parker
Right. So that's not what Freddy Krueger does. That's not at all close.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because you don't think it would be this. Okay. You don't think it would be good if the hospital ran out of printer paper?
Deborah
No.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Okay. Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you thought if you. If you talk about this dream and it doesn't come true, people would then be mad at you. You don't think their first thing would be relief that it hadn't happened.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why would they be so mad?
Nicole Parker
Yeah. This is the part I don't get. Can you tell us a little bit about your childhood? Did you have a good Childhood or a lot of friends.
Deborah
It was a great child.
Nicole Parker
Anything stick out, out. And again, I'm just gonna. I'm not a therapist, but, you know, a lot of times on this show, I'm not either. We ask about. Just for clarification, Doug, how do you want to answer?
Doug
Certainly not.
Nicole Parker
Okay. But I do find that.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you have a therapist?
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Okay.
Deborah
She's on maternity leave.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, we wish her all the best and congratulations. Have you discussed this stuff with her in therapy?
Deborah
No, she's been on maternity leave for a few years now.
Nicole Parker
Well, that's not a thing, really. Well, not in that. This country, but in Sweden, I think
Paul F. Tompkins
you could go back to work when they're 18,
Nicole Parker
you just send them into
Doug
work,
Paul F. Tompkins
they finally get a job, then you can go back to work.
Nicole Parker
So what I mean is, is there anything sometimes on.
Deborah
On.
Nicole Parker
On the podcast with. We have guests that I. I just say, is there anything that sticks out to you, you know, in your childhood? Something that was a horrible moment or a. Not because I didn't want to hear it, but not because I want to hear it, but because it might lead to an answer as to why you're feeling this way now. I mean, did you have dreams like this when you were a kid? Did someone get mad at you for telling a lie? Something like that.
Deborah
I guess it's a. When I think about my childhood, it's a lot of like, oh, I thought something really bad had happened and it was entirely my fault. But then a few minutes later, everything was fine.
Nicole Parker
How often would you say that happened?
Deborah
Well, how. How off? Like, every day.
Nicole Parker
Oh, this is an incredibly stressful way to live.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can you give us. We've already gotten the. The church without you. Example. Can you. Can you give us an example of something bad that happened that was your fault?
Deborah
Oh, okay. Well, I guess my mom always said that my little sister was born because I seemed too lonely. So I. I guess. Guess her existence is my fault.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I would never say that as something negative. You know, also, it's heavy to put
Paul F. Tompkins
that on a child.
Nicole Parker
But you're saying you. You created this thought. No one else told you that?
Deborah
Well, I guess I didn't really think that as so much as it was told to me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, you said your mother told you that.
Deborah
Yes, yes.
Nicole Parker
Okay, I see what you're saying. She shouldn't have said that to her.
Paul F. Tompkins
She shouldn't.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that.
Deborah
No, it's my fault.
Paul F. Tompkins
But it's.
Nicole Parker
Right, but it's not your fault.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not. How could you have made that happen?
Deborah
I. That's what it.
Nicole Parker
Trust me, it couldn't.
Deborah
Okay,
Paul F. Tompkins
now, when you say okay like that, are you really taking this in or are you just trying to move the conversation along?
Deborah
Are you mad?
Nicole Parker
We're not mad. You're not? I think this is what I'm trying to look for. Was there a time. What's the worst time when someone did get mad at you? Because it has to have happened. Happened. Usually you would not be afraid someone's mad at you unless someone actually was and it was so terrible that you never wanted to experience that again.
Deborah
I guess people do get mad, but it's usually not when I think they were mad. It's when I. It's. It's. I think they were mad and they were like, I wasn't. And then. But my behavior after causes an actual problem.
Nicole Parker
Oh, can you give us an example of that? How your behavior causes the problem? I'm so sorry. We're just trying to understand.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you go. You go up to somebody and say, I think you're mad at me. And they say, no, I'm not mad at you. And then you.
Nicole Parker
Something happens after.
Deborah
Well, I guess I don't necessarily go up to them and say, I think you're mad at me. I just. I stop talking to them.
Nicole Parker
And.
Deborah
And then maybe later, or they'll send me. They'll try to contact me and say I wasn't mad. But then I've stopped talking to them
Paul F. Tompkins
because you would assume that they were mad.
Nicole Parker
Why can't you believe them, though, when they say, I'm not mad at you? What is the part of your brain that can't accept. Accept that as truth?
Deborah
Do you think we'll get to an answer today?
Paul F. Tompkins
You know, Deborah, that's a fair question.
Deborah
No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to. We can keep going. I just don't know if we'll get to where you want us to get.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, it's a lot. There's so much to unpack here. This is obviously something that's deep within you for a long time. I. I don'. I don't know if we're gonna crack the code today just because we're not
Nicole Parker
really dealing in specifics, you know, like, I still haven't really nailed down anything.
Paul F. Tompkins
We did promise we'd never ask the product.
Deborah
I don't feel that bad about my job. It's just I. I'm so burnt out over there, that's all.
Nicole Parker
So that's why you want to Quit? Not because of a moral.
Deborah
No, I'm just burnt out.
Paul F. Tompkins
And how long have you had this job?
Deborah
Since I. August.
Nicole Parker
Okay, So not quite a year. Do you get out much? Do you have friends you would consider good friends?
Deborah
I don't. I, I, I, I make new friends, and then I. Well, how old is an old friend?
Nicole Parker
Oh, I think that's confused. That was confusing. We should have just let her keep going.
Deborah
You know, the last time I went out was to see Our Town. Town?
Nicole Parker
No way.
Deborah
I love. I really love Our Town.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you do? Well, explain to Bert why you love our town. Maybe she'll be able to explain it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Deborah
It's like the. The rules of society are kind of made up. Like, I don't relate to these people, but they're telling me what their rules of society are.
Nicole Parker
Now. Now, that is the first time I've ever heard anyone say that about our.
Deborah
And so I'm like, okay, the rules
Nicole Parker
of society are different from. Yes, yours. It's really just about life and death and love. Yeah, that's not your world.
Deborah
Well, just the specifics of their world. I'm like, I don't relate to any of that stuff.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now, I saw a production of Our Town that was, you know, lights are up the whole time. Everybody's just in their, you know, street clothes. And then at the very end there, there's this little kitchen, and then these people in period clothes, and they're baking bread, and you can smell the bread baking. And there's an actual stove, like a real set.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
And I thought, why wasn't this the whole play?
Nicole Parker
Because birth.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you have the ability to do this?
Nicole Parker
She's dead. And so at first, everything is just minimalist, right? And then when she goes back into the memory, she. The siege manager lets her go back and have a morning.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, that's him.
Nicole Parker
And that's why. But it's to show us it's a mirror to nature and to humanity. Bern, don't you see? All of a sudden, all the smells come back in. It's as if you're getting to go. It's Kate Wins. Like, getting back to coming back onto the Titanic when she dies.
