An Unusual Assault with Edgar Blackmon

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Neighborhood Listen – "An Unusual Assault with Edgar Blackmon"

Episode Details

• Title: An Unusual Assault with Edgar Blackmon
• Hosts: Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins) and Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker)
• Guest: Edgar Blackmon (played by Brett Morris)
• Release Date: November 5, 2024

---

Introduction

In this episode of The Neighborhood Listen, hosts Burnt Millipede and Joan Pedestrian delve into a peculiar incident reported by a resident of Dignity Falls. Utilizing real posts from the local social networking app, they bring to life the stories of their neighbors with a blend of humor and insightful commentary.

The Unusual Assault

The episode centers around a gripping account submitted by Glenn Kimmitt, detailing an unusual and unsettling event that occurred one morning. Between 8:35 and 8:40 AM, Glenn and a friend were enjoying coffee at Dignity Park when a stranger approached them with a seemingly benign intention that took a bizarre turn.

Key Details from Glenn's Account:

• Assailant Description: Male, approximately 5'7", wearing a gray cap and a long-sleeve pucker-knit navy blue jersey.
• Incident: The man approached the bench, feigned a fall into Glenn's lap, and unexpectedly crushed a raw egg onto Glenn's right thigh, leaving a noticeable stain.
• Perpetrator's Demeanor: After the act, the assailant apologized and assured Glenn that "it's okay" before swiftly departing westward on President Street.
• Action Taken: Feeling uneasy, Glenn reported the incident to the police, providing detailed descriptions to aid in identification.

Interview with Edgar Blackmon

Edgar Blackmon, portrayed by Brett Morris, joins the conversation to unpack the nuances of Glenn's experience. Through his character, Edgar offers a mix of empathy, humor, and philosophical musings on the nature of the assault and its impact on Glenn.

Notable Discussion Points:

• Physical and Emotional Impact:
  • Edgar recounts the shock of having a raw egg smeared on his trousers, leading to a humorous take on dealing with unexpected messes.
  • Quote [03:08]: "I actually did wake up, and there was smoke in the house."
• Psychological Transformation:
  • The assault prompted Edgar to reevaluate his actions and responses, leading to personal growth and resilience.
  • Quote [43:05]: "This event transformed me."
• Humorous Anecdotes:
  • Edgar shares lighthearted moments, such as attempting to climb with an injured Achilles tendon and the antics of their twin boys, Matt and Pillsbury.
  • Quote [12:11]: "I'm a pharmacist, okay? I've never climbed a rock, a mountain, anything like that in my life."

Highlights and Humorous Interactions

Throughout the episode, the hosts and Edgar engage in playful banter, intertwining pop culture references and comedic elements that enrich the narrative.

• Pop Culture References:

  • Discussion about John Wilkes Booth and X-Men characters like Colossus and Wolverine.
  • Quote [34:00]: "He'll see. Oh, listen, he's a smoocher. That's the only thing about Nightcrawler."

• Comedic Relief:

  • Edgar's improvisational antics, including mock interviews and humorous interjections about candle wax and rock climbing mishaps.
  • Quote [08:01]: "I think it was so dangerous."

• Interactive Moments:

  • The hosts encourage listener participation by inviting them to submit posts and share their own neighborhood stories.
  • Quote [25:36]: "If you see a post that perhaps we've overlooked on the neighborhap, feel free to screenshot it and send it to us."

Key Insights and Conclusions

The episode not only entertains but also imparts valuable lessons on handling unexpected and uncomfortable situations with grace and humor. Edgar Blackmon's character emphasizes the importance of transforming negative experiences into opportunities for personal growth.

• Resilience and Adaptability:

  • Turning a troubling incident into a catalyst for positive change.
  • Quote [43:38]: "I started doing all the things that I wouldn't do."

• Community Engagement:

  • Highlighting the significance of community support and open dialogue in fostering a safe and understanding neighborhood environment.
  • Quote [66:38]: "Take a page out of Glenn's book, everyone."

• Humorous Acceptance:

  • Embracing the absurdity of situations to maintain a lighthearted perspective.
  • Quote [60:03]: "Shouting not stirred."

Conclusion

The Neighborhood Listen successfully blends humor with genuine storytelling, offering listeners an engaging look into the lives of Dignity Falls residents. By addressing Glenn's unusual assault through Edgar Blackmon's insightful and comedic lens, the hosts demonstrate the power of community, resilience, and the ability to find humor even in the most unexpected circumstances.

Listeners are encouraged to engage with the show by submitting their own neighborhood posts and participating in the ongoing conversations that define the vibrant community of Dignity Falls.

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Notable Quotes:

• Nicole Parker [43:05]: "This event transformed me."
• Edgar Blackmon [12:11]: "I'm a pharmacist, okay? I've never climbed a rock, a mountain, anything like that in my life."
• Paul F. Tompkins [34:00]: "He'll see. Oh, listen, he's a smoocher. That's the only thing about Nightcrawler."
• Edgar Blackmon [43:38]: "I started doing all the things that I wouldn't do."
• Paul F. Tompkins [66:38]: "Take a page out of Glenn's book, everyone."

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, highlighting key moments, discussions, and the unique blend of humor and insight that defines The Neighborhood Listen.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listen. Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good in dignity fall. You're never alone. You've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listen, are we beep? Oh, that beep means we have to go.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it does. It doesn't matter whether we're ready or not first.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, every time we hear that, I.

[Nicole Parker]

Kind of like that because sometimes I'll be very honest. You ever have this? Sometimes I get nervous to start the podcast. Podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I, I feel like I have an intense nervousness. Oh, right before.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then as soon as we begin speaking.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I relax.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you know what? That is true. I do, too, because you usually start speaking and your voice always relaxes me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, sometimes you seize up and you look directly in the eye. You look me in the eye, and then something happens.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then I start floating.

[Nicole Parker]

Float above your body and you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I can see myself down there. I'm like, it's not going good.

[Nicole Parker]

But, but yes, I know what you mean. Like, once I start, it's, it's okay. But I think maybe it's just sort of that, like stage fright or like right before you walk on stage. Sometimes that gets a little.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't imagine what that's like.

[Nicole Parker]

It's very, it could be very scary. It'd be very overwhelming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Many famous actors have staged fright or, or anxiety about that. Well, I think who one of the famous ones was like, Dennis Quaid. I can't see Dennis Quaid be afraid of anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

John Wilkes Booth.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear. I mean, he probably did have massive anxiety. Randy Quaid, definitely. The people I'm thinking of, to be honest, are all Broadway people. That I'm not sure many people would know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think that John Wilkes Booth got butterflies right before you assassination?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh. Wait, this is this because he was in the Theater Now. I did not have this on my bingo card for the podcast today. I did not know that. Two minutes in. I am. I love to sit down. It's kind of like my vision board. I get my. I. I wa. I take. Wait. Wake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You wake up again? Because the first wake up was a dream.

[Nicole Parker]

It's terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does that ever happen to you?

[Nicole Parker]

I. Oh, a lot.

[Edgar Blackman]

Were you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where you wake up in a dream, and then you wake up and realize, oh, come on now.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are you so mad about this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's made up in movies.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm talking about bird. That's absolutely happened to me. I had a dream just a few weeks ago that Doug woke me up. He was like, babe, babe, hurry. The house is on fire. And then I was like. And then I got up, and it was on fire. And just as I was about to, I think, die, I actually did wake up, and there was smoke in the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But here's the thing. If you wake up in a dream, you wake up in real life.

[Nicole Parker]

If you wake up in a dream. Is this supposed to be like a. Like an Inception thing? Like, if you die in the dream, you die in real life. A Freddy Krueger thing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, a Freddy Krueger.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But here's the thing. I put it to you, Joan. Oh, that. When you.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't have you putting it to me on my bingo card either. I had me putting it to you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no, you twist. You were Shabbalade.

[Nicole Parker]

Bingo. Twist.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were awakened by Doug in the dream to an emergency.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As opposed to the house is on fire, and then you wake up and you go, oh, it was all a dream. And then you look around and the house is on fire. And then you wake up again. That's what I mean. Like it happens in the movies.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, see, but what you're describing has happened to me in real life many times, because, as you know, my twin boys were total up pyromaniacs growing up. I mean, still are. My twins, of course, for everyone listening, I'm talking about Matt and Pillsbury. And Pillsbury. Matt and Pillsbury just loved. And especially they love to start fires in the morning. They love. They love to dawn fire.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They liked it in the morning.

[Nicole Parker]

They didn't. It was their. It was their folgers. You know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was their Folgers. That's an old Everyone has a Folgers.

[Nicole Parker]

Everyone Folgers. Sometimes it's real Folgers, sometimes it's fire.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think assassinating President Lincoln was John Woot?

[Nicole Parker]

Why are you wanting to get back to this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know. So I got it on the brain now.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't know you had so many questions about John Wilkes Booth. All right, let's get into it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's just the one.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's talk about it. If you must. Oh, just the one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, just what was what he was thinking? Because he obviously was a terrible person.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. But also probably very damaged. I mean, because wasn't he. He was sort of a hurt people. He had a chip on his shoulder.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true. And it counts for John Wilkes Booth too.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, but am I. Am I correct in that he had a brother as well that was like an actor? Am I remembering this? Oh, boy. This was a real. This was. This was real Baldwin situation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they were more successful. Yes. He was the Stephen Baldwin of the Booth.

[Nicole Parker]

Was he the Stephen. He was the Steven Booth and Baldwin. I love their sheets.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did you say?

