Just Put Up A Privacy Fence with Ross Bryant

Summary

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The Neighborhood Listen

Episode: "Just Put Up A Privacy Fence" with Ross Bryant
Air Date: May 19, 2026
Host(s): Paul F. Tompkins (as Burnt Millipede), Nicole Parker (as Joan Pedestrian), Brett Morris (as Doug)
Guest: Ross Bryant (as George)

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Burnt, Joan, and Doug dive into the world of neighborhood social networking by exploring a particularly eventful and confusing post by a resident named George. The core of the episode revolves around neighborhood suspicion, misunderstandings, and a deeper exploration of personal perfectionism, all with the show's signature improvisational, absurdist humor. Along the way, the hosts detour through odd Dignity Falls traditions, the “Lips Together, Sing Apart” Whistle Choir, small-town drama, vocal cord anatomy, and marriage mishaps.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Dignity Falls Updates, Vocal Cord Anatomy, and Spoon Season

[00:57–06:46]

• Seasonal Discussion: The town is in "spruen" season, a fictional period marked by dangerous carnivorous flowers. “They’ll try to eat you…they are flesh-eating plants.” – Joan ([05:38])
• Vocal Cord Rabbit Hole: Joan, a singer, insists on the power of lozenges, while Burnt doubts their efficacy. They riff on whether vocal cords are more like piano strings, drums, or a cricket leg.
• Strange Town Ritual: Discussion about the town’s tradition of shellacking used Kleenex into an unwelcome horrid mound every allergy season.

2. Doug Joins the Whistle Choir

[07:15–14:14]

• Doug's News: Doug announces he’s joined the exclusive men’s Whistle Choir, “Lips Together, Sing Apart.”
  • “They are very exclusionary...a tough group to break into.” – Burnt ([07:33])
  • “You have to clutch your hands together, kind of cup them very earnestly as you whistle.” – Doug ([12:14])
• Rehearsal Secrecy: Choir’s rehearsals happen at secret locations; an NDA is required.
• Whistle Choir Lore: A past incident saw a member excommunicated for a cold sore (“Old VD lips won’t be there.” – Burnt, [15:27]); stories about wild concerts where "every woman took their top off”—parodying town legend.
• Musical Mashups: Imagining a Metallica-Sondheim collaboration (“Could you imagine if they collabed? Metallica and Sondheim?” – Burnt, [14:25])

3. George’s Neighborhood Post—"Suspicious Man Taking Photos"

[29:03–77:13]

Main Event—Interview with George ([29:30–77:13])

• Post Summary: George posts defensively after neighbors accuse him of suspicious behavior for photographing houses—turns out, he’s just seeking inspiration for home improvements.
  • “Believe me, I’m not casing your homes to set up robberies…if you are offended by someone admiring your home, just put up a ‘don't look’ sign or a privacy fence.” – George’s post, read by Burnt ([28:26])
• Streisand Effect Explained: Burnt explains (with George misunderstanding: “You listen to her voice once and it gets in your bones and you just can’t shake it.” – George, [30:29])
• George’s Motive: George insists he’s “just trying to find the best version of this property,” obsessing over his “horrid yellow shutters” – and credits his wife’s color anxiety.
  • “I am not…Internet’s not for me. Writing this note was one of the first times I’ve opened a browser.” – George ([41:55])
• Perfectionism & Family Drama: George’s relentless pursuit of “color harmony” masks deeper issues—he alienated his children and lives with unresolved tension with his wife.
  • “I’m aiming at perfection. We’re aiming at perfection.” – George ([43:08])
  • Revelations that George’s strained attitude led his daughter to stop speaking to him over a harsh critique of a childhood drawing ([63:33]).
• Reiki Healer Twist: George reveals, surprisingly, that he is a certified Reiki healer with a chaotic, tape-based meditation studio (“I purchased a bunch of meditative tapes from an estate sale…haven’t listened to all the tapes.” – George, [48:08])
  • Occasionally, The Cars’ "Just What I Needed" plays during healing sessions.
  • “Reiki healer, heal thyself.” – Joan ([74:05])
• On Neighbor Suspicion: Burnt and Joan press George about why people might find someone taking photos suspicious—he remains highly defensive and insists on the community’s right to public space.
  • “In a community, it is our right to walk around in a common area…can you trespass with your eyes?” – George ([60:39])
• Classic Quote:
  • Burnt: “For a guy who’s worried about his heart health, you have been apoplectic on this podcast no less than I’m going to say, 50 times.” ([74:34])

Notable Comedic Moments & Quotes

• Joan (Re: defensive suspects): “You really have the energy of a fun standup, George.” ([30:51])
• Color Harmony Sing-along: The whole group randomly harmonizes “Color harmony, color harmony…” ([41:10])
• Joan’s Realization: “You don't have to be like anyone else…just get a paint color that is different and see where that takes you.” ([76:30])
• On Perfectionism:
  • Burnt: “Don’t make perfect the enemy of good.” ([61:45])
  • George: “That’s good. Not perfect.” ([62:54])

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4. Other Posts and Neighborhood Oddities

[25:04–28:01 / 84:06–90:44]

• Helen’s Candleholder Post: A neighbor sells odd patina candle holders after her grandkids show an unnerving fascination with them.
• Husband for a Day Post: The hosts riff on a local’s sketchy “husband for a day” handyman post, suspecting not-so-innocent intent.
  • “This guy wants to have sex with people’s wives.” – Burnt ([85:26])
• Dating App Rant: Joan laments men’s inept or intentionally bad dating profile photos, the advantage men seem to have, and the awkwardness of group shots ([86:18–87:02]).
• Doug’s Choir Gauntlet: Doug must endure a strange “whistle gauntlet” as penance for breaking choir secrecy ([82:57–83:16]).

5. Closing Themes and Lighthearted Whistle/Music Lore

[89:31–91:38]

• Whistle renditions of Colonel Bogey March (and playground parodies: “Bobos make your feet feel fine!”)
• Nostalgic asides about the “Got Milk–Aaron Burr” peanut butter commercial.
• Closing thoughts that, despite attempting to help, George might just be unreachable—“lost cause, we went in circles a lot.” – Joan ([72:32])

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Most Memorable Quotes

• “They did go viral for Enter the Sandman. Slight twist on the original.” – Doug ([13:52])
• “Who peeps the peepers? That’s what I’m asking.” – George ([34:36])
• “Can you trespass with your eyes?” – Burnt ([60:51])
• “You have been apoplectic on this podcast no less than…50 times.” – Burnt ([74:34])
• “Reiki healer, heal thyself.” – Joan ([74:05])
• “Don’t make perfect the enemy of good.” – Burnt ([61:45])
• “You are an original problem.” – Joan to George ([76:09])

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Notable Timestamps

• Doug's Whistle Choir Discussion: [07:15–14:14]
• George's Post Read-Aloud: [28:03–29:29]
• George Interview: [29:30–77:13]
• "Color Harmony" Running Gag: [41:04, 41:10, 41:13, 41:19, scattered throughout segment]
• Family Backstory & Alienation: [62:05–65:10]
• Neighbor Rights and Privacy Fence Debate: [55:07–61:39]
• Reiki Studio & Tape Oddities: [47:00–51:17]
• Aaron Burr Commercial Tangent: [73:05–80:02]
• “Husband for a Day” Post: [84:06–87:59]

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Tone & Style

• Language: Warm, irreverent, quick-witted, sometimes chaotic. The improvisational style leads to playful tangents and bursts of absurdity.
• Overall Energy: Spirited, with strong deadpan, delighted idiocy, and good-natured exasperation, especially in the face of George’s circular logic and stubbornness.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a perfect snapshot of the show’s off-the-wall tone and blend of small-town satire and character-driven comedy. It’s less about problem-solving and more about exposing the foibles of suburban life, the limits of neighborhood vigilance, and the all-too-human chase for illusory “perfection.” Personal histories, emotional baggage, and town mysteriousness collide in a way only Neighborhood Listen delivers, all while never letting the laughs drop for more than a moment.

If you skipped this week: George’s saga will leave you pondering if it’s ever possible to just appreciate a neighbor’s landscaping without a dose of suspicion...or at the very least, whether your town also has a wall fountain in its local Reiki clinic.

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Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some

[Paul F. Tompkins]

streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listen. Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. In Dignity Fall, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in. To the Neighborhood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listen. Welcome.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To the Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its many residents, two of whom are seated across from each other. And I am talking to you right now as one of them. My name is Burnt Miapede. I'm the pharmacist in chief of the Dignity Falls, missy. Dignity Falls, premier pharmacy and, dare I say, America's.

[Nicole Parker]

You dared to do it. You did do it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where Eagles dare. I also, as always, is.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Do you need some water? Are you okay? That was a real big wind up. Bert. Are you okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. I inhaled some saliva.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm so sorry. Okay. We are entering the season of spruen here in Dignity Falls, which, as we all know, is a sort of in between. I'm so sorry. Here, have this lozenge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's really terrible. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Have a lozenge. I make them at home now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I don't think the lozenge is good. Lozenge?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, what, El.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because it's in my lungs. You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

That's the problem. But this is also. It's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think more moisture is the issue. I don't think that's the solution.

[Nicole Parker]

If your throat is bothering you, then you could. You still need some. You still need some comfort from the lozenge. You still need a lubrication of sorts. Are you listening to me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I am listening to you. I'm dismissing what you're saying.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you know what? I appreciate the honesty. I appreciate the honesty, but dismissing? All I'm bringing up is a lion. There's no way to dismiss it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not. I'm not a doctor. I'm Just a pharmacist, but I do know a little bit. And the lozenge is not going to do anything. You're saying it's a placebo? Sort of. It's a comfort thing?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I believe that it's real. Listen, this is probably because I'm a singer. Hi, I'm Joan Pedestrian and I'm the top, top realtor here in Dignity Falls. And the top local actress.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Dare I say, the premier local actress in the country.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dare I double dog dare you to say it.

[Nicole Parker]

Where Eagles. Double. Double dog. Oh, almost. Oh, wasn't that sad? So anyways, I think that lozenges do work. I really.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I think they do work. They don't work in this particular instance,

[Nicole Parker]

but a cough is still going to irritate your throat and you need to treat your throat as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is, but I.

[Nicole Parker]

Because you. What. You know what's happening when you cough, right?

[George]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You make a fool out of you and me.

[Nicole Parker]

A and B, the cords are slamming together. You know, your vocal cords, they are slamming together, together. It's violent. A cough is very violent on those little chords.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that the best we could do is chords?

[Nicole Parker]

What would you call them?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

What do you want to call them?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it's not the name. It's just that the system.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, how would you have a voice?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't like having some sort of a piano system in my throat.

[Nicole Parker]

Piano system. I wouldn't call it chord. More like two drums almost that. That. That undulate as they hit together.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it just. You only have two vocals.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what it's like? It's like a cricket. Okay, I'm sorry. Every time I keep making my point, I get further across the kitchen island and I'm pointing my finger at him and I don't even know why I'm doing that, but it's because you said. You dismissed what I said earlier. So now I think I have to really get your attention a lot. That's. That's what I'm trying to do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, I deserve that.

[Nicole Parker]

So anyways, it's like a cricket. You know how cricket rubs. Rubs their leg?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And there's that vibration and that sound. It's like the two chords are coming together and there's vibration and there sound.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I always imagined we just had like a full set down there.

[Nicole Parker]

A full set of what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Chords.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, are you picturing, like piano keys?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not picturing piano keys.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm picturing piano strings.

[Nicole Parker]

Piano strings. Okay. You thought we had the other. But there's a harp stretched across our larynx.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, that's what I thought.

[Nicole Parker]

And there's a little cartoon, I don't know, bug that's just running across them. I just thought that might be more fun in your.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In your throat. No, I don't want any bugs in there.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you know, you say, I caught a bug. It's real, Joan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You got me.

[Nicole Parker]

Anyways, it's just two little guys down there. And you know what's crazy? People might think that they're pair. They're. They're up and down vertically in our throat, but they're actually perpendicular to our larynx. They're. They're stretched across our throat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is making less and less sense to me. And it's less and less appealing.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, you should look it up or not your own risk. What cords look like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I watched the pictures.