Paul F. Tompkins
And we're supposed to. The what? And we're supposed to believe this is the afterlife. Now you can remember smells. Thanks.
Nicole Parker
And this is the whole point, is that no one, if you remember, no one looks at her. She tries to talk to her mom. She's like, mama. And she says, everyone's rushing so fast, no one's looking at each other. Let's actually look at each other and enjoy each other. It's beautiful, Mama.
Paul F. Tompkins
Don't you see me? I'm wearing.
Nicole Parker
I'm sorry.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm wearing Adidas sweatpants to go cult
Nicole Parker
July and tell her she could go Mahoma. Why? Why? Did you see the beauty of this bird?
Paul F. Tompkins
Deborah, did you share this? We'll talk about this. Deborah, did you share this dream with anyone besides this very vague post on neighborhap?
Deborah
No. No. But I guess now, now you both and your listeners drink some fireballs.
Nicole Parker
I'm back. I just. I finished crying into a towel
Paul F. Tompkins
now. Okay, so you, you, how do you feel now knowing that the dream did not come true and that everything was fine and that you don't have to worry about this anymore?
Deborah
I guess it was never about the dream. And I regret having posted.
Nicole Parker
Why is that? Why do you regret it? Because of coming on here. Do you regret coming on here?
Deborah
No. It's lovely to meet you.
Nicole Parker
Is it? Just can't tell. Do you understand? We're not mad at you.
Deborah
I, I.
Nicole Parker
Can you feel that?
Deborah
What do you want me to say?
Paul F. Tompkins
No, it's Deborah.
Nicole Parker
I've never met anyone so afraid of people and interaction and saying things.
Paul F. Tompkins
We're not, we're not looking for any specific answer.
Nicole Parker
We want you.
Paul F. Tompkins
We just want you to feel okay.
Deborah
Okay.
Nicole Parker
I don't know. I don't know what else to say or do.
Paul F. Tompkins
Have you okay?
Deborah
Am I worrying you? Is there anything I can do to help?
Nicole Parker
No. See, I feel like you're gonna say whatever you think we want you to say, and I don't. I'm trying to get you out of that cycle because then I would consider that a win, you know, because you haven't really had.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, the closest you've had to one of these dreams coming true is you thought your parents had a bad abandoned you. And then for a few minutes and then you realize, no, they were just a church without you. Anything.
Deborah
Well, one day I, I. Okay, sorry.
Nicole Parker
Go. Whatever you were gonna say.
Deborah
Okay. There was one day where I had a dream that the. The sun disappeared and that. And then the next day did happen to be a solar eclipse. So that was pretty crazy.
Nicole Parker
Almost unlucky timing with dreams.
Deborah
But that was like one time out of all the nights I've been asleep.
Nicole Parker
So wait, so that's. You've only had three dreams so far. Like those. The three. The hospital one.
Deborah
I'm trying to. I don't write them down, so I'm trying to remember.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, but that one, you felt sort of came true.
Deborah
Yeah, that was just like. That's crazy.
Nicole Parker
It sounds like you were able to realize, though I didn't do that, it wasn't because of me. That's science. That just happened on its own. Right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Have you ever had one of these dreams and you did tell someone and they did get mad, mad at you?
Deborah
No.
Nicole Parker
See, this is what I was trying to find out. I don't think there's any precedent for anyone getting mad at her. So I'm just trying to figure out where it's coming from.
Paul F. Tompkins
But this is always your fear.
Deborah
Yes.
Nicole Parker
It sounds like from the beginning of her life.
Paul F. Tompkins
It really does.
Nicole Parker
And I just want to free you of that because then it's got to be. No wonder you're exhausted. It's an exhausting way to live, thinking everyone's mad at you.
Deborah
Yeah, that's a terrible burden. I will say, the times that someone has told me they are mad at me, I think they're really wrong.
Nicole Parker
Okay, so wait, I'm sorry, say that again.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you have. You have a fear that people are going to be mad at you, but when they actually have said I'm mad at you, you think they're mistaken. They have no right.
Nicole Parker
So that has happened twice. We've asked you if someone's ever been mad at you. You see, you can't remember.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, no. As a result of the dreams.
Nicole Parker
Oh. So, no, I meant in life.
Deborah
Was it they've been mad, but not the times where I've been worried. Someone.
Nicole Parker
I get it. Can you tell us a specific example? When someone was mad at. At you? Yes.
Deborah
Sorry. I guess I've dismissed them from my memory because I didn't think.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why would you want to hold on to that?
Nicole Parker
Because you were just not culpable?
Paul F. Tompkins
Exactly.
Deborah
Well, I guess, yeah. People have been mad at me for where I work, but I think they're wrong.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, what are the types of things? How do they express this?
Deborah
You know, I've had close friends who I no longer talk to because they're like, oh, Deborah, why do you work for. I won't say the company, but selling. I won't say the product. Especially when it results in. I won't say what it results in.
Nicole Parker
Although we do know. We do kind of know what it results in.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Or at least what it's supposed to.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Deborah
Okay. And they'll say, I don't know if I can continue to be friends with you if you are contributing to that in. In our world.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right. But you think they're wrong.
Deborah
I think they're wrong. And I stopped talking to them.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Doug
I think I know know it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, and again, you're. You're Your fault with the company. Why you might want to quit is not because of what they do or sell. It's because you're burned out.
Deborah
The hours are great. I just.
Paul F. Tompkins
How did you get burned out?
Deborah
I don't know. Maybe it's not aligned with what I want to do. I've been watching a lot of Instagram reels.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Deborah
Oh. And sometimes burnout is when you're not aligned.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's what Instagram told you?
Deborah
That's what Instagram said.
Paul F. Tompkins
I've been hearing that a lot. But if you're not aligned, you're probably going to burn out.
Nicole Parker
Yep.
Paul F. Tompkins
And. And if you could do anything other than work for this mysterious.
Nicole Parker
That's a great question.
Paul F. Tompkins
Potentially lethal company, what would it be?
Deborah
I think I would want to work in theater, but, like, behind the scenes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Like to be a stage manager.
Deborah
Yeah, that would be amazing. But not the actor who's playing.
Nicole Parker
No, no, of course not. That's too controversial. That would be amazing, though. You know, I could, I could bring you in. I could let you meet everybody because,
Paul F. Tompkins
you know, Joan's a big wig at the. The Dignity Falls Community Playhouse.
Nicole Parker
I am. I am.
Deborah
Oh, I, I, I couldn't. I couldn't ask you to do that.
Nicole Parker
No, we be. We need more crew members. You know, it's always hard to get more crew members. Everyone wants to be on stage. You know, no one wants to be backstage.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's true. But do you have any black clothing?
Deborah
Oh, yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, you're look. That's a plus.
Nicole Parker
Yes. She's halfway there.
Deborah
I have a lot of clipboards and binders.
Nicole Parker
Good. How about colored tape?
