My Property, My Mineral Rights with Anna Garcia

Summary

The Neighborhood Listen — Episode Summary: "My Property, My Mineral Rights with Anna Garcia"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Neighborhood Listen
• Host/Author: The Neighborhood Listen
• Episode: My Property, My Mineral Rights with Anna Garcia
• Release Date: April 15, 2025
• Description: Join Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) as they navigate the quirky happenings of Dignity Falls, inspired by posts from a neighborhood social networking app and interactions with the town’s most intriguing residents.

---

Introduction

The episode kicks off with the hosts engaging in their signature playful banter, quickly establishing the lighthearted and comedic tone that defines "The Neighborhood Listen." Skipping over the typical advertisements and intro sequences, the episode zeroes in on its main content, centered around a listener’s post about property and mineral rights.

Hosts' Banter and Couple’s Therapy Insights

[09:28] Nicole Parker: "So, Gabby was thinking of moving in, or you were thinking moving in with Gabby and you were feeling a little bit strange about it."

Paul and Nicole delve into a humorous yet insightful conversation about their experiences with couple’s therapy. Paul shares his fears about sharing space permanently, linking them to his past experiences with his only child parents who frequently let strangers stay at their home, leading to repeated burglaries.

Notable Quote:

• Paul F. Tompkins [12:20]: "They would put an ad in the paper that said, free place to stay."

This segment combines humor with genuine introspection, highlighting the interpersonal dynamics between the hosts while setting the stage for deeper community interactions.

Introduction of Garrett Cross: The Aspiring Prospector

The conversation transitions as the hosts introduce their guest, Garrett Cross, a resident of Dignity Falls who has taken to digging his property in search of precious minerals, specifically rubies.

[34:29] Nicole Parker: "This is Garrett. Garrett. Welcome to the neighborhood listen, Garrett."

Garrett explains his ambitious project: digging 20 feet into his yard to unearth rubies and manage the burgeoning dirt and clay mounds occupying his space. His endeavor has sparked both curiosity and concern among his neighbors.

Notable Quote:

• Garrett [37:55]: "I sell mortgages on my laptop."

Garrett's unique blend of prospecting and mortgage selling adds to the quirky charm of Dignity Falls, illustrating the diverse interests that bind the community.

The Ruby Quest and Community Building

Garrett shares his experiences meeting fellow prospectors, Emerald and Stephen, who have also discovered porcelain dolls buried in their properties—a peculiar and unsettling find that hints at deeper, possibly mysterious undertones within the town.

[48:03] Garrett: "I found so much. There's a bunch of porcelain dolls."

The discovery of these dolls becomes a focal point, leading to the formation of a prospecting group that meets monthly to share findings and strategies. Garrett’s enthusiasm for digging compensates for the isolation it brings, fostering a newfound sense of camaraderie.

[65:02] Garrett: "The clay was awesome."

The discussion highlights the physical challenges of digging through clay and the rewards of uncovering historical or valuable items, blending practical advice with humorous anecdotes about the unpredictability of his finds.

Notable Quote:

• Garrett [64:08]: "We call it the Florida of Dignity Falls. It is."

Referring to his neighborhood’s geological richness, Garrett paints a picture of a community ripe with hidden treasures, both literal and metaphorical.

Porcelain Dolls: A Mysterious Find

The recurring theme of porcelain dolls excavated by Garrett and his peers introduces an eerie twist to the episode. These dolls, some partially intact with missing limbs, suggest a potentially dark history or unexplained occurrences within Dignity Falls.

Notable Quote:

• Garrett [48:16]: "I kept digging, and about in the same area as the face, I found two intact porcelain dolls in dress."

The hosts react with a mix of concern and fascination, questioning the origin and significance of these dolls. This segment underscores the mysterious allure of the town, inviting listeners to ponder the stories buried beneath the surface.

Challenges and Safety Concerns

Garrett discusses the practical aspects of his digging, such as the necessity of a sharp shovel and the physical toll it takes. The conversation shifts to safety precautions and the importance of being prepared for emergencies while digging.

Notable Quote:

• Paul F. Tompkins [55:02]: "I do feel like it would be hard to bake on the sidewalk, much less cook."

This metaphorical remark emphasizes the intensity of Garrett’s endeavor, blending humor with genuine concern for his well-being.

Community Reactions and Support

The dialogue touches on the community’s mixed reactions to Garrett’s project. While some admire his dedication, others express frustration over the disturbances caused by his digging activities, such as noise and property disruptions.

[70:53] Garrett: "We're thinking 1:30, depending on when stuff."

Garrett's efforts to coordinate with his neighbor Emerald and manage the logistics of his prospecting meetings illustrate the challenges of balancing personal passions with community harmony.

Notable Quote:

• Nicole Parker [66:19]: "I think that's a perfect plan, and I wish you well in this."

Nicole’s supportive stance highlights the podcast’s underlying message of community support amidst eccentric pursuits.

Conclusion: Embracing Quirkiness and Community Spirit

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on Garrett’s stories with a blend of amusement and admiration. They acknowledge the unique fabric of Dignity Falls—a town where unusual hobbies and mysterious finds coexist, fostering a tight-knit and vibrant community.

[83:35] Paul F. Tompkins: "This episode's guest was played by Anna Garcia."

While Anna Garcia's role remains more subtle, her characterization adds depth to the storytelling, embodying the intrigue that makes Dignity Falls so captivating.

Final Notable Quote:

• Nicole Parker [83:31]: "The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins, and me."

The episode concludes on a high note, encouraging listeners to engage with their own neighborhood stories and embrace the unique narratives that define their communities.

