I've Totaled My Car!!!! with Mandell Maughan

Summary

The Neighborhood Listen – Episode Summary: "I've Totaled My Car!!!! with Mandell Maughan"

Release Date: June 17, 2025
Host(s): Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), Doug (Brett Morris)
Guest: Mandell Maughan (played by Mandell Maughan)

---

1. Introduction and Setting the Scene

The episode kicks off with Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins) and Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker) engaging in their signature improvisational banter, setting the playful and quirky tone of the show. They introduce the theme of the day, which revolves around an unusual product announcement from the local radio station—“cherry icy flavored almonds.”

Notable Quote:

• Nicole Parker [02:00]: "It's an almond that is flavored like an icee. Isn't that disgusting?"

2. The Cherry Icy Almond Conundrum

The hosts delve into the bizarre concept of cherry icy flavored almonds, sparking a humorous debate about the feasibility and taste appeal of such a product. Their discussion highlights the absurdity of certain marketing strategies and the creative liberties taken by local businesses in Dignity Falls.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul F. Tompkins [02:06]: "Did I hear it wrong?"
• Nicole Parker [07:01]: "That's why I hadn't gotten seated yet? Because I was putting them in this bowl for you."

3. Ad Libbing and Product Mockery

Joan introduces her own twist on the concept by presenting "margarita almonds," a comically exaggerated product that leads to exaggerated claims about its effects. The trio uses this segment to lampoon overly enthusiastic product endorsements and the often outlandish claims made by advertisers.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul F. Tompkins [08:08]: "Unlike anything you've tasted."
• Nicole Parker [08:17]: "Every bite. Bite. Who eats an almond bite by bite?"

4. Guest Introduction: Joanne and Her Car Troubles

The episode takes a serious yet humorous turn when they introduce Joanne, a local resident who has a recurring issue with totaling her Honda Civic. Joanne’s exaggerated account of 17 accidents provides a comedic exploration of bad luck and poor judgment behind the wheel.

Notable Quotes:

• Joanne [32:10]: "I can't find your number."
• Nicole Parker [33:35]: "He never from here. He never left me the house."

5. The Mechanic Breakdown: Understanding the Totaled Cars

Burnt and Joan engage in a playful yet investigative dialogue with Joanne, attempting to piece together the circumstances leading to her multiple accidents. Their interaction blends genuine concern with comedic skepticism, highlighting the absurdity of the situation.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul F. Tompkins [46:02]: "You have to shut it all the way."
• Joanne [47:41]: "I've had a couple scratches on my arm from the roll."

6. The Honda Civic Saga Continues

The conversation spirals into a deeper, albeit still humorous, analysis of the Honda Civic’s durability. The hosts mockingly question the reliability of the vehicle while Joanne provides exaggerated anecdotes of her misadventures.

Notable Quotes:

• Joanne [55:00]: "We really want to just like, is."
• Paul F. Tompkins [65:05]: "Specifically the one model that had that white stained roof."

7. Audience Interaction: Neighbor Posts and Humorous Responses

Midway through the episode, the hosts respond to listener-submitted posts, maintaining the interactive element of the show. They humorously address the absurdity of Joanne’s repeated accidents and her attempts to reach out to her sister via the neighborhood app.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul F. Tompkins [31:21]: "Alexander Ruck and John Baltz. Wow, Baltz."
• Nicole Parker [51:36]: "She wasn't calling was not because she couldn't remember the number."

8. The Huel Advertisement Break

A non-content segment briefly interrupts the main discussion with a comedic advertisement for Huel. Burnt delivers an exaggerated endorsement, blending sincerity with satire to lampoon typical podcast sponsorships.

Notable Highlights:

• Burnt's Over-the-Top Praise: "Huel's already sold over 500 million meals around the world."

9. Wrapping Up with Continued Banter and Final Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect humorously on the chaotic narratives shared by Joanne. They intertwine playful jabs with light-hearted advice, reinforcing the show's blend of comedy and community storytelling.

Notable Quotes:

• Nicole Parker [72:46]: "We truly should leave people alone."
• Paul F. Tompkins [78:53]: "You're a bad driver."

10. Post-Episode Reflections and Sign-Off

The hosts provide a brief overview of where listeners can engage further with the show, emphasizing their comedic rapport and the ongoing nature of their community interactions.

Notable Highlights:

• Invitation to Connect: "If you see a post that you think we should talk about, why don't you screenshot it and send it to [e-mail]."

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Conclusion

In "I've Totaled My Car!!!! with Mandell Maughan," The Neighborhood Listen masterfully blends humor, community interaction, and improvised storytelling to deliver an engaging episode. Through their playful examination of bizarre local products and Joanne’s exaggerated car troubles, the hosts create a rich tapestry of comedic narratives that resonate with listeners unfamiliar with the podcast. The incorporation of notable quotes and structured segments ensures a cohesive and entertaining summary of the episode's key points and discussions.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the Ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. In Dignity Fall, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast that takes a look at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its residents. I'm one of them. My name is Burnt Me Upede. I'm the pharmacist in chief here of the Dignity Falls Macy at the pharmacy. And with me, as always, is Joan Pedestrian Burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

That was perfect. That was letter perfect. I wasn't even. I wasn't even sat. I wasn't even sat yet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where were you?

[Nicole Parker]

You started while I was getting myself some, as you can see. You're welcome to try them. Would you believe it or not, this is my summer. It's good that, you know, everyone says brat summer or whatever.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, they're still saying that. Everyone.

[Nicole Parker]

Have we did. Have we dubbed the summer yet? Do we know the new summer term?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I don't think we do.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, mine's going to be Almond Summer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Interesting. Interesting.

[Nicole Parker]

Here's why. Okay, I know it's not really catchy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't. I don't feel I need an explanation. Go ahead.

[Nicole Parker]

Shopping. So, did you know they're actually coming out with that? Like an icy. Like a cherry icy Almond. I'm not making this up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't. That's what I asked.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It just tastes like almond.

[Nicole Parker]

No, it's not the icy. It's an almond that is flavored like an icee. Isn't that disgusting?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That makes even less sense somehow.

[Nicole Parker]

Did I hear it wrong?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you talking about candy? Are you describing a cough drop?

[Nicole Parker]

No, but it sounds like one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

An almond that is flavored like a cherry icy.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you know what? Regardless of whether I was wrong or not, it gave me my own idea. So screw them if they have a. If they have an icy. That's made with almond milk. Fine. But no, these were. All I heard was cherry icy flavored almonds. Gross.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where did you hear this, Joe?

[Nicole Parker]

I heard it on. I heard it on kdf, which is of course our traffic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Traffic in classical music.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. At the same time. So they do traffic reports over a bed of classical music.

[Nicole Parker]

They just figured that if you're listening to something stressful like a jackknife, at least Mozart's playing underneath. And. But sometimes with a really bad accident, they do play something like a Brahms or something underneath.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. In the hall of the Mountain King.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Where they played night on. What is it? Bald Mountain.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My know. On Bald Mountain.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. On B? Mino. On Bald Mountain. Yes. So we basically. We basically can drive around and we find out about. Because we get terrible traffic jams even though we don't have a single highway going through the town.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's really true.

[Nicole Parker]

And it's all surface streets.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's always in the same exact place. Which I don't know how they haven't figured this out yet, but there are.

[Nicole Parker]

Everyone knows that Franklin and Walnut is one of the worst intersections.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, there is. No, there is. It's a. There's a. It's a four way intersection with one stop sign.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It's in the middle. And so you have to swerve around it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Kids keep moving it around.

[Nicole Parker]

They also should have anchored it or hung it from above, but no, they didn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And there's a stoplight that. It has its own colors. There's like a purple, there's a blue.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. There's one intersection where just. It's just disco balls. It's ridiculous. And so. And of course we also have the animal crossing. We have a crosswalk here in Danny Falls. It is only for animals and that takes a very long time. You could be stuck for an hour. And people sometimes leave their cars. They just get out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like everybody hurts.

[Doug]

We also have the street that has a speed minimum.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. That's. That's Doug, our engineer, who is in a different room in the house.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. Hey, babe. Yes, we have that. And we have. We have speed dips or as Doug calls them, speed bimps. They're just divots as opposed to raised things. And they take out everyone's. Underneath everyone's car. It's a terrible idea because you can't see them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I mean they just keep putting up more signs. And it's like. Well, that's not. That's not the problem. You can't drive if you drive, because if you, if you. The only way to do it really is to speed up as fast as you can.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because if you slow down, you're just easing yourself into a hole in the ground.

[Nicole Parker]

That's exactly right. So anyways, I was. To answer your question, I was listening to. I was listening to the station and Steve Chafin came on, you know, and the way he says his name, he was Steve Chaffin. That's how he slows it down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's what bothers me about him is that he won't adjust his delivery to the music. He delivers it like he's in a helicopter. He's not. And he's screaming.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And some people think he's doing that. That he's like hitting himself on the chest. Because that'll happen sometimes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, and also because he says, I'm not hitting myself on the chest.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. I'm Steve Chafing. I'm not hitting myself on the chest. And you can tell he is. I've seen him at the gym. He is. Yes. It's just as black.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From bruising. Well, he should have a shirt on. I hate when guys. I hate when guys walk around with no shirt on at the gym.

[Nicole Parker]

Although it's almost like one of those very low hanging tank tops, you know, it's barely a tank top. Just a suggestion. I hate it more too. I just hate that I go to the same gym as stuff. Steve Chafing. Anyways, he was announcing that there's some. I think it was 7 11. Of course we don't have 7 11. We have 811 and it's hardly ever open. Yeah, it's open from 8 to 11.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's over from 8 to 8, 8pm.

[Nicole Parker]

To 11pm and that they were coming out with a summer. But. But they, but they, but they. I swear they said almonds. They did not say that it was ices. I'll have to look it up. I will look it up for you. Doug, can you look it up for us?

[Doug]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Because it gave me this idea. You're looking up a cherry icy flavored almond.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, this sounds like you've been pranked. The more you say it.

[Nicole Parker]

By an entire radio station.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, the more you say it. Are you sure the twins were not doing a fake radio broadcast?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh no, I wouldn't put it past them because I went ahead and developed my own margarita almonds. Here they are. Do you want one?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

That's why I hadn't Gotten seated yet? Because I was putting them in this bowl for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't want a margarita at any.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just a margarita flavored almond. But it will get you drunk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You've made these almonds?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. What? Babe, am I right?

