Both Kinds Of Memorabilia with Mitch Silpa

Summary

The Neighborhood Listen – "Both Kinds Of Memorabilia" (with Mitch Silpa)

Release date: June 30, 2026
Main Hosts: Paul F. Tompkins (Burnt Millipede), Nicole Parker (Joan Pedestrian), Brett Morris (Doug)
Special Guest: Mitch Silpa (as Edna Cartwright)

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Episode Overview

In this lively season finale, Burnt (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) celebrate ten seasons exploring Dignity Falls by revisiting their trademark blend of absurd local drama, personal updates, and an interview with one of the town's most unique residents. This episode’s main focus: a neighbor’s quest to find both Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe memorabilia for her brother in Guatemala, which spirals into discussions on family history, tall tales, bell-making, and the perils of vintage communication.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Host Catch-Up and Neighborhood News

• Welcome and running jokes: Joan teases Burnt about his traditional greeting (02:00) and their ongoing bit about pronouncing 'welcome' in odd ways.

• Burnt's update: Discusses the AI threat at his pharmacy, including a malfunctioning robot pharmacist that attempted Michael Jackson dances (03:00).

  "They brought one in who started filling pills and then he just went… He fell over. Oh God. He went crazy." – Burnt (03:00)

• Joan's Fringe Festival news: Announces her musical adaptation has been accepted to the Dignity Fringe, performing in the “Rock Cavern,” a naturally-occurring, glowworm-lit performance space (05:06–07:53).

• Doug's home renovation: Describes adding a "Plaza Mayor" to his house—a homemade, European-style courtyard complete with statues (12:27–16:33).

• Doug's whistling group: Shares he was hazed for breaking the NDA of his secret men’s whistling choir by being forced to whistle "Winds of Change" naked (11:49).

2. Wedding Plans and Family Revelations

• Burnt’s wedding planning: The hosts debate ceremony venues: the post office, an underground speakeasy-catacomb with jazz and skeleton costumes, or a boarded-up casino haunted by animatronic mascot Pedro Pecker (19:13–23:42).

  "The answer is marimba sounds for bones. There is a guy playing a skeleton. Okay." – Burnt (22:11)

• Who will be best man?: Confusion over who Burnt has actually asked leads to an ongoing mini soap-opera—Doug, Tonil, or neither? (30:07–33:34, 94:00–99:34).

• Update on Turnt (Burnt’s twin): After an awkward dinner at a murder-mystery show, Turnt declines being best man, feeling he hasn't "earned the right yet" (26:23–29:53).

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3. Featured Neighbor Post and Interview: Edna Cartwright

- Timestamps: 42:48–89:42

Post Summary:
“My older brother is a big fan of Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe. Where can I get memorabilia from both of them? From something cheap. He's in Guatemala, and his 83 birthday is on June.” – Edna C.

Meet Edna Cartwright (Mitch Silpa)

• Unique attributes: A 7'9" gentle giant who comes from a family of exceptional height—her brother Loomis is 8'1", and their grandfather topped out at 10 feet!

  “I'm seven foot nine. I'm a large woolly.” – Edna (43:39)

• Family backstory: The Cartwrights were acrobatic entertainers—her parents, a tall man and petite woman, made a name as the Cartridians, a singing acrobat duo (47:01–47:37).
  • Signature act involved mom “climbing” dad to the tune of “Don’t Look Down, Here I Come… Scratching, scratching...” (75:22)
• Childhood & sibling bond: Edna and Loomis were left home with stoic grandparents; the siblings were close, their bond compounded by being "giant twins" born four months apart due to rare medical circumstance (57:00).

The Flight to Guatemala and the Red Scare

• Loomis’ exile: Loomis, terrified by the McCarthy era (believing his tall communist friends marked him for persecution), fled the country as a teenager and settled in Guatemala. (51:43–53:19)

  “He left me a note... ‘The Red Scare is scaring me. I will be in another country, but to be told to you later. Please keep this between us…’” – Edna (62:24)

• Ongoing: Telegram contact and birthday traditions: Every year, Loomis sends a telegram with his location, and Edna ships cheap Marilyn or Elvis memorabilia. She admits to not being certain of his birthday—“It just landed on June.” (44:52, 46:29)

Edna's Odd Career: Bell-Maker for Birds and Hollywood

• Invention origin: Inspired by a bell Loomis left on her pillow, Edna became a bell-maker, specializing in tiny bells for birds (hence her flock of 73 named birds), and supplied movies (“Agnes of God,” “Chinatown,” “Ordinary People,” etc.) with bell sound effects (54:00–66:11).

  “I'm a little bell maker.” – Edna (54:47) “They wanted bells ringing from when Debra Winger gets the cancer...I refused to put bells in Terms of Endearment.” – Edna (71:13)

• Bell legacy: While paid anonymously, Edna has never questioned her mysterious revenue stream.

The Memorabilia Hunt

• Memorabilia specifics:
  • Has previously sent Monroe’s movie props (ex: leis from “Blue Hawaii”), seeks affordable new items, especially something from “The Misfits” (73:56, 77:01).
  • “I have a Hollywood connection!... But I want something cheap.” (74:10)
  • Dreams of finding “one of Elvis’s socks” as a holy grail (88:42).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On family size, beans, and height:

  “Our family ate a lot of beans, and I think that was why we grew so tall.” – Edna (45:33)

• On giant neck:

  “When Edna moves her long neck, it's like the mystics in the Dark Crystal, if you remember that movie.” – Joan (47:36)

• On retaliating against AI:

  “They keep telling us, look, AI, it's inevitable. It's going to happen. You might as well get on board. And we keep saying, no, we're not on board.” – Burnt (03:43)

• On awkward introductions:

  “To ask a woman in feminine overdrive to recall something from just foggy memory is an act of violence.” – Joan (40:12)

• On self-sufficiency and old times:

  “My parents...were always gone, but they would always remind us whenever they were back about the Depression.” – Edna (74:44)

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Laughter, Surreal Details, and Running Jokes

• Hosts riff on classic TV/parody ads and the oddities of Dignity Falls (05:09–07:53).
• “Plaza Mayor” in Doug’s home: European-style town square, complete with room signage and statues (15:06–16:43).
• Animals with bells and names like “Tweet No Twat”, “Rooftop Agnes," and "Cheddar" — Edna's eccentric flock brings waves of laughter (85:51–87:19).
• Bellmaking in Hollywood: Producers have asked Edna to “put bells in Terms of Endearment”—she refused for artistic reasons (71:13).
• Burnt’s confusion about the Tin Man’s mechanics spawns a heated, silly discussion about movie props, steam, gerbils, and oil (80:31–82:57).

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Important Timestamps

• Glowworm-lit theater, Dignity Fringe: 05:06–07:53
• Doug’s Plaza Mayor explained: 12:27–16:43
• Wedding venues debate: 19:13–23:04
• The Turnt twin update: 26:23–29:53
• Introduction of Edna & family history: 43:25–47:14
• Bell-making & Hollywood stories: 54:47–66:29
• Edna’s memorabilia search specifics: 73:56, 77:01, 88:42

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Tone and Style

The Neighborhood Listen delivers fast-paced, improvisational, character-driven comedy, with hosts riffing on small-town absurdities, delighting in meta-podcast and pop-culture asides, and embracing surreal flights of fancy. This episode is particularly rich in tangents, callback jokes, and good-natured ribbing.

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Final Thoughts

Burnt, Joan, and Doug cap off season 10 with a perfect blend of Dignity Falls weirdness and human warmth, thanks to the guest spot by Mitch Silpa as Edna. From family lore and Hollywood hijinks to the ins-and-outs of neighborhood conflict and wedding etiquette, this episode is a celebration of found family, nostalgia, and the wonderful pointlessness of small-town social networking.

The journey ends on the classic note: “Don’t be communicating communist!” and a cheery group sign-off, promising more Dignity Falls misadventures in the next season.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This summary offers a front-row seat to the ongoing saga of Dignity Falls and its residents. You’ll get all the heart, absurdity, and ridiculous specificity—already craving the next season’s return. If you have any cheap movie memorabilia, a soft spot for towering women who make bells, or a penchant for whistling choirs, this one is for you.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Nicole Parker]

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[Paul F. Tompkins]

METV is America's number one classic TV entertainment network, airing over 60 of the greatest TV series every week. Now MeTV presents the Golden Girls of Summer, showcasing the best of the Golden Girls. Watch Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia Weeknights on MeTV at 10pm 9 Central. Log on to metv.com now to find out where to watch MeTV. Free over the air and on cable, satellite and select streaming services. MeTV is memorable entertainment Television. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some

[Paul F. Tompkins]

streets and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the Ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the Bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good Indignity Falls. You're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us burnt and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen,

[Nicole Parker]

Bert, you did a regular welcome.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did?

[Nicole Parker]

You've been doing Guelcome. You've been doing Quelk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

And I think you forgot you were trying to get a bee in my bonnet about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think I forgot.

[Nicole Parker]

It was really working. You were needling me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was not needling.

[Nicole Parker]

It was a classic neighborhood Listen Needle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was. Joan, I was teasing.

[Nicole Parker]

I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's different than needling.

[Nicole Parker]

It is true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

Needling has more of an edge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because needles are sharp.

[Nicole Parker]

Because needles are sharp.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So go on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is the Neighborhood Listen, the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its many residents, two of whom are talking to you right now. First, I'm the guy who is talking. And my name is Burnt Me a payday. I'm the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls Dignity Falls Missy Pharmacy.

[Nicole Parker]

And that is how you have to answer the phone every time at the pharmacy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dignity Falls. Dignity.

[Nicole Parker]

No one can ever get through it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can do it unless the phone rings. If you make a phone sound, then I can do it.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. Going to. They're going to switch it over to AI though, right? They're going to. They're implementing that.

[Edna Cartwright]

They're.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're trying to.

[Nicole Parker]

Do they have the robot pharmacist yet? I know they were threatening those.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They, they, they brought one in who started filling pills and then he just went, he fell over. Oh, God, he went crazy.

[Nicole Parker]

He tried to do some Michael Jackson moves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He got up and started doing Michael Jackson moves. We were all impressed.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are they all doing Michael Jackson moves?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know. I guess he's the most robotic dancer of all time.

[Nicole Parker]

And they're like, take two with food when they give the consultation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Take at bedtime. I don't think it's gonna work. They keep. Might cause dark urine.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. That's a. That's a common side effect. There's nothing more comforting than hearing that. Starring Richard Gear, I think would be good in that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It'd be great in dark.

[Nicole Parker]

It'd be a gritty story, a great

[Paul F. Tompkins]

site, a movie about pharmacists called Dark. They keep telling us, look, AI, it's inevitable. It's going to happen. You might as well get on board. And we keep saying, no, we're not on board.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, like, like every graduate class of. Of the entire country. Aren't those upsetting, those videos of some smug person being like, well, it's inevitable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I love them.

[Nicole Parker]

Shut up. No, I'm saying I love them too, but it's gross that they're shoving that down their throats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, they're trying to.

[Nicole Parker]

They're trying to. But you know what they won't replace?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's that?

[Nicole Parker]

Live theater, baby.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't think so?

[Nicole Parker]

I've got exciting news. Me with the news. I'm Joan Pedestrian. Because I haven't introduced myself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Nicole Parker]

And I am the top realtor here at Dignity Falls. And at Dignity Falls, I said it like, your, Your thing. If I don't have, like, a place where I'm actually. Where I actually work, you don't have

[Paul F. Tompkins]

a place where you answer the phone and have to say, I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

I kind of wish I did.

[Brett Morris]

Really?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I think I would have been a good secretary. You know, like when I was watching Mad Men, I was like, oh, I want to be that, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Like Klein and Klein. Can I help you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That show specifically, you're Like I wish I could be that.

[Nicole Parker]

I just like the outfit. Not the politics.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Not the sexual.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It seems like they all had a miserable time.

[Nicole Parker]

No, they really did. To be honest, I only watched the first season.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that was the most joyous season.

[Nicole Parker]

And that one where the lady the married over a guy with a lawnmower.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

But I'm also the local actress. The top local actress.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

And I have just been accepted. My musical movie of. Musical musical of the movie. Something's got to Give has been accepted to the Dignity Fringe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is fantastic news. Now Dignity Fringe is the oldest theater festival in America and a lot of, a lot of big shows premiered at the Dignity France.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, that's true. People don't realize that Phantom of the Opera was workshop there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

It was a much smaller scale but you know, it started out as it's. I'm so sorry. Feminine overdrive is really easy today. How dare you. Sometimes I like to cut it out when I can't make names.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know, but this is, but this is I think very human and I think it's, it's relatable to a lot of our listeners.

[Nicole Parker]

It's relatable, it's authentic.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So basically it started out almost as not like a protest, but it was like called invasive theater. Like people were just busting into restaurants and starting a scene from you know, like Hamlet or something. People are like, what's this? Yeah, I don't want this. I didn't ask for this. Yeah, but they were so good, this original band of actors. They were so good that you didn't mind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were bringing a human skull into a place where you eat.

[Nicole Parker]

Not at all. Not at all. And so now it's become, you know, sort of a big deal. People bring their shows here still and I've got a great space. I'm doing it at the Rock Cavern.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's exciting.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It's a tough space to fill, but I feel like we're gonna do good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is. And the thing is because the seats are naturally occurring.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, they are. They're like bucket seats. It's really amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're so smooth. They're very smooth and comfortable. But they are kind of spread out so you don't always get that close knit vibe of an audience.

[Nicole Parker]

It's the space. Like imagine a basketball court, like a gym out of high school.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Hopefully everyone at home has it too. That's how big it is. But then just put like, you know, a person at every you know, 10 rows, and so they're all over the place.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. It's seats 70. It's a vast. It's a vast hall.

[Nicole Parker]

It's vast.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a cavern.

[Nicole Parker]

It is. It is a cavern. That's why it's in the name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The acoustics, though, you can't beat them.

[Nicole Parker]

Beautiful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So beautiful.

[Nicole Parker]

So I'm really excited about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Even the bats pay attention.

[Nicole Parker]

They sure do. In fact, they say if the bats are still, then, like, you've got to hit on your hands. That's how they know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you can't hear anything going, then you know you are bound for Broadway.

[Nicole Parker]

What are they doing when they do that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think they're scolding each other.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, like a tisk. Tisk. Wow. I didn't know that bats are just like us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like if a bat doesn't use echolocation to try and find something like, what are you doing? Also, it's lit by glow worms.

[Nicole Parker]

It is lit by glow worms. Yes. And that's why. Another reason it's become popular, it's very Instagramable. People love to go there and take a picture of themselves with the glow worms.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, a friend of mine, I may have told this story before, and forgive me if I have.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

But I will forgive you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A friend of mine went to New Zealand, where there is a glow worm cave.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he and his friends, they were. They were all traveling together. They got to be on this boat together where they take you through the glowworm cave, and you see them lit up and everything. And then you get a souvenir picture, which is you and your party in front of a green screen, and then they put a picture of the cave that you saw behind it.

