Chihuahua Photographer with Erin Keif

Summary

The Neighborhood Listen – Episode: Chihuahua Photographer with Erin Keif

Release Date: December 10, 2024

---

Introduction

In this gripping episode of The Neighborhood Listen, hosts Paul F. Tompkins, Nicole Parker, and Joan Pedestrian delve into the enigmatic world of Dignity Falls by interviewing one of its most mysterious residents, Emmett Tratterford. Titled "Chihuahua Photographer with Erin Keif," the episode promises an exploration of intrigue, wealth, and dark secrets lurking beneath the town's seemingly serene facade.

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Meeting Emmett Tratterford

At approximately [26:01], the hosts introduce their guest, Emmett Tratterford, a self-proclaimed photo and video artist with a peculiar focus: photographing Chihuahuas alongside their owners. Emmett's initial demeanor is charming, exuding an old Southern charm that piques the hosts' curiosity.

Notable Quote:

• Nicole Parker [27:29]: "Oh my goodness. Emmett, where are you from originally?"
• Emmett Tratterford [27:33]: "From here, of course."

However, as the conversation unfolds, subtle hints of Emmett's true nature begin to emerge.

---

The Tratterford Legacy and Dignity Falls’ Secrets

Emmett reveals his deep-rooted connection to Dignity Falls, hinting at his family's substantial influence over the town's infrastructure and social fabric.

Notable Quote:

• Emmett Tratterford [28:05]: "Yeah, we have oil money that we've been living off of for quite sure."

The hosts probe further into the Tratterford family's dominance, uncovering claims that they own significant portions of the town, including airspace and land rights down to the magma. Emmett’s assertions paint a picture of a town under the shadow of an influential elite.

Notable Quote:

• Nicole Parker [34:15]: "Why do you think it should be?"

Emmett elaborates on the family's control, mentioning their ownership of the new high school, a towering skyscraper that stands as a symbol of their power.

---

Obsession with Chihuahuas and Sinister Undertones

As the interview progresses, Emmett's obsession with Chihuahuas becomes apparent. Initially presenting it as a niche artistic pursuit, the conversation takes a darker turn as Emmett implies a more sinister motive behind his photography.

Notable Quote:

• Emmett Tratterford [40:25]: "Allegedly, me and my family like to hunt Chihuahuas and their owners."

Paul and Nicole grow increasingly uneasy, sensing the malevolent undertones in Emmett’s words. Emmett's demeanor shifts from benign to threatening, culminating in unsettling remarks about hunting people and Chihuahuas alike.

Notable Quote:

• Emmett Tratterford [40:35]: "By the way, there's a crossbow pointed at my head."

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Escalation and Confrontation

The situation intensifies as Emmett's true intentions surface. His references to hunting and the ominous presence of a crossbow escalate the tension, leaving the hosts in a precarious position.

Notable Quote:

• Nicole Parker [57:23]: "I have to say what I do. What I can offer you is a warm shower and a warm meal."

Despite their attempts to deescalate and assist, Emmett's behavior becomes increasingly erratic and threatening. The hosts find themselves in a confrontation where Emmett reveals his family's dark practices and his own twisted motivations.

Notable Quote:

• Emmett Tratterford [58:22]: "I want to hunt people."

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Conclusion and Aftermath

Realizing the gravity of the situation, the hosts attempt to end the interview and ensure their safety. The episode concludes with a harrowing encounter that underscores the sinister elements within Dignity Falls and the formidable presence of the Tratterford family.

Notable Quote:

• Nicole Parker [63:30]: "I think we should end there."
• Paul F. Tompkins [73:36]: "You think this could be an imposter?"

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the unsettling experience, leaving listeners with a chilling glimpse into the hidden darkness of their seemingly idyllic hometown.

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Key Takeaways

• Tratterford Family's Dominance: The Tratterfords hold significant power and ownership in Dignity Falls, influencing everything from local infrastructure to social dynamics.

• Emmett's Dark Obsession: What begins as a niche interest in photographing Chihuahuas reveals a disturbing fascination with hunting both dogs and their owners.

• Underlying Town Mysteries: The episode hints at deeper, more sinister secrets within Dignity Falls, suggesting that the town's tranquility is maintained by coercion and fear.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Emmett's Introduction:

   • Emmett [27:33]: "From here, of course."

2. Revealing Wealth and Control:

   • Emmett [28:05]: "Yeah, we have oil money that we've been living off of for quite sure."

3. Ownership Claims:

   • Emmett [33:46]: "We own 95% of the airspace over this town."

4. Sinister Intentions:

   • Emmett [40:25]: "Allegedly, me and my family like to hunt Chihuahuas and their owners."

5. Threatening Presence:

   • Emmett [40:35]: "By the way, there's a crossbow pointed at my head."

6. Final Confrontation:

   • Nicole [63:30]: "I think we should end there."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of The Neighborhood Listen masterfully blends humor with horror, taking listeners on a rollercoaster ride through Dignity Falls' hidden underbelly. Emmett Tratterford's character serves as a catalyst for uncovering the town's darkest secrets, leaving the audience eager for more revelations in future episodes.

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For more episodes and exclusive content, visit cbbworld.com and consider signing up for the Maximus plan to unlock ad-free access and bonus room adventures into Dignity Falls.

Transcript

[Joan Pedestrian]

Lights are going up. Snow is falling down. There's a feeling of goodwill around town. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere. Stockings hung up by the chimney with care.

[Nicole Parker]

It could only mean one thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

McRib is here at participate at McDonald's for a limited time. Why get all your holiday decorations delivered through Instacart? Because maybe you only bought two wreaths but have 12 windows. Or maybe your toddler got very eager with the Advent calendar. Or maybe the inflatable snowman didn't make it through the snowstorm. Or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling. Whatever the reason, this season, Instacart's here for hosts and their whole holiday haul. Get decorations from the Home Depot, CVS and more through Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Streets, and that's all you need to know to support the show and unlock the Ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the Bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor, half AB and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen, the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. Why don't you say something now?

[Nicole Parker]

I would love to. I just noticed we're both wearing baseball caps. And it's not like me to wear one. And it's not really like you to wear one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it's not. But here we are.

[Nicole Parker]

So sorry. You know, I was listening to. And at the same time, I wasn't. You know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think so. Although you didn't finish your sentence. But I thought, you know, I always do this intro, and I thought you must know it by now. And what have you jumped in for?

[Nicole Parker]

Like, when you do it. But are you annoyed having to do it every time?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what?

[Nicole Parker]

This is because you can. We can switch.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't want to hog it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, gosh. No, it's definitely. It's all yours to take because I just feel like you're better at doing it than I would be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But, John, you're the star.

[Nicole Parker]

Look how I get so distracted.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're the star of the stage.

[Nicole Parker]

I know, but that's if. I know, but I. I actually do better if there's an audience when there isn't one. I'm terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I see.

[Nicole Parker]

I can't Private speak.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like the Sundance Kid. He can only shoot when he's moving.

[Nicole Parker]

Sundance Kid. Remind me. That's like. Okay. I didn't know if it was in the context of Push to Cat. Butchie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Butchie From Justin to Kelly.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't know if that was the correct reference that I had in my head. And it turns out it was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes, yes. There's.

[Nicole Parker]

That movie's ending is bleak.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's very. But. Yeah, but I mean, I know what.

[Nicole Parker]

Was coming to them, but they just freeze. And then. And then there's just the sound. It's terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It goes into the sepia and then.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The mournful Marvin Hamlish piano.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. You know, some of the things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the Sting. He didn't do.

[Nicole Parker]

He did the Sting. This was Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. It was a mixture. It's bookended by Old timey piano. That piano that sounds like it's wet. You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

That's such a very good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like, oh, no, the piano got rained on. We left it out overnight.

[Nicole Parker]

Still gonna play it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it plays. Okay. And then the rest is BJ Thomas songs and Burt Bacharach.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes. It was of the era.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was that weird, Bob.

[Nicole Parker]

It was eras.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was both.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Okay. Well, yes, I'd like to say who I am, and then I want to talk about our caps.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

And I have a weird sneaking suspicion that Doug is wearing a cap, too. Doug, can you please wait too much? I need to see who I am first before we bring someone else into it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. Doug, listen.

[Nicole Parker]

They stand down and stand by Doug. Oh, if he. If. In that case, he's definitely wearing a baseball cap. Okay, so I am Joan Pedestrian. I'm, as Bert mentioned, I'm an actress. We just say who I was. Oh, you did it. Say it. Say who you are. Actually, I can do it. You are the pharmacist in chief at Dignity Falls Macy, and your name is Burt M. That's correct. Okay, great. And my name is Joan Pedestrian, and I am a realtor here. Sometimes I want to say real estate agent and then I want to say realtor. And I don't. This is. I'm very bad at speaking with amongst small groups, it turns out. But I'm also a local actor. Remember how we decided I'm not going to amateur any amateurs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pej.

[Nicole Parker]

Local actor.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Local actor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Homegrown.

[Nicole Parker]

Locals where it's at. Yeah, homegrown. That's right. I'm farm to stage. Okay. So my husband Doug, he always records from a different room. Babe, are you wearing a cap of some sort?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I sure am.

[Nicole Parker]

I knew it. What's on yours?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, I'm in an old fashioned dignity corks hat.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, the dignity corks, of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Who were famously.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They corked all their bats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So what?

