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Paul F. Tompkins
Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.
Nicole Parker
And I'm Nicole Parker.
Paul F. Tompkins
On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.
Nicole Parker
Occasionally, we change the names of some.
Paul F. Tompkins
Streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.
Nicole Parker
And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.
Paul F. Tompkins
Knock, knock.
Nicole Parker
Who's there?
Paul F. Tompkins
Your neighbor.
Glendon
Good.
Nicole Parker
In Dignity Fall, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.
Paul F. Tompkins
We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.
Nicole Parker
We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in.
Glendon
To the Neighborhood Listen.
Paul F. Tompkins
Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen, the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. I am one of the residents of Dignity Falls. My name is Berndt Miapede. I'm a pharmacist at the Dignity. Dignity Falls Missy.
Nicole Parker
And with me, as always, is Joan Pedestrian. I'm the top realtor here in Dignity Falls and also an amateur actress.
Paul F. Tompkins
Were you? Were you.
Nicole Parker
I'm trying to get comfortable with the phrase. What did you say?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, you did roll your eyes, though.
Nicole Parker
I did, but, you know, they can't hear that. Except for now. You told them so. I rolled my eyes, everybody. I'm still obviously not comfortable with the phrase amateur actor.
Paul F. Tompkins
I guess that's true.
Nicole Parker
What were you going to ask me?
Paul F. Tompkins
I was. Is there a better word than amateur to say?
Nicole Parker
There has to be. There has to be. There has to be. There has to be.
Glendon
What?
Paul F. Tompkins
What? I mean, there's gotta be something local that. Deno. I like local.
Nicole Parker
It's better than amateur.
Paul F. Tompkins
It is better than amateur.
Nicole Parker
And it's shorter. And more to the point, I'm a local actress here.
Paul F. Tompkins
Amateur does sound. There's a little bit of insult to it.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely. There's a judgment. There's a. There's a. It just has a. There's just a lot surrounding that word that I think is negative.
Paul F. Tompkins
What about pretend actor?
Nicole Parker
Nope. It seems redundant. Okay, so what were you going to ask me? Can you remember you.
Paul F. Tompkins
I felt like you were mirroring my sort of broadcast style that I was doing.
Nicole Parker
Yes, sometimes. And that is a theater exercise, by the way. And it's a professional theater exercise, not an amateur theater exercise.
Paul F. Tompkins
So the amateurs don't do it.
Nicole Parker
What I mean to say is everybody does it. Liam Neeson's got To do it.
Paul F. Tompkins
What is the. What is the. What exercises do you think he does before they start rolling on the latest taken?
Nicole Parker
I think. I think he mirrors with his other actors.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you think. Do you think?
Nicole Parker
I think he does some elevator drills. Some. I think he does.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is that what they're called? Elevator trills?
Nicole Parker
I mean, people call them both. And I just smashed them together is what I did.
Paul F. Tompkins
They're either called elevators or trills.
Nicole Parker
Both. Both are correct. But people. Other say other things like blowing through the lips or. There's many.
Paul F. Tompkins
That was very straightforward.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. I assume he's still. I mean, listen, he's got to be classically trained. Right. They all are across the pond. So I bet you anything does a couple of, you know, Fancy Theater.
Paul F. Tompkins
Mitch McConnell's Milkshake Madness.
Nicole Parker
Mitch Milkshake Madness. That's, of course a callback to one of the tongue twisters that flew out of my mouth when you asked me for one.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's one of Joan's vocal warm ups.
Nicole Parker
Mitch McConnell's Milkshake Madness. It's definitely harder, first of all to do with a thick Irish brogue.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
And also, do you say Irish brogue or only Scottish brogue?
Paul F. Tompkins
I think it's a Scottish burr.
Nicole Parker
You're kidding.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm not kidding.
Nicole Parker
So I've been doing it wrong. Bert, you are very serious about this.
Paul F. Tompkins
Some people do say Scottish brogue, but I believe the appro term is burr.
Nicole Parker
Really? Where do you get that? Where did you learn that?
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I forget where. You know where. I read that.
Nicole Parker
I knew what would come to you.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was an interview with Rod Stewart.
Nicole Parker
And he was willingly reading an interview with Rod Stewart.
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I never said it was willingly.
Nicole Parker
Were you on a plane? That sounds like a plane article to me. Where else are you going to read an article about Rusty? An interview, no less.
Paul F. Tompkins
Doctor's waiting room.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's a good one. Okay. And what did it. What did.
Paul F. Tompkins
He was lamenting that he did not have the. The. In his words, Scottish burr. Like, his accent is very mild, apparently.
Nicole Parker
I see. Okay. Yeah. So mild. I didn't. I keep forgetting that he.
Paul F. Tompkins
Irish broke Scottish burr.
Nicole Parker
Irish broke Scottish burr. American laziness. Why is it lazy again? If you.
Glendon
Oh, gosh.
Nicole Parker
If you look into any kind of the. The acting that they do across that there's specific. We are lazy. We're lazy in the way that we talk a lot.
Paul F. Tompkins
Word.
Nicole Parker
I really think that we are.
Paul F. Tompkins
As a species.
Nicole Parker
As a species.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow.
Nicole Parker
But anyways, I'll start saying burr, which I think is very interesting.
Paul F. Tompkins
I Like that it is interesting and fun.
Nicole Parker
And just to answer your question, it is fun. The mirroring is really just to sort of like get sort of a connection with your partner and sort of a kinetic exercise where you're exchanging energy. Where. And it also might just be for silly fun and just warming up your face. And in fact, in terms of like, oh, you're going to make a face. I'm going to make a face.
Paul F. Tompkins
And that's. Oh, that's supposed to build a connection.
Nicole Parker
I think it does.
Paul F. Tompkins
That would drive me insane if I were doing something and somebody were doing it back to me.
Nicole Parker
Well, first of all, it's in a controlled environment and it would be limited to time.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm glad it's in a controlled environment and not just. What's the opposite of that? Where. Where would I be?
Nicole Parker
Where if maybe everyone that came up to the falsemacy counter. Can you imagine if they just. I'm going to do it right now. You. You just. Everyone at home. I'm going to mirror Bert when he's doing the. The Phar speak.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. Hi, how can I help you?
Nicole Parker
It's possible that I over mirrored that. I hate it. I hate it when I'm a real over mirror.
Paul F. Tompkins
There was no way I could interpret that other than insulting it instantly. It instantly was projecting. This is what you look like.
Nicole Parker
I'm so sorry, bird.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, I had. Nothing has made me this self conscious in a long time. I mean, this is my job. This is what I. I say this every day.
Nicole Parker
No, you knew what it was. You know what it was. I was just trying to over explain what the. What the.
Paul F. Tompkins
You thought if it was too subtle, I wouldn't get it.
Nicole Parker
Yes. And also I wanted it to be bigger so that I could actually do the example. And my impetus just went rode right through logic and I ended up making you feel mocked. And I am sorry.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was a very muppety face.
Nicole Parker
I mocked instead of mirroring. Yes, my eyes went way w than yours were and I'm. And I felt that straight to your mouth. Well, we'll never know about that because it's a podcast, but I'll take your word for it.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right. Only I will know. Only I have the knowledge of what you did.
Nicole Parker
You are the knower. An attempted Breaking Bad reference. I think it's time to check in with my husband, Doug.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, yes, Doug, our engineer.
Nicole Parker
He is an engineer and he's always in a different room. And you know, you fellas never let me get past a single moment if my Words aren't correct.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm so.
Nicole Parker
No, it's fine. I over mirrored you. It's fair. Fair play. Fair play. Burnt.
Paul F. Tompkins
Fair play to you. That's what our friend Liam Neeson was saying.
Nicole Parker
All warmed up from his mirroring and his. And his lip trills. Burnt. Your burnt. Doug is in. I think you might think this is kind of fun. And especially Gabby, your girlfriend, because, you know, she's sort of into the industry.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's true.
Nicole Parker
For a long time, you know how, like, the standup comedians, you know, go and do their. Their, you know, their. They bring their. Their show to different places in the country, and before they get on stage, they wait in a place called the Green Room. And Doug thought it'd be really fun if our house had a green room because we have guests, so it's a place that they can wait. But, you know, he went on a lot of, like, sites and looked up green rooms, and so what he really did is make it look like a. Like a shitty green room for a. I know now he put a lot of snacks in there. But what he's also done is we're just gonna start having our guests sign the wall. But he also put a lot of fake signatures and. Yeah. Hey, babe, do you want to talk more about your green room?
Doug
Sure. You covered a lot of it also.
Nicole Parker
Well, you know, one time I asked where you were, and you. And you. I could tell you looked at me and. And we're like, through the floor. You thought it was my turn to tell you where you were, so that's why I just picked up the mantle.
Doug
By the way, I would. I would suggest burgeoning instead of amateur.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's really good, babe.
Paul F. Tompkins
Burgeoning is good. A little.
Nicole Parker
He's been thinking about that word this whole time.
Paul F. Tompkins
It does imply you're going somewhere and you're.
Nicole Parker
I guess that's true. I guess that's true.
Paul F. Tompkins
It doesn't play anything else is yet to come, but there isn't anything.
Nicole Parker
It's like the most fancy way of saying aspiring or hopeful. It's like, it really sounds more. It does sound. It does sound, like active. You know, you're going to be burgeoned. Well, if you say it too much, it loses all meaning. Okay. What. Tell me what's going on, babe.
Doug
Yeah, I'm just trying to cover this wall.
Nicole Parker
He's doing a lot of signatures, and also he's not doing just comedians. I think you actually did a Rod Stewart. Do you have a Rod Stewart?
Doug
There's a Rod Stewart. There's a big.
Nicole Parker
What do you have Rod Stewart say?
Glendon
Big.
Paul F. Tompkins
Rod Stewart.
Nicole Parker
What was Rod Stewart saying? What did Rod Stewart say?
Glendon
Well, he.
Doug
I'm in.
Paul F. Tompkins
What did Rod Stewart say?
Doug
In this world? He's toured as a solo act.
Nicole Parker
Oh, in this world.
Paul F. Tompkins
This green room has its own universe.
Nicole Parker
It's got its own timeline.
Doug
He came in, actually, in the late 60s in the Jeff Beck Group.
Nicole Parker
Wait, is Rod Stewart a stage stand up in that timeline?
Paul F. Tompkins
He was with Faces.
Doug
He was in the Faces, and also Jeff Beck Group, which is.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was just called Jeff Beck Group.
Doug
Yeah, they had a great. Sounds great.
Paul F. Tompkins
Businessy.
Nicole Parker
It does. It does. It really does. I know. Oh, wow. I think Doug got a little testy that we're making that we're playing and having fun with the name.
Paul F. Tompkins
Don't knock it till you've listened.
Nicole Parker
And then he said, brother.
Doug
Okay, negative.
Paul F. Tompkins
Very macho man. Randy Savage or no Hulk Hogan. Did they both say brother?
Nicole Parker
I don't know, but they're both on the wall. Yeah.
Doug
And there's. I had the twins cover the. The penis art.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, they were allowed to draw. He had them draw it because I think that's the one thing they knew about this whole thing. And they're like, oh, yeah, guys, do our dicks. You know, and so. And so they drew them. And then, of course, now he's making them cover it up. It's a weird version of allowing our children to do graffiti and then also.
Doug
Making them clean fig leaves over every single.
Nicole Parker
Did they.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did they know when they were drawing the penises that the covering up would then be the next step?
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Did they, babe?
Paul F. Tompkins
Or did you act as if in this world, did you act as if someone else had done it and then said, guys, you got to clean this up?
Doug
No, I think that played better in, like, the 70s and 80s. And then in this world, we're. We're evolving paths.
Nicole Parker
He's getting confused, because I think he's just thinking decades in this timeline. But what, babe?
Doug
I'm saying there was a time where they could draw those. That art. And then I later said, guys, it's time now to cover.
Paul F. Tompkins
I get that. I get that.
Nicole Parker
Let's all take a breath. I wish you two can mirror each other, because I think this would help you connect, but you can't do it because she does see the person. That's right. That's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because that's. That's a big part of mirrors.
Nicole Parker
It's a huge part. I would say it's the main. It's really you that's number one.
Glendon
That.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is mirrors number one.
Nicole Parker
Mirrors 101, I would say. I have to say, speaking of the twins, of course I'm talking about my twin boys, Matt and Prince Ali.
Paul F. Tompkins
Fabulous. He. Ali Baba.
Nicole Parker
Prince Ali Fabulous. Ali Ababa. Listen, I was. I was. What's weird about that is I'm. The movie hadn't come out and.
Paul F. Tompkins
Which movie?
Doug
Which movie is that?
Nicole Parker
Exactly. Anyway, so now I have some bad news about their pilot, of course. We've been talking about. Oh, no, They've been. They sold a pilot about pranking your parents to the Chick Fil. A streaming network, Right? And they put a lot of money behind it and they decided.
Paul F. Tompkins
Where did they get their money?
Nicole Parker
No, no, no, no. Chick Fil A put a lot.
Paul F. Tompkins
I was gonna say.
Nicole Parker
Are you kidding? From me. They literally. They stole $100,000 from us. Wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, producing 101. Never use your own money. Money.