[Nicole Parker]

I said Booth and Baldwin, but then in my head it sounded like a company that makes sheets.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Booth and Baldwin. Great thread count. You know, I'm a Booth in the streets, but a Baldwin in the streets.

[Nicole Parker]

Sustainable. What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, forget that now. Do Billy Baldwin and Stephen Baldwin act anymore at all?

[Nicole Parker]

I think I saw Steven in something recently. He was a co. Starring Kirkman. By that I mean I think I saw that he was in something like. I didn't see. See what he was in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

But I. My. If I had to put. But put money on it, I was gonna say bet money. And I got my words with Mitchell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you're gonna put a button on it.

[Nicole Parker]

If I was gonna put a button. If I was gonna put a hard button on it, which would be a snap. I would say that Steven has worked sooner or most more recently than Billy Baldwin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like Billy.

[Nicole Parker]

I feel the last thing he did was sliver. That's all I remember. That's all I remember.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was he. Was he in Backdraft?

[Nicole Parker]

Was he. Yes, he was. He was. Yes. And I was asking you back and saying that's unfair. I was asking the universe for the answer. I believe he wasn't. Backdrop. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That's the one where the. The.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The.

[Nicole Parker]

Isn't it? The one where Donald Sutherland is the. He's the inspector, but he's also the arsonist. Right. Doesn't he turn out to be the bad guy? Honestly, starting all the fires?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I can't recall if I've seen that movie or not.

[Nicole Parker]

No, we're not going to get. I can't do the first five minutes for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no, we're not. We're not going to do that. But it was a ride at Universal Studios.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, it was. And I'll tell you what. I think we talked about this before. I took the boys. They went on it 20 times. They went on it 20 times. They tried to spend the night in there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, if you can spend the night in the Backdraft ride, you win a million dollars.

[Nicole Parker]

They didn't care about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's extremely haunted.

[Nicole Parker]

It's extremely haunted by burnt wood. Who was an extra on the film, I believe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

The only other person I know that had your name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Featured extra.

[Nicole Parker]

But you go there and you just stand on like a. Like a. Like a balcony and things just slowly start to get worse. And then it is. And so hot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Starts out not great.

[Nicole Parker]

Starts out not great already bad. Goes for bad to worse. And then it's pure panic because it is. It's too hot. I'm glad they got rid of it. I think it was so dangerous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it doesn't tie into the movie in any way. Then it's a fire.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. Look, we made a fire.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were. And it used to be the King Kong ride, if I'm not mistaken.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, was that. Oh, but that one didn't. That didn't come after. Or you mean the King Kong ride replaced Backdraft?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think that. Well, there might have been two iterations of the King Kong ride.

[Nicole Parker]

I think so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I believe. First, it was based on the 1976.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Kong. With a very deceptive poster where he's standing atop the two World Trade Towers. So he wasn't that big. He was pretty big, but he was not big enough to be standing on both of them.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then I think it became the Backdraft ride. And then I think it reverted back to King Kong after the disastrous Peter Jackson King Kong movie.

[Nicole Parker]

And then there was a ride that was called Earthquake. Is that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true, isn't it?

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I think it's part of the tram ride.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

I can't believe how much I remember about the Universal Studios tour. We only did. We only did it a couple of times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I've only read Wikipedia articles.

[Nicole Parker]

But Doug loved it. Sorry, Doug. My husband Doug, who, of course is our engineer and also is working on a new room. And let me tell you, there's a. You know, he was window washing last week outside.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's right.

[Nicole Parker]

And we've got kind of a theme going on because he watched this Movie. I'll tell you where he is right now. He's in the. And I can't believe it took this long to get to this. He's in the rock climbing room. Because there's this documentary out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There was not a rock climbing room before.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think there was. Right, babe.

[Edgar Blackman]

No, this is the first.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I've climbed a lot of the rooms. I'm only. Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And I was like, well, you should just actually, you know, make a room. There's a Velcro room. We've had that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, right.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe you're thinking of that. I don't believe there was. It will. Listen. One of our listeners will tell us if there was. But. And if we already. I mean. And by that, I mean if we already covered this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listeners, not fans. And, Doug, I'm only here.

[Nicole Parker]

We never want to say fans.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We know we have listeners. We don't necessarily know we have fans. Can't say, Doug, I'm only hearing you in my right ear.

[Edgar Blackman]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm on the east wing of the house, so I thought.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sometimes you don't know exactly where I.

[Edgar Blackman]

Am in the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I never know exactly.

[Nicole Parker]

So you did this on purpose.

[Edgar Blackman]

So I thought you could kind of keep track of me this way.

[Nicole Parker]

But it's making me feel crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So if I wanted to turn my face in a direction to where you are.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I could feel like I was speaking with you.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. And then I know where you guys are, and I can smile.

[Nicole Parker]

I just feel like you're standing to my right, just whispering. Wait, what did you say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can smile in every direction.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's nice.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a little. I'm feeling a little crazy.

[Edgar Blackman]

I can run over here.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, thank you. So now you're in a more central location because I'm hearing you in both ears.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. This is much more of a balance. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm amazed you're able to do that while you're probably hanging from a. From a what? I don't even. Would you call it a precipice?

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Crag Craig. That's right. He watched this movie. I don't know if you saw that. There was a documentary, first of all, a couple years ago, and then the second one came out just recently. It's this guy named Alex who. Who climbed the whole. Yeah. Free solo. Oh, see, he can't. I mean, what is that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was gonna be Star Wars.

[Nicole Parker]

He did. I started watching it free solo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A Star Wars Story.

[Nicole Parker]

He thought it was another installation you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were doing a little Star wars acc.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. This could be gone forever.

[Edgar Blackman]

Han could ever do what this guy did, though?

[Nicole Parker]

No, it was amazing. And then, so then now they did this. There's a new one called the Devil's Climb where they climb something called the Devil's Thumb. He and this guy named Johnny, his. His older mentor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Devil's.

[Nicole Parker]

It's called the Devil Devil giving you a thumbs up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I don't know how to feel about that.

[Nicole Parker]

No one want. Right? That's conflicting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If he's giving me the thumbs up, are we cool? It must be something bad. The worst, worst trick the Devil ever.

[Edgar Blackman]

Played was giving you a thumbs up.

[Nicole Parker]

They. Yeah. So they. And it's infuriating because this guy, as.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Infuriating as the name the Devil's Thumb, that bothers me a lot.

[Nicole Parker]

This guy. And listen, I respect it because I could never do this. This again. I wanted to say shit, but I get in trouble. I only get a few swear words per season from Doug. He doesn't like it when I swear. But you know what I think? I think it. I think it earns it, okay? Because I can't do this shit. It's really hard, you know? And very scary. This guy has three kids and he blew out his Achilles tendon. And then he was climbing things. Nope. Y. Climbing things. Then he healed it. Then he decided when because it wasn't healed yet. He's like, what can climb in a boot? So he climbed in the boot and then he slammed it against the rock. He, he, he, he broke. He blew out his Achilles tendon. Three, three days, three times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want to tell you this.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm so angry, I can't get the words out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I'm a pharmacist, okay? I've never climbed a rock, a mountain, anything like that in my life.

[Nicole Parker]

I usually don't associate pharmacists in rock climbing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I could tell you right now, what.

[Nicole Parker]

If there was a pharmacist rock climbing group?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're pro. There is.

[Nicole Parker]

They climb in their coats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They try to recruit me.

[Nicole Parker]

They did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. They're always looking for more guys because they keep dying. But I can tell you right now, having no expertise in climbing rocks whatsoever, you can't climb in a boot.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't do it.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't climb in a boot. You shouldn't. It's like one of those air boots, you know, that was supposed to keep it protected, but. What are you doing? So three separate times. I mean, he's got pins down there. And he decided, oh, I need 50 more days to heal. So for 50 days, we'll bike to the Devil's Thumb for two months and look at it. You can't make this up. Nope. And then climb it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's how long it takes to get there.

[Nicole Parker]

That's how long it takes to bike there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought it was gonna be a comm. We'll go every day, take a look at the old thumb, and then go back home.

[Nicole Parker]

Take a look at the old thumb.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Devil's Thumb, stupid.

[Nicole Parker]

I really was unprepared for you to be so annoyed by the name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't start with devils and end with thumb.

[Nicole Parker]

It's because. It's. Because it's a. It's five peaks, right? It's five mountain peaks, and they each. It's kind of like a hand. And then the thumb is obviously the biggest one. I think that's why they called it that. The first two is which. Which one and which two? And then it's the cat ears and then it's the Devil's Thumb.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

You're so. Ma. No, you're so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's not a hand. That's not a hand. If. If two things are witches, two other things are ears, and one thing is a thumb. No, the whole.

[Nicole Parker]

The whole.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The whole range has to be hand themed. It has to have a single theme.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so then give me. What. What. What should the names be? What would you name it? If you start with the Devil's Thumb and. And we're.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're doing well, I'm not gonna. I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

I deny that you don't start. Number one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not start with.

[Nicole Parker]

I know you. You're a pointer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I' finger counter through and through. Number one is the index finger. Always and forever.

[Nicole Parker]

Always and forever. You're not a coach or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not a coach or European.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. We are just shoving our thumbs up in the air as much as possible. Okay, so what would you call them then?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so if they're. If they're. Let's start with witches.

[Nicole Parker]

Great. Let's start with witches.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so you got. Obviously, when you're looking at them, okay, you have the Wicked Witch of the west and the Wicked Witch of the East.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then you fill in the directions from them.