[Nicole Parker]

That seems weird. Not the actual cave.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not the actual cave. I guess because you can't take photos in there.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't want to steal the glowworm souls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Because they would just show up as a bunch of worms, probably with a flash.

[Nicole Parker]

That reminds me, Doug loves the glow worms. Babe, where are you recording today?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug is our engineer.

[Nicole Parker]

And Jones. And my husband.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And my husband.

[Nicole Parker]

In that order.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Brett Morris]

Oh. I am Doug from Neighbor Listen Podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What in the world?

[Nicole Parker]

What's happening? This is amazing. This is the final episode of the season. This is sensational.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was that you?

[Nicole Parker]

Was that you singing live?

[Brett Morris]

Okay. Singing life.

[Nicole Parker]

Singing live.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That wasn't a recording of you singing is what I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were you singing live?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry.

[Brett Morris]

I was singing live.

[Nicole Parker]

What's going on?

[Brett Morris]

I'm going crazy. I'm trying to figure out the syllables of that song, how to fit that in.

[Nicole Parker]

How to fit what in?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are you talking about?

[Nicole Parker]

First of all, what tune are you singing? What tune do you think you're sing? That was beautiful Burn, by the way. And I'm sorry, I feel like I haven't talked enough about how. Babe, hang on. Just hold that. Okay, standing by, two seconds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug. Doug, stand by and stand down.

[Nicole Parker]

I, I, I.

[Brett Morris]

Five minutes.

[Nicole Parker]

What did you say something about five minutes?

[Brett Morris]

Yes. And you guys had about five minutes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Actually eight minutes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That time he was able to look up how long we were recording so fast.

[Nicole Parker]

Jeez.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Interesting.

[Nicole Parker]

I've been trying to get to Doug faster this entire season. I really have. I promise, babe. But I just want to say we haven't given enough attention to the fact that Burnt really can sing now. I mean, albeit it is in a very affected way. That's not a judgment. That's not a judgment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It sounds like it. What's good that's affected?

[Nicole Parker]

It's an observation, not a judgment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When does anybody say something is effective, they mean it's a compliment.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, maybe not, but. But, you know, I think it is amazing. And just when you. Just to hear you sing is lovely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's exciting for me and to have this new ability in my life and makes me feel more normal.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. I mean, it's hard to pick. Which was a different revelation. Which one was the craziest revelation? That you have a twin brother named Turnt or you have ability to sing melodies?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, I have some news about Turnt, by the way. We can get into it later.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, let's first go to Doug because he's standing by, and let's see

[Paul F. Tompkins]

if he's figured out what song he was.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Over to you, Doug.

[Nicole Parker]

Over to you.

[Brett Morris]

It's time to say goodbye. Bocelli.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Andrea Bocelli.

[Brett Morris]

Andrea Bucelli.

[Nicole Parker]

I could see the face he's making to make that. Okay, now you're just saying Italian things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Spaghetti.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. This is.

[Brett Morris]

That's how I lock.

[Nicole Parker]

This is fantastic. Content. Oh, that's how you lock in the bruschetta.

[Brett Morris]

Well, we're s. We're. We're whistling that song for the men's.

[Edna Cartwright]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

He's in Lips Together Sing Apart. The. The NDA required men's whistling group. And you. So you were let back in because you were on thin ice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The what required? Oh, NDA required. Very secretive.

[Nicole Parker]

He was. He had real. Speaking of lips together. He had real loose lips the last time he was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were there any repercussions from that?

[Brett Morris]

There. There was. I had to whistle. Winds of Change. Naked

[Nicole Parker]

just sounds like hazing. What? In front of whom and where and why?

[Brett Morris]

The entire choir.

[Nicole Parker]

Ew. What? That seems very.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know if you should stay in that group.

[Nicole Parker]

This is a weird. This is like one of those weird. What is it, Skull and Bones? What's the Yale thing? This sounds. This sounds upsetting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It really.

[Brett Morris]

It wasn't hazing. It was more just. Do you have the stuff to do this?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I will say that they brand each other, and I would see that.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, can you whistle under the harshest conditions?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. I didn't know that was a reference to being naked.

[Brett Morris]

No, no, no. This is a distinguishing. This is.

[Nicole Parker]

So you're singing, but where are you. Where are you singing?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I'm in the. The. The Plaza Mayor.

[Nicole Parker]

The what now?

[Brett Morris]

Plaza Mayor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. The major plaza.

[Brett Morris]

The major plaza. And what you got other countries. It's the. In Italy, it's piazza.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

See?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, so this is. This is a whole.

[Brett Morris]

Spain. It's the Plaza Mayor.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. What does that consist of, though? Like, is it just basically marble?

[Brett Morris]

I thought we really needed a centerpiece to the home.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought that was the fireplace, which we have in the middle of the house in the laundry room.

[Brett Morris]

That's the heart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Well, Doug just missed us, like.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

No, I mean, somewhere kind of a courtyard with fountains. Oh, statues, seating areas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And this is inside the house?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Sort of like an athlete.

[Nicole Parker]

Like a Vegas casino.

[Brett Morris]

Because the way they planned cities back then was all around, you know, back in the old. And ye old.

[Nicole Parker]

Not get too caught up in the time. Well, for. For Doug's back.

[Brett Morris]

Just feel like back in ye old.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

We ran into this problem talking about the Potemkin Village, and. And the name of the leader kept changing.

[Brett Morris]

Our towns and cities are built on these ugly streets.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you know you're passionate about this, babe.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. I mean, not Dignity Falls. We have our own.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Our streets are gorgeous.

[Nicole Parker]

They're beautiful structure.

[Brett Morris]

And it's hard to navigate around this town unless you really have a map in it. And, you know, you have to really have a map to the map.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to want it. Yeah, if you want it, you better get a map.

[Brett Morris]

But the old cities, they're built around plazas.

[Nicole Parker]

A what?

[Brett Morris]

The old cities are built around these plazas.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So what I'm saying is, is there, like, where is this going? I don't even understand where it can fit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Secretly Canadian, because you're saying Plaza Plaza.

[Brett Morris]

I'm not secretly Canadian.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay?

[Brett Morris]

I know that.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, we've established that I don't like

[Brett Morris]

maple syrup at all.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And that's. That's how. You know. That's. Apparently. That's. That's the. That's the test. Can you tell me if you have. I'm gonna. I'm gonna shift away from you, Doug, for a minute because I'm not getting any answers on this plaza.

[Brett Morris]

What answers do you need?

[Nicole Parker]

I. I asked what it's made of, what it's consist of.

[Brett Morris]

How big is it? There's cobblestones.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's cobblestones.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you break through the roof so that there's light shining through and you

[Brett Morris]

know that open doors, open air.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you trying to say open concept?

[Brett Morris]

No, I. I feel like I'm really. I don't know what is going on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry. We really.

[Brett Morris]

I'm starting to feel crazy. We just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We' make you feel crazed. We are. We are just trying to understand it because it's a big concept.

[Nicole Parker]

It is. And I want to know how big a concept it is. How much square footage. Oh, yes, I understand. I really just love saying my.

[Brett Morris]

Or.

[Nicole Parker]

I want to know. Burnt. Do you have a wedding date yet? Because now that everything has, what, a shift. And you have news about turnt. Let's start with turns.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We do. Okay, so we. We've. We've sorted out Doug's.

[Nicole Parker]

We haven't. I just feel like I'm not getting. I'm gonna let him think about it for a minute.

[Brett Morris]

It's like a court. I don't need to think about it. I'm standing in the middle of it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

It.

[Nicole Parker]

Marble. Is it like an atrium? Is it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it fountains?

[Brett Morris]

There are fountains.

[Nicole Parker]

There were fountains. He did say that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, let's not jump down Burn's throat.

[Brett Morris]

There is a fountain.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and we gone from fountain to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's a fountain.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh.

[Brett Morris]

There's.

[Nicole Parker]

That was unnecessary.

[Brett Morris]

Is that how I sounded?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're right. No, Doug, that's not how you sounded. That was all me.

[Brett Morris]

There are statues of each of us.

[Nicole Parker]

Of each of us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Me, too. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Made out of. What are they?

[Brett Morris]

I wanted to save that, but I felt like I had to cough up all the answers.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you know what? I'm glad you coughed it up. This. Now I'm getting a picture of it now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who else has a statue?

[Brett Morris]

The twins. Jaliope.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nice.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Did they.

[Brett Morris]

Banana.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bananas.

[Brett Morris]

Escrow. Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Escrow. That reminds me. Escrow is. He's at the Vets right now. He had to take him. He's my dog. In fact, Jaliah P. Wants to start working there. This is Balls and Talls. This is the local veterinarian. And they. It is honestly the most.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All they do is neuter dogs and they operate on Great Danes.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

It is. But the vets are gorgeous. They are so hot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're very calendar.

[Nicole Parker]

And they. They do. And it is. Honestly, it's. It's crazy to go in there. You can even look at their faces like it is so. And it's the horniest vet you've ever been to because every. The dogs. The animals are. Well, let's see. The short dogs and the Great Danes are really going at it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're just hump.

[Nicole Parker]

They can't because they get neutered. But they're just dry. It's just dogs dry humping everywhere.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

It's like Grey's Anatomy for. For veterinarians is what it is. Because everyone's just doing it everywhere.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they employ one liar.

[Nicole Parker]

One liar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One pathological liar who claims to have had been neutered themselves, but then it turns out they weren't.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep, yep. There was a guy right here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She said, no, I have nudicles. And it's like, how would that work?

[Nicole Parker]

There were pictures of it. There were pictures of her getting the nudicle treatment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Anyways, we have. Okay, so there's a statue of the dog. There's a statue of Bananas the cat. And how did you commission these statues or make them? Jim Skis. Your friend Jim Skis a couple seasons ago. That's interesting.

[Brett Morris]

We had to kind of kneel. Toenail's not in it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Combo.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, no way. Combo. He hasn't done me a favor in a long time.

[Nicole Parker]

No, he promised he would do our

[Paul F. Tompkins]

cable a Gabby statue.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, we could. We could. We could get one. Jim Ski's only got there because he helped me out.

[Nicole Parker]

Has a video. He didn't. He ran away and left you on that ladder.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, but he helped me out with the Plaza Mayor.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he did. He's back now. Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

So I had to. I had to make a statue of him.

[Edna Cartwright]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I get that.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, thank you. That's Doug logic for you. Thank you for filling in the blanks on the Plaza Mayor, but I would like now to turn to Turnt.

[Brett Morris]

I just want to say that there are road signs to go to all the different rooms of our house. So it's a real settler.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think that's fun. Like.

[Brett Morris]

Exactly. Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

New York, 54 miles. Hollywood, 63 miles.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like MASH?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it like, in a video game where you can look at the sign and then you just get transported there?

[Brett Morris]

God, I wish. I can't figure that out.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, don't put that idea in his head. Oh, God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're afraid he's going to develop teleportation technology.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm very afraid.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There are worse things can happen.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, answer my two questions. Turnt and your wedding date.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we get.

[Nicole Parker]

We get distracted, and I'm trying to keep us focused here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wedding date is later this year.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not a date. Burnt. You can't just say later this year. Like, when can I finish? Can I finish? All right, fine. Sorry. I get excited about weddings, and I have not been invited to one in a very long time. I'm of the age where everyone's married or divorced.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're. We're doing a Christmas wedding.

[Nicole Parker]

I love it. Not on Devil's Tower?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, not at. We're going to do it right here in Dignity Falls.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. Which venue?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We haven't picked a venue yet because there's. Here's the contenders.

[Nicole Parker]

The Post Office.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Post. Number one with a bullet.

[Brett Morris]

It's beautiful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is our post office. I think we've talked about it before. It's gorgeous.

[Nicole Parker]

It's gorgeous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you imagine us standing in front of that counter with the. With the light streaming in through the stained glass?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Oh, the overhead light and. Yeah. It's beautiful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they said they'd silence the bell that you have to ring if you have a package to be picked up. They silence it for 45 minutes. So we have a lot of time to work with.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so number one is Post Office. What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Number one is Post Office. Number two is that place where the. The barbershop quartet died,

[Nicole Parker]

right?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And under that is an event venue.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wait, I didn't know about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's a grate that you lift.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, wait. Like a speakeasy catacomb.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like. Like speakeasy catacombs?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, like speakeasy catacombs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Speakeasy catacombs.

[Nicole Parker]

How have I not heard of this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so, to get in, you have to do a chant.

[Nicole Parker]

So all the guests are gonna have to do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They have to do a Gregorian chant to get off.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you know it yet?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, can I hear it, please?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It goes like this.

[Nicole Parker]

I was trying to do Enigma.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't do Enigma, babe.

[Brett Morris]

You can't beat boss.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They will not let you In.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't hear chanting without an enigma beat. Come on. Was there anything better than Chant? Was there anything better than Enigma?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What about Hooked On Classics? Where it would be classical music with just claps.

[Brett Morris]

So wait, what about Hooked On Classics?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you remember Hooked On Classics? I think I do. It was a real thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, so everyone's gonna have to do this chant?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And then what's it like down there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is gorgeous.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is like a preserved post office.

[Nicole Parker]

Gorgeous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, obviously not.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it is. It's a fun venue because it's a combination of catacombs and a speakeasy. So.

[Nicole Parker]

So there's, like, jazz.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's jazz playing and then there's bones. The answer is marimba sounds. There's marimba sounds for bones. There is a guy playing a skeleton. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I knew it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he wears a skeleton costume, which is great.

[Nicole Parker]

That's fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And sometimes he pretends to play himself, but obviously nothing happens.

[Nicole Parker]

And this is for your wedding?

[Brett Morris]

It's kind of his, like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we have the option to have him for the wedding.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But all the entrances and exits, the rooms are just like these, like, sanded out, hollowed out, you know, holes. It's a little Hobbity, too, now that I think about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I see why that's appealing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And it's. It's lit by lanterns.

[Nicole Parker]

That's nice and cozy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. But all the. The problem with it is the rooms are all very small.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So we wouldn't be able to have everybody.

[Nicole Parker]

So everyone's just sitting in different rooms kind of.

[Brett Morris]

While you're getting married.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, hopefully they're not sitting.

[Brett Morris]

There's also very little oxygen down there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, you can only be down there for 30 minutes with a group this size. Because we are inviting. We are inviting 350 people.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. That sounds like capacity.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. A lot of it is her side of the family.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She has a lot of cousins.

[Nicole Parker]

I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And. Yeah. And then the third place is the. The old casino.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which has been abandoned.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Many years ago.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it is boarded up.

[Nicole Parker]

What made you choose this one? Now this one. This one. It stumps me.

[Brett Morris]

Is that the casino boat that's sitting there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not the riverboat.