[Nicole Parker]

Everyone says you look like a vagina. Okay, let's all get over it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if I look them up and they don't at all? And then you.

[Nicole Parker]

Then you have not had all the pictures you think you've had.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I mean, I'm not. I can't look at the same time.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, Jodie, I don't know what to tell you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fully short circuited.

[Nicole Parker]

It's possible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't want to get into it. Anyways, it's spoon season and it's. It's. It's in between May and June and it's when we have these carnivorous flowers that are gorgeous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're so beautiful.

[Nicole Parker]

But they will. They'll try to eat you. Yeah, they're very dangerous. Yeah, they are flesh eating plants.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We did try to figure out, Gabby and I, is there a way she could have a bouquet of them for the wedding?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that seems like a terrible idea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we arrived and then you're gonna

[Nicole Parker]

toss it to a bunch of bachelorettes and they could get injured as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We ultimately real. There's no safe way to do it.

[Nicole Parker]

There's no safe way to do it. Everybody would be coughing and sneezing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't get near them to take them out of the ground.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't. They don't let you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Although they try to lure you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They sort of take charge of the. Of the town.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, they do?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And you know, it gets worse every season. It gets terrible. And the mound of Kleenex, which always happens, everyone throws their Kleenex into the middle of the town square. We shellack it and then it's taken to other cities.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And nobody wants it.

[Nicole Parker]

No one wants it this year once

[Paul F. Tompkins]

they found out what it was. That was our mistake.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was the. The city council, whatever, telling people what it was?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because when it's shellacked, it looks kind

[Nicole Parker]

of pretty from afar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It does. And. And you. You and you, when you would look at it and you assume, well, it can't be actually real.

[Nicole Parker]

No. Who would do that? That's sick. That's disgusting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sick and disgusting. Why do we do it? We shouldn't do that.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just like all of our traditions, I never question started. We even had a man die in there. Remember the guy who was like, look at me. And then he ran in and he got stuck like he was in a jello mold and they could never extract him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Look at me. He cried.

[Nicole Parker]

Something like that. That was his TikTok thing that he.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And of course, recording in another room in our home is my husband, Doug. How are you doing, babe?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that whistle can only give you a thing. Doug is being confusing. Doug. What?

[Nicole Parker]

He's nothing if not consistent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you in a birdhouse?

[Doug]

No, I'm in a. I'm building a whistle chamber. I joined the men's whistle choir in town.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Doug]

I did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They let you in? They let. They are very. They're very exclusionary. They're very exclusionary. Like that. That. That is a tough. A tough group to break into.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. They're called Lips Together, Sing Apart. And they. And they are very exclusionary. I try. I'm not a good whistler, so. But I just. I. They have. They put on such fabulous shows. I really.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My God. They're incredible.

[Nicole Parker]

They're incredible. Honestly, people come from all over.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've never cried at a live show before.

[Nicole Parker]

You've never cried in live show before? You only cry by surprise. Usually tears.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I only cry being surprised. I guess I was surprised by how beautiful the was.

[Nicole Parker]

That still was. Yeah. And, babe, you were. I did not. I knew he was auditioning, but I didn't know that you got in.

[Doug]

I got in.

[Nicole Parker]

That's amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Congratulations.

[Nicole Parker]

What? This means you did get in.

[Doug]

David Knight from Rhubarb Caravan, he's in it, so he. He kind of taught us something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is he the one that wears the mask?

[Doug]

Well, yeah, he's the lead singer. Lead harmonica.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He is lead harmonica.

[Nicole Parker]

No, he always wears the mask during the whistle choir.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug. He wears a mask for Rhubar Caravan as well.

[Doug]

Well, it depends on what season it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

No, I meant what the gig calls for. You know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Doug]

We adapt the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The. The lead singer, David Knight, apparently to

[Nicole Parker]

remind everyone Ruban is Doug's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. The lead whistler of the Lips Together. Sing Apart, was this mysterious figure who would wear a full Phantom of the Opera mask. Not a half one.

[Nicole Parker]

No, full one. But the lips are in the shape of.

[Doug]

The lips look like when Garfield's family sings Christmas carols.

[Nicole Parker]

Garfield's family.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When Garfield sings. Who's in Garfield's family, first of all?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, there's Odie. There's the spider. There's Pookie, the teddy bear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Odie's not related to Garfield. None of these people are related to Garf. Feel I forgot about the spider right away.

[Nicole Parker]

Spider plays a huge part. And. And the girlfriend who. He just says they have the worst relationship in the world. Honestly, I thought you meant the Charlie Brown Choir. That's who I think of Lulu. That's what I think of. When did they sing Christmas carols, babe?

[Doug]

And there's a Garfield Christmas special.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sure. And that's when we're introduced to Garfield's

[Nicole Parker]

family and they're singing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Extended or immediate?

[Doug]

No, there's a grandma that pets him on her lap.

[Nicole Parker]

There is?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. She's also.

[Doug]

She's kind of a cool gal. No, I think she's a neat, neat gal.

[Nicole Parker]

She's a neat, neat gal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So. So, okay, so these. These various entities are not related. Blood relatives of Garfield?

[Nicole Parker]

No. None of them could be. They're all different species, practically.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I need to hear from Doug.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Sorry, I didn't. I didn't mean to answer. And cover for him.

[Doug]

No, they're not all cats. Is that what you're asking? Yeah, but Garfield's not your normal cat.

[Nicole Parker]

One of them's a cat. We're talking about the people I just named.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Only one was a cat in that list.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. You didn't even put in normal.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, nervous. I forgot about normal. That is very cute.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Also not related to Garfield.

[Nicole Parker]

So. So you're doing this to practice. So.

[George]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

This is amazing.

[Doug]

Practice and also maybe hold rehearsals one of these days. Oh, if I can bring them over.

[Nicole Parker]

That's interesting, because they always.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would they deign to come to your home.

[Nicole Parker]

They always rehearse in an undisclosed location. And it changes every time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

So I couldn't even know if they were going to be in there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They reveal it afterwards on Instagram.

[Nicole Parker]

They drop pins later.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Graham.

[Nicole Parker]

Like Taylor Swift.

[Doug]

A lot of it's just still the same rehearsal studio, but they jump units.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think you're supposed to say that. I'm gonna get in trouble. I heard you had to sign a very exclusive NDA for this. Did you?

[Doug]

Well, I mean, yeah, but it's not. This is just a podcast.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, he sounds like one of our guests.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dismissive.

[Nicole Parker]

Who commits murder. You know, commits murder and talks about it. It's like, is this gonna go out to everybody?

[Doug]

I'll scramble it in the edit.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, great. This is very exciting. Can you. So. So can you give us a little more of what you're working on? Are you warming up in there?

[Doug]

Yeah, I'm working on a. Well, I'm building like, it's gonna be all over the place.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. What does it look like? What constitutes mirrors?

[Doug]

Yeah, so it's.

[Nicole Parker]

I would think that's great for acoustics.

[George]

It's.

[Doug]

The most reflective surface you can get is a mirror. Yeah. I mean, think about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Vocally, maybe visually it is, but what do you want?

[Doug]

A pool.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Doug]

Placid reflecting pool. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're not gonna fly to Washington, D.C.

[Doug]

those will be incredibly reverberant, and you'll be able to see each other.

[Nicole Parker]

My.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My.

[Nicole Parker]

Reverberant. It'll be positively reverberant.

[Doug]

And part of the whistle choir training is not just the whistle technique.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Doug]

You have to clutch your hands together, kind of cup them very earnestly as you whistle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is true.

[Doug]

And so I'm just. I have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's their signature. To work. Their signature move. Yeah. Because it has to be just right. It's like a salute. Yeah, it has to be. That has to be the very. Right, Ang.

[George]

Very.

[Nicole Parker]

Was that part of the audition?

[Doug]

Yeah. It's like a surgeon you cannot shake.

[Nicole Parker]

It kind of makes them look like a cult. But anyway.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They also say they scrub in before a concert.

[Nicole Parker]

They do. They're big on hygiene also. Then they. Oh, they're divas. About germs getting sick, you know, like, that's why they're never out. It's like, oh, you sneeze. And they're like, bye. And they just think, I didn't know that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. One time.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. You better be careful. Wear a mask if you want to rehearse with them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remember one time, one of them got a cold sore and he was excommunicated. They would not let him back in the group after the cold sore healed. They said it's affecting your whistling.

[Doug]

Well, I mean.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

A lot of focus is on your lips.

[Nicole Parker]

It's all. It's all. It's all the lips, I think.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

It's all the lips.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you remember that one? That one year they did. They ended with a big wolf whistle.

[Nicole Parker]

I do remember that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it was so powerful. Like, they did it in harmony. It was so powerful, every woman in the audience took their top off.

[Doug]

Now, babe, that's just part of the job.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right. That was a one time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're not gonna do it again, are they?

[Nicole Parker]

Expect. Well, listen, their fans are. I don't want to say crazy, but, like, they are rabbit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're insane.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll say Rabbit.

[Doug]

There's mosh pits.

[Nicole Parker]

So there are mosh pits. They did go viral for. For Enter the Sandman. They did a whole.

[Doug]

Enter the Sandman.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Entered the Sandman.

[Doug]

Slightly. Slight twist on the original.

[Nicole Parker]

I think I just. Guys, I think that was on me. I think that's my mistake. Let's just call it what it is. Yeah. I started to say Enter Sandy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was your first clue?

[Nicole Parker]

I added to the.

[Doug]

We're clear on the difference.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? For someone who only knows musical theater, okay, I think it's impressive. When I know anything that's not written

[Paul F. Tompkins]

by Sondheim, it honestly is.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why? Could you imagine if they collabed? Metallica and Sondheim?

[Nicole Parker]

To be honest, I think it would have rocked. I think he would have loved it. I think he would have been all about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think if the one guy came up to Sondheim and said, I

[Nicole Parker]

have a new lyric now, by the one guy, you mean James Hetfield? Oh, do I know his name? Look at that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But that's actually Lars Ulrich.

[Nicole Parker]

What else do you want from me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's not who I meant. Keep going.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Anybody else, really? You were thinking of the one that I didn't name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. There's two more guys.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll get back to you on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe three more. Wasn't somebody kicked out at some point?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, someone died.

[Doug]

Someone kicked out. Someone died. Someone died, you know, but they're not the same.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were not kicked out by death.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what I'm talking about. I know a lot more than you think. I know about Metallicity.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, Joan, you're not on trial.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I feel like I am. I feel like I'm the guy who got excommunicated from Lips Together, Sing Apart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's extreme.

[Nicole Parker]

Anyways, Joan, that's extreme. They publicly shamed him in the town square.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They did. But they do to this day.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, they do. He's still.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every time they announce a concert, they mention it by name and say, and

[Nicole Parker]

don't worry but they make him come out every time he has to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Old VD lips won't be there.

[Nicole Parker]

Speaking of musicals, I wanted to say that. Okay, go on. What do you want to say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There was a hanging chat. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry about the hanging chat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The. The one guy, maybe he's Kirk Hammett.

[Nicole Parker]

That's the name. That's the name. That's correct, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. If he went up to Stephen Sondheim and said Avenue Lyric.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he's got an impression, too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Lifestyle determines my death style.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that really what he sounds like?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you think? What do you think Stephen S. Would have made?

[Doug]

Not the lyricist, by the way. But not the lyricist could present him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But, you know, they were. They were all. This is after therapy. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, then Sondheim would go, yeah, I. I always thought that maybe that we should do something about life. Life and death. Always life and death. I'm always writing about life and death. I try to always write about life and death. That's what he would say. And I think they would get on great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very diplomatic.

[Nicole Parker]

I never want. I know it. Ever explained what that weird bump was on his forehead?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sondheim. Yeah, he had a weird bump.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How big?

[Nicole Parker]

No one ever talked about goose egg.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

100%. I'm gonna show you later. It's wild.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I was worried about him. No one addressed it when I was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When I was a kid. There was a friend of mine. I grew up on Medium, Italy, where there were a lot of Catholics, and my friend.