Deborah
Oh, yeah, I have, like, a little ring of colored tape.
Nicole Parker
Oh, my gosh.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why do you have that?
Deborah
I've just always had it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is any of that tape gitd?
Deborah
No. I don't know what that means.
Paul F. Tompkins
Glow in the dark.
Deborah
Oh, wow. Oh, that's some industry.
Nicole Parker
They call it glow tape. Really? In theater, burnt is what they call it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, well, she's not in the theater, so I thought I would maybe make it simple.
Doug
I feel like glow tape is simpler than gitd.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, but glow. But then it's a conversation starter. I don't know what that means. Glow in the dark.
Doug
It's only four letters.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now you understand what it is, and we're talking. We're having fun.
Nicole Parker
We are having fun. No doubt, babe. What did you think the product is? I Know you're dying to say it.
Doug
I can say it. I guess. You two made the pledge. I didn't make a pledge.
Nicole Parker
You didn't pledge anything.
Paul F. Tompkins
True.
Nicole Parker
Are you okay, Deborah? If he makes a guess, sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
You okay? If the Cocheck guy makes a guess?
Deborah
Yeah. Yeah.
Doug
Is it brain eating amoeba?
Deborah
Oh, that's a good guess.
Nicole Parker
Ah, what a good way to not answer.
Paul F. Tompkins
Terrible thing to hear.
Nicole Parker
Indeed.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not a brain eating amoeba, but good guess.
Nicole Parker
Good guess. Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
So having this. Okay. You have a lot of clipboards, you have a lot of binders.
Deborah
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
You have a key ring of colored tapes. Have you ever been backstage at a theater?
Deborah
No. Never.
Nicole Parker
What made you, what made you want to do it? Seeing Our Town.
Deborah
Yeah, I think so.
Nicole Parker
Uh huh.
Deborah
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you like people, do you like telling people how many minutes there are until something happens?
Deborah
I don't have a lot of experience in it, but I, I, but I am always aware of how many minutes there are.
Nicole Parker
Okay, that's helpful. I will say that, you know, if you're experiencing burnout, stage managers, they do a lot of work and it's a lot of, you know, long hours. But, but maybe that's not the issue. It's being aligned. Right. And maybe you'll be aligned with stage.
Paul F. Tompkins
Stage being aligned really helps you avoid burnout.
Nicole Parker
It sure does.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Deborah
That's what I keep hearing.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, I know those reels.
Deborah
Yeah. It does seem like stage managing is pretty thankless, huh?
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean, yes, I do think that there's generally a clash between the stage managers.
Paul F. Tompkins
Program is for.
Deborah
Oh, for the thank yous.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. But you don't get, you get to have like 23 characters and that's it. So it's just Law and Order at the end. Thanks to Bob.
Paul F. Tompkins
I stage manage Law and Order. Do you know how at the end of the play when they gesture to, you know, the, the people, I think they should just keep pointing all over the place to everybody, wherever the crew is.
Nicole Parker
Well, you know, a lot of people these days bring the crew out on stage for about.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do they really do?
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
I didn't know that. That's nice.
Nicole Parker
It depends. Especially when it's a very tech heavy show.
Deborah
Oh, wow. I don't want that.
Nicole Parker
I was part of the. You never want to be on stage, that's fine. You don't have to be. You don't have to have to be. You're, you can just be in the shadows, dressing shoes.
Paul F. Tompkins
If they bring the crew out on stage, can you say, not me, I'M not going out there.
Nicole Parker
I believe you can. Yes. Can't be. It's a different union. Can't be forced.
Paul F. Tompkins
Different union.
Nicole Parker
I thought.
Deborah
I thought stage managers were Equity Actors Equity.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes. Stage manager might be a different thing, but the crew members. It depends on the theater. Are their own union. In some theaters, it depends on the theater, folks. It really does.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is this fun to hear all this theater talk?
Nicole Parker
It seems like it.
Deborah
Are you asking the audience or me?
Nicole Parker
I'm asking.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm looking at you. I'm asking you.
Deborah
I like it. I learned what table work is.
Paul F. Tompkins
What's table work?
Deborah
It's when you work at the table.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know what? As an answer.
Nicole Parker
It's a wonderful process where all the actors talk about what they think the dialogue means, and then they say the word piggyback a lot, as in piggybacking on what you said.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, no.
Nicole Parker
Yep.
Paul F. Tompkins
Get me out of there.
Nicole Parker
And it does always feel like they're all. Everyone's trying to win table work. You know, they're trying to come up with the best answer for what the play is about.
Deborah
And it's different than being up on your feet.
Nicole Parker
It's definitely different than being up on your feet.
Paul F. Tompkins
Up on your feet. Let's. Let's put it up on a first.
Nicole Parker
Do table work. You look at the text. You go to the text.
Paul F. Tompkins
Here's what I would do at table work.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Everybody goes around. They say their thing, and I'm not saying anything. And I'm just. I'm sitting there like this. I'm lean back in my chair, arms folded. Right. And then I wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait until somebody says, well, what do you think? Burnt. And I say, you're all full of. And I stand up and walk out.
Nicole Parker
That would be so refreshing. Burnt. It really would, honestly. I wish someone would. I wish someone would.
Deborah
Do you think you would be able to go to the next rehearsal after that? Or you. That would just be your exit.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I guess. I gaslight everybody the next day. I said, what are you talking about? Why would I say that?
Nicole Parker
And you'd stay. Because you're the only guy that can sing.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right. Street presenting. So I. I feel like the theater is sort of has been calling you for quite a long time.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow. This is where your real sort of supernatural gift comes in, is that you've been preparing for working in the theater and not even realizing it this whole
Deborah
time, because you could be bad there, and that's just. Just part of the process.
Paul F. Tompkins
Like a bad person.
Deborah
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Part of theater.
Nicole Parker
And just be prepared. If you decide to go to theater, someone will be mad at you at some point for something. Fans.
Deborah
Fans will be mad at you. Have fans been mad at you?
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure. Yeah. I had to call out because I was in the hospital. I had sepsis and they came to my hospital room to complain. Why weren't you there on stage? Show must go. Want.
Deborah
Wow. Did that make you feel loved?
Nicole Parker
Could feel anything at that time?
Paul F. Tompkins
What would that make you feel love, Deborah, if somebody did that to you?
Deborah
I don't. Well, it's just that they want. They wanted your performance so badly that they came to you with anger in their heart to express their love.
Doug
They did have flowers and get well soon cards, but with that message in the card.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's fair.
Nicole Parker
But the soon underneath had an asterisk. It said already. Not soon enough. It was very rude. It was very rude.
Paul F. Tompkins
Which show was that?
Nicole Parker
Oh, that was Dance the Vampires, which was a musical famously on Broadway and famously didn't do well. But we tried to reimagine it.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you called it Dance Pyres, right?