[Joan Pedestrian]

They corked their bats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They finally embraced it. Yeah. They were baseball team that corked all their bats. They used to be called the gentleman. Isn't that funny?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The dignity falls gentleman. And then.

[Nicole Parker]

And then they corporate and they were anything but.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Remember they thought. What I read is that they.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They all had syphilis.

[Joan Pedestrian]

What I read that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that one guy drank it.

[Nicole Parker]

Ew. What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He drank a glass. Syphilis?

[Nicole Parker]

How is that possible? What does that even mean? What did she say? Stand down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He'll stand up. It's just baseball legends.

[Nicole Parker]

So.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, please continue.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I read that they. They named themselves the Corkscrew, thinking that that'll like be a big joke. Like, what if we corked our bat.

[Nicole Parker]

To make it so obvious? No one would suspect.

[Joan Pedestrian]

No one would suspect us. And then it turned out they were all corking their bats.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And everyone knew. Yeah. And everyone knew the whole time.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The balls would bounce off of them. They would bunt and get a home run.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Old footage. It's. It's true.

[Nicole Parker]

But that's actually why we don't have. We actually used to have a cork tree boulevard for all the cork trees that were on. It's the one. It's the one type of tree we do not have anymore in town.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's true.

[Nicole Parker]

Because all of them. And that was very suspicious when they all started just disappearing.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Seriously disappearing.

[Nicole Parker]

They were seriously disappearing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Seriously.

[Nicole Parker]

Seriously disappearing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, it was. It was serious.

[Nicole Parker]

It was so serious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And those trees were right next to the ballpark. And they were gone overnight.

[Nicole Parker]

What a weird coincidence.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And they had the best season.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe that gave them the idea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

What is that thing when someone says it was a real corker? Where's that from? What's that mean? You know what I mean.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

30S?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I think so. Does it mean it was something good? It was a real. Like, it was good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was something. I think that was exciting.

[Nicole Parker]

I think the reason that's.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, maybe a champagne bottle.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, maybe. Maybe champagne bottle. Let's take away all the articles. Maybe champagne bottle was reason. Maybe champagne bottle. It's. It's just big celebration. I think. What. What caught my eye about the cap that you're wearing and then the headphones. It just made me think we look like sportscasters, you know?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Because. And it just. It kind of gave a different feel all of a sudden.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Sometimes sportscasters will wear the hats in the booth and like, what are you doing?

[Nicole Parker]

I think be very funny. If you and I commentated on a sport one time, wouldn't that be funny? Well, because I don't.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not good at any of them. Like, I don't even know much about any of them. So I don't know what sport it would be. You know, I used to love women's tennis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Specifically what happened. You know, I used to really think I could do it back in the day. There were two things I wanted to do as a little girl. Interestingly enough, neither one of them was act one was be a female tennis player.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

And the other one was be a top gun flight pilot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Top gun flight pilot.

[Nicole Parker]

Top gun flight pilot. And I would fly plane.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you do. Maybe champagne bottle.

[Nicole Parker]

Cougar lost it, turned in wings. You. You are now it's maybe champagne.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe champagne bottles.

[Nicole Parker]

We're having fun.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Speaking of sports.

[Nicole Parker]

No, but isn't that crazy either? A tennis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Stand down, Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Speaking of sports.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll stand down, but stand by.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Stand by.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Speaking of sports. Wait, Doug said that? Who said speaking of sports?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did I say it? Doug said, but then told to stand down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Because you were going to say something.

[Nicole Parker]

I was just gonna say it's not crazy that the variance between the two. I either wanted to be a tennis player or like a fighter pilot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're very different.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, they're very different.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you can't do both.

[Nicole Parker]

Can't do either, it turns out well. But yeah, you're right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the larger problem.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, but what I just. I love the. I just loved watching, you know, I think it was. I also appreciate it as a singer perspective, from a singer's perspective, when I watched tens of players and those women, you know, that. You know what I mean? And I kind of got obsessed with that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

That was dead on.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you say you got obsessed with it, how did that manifest itself? The obsession?

[Nicole Parker]

I started using it as a warm up and I drove everybody crazy in the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because people thought you were in danger.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And I was like, that's one of the reasons I thought I could do it. I was like, well, I can sing. I could be like. I can have like a signature, you know, like hit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

And I love just how vocal they could be. Do you mean because women are always, like, totally quiet or like your laugh is too loud or whatever. And these women were out here just with like primal screams, you know what I mean? And they were so athletic and they still look cute in their little skirts. I don't know how they shove so many tennis balls up on the side. Do you ever notice that? It's like a clown car. It's like a clown with like a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't explain the clown part. That's the part I understand. What is like a clown car.

[Nicole Parker]

I just, I realized that and I had. Believe it or not, I had a better clown reference than the car. That I think makes more sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Like when a clown pulls, you know, like a handkerchief out and then it's multiple handkerchiefs and you go, where is he keeping them?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, exactly.

[Nicole Parker]

They kind of put. There's like. Okay, so a tennis skirt still has like little sort of like boxer, like stretchy shorts underneath, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And they, they on the side. They will just go boop. And just like shove like two or three balls up there on the side. On the side. I'm not talking about the middle. I'm talking about on their hip. What Not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why is it their responsibility?

[Nicole Parker]

I know. It always made me very mad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they have to bring these balls from home?

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no. It's when the ball boys would throw them to them, they just keep a couple on them so that they can immediately take like if they. I. I've watched it happen. Burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't do that.

[Nicole Parker]

That, That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's absurd.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. And for whatever reason, like. Yeah, they're. What a badass.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did I not know that this was occurring?

[Nicole Parker]

Babe, do you know what I'm talking about?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do the men do this? Do they shove.

[Nicole Parker]

Do they shove tennis balls, pockets, for God's sake. The women don't, but I think both.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But why is anybody having to do this?

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm with burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, because I think they like to just get to it. You know what I mean? They want to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, what's the ball boy for?

[Nicole Parker]

Right, Right. But you don't have to Worry about catching it. You know what I mean? You can just grab it. Grab it and go, what's the ball boy for?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's he do?

[Nicole Parker]

He runs and gets balls in the middle of play. You know, like, once the. Once it's like a set, a serve, and the serve goes out, they're supposed to grab it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who cares?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I don't know why I'm defending tennis and its rules, too, because I have nothing to do with it. But all of a sudden, I felt really on trial.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm mad now, really responsible for that.

[Nicole Parker]

My goal is to. Is never to make you mad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. But somehow it always happens.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, then, you know what? Why do we segue? Doug? What? Speaking of sports. Go.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I was just going to put a button on that one and say, I think they should have, like, a pitching machine that sends them a tennis ball before each serve.

[Nicole Parker]

A pitching machine. That's, you know, I mean, that seems.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Like in batting cages, it seems like.

[Nicole Parker]

It could go awry. Like, how do you adjust the speed?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, because they also have that in tennis.

[Nicole Parker]

Do they?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, yeah, if you want to play.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, if you want to practice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There'S a ball machine that will shoot balls at you.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I suppose that's true, I guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you saying use that machine instead.

[Nicole Parker]

Of ball boys somehow?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yeah, instead. And so they're not responsible for keeping some spare balls on them.

[Nicole Parker]

I agree.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They just shoot a new ball.

[Nicole Parker]

Although I have to say, maybe I wouldn't have been so obsessive women's sports if they had that, you know, because it was really. Half of it was how they were shoving those balls up there.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Joan, you had a planned signature Yelp.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah. How would you. How would you incorporate your singing talents into your tennis Yelp?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I wanted to do two kinds. Yeah, right. So one would be, like, if I had to really stretch, it'd be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Perfect.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you. I haven't warmed up, so I'm a little bit frustrated that my husband just asked me to do this how many.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Times during a game.

[Nicole Parker]

He knows he's putting me on the spot, of course. Well. But I would have probably tried to tell a story with my Yelp. You know what I mean? Like, so, like, I would have maybe tried more than two if I would. I. If I really go to my fantasy place, you know, that's what I would have done. But the other one would have been sort of like. Well, to be honest, I think that the demon Zel stole. Stole it from me. She must have heard me practicing tennis at some Point. I don't know. I just feel like it's very similar to the cry she does at the end of Wicked, at the end of Defying Gravity, you know? Do you know that show Burnt Wicked? It's kind of a big deal right now. Wow. Wizard of Oz. Have you heard of the wizard of Oz?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course I've heard of the wizard of Oz.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And so they made a musical about it based on the Wiz novel. No, babe. Nope. That's not the one catch.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug the Wiz.

[Nicole Parker]

There's no catch. It's not a catch. It's just. It's just not the show I'm talking about. Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So they made more than one wizard of Oz musical?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, what they did was this. This. This very clever gentleman. Wr.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Hbo.

[Nicole Parker]

No, it's not that either. No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They did do a musical episode, though. Who wanted that? God, what a grim show that I watched all of for some reason. Who?

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then like, oh, we're gonna have fun. We're gonna do a musical. Go to hell. How dare you show me the worst possible things in the world and then you're gonna do a musical episode?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, they say when things get so hard to handle, you have to sing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They do say that.

[Emmett Tratterford]

They do say that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're constantly saying that.