[Nicole Parker]

Were they medium Catholic?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? They were.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They went to church. They went to church on Christmas and

[Nicole Parker]

Easter,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

and one time I went with him to Mass. And there was. There's some. There's a position at the church called a sextant.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I've heard of that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or sexton.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought one of those was a maritime tool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is. Sexton is a maritime tool.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sexton, I think, is what the. What the. The position is called.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And this gentleman had a big, like, just big lump on his neck forever. And it's like. I guess that's the thing you can live with.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess so. As long as it doesn't mess up all the piano strings in your throat.

[Doug]

Anyway, by the way, it looks like a sarlacc.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope you're pleased with yourself. What did you say?

[Doug]

I think they look like a sarlacca.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he looked them up. He looked them up. Yeah, but there's no, like, tendrils with the chords.

[Doug]

Well, that's the hd. That's the. That's the what? That's the special edition.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everything's HD now.

[Nicole Parker]

Speaking.

[Doug]

The original Sarlach.

[Nicole Parker]

Sarlach.

[Doug]

That's how you're really supposed to pronounce it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Isn't it fun when you watch a movie in HD that wasn't in HD before?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then you can see where everybody's makeup ends. People with their very pale throats.

[Nicole Parker]

I want to ask you two questions, but I just wanted to finish what I was going to say. Now my hanging chat is that I'm writing a new musical.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is great news.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you. And it's musical version of Nancy Meyer's Something's Got to Give. Because you remember I went on that Nancy Myers kitchen tour a couple years ago.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I do remember that.

[Nicole Parker]

And it was just ladies in white kitchens talking. And I was like, where has this been all my life?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How many kitchens total?

[Nicole Parker]

There were seven.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Seven kitchens.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How much time do you get to spend in each kitchen?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, not enough. You get a whole afternoon. A chef comes in and makes you food.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, good.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, because it's copious amounts of wine drinking. So they have to fill. They have to. We have. We have to have some sort of balance.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And then one of them is. What is a one on a movie set actually fun? It was, but it was sort of like, oh, well, this one fake kitchen. Yeah. And it didn't have the same feel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because you want to be in the real kitchen.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From the movies. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And so obviously the set. Easy one set musical. It just all takes place in the kitchen. And I just thought, you know, this music, this. This movie really sings. And I was. I was thinking of, you know, because Something's Got to Give is very musical.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, this is the one with Diane Keaton, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

Keanu Reeves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[George]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the one I'm thinking of. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's a fun one. And the title just sings. And I was walking around the house going, Something's Gotta Give. You know, like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know, there's already a song called Something's Gotta Give.

[Nicole Parker]

There is. Oh, no, this is bad news. Because what I was gonna say is

[Paul F. Tompkins]

an irresistible for such as beats an old immovable object.

[Nicole Parker]

Such as you. Did you sing this in medium? Catholic Church. No, it sounds like a Catholic Church.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's just the way I sing. I know, I know now that I can sing. I have to sing everything the same way. Yeah. Or I can't sing.

[Nicole Parker]

That's bad news. Because if that's already a. So I was going to say that what I realized is the tune's already a tune. It's Blame it on the Rain. Yes. Million.

[Doug]

I was going to say.

[Nicole Parker]

And I was so upset about that. Do you remember Millie Vanilli? I do remember when that happened?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do.

[Nicole Parker]

What is Millie Vanilli?

[Doug]

That's really unfair, babe.

[Nicole Parker]

Hang on, I need to hear this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Milli Vanilli means nothing.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Well, certainly not now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's true.

[Nicole Parker]

What were you going to say, babe? Why was it unfair?

[Doug]

Well, just because everyone lip syncs these days, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, yeah, but they lip sync to their own music.

[Nicole Parker]

They do. They recorded it at some point.

[Doug]

They actually did remember that song, like, I've Got the Power.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've Got the Power.

[Doug]

It came out that that was a different singer than the. Than the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was that also the same guy? The German guy that.

[Doug]

That really sang it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, the guy who keeps putting these.

[Nicole Parker]

I've Got the Power.

[Doug]

Bruce Springsteen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Springsteen in.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Springstein.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The German procedural. You are. Springsteen. You're off the case. You're being a cowboy. Springsteen. Give me your badge. Unt your gun.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, now, I don't know where we've gotten to, but I just want to ask you really quickly, burnt your wife? Nope, not yet. Your soon to be wife, Your fiance? Gabby. I'm just so excited for a wedding. But it can't happen until she's done dealing with the incident. The impending potential incident. And you said last week that it was looking good. She's on the front lines. Whatever mysterious incident is about to happen to our city.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, as listeners may recall, some years ago, way before this podcast, there was something that happened here called the incident.

[Nicole Parker]

We never talk about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We don't really talk about it. It was very traumatic and had lasting repercussions to this day. Yes, and. But we. We did feel like we were. Surely this couldn't happen again, but now it might be happening again. We all promise.

[Nicole Parker]

We did. We promised.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, but we didn't have any way to back that up.

[Nicole Parker]

No, there was no. We didn't sign anything. We didn't take an oath.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We just sort of agreed. But that's not. That's not a protection against anything.

[Nicole Parker]

So what. What's happening?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Except sex, if you agree not to have it. So she and the other smoke jumpers, they have sort of done a strategic retreat.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, really? This seems like not a good time to take a retreat. Well, she's on the front line, so now she's gone to what, like a Spa somewhere in the hills.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, not a vacation retreat in a tactical sense. Not in a.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, my mind goes to fun retreat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, of course it does. We all like to have fun.

[Nicole Parker]

I love to. Okay, so they've had to pull back a little bit so she's closer to

[Paul F. Tompkins]

home, which is nice.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you. Have you seen her?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Oh, my gosh. Just via FaceTime. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. As always, we don't. We don't save enough time to talk about this because this seems more important than anything. It's definitely more important than whistling, and it's more important than that German television show over here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I shouldn't be talking about it at all.

[Nicole Parker]

You're not taking strays, babe. I'm just saying, don't you think that an impending, like, huge event is more important?

[Doug]

Yeah. Don't you think whistling might make you feel better in the lows?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In trouble times? We do need whistlers. They're important, too.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you say in times and lows of lows?

[Doug]

In the lowest of lows?

[Nicole Parker]

In the lowest of lows.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you think is the lowest lows that exists? The store? Is there one lower than sea level?

[Doug]

There's one in the Marianas Trench, maybe

[Paul F. Tompkins]

that would be like. It sunk.

[Doug]

That would be the lowest.

[Nicole Parker]

He just said. He first said there's one in the Mario Trench, and then he said. I mean, that would be.

[Doug]

Yeah, we don't know. We've never been.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, we can't argue with that. It would be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You never. James Cameron would tell us.

[Nicole Parker]

He's gonna search for that lows.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[George]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, how long we recording? I think we've been talking.

[Nicole Parker]

Too long. Way too long. I don't even want to know.

[Doug]

23.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's actually.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We always ask around the same time.

[Nicole Parker]

It is. It's really. We always.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Strange internal clock.

[Nicole Parker]

22. 23 minutes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Sometime 24.

[Nicole Parker]

We've been doing it for a long time, I guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Beep.

[Nicole Parker]

What's happening?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm singing the theme song to 24.

[George]

You can.

[Nicole Parker]

That sound like Millie Vanilli. All right. We'll be back, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll be back when they did with Listen Returns.

[Helen]

Hello, this is Helen. I have vintage handcrafted candle holders in durable clay with patina finish. $140. These pieces embody the spirit of ancient Greek art. Each piece is crafted both from durable clay and given a stunning patina finish that adds a touch of rustic sophistication to the classical artist. Each candle holder is 16 inches in height with a base that measures 4 by 3 inches. Here's the thing. My grandchildren are now teenagers and I love them dearly. But when they come to stay with me, which I so appreciate, they cannot leave these candle holders alone or they can't stop touching them. They can't stop looking at them. They can't stop making comments about them. The boy and the girl. They just are obsessed. They disappear. Sometimes. Sometimes I find them in their bed and, you know, and they've been cleaned. They've been cleaned, they've been bleached. Just. Just to be very clear. And I don't want to see my darling, dear grandchildren as some sorts of sexual monsters. So I need them out of here. Also, I need the cash.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome back to the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, here's what cords look like. I told you, it's crazy looking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It looks like an alien.

[Nicole Parker]

It does look like an alien.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's very alien.

[Nicole Parker]

But again, you have to remember this looks like they're up and down, but they're like this across your across.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, then why would they take the picture?

[Nicole Parker]

Because a camera goes down your throat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They should turn it sideways. I can do that in my phone.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think you understand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They can turn the picture sideways is what I'm saying.

[Nicole Parker]

They could, but that's still. You're still looking at it Head On. You're not. Oh, please don't bring that up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry.

[Doug]

It's just involuntary.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's involuntary commentary.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, I don't want to talk about Head On.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, one of the. One of the most successful campaigns, they just repeated the same phrase over and over again for as long as they could.

[Nicole Parker]

Indoctrination.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

For as long as they could afford

[Nicole Parker]

to stop saying it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I think they. It worked. They sold a ton of Head on, applied a forehead.

[Nicole Parker]

Haven't thought about it in years.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're out of the business.

[Doug]

What does it do again?

[Nicole Parker]

It's supposed to calm. It's like. It's like instead of taking a Tylenol, you. You rub it. A stick on your forehead, directly to it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In fact, you apply it directly before.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, it's right there in the commercial.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we have a guest, Joan, as we always do, what we do every week, folks, is we scour the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for some interesting neighbors to talk to. Maybe somebody wants to amplify. Maybe somebody wants their message amplified. Maybe the. They have a question. Maybe they're confused about something. Maybe they have something to answer for.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, a lot of times, most of

[Paul F. Tompkins]

the time, and if you have a post you see that you think we should talk about, why don't you screenshot it and send it to [e-mail] this one submitted by Jessica Noel. Noel. Jessica Noel.

[Nicole Parker]

Thanks Jessica Noll.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

N O L L. Not K. N O L. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, like your Noll, babe. Remember he built Hobbiton? He. He built. He had the. No.

[Doug]

Yeah, it's covered in. In.

[Nicole Parker]

Remember it was plants now. It was when I think. When I shaved Noel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When I think of Noel, the first thing I think of is hobbits. Definitely. As someone who grew up in 20th century America, first thought hobbits. Here is our post. This is in the crime and safety section, posted by George. The headline Suspicious man taking photos. George goes on. Scruffy looking older man was looking at people's houses and it looked like he sometimes took a photo. Wait a minute. That was me. My doctor said I needed to walk. Also, my sweet wife wants to replace our horrid yellow shutters and make improvements to our yard. So I snap a few photos of those I think she might like as well as yard gardens I admire. Believe me, I'm not casing your homes to set up robberies. I am staying on the road and not trespassing. I not going to steal anything or attack anyone. So please don't call the police or shoot me. After seeing past posts here with scores of comments, I thought I should say something. Anyway, if you are offended by someone admiring your home, just put up a don't look sign or a privacy fence.

[Nicole Parker]

Privacy fence.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have questions already and here to talk more about that is George.

[George]

George.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome to the neighborhood list, George.

[George]

Happy to be here. I think I've made my case as clearly as I could make it in my post. But.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, since.

[George]

Since the whole town has decided to put me in. In the pillory, as if I had a. As if I had a cold sore on my. My lips.

[Nicole Parker]

Why? Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, just so people know, we don't have a pillory here in Dignity Falls. It was taken down in 1976. We thought it looked bad for the bicentennials.

[George]

Yes. But there is. There is still the pillory plaque in the town square.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There is.

[Nicole Parker]

Unfortunately, there is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which really praises it.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[George]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The plaque.

[George]

It's a sort of historical interpretation plaque that is in the shape of. In a fully functioning pillory.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So we do sort of.

[Nicole Parker]

It's 3D. I mean like it's a pup. It's not a flat plaque.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you can't get people in there.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's one solid piece.

[George]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, George, let me ask you something. Have you ever heard of something called the Streisand effect?

[George]

Yes. You listen to her voice once and it gets in your bones and you just can't shake it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, this is. This is another one that's not medical.

[Nicole Parker]

But I feel you on that one, George.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, you know the Streisand effect? Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I thought I did, but now I'm not sure. You please tell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Explain it.