Nicole Parker
Yes, we tried to smush it together. Dance pyres. It was very dance heavy. We did. We had. We had everybody up and dancing. We were teaching the dance.
Paul F. Tompkins
Come on, everybody, let's do the dance pyre on Broadway.
Deborah
Thousand Seat House.
Nicole Parker
No, this was at the Disney Falls Playhouse. They didn't do that. This was a reimagining of the dance of the vampires called Dance Pyres.
Doug
Yeah, he had umpires in it.
Nicole Parker
We did. That was his idea. He was like, you know, you should do. She'd have umpires as well.
Paul F. Tompkins
And it was set in the umpire staple.
Nicole Parker
And anytime someone would bite someone, he'd yell strike.
Deborah
Was there still vampire stuff there?
Nicole Parker
Sure was. I just said people bit. People got bit on the neck.
Paul F. Tompkins
And if the. All the blood was drained, then the vampire would go, you're out of there.
Nicole Parker
Yes, it was. It was. It was. It followed the actual real time of a baseball game. So it was a very long. There were. There were 300.
Paul F. Tompkins
Very long. Yes. There was branding all over the stage.
Nicole Parker
There was a seventh inning bite. You know what I mean?
Paul F. Tompkins
You could clever bet on it.
Deborah
So if I was already working at the theater, maybe I could have like sold concessions, walked around. Is that.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Now that would have you being out in front of people and you said you'd want. Didn't want to do that. But yes, you. You could. You could. You could do concessions. If that's. We're talking about something Totally different now. Sure.
Deborah
Right.
Paul F. Tompkins
But I think only that show had the. The walk around concessions where people had the little Betty Boop trees, as we call them, because we don't know what to.
Nicole Parker
That's all we know how to refer to them. Cigars. The.
Doug
Like my recording station.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, exactly.
Nicole Parker
That's how Doug manages to keep it mobile. He has everything on his cigarette station tray that he Boop style. I think what we should do is you should come to the theater, I'll show you around, I'll introduce you to everybody, show you the ropes, as it were. There are. There are actual ropes and you can actually pull.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is that where it comes from? Or does it come from the Navy?
Nicole Parker
That sounds more like a navy thing.
Deborah
I do have a lot of experience with ropes. I've said. I've said too.
Nicole Parker
What did it have to do with the job?
Paul F. Tompkins
Can you give us just a little hint of what you've done with ropes?
Deborah
I. Okay. You guessed it.
Nicole Parker
What?
Paul F. Tompkins
The job. Poison rope.
Deborah
Yep. Yeah, I. They're probably gonna fire me because I've talked about it now on a. On a podcast.
Nicole Parker
I don't know that you have. I mean, did I guess it? What. What are we talking about. About here? It involves rope.
Deborah
You know, I. I work customer service for poison ropes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And so when people are complaining.
Nicole Parker
Poison.
Paul F. Tompkins
What. What is the chief complaint of poison ropes?
Deborah
It's not effective enough.
Nicole Parker
She already told you.
Paul F. Tompkins
And this is the idea that people, you. They climb the ropes and the poison gets in like that. Or do you just tie people up or.
Deborah
Yes, the company was founded on the idea that, hey, you want to strangle. You want to use ropes for something, perhaps strangling, but you're not so strong. So the poison part is kind of like a backup.
Nicole Parker
A backup. Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you're not strong enough to strangle them, I don't know that you'll be strong enough to keep them in place. That's the complaint, is that this poison rope is not working fast enough to get him away.
Nicole Parker
But that.
Deborah
Yeah, So I guess it could be a pro, a product error. But it's. If you were strong enough, then it would be effective, but then you wouldn't
Paul F. Tompkins
need the poison, Right?
Deborah
That is true.
Doug
I was imagining climbing a rope, and then I was seeping in your hand.
Nicole Parker
I was thinking a tug of war, a game. A tug of war. Deadly.
Paul F. Tompkins
That. Oh, you do math. Murder, kill so many people.
Nicole Parker
Let them do the work.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't like either side.
Nicole Parker
They're the ones pulling.
Paul F. Tompkins
Good.
Doug
Violent scenario.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's a good. I hope Those guys are happy.
Nicole Parker
Three listeners who want more violent scenarios.
Paul F. Tompkins
We got three requests for more violent scenarios.
Nicole Parker
Sick. They probably use your product.
Deborah
Well, so the other thing about the project is that the poison can't be that. That strong through. It's supposed to absorb through skin, but it can't be that potent because then administering the rope, you would also die.
Nicole Parker
That's a good point. You can wear. Have to wear gloves. They tell you. You tell people to wear the gloves.
Deborah
Well, that's not. That's not something we sell. So we could tell people that, but that's up to them.
Nicole Parker
Seems like it'd be an easy access accessory to sell right along with, you know, like the socks. Needed a trampoline.
Deborah
Park like a separate fountain.
Doug
You could sell a bundle.
Nicole Parker
I see. So people have probably died using this product themselves.
Deborah
I don't know. I don't hear from them.
Nicole Parker
Good point, good point.
Paul F. Tompkins
Probably not a lot of dead people write in to complain. Complain. Boy, if dead people could complain.
Doug
And they probably kept their plan secret so no one else could complain.
Paul F. Tompkins
True.
Nicole Parker
Good point. True. Good point.
Doug
Thank you.
Nicole Parker
Well, thank you for sharing that with us. I do hope you get fired because I don't think you should be working for this company.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think you should just quit the point.
Deborah
Yeah, I don't feel.
Nicole Parker
Get out ahead of it and quit and come to the theater.
Deborah
I'm gonna keep working. Okay. I'm gonna keep working there until I decide to quit.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, well, you know, there's a.
Nicole Parker
Wisdom, I guess. Paychecks.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think you should. Your. Your last act there probably should be calling the police and saying there's a business that sells merger implements.
Nicole Parker
I mean, you might have a severe pay cut going to work in theater. Could I ask. Is it too weird to ask what you make a week doing this?
Deborah
I make $400 a week.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay. You'll still lose money, but it'll be fine.
Paul F. Tompkins
Deborah, I gotta say, that's not a lot of money.
Nicole Parker
It's really, really not everything.
Paul F. Tompkins
Really, really everything that's bad about this, I would assume.
Nicole Parker
You.
Deborah
I like my co workers.
Nicole Parker
You're alone. How do you know them?
Paul F. Tompkins
Are you guys just in a slack?
Deborah
We chat on the slack. Oh, you do?
Nicole Parker
You do.
Deborah
We do bits on the slack, but
Nicole Parker
that you're not afraid of. You're not afraid of doing bits on the slack and having people mad at you. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can you give us one bit you do on the slack?
Nicole Parker
But wait, I want to hear. What do you. What's different about slack? You said?
Deborah
I guess, I guess I feel confident in my place of work.
Nicole Parker
Work isn't that interesting. All right, go ahead. Sorry.