[Nicole Parker]

So basically, this very clever gentleman named Gregory Maguire wrote a prequel to wizard of Oz where he imagines that the. That the Wicked Witch of the west is evil. That's right. She's just a young girl named Elphaba Throp. And I know. I can see your face. It's very. You're very unhappy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Going back to tennis.

[Nicole Parker]

You're unhappy. Throp. You're going to be mad about this. I have a feeling you know how wizard of Oz. You know who wizard of Oz was written by? Do you know who that author is?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

L. Frank. Bob.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct. And what are his initials?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

L.B. l.F.B.

[Nicole Parker]

Elphaba. That's true. I'm not kidding. That's where he got the name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Trying to process this, my first instinct is that can't be true, and it mustn't be true.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, this is very timely, and I didn't even mean to bring it up, because I don't know. I don't know when this episode's coming out, but at least in this moment of time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Excuse me one moment.

[Nicole Parker]

Joan. Sorry, it must have been Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did you say?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Why wouldn't it be a lefty?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great question. That's actually. That's an honest question, and it's worthy of asking. Why wouldn't it be a lefty?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, it depends because those consonants make different sounds.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I've never seen a B written.

[Nicole Parker]

B makes a B. But when you're sounding A, you just said you've never seen what.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I've never seen a B written and said, hey, that's a B.

[Nicole Parker]

Right? But if you're sounding it out. But, babe, you have to think about when we were, like, teaching the kids how to read. When we would make them sounded out, we would go, B bad. You know, that's what we were always saying because my twins were always letting things on fire.

[Joan Pedestrian]

We always put George Thorough Good on when we taught the twins Alphabet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That song must have been very helpful.

[Nicole Parker]

It was very helpful. We had to say it a lot. I'm talking, of course, about my twins, Matt and Kingsolver. Matt and Kingsolver. Yes. And they. And so don't you remember what I'm talking about, babe? The Right. So I under. It makes sense to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're a good thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, but now I was gonna. I'd say that was the catch. That was a good catch, babe. Because you're right. I could see how that might be. You know, you could pronounce it that way. Anyways, the whole point is that it imagines that she and Glinda were roommates at a special school.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Glenda's the pink one.

[Nicole Parker]

Glinda's the pink one, Right. And it shows how they meet the wizard, and he's really not what he. He's cracked up to be. He's kind of evil. And Elphaba's not bad. She just misunderstood, you know? And then it became this huge musical on Broadway, and now they're making a movie of it, and it's premiering this weekend as we speak.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So the wizard, not just a bumbling snake oil salesman who traveled to another dimension, but actively evil, I mean, just.

[Nicole Parker]

Kind of has really, really bad intentions. Wants to use Elphaba's powers for bad. For, like, taking over the world.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oof.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Anyways, she sings this song when she starts to fly. There's no spoilers if you haven't seen this musical yet, everybody. I don't know what to tell you. So sorry. Burnt. You might be the only one who hasn't seen it, I guess. But anyways, I'm gonna tell you, this won't mean anything to you then, but all people at home might understand. But when I would go to hit the ball, if I didn't do the high one, I would do. Ah. That's what I would do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. That short. That brief.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that short. Trust me, it's too hard to do longer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I think that would really throw off your opponent. It might have been. I think that might have been a good strategy.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't you think?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So. Oh, well. Dreams sometimes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So. Oh, well.

[Nicole Parker]

Some dreams do have deadlines.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Boy, oh, boy. Joan, you. You.

[Nicole Parker]

When you're right, you're right, babe. I realize we didn't ask what room you're in because you're always in a different room every episode.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And did we ever get to your. Speaking of sports or no.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. What was your. Speaking of sports? Such as?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, that was going to be my. The. That's the room I'm in.

[Nicole Parker]

It was what?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Speaking of sports, I am in the domino's room setting up.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Joan Pedestrian]

An incredible domino display.

[Nicole Parker]

I could have sworn we had something like this before. But you know what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think so.

[Nicole Parker]

Sometimes it's new to me. It's new. You know, I think that you're. I think you're right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Coin room, maybe might be thinking of the coin room.

[Nicole Parker]

The bean room. It's so hard to keep them straight. It's amazing. We don't have a list of them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so it is the idea that you kick over the first domino, and then eventually a beautiful picture is made on the floor.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I didn't think about that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he's gonna start all over now.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, I also have a life size cut out of the noid in here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why? Oh, because of the dominoes.

[Nicole Parker]

Not all our listeners might know the noid. But you're supposed to avoid him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, the noise.

[Nicole Parker]

He was a claymation character, right? Am I right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sad story.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The noid was, I believe, a claymation character.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And that was all the rage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So the idea was the noid was annoying.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There was annoyed with.

[Nicole Parker]

He was in, like, a red superhero costume.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The noid. Anytime you had pizza ruined on your.

[Nicole Parker]

Delivery or if it was late or.

[Joan Pedestrian]

If it was smushed, that was the noise.

[Nicole Parker]

The noid.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Avoid the Noid.

[Nicole Parker]

Avoid the Noid.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then there was a man with the last name Noid who was not well.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Is this real?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, this is real.

[Nicole Parker]

Is this real as Elphaba?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes, yes. And I think he. He tried to take violent action against someone.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because he thought that this campaign was about him. Oh, dear.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, so he wasn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, then the noid went away for a very long time. We didn't use that character anymore. And then he just came back. I guess they thought the coast was clear. Maybe that man died in real life.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they thought, okay, I think we can get away with this now.

[Nicole Parker]

Little Caesar had great. A great, great season for like, a whole decade because of that. They really. It was all about him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everybody loved that little guy.

[Nicole Parker]

I think he's still around. I think he's endured.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's all he can say.

[Nicole Parker]

That's all he could say. Is he saying pizza, pizza, or is he saying pizza, pizza?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think he's saying pizza, pizza.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. He's just repeating.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I think he's like a Hodor character. I think George R.R. martin owes a debt to Little Caesars.

[Joan Pedestrian]

But that means that the origin might have been him saying piece of. Piece of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would you like a piece of pizza?

[Nicole Parker]

But he was doing it, and then.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course, there was a horrible tragedy.

[Nicole Parker]

He was doing it to protect somebody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would you care for a piece of pizza? And then eventually it just becomes pizza, pizza. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll never look at him the same way again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't believe I found this out at the same time.

[Nicole Parker]

Now I see him trapped in a loop, you know, a traumatized loop.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

My goodness. How about that guy? He had only got to say that the entire time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He still had to be nude at one point. Nobody here gets out without being nude.

[Nicole Parker]

But you still don't get any lies. Except for Hodor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jason Momoa. I don't think we saw his penis, but we definitely saw Hodor's.

[Nicole Parker]

That seemed like a missed opportunity. Oh, boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have a good time here at the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, I mean, we haven't really even talked about. I haven't caught. Caught up with you. You haven't caught up with me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, not at all.

[Nicole Parker]

And I bet we're out of time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think we are. We do have to take a break. When we return, we will have a guest right here on the neighborhood. Listen.

[Nicole Parker]

Hello, everybody. It's Nicole. Do you know what? It's the holiday time. It's the holiday season, and it is one of my favorite times. I love gift giving, especially because I have a kid now. And whether or not the gift is coming from Santa, sh. Or me sh. It doesn't matter, because the joy on that kid's face is the greatest. But I also really love giving gifts to my family. And you know what? It's really great when you get someone a gift that they wouldn't necessarily get from themselves. That little bit of luxury that they don't know they're missing. For quality gifts at an affordable price, my go to is quince. Now Quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself. Don't forget yourself this holiday season. Please don't forget yourself to everyday luxury at an affordable price. Something everyone needs in their closet in my opinion. Quince's iconic Mongolian cashmere sweaters which start at $50 or the ultimate year round gifts. Check out their 14 karat gold jewelry, Italian leather handbags and European linen sheet sets. Yum. Whatever you're looking for, all Quince Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. I want to be very clear I said yum, but that doesn't mean they're edible. Please don't eat them. How do they do that? How do they go with pricing at 50 to 80% less than similar brands? By partnering directly with top factories and cutting out the cost of the middleman which passes the savings on to you. Queens is on the nice list. Oh sure they are. They only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and they use premium fabrics and finishes for that luxury feel in every piece. Now I just recently purchased this incredibly chic and incredibly comfortable, incredibly versatile white button down shirt. It's a short sleeve shirt. I love it. It goes with everything. I'm never taking it off. I mean I will okay, gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price Tag. Go to Quince.com TNL for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com TNL to get free shipping and a 365 day return policy. Qu.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Discover the year's top audiobooks, podcasts and originals in all your favorite genres, from memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment, like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 heartfelt memoirs. Like Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's lovely one. The year's best fiction like the Women by Kristin Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com imagine and discover all the years best waiting for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is Chris Ahem. To all pet owners. Warning. A dog door will not keep your cat inside. It is a doorway to the outside. Do these doors need to come with a warning? They should be called pet doors. Any animal can go out or come in through one. Please remember and welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen we really covered it all in the first segment.

[Nicole Parker]

We sure did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And now it's time for an abrupt change of pace. Now we are about to introduce a guest. We have a guest here at the at the kitchen island in Jones home. And this is what we do every week, folks. We scour the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods. We look for some interesting people to talk to.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Based on their posts.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sometimes we contact them, sometimes they contact us. I don't think it's always scary.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, sometimes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And sometimes listeners will send them in if we have not seen them ourselves. If you would like to send us a post that you think is worthy of talking about, send it to us. Why is this idea so hard to express? It couldn't be simpler.