[George]

My doctor already has me walking laps around the neighborhood. I better tell my doctor about this Streisand effect because something tells me I got it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy, she's got. You got the energy of a fun standup, George.

[George]

From your mouth to God's ear. I've tried a couple of times, but stage fright gets the better of me before I even step on stage.

[Nicole Parker]

He's got the rhythm. I think this is something to talk about later, but please explain the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, the Streisand effect. Somebody took pictures of Barbra Streisand's house. She did not like this, and so she started talking about it, which caused the pictures to be shown again and again and again and again. So the story got picked up, and then in wanting privacy, she called attention to it and thus blew the story up.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. And then made a whole coffee table book that had everything in her house. Entire pictures, the entire thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, if you can't beat them, join them. So, George, I feel like you saying over and over again that you are not doing anything suspicious.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's putting more suspicion on you.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. Like an accusation is a confession. Right. That kind of thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[George]

Can I introduce you to a legal concept called damned if you do, damned if you don't. Because you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because.

[Nicole Parker]

Nice to meet you.

[George]

Yeah, I. Pleasure to meet you. And. Yeah. Well, I take my laps around the neighborhood for my ticker, and everybody apparently sees me as a peeper, as a threat.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, you really call your heart your ticker? That's. I've never. I haven't met anyone that does that. It's kind of old fashioned.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is kind of old fashioned. Do you agree?

[George]

Call me an old fashioned fish.

[Nicole Parker]

Really quickly. First of all, that post just had such a twist in it because I was really surprised when he said, hey, it's me, you know?

[George]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

You really got me with that.

[George]

Well, I listen to a lot of the moth. I listen to the moth stories. I don't like to I like to begin in medias res with a little twist. Like there I was running down the street covered in sweat.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[George]

The blood there on my hands. You might be wondering how I got here. And then I go back to.

[Nicole Parker]

Boy, that did something to me inside when you did that. Neil might be wondering I didn't like it. Might be wondering I didn't like it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now I know that the moth doesn't allow notes. Do they allow sound effects? Because a record scratch would go along.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it really would.

[George]

I do think they're limiting themselves by just having it be a solo storytelling affair. Oh, if they could have a soundboard,

[Nicole Parker]

maybe you could do the sound effect yourself. That would work, right? That's allowed, I guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's allowed, yeah. Imagine Michael Winslow, real air bud type of situation.

[Nicole Parker]

Amazing. Oh, that'd be incredible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Michael Winslow, yes.

[Doug]

Telling us chilling story, breaking into the Purple haze riff.

[George]

Oh, yeah, he's got that distortion pedal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I can't do it.

[George]

I know Michael Winslow.

[Nicole Parker]

I. Well, no one is who is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You are more of a Paul Lind, if I may.

[George]

Oh, you dear sweet man.

[Nicole Parker]

So now at the end of your

[George]

presentation, I'm an older gentleman.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, George.

[George]

I'm an old fashioned fella.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

At the end of your post, you say, I. I figured since because of all of the. What? Endless comments.

[George]

So are you saying I can defend myself?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, can you talk about what the comments.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, hold on a second. It says past posts here with scores of comments.

[George]

Scores.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are they scores?

[George]

20s of comments.

[Nicole Parker]

That's. What.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you. Are you saying. I took it to mean you were looking at how other people pose. Like there was a suspicious man on my property, et cetera, et cetera. But are these past posts that are aimed at you?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that's what I thought. They're about you, right? Yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were there ahead of me.

[Nicole Parker]

I was there ahead of you, which doesn't always happen.

[George]

Yeah, Here's a post. Here's a. I mean, I quote them in my post. A scruffy older man.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, I see. So. Oh, you're kind of like calling them out and like, this is when you're going after your haters online, right?

[George]

You're like, oh, yeah, who peeps the peepers? That's what I'm asking. I'm peeping, but they're peeping back. And I am lavishing attention on these homes so that I can finally get rid of those horrid shutters.

[Nicole Parker]

Talk about the shutters, George, because this

[George]

used to be the horrid shutters. Are these.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were they there when you moved in?

[George]

Oh, yes. Yes, they were there when we moved in.

[Nicole Parker]

Are these shutters on the outside of the house?

[George]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right. Which is just sort of rare, you know what I mean? You can have shutters on the inside of your house. You know, wooden shutters.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

These are the shutters.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[George]

Storm shutters. You gotta remove some bolts and screws to try to swing them into it to prevent storm damage. What a hassle.

[Nicole Parker]

And what are the yellow. Did he say they're yellow?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[George]

Oh, what's a horrid.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

Shade of yellow? Absolutely gas.

[Nicole Parker]

Swallow the microphone to say that I'm just picturing yellow shutters. They sound charming. So can you walk me through what's the color? I'm a realtor, so I. I like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true. That's true.

[Nicole Parker]

I like that sound of the. Of the yellow shutters. So what's wrong with them?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well.

[George]

Well, for one thing, that is ghastly shade of saffron. And. And I'm the. The house. The house is sort of a robin's egg blue.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

It sounds like be.

[Doug]

It would.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would work.

[Nicole Parker]

It does sound like it would work. Well, but maybe just too sort of like cotton candy looking too childish.

[George]

Sandy, my dear, sweet, lovely wife likes soothing colors. Soothing, calming colors. Cool colors. The end of the spectrum. Purples, violets.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Indigo.

[George]

Indigo. Yes. We're here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are.

[George]

We're on the same spectrum.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

As soon as you start warming up those colors. Oh, it. It jangles her nerves.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

And the whole color scheme. Yes. Just is discordant in my eyes. I'm sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm seeing that she is keeping the blue and the yellow because those are calming colors for her.

[George]

I am saying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's saying the opposite.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's saying I think they're too warm and bright.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. But I know what you mean.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know what you mean.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I also think of the robin's egg blue as a sort of cool, calming color.

[George]

Yes, that's what I'm saying. These two colors do. Am I being. Am I being obtuse?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm just trying to figure out. And if I misunderstood, that's on me. Okay? I never wanna put you on the spot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, the whole. The whole.

[George]

And pardon my French, your damn community is putting me on the spot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please, please sit down.

[Nicole Parker]

Please sit down. Please sit down.

[George]

Putting me on. Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, he's out of breath.

[George]

Oh, God, my heart. My ticker. He's looking.

[Nicole Parker]

He's bending. He's putting his head between his knees. My tanker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's scruffier than ever.

[George]

Squeeze. Doc says you gotta squeeze your hands.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Try to force blood back up into the chest.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I don't think that's great. Okay, how about try?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're not in the whistleblower, are you?

[George]

If I was, I'd never try tell you. Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. Well, babe, I respect an NDA. Sir, you know that my husband just joined. Oh, wait, you're not even allowed to say that you joined, Babe, did you already break the rules? Because. Sorry, babe.

[Doug]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Told you guys. What? We're both out. We're both shocked and gobsmacked.

[Doug]

God, I really want in.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wait, you did.

[Doug]

No. You think I'm in trouble?

[Nicole Parker]

I think you might be, because George here knows about the NDA, which me. And he said if I was in it, I wouldn't tell you that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're probably on probation right now.

[Nicole Parker]

You might be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You've jeopardized your chances.

[Nicole Parker]

You have to take your mouth shut for a week. No whistling.

[Doug]

There's no. I can't do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is the reason for that?

[Nicole Parker]

Because you don't. They. First of all, you're not allowed to keep. You can't get any further ahead than any of them would be at the time that you're on probation. And it teaches you to prevent somebody from becoming correct.

[George]

Every chance to perform is a chance to improve.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[George]

And yes, we. We. We.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, don't say we.

[George]

The nail. The nail that sticks up gets. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down. Or so they might say.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. Also, just to learn your lesson, if you can't whistle, you know, I've had to go on vocal rest before.

[George]

Ugh.

[Nicole Parker]

No singing for a day. Nightmare. Doug says it's his favorite.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a little. Do you think I'm sexy?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Doug]

That's our opening number.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've always wanted to hear that.

[Nicole Parker]

Say anything about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't say anything else.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Oh, my God. Okay, so hang on. Let's get back to this. Can we establish when you moved in? We know that the colors were the robin and blue.

[George]

Robin's egg blue and yellow.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. Great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And how long ago did you move in?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, I just. It's so hard with my brain, with my feminine overdrive. It's so hard because I might not be able to hold on to a thought. So I worry that I have to get it all out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Understood. But I think this is key information.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, go ahead. I'll try to remember it.

[George]

Two and a half years.

[Nicole Parker]

Moved in two and A half years ago.

[George]

Okay, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And so what I want to know is.

[George]

I'm done with my question.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Thank you. What I want to know is, when she moved in, did she say, oh, these colors suit me fine. They're the comforting kind I want. Or did she say, these colors are awful?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great question, John.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[George]

Everything else about the property was utterly fantastic, except for this one. This one little splinter. And sometimes that. That's just how it works. A small annoyance grows and snowballs over time, and now it's darn near all we can think about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A pebble in your shoe.

[George]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. But.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But eventually they amputate your leg.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, I think we're getting way too far away from what my question was. Which was. Did she say, I like these colors? They're calming? Or I don't. Or did it start. What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He did evade. Yes, he. What? He did evade.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, he did.

[George]

Again, I feel as though I've been confusing and I did not intend to be. My. My wife favors cool colors.

[Nicole Parker]

He gets more intense every time he re.

[George]

Explains only.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that's clear. Do you know what that part. I'm not struggling.

[George]

Colors. Reds, yellows, oranges. Not for her. We knew this when we bought the place two and a half years ago. We figured maybe we can live with it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, please don't. Kate. Please don't pick the petals off my flowers here. I'm just gonna move this place. Nope, that's not. I don't. Please don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's the first thing you see somebody doing in anger.

[Nicole Parker]

He's ripping them off. I guess what I mean to know is if. If. Why didn't you change it? If it was bothering either one of you?

[George]

Well, the whole point of this little exercise is we have to change it to some. Something perfect. I understand that. Perfection will always elude us. Man's reach must exceed his grasp. Or what's a heaven for.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my goodness.

[George]

I am trying to find the best version of this property, which is why I'm walking around. Item one, for the ticker. Item two for what the. For what we call inspo. I'm looking at the other properties in the neighborhood just to gauge and see how they are, how they are doing. Color harmony.

[Nicole Parker]

Color harmony.

[George]

Sort of function. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color.

[Nicole Parker]

Have you.

[George]

Color, color, harmony.

[Nicole Parker]

They just sang it back and forth to each other.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Color, color, harmony.

[Nicole Parker]

What's happening?

[George]

That's what I'm doing. So. So if my neighbors see me out there peeping, it's out of respect for Their property. To gauge the harmonic components of their. Of their. Of their property.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mentioned the way that cat calling is a. Is a compliment.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. They should be happy about that.

[George]

They should.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Should be. What's the big deal?

[Nicole Parker]

Can I ask you a question? Did you also try going online for inspo? That way you can. I understand you want to work out your ticker, but you could also maybe put a Pinterest board together, look up colors online. Go to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're so interested, you have to pin it.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to a Home Depot and look at all of the paints, swatches, bring them back to your house. Have you done those two things?

[George]

I am not. Internet's not for me.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

Internet's not for me.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? Okay. I know there's still some people, like, across the board.

[George]

Internet's not for me.

[Nicole Parker]

Nothing on the Internet, full stop. Internet's not for him.

[George]

Writing this note on this website was one of the first times I've opened a browser. Good morning. I went all. I took a trip all the way to the library to. To use my card. To use their computer lab.

[Nicole Parker]

Right, right.

[George]

So that I could rise to my own defense. Because Lord knows no one else is going to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope you didn't make any noise because Mrs. C at the library, she will.

[Nicole Parker]

She yells at you. She tried to record an episode in the library, and it was. It was a disaster.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She wants quiet so badly. But she screams at you.

[Nicole Parker]

She does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you make noise.

[Nicole Parker]

And yet she's got a microwave there at the front. Makes so much noise I could hear.

[George]

It's the spindle rotating from the computer lab.

[Nicole Parker]

It's one of the worst. It's one of those bad glasses.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not on. It's not on the track properly. It keeps banging against the sides.