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Key Takeaways:

• Community Engagement: Garrett Cross’s mining endeavors serve as a catalyst for community interaction, highlighting the importance of shared interests in building relationships.
• Mystery and Intrigue: The discovery of porcelain dolls adds an element of mystery, suggesting deeper, untold stories within Dignity Falls.
• Humor and Support: The hosts maintain a humorous tone while offering genuine support, balancing lightheartedness with meaningful conversations about personal and communal challenges.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Paul F. Tompkins [12:20]: "They would put an ad in the paper that said, free place to stay."
• Garrett [37:55]: "I sell mortgages on my laptop."
• Garrett [48:16]: "I kept digging, and about in the same area as the face, I found two intact porcelain dolls in dress."
• Paul F. Tompkins [55:02]: "I do feel like it would be hard to bake on the sidewalk, much less cook."
• Nicole Parker [66:19]: "I think that's a perfect plan, and I wish you well in this."
• Paul F. Tompkins [83:31]: "This episode's guest was played by Anna Garcia."

This episode of "The Neighborhood Listen" masterfully blends comedy with community storytelling, offering listeners an engaging glimpse into the peculiar yet endearing life of Dignity Falls.

Transcript

[Nicole Parker]

With a five dollar meal deal with new McValue. You pick a McDouble or a McChicken.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then get a small fry, a small.

[Garrett]

Drink and a four piece McNuggets.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.

[Nicole Parker]

Prices and Participation may vary.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

McDouble meal $6 in some markets for a limited time only. If you love your phone but not your carrier, just switch to T Mobile. You can keep your phone, keep your number and we'll help pay it off up to $800 per line. You can also use our savings calculator to compare our plans and streaming benefits against Verizon and AT&T. So switch and keep your phone, keep your number and keep more of your moolah. @t mobile.com up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service port in 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally we change the names of some.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Streets and that's all you need to know to support the show and unlock the ad free archive as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the Bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Knock knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half Ave and us burnt and Jode. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any post you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listen and welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls via your two hosts. One of them is me and one of them is sitting right here with me. My name is Burnt via Payday. I am a pharmacist here at Dignity Falls. I'm the pharmacist in chief of the Dignity fallsmassy, the biggest pharmacy in Dignity Falls. And with me, as always, is.

[Nicole Parker]

I just want you to keep talking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I ran out of words, Bert.

[Nicole Parker]

It's so funny because I know sometimes we talked about this. Maybe we haven't talked about it in a while. Sometimes when you were doing the intro, you float above your body and you see yourself down below.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

And it's been so long since I saw it happen. This time I saw the light go from your eyes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Here's what this one was like.

[Nicole Parker]

Take us through it. Walk us through. Through what happened.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was like where I. Step by step, I was floating above my body, looking down at myself.

[Nicole Parker]

It was going well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Trying to talk. And then. But then the. My body was looking up at me. Oh, like, hey, what are you doing up there? Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. You became aware. It was like a lucid moment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We were looking at each other, and then we just both shrugged. But anyway, introduce yourself.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe the word via is what kind of caused it to happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Via.

[Nicole Parker]

I think via was the via because.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I realized I didn't know what word was going to be next. And I couldn't say via the podcast because I'd already introduced the idea.

[Nicole Parker]

The podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We do explore it via the. The neighborhap.

[Nicole Parker]

That's it. But I felt like that was the catalyst.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think in the moment, I was like, it's too early to introduce the concept of the neighborhap. That is later. That comes later.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, maybe later's now. Should we discuss later? Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Answer song to Morrissey.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How soon is now? Later is now.

[Nicole Parker]

Burton, you have such a. You have such a encyclopedic knowledge of film and music.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wouldn't. No, Joan, it's like.

[Nicole Parker]

I think so. Especially of music. For someone who can only sing one tone. You know a lot about music. You can only sing on one note.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe I just love to hear music. Of course.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not from myself.

[Nicole Parker]

Because you can hear all the tones when you listen to me, I can hear all of you know, all of them. Okay, that's good. That's comforting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At least three.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, at least three.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, wait. Well, I want to. I want to get into that. Why don't we.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was a joke reference to Joe Biden, who, when asked if there was how many genders there were, he said, at least three.

[Nicole Parker]

You have such an encyclopedic knowledge of Joe Biden.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the other thing.

[Nicole Parker]

That's the other thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wish. I wish we had Amtrak here because I'd love to. I'd love to have that experience.

[Nicole Parker]

It is weird. It is strange about the rail system in Dignity Falls. It was specifically built to go around our town. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was not like a real train.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. You have to go outside the town to catch your train. A train does not run through our town.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it just runs around it.

[Nicole Parker]

Just around. It just arounds It.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It just around. I mean, you Can't. If you want to get to the other side of town, you can take the train.

[Nicole Parker]

You sure can. Or you can take the plane that we've established. Only it's like you can take a plane from one end of established to the other. Yes, this is. This is established knowledge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Doug]

We do have an internal train that we did establish, by the way, but it is so slow.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, that's right. We had there. We had. We had Pam. It was Choo Choo Pam who runs the local tiny children. Yeah, it's like a children's size train.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I heard she passed away.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Are you serious?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. But then I heard that that was not true.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, good. So maybe we can have her on a follow up episode.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, Unless she's a ghost.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, we've had. We've had a ghoul before, haven't we?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Hit a ghost.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, we had someone. That's right. We had a ghost. That's right. That's right. You don't believe in ghouls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do believe in ghouls.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you do believe in ghouls, not ghosts. I do believe in ghouls. I'm Joan. I don't know if I even said who I am.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You haven't.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, my name is Joan Pedestrian. I'm a realtor and a local actress here in Dignity Falls.