[Nicole Parker]

To be fair, they might call it the east witch and the west witch. I could be wrong, but they might. They might have gotten that right for you. But you don't like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But they're next to each other.

[Nicole Parker]

They are next to each other. Yes, that does make sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm saying if you're looking at a range and they each have individual names, theme it. So then it's the Pinky and the thumb are the east and west witches, right?

[Nicole Parker]

I guess. Right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, sir. Oh, my God. He's. You know what he did? He grabbed me by the shirt and he shook me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, Joan, I was kidding, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

Burns, you have never made. You never laid hands on me like that before.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I realized. I realized how ridiculous I sounded. And I was doing a bit and I apologize. I didn't mean to startle you.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I just have to straighten out my blouse.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Burnt at a strike one.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. Don't. Doug is going to come for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Obviously, I meant no disrespect to Joan or to you or to your household. Not want to get to strike four.

[Nicole Parker]

And he's been working at four.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What sport is this?

[Nicole Parker]

Rock climbing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that guy's got one more Achilles tendon tear, and then that's it.

[Edgar Blackman]

This.

[Nicole Parker]

He's got really strong hands. He's. He's chalked up all over the place. There's chalk prints everywhere.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Covered in chalk.

[Nicole Parker]

He's covered in chalk or you just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cover the entire body in chalk?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, he does the thinking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? Why not?

[Nicole Parker]

Why not?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nice and dry.

[Nicole Parker]

It's nice and dry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's nice in the summertime.

[Edgar Blackman]

Took it from the billiard room.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. He took it from the billiard. So it's all blue chalk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you look like Dr. Manhattan. And are you new, Doug? Am I correct in doing that?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God, I knew.

[Edgar Blackman]

It's free solo time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doing this the right way. Do you think that should replace freeballing as free balling? Replace going commando.

[Nicole Parker]

He's now going to want to sing it. He's going to sing the Tom Petty song. Yep. There you go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug. That was.

[Nicole Parker]

There. It's better. That's better.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So then you have.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, we're back on this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In the center, which is the. The middle finger.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. You're basically getting the middle finger, which I believe serves as the cat ears. But you don't want cat ears.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I didn't name it. Some person who lives in Alaska named it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's right.

[Nicole Parker]

It's in Alaska.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Why don't they just secede? They're one of those places, you know what I mean? They're like, we're different.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't have an opinion on Alaska.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Be your own country, you weirdos.

[Nicole Parker]

The opinions of Alaska. That burn has do not reflect the opinions of the podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think they do, though.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm comfortable putting that on the podcast.

[Nicole Parker]

Babe, what do you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All that aside, welcome to the neighborhood. Listen, this is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. I am one of your hosts. My name is Burnt Me Apede. I'm a pharmacist here at Dignity Falls.

[Nicole Parker]

Not a climbing pharmacist.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not a climbing pharmacist. My feet are firmly on the ground.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. And with me, as always, is Joan Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dignity Falls and leading amateur thespian.

[Nicole Parker]

Leading amateur thespian. Upgrade.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, you're the. You're the. Everyone knows you're the star.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh. I don't know about that. It's been a minute. I had to take a break, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. You had a little sabbatical.

[Nicole Parker]

I had a little sabbatical. So I was trying to do my one woman Hamlet, which I called Hurlit, and then I decided it needs to be a musical.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And I just been struggling with the songs ever since you told me that Gilligan's island got. There was an episode of Gidget. No, not Gidget's Island.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gidget's Island.

[Nicole Parker]

Gilligan's Island. That. That did a lot of songs, but they were all to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan songs because they were probably. What's it called? Free domain. They were public domain.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Public domain. There were some class there, I don't think.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, there was Carmen. That's right. That's right. So I don't know. And then I've just been so busy with Matt and Pillsbury and their chick Fil, a pilot, and about pranking your parents.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How's that going, by the way?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, they're still in post and they like to. They think they. They are like, oh, we're like, you, mom, after we had kids. I'm like, that's not. That's postpartum. This is not the same thing. Okay. But they're like, but the ch. The show's our child. It's our baby. And. And I'm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And are they very depressed?

[Nicole Parker]

They do have post production depression and anxiety, and I make them fill out a questionnaire every time they hang out with me about how often they sleep and how often they cry. Good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How often do they cry?

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? I have hardly ever seen them cry. And the last time I saw them cry was when I told them we had to leave Backdraft. So it's been a while, so. Yeah, I'VE just been busy trying to take care of them and they're all backed up because they've been eating Chick Fil a non stop for like three months.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because it's free. Right. It's provided by the production.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not. Remember what? Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I obviously don't.

[Nicole Parker]

No. Doug had said. He had mentioned it a little while ago. They don't. They're not paying for it, but they think. They just feel that they have to go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, they feel obligated.

[Nicole Parker]

They feel obligated.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Company men.

[Nicole Parker]

They should eat Chick Fil a Chickman up there on Madison Avenue.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

So, yeah, that's just what's been going on. I'm just sort of like. I don't know, it's like a second childhood almost that they're going through right now. So I'm just trying to be there for them. Like I said, this is the most they've ever seen something through. This is the most they've ever. This is the least they've ever set something on fire. And I just don't want to. I want to support them, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you're a good mom.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And that's, that's. I. I like hearing that. And you know, I'm happy for the boys.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, me too. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I've heard from what I hear this Chick Fil, a streaming service, which is real. It's going to be huge.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? That's what you've heard?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've heard it's going to take over everything.

[Nicole Parker]

Who have you heard this from?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who haven't I heard it from?

[Nicole Parker]

That is answering a question with a question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I heard it from the Gangbusters. They were in town recently.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Yes. They just. They're a group that huddles on the corner and just sort of spreads. Well with. Sometimes I think it's rumors, but they just. They get sort of. They get conversation going and they're traveling. Conversation get goingers. I think it's a. It can be. It can be good and it can be bad. I tried using them for my, my two shows ago. For my one woman show to just spread the word. That's right. And. But it got all distorted like, you know, like a game of telephone. It was a bad game of telephone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the, that's the dumb.

[Nicole Parker]

Instead of like someone trying to say like, oh, her shows, her, you know, her show, she killed it on stage and then it turned into like, I killed someone. On stage. And then everyone and the neighboring town of New Barn started talking about it. I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In their weird spread whisper campaigns.

[Edgar Blackman]

Like the Game of Thrones guy. Who did that?

[Nicole Parker]

Who did that in Game of Thrones?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Varys Little.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, the spider.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Little Pete.

[Nicole Parker]

The little bald spider. I think Little Pete was cut from the series.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Little Pete.

[Nicole Parker]

Little Pete.

[Edgar Blackman]

What was his name?

[Nicole Parker]

His name was not Little Pete.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were talking about the. The character Peter Dinklage played.

[Edgar Blackman]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh. Thank God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Edgar Blackman]

Little finger.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no. Little Finger. Little finger.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Little finger. Little piece.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Little p. I. I really do wish now there was a character. Game of Thrones.

[Nicole Parker]

He sounds like the least problematic character and like sort of the really fun comic relief, you know?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, you hear Ty last got shot on the toilet?

[Edgar Blackman]

You heard?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You didn't hear that from me. Little Pete.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Oh, boy. All right. Well, should we. How long we've been talking already?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's been a while. I think we should probably take a break.

[Nicole Parker]

We probably should.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug. How long we've been going.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy, here we go. He's got a repel down.

[Edgar Blackman]

I know. Exactly. It's been 2125.

[Nicole Parker]

That's exactly perfect.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If mankind is still alive. All right, we're going to. It's a reference to a song. We're going to take a break.

[Nicole Parker]

Break.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And when we return, we'll have a guest more with the neighborhood listen after this.

[Nicole Parker]

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[Paul F. Tompkins]

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[Nicole Parker]

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[Paul F. Tompkins]

An iOS mobile app. See guarantee [e-mail] Guarantees for only $100, it could be yours. An elegant, elegant dress. It was worn only once for an event. I can send a video in mess of how it sits on the body size, medium, large. Elegance and elegance. Both are waiting for you. When you try on this dress which maybe doesn't look so elegant or Elegant in the photo, but once you put it on, you will see. You'll see how it sits on your body. I can send you a video in mess. Elegant, elegant dress and welcome back to the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, that was a good one, Bert.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

Joan jumped out of my seat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I can barely stay in my seat.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, and his accent would change. That would be the fun thing about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that's right. He didn't always. He was. He. He's a shapeshift.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A vocal shapeshifter. You look the same every time.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, now we have, as we always do, we have a guest here at the Kitchen island with us. The way the show works is we scour the Neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for interesting neighbors to talk to. If somebody's posted something that we think deserves more attention or if they contact us and say, I need to talk about this. Yes, we put them on. And if you see a post that perhaps we've overlooked on the neighborhap, feel free to screenshot it and send it to [e-mail] and we. This is a submission from a listener. This is submitted by someone named Reese Kimmitt. Thank you, Reese. And this is a post in the crime and safety section from someone named Glenn. An unusual assault this morning around 8:35 to 8:40am So 5 minute window. A friend and I were having a coffee in Dignity park, sitting on benches at the north side directly east of the basketball court and infrequently used chess table. Bit of commentary. A male, about 5 7, wearing a gray cap and a long sleeve pucker knit navy blue jersey. Excuse me, pardon me. Pucker, puckering Davey, blue jersey, walked toward us. Coming from the courts, he hewed rather close to the bench. Biblical talk and to us. And when he was close enough, well, he's supposed to be cleaved. And when he was close enough to me, he feigned a fall right into my lap and he crushed a raw egg onto my right thigh, smearing my trousers. He got up and said, sorry, sorry. A little taken aback and not wanting to escalate, I said, it's okay, it's okay. And he stood up, looked me directly in the eye and said rather pointedly, I know, it's okay. He then walked off. Off, exited the park and walked westward on President Street. Because I'm a narc, I called the cops and gave them an account. If you see an individual wearing long sleeves on this hot day in Dignity Falls, give them a wide berth. Maybe and here to discuss this experience in detail. If, if there is more detail to be learned.