[Nicole Parker]

It couldn't be simpler.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you see a post that you think is interesting, why don't you screenshot it and send it to us at Burnt and Joan gmail dot com.

[Nicole Parker]

That is great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you, Joe.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, you're welcome.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now we have. This is in the in search of section of neighborhep and this is posted by Emmett. Emmett's headline looking to photograph slash film Chihuahuas plus owner. Hello neighbors. Emmett continues. I'm a photo video artist looking to shoot Chihuahuas. Little S in parentheses. Would settle for just one and their owners have a few ideas. I can explain but ideally both parties would be on camera shot in a simple tableau style as they interact looking to get stills and a short video clip. I'm flexible on schedule and can work at your convenience. Can compensate with image files of you and dog and or gallery quality prints. Please message for further info or if you have any recommendations. Thanks. Double exclamation mark. Emmett. And here now is Emmett. Emmett, welcome to the neighborhood lesson.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, hello. Thank you for having me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh my goodness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emmett, where are you from originally?

[Emmett Tratterford]

From here, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, but forgive me, has anyone ever told you have kind of a southern accent? We're normally not known as a southern. Yeah, a little lilt. I love it.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I think it's just coming from old money. I think that's what they are.

[Nicole Parker]

Old money will change the way you talk every time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every time. I mean look at Chet Hayes. So you are a photographer by trade?

[Emmett Tratterford]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, oh, I suppose not. Old money. I suppose you just. Is this just a hobby?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yeah, we have oil money that we've been living off of for quite sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely. There was a time that Dignity Falls had a big oil boom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And then they discovered there was just the amount of oil that they got and that was it.

[Nicole Parker]

That was it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And one per one family. Got it all. Hold on a second.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you one of the Tratterfords?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, yeah. Are my ears burning? You heard of us?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everyone knows the Tratterfords.

[Nicole Parker]

I would have put out a spread or something for you. This is a big deal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We didn't know you're rich.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, they're legendary.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They really are. Yes, absolutely. Everyone in Dignity Falls knows the Tratterfest. Of course.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I mean, we own half the town.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's true. It's true.

[Emmett Tratterford]

So I assume that you're a Chihuahua and its owner.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait a minute. Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are. I don't know who.

[Nicole Parker]

Hang on a second.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who should be insulted, but we. No, we are human beings. Both. And we invited you on the podcast because we wanted to amplify your message. It seemed like a sweet thing.

[Nicole Parker]

It did. But I'm also interested in why specifically Chihuahuas. And why specifically you want to film them with their owners and a short video. I'm curious about that part as well. So can you talk about it a little bit?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yeah, well, I want to shoot Chihuahuas and their owners.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. Right, right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's established.

[Emmett Tratterford]

That's the thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that's the part I'm asking about. How come?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, I have a very specific taste, you see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I see.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, she just looked right at me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you mean by that?

[Emmett Tratterford]

I mean, there can be a double meaning in every post. Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

What does that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's narrow it down to one for this purpose right now.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. Good idea, Bert.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, I wish we were at my place. Can we move over to my mansion?

[Nicole Parker]

It's a little. First of all, as a realtor, I would love to get my eyes on the Trford mansion. I mean, I've only heard about it because you don't allow it to be photographed, but, I mean, I. I have. There's so many stories about it. But as of now, you know, we've got. My husband is recording this in. In a different room. You can say, hi, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey. Hey.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Is he a Chihuahua or not?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm a little concerned that you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you know what a Chihuahua. What do you think a Chihuahua is?

[Emmett Tratterford]

A very small dog. A person who shakes when they're scared.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I understand. Oh, I understand.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Chihuahuas. Only a small dog, and it's not a small person.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, right.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I like when things are people that dogs shake when they're scared. You see, my hallways are lined with trophies, photographs of dogs, and Their human owners who I've shot. Wink.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what was that last part?

[Emmett Tratterford]

You said, I think I coughed.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you say wink? Did she say wink?

[Emmett Tratterford]

I think I coughed. Just now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She said wink, and then she said, I think I coughed.

[Nicole Parker]

But she didn't. She definitely winked. She didn't cough.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She said she was the wink.

[Nicole Parker]

Is she winking because she's actually shot these people. As in shot, shot them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's go back and ask.

[Nicole Parker]

I think we should. She should kill these people.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I don't know what you're referring to. Are you implying that I hunt Chihuahuas and they're humans for sport, so she doesn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like you're implying that.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Am I implying that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like I'm definitely inferring it.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, that's interesting. Well, all I'm saying is you can come over and I'll take your photograph and then I'll start counting down from 10 and we'll see what happens.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Maybe this is why there are no stories about the Tretterford Mansion. Because if you go there, you never leave.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Like a roach motel, we have you sign an NDA. A wink, A cough. Another cough just now.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sure that works.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I'm under the weather.

[Nicole Parker]

You have to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't just say cough. In a matter of fact way, a.

[Nicole Parker]

Cough, you at least have to maybe actually cough. That might help, but just to say it is not, it makes it sound even more.

[Joan Pedestrian]

By NDA, do you mean an adult?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Emmett Tratterford]

That's exactly what I mean.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Enda.

[Nicole Parker]

That's how he thinks it should be.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Have we ever had you sign one of those?

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Goodness, no.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not sure you've ever met. I. I know I've never met you. I've just heard of you. I've seen you in some pictures.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, yeah, I cut ribbons all around the table.

[Nicole Parker]

You sure do. That is sort of. Does everyone in the family sort of have their. Because you have how many brothers and sisters?

[Emmett Tratterford]

14.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. So 14 and each tre. Say again? 14 of each.

[Emmett Tratterford]

29 of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were a surprise.

[Nicole Parker]

I was right. Surprise. And you all, you each have like. Each sibling has their own sort of job about the town. Right. You're the ribbon cutter. You have a brother named Philip, I think. Yes.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You know him?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, again, I don't know him. I just. I just know that he's the one who like will smash a. This is the problem now. It's not such a big deal now because we don't have any books, boats, because we Don't.

[Emmett Tratterford]

It is a big deal. He put the champagne on the side.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, but then we lost that. We drained the lake, and we just lost a lot of water.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So now he's just doing it in buildings.

[Emmett Tratterford]

And people, too. And people, too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If somebody gets elected to office, he breaks a champagne bottle over their head.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Babies being christened in the church.

[Nicole Parker]

We have a new.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that one.

[Nicole Parker]

That's been a problem. That's been a real problem.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They got him a Nerf champagne bottle for that.

[Nicole Parker]

And just sparkling water. Sparkling holy water. Not. Not champagne, my brother.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Did you take the hot air balloon over here?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, of course. Yeah, I did. Do you see it parked outside? A slight wind could take it away. I'm feeling rather nervous.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I always see the Tratterfords in the air.

[Nicole Parker]

They are. They do love. They love the air.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They love.

[Nicole Parker]

They say they own that as well.

[Emmett Tratterford]

We do. We own 95% of the airspace over this town.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. That's why people can't build up.

[Nicole Parker]

We can't.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You can't build up and you can't build down. We.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know how we got. I don't know how we.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, Doug. Doug claims that he and Joan own the land rights down to the mail magma for their house.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. Because I don't know if we want to bring this up right now. I don't know if we want to bring this up right now because this is not. This is sort of. I'm not sure that everyone knows in this town what. How deep we're building, and it makes me very, very nervous.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Are you building down to the magma?

[Nicole Parker]

I would like to change the subject and say the one exception that they made was the new high school, which, of course, is about 50 stories tall, I believe it's like a skyscraper.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's the tallest building in the city.

[Nicole Parker]

Why do you. Why was that allowed?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Because we had them put our name on the building.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's right. That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, Go, Millionaires.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Isn't that a quaint name? We're billionaires, but we had the TV millionaires, and we make all those children pledge allegiance to us every morning.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, there is a Trford flag. It is. You know, curiously, it is a Chihuahua.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And an oil Derek.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Never thought about it. It's all coming together for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is the relationship between the Trford family and Chihuahuas? Where does that come.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Emmett Tratterford]

All right. I'm going to have to have you sign an NDA.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, come on.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I. Wow. Bert has no patience for that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if we promise to just cut this part out?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, there you go. Off the record.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Off the record.

[Nicole Parker]

Off the record, that's right.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, I don't know if you can tell by my features, but my great great grandfather was a Chihuahua.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, wait a sec. Wait a second. You know the way she said like that, that was just so normal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It started out real normal.

[Nicole Parker]

It started out real normal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Although I do get. I do get nervous. Somebody says, as you could tell from my features. And then I think, what I supposed.

[Nicole Parker]

To be able to tell, Will it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Make me a bad person?

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, I'm sorry. Do you really mean that?

[Emmett Tratterford]

I do mean that. And she was a Staying on our family.

[Nicole Parker]

Was this before you said, how many grades did she. Was this before the family fell into the oil business? Because I don't remember any great question.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Right at the same time. And he decided to go to New York City and be an artist.

[Nicole Parker]

The Chihuahua.