Paul F. Tompkins
Bert, can you give us an example of what you and the gang get up to on this la.
Deborah
Yeah, we come up with different pitches for what could be poison besides rope.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's fun. Like what? What kind?
Deborah
But we have.
Nicole Parker
What's the list? Yeah.
Deborah
A snake.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sure, sure. Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Built in.
Deborah
Shoelace.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sure.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Deborah
Like a really limp piece of celery.
Doug
So you're sort of staying around the rope idea?
Deborah
Oh, yeah. I guess. I didn't even think it could be something else. It could be anything, I guess.
Nicole Parker
It sure could.
Deborah
What do you guys think?
Paul F. Tompkins
A bicycle.
Deborah
Wow.
Nicole Parker
Bicycle.
Deborah
Poison bicycle.
Nicole Parker
A poison bicycle. It's on the seat or the handlebars.
Paul F. Tompkins
Everything, the whole thing.
Deborah
I gotta tell my co workers. I'll give you credit. I'll give you credit.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, you don't have to give me credit. That's fine.
Nicole Parker
That's very nice.
Paul F. Tompkins
That could be yours.
Nicole Parker
All right. Well, we wish you well.
Paul F. Tompkins
We really do. And I. I think you should. You should get out of this job as quickly as possible. I would say apply for a job at the Dignity Falls Playhouse.
Deborah
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And. And. And. And then as soon as you get a position there, you should absolutely quit the Murder Rope factory.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Deborah
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Deborah
I would work for free at the. At the theater.
Nicole Parker
You basically will.
Deborah
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
How do you hope to sustain yourself?
Deborah
I guess I have to keep both jobs then.
Nicole Parker
No, no, no. Listen, we'll figure something out, okay? Just get out of that job, Come to the theater. Well, it's gonna be great.
Deborah
Sorry, I should ask. Do you know if the hospital's okay?
Nicole Parker
I have not heard anything. Babe, can you check up on the hospital? Can you go to the hospital? Cam, we have a live hospital.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why don't you call them? We do have a life.
Doug
Sure, I could call them right now.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, turn up the audio on the live hospital.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, for sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know. I would suggest calling after. We have a live cam.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, it's in. It's in the hospital. It's not, you know, just outside? It's in there.
Paul F. Tompkins
I need an update on baby James. Go. No, hon, no, I'm. You can't visit. Sorry. No, there's no printer paper.
Nicole Parker
Wait, what?
Paul F. Tompkins
We had a cyber attack.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no. Deborah. Oh, my goodness.
Deborah
Oh, no.
Nicole Parker
Whoa. That's crazy.
Paul F. Tompkins
Dream came true.
Deborah
I made this.
Nicole Parker
Are you happy or not?
Deborah
I don't know. I don't know what these feelings are.
Nicole Parker
Oh, dear.
Deborah
I can't find my. My coat check slip.
Nicole Parker
Oh, it's okay. Let's give her back her coat.
Deborah
No, I should just walk home like this.
Paul F. Tompkins
The only person I met be able
Nicole Parker
to identify her coat that sympathetically.
Doug
That's, that is too bad.
Nicole Parker
Not empathetic.
Deborah
I'm gonna walk home like this.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, no, you don't have to walk home.
Doug
You can't find it at all.
Nicole Parker
Go get your coat. Doug will give it to you.
Deborah
I don't want it. It's. I've donated to the show. You can have the wheels.
Paul F. Tompkins
No,
Nicole Parker
we don't need the wheels for the podcast. You're gonna go get it back, okay? Promise me you're gonna go. Gonna go get it back.
Deborah
What's that?
Doug
That's my, my little bell.
Nicole Parker
That's his little bell.
Paul F. Tompkins
We need a crash
Nicole Parker
turn off the hospital live cam. I don't want to listen. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Somebody just yelled flatline at the end.
Deborah
What if there was a visitor who could have helped?
Nicole Parker
Oh, no, I don't think that that's likely. So try not to feel too bad about it, okay?
Paul F. Tompkins
I bet that was not a paper related death.
Nicole Parker
No, I'm sure it wasn't.
Doug
All right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, Deborah, thank you so much for joining us.
Deborah
I'm sorry.
Nicole Parker
Don't be. So.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's a first. We've never had somebody apologize for being here.
Nicole Parker
I don't think so. I don't think some of them should have too. For sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
I, I, you're a sweet, you're a sweet kid. And I, I, I, I, I.
Deborah
33 years.
Nicole Parker
I know, but it's a kid to me.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you work it.
Nicole Parker
It's a kid to me.
Paul F. Tompkins
At a poison rope for the boys rope company. So. I think that's generous of you, Joan. Okay. But yeah, get, get, get out of that job as quickly as you can.
Nicole Parker
Please do.
Paul F. Tompkins
Get yourself to the theater. Get backstage. You know, I think you'd have a much better time. You'd feel better about yourself.
Nicole Parker
Yes. The security and long time knowledge that you'll always have work in the theater.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. And as we, as we do Grant for a lot of our guests who have in similar situations, we're going to give you a 20 minute head start before we call the police.
Deborah
Okay. I'll, I could.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Get going. Good. Doug.
Doug
I agree. Stuff.
Nicole Parker
Bring her coat up.
Doug
Yeah, I can set the wheels.
Nicole Parker
Could help you.
Doug
Good as new.
Deborah
Okay. I'll just, I'll, I'll let you know where I'll be in 20 minutes.
Nicole Parker
I mean, you don't have to.
Paul F. Tompkins
You don't have to.
Nicole Parker
Just. Just come to theater at some point once. Once everything is cleared.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Okay. If you don't. If you don't. If you're not taken to jail, come to the theater.
Paul F. Tompkins
We'll be right back.
Nicole Parker
Hey. This is Ramone Prop. Decorative, large wooden axe. Acha decorativa. 5 bucks. Sturdy wooden handle with a large black blade so you can take a look at it. It is big, y'.
Deborah
All.
Nicole Parker
I want to be very clear. This is a prop. It's a prop you use. Use it for a show. You do not use it to commit an ax murder. Five bucks for props. I know. I know what it looks like. You may not commit an axe murder with this. Thank you,
Paul F. Tompkins
Land. Welcome back to the neighborhood.
Nicole Parker
Listen, not land. Burns. Oh, my gosh. Now you're just doing it. Now we know it's a joke. Okay, fine. That was funny.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's funny. You really, really don't like it? Yeah, I really don't like it.
Nicole Parker
I'm learning to be more okay with it because now I'm realizing purpose. Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you mad at me? See, now I feel like. Deborah, I'm not mad at you, okay?
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm.
Nicole Parker
I really worry about her.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm goofing around. Yeah. She's got.
Nicole Parker
I mean, what a mysterious person.
Paul F. Tompkins
I want to be worried about her, but I also feel like she's willingly working at a poisoned rope factory and doing customer service. I know, like, trying to help.