[Nicole Parker]

The one that's just sitting on a dry riverbed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because the noise of the dragging up and down the riverbed.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, because they have to keep it

[Paul F. Tompkins]

moving for it to be legal.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Make everybody put everybody's teeth on edge. But no, this is the old abandoned casino. This was dignity. Try your lucks. Which was all one word, and it's. It's been boarded up.

[Nicole Parker]

Mascot, too. It was this crazy woodpecker with a patch on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. He had a patch over one eye, and he was also wearing a barrel, which indicated he was broke. He lost all his money.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which I think is a terrible mascot.

[Nicole Parker]

And he had teeth, you know, but one tooth missing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, he had teeth, but one tooth missing

[Brett Morris]

because he. He pulled out his gold tooth to gamble.

[Nicole Parker]

He did, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

That was his last ship.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There was a lot of lore.

[Nicole Parker]

There really was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He came here to make his fortune in holes in wood.

[Nicole Parker]

What was he.

[Brett Morris]

He used to be quite successful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

He lost everything.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. He was an immigrant.

[Nicole Parker]

He came here from Pedro Pecker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pedro Pecker came here from Mexico,

[Brett Morris]

where

[Paul F. Tompkins]

he was a surgeon and a woodpecker. And he came here and he was briefly a cab driver and a woodpecker.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Edna Cartwright]

And then he said.

[Nicole Parker]

But whatever he was, he was always a woodpecker as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was always a woodpecker.

[Nicole Parker]

Never stopped being a woodpecker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Well, you never stop being a person. And he said, there's got to be an easier way to make money. How about gambling? And then he didn't know human gambling. He only knew bird gambling.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Like, you do, like, a slot machine, and just, like, seed. Seed, like bird seed would come out, and people are like, what do I do with this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do I trade this in for cash?

[Nicole Parker]

No, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what you win. Anyway. It's free because it's abandoned. So we're thinking.

[Nicole Parker]

But there is. There was, like, an animatronic Pedro Pecker, and. And that's why people don't, like, walking past it. Because, like, teenagers try to, like, dare each other to, like, go in, because every once in a while, it'll come to life, you know, and do, like, the. The classic thing where he was, like, going around.

[Brett Morris]

Jackpot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Jackpot. Terrifying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Save my tooth.

[Brett Morris]

Save my tooth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Save my tooth.

[Brett Morris]

They say that the tooth's still in there somewhere.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that. Well, no, he wasn't real, though.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not that scary. I'm not scared about a tooth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who would go looking for it? He wasn't real.

[Brett Morris]

You don't know that.

[Nicole Parker]

So. What? Why? Because. Just. Just. Just, you know, because it's free.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's been abandoned for such a long time.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't have to rent it out. You don't have to. Literally. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like a little lick of paint. You know what? All right, just sweep it up a Little bit. You know, clear out the cobwebs.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Well, I will look forward to the invitations. Now is turned invited and why is there news about him and what's going on?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Turnt is invited. He will not be my best man. I did offer that to him. Well, let me go.

[Brett Morris]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So we finally met for dinner and drinks.

[Nicole Parker]

This is a big deal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We did have some drinks.

[Nicole Parker]

Good Cat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did not realize it was a murder mystery dinner theater.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so we, you know, we're trying to have this hard, hard talk. We keep being dragged into the case.

[Nicole Parker]

Terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're trying to give every indication that we're talking about something serious, but it's hard to do because they. They figure, well, if you're here, yes, you. You must be into this.

[Nicole Parker]

And maybe they thought that was your backstory. You guys added something that you were liking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They 100% thought that. What are you two scheming about?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. And you're like, we're having a family moment. This is a big deal. Groundbreaking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Both suspects. And I was like, how does that work? I thought this was all worked out in advance.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I. I, you know, we. We, you know, it was. It was a very strange thing to.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I can imagine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To connect with.

[Brett Morris]

Does he look like you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He looks. I'll show you a picture.

[Nicole Parker]

No, a picture of him. That's a picture of you. That's a picture of me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's so you. That's so you know what I look like.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, that's a good reference point.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, now here's. Now here's a picture of him.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, but that looks like a picture of you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's my exact twin brother.

[Nicole Parker]

Like, exact.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

You even have the same moles.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. That is w. Everywhere you have mail.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Brett Morris]

I just saw the picture. That's amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You still on AOL?

[Nicole Parker]

You got it on AOL.

[Brett Morris]

I have so many AOL CDs you wouldn't believe. I have a great deal.

[Nicole Parker]

A great deal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A great deal. Okay, well, so we. We got very emot.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, especially when we were up on stage and we were having to fight for our lives and prove our whereabouts.

[Nicole Parker]

This is a murder mystery team we have in town, and they go past the murder mystery. Like, they actually arrest you. You actually spend a night in jail.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. It goes on for a long time.

[Nicole Parker]

Like a year commitment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're actually due back for.

[Edna Cartwright]

We.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We. We got a mistrial. Oh, yeah. We actually have to go back.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, What a journey for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They found new evidence. I don't know. Yeah. So. Yeah. So we really. We were first, you know, I think, kind of wary of each other. And then. And then we got on quite well. And I feel, you know, it's new to both of us having a brother. And it was a very emotional and exciting and positive interaction. I asked him if he would be the best man at my wedding, and he said, I haven't earned the right to do that. Oh, we've only just gotten to know each other. Let me. Do me the favor of letting me watch you get married. Oh, what, that gives you pause?

[Nicole Parker]

I think watch you get married was just a weird phrase to me. Just jumped out. Let me watch you get married. It was. It just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, he didn't say it like that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You made it sound very sinister indeed.

[Edna Cartwright]

Sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me watch you get married. Would you like to play a game?

[Nicole Parker]

That's how it would sound in the casino.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And. And I said, I understand, and I appreciate that. That's lovely. And so.

[Nicole Parker]

So he's gonna be there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, if you can hear me, this is exciting.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug, can you hear him?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, I know. Why wouldn't I be able to hear him?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would you do me the honor of getting in touch with Tony and to be my best friend?

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, I'm happy to. Tony Hill's a great guy.

[Nicole Parker]

We're gonna ask Doug to be the best man.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Someone's gotta look out for you, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't even think about that.

[Nicole Parker]

He's just too agreeable sometimes. Doug. He didn't catch that.

[Brett Morris]

Toenail's a handsome guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so sorry, Doug. I've only met.

[Nicole Parker]

This man has nothing to do with how you look. It shouldn't. It's who you spend your most time with.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've only met Tony twice. I can't believe that I.

[Brett Morris]

He's not. He's not very. Very surprising, but I think he's great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Forgive me, Doug. Of course. I would love it if you would be my best man.

[Nicole Parker]

What do you say, babe?

[Brett Morris]

Do you mean it? Because you just offered that to Tony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do mean.

[Nicole Parker]

It was a good turnaround.

[Brett Morris]

He did already say yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was thinking.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Brett Morris]

Well, you asked me to ask him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I asked you. I asked you to get in touch with him for me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Brett Morris]

Right, right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, exactly. And he said yes just now. Like, just now in the last episode.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, right.

[Edna Cartwright]

As you.

[Brett Morris]

Right after you asked.

[Nicole Parker]

But I didn't ask you aol'd Him.

[Brett Morris]

I aol'd him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Aim. Yes.

[Brett Morris]

We're on aim. And I. I sent it all in like little text.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't hear the little door open.

[Brett Morris]

I've silenced it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Brett Morris]

Scares me every time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Smart. Well, this is it didn't have to sound so creepy. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

We're gonna have to figure this out. I think we've been talking for long enough maybe to get to our guest.

[Brett Morris]

Now there's a. We're in a pickle.

[Nicole Parker]

We sure are.

[Brett Morris]

Maybe we'll figure it out by the end.

[Nicole Parker]

I sure hope we do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure. I have a solution and we'll get to it at the end. How long have we been.

[Brett Morris]

Also, I would like to work out by the end the syllables to time to say goodbye if neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, is this. This is like an opera song, right?

[Brett Morris]

You know this song?

[Nicole Parker]

I thought I was thinking of the Madonna song song.

[Brett Morris]

The show is over.

[Edna Cartwright]

Say Goodbye.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know that song. I don't know any of these say goodbye songs. I know you.

[Brett Morris]

I know that song. Hello. That's a lovely.

[Nicole Parker]

That was a song from. What is it? The. The League of Their Own. Yes. It played during the credits.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I blocked that song out of my mind. I've heard it many times. I've seen the movie a few times. That song will not penetrate.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. Okay, this is giving me a seizure.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Oh, that's way longer.

[Nicole Parker]

You're going to be whistling this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what you thought you did.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That we should have recognized instantly.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a hard melody to grab out of the thin air.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you. I think you were doing the scales is what it sounds like. Beautiful song in itself.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, here he goes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it's that one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then Carmela loved it and it made her think of Furio. Yes. Exactly how long we've been recording?

[Brett Morris]

30 minutes,

[Nicole Parker]

everybody. That's a final episode. Seven minutes over.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Super size seven minutes.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Final episode.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, we'll be right back. Of the season.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll be right back with the neighbor Listen. When the neighbor Listen returns. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett.

[Edna Cartwright]

I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that.

[Brett Morris]

Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we host the show what's our podcast here on Headgum?

[Edna Cartwright]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the Internet or you. Like you're surfing through the web, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I like that it's all in one place. I don't, I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something. It's just all. It's like, oh, do I need to go to like a.

[Edna Cartwright]

Do I need another type of website to like, find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, it's all in one place.

[Edna Cartwright]

The video or the audio or like. No, I want it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And you can do all those things. Photos, videos, changing fonts, you know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs.

[Edna Cartwright]

They're SEO tools, which.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know what those are. And their custom domains.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, let's come up with a domain right now.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wonder if it exists. Www.friendsmeetingfriends friendsmeetingfriends.com that's an original thing that we came up with. Friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out squarespace.com headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code headgum. Save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it.

[Nicole Parker]

METV is America's number one classic TV entertainment network, airing over 60 of the greatest TV series every week. Now METV presents the Golden Girls of Summer, showcasing the best of the Golden Girls. Watch Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia Weeknights on MeTV at 10pm 9 Central. Log on to metv.com now to find out where to watch MeTV. Free over the air and on cable, satellite and select streaming services. METV is memorable entertainment television

[Edna Cartwright]

pros.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Save more on what you need to

[Edna Cartwright]

get the job done right. Right now at Lowe's, get 15% off, select custom entry and interior doors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Plus save $80 on the Dewalt 20 volt max 2 tool combo kit. Now just $169. And at the Lowes Pro desk, bring us your materials list and get a quote in minutes.

[Edna Cartwright]

Handwritten, a photo or even a sticky note is all you need. Keep your jobs moving faster and on budget at Lowe's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Valid through 7, 8.

[Nicole Parker]

Wall supplies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Last selection varies by location.

[Nicole Parker]

Hi, everybody, it's Christine. I have a Ryan Reynolds life size cardboard cutout for $40. Life size Ryan Reynolds cardboard standee in great condition, approximately 2 inches tall, freestanding with built in support folds flat for easy storage. Perfect for a movie room, office, bedroom parties, or any Ryan Reynolds fan. All offers are considered. You see, my husband and I decided to open up our marriage well, he decided it was okay that I open up our marriage. And, you know, it didn't go well. It didn't go well. I told him he could take it to the office. I told him he could take it to a party. I told him about a house, how a movie room would be perfect for it. And, you know, we set up dates and I would do fun invites, and only me and Ryan would show up. And you know what? He's so easy to talk to. He is so easy to talk to. Did I mention that you can hide him because he goes flat for easy storage? Anywhere. Anywhere. Anyways, I gotta get rid of it by.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome back to the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, okay. Just had to get it in there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So.

[Nicole Parker]

Welcome.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's welcome. It's fun.

[Nicole Parker]

It was fun. That one was fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's fun.

[Nicole Parker]

Go ahead. I'm gonna read this post, but.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

You really. No, but you're really good at saying the other stuff beforehand, okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because you've never said it.

[Edna Cartwright]

Is that why.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, And I refuse to. We all know this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would you try it? Oh, no. Come on, try it. You know what to say.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Here, here. Here at Neighborhood. Listen, I've never been put on the spot before like this. You can do it here, Neighborhood. Listen, we have a post. We. We invite people on to. To talk about their posts so that we can amplify them or platform them. You don't have to laugh in my face.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

He is laughing in my face.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did turn my head.

[Nicole Parker]

I am put on the spot and I'm doing what he wants in the spirit of. Of season 10.

[Edna Cartwright]

And.

[Nicole Parker]

And let me see if I can do it like you do. And here. Here at Dana versus. Oh, and by the way, if you want to send us a post, you can just email us at. Joseph.

[Brett Morris]

Great. Babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's not actually.

[Nicole Parker]

How dare you? Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Babe. You.

[Edna Cartwright]

You.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You got right to. If you want to do this thing that I haven't explained to you, then go ahead.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you know. Oh, well, then why. Why don't you introduce yourself as me next time, you know, see how that goes. Oh,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think I can't do that?

[Nicole Parker]

We'll see. We'll see. Let me finish. Let me finish doing this. Here at Deny Falls, we take posts from the NeighborHap app. What? Here at the Neighborhood. Listen, look, he's just shaking his head. Here Here it. Is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, I've never seen your face this red.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sweating.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have pitted out your shirt.

[Nicole Parker]

My bra is soaking wet. This happened one time before on the show. They're like water balloons. The bra, the bra, the bra, the bra, the bra, the bra. Here, neighbor. Listen. People send us in posts from the narrative app, and we invite them on to explain them or to sort of raise awareness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Keep clearing your throat.

[Nicole Parker]

I have a lot of mucus.

[Brett Morris]

I don't remember him saying that.

[Nicole Parker]

And incidentally, if you would like to send us a post, then please email it. Why don't you screenshot it and email it to. Okay, you're nodding every time I do it right and shaking your head every time I do it wrong. You know what? It could be. It could be done a different way. It could be done a different way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It could be. It could be.

[Nicole Parker]

So then screenshot it and send us the. Email it to us at Joan Edward gmail dot com. You know what? This came from me saying, could you please do it? Because I was already admitting I'm not good at this. And you said, well, what I would like right now to have happen is to you, have you not be good at it, and I'm gonna laugh at you is what happens.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan. Joan. Well, we're just having fun.

[Nicole Parker]

Some of us are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Did you finish it yet?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She did.

[Nicole Parker]

To ask a woman in feminine overdrive to recall something from just foggy memory is an act of violence.

[Edna Cartwright]

Foggy memory.

[Nicole Parker]

Foreign. It's an act of violence. I said what I said.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I have a friend who's. Who grew up Catholic. I've spoken of him before in Medium Italy, and there's parts of the mass that are still in his head and will never leave.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, what's weird is I can't talk about this, but I can still spell anti disestablishmentarianism because I memorized it as a kid.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

A N T I D I S D S T E B L A S H M E N T A R N A S them.