[George]

Yeah. When I engage the caps lock a little too loudly, she screamed at me like the tyrant that she is.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so hang on a second.

[George]

The whole town is against me.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, first of all, again, sit down, please.

[George]

She loves me not.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God. He's on the chair. Get down. Get down. Leave my flowers alone, please. Okay, here's my.

[George]

I'm aiming at perfection. We're aiming at perfection. And I'm building a board.

[Nicole Parker]

George, George, George.

[George]

Taking photos.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

George, George, George, George. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony.

[Nicole Parker]

Color harmony.

[Doug]

Color harmony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Color harmony.

[Nicole Parker]

Tell me where you think this perfectionism comes from. Were you a kid who had straight A's? Were you. Did you have parents who enforced these things? Where do you suppose this comes from?

[George]

Well, yes, my parents held me to a certain standard. I Suppose made me into the young man that I was. Then, of course, I joined the Navy.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[George]

That also instilled a sense of regimented discipline in me as a young buck.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so you were in the Navy. And then what do you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you sail the seven seas and I did, sir.

[George]

I am a son of Neptune.

[Nicole Parker]

And then what did you do after you left? I'm assuming you left the Navy. What do you do now?

[George]

For living what I am.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I.

[Nicole Parker]

What you are. What are you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I heard you say, what I am.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You are all that you are.

[Nicole Parker]

What are you?

[George]

What you are.

[Nicole Parker]

I know you are, but what am I?

[George]

I am a certified Reiki healer.

[Nicole Parker]

You're kidding.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't see that coming.

[George]

I don't understand this response.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I haven't seen the temperament so far for that. Usually I've done Reiki a couple times, and they're very calm.

[George]

Well, if you come to one of my sessions, you'll see. You'll see a brighter side of Geor, but.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. I don't even need to see a brighter side. I need to see the calmer side of George, is what I need to see. Not even brighter.

[George]

The calmer, the softer George.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that based on the old Sears slogan?

[Nicole Parker]

Sounded like the softer side of Sears.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Softer side. That's right. I haven't heard that in a very long time.

[George]

Yeah, you go to. You'll see a softer side of Sears.

[Nicole Parker]

If you go, they really mean. They're like, we're not all washing machines. We'll take pictures of your kid with a rabbit.

[George]

We're not all Craftsman tools. Yes. We're photo backdrops.

[Nicole Parker]

Have ladies underwear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Those are ventriloquism dolls for children.

[Nicole Parker]

Did they?

[Doug]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[George]

Seriously?

[Nicole Parker]

Is that where you got yours, Connie? Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[George]

So much to say that Sears contains multitudes and so does George. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're like the Sears of.

[Nicole Parker]

Can we see. Can we see another one of those multitudes?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. How many have we seen so far?

[George]

I suppose you've seen. Well, I, I.

[Nicole Parker]

Which multitude are we talking to right now?

[George]

You've got me running a little hot right now.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, clearly one of.

[George]

One of the. One of the hotter multitudes that reside in. George, please don't.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't take off your shirt, please. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that.

[George]

Oh, my ticker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Taking the shirt off affected your heart. Boy, you're in bed. I'm sorry. I should say that.

[Nicole Parker]

Just button it up a little bit more, please. That's just. I don't think that's necessary?

[George]

Take it up to the navel, at least.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

He buttoned it from the bottom up, which was so strange.

[George]

That's how we do it in the Navy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[George]

If you come.

[Nicole Parker]

If you come to where?

[George]

Nr. My, my. Reiki Energy Healing.

[Nicole Parker]

Nrg. Okay, got it. Got it.

[George]

Studio. You will see a gentler, softer side.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does NRG stand for something?

[Nicole Parker]

No, it's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No further questions.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like, not.

[George]

Not really gonna.

[Nicole Parker]

I just thought, like, you know, on the license plate, that's what he was doing, you know, the energy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But if you have it just as letters, here's why I ask. A friend of mine, when he first moved to Los Angeles, California, to pursue his dreams, he got a day job as a telemarketer at a place called nrg.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And it's. It's. It allegedly stood for National Research Group, because they did surveys over the phone.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, oh, okay. I get it.

[George]

And my friend.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It took him. He worked there for a good month or so before he realized NRG was supposed to be energy.

[Nicole Parker]

I see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[George]

Well, mine is now Reiki George.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. I was gonna think maybe it's.

[George]

Yeah, like a command.

[Nicole Parker]

No, Reiki George.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Reiki Me George. Indeed.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[George]

And yes, you'll see a softer side of me. I'll move the energy around.

[Nicole Parker]

Ooh. Okay. Don't mind that. Liked that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just so I don't have to think it anymore. Reiki Amadeus.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my gosh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now that you got that out, George. Yeah, see, now. Now I'm. I'm perched.

[Doug]

That was Doug. Like, if I do say so myself.

[Nicole Parker]

It was. It really was, actually.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was.

[George]

But I did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did preface. Preface.

[George]

Amadeus.

[Nicole Parker]

As in Rock Me Amadeus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, exactly right.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's exactly right.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. So, okay, Reiki.

[George]

I am always in search of perfection. Maybe this is the new name, but,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, is there some connection to Amadeus?

[Nicole Parker]

You could play classical music, I suppose. What do you normally play? Or what is the. What is the vibe like when you go in there? You got, like, water features or.

[George]

Or what gongs. You better believe there's water features.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Okay. All right.

[George]

I've got one of those wall sized fountains. You know, it's the fountain wall.

[Nicole Parker]

Love those.

[George]

That's trickling away.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a wall.

[George]

Fountain. It's trickling away.

[Nicole Parker]

I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is the size of a wall.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's a wall.

[George]

It's a wall of water made only for fountain.

[Nicole Parker]

I get it, George. I'm with you. I just want you to know I'm with you. I hear you. I see you.

[George]

Yes. And, and I, I purchased a bunch of. Of meditative tapes from an estate sale. And I mean, they're working on your own.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so wait, someone else does all the talking? Is there talking on these tapes or just music?

[George]

Sometimes. So I haven't listened to all the tapes.

[Nicole Parker]

You haven't?

[George]

Well, I throw one in, let it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let it rip, but you don't really hear it.

[George]

But yes, you hear. Am I being obtuse? Am I being confusing right now?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Yes, you are. You know what? It was such a specific pew.

[George]

Let me paint you a picture.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please.

[George]

Okay, you come into nrg. There's the waiting room wall s. Fountain.

[Nicole Parker]

Wall size fountain. Wall size fountain.

[George]

You step into the Reiki room. There's a table with the little cutout hole so you can lean in acupuncture style. Stick your hole head in the hole. Stick your whole head in the hole.

[Nicole Parker]

This is hard to picture, but I think I can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I find it very easy to picture.

[George]

I'm painting you a word picture.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Sorry. Go on.

[George]

And they're off to the side. A Sony boombox.

[Nicole Parker]

I was afraid of that. Didn't have to be.

[George]

Stack of tapes.

[Nicole Parker]

Stack of tapes.

[George]

Here's me plucking a tape off the stack, throwing it in there. Hit and play.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you even look at the COVID of the tape?

[George]

Well, the estate sale there, it's just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's no labels. It's just loose tapes. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, but terrifying.

[Nicole Parker]

Exactly. But it's somewhere. It said meditation. You're saying it was labeled meditation?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[George]

I purchased these from a meditation ashram that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you ever heard something?

[George]

Yeah, it fell into a fissure. It fell into a fissure after an.

[Nicole Parker]

No, dear. Have you ever heard something strange on one of those tapes?

[George]

Well, define strange.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Weird.

[George]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, now, how is that the, how is that the magic word?

[George]

I don't know, Joan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I got lucky.

[Nicole Parker]

You sure did. Can you share with us what that was?

[George]

Certainly. I mean, many, many times. These, these tapes, you know, I, I, they're. I'm seeking perfection.

[Nicole Parker]

I understand.

[George]

So if, if one, if one fits the bill, it goes into the special pile for reuse. But I haven't worked my way through all the tapes yet, so I pick out.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a lot of tapes.

[George]

It's a lot of tapes. I pick, pluck out a tape, throw it on, and by and large, these are energy work. New age drones. We're dealing in drones.

[Nicole Parker]

Drones, as in. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, some Koyanos, Scotsi music.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. Yeah,

[George]

the very same.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

Didn't realize I was here with a regular Philip Glass.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. So, okay, that's what's normal happened. What was it? What was a weird thing that happened.

[George]

Oh, yeah. A weird thing that happened is that every now and then, like the tape will just be. The car is just what I needed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And do you leave that on or you take it off right away and say, sorry about that.

[George]

I like to think that I can work with anything. So. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you do a Reiki session to just what I need to buy the cars.

[George]

Some, some, some, some. Sometimes that. Look, Reiki is all about reaching into the ether and the.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[George]

What is. Are you hearing this?

[Nicole Parker]

He was right about the mirrors. That's very echoey, very reverberant.

[Doug]

The intro.

[Nicole Parker]

That's the intro to just what I needed.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[George]

Yes. So just imagine the energy. I, I don't. I don't just move the energy. I'm communing with an energy that's always there, that's being resonated by spaces, eyes, objects, colors.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, okay.

[George]

And yes, sometimes that's just what the person needs. It's just what they needed for me to do my work on them while the car's best friend's girl is playing.

[Nicole Parker]

And do they seem to get up and feel better? Do they have positive reactions to your treatment?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doy.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I'm not sure that required a 12 year old response.

[Doug]

Usually it's no doy.

[Nicole Parker]

I've not. I don't think we might. I don't think we've had a doy ever on, on this show. Fine. That I'm so glad that it's obvious to you, but I was just wanting to know, what kinds of things do they say? How do you know that it's a doy? How do you know that it's obvious

[George]

that they're happy because they're completely serene. Afterwards, they. You can tell that the energy has been soothed and moved to its appropriate key. Ley lines.

[Nicole Parker]

And key ley lines. Now, I've never heard that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You never heard key ley lines before?

[Nicole Parker]

I've never heard key ley lines.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I haven't either.

[George]

They're totally key. It's the, you know, the underlying energy currents that flow through.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

All matter.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right.

[George]

Ley lines. The paths by which they flow. Yeah, Key.

[Nicole Parker]

Ley lines. Doy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Let's turn it on me, Joe.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I'm just. I was having a little fun, but

[George]

yes, people are blissed out.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[George]

Calm, in a way.

[Nicole Parker]

Have you thought it. Have you tried this on your wife.

[George]

She's a hard, hard case.

[Nicole Parker]

Why is she a hard case? You know, you've only given me a very narrow portrait of your wife. She's a woman who needs certain colors and that's it. That's all I know. Do we know anything else? Do we even know her name? What's her name?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Oh, yeah, you did say her name, but I don't remember.

[Nicole Parker]

Janice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it was not Janice.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Babe, do you remember of what? Of what?

[George]

Boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And George is just making his guess he, he has the knowledge he's watching

[George]

a twist in the wind doesn't think

[Nicole Parker]

that I listened so cruel he knows

[Paul F. Tompkins]

full well what it is Everybody's watching

[George]

the squirm all piling on Tell us

[Nicole Parker]

more even if it's not her name

[George]

Pretty sure it was Sandy.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, pretty sure it was Sandy. Okay, well, let's go with Sandy. Yeah, I trust you because you're married to her. What does Sandy do for a living?

[George]

Sandy is a stay at home mom.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so you have kids?

[George]

Well, yes. They're no longer in the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, but she still considers herself.

[Nicole Parker]

The kids aren't there in case they need her.

[George]

It's the hardest job you'll ever love.

[Nicole Parker]

They might.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And she is staying at home.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Doug]

Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

What. What ages are they? What are their names?

[George]

22, Keith.

[Nicole Parker]

Great.

[George]

21.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow, you really had to think.

[Nicole Parker]

It's hard to come up with the one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were only a year apart.

[George]

Only a year apart?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, but it still gave you pause.

[George]

Irish twins, I think that's called.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, yes.

[George]

And what's the 21 year old gene?

[Nicole Parker]

Keith and Jean. That was real. Almost a po. Again,

[George]

it's Keith and Jean.

[Nicole Parker]

And then was that it or was there someone else? I thought you said.