Nicole Parker
Just the word customer service for that kind of a. Of a business doesn't sound even appropriate.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think it's bold. They have one at all.
Nicole Parker
I think it should be a direct line to the police station.
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I agree.
Nicole Parker
Really wouldn't do anything. I do feel bad for asking her too many questions, but it's an interview. Thank you. Thank you for that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, that's. Why. That's.
Nicole Parker
What did she get. Did she get out okay? Did you give her her coat, Babe did.
Doug
Yeah. You should see that thing go.
Paul F. Tompkins
You should.
Doug
You should get one.
Nicole Parker
A coat with wheels on it.
Doug
Yeah. Outdoor coat. You're always.
Nicole Parker
Why would I need that? Well, that's true. I am always.
Paul F. Tompkins
You should see that thing go. It's. The wheels are dragging behind you, Right?
Nicole Parker
Yeah. They're not propelling her, are they?
Doug
No, but I feel if you. She really starts running and then kind of lifts her feet, a little, catch
Nicole Parker
under it, and it acts like a sail.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Doug
For at least a couple inches.
Nicole Parker
Little parasail for a minute.
Paul F. Tompkins
Here's what I imagine is that it's little wheels and the thing is just constantly falling over. It's like in the early days, days of luggage, when they tried to put like some little tiny wheels on a regular rectangular suitcase, not a square one.
Nicole Parker
Okay. All right.
Doug
Wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
A parallelogram shaped suitcase.
Nicole Parker
Okay, let's fight about shapes, guys. Let's not fight about.
Paul F. Tompkins
Let's not fight about shapes. What is this? Julio Torres? You know what I mean?
Nicole Parker
No.
Paul F. Tompkins
Somebody does.
Nicole Parker
That's all that matters.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, well, we have time for one more post. Joan, we do have to see the
Doug
shape of water monster Julio Torres.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know.
Doug
I didn't know his name.
Nicole Parker
I don't think of.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think he had a name.
Nicole Parker
Guillermo del Toro, didn't he?
Paul F. Tompkins
Directoro does have a name.
Doug
Is he the monster?
Nicole Parker
No, he directed the movie. I'm asking, did you refer to him
Paul F. Tompkins
as shape of water monster? The director, She's. Hold on.
Nicole Parker
Are you thinking of the director, Guillermo del Toro?
Paul F. Tompkins
Answer the question.
Doug
Only if he played the monster.
Paul F. Tompkins
He didn't.
Nicole Parker
Did not.
Doug
Well, I asked about the monster.
Paul F. Tompkins
And how did you ask him about
Doug
it again, if you're the name you mentioned was the shape of water monster?
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Believe it or not.
Paul F. Tompkins
So have you been thinking this whole time that the director of that movie also. No.
Doug
Only because Joan suggested that I would have been a fool to think of gal. I can't say.
Nicole Parker
G. Maybe hungry Gargamel.
Paul F. Tompkins
Maybe hungry for Guillermil apples. I know it's not as seasonal.
Nicole Parker
We do love.
Doug
I knew what I was asking about, and I know who del Toro is.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, but.
Doug
But you're asking, so I already knew it wasn't him.
Paul F. Tompkins
Unless.
Nicole Parker
Tell you something amazing.
Paul F. Tompkins
What were you asking me in your mind?
Doug
I didn't recognize the name.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's not what I asked you. What were you asking me in your mind when I said.
Nicole Parker
Now you have to let him answer, Bert. You have to let him answer.
Paul F. Tompkins
I want to make sure.
Doug
My question is, oh, this is like a Pierce Morgan.
Paul F. Tompkins
When I said, Let me finish, let me finish, let me finish.
Nicole Parker
Ah, yes, a little bit. A little bit.
Paul F. Tompkins
When I said the name Julio Torres. Yes. And you asked me and we were talking about shape.
Doug
We were talking about arguing about shapes.
Nicole Parker
That was before, but yes, that's right.
Doug
And you said, who am I, Julio Torres?
Paul F. Tompkins
And you said, is that shape of water monster? Yeah. What were you asking me when you said that is.
Doug
Who is that Is the shape of water monster named Julio Torres?
Nicole Parker
See, I understood that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
That's what I understood him to be asking. Why was.
Doug
Then why did you ask who? Benicio Del Toro.
Nicole Parker
Del Toro.
Paul F. Tompkins
How did he get into the decision? No one was asking about.
Nicole Parker
No one asked about that. Okay, I am saying. Did you. He. I understand what you were asking, babe, and I'm about to blow your mind right now. A Guillermo did direct that movie, right?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Secondly, the man who played the monster, his name is Doug. Can you wrap your head around that? Doug Jones. And guess what? He also played the guy with the hands in Pads Labyrinth. And he was also in Hellraiser, which you love. Pans, Labyrinth, and the. The Mummy. What's his name? From Hocus Pocus.
Paul F. Tompkins
Super Zombie man.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, I can't remember his name.
Doug
He was also.
Paul F. Tompkins
He was also on Star Trek.
Nicole Parker
Star Trek. First of all, babe, doing it again. What?
Doug
My mind is shattered into a million pieces.
Nicole Parker
No, I think it's a good thing when. When Doug's mind is shattered, it's a good thing.
Doug
You did blow my mind.
Nicole Parker
Yep. I knew I would.
Doug
However, I wasn't asking who the actor who played the Shape of Water Monster. I was asking if that was the name of the Shape of Water Monster.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now, as a third party.
Nicole Parker
Clear.
Paul F. Tompkins
As a third party party, Joan was thinking, if I may, that you were mixing up the name.
Doug
And that's what frustrates me, because I
Paul F. Tompkins
wasn't my time Reclaiming my time. Reclaiming my time.
Doug
I was boosting reclaiming my time.
Nicole Parker
This could go on forever. Our listeners don't want this.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you thought in the Shape of Water, that this fish man, his name was Julio Torres. This creature does not speak.
Doug
I didn't.
Nicole Parker
Now I need to look it up. If it has a name.
Doug
Reclaiming my time.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy.
Doug
We're so close.
Nicole Parker
We can't use that phrase for this. This is too silly.
Doug
I did not think that. I asked it.
Nicole Parker
I did not think it. I asked it. Therefore you are.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can you ask it without thinking it? Well, that's.
Doug
That's.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's the station. Was that a difference? Means you did think it.
Doug
That's why you asked. Maybe true, but I wasn't certain.
Paul F. Tompkins
You thought there was a possibility that the fish man's name was Julio Torres.
Doug
Yes. Now we're getting somewhere else.
Paul F. Tompkins
Even though he never speaks in the entire film. Have you seen the film?
Nicole Parker
He's simply referred to as the amphibian man, the creature, or the ash.
Doug
So it could be Julio Torres.
Nicole Parker
No, no, it could never be Julio Torres.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not. Wasn't. It isn't. And it won't be.
Nicole Parker
It'd be incredible if he was, though.