[Doug]

Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

And my husband was the other person you heard. That's Doug, babe. Where. Where are you from today?

[Doug]

Podcast.

[Nicole Parker]

You know. You know it's Viva, right? Not via. But that just. It was just fun. Right?

[Doug]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were doing like a weird owl.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, there you go. You were doing a weird owl. Where are you today, babe?

[Doug]

I am in. See if you can recognize this.

[Nicole Parker]

What am I talking about?

[Garrett]

What do we care?

[Nicole Parker]

Are you at someone else Pickleball court? You're not. You're.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you're at the pickleball court.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, the one in our house now it is. Who is it? Who? Whose voice is worthless?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why don't they care?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's really creepy that you're just recording their game.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. First of all, who are they?

[Doug]

Well, we need some people to test it out. Right.

[Nicole Parker]

But I thought we were gonna invite friends over. Who. Why were. Why didn't we test it out? Who are those women?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Isn't it just lines on the ground?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, and then the rest takes care of itself.

[Doug]

Let me make sure the lines hold cold. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

What did you make?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are they salts? What are those? You're trying to keep out a demon.

[Doug]

This whiteout I use A lot of whiteout.

[Nicole Parker]

You use white out. Do they even make that anymore? Who remembers white out? I mean, no one knows what that is. Anyone younger than a certain liquid paper. That's right.

[Doug]

That would be sad if it doesn't exist anymore. Well, I found a bunch.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would you. And you didn't get really high. Did you get really, really high off that stuff? Because the fumes of that stuff were crazy.

[Doug]

Not on purpose. Did you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have to ask Doug. Did you. Did you paint this pickleball court using whiteout with 1 million tiny bottles of whiteout, or did you somehow get, like a big jug of white?

[Doug]

I don't know. I don't know how to get the industrial strength stuff. You know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like, wait, it's just a matter of strength.

[Nicole Parker]

I also.

[Doug]

Sorry, I mean the size.

[Nicole Parker]

I also have a further question. Were you actually first starting to do the lines with, like, black pen that you messed up, and so then you use the liquid paper, covered up and start over again, and then realized, oh, this works better?

[Doug]

No, it's just.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it was white this long. And I was wrong.

[Doug]

I've never seen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Got a real. No, however, from.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that a T shirt?

[Doug]

It's okay to be wrong.

[Nicole Parker]

Married this long. And I was wrong. I don't know. Sometimes I. Sometimes I get the spidey tingly sense that something's a T shirt. I get all excited and then everyone's like, no, it's not Joan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That feels like a front and backer to me, where it says married this long and then in the back. But I was wrong.

[Nicole Parker]

Right? But if you take too long, you know, if you're walking towards someone, you're not going to turn around to see that bad. If I see it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If I see a graphic tee, you always. I always turn around to see if.

[Nicole Parker]

There'S always a PS on the back. Well, I'll take your word for it.

[Doug]

I've been. Count on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

So wait, Fallen for that too many times.

[Nicole Parker]

How about. I don't think that the pickleball court A is a great place. What have I fallen for?

[Doug]

Just the missing the back message, you know, not understanding fallen.

[Nicole Parker]

What is fallen for it mean? How did you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's tricking you.

[Doug]

It was somewhat of a trick.

[Nicole Parker]

You mean you were just let down because you turned around and there was nothing on the back? Is that what you mean?

[Doug]

No, I mean, where I didn't see the. The punchline or the twist or.

[Nicole Parker]

And you just wondered the rest of the day, how did that story end? How did That T shirt end.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then do you go to these people and say, you swindled me?

[Doug]

I would never.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Doug]

No, I would never.

[Nicole Parker]

He would.

[Doug]

But I would say, like, good. Good play. You know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

Good play.

[Doug]

You got me. If they're walking away.

[Nicole Parker]

Speaking of good play, can you leave the pickleball, please, babe? Because I don't. At least let those ladies play. Who are those ladies? And how'd you find them?

[Doug]

Oh, they were just walking down the.

[Nicole Parker]

Street, and then what'd you say? Just came out of the house, and you're like, hey, yeah, for some pickleball. And they said yes.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

What? Who?

[Doug]

Everyone loves pickleball.

[Nicole Parker]

Who just willingly walks into someone's house? I mean. I mean, I'm glad that they trusted Doug, but I don't think that's great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not great. I mean, even fairy tale children are more cautious than this.

[Doug]

I mean.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Hey, do you want to play some pickleball? Like, walk into a man's house. What is wrong with it? What is this White lotus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The odds of being in the mood for it at the moment, first of all, very high. But then also inside someone's house.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Baby.

[Doug]

They. I think they're very high right now.

[Nicole Parker]

What? Oh, because of the. Oh, God.

[Doug]

So they're having a great time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's why this. The one woman said, what do we care? One of the classic sounds of pickleball.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do we care?

[Nicole Parker]

So burnt. We kind of avoided it last. Last week, but. But Gabby was thinking of moving in, or you were thinking moving in with Gabby and you were feeling a little bit strange about it. So what' the. What's the latest on that? Can we talk about it now?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We talked about it. We went to a couple's counselor.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, good for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we talked about it, and I was. I was really hoping I would win and win.

[Nicole Parker]

Let me just stop you there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not about that. Might have been part of the problem is that it's not about winning. When you go into couples therapy, there's not like. It's not like pickleball.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what I mean? I should not have said win.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Was that just a slip?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was hoping to be the one who was right.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, I get it. Same. It's kind of the same because I think immensely. Mindset.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you don't say that about pickleball. You don't say about who. Who was right.