[George]

Okay, that's it. And that's all. That's a wrap.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. That's what. That's what she said or that's what you said?

[George]

That's what biology said, sister.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, got it. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were you. Were you older parents? Yes.

[George]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were mature parents.

[George]

As the. As. As my. My many accusers would tell you. I'm an older gentleman.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not. Let's get to that for a second. I do want to know more about your nameless stay at home wife, but I want to Sandy. All right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we're not going back from that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. We're going with Sandy. You keep saying accusers. You're very, very defensive about this. Is there a part of you that can understand why in this day and age, people Might feel a little nervous about a man standing outside of their house photographing it. Is there any part of. You can see that? Because they're probably just looking out for their neighbors. And maybe once they hear this, they'll understand. Although you're being so sort of like, you know, defensive that now it might actually get them more scared.

[George]

Listen, this neighborhood is all about, you know, informed consent. That's why I recommend in the post put up a don't look sign.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, that's. Yeah, I did want to talk don't look sign.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I assume that was tongue in cheek. But you. Were you serious about a don't look sign from some sort of putting up a sign in front of their home that says do not look.

[Nicole Parker]

Like if you. You have to. You. You mean you'll have to actually read the sign to see Don't. Do not look. It'll look like you're looking at their house anyways. I'm not sure that'.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a trap.

[George]

Well, I'm going to be making my rounds.

[Nicole Parker]

Second Admiral Ackbar we've had this season.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It probably won't be our last.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that going to be our theme this year?

[George]

Admiral Ackbar, the Sarlach. They're all there. I know.

[Nicole Parker]

It really is. You know, when Etsy started making all those pillows like it's a nap.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah. Someone started making throw pillows with his face, but it would just say, it's a nap.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hate it.

[Nicole Parker]

They sold very well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I bet they did.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug is upset. He didn't think of it.

[Doug]

I'm not a big fan of that one.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, really?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

What's another app rhyme that you would prefer?

[Doug]

It's a rap for like a, you know, like a nice falafel rap.

[George]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a good one. Okay.

[Doug]

If it's a nap, that feels aggressive if you're laying your head down.

[Nicole Parker]

That's why it's kind of funny, you know, that he would be announcing that. You know, it's just the gentle, you know, voice. Sort of like I'm wrong. Sort of like not expecting George to be able to do Reiki with his loud, sort of strong voice. I think you show me. No, you took me through it. I can see how you have that song. Am I being obtuse? Is this.

[George]

Am I a madman?

[Nicole Parker]

Why do you keep on asking about obtuse?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I also. George, I also have to say, recommending that people put up a privacy fence. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

What does that mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a very tall. I know.

[Nicole Parker]

That's like a Huge. You'd have to add. You'd probably have to pass it through the hoa. You can't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's nothing to understand about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Then I guess I just feel like a lot of times you don't have to say the word privacy. You could just say fence.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, but a fence.

[Nicole Parker]

You feel the need to hear privacy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You could have a fence where you can still see the property.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, sure. But I mean, if I hear fence, I really. I'm. Again, the only time I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You go right to prison.

[Nicole Parker]

If I hear. If I hear picket fence, that's when I hear a. A mid size. I see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I see.

[Nicole Parker]

If you just say fence, I'm. I'm picturing six feet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What about one of those green plastic fences that was made to look like a chain link fence?

[Nicole Parker]

I hate those. I hate those so much.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh. When I was a kid, we would climb them all over the place. They were all over the place.

[Nicole Parker]

All over the place.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If we saw one, we had to climb.

[George]

Okay, there we got little ragamuffins and urchins climbing over every fence they see. But the whole neighborhood's coming down on old George.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But now George. But now George.

[Nicole Parker]

But now George. Colorful harmony. Go. What were you gonna say? What were you gonna say, Bert?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's color harmony. I was gonna say yes.

[George]

If people want privacy, that's on them to build the fence.

[Nicole Parker]

I think you're putting too much.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We all had our hands. We did Potato style.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't know what was happening. I guess I'm in the mushbot. But I bet.

[George]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

The mushbox. You never heard that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you're kidding.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

Like, if you play duck, duck, duck, duck, goose. You don't. Duck, duck, goose. You're familiar. All right, so then, what do you think happens when someone says goose? If you get a chase. Yeah. What happens if you get goose? I want to hear him say it. What do you think happens when you get goosebumps?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to jump up and run around and.

[Nicole Parker]

And I know, but if you. If someone tags you, if you. Or if you can't. If you get like. Like. Like George said. What happens if you lose?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you lose, I assume you're banished.

[Nicole Parker]

No, you sit in the middle of the circle. That's called the mush pot.

[George]

That's the mush.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. I delayed it.

[Doug]

To the mosh pit.

[Nicole Parker]

No, that would be violent for children.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The mush.

[Nicole Parker]

If you lose, duck, duck, goose. Everyone jumps in the center and just bangs against each other.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Some people play duck, duck, Goose play. They call it Duck. Duck. Gray Duck.

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Where?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they insist. That makes more sense.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that a new barn? They do that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, they. For sure they do it.

[Nicole Parker]

A new bar, but yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remember seeing people argue about it online.

[Nicole Parker]

That's very.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Try to make the case for Gray Duck.

[Nicole Parker]

That's very, you know, madness. But here, let me. Let me say, getting back to the fence, I think that is way too much to require of people to alter their house. Property.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stunned by this.

[Nicole Parker]

His eyes are getting wider every second. It's like. What I'm saying is just insane.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm seeing, like, into his skull a little.

[George]

A little bit. Why?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

His eyes are.

[Nicole Parker]

And up his nose. It's. This is.

[George]

I got two wide eyes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm seeing a sarlacc pit.

[George]

My. My lips are pursed. I look like. I look like Doc Boy Arbuckle singing at Christmas.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, now, wait. Who's Doc Boy Arbuckle? One of the actual families.

[George]

John Arbuckle's brother.

[Nicole Parker]

Is he a doctor?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[George]

You poor, poor rube.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Never been called a rube in my own home.

[George]

No, no, no. Oh, God. Sorry. Sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you understand that's my pride. Got the better of me or everybody in the neighborhood if they don't like what you're doing to put up a fence. You know, I do think that's asking a little much.

[George]

In a community, it is our right. It is a right to walk around in a common area. On the street. The only place I am, I'm there on the street.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Took off a shoe.

[George]

A common area. We will stay on the street. And Gabe, can you trespass with your eyes? Let me ask you this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, you can.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Can you trespass with your eyes? I believe that you can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I believe that you can.

[George]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

In many ways.

[George]

How does that make sense?

[Nicole Parker]

My eyes are up here. You know what I mean? That old thing. That's trespassing.

[George]

Well, my eyes are out here on the other side of your property line.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, but you could also say it's in any community. It's also okay for someone, a neighbor, to look outside and say, oh, there's a suspicious person. I don't like that either. I feel like that's equally their right.

[George]

That is their right. And then if they feel that way, it's fence building time.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not. I don't. That's not the only solution. It can't just be fence building time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now this. This makes sense to me, and I'll tell you why, George. It fit. It's very fitting. With what. How you approach things because you're talking about perfection. A lotion. Perfection. Now, surely you've heard the expression perfect don't make perfection. Don't make perfect the enemy of good choice.

[Nicole Parker]

Joan, what was it again?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't. Perfection.

[Doug]

Perfection. Don't make.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't make perfect. Don't George Bush me. Can't get fooled again. Don't make perfect the enemy of the good. Meaning that something that is good is good. If you keep trying to make it absolutely perfect, you're going to miss out on the fact that it could just be good.

[Nicole Parker]

That's silly. Brilliant advice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What? I'm glad you finally got on my side.

[Nicole Parker]

Kind of funny you were talking about perfection, then you messed it up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's good.

[George]

Yeah, that's good. I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is pretty funny.

[George]

That's pretty good. I. Look, I hear George.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't need you ching in on that one.

[George]

It's good.

[Nicole Parker]

Always trying to do. Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I actually do feel better.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my goodness. That was such a quick session too. That was like almost nothing. Imagine what you get from an hour. Is it your session an hour?

[George]

Hour to two hours? It depends on how long the tape is. Some are 90 minutes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You will go for as long as the tape is.

[George]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So if it's one of those super. Oh, remember when they came out with 120 minute tape, like, oh, what a mix I'm gonna make.

[George]

That's a long day for George, I'll tell you.

[Nicole Parker]

So what do you think of what he just said? What do you think what Burnt just said?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you think of that?

[George]

Yeah, what do I think of that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, do you see his point?

[George]

I think it was good. Not perfect.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy. No, right there.

[George]

And that's. Look, we're all saying. Saying the same thing. We agree. All of us are saying the same thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know about that.

[George]

I'm not sure I'm aiming at perfect. Attempting to land on good, knowing that I'll never be perfect.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now you okay that, George, I think that is very disingenuous. You have. The way you've been talking this whole time is that you are in search of nothing but perfection.

[George]

Well, I doubt it's life. A lifelong search.

[Nicole Parker]

How did that affect your children and what do they do now?

[George]

Well, we no longer speak.

[Nicole Parker]

Afraid of that. Absolutely afraid. Afraid of that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was the. What was the final straw for either you or them?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[George]

Well, honestly, one that just kind of sticks in my mind is Jean coming up to me with one of Her. One of her portraits. Like, daddy, take a look at this. Like, wow, this is good. Why don't you bring it back to me when you've got it right?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that the way you said it?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. And he mind ripping up a piece of paper when he did that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That is terrible, I have to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, that's heartbreaking.

[George]

Oh, she's in the. In the. In the, in the, in the 10. I want to say in the tens.

[Nicole Parker]

In the tens. It's just 10.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[George]

Somewhere in the tens.

[Nicole Parker]

Or she's not. Okay. That's very young. That's very young to have someone who you're looking up to and you want approval from and you're just doing something

[Paul F. Tompkins]

nice and you haven't spoken since then.

[Nicole Parker]

Thanks for catching up, Bert. Yeah, yeah. What happened? Did she. I live there.

[George]

As I said, I'm an empath. I'm an empathic energy healer. So I could really feel the energy change at that moment.

[Doug]

Right.

[George]

Hard to recover from.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So Jean, at the age of 10, decided, I'm not talking to that guy anymore.

[George]

Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

And what about Keith?

[George]

Keith?

[Nicole Parker]

Keith. Was it right? Am I, am I right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought you said Keith.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought I said Keith.

[George]

Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Now 22 year old. What happened with him? Why doesn't he talk to you anymore?

[George]

He insists on only speaking through. Mediated through the Internet, which, as I said, is not. Not for me. Right. Moved well away from home.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, so you could be speaking with Keith via the Internet. You don't like the Internet?

[George]

That is correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not for you.

[George]

Not for me.

[Nicole Parker]

Where does he live and where do they both live?

[George]

But Keith lives in Alaska.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Okay, so he really wanted to get very remote.

[George]

And Jean made her way to San Francisco.

[Nicole Parker]

Did she?

[George]

Living the high life, whimsical for no reason.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You really put some sauce on this.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. What's that all about? What does she do there?

[George]

I was there for a brief time when I was in the Navy. Oh, man. But.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[George]

Oh, I. I wish I knew what my genie was doing, but.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear, this is. Well, have you ever tried to reach out to her?

[George]

I think about it. I think about it all the time. But then I remember how much work I have to do on these absolutely horrid children.

[Nicole Parker]

George, how do we get you off of these?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, go to a paint store. George, what are we talking about?

[Nicole Parker]

Just try. Just get a couple of sections. Like a couple of samples of paint. Yes, Try in a couple sections and maybe one of them actually looks good, you know, what you. No matter what. No matter what. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm hot right now. No matter what. If you put a different color on there, it'll be different than what you hate right now. Right. And that might just be even better. Different. Better. Different is better than good. That is from Stephen Sondheim.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[George]

Little yellow different. I am.

[Nicole Parker]

Let me try to put the new print commercial. Stephen Sondev didn't do that one.

[George]

Let me try to put this in terms that old Admiral Ackbar will understand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He wished.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, here we go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you think he wished he had?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I think he thinks they stole it from him. All right, I'm sorry, George. Go ahead.