Paul F. Tompkins
Feels good about IMDb
Nicole Parker
oh, my goodness. Is that how he sounded? Oh, wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now, here's what I. I will. This is a confession that I have to make.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I had seen the movie Hellboy, also directed by Guillermo Dorres, also starring. Did I say Del Torres?
Nicole Parker
Guillermo del Toro wasn't going to say anything, but. Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
The William of the Bull.
Nicole Parker
Indeed.
Paul F. Tompkins
And Hellboy features a fish man played by Doug Jones.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And so when the shape of water came out, I thought, this is a sort of prequel to Hellboy.
Nicole Parker
No, no, no, no, no.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's about a completely different fish man
Nicole Parker
with a huge member. That's what everyone was talking about, if you remember that year.
Paul F. Tompkins
Honestly. Remember? I don't remember that. I know. Apparently, I know that they had sex.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. And there was a. And we learned. Comments made about it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Language. Yes. Sally Hawkins.
Nicole Parker
Sally Hawkins, that's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I don't recall seeing the.
Nicole Parker
You didn't. There was just a reference to it. Oh.
Paul F. Tompkins
She was like, by the way, not
Nicole Parker
only is he official, Julio Torres really gave me the horn.
Paul F. Tompkins
He Guillermoed my. Del Toro gave me the horn.
Nicole Parker
Okay. I'm just having fun. You can cut it. I don't care. I don't care. Do you hear me? I don't care.
Paul F. Tompkins
Will people need to look that up, or do you think they'll get what it means? Gave me the horn.
Doug
I think he's got a couple barnacles on it.
Nicole Parker
It does. We shouldn't keep going.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Barnacles. Because he's underwater. Okay, here. Here is. Here is a man with a post, and I don't know how to feel about it. Okay, this is from Matthew. It says. No punctuation. This sentence just says, hello, ladies. My name is Matthew. I'm 55. I've been single for over 10 years, and I can't take it no more. Nice to meet everybody.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow. Wow. Strawberry.
Nicole Parker
That's it. That's the whole thing.
Paul F. Tompkins
I've been single for a while, and I can't take it no more.
Nicole Parker
I can't take it no more. I mean, that's a. That's. That's. You're. He's a blues song, you know, And I. It makes me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, no. You don't think he's gonna attract Irish vampires?
Nicole Parker
That was more of an Irish jig song, wasn't it?
Doug
Are you talking about they were vampires,
Paul F. Tompkins
but they were attracted by the music?
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure. I think that this man Matthew is a vampire. Or is. Is he's being attracted.
Paul F. Tompkins
You don't think he's in danger of attracting vampires with this song?
Nicole Parker
I don't think think he is, but I really. We normally never do this. We normally never knew this. We never knew it.
Paul F. Tompkins
We never knew it.
Nicole Parker
We never knew it. We don't normally do it, but we're going to do it now. And the comments are wild because the first one says, I'm also four single and I'd like to have a friend.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm also four.
Nicole Parker
It's got to be a typo. The next time, the next one. The next time someone says, have you it F O U r. Nope, it's the number four.
Paul F. Tompkins
What?
Nicole Parker
Yes, it's right there.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm also four, but this is.
Nicole Parker
This is from a guy named Omar, so I don't know what's going on.
Paul F. Tompkins
Omar.
Nicole Parker
Coming. Omar. And Omar says, I'm four single and I'd like to have a friend.
Doug
Karen says, he also says I'm four.
Nicole Parker
No, his name was Omar. Karen says, have you considered seeking various relationships, not just romantic ones. Try to build companionship and comrades in various areas. Church, civic groups, hobbies, interest groups, run clubs. It keeps going.
Paul F. Tompkins
Jo, did you throw a little sauce?
Nicole Parker
I did. I can't say cuz, you know, I still. I still like to throw a little. What's his name from. He did rivalry in, you know. Oh, you. You comrade. Yeah, that's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Hol. You comrade.
Nicole Parker
I'm wearing a see through blouse. Are you jealous? You okay? Thank you. Thank you for letting me do that.
Paul F. Tompkins
When a man wears a see through, see through shirt, there's something weird about it to me.
Nicole Parker
Of course you think that.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, there's not a lot of
Nicole Parker
see through shirts you hate. You hate see through anything.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't like see through things.
Nicole Parker
You really don't.
Doug
It's a lie when you think about it.
Nicole Parker
A lie?
Doug
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
What's the lie?
Doug
The see throughness. Because if you walk through it, you're gonna get hit. You know, it's. It's inviting you to.
Nicole Parker
But in reference to a shirt. How does that make sense?
Doug
Well, if it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. Also how is it a lie? You could see. You can see through it. Whatever you're talking.
Nicole Parker
He's just talking about when you run into a window.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
And that's all he's talking about.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's not a lie.
Nicole Parker
You saw through it. Anything else?
Paul F. Tompkins
You saw through it so much you thought it wasn't there. Yeah, that.
Doug
That's the lie.
Nicole Parker
Okay. So now Matthew responds to Kathy.
Paul F. Tompkins
You think they should be Called Invisible Windows.
Nicole Parker
Matthew responds to Karen's suggestion. And I don't think it's not sarcastic, but listen, Karen, thanks for the vital information. I don't know what I would do without you. I'll keep it in mind in the title. Time comes, this might be why he can't find a woman. Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, there's no way that's not sarcastic.
Nicole Parker
There's no way.
Paul F. Tompkins
Never say to someone sincerely, thanks for the vital information.
Nicole Parker
I don't know what I would do without you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, that's.
Nicole Parker
Then there are some nice exchanges. Patricia says, hello. Nice to meet you, Matthew. Matthew says, patricia, Hello, Patricia. Nice to meet you. How are you doing today? I think he needs to learn to break up words a little bit because his thoughts are all run on. And I do think that if he. That's how he greets someone on a blind date. Hello, Patricia. How are you? Hi, Patricia. Nice to meet you. How you doing today, Patricia? That would put me off a little.
Paul F. Tompkins
Was that all one?
Nicole Parker
Yes, it was. I'm telling you, this is all.
Paul F. Tompkins
The name that many times he says.
Nicole Parker
He says it twice. Hello, Patric. Patricia. Hello, Patricia. Nice to meet you. How are you doing today, Patricia?
Paul F. Tompkins
Hello, Patricia. Yes, I would think that was an alien trying to learn my language.
Nicole Parker
Correct, Correct. And then she. Maybe these are both aliens. Because she responds, matthew, I'm doing good. How are you doing today?
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, boy.
Nicole Parker
And then Paris spelled. Spelled like the Roby and Julie Net version. Just kidding. I was having a little fun. Paris, P A, R, R, I S, S. Meet Jesus. Everything else will fall into place. I guarantee.
Paul F. Tompkins
Paris, come on.