[Nicole Parker]

Who was right. Someone that would take this thing off. Nicer I was wrong by five points.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So, okay, so.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, let.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

So first of all, I think you maybe went in with an attitude and an expectation that wasn't conducive to therapy and being open to it, but continue.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's easy to say now, but I, I, I did find out. We talked about what my issues might be. And of course, I'm an only child of only children.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So no siblings, no cousins.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And sharing space with someone on a permanent basis, I see, was very scary to me.

[Nicole Parker]

Did Connie come up? You know, I don't know if we've discussed him in a long time, but your.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We haven't talked about him in a while. No. You've been to a liquid.

[Nicole Parker]

Who do you have shared space with? Was that in any way similar or was just. It was different because, you know, he was quieting himself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, I, I feel like there's a tendency to treat me as if I think Connie is sentient. And I know that he's not. I know that he's a doll.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe it's because you make him sound so vibrant and alive and all of your stories about him. Maybe I'm putting that on him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's for, that's for, you know, for fun. You know what I mean? I know he doesn't, he doesn't see me.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you know what? I think it's good that you clarify that. So this. So good. I'm glad. I'm sorry, that I will again next time. All right, so then what did the therapist say to this? And what did Gabby say to this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gabby was very sympathetic. You know, she has a big blended family.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so she was able to understand why that would be challenging for me. And then once I figured that out, of course, I felt better about everything. I did have to talk about how the fear of sharing space stems from the idea that my parents would let people stay with us frequently who always robbed us.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my word.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every single time.

[Nicole Parker]

How did this happen even a second time at all?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They would. Well, because they were very generous people, and since they were only children, they felt like we should make an effort to help people who need help. And so they put an ad in the paper that said, free place to stay.

[Nicole Parker]

What? Wait a second. Second. What? This is absurd.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, they put it. They put it.

[Nicole Parker]

This is negligent. This is terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why is it negligent?

[Nicole Parker]

Because they, they have. You have. They have a child at home, and they're letting in strangers. That's kind of Dangerous, but they're there. I know, but I. It doesn't matter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The worst thing that happened was every time they let somebody in there, we got robbed.

[Nicole Parker]

How much? What things did they rob?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everything.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so you just ended up with nothing. How many times did this happen before they said, that's it. We're done?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This was eight times.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my word.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Over the course of. I would say the.

[Nicole Parker]

For me. Please don't say it was the same people ever. There was one repeat when they come back in disguise.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Barely. And it wasn't even a disguise. He. He came back with glasses, which he needed. Between the. The time that he first robbed us and the time that he came back, his eyes just got a little worse.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think he just had readers before.

[Nicole Parker]

And then he came. Progressives. This is. Of course, you have issues, Burns, and this makes so much sense, by the way. Babe, I hope you're listening, because let strangers into our house, and now they're high, so can you please get them out of here sometime soon?

[Doug]

Well, they're not. There's nothing here they could steal.

[Garrett]

What are you talking about?

[Nicole Parker]

We have, like, 150 rooms at this point in our house full of all sorts of technology.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Coin room.

[Doug]

I'll. Oh, good point. I'll keep them to the. To the court.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. Confine them to the court.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. But you can't lock them in there. They also. Oh, I do not like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What kind of drug have they been taking?

[Doug]

Well, it's the wide out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Doug]

And then.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it's the white out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It gets you very excited.

[Doug]

I've been serving them cornichons. I have a big cornichon platter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you say you consider them cornichons?

[Doug]

I've been serving them.

[Nicole Parker]

I consider them Cornish.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't know what that meant. I consider them Cornish. On.

[Nicole Parker]

Didn't want to. I didn't want to unpack that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're less than nothing to me. I consider them cornichons.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it was real V. Comp Kind of language.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They are nothing but cornichons.

[Nicole Parker]

They are nothing but cornichons.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, of course, cordurons are the little pickles.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Doug]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Which also sometimes called mini gherkins if you're in. If you're in Britain. But Yes.

[Doug]

Cornelius, I thought they were just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was after the Iraq war. They called them mini gherkins because France did not join the coalition of the willing.

[Nicole Parker]

We've gone from. We took a really wacky turn just now. We were talking about something very, very serious and people entering your home and robbing you of things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I just want to. I want to wrap this up neatly in a bow as much as I can. How did this session end? Now that you got all of that, what is the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It ended. We're going to try. No, we're going to. We'll go back if we need to. Okay, great. We're moving forward with the plans.

[Nicole Parker]

Great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A big thing from the therapist was that I should take the locks off of several things in the home.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, like what? And why were they there if you lived alone?

[Doug]

Well, once.

[Nicole Parker]

Once we started talking about this, I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Put locks on things, which, you know, Gabby was rightfully a little insulted by.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. Like what? What kind of things did you lock?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Refrigerator, of course. My jewels.

[Nicole Parker]

Your precious gems.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My precious gems.

[Nicole Parker]

Your uncut gems.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Uncut gems. My. My pearls.

[Nicole Parker]

I did not know you kept pearls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, from my. From my mother. I inherited some.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, I understand some.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Some fancy pearls.

[Nicole Parker]

Interesting. Call them your pearls, though. My pearl, I guess so. Sure enough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's dead.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure, sure. Okay. Gonna take the locks off of those. The refrigerator, I think, is key. What, Babe? What'd you say?

[Doug]

I was just saying. Well, I mean, they still belong to the oyster in some ways.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In some ways.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug is a real oyster activist. He's really trying to give the pearls back to the oysters. You know, he's gone to some protests.

[Doug]

That's the one thing they have.

[Nicole Parker]

It's called hashtag pearlback. He stood outside of the grocery store. Excuse me, I. Can I have a minute of your time for the oysters.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And people saw the pearlback shirt, and they were like, I don't trust this. I want to talk to this guy.