[Doug]

You're spot on.

[Nicole Parker]

Ha. I told you.

[Doug]

And they're made by Blue diamond, no less.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. I am not crazy. I feel so vindicated. Can you believe this crap?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know who asked for this.

[Nicole Parker]

Who is that for?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I don't know why they were accommodated.

[Doug]

Cherry Slurpee.

[Nicole Parker]

Ew. Cherry Slurpee omelets. Worse than I remember.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It doesn't make sense.

[Nicole Parker]

And I will say, when I was driving, I thought I was imagining it. I thought, well, that can't be real. But then immediately, I went to Margarita almond. Now that's fun. You're out by the pool, it's summer, it's hot, you've got a margarita, but you also want a little something to eat with it. But you don't want to stop drinking.

[Doug]

Can I say so you just put.

[Nicole Parker]

Food in your mouth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're not making any more sense.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I've had a whole can of them already. I'm sorry I started. They work really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you know, almonds are a conflict nut.

[Nicole Parker]

They sure are. Oh, I forgot about that.

[Doug]

Oh, conflict nut.

[Nicole Parker]

They are because they take so much water, first of all. And they're actually becoming even more controversial than. Than ever. Because now some people say they're dangerous. Wait. Now I'm talking myself out of my own product.

[Doug]

Unlike anything you've ever heard of. Unlike anything you've tasted.

[Nicole Parker]

Someone wrote this copy.

[Doug]

Every bite of Cherry Slurpee flavored almonds brings a new experience.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every bite.

[Nicole Parker]

You could put five in your mouth.

[Doug]

You're supposed to savor each bite.

[Nicole Parker]

Every bit. Bite. Who eats an almond bite by bite?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Get a knife and fork.

[Doug]

Think, Summer, think. Think. Sweet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is.

[Nicole Parker]

No, this is. The fact that someone wrote this is so infuriating. Summer, it's not over yet.

[Doug]

Think pure goodness.

[Joanne]

Oh, go yourself, Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry. I get to. I get to say that you were inspired. I know Doug doesn't like when I swear, but I get to have that one. All right, continue.

[Doug]

You get all that and more in these tart tastic snacks with 7 grams of protein, period.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God. I can't even. We could spend a whole episode pulling this apart.

[Doug]

Blue diamond should be tried at the hate on BlueDiamond.com. there's three reviews, five stars.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, ready? Who.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who are the reviewers? Vincent Canby, New York Times.

[Doug]

Manders.

[Nicole Parker]

Manders.

[Doug]

Manders says perfect snap.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who's mander?

[Doug]

Female, age 35 to 44 children in household. Two that. Why is this statistic?

[Nicole Parker]

Why is there an age range? What? What does Mander say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who cares how many children Manders has?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know.

[Doug]

Best quick snack decision ever. Please make them available in a bigger container.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is cherry.

[Doug]

Wait. Okay. This person's name is Cherry.

[Nicole Parker]

These are shells. These are shells for sure.

[Doug]

Best flavor I've had. Found some at a 711 and I'm hooked. They have three children in their household.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why is that pertinent information?

[Nicole Parker]

You know why? Because I think that they're hoping that it's kids who want. I mean, who drinks Slurpees? Kids. Do you know what I mean? My boys still drink Slurpees.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they really?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God, yes. Well, especially because they've regressed to, like being six years old, you know, in. Because they're redoing kindergarten with a Mr. Scrimshake who comes to our house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And is still alive. I'm talking, of course, about my twins, Matt and Hardscape. And Hardscape, Yes. They love Slurpees.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

They filled our whole pool with them once.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, the whole pool.

[Nicole Parker]

We had drained it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

And I told them, do not do anything with this pool, okay? Do not do anything. Don't skateboard in it. And that's all they kept saying, like, well, at least we didn't skateboard in it. And that's how they used to talk. But now they would say, at least we didn't skateboard in it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. Because they're regressing. They're in their 20s. And so to fill a pool with Slurpee must be very expensive. It's expensive.

[Nicole Parker]

Five different states.

[Doug]

To get it done, all you need is the powder. Really? Water.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why? The powder.

[Doug]

Slurpee powder.

[Nicole Parker]

Slurpee powder.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I assumed it was ice based Slurpee. But you're saying it's powder syrup.

[Nicole Parker]

Babe, it's not a powder, is it?

[Doug]

Where does syrup come from? A powder.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no.

[Nicole Parker]

You know how maple syrup comes from a powder?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are you talking about?

[Doug]

You can powderize a syrup.

[Nicole Parker]

Powderize. He just said to us, you don't.

[Doug]

Think there's any powder involved in Slurpees? No, I'm calling this right now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right? Look at that. No, I'm calling this right now. What are you calling that? There is powder inside.

[Doug]

I'm like Babe Ruth right now. Call it my shot.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. We have really Gotten off to a weird start here today. We don't even know what room he's in.

[Doug]

It doesn't matter. I'm in the Stratego room.

[Nicole Parker]

It doesn't matter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Stratego Room.

[Nicole Parker]

Like the game?

[Doug]

Yeah. Life size.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you hear how he dismissed me? Right now? He's like, you're a different man right now. I don't even recognize you, Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What does that mean, life size? Because the pieces are just little, like turrets of plastic.

[Doug]

Well, there's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So they're as big as people, Is that what you're saying?

[Doug]

Yeah. What do you have? You have, like, a senator.

[Nicole Parker]

What do you have? If you're building it, don't start by saying, what do you have Sentinel or something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You do have the bomb. You do have spies.

[Nicole Parker]

This is. I don't know this game.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you have generals, you have majors, privates, things like that. Because it's like.

[Nicole Parker]

Is this like a. Like Battleship meets chess? What is this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's the game of military strategy.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the song in the commercial when I was a boy went like this. Wow.

[Doug]

You say that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I was playing it from my phone.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, because Bird Burn can only famously sing one note. There it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

You pulled that up really quickly on your phone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's one of my favorites.

[Nicole Parker]

Very impressive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I watch it so.

[Nicole Parker]

Because I thought. Oh, that sounds exactly like it. Because that. It was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was that.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it was exactly that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was just holding my phone up to the.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm glad we could hear that. I can catch Doug.

[Doug]

Is that sung by the Ricolo guy?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. No, I don't think so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Many years apart.

[Nicole Parker]

Many years. Many decades, I would say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like the Ricola guy. His voice would have darkened over time, as happens with the opera singers.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that you meant. Because his existence just in the Alps by himself, Just calling people would make it dark. That's a haunted person. If all you do is go, Ricola. Does anyone ever come to him? I mean, what's he even doing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You need to do a part two to that commercial where somebody shows up.

[Nicole Parker]

Very worried about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you have those?

[Nicole Parker]

An existential crisis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I heard there was throat lozenges around here. I was in my village and shoeing.

[Nicole Parker]

A horse as you do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then I heard the clarion call.

[Nicole Parker]

So wait, did you. Okay, so you're in the strategy room. Okay, fine. I'm not as familiar with that game. I know. The boys loved it. They choked on the pieces all the time. They got them shoved up their nose. It was very dangerous. So I'm Glad you're making them life size, babe. Now it's not possible to put them in your nose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think the game that probably had the most choking hazards was Othello because those pieces looked delicious.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, they did look like candy. You're right. I thought you were gonna say. My instinct was to say operation. I don't know why.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The wacky doctor's game.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, they sort of look candy. My boys definitely thought that everyone had those real bones and actually had, like, a bread basket in their stomach and a rubber band.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

To this day, I think they believe that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they thought doctors had to put up with that noise whenever they were operating on someone.

[Nicole Parker]

Whenever they see a clown, they go up to them and be like, can you check my arm? It feels like it's hurting. Do you have diagnosis? They think a clown is a doctor is what I mean, you know, because his red. His red light.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's the.

[Nicole Parker]

His red light, nose lights up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's the patient.

[Nicole Parker]

My. My child. Yeah. Goes up to a clown.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right, right. But the clown is not the doctor.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I know the. The. The person. My son says to the clown, hey, can you take a look at this operation? Oh, he's the patient.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's the patient.

[Nicole Parker]

You got me there, Bruce.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The doctor can't operate on himself because his mother was a woman.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. I had too many of these margarita almonds. I' Margarita almonds. Margarita almonds. I want a more ridiculous copy for my margarita almonds than that nonsense was, because if they can do that, I mean, that was ridiculous. I'm gonna have to see that in print later.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Imbelbo says these margarita almonds got me just drunk enough. I have six children and I'm 31 to 42.

[Nicole Parker]

She said they have three to four and a half children. What is the first word you said? Imbelbo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Imbelbo.

[Joanne]

What's imbelbo?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's just a name made up like Manders.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, what were you looking up from the Stratego room?

[Doug]

I did find.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, the powder.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, it. Powder eyes.

[Doug]

You know, I found watermelon slushy mix that seems to be a powder. Visually, wow. Visually, yeah, I see it. I see a picture of it.

[Nicole Parker]

I think you're just looking. I think we're watermelon melon Kool aid, babe. I think we're both looking at watermelon koolaid. That's what he says all the time to end a fight. I think we're both right. I think we're both right.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sugar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sugar, sugars. Sand is a powder.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. This is really, really getting out of control. Now listen, let me. Oh, did you say with a T?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I don't know.

[Doug]

Sorry. I'm feeling fancy in the Stratego room.

[Nicole Parker]

Fancy? Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you dressed like one of the Stratego characters?

[Nicole Parker]

What do they dress like?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, they. They. There's little. There's little pictures on the pieces of each character.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they're. They're just like these outlines in. In gilt, you know, or silver. And they're very. They're nice little drawings. They're fancy.

[Doug]

Very fancy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The spy was my favorite. A monocle and a mustache.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. Okay. You really. This. This room might be a hit, babe.