Nicole Parker
Matthew says, paris, first of all, I'm not complaining so much or I'm not hurting so bad that I need a woman so bad that I need to talk to Jesus for help. That's not how it is. Other Jesus is a good help. I didn't ask for Seymour. I didn't click further.
Paul F. Tompkins
Other Jesus is a good help.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wait, hang on. Other Jesus is a good help and a lot of things, but not. This is not what I'm talking about. At the same in general. I'm the same in general conversation that I'm single. That's all. I think we know why he's single.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow. Did I tell you?
Nicole Parker
Did I not tell you that was crazy.
Doug
What He's a little testy about He's a little testy.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, he comes out. You know, Obviously, if you had the thought maybe Jesus could solve this problem, you wouldn't first be going on line.
Nicole Parker
No.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you at all thought that Jesus was the solution. If you're aware of who Jesus is.
Nicole Parker
Also, don't say that. I mean a relationship with Jesus, what does that look like? It's different for everyone. That's not the same as a relationship with a human body here. On. On Earth. That's not the same at all.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know if that's what Paris was suggesting. I. I think she was saying, if you meet Jesus, then you will end up with a girlfriend.
Nicole Parker
I think Paris is a man.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. I apologize for misgendering Paris.
Nicole Parker
It's not. It's not. I'm just saying I don't think is a good question. I feel like this is something.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why do you think Paris is a man?
Nicole Parker
Because, first of all, I wish I could say his last name is as French as it gets. It might as well be Paris Croissant.
Paul F. Tompkins
But Paris with two Rs.
Nicole Parker
But you're right, I don't. Paris with two Rs. You're right. It could be a woman.
Paul F. Tompkins
Thank you.
Nicole Parker
All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. You can sit down.
Paul F. Tompkins
I accept your shipology.
Nicole Parker
You didn't need to salute either. That was weird.
Paul F. Tompkins
I like salute.
Nicole Parker
Okay, fair enough.
Paul F. Tompkins
Gotta admit, I'm good at it.
Deborah
Look.
Nicole Parker
Look, you were. You were.
Deborah
It was.
Nicole Parker
Honestly, it was crisp. It was crisp. If it was anything.
Paul F. Tompkins
Let me give you one more.
Nicole Parker
It went like an arrow stuck in the. In the. In the wall. I just. I don't think that's gonna help Matthew. I can see why he's getting defensive. I'm glad Patricia's there. I hope they're both aliens. I hope that they meet.
Paul F. Tompkins
I hope they're both aliens.
Nicole Parker
Patricia, how are you? Patricia, nice to see you. How are you doing today?
Paul F. Tompkins
How do you like the Earth food?
Nicole Parker
It is crisp.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did you find an Earth parking spot suitable to your liking?
Nicole Parker
Have you met Jesus?
Paul F. Tompkins
He is good for the other.
Nicole Parker
He is good for the other. Well, Matthew, best of luck. I really hope you find someone. And I hope you don't invade our Earth.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, please look kindly upon Earth.
Nicole Parker
Please do.
Paul F. Tompkins
Some of us are trying our best. That does it for this episode of the Neighborhood. Listen, we'll be back next week with an all new episode. If you'd like to hear ad free versions of our episodes or gain access to our bonus content, go to cbbworld.com and sign up at the Maximus Tier. And then you get all this great stuff.
Nicole Parker
We still don't know what that means.
Paul F. Tompkins
What?
Nicole Parker
CBB World. No, I don't know what it's no idea.
Paul F. Tompkins
I hope it's not something dirty.
Nicole Parker
So do I. What is an unfair prank?
Paul F. Tompkins
What's some of the bonus content they can get?
Nicole Parker
Well, we do a lot of wild watch alongs because we talk about movies a lot.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's true.
Nicole Parker
And we decide that if Burton only knows three things about them, we gotta watch it.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's true. Lately I've been on a hot streak of knowing more than three things.
Nicole Parker
You've been doing good.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
You've been doing really good. I'm gonna try to stump you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Also. Also, sometimes we will do a fun date night where we'll go out with. Can't right now because the incident's still happening. What's the situation with the incident?
Paul F. Tompkins
We're. We're okay. We're okay for now.
Nicole Parker
All right.
Paul F. Tompkins
We're holding our own.
Nicole Parker
Oh, he just saluted again. Now that makes me worry. That makes me worry.
Doug
We better. Also.
Nicole Parker
Are you getting pulled into this burnt?
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, I. I listen to the sound when I. When I release the salute.
Nicole Parker
Listen to this. Wow.
Doug
Is that real, babe? Is that real?
Nicole Parker
I thought he was shooting a poison dart.
Doug
Wow. I gotta work on that.
Nicole Parker
No, it was a very good salute. It almost looked. AI,
Doug
his fingers. He got six fingers in.
Paul F. Tompkins
I got tricked by AI.
Nicole Parker
He got six fingers.
Paul F. Tompkins
Finger tricked again the other day by AI. Here's the thing. I'm not going to share any photos
Nicole Parker
no ever of anything ever again until
Paul F. Tompkins
AI is definitely dead and in the ground.
Deborah
Yes.
Nicole Parker
It's too depressing.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's too depressing.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Why you have to go after cute animals? Why can't those be real for us? Why do you have to do that?
Deborah
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Train an animal to do that and then take a video of it.
Nicole Parker
That's what we want. Yes, that's what we want. A real bear jumping on a real trample.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. It can't be that hard.
Nicole Parker
Really can.
Paul F. Tompkins
I bet a bear would love to do that if they could get up there.
Nicole Parker
Dying to get. Get up there.
Paul F. Tompkins
Put some food on a trampoline.
Nicole Parker
Let's make it more accessible, people.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. Put some food on a trampoline.
Nicole Parker
That's how we fight. That's how we fight.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's how we fight.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I saluted. Now you did.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was a pretty good one.
Nicole Parker
Thank you. Goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.
Paul F. Tompkins
The neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and me,
Doug
Nicole Parker, and me, Brett Morris.
Paul F. Tompkins
This episode's guest was played by Alex Songsha. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.
Nicole Parker
Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show going. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us.
Nicole Parker
Now on each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?
Nicole Parker
A whole lot.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.
Podcast Summary: The Neighborhood Listen Episode: A Terrible Dream with Alex Song-Xia Date: May 12, 2026
This episode of The Neighborhood Listen dives into quirky happenings and personal tales from the fictional town of Dignity Falls. Hosts Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) explore community posts from the "neighborhap" app, touch on neighborhood oddities, and welcome a distinctive resident, Deborah (Alex Song-Xia), who is plagued by anxious dreams and an unusual job. The discussion balances sharp improv, genuine empathy for anxiety, and absurd Dignity Falls humor.
A Terrible Dream with Alex Song-Xia is a classic Neighborhood Listen—uproarious, layered, and unexpectedly touching. It explores the little anxieties and bigger absurdities of community life, the clash of logic and feeling, and the universal wish to belong—even if you’re bad at believing you deserve to.