[Doug]

Do you lock your, like, your toiletries up?

[Nicole Parker]

I wondered if you locked your toilet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that's a habit I got from the drugstore, from where I get the pharmacy. Sure. Yes. I put all my, like, razor blades.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, absolutely.

[Doug]

The magnet thing. To open it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And. And it is. You know, when Gabby would have to call me to say, hey, can you unlock the medicine so I can get my Motrin? Then I would have to. I would have to accommodate.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. So there are. It looks like you're gonna have to finally address some things that maybe you've never really faced since you were a child. This is big, big stuff. Burnt. This is really amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's big stuff. And I. You know, there's a. There's a certain amount of it that's difficult because I. I experienced it. There's no one else around to experience this sure. It's just me. So I have to process, establish.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just you, not Connie. Yeah. Got it.

[Doug]

Why is deodorant behind that lock?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't know.

[Doug]

In the pharmacies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, there was, apparently.

[Doug]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I know.

[Nicole Parker]

Deodorant because everything's behind the now. Now you have to push a button for everything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Deodorant is the number one stolen item.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From the pharmacy.

[Nicole Parker]

What? From the pharmacy? Come on. More so than, like, any kind of cough medicine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Any. I'm telling you, Joan, there is a. An ingredient in all commercial deodorants.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not antiperspirants.

[Nicole Parker]

Interesting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But deodorants.

[Doug]

I know what you're gonna say.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, wait, let's let him answer.

[Doug]

It's delicious.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry, are you saying that's the name of the ingredients?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the street name. That's the street name. People are saying, I gotta get some of that. Delicious. If you. If you are to. If you take the. Like. It's your standard. You know, what we used to call roll on. But you have the little screw. You push it up.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Push up deodorant.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Deodorant stick. If you push it all the way out, and you cut it with a pen knife, Irish Spring style.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, sure. Like the commercial.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like the old commercial.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. We're curled with beautiful curl. This is the most beautiful curl.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That looked delicious to me.

[Nicole Parker]

It actually did kind of look like a minty snack.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When they cut that soap, I was.

[Nicole Parker]

Like, then maybe you want to shower. Maybe you want to eat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want to eat and shower.

[Nicole Parker]

I want to eat and shower.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm hungry and dirty.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so then. So they cut off. Then what do you. Do? You have to, like, boil it or what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Once you cut it, you can then melt it down. It has to be broken in order to activate this ingredient, which is dormant when it's just deodorant.

[Nicole Parker]

Where is it sourced from? Is this, like, an opium situation? Does it come from, like, a plant, or is it just like a chemically, you know, manufactured.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is an opium situation, and it comes from Afghanistan.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a great Barbara King solver novel, by the way. I just read it in the Opium situation. Really riveting. It's a page turner. Anyways, that was just a little recommendation. Okay, go on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Barbara Kingsolver wrote that.

[Nicole Parker]

She did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It sounds more like Richard North.

[Nicole Parker]

She decided to get into the thriller.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She added airport thrillers.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, she did. She's like, I don't have an airport thriller.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How come I'm Not.

[Nicole Parker]

No one at the airport wants to buy a book about me farming for a year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm all the way in the back.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want to be up here with the thrillers.

[Nicole Parker]

Opium situation catches that businessman's eye. He's like, yes, this situation, the situation I'm in, I know about those. Okay, so. So why is it an opium situation?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You melt it down and it. That releases a powerful hallucinogenic. You then you. So you boil it in a pot or a pan, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

Double boiler, anything, something. Okay, sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you put a towel over your head.

[Nicole Parker]

Not an air fryer, but it's a totally different situation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's not boiling at all.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's maybe just let him finish.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then can I finish? And then you. You put a towel over your head and the. And the pot. And you inhale. You deeply inhale it.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then you are, as they say, tripping balls.

[Garrett]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

This reminds me of a movie. Oh, no. I'm sorry. I always try to not turn this into a movie podcast. We do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Again, if you're a first time listener. This is not a movie podcast, but we do talk about movies quite a bit.

[Nicole Parker]

But I'm gonna. And here's the problem. And this is why I'm gonna deeply regret bringing this up. I can't remember what the movie is this. But I'm wondering if you remember the scene.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

It's going to be a fish out of water scene. I feel like maybe it's a Tom Hanks movie. I don't know. All I know is classic fow some foul is at some party. He's a real foul.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're a foul.

[Nicole Parker]

It would be what Fish out of. Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because there's the two hoes.

[Doug]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know what's happening anymore. Is there liquid paper in here? Because I feel like it now. I feel like the fumes are coming down the stairs.

[Doug]

Are you asking me?

[Nicole Parker]

Anyways, what happened is there's a man in a. In a bathroom or a kitchen somewhere trying to snort cocaine. And then instead the person who is a foil is like, no, no, here's what you have to do. Pours the cocaine into a. Into a bowl of water, puts a towel over the guy's head and he says, now breathe it in. That'll clear up your sinuses, you know? He ruins his batch of cocaine be. Because he doesn't know what it is because it's either like a Robin Williams or Tom Hanks. It's someone who's like, I can't Remember, it's a pointless story and we'll probably cut it, but I think what I'm going to do is look it up at the break because I, I, it's such a. Because at the time I didn't get the joke because I saw it as a child.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right, right, right. Of course. And you're like, what does this guy care?

[Nicole Parker]

Exactly. It's just weird that you describe the exact same method.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I mean, hey, it's so much different than cocaine because you will be out of your mind on this.

[Nicole Parker]

Just by breathing it through your nose alters reality. Have you done this before? Because the way you're talking about it almost sounds like you have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to do it in pharmacy college. They make a.