[Edna Cartwright]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to say it at the end or it doesn't count.

[Nicole Parker]

And I can't come up with this intro for the second section. It's terrifying. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. There's some people who are. Who are throwing their shoe with the phone man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Take a breather. What? Nikita Khrushchev.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, remember the shoe guy that threw

[Paul F. Tompkins]

the shoes at Bush?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. We've talked about this before. We have you said he was actually invigorated by it? That he said he looked like he was like, throw the other one. Fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, he was having so much fun.

[Nicole Parker]

He was having fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It woke him out. Yeah, he was like, oh, this is fun.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So anyway, this is what I thought

[Paul F. Tompkins]

it was gonna be.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm gonna read this post now. Did I, Did I finish?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did I finish?

[Nicole Parker]

Did I finish? Did I finish?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is a post from the NeighborHap, the social networking application over the top.

[Nicole Parker]

And do it to be like, this is how it's really done.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm just sweeping up. That's all you're doing.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God. If you drop the mic after this, I would be very.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would never do that. If you would see a. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Nicole Parker]

That was me dropping the mic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, really? Can we.

[Nicole Parker]

I, I, I'm sorry. I watched the Kevin Hart roast, and I'm really worked up from.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was wild watching that Kevin Hart roast because it's like, oh, they don't always wear the hoods. Sometimes they have a meeting and nobody wears the hood.

[Nicole Parker]

This is. Oh, this is going out to everyone. Okay, I guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they know?

[Nicole Parker]

Are they aware?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they know this?

[Nicole Parker]

They act like they don't know. Oh, boy. All right, we had this post. I'm gonna read it. We're gonna bring on our guest. Here we go. This comes to us now. I. I can't say, Bert, you would have to post came to, because I believe it came to you first. But we'll credit the person who sent us the post. Maybe in the third section if we can find it. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, this was one I found myself.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you found this one. This post comes to us from Burnt Me Paydays.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fun to hear my name on a podcast.

[Nicole Parker]

This is from Edna C. And Edna says my older brother is a big fan of Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe. Where can I get memorabilia from both of them? From both of them. From something cheap. He's in Guatemala, and his 83 birthday is on June.

[Edna Cartwright]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

His 83 birthday is on June.

[Nicole Parker]

And here to talk about this pose is Edna. Welcome, Edna.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, hi. Oh, sorry, I wasn't close enough. Now I am close.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Scooch on in.

[Nicole Parker]

Be a part of the kitchen island. Oh, you're adorable, Edna.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, thank you.

[Edna Cartwright]

So are you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How tall are you?

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm seven foot nine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm a large woolly.

[Nicole Parker]

You're very tall. This is the first time a guest has touched the top of the canopy on my kitchen chair.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, God, it feels nice up here. Your canopy Is lovely.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Edna Cartwright]

Very warm.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, thank you.

[Edna Cartwright]

You have a warm canopy.

[Nicole Parker]

A warm what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Canopy.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, I don't like the sound of that.

[Edna Cartwright]

What?

[Brett Morris]

Warm canopy.

[Nicole Parker]

Excuse my husband. You cannot see.

[Edna Cartwright]

Where is he?

[Brett Morris]

Dark. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Plaza mite.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Elderly giant on show.

[Edna Cartwright]

I am a. I'm a woman who lives almost in the.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you okay being called a giant? We don't want to address you so much.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Giantess.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, I sure.

[Nicole Parker]

What have you been called?

[Edna Cartwright]

Tina. When I was a child, they would call me a giant.

[Nicole Parker]

What else would they call you?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, a little monster.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How. Why would they call you a little monster?

[Edna Cartwright]

Because I was taller than all the other kids, but shorter than the adults. Oh, I see that.

[Nicole Parker]

Awkward time.

[Edna Cartwright]

Awkward, horrible time. We all went through it.

[Nicole Parker]

And is this something that runs through your family, or are you the first big person of your.

[Edna Cartwright]

We're all very tall people.

[Nicole Parker]

All very tall. How tall is your. Is your brother. Did we get his name? I don't think we got his name. What's your brother's name?

[Edna Cartwright]

Loomis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Loomis. And he's going to be 83.

[Edna Cartwright]

83. He's my older brother.

[Nicole Parker]

That's sweet. How tall is he?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, he is eight foot one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Who's the tallest in the family?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, my grandfather was very tame.

[Nicole Parker]

Who was very tired and tall.

[Edna Cartwright]

He was so tired from being tall.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That makes sense.

[Edna Cartwright]

You have to always look down at people. On her neck. Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How tall Was your grandfather?

[Edna Cartwright]

10 foot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

10 foot even. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Goodness gracious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was he really just nine? 11. But he said 10 foot.

[Edna Cartwright]

That was the rumor. Our family ate a lot of beans, and I think that was why we grew so tall.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I.

[Edna Cartwright]

Did you know, that was the truth about beans.

[Nicole Parker]

I. I mean, I thought it was just a fairy tale.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, that's jacking the beanstalk. The real truth is, if you eat your beans, you're gonna go down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So it's not necessarily three magic beans, but if you just consume as many beans as possible.

[Nicole Parker]

Any kind of bean.

[Edna Cartwright]

Any bean.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The of Do Eddie Beetle do jelly.

[Nicole Parker]

That was a real curveball.

[Edna Cartwright]

For dessert. For dessert, we would have jelly bean shakes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that sounds yummy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is there any sweet more satisfying than the jelly bean?

[Edna Cartwright]

That's what Reagan said, remember? He loved them and he was one of our best.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, let's move on. Now, it says your birthday. His birthday is on June. Now, what do you mean by that?

[Edna Cartwright]

It just landed on June. But I don't know the exact date.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't?

[Edna Cartwright]

Our parents never gave us the exact date.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really?

[Nicole Parker]

You don't have any birth certificates. You can go look up or check if there are.

[Edna Cartwright]

I don't know where they are.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, how big a family are we talking here? You have. You. Your brother.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. And. Sorry, his name is again.

[Edna Cartwright]

Loomis.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. Loomis. And are you native to Dignity Falls? You grow up here?

[Edna Cartwright]

Indeed we did.

[Nicole Parker]

You did?

[Edna Cartwright]

We did. Our parents. Our parents are very interesting people. They were entertainers. Entertainers.

[Nicole Parker]

They were entertainers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Entertainers. And what does that entail?

[Edna Cartwright]

Probably exactly what you think. Well, they were acrobats and they had. They were singing acrobats.

[Nicole Parker]

Amazing. What was their name? Did they have like a duo name?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, sure. The car Righteous.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, the cartridge.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's my last name. Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Edna C. Cartwright.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, the Cartwrightians. Interesting.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

That's fun. It already sounds like Cartwheel. Sort of.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes. Nope.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were tall as well.

[Nicole Parker]

Edna moved her net. When Edna moves her long neck, it's like the mystics in the Dark Crystal, if you remember that movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

It's like a long.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I saw it and I don't remember anything about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you've got a gorgeous long neck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gorgeous.

[Edna Cartwright]

Very Catherine.

[Nicole Parker]

He. Did Katherine Hepburn have a long neck?

[Edna Cartwright]

Why not? Don't you think of her with a long neck? Very light.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I do. That makes sense. Very long necks. Very elegant, slim line.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Famous for having a long neck. I'm trying to do it. Ballet people.

[Nicole Parker]

Ballet people. Maybe Jeffrey.

[Edna Cartwright]

The Durango death. Oh, absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

So they. They performed. Did they travel?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How tall was your father? How tall was your mother?

[Edna Cartwright]

My father.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sorry. Burnt. Good catch.

[Edna Cartwright]

My father is 8 foot 2.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Grandmother. No, sorry, my mother, she was short.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Edna Cartwright]

Because she's not part of the. You know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. She married into this whole thing.

[Edna Cartwright]

She was like 5 foot 6. How did that work? Well, she complained it hurt her. I'll show that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were they even in the same room?

[Edna Cartwright]

They were constantly having sex.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you just asked about being in the same room. Oh, I meant nothing about sex.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's what I meant.

[Nicole Parker]

I see. Oh, it is? Oh, well, that's not where my brain

[Paul F. Tompkins]

went right away because you said, how did that work? And I thought you were talking about sexual intercourse.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God. No, I meant how did the acrobat penetration.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's what I thought she meant.

[Nicole Parker]

How did the acrobatics work?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was my next question.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yeah. Well, look, it was very.

[Nicole Parker]

Get the important one out of the way first.

[Edna Cartwright]

You Know what was interesting about the tall and the shortness of them all is in their act, she would just slide all over his body

[Nicole Parker]

like a snake.

[Edna Cartwright]

Sure. Climbing all over.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And did they travel or was this just at dignity indignation?

[Edna Cartwright]

No, they had to travel. They were rarely home. We raised by my grandparents mostly.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, so you didn't go with them?

[Edna Cartwright]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's kind of sad. You're so you were raised by your grandparents? Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

But we learned to take care of ourselves.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's good.

[Edna Cartwright]

It was a different era.

[Nicole Parker]

It was a different era.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was your grandmother small as well?

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes, my grandmother was teeny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How tall was she?

[Edna Cartwright]

She was about. No, two.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Two and married a ten foot man.

[Nicole Parker]

Spectrum.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Two foot.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not gonna ask how that works. Worked.

[Edna Cartwright]

She grew up in an era, a time period that was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't wait to see how this is related.

[Edna Cartwright]

Post. Post civil war. Oh, that explains Spanish flu. Somewhere in that time period.

[Nicole Parker]

Is there a time period name for that specific Reconstruction.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's it. She was in a reconstruction at Giles.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So the reconstruction into the naughty 90s.

[Edna Cartwright]

The naughty 90s.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then on the eve of the Great War.

[Edna Cartwright]

Isn't it interesting? The 1990s and then they had a time period and they got crazy again in the twenties.

[Nicole Parker]

They sure did. They did wonder if they're going to crazy again. They sure did.

[Edna Cartwright]

Remember when that last virus, that Covid thing was going around? They were like, oh, the roaring twenties are going to happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

That was a fun thing to say.

[Edna Cartwright]

More than halfway through.

[Nicole Parker]

Now let me ask you this, Edna.

[Edna Cartwright]

Seems like it's less than roaring.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not drinking in a bathtub.

[Nicole Parker]

Nope.

[Edna Cartwright]

Or getting into a phone booth with a lot of people. Didn't they do that?

[Nicole Parker]

Swallowing goldfish, Driving recklessly in a cool old vintage car with a rumble seat down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. You got your raccoon coat and your pennant for your champagne fountains and chocolate dreams.

[Edna Cartwright]

Just Charleston.

[Brett Morris]

Charleston shoes.

[Nicole Parker]

So wait, let's get to your brother now because this is what your post is about. Okay, Loomis. Why does he live in Guatemala?

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, what happened was somewhere around the 1950s my brother became convinced that the McCarthy air. That they were coming after him with the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why were they targeting it?

[Edna Cartwright]

Because of his tallness. That he thought he was. Had some. He got involved with some communists. And so they started getting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Probably because of that.

[Nicole Parker]

Elaborate on that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Probably not so much the tallness. And probably because of the involvement with the communists.

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, they were tall communists.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. It's the easy to spot.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

So, yeah, when we were. When you. I guess that was high school time. I'm doing my math in my head. School time. He got involved with a group of kids all his age. They've gotten to. Oh, you okay there? I just saw you hit yourself in the head, darling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, are you having one of those episodes?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's been such a long time.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, I got cold and I wanted to put my slanket on. And I went to take off my headphones, but I forgot I was wearing. I'm also wearing a winter cap because I just have to be the person now who prepares for whatever temperature the house is because everybody else complains. So I try. You don't have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't have to carry around that little stub of candle on the. In the holder.

[Nicole Parker]

I do, though. I do do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, yes, the lights are fine.

[Nicole Parker]

It's helpful. It's helpful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. All right. I don't wanna. I don't want to impugn your method.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Thank you. So. Okay. So he. So he's worried that he's gonna be like a part of the McCarthy. And what did he do at the time? What was his. Thank you.

[Edna Cartwright]

He was in high school.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Wow. I don't remember them prosecuting high schoolers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did they target any kids?

[Edna Cartwright]

I think he was worried that they were next. They come from Hollywood and I didn't say anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Edna Cartwright]

Then they come for high schoolers and no one's here to speak.

[Nicole Parker]

I do. I do. Is. You said it a lot around dignity fall.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

So. So then did he end up Actually. Okay, I'll let you just go.

[Edna Cartwright]

You know, he just one day disappeared. He's out of here. He left me a note on my bed, on my pillow while I was sleeping. I woke up next to a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, you looked. You looked.

[Nicole Parker]

She looked over with her long neck as if the pillow was right there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As if you could see the pillow.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

The memory is so vivid.

[Nicole Parker]

It's something I never will forget. It makes me sort of sad.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, no, it's okay. It's been a long time. Everyone's all right.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. I'm glad. All right, well, let's find out. Well, so, okay. So what was. What did the notes say?

[Edna Cartwright]

Said my darling sister Edna.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What happened?

[Edna Cartwright]

There's a bird behind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry. There's a crow that came right up to the window.

[Nicole Parker]

I think that she thinks it thinks Edna's a tree. And does that happen a lot? Do birds land on you a lot?

[Edna Cartwright]

It's a problem.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, gosh.

[Edna Cartwright]

I bet that's why I put. I forgot to tell you what I do for a living.

[Nicole Parker]

I forgot to ask you.

[Edna Cartwright]

I make bells and I put them on birds. Birds. Wait, so I know they're coming.

[Nicole Parker]

That's your job.

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm a little bell

[Nicole Parker]

maker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who else takes advantage of this besides you?

[Edna Cartwright]

You never know. My. Anybody's child.

[Nicole Parker]

But you're the baker. The little bird bell ring maker.

[Brett Morris]

Do the crows pay you for that?

[Edna Cartwright]

Did the crows.

[Brett Morris]

Because they bring little guests.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's actually giving you revenue for this?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, this is a great question. I just get money sent to me in the mail. I don't know who the.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't question it. What does the return address say?

[Edna Cartwright]

Serious benefactor make this bail. I have a bird problem.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what the return address is.

[Edna Cartwright]

Is that what your question?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you make the bell and then how do you know?

[Nicole Parker]

We've got to go back and find out where this envelope's coming from. Is it always the same place?

[Edna Cartwright]

It's. They have no return address. Did you know you can send a letter that way? You'll get there.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't. Oh, is that a myth? Oh, the. All the waste of putting on my, my, my, my.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You had to.

[Brett Morris]

You got to be really sure.

[Edna Cartwright]

You know what you need to do right after this? Send a letter.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Do not put a return address. Send it to each other.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

It gets there. Don't be scared.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm so scared.