[Emmett Tratterford]

The Chihuahua humiliated us. He won a Tony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, I'm sorry, what?

[Emmett Tratterford]

He won a.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't remember a Chihuahua winning a Tony? You'll have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're the theater head. You have to tell me.

[Nicole Parker]

The only Chihuahua I'm familiar with that was used on Broadway was in Legally Blonde. And that was only in the 90s.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Was that the 90s?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Emmett Tratterford]

All right.

[Nicole Parker]

But then again, the 90s were a very long time ago. You know, longer than we think. When I really think about it. It's longer than we think. So I guess if I think back to it, that is around the time the oil boom happened.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Think harder. Think. Go back further. Oh, the original jet in Oklahoma. Oh, Chihuahua. He won a Tony for Anything Goes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. I. But I think. I think. I think maybe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Play it. Anything Goes.

[Emmett Tratterford]

What's the. The criminal, he played Moon Face Martin. You don't remember?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I don't think that happened. Him. And I gotta be honest, I have to tell you, that's not. There's no such thing as that.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yeah. Look, think back to the photos.

[Nicole Parker]

You keep saying think back, but it's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not a proof of anything.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Heaven Hop.

[Nicole Parker]

I can see when you say think back, you can see it in your brain. But just because it's in your brain doesn't mean that it's reality.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it possibly. Is this possible that the Trifords are so wealthy that they have their own Tonys, Their own Broadway?

[Nicole Parker]

Very possible. Very possible.

[Emmett Tratterford]

How do you mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I mean, I. I don't think.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that a great deflective question? It puts it right back on you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It really does. As if what I said was not a direct question.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Radio City Music Call is in my living room.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, there we go then. That clears it up. Players there. And I don't doubt that you have recreated some sort of. You know. Listen, as someone who's created a lot of rooms, I don't doubt they've created their own little Radio City Music Hall. Perhaps. Absolutely. But you should. But I also understand that if you were this rich, you probably are cut off from actual reality and you have your own reality.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nicole Parker]

Which includes a lot of your family being Chihuahuas.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Feel uncomfortable.

[Nicole Parker]

What are you mean? Well, I. I guess all this to say it still doesn't quite explain why you want to photograph more Chihuahuas and people. Or shoot. Which I forgot, but easy to. Oh, are we far afield?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We. We have. We've got a little far afield of the original reason we had you on.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, okay. Lemonade, I think.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, she brought some. Look at this. Is this from your like your own acres that have lemon trees?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yeah, my own acres. Lemon trees. Wink a cough.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, I'm not touching that. I mean it. First of all, it is in a beautiful solid gold carafe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And it's. It's sweating with w. With. With. With water on the outside. It's absolutely beautiful. And she's got.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's making me very thirsty.

[Nicole Parker]

Making me thirsty. But. But also, I don't know that you would like it because if you're not sure of this, one of Burn's favorite things is virgin lemonade.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I love virgin lemonade.

[Nicole Parker]

Just lemon juice.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, yeah, that's what this is. Virgin what? Bird?

[Nicole Parker]

What? I think she just said that because she get a little Russian just then.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Sometimes I slip if I'm tired. Sometimes they can slip.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does that mean that you are of the Trifords, are of Russian extraction or something?

[Emmett Tratterford]

My great, great grandfather was Russian.

[Nicole Parker]

This is the truth. Definitely wants Chihuahua.

[Emmett Tratterford]

So 10, nine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, what are you counting?

[Nicole Parker]

What question are we answering?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, I guess I'll just put down my mouth.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what she was doing? She was counting down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She was giving us a running start.

[Nicole Parker]

Does this really mean you think one of us looks like a Chihuahua? I'm so confused.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I'm saying that you answered the A ad, so let's play the game.

[Nicole Parker]

Answer the ad. We invited you onto a podcast. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We thought we. We were giving you a chance to broadcast your ad to a large amp.

[Nicole Parker]

Your question. Now, I don't want to really amplify this because it sounds like it's leading people to Their ultimate death.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You think a Chihuahua pervert wants to amplify what they've got going on? Wait, forget I said it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, that sounded like a.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a real. That's a. That's a real wink cough. It definitely needed.

[Emmett Tratterford]

No, allegedly, me and my family like to hunt Chihuahuas and their owners.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. She stopped. There is chilling.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You know what? I'm gonna take my virgin lemonade and I'm gonna head out.

[Nicole Parker]

Please, no, I don't. I really don't want you to leave in this manner because I. I'm so afraid of what you're about to go do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I want to try out on the streets.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I don't use the same.

[Emmett Tratterford]

All I do is cut right ribbons and hunt people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Is that illegal?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, it is.

[Emmett Tratterford]

That's what rich people have been doing for centuries.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't doubt that, to be perfectly honest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, it's something I suspected. It's in movies, but I never expected a rich person to be so upfront about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I know. I mean, this is like arbitrage coming right into our home.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you know the movie Arbitrage?

[Emmett Tratterford]

I do not. I am unfamiliar.

[Nicole Parker]

Burns favorite has Richard here. It's about really rich people that do bad things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Richard Gear, Susan Saran.

[Nicole Parker]

You probably identify with it a lot.

[Emmett Tratterford]

But I identify with Richard Gere. The rumors.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Of course.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Again with the animals. So can I ask you, and I'm afraid to ask this question, how many do I say, trophies or pictures do you have in the hallways of the Chihuahuas and their owners?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, I mean, it's miles and miles of hallways. I mean, you're the neighborhood. Listen, you've. You're familiar with people going missing around this town?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, wow.

[Nicole Parker]

It's mostly tortoises, but cats. Have you got some of those there, too?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yeah, we have them. Fight.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have tortoise fights?

[Nicole Parker]

A chicken and a. A cat fight. How does that work?

[Emmett Tratterford]

I mean, it's.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean. Sorry. A tortoise and a cat fight.

[Emmett Tratterford]

One moves very slow and one gets distracted by lasers.

[Nicole Parker]

So then they don't really fight? No, it sounds like.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I never said it was a good fight. You don't know what it's like to be this rich in this board.

[Nicole Parker]

Why don't you tell us a little bit about it? Is there anyone. Do you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you. Your parents are still alive?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

What are their names again?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Montgomery.

[Nicole Parker]

Huh?

[Emmett Tratterford]

And Chihuahua.

[Nicole Parker]

This. Oh, boy. I. That must be a nickname, because I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don'T pray that it is.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't remember that. I would have remembered.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you say pet name, does that mean that your mother is a pet of some sort?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Or does that mean I never said which was which?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. Montgomery could be the mom. Chihuahua could be the dad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Emmett Tratterford]

My name is Emmett.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Forgive me.

[Nicole Parker]

That's correct.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And okay. I don't. I mean, I rarely find myself stumped.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Sometimes I don't know how to move forward. Oh, dear. No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Down that put down.

[Nicole Parker]

We have to stop her from being bored. 6. Put that down there.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Something interesting.

[Nicole Parker]

I wanted to be a tennis player once upon a time. And I had a really fun way to sing while I was hitting the balls.

[Emmett Tratterford]

That's interesting.

[Nicole Parker]

I am sweating. I just sweat through my entire bra.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The whole thing.

[Nicole Parker]

The whole thing. Straps soaked.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Soaked through in Kristen. Oh, I can hear you. When you guys go over to your little corner and have a moment without me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I just say what? Jigsaw. He's so cute. What? He's so cute.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Little rosy cheeks.

[Nicole Parker]

I can't share that. Rosy cheeks. Are you insane?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Babe, by the way.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait. Way to help.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Babe.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you hear what's going on? Can you come down here, babe?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm shivering in the corner.

[Nicole Parker]

Why are you sh.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, like a Chihuahua.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug. The wrong thing to say.

[Nicole Parker]

She liked shivering.

[Emmett Tratterford]

He was in the domino room.

[Nicole Parker]

Ye. How did. Yes, he did.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I listened. Oh, 10.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Don't knock these over.

[Nicole Parker]

Interesting. No, she's not going to come in there.

[Emmett Tratterford]

N. Oh, my gosh.

[Nicole Parker]

Bert. You say something interesting now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I used to drive a nitro burning funny car.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. He did.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Remains my favorite sport.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I've never driven a car before. I've only been in a hot air balloon, in a helicopter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cars are wonderful.

[Emmett Tratterford]

In a yacht.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Here. I'm just. What I've done is I've looked up images of a Chihuahua. All right. I'm gonna show this to you. I'm gonna show this to you. I wanna see what happens. Okay. Emma, look at this Chihuahua. It's distracting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that reaction?

[Nicole Parker]

But it's distracting her. It is kind of working.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I'm. But I do want to know what that noise means.

[Nicole Parker]

I do. I just want to get her out of the house.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Okay. You made yummy sounds.

[Nicole Parker]

Did I? Do you unequivocally.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you eat these pets? Well, the trs. Are they eating the pets? Are they Eating the cats.

[Nicole Parker]

They're eating the dogs.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, God. I mean, you said you didn't want to sign an NDA, so My. My lips are sealed and filled with two Chihuahua.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God. So wait, does that mean she's. But. But if her dad's a Chihuahua, then that means she's. I'm so confused. Or. Mom, this sounds depraved. This is like that. Yeah. Joan, what was it? What was it? Saltburn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, Saltburn.