Nicole Parker
That's producing 101. Weird that mirrors. You'd think that it would share the same thing, you know, because you don't want to spend your own money on a mirror. That's another rule of mirrors. Anyways, okay, so bad luck.
Paul F. Tompkins
I understand. If you buy your own mirror.
Nicole Parker
If you buy your own mirror. Oh, get this out of my house. What are the other only gift mirrors? Oh, no. Is this like. Is this like Jones lizard tricks there?
Paul F. Tompkins
It's time for Jones memento Mirror. He's all the things.
Nicole Parker
You must wake up in the morning and you don't remember the rules about mirrors. That's why it's called momentum mirror. Yeah. First one is never buy your own mirror.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
Second of all, walk past it first very quickly.
Paul F. Tompkins
Walk past it first very quickly.
Doug
Can you glance?
Paul F. Tompkins
You're talking about the first time you walk past it.
Nicole Parker
Like, if you're leaving the house, you must walk past it very quickly. Or if you're coming home, don't let it catch you. Don't let it catch your reflection right away.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why is it by the door?
Nicole Parker
Well, because I always have to check out how I look before I leave. That's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
But you're.
Nicole Parker
Look before you leap, some people say. I say look before you leave.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right. But you're saying, walk me past it. I don't think so, Joe.
Nicole Parker
Damn. Felt like one. I got that feeling, that tingly feeling when you think something's a T shirt. Oh, well. Better luck next time. Kay. What are you asking about the mirror?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, if. Why are you if. I would assume the purpose of the mirror by the door is to see how you look before leaf.
Nicole Parker
Yes, Freely look before leaf. I swear it's a T shirt.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, walk me through how it's a taste.
Nicole Parker
A keychain. Maybe it's a.
Paul F. Tompkins
Maybe it's a keychain.
Doug
What if the T shirt had a mirror on it?
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's good. Like a real reflective.
Paul F. Tompkins
Something like that Time magazine. Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Cover when we were the most interesting person. We all know that was a lie.
Doug
That threw me for a while.
Nicole Parker
We all know that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Talk about insulting, resulting mirroring.
Nicole Parker
Doug framed it and put it in.
Paul F. Tompkins
His office, but then everyone who walks in there looks at it.
Nicole Parker
That's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
They're the person.
Nicole Parker
I don't think he got that.
Doug
But then I raised my head above their shoulder and said. I say, look at us.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow, that's nice. Yeah. I actually like that. Yeah.
Nicole Parker
That's sweet. Okay, so your question about leaving and while. And looking before you leave.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. You're. You're so it's look before you leave. But you also said you walk past it very quickly.
Nicole Parker
That's the first time. Then you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, the very first time. Okay.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, it's too.
Paul F. Tompkins
You come back.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, well, I have to work myself up to it. I have a really hard time looking myself in the mirror.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, why is that, Joan?
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean, again, like any. Like any. What was the word I'm supposed to use? Not burgeoning, not aspiring. Like any local actor. Like any local actor, I have a lot of insecurities, of course, and so I just. It's sort of like a. It's like a test run.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Okay, so number one test run. Oh, wait.
Paul F. Tompkins
Start with number one.
Nicole Parker
No, no, you're right. Number one. Never buy your Number two. Test run.
Paul F. Tompkins
Test run.
Nicole Parker
Number three, Sneak back in.
Doug
Okay.
Nicole Parker
And by that, I mean into frame. You know, and then. And just take up. Take. And then number four. Are we on number four?
Doug
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Be brave.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. And that just means take a breath and look and really try to take it in and find something. And then the last one is. Find something.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, and what does that mean?
Nicole Parker
Anything that's working, you know, and focus on that and try to say, hey, that part worked today.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are these really rules for mirrors? Because they seem.
Nicole Parker
They're just rules for me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, yeah. I was gonna say.
Nicole Parker
Okay, let me get back. Let me get back to Matt and Prince Ali Fabulousi. Ali Ababa.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, before we do that, let me. Let me talk about. You said be brave.
Nicole Parker
Yes. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
And I've never seen Warhorse. I've never seen it on stage or on screen.
Nicole Parker
Same. I Know exactly what it is, but don't. Don't know what exactly. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Exactly. I feel like that about so many things. Things.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, so the stage idea.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
I thought, like, a big part of it was, here's people, a bunch of people pretending to be one horse.
Nicole Parker
Correct.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you can see them.
Nicole Parker
Yes. That's this. There's no trick whatsoever.
Paul F. Tompkins
They do their job so well.
Nicole Parker
So well.
Paul F. Tompkins
Swear there was a horse on stage.
Nicole Parker
Yes. You stop looking at the people.
Paul F. Tompkins
Then the movie. They're like real horse.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. In that case, I don't.
Paul F. Tompkins
We can. We can have horse in the movie because it won't smell in the theater.
Nicole Parker
And it's just. And it's a totally different piece of art, is what it is. Yeah. Which I would have happily gone into a movie theater and watched a filming of the play of Warhorse. Right. This is what I'm saying, which I understand what you're saying, but here's.
Paul F. Tompkins
And I overstand. You understand?
Nicole Parker
Oh, yeah, that's right. The kids say overstand. Yeah. Babe.
Paul F. Tompkins
What was that?
Nicole Parker
Oh, I think he heard the word over.
Paul F. Tompkins
Stand.
Nicole Parker
I thought overruled. And, you know, he just. He just said sustainability.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sustained. Okay. All right. So I like the idea that sustained is a response to overruled.
Nicole Parker
Yes, I know. I know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Anyone in the courtroom can say any of these words at any time.
Nicole Parker
It's probably the two you can't put together. It's like you could think they are polar opposite. They really, really are. He just said. Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
The only thing I recall from the trailer for the movie Warhorse is, I guess some officer must be an officer.
Nicole Parker
War.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's war going on.
Nicole Parker
There's war. There's. Where there's war, there's officers.
Paul F. Tompkins
And here's what I intuited. This man has just ordered his soldiers to go forth into battle.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And here's what I remember him saying. I couldn't even say, I don't think this gentleman. I don't know if we saw him on screen.
Nicole Parker
Huh.
Paul F. Tompkins
But this is all I remember, and it's burned in my brain forever.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Be brave.
Paul F. Tompkins
Be brave.
Nicole Parker
Okay. So that's where that comes from. Because that's in the trailer.
Paul F. Tompkins
He says it first.
Nicole Parker
Is he take it to the horse or to the boy?
Paul F. Tompkins
That's a good question.
Nicole Parker
No, probably to the horse. That's why I didn't want to get anywhere near it. To the horse. I didn't.
Paul F. Tompkins
You don't think it's the boy's job to say.
Nicole Parker
I don't it's the. It's not called war, boy. It's called war.
Paul F. Tompkins
True, But I don't think. I don't think the commanding officer is going to take time out to say to the horse, hey, be brave.
Nicole Parker
This is true. I love how much we talk about different media and different films that we know nothing about. And we talk about it as if our podcast is dedicated to it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Boy, that's true, Joan. That's very true.
Nicole Parker
You know, the thing is, I wanted to avoid that story. I wanted to avoid that story at all costs. I was just so worried that horse was gonna die. You know, they have, like a website. Does the dog die? You can go to a website and you can avoid seeing a dog die in any kind of, like, TV or film. But I want. I needed. Did the. Does the horse die for that one? Now one of these, and I actually hear spoiler alert that it doesn't. So thank God.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, the horse doesn't die. Doesn't die.
Nicole Parker
All the puppeteers die.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, at the end, they fall down.
Nicole Parker
That's right. They fall down. They all fall down.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right. Ashes, ashes. Now, when the. Does the dog die? I always wondered what it makes me think. No, I didn't always wonder this.
Nicole Parker
Okay, I appreciate your candor.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's giving it too much. I appreciate your candor that I feel like it's seldom. You see. You see the dog actually die on screen.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, but for some people, that's almost worse.
Paul F. Tompkins
Like, they cut to a dog that's lying down, it's like, oh, no, he's dead.
Nicole Parker
Right. But I mean, even if it happens, it doesn't matter if it happens off camera. It's terrible.
Paul F. Tompkins
Just the idea of it.
Nicole Parker
Just the idea of it. I can't.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, I get that. That.
Nicole Parker
And maybe that's because I have a 30 year old dog. And so I've just gotten so used to him being alive. Why are you. What I'll do. I thought it was 30.
Paul F. Tompkins
Bern, you're trying to. This is. This is secondhand vanity. Bert Jones dog escrow is 50 years.
Nicole Parker
Old, and that's a mirror I can't look in. All right, I really want to tell the story about the twins, but I think we. I think we've been talking for a while, babe. How long we've been. He's got to put down his Sharpie. He was doing another signature. Who were you doing just now, babe?
Doug
Wait, hold on. I'm looking for.
Nicole Parker
He can't do two things at once.
Paul F. Tompkins
I still. I would love to know It's a.
Nicole Parker
Real process when we ask him. It's our seventh season.
Paul F. Tompkins
And we still.
Doug
2020. I was signing as the Osmonds.
Nicole Parker
Oh, very.
Paul F. Tompkins
The Osmonds.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, the Osmond. All of them. Yeah, that's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
What are their names again?
Doug
Donnie? Marjorie. Diane Smith.
Nicole Parker
No one knows Marjorie. No one knows Marie is short for Marjorie.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are these. Are these husbands that you know personally?
Nicole Parker
Oh, wait. Remember, Bert, it's a different timeline. So guess what? Have at it. Bab at it in this world. Correct.
Paul F. Tompkins
These are the Osman's names. And how many are there in total?
Doug
There's 19.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely. It's a lot. It's a lot even for them.
Doug
And Rod Stewart was in him.
Paul F. Tompkins
Rod Stewart was in the Osman.
Nicole Parker
Yes, he was.
Glendon
All right.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I'm surprised you didn't read that in that United article. Call.
Paul F. Tompkins
United Airlines finally caught up with Rod Stewart in the midst of his busy schedule.
Nicole Parker
And that's what it would have said. We caught up with Rod Stewart.
Paul F. Tompkins
Caught up with him.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy.
Doug
Should I get hair like his?
Nicole Parker
Oh, no, absolutely.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I think Doug could pull that out.
Nicole Parker
I was going to end with a Lee. Not a Lee. Not.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, absolutely, Absolutely. I think Doug. Oh, there might be an overruling coming. I think Doug could pull it off.
Nicole Parker
I'm not saying he can't, but just get a wig. I mean, you don't want that for a whole, entire, like, year. You want that. That's a lot. That's a big haircut for a year. Well, first of all, it would take. Listen to me. He'd have to grow out or, like, get extensions.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
There'd have to be a dye job. That takes months. You don't understand men. Men don't understand how long hair care takes.
Doug
Mine grows extremely fast.
Nicole Parker
I know it does. It actually is true. It actually is true. I call my little Chia Pet.
Glendon
Which.
Nicole Parker
Is weird because there was a Chia Head.
Doug
That's true.
Paul F. Tompkins
Remember that? There was a Chia Pet is more affectionate than Chia Head.
Nicole Parker
Sure is. And it's much more pleasant than the actual item of Chia Head.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you remember when they made the Barack Obama Chia Head?
Nicole Parker
No.
Paul F. Tompkins
And everybody just had no. Look the other way.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no.
Glendon
Not.
Paul F. Tompkins
Not a good look. Chia Richard Simmons. Sure, that made sense.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely. Oh, boy. All right, well, we. We definitely have to take a break, and we'll have a guess when we come back. Right, Bert?
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, well, yes, Joan.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no. Did I take all your lines?
Paul F. Tompkins
No, no, no. It's not that. It's that. Of course we will.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
You don't need to check with me.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Well, you look surprised. You look like me mirroring you at the pharmacy.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think so.
Doug
That was green.
Paul F. Tompkins
You would know it if you saw it.
Nicole Parker
What, babe? Green.
Doug
The Green Giant would make a good chia head.
Nicole Parker
Okay, Doug, that's great.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, we will return with the Neighbor Listen when the neighbor Listen returns.
Glendon
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Nicole Parker
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Nicole Parker
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Nicole Parker
Hi everybody, this is Mary Lou. I have got a cat figurines set for $10. Pair of porcelain cat figurines with musical theme. As you can see, there is just a darling, a cat, I think he's a tomcat anyhow, with a banjo and a real smart hat. And then the, the what I. I believe is be the lady kitty who's, who's wearing a dress and she's got a beautiful purple parasol and they're standing in front of this gorgeous vase full of blue stones. And you know, I had such a fun time with them. And it's real fun. You can just make up stories. I love to make up a story. I like to imagine that this is a sort of pre World war Southern story of a pair of star crossed lovers. And her name's Josephine and his name is Ronald. And their families just feuded all the time. And they didn't want him to play the banjo. They wanted him to go into the blacksmith legacy that his father owned. But he didn't want that. He said, dad, I'm an artist. Don't you understand? And they wanted Joseph Josephine to marry a terrible brute named Buzz. He was so awful. And honestly it was like no one wanted them to have their love. So they would have to meet behind the church. And that's where things got real Heated. I'll tell you what. If you look at that. If you look at that one picture where they're just staring at the stones, you can see what a cute little tush that Ronald has on him. Anyway. Anyways, it turns dark when Buzz confronts Josephine one night at the picket fence in front of her house where she lives. And she took that parasol and she stabbed him through the heart. And what their secret is, is that Buzz's body is hidden in that face of blue stones. That's why they're always standing in front of it, just whistling Dixie. So, as you can see, they got to get out of my house or else they're gonna get caught. Okay. Everything's all right.