[Doug]

I have kind of a Kaiser helmet on.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

With a spike.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Great. So, Burnt, what's going on with you? Because when we last. I know that the. The parade happened to celebrate the. The pill. Of the 100th year. Invention of the pill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

700Th year.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, 700th year. That's right. And the pill as we know it. Yeah, just a good old pill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And Gabby saved you from the mouth of the burning straw man, which you had to build for the parade, which almost put you into a dark hole.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Mentally. And now you're fine. And I want to know what you are doing now. Do you have summer plans? Last summer? Of course. Famously. We know that burnt and Gabby, his girlfriend, went to Myk. Yes, I had a wonderful time. On the way home, the plane didn't even make it that far because the volcano exploded. They had to make an emergency lava landing. Everybody scrambled to the top of the plane. A bunch of helicopters came and took them away, and then a swarm of helicopters. And then everyone had great sex afterwards.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's correct.

[Nicole Parker]

So given that was your summer last year. What in the world? Also, still not a single article, not a single TikTok reel about that incident. Never covered.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, we all.

[Nicole Parker]

When the tried to talk about the drones over New Jersey, a whole bunch. No one want to talk about a lava landing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The passengers, nobody took any footage. We instantly threw our phones in the line.

[Nicole Parker]

I did appreciate that. Because you know what? Most of the time, everyone whips out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Their phones, you know, but everybody realized.

[Nicole Parker]

They threw them into the lobby.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, we gotta get rid of these phones.

[Nicole Parker]

It's sad that that's what it takes to finally get us off our phones. A lava landing. What have we come to first? Cherry slushy almonds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. So, yeah, that was wild.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course it is. So, okay. I hope you're planning something more calm for this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, we're going to Hawaii.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, great. What could go wrong? Yeah, I mean, they're all volcanoes. There are volcanoes there. Did you know?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I forgot about that.

[Nicole Parker]

No, you didn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I did forget about that, Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would I lie about that? With that sweet short film that comes before Moana, when the two volcanoes sing to each other. I love you. I was kidding. I knew this was gonna make you mad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have not seen this, Joan. It doesn't. It doesn't make me mad. I just haven't.

[Nicole Parker]

It actually makes me mad. It's the one Pixar shirt I don't love. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you seen the one bow where he's a little dumpling?

[Nicole Parker]

It's so disturbing. But my boys, they love it. I mean, it's very sad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a very sad story.

[Nicole Parker]

When she eats it. Gasp. I'm sorry for spoiling this short picture. Picture, picture.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Monster Tank. Get it.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a hit. It's for a picture. You have to stay with us. It goes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a real toy story.

[Nicole Parker]

See? Boy. Are you sure I didn't have an almond?

[Joanne]

It's just.

[Nicole Parker]

It's rubbing off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know, something that's happening at the falsemacy is that. I think it's like they're making flimsier.

[Nicole Parker]

Pill capsules. Anything. Pill capsules. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because a lot of us, I feel like when we're handling the pills, we started wearing gloves because.

[Nicole Parker]

Started. Well, that's concerning. Good Lord. Just now. Yikes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, there was no rule that we had to wear gloves.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you sure? Yes, there has to have been. @ cvs. This is because it's the falsemacy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At cvs. Yes, there was.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At cvs, you had to double glove.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you had to wash your hands with the gloves on. What a waste of time.

[Nicole Parker]

Truly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the false messy. As long as you promise to wash your hands.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I don't like that. No, I don't like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so the.

[Nicole Parker]

The.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But the various medications were seeping into our fingers.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And causing chaos.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sure people were falling asleep. People were amped up to no. Like nobody's business. People were breaking out on all kinds of hives.

[Nicole Parker]

They were.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People were going into comas.

[Nicole Parker]

There were no good side effects whatsoever from one pill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The amped up people seemed happy.

[Nicole Parker]

Just. Sorry there wasn't a matchup for someone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And some people calmed way down and they seemed Very much.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, if you're saying that it was rubbing off, why do you want flimsier pill cases, then?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, we're saying they're making them flimsy.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, they're making them flimsier.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that's asking for that. Okay, yes, that's the problem. Is that seeping through?

[Nicole Parker]

I see. But did the gloves solve it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

For the most part. But I think that they're also making these medications stronger, probably.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, we did address the fact that my daughter, Jalapey. It's very embarrassing. Was dropping off a prescription that Burns saw. You saw.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did not get to see it because it was snatched out of my hands.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. By Billy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very tall pharmacist named Billy.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Yes. And. And she's actually just using them to empty out all the drugs into a single Ziploc bag. So we have no idea what's in there. And I don't know what to do with it. I don't want to. I don't want to take to a landfill. I don't want to. I want to dump it out. We don't have any water in the town anymore, so I can't put it in a lake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Nicole Parker]

And I don't want to leave it somewhere for animals to, you know, conversely, get high, fix their blood pressure, get.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Depressed, do what they do in a drug raid, and flush it down the toilet.

[Doug]

Yeah. Good, fellas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you, Doug.

[Nicole Parker]

Thanks for backing me up, Doug.

[Doug]

Like Karen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good fellas. Joan, why did you do that?

[Doug]

Why did you do that?

[Nicole Parker]

You know, I. I will say Lorraine Bracco just was. She was so. She was such a glamorous mess in that movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She really was.

[Nicole Parker]

And honestly, it is pretty. It's pretty iconic. It's the one time I was like, I could be a mob wife. I think I could. I make it look good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is not a movie podcast, by the way.

[Nicole Parker]

No, it's not. And this is not an endorsement.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Mob wifery. Yes, mobwifery.

[Nicole Parker]

Mobwifree. Which is it? Good Lord. It doesn't even matter what I was saying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It really does.

[Nicole Parker]

I really soaked these almonds in tequila for a few days. They really. It seeped in, and it's really hitting me right now, and I apologize. I was just so excited about them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Take them back at work.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. It seems like we're both just somehow ingesting these toxins that we shouldn't be at this moment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just want to say don't ingest toxins.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't do that, please. And always wear gloves if you are in a pharmacy. My God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. On either side of the counter.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess just to be safe, they.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are doing formal Fridays at the. Where people have to dress up like they're in the gilded age.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? Well, that's funny because you guys are already dressed in sort of very old fashioned type of robes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. We have our. We have our robes of office. And then underneath that, of course, we wear Howie coats, which is the sort of Dr. Frankenstein lab coat.

[Nicole Parker]

This is not to be conf. Confused with Dr. Frankenstone throat, which is a condition. Burn. Sometimes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, Frankenstone throat. I sometimes get.

[Nicole Parker]

Like. If he wants to call if something hits him deeply, he'll. Well, can you do it? Burn. Can you demonstrate it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll say, let me.

[Nicole Parker]

Deeply. Oh, sure. You know, it's just. It's hard because you realize that as. As time goes by, the. The more time that goes by, the older we get.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, John, that's so true. Because we don't know how much time we have lives on this earth.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not what I was expecting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What were you expecting? I thought that's what it was.

[Nicole Parker]

No, let me do an impression of it. You give me something to respond.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know, Joan, eventually the kids are going to be grown up and they'll be the adults and you'll be the child.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, do you remember Igor?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then you were Igor.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why would you. Master.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't remember you being Igor.

[Doug]

I thought I was for a second.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, boy, we all do. Isn't that true?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sure we talked for too long.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long have you been going?

[Doug]

15 past? A quarter till.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what?

[Doug]

I love saying that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What does it mean? A half hour?

[Doug]

15. Pass. A quarter till. Think about it.

[Nicole Parker]

I am.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I am thinking about it. Is it being a half hour?

[Doug]

It's 23.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, that's a perfect time. That's not. What?

[Doug]

15. Never mind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What does it mean?

[Doug]

It's a time joke.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it's a time joke. You wouldn't get it. Burn. It's a time joke.

[Doug]

15 past quarter till means. It's. It's like she can't say it. 12. You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

No, that. I don't know. What.

[Doug]

Because a quarter till is 50 is 15 minutes ago or. No.

[Nicole Parker]

What are you ingesting?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, Doug, we've. We've divulged our substances. What do you got going on there? Into the Stratego room.

[Doug]

Stratego has two lakes in the middle of the board Lakes. It does.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. You know how a lot of military battles involve lakes?

[Nicole Parker]

This is in our house. House.

[Doug]

But, you know, that's a lot of frigate.

[Nicole Parker]

There's a lot of frigates in lake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are they actual lakes or are they just painted on the. On the.

[Doug]

No, I brought in some water.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. You better have filters in there or something moving them.

[Doug]

That could be getting to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, some of the great. The gases from the pond water.

[Nicole Parker]

Fantastic. All right, well, we definitely should take a break.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We should take a break.

[Nicole Parker]

I need to drink a lot of water.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And I need to, I don't know, either handle more pills or.

[Nicole Parker]

No, that's not it. That's not it. Okay, great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll be back with the neighbor listen when the neighbor Listen returns. Hi, it's Paul and I want to tell you about Huel. What's hu. Well, I'll tell you what, a little backstory that you star in. If you're constantly on the move or just tired of skipping meals, Huel has you covered. They are our sponsor and they are spelled H U E L. And their black edition, Ready to Drink is a total game changer. It is a complete meal in one bottle with 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals, high fiber, low sugar, so you feel feel full, focused and ready for your day. No prep, no cleanup, just grab and go. Huel's already sold over 500 million meals around the world. And now it's your turn, if you're on planet Earth to try it. New customers get 15% off plus a free [e-mail] when you use our code TNL. Don't miss out. Try it today. Look, I've done Huel so many times, I don't know if they want that sort of wording. Yule is great. I'm always running around like a maniac, like a chicken maniac with no head on. And a lot of times I will forget to eat a lunch. And that dip in the middle of the day is absolute death. Not a problem anymore, thanks to Huell, because I can grab one of those, I can drink it in the car, safely at stoplights, and then I'm set. I don't feel hungry. I feel full. I feel energized. And I'm ready to go for the rest of my miserable day. Thank you, Huel. Okay, here's what I want you to do. Remember that Huel tastes very good. They have a lot of good flavors. I enjoy all of them. They're delicious. It's incredibly affordable. High protein meals less than $5. It's a budget friendly option that I'm genuinely excited to tell you about and it's a perfectly balanced meal and it saves you time. It's designed by experts to provide all the nutrients your body needs from a meal. Huel takes the guesswork and time out of healthy eating. No prep, no cooking, no problem. So do what I said. Please start saving time and money without compromising your nutrition today with this exclusive offer for new customers of 15% + a free gift using our exclusive code tnl.com that's 15% + a free gift for new customers using the code [e-mail] Please see our description for the terms and conditions. Skip the stress, not the nutrition. Try Huel today for complete nutrition.