[Nicole Parker]

You have to do it at Mount Olympus. That's where you went to pharmacy college.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Which you mean establish is easier to say than pharmacological college. So you just said pharmacy college.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pharmacy college. Yeah, yeah. Mount Olympils. When you're in your final year, you have to do Delicious.

[Nicole Parker]

It's like doing your thesis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But that's what it exactly, they say. You have to understand how good this feels to know why people are trying to steal this deodorant.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. So how does that work? Do you all go in together? Do you? I mean, no, that would be a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Disaster to go in one at a time.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, listen, when like, Marines are going through their final sort of like, training, they all have to go in together and get CS gassed at once. They take off their gas masks and they just go into some room and they just get bombed with this crazy CS gas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like a prank?

[Nicole Parker]

No, like to be able to understand how it feels. Just like you're describing. Like, in order to go forward in this business, you have to explain, we have to understand what this does to the body. So they did it all together. That's why I asked. But you do it individually.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, we do it because it's because of the hallucinogenic properties. It's unwise to have.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. A bunch of people out of their mind. Can you share really quickly because we probably have to go to break soon. But what, what your experience was then when you did it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I saw the devil and he was adorable. He was a cute little fat devil, little horns, chubby cheeks. And he said, I'm not so bad, right?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well, I'm not up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then God came in.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And God looked like the leprechaun from the movie the Leprechaun.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's horrifying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Except in white robes, not in a leprechaun.

[Nicole Parker]

That doesn't make it any better.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he said, and I'm not so good, am I? And I said, you guys are just canceling each other out. And they looked at each other.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they went, gulp. And then they turned to dust.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's really powerful. Well, it's amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

I learned something new today.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I woke up in the train station.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you did? Wait a minute. But I thought they were supposed to be monitoring you. You're at your college.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I never said that.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you're just supposed to go do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It on your own to get the full experience.

[Nicole Parker]

I thought it was, like, monitored. Like you had a guide.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no.

[Nicole Parker]

They just gave it to you at the very.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Give it to you at the college. This is so you have the complete experience.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You understand what it does.

[Nicole Parker]

They must lose a lot of students.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, we're not. I mean, I. This is. No, I'm not trying to denigrate the Marines at all, but it must be nice to just be in a room and have a little nap.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't really nap while their sinuses are being burned from the inside out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Whose aren't?

[Nicole Parker]

Can't argue with that. Babe, is it time to go to break?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. All right, we'll be right back.

[Nicole Parker]

We need to really acknowledge that he just gave us a straight. Yeah, well, because we didn't supposed to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because we didn't ask him to. Ask him how long we've been.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, all right. That's what I'm gonna do from now on.

[Doug]

And I was. And I was scolded and condemned.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and condemned. Oh, by the women. By the pickleball speaking up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What about just now?

[Doug]

I interrupted you just now.

[Nicole Parker]

Condemned seals. Feels like a very.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't remember any harsh word.

[Doug]

Rigid finger of blame.

[Nicole Parker]

What are you. Are you on delicious right now? What's going on?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The rigid finger of blame.

[Nicole Parker]

The rigid finger of blame. Is that like the cousin to the fickle finger of fate?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Doug]

Indeed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Indeed. Well, we're gonna take a break, and when we come back, the neighborhood listen will continue. Nicole, great news. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns Early.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, April, as we've been talking about, is financial literacy month. The perfect time to start teaching your kids the value of money. And Acorns early makes it easy with their smart money app and debit card for kids.

[Nicole Parker]

Acorns Early's chores tracker teaches kids that hard work pays off. You just set up tasks in the app set a payment amount and tick the chart off when it's done. Savings goals help kids turn savings into a habit and they can even choose their own target dates and turn on the optional auto save feature to help them get there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And kids get a new sense of independence when they spend what they earn with their very own debit card.

[Nicole Parker]

That's cool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they get to choose from 35 plus customizable card designs. I wish I had that actually. Plus, kids can build up their money knowledge and their confidence with bite sized financial lessons. The Acorns early app has tons of fun interactive courses that help kids learn about all things money.

[Nicole Parker]

Parents can keep track of where and when their kids are spending. You get real time spend notifications. You can set your kids spending limits and instantly block lost or stolen cards. Acorns early lets parents pay allowances automatically. That is actually really handy. No more rummaging around for cash. God knows I rummage automatically send a weekly allowance to your kids account with just a few taps.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now look, I don't have any kids, but I was a kid and I didn't know about money. I had to learn it the hard way.

[Nicole Parker]

Right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It sucked.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. So if you are ready to help your kids grow money skills that will last a lifetime, just head to acornserly.com TNL or download the Acorns early app to get started. Sign up now and your first month is on us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Acorns early card is issued by Community Federal Savings bank member FDIC pursuant to license by MasterCard International. TNCs apply monthly subscription fee starting from $5 per month unless canceled.