Paul F. Tompkins
And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. And, Joan, as you predicted, we do have a guest. I was right here at the kitchen island with us.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
As you may or may not know, what we do is we scour the neighborhap. The social media application for Neighbors neighborhoods.
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
Social media application. Yeah, that's right. Right.
Nicole Parker
I think that's great.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Did it start to sound like burgeoning to you?
Paul F. Tompkins
I didn't know when I was gonna stop saying words.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I hate it when that happens.
Paul F. Tompkins
Social media networking application. I didn't say networking.
Nicole Parker
Is that right? If we listen back. Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
If we listen. Yeah, if you wanna.
Nicole Parker
We play the tape.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you wanna do.
Nicole Parker
Too bad this isn't a real courtroom, because then Doug could, like, read it back for us, but he only knows.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I know. We should get a synopsis.
Nicole Parker
We really actually.
Paul F. Tompkins
And a sketch artist.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do they all go to the same school, the courtroom sketch artist?
Nicole Parker
I don't know, but I honestly think they're all having a laugh. I really do. Because they don't seem serious, especially those guys, because a lot of the drawings that come out are like, did you try. Or are you. I'm sorry, I don't mean to on all courtroom sketch artists, but really, some of them lately have been a bit. A bit crazy.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you think it's guys from a boardwalk somewhere who are like, I'm gonna take a break from.
Nicole Parker
I would actually prefer that. I prefer a fun caricature over just, like, some weird impressionist attempt. Some of them barely even make a. Make an attempt to sort of, like, define features? It's very strange. Do you know what? I did not know how much I felt about this until you brought it up, but I'm on fire right now.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, that really struck a nerve.
Nicole Parker
It really did.
Doug
Joan looks at the paper every day and looks over the Sketch artist. It's just right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Every day.
Nicole Parker
First of all, if you can believe, I look at the paper every day.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, of course.
Nicole Parker
You love the newspaper, like anyone. You love anyone.
Paul F. Tompkins
We all love the newspaper.
Nicole Parker
And it's just really riddled with courtroom sketch drawings.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's so many. There's so many courtroom cases here.
Nicole Parker
Comic section.
Paul F. Tompkins
It has. Yeah. And nobody missed the comics.
Nicole Parker
No. No one. Really.
Paul F. Tompkins
Nobody missed the comics.
Nicole Parker
I don't even know what they are anymore.
Doug
Catch up with the adventures of Henry Prince Valiant.
Paul F. Tompkins
Prince Valiant.
Doug
I miss that guy.
Paul F. Tompkins
The Family Circus.
Nicole Parker
The Family Circus.
Paul F. Tompkins
Drabble.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy. Do you remember Drabble?
Paul F. Tompkins
I do remember.
Nicole Parker
All right. Okay. Now we should just get to this guest.
Paul F. Tompkins
Should. And so what we do is we scour the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for interesting neighbors to talk to. People have posted on there. And if you see one, perhaps on the neighborhap that we have missed, screenshot it. Send it to us@burntandjonemail.com you said all.
Nicole Parker
The things we had a.
Paul F. Tompkins
Thank you. A listener sent this in. One of our neighbors named Will. A. Case. Will Case. Will.
Nicole Parker
You think it's Will Case?
Paul F. Tompkins
Will Case?
Nicole Parker
That's a good question. I don't know because I'm just going.
Paul F. Tompkins
Off of people's email address.
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
If their name does not appear.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Is it Casey Wilson? It is.
Paul F. Tompkins
Like, it does not. Does that seem to be Casey? Okay, Wilson, but this is a post entitled Old White Ladies. No, it's in the crime and safety section. Old white ladies saw several old white lenses. This was posted by James.
Glendon
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know if that's important. Okay, we'll see if our guest.
Nicole Parker
We will.
Paul F. Tompkins
Needs to say anything about James. Old white ladies saw several old white ladies on Garfield on the way to work this morning, and they were all howling at the moon. I didn't know what to do, so I texted Sandy Simpson and he texted back and told me to call the chief of police. That's all one sentence, no punctuation. And here with us is, I think, one of those old white ladies.
Glendon
Well, thanks a lot.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I'm so sorry. What is your name, dear?
Glendon
Glendon.
Paul F. Tompkins
Glenda.
Nicole Parker
Hello, Glendon.
Glendon
Hello.
Nicole Parker
Thank you for being here.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, thank. We're delighted.
Glendon
Thank you for having me. Joe and Burnt. I take a lot of issue with a lot of things in the post. I've been quiet on the app. I've been on the app. As a resident, I like to know what's going on, but I really mind my Own business. I've seen a lot of things. I. I don't tell anyone.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, really?
Glendon
Okay. That's the kind of neighbor I am.
Nicole Parker
I see. I kind of like. I like you. I like you already.
Glendon
I just. I don't want to talk about it. I'll see you doing stuff. I could bury so many people in this town with what I've seen.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is there a sort of anonymous blind item you could give us of something you've seen?
Nicole Parker
Do you have a de moi on our neighborhood?
Glendon
Well, what was that guy's name?
Nicole Parker
James.
Glendon
Oh, James.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Tell us about James.
Glendon
I. I'm gonna find out about James. I'd like to come back on the show after that and I wanna.
Nicole Parker
We never had a guest. Barely start talking and already want to come back.
Glendon
Yeah, no, it's up to you. I'm not. I know. I don't make the calls.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are you saying you want us to have James on the show and then you will come back?
Glendon
I need more info on who James is.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, we don't know.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, we. Yeah, we're just seeing this.
Glendon
Well, all I know is I gotta.
Nicole Parker
Knock on door yeah, she's leaning in and pointing.
Glendon
I am.
Nicole Parker
Uh huh.
Glendon
It's not aggressive.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
No, I didn't think it was expressing myself.
Nicole Parker
You know, we love that.
Glendon
I've been very withdrawn on. I've been dissociating for most of my life.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. No. Oh dear. Okay, so this started out coming out of it. Keep to myself.
Paul F. Tompkins
You're just coming out of the.
Nicole Parker
Okay, well can we ask a follow up question on that? Because at first when you said I keep to myself, I thought, you know. Although it did have a whiff of like, oh wait, is this leading to something a little bit more serious? And this now sounds a little more serious. Can you talk a little bit more about why you were dissociating for so long and how long that's been?
Glendon
Oh God, I don't know where that started. I don't have memories.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you don't have.
Glendon
Yeah, lately I'm getting some flashes, but.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
I don't know, it's hard.
Paul F. Tompkins
What's the earliest thing you can remember?
Glendon
I guess Cracker Barrel.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Glendon
But it's hard to date that because I've been going so long.
Nicole Parker
Something must have happened at a Cracker Barrel.
Glendon
So historically I have a relationship with the place. I don't know if I'm remembering from when I was a child or an adult because my height in the memory, I can't tell if I'm standing up. Or sitting down.
Nicole Parker
Oh, interesting. I've never thought about memory versus height and whether or not that plays a part of.
Paul F. Tompkins
You should start thinking about.
Glendon
You should. It's real fascinating.
Nicole Parker
Can I ask how old a lady you are?
Glendon
I'm not that old.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
So when someone calls me an old lady.
Nicole Parker
Right, I see.
Glendon
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
If you don't want to tell me, it's okay. Not everybody wants to disclose their age.
Glendon
I am. Oh. Looking away, trying to think of.
Nicole Parker
She has monastic Desert Storm I was aware of.
Glendon
Does that give you a date?
Nicole Parker
Oh, so you're. You're just trying to. To age yourself based on things you.
Glendon
Remember and just sort of cultural movements.
Nicole Parker
Right. But you really don't know how old you are?
Glendon
I have a pretty good idea. I'm 57.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's old.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no, not at all.
Paul F. Tompkins
How did you. What. What led you to believe that this post was.
Nicole Parker
Can I. Can I see it?
Glendon
Do you have.
Nicole Parker
I wanted to take a look at it again.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Thank you.
Glendon
It's. It's. It's incendiary. What kind of good is going to come from somebody posting something like that? That a chief of police knocks on my door, my door, asks me about who I've been associating with. I know the chief of police. Vaguely. I've seen him shopping. I don't think he's shopping for stuff a normal person buys.
Nicole Parker
Oh, like what? What's he shopping for?
Glendon
He always gets a lot of ground beef.
Paul F. Tompkins
This is Tim Tourniquet, our chief of police.
Nicole Parker
Boy, oh, boy. Tim Tourniquet.
Paul F. Tompkins
And he loves making smash burgers. Burgers.
Nicole Parker
He does?
Glendon
No buns, apparently. Oh, no.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, that's right. It's just a gigantic patty.
Glendon
But I'm not posting on the app about that.
Nicole Parker
Well, I get it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. But everyone knows.
Nicole Parker
Everyone knows what?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, everyone knows he buys a lot of grub.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes, exactly.
Glendon
Okay. I didn't know. I didn't know everybody.
Paul F. Tompkins
He makes a big deal.
Nicole Parker
He drives to the grocery store with his siren on. Yeah. And he just. He just wails into the parking lot and he just parks. You know, he double parks, parks.
Paul F. Tompkins
He cuts the line.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
He clears up the ground beef section. Cuts the line.
Glendon
None for anyone else.
Paul F. Tompkins
He fires one into the air, right through the ceiling. And he says, I'm making my famous four man smash burger. It's one big patty that four people are supposed to surround and then eat with their hands behind their backs.
Glendon
Wow. So I'm not mad about it. Right. He can do that?
Paul F. Tompkins
Of course.
Glendon
Do that.
Nicole Parker
Can I Just ask you. Do you remember being with some friends howling at the moon? You seem upset that you were called an old white lady. So that makes me think you were there.
Glendon
I was around. I was around.
Paul F. Tompkins
Tim Tourniquet did show up at your door.
Glendon
He did show up at my door, yeah. Based on what? I don't know. I think James identifying me is what it was.
Nicole Parker
Okay, but can I just ask, what were you ladies doing? And do you. Were you howling at the moon or doing something that could be construed as.
Glendon
We were howling.
Nicole Parker
You were. Okay.
Glendon
How come the moon wasn't even out? Okay, so that was the first aspect.
Nicole Parker
So that's the part that's wrong. They're not howling at the moon. They were just howling.
Glendon
And it was a release of stuff. It's some gals I know. We've been trying to do some inner work. We started listening to podcasts recently and understanding a lot more about just the way things work and don't work.
Paul F. Tompkins
What are some of your favorite pods?
Glendon
I like I go to this for you section.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Glendon
And I just roll the dice. I've listened to Smartless.
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure.
Glendon
Wow. Those guys have fun.
Nicole Parker
That's fun. And they have so much money.
Paul F. Tompkins
So much fun money.
Glendon
I didn't even know they were rich. They just sound nice to me.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wow. Okay. Well, yeah, it's easy to be nice.
Glendon
So they're just doing it for the love of it.
Paul F. Tompkins
And yet no one is.
Nicole Parker
So true. So true. Burnt.
Glendon
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Why is that?
Paul F. Tompkins
Did that hit home?
Glendon
That really hit home.
Nicole Parker
Oh, it really did.
Glendon
I think I'm getting some memories.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, really?
Nicole Parker
Really.
Glendon
I don't. I just saw a wallet, so it could have been just. You said something and I thought of a wallet.
Nicole Parker
Okay, let's try to keep it. Let's try to keep track here. We have Cracker Barrel. We have Wallet.
Paul F. Tompkins
We have Operation Desert Shield or Storm?
Glendon
Storm.
Paul F. Tompkins
Storm.
Nicole Parker
Desert Storm. We have Operation Desert Shield. Yes, we sure are.
Glendon
I think it was getting us there.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Oh, well, we don't need to litigate that, but sure, absolutely. But. So you were howling, by the way. I absolutely love this. I have wanted to do this. I want to be a lady out there holding hands in a circle and just having a primal scream. Lots of women are doing this. Lots of moms go to a forest and they just scream.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is that true?
Nicole Parker
It is a thing. You can find videos of it on TikTok.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I'm good.
Glendon
They need to do it.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you're saying. Is this what you were doing, you and your friends Some.
Glendon
I like the way you just sort of legitimized what we were up to.
Nicole Parker
Oh, well, we didn't know. I will say I probably wouldn't do it in a residential area, which Garfield is. I probably go into the forest. The only reason I don't want to do it, I'm afraid of getting vocal damage, you know?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, sure.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Glendon
Oh, you're a local actor.
Nicole Parker
I have to keep my local vocal cords, my local vocals. I have to protect my local vocals.
Paul F. Tompkins
Protect your local vocals.
Nicole Parker
Now that's a T shirt.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now that's a T shirt. I honestly, that's a. I got the feeling.
Doug
I got the feeling.
Nicole Parker
That's my husband, Doug. He's in the green room, which he might have been sitting in before this, but might have not. Not have been.