[Nicole Parker]

Bottled.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hello, this is Shyna. For sale. Well, for free. High school graduation gown and cap. It's a high school red graduation gown and cap. Would like to pass it on to someone who really needs it used only once. And I'm cleaning the closet. I hope you understand what that means. It's that I am cleaning the closet while wearing a graduation cap and gown. I myself never graduated from anything and so I bought this for fun. Never got to use it, couldn't think of an appropriate occasion and so decided well, I'm going to get rid of it. It and all the other costumes that I bought myself for things that I never would do. I, I have judges robes, I have wizard robe. I have a doctor's coat. I have hard hat. Some of these I'm keeping, of course, lifeguard whistle. I also have cricket bat. I have basketball hoop. So if you'd like to come over to my closet and walk around in it. It's very big. I don't know if you've seen the TV show with the four women friends, but they have a closet. Not all of them, but one of them has a closet that is so much size, so many things. Mostly shoe. Anyway, this is Shyna saying, why don't you look smart by wearing graduation cap and gown. Help me pass it on. Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen and Joan. We have a guest with us in the Kitchen island studio.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank goodness. Maybe they can bring some, some, some calm and grounding to this this episode.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As we do every week we scour the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods and we look for interesting people in dignity falls to talk to. If you see a post that you think we should talk about, why don't you screenshot it and send it to [e-mail]. now, this one. This is very rare, but occasionally it happens. Okay, this is one post submitted by two different listeners.

[Nicole Parker]

No way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Two different people sent this one.

[Nicole Parker]

That's kind of amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Alexander Ruck and John Baltz.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow, Baltz.

[Joanne]

Weird name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they both sent in this one. This is in the general section, and it's from someone named Joanne. And Joanne posts. Betty T. Please don't come today. I've totaled my car. Four exclamation marks, little car emoji. Not home. Can't find your number. I'm so, so sorry, Joanne. And the post is structured like a poem.

[Nicole Parker]

Can I see?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And is there a picture? Oh, it is. It's like a haiku.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Betty T. Please don't come today.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I said.

[Nicole Parker]

I. I know. I'm just reading it out loud for myself again. Sometimes I don't take it all in to it, you know what I mean? Also because of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. You hear my voice, you tune out.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no. The state that I'm in right now. The almonds burn to the almonds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's where you're drunk.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not home. Can't find your number. So. Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Okay, here we go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. And here with us to hopefully explain is Joanne. Joanne. Welcome to the neighborhood.

[Joanne]

Jesus Christ was like ptsd.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Joanne]

Hell of a day. Hell of a day.

[Nicole Parker]

When did this just happen?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This just happened today.

[Joanne]

No, no, no, no. Two days ago.

[Nicole Parker]

Why was today a hell of a day?

[Joanne]

Well, it was. That was a hell of a day.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that was a hell of a day. Okay.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Can you imagine? Have you ever totaled your car before?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, okay, now, see, that's. I'm unclear. Who is Betty T. To you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And why was this the way to.

[Nicole Parker]

Reach out to us? Right. I thought you'd leave a note on the car, maybe got.

[Joanne]

Guys, give me some grace here. You're in a state of panic. You know what I mean? You just totaled your car. I don't. I didn't even have my phone. This was a pedestrian's phone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, a passerby.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah.

[Joanne]

Oh, my God. You just totaled your car. No, I'm the one that totaled it. I know. I just told you.

[Nicole Parker]

And to be clear, she doesn't mean one of my relatives. I am a pedestrian, Joan. Pedestrian. But this is just an actual person walking in the street. I just want to make that clear.

[Joanne]

That's your last name.

[Nicole Parker]

It is.

[Joanne]

Fantastic.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Joanne]

So they did. We had some words because the guy Obviously telling me something that's very obvious, which is that my car's total.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who said the pedestrian?

[Joanne]

The passerby. Yeah, the passerby. Should we say passerby to not get confused?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it won't confuse me. It's fine.

[Joanne]

I don't want you to think that.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, for birthday, this person was related to you, but wait, I want it. Can I even go back further? Sure. What is it that you. How did you total your car? What did you total it for?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great question, Joe.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Joanne]

Okay, well, this is not the first time I've totaled my car.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I didn't even ask that.

[Joanne]

Not once has it been my fault. I just want to make that clear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Never.

[Joanne]

Never.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How many times are we talking about?

[Joanne]

17 times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a lot.

[Nicole Parker]

Seven was gonna be a lot. And then she added a teeth. You guys have never told.

[Joanne]

Listen, maybe it's bad luck with me as a driver, but, I mean, at this point, I hadn't even gotten that far. I ran into my garage and that just. I would drive a Honda Civic. I just ran my haul, by the way. It's been a Honda Civic every single time. So I don't even know that I'm.

[Nicole Parker]

A Honda Civic or. You just can't get sold.

[Joanne]

I have to get a sure.

[Nicole Parker]

At this point, My Lord.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

License.

[Nicole Parker]

That's also fair.

[Joanne]

Well, the DMV in Dignity falls. That is true. Lisa. That works there. She's quite forgiving.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that is very true. She always has the longest line.

[Joanne]

Yeah, she does.

[Nicole Parker]

And also, as we've established, the Disney does have clowns.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And there will be people behind other windows saying, I'm open here.

[Joanne]

And people are like, no, you got to go to Lisa. Especially if you've told your toad I love her, though.

[Nicole Parker]

Though.

[Joanne]

I mean, talk about second, third, fourth chances.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah.

[Joanne]

Someone's a very forgiving Christian woman.

[Nicole Parker]

So on this particular. Amen. So on this particular day, this particular incident, referring to you drove into your garage.

[Joanne]

Well, I thought I put it in reverse. I was parked in the driveway. This is why you shouldn't park in your driveway. You should park in your garage. But I was parked in the driveway. I had gotten home. I had to run in the house. I was going to meet Betty T. Okay. You were going to meet her.

[Nicole Parker]

I see.

[Joanne]

Well, she was. I know the Post said she was going to come over. That's where the mistake happened. I thought I was supposed to meet her at the cafe. We meet every week.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Joanne]

She was going to come over when I ran, when I Ran my car into the garage. I was like, I shouldn't even be.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it because you thought you were in reverse?

[Joanne]

Yeah, I thought I was in.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, you thought you were.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you ran. You ran into the door.

[Joanne]

I thought I was in drive. And then. So I hit the gas.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Joanne]

Hit the garage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I said. What? I think I said.

[Nicole Parker]

You thought.

[Joanne]

I think it's what I said. I think that's why you need to say it again. That's what I said.

[Nicole Parker]

What did you say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm trying to get it all straight.

[Nicole Parker]

We all said.

[Joanne]

We all said the same thing.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just. It's a. For whatever. For very few words. It's a little hard to figure out what's going on in this post. Is all. Because I. I thought that in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why were you going to reverse?

[Joanne]

Because I was leaving the driveway.

[Nicole Parker]

She was going to reverse.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So your. Your car is facing the front of the garage.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And you ran in to get something, you said.

[Joanne]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Okay.

[Joanne]

I was ra. My phone came back to the car. Put the car in what I thought was reversed. It wasn't reversed. It was drive.

[Doug]

Drive.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. And you were parked. You were park the garage.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, she was in the driveway.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. I thought you said this is why you should always park in the driveway and not in the garage.

[Joanne]

This is why I learned my lesson. No, no, no, no. I said you should always park in the garage.

[Nicole Parker]

She did say that. She did say that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But if you parked in the garage.

[Nicole Parker]

Then you would have it into your house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Cuz I mean, this is what I. You're saying. Regardless of whether or not she was in the garage or the driveway, you. She probably would have accidentally done this incorrectly. It's still.

[Joanne]

I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying, and that's a good point. But I feel like when you're in the garage, you don't make these kind of mistakes. You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

You have the old tennis finger that's hanging. That's how you know you're in your home environment.

[Joanne]

It's less chaotic. You know what I mean? Like, you know what's going on. I feel like because I was parked in the driveway, I was not part of my routine. That's why.

[Nicole Parker]

Fragments. Did you hear it? Okay.

[Doug]

I always write on our tennis ball, make sure it's in reverse.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Smart.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

All of it. Sentence. All you see is.

[Doug]

You kind of see me.

[Joanne]

Yeah, but if it spins.

[Nicole Parker]

If you spin. I know. And sometimes it spins back.

[Joanne]

Yeah. That could get confusing.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a little problematic. So. So. So you go. You go right through the door. The garage door, I'm assuming. But it totaled your car more so than the door.

[Joanne]

Oh, it's a Honda Civic. It's a Honda Civic.

[Nicole Parker]

How fast for were you going or how strong is the door for? To totally.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is the door made of?

[Joanne]

Yeah, steel.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. I. I don't really see a lot of steel garage doors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. I assume they're like aluminum.

[Joanne]

That's what sold me on buying that house.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, the steel garage door.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Cuz the. The rest of it is a fixer upper right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you thought at least I would.

[Nicole Parker]

Have to work on that garage door.

[Joanne]

I had a house previously. I'm not from here.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Joanne]

You know.

[Doug]

Where are you from?

[Joanne]

The South.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The South.

[Nicole Parker]

Palm Springs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The south of California.

[Joanne]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

But Southern Palm Springs, I imagine that is the thing.

[Joanne]

Not Palm Deserts. It's not Palm Desert, by the way. I know I don't look like someone from Palm Deserts. I'm sure you didn't assume that.

[Nicole Parker]

You definitely don't. Don't worry.

[Joanne]

Thank you. So.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And when did you move here to Dignity Falls?

[Joanne]

A year ago.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Joanne]

But I used to come here in the summers as a kid.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, do you have family here?

[Joanne]

Well, my parents used to have a house here that would bring us here in the summer because, you know, Palm Springs is too hot.

[Nicole Parker]

It's too hot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was a great place to summer.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it was.

[Joanne]

Love it. So grew up here. Parents died when I was about 18. Oh, I'm so sorry. Did not leave the house to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you have siblings? Did they leave it to someone else?

[Joanne]

Betty T. Is my sibling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Betty T. Really? She's my sister.