[Nicole Parker]

This is. Rich people really are weird and creepy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that movie was just like, hey, get a load of these guys.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it was over.

[Nicole Parker]

And then it was over. And then all the Instagram memes happened. I know, I'm sorry. I dropped the phone. Oh, oh, oh. That had the Chihuahua on it. So now I'm helpless to get.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Are you talking about my favorite movie, Saltburn?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, see, I knew it.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I love that movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is it about Saltburn that you love so much?

[Emmett Tratterford]

A slice of life.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, see, that's terrifying. Just a slice of life.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Just a regular Tuesday. You know what I'm saying?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I feel.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, brother. I'm coming in and out of this accent.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't worry about it. I'm not going to point it out anymore. I want to keep you happy and interested.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, when you say you can compensate with image files of you and Doc, first of all, you're filthy rich, but you won't pay anyone.

[Emmett Tratterford]

No, why would I? I am the backbone of this town.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emmett, what would you really think that?

[Emmett Tratterford]

What would this town be without the ribbon cutting and the champagne on the side of boats?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I wouldn't have said the two most important. We would figure it out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Feel like we'd manage.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I don't know. Okay, who would take photos of two people standing for a long time looking at the camera? That's half of what we do.

[Nicole Parker]

That jerk from the paper, is that one of your siblings? Yes.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh, he's the one who takes all those photos, meeting all the people and shaking hands, kissing babies. Oh, he's the mayor.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, I didn't know that. I didn't know the mayor was a Trford.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Shadow government.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like there is a shadow government.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? There might be. And I never want. I never want to be conspiracy theorist.

[Emmett Tratterford]

The mayor's always a Triford. We just give. We just give ourselves a different last name. Name. It's always a Tradiford versus a Tradiford.

[Nicole Parker]

This is crazy.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Trifers just sort of make up rules and tell everyone.

[Nicole Parker]

Although. Although. Hey, guys. New York guys, Listen Listen, we never seen a picture of Emma. We don't know what Emmett Trafford looks. I hadn't even heard of. I mean, you figured it out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think this could be an imposter?

[Nicole Parker]

I think it's just very possible.

[Emmett Tratterford]

What are we talking about?

[Joan Pedestrian]

They didn't get that much oil. It's such a small amount.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it was all the oil there was there.

[Emmett Tratterford]

So.

[Nicole Parker]

So they were still.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They got the whole thing.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Still had all the power.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Let me ask you some. Some Dignity Falls questions.

[Nicole Parker]

There you go for it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Quiz me on anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's the biggest body of water in Dignity Falls?

[Emmett Tratterford]

How many bodies did we put in the water? What was that? What was your question?

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. I didn't expect that. That. That was a real twist.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was. It's worthy of Barbatra. Not a lot of twist in that movie, actually. Okay. What's a. What's a good, like Dignity Falls trivia sort of thing?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, what is the name of the place where you would go see a show?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Radio City Music hall in my living room.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's.

[Nicole Parker]

No, that would be Dignity Falls Community Playhouse. Okay.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Huh.

[Nicole Parker]

I have the feeling you would never go out of the house except for to cut a ribbon and then immediately get into a van and I've driven back to your house or.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right.

[Nicole Parker]

You are not a true ruse.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You're on my side. I could tell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm going to ask.

[Nicole Parker]

I can tell. We don't get anything. Trust me. I'm getting scared. But I don't want to say that because I know that's what she likes. Do 10. Oh, no. Why does she keep doing that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm going to ask you. I'm going to ask you a direct question. A direct question.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Here comes Glad.

[Joan Pedestrian]

She starts over every time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's true. That is good.

[Nicole Parker]

She doesn't just to you. Oh, we'd be goners a long time ago.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. It's a good. That's a good. Bright side. It's good silver lining.

[Nicole Parker]

Thanks, Doug. Thanks, babe.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Do you mind if I shine my crossbow while you ask me this question?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Could you. Could you take the bolt out? A non committal noise. Em.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you truly a member of the Trford family or. Or are you an imposter? Or are you a black sheep of the Trford family that's been sort of excommunicated from the family properly?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's an interesting third option. Hmm.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Hmm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you can't cough or wink.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't call for wink. And you can't call and you can't call a friend.

[Emmett Tratterford]

It hurts not to cough or wink.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know. Gotta power through. Get off those grapes.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, now she's starting to shake.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, are you implying that I've been, I don't know, cast out of my family?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm asking you if that has happened.

[Nicole Parker]

That's exactly what he's asking you. Yes.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Very subtle about it. It's hard to tell what you're trying to think.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was.

[Nicole Parker]

It said very directly on the third. On the third question. I thought so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I thought so.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that true?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Are you implying that the only thing I have left is that hot air balloon in this crossbow?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Why would the two things to take.

[Emmett Tratterford]

And I'm just eating cans of tuna with my hand.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I didn't notice. But she does have a can not hand tuna.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You've never hit a. A rock so bottom that you had.

[Nicole Parker]

To eat tuna with your hands?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Are you telling me you've never been to hand tuna?

[Nicole Parker]

I think I have not hit a rock so bottom and led me to hand tuna.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I mean, I feel like I've come close to hitting a rock so bottom that I've eaten hand tuna.

[Nicole Parker]

I appreciate your candor. You have to open it with your.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Teeth like a beaver.

[Nicole Parker]

O Hope you're talking about the. The pole kind with, like, an actual tab. If not. Yike.

[Emmett Tratterford]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you mean like a beaver from a cartoon pretending to be a can opener? Sticking.

[Nicole Parker]

There it is. There it is. Wow.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Then I have to turn it around. All right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Wait, they have pull tabs on tuna cans?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Yes, they do.

[Joan Pedestrian]

More expensive ones.

[Nicole Parker]

Is there a huge price difference? I didn't notice, babe. Okay, no. Doug had his finger on the pulse of tuna prices.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I can't afford to pay these people for their two hour.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Where are you living? This means you probably aren't living at the mansion. Where have you been living? Not in the hot air balloon. O, that's grim, dear.

[Emmett Tratterford]

It's my bathroom and my kitchen. Oh, and my bed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you Remember that movie, Mr. Saturday Night?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. Yes, I do.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I do not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you remember that?

[Nicole Parker]

There Billy Crystal is in. And he plays in Old Comedian.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And we look back on his life, and when he's a young man and he and his wife have their first child, they would eat Chinese food in the bathroom. Like they'd put the cartons on the toilet.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I had forgotten about that. Oh, that's terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's an image that's burned into my brain forever. You can't eat Chinese food in the bathroom.

[Nicole Parker]

You definitely can't. You should.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I think you can with dignity.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh dear. I think that Emmett has had to do it. I think Emmett's had Chinese. Chinese food in her bathroom slash kitchen slash bedroom. Hot air balloon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emmett, have you eaten Chinese food in the bathroom of the hot air balloon?

[Emmett Tratterford]

I've eaten Chinese food in the hot air balloon while I go to the bathroom off the side.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So then that's even worse.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Is it?

[Nicole Parker]

It is. Can I ask a question? So are two things true? That there is some sort of shadow government with chihuahuas acting people?

[Emmett Tratterford]

You sound like a tennis player.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. That's a backhand, by the way. So. So two things are true. That all these other horrible things are happening at the mansion. But. But. But she escaped. Here's a good question. Are you kicked out because maybe you were trying to expose this terrible secret?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is a good question, Joan. Although I don't see how you got there.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess I'm hoping that she's like a whistleblower. This is a hope.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is inspirational. Question.

[Nicole Parker]

What caused the rift? What caused you to be in this situation?

[Emmett Tratterford]

Well, I wasn't bringing them enough Chihuahua and human skulls. And if I. If I bring them enough back, then they'll let me back in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is the most direct.

[Nicole Parker]

You.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You didn't wink or cough when you talked about skull. No.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? The mask has really come down. Yeah, and I appreciate that. So unfortunately you're still trying to win their favor back. You're trying to get. Get.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Can I stay here tonight?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, good heavens. I don't. I'm not comfortable with that. I have to say what I do. What I can offer you is a warm shower and a warm meal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A.

[Nicole Parker]

Because we've got a deli bab. You. Could you work something up from it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you like. You ever eat a Sizzler?

[Nicole Parker]

We also have a fully operational Sizzler.

[Emmett Tratterford]

What is a Sizzler?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a restaurant.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, of course. She's rich. She's rich. Yeah. She wouldn't know.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You mean when Butler comes out and puts food on the table?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Much like when Butler comes out.

[Nicole Parker]

Much like when Butler comes out. It's like when Butler comes out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's much like when Butler comes out.

[Nicole Parker]

It is. And gives you food. In this case, I hate to tell you it's called. This is going to throw you for a loop. Self serve.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I don't know what any of those.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't mean. So you have to get up with your legs. I know. Walk over and use your hands to put food on your plate. Wow. Good. Good. Forehand is broken out in a sweat so fast. Well, I mean, my bra's still wet, so.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Anyways, can I get a hug from Butler? The idea of having to get up and do anything for myself scared me. Something.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? You know what, honey? I will be happy out there tonight. I will get you a plate of food. I will get you a drink. We've had issues with. You know. In fact, we've had issues with the waiters at the Sizzler. Anyways, if you've listened to Talking about Jamie. Yes. Yeah. So I'm just going to take care of it for you. Okay.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Okay. Caviar and lobster.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? To be honest, that doesn't sound like something out of the ordinary for a Sizzler. But we don't have caviar. Right, babe?