[George]

Let me try to put this in terms of. Admiral Ackbar would understand that. I'm not trying to try. I'm trying to do. That is precisely why I'm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm building a lookbook that is.

[George]

You're.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're paraphrasing the Sorcerer Yoda, correct?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The little.

[George]

The little. The little green sorcerer by the name of Yoder. I'm doing my laps of the neighborhood, getting inspo. You understand?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long have you been doing.

[George]

My neighbor should be flattered.

[Nicole Parker]

Flattered.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long have you been doing this? Did you say in the Post?

[George]

It's unbelievably. It's specified in the Post.

[Nicole Parker]

What I don't understand is, you know, the neighborhood is not. Well, where do you live? What. What neighborhood do you live in?

[George]

I live on Coolidge Parkway.

[Nicole Parker]

Coolidge Parkway. Okay. That's not. I know that tract very well. It's not huge. I mean, how. How much more do you have to walk around and look at people's houses? If you've looked at 50 houses three times, you've looked at them enough. You even took some pictures sometimes it says, how much more do you need to be out there? Aren't you done? I mean, didn't you see it all?

[George]

You know, there's. There's little nuances that you catch each time.

[Nicole Parker]

Like what. What are you missing? What's something new, too?

[George]

Different color harmonics, different harmony. Yeah. Color harmony.

[Nicole Parker]

It comes all. It all comes back to color harmony, I guess.

[George]

Indeed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Color harmony.

[George]

You understand? Color harmony.

[Doug]

Head on.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[George]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God.

[George]

In many ways, that the facade of a house is the forehead of the house. I'm applying my gaze directly to the forehead.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't just agree with that. I can't. Now that I've. Right.

[Nicole Parker]

But now I want you to apply paint directly to its forehead. Okay. That's what we want you to do.

[George]

Well, I will, once I've been appropriately inspired.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm just thinking. What? Do you need more to be inspired? You walked around. You looked at everyone's houses. I know you're talking about nuances.

[George]

I guess you're the expert, so I guess you're the. The.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, in one way, I am a realtor. I am one of the experts.

[George]

I guess you think that I'm sublimating my anger at my own children by pouring my energy.

[Nicole Parker]

Every single one of the words.

[George]

I'm pouring this energy now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's using all his fingers.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. He's just.

[George]

He looks like he's squeezing home renovations in order to salvage whatever energy there is in the relationship I have between my wife, whose name is tenuously remembered, at best.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Are things not well between you and your wife?

[George]

Oh, things could be a lot better if the color harmonics could change.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think it's just that. George, how much time do you spend together? You guys go out on dates? What do you do?

[George]

Boy, the thrill is really hanging by a thread. Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I've never heard you describe.

[George]

But not golf. That's entirely gone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, we're not full.

[George]

BB King.

[Nicole Parker]

Hanging by a thread is still rather exciting.

[George]

Yeah, there's a gossamer thin thread, much like the cords that are. That we've all learned today are in the human throat.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, that's right. Did B.B.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

king coin the phrase, the thrill is gone?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Bernt, I'm not the person to ask that question to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Whoever did. I mean, what a devastating thing to hear if somebody said that to you.

[George]

Shattering.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really paints a picture.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, what do you like about her?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh,

[George]

give me a second. Give me a second.

[Nicole Parker]

He says so much before he says anything at all. He's getting on the ground.

[George]

Get a couple of these buttons undone here.

[Nicole Parker]

He's getting on the ground. He's taking off his pants Thanksgiving style.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, boy. Someone could come to eat.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't think of anything comfortable sitting up?

[George]

Well, you got me all worked up.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, I'm sorry. That a question of. What do you like about your wife? Was. Was a problem.

[George]

I'm here in the stocks in the center of town with everybody throwing their slings and arrows at yours truly just because I'm. I'm taking some landscape style photos of the front lawns.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

George, you are one of the most defensive people we've ever had on this show.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, you are.

[Nicole Parker]

It is Exhausting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know who you remind me of? Craig Conover from Southern Charm. It's everybody's fault but yours.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know that show, but you're right. Burnt. That's what it sounds like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Never know showjohn.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't want to. I don't want to. You make it sound terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stay gold, pony.

[Nicole Parker]

Boy, oh, boy. So I think that that is true. I think that, you know, you can't hear when people are trying to help you, but also, you don't really even want to directly answer a question. It almost seems like you're hiding a lot more than just being in a certain quiet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It does feel that way. I'm sorry.

[George]

Saying that there might be some. Some unresolved personal issues.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

100% percent.

[George]

Just kind of mind my way of navigating the world. That has been a long and complicated house of cards.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh,

[George]

a long and complicated house of cards.

[Nicole Parker]

Long and complicated house of. With. With. With shutters that you hate. I get it.

[George]

Oh, ghastly, horrid gas.

[Nicole Parker]

I keep saying gas. I can't picture a yellow. That would be ghastly if I. If I'm being honest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I can.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not helping. Okay. What? What? Yellow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's sort of green.

[Nicole Parker]

Yellow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's different. That's like. That. Doesn't that have its own word? Word like puce?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did you.

[George]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

But I wouldn't call that yellow.

[Doug]

Bless you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug. Doug.

[George]

Yeah?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In response to pews. Is that what happened?

[Nicole Parker]

I think so. I think so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That would be a cute sneeze.

[Nicole Parker]

I guess you can. I guess you can see how that might happen.

[George]

Known one or two people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way, I never trust people

[Nicole Parker]

who sneeze like that. Like, how dare you. Don't sneeze. Adorable like that. A sneeze is violent. Sneezes are incredibly violent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like you can train yourself to sneeze a certain way.

[Doug]

Yeah. Remember I worked on it for a while?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, that's right. You were trying to be in charge of your sneezes. That is right. You tried to leave a voicemail where you were gonna sneeze and go, I

[Paul F. Tompkins]

did leave a voice.

[Nicole Parker]

It's. Before you ever get to the tune.

[Doug]

Everyone loves it.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, everyone loves it.

[Doug]

By the way, the thrill is gone.

[Nicole Parker]

Here's.

[Doug]

Here's a 1931 Broadway tune by Henderson and Brown.

[Nicole Parker]

Would you look at that? Broadway.

[Doug]

Not the same song, but at least the Phra Goes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's as far back as we can date the phrase yes.

[Doug]

As far back.

[Nicole Parker]

There you go. George, this is normally the point in the. In the podcast where we feel like we've helped someone or we wish them luck, but lost cause I feel like we went in circles a lot.

[George]

You know, spiraling.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't.

[George]

I'm going in circles around the neighborhood just trying to get my tickers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, let me ask you this.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Also, what about that? Like, why do you think your ticker's bad? Did the doctor tell you that it's bad? Have you been in to see someone?

[George]

Yes, the doctor told me that the daily walks were.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry if I didn't hear that. Park.

[Doug]

Dock boy.

[Nicole Parker]

No, babe, that's a fake animated.

[George]

Doc boy is not a doctor. He's John Arbuckle's brother.

[Doug]

Pumpkin brother.

[George]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wears overalls. No doctor has ever worn overalls, and they never will.

[George]

Dock boy stayed at home on the family farm. John Arbuckle went away to the big city to make something of himself.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm going to say something to you, George. I want you to hear this. If you hear nothing else at all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What city does Garfield take place in?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know.

[George]

This. I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

I have no idea.

[George]

My God.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you just put us all into a dark void. Burnt with that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm really sorry. I didn't.

[Nicole Parker]

George, I'm going to say it again.

[Doug]

How do you say it, you guys? Muncie, Indiana.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Muncie. Is that true?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that sounds about right, actually. That sounds about right. Okay, I've been to Muncie. All right, so here's the thing. If you're worried about your ticker, I'm going to tell you right now. Now, the stress that you are putting on that ticker, getting so defensive, getting so worked up, spiraling about these colors, that is what is going to hurt your ticker. I'll tell you right now. And I want you to hear that from me. I think you need to. Reiki. Healer, heal thyself. Oh, I think you need to go. I don't know why you just punch burnt in the stomach.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me tell you something, George. You have.

[Nicole Parker]

Back off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have. Don't look. I'm staying on my side.

[George]

Don't look.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not looking at you.

[George]

Don't look. I do not give you permission to look.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have been. For a guy who's worried about his heart health, you have been apoplectic on this podcast. No less than I'm going to say 50 times.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct. So do you. How can you hear what I said? Do you Understand how maybe sometimes you get worked up and probably doesn't feel well. Do you feel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that penetrating at all?

[Nicole Parker]

At all? You'll feel lightheaded. It doesn't make you feel good. That. That's what's making you sick.

[George]

I'm hearing. I'm absorbing.

[Nicole Parker]

Good, good.

[George]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[George]

My. My, my. The way I express anger and sort of bottle.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[George]

My feelings and sort of comes out in these inappropriate ways when I could find more creative and. And. And construct constructive outlets for my. For my emotions. Not connected to home renovation, but maybe dealing with some deeper emotional. Emotional. Unresolved.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Issues. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, you're swallowing a lot. Okay. I'm a little nervous, but that was the calmest I've seen. The longest I've seen him calm in this whole entire interview.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It did seem like he was trying not to lose his mind.

[Nicole Parker]

I know, but I think it's still a start. I think you need to start breathing more, swallowing less. And I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is this? Hamilton for heat?

[Doug]

More.

[George]

Swallowing less. Yeah. So my own personal Aaron Burr over here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Now, George. Wow.

[Doug]

I've never heard wow. Usually I hear that with peanut butter in someone's mouth.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Aaron Burr.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Aaron Burr. Yeah, the commercial. Good job. Okay.

[George]

Got milk?

[Doug]

Good job.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, you are inimitable. You are an original problem. All right? And I want you to know that you don't have to be like anyone else.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Will not engage with that.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry. I didn't hear it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's okay.

[Nicole Parker]

You were doing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were doing the right thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I was talking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were doing the right thing. I was on the wrong thing.

[Nicole Parker]

But you're not gonna tell me what you did. Okay, I'll hear it later because I'll listen to the podcast I know you

[Paul F. Tompkins]

don't listen to in the next segment. Next segment.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll do it. Okay, great. So did you hear what I said? You. You are. You. You are enough. And you don't have to worry about getting the perfect kind of paint. Okay? Just get a paint color that is different and see where that takes you. Just. Just take one tiny step. Okay.

[George]

I suppose there's some. It's moving toward perfection.

[Nicole Parker]

This is now making. Just as scared as this is, like a scary energy. Just as bad as the it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And. And the way he's trying to put the petals back on the flowers is weird.

[George]

Make it right. Make it perfect. Make it pretty. Make it pretty again. Sorry, I'm gonna put these headphones in. I need. I need a little decompression.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[George]

George, I don't mind you coming here wasting all my time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

George can no longer hear us, so we're going to say thank you to George. He needs help and I don't think the cars are gonna do it this time.

[Nicole Parker]

If you see him looking at your house, honestly, just know that he means no harm and stay inside, okay? Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that he's. He's more miserable than you could ever be about him.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely. And he. And he really. He's hurting himself, not you. Okay. So don't. Don't worry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think he's going to get the part where they go time Time?

[Nicole Parker]

I sure hope so because that's my favorite part time. Oh, good. Now we can go. All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll be back with the neighbor listen when the neighbor listen returns.

[George]

Talking in your sleep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is Rosie. I have a free menorah for free. It's elegant silver color menorah with intricate design. Good solid metal. Not silver, but nice. Free menorah. Free menorah. Fo f F. Free. Free. Free. Free. Free. Woo for free menorah. Free menorah. Free Menorah. Free Menorah. Free Madora. Free Madora. Free Madora. Is there another one? Free. Free menorah is free. Free. Manor aura is free. It is good solid metal. Not silver, but nice. I'm having fun and I hope you're having fun listening to me having fun. Welcome back to the neighborhoods. That guy.