[Nicole Parker]

My cousin. Why did you contact her on the neighborhap instead of. You got your phone? First of all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. She didn't have her phone.

[Joanne]

I didn't have my phone. I had to remember it was the passerby.

[Nicole Parker]

But you said that you just ran into the house to get your phone. Did you. Did you get.

[Joanne]

It was. It was damaged in the. When I totaled the car.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Joanne]

Okay. Couldn't use that phone.

[Doug]

Can I just say this is the hardest hitting interview you two have given us.

[Joanne]

I know.

[Nicole Parker]

We'Re demanding answers. I was sorry, Lisa.

[Joanne]

You know, anyways, because I have. I have another sister. Betty M.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Joanne]

You know, and. And they don't talk, but I talk to both of them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why isn't your name Betty?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Oh, because I was firstborn okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and then they just had the Betty idea later.

[Joanne]

Or the two twins.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're twins. Both named Betty, but different middle names.

[Joanne]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That is confusing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, what are the middle names?

[Joanne]

Betty, Tamara, and then Betty Mandolin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Mandolin. Well, that's kind of pretty.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it is pretty. I like that.

[Joanne]

She's horrible, by the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, she's so sorry.

[Doug]

You ever call her Manders?

[Joanne]

Not beautiful.

[Nicole Parker]

I knew you were gonna ask that, Doc. I just knew it. I almost asked.

[Joanne]

Nickname Manders. I will say so, too. Yeah. Especially for someone that. She's just ugly inside.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear. Why has she always been, like. Even as a kid?

[Joanne]

Oh, yeah. It's like. I remember when my mom had her, she was. She was the second one out. You know, Betty T came out first and then Betty M. And it was just like, the devil's here. You know, you could see it on her face. Have you ever seen that on a baby? Like when you.

[Nicole Parker]

My second twin took a full 24 hours to come out. I didn't even realize he was in there. Yes, I have three and I have twins.

[Joanne]

That's who I saw when I came in here.

[Nicole Parker]

It was a surprise to everyone. Oh, that's. Oh, you saw them outside?

[Joanne]

I didn't know that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ultrasound and the doctor said to you, looks like he's alone in there.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah. They were curious because, you know, they've hidden themselves in the walls before in my house. They were learning how to prank me, even in utero.

[Joanne]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

That's the thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

And so I fully understand that idea of, like, oh, no, this one's going to be trouble. And so. And that's why, you know, that's why they both got very differing names, which makes me surprised that you. That she wouldn't have named the second one something very specific so that you would never get them confused.

[Joanne]

No, I'm not surprised. I mean, it seems. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, moving on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nothing we can do with that.

[Joanne]

You could tell them apart by their face, you know, and the attitude.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean. Oh, so they're not. They're fraternal. They're not identical.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, right.

[Joanne]

Yeah, they're fraternal, but. But I'm saying the de. The devil face you could see.

[Nicole Parker]

Did they both. Do they both still live here then?

[Joanne]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And what do they do?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So they also moved here from Southern pubs.

[Joanne]

Well, they got the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not pumped up.

[Joanne]

They got the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They got the house.

[Joanne]

They are mystery shoppers.

[Nicole Parker]

Mystery shoppers. Like, when. When there's like a commercial for, like. Like, is it like a taste test thing? Where they don't reveal.

[Joanne]

Hires you to go it. To go to a. Like, you go to a retail store. I used to do mystery shopping. That's how I. Oh, you did.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, see, I just talk about it from your perspective.

[Joanne]

I've actually. I'm surprised you don't recognize me from doing it at the pharmacy. But what happens is the company hires you, you the. To the location, and you pretend to be a customer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, do you have. Do you have, like, a. A wild Dolly Parton wig?

[Joanne]

It's the eyes. Right now I can picture you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. I mean, this is. It's an impressive wig. It really does stand out, though.

[Joanne]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Joanne]

Two feet high.

[Nicole Parker]

It's so interesting because. Okay. Uhhuh.

[Joanne]

You have to look like a local, so.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Joanne]

You know, so you wear a wig.

[Nicole Parker]

And then what do you do? What do you do?

[Joanne]

Well, you act like a customer. So you walk through. You're looking for problems with what's. What's the customer service like? You know, and everybody loves pointing back.

[Nicole Parker]

To, like, some consultant firm or whatever of, like, this is what you need to change.

[Joanne]

Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like undercover boss, but a middleman.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

And then you get paid narc. And sometimes. Sometimes you get free stuff.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's fun.

[Joanne]

You know, so, like, if you do it at a restaurant, you get, like, a free. Well, the pharmacy. You guys, I gave you great reviews.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, thank you very much. I appreciate it. We pride ourselves on giving good service service.

[Nicole Parker]

And was this after they finally decided to wear gloves?

[Joanne]

I didn't even realize that, to be honest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Legally allowed to not wear gloves.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Doug]

That only potentially harms them. Not because.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you, Doug.

[Nicole Parker]

Because I feel like, you know, they're handling all sorts of different bills. What if residue. If residue is able to get into your blood stream, then. Then the residue is able to get into another pill that you handle. What are you saying?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Blame these pill container manufacturers. I let a few of yours go.

[Doug]

There's an Enya in there.

[Nicole Parker]

I never. I always have more than you. Let me have some fun. Okay, so. I'm really sorry, Joanne. We got a little bit off there. So. So you. Let's get back to the incident at hand. You drove into your very strong steel car, which totaled your Honda Civic. Then what happened happened? The passerby.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I said, phone was down. Can I. It was like my phone was in there. I can't get to my phone. Can I use your phone? I'm supposed to meet my sister.

[Nicole Parker]

Was rendered completely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Phone was the car just accordioned?

[Joanne]

Yeah, like it was just like it went from. How long is a. Is a car a basic condition?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like one car length?

[Joanne]

Yeah, like one. Yeah. So it went from one car length to like a fourth of a car.

[Nicole Parker]

Like, I don't understand. You could. Couldn't have been going more than three miles an hour.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

DS how did you pick up so much momentum?

[Joanne]

I was late. I hit the gas. I just hit it. I hit the gas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How. How far away were you?

[Nicole Parker]

And it's got to be less than a car's length. Less than a car's length. For sure. Yeah.

[Joanne]

Is there any way we can call Honda Civic and get answers to, like, someone who's built.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know, babe.

[Joanne]

Honda Civic to get his.

[Nicole Parker]

That's my husband's voice you can hear. And I guess he's on it. He's on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Guess he's doing it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He'll get back to Honda Civic on the line.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, let's get. I would love to ask.

[Joanne]

I have the same questions you guys do, you know?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Joanne]

So does my insurance.

[Nicole Parker]

Just let us know when you have them, Doug.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Honda Civic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is your helpful Honda man.

[Nicole Parker]

Honda. That was quick. His name is Hondo.

[Doug]

Have fun, Hondo.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who am I talking to?

[Doug]

Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Excuse me, to whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?

[Doug]

It's whom, Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Whom?

[Joanne]

Doug, Ask how long a car a Honda Civic is. Ask him how long it is. It is.

[Doug]

How long it is. How long is it?

[Nicole Parker]

You should just patch two.

[Doug]

No. How long is it? How long is it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long is one, sir?

[Doug]

One Civic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long is one Honda Civic?

[Doug]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One car link.

[Joanne]

That's why I was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope I was helpful.

[Nicole Parker]

Goodbye.

[Joanne]

Oh, we didn't even.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Doug]

I forgot there's a time limit.

[Joanne]

We didn't even get to time limit.

[Nicole Parker]

There's a clock that ticks down. You got to get your question. Since Doug, you have so much time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Saying how long is that?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And you corrected him and you said whom? You said whom, Doug. We didn't need that.

[Doug]

I panicked when he asked me again what my name also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, were you doing a little bit of a voice?

[Nicole Parker]

I thought so. You didn't have to do a voice.

[Doug]

What voice was I doing?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It sound like you were trying to do the voice of the guy on the phone.

[Doug]

Oh, no, that's because I'm Kaiser Doug right now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sorry.

[Doug]

You forget.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Understood. You forget.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right.

[Joanne]

I thought you sounded very professional.

[Doug]

Thank you.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. So this passerby. So for whatever reason, the phone was destroyed. Which we still can't quite figure out the physics of that. But it's destroyed.

[Joanne]

If a car length goes from. If a car goes from one car length to one fourth, everything in it is done. Everything in it.

[Nicole Parker]

I was gonna say. Did your airbag deploy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Joanne]

As soon as I saw it going, I jumped out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What, so you saw it going?

[Nicole Parker]

Which way did you jump out? Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. Just to recap what we know so.

[Nicole Parker]

Far, my mental state, it's hard to keep.

[Doug]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know it's very emotional. You were in an accident. So to recap what we know so far.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were in your car.

[Nicole Parker]

Honda Civic.

[Joanne]

I had. Then the music was going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, don't add stuff.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll get back.

[Nicole Parker]

We don't need it.

[Joanne]

I wanted to give you my state of mind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so you're in your Honda.

[Joanne]

It was Janet Jackson.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Okay. You got let. We got to get through it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You are one car length away from your steel garage door. You think you're in reverse, but you're actually in drive.

[Nicole Parker]

She runs to go get a phone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You floor it.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, she runs to go get her phone. So it had to have been in park. All right, so it was in park while she ran into the house. House to grab her phone. She comes back.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, I, I, I guess I forgot the running into the house to get the phone because it was not part of the accident.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, fair enough. It's just you would think that maybe that was enough time to sort of get yourself reset and be able to get into reverse. Problem.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One might think.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, but here's why I bring it up. Did you leave the door open when you got back in? I'm trying to figure out how you ejected yourself.

[Joanne]

Yeah, the door, I hadn't quite closed it all the way cuz, you know, when you're in a rush, I feel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like I didn't get to give my full summation.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, Burton.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Before we added.

[Nicole Parker]

Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Continue on your path.

[Joanne]

It was the Jamie Jackson.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think. You think you're in reverse. So you were playing on flooring it in reverse onto the street.

[Joanne]

I was late. I was running.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Instead, you are in drive. You go. The car goes one car length into the door. In that time when you realize, oh, no, I've made a mistake.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You abandon ship.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Jump out of the car, driver's side.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Door, at the driver's side door, door, and your car is just cubed.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have, you have destroyed it. And so the phone, there's no way it's apparently.