[Joan Pedestrian]

No, we have Pop Rocks for dessert.

[Nicole Parker]

Same. Same.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Is that cocaine?

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, no, you don't want to do that.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like cocaine for your mouth.

[Nicole Parker]

For two seconds, Doug's dad voice came out. He really took a stance on drugs. You don't want to do that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Pop Rocks up the nose. Oh, you're in for a hard, hard time.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Nicole Parker]

And that's from experience. He's speaking from experience. He tried that with the boys one time. With the boys?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was a dad in lad project.

[Nicole Parker]

But it was more. It was more. They were like in. They were in the high school, so it wasn't so crazy. It was a dare.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, that's crazy.

[Nicole Parker]

They got that. They tried to snort Pop Rocks. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A man doing that with his sons. Yes. That's crazy.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, Matt didn't want to drink. Matt didn't want to do it. It was. It was. It was the other one who wanted to do it.

[Emmett Tratterford]

You sound like my family. We forget the name of our kids. Oh, thank you. I always do.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Kingsolver.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it was Kingsolver's idea. Thank. Thank you. I should have named them both. Easy names to remember. 6. I don't know why I did that.

[Emmett Tratterford]

5.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait. Oh, no, no. Doug. You gave her the idea. She started in the middle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emmett.

[Nicole Parker]

Also, by the way, I just offered you a free meal and a free shower.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And a hug, I think.

[Nicole Parker]

Kill me and a hug.

[Emmett Tratterford]

There's no dignity in that.

[Nicole Parker]

She's all on this about dignity.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you feel that you have dignity in your current situation where you're dining and bathrooming in the same basket. And then you're coming in here and you're still trying to win your family's approval with human Chihuahua skulls.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, I'm saying for you, I think I see a different, brighter future. I don't think you have to keep on trying to. Because here's the thing. It sounds to me like your family isn't going to give you what you need. You want, like, love or respect. And I just think that they sound way too. Pardon me, but fucked up to be able to do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry, Doug. He doesn't like it when I swear. Babe, this is. We're trying to help someone here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a serious situation.

[Nicole Parker]

Also, might I remind you. Might I remind you there's a crossbow pointed at my head?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're cowering up there.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Phenomenal.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I'm not the problem.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tell it to the noid.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug, I'm really in one of those moments where I'm about to grab the gun and. I got it. I got it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God, Joan, thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. I didn't think my bra could get wetter.

[Emmett Tratterford]

It is dripping wet. That is visceral to see.

[Nicole Parker]

It's got a little bit of padding. It's like I'm wearing two water balloons. All right.

[Emmett Tratterford]

So I can be above you.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no. You're gonna stay here. Emmett.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emmett.

[Emmett Tratterford]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't you.

[Emmett Tratterford]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't you see that now you have an opportunity. Oh, she's crying.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, don't cry, Emmett. I want to. People. She reminds me of Diliope right now, in this moment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have an opportunity now to live your own life.

[Nicole Parker]

You can change. You can be free.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I don't want to be free. Animals and dogs. Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

She's crying so hard. She sounds like a little girl.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Animals and dogs and people want to hunt.

[Emmett Tratterford]

I want to hunt people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, that's murder.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not what we do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's against the law. It's. We all. Now you live by them because you're outside of the bosom of your family.

[Nicole Parker]

Emmett. That's b bad. We don't hunt people. Okay? We don't do that. All right?

[Emmett Tratterford]

What if it's from the sky?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. You know who does that? Su Studio.

[Nicole Parker]

And nobody knows what that means, even Phil Collins. So I think that you right now, I think we've done all we can do podcast wise. I think what we're going to do is probably.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have done all we can do.

[Nicole Parker]

Podcast wise as a society or just now moment. But it's a good Question, Emmett. Yeah, but I think we have more work to do in general. But I'm going to stop this right now. We're going to get you food, we're going to get you a shower, and.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Then we're going to talk to my quick best friend, Richard Gere about this.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? While you. While you eat, you can watch. I'll set you up with an iPad. You can watch Arbitrage. Y might give you some bad ideas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Honey, you want to watch Arbitrage on iPad?

[Nicole Parker]

You want to start from the beginning? Yeah. Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You should show her the old Taco Bell commercials.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll do that too. I think this is going to really Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Maybe it'll be sort of deprogramming. Maybe it could be like a deprogramming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Taco Bell is wonderful food.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God. You know, when you start eating food that real normal people eat, I think you're going to be really happy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, definitely start with Taco Bell. Okay. And I think you should also watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua so you can see chihuahuas living and living their lives.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. That's right. Okay. Okay. All right, honey. Okay, we're gonna say Goodbye now. Okay.

[Emmett Tratterford]

10.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. I have the crossbow. I have the crossbow. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I love you. Everything's gonna be fine. Oh, boy. I love you too. Cough. Wink, wink, cough. Okay, we'll be right back. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

More with the neighbor listen. When the neighbor listen returns. Credit Karma is your evolved financial assistant, making managing your finances simpler and more tailored to you. Join [e-mail] to start your personalized financial journey today and continue to grow with our innovations. Credit Karma. Evolve your finance finances. Are you struggling to close deals? Cold outreach is wasting the time of both the buyer and seller at every stage, especially when sellers are using shallow and outdated data. Your organization can overcome these challenges with technology that translates comprehensive, high quality buyer data into real time insights. These deeper insights empower sales reps and teams to adopt the habits of top performing performers which leads to better outcomes like more pipeline, higher win rates and larger deals. We call this deep sales and we've built the first deep sales platform with the next generation of LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Right now you can try LinkedIn Sales Navigator and get a 60 day free [e-mail] trial. That's LinkedIn.com trial for a 60 day free trial. Let LinkedIn Sales Navigator help you sell like a superstar today. Just go to LinkedIn.com trial and get started.

[Nicole Parker]

Hi. This is Esther New Batman withstand $30 box was destroyed, but stored with care. No stains, marks or dirt. As you can see. This strong man, this mystery of a man, he's standing in front of my tree as he has done so many years before, guarding it and guarding the presence. And the box was destroyed because when I first got him, I said, there's no leaving me, sir. You cannot go back home. But the relationship has turned toxic over the last year. And while I am heartbroken to not see those muscles in that spandex every morning underneath my tree, of course, yes, the tree is up year round. It's time to move on. It's time to move on. So just. Also, I truly believe. And if you love something, set it free. And if it's meant to be, it'll fly back to you. All right, happy holidays, everyone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And welcome back to the neighborhood. Liston, Everyone is still alive.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. So everyone knows. Everyone's still alive. And Kirsten, currently, because we. It took a while because Emmett really didn't understand the concept of anything. Like, I had to actually spoon feed her. Literally.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So. And she wanted a silver one. I. And weirdly, we only had plastic black forks in there, so I had to actually go get her a true silver spoon. I had to get my good silver and feed her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She pretended to be born.

[Nicole Parker]

She did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

With the spoon in her mouth.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. She's actually been almost like becoming less of a. Of an adult and more of a small child.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's for sure regressing.

[Nicole Parker]

She's like a Benjamin Button.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? Maybe that's good. She needs to start over.

[Nicole Parker]

That is good. Maybe we'll raise her, babe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Anyway.

[Nicole Parker]

Anyway, she's. She's watching the Arbitrage bloopers right now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I love the AR bloopers. So funny. Deleted scenes when Tim Roth falls over in his chair. The one.

[Nicole Parker]

All the times that he tried that move with the cell phone that fell like 30 times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One time he pushed his ear in.

[Joan Pedestrian]

The one time where Richard Gere says albatross instead.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. He's like, damn it. I can't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can hear the whole crew laughing. And.

[Nicole Parker]

And then he couldn't unhear it. It's like when Benedict Cumberbatch said penguin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. That's right. Oh, Arbitrage. I love it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God. So anyways, everything's okay, but we have another post to share.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, we have time for one more post.

[Nicole Parker]

I do feel like I need to get back to her because I'm still wildly afraid of Her I want to be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, she's unhinged and dangerous.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct. So this comes from Lori with an I and it says. And here it is. It's just a picture of what I would say is just a brick sort of patio. Right. Burnt with like a shadow of the sun. And it's just like a frame of a door.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. There's maybe some railing of something.

[Nicole Parker]

Just to be clear, there's absolutely no indication of a house or at all?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

It says Lori says after being out of town for a week, I returned home to realize my 100-year-old house smells like an old house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was well acted.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm reading the post along with you and that was very well done. That's why you're the best.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you. How do you fix that? Any tips? And just so you know, we clean regularly. Lol.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I correct one thing?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sorry, did I mess up?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not. It's just.

[Nicole Parker]

You're right. It's just a dot dot. She was in a hurry space. She's disgusted by this house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's disgusted by her own.

[Nicole Parker]

First of all, everything makes me crazy about this post. Least of all Lori with an eye. There's no ind. There's no picture of the house. No, the picture. The picture doesn't look dirty and it doesn't look old.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Didn't need to be a picture.