Glendon
I was in. I saw a lot of stuff in there.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Glendon
I had. Got a lot of nut bars for snacks.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yeah?
Glendon
Yeah. And you've got a lot.
Nicole Parker
I had to get so many nut bars.
Doug
There's a whole bar of nut bars.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Instead of us.
Doug
You're right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Kind bar. As you. You saved some money. You got business like bars.
Doug
That's right. I also famously the opposite of. I took some saltines, just kind of crushed them into the couch cushions too.
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure. To give it that real feel. I saw comedians are always mainlining.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is that one of the names you put on there? Ina Garden.
Glendon
I saw that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Again, it's a different time.
Paul F. Tompkins
Very eclectic.
Nicole Parker
She does a real tight 10. Okay, so fine. If you weren't necessarily. Was this the first time you had done this howling or was this spontaneous?
Glendon
A lot of, you know, lightning can strike twice. Is this sort of thing. It was.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, that's what they always say. Lightning can strike twice.
Glendon
I made some friends.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
How many friends are we talking? James says several.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Huh.
Glendon
Several implies three or more.
Nicole Parker
That's what I always say. Right.
Paul F. Tompkins
I disagree. Really?
Glendon
How many are you?
Paul F. Tompkins
A couple is two, few is three.
Nicole Parker
Oh, several is three. Oh, hard seven with a bullet.
Glendon
There were. Well, that's crazy. There were seven of us, including. Wow.
Nicole Parker
Birds. You were right.
Paul F. Tompkins
What are their names?
Glendon
Oh, gosh. We don't even exchange names.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, you don't?
Glendon
That's convenient. No, I. I only know Deborah, but we don't refer to each other by name.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you pretend to not know each other?
Glendon
Oh, it's. Oh, so one thing leads to another. You know, the bingo night.
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Glendon
I go there. I usually don't even get a card. I'm just. I like the chaos of it. I love Seeing people happy. The winners are so fun.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. But it is very intense.
Glendon
It's an intense.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, it's Jingo Bingo, which is. It's a very overtly patriotic bingo night.
Glendon
I love that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Where everyone's wearing American flag stuff.
Glendon
It's intense, but it gives you. So it reminds you, oh, we're part of this.
Nicole Parker
And Tim tourniquet plays and he shoots the ceiling every time instead of saying bingo.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Glendon
Yeah. Tim's there.
Paul F. Tompkins
And after somebody yells, go, everyone else yell, America.
Glendon
The trumpets come out the bugle.
Nicole Parker
Yes. Action. There's a band.
Glendon
It's an environment.
Nicole Parker
That is true.
Glendon
I made friends with Deb at bingo night.
Nicole Parker
Okay, so now that's one of the gals.
Glendon
That's one. That's the only one I know.
Nicole Parker
The only one. You know the name.
Paul F. Tompkins
Never find out your name, by the.
Glendon
Way.
Nicole Parker
Which I love. I love that name.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's a beautiful name.
Glendon
Thank you. I wish I knew where it came from.
Nicole Parker
And I was going to ask you. I realized you wouldn't know, but we might get to the bottom it again.
Glendon
I love it.
Nicole Parker
Just for everyone, keeping track at home, keeping score. We've got Cracker Barrel Wallet, Operation Desert Storm. I think that's it.
Glendon
Bingo.
Nicole Parker
And. Well. Bingo. But that was recently. That was.
Glendon
But I remember it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. I think. I think we're trying to.
Nicole Parker
I think we're looking for a harder evidence.
Glendon
I don't know how we're going to.
Nicole Parker
Figure this thing out and we might not. We don't promise to.
Glendon
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think we need to focus on the memories you have before you stopped disassociating, even.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Glendon
Okay. Well, anyway, Deb bought me a bingo sheet one day, and I told her, I don't use the sheet.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right. You just go for the.
Glendon
I just like to be.
Nicole Parker
You go for the environment. Yes.
Glendon
And she said, tonight you're going to use the sheet. My name's Deborah.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wow.
Glendon
And I thought, my God, I've got. Something's going on here.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Glendon
People don't usually talk to me like this or anything. So we held hands for a second.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's lovely.
Glendon
And. And I think when I replay it, she was shaking my hand.
Nicole Parker
When you replay it in your mind.
Glendon
Okay. I thought we were holding hands.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Glendon
So we sat in that for a minute.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
And then.
Paul F. Tompkins
What does that mean?
Glendon
I was. I was gripping her hand against her will, ultimately.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, because you thought it was a hold and she thought it was a catch and release.
Glendon
Okay, that's exactly right. But she was very gracious about the whole Thing. I. I snapped out of it. I was kind of gone. When I was touching her hand. Oh. And I.
Nicole Parker
Do you remember where you went?
Glendon
It was.
Nicole Parker
What did you see?
Glendon
It was stormy.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
But a nice storm.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Glendon
Warm.
Paul F. Tompkins
A warm tropical storm.
Glendon
Storm. What?
Paul F. Tompkins
Quiet storm.
Glendon
A quiet storm.
Paul F. Tompkins
Shutting.
Glendon
There was no sound.
Paul F. Tompkins
There was no sound. That's a quiet storm.
Glendon
Very quiet.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you could see what, Thunder and light lightning or.
Glendon
I could feel the warm rain.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, you were outside.
Nicole Parker
It's lovely.
Glendon
I was outside.
Nicole Parker
You're outside in the warm rain.
Paul F. Tompkins
No sound, though.
Glendon
There's never sound.
Paul F. Tompkins
What do you. What does that mean?
Nicole Parker
In your memories. You mean.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
When these memories flash, there's no sound. Okay, so in your cracker Barrel, you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Don'T know how tall you are and you can't hear anything.
Nicole Parker
Right.
Glendon
Which cracker barrel?
Nicole Parker
Famously. Famously noisy.
Glendon
The ignoramus. Oh, you know the. The peg game.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is that what it's called?
Glendon
No, that's one of the. That's the worst ranking.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Paul F. Tompkins
That seems hard to.
Nicole Parker
Wait, which peg game are you thinking about? Cribbage.
Paul F. Tompkins
It sort of looks like a crib angle.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Glendon
And you're trying to.
Nicole Parker
I have no idea how it's.
Glendon
You're trying to jump pegs to eliminate all the pegs.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Glendon
And it tells you a chart of. If you get this many left. If you get. And the memory is me. Me registering. I got the ignoramus.
Nicole Parker
And that's a real thing. You're called the. That is what a real rude game.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, I mean, I don't know. How are you ignorant if you didn't win the peg game?
Nicole Parker
This seems very important because that is a sort of. If you're a child and you're playing that. That's very formal.
Paul F. Tompkins
And also, if you know what the word ignoramus is.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
You have to be of a certain age.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's a pretty big word for a little kid.
Nicole Parker
All right.
Glendon
A lot.
Nicole Parker
And see, I think you were where you called it a lot.
Glendon
I don't know. But in the memory I read. I understand it in a way that makes me think maybe I was familiar with that.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I think you definitely were.
Glendon
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
I'm not a licensed therapist, but I think you definitely were.
Glendon
I'd love to, you know, have another swing at that game. Oh.
Nicole Parker
Like maybe that's redemption of some sort.
Glendon
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you think that would unlock your memories if you played the Cracker Barrel triangle pegboard game?
Glendon
I. I would be willing to try. You know, you did My life. You did.
Nicole Parker
Playing it there. Oh, Maybe she was playing at a Cracker Barrel. Yeah, that's good.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, now, were you in your memory? Were you playing the game? You just see it and you see the rank. Ignoramus.
Glendon
I was ignoramus.
Paul F. Tompkins
You were ignoramus.
Glendon
I know the amount of pegs.
Nicole Parker
Qualifies you for.
Glendon
I look at the key to see the ranking. The news comes in. Memory over. As the feeling washes over me.
Nicole Parker
This is like a video game. Memory over.
Paul F. Tompkins
God, can you imagine? Like a card slides into your brain. Memory over.
Nicole Parker
Now, I'm gonna sidestep for a minute. Can we talk about Scottie Simpson? Was it. Was it Scottie Simpson? The one that Sandy. I'm sorry, Sandy?
Glendon
Yes, I think it's Sandy.
Nicole Parker
It's Sandy.
Glendon
Oh, the chief of police.
Nicole Parker
Can you talk to us about. Or is that a she?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, I don't know Sandy Simpson. Oh, he texted back and told me to call the chief of police.
Nicole Parker
Okay. I don't know Sandy Simpson.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know Sandy either.
Glendon
I don't know Sandy either. I think it's a lie.
Paul F. Tompkins
You think it's a lie?
Glendon
I think that this person, James, ultimately could be the chief of police. Whole runaround. So it seems like they got a call. I think he's been after me.
Nicole Parker
Tim?
Glendon
Yes. Oh, I think he. This was a excuse he needed. He sees me. Who again? I minded my own business for a long time. One time.
Nicole Parker
I have fun. Yes.
Glendon
And other reasons, probably.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, but you can't.
Nicole Parker
I was gonna ask what they were, but when she said probably, I thought maybe we don't have that list.
Glendon
It just seems right.
Paul F. Tompkins
I get that.
Glendon
Why? Why make a mess?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, absolutely.
Glendon
I have one fun day and guess who shows up. Yes. The howling Tim Tourniquet. A lot of fun.
Nicole Parker
So he shows up at your house. What happened?
Glendon
I answer the door. I have on a traditional outfit.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's interesting. She's including what she's wearing. Just traditional outfits. What does traditional mean to you? What does that mean?
Glendon
Well, it's an outfit that people sort of understand. So it's traditional. I wasn't taking any risks.
Nicole Parker
Like a dress. You mean. You mean any risks that day you woke up? Or was it because Tim knocked on your door, you threw something different on a wild morning. Pants on the legs.
Glendon
The pants were on the legs. It was a pair of pants.
Nicole Parker
Where they go, baby.
Glendon
Just totally traditional. Socks.
Nicole Parker
Totally traditional. Yep.
Glendon
Socks.
Paul F. Tompkins
And shoe.
Glendon
And shoe. I had on a shell.
Paul F. Tompkins
A shell?
Glendon
Sort of a shell.
Paul F. Tompkins
You're miming.
Nicole Parker
She's miming on her necklace. Like a Shell necklace. Like a puka situation.
Glendon
Just a pretty shell necklace.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
And a top. And a cardigan buttoned. One button.
Nicole Parker
Sweet. Just the top button.
Glendon
That's the one. I open the door.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
I say, well, to what do I owe the pleasure? Oh, that's something I've always wanted to say.
Paul F. Tompkins
And were you saying it? Were you saying it?
Nicole Parker
How did it feel? How did it feel?
Glendon
I was shaking. I was excited to say it again. This was the same day that I'd been howling.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, of course.
Glendon
Oh, okay. So I am on another level, energetically, than where I'm usually operating now.
Paul F. Tompkins
At this point, you have no suspicion that Tim Tourniquet is showing up for you? That you've done something wrong?
Nicole Parker
Oh, right. You don't know. He knows about the howling.
Glendon
I do have a suspicion because I just have such. I carry around such guilt. I don't know why.
Nicole Parker
Oh, we gotta get.
Glendon
But I always assume, oh, I did it. I killed him. I don't.
Nicole Parker
Wait, why would you lead with that?
Glendon
That was just an example.
Nicole Parker
Well, pretty specific.
Paul F. Tompkins
Biggest example.
Nicole Parker
It is the biggest example.
Paul F. Tompkins
I.
Nicole Parker
You.
Paul F. Tompkins
You could have gone with, I left the cabinet door open.
Nicole Parker
Yep. Yep.
Glendon
Yeah, I could.
Nicole Parker
I.
Glendon
You know, I could have left the cabinet. I. I said the house.
Nicole Parker
No, it's too nice. It's out there.
Glendon
I didn't mean to kidnap them. Things like that.
Paul F. Tompkins
You have flashes that could indicate what you might be guilty. Feeling guilty over.
Glendon
I can imagine all those things I listed, but I've seen, really.
Nicole Parker
Including desert storms. Why? Why do you feel guilty?
Paul F. Tompkins
You've seen a lot. Lot of films.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Glendon
So I don't know what's what, honestly.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you're saying some of your memories could actually be just moments from movies?
Glendon
That's right.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I see. You feel guilty. That is really tricky. That's tricky. I wonder how Desert Storm factors into that. Between the guilt and the film.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's a good question.
Glendon
The way I remember that is the. There were ribbons, right?
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure. Yeah. People were doing ribbons or entries.
Glendon
I loved the that. It's a happy memory, actually.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
No disrespect to the troops, I understand. Or the victims.
Nicole Parker
Oh, dear.
Glendon
I don't know. Well, history is so gray.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy.
Paul F. Tompkins
So true.
Glendon
I'd hate to take a side on this.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's very gray. Because everything we say, we have to think, eventually this will be history.
Nicole Parker
That's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
So let's not be too.
Nicole Parker
What you just said is now. Like, exactly just now.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you can't be too black and white about things.
Nicole Parker
You really can.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because you might be. Might. You might be wrong in 100 years.
Nicole Parker
That's true.
Glendon
And then people are gonna look back at you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Glendon
And now you're the bad guy. Oh, you did kill him.