[Nicole Parker]

No way.

[Joanne]

No way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't get to it.

[Joanne]

At the very least, no, not an iPhone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. And you sustained any injuries, or. Are you okay?

[Joanne]

I mean, a couple. I had a couple scratches on my arm from the roll.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Joanne]

Out the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, and you were listening to Janet Jackson?

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And what song specifically?

[Joanne]

Together Again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And when back.

[Joanne]

Do you know the song?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought that sounded like Everywhere I Go, Every Step. No, that's a Chibi theme song.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, you're right.

[Joanne]

No, no, no.

[Doug]

It's the same as this, as the theme song.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it really?

[Doug]

It is, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was there a court case?

[Doug]

There should have been. I remember thinking that when I heard it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Joanne]

I've had to prove myself again and again.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to do what?

[Joanne]

I've had to prove myself again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it's just because your story is.

[Doug]

Weird, but can I call Hondo again?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I don't know that you'll get to. I mean, it's impossible to get the same person back. You'll get someone else. You can try.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, I'm curious.

[Nicole Parker]

You can try.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, call them.

[Nicole Parker]

Try and see.

[Joanne]

Ask him about the janitor.

[Nicole Parker]

Hello. Hello. Welcome to your Honda dealership.

[Joanne]

I'm Hondo.

[Nicole Parker]

Can I help you?

[Doug]

Yeah, I'm Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They'll use the same name.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I see. But that's definitely not the same guy. No, it's a lady. It sounds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It sounds like a lady.

[Doug]

Do you think.

[Nicole Parker]

Hello?

[Doug]

Do you think there's powder and Slurpees?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why are you asking?

[Doug]

Am I speaking Doug? I said Doug. They always want to know twice.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a helpful Honda policy, sir. All right. Hello, Doug. What are you asking?

[Doug]

Do you. Do you think there's powder in Slurpees? And then what was your question?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why did you put your question in there? That has nothing to do with hobby, babe.

[Joanne]

That's not what we're calling for.

[Nicole Parker]

You're gonna confuse her here. I'm sorry, what is this about? Is this regarding a Honda or not?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you pass Joanne through to the Honda person?

[Doug]

All right, go ahead.

[Joanne]

Hi, I recently. This is Joanne.

[Nicole Parker]

Who am I speaking with?

[Joanne]

Joanne.

[Nicole Parker]

Joanne, how maybe have helped. This is Hondo.

[Joanne]

I recently totaled my Honda Civic. I ran it into my garage.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what'd she say? Let's listen. Well, that's not helpful. Oh, that makes sense.

[Joanne]

No, it's not. Yeah. No, it's not. It's not helpful. I was just wondering what is the. How many people total their Honda Civics a day?

[Nicole Parker]

A car's length Hope I've been helpful. Bye. Wow. It's the same answer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is all they do. Joanne, I'm sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you sure you called the right number?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Babe, they say the word help so many times.

[Nicole Parker]

I know they do.

[Joanne]

Did she even answer?

[Nicole Parker]

Just get right past it. I think she forgot.

[Joanne]

Which, by the way, it's definitely a powder.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. I don't want to get into this.

[Joanne]

This is definitely a powder about her.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so. So why don't we skip ahead a little bit. Did you hear back from Betty? Did she see the post on the neighbor app?

[Joanne]

I haven't heard Betty T. Or Betty M in days.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I don't.

[Joanne]

I don't have a phone anymore.

[Nicole Parker]

But why don't you just go to the house? You haven't seen him at the house?

[Joanne]

I don't go to that house. That house wasn't left to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they both live in the house together?

[Joanne]

Yeah, they live in the house of my parents.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry. Why again, were you into town?

[Joanne]

I live here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's moved here.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As of a year ago.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, I'm sorry Joan got so mad. I'm so sorry.

[Joanne]

That's why I bought this house.

[Nicole Parker]

Confusing.

[Joanne]

Garage seal door.

[Doug]

Okay, so she's from the south.

[Nicole Parker]

No, that's right. I'm sorry. But I did get confused. But so. So. But you. Even when you were trying to. Well, then why in the world did you were. If you're. If you don't really get along with your sisters, Was this the evil sister you were about to meet or the good one?

[Joanne]

No, the good one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I also ask about Betty T. You say, I can't find your number, but you don't know your sister's phone number.

[Nicole Parker]

Nobody knows anyone numbers anymore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everyone knows a few numbers by heart.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I know a few.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Joanne]

What are the few?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I. I know. Well, my late parents.

[Joanne]

Well, that's not helpful.

[Nicole Parker]

I would make room for something else.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course. My girlfriends.

[Joanne]

Huh? All your girlfriends? You have multiple.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, my girlfriend apostrophe s. Okay.

[Joanne]

You guys invited me here.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. You know what? Sometimes when burnt gets very confused with like a post.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very confused. Made me sound like a doddering old fool.

[Nicole Parker]

I am with you on the fact that this is confusing. But you said that Bert was the one who confused. We respond to confusion differently. You go towards rage. And I.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I can see it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it is true. It is true.

[Joanne]

So your girlfriends and your late parents. But you don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't know mine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't have Any siblings? I'm an only child of only children, so I don't even. Any cousins.

[Joanne]

Do your kids know each other's phone numbers?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, they hardly ever remember their names. They don't even. They call me dude. I mean, like, I don't think they know my name, so. No, we just have. We just have whistles. We have whistles like the family Von Trapped.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, of course, know Joe's number.

[Joanne]

You do?

[Nicole Parker]

Good.

[Joanne]

Well, I don't know both my sister's numbers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, well, the one I can understand not wanting to know.

[Joanne]

I know my number. I know my old number.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that's helpful, you know. How do you like it, Joanne?

[Nicole Parker]

He got you there. Joanne. Sorry. I know, I know.

[Joanne]

My. My. My old school's number seems very unknown.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why would you be calling.

[Nicole Parker]

Clear out that. Clear out those files in your brain. Make some room for your sister.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why would you be calling your own school?

[Nicole Parker]

I know.

[Joanne]

When I used to get sick and I'd have to call and be like, hey, I'm not coming in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You'd.

[Nicole Parker]

Must have happened a lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You wouldn't pretend to be your own parent.

[Joanne]

You would just say, not coming out.

[Nicole Parker]

But was this also because maybe. Were your. Was your relationship with your parents good? I don't know about this house.

[Joanne]

They didn't leave me the house.

[Nicole Parker]

So. Tell me about that. That must have been hard then. What was the dynamic at home?

[Joanne]

Well, I mean, to be honest, a lot of attention had to go to Betty. M sure she was like, starting fires and, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fires?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, exactly. I'm telling you. Maybe it's a twin thing.

[Joanne]

Yeah. And so your twins set fires.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, they do. Oh, boy, do they.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's your favorite thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Love it.

[Joanne]

Have they burned down a house?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think you should say that.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm. I've been told not to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Probably put it on a recording.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They. If. If arson were a legitimate occupation.

[Joanne]

Uhhuh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

These boys.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm telling you, if it were an Olympic sport.

[Joanne]

Wow. But we're safe right now.

[Nicole Parker]

Mom can dream.

[Joanne]

I saw them outside.

[Nicole Parker]

We're fine. You're absolutely fine. No, they did. No big deal. No big deal.

[Joanne]

And so a lot of attention went to her. And so I took care of myself. And I think they sort of resented me because I became success. Successful without their helper as a mystery shopper. And then, I mean, that's. Course I got my sisters their jobs. I don't have to work anymore. I made so much money from that.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow, that's impressive. My goodness.

[Joanne]

I never had to pay for food because you get free meals when you do it at restaurants. So I save money, too. That's how you make money. You make money, you save money.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How many establishments would you hit in a day as a mystery shop?

[Joanne]

Six.

[Nicole Parker]

So three meals, full time job.

[Joanne]

I made sure three of them. Yeah. Were food places.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Joanne]

And then you get to be in charge of it.

[Nicole Parker]

You get to sort of. Did they give you options?

[Joanne]

And you choose honestly, when you get good enough, you can make certain demands.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Okay.

[Joanne]

Yeah. And so, I mean, I never had expenses, and then I was just rolling in the money.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How is it that you get free food as the mystery shopper? If they. If you're a mystery to them, who's giving, who's paying for the food?

[Joanne]

Okay, so the head of the company like it. Let's say you go to an Arby's. I used to go to Arby's so many times.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Joanne]

Always getting called Arby's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A mystery shopper.

[Joanne]

People are not as happy with the roast beef as they used to be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Joanne]

And so they're always wanting to test that. So you get called by the CEO.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To test it by having someone eat it and say if it's good or bad.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess so. Yes. And also because food, you guys, you.

[Joanne]

Know, this, like, food tastes better when there's custom. When the customer service is good. You know what I mean? Like, even if the roast beef sandwich tastes good, but, like, I'm being treated like I feel like I'm in a hostile environment. You know what I mean? Like, suddenly that sandwich. Not as delicious to me.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, okay.

[Joanne]

So you would. You wouldn't understand. You don't. It's like a very.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's why if you go to a fancy restaurant and they're snooty, you're like, this food tastes like snails to me now.

[Nicole Parker]

Exactly. Usually is snails. Yeah.

[Joanne]

So the CEO of Arby's calls you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's his name?

[Joanne]

Andy. Andy Olive.

[Nicole Parker]

That sounds right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Andy what?

[Nicole Parker]

Andy Olive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Olive. Wow.

[Joanne]

Andy Olive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Charming name.

[Joanne]

Yeah. We're still friends, actually. I said, nice.

[Nicole Parker]

You know his number.

[Joanne]

Two vacations together. Not the last four digits. I was just in my head, I knew the first crucial. Yeah. So Andy calls me and he's like, hey, we got issues with the roast beef again.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Joanne]

Can you go? Yeah, like. And I know exactly what it means. He doesn't have to spell it out for me. We've done this mystery shop, okay?

[Nicole Parker]

So he says, like.

[Joanne]

So he's like, we've been getting complaints. The Roast. Some people say it's not hot enough. Some people say it's. It. It doesn't have enough flavor. Some people say it's too much flavor. And Andy and I go, too much flavor. When you're getting.

[Nicole Parker]

Actually, they approach the cashier to tell them, this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This tastes too much.