[Nicole Parker]

I know it was very detailed and chilling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not chilling on this hot day.

[Nicole Parker]

Hello.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you for coming.

[Nicole Parker]

How are you?

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm fantastic. Thank you for having me.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm glad.

[Edgar Blackman]

You both look fantastic. Everybody looks really.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's really nice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's very kind.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know that we've ever been complimented like that. Never, ever in our lives.

[Edgar Blackman]

Joan, you're telling me that you're not getting compliments all the time?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he is looking right into my eyes and I am blushing. A little flush. I don't know what to thank. I mean, thank you. What? What did he say? I can't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He said wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow, wow, wow back.

[Edgar Blackman]

Sometimes that's all you need.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So true.

[Nicole Parker]

G.L. agree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So true.

[Edgar Blackman]

And I'm not. And before we move on, I just want to say I don't know who it is in here that smells of. What is that? Cardamom and maybe like a tobacco. Oh, it's very swarthy. I'm looking over at you. Burns, is that you?

[Nicole Parker]

I think it's burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It might be. I did dab a little bit of a candle under my arms before I came here.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm catching it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Oh, I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad. It's pleasant.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cuz this is an experimental thing I'm doing.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

You're just using a straight wedge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I light the candles, I blow it out after. It's a, you know, a little pool of wax.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then just a little quick dab under the arm.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? Wow. You've got wax under your arms.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

Just melting against your skin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it stays there longer.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I suppose when it melts, that's when it really emits the smell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And I, I, there's some concern about it absorbing into my skin, what that could do.

[Edgar Blackman]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But who cares?

[Nicole Parker]

Who cares, who cares?

[Edgar Blackman]

Who cares? The effect is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How bad could it be?

[Edgar Blackman]

Magnetic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you. Well, thank you very much.

[Nicole Parker]

Can I ask a question? And now I, we. Because we heard from you kind like this morning. I'm, I'm, I'm just wondering, did this event happen this morning or is this in reference to something going to happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Recently and we bumped a guest to have you on.

[Nicole Parker]

We did, because you were you. I mean, listen, you wrote a very beautiful email to me and, and I said to Burnt. I think we should have this guy on, but so let us know what the time. The table is. What's the time frame?

[Edgar Blackman]

This was exactly one week ago.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. It was one week ago. All right.

[Edgar Blackman]

Exactly one week ago.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To the day.

[Edgar Blackman]

To the day.

[Nicole Parker]

To the day.

[Edgar Blackman]

To the day.

[Nicole Parker]

So it's an anniversary of sorts.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, happy? Oh, thank you so much.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I don't know. Is it? I mean, this sounds scary.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what? It. It was. Yeah, it was very scary. And thank you for appreciating that.

[Nicole Parker]

You're welcome.

[Edgar Blackman]

I was terrified in the moment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure. It's a very strange sort of. It is an unusual assault, as you said.

[Edgar Blackman]

An unusual assault.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

He had to be walking with.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

This. This had to have been. He had to have. Intent to egg.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

Who was just bounding about town with raw eggs in their pantaloons? It wouldn't be me.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. And can you describe for us maybe just because it sticks in the brain, a pucker knit jacket, a sweater? Mean pucker jersey.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, well, a pucker knit jersey is. Is a jersey where the. The. The pectoral area.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Edgar Blackman]

Is scrunched.

[Nicole Parker]

Scrunched.

[Edgar Blackman]

Scrunched in the center in order to give the illusion of pectoral muscles. It's like, you know those. Those viral tik tock leggings that were all the rage?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Everybody.

[Nicole Parker]

Everybody was wearing ones.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There were sort of a slim, good body thing where it mimicked the. You could see like the muscles and the sinews.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, they were very tight. And they really. Every. Everyone seemed to like that. It. It firmed up and shape. Gave you great shape in back.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it did look like you had been stripped of your outer flesh.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From the waist down. Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Very, very visible man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic.

[Nicole Parker]

So it's like that or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you mean? That's Dugger.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't see him, but he's in another room calling an.

[Edgar Blackman]

Excuse me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, oh, calling.

[Edgar Blackman]

Excuse me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry, Doug. Doug called and. Excuse me. So he can interject his Weird Al version of Paperback Writer by the Beatles.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, okay. That's what that was.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know if that's appropriate. We are talking to the notes.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm not sure they were the original song.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were close.

[Edgar Blackman]

They were.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were very close. Close enough. Really? A horseshoes version.

[Nicole Parker]

Was that the one you were doing, babe?

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay. Oh, yeah. Spot on.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. With a bullet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just works perfectly. That was delightful. But I think that's more of a thing you do to interrupt me and Joan as opposed to interrupting our guest.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, let's not interrupt Glenn, especially because he might have been about to compliment me against.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what, Doug? You miss all the shots you don't take. That's right. So you know you're not going to get any blowback from me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And as proof some that you do.

[Nicole Parker]

Uhhuh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

You will miss some of the shots for sure. C'est la vie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the unfortunate other side of that.

[Nicole Parker]

People don't ever talk about that.

[Edgar Blackman]

No one's talking about the miss shots.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not on a pillow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're a good shooter.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not on a pillow somewhere.

[Edgar Blackman]

It's going to come up eventually.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's going to happen.

[Edgar Blackman]

A lot of shots missed their boss.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, but you did take them, and that's what matters.

[Edgar Blackman]

You took them. And you know what? You know what? Take fewer. You know? How about that?

[Nicole Parker]

I love it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So, Glenn, what did your. What did your friend. You were with a friend having coffee.

[Nicole Parker]

Who is this person?

[Edgar Blackman]

So I was sitting there with my friend Brian Jones.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

And we were having our regular morning discussion.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, this is a. This is a habit for you?

[Edgar Blackman]

Every morning, we like to get together and have a conversation. A tournament of sorts.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow, Miss. Say more.

[Edgar Blackman]

So each month, we pick more king. We pick the tournaments king. Oh, I see what you're doing there. All right, so every month we pick a thing, and then that thing will just. We'll have a conversation, and then something will win. So that month it was members of the X Men you would most want to get drawn drunk with.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

And you each are what, debating? You're making your argument for one.

[Edgar Blackman]

Right. And so that particular morning a week ago, it was Colossus versus Wolverine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who with whom would you rather get drunk?

[Edgar Blackman]

Who would you rather get?

[Nicole Parker]

Remind me of who Colossus is. I'm sorry. I know I have twin boys. I should know them all, but I don't remember.

[Edgar Blackman]

Don't worry about it.

[Nicole Parker]

You're making me feel so good about this. You know, you did the opposite of whatever everyone else says, which is, oh, my God, you know, a colossal. And instead, you're leaning in. You're giving me grace. I really appreciate this.

[Edgar Blackman]

Well, how could I expect you as busy as you were?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh, I can't. This is Doug. I hope you're taking notes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Strike one, pal.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, is that.

[Nicole Parker]

I would know. You're fine. I think you should be taking notes, babe.

[Edgar Blackman]

All right, so strike one, Doug. We're talking about our second class strike. Strike two for me, because strike Two for my thoughts and strike one for my actions.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I'm losing track of all the strikes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay, so, Colossus.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, Colossus.

[Edgar Blackman]

Pyotr Rasputin. He's Russian.

[Nicole Parker]

Got it.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay. And his power is that he turns his body into steel. Okay, so if you've seen a guy turn into steel in an X Men.

[Nicole Parker]

Have you ever seen that walking down the street?

[Edgar Blackman]

And then Wolverine. Everybody knows.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, of course everyone knows. So, wait, now, who did you choose?

[Edgar Blackman]

Colossus.

[Nicole Parker]

You chose Colossus? And what were your. What were you. What was your reasoning?

[Edgar Blackman]

Wolverine. Wolverine will kill you.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it will kill you.

[Edgar Blackman]

Well, you know, Wolverine has got hundreds of years of trauma built into his little body.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Edgar Blackman]

And then he gets drunk and doesn't really handle it well. And he also has claws sticking out of the back of his hand. So I say, why don't we drink with the protective poet artist?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he's a poet, too?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's a sensitive soul.

[Nicole Parker]

That's nice. Too powerful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If I may. I don't know if Brian made this point.

[Edgar Blackman]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wolverine, of course, has a mutant healing factor.

[Edgar Blackman]

Absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's this thing that you're born with, right? Everything else, they. They. Of course, they tampered with the skeleton.

[Edgar Blackman]

Well, let me just stop you there. They did not give him claws. They actually coated his bone claws with adamantium.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, he had bone claws?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

You. We learned this in the Fatal Attraction storyline where Magneto ripped the. The. The adamantium out of Wolverine's body.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, terrible, terrible, terrible.

[Edgar Blackman]

He got it back.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, good for him.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did he want it back?

[Edgar Blackman]

He didn't. But Apocalypse turned him into an engine of death. And he was like, the bones ain't working.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But now he also. So he has the mutant healing factor.