Nicole Parker
You come back to this, killing someone. This is twice now. And it's hard not to. To. To, you know, dig a little deeper. But. But before we do, I just want to know what. Just finish what happened with Tim. So you said. What was your famous line? What do I owe the pleasure? Like a Betty Davis movie.
Glendon
Yeah. Oh, I wish.
Nicole Parker
I hear you.
Glendon
And he says, hello, I'm here on business.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Glendon
I'm immediately off kilter.
Nicole Parker
Sure. It's weird that he felt he had to qualify that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Very odd for a policeman to speak.
Nicole Parker
Very strange.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm here on pleasure.
Glendon
We've never been anywhere together on pleasure.
Nicole Parker
That's never on pleasure.
Glendon
It threw me off. I was already nervous because I had had this crazy morning. Of course I. I said, well, can I get you something? I regret that.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I. Sure.
Glendon
I was trying. I was a people pleaser in that moment, trying to get him something. And he said he just ate. You know what he smells like? Yeah. Smelled like that meat. And then.
Nicole Parker
Gross.
Glendon
It was upsetting the whole thing. And then he said, who have you been associating with? Glendon. Oh, that tone.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm using your first name like that.
Glendon
I'm a 57 year old woman. Okay. Who have I been associating with is a. Again? I'm off my game.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Glendon
And I said, well, I have friends all over this town.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And is that true?
Glendon
It's not true. And it escalated things in a way.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, wow.
Glendon
I got cuffed.
Nicole Parker
What?
Paul F. Tompkins
He took it as a challenge.
Glendon
Well, I pushed him when I said it.
Nicole Parker
And. Well, but it was a little.
Glendon
It was a. In my mind we were flirting or something.
Nicole Parker
But that wasn't the case.
Glendon
It wasn't the case.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
He said he got reports of some activity.
Nicole Parker
Huh. And I said, but you think he's making up those reports? Just making up people who.
Glendon
I think he just saw us.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, he just saw you.
Glendon
He saw us.
Paul F. Tompkins
And to cover his basis, he creates a dummy account on neighborhood.
Nicole Parker
That's right. Right. And then James.
Paul F. Tompkins
James. Then he makes up the dumb name.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Very, very.
Nicole Parker
It's a perfect cover.
Paul F. Tompkins
And then he makes up this Sandy person.
Glendon
Nobody. You don't know him.
Nicole Parker
I don't. We don't know him.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why can't James just say I called the police?
Nicole Parker
He.
Glendon
He has to take everybody blame it. It's weird. The whole Thing is weird. I've been dissecting that thing like you mentioned. No punctuation.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Nicole Parker
So did he put you in the car? Take you to the station? What happened?
Glendon
Well, but also, who says call the chief of police?
Nicole Parker
People don't say that.
Glendon
You're right, they call police.
Nicole Parker
That's a very.
Paul F. Tompkins
Chief of police.
Glendon
Too specific.
Paul F. Tompkins
I saw women howling. Call the chief of police.
Glendon
Call the chief of police. Because I was. I calmed down pretty quick once he had the cuffs on me.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you calmed down when you had the cuffs on you?
Glendon
It sedated me.
Nicole Parker
It was sedated. I think that's worth noting. I think it's worth something There.
Paul F. Tompkins
Flash of memory. The comfort of handcuffs.
Glendon
I feel comfortable.
Nicole Parker
Handcuffs and the guilt of a quiet storm. I'm trying to figure out again, it's.
Glendon
Just to text your memory. I feel metal.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
I can't move around much.
Nicole Parker
She's struggling a little in her chair. In real time.
Glendon
I'm reliving what I do.
Nicole Parker
She's reliving it.
Paul F. Tompkins
She's deeking. She's deking and juking.
Nicole Parker
Yes, juking. I don't know, but juking. I'm familiar.
Glendon
I've never heard of her.
Doug
Never heard deeking.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why am I. I was honored and.
Glendon
Thought I could deke. Gotta save that.
Nicole Parker
That's fair. Cuz Glendon doesn't know if deeking is real or not. She doesn't have these memories.
Glendon
Certainly don't. And I've never been involved in dance, believe it or not.
Nicole Parker
Oh well, yes, it did look like a dance move. So when you have the cuffs on, you're feeling comfort, Am I correct?
Glendon
I'm feeling you calmed down. Calm different than comfort.
Nicole Parker
Oh yeah, I guess so.
Glendon
I am not activated. But I'm also. I'm not happy. Sure. You know who would be. And he says, tell me about this morning and who you were with. And I said I was with some friends and I was releasing some stuff.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
And he said, go on.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Glendon
I remember this conversation clear as day.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, really? It sounds like you do. Absolutely.
Glendon
Because of the work me and the women have been doing. It's opening up the pathways. So anyway, one thing comes to another these old way and I'm mad at him, of course. He's saying these old women. He said old women in the group. There are a few of sort of my peers and then there's people on both sides.
Paul F. Tompkins
Your age cohort.
Glendon
That's right. Deborah and I are pretty. Even Steven. But a few of the other gals.
Nicole Parker
Some in their 30s, some in their 20s and some. And he called them old.
Glendon
Much older.
Nicole Parker
And some much older. Oh, wow. Okay.
Glendon
There's some young women.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's important to keep in mind that Tim tourniquet himself is 26 years old.
Glendon
That is a good lens with which to see this because.
Paul F. Tompkins
And he became the chief of police because we have a system. It's sort of hierarchical. So his father, the former chief of police, died and.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, like a movie. It is silly. There was a hallway way of just, you know, like, first there's a lithograph, then there's paintings, then there's photos, and they really do all look the same. And they have the same goatee.
Paul F. Tompkins
The same goatee? Yeah. Squinty eyeball.
Glendon
No, the. The one portrait where you. It was in that phase where everything was Those squinty eyes.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes, sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's a magic eye.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. There's one where it follows you. There's a squinty eye One. There's one where his eyes follow you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Where he looks like chief police and then he looks like a ghoul.
Glendon
That's what they need to get those courtroom artists on, is more stuff like that.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely.
Glendon
Pick a genre.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely. I agree. Pick a genre, indeed.
Glendon
Give us a topic and. And show us a world. You know, like the Green Room.
Nicole Parker
Like the Green Room.
Glendon
I loved my time in there.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I'm so glad to.
Glendon
Your man.
Nicole Parker
Well, here. He can hear you, babe. She's giving you a compliment. Isn't that nice?
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I hope it doesn't get to the point where it's like the movie Avatar, where a lot of people leave the green room and then they become despondent that they're no longer in that world.
Nicole Parker
Right. Because they just truly have time hopped or at least timeline hopped.
Paul F. Tompkins
Timeline hopped.
Glendon
It was a rich lore. Oh, good, good, good. I never saw a dog, though.
Nicole Parker
That's interesting, babe.
Doug
I let the. The talent have the room to themselves.
Nicole Parker
That's very nice. Very considerate.
Glendon
It felt cool.
Nicole Parker
Oh, good. That's how Green Room should be. It should feel cool.
Paul F. Tompkins
As cool as metal on your wrists, almost.
Glendon
Oh, but this got my heart racing instead of slowing down.
Nicole Parker
So then you say to him. Well, he says to you. Go on. And you just described more about the sort of the releasing and the ladies or. What did you say?
Glendon
I said, what did I do? That's illegal.
Nicole Parker
Good question.
Paul F. Tompkins
That is a terrific question.
Nicole Parker
Really good question, because not. I mean, she did push him. What's real. But the reason he showed up at.
Glendon
Her door was when I was on my property. I still don't understand those rules.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Glendon
I guess if I can't do that.
Paul F. Tompkins
That I, I. I feel like the. The. The idea that someone would show up at your home after this howling incident, which is. There is nothing illegal about howling.
Glendon
Well, it turns out the illegal part was the nudity.
Paul F. Tompkins
There we go.
Nicole Parker
You did not mention that. And strangely, neither did James, which is.
Glendon
Again, I think it's our guy covering his track. Absolutely. Because he's going to be seeing, like, a pervert.
Nicole Parker
So you. You were all unclothed.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why wouldn't he?
Glendon
I don't know. I haven't figured it all out. I'm just telling you what I've tried.
Paul F. Tompkins
You're right.
Glendon
Together.
Paul F. Tompkins
You. You were right to just cut me off at the past. Why would I ask?
Glendon
It's rude. It feels.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I'm sorry. I do.
Glendon
No, it's okay. It's okay. Go on. I'm sorry.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't remember what I was gonna say.
Glendon
I think.
Nicole Parker
Why didn't he mention. Now I'm wondering. Because the nude howling.
Paul F. Tompkins
He could have. In order to avoid looking like a pervert, he leaves out the nudity. But I feel like he could have worked a little harder on his fake Persona.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
To structure in a way. He could say, like. And my kids were seeing this.
Nicole Parker
Right, Right.
Glendon
That would have been a good move.
Nicole Parker
Because we agreed. Just thinking. So you came home from the nude howling. Then you did put clothes on, and.
Glendon
We had our clothes nearby.
Nicole Parker
Underby.
Paul F. Tompkins
Under a log.
Glendon
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Just one of the street logs.
Glendon
You probably know the log.
Paul F. Tompkins
I know the logs on Garfield.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. We really can't get anyone.
Paul F. Tompkins
Was it the wishing log?
Glendon
It was the wishing log.
Nicole Parker
We can't get anyone to clean up Garfield, so we just. People decided to give meaning to some of this stuff that's lying around, and one of them became the wishing log.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Kids crawl through the log. They make the wish in the log, and then if they're able to get out the other side, the wish will come true.
Nicole Parker
True.
Glendon
A lot of them are wishing to get out.
Nicole Parker
That is one of the major reasons paramedics are called. Because a kid gets stuck in the log.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. They never just back out.
Nicole Parker
Well, they don't back out because they want. They know their wish isn't going to come true, so they have to. Literally, it's like a negotiation.
Glendon
The spines in the log. If you back up, though, it's like the things where. If you back up on the tires.
Paul F. Tompkins
The treadles.
Glendon
Yeah. What are they called?
Paul F. Tompkins
Treadles.
Glendon
That's A nice name.
Nicole Parker
And I live in fear that just somehow how something's going to happen in the middle of going over it that wants me to go backwards. I'm glad I don't feel alone.
Paul F. Tompkins
Nothing more terrifying.
Glendon
Every time is the last time.
Nicole Parker
100.
Paul F. Tompkins
100. You know, used to the sign used to say do not back up. Treadles cause severe tire damage.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And then they. I guess they People were asking too much. What are treadles?
Glendon
Well, it sounds so cute.
Paul F. Tompkins
It does sound. It does sound cute.
Nicole Parker
I know. People were too curious actually.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Are they?
Nicole Parker
Are we going to release the treadle?
Glendon
Don't get a treadle wet. That's the Gremlins movie I saw.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right? Another memory.
Nicole Parker
That's another memory. Wait.
Paul F. Tompkins
Which was a Gremlins one or two?
Glendon
What's the difference?
Nicole Parker
That might be too much to ask.
Paul F. Tompkins
The. The one. The one has gremlins. Only one has a personality number two. All these gremlins.
Nicole Parker
All of them do. Oh, got it.
Paul F. Tompkins
One's a lady.
Glendon
That's the one I saw with a beautiful woman. 1.
Nicole Parker
So that's the first one.
Paul F. Tompkins
Beautiful.
Nicole Parker
Wasn't that Spike dressed in draft?
Paul F. Tompkins
No, that was the second one.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Glendon
Okay.
Nicole Parker
That was so that was the second one.
Paul F. Tompkins
Much so.
Nicole Parker
Gremlins 2. Desert Storm. Ignoramus. Cracker Barrel or wallet. And the cooling calming of handcuffs.
Glendon
And a tropical storm.
Paul F. Tompkins
And a tropical quiet storm.
Nicole Parker
Quiet storm.
Glendon
Yes, I know. Sound to any of the guilt.
Nicole Parker
I, I, I'm gonna circle back really quick because I know you asked a question. Yes. They bring out a log negotiator to get the kids to go out out. Because he really has to sit and talk to them. Because they don't. They know if they back out, their wish will not come true.
Paul F. Tompkins
But the other end of the log. It's too small.
Nicole Parker
It is.
Paul F. Tompkins
The aperture is too small for kids to get.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. It seems like it's a real dirty trick. I mean, it was. It's nature's trick. But it didn't know it was going to be turned into a wishing log. For crying out loud. It should have been cleared years ago.
Paul F. Tompkins
And it always ends the same way. With a log negotiator upending a log and shaking the kid out of the clock.
Glendon
So sad.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's so sad.
Glendon
That's why me and the gals, we just put our clothes under it. We didn't sew in the log at all. We didn't mess with even though it's hollow. Didn't mess with putting it in because we've seen.
Nicole Parker
So how did we keep following this narrative of you and Tim. How did. Once you talked a bit, we just. Well, because I want to stay on it. Because I want to know how it ended.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Glendon
Oh, well, I wouldn't give up the names.
Paul F. Tompkins
Good for you, Tim just get stitches.
Glendon
I told him about death row.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's also true.
Glendon
Yeah. Because that's the only name I knew. But the other gals, I don't even know them their names.
Paul F. Tompkins
But had you met them before? I can't remember.