[Nicole Parker]

That was fast. That guy was so exhausting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He really. I feel like I just like. Like I've been doing laps around the

[Nicole Parker]

neighborhood and you know, it's always hard when some. You question someone looks like you look. You're crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's all he did to every question.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my goodness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh. So what I said.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, I would say that I missed

[Paul F. Tompkins]

when Doug referenced the famous Got Milk commercial. Aaron Burr. The person's trying to. It's like a phone contest.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It's a radio station. Yep. You have to call in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Trying to say Aaron Burr, but his mouth is full of peanut butter and

[Nicole Parker]

his whole entire life has been studying this. He's obviously got the a picture of it. His whole office is dedicated.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't even remember that level of detail.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, it is. They zoom in on the bullet. They zoom in on. It's like he spent his whole life studying this bullet.

[Doug]

It really.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. He has it in like a case or something. Yes. I'm not saying it's the real bullet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How would he come to have that?

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not saying it's the real bullet, but he has it already. The commercial is saying that probably.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So he finally gets his chance to say the name Aaron Burr.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which is going to change his life. But his mouth is full of like packed with peanut butter.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's eating a peanut butter sandwich.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Correct. Which.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's demented.

[Nicole Parker]

I know nothing. Or assuming there's nothing else in there to break it up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's for cheating children to try and realize it's not a good idea.

[Nicole Parker]

And that's when you're like, well, that's why we put jelly.

[Doug]

Well, you mean to eat a peanut butter sandwich?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, just dry, just without anything else. No jelly. No, honey, that's not enjoyable. No.

[Doug]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

You like that, babe?

[Doug]

Of course, of course, of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what?

[Nicole Parker]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you think that maybe if Aaron Burr could know that if he had any kind of awareness in this universe that he's so happy that Hamilton came along because other than that, he would have been only known as peanut butter guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

And now he's known as this awesome rapping, singing, Tony award winning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Who, who, who's. I remember. Oh, he's the.

[Doug]

He.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's the murderer that the kid was trying to say in that commercial for Milk.

[Doug]

Yeah, he's in the duel.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Yes, he's in the duel, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so my question is.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would milk have helped in that situation? You're just pouring milk onto.

[Nicole Parker]

I forgot we were talking about got milk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're pouring milk onto just a solid wall of peanut butter. I don't think it's. It's not. It doesn' solution properly.

[Doug]

It dissolves peanut butter like acid.

[Nicole Parker]

It does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's not true, Doug.

[Nicole Parker]

Here's what I'm gonna say. The first thing I would reach for is not milk. Right. Obviously it's gonna be water. Anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I reach for a spoon to scrape it out of my mouth. You would if this was so important.

[Nicole Parker]

You gotta watch out for your sarlach.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We all do.

[Nicole Parker]

You reach it down too far.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We all have to watch out for our sarlaches.

[Doug]

I think Aaron Burr would be blown away that Milk would be such a. Such a big deal because he probably, you know, they just get it everywhere.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think he probably accepts TV faster? Yeah. Objective advertising for milk, Aaron. Bur this is television. Okay, what else? Well, milk.

[Nicole Parker]

What is that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm going to show you an advertisement for milk. Okay. Then he looks at the advertisement like, wow, milk is that popular?

[Doug]

Yeah, they've come out the of this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, we have time for one more post.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just George.

[Nicole Parker]

I know I know. He was really upsetting. And he really did destroy all my flowers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He really. He really did.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you okay, by the way? Because he really got you good in the gut.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He. He really Houdini'd me. He's lucky my appendix didn't burst.

[Doug]

I think by comparison, he'll have a harder time getting back in the choir than me.

[Nicole Parker]

Probably. As long as you stop talking about it right now, babe.

[Doug]

Okay, I. I read the fine print of the contract.

[Nicole Parker]

You did?

[Doug]

I don't actually get kicked out for this.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Doug]

But I have to run the gauntlet. The whistle gauntlet?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that entail?

[Nicole Parker]

Hard?

[Doug]

Yeah, there's. There's kind of like skiing. Sk. Shooting at the same time while I'm whistling. You have to maintain a whistle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who were you being?

[Nicole Parker]

There's what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who were you being just then?

[Nicole Parker]

Snow White.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She sings it, I believe.

[Nicole Parker]

She does, yes. Jazz. We saw you work. Who else sounds like that in Snow White?

[Doug]

I thought it was not the dwarves saying it.

[Nicole Parker]

They sing hi Ho.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They only get one song.

[Doug]

Yes, but she's not the one whistling.

[Nicole Parker]

It's an old Disney movie. Everybody only gets one song and no sequels.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What other songs? Oh, say Someday My prince will Come. Is that in there?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. There's only basically three.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You work hire.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. That's it. That's about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

You know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, we have time for one more post. This comes to us from Alessio. This is in the for sale and free okay section. This is free. Alessio writes, have you been neglected long? Oh, the headline is husband for a day service. Oh, free.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you been neglected long enough? Husband refuses to finish your honey do list. Call me, I'll do it all for you need someone to serve you what can I take care of at your home? I'm might handy handyman if you will but with a twist I can do it all do you need a faucet changed? Then he goes to need your back rubbed. Oh, wow. I can do your dirty laundry oh, it's starting to sound kinkier and kinky.

[Nicole Parker]

I could do your dirty laundry

[Paul F. Tompkins]

what is that? What is that?

[Nicole Parker]

Weird Aling be your hero, baby.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I thought. Okay, maybe just someone to talk to Let me change the oil on your car have a desk that needs to be assembled have some projects or needs that your husband has been neglecting I'm here to serve you now this guy

[Nicole Parker]

have a dust that needs to be. What was that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Desk?

[Nicole Parker]

A desk. Okay, that's my fault. Assembled a. Okay. All Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Have some projects or needs that your husband has been neglecting. I'm here to serve you.

[Nicole Parker]

My gosh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, Alessio is clearly. This is a. I guess a solicitation.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a cry for help.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it a reverse solicitation? Solicit me.

[Nicole Parker]

I think he's so lonely also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Again, I think lonely is a generous read, Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, what do you really think is going on?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This guy wants to have sex with people's wives. Penetrative. Any kind, looks like.

[Nicole Parker]

It looks like he's down on their desk assembled it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, that's right after he's changed all the oil on the car.

[Doug]

I don't like this at all.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I don't like it at all. This is wild. Does he actually think anyone's gonna respond to him?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, the sad thing is, somebody probably will.

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Doug]

What does this profile pick look like?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is his. What?

[Nicole Parker]

His profile. His profile profile.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know he does not. He has a pict that is just. It's a picture of his shoulders down.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It goes from shoulders to ankles.

[Nicole Parker]

I swear to God, men don't. This is. Are you joking? If you click on it, though, would it be bigger? That's just the thumbnail.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

What is wrong with men? You know, I. I helped my friend try to get on some of these dating apps one time. Men don't know how to take a picture. They literally don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They refuse to know.

[Nicole Parker]

Faceless. Or it's them, like, passed out at a party. That's the people picture that they chose. It's like they're not even trying. Meanwhile, women go and, like, spend hundreds of dollars to get the right profile pick, you know, and this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This who sounds like they're coming out ahead?

[Nicole Parker]

The men.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, exactly. That's my point.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't know how. No.

[Nicole Parker]

You're saying they're doing it on purpose. Well, that. Well, that makes me furious. It makes me furious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it should. And here's the thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, it does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My favorite kind of profile picture is when there's multiple people in the picture.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to say.

[Nicole Parker]

You have to guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know. What is this game?

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe she'll think I'm the attractive one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, I understand there's some. Some people on the. On the dating app. Some men on the dating apps will have a picture of them. And another woman.

[Nicole Parker]

Give me a break. Oh, that's so typical. How ridiculous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think that's proof of concept?

[Doug]

Yeah. Proves they've been around the block.

[Nicole Parker]

She didn't mind Standing up. Just me for a second.

[Doug]

It's like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like if you lived here, you'd be home by now.

[Nicole Parker]

Sort of. I would need to see an actual marriage certificate. And then citing the reasons for not being together anymore just so that there was proof.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Death.

[Nicole Parker]

It better be death.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Better be death. There's no other acceptable like either. There's some egregious story where you got taken in by someone. That's not good. Well, you're dumb. I don't. I don't want to be with you.

[Nicole Parker]

You mean. Oh, that person was kind of like a con person.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Or you were the problem.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Well, that's what I would need. I mean, I can't even imagine being out there in the world again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Streets.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Every time, you know, Doug and I have a fight, I just think, well, it's better than having to look at that guy's body without a face.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How does that make you feel, Doug?

[Doug]

Not the best best. Our fights aren't bad at all.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I just mean, like. I just mean sometimes mar. Listen, marriage is hard, okay? It's hard is what I've heard. Exactly. I mean, you understand. You ran away from it the first time. And I'm not saying that to, like, indict you. I'm just saying you clearly understand that marriage can be intimidating. You might have been afraid of it. I get it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I honestly don't know what was going on. Yes, I was afraid of marriage. I don't think I understood what it entailed. And I think I just was not ready.

[Nicole Parker]

It means it's not going to be perfect all the time. Because life isn't perfect all the time. Right. And when things aren't perfect and when we're down, we start thinking, oh, what if? And then it's like, immediately. I'm just being honest. You don't want to turn into a George Immediately. I think. I don't. Immediately, I think, oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I. I'm so grateful. Even. I'm grateful for the fights because it's better than being back alone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so glad that my husband, Doug, has a head and feet.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm so glad you do, babe. And it's a great head and feet.

[Doug]

Most of the time, the fights are because she can't find me in the house. Like, I'll just be. I forget that I'm not.

[Nicole Parker]

Like, my keys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't blame her for that. This place is too big.

[Nicole Parker]

It's way too big.

[Doug]

We're not playing the blame game.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No blame.

[Doug]

Finger of Blame is not the rigid finger of blame.

[Nicole Parker]

Boy, you really love that phrase.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that does it for this episode of the Neighborhood Lessons. What? Oh, for whistles.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, just to sing us. To whistle us out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Whistle work.

[Nicole Parker]

What about the Bridge of the. Oh, okay. I was gonna ask for like a classic whistle. So song like the Bridge of the River. Quiet. Is that the same thing? Yes, yes. Can you do that one?

[Doug]

Which.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? Here's how I'll get him to understand it. The Breakfast Club song that they whistle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, whistle that during the breakfast.

[Nicole Parker]

They do. Yes, they do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remember nothing about that movie.

[Doug]

Oh, that's a good one.

[George]

They make your feet feel fine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Boo Bo. They cost a dollar 99.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what is that? Bobos. What are bobos?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was a song. That's a weird howling of Colonel Bogey's mom.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To make fun of off brand shoes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. That's fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Bobos.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, we're gonna leave you with that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Some people also sang Comet. It makes your teeth turn green.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I remember that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Tastes like Gasoli.

[Nicole Parker]

That's correct. Joan Rivers used to play off her shows that way. It's absolutely true with that song.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, with the Comet version?

[Nicole Parker]

I believe so. But it's also who record. But. But I think she just called it that. I think it was just a whistle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can more. I can more normalize the. The. The recording of the baby back rib song. Having seen video of that, I'm like, okay, that's kind of fun to see them do. I can't imagine somebody in a recording studio. Can I go again? Comet?

[Nicole Parker]

Can I go again? What was the thing you said last time? Can I get more something in the track?

[Doug]

Can get more fruit card than in the track.

[Nicole Parker]

Can I get more comedy in the track? All right, well, there you have it.

[George]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you for listening. If you'd like to hear ad free versions of the episodes or our bonus content, go to cbbworld.com Sign up on the Maximus tier and that's how you get it. All right, Follow us on Instagram. The Neighborhood Listen. You can see the post we use on the show.

[Doug]

Yep, there you go.

[Nicole Parker]

That's it. What do you say, Bernd? Goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been change.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and me, Nicole

[Doug]

Parker and me, Bret Morris.

[Nicole Parker]

Today's guest was played by Ross Bryant.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima's subscribers. Your support keeps the show. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sterling K. Brown and I'm Chris Sullivan

[George]

and we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[Nicole Parker]

Each episode we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This Is Us.

[George]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[George]

Are we gonna cry?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, a little bit.

[George]

Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Nicole Parker]

A whole lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that Was Us on your favorite podcast EP app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.

[Nicole Parker]

Wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventures, protect your dog from parasites with Cridellio Guatro. For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit cordelioquatrolabel.com consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973. Ask your vet for Cornelia Quattro and visit quattrodog.com.