[Edgar Blackman]

He does have the mutant healing factor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wouldn't that prevent him from getting Trump?

[Edgar Blackman]

It makes it very difficult, but still.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I didn't even think. Really hammer.

[Edgar Blackman]

You got to really hammer that thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to drink so much in such a short amount of time.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like doing that when you're doing that shot of beer a minute thing. If you're Power hour.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, we should do that when we're done with this.

[Nicole Parker]

That would be kind of fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's been a while.

[Edgar Blackman]

That would be great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wouldn't mind doing anything.

[Edgar Blackman]

Do you do the one that. Where you have to do a. A shot of tequila every 10 minutes?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. Why was that folded in? Guess who came up with that? The person who Secretly was an alcoholic.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course. Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so now everybody else was fine and he said, you know what?

[Edgar Blackman]

You know, it's fine. Okay, guys, shout out tequila on the tens. We always did it where at the end of the hour you get a, a big glass of the Martinelli's apple cider.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh. Almost as a reward. How big for surviving.

[Edgar Blackman]

It's just so delicious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Almost as a reward.

[Nicole Parker]

What we need to get back to is how he got. First of all, I want to know, did you get the egg stain out of your pants?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, no, we never got to ask my question.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, oh, I'm sorry, what was your question?

[Edgar Blackman]

Did Brian make the point?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What, what was Brian's reaction action to all this?

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay, so the guy, he fought, he, he falls in such a conspicuous way, almost as if he had done it before.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Where you could see him getting closer to us and it felt like he was going to ask us like, like a. Hey, are you, are you voting? And then, and I'm like, it's 8:30 in the morning, don't do this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know, yeah, absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

But no, it was sort of inviting and like he was going to ask a question.

[Edgar Blackman]

It felt like he was too close.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

To where we were sitting.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

To not be approaching us, to not say something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who wants to deal with this between 8:35 and 8:40?

[Nicole Parker]

Especially when you're having a tournament of, of a conversation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ideas. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Ideas. Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

That's not the time. Sitting with our coffees.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you in the same place? Is the same location every single week?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Same bench.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, same bench.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, I like that.

[Nicole Parker]

I listen to.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. But you, but you had never seen this individual before?

[Edgar Blackman]

Never.

[Nicole Parker]

That is interesting to me. Eat.

[Edgar Blackman]

Terrifying.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

I see all the same. We see all the same people every.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Edgar Blackman]

Every week.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All the same people. So when a new person comes in.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's alarming.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, you see all the same walkers.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you give us some of them? Can you give us some of the OGs?

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, okay. So you know Laura and her sister Janette.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I have heard of that.

[Edgar Blackman]

The Clark sisters, Laura and Jeanette Clark. They love to walk. They're doing great too. Jeanette just got her hip replaced. She's moving in gray.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They have psoriasis on opposite arms.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. That is so bizarre.

[Edgar Blackman]

It's the only way you can tell them apart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

They are a perfect match.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they know when you're doing it too. You got take a quick glance.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't look at that. Or they will, there will. They will wear sweaters to mess with you. Yeah, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you have a problem like immediately differentiating right from left when you're looking at the object opposite, boy, they'll catch you.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh yeah. They say gotcha. Yeah. So you got the Clark sisters. Who else?

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay, the Clark sisters. There's the, there's the early morning skateboarders.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Edgar Blackman]

So I don't know if a lot of people realize this, but in Dignity Falls, there's a group of dads who skateboard.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

But they, they, they, they do it so early so as to not be razzed by any teens that may wake up around 11.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely. And their wives definitely don't know. They get up before they every.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you see them, they make you promise not to tell their wives. They call themselves the slap daddies.

[Edgar Blackman]

Barely, Barely executing a single ollie out there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They move. I've never seen anyone move so slowly on a skateboard as these guys.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm afraid to not be there when they're there cuz I'm, I'm like. So several of them are going to get hurt.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We've all called 911 for the slap.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At some point.

[Edgar Blackman]

Get some merch.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So is there anyone else that you, you, you, you like to sort of always see? It makes you feel sort of like all is right in the world.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh. Oh, car. Carolyn. Rick. Carolyn, Rick. They just had triplets.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yes, that's right.

[Nicole Parker]

The Rick triplets.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh man. Yes. Is it? Well, that's what, that's what their handle is on Instagram because she's making so much money off of just Rick and Carol.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Rick. They triplets.

[Nicole Parker]

Rick and Carol. Rick.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Richlets.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. Richard, Rick. I don't know why he wants to go by Rick, but I love it. Rick. Rick is pretty sweet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I sort of admire it.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, yeah. He's leaning hard.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As opposed to having to try to avoid that all your life. Yeah, I fight it.

[Nicole Parker]

They're gonna do the making your superpower.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're gonna do it anyway.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, we're gonna do it anyway. And then of course, it's where they're. They're very, very popular on Instagram.

[Edgar Blackman]

You gotta follow those kids.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you remember when he put a single kaiser roll on everybody's doorstep one Halloween with a note that said, you've been Rick. Rick rolled.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what the scary thing was? Was that he put the paper on the inside and I was like, don't touch this.

[Nicole Parker]

I took a bite when you did it. Of course Doug did. Doug.

[Edgar Blackman]

I copped up the paper, and then.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God.

[Edgar Blackman]

Egg on my. My face.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sandwich.

[Nicole Parker]

And thank you for that segue back to Glenn's pants. So you said you didn't get the stain out?

[Edgar Blackman]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Edgar Blackman]

Well, you know what? I didn't want to destroy the evidence.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, for. What did you bring them? Exactly. So what?

[Edgar Blackman]

I said that, and Brian was like, gross. And I was like, sir, it's exactly the same thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a perfect comparison.

[Nicole Parker]

It is nearly perfect.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm like, don't touch it.

[Nicole Parker]

Nearly identify Nicole. So then what have you done with these pants? Have you take. Are you going to take legal action? What. What. What's happening?

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm going to tell you something.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. He's leaning in again. He is so close to my face. It is very strange.

[Edgar Blackman]

Is. Is it important that the. That the egg incident happened? Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

Is it important that I lost one of my favorite pairs trousers? Yes. Okay. But let me tell you something. This event transformed me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Edgar Blackman]

This man looked at us. Well, he looked at me.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

And he looked at me right in my eyes, and he said, I know. It's okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that part was really. The part that was chilling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Edgar Blackman]

And even now, I get emotional just thinking about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, are you okay? Do you need a minute?

[Edgar Blackman]

You know. Well, let me just take a deep breath.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. There was also that time that, you know, for Halloween, he made, like. Rick made a sort of, like, little cart to tear the triplets and call it a Rick Rickshaw.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, that was cute, though.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, how are you feeling? Better now.

[Edgar Blackman]

But it was very.

[Nicole Parker]

I agree.

[Edgar Blackman]

I was like, I don't know if y'all can do that.

[Nicole Parker]

It was not good. I don't know if people were upset.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, yeah. The accent was unnatural.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God, I was shocked he did that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you remember the other Halloween where he dressed up as a mongoose and he was Ricky. Ricky Tiki Tavi. And I said, why not Ricky? Ricky Ticky Tiki Tavi.

[Nicole Parker]

Tavi.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I agreed at me and walked away.

[Nicole Parker]

Because he knew you were right, and he knew that he had just. He hadn't thought it through.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, well.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, you know, one time he said he was gonna just go around spouting conspiracy theories and go as Ricky Schroeder, and I was like, no one's gonna tell the difference.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no.

[Edgar Blackman]

No one's gonna tell the difference, bro.

[Nicole Parker]

Also, he bears a striking resemblance.

[Edgar Blackman]

Too close. Not even. No effort. No effort.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No effort.

[Nicole Parker]

No effort. Oh, okay. So. So you're talking about how this moment really got to you.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

So then go on.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay. So the. The. The thought of this man who clearly egged me on purpose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Edgar Blackman]

To say, I know it's okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

As I'm trying to tell him that it's okay. As he's apologizing to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

And I thought, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Okay. I'm okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

I can do what I want to do. Right. If this guy can just get up in the morning and egg people's pants. So you know what I started doing?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is. This is going a different way than I thought. Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

I started doing all the things that I wouldn't do.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. Wow. For. On this podcast we call a Such ass, which is providing examples. So what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. We got to call it such as.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, okay. Okay. So you know how. How the. The Dairy Queen. That's over there on Bill Clinton Nav.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's Kwe.

[Edgar Blackman]

N. Not. Not Affiliated.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Affiliated.

[Nicole Parker]

That's our. Hey, D. Queen.

[Edgar Blackman]

I love it there.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's fun.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. So there. You know how the ballet. Ballet. The. The adult ballet class loves to go there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And they really do.

[Edgar Blackman]

And get Sundays after class.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the instructors hate that.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please stop eating sundaes every week.

[Edgar Blackman]

They think it's counterproductive. But I say, hey, you're an adult doing ballet.

[Nicole Parker]

Do what you want. You already are.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm trying to be like you. Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So you go over the Dairy Queen.

[Edgar Blackman]

And I walked and I walked up to Joanne Wilson Williams. Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

The Bo Derek of Dignity Falls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, she still got those cornrows.

[Edgar Blackman]

Which I keep telling her it was a time, ma'am.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not. But not anymore.

[Edgar Blackman]

It's not doing what you're thinking with the beads. I'm like, it's not doing what you think it's doing. But I don't care.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't care if you went up.

[Edgar Blackman]

To Joanne and I said, look, I don't know if anything could be as sweet as Dairy Queen, but you're pretty close. And then you know what I did burnt? I left.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You just said that and walked out.