[Joanne]

They give reviews online, you know, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess people give reviews for food on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they list how many children they have?

[Nicole Parker]

Of course.

[Joanne]

Yeah. That's important information. You always want to know that when you. When you. It makes sense when you get a review. But so. So then Andy will be like. And you know what that means. You know, we get conflicting reviews like that. It means the customer service is off because, see, people can't. They can't decipher, like, whether. How they really feel about the meal because, you know, they're being served by a bunch of assholes.

[Nicole Parker]

So the fact that we're so. I would think that if, like, the same complaint kept coming in over and over and over again, that would be like, oh.

[Joanne]

Production.

[Nicole Parker]

If it's constantly inconsistent all over the place, it's the customer's fault.

[Joanne]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Joanne]

Anybody who's ever run a business knows that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, why did you post on NeighborHap instead of emailing Betty T?

[Nicole Parker]

Another great question.

[Joanne]

Don't know her email by heart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Come on.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, now that's. I mean, that I think you can almost look up sometimes.

[Joanne]

I can look at. I mean, I have a new phone I can look at.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, you could Instagram, you could dm. DM her. What about that?

[Joanne]

Dm or on the app. Yeah, well, but see, listen, you can.

[Nicole Parker]

Still go onto, like, a computer and you can get onto your Instagram or your, you know.

[Joanne]

Oh, I don't have Instagram.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Joanne]

No, I don't. As a mystery shopper, you have to.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I see. It makes sense. People, a profile.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you are a neighborhood. Is Joanne your real name? You don't have to tell us what your real name is if it's not.

[Nicole Parker]

Good question. Isn't Betty. It's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it Betty J?

[Joanne]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Betty K. Is it Jetty?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just keep.

[Joanne]

Keep going.

[Doug]

It's a question mark.

[Joanne]

Keep going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it question mark?

[Doug]

Yeah, Mystery.

[Joanne]

Keep going.

[Doug]

Question mark. Of Mysterians.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it Betty L?

[Joanne]

One more.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it Betty N?

[Nicole Parker]

Why. Why would you skip M and go right to N? Because there was already Betty N. Why are we whispering?

[Joanne]

That was smart. It could be. It could be is all I can say. It could be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It could be Betty Ann. But we don't. To confirm that.

[Joanne]

No okay, that makes sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you don't know her email?

[Joanne]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, is it in your phone?

[Joanne]

I don't have. I'm sure if I. I'm sure if I pull up my.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's take a look and see what it is.

[Nicole Parker]

So now this phone. This is a new phone. You got a new phone in the. In the last two days?

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, if you get a new phone, everything should be in the cloud. Everything should.

[Joanne]

I'm looking at the email. I'm just looking at the email right now.

[Nicole Parker]

But what was not her phone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's Betty, the one she used to. To get on the neighborhood.

[Joanne]

It's Betty Gmail dot com.

[Nicole Parker]

Fair enough.

[Doug]

But wait, I knew it.

[Nicole Parker]

But once you got the phone, you should have been able to call your sister right away.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She doesn't know the number.

[Joanne]

No, no, no, guys.

[Nicole Parker]

But you have it in your iPhone. You would have it as sister, right?

[Joanne]

No, I. You're asking why I haven't called her since. You're asking why I called her since. So you're telling me I get into.

[Nicole Parker]

Me like I was straight up batshit.

[Joanne]

Crazy, so I get into an accident, I almost die?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, because I assume the reason she wasn't calling was not because she couldn't remember the number.

[Nicole Parker]

I get it. I get it. All right. Please go on, Joanne.

[Joanne]

I mean, I can answer this for you.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Yeah. She's trying to, and I feel so bad.

[Joanne]

I'm sorry. No, no, no. I mean, I'm just saying, you know, I got into an accident. I almost died. I. I obviously send her a message. I'm sure she's seen it. Why hasn't she called me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now? You're definitely sure she's seen it?

[Joanne]

She's on there all the time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Joanne]

She loves it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So there's no way she would miss this, especially with her own name in the post.

[Joanne]

Someone would have sent it to her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does she know that your nom de the Mystery Shop is Joanne?

[Joanne]

Yeah, she knows.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so she should have seen this.

[Joanne]

Yeah, she would know. Plus, she was only meeting me that day, so it's not like she would think and you have a good relationship.

[Nicole Parker]

There's not something where, like, she would think that you were actually, like, on purpose ditching her or not?

[Joanne]

No, that would be Betty M. But then.

[Nicole Parker]

Then on the flip side, wouldn't she just. You wouldn't be worried as to, like, where you are if you show up.

[Joanne]

I thought so. That's. That's why I'm not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joanne is saying. Saying she should call me.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. But, yeah, I mean, I wonder if she's, like, gone to hospitals and checked, you know, to see if you're there.

[Joanne]

Oh, that'd be so sweet.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you could go to hospitals and ask.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I guess. This is not a family that calls you.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, this is.

[Joanne]

Well, there's only the one. There's only the one hospital here, right?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, we do have. We have it. We have two hospitals. There's one that is in the back of a restaurant named Justin's.

[Joanne]

Yeah, that's the one I go to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the one you go to?

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Joanne]

Is there another hospital?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Hospital.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

And what streets is that on?

[Nicole Parker]

That one is on Garfield, and I think it's Almond. Oh, no.

[Joanne]

I've driven by there. I've never noticed it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You've never noticed that big building?

[Joanne]

Didn't know it was a hospital, really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It doesn't. The sign is in tiny letters.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess that is true.

[Doug]

You don't like people to know.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, they do say, we don't want to have people coming in and out of here all hours.

[Joanne]

Sure, sure.

[Nicole Parker]

It does have a sign. It's. It's weird because it's an outdoor restroom, but it says girls, Girls, Girls. And so. Yeah, I thought that was a nightclub. That's what you see. That's the most prominent thing you see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's the most neon you'll ever see on any.

[Joanne]

So, yeah, no, I mean, and also, when I drive by play, I mean, I try to stay, you know, focused on the road.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sure. Definitely.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, my goodness. I. So what? You really. What? You what? What made you want to come on here and talk about this post? Are you hoping that Betty is listening to this podcast? Is it to get the word out to her?

[Joanne]

First of all, I want to get the word out about Honda Civics. Okay. I think this is my last chance. Like, I don't think I can get.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're not going to get 17.

[Joanne]

I mean, seven. It's 17. We've got to, like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're all 17 totalings in the space of the year that you've been here in Diggity Falls.

[Joanne]

No, no, no, no. Oh, Some in Palm Springs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is lifetime.

[Joanne]

Yeah. This is lifetime. I've only ever driven a Honda Civic.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Wow. And just all of a sudden, now today's the day. Because now it's like, that's just too much, you know? Yeah.

[Joanne]

Like, you get.

[Nicole Parker]

My first car was a Honda Civic. Isn't that fun?

[Joanne]

But you drive something different now.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I sure do. Yeah.

[Joanne]

Oh, you didn't stick with it?

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't because you know I, I, I wanted to. I had nothing against Honda Civics. It was just, it was a. Well now I'm going to think twice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I think everyone should. Are the Honda Civics. Is that the, the what's the Honda that had that one year everybody's roof got their car hood got stained like the, it like rained and then it gets a permanent stain.

[Nicole Parker]

I actually remember what you're talking.

[Doug]

You want to call Hondo about it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure, sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Try to get another Hondo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, is this Hondo?

[Doug]

Hondo?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, we seem to be regressing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hondo. My name is Burnt and I had a question My name is Burnt and I had a question about the, the Honda. Specifically the, the model. Thank you. Specifically.

[Nicole Parker]

Veering from the script a little.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Specifically the. I have high hopes for this. You can't say Carlin to this.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Specifically the, the one model that had that white stained roof, white stained hood. And you still see them around sometimes. I mean they're obviously well made car apart from that because they're still out on the road.

[Doug]

Bird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's that?

[Doug]

Was it Bird?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was not Bird. I, I wanted to ask you what made that happen?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, we're hoping you could tell us. Well I don't if you can hear me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you hear that? Can't hear squat. Never mind.

[Doug]

One car length.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no way. He want he one car length died. That is so that's on us. Honestly. Car length me twice car length me the third time.

[Joanne]

I can't believe I ever tried car.

[Doug]

Length me a lady.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow, Doug. I had two choices. That was my second choice.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh dear. So Joanne, you just want to make sure that people know Honda Civics maybe are not the best car to be driving. Is that the main source?

[Joanne]

And the customer service as we've seen now is just not great.

[Nicole Parker]

We have proven it's a little strange.

[Joanne]

So no, not a durable car, not a good car car. Stay away from Honda Civics. A lot of people buy that car, you know, for their kids like a starter car.

[Nicole Parker]

So that's even scarier, you know so.

[Joanne]

We really want to just like is.

[Nicole Parker]

There a part of you though that wants to take a look back and say huh, I wonder if I need to do some inside looking on my own self about why I keep on traveling cars. Okay, I didn't finish the question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep. No ask been answered as they say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean I, I admire that sort of self confidence, even self delusion. You could call it. But I, I, I, I do want to ask, apart from telling people about the Honda Civic a warning, is there anything you would like to say to your sisters, Betty T. And Betty M.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I have nothing to say to Betty M. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not surprising, right?

[Joanne]

But Betty T, if you did go to the Justin's hospital and look for me, then obviously. Obviously I misread the situation. Please text me. You know I hate texting you first. I love you. You're my sister. I'm not gonna come to the house obviously because mom and dad didn't leave that to me. And it's just, it's a sore subject. I get very upset when I go there. If you're going to the store today, there's a couple things I need. By the way, if you could. Because I don't have a car right now. If you could.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean this might, this might not come out for a week, so I don't know enough.

[Joanne]

I need almond milk. I need.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean she doesn't have any. She won't have.

[Nicole Parker]

It's true, it's true.

[Joanne]

I need olive oil. I need foil. I'm completely out of foil. You may have some extra. Your house that you could just grab. I don't care. Save us the money. You know, just bring over like at least two or three sheets of that.

[Nicole Parker]

I think she really thinks that Ben's gonna hear this.

[Joanne]

Yeah, she listens to everything, you guys. She listens everything that's a safe Beth, like.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, fair enough.