[Nicole Parker]

There didn't need to be a picture at all for what she shared.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't photograph smell A. So what's a? It does seem like Lori thought you have to put a picture.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. For the algorithm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like it's required for the algorithm. You get more eyes on your post if you put a picture.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. Pick. For the algorithm I would have put clipart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like if a guy with a clothespin on his nose.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. So also I just. I for. It seems as if she's a never left her house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Because this seems like a new thing to her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like how long was she away? Does she say this is not like she went to the store and came back?

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Being out of town for a week.

[Nicole Parker]

She says a week. Okay. Yes, a week. And so listen, I understand what she means. I. When we grew up on the side of old Dig, you know, our house was old and it would. If you left too long, you know, there would sort of be like a lived in smell. But pardon me, first of all, never an ew smell. And also that's that many W's, not with that many W's. And also there's always kind of that smell with an old house. It doesn't change that much. She's acting like there's something drastic. I think what happened is she forgot to take out her trash. And she doesn't realize it because she's not very smart. And now she wants someone to come also. Any idea? Ideas? Lady? Take your trash out, mop the floor. I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So we've decided that's exactly what happened.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess I jumped ahead. I guess even. Even. Notwithstanding the. The leftover garbage. Maybe there isn't any there. This is not a mystery to solve. You know, you open the windows. All you gotta do is open the windows. Run correct. And you air out the room.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me. Let me ask you.

[Nicole Parker]

Burn a candle. Why am I so angry?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why are you really worked up about this? Who needs tennis? You can do it in your life.

[Nicole Parker]

That was a serve.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll say. Queen. I think I know what old house smell is, but then I'm realizing maybe I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a little bit musty. You know what it's very much like, you know, when you turn on the heat for the first time in the winter in a home, and it just kind of is like, oof. It's pungent. Yes. It's musty. It's like a book, to be honest. It is like putting your nose in an old book.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My parents would not turn on the heat in the winter when we were. When I was growing up.

[Nicole Parker]

Burnt. What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just wouldn't. Didn't believe in it.

[Nicole Parker]

This is.

[Joan Pedestrian]

You know what?

[Nicole Parker]

The more you tell me about your childhood, they would not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were allowed to turn it on in the summer. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

They turn on the heat in the summer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you want to. Go ahead.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And of course we wouldn't do it.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course you don't want that in the summer. Were they trying to troll you? That's terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were trying to troll me.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess the more you tell me about your childhood. I mean, from everything from the super burnt toast that you could barely eat through to not having heat during the winter. You know, I'm. Makes me think of one of the saddest little scenelets I've ever seen a movie which is in Scrooged. Speaking of which, we haven't talked about A Christmas Carol, but we'll talk about my show next. Next week because there's been some development. That's right. This is my one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way, when you pronounced it just now, I heard the comma.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you. Okay, good. I've been working on it. That's the first. That's the first part, is how to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hear it loud and clear.

[Nicole Parker]

Great. Thank you. Because her name is Carol, in case everyone forgets. Okay, so speaking of a Christmas Carol, that version, which was Scrooge with Bill Murray, and there's a flashback because he's with the gross Christmas past, played by Jake Johansson or something. He plays Buster.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Buster Poindexter.

[Nicole Parker]

Buster Poindexter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

David Johansson.

[Nicole Parker]

David Johansson.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

David Johansson was the comedian from the 90s.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, you're right. Wait. Yeah. Okay, got it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The curly hair in the.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes, yes. Okay. So then he goes back to see his childhood, and he's just a little boy alone, and his mom is smoking, and he's sitting, watching tv, and then his dad comes over and goes, merry Christmas. And he drops a pound of meat at his knees. That's his gift. Could it be more bleak? This was so. I can't stop thinking about it. So what he brought home was raw meat. And his kid only got comfort from television, and that's why he became a television mogul. This is terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like they went a little bit too far with the meat.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is like, you could say somebody had a bad childhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct. But, like, if you can steal meat from the butcher, which you probably did, then, you know, something nice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To his son.

[Nicole Parker]

To his son.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh, that was the gift to the son.

[Nicole Parker]

That was his Christmas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Merry Christmas.

[Nicole Parker]

Just a pound of meat in the paper. In the butcher paper. The brown butcher paper. And then it just falls to the thud.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Merry Christmas. I forgot all about that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, go back and watch it. It will destroy you. It devastates.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How about the ending of Scrooge where he just goes on and on and on?

[Nicole Parker]

There is a long part, isn't there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And it's. It's really like he. You could tell. He insisted, just roll the cameras and I'll take care of it. And then he didn't know where he was going.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you know what? I stopped. I couldn't think of anything after that scene. So. Actually, anything that happens after.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

After the meat scene.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct. After the meat scene. After the meet. Not cute. And I only can then remember the song at the end. You know, put a little love in your heart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bonnie and Clyde guy with the icicle hanging from his nose, he was the.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait. Yes. Oh, yeah. He made me sad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, he was right.

[Nicole Parker]

And Carol Kane hitting him with the toaster, that was memorable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you know what? Very funny. That the. That guy, that little guy kept thinking that Bill Murray Was Richard Burton. I thought that was.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I need to watch this again. And fast forward.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bill Murray does a very brief Richard Burton impression.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it really works. It does kind of look like Bill. Bill Murray.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Bill Murray did starve. Richard Britton. Really interesting. Okay, I really gotta go back. You know what? This is my Back to the Future.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wish I had an encyclopedic knowledge of Scrooge the way you remembered back.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe we should watch it. Anyways, so I'm gonna go check on Emmett because. And Lori, I don't know what to tell you, but like, just open the windows is what I would tell you. And check your trash bags.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I buy a Glade plugin.

[Nicole Parker]

Buy a Glade plugin. It's so easy. It's much easier than making a post with a. With a non descript picture do what.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The guy did in 7 and hang all those car air fresheners from the ceiling.

[Nicole Parker]

E. Oh, why would you leave that with everyone? Why would you leave us with that image? That's horrifying. I mean, at least I guess the only silver lining is I forgot about the meat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remember looking at that and saying, I wonder what it would smell like if you had all those air fresheners hanging from it. Looked neat. I thought.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. I think we should end there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Joan Pedestrian]

We've done all we can podcast wise.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug. True words. Well, folks, should I. Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's do the domino's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you going to do the jump?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, do.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Go for.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There they go.

[Joan Pedestrian]

There they go.

[Nicole Parker]

They're a lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sounds like a lot.

[Nicole Parker]

They sound bigger than I thought they were.

[Joan Pedestrian]

They're. They're life size. They're person size.

[Nicole Parker]

Life size.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that?

[Nicole Parker]

You better get out of the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What does that mean? Life?

[Nicole Parker]

It means I think he's running from them like that.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Like that woman kicking each one individually.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. There they.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is like those. I see those videos of people that have set up a sort of R. Goldberg contraption that doesn't work and then they just go down the line and they move.

[Nicole Parker]

It means he was running for them. Like that woman in Prometheus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just running a straight line.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How do you. How do you spend so much money.

[Nicole Parker]

On a movie and get to that point angle. Just the tiniest angle. Just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Come on. Nobody would. Nobody would be.

[Nicole Parker]

You should have known that would infuriate everybody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I saw Christine for the first time recently.

[Emmett Tratterford]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And seen him. It's. It's not good. And it's one of Those things where John Carpenter tried his best. He really did. But it's not a story that should ever be a.

[Nicole Parker]

But you know what? It's not that it's not. Not possible because Duel was a fabulous movie. Terrifying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was a different thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Were you ever so scared of a child?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because that's two. That's two vehicles. Christine. There's a way to defeat Christine, which is get off of the side, get onto the sidewalk, go up some stairs.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought she drove up the sidewalk to go after you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She could get on the sidewalk. Yes, but. But you could go up some stairs. I would say. I would say don't definitely run down the middle of a road.

[Nicole Parker]

We're doing that thing where we're doing a different podcast. Yeah. Seen a lot of films.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe we should just do a look at film. We each bring in some movies that we have problems with.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Let's just discol inebriate, folks. Okay. We have done all we can for.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This podcast that might end up as a bonus room. What am I talking about? Let me tell you.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, good segue.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you would like to hear ad free episodes of the Neighborhood Listen and you would like to hear our bonus content, then you can go to the. Go to cbworld.com Sign up on the Maximus tier and you will get access. Doug, I sense you're giggling.

[Joan Pedestrian]

I can just. It just feels like it's. It's slightly breaking down, dear.

[Nicole Parker]

He's. By the way, that's not nice, babe.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Also, I'm sorry, that was a little cruel.

[Nicole Parker]

Be honest. Are you trapped under a domino right now?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know, yes.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Well, how is that nice?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In what world is that nicer?

[Joan Pedestrian]

All I have is the noid to help me out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So go to cbbworld.com and sign up on the Maximus tier and you get. There's a bunch of stuff that we have that we have done in addition to the episodes that is really fun movie watch alongs episodes of other podcasts. Us just sitting around chewing the fat about Dignity Falls.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Holiday traditions and things like that. It's a lot of fun. So go there. CBBworld.com the Maximus tier and I think that's finally it.

[Nicole Parker]

I think we did it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll be back next week with another episode of the Neighbor Listen.

[Nicole Parker]

Until then, good bye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and me.

[Joan Pedestrian]

Nicole Parker, and me, Brett Morris.

[Nicole Parker]

This episode's guest was played by Erin Keefe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show. Ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.