[Edgar Blackman]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just like the eggman.

[Nicole Parker]

Just like. Because, you know, it's okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

That's what I call.

[Nicole Parker]

I know that's going to know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's going to take it from me.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I knew that would set. Doug. That's two. Joan Burnt.

[Edgar Blackman]

You could sing it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you can just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That one.

[Nicole Parker]

Burnt only sings on one note. He can do several songs of Barbara Ann keys on Thin Eyes. Right.

[Edgar Blackman]

That's actually. That's a better version. Oh, okay. I thought that was going a different direction then you. I thought we were doing Blue Moon.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, it is what it says. That's what you can do.

[Edgar Blackman]

The same. Same song.

[Nicole Parker]

It is the same song.

[Edgar Blackman]

What a tragedy.

[Nicole Parker]

Different sound with the bar.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, man, I thought that was so original.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I gotta. I gotta put together a medley.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I definitely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Medley of all the songs.

[Nicole Parker]

We're definitely going to do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Some of them, unfortunately, just parts of songs.

[Nicole Parker]

They really are. I mean, in some cases, three notes.

[Edgar Blackman]

The best parts. The parts we all cherish.

[Nicole Parker]

So wait, I am kind of obsessed with this, because it's not. First of all, you took me on a journey. And again, he looked deep in my eyes when he told that story. And so he said this amazing thing to Joanne and then. Then he just turned tail and left. He just turned on his heels, walked away. She was probably. I mean, her ice cream probably melted in a second. Right. Then I'll tell you what.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

And so. And what's the point?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you looked at her the way you looked at us just now? Oh, I'm sure.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, you think?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't even. Glenn, it's even hard to look at you because I feel like I'm being hypnotized.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what it is? It's magnetic, and it's like he's looking into your soul. You can't look away. It's like a tractor beam.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's very intimate.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it really is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm hoping this is what it's.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are you hoping? What? Why does that mean?

[Edgar Blackman]

You know why. Because before. Before the. Before the exident, as I'm also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, absolutely, you're right.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely.

[Edgar Blackman]

I. I think I was. I think I was too worried about what other people thought.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I understand that. I hear that.

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm gonna come in here and be.

[Nicole Parker]

I overstand that, as the kids say.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Edgar Blackman]

Is that what they say?

[Nicole Parker]

I think so.

[Edgar Blackman]

They say, I overstand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like that's one that comes and goes.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like. I feel like a generation will discover it somehow, and they're like, ah, yes. And then it's out. Then it peters out, and then somebody finds it back.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what? Be different than understanding.

[Nicole Parker]

Overstanding. That. That's what people. That's what people do when they say, It, Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what's back? Bomb.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it really?

[Edgar Blackman]

Bomb is back.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's exciting.

[Edgar Blackman]

A young person said to me, yeah, yeah, those, those shoes are bomb. He wasn't talking about my shoes. Talking about somebody else's shoes.

[Nicole Parker]

But that's what doesn't mean anything different. It means the same. The same thing.

[Edgar Blackman]

It still means that something is really good. Remember that?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I barely do.

[Edgar Blackman]

It's back.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think we'll get swell back at any point?

[Nicole Parker]

We should. That's a lovely one.

[Edgar Blackman]

It's my second gasp.

[Nicole Parker]

That's gas number two.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a couple strikes and a couple gas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We want to hear certain words. Words like swell.

[Edgar Blackman]

Swell. I'll tell you what. So's your old man felt pretty swell walking. Walking away from that Dairy Queen.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, did you do another thing just like this? Can you give us another example? Another example? I don't know if that's what you call them now.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what? Maybe they are.

[Nicole Parker]

I think they're examples.

[Edgar Blackman]

Examples of my new excellence.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

I, I, I, I, I returned some overdue books.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

At the library. Right? Okay, okay. And harsh penalties over there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

A dime a day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's why there's only. There's only about a dozen books in the library because people are too scared to bring them back.

[Nicole Parker]

And then you don't bring it back. It's that dime a day. And it's a public show shaming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it is a public.

[Nicole Parker]

You walk through this. You walk through the streets.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, yeah. Gladys rings that bell.

[Nicole Parker]

She does. Yes, she does. It's the only time she does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's horrible.

[Edgar Blackman]

You have to read when you hear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you hear it coming down, down the street, like, oh, no.

[Edgar Blackman]

Somebody who returned their books.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I think that. I think the fatal flaw in the Dignity Falls library is there's no library cards. So you have no record of who took the book out.

[Nicole Parker]

Then you could just remembers. Gladys says she knows.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gladys doesn't remember.

[Edgar Blackman]

She doesn't know. No, she doesn't know. Sometimes I just leave the books back in those shelves. She doesn't know. Yeah, but I, but this time I was like, I'm gonna face. I'm gonna face her.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Good for you.

[Edgar Blackman]

Face her.

[Nicole Parker]

People are so afraid of her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's terrifying.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know, what is she?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I, well, you. Apparently not to you now. So tell us what happened.

[Edgar Blackman]

I have looked into the darkness of my own spirit.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Lord.

[Edgar Blackman]

And, and you know what I found? I found that eggs can break. But I cannot think about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Wow.

[Edgar Blackman]

Shout outs to the eggman, wherever they are.

[Nicole Parker]

Go ahead, babe. I won't take it from you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In a way, you are. Oh, you know what?

[Edgar Blackman]

I just fell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What? Are you okay?

[Nicole Parker]

He's free solo climbing in there. Glenn, just so you know.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, my goodness.

[Nicole Parker]

Fully naked.

[Edgar Blackman]

That sounded terrible. Are you okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I actually think it didn't sound like such a bad fall. If you say I just fell. That was only one. One cranny.

[Nicole Parker]

It was also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, just a cranny.

[Nicole Parker]

It sounds like very spongy fall. If I could just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did. There was something about it that felt foamy.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, very foamy. So now that's it.

[Edgar Blackman]

Foaming at the mouth a little bit.

[Nicole Parker]

You went up to Glattus?

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. And I said, hey, I had these for too long. Oh, they're back. And then you know what I did?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, what? I walked over. Did you drop the books? Like drop, book drop, book drop. But not the kind that we think of normally. It's not actually returning them. Then the book drop. It's dropping the books in front of Gladys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

And it was very, very loud.

[Nicole Parker]

I bet.

[Edgar Blackman]

Very, very big cookbooks that I did not. I didn't even get through them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She keeps it quiet in there. She's got the soundproofing up on the walls.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Wham. Wham. One at a time.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Did people applaud you as you walked out?

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what? There was no one in there. Said no books.

[Nicole Parker]

She didn't.

[Edgar Blackman]

She didn't sprint after you. You know what? I heard she can run up to 30 miles an hour. She very quickly got from around that desk and. And started ringing that bell. Oh, wow. And I was like, I'm proud. You know, it was. I was like, hester pr.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, that's right.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh. The scarlet egg.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, did it. Did. I have. I have a couple questions. Sure, I. I guess, first of all, what has this changed?

[Edgar Blackman]

I also have one question. You asked your questions.

[Nicole Parker]

Then I have a question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Turned it back around on me.

[Nicole Parker]

I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The abisky us back. Has it changed your morning sessions with Brian?

[Edgar Blackman]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Good question. What did you. What was your morning session like? You've only had one since on the anniversary. How'd it go?

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay, so last week, we. After the. The accident, we decided that Wolverine wins.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay. We. We finished our conversation. We decided, you know what? He probably knows a lot of good places to drink. And Colossus seems like the kind of guy who would fall in love with some girl halfway through the night.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly.

[Nicole Parker]

And then he. Le lady's not going to be a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He probably be like drinking too much at a Bennegan. Like, I never do this. Should we be bad?

[Edgar Blackman]

Meanwhile, he's wearing a small shirt and he's like, oh, I can turn my arms to steel. Then he leaves. Then he leaves. So. So this morning it is Wolverine versus Storm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's not done yet. You're going through. It's a tournament. Of course, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

So that a new person battles the previous winner. Got it, got it, got it. We.

[Edgar Blackman]

We believe that the best. We believe. We believe that the best person to have to go get drunk with in the X Men is Jean Grey. But so that she's. She's the final. At the end of that she'll Beautiful. So right now Wolverine has to get past Storm.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, that did not. He didn't.

[Edgar Blackman]

No, wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Storm did not get past Wolverine.

[Edgar Blackman]

Storm is better to.

[Nicole Parker]

Storm is better get.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I agree.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I agree.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I would think so.

[Edgar Blackman]

She's low key. Wild as. Yeah. Used to be a pickpocket. It's a straight thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Edgar Blackman]

Changed her hair like 14 times.

[Nicole Parker]

Nothing wrong with that. That's a lady after my own heart.

[Edgar Blackman]

Mohawk. Storm, please. Getting into it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so then now you. So this what I. So this is what you just. This. The conversation is. What you just had was that Storm wins.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

How does that. So, so does. Do you feel like if this exit and hadn't happened that Wolverine would have continued to win? Is this what you're saying? Is that this changed everything or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or.

[Nicole Parker]

Or did it change nothing? It's just that you're.

[Edgar Blackman]

It didn't change. It didn't change that. What it changed was, you know, the conversation would still be the same. I think we were just. I was more sure that it is Storm. And I think I've. I've. I've kind of put my foot down and I was like, look, Wolverine won last week. There's no way you get all of the fun of Wolverine with none of the damage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly. You know, danger of being.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The weather. So it's always. You can sit outside if you want.