[Edna Cartwright]

Anyways, what happens is I get these letters in the mail. It started when I was young. Please make a bell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you were young? How young?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, I. I'm going to say twenties. Because to me. Okay, that's what I'm.

[Nicole Parker]

I bet that would seem young. Cuz you're how old?

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm 82.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Just right below Lumis.

[Edna Cartwright]

My. My brother's turning 83.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he's turning 83. Oh, no. You're the same age.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I'm.

[Edna Cartwright]

Can I. When. Okay, so what happened was my brother was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

His neck is just like rippling up and down.

[Edna Cartwright]

Brother was. Is older than me, as I said in my.

[Nicole Parker]

I should hope so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure, 83.

[Edna Cartwright]

But I'm 82. But we're four months apart.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, you and Loomis are four months apart.

[Edna Cartwright]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow, that's quick turnaround for kids for

[Edna Cartwright]

that little woman always having sex.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Irish giant twins.

[Edna Cartwright]

It's very. My grand. My mother, not my grandmother. My mother was pregnant.

[Nicole Parker]

The neck went all the way down. Literally. It disappeared.

[Edna Cartwright]

Turtle like a turtle like A turtle.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's what I am.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Touch for the very first.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not what you are, really. You're just like a turtle.

[Edna Cartwright]

Like a turtle.

[Nicole Parker]

Hey.

[Edna Cartwright]

Touch for the very first time.

[Nicole Parker]

Now that's a Madonna song. You can get behind that one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That one I can endorse.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

It feels like a weird Al Yankovic song.

[Nicole Parker]

It does, doesn't it?

[Edna Cartwright]

One that he gave up on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like a Turtle I'm gonna.

[Nicole Parker]

He only got one verse in chorus. He's like, now forget it. Because he did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like a surgeon.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then maybe. Maybe the plan was to do a bunch of Like a Virgin parodies.

[Edna Cartwright]

Just like a. Like a. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's like, you know what? Why would I do this?

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah. His standard was too high.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ye. Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

Eat it.

[Nicole Parker]

We had a fun one, though, on the Digny Falls radio that would just play public. You know, it's about to, like, you know, safety of driving. And it was like. Like be. You be merging. It was like that. It was really cute.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. You be merging.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh,

[Edna Cartwright]

lovely.

[Nicole Parker]

So anyways. Well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Edna Cartwright]

My mother was pregnant with my brother Loomis, and they were still having. You know, you could still have sex when you're pregnant.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's no law.

[Nicole Parker]

You can.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't know that you should. And obviously whose idea that always is.

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, what happened? What happened is my mother got pregnant while she was pregnant.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

So you guys were in there together?

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes. Different.

[Nicole Parker]

In the same. You had different chambers.

[Edna Cartwright]

Different chambers.

[Nicole Parker]

Different chamber, Same womb.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Can't lose.

[Edna Cartwright]

Parker Lewis.

[Nicole Parker]

I think that happened once with another guest. One time.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah. I love that. Parker Lewis Can't Lose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's recurring.

[Brett Morris]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a favorite up there.

[Brett Morris]

There.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So along with Zoe Duncan, Jack and Jane Corinne.

[Edna Cartwright]

Was that Cor.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

What's that corish buer Rip off?

[Nicole Parker]

I get very offended when I don't. When. I don't know, pop culture reference. I get offended.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You did seem angry.

[Nicole Parker]

I was. Yeah. I was. I was angry. Hey, babe, did you like Parker Lewis Can't Lose?

[Brett Morris]

Loved it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remember. That's your favorite episode.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah. That's what I was gonna ask. Let's all say our favorite Parker Lewis Can't Lose episode.

[Brett Morris]

That one word he almost loses.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

But then just pulls out of it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He can't.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He simply can't.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

He actually tried to lose and he can't.

[Nicole Parker]

I haven't seen it, so I can't contribute. I never saw it. That's why I got so offended.

[Brett Morris]

I think A lot of Parkers are named after him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh for sure.

[Brett Morris]

That wasn't. That wasn't a big name too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would say Ray Parker Jr.

[Nicole Parker]

Probably now. Parker is such a common name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

Ray Parker.

[Nicole Parker]

Boring name.

[Edna Cartwright]

Ray Parker Jr. Was definitely named after an 80s television show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah. Cuz how old was he when he sang Ghostbusters?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh gosh, that's 11:12.

[Nicole Parker]

Something. I do not. 11:12.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, he was. He had a. He liked dream but sure voice where he had, you know like when she sang as a child he was like that's a 40 year old woman. That's a child.

[Nicole Parker]

That is true.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's what you're going to call.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, very good Edna.

[Edna Cartwright]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

That was amazing.

[Edna Cartwright]

I have a talent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My favorite part of ghost. Who are you going to call?

[Edna Cartwright]

It's the best line.

[Nicole Parker]

It is. It sure is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's most memorable.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah. Remember the video for it?

[Brett Morris]

I don't.

[Edna Cartwright]

I don't.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It had a lot.

[Nicole Parker]

I do not. And don't talk about it. What? It's very offensive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It had a lot of random celebrities.

[Edna Cartwright]

Terry Gar was in it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

John Candy probably. I think John Goodman probably. Dan Aykroyd, I think. I think Bill Murray was like, you get me for five seconds.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's it.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't have to go watch that. So you and Loomis were very close obviously. Truly and literally.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And so how did you. Did you continue close throughout your childhood until he left?

[Edna Cartwright]

Did we continue close throughout our.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you have a good childhood like together as siblings before he left?

[Edna Cartwright]

Because our parents weren't here so.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Edna Cartwright]

Each other.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the grandparents, what did they. They didn't really take care of you. I mean you were in their care

[Edna Cartwright]

but yeah, they wouldn't speak to us. Oh that's really just from another era where they say this. We speak. You know. Remember? You remember. I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

You're young but like don't speak unless spoken to.

[Edna Cartwright]

Don't talk to children because they're not worth. It was basically, you know, they'll figure that out on their own.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I had. My same friend had a grandmother like that.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who when they would go over he and his siblings would go over to her house. There was like this great tree in the yard that they were not allowed to play on and she had no toys or games in the home. And they were made to do chores. They were constantly reminded that they were not doing enough to help their mother at home.

[Nicole Parker]

Dear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the only TV that they ever got to watch was Lawrence Grand. Welcome.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that is tough.

[Edna Cartwright]

My grandparents.

[Nicole Parker]

That is tough.

[Edna Cartwright]

Sing us little songs they'd make up that was.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Great songs. And every night they would sing us a little different.

[Brett Morris]

Where is Edna's mic exactly?

[Nicole Parker]

It's not about where her mic is. It's about where her neck is because it undulates and it's like a pendulum. Oh, yeah, yeah. It went down. That might be easiest, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Edna.

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm always

[Nicole Parker]

person thing.

[Edna Cartwright]

It's okay. My head's in the can.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Don't do it, Doug. Okay. So did you tell us what the letter said?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, I've forgotten. What.

[Nicole Parker]

What the letter said from Loomis. Did you tell us?

[Edna Cartwright]

My dearest, I have to leave.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay?

[Edna Cartwright]

The red scare is scaring me. Oh, I will be in another country, but to be told to you later. Oh, please keep this between us. Love, your brother, Loomis. P.S. don't let anyone tell you that you can't be anything that you don't want to be.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't be anything that you don't want to be.

[Edna Cartwright]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. What is that advice?

[Edna Cartwright]

What is that advice? Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is he cautioning you against or advising you to do?

[Nicole Parker]

You don't want to be. You know, like, no one's going to tell you you cannot be a chef. There's a lot of double negatives going on.

[Brett Morris]

That could be a plaque.

[Edna Cartwright]

I. I took it. I took it as positive.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, that's good.

[Edna Cartwright]

I took.

[Nicole Parker]

Did it affect how your life continued on?

[Edna Cartwright]

Absolutely. Because the. The minute. The second and the minute. I finished that hour.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

And possibly. Definitely the hour.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I'm gonna say, what if you pointed the microphone at your mouth?

[Edna Cartwright]

You know, the problem is I can't. My. The wires are all over my chest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You are somehow tangled up in those wires.

[Nicole Parker]

A lot of wires. I don't know how this happened.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, dear. I'm sorry. Have you heard Edward I.

[Nicole Parker]

Around your neck?

[Edna Cartwright]

We heard it. Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Thought.

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm worried about myself. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were sort of doing them like

[Edna Cartwright]

sidestep, sort of like in the 90s movies. Remember when they would have gangs and they would have guns and they would turn them sideways?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

Totally ineffective. Who's gonna shoot that way?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No one.

[Edna Cartwright]

Just in the movies.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. That's a little too close.

[Brett Morris]

No.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yeah. I can't get it right.

[Nicole Parker]

It's okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay, now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Edna Cartwright]

The second Irish finished, I looked over and what did I see by the side of my bed. But a little bell. Oh, what little bell?

[Nicole Parker]

A little bell left by him.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right.

[Edna Cartwright]

And I took that as a sign I'm gonna make little bells, which I did for Birds. So I meant for Hollywood movies, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

In the 70s and 80s. I worked on a lot of different movies. You know, there's. How many bell sounds there are in movies?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All I can think of is.

[Nicole Parker]

All I can think of is it's a wonder, a life, you know. That's the only bell I can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One of the most famous bell movies, I think you say, is a famous bike movie.

[Edna Cartwright]

In the 70s.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I did Ordinary People.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

Are you kidding me? The part. They're. They're. He's running around after he finds out his friend off to herself, there's a bell ringing. Bell ringing.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? I'm gonna have to go back and watch.

[Edna Cartwright]

Go watch the. Did you ever see Agnes of God?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

I have not actually.

[Brett Morris]

Bells.

[Edna Cartwright]

You have not seen it?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I haven't. And don't talk about it.

[Edna Cartwright]

You don't talk about the baby. That's Agnes of God. Does anybody remember the baby?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She has a baby. The nun has a baby.

[Edna Cartwright]

She has a baby.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that?

[Edna Cartwright]

It's in quotes. Oh, quotes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you were. You forgive me. You were using your whole hand to the quotes and it looked like a claw.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's the problem with being large. I have large hands.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

So a little gesture to a normal person would seem like an absolute, absolute threat.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, absolutely. It's very Pan's Labyrinth.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yeah. Bells in that bell's in that one.

[Nicole Parker]

That I believe.

[Edna Cartwright]

I didn't work on that film Cannonball Run. There were so many bells in Cannonball Run. Yes, there were.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you.

[Edna Cartwright]

They were all in Dom DeLuise's pocket.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That every time he gets slapped.

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, that was in his contract. That was. He thought it was funny.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, he's not wrong. He was a funny guy.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

So can you tell me some of the. Tell us some of the movies you did work on. You're listing ones that have. Are those the ones you worked on or worked on?

[Edna Cartwright]

Basically, you name a movie, I'll tell you if I worked on Chinatown. Absolutely. Do you know how many bells are in Chinatown? Every time he's. The original. Cut. Every time he slapped her face, there was a bell supposed to ring.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was that?

[Brett Morris]

Earrings.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, her head is like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like that.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, under the.

[Nicole Parker]

Under the bandage on his nose. Was. Was. That's part of it.

[Edna Cartwright]

What? Oh, you Mean under his cut.

[Brett Morris]

Nose.

[Edna Cartwright]

Nose, yes, sure, there was a. Because he would. Because his character had. Once his nose got cut. You know, sometimes your sinuses and you make a little Bells.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, I know that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. It's annoying when that happens.

[Nicole Parker]

Hate it.

[Edna Cartwright]

I hate it. When I go to a movie, I'm sitting next to someone who has a bell in their nose.

[Nicole Parker]

I hate that. It's so common.

[Edna Cartwright]

Like, what's wrong?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you. It's like, you shouldn't be allowed to go to the movies that day.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, you should stay home. Chinatown.

[Nicole Parker]

Stay home. Chinatown.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's what I call.

[Nicole Parker]

So now here's my question. So we're talking about movies. We're talking about Hollywood. Does this have anything to do with.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Does this have anything to do with Loomis's love for Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe? Can you tell us about that? Okay, well, how did that happen?

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, we now know he went to Guatemala.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

When did you find that out? When was it revealed to you? Because you said it was revealed later.

[Edna Cartwright]

What happens is he sends me a telegram. He's always moving around.

[Nicole Parker]

Telegram apparently. Did that anymore?

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, you know, he doesn't. Yeah, he's still stuck in that time period.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Everybody is. Except for you, I think.

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, I'm alive. I move on. I stay present.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, they are. He's alive too, though.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, he's alive, but he. He's out of time.

[Nicole Parker]

Stuck in the past.

[Edna Cartwright]

He. Sometimes he's living in the jungle there. Oh, sometimes he lives.

[Nicole Parker]

What is he doing there? What does he do for a living?

[Edna Cartwright]

It's a mystery. Oh, good.

[Nicole Parker]

How can it be after all this time?

[Edna Cartwright]

He doesn't want the McCarthy people coming.

[Nicole Parker]

He still thinks that he's in trouble for that. He doesn't know you told him. It's not a thing anymore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're all de.

[Edna Cartwright]

He doesn't believe it.

[Nicole Parker]

He doesn't believe it. How do you communicate with him? Just send him a telegram back.

[Edna Cartwright]

He sends me a telegram where he is, where his whereabouts are, and then I send a birthday present to him and that's all I ever hear from him.

[Nicole Parker]

Only one year. So can you give us an example of a telegram and a birthday presentation?

[Edna Cartwright]

Example of a telegram from him.

[Nicole Parker]

Like what would it say? How short is it? How long is it? How detailed is it?

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, it goes. Edna.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Edna Cartwright]

In the jungles. Please drop off present dot, dot, dot to this address.

[Nicole Parker]

Stop.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, not yet.

[Nicole Parker]

No, stop.

[Edna Cartwright]

Hope you're well. Stop. Oh, Louvish.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it a stop that sounds that angry?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, it's Very angry. I could tell it's capitalized. It has five exclamation points.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that seems aggressive. That seems like that's not just the normal function of the telegram, but someone trying to tell you to stop, stop, and actually stop this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, because usually why weren't there. Why wasn't there periods in telegrams? I don't know why they have to say stop.

[Nicole Parker]

I'd have no idea. And why were all the dot, dot dots? Why wasn't he giving you full sentence or why wasn't he giving you a more elaboration in the jungle? What is that supposed to mean?

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, okay. Living in a volcano.

[Nicole Parker]

Why sleeps tonight?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He never said it was mighty jungle.

[Nicole Parker]

I, I, I, I don't understand yet. Why?

[Edna Cartwright]

What's confusing you?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, a lot is confused. Confusing me.

[Edna Cartwright]

Sorry. I had a little bit to drink before I came.

[Nicole Parker]

I imagine that you have to drink a lot to even feel it.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's just hitting me right now.