Glendon
We had one other instance of a sort of a woods happening. This was at night.
Nicole Parker
Interesting. She described it as an incident, you know, because that usually one of their incident again together.
Glendon
I guess.
Nicole Parker
Sure. But did something happen?
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, it just. I think the horse left the barn. You did call it an incident.
Nicole Parker
It makes me want to know what. What that was.
Glendon
Well, Deborah's the big connector here.
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure.
Glendon
So I think all of us probably have met Deborah and you know, I told her how I. I told you how I met her. She bought the bingo. She. She's just one of those.
Nicole Parker
I see. All of us have met Deborah without really realizing.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Is she the one that dresses up as Ben Franklin?
Glendon
Oh, is that what it is?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Glendon
I never.
Nicole Parker
Oh, right. Because you just.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Glendon
I didn't know what that was.
Paul F. Tompkins
So a big triangular hat.
Glendon
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Little glasses, long white hair.
Glendon
Curly.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know about curly.
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean it has body. Yeah. There.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think of Ben Franklin's hair is very light.
Doug
Doesn't he have a skullet?
Nicole Parker
Sorry?
Paul F. Tompkins
He does have a skullet, but he wears the hat.
Doug
True.
Glendon
A scarlet meaning bald with long hair.
Nicole Parker
Ah, right, right. That's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
But I don't know. I'm curious if Deborah does the bald cap under the hat. Under the tricorner hat.
Nicole Parker
I wonder. I wonder. I don't never.
Glendon
She is bald.
Nicole Parker
Oh, so that answers the question. Okay, the costume makes sense then.
Glendon
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
So what was. So the other incident was we.
Glendon
Deb said, hey, Glendon, meet me in the woods tonight.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Glendon
Just nobody asked me to do much stuff. Right. So I said I'll see. But I knew I was going to do it.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, you knew?
Glendon
I always knew. She said 11:30 and she said down by the creek. Not creek, but creek.
Nicole Parker
Definitely.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
There is a difference. Difference?
Glendon
I. I pretended I knew. What? That I had to ask around. I went to the library.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, you didn't know the word crick.
Glendon
I didn't know we had one either.
Nicole Parker
Well, you know, Dingley Falls has lost all its water, so anything that was Once something like a creek or a river is not. Is no longer.
Glendon
And the crick bed is narrow.
Nicole Parker
That's how you know it sure is. That's one of the defining features I think of a crick, but ours is really. It's also just the sound that it makes when you step on it because there is no water. It's just dead frog carcasses.
Paul F. Tompkins
Somebody got to clear those away.
Glendon
But who's going to do it?
Nicole Parker
It's like when you step on them, they emit finally their last croak.
Paul F. Tompkins
I feel. I feel as if they. Why do they keep going back there? Is it a sort of like elephants graveyard for frogs? That's where they all go.
Glendon
And why are they still sort of puffed up?
Nicole Parker
It's weird. It's like they die, like. Yeah, that's just it. That's why you're releasing that last bit.
Paul F. Tompkins
Of ale and then it'll just tip over. Like in a movie. They don't realize someone's dead. Sitting in a chair and they shake the shoulder and then the person steps over and they see the knife in the back.
Nicole Parker
I know exactly what you're talking about. Of course. Oh. Oh, I didn't notice. Half of their face was gone.
Glendon
Horrible realization.
Paul F. Tompkins
When you say people don't ask you to do stuff a lot.
Glendon
A lot, yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
What is your day to day?
Nicole Parker
That's a great question, Burns.
Glendon
I do do the paper like you guys start out. Do the whole paper, front to back.
Nicole Parker
The whole paper. You gotta do the whole paper.
Glendon
Do the whole thing. Even if it's a bit of an eye roller. I'm doing the whole thing.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
And you know the articles I'm talking about, you know who wrote them?
Nicole Parker
Mitch McNutt for one. That's our town critic. Of course. For any. Anyone who's forgotten. Town critic.
Glendon
To be a critic, you should have taste.
Nicole Parker
Thank you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Couldn't agree more. Glendon.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wow.
Glendon
Sorry. I think you're coming out of my shell today.
Paul F. Tompkins
I seem like you are.
Glendon
I never told anybody how I felt about Mitch.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you. You found the right podcast for that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Cop shoving woman coming out of her shell.
Nicole Parker
Did Tim leave you alone or did he actually take you into custody?
Glendon
Okay, so he took me in. Okay, well, it was an off site prison.
Nicole Parker
What? Oh, dear.
Glendon
Black site. It was. I don't know what was going on.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did they put a bag over your head?
Nicole Parker
Oh, no.
Paul F. Tompkins
To transport you.
Glendon
They just told me to close my eyes and I did.
Nicole Parker
See you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Honor system.
Glendon
It was a little room I end up in. Asking me Lots of questions. He's really trying to get to the bottom of these women. Especially when of the younger women.
Nicole Parker
Oh, now this gross.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now I understand this.
Glendon
I keep saying I don't know. I only met these gals one other time and it was dark and it. Because of the incident, we weren't getting to know each other as much as we were trying to cover something up.
Nicole Parker
Oh, what happened? What were you trying to cover up?
Glendon
Well, the first. The crick thing. Sure. I find out I. I go to the crick, I'm there an hour early. It's embarrassing. So I hide behind a tree. I just wasn't. What if it's the wrong spot? What if I'm going to be again? I don't go many places. I don't want to upset debt. Cool to be asked to do something at night.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Glendon
Worried I'd fall asleep if I was at home?
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Glendon
No, I won't.
Paul F. Tompkins
Where do you fall asleep if you were at home?
Glendon
What do you mean?
Nicole Parker
She's 57. You know, maybe you get tired. Maybe you have an earlier bedtime. I don't know.
Glendon
I'm usually in bed. 8:30.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. Oh, you're worried you fall asleep.
Glendon
Because if I'm at home, I'm going to be in my rhythm, so I'm going to be. I have a very particular way I do things. So if I'm at home at 8:30, I'm asleep. Okay. And I've taken all the steps to get there, if you know what I mean.
Nicole Parker
So, I mean, we don't. But I. I mean, I know what my steps are to get there, but why do I feel like yours are very different?
Glendon
Well, I don't know what. Yours are minor. There's liquid based. Oh, there's a ritual, a breathing thing.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
A texture thing.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
And that's the last step.
Nicole Parker
All right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
You don't handcuff yourself before going to sleep, do you?
Glendon
What?
Nicole Parker
You don't handcuff yourself before going to sleep, do you?
Glendon
That's a great idea. Actually, I don't. I haven't, but I love that.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
Then you'd know where you are, which is a worry.
Nicole Parker
I guess that's one way to look at it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can I ask you this? And this is going to sound strange and like out of left field. Have you ever been bitten by a wolf?
Nicole Parker
Oh my gosh, Burton. I was just going to ask the same thing.
Paul F. Tompkins
I feel like I was just going back.
Nicole Parker
Feel like you started talking and I went werewolf.
Paul F. Tompkins
We're leading up to something.
Nicole Parker
This is why the memories come in a flash because, you know, she's flipping between wolf and human, wolf and human. And the guilt is from prowling. Wait, what am I doing?
Glendon
What am I doing?
Paul F. Tompkins
This is our suspicion, okay? And suspicion. We don't mean that in a pejorative voice way, okay?
Glendon
Pejorative is a kind of jam.
Paul F. Tompkins
It really should be.
Nicole Parker
Actually, it really should.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sounds like a great jam, Scripter. This is pejorative. I don't mean it in a negative way, okay?
Glendon
It's.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's value neutral. Suspicion.
Nicole Parker
Value neutral.
Paul F. Tompkins
This is just something we're. We're trying to figure out.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, it's just another question because you.
Paul F. Tompkins
You have this dissociative history. You just have flashes of memories. There's something that's calming to you about being handcuffed and you're afraid of your nighttime routine.
Nicole Parker
Yes. And people being naked and howling. And you say there was no moon, but howling is. Howling is howling.
Glendon
Well, we were in female form at the moon thing. I know. The howling thing for certain. I know because Tim saw it all.
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Glendon
So I know I was not in wolf form at the time, but the.
Paul F. Tompkins
Moon may not have been full.
Glendon
The moon wasn't even there.
Paul F. Tompkins
It wasn't there. What time of day was this?
Glendon
It was about 7:30am Remember?
Nicole Parker
Because she said it happened the same day, so that actually does make sense. I do believe that they were all just standing out there naked in the daytime and nothing happened.
Glendon
We weren't standing. We were hustling.
Nicole Parker
What does that mean?
Glendon
We wanted to do the whole cul de sac back.
Nicole Parker
You were dancing the hustle.
Glendon
We were deing.
Nicole Parker
It is a traveling dance, by the way.
Paul F. Tompkins
I found out what deking means.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you did?
Paul F. Tompkins
The reason we didn't know it is because it's a hockey term.
Nicole Parker
You know what's crazy? I was gonna suggest it as a hockey term. Yes. And I just thought, oh, well, I don't want to be ignorant. An ignoramus.
Glendon
Nobody wants to be an ignoramus.
Nicole Parker
Fits into this. To the wolf of it all, Lycanthrop puppy Doug. He's been waiting to say that for the last five minutes. I guarantee you he's been waiting for a window.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think it better be pronounced.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I'm sorry. Do that again, babe.
Paul F. Tompkins
New barn.
Nicole Parker
Yep, new barn for sure. What did you say?
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I don't think I said anything.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I thought you were starting to say something.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, now. So the cracker Barrel thing. Oh, so the memories. Maybe this happened when you were very young also. Maybe you were howling at 7am because you had been a wolf the night before.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And that's why you had no clothes on.
Nicole Parker
Maybe she was hired as a secret government weapon during the desert storm.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's also a great thank you.
Glendon
I love these possibilities. I honestly hadn't gone any of these places. I thought, you know, like a bad home situation. I. I killed my dad and my brother and. Oh, wait, no, that's not. No, that is not.
Nicole Parker
Well. But that would make a lot of sense.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are your dad and your brother still with us?
Glendon
I don't know. I don't know that I had them.
Nicole Parker
Know anything.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I see. It's very specific to say dad and brother.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
But I know if you have them.
Nicole Parker
That's right.
Glendon
Anyway, I. Answering questions and I can't tell him who the young one was because I don't know her name. I understand the interest because like what you said, sort of value neutral. What I'm gonna say this young one had a beautiful body.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
I don't. I don't think bodies matter, but I.
Nicole Parker
That's an interesting thing to say. It's a very interesting thing to say.
Glendon
You know, who can help it to have a body, right?
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Who can help it?
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Glendon
Here we are.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Indeed.
Glendon
So I. But I could see the reason for interest in this gal.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right?
Glendon
And so I tell him, I say, I think you're just trying to go on a date with this gal. He gets real offended. And then he said, somebody posted my bail and he let me go.
Nicole Parker
Wow. What. What?
Paul F. Tompkins
Were you charged?
Nicole Parker
So.
Glendon
And assaulting an officer.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The chief. Yeah. Okay. And Bert, did you have a question?
Glendon
I just wanted to clear my name.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, sure. Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
I think we're all just past the whole werewolf. Well, that's what's weird. I think we all just. It's the 100 pound werewolf in the room. Yeah. And I. It's weird that we're not following up on this.
Glendon
And I. I got bit by a dog.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Glendon
But I don't think it was a wolf.
Nicole Parker
Right, well.
Paul F. Tompkins
And would you. Would you know the difference?
Nicole Parker
Can you tell me when you wake up sometimes handcuffed to the bed?
Glendon
Oh, I'm not. No, I haven't handcuffed myself.
Nicole Parker
You haven't? No.
Glendon
You.
Paul F. Tompkins
You wish that you had.
Glendon
You pitched it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Glendon
And I said, great idea.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's a great idea. Yeah.
Nicole Parker
I see. Okay.
Glendon
But I wake up. Not in my bed.
Nicole Parker
You don't wake up in your bed.
Glendon
Where do you wake up often? Oh, near the wishing log. A Lot.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. This is. I mean, this really?
Glendon
Yeah. And then sometimes just random businesses.
Nicole Parker
Random businesses. And do you.
Glendon
I woke up outside of your pharmacy.
Paul F. Tompkins
Have you really?
Nicole Parker
Does it look like there have been. There's been a struggle when you wake up wherever you are in these businesses? Broken glass, blood. What does your body look like? Do you have scrapes?
Paul F. Tompkins
My torn shirt and just pants that are somehow frayed at the pants are.
Glendon
Always afraid and at a kind of like a high water cut short.
Nicole Parker
Short.
Glendon
That's not what I buy. I like a modest jean, first of all.
Nicole Parker
You want something that fits. Yes.
Glendon
And usually a slash on the top.
Nicole Parker
There's usually a slash on your body.
Glendon
Oh, just on the top.
Nicole Parker
Oh, just.
Glendon
I'm fine underneath. But the top is slash.
Nicole Parker
Interesting. Okay. All right.
Glendon
I don't know. I know. I never knew what that was about. That's one I told you. I keep to myself.
Paul F. Tompkins
Of course.
Glendon
I don't want to be, you know, know, knowing stuff.
Nicole Parker
You know, the only thing I'm having a hard time.
Paul F. Tompkins
Stop.