[Edgar Blackman]

Please.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No matter what time of the year it is.

[Edgar Blackman]

Can I get a little mist?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Maybe you want to be inside and have it be raining outside, which is nice.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a vibe English pub.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

Or An Irish pub or an Irish pub feels the same.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Welsh pub.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. Okay with that. Now, you had another question.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, yeah, and then you had a question. So let's do your other.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One other question was, and this is the sense I'm getting, do you feel more grateful to this mysterious eggman Goo.

[Nicole Parker]

Goo goo Joo than you do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Upset. Were you upset first? And then you realize I've got a whole new lease on life because of this experience.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what? The person I'm the most upset with is myself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't see that coming.

[Edgar Blackman]

For calling the cops.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, that's right. You did call the cops. And what did the cops on what.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They did when you said someone pulled. Smashed an egg on my leg?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did they say?

[Edgar Blackman]

You're not going to believe this. They were less than helpful.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you're kidding.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, they said, well, what do you want us to do about it? And I was like, look out for the guy walking around with pockets full of eggs. He should be easy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's in a navy pucker nit jersey I've given you.

[Edgar Blackman]

He's five foot seven. I'm giving you all perfect details, Mr. Police.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I gave you all the clues.

[Nicole Parker]

Where is that sketch artist rendering?

[Edgar Blackman]

I could have done this. Right, but that's your job. I don't want to. I'm not needed. But maybe I am needed. In any case, this town needs a hero.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, look right at me again when he said that.

[Edgar Blackman]

All right. And then. So then they. They were not helpful. They said you can come down and you can fill out a full report.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I love when they say it like you're. It's a. It's a. It's a. A fun thing for you to do.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like it's an invitation. Oh, you can come down and fill out a report.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, I love it down there.

[Nicole Parker]

You can go do more work for the thing that happen to you. Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

Don't you know we have free Tootsie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Roll pops in addition to us doing nothing? Why don't you.

[Edgar Blackman]

Why don't you do extra work?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

Come down to where we at.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah. You come and then you do it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why don't you put something we can ignore in writing?

[Edgar Blackman]

We. We weren't gonna go after him. But then once you filled this out, we were like, we must.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Edgar Blackman]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

So you did that. Did you do that?

[Edgar Blackman]

No, I did.

[Nicole Parker]

You didn't. Good for you.

[Edgar Blackman]

No. Once I really.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe that was that first moment of sort of, you know, not. Not just Doing what people in charge want you to do. You know what I mean? That first refusal started you on the path.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, maybe that is it. And that's the very first nugget.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

I thought it was wearing those shorts for the rest of the day and their fines, but.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, no, listen, I don't know. I'm not on your journey, but I know you had a question, but this is sort of in reference to the policing because you did say that you saved the pants for evidence.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

So what are you going to do? What does that mean still?

[Edgar Blackman]

Well, for me, it means evidence that I am new.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so this is just like now. It's now a symbol.

[Edgar Blackman]

It is, it is the. It is the ripped pants of the Incredible Hulk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what.

[Nicole Parker]

Ah, you see what I'm saying? Yes, absolutely. No, I watched that show. Absolutely.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one, yeah, that's the one I was referencing. I know, the one we all watched.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. I like to. But yes, when I think of that, I think of him in those white jeans. Oh, there was an episode where he was. David Banner was in white.

[Nicole Parker]

You already remember. You. You always remember a very obscure episode of a television show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it's. It's a nice color contrast, you know, for sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Green and white.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Green really pops. You think of summertime.

[Edgar Blackman]

Really sets off those thighs.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, sure does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like what?

[Edgar Blackman]

Also David Banner. Gross.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were too. They were afraid to call him Bruce on television.

[Edgar Blackman]

Believe them.

[Nicole Parker]

I know.

[Edgar Blackman]

Afraid to call the man Bruce. He's a, A beast of. He's a monster. You can call him whatever. What's the, what's the weakest name? Is it Brute? And also Clarence.

[Nicole Parker]

It can't be Bruce.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, Clarence is pretty rare. Clearance is pretty rare. Hey, man, who kicked your ass? Clearance? Yeah, calm something down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Could it turn things around for Clarences all over the world?

[Edgar Blackman]

Sure, sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep. Do you want to do your question now? Do you want to ask your question?

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. Okay, so this is my question. Burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Edgar Blackman]

Who is the X Men that you would most want to have a drink with?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, boy. I mean, I want to make sure I pick one that hasn't been mentioned already.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because I do, I do kind of agree that ultimately it will be Jean Grey because the, the, the drunk prank potential is high.

[Edgar Blackman]

Absolutely. Oh, it would be like, hey, yes, let's drive to my ex girlfriend's house and go into her dreams.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know what I mean? Rude, Rude things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I was saying more like making things levitate in the bar, but.

[Edgar Blackman]

Warfare. Yeah, that's where I. That's what I was thinking.

[Nicole Parker]

As a lady, I have to say I think you're more right.

[Edgar Blackman]

Let's. Let's go over to another ex girlfriend's house and telepathically urge her to call me. No. Is that wrong?

[Nicole Parker]

Ethically incorrect.

[Edgar Blackman]

Fair enough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean if it's Dark Phoenix, of course Dark Phoenix, she'll be down for it.

[Edgar Blackman]

She nasty.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what, who I'd most like to drink with, I think is Nightcrawler.

[Edgar Blackman]

Nightcrawler?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

Preachy though.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He is preachy. But I bet if you get him drunk, I bet he loosens up.

[Edgar Blackman]

He'll see. Oh, listen, he's a smoocher. That's the only thing about Nightcraft.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that true?

[Edgar Blackman]

He is a smoocher. He said he like a little swashbuckling dude, right? Yeah, he is a hardcore catholic. But you know, he.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But he is like one of those guys. If he gets a few beers in him, he gets very tough. Touchy feely.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, he got that tail going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

He'd be talking about some frau line this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're such a good friend.

[Edgar Blackman]

I love you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hard arm around the shoulder. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like leaning in too close.

[Edgar Blackman]

Very, very close. Covered in a little blue fur.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because he's seeing double at this point. So he needs to like zoom in.

[Edgar Blackman]

Hey, really? You ever teleport? You have teleport?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You want to do it right now?

[Edgar Blackman]

Hold your breath.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you have to hold your breath?

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah, cuz otherwise you get the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The brimstone.

[Edgar Blackman]

The brimstone in your nose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's right.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm back. I got up to make myself a drink. That was going on.

[Edgar Blackman]

John Tini.

[Nicole Parker]

You know it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's been a while since I've had a joke.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that was necessary.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That also involves drinking out of a candle, doesn't it?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Wax.

[Nicole Parker]

Would you like like some of the candle?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm all candled up for the day.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I mean I can't play this game unless it's like oh, who you want to get drunk with more? Phantom of the Opera or Harold Hill the music man. Do you know what I mean? That's what I could. That's a game I can play.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anyone choose Phantom of the Opera.

[Edgar Blackman]

The Phantom for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really?

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He lives in the sewer.

[Edgar Blackman]

I know, but that's why he knows how to get into all the spots. Like how you getting this far? This club is very like my guy. We crawled up through the Toilets. You know, the Phantom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't need any passwords with the Phantom. No, no, no, no.

[Edgar Blackman]

And you got. The outfit is very cool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Harold Hill will be very, very angry drunk. Very angry. I think he would be. Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

And let him get on the keys. You get it to, like, a piano bar. You're like, hit them keys real quick.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. He plays that organ.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Little regular crouch. I would love to hear the fact where the opera play piano back.

[Edgar Blackman]

Oh, what a time that would be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Well, Glenn, I'll tell you what you are. You are a singular individual man. I. I have learned from you today. You are inspiring.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's no other way to put it. You're inspiring.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, like someone could have had this experience and really gotten knocked aside by it. Or shook and not shaken up. And you just shout. You made it into your superpower. Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

You could get Shaoqin. Is that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edgar Blackman]

Is that the past tense?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Shaken, shook and shaoqin.

[Edgar Blackman]

Shooken.

[Nicole Parker]

Shaken, shook and shaken.

[Edgar Blackman]

Shooketh.

[Nicole Parker]

Shouting not stirred.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. That's how I like it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's how I like my John Tini. Yeah. So I guess I just want to say thank you because you've taught me how to look at things a different way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

And respond to things a different way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because I think there's. You have no choice, but. But to put yourself in that situation, the situation you've been in, and think, how would I react? And I. For me, it probably just would have ruined my whole day.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. And I'm agreeing with you. I think it would have ruined your whole day.

[Edgar Blackman]

I agree. It would have ruined your day. It would have ruined your day. You'd be like, I put all this wax on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. We have a core. This is great. All right, Doug, what do you think?

[Edgar Blackman]

I won't protest.

[Nicole Parker]

But.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I really protest.

[Edgar Blackman]

Sorry, Doug. I just wanted to get in on that. Oh, you go for it, man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Del Surilon John.

[Edgar Blackman]

Now I'm in a mood for a Doug fashioned.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It's. It's a whiskey.

[Edgar Blackman]

A moment to put that together, but I got there.

[Nicole Parker]

Whiskey, milk, and a little bit of.

[Edgar Blackman]

Ketchup and Red vine for a straw.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edgar Blackman]

Wait, wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You drink the whiskey through the red wine.

[Edgar Blackman]

Yeah. Doug, that sounds absolutely maniacal.

[Nicole Parker]

That's my man. He lives on the wild side.