[Nicole Parker]

Andre the Giant famously drank like 80 beers before we would even feel it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. So you must even need more. How much have you had to drink today?

[Edna Cartwright]

I had a few kegs.

[Nicole Parker]

Of what?

[Edna Cartwright]

Just beer, darling.

[Nicole Parker]

Just beer, darling.

[Edna Cartwright]

Beer, darling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's your favorite beer? What's your, what's your regular, your go to? What's your brand?

[Edna Cartwright]

Who's Housing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who's Housing? That's a good beer.

[Edna Cartwright]

Do you like that?

[Brett Morris]

I love who's House.

[Edna Cartwright]

Not a lot of people like, people don't know it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's extremely sour.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it is.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's what I like about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

I like got a real kick. I love a beer with a kick.

[Brett Morris]

Your lips go inverted.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah. It Like a cartoon cat.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Sometimes your nose can almost start sucking in your face.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

O.

[Brett Morris]

It'll, It'll.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Any opening that you have will pucker.

[Edna Cartwright]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow, your eyelids, it's terrible.

[Edna Cartwright]

You get puckered. You get real puckered.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's your slogan.

[Edna Cartwright]

Puckered Carlson.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're getting puckered tonight.

[Brett Morris]

Pucker Carlson. That commercial was a little too much.

[Edna Cartwright]

They asked me to do some bells for that commercial. I said no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Edna Cartwright]

I said no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are there other things you've turned down?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That they've approached you to make bells for?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Edna Cartwright]

Ass.

[Nicole Parker]

Like what?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, they, they. One time they made me. They asked me to do Terms of Endearment.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Edna Cartwright]

I refused to put bells in that movie.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. That doesn't seem necessary.

[Edna Cartwright]

It was from the they what they wanted originally to the I. Spoiler alert. From the moment you find out De Winger gets the Cancer. Right. They wanted bells ringing to the end of the movie.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's just. That's distracting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Funny is that he did.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. And it gone blackout. That count is a bell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, well, you put it that way. Ding, ding. I remember leaving that movie and thinking I didn't hear a single bell. I never thought that in a movie because of me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, we have you to thank for that.

[Edna Cartwright]

You're welcome.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Edna Cartwright]

It's not a bell movie.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not a bell movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, so we gotta. We're.

[Edna Cartwright]

We're okay. I know Marilyn and Elvis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's get into it.

[Edna Cartwright]

So as my brother when we were young, this is who he love. Merrill Monroe. This was the 50th.

[Nicole Parker]

And do you grew up watching. You'd like watch stuff on how you had movies that they were in or.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes. Okay. And also Elvis sang songs. Well, I listened to his songs.

[Nicole Parker]

Sullivan probably.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, he loved Marilyn Monroe though. So. So, so he loved so much. He just like what an era for women.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, for women.

[Edna Cartwright]

They're either. We had to be just so brainless or just wear a lot of pearls.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

And that's the only choice we pour those actresses when they like. What's this part? Is it the brainless woman or the woman who wears pearls?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh dear.

[Edna Cartwright]

Or Betty Davis took strong women. She took all the strong women.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. There's nobody. No parts left over.

[Nicole Parker]

So would you say that, that those two like

[Edna Cartwright]

I put bells in that movie too? Do you?

[Nicole Parker]

You did.

[Edna Cartwright]

I had bells in sh.

[Brett Morris]

What a redemption it was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was the original title. Sha Shank Redemption.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, it was a great title. I thought they should have kept it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think so too.

[Edna Cartwright]

Josh saying dot, dot, dot. What a redemption. It's true. It's true. I thought they got lazy with the title.

[Nicole Parker]

They picked a little bit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were doing it telegram style.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, exactly.

[Edna Cartwright]

Shawshank. Dot, dot, dot. What a redemption. Stop.

[Nicole Parker]

So did you just decide what when you have given him presents before, what have you sent?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, I have sent. Okay, this is it. I always say we're finally getting to it. That is Elvis and. Or Mary.

[Nicole Parker]

You always send something.

[Edna Cartwright]

Always.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you give us an example of what you've sent him before having to do with him?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, I sent. And I sent her a lay that was in that I found that memory Ab. It was actually in the movie.

[Nicole Parker]

I was going to say when you say memorabilia, are you getting the actual

[Edna Cartwright]

I have Hollywood connection?

[Nicole Parker]

Cuz it says if you can you. It says, it says.

[Brett Morris]

It says.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, he's a big fan of hell. Where can I get memorabilia from both of them?

[Nicole Parker]

From both. From both of them.

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm trying to. To find new memorabilia when I'm at something cheap. Well, it depends.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. What's that all about? Because I thought you made a lot of money from making the bird bells.

[Edna Cartwright]

Right. But I. You know what? I don't. I'm still. My parents. They all. They grew up in a time period, the depression. And so it's always been ingrained in me. Do we just don't get. Don't get too cocky with your money.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Be talked about. They were always gone, but they would always remind us whenever they were back about the depression.

[Nicole Parker]

Were they successful acrobatically? Did they celebrate a lot of tickets?

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes. You don't remember them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What were they called again?

[Nicole Parker]

They were called the Cartridians.

[Edna Cartwright]

Is that's why they did the Kians. If you look it up, you would. And they also sang songs too. They sang songs while they did acrobats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That seems difficult. Oh yeah. Very challenging.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's why. That's the first of all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's a five foot height difference between them.

[Edna Cartwright]

Right. What a stage. They. The staging was amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, bet.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

What was one of the songs they would sing?

[Edna Cartwright]

Don't look down. Here I come. Don't look down. It's time for fun. Scratching, scratching. Scratch. Scratch. Don't look down.

[Nicole Parker]

What's all the scratching about?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Scratching.

[Brett Morris]

Don't look down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I get. Sorry. For fun, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

Scratch and scratch and scratch and scratch.

[Edna Cartwright]

I think this is. Remember, you have to imagine the stage. Okay. So tall man, small woman.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Edna Cartwright]

She's climbing up. So the scratch and the scratching.

[Nicole Parker]

Taking her nails into him. That was the best way to get up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Soloing up her.

[Edna Cartwright]

Like a cat. He was screaming from pain because her nails are very long.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And this was a popular act.

[Edna Cartwright]

So popular.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Edna Cartwright]

They couldn't. They had to turn people away. They showed that the moment they announced it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who?

[Nicole Parker]

They announced it?

[Edna Cartwright]

Announced it. They yelled it out.

[Nicole Parker]

Time for scratch and scratch. Scratch. Or how would they. How would they introduce them?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, how would they.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sorry, I thought you meant when they would announce that number.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, no, they're shows.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, got it.

[Edna Cartwright]

The moment their shows were announced, it

[Nicole Parker]

was like a Metallica show. You just. They immediately sold out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great. Exactly.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, Tony Orlando and Don. Remember them? Sold out into. Didn't they?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are they all still alive?

[Edna Cartwright]

I think.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was Tony Orlando. He's still alive. I think.

[Edna Cartwright]

I think Selma Hopkins. That's one of the dawn and The

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Other dawn and the other Dawn.

[Edna Cartwright]

I think he's alive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope so.

[Edna Cartwright]

I hope so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would love to see them together.

[Brett Morris]

Ribbon.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you receive any comments underneath this post of anyone having any memorabilia?

[Edna Cartwright]

No, that's.

[Nicole Parker]

That's why you came on here, because you want to get the word out.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, I'm looking for something specifically.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. What is it? This is helpful.

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, I pick a different Monroe movie.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

So I've gotten something. I haven't gotten something from the Misfits.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sure. Yes, yes, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Unless you count Something's Got to Give, which she died before it was completed.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, I don't count that.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, there was another movie called Something's Got to Give. That's where the song came from.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And. And that was where the nude photos were. Came from that they uncovered because she has a pool scene.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And this is like a. This is like a handful of years ago.

[Edna Cartwright]

They're like, we found these dirt. We found these nude pictures of Marilyn Ross.

[Nicole Parker]

And I know that's exactly what voice was that?

[Edna Cartwright]

Who's that?

[Nicole Parker]

That was just like some dirty detective.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The person who would announce that.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, he wouldn't sound any other way.

[Edna Cartwright]

It's a newscaster.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

On the news today, we found these pictures.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thanks, Jim. Seems like it is going to be a hot one. In other news, they found.

[Edna Cartwright]

And Jim was like, yeah, good. It's about time.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, so what are you specifically looking for?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, something from the Misfits.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I mean. Okay, you just mean specifically that something they represent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does it have to be like the paddleboard ball, maybe?

[Edna Cartwright]

Is it. Was there a paddle ball in the

[Paul F. Tompkins]

m. Famous scene where Marilyn. I've never seen this movie, by the way.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've seen one clip from it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's Mar. Marilyn Monroe is doing the paddle ball. You know, the ball string on the elastic band. And she's doing it. So of course she's like jiggling all around. And so these. These guys in this, you know, you know, whatever, like rest stop or whatever it is, they're all like, ogling her. And then somebody, maybe it's Clark Gable is getting very. Getting very mad that this is happening.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and that's it. Okay. Maybe someone has access to that paddle.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, his last movie, too. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

A lot about older films.

[Edna Cartwright]

Well, one at least we know a lot of info about the Misfits, but we both have not seen it. I also think. Wasn't there like a lasso or something they had.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That sounds Familiar.

[Edna Cartwright]

Like it was written by Arthur Miller.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is that period of time when she was married to him.

[Edna Cartwright]

She was married to art.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you think that that might trigger. Do you think something from Misfits might trigger your brother, though? Because Arthur Miller, you know, famously wrote the Crucible about the Joseph McCarthy hearings, and he was very involved in that.

[Edna Cartwright]

Interesting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just to be clear, for. People don't know, he was very involved in being against it.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry. Thank you.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, no, he wasn't for that. He wasn't for.

[Nicole Parker]

I would hope everyone knows that, but I would hope, too, but it's always best.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's always best.

[Nicole Parker]

Always, always.

[Edna Cartwright]

Thank you for clarifying. I think it might be healing for him if he makes that connection.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you think that he would ever come back? Do you think anything would ever get him to come back? And do you want to go visit him?

[Edna Cartwright]

Your first question. I hope he comes back. I dream of it every night. I hold that note every night. I know, dear. And I would love to take a trip to Guatemala.

[Nicole Parker]

Comforting me about it.

[Edna Cartwright]

I would love to take a trip to Guatemala. The problem is I can't take a plane because my head.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did he get there?

[Nicole Parker]

How did he get there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did he get there?

[Edna Cartwright]

I think he got on a boat.

[Nicole Parker]

A boat?

[Edna Cartwright]

A boat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you can do a boat.

[Edna Cartwright]

You can do a boat.

[Nicole Parker]

You can do it to a boat. Oh, that's the sound it makes. Why did you do that? Oh, a little bit of steam came out of her ears when she did that.

[Edna Cartwright]

That was fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did you do that?

[Nicole Parker]

That was fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did you do that?

[Edna Cartwright]

I got a lot of challenge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you remember the Tin man when he's doing his. And then he. He, like, hits his arm against his. Against his body and then he shoots

[Nicole Parker]

steam out of the funnel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Out of the funnel?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's going on inside?

[Nicole Parker]

I know how. What was that rig? What did that rig look like? What do you think, babe? How do you think they did that?

[Brett Morris]

I think dry ice, probably.

[Nicole Parker]

Ice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How do you get it to shoot

[Nicole Parker]

out of the funnel? What's the mechanism that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If. If the tin were real. Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

What happened to that would shoot.

[Brett Morris]

It's probably going to be a little gerbil on the. On a wheel.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no.

[Edna Cartwright]

Inside of his body.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I think he's.

[Brett Morris]

When he.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now he's got the concept.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, now. Now he does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is his explanation of the concept.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

Now it's understandable.

[Nicole Parker]

So go on, babe.

[Brett Morris]

You hit your arm.

[Nicole Parker]

You're hitting your arm.

[Brett Morris]

Hit your arm and your arm you're

[Nicole Parker]

squeezing your armpit, basically tugs a little string.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay. He's not understanding.

[Nicole Parker]

No, he's still describing how it's happening,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

the gerbil, but I think he's now describing how it's happening. If the Tin man were real.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you, babe?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, okay. I'm not following that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's saying of course for a movie they're not going to have a gerbil in there. But if he was real.

[Brett Morris]

Absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There be a.

[Nicole Parker]

This is what happens. There's a down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then he takes the time to pull the string.

[Brett Morris]

String is tied to the armpit tendon kind of. So he, he's, he's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How's the geral helping?

[Brett Morris]

Just hold on the string pulls. Just hold on the string pulls on a gerbal on his back leg. Pulls him off the wheel. The wheel stops spinning and he's not getting any interruption.

[Nicole Parker]

Whereas when I was just trying to do the introduction for the second thing. But he's talking about a gerbil on a string and we're not laughing and we're not making fun of it. I'm just noting.

[Brett Morris]

I'm noticing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think that's necessary now?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. The answer is yes.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Go to it.

[Brett Morris]

You think I've gotten too much time?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I just think you. I think when I was trying to make my way through something that was difficult as you are now right in this journey anyway.

[Brett Morris]

There's a little bit of gunpowder. There's a balloon.

[Nicole Parker]

Gunpowder.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A little bit of gunpowder.

[Nicole Parker]

You just ran through those really fast.

[Brett Morris]

Well, yeah, I'm trying to run through a fast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're describing a contraption.

[Brett Morris]

I am describing.

[Edna Cartwright]

This is his body.

[Nicole Parker]

What do you actually.

[Edna Cartwright]

But it's his body.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's his body. This is what's happening in order to just go. Because he's in to shoot out.

[Edna Cartwright]

Look, he's made of tin. Anything's possible.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess so what's this steam? Except for a heart. What's this steam for?

[Edna Cartwright]

When he had a heart.

[Brett Morris]

What's it, four?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. What is it actually? How's that coming out of it?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, it's steam powered.

[Nicole Parker]

He's a steam powered. But he needs an oil can, babe.

[Edna Cartwright]

Does he when he gets angry, does he come out of his ears?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's not oil powered.

[Brett Morris]

Oil. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, let's also saying that word lubrication.

[Brett Morris]

That was Edna.

[Edna Cartwright]

I know that's my parents hit that word.

[Nicole Parker]

So wait, that was when they wanted

[Edna Cartwright]

to go at it. That was the secret.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were just look at each other.

[Edna Cartwright]

Lubrication. My brother Loomis and I are like, oh, no, you knew what it meant.

[Nicole Parker]

That was the sock on the door.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's grim.

[Nicole Parker]

It sure is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's great.

[Edna Cartwright]

That's how it is.

[Nicole Parker]

So wait, you're saying the Tin man is powered by steam?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I think we gotta let this go.

[Nicole Parker]

But I would understand.

[Edna Cartwright]

Does he get. When he gets mad, does it come out of his ears?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I don't think he did. He. I guess he had ears.