[Nicole Parker]

That was so great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. This episode is brought to you by Huel. Huel Black Edition Ready to Drink is a meal in a bottle. One bottle contains 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals, and is low in sugar. Huel is a perfectly balanced meal designed by nutrition experts. And it takes the guesswork out of healthy eating. Look, it's got vitamin C, which supports the immune system. It's got vitamin B12, which reduces tiredness and fatigue. It's got 35 grams of protein. Yes. Which supports growth and muscle mass. And it's a source of calcium, which contributes to the normal function of digestive enz. I want those to be functioning normally. Now. Huel sent me a bunch of stuff and I've been drinking it. And let me tell you something. It's so convenient, especially for somebody like me. I'm running around all the time. I grab one of these bottles when I leave the house so that between engagements I Can have one of these without having to stop at a restaurant for a meal or buy a super expensive coffee or something to give me a little boost. And they taste really good. They taste like milkshakes. They got all these different flavors. Strawberry, banana, vanilla, chocolate, iced coffee. They're all good. Convenience, affordability, taste. The three pillars new customers. Visit Huell.com TNL today. That's H U E-L.com TNL use our code TNL to get 15% off your first order plus a free gift. That is Huell.com TNL get 15% off your first order. First order plus a free gift today. Nicole.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hate telling you this. Oh, vacation season is nearly upon us.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I think that's great news.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I'm glad you say that because this year I'm treating myself to the luxe upgrades that I deserve with Quince's high quality travel essentials at fair prices.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you talking about like lightweight European linen styles from $30, washable silk tops and comfy lounge sets with premium luggage options and stylish tote bags to carry it all?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

You want to know what the best part is?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

All Quince Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middle man and passes the savings on to us. And let me just tell you right now when we're going to talk about an item I just got from them. It's a, it's a wonderful, literally transitional. Can wear it for any event. A great white T shirt, a blouse that buttons down. It's fantastic. I love it so much.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Got a shark on it.

[Nicole Parker]

It doesn't have a shark on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's a white T shirt. That's great. I see. I myself treated myself with our discount to a cashmere hoodie.

[Garrett]

Ooh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've never had anything this luxurious.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I love that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Most comfortable garment I own and I protect it with my life. I'm going to call everybody to action for your next trip. Treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from quints. Go to quints.com tns for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com tnl this is Sheena and I've got 10 white folding chairs for $100. Anyone interested in buying 10 white folding chairs, brand new, barely used once two weeks ago, bought off Amazon with tax $145 selling for 100 pickup in Dignity Falls. Please message me. Bomb two weeks ago, used them. Once I got struck by lightning. My entire life was upended. I saw the world differently. I don't use chairs anymore, and I barely sit at all because life's too short. Life's too short to be sitting around. So if. But I'm not judging you. If you want to buy the chairs. Should phrase this differently. But. But it is. You don't worry. It is the chairs you're thinking of. It's white plastic chairs with a metal frame. It's the kind of plastic chair where it generates a static electricity for some reason, and you end up shocking yourself and other people around you. And I got a hundred of them. So if you have a hundred people who. I'm just realizing now, was it the chair that attracted the lightning? Huh? I tell you what. If you want to have a new outlook on life, buy these chairs and. And you and nine of your favorite people can all get struck by lightning together and become a. A wonderful super team of enlightened people who don't need to sit no more anymore. All right, Sheena. This is Sheena on the cena, and you gotta not be Mina, because lightning comes first off, if we sit on the chair. Goodbye. Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. And we have a guest.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As we do on every episode, we have scoured the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, looking for interesting people in Dignity Falls to talk to, with whom to talk. Oh, and this week is no different. We have a guest here. And this is a post sent in by a listener. If you see a post that you think we've missed and you'd like to send it to us, write to [e-mail] Screenshot the post and put it in the attachment.

[Nicole Parker]

Burnt. That was great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And this person did that. His name is Tom Cross. He submitted this. This is one we missed. This is in the In Search of section. And a person named Garrett says, any pros?

[Nicole Parker]

It's okay. Don't look at the guy. Don't look at the U above you. You can do this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Garrett says, any prospecting groups on here, money ain't worth nothing no more. So I figured I'd get to digging my property, my mineral rights is my thinking. I'm down about 20ft. I'm down about 20ft, but gonna have to find a way to start moving these dirt and clay mounds running out of space in my lot. Also need to figure out how to keep These teetotalers from the city. Out of my business. Well, maybe we can help. Here is Garrett. Garrett. Welcome to the neighborhood list, Garrett.

[Garrett]

Morning.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, good morning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Morning to you.

[Nicole Parker]

Good morning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Morning to you.

[Garrett]

Morning, boys.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, it's so funny. It sounds exactly like I heard in the. In how that post was written.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. I was. It was very tempting to do a voice, and I thought.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sure. But, no, we have the. We have the burnt man right here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have the burnt man right here.

[Garrett]

Hello.

[Nicole Parker]

Hello. So I guess first, can you tell me what area that you're in? Because I know we do have some interesting minerals in Dignity Falls, Some that are native only to our town. But what minerals are you looking to dig up?

[Garrett]

Wait, one more time. Where am I?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, sorry.

[Garrett]

What'd you ask me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You did. I was confused by that as well.

[Garrett]

Because you said, where am I? And then you said, what minerals?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I guess, I mean, what area of Dignity Falls? What neighborhood do you live in at Dignity Falls?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because that would determine what kind of minerals that you have.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. I'm so sorry.

[Garrett]

No, it's cool.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm really high from some liquid pue perfumes that my husband has been using. So I apologize. That's all right.

[Garrett]

I do that all the time.

[Nicole Parker]

Go ahead, Garrett. Tell us your story. Tell us some things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry. What do you do all the time?

[Garrett]

Oh, I do liquid paper.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you do it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Inhale it.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, interesting. What a coincidence. Isn't that a coincidence?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is a real coincidence.

[Nicole Parker]

Coincidence. So sorry, can you rephrase my question, Bernt? I think I did it wrong.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Garrett, what part of. What part of the neighborhood do you live in and what minerals are you looking for? Question.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I'm on Abraham Lincoln Boulevard.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, sure.

[Doug]

Our 16th Boulevard.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's correct. They did them in order.

[Garrett]

I didn't know that.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. So I know they've got a lot of copper down under. Oh, yeah.

[Garrett]

The mineral part. I'm looking for. I'm looking for rubies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're rubies?