Nicole Parker
The only thing I'm having a hard time threading through is the wallet.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wait, did she. Did you solve Cracker?
Nicole Parker
It was one of her memories. What did I want?
Paul F. Tompkins
You solved Cracker Barrel.
Glendon
And what was the tropical storm?
Nicole Parker
Well, here's what I'm thinking.
Paul F. Tompkins
The only thing left for you. There's a lot of loose threads, but.
Nicole Parker
I'm thinking this is. This is. And I guess I didn't share this with the group, but in my head what I thought was, oh, I think Cracker Barrel is the place of. The origin of. In terms of when the brother and the dad died. I do think the game was being played there. I think that for the last time, ignoring mishappened. And I don't know how to work out that it was a full moon that night. But that is what I think, that she transformed. Thank you. I think that that makes it a lot easier. Easier. I think that she transformed. I think there was a massive accident at a Cracker Barrel. And if you probably googled it, you'd find that, you know, someone just said there was a wild animal or something.
Paul F. Tompkins
Here's what I think.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think the site of the first transformation was Cracker Barrel.
Nicole Parker
I agreed. Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think it happened after the playing of the peg game where Glendon was deemed an ignoramus. Just said I'm expecting.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think chaos ensued. I think the dad, in his last act on this earth, cut out his wallet to pay for the damages.
Glendon
Oh.
Nicole Parker
Wow. Which is extraordinary because if we're in the past, like the 80s and the 70s, whatever he had in his wall would never cover the damages.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, but he's.
Nicole Parker
He's just been attacked by a werewolf.
Glendon
It was more of a gesture.
Nicole Parker
A real lovely J. And. And more so why Glendon has feelings of guilt. Oh gosh, yes.
Glendon
Well, I heard about your T shirt goosebumps. I'm getting those T shirt goosebumps.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no, I worry about. I mean, when she starts looking at her body and getting goosebumps, it makes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Me worry a little.
Nicole Parker
That was what happened in my stomach.
Glendon
I don't. Am I a werewolf?
Nicole Parker
Well, I think you might be.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you find yourself in the morning with a group of ladies, you might be a werewolf.
Glendon
The other gals aren't wolves, though.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I think they definitely are.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think you're a pack.
Nicole Parker
I don't think that just randomly.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow. I think that's also the difference in ages. I think you're a pack.
Nicole Parker
And also, don't you remember when you think she held your hand, you were imprinting on each other at that moment. You were absolutely having a moment. Oh, Twilight is real.
Glendon
He's real.
Nicole Parker
Wow, Glendon.
Glendon
I don't know.
Nicole Parker
I feel like I werewolf on the podcast before. You probably will probably not hear it cuz they're dead.
Glendon
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, it might explain all the missing persons files in Dignity Falls.
Nicole Parker
We have so many.
Paul F. Tompkins
Some per cap.
Glendon
We don't need to look into that though.
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean, if everyone's at peace for the families. I mean, this is quite a. What was that? Oh no, see also the sounds. The sounds make me concerned as well. Like a little bit or some insert turning into a werewolf and regretful about stirring.
Glendon
Yeah. I don't know much about this culture I'm part of. I got. I got most of my information just now.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Nicole Parker
This is a lot, Glennon, to be fair. This is a lot. And it's happening in real time in front of strangers and I'm so sorry for that.
Glendon
Oh, it's okay.
Nicole Parker
Well, she's a very pleasant werewolf, I gotta say. Really kind.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Glendon
I mean, in one world. This is a big relief for you. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
To understand some things.
Glendon
To understand some things, to draw some new lines and. And you know, that's interesting information.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Glendon
And there's also a lot of, you know, pain. I'm understanding I. Oh dear. Have and may have caused.
Nicole Parker
And if I'm correct, my husband has something to say about all this. I mean, babe, we have a werewolf.
Paul F. Tompkins
Shockingly silent.
Nicole Parker
I mean, what do you Think.
Doug
I guess that explains what I'm seeing in the green room.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no.
Paul F. Tompkins
What are you seeing in the room?
Nicole Parker
What are you seeing?
Glendon
That was a dick move, dog. I have five minutes to myself before the show. I was nervous. I know I was in human form.
Paul F. Tompkins
Doug. What? What? Delicately.
Doug
Wet spot in the corner.
Paul F. Tompkins
A wet spot in the corner.
Glendon
I don't know. I probably spilled tea.
Nicole Parker
Or does maybe she, you know, lift her leg even.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you think that's what Doug is implying.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, I think that's what he's implied.
Doug
I said.
Glendon
Oh, so I'm also a man wolf.
Nicole Parker
That would be the worst.
Glendon
Worst.
Nicole Parker
She squatted. That is true. That's a good point.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's true. Because.
Nicole Parker
Because lady. Lady dogs, basically, they never lift their.
Paul F. Tompkins
But also werewolves, I think, are on two legs.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Glendon
Oh.
Nicole Parker
Well, we. That's a question for Glendon.
Doug
In the were form, only when they're.
Glendon
In the form are they ever in.
Nicole Parker
Only when they're in the were form. Only when they're. They're in the where.
Paul F. Tompkins
Only when they're in the.
Nicole Parker
Only when they're in the war. That's a good one. That's a good one.
Glendon
I don't know how you guys just did that. Your lips were moving so fast.
Paul F. Tompkins
But you're asking, are they ever wolves? Just wolves.
Glendon
I don't know much about any of this, as it turns out.
Nicole Parker
It looks like you've got some research to do, Glendon. I, I, I, I feel bad that we're not sending you out with resources.
Paul F. Tompkins
She's like, yeah, yeah, she's the alpha.
Glendon
The first incident, we just were women hunting. Well, so I got a lot of questions for the gals. We came. Deb provided the weapons. It was sort of a grab bag. I got lasso.
Nicole Parker
What is this clue?
Paul F. Tompkins
That's like getting the net in the coliseum.
Glendon
It was a bummer. I tried to play it off because again, nobody asked me to do much, so I said yes and then just tried.
Paul F. Tompkins
What would have been your dream weapon?
Glendon
Well, one of the gals got a crossbow.
Paul F. Tompkins
Fun.
Glendon
That one looked good.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
For sure.
Glendon
You don't even have to know where it. Just the sending it off is the empowering part. And with the lasso, it's harder than it looks. You know what a lasso is?
Nicole Parker
Yeah, well, of course. Course.
Glendon
Yeah. You know how in the pictures they go up and they make a flat.
Nicole Parker
Circle in the pictures? You mean like in the movies or like in just pictures?
Glendon
Illustrations.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I was gonna say in the picture. Sounds older than 57.
Nicole Parker
Sure does.
Glendon
Well, I have not seen many movies about him, but I've seen a lot of illustrated cowboy books.
Doug
I know what you mean. The kind of hover above the head.
Glendon
That's right. And it's a black circle.
Doug
Oh, you guys seem like.
Glendon
It's like if you're walking a dog.
Doug
I'm pretty sure you didn't get it.
Nicole Parker
You don't have to lasso. Explain to us, babe.
Paul F. Tompkins
I guess I wasn't thinking of all the pictures.
Nicole Parker
In all them cowboy books.
Glendon
Well, I didn't. I didn't have a natural touch for it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right, Right.
Nicole Parker
You know, that's too bad.
Glendon
Yeah, it's too bad.
Paul F. Tompkins
Were you able to lasso anything?
Glendon
I was able to swat some things with a rope. That's right. Okay. No kills.
Paul F. Tompkins
What were you hunting for, if I may ask? Ask.
Glendon
Deb said it didn't matter.
Nicole Parker
Oh, anything living. Chilling. Yeah. You know, really scary.
Glendon
It was so fun.
Nicole Parker
Oh, see, there. There's a.
Glendon
The gals. We did again. Deb's the connector here.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, sure.
Glendon
Most of us, we've never seen it.
Nicole Parker
I think you keep saying deb's the connector in a way that makes you. Somehow it absolves you of all the kids. And I'm gonna let you know it does.
Glendon
For sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
You can't just say, deb's in charge.
Nicole Parker
This is where.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you were just.
Nicole Parker
My husband should be saying, overruled.
Glendon
But.
Nicole Parker
But. But he's missed his cue. But I'm sorry that we.
Paul F. Tompkins
He's in that green room.
Nicole Parker
Green room of mine.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Doug
Yeah.
Glendon
It's another world in there, man.
Nicole Parker
It literally. I. I hate sending you off with less resources, but. And we usually say we wish you well.
Glendon
Well, I got that word. Lycanthropy.
Nicole Parker
That's right. Look that up.
Glendon
Yeah, that's something new. The handcuff idea.
Nicole Parker
Start slow. Handcuff idea. Good. Killing humans. Bad. Bad.
Glendon
I wouldn't know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Have you ever gone to a therapist?
Glendon
Nope.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because you might. Could do.
Doug
You might. Could.
Paul F. Tompkins
That stopped me in my tracks.
Nicole Parker
It sure did.
Paul F. Tompkins
This isn't To Kill a Mockingbird. You might could go to a hypnotherapist.
Glendon
Oh.
Paul F. Tompkins
Someone who can. Who can probe your memories more deeply because it sounds like you. You're. You're hiding a lot of things from.
Nicole Parker
Yourself, by the way. I think that we can justify it by a mic. Could is what you call a movie where, you know, the romantic couple could meet up, but they didn't. It's a mic good.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's classic Hollywood.
Nicole Parker
Classic might good.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Glendon
Wow.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
I really I really look into that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Great. Great.
Nicole Parker
And I feel like we're helping. Yeah, I really do. I mean, we do wish you well and the best of luck. And also the best of luck to us all. And everybody may be on a full moon. Moon. Just keep an eye out.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Like our last guests.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know what the rules are. I don't know if you. If you can find. Hunt down the wolf that bit you and then kill it. And then maybe you will be.
Nicole Parker
Maybe that from the curse. Yeah. I don't know how it works. I don't know the. The legend.
Glendon
I got bit at a Cracker Barrel. You're saying.
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean we're just positing, but. But I would also start there. I would maybe look into.
Paul F. Tompkins
Look into Google.
Nicole Parker
Cracker Barrel dog. Cracker Barrel deaths.
Paul F. Tompkins
Go to the library. Check out that microfiche.
Glendon
I love going fishing.
Paul F. Tompkins
Gotta fish. Gone fishing. And then look for something like Cracker Barrel Massacre.
Glendon
Oh.
Paul F. Tompkins
See if you can find something like that.
Nicole Parker
That's the word.
Glendon
A little girl could be in the picture. And that could be me.
Paul F. Tompkins
That could be you.
Nicole Parker
Could be you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Exactly.
Glendon
Oh, I didn't. If I was in the paper, that would be the silver lining to this whole mess.
Paul F. Tompkins
Even it was for turning into a wolf and massacring an entire Cracker Barrel.
Glendon
I don't love the content, but I do the paper every day. Right. Of it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, that's right.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Glendon
Did you do today's?
Nicole Parker
I did not yet.
Paul F. Tompkins
Tough one.
Glendon
Yeah.
Doug
Jumble.
Nicole Parker
The jumble.
Glendon
It's like it's Sunday one, but it's on a Tuesday. Oh, it's that hard.
Nicole Parker
That's a Duffy.
Glendon
Save some time for that one.
Nicole Parker
Well, thanks, Glendon. And thanks for so hard. I don't know. Thanks for sharing your story and yes, thank you, Glend. Please take care of yourself and others.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Glendon
This went differently than I thought. Thank you.
Nicole Parker
Same.
Paul F. Tompkins
We'll be back when the neighbor listen returns with us. Hello, It's Peaches. Fasting. My son does a fasting about every month for seven days. Says his vision is better and can feel his body healing. Pain is gone. Scolios goes to show you what we eat. Carbs.
Nicole Parker
Gluten.
Paul F. Tompkins
Preservatives keep our body inflamed. So I guess if we stick to organic veggies, poetry, fish, our bodies will stay healthy. Check with your doctors first. Maybe try a three day fasting. This is Peaches. The oracle of dignity falls. My son is healthy. Scolios. And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. Well, that was.
Nicole Parker
Wow.
Glendon
Wow. Wow.
Nicole Parker
Wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow. A little scary.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, it really was. I got a little freaked out.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you think we're. I mean, I'm not saying 100 werewolves are. Are real. I know, but she could think that she's a werewolf and block it out during her.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sort of more sane moments.
Nicole Parker
Also, I will say I. I never believed in werewolves. And I think pros. I. I just don't think they. There's a way they exist, you know, globally. But, boy, it would be so. Dignity falls. I. I'm getting my. My point. It would be so very. Dignity falls. Oh, it would be so very.
Doug
Let me finish.
Nicole Parker
What I mean is it would just be so very Dignity falls of us to have a werewolf. It really is classic Dignity. Dignity falls.
Paul F. Tompkins
You're right. You're right.
Doug
There's a lot of stories.
Paul F. Tompkins
A lot of stories.
Nicole Parker
There's so many stories.
Paul F. Tompkins
A lot of stories in this crazy neighborhood.
Nicole Parker
I mean, you know, we've already had, you know, people think they saw Bigfoot here several times. We've had people on. I mean. Yes. Does it turn out they're just running a goofy marathon? Yes.