[Edgar Blackman]

Is. Wow. We don't knock it till you try it. Got to have one with you, big dog.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, there you go. You guys can go out for a drink one time. That be great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One Time.

[Nicole Parker]

One time.

[Edgar Blackman]

One time. One time.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I don't want to make you feel too obligated. Start out just once. You know, you never know how it goes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it did sound like that was fun. You guys could go out for a drink. Exactly one time.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't want either. I don't. Didn't want anyone to feel pressured.

[Edgar Blackman]

That's how many is allowed before it gets crazy. Blood brothers after that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, Glenn, thank you so much.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you. Thank you for the education.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really amazing to talk to you so much.

[Nicole Parker]

And as always, we wish you well. You know, we do wish you well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It doesn't sound like you need our wishes.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I know, but I appreciate the wishes. Thank you.

[Edgar Blackman]

You know, life is a journey, and every step is a step.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's so true.

[Nicole Parker]

So true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's so true.

[Nicole Parker]

No one could have said it better.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If life is the journey, then every step is a step.

[Edgar Blackman]

That's how it works.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes, absolutely.

[Edgar Blackman]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, thank you, Glenn. And we'll be back with more of the neighborhood. Listen after this.

[Nicole Parker]

Hey, everybody, this is Joe cotton shirt for $15. I have one large, two extra large cotton shirt, brand new, $15 each. As you can see, it says, money is freedom, wealth is health. I mean, I don't. If you need that explained to you, then I know that you're not my friend and you're not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not in my.

[Nicole Parker]

My wealth bracket. Okay? But I. I pass these out to everybody I meet and I started realizing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What am I doing?

[Nicole Parker]

I should start charging for it. Otherwise I'm not doing what the shirt's telling me to do. You know what I mean? So 15. Get them now, because next week they're going to be worth 50.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay?

[Nicole Parker]

So don't forget, money is freedom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Babe, get. I told you to go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I told. I told you to stay in your.

[Nicole Parker]

Room when I was doing my commercial.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are all these boxes?

[Nicole Parker]

These are boxes that teach you how to live your life correctly. Oh, God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now the dog is trapped in a boxes. Like you built a dog around. The dog doesn't.

[Nicole Parker]

The dog is not managing his money right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, I'm sorry, baby T shirts. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Money is freedom, wealth is health. This is what I always say. It means if you are weak, you will die. You know what? It just went up to $20. Come get them. Are you happy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. Well, Glenn.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh, what a pleasure. Yes, he really was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So often we talk to people and they're frustrating and challenging.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And Glenn was neither of those and.

[Nicole Parker]

Also need help, but don't want to accept help. This guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. These are people. We're giving reasonable solutions, really good options, and they will not accept help.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, but in this case, he came willing to offer help, you know, or at least, you know, provide an example of how you can respond to something in a new, unthought of way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And I hope that we set an example for future guests in the way we received what he was saying to us and didn't try to shoot it down and make him feel like he was crazy or stupid.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We were saying, that's a good idea.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. That's a pat on the back for us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pat on the back for us.

[Nicole Parker]

And I hope that that guest provides an example to our future guests. You know, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Take a page out of Glenn's book, everyone.

[Edgar Blackman]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have time for one more post.

[Nicole Parker]

I believe you have one. This is. This is. Well, it's. Oh, I realize this is going to be after Halloween. It doesn't matter, does it? Doesn't matter?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Because I just think this is kind of funny, and I feel like. I feel like the answer to this question is obvious, but this is from Math Few. And it's. It's a picture of. It's a little confusing. What you see is a picture of, on the left side, one Jack O lantern.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right? Because it was just Halloween.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right, because it was just Halloween. One Jack O Lantern and one small white pumpkin in front of it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Not carved right. And then on the right, another Jack O Lantern. And then a. An orange, smaller pumpkin not carved in front of it. I don't know why. Classic pumpkin, I guess. But why? I don't know why. I'm going to show you the picture in a minute.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

But this says, my girlfriend and I carved these pumpkins. Which is better, left or right? This seems like just the start of a fight.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would you do this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me take a look.

[Nicole Parker]

But you know what? You can all. We're going to post this on our Instagram and you can decide. Everyone can decide, babe. You can. I'll send it to you so you can take a look at it.

[Edgar Blackman]

Okay, great.

[Nicole Parker]

There, I just sent it to you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, so it's one that seems to be sort of spooky. And he's got downturned eye holes and maybe some teeth holes. And then the other one has hearts for eyes and a big smile.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it because we want to. To guess? I feel like he knows what's Gonna happen. We want to guess that the girlfriend did the heart eyes because she's a girl.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't like what this implies. I also want to know why there are two smaller pumpkins in front of them. Why?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

For scale?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know, but I. But you got to put something next to the smaller pumpkin so I know how big that is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think just. I guess it's just aesthetics, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

I'd never seen that move before, and it bothers me more than anything in this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really. Let me take a look at it again.

[Nicole Parker]

It doesn't make sense. Why are these two small pumpkins in front? What? What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what it is. If they. If they were moved in a little closer together, would it seem that. Would it seem that they were more decorative, but because they're placed directly in front that way it's on purpose. It. It makes them. The pumpkins, the jack O Lanterns look like parents.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess so. Is this a baby announcement?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, congrats.

[Nicole Parker]

But which one do you like better? So we'll play the game. We'll play the game that he wants us to play.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What would Glenn do?

[Nicole Parker]

Wwgd.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's what Glenn would say.

[Nicole Parker]

He's lifting up two fingers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm better.

[Nicole Parker]

He's lifting up which east witch And. And cat ears.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joe, why would you do it? Why would you do it?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna approach this from a Glenn point of view.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, good. Say good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which is. Is better. I'm better for having seen both of these.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then I walk away.

[Nicole Parker]

That. And then you walk away. That is a good answer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

I think that's the right answer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think they're both of equal sort of artistry.

[Nicole Parker]

They're good, except for the left one is disturbing because it looks like. What was that movie where the guy goes to talk and then his mouth all covered up and he can't, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hold on one second.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, because I definitely want you to ask Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, when Joan said the movie where the guy goes to talk, you immediately said Pinocchio. And what was that? Happens a lot in Pinocchio where somebody goes to talk. Yeah, but do you feel that's unique to Pinocchio as a movie?

[Nicole Parker]

Do you feel like maybe you answered too quickly before you heard the rest of the description?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I think maybe that one. Yeah, I think that's what happens. Happen.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know what I. What I. I know, but it's like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like a horror movie where someone goes.

[Nicole Parker]

Where their mouth Turns to sort of like. It looks like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Starts to heal over.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's like. Heals over with sort of like sinewy. What is that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know what you mean. And I can't think of what movie it is.

[Nicole Parker]

Me neither. It's sort of like maybe be Juice. It's sort of maybe from Hocus Pocus. I don't know. Those are also movies where, like, people's mouths are bound, but I don't think it's that one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. But it is. It Malevolent is one where people's mouths are.

[Nicole Parker]

You know me, I just hate scary movies. I just can't do them. So that's why I don't like the left one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm glad it looks. You know what? Here's a. Here's a more positive spin.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sort of looks like a harmonica.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess it is. Yes. Harmonica mouth. Listen, every time he breathes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That would be. Honestly, that would be a good Hellraiser guy. You have Pinhead. You have Blobby. What's. What was his name? I can't remember. I used to know all their. I love the one with the sunglasses. That's the one I'm thinking of. He's a blobby guy and he wears sunglasses. Somebody with, like, just their choice chest pulled open.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then you have harmonica.

[Nicole Parker]

Harmonica mouth.

[Edgar Blackman]

Casino Bites.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Casino Bites.

[Nicole Parker]

What's Casino Bites?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Theo Bites the Ceno Bites. That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, what is that? I don't know that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought it was Ceno Bites.

[Edgar Blackman]

Could be.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm going to get up and make myself another drink while you guys talk about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So vote in that poll.

[Edgar Blackman]

It burnt. What's your inseam?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, what's my inseam? Yeah, it's your inseam. But why are you asking that, though?

[Edgar Blackman]

I'm designing some footholds for all of us.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I don't know that. I think we established that Bert doesn't want to join the club.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't want any part of it.

[Nicole Parker]

He doesn't want to do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel that my inseam is very personal information.

[Nicole Parker]

I agree. Especially if it's shouted out from an unknown location.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not going to give details about my body. My inner thigh to ankle, to the whole. To the whole world.

[Edgar Blackman]

Makes it more fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sure that it does. And, Doug, I wish you all the best there. We got to wish someone all the best. I wish you good luck, Doug. Well, that's it for this episode of the Neighborhood. Listen, if you'd like to hear ad free versions and get access to our bonus content. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up on the Maximus tier. And you get access to us watching along to our favorite films. You get us revisiting previous guests and seeing what they're up to. You get somehow I don't know how this is happening. You get episodes of Mitch McNutt's awful podcast.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I don't know how that's happening either.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have to figure that out. Doug, you gotta get on this. How is he? How is he hijacking our feet?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, how is he like?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll look for the evidence.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy, here he comes. Here comes evidently.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, well, thank you very much for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the neighbor listen on Instagram and you can see the posts that we use in the episodes. And I think that's about it. We'll be back next week with an.

[Nicole Parker]

Your mouth started doing that thing where it started growing over. Until then, goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by by me, Paul F. Tompkins and.

[Edgar Blackman]

Me, Nicole Parker and me, Brett Morris.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This episode's guest was played by Edgar Blackman. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the.