[Edna Cartwright]

Did the. Tim.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was a cyborg.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, poor Tin Man. It feels like a horrible fate.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you know, if he had tried doing Michael Jackson moves, the same fate would have befell him for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wish. Look, I'm against AI, but I would not mind seeing a video of the Tin man trying to do Michael Jackson and falling down.

[Edna Cartwright]

Just. It's the steps. He can't go up the steps.

[Nicole Parker]

It's the steps.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why would they have him so close to the steps?

[Nicole Parker]

Why were there steps?

[Edna Cartwright]

Why can't he walk? And it's over. It's instantly over.

[Brett Morris]

Someone, he's dead.

[Nicole Parker]

And for a very uncomfortably long amount of time, he's just laying there until someone drags him off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that guy is in no hurry. He comes out, like, drags him off.

[Edna Cartwright]

Damn it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I knew this was the way he.

[Edna Cartwright]

He warned people. He's like, this is going to happen. And it happened.

[Brett Morris]

The way he gets back to the dance so desperately after the first stumble, you really think it's like, as if he's under.

[Nicole Parker]

You really think he's going to be fine?

[Edna Cartwright]

He's a showman.

[Nicole Parker]

He's.

[Edna Cartwright]

The show must go on like your parents.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But please, if you're listening to this and this is within your wheelhouse, I don't want it to be AI.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I don't think it's possible. Birds, I don't want to encourage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's what it needs to be. It needs to be somebody actually dressed up like the two men doing the standards.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a tall order.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is a tall order.

[Nicole Parker]

That's someone with a lot of time on their hands.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's where it would be great if we had fans instead of just listeners.

[Nicole Parker]

Right? Exactly. Because we don't know if they're willing to do that for us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Edna, you're still here.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, no, no.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you're singing the Elaine Stritch song. I love that.

[Edna Cartwright]

I love it.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a good one. Do you have someone to take care of you right now? And who's looking after you?

[Edna Cartwright]

I take care of myself. I'm all right.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you sure you're not lonely? Do you have any animals?

[Edna Cartwright]

I have so many animals.

[Nicole Parker]

You do?

[Edna Cartwright]

I have birds. All of them with bells on course. They all have names. I have cats. I have dogs. I have a lizard.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I thought you were naming them birds.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, I wasn't.

[Nicole Parker]

Could you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How many birds do you have?

[Edna Cartwright]

73. Can you name.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you name ten of them?

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

Your favorite ones. Who are your ten? Name the top ten.

[Edna Cartwright]

Barbara. Yes, sure, it's easy. Fly away.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sure that goes well.

[Edna Cartwright]

Winged monster.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, hey,

[Edna Cartwright]

tweet. No tweet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No twat.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay, That's a mean bird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right?

[Edna Cartwright]

That's a mean bird. That bird. I love her, but she's earned that name.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, like you were about to say tweet no twat. Change your mind in the middle of the naming.

[Edna Cartwright]

Hey, tweet no twat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, so how many do we have? Four.

[Nicole Parker]

That was, I believe, seven.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, I think it was five or six.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, then five.

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm counting on one chalkboard.

[Brett Morris]

Somewhere between four and chalkboard.

[Edna Cartwright]

Board.

[Nicole Parker]

There's chalkboard at six back. We're back with it. We need four more.

[Edna Cartwright]

Couch time.

[Nicole Parker]

Couch time.

[Edna Cartwright]

Delivery.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's got to be confusing.

[Edna Cartwright]

Delivery. Rooftop Agnes.

[Nicole Parker]

Rooftop Agnes. I love her.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, she's a card.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Edna Cartwright]

She is a card. She loves her whiskey. She's a bird that loves her whiskey.

[Nicole Parker]

And who's the last favorite seven?

[Edna Cartwright]

Cheddar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

We're at nine. Cheddar's cute.

[Edna Cartwright]

Cheddar's a sweetheart.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my.

[Edna Cartwright]

Have you ever been down? Cheddar will cheer you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What kind of bird is cheddar?

[Edna Cartwright]

Cheddar's a little, tiny, little, tiny, tiny, tiny little yellow guy.

[Nicole Parker]

Yellow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't even know, like, what's.

[Edna Cartwright]

What type of bird. Just a little yellow, tiny, tiny yellow guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, Cheddar.

[Edna Cartwright]

What would that be? A yellow bird.

[Brett Morris]

Titmouse.

[Edna Cartwright]

A what?

[Nicole Parker]

Tit mouse or tit bird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know if there's such.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe you're just saying boobs. A tit bird. There's a. I realize there's lots of boobies.

[Edna Cartwright]

Tweet. Not twat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think there's a bird that's just called a tit.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, there you go. That. That's correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But not tit bird, which is a tit.

[Nicole Parker]

Is a turn.

[Edna Cartwright]

There's a bird called a tit.

[Brett Morris]

There's a bush tit.

[Edna Cartwright]

Bush tit.

[Brett Morris]

There's a yellow rumped warbler.

[Nicole Parker]

This is where. This is where things start to devolve. Okay, I think before we start just saying tit and bird a lot.

[Edna Cartwright]

And bush and bush. Don't forget borsch. There is a shoe. Don't forget bush.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can't get fooled again.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, titmouse.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, Good job.

[Edna Cartwright]

Thank you very.

[Brett Morris]

That was my first suggestion and it was valid.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm. I'm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But that's.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, we didn't.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

A titmouse. Why would you name a bird a mouse anyway? Bird name is. Why I.

[Edna Cartwright]

Just to put a little ribbon.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Yeah, let's put a ribbon on this.

[Edna Cartwright]

If anybody can help me find some memorabilia from the misfits or an Elvis one that I have not found before, which is.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, just something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you have like a holy grail of any of these items?

[Edna Cartwright]

Something Elvis y. Oh, I would love to find. Oh, maybe one of his. I don't have one of his socks. If anybody has an. He had to have had socks.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess he had to have socks.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you just want one.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, oh, one's just gonna take sock. It's my sock and it's on my foot.

[Brett Morris]

It's blue suede shoes.

[Edna Cartwright]

Ye. I went a shocking from his blue suede shoe.

[Nicole Parker]

It's weird to describe, but she had like the same hip gyrations, but it happened in her neck and it was amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it was marvelous.

[Edna Cartwright]

My neck. You don't have a tall neck and not be able to move it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They wouldn't show that on Sullivan.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I really hope that someone hears this, Edna. And I hope that your brother has a wonderful 83 birthday.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes, thank you. And I can't wait to find out where he is when I get the telegram.

[Nicole Parker]

I hope that you get to find out sometime because you're lovely. I'm glad. Glad you're kept busy with your birds.

[Edna Cartwright]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're just a tall doll,

[Edna Cartwright]

you know. And oh, I look under your chairs because I got you boys something. Oh, and you too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that?

[Brett Morris]

What was that to me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

I don't know where you are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did you do?

[Edna Cartwright]

They're little bells with your names on them. And Bert, there's another one for your twin.

[Nicole Parker]

How did you know?

[Edna Cartwright]

I listened.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wait.

[Edna Cartwright]

I'm a toddler. Tall woman.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Edna Cartwright]

And my ears are large.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, but they are very, very.

[Edna Cartwright]

No, don't look. That's why I could.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We can see them like.

[Nicole Parker]

Like really she's wearing the headphones. But they just look like earbuds because. Because the ears are so.

[Edna Cartwright]

So they're Big. I get it. But they're fun to dress. They're fun to dress. It just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have those gauges.

[Edna Cartwright]

It's them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're like coasters. I've never seen gauges that size of you.

[Edna Cartwright]

If you. Thank you. If you need to put your drink down on something, use my ears.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Well, thank you for being here. Of course. We wish you the best of luck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Edna Cartwright]

And you do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, thank you. And we will keep an eye out for any Elvis or Maryland memorabilia.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is cheap.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes. I don't want to spend a lot, so I'm living off my bail money from the movies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long do you expect that to last you?

[Edna Cartwright]

I hope. I. You know what? As long as I'm alive, I. I hope when the money run. I feel like when the money runs out, my heart breaks and dies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure, I get that.

[Edna Cartwright]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Absolutely terrible.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I'll leave you on that thought.

[Edna Cartwright]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then we'll definitely. We will definitely find you some memorabilia that your 83 year old brother can put on a shelf and enjoy for the next three to five years.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yes. And don't be communicating communist.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, don't be communist, everybody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Even though it's. You're kind of in the clear now.

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah, you're kind of in the clear. But the fear doesn't leave. Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Lord.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, well, we will be back with the neighbor listen when the neighbor listen comes back. Hi, it's Jess. I have for sale marked down from $30 to just 10. It's a Sherry Ro Bundle of Joy doll and the COA is included. And that is okay. It's an authentic Ashton Drake Bundle of Joy miniature resin doll by artist Sherry Ron. It's part of the retired Heavenly Handfuls collection. Condition like new slash pristine. Includes original certificate of authenticity. That's the COA I mentioned before. Details, realistic handcrafted features. Smoke free home. That's. That's the detail of the home that, that I live in. Perfect for collectors of any sort. If you collect anything, why not collect this from me for $10? I'm asking $30 at best offer. That's old. It's now $10. And as you can see in the photos, it's just a it. Beautiful little resin doll capturing a baby when we all love them the most, when they are like two hours out of the womb. It's everyone's favorite, favorite stage of baby when they're just like, they seem the most fragile and the most like what's gonna happen. So if you would like to put this on your desk and look, look at it. You know, it's a miniature.

[Edna Cartwright]

So it's not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not huge. It's not huge. You can put it anywhere and just stare at it. Has a little hat on, a little diaper. You could swaddle it up or you could look, please get this thing out of my house. And welcome back.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, was that welcome?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that was a good. It's hard to come up with the new ones, isn't it? It. I don't know if I want to say that, but that was a good last one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Because we won't be doing that in season 11.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, we won't. It's not sensational.

[Brett Morris]

You know what I thought.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's that, Doug?

[Nicole Parker]

What's. What's that, babe?

[Brett Morris]

You could call us the three tenners

[Paul F. Tompkins]

because we've done a 10th season.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Guess you could. We're the three tenners. I want to be Pavarotti.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll be the one no one knows. Domingo.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug is the one no one knows remembers.

[Brett Morris]

Wait, Jose Bocelli's not in that? No.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's his own guy.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, he. The. The Three Tenders were pre Bocelli.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, that's true. That's true.

[Nicole Parker]

They were the ones who put opera on the map.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then there's the three Irish for centuries.

[Nicole Parker]

No, wait, what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Three Irish tenors as well?

[Nicole Parker]

Is that a thing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and they sing opera as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And Irish songs.

[Nicole Parker]

So we were. We were talking earlier about this issue of Tonille getting invited.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That wasn't supposed to be.

[Nicole Parker]

So what are we going to do about this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To be clear, what happened was I asked Doug if he would put me in touch with Tonil.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I could ask Tonil.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug put the question in there as well.

[Brett Morris]

I think you said, can you reach out to Toniel and invite him?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I did not say that.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did not say that. I wanted his info so I could. I could ask him. And you just.

[Nicole Parker]

You did it in real time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was the message that you sent to him?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's good question. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Read it off.

[Nicole Parker]

Find it and read it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Read it off.

[Brett Morris]

The a. I said Burnt's best man. Question mark.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's all it was?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, just. Now just add to that.

[Edna Cartwright]

It's going to.

[Nicole Parker]

Never mind.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I did do.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Brett Morris]

I did put a bunch of sunglasses, emojis after that.

[Nicole Parker]

Why?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And does that mean something surreal? Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Because you always see pictures of like. Like a wedding and, you know, for some Reason all the best men are wearing or all the sort of groomsmen are wearing sunglasses in the picture.

[Brett Morris]

Well, we kind of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is there anything cooler?

[Brett Morris]

No, we like to do it.

[Nicole Parker]

They always do it. They're like, oh, you know, we should do. Take that one picture. We're all wearing sunglasses.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. That's kind of. That's the type of guys we are. And when we see each other a lot, Tony and I, we often. We take our sunglasses, we put them on.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

And then we lower them down a little bit.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you got to do that. You got to do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you see each other. You have to scramble. Get them out of your pocket.

[Nicole Parker]

Business.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then tip.

[Brett Morris]

And then tip them real quick.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm really loving this new sort of trend of a groom getting surprised by his bride by tapping you on him on the shoulder. But it's just his best buddy in a dress.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't understand.

[Nicole Parker]

That's hilarious. Are you serious?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't understand. No, I've seen.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, you see it?

[Brett Morris]

I've never seen it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where did it. Come on.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are we doing this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why? It's not a. It's not a.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are we. I don't love that. Oh, we're laughing because once again, it's a guy in a dress.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not like you're making fun of a tradition that exists.

[Nicole Parker]

I. Well, apparently it does. There's a whole thing now where the bride has to, like, they do the bride reveal now. That's another thing they're doing on social media. You were never supposed to see the bride.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

But now have to post it when you see the bride. But I mean, now it's become a dude in a dress, and then we all laugh, and I just hate it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stupid.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are we doing this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's very stupid.

[Nicole Parker]

Get more creative, for God's sake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Also, you're adding more money to this whole proceedings now.

[Nicole Parker]

Exactly. You got a rent a dress.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A dress for him off.

[Nicole Parker]

What a great sentiment to leave our listeners with. Okay, so what are you going to do, babe? Are you going to just sort of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So the sunglass emoji, what does that mean to you and Tonio?

[Brett Morris]

It's just sort of a symbol of like, we're on the level. It's cool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so. So still, Tonio may not be thinking he has been asked to be the best man.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Did you mean to convey to him, oh, I would have liked to have been best man. But I'm cool with the fact you were asked and you said.

[Edna Cartwright]

Wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You said he Responded that he was in.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, he said, I'm in.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Brett Morris]

And then he put a couple cool guys emojis, too.

[Nicole Parker]

Cool guys emojis, I. E. Sunglasses.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Glasses. So I think you need to. I think there's still plausible deniability here. If the sunglasses thing just means.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. What does he think he's in?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what we both agree.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what I mean? If he says I'm in, what does he think he's agreed to?

[Brett Morris]

Not necessarily substantive. You know what I'm saying? I'm just giving you the point. I'm just giving you the exact.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. What I think you should do is write back and just say. Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I meant me.

[Nicole Parker]

I meant I'm going to be the bright. The best man. Yeah. I think you should say. Just to clarify. Unless you think that's not. If clarify is not cool tool to use, just say. What I mean is, I'm gonna be Burnt's best man. And then I guess the sun Sunglass emoji. What's the matter with that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that?

[Brett Morris]

It's not really the coolest way of putting.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. Okay, then what. Okay, put it in our letter. Put it into the cool translator. And what does that come out as?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, what's the coolest way to tell o'? Neill? I misspoke.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, that's probably my bad. All caps lock.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All caps lock.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, for

[Brett Morris]

my bad, I meant me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's in all caps.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no. How about I meant me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My bad.