[Joanne]

Single thing. Thing. And then. Oh, coffee. Coffee.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right. Betty, you heard it here first. I don't know about first and only and only.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know where else you put. Well, Joanne, thank you for sharing your story with us. A harrowing tale indeed.

[Nicole Parker]

I would say. Also take care of yourself. Okay. Be careful out there.

[Joanne]

Oh, thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe try Uber.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Or not in a Honda Civic though.

[Nicole Parker]

Waymo.

[Joanne]

What's Waymo? Demo.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a self driving car.

[Joanne]

Oh, yeah. No, I did not trust that. Oh sure. Behind the wheel, sure. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But, but not necessarily you.

[Joanne]

It could be me. I mean, when I get a new car. I don't understand what you're implying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think you're a bad driver.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I think that's fair.

[Joanne]

Okay, well, we'll let Lisa decide that. So you know, she's the one that works at the dmv.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry, it's been. We are, we are in a little bit of an altered state. State. It is true and I apologize that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you ever seen the movie Altered States?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, not again. Not another movie. We were so close.

[Doug]

I have.

[Joanne]

Of course, I've never seen that movie.

[Nicole Parker]

I wouldn't worry about it. What I would worry about is.

[Joanne]

Fast and the Furious.

[Doug]

I love those.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. That's not surprising. I would worry about. Well, I would focus more on the family aspect of Fast and the Furious. Found family, you know, I think you need some new found family in your life.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That family.

[Nicole Parker]

So super envious. Same. Yeah, but cat food.

[Joanne]

I need cat food.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, Betty, if you heard that she tacked on cat food at the end. And as always, Joanne, we wish you the best of luck.

[Joanne]

Thank you so much. Such a pleasure meeting you guys.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, fun. Same.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Didn't seem like a good time. Oh, we will return with the neighborhood. Listen after this.

[Nicole Parker]

Hi, everybody, it's Jenny. I've got a Lego Minecraft, the Fox Lodge 21178, whatever that means for 15, 193 pieces. It took me exactly that amount of hours to find all those pieces. It's suitable for ages 8 and up, but if you ask me, it's not suitable for anybody because I. I don't get it. I just don't get it. I don't get the Minecraft. My son is starting to resemble the orange guy in the picture. I mean, he's. He's. I'm gonna. I'm just gonna say it. He's got a square head. I don't get it. With his Minecraft people. I don't. I need it out of my house. Help. What is the appeal? Everything looks like it's from the 80s if you were looking at the 80s without contacts, that's what Minecraft looks like to me. And it's a terrible, horrible nightmare scape. So please come get it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. Well, Joanne, Benny in.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know. I feel. I feel bad that I had those almonds because I know I feel a bit dizzy and I feel like maybe. I feel like we were too hard on her. Maybe. I don't know, though, but it's total.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

17 cars and she. She didn't mention what. What other destruction may have occurred.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, she was confusing. I mean, but there's something about me that wanted to help her and felt bad for her because I just feel so burned. You always do this. I try to extend human sympathy for our guests and you undercut it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I think we have a lot of bad people on this show. Do you ever feel that way, that sometimes we talk to people that are not good people.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I think more than that, they're just people that can't be helped, don't want to be helped, and are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's the don't want.

[Nicole Parker]

Essentially just people who don't make our society necessarily better.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's. That sounds like a bad person to me.

[Nicole Parker]

I suppose. I suppose I want Arby's.

[Doug]

I've always wanted to try our baby so much.

[Nicole Parker]

You've. You've never been.

[Doug]

We don't have any around here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. They can't come in because of the one. There's. There's like a roast beef mafia in Dignity Falls. They will not allow any other roast beef based restaurants. And they keep roast beef out of the supermarket, which I think is wild.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I don't. I don't really like that. That's really. It's not fair. And Doug loves roast beef and I know my boys would love it.

[Doug]

I always call it Ro.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Beast.

[Nicole Parker]

I know you did, because the Grinch. Yeah. It is super fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way, the place is called A Whiter Shade of Pale. I don't know why that's the name of it, but it's all roast beef restaurant, including roast beef desserts. It's put magic shell on a roast.

[Nicole Parker]

Slice of roast magic shell. There's a panacotta.

[Doug]

I'm changing the Stratego to guess two.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I like that. Now that I can get into epiphany.

[Doug]

Because they're both like red pieces and blue pieces.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They both have faces on the other side.

[Doug]

Yeah. And it's life size. So what if we have, you know, all the characters of our lives. Oh, and I guess who game.

[Nicole Parker]

That's kind of fun. I like that. That's sweet. Are you gonna just take pictures of everybody and put them up there?

[Doug]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

What? That makes me think you had a different idea, babe. And what was your idea idea? Are you imagining everyone? Everyone had to be present to play and they would actually go physically stick their head in so that people could.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or they just hide behind the squares.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Doug]

Are you. I mean, the easiest would be to just keep these as they are.

[Nicole Parker]

That sounds like the inevitable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think name them after your friends.

[Doug]

Name them after us.

[Nicole Parker]

That sounds like the inevitable next step to celebrity game shows. That they'll do guest a who, you know, and they'll. It'll be some huge, like, set like Hollywood Squares, and everyone will be standing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There hosted by Sam Rockwell or something.

[Nicole Parker]

Sam Rock. I don't know. I don't think he's gonna. He's Gonna ride that monologue for White Lotus for a long time. He's not gonna need to do that, Right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have time for one final post. This is in the In Search of section. This is sent to us by a listener named Dana Wickens.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wiccan.

[Nicole Parker]

Do we know that person?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know. It's a stream.

[Nicole Parker]

Sounds like a witch.

[Doug]

Wiccan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is in the In Search of section. And it's posted by Kama or Kama K A m A Chameleon.

[Doug]

Good one, babe.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, thanks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was a good one. I can sing the first part of that song. Comma, comma, come up.

[Nicole Parker]

That's it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is as far as I could go. I guess I could do Camille.

[Nicole Parker]

I think that was not worth it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I could get to Camille.

[Doug]

Meal.

[Nicole Parker]

No. Oh, but you did switch bird. Sometimes this happens when he's not thinking about it. He switches.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I lost it. I can't do it again.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, there's got to be some way to unlock you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It probably would be more convenient if I could sing.

[Nicole Parker]

I think so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I feel closer to you if you could.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's kind of sad that there's something you could feel closer, but there's something in the way.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no. Don't worry. Worry about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Kama says looking for a pet sitter for two cats and 32 chickens. Now, I'm going to say.

[Nicole Parker]

That'S not pets farming 100.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't have 32 pet chickens.

[Nicole Parker]

That is someone really not being. They're being disingenuous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, the 32 chickens are jumping up on the couch to watch TV.

[Nicole Parker]

They maybe just thought if I tack it on at the end quickly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll focus on the two cats part.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Two cats and 32 chickens. How do the two cats look after the chickens?

[Nicole Parker]

Did I mention the cats are both pregnant with nine babies and you have.

[Doug]

To protect the 32 chickens from the cats. Probably.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, probably. Probably 32 chickens. Pet seating. Give me a break. Yeah, I know it sounded like I said seating. I meant to say pet sitting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Babes.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm trying to own my own Malaprops. Malapropisms. Isn't that the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The word for it if you just mess up board? Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

[Nicole Parker]

Y from importance mean earnest. Isn't that right, Ms. Malaprop? You know, wild always had those fun character names and. And the name was what exactly? They did. The name was the name of the joke that they had through the play.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't real. You know, I'm not very well versed in. In the. The dramas of Oscar Wilde. I don't know much about his place.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know that he had a drama Important to be an earnest is a. Is a laugh riot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I meant dramatic.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, I get it. I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you ever seen that super cut of Alex Trebek saying Jean?

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's chilling.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it as good as the Benedict Cumberbatch penguin?

[Doug]

Penguin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's different.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's different. Okay. Yeah. Penguin is. That's fun. But something about the Jean is.

[Nicole Parker]

Because he just can't say the ra part. He literally just makes it one syllable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He refuses really, because that I suppose is the correct French pronunciation.

[Nicole Parker]

But that does. I don't think so. See, there would still be the re. Still gets pronounced like think of double entendre. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Double entendre.

[Joanne]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

But. So you still made a little noise.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He makes a little noise.

[Nicole Parker]

He does. He doesn't say, I want to hear it. All right, we're gonna genres for four.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A genre category. This genre, this genre of novel.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, that one did of game.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This alliterative genre, this fantasy genre.

[Nicole Parker]

This.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This spooky genre, this popular genre, this six letter genre, this genre about a lowborn scamp. The genre of American local color ballet. The sword and sandal genre. A Japanese cartoon. J A TV genre. 1970s genre of film, the 60s musical genre. This very American genre of music King of this musical genre. Master of this literary genre. Genre leader in this music genre. This literary genre.

[Doug]

20 more seconds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

2014 Billboard listed Sunshine and Whiskey and Day Drinking as hot songs in this genre. Alex, what's country? Country is. That's an expertly edited yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And we should give credit where credit's due. I don't know who put that together. Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've never simply listened to it before. Well, over and over again, there's something that's even weirder.

[Nicole Parker]

It becomes hypnotic and it started becoming Jarn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Spooky Zhang is really. That's the best one. That's a good name for a movie.

[Nicole Parker]

It sure is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you never heard the Legend of Spooky Jar?

[Nicole Parker]

It's a Cajun tale.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought I was like an English are. Cajun makes more sense though, because of the French influence.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. That's right. Wow. Well, this episode was a ride.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

K. Go yourself. Nobody's gonna. Nobody's gonna pet sit your 32 chickens.

[Nicole Parker]

This is the first time our episode has had two separate yourselves. One from me and one from you. Don't you remember I tore blue diamond all right, well, an unexpected episode to be sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think both absolutely deserved. If you liked your ad free versions of our episodes and also access our bonus content, go to c abb world.com Sign up for the Maximus tier and you can get that content and follow us on social media at the Neighborhood. I also want to say Burton Joan, which is our email address.

[Nicole Parker]

I get it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen on Instagram and you can find the actual post that we use in the show there.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep. And until then, goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me Paul F. Kennedy Tompkins and.

[Doug]

Me Nicole Parker and me Brett Morris.

[Nicole Parker]

This episode's guest was played by Mandel Mon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.