Doug
But a lot of hybrid creature spottings. Jackalopes.
Paul F. Tompkins
The thing about the werewolf is that where does. So the werewolf gets big, right? Person turns into wolf. Get big.
Nicole Parker
Get big.
Paul F. Tompkins
Where does the bigness go? How does it shrink back down to being a person?
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean, I don't know. It's like, if you're already talking about something so otherworldly, then why does that logic have to be applied to it? I guess.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, that's the thing. And really what it always brings me back to do is a werewolf is just a murderer who thinks he's a wolf. Or she, in this case.
Nicole Parker
You think that it's. It you call on people who are werewolves? I don't know. I don't have any memory.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think there's any transformation happening.
Nicole Parker
I think it's just them.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think a switch flicks in their brain and they say, I'm a wolf now.
Nicole Parker
Well, I. Hopefully we'll never know. Is there late stage werewolvery? Late age.
Paul F. Tompkins
Like you could get bitten in there.
Nicole Parker
Be on set later. Yeah. Can it happen at any time in life? What a story that would be. An old lady, a real older lady who has to just become a werewolf.
Paul F. Tompkins
Werewolf granny. It's like Little Red Riding Hood.
Nicole Parker
Werewolf granny. Eli Roth is writing that script somewhere.
Doug
We do have a lot of invasive species. She should just stick to those.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you mean attacking them?
Doug
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. We could get her Going on our flowers, you know that, that, that are carnivorous, odorous. That causes so much trouble during allergy season.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. She could just start eating those because they're pretty meaty.
Paul F. Tompkins
They're very meaty. It looks so delicious. They're so beautiful.
Nicole Parker
And they look so beautiful. They look so delicious.
Doug
Feed a family with one, probably.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, we have time for one more post. And this was submitted by a listener, one of our neighbors. J.T. grant three. Thank you. But submitted before many times.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right. This is in the general section. And this is posted by someone named Maria. Maria's headline is car banana. I live in Dignity Village Apartments. Marie goes on, and have now woken up twice in the past month to someone having smeared bananas all over my car. My windshield, windows and mirrors and handles all come. Could be a scornful X. But also starting to think it's a neighborhood property. Frank, has anyone else experienced something like this?
Doug
Could be a. What?
Nicole Parker
Is there a picture or. No, there's not a picture. Because I'm wondering, are we talking like full smashed banana on your. Or just a smear? I'm having a hard time picturing, like, you know what I mean?
Paul F. Tompkins
I think I know what you mean, but I think if they're gonna go to the.
Nicole Parker
You think a light banana film is on your windshield or it's just full smash banana.
Paul F. Tompkins
Tell it's a white. A light banana.
Nicole Parker
Because I picture. Fair question. I picture. I picture the banana there. Do you mean like they left the banana and then just. Yeah, this did this.
Paul F. Tompkins
This did this.
Nicole Parker
This did this.
Paul F. Tompkins
I am picturing banana chunks on all of these surfaces.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Like they, like one banana per area. Smush into the rear view mirror, smush onto the windshield.
Nicole Parker
Huge. What an annoying thing to do.
Paul F. Tompkins
Cash for the Cracker Barrel. And it's interesting that Maria says could be a scornful ex.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Or it could be an emerald prank.
Nicole Parker
I mean, how many scornful exes does she have?
Paul F. Tompkins
And also, what would lead you to that? Yes, Unless there's history of banana play in the relationship.
Doug
Sounds like she has someone in mind.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, you know, this was probably Jake.
Nicole Parker
I see.
Paul F. Tompkins
See, I know who did this.
Doug
Could be the grocery gang.
Paul F. Tompkins
Could be the grocery gang.
Nicole Parker
It could be. Yeah. But this doesn't. See, this feels really personal.
Doug
My first thought was that it would take a whole bunch of bananas. You can't just do that with one banana. What she described.
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I agree. I agree.
Doug
Unless it was just the film that.
Nicole Parker
Makes me think of the. What one.
Paul F. Tompkins
A light banana film.
Doug
Light banana Film an lbf.
Nicole Parker
That reminds me of the business we had, the failed business, A Bunch of Men Bananas, which really just did sell bananas and which was crazy because it was like, I can go get those at the grocery store. How is this business operating? It's just bananas. And you know what? They didn't do banana cream pie. They didn't do banana smoothies.
Paul F. Tompkins
Just bananas.
Nicole Parker
Just bananas.
Paul F. Tompkins
And those bananas. Boy, oh, boy, you could. When you went in there, you could tell, oh, somebody should have bought these bananas years ago.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, they were. They were, you know, some sometimes. And they didn't even do a good job of keeping them. Sometimes they were all Brian. And then they would just say, I should make banana bread, which no one ever does.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
They might as well name the store Pre Banana Bread.
Nicole Parker
Pre Banana Bread would have been Banana Bread Fixings. And I want everyone to know that when Burnt is doing these titles, he's throwing one hand up in the air, like he's showing us the sign or doing a commercial for it.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm throwing my hands up is what I'm doing. This is ridiculous.
Nicole Parker
And you'd throw both up if you didn't have to hold the microphone.
Paul F. Tompkins
And that store was only in business.
Nicole Parker
For about three years, which is surprising.
Paul F. Tompkins
Longer than I thought.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, that's a record for a terrible business like that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Anyway, you know that I saw a picture once of how. I think either it's in Japan or Korea, how they sell a bunch of bananas. They sell it in its different stages. So you can buy a bunch. One is green, one is like just kind of getting brown. One is. And then one's in, like a. One is open in sort of like a package so that you can eat it right away so that it's perfectly brown, ripe. So very smart. They're different. They're kept in different stages.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right. So this is not a bunch that is connected by a central stalk.
Nicole Parker
I don't believe so. No. It was like a package. Correct.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right. The evolution of the banana.
Nicole Parker
Yes. It starts brown at the end. The banana can walk.
Doug
Well, the cool thing at Bunch of Bananas was they would refuse the stock. So you could get a bunch, however many you wanted.
Paul F. Tompkins
You could go. You take like half an hour, different bananas.
Doug
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
And then say, I'd like these to be a bunch, please.
Glendon
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And then half hour later, they give you one of those Cheesecake Factory buzzers.
Nicole Parker
And I hate to say this because this is so embarrassing and. And just there's a lot of issues with this, but they. Yeah, they only play DEO On a loop over and over and over again.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
And there's a lot of problems with it. But anyways, I, I, I really hope to not get bananaed.
Paul F. Tompkins
I hope not, too. But I, I have not heard of this happening. You think this one, this is a.
Nicole Parker
One off because this was at 100. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
You think it was a scornful X?
Nicole Parker
I definitely think it was a scornful X.
Paul F. Tompkins
And how many times did it happen? Twice in the past month.
Nicole Parker
Wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
Twice in the past month.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. That's personal.
Paul F. Tompkins
So this person said, well, I can't do. I can't do it again tomorrow.
Nicole Parker
Banana me once.
Paul F. Tompkins
I want to do it so bad. Banana me once. Shame on you. Ban me twice. Also shame on you. You shouldn't be doing this. The shame is never on me.
Nicole Parker
That's right.
Doug
Well, three times a lady.
Paul F. Tompkins
Doug. When you're right, you're right.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy. Well, everybody be safe out there. And you know what? Absolutely.
Paul F. Tompkins
I agree, Joan.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Everybody be safe out there.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Weird times with these werewolves and these bananas running around.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, it's. It's our neighborhood and we love it.
Nicole Parker
It sure is. What are you going to do?
Paul F. Tompkins
Banana smearers. Werewolves.
Nicole Parker
For some reason, at the end of this podcast, I can't say dignity falls really hard. There we go. That one. That one got out clean.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do we get a clean one?
Doug
We got to clean.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, good. You can just put that in the. In place of the others.
Nicole Parker
Splice it.
Doug
Oh, every time.
Nicole Parker
No, there were a couple that I know. We'll keep it. We'll keep it.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think you should go back and replace.
Nicole Parker
We want. We want them to know he falls with. We want them to know this podcast isn't scripted. So keep it in.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, of course the podcast is not. Okay, how about give a, Give a nice clean one right now, and Doug will capture it and then he'll splice that in.
Doug
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
To all the times you say dignity falls throughout the episode.
Nicole Parker
Dignity falls now, Joe, feel it quick. Do you think that'll sound weird when it comes? It's not going to match my rhythm at all.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think it'll sound weird. All right, well, thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to hear ad free versions of the show and get access to our bonus content, go to cbbworld.com Sign up on the Maximus tier, and you're going to get a whole bunch of other content in addition to ad free episodes. And yeah, I guess that's it for this. This week's episode. We'll be back next week with another one. And until then, goodbye.
Nicole Parker
Bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.
Paul F. Tompkins
The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me Paul F. Tompkins and me.
Doug
Nicole Parker and me Bret Morris.
Paul F. Tompkins
This episode's guest was played by Vanessa Ragland. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.
Nicole Parker
Go to cbdworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length book bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.
Podcast Summary: The Neighborhood Listen – "Howling At The Moon with Vanessa Ragland"
Release Date: December 3, 2024
Guest: Glendon (played by Vanessa Ragland)
Introduction to the Episode
In this gripping episode of The Neighborhood Listen, host Paul F. Tompkins and co-host Nicole Parker delve deep into one of Dignity Falls' most enigmatic and eerie posts from the neighborhood social networking app. Joined by their ever-present engineer, Doug (Brett Morris), the trio sets the stage for an unforgettable exploration of local legends and mysterious happenings.
Setting the Scene: Preparing for the Guest
Before welcoming their guest, the hosts engage in a lighthearted discussion about the nuances of language, particularly the term "amateur actor." Nicole Parker playfully debates with Paul on finding a more flattering alternative, highlighting the show's improvisational and character-driven nature.
Introducing the Guest: Glendon’s Mysterious Tale
The episode's focal point is the invitation of Glendon, a resident who posted under the headline "Old White Ladies" in the Crime and Safety section. Her post describes witnessing several elderly women howling at the moon on Garfield Way to work, prompting her to seek advice from the chief of police.
Unraveling the Mystery: Werewolves in Dignity Falls?
As the discussion unfolds, Glendon reveals unsettling memories intertwined with possible supernatural elements. She recounts an encounter with Tim Tourniquet, the 26-year-old chief of police, who confronts her about the howling incident.
The hosts and Glendon speculate whether the howling is linked to werewolf activity in the town, blending folklore with potential real-life implications. The conversation touches on various symbolic elements like Cracker Barrel incidents, quiet tropical storms, and feelings of guilt that Glendon associates with these memories.
Deep Dive into Glendon’s Memories
Glendon becomes increasingly introspective, discussing dissociative episodes and fragmented memories that blur the lines between reality and cinematic imagination.
This revelation adds a psychological layer to the episode, prompting discussions about memory, identity, and the influence of media on personal experiences.
The Role of the Green Room and Doug’s Observations
Throughout the episode, Doug provides humorous interjections about the podcast’s green room setup, adding meta-commentary on the show’s dynamics and the challenges of managing multiple characters and narratives.
Climactic Confrontation and Unresolved Tensions
The tension peaks as Glendon describes how Tim Tourniquet’s interrogation escalates, leading to her being handcuffed and placed in an off-site location. The hosts probe deeper into the legitimacy of her memories, blurring the lines between fictional storytelling and potential underlying truths.
Conclusion: Open-Ended Mysteries and Final Thoughts
As the episode nears its end, the hosts remain contemplative about Glendon’s story, leaving listeners with unresolved questions about the true nature of the incidents in Dignity Falls. They encourage the community to remain vigilant and share any related experiences.
Nicole wraps up with a whimsical nod to the town’s quirky mythology, reinforcing the blend of humor and mystery that characterizes The Neighborhood Listen.
Notable Quotes
Paul F. Tompkins (01:05): “I am one of the residents of Dignity Falls.”
Glendon (31:16): “I kinda like you. I like you already.”
Glendon (54:00): “I think he just saw us.”
Nicole Parker (70:31): “Maybe she was hired as a secret government weapon during the desert storm.”
Glendon (77:59): “I keep to myself.”
Key Themes and Insights
Supernatural vs. Reality: The episode intricately weaves the possibility of werewolves into the fabric of Dignity Falls, challenging listeners to discern fact from folklore.
Memory and Identity: Glendon’s fragmented memories raise questions about the reliability of personal recollection and the impact of psychological states on perceived reality.
Community and Isolation: Glendon's struggle with isolation despite being part of community activities like bingo reflects broader themes of loneliness and the hidden lives of neighborhood residents.
Humor Amid Mystery: The hosts maintain a light-hearted approach, balancing the dark and mysterious elements of the story with witty banter and situational comedy.
Conclusion
"Howling At The Moon with Vanessa Ragland" stands out as a compelling episode that effectively blends mystery, humor, and community storytelling. Through Glendon’s enigmatic narrative, The Neighborhood Listen invites listeners to engage with the unseen and unheard aspects of Dignity Falls, all while maintaining the show's signature improvisational charm and engaging dialogue.
For More Episodes and Exclusive Content
To unlock ad-free access to all seasons and enjoy exclusive bonus room episodes that delve even deeper into the mysteries of Dignity Falls, visit cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus membership.