[Edna Cartwright]

I met me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

And then a couple cool guys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. And that will do it.

[Nicole Parker]

And you.

[Brett Morris]

I think that'll do it.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you do it in real time so we see what he says? Because I want to know. And our listeners are our fan. Our listeners are going to want to know. And our fan in Argentina. Hi.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi.

[Nicole Parker]

Hi.

[Brett Morris]

Hi. So, yeah. All right. I fired it off.

[Nicole Parker]

Share a post while you do that, babe. Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, done.

[Nicole Parker]

So I have a post. It's already done. You're so fast at this. How come when I tell you to come down to dinner, it tastes like 20 minutes?

[Brett Morris]

My thumbs. My thumbs are insane. From the thumb wars.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought we agreed never to talk about thumb wars.

[Nicole Parker]

We had a weird sort of spate of fighting break out. No, I wouldn't say civil war in dignity falls, but it was weird. And it just began as an innocent thumb war between two guys, but then it got bloody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, they're all cocktails.

[Brett Morris]

Full tournament among the entire town.

[Nicole Parker]

Full tournament. It was like you could challenge each other. Arm wrestling movie over the top. That's right. It was like over.

[Brett Morris]

You could challenge each other at any time. Yeah, they. Yeah, but if.

[Nicole Parker]

If whoever lost the other person had to murder them with their thumb.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Only if you could do it, then it was legal. But if you couldn't murder them, you were arrested for assault.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. People got weirdly.

[Brett Morris]

You have to pull over. If somebody gave you the sign and they threw down the gauntlet, like even as you're driving past each other, you had to pull over, have a thumb war. The other person was the thumb.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you know that you can kill someone by. Wait, what? Say it again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was a thumb for gauntlet?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Did you know you could die by someone shoving their thumb into your belly button all the way through? It was kind of like how Houdini died.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Houdini?

[Brett Morris]

Houdini.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I got Houdini eyed. He stuck his thumb in my belly button.

[Brett Morris]

Wait, that's how he died?

[Nicole Parker]

No. Well, yeah, that's how Dee died. Deenie was our neighbor and Deanie died.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, dear. That's how deie died.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was. Houdini died.

[Brett Morris]

I thought that's. I thought you meant how you died. How. Deie the great.

[Nicole Parker]

No, not Houdini. We're not talking about Houdini. I'm talking about and how he died.

[Brett Morris]

I say how.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, but it was similar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it was similar. Yeah, same area.

[Nicole Parker]

Anyways.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, well, do you remember the cannonball? The guy who took the cannonball in his belly?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good thing he had those goggles on.

[Nicole Parker]

It's. Okay. This is a good thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, you ready?

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, put these on.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, wait, wait,

[Edna Cartwright]

wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Crazy.

[Nicole Parker]

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop everything. Well, as we wait. As we wait for. For Tonil's response, I'm going to read this. This. I'm going to read this post from Carmen and let me just share what the photo is. Where are we from?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Rockabella. That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

She's posting from. Oh, she's on the. She's on the corner of Cleveland and Pine.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

And it says. She has a picture of a flyer. And it says underneath other underlined, it's printed, you are trashing our street. Then larger letters, do not park your car here. Underneath that underlined, will be towed. And it says north. Well, the North Cleveland Pine community. It says. Got this very ugly note on my car. Please note that I parked exactly on Cleveland and Pine on the side street, not in front of a house. And there are no signs to warn it's proper private street or need for permit. So obviously my car won't get towed. But it's sad to see that we have people taking their time and ink to troll people and using the sheriff's department. That's all caps number as a north Cleveland pine community contact. Like, seriously. I guess they left the number of the sheriff instead of the actual community of the board. I'm sure they don't have time for this time of nonsense. Sorry. This is how it reads. I'm sure they don't have time for this time of. Of non sense nonsense. N o N E. Oh, not the

[Paul F. Tompkins]

fabulous musical Sheer Madness would be invited there too.

[Nicole Parker]

I've lived in this community for 10 years and this person does not represent pine Cleveland community in parentheses. Whoever that is. I hope they see this post. I'm not intimidated.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I tell you, I had enormous trouble following that.

[Nicole Parker]

I had enormous trouble reading it. She's so angry and it's way too long.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So she was parked in a place she was allowed to be parked in.

[Nicole Parker]

She claims she was parked in a place that she was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She illustrates. Here's all the reasons I'm. I'm allowed to park.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then somebody left a note or something.

[Nicole Parker]

But here's the thing. I feel like you could just say, don't park your Carter. We'll be towed. Why do you say you are trashing our street? How do you trash someone's street? By having a car there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is there a picture of her car?

[Nicole Parker]

There isn't. And you know, but I bet it's a trashy. I bet it's a trashy box. I bet it's like a. Like, like a Civic. How is it? Cervix. The Toyota Cervix? No, no, the Toyota Cervix.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's right. They couldn't do. Yeah, because Honda has the Civic.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll show you Honda.

[Nicole Parker]

And you do have to get it. You have to go in. You have to go in and get it scraped every year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would hate to have a car that needed a yearly scraping to believe me.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, exactly. I know how that car feels anyways. I don't know what she was actually driving, but a. I do think it's strange to say trashing her street. But also this is the kind of thing where you just. She. I guarantee you she knows who did it. Also, she is intimidated because to say it is to be it. Yeah, we all know that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We all know that.

[Nicole Parker]

And. And I think that this is something where there's probably like five women. You know, I mean, it was obviously a woman. There's no way. I don't think a man would ever pay attention to a car being on a street for a 24 hour period. They would not even notice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you don't think so?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Of a certain age. Men of a certain age would.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Men of a certain age would.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When? When they. When they deputize themselves.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. When they're telling you to get off their lawn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. They're in charge of the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so maybe it was older man. It's funny how she thinks that it took a lot of ink to print this up though. Took their time and ink. Guess what? It didn't take a lot of to do this flyer time or ink? No, it didn't take a lot of it.

[Brett Morris]

Speaking of ink.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, this is the kind of person

[Paul F. Tompkins]

that has a bunch of those printed up already.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, that's right. That's right.

[Brett Morris]

Tonil responded to me.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Speaking of ink.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Why is it. You'll understand. Help me figure this out. It's just one emoji. I've never seen this one before.

[Edna Cartwright]

What?

[Brett Morris]

It's a lock with a pen.

[Nicole Parker]

A pen through it?

[Edna Cartwright]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

There's like a.

[Nicole Parker]

Like a padlock with a fountain pen.

[Brett Morris]

A fountain pen with a fountain pen.

[Nicole Parker]

What does that mean?

[Brett Morris]

What do you think he means by that?

[Nicole Parker]

Quill lock. Quill Lock lock, Quill.

[Brett Morris]

Ink. What would that mean? Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm gonna go disappointed in me, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is toenail's last name Quillock?

[Brett Morris]

It is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then he throws signing.

[Nicole Parker]

There you go. He's signing off.

[Brett Morris]

Why would he just give me his last name in a. In a riddle?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, does he ever.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not sure it's a riddle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are all emojis riddles?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. It's going to change everything if that's the case.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought they were supposed to represent things one to one, I thought.

[Brett Morris]

I'm worried he's locking me out of your life.

[Nicole Parker]

His life or in general?

[Brett Morris]

In his house.

[Edna Cartwright]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't write to me anymore. He's saying.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I hope not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, quillock.

[Nicole Parker]

I wish men would just use their words every once in a while. I really do. I wish they would just say what's on their mind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Men would rather design a custom emoji than go to therapy.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely.

[Brett Morris]

They'd rather build a plot.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, you're indicting yourself. Yeah. You've never been to therapy.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, no.

[Edna Cartwright]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You should go.

[Nicole Parker]

Just occurred to it.

[Brett Morris]

You get to lie down on that couch. Right.

[Nicole Parker]

That's why he wants to go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can.

[Nicole Parker]

Like times have been. I've gotten him to almost consider it. I'm like, well, you get to lie down on a couch. And he's like, all right. But he's like, but can do that

[Paul F. Tompkins]

at home, you know, my friend.

[Brett Morris]

In fact, I am doing that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've mentioned before his therapist.

[Nicole Parker]

We have to have this friend of yours on sometime.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's tedious. I wouldn't do it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Believe me, I'm giving you the best stories.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He had a therapist and noted it was his first time going to therapy and noted instantly his couch is not long enough to lie down.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, now they do this aerodynamic, ergonomic. Not aerodynamic, ergonomic chairs. You know, the ones that you always see in movies. Like, it's a. It's like a black leather thing, and it's like a deck chair. You know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I don't like that.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't like that either. That wouldn't make me want to lie down and share. That's cold.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's cold and clinical.

[Nicole Parker]

It's cold and clinical.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Which therapy shouldn't be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't want to feel like I'm in a human zoo.

[Nicole Parker]

Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right.

[Brett Morris]

By the way. Oh. I have made the statue of myself a cyclops.

[Nicole Parker]

Why?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why?

[Brett Morris]

And I have it in the plaque.

[Nicole Parker]

It says there's plaques for all the statues.

[Brett Morris]

In the land of the blind, the cyclops is king.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess so I guess you can't argue about that. I mean, I don't think we have to. Yeah, I think right there.

[Brett Morris]

I think we'll see you next season.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you signing off, babe?

[Nicole Parker]

No. This is not how this works. No, you don't get to do that. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're not going to let you rewrite an expression.

[Nicole Parker]

I know you thought that was your mic drop, but. No. No. So why do we let. Let Bert handle it. Believe me, I'm not going to try it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Should I write to Tony?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, you might want to.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You give me his info and I'll take care of it.

[Edna Cartwright]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, when we come, thank you so much for listening. We love our listeners.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We truly do.

[Nicole Parker]

We love our few fans.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We truly do.

[Nicole Parker]

It'll be exciting because when we start season 11, and it'll be like, you'll already be planning for your wedding burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know, I know.

[Nicole Parker]

That's amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Joan, will you sing at the wedding?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I was hoping you would ask. I was hoping I wouldn't have to ask.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And Gabby. I mean, Gabby might ask you to be her maid of honor.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She might. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's okay.

[Brett Morris]

She doesn't tell you to say that.

[Nicole Parker]

Does she have anyone friends?

[Brett Morris]

Did she?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Female friends.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. I guess that tracks it.

[Brett Morris]

Did Gabby tell you to tell Joan that she might be the maid of

[Nicole Parker]

Close to being Done? She.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, to be fair, that was. That was me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She did say. I'm thinking about this. Do you think Joan would be into it?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

He's now getting really into the semantics of it because we came down so hard and for his emojis, his sunglasses, as communication. So I think that's why.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, but we had a reason to do that.

[Brett Morris]

I thought it would be interesting if she said to tell Joan you might be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But now, would you want to do,

[Nicole Parker]

like, I mean, in the mix for the bride, for the best.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I might cut you that way.

[Nicole Parker]

Made of otter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But would you do double duty? Would that be too much for you?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, I would love that. I'm happy when I'm doing too many things.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

What did she want me to sing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I I. She didn't say. I mean, what are the things that people sing at weddings?

[Brett Morris]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

Islands in the stream. This is Halloween from night right before Christmas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? She's probably gonna ask for that. If I know Gabby, she's probably gonna ask for it. This is Halloween from my favorite.

[Nicole Parker]

You'd be surprised at what people request. I've just done. I've done it all. I've run the gamut.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Brett Morris]

She does a beautiful. This is Halloween.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I have no doubt. I have no doubt, people.

[Brett Morris]

Not a dry eye in the audience.

[Nicole Parker]

It's acoustic guitar, you know, it's lovely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This sounds great.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, let me think about it. Okay. I mean, I'm not gonna get my hopes up about the maid of honor thing, but I will start. I'll start pulling together music, and I'll

[Paul F. Tompkins]

send you stuff I think you're probably safe with. This is Halloween.

[Nicole Parker]

Great. Done.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I'll just go through the formality. Easy for me.

[Nicole Parker]

I've already done it so many times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I'll. I'll go through the formality of asking Gabby if that's what she'd like.

[Brett Morris]

And I whistle. I can do any kind of whistle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't want to.

[Brett Morris]

Wedding theme.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I appreciate that. I don't want to count on that, because I do not have high hopes for your longevity in the men's whistling choir.

[Nicole Parker]

No, but you could just do it on your own. He could. Even if he gets kicked out, he could do it on his own. That's a nice offer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's no way they'll let you whistle.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's right. For the rest of your life.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. No solo albums.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

We've had to cut Dock of the Bay and Rhubarb Caravan.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, really?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, because they're twistling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So what do you do? You just play it on a different instrument. What do you play it on?

[Brett Morris]

We all do sort of mouth trump. It's. It's not technically a whistle.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, I just.

[Brett Morris]

Sean took over, but yeah, I wanted

[Nicole Parker]

you to sing with me.

[Brett Morris]

No, you're better at it. No, you are better at the biggest

[Paul F. Tompkins]

gasp we've had on the show.

[Brett Morris]

You are better at it. You're right.

[Edna Cartwright]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

We. We gotta go.

[Brett Morris]

We gotta go.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's. Let's all be friends again. And I love you both. We love you too. I speak for both of us. I speak for me and your wife when I speak.

[Nicole Parker]

I love all of you. I love both of you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I love both of you. Thank you so much for listening to season 10, or indeed as many seasons as you have listened. Thank you. It's such a pleasure to do this show. We adore all of you. We'll be back with season 11 before too long. In the meantime, you can go to cbbworld.com and sign up on the Maximus tier because we still put out bonus episodes even during our season hiatus.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So there you go. There's a. There's more listening awaiting you out there. Ah, so hard to say goodbye. But we'll be back. We'll be back.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Wait. Time to say goodbye. You almost said it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, the Bachelli. Where's the part where he's saying goodbye?

[Brett Morris]

I think one of these words is goodbye.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, we're just gonna wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There it was.

[Nicole Parker]

It's coming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There it was. Goodbye.

[Nicole Parker]

And arriva derce. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul.

[Nicole Parker]

Paul F. Tompkins and me, Nicole Parker

[Brett Morris]

and me, Brett Morris.

[Nicole Parker]

This episode's guest was played by Mitch Silpa.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sterling K. Brown and I'm Chris Sullivan

[Edna Cartwright]

and we host the podcast that now on Headgum.

[Nicole Parker]

Each episode we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[Edna Cartwright]

This is us.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are we gonna cry?

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Edna Cartwright]

Little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Nicole Parker]

A whole lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. Modify new episodes every Tuesday.

[Nicole Parker]

Summer adventures are better with Minky Couture. From road trips to ball games, beach nights to backyard movies, Minky has you covered. Don't miss the Everywhere blanket. Water resistant, ultra soft and made for life on the go. Wherever summer takes you, bring comfort along. Minky Cochrane, the original best blanket ever.