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, I'm going to tell you, I don't know much about rubies. Do they come from a mine? I guess they do everything. All these precious gems come from mines.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. Diamond, emeralds. Yes. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All rocks come from the.

[Nicole Parker]

That is the truth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is true.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Even. Even in the mighty mountain. Started out in the dirt.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. So you say you're 20ft down. Are you doing this by yourself? That's a long way to go down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A shovel.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. How do I do that?

[Garrett]

I got a shovel. I got a shovel from Ace Hardware.

[Nicole Parker]

And shout out and it's pretty.

[Garrett]

It's pretty good.

[Nicole Parker]

It's.

[Garrett]

I, I, I, I also sharpened it myself, so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sharpened it.

[Garrett]

Yeah, the shovel.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure, sure. Yeah. That was. Yeah, that. I, Yeah, I infer that.

[Garrett]

And so I can dig probably better than anyone with that.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, I would say so, but how so? Well, okay. With you. With one single shovel, you. You dug 20ft down. Down. How long did that take?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was.

[Nicole Parker]

Joan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You read my mind.

[Garrett]

How long it take?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Garrett]

Hour and a half.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You dug 20ft in an hour.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Garrett]

Sharp shuffle, sharp shovel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, I guess, but still, you have to lift up the dirt and throw it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a lot of man power.

[Garrett]

The hardest part is dealing with the mounds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Saying yes.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Because they're. They take up so much space Face.

[Nicole Parker]

So, yeah. Now that we're. Yes. Let's get back into dirt and clay. Mount dirt and clay mounts.

[Garrett]

The clay was Been exciting.

[Nicole Parker]

The clay was Been excited.

[Garrett]

Are you making fun of me? I'm not.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm not. I really. What I meant to do with that question is get some detail as to why it was exciting.

[Garrett]

I see what kind of people you are.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We always want everyone to feel comfortable. Come as you are.

[Garrett]

I see what's happening.

[Nicole Parker]

To be honest, it's almost hypnotic. I find your. Your, you know, listen, I have to say, I am a local actress. I find myself sort of emulating people's energy and sometimes their accents.

[Garrett]

Were you in a musical recently?

[Nicole Parker]

I was.

[Garrett]

Okay. The one about birds?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes, I did. Birds, the musical based on the Hitchcock film.

[Garrett]

Oh, yeah, I saw that. My buddy Clark was in it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, my goodness. I didn't know that you two were friends.

[Garrett]

It was Pigeon.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Clark was Pigeon, and there were two roles. There was. There was me and there was Pigeon, and. And Clark had to actually portray a bunch of different birds as well.

[Garrett]

But Pigeon was more than just Pigeon. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. No, but that was. Was his main.

[Garrett]

That was the.

[Nicole Parker]

At the crux was a love story. Yeah. With the big song. Yes.

[Garrett]

Which I thought was beautiful. I never seen. I had never seen a musical theater before, so I was really excited.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did that song go again?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, it was a rap song. Yeah.

[Garrett]

Clark practiced it for weeks.

[Nicole Parker]

Which I thought was very odd to shove in there. But now the only rap song in the musical. Yeah. Because it's two. It's these two upstart lyricists. And musician Pickwick and Pa. And they. They went to college together. They've done all these musical workshops. You know, they're a big deal. Everyone wants to sing a Pickwick and Paper song.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

They do a lot of song cycles. You know, they're inspired by Pasek and Paul, who wrote Greatest Showman.

[Garrett]

And they did La La Land.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that true?

[Nicole Parker]

It is true.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Greatest Showman people did La La Land.

[Nicole Parker]

I think so.

[Garrett]

I actually don't know if they did Greatest Showman.

[Nicole Parker]

I think it's amazing that you know these shows, though. I wouldn't guess that you a prospector digging in your hole.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you a theater?

[Garrett]

Here's the thing. I went and saw that musical, rather the Birds.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

And I really was sort of taken by it. So I've been listening to a lot of. I've been listening to a lot of cast recordings. I watched some musical movies.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. And you know what he really calls it? The Right Thing. Because it's not an album if it's. It's a musical. It's an original cast recording. Thank you for that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because of your friend Clark.

[Nicole Parker]

Clark.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I would say he's probably my third best friend.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. And who were the other two?

[Garrett]

Simone.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

And then my mom.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's sweet. Now, do you live with your mom?

[Garrett]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Far. She's far.

[Garrett]

She's really far.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, where's far? Where is she?

[Garrett]

So she's on a worldwide cruise.

[Nicole Parker]

A worldwide.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. How long has she been at Sea now?

[Garrett]

276 days.

[Nicole Parker]

Excuse me. Wow. I'm not even sure. I didn't know they allowed that. Is it the same cruise?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How. How long is the trip total?

[Garrett]

So it's as long as you won't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, right.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? I just haven't heard of this kind of cruise. How. How interesting.

[Garrett]

You can. You can go for as many date like, my mom is currently scheduled for 450 days on this cruise.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. Okay. Okay. That must be hard with her being one of your best friends being gone.

[Garrett]

It's really difficult because the cruise doesn't have WI Fi.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, really? Oh, wow.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And then who is Simone Alone?

[Garrett]

Oh, Simone. Simone lives three doors down from me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, great.

[Garrett]

Yeah, she's awesome.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So do you live alone?

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah, I live alone.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And what do you do for a living?

[Garrett]

I dig.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, you mean in other places, though? I mean, you're not talking about your. Like, are you paid to dig someplace else?

[Garrett]

Oh, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry. I'm going to be doing. I'm Going to be digging for a living once I get the rubies. I. I sell mortgages. I'm a laptop.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, now, you said on.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I know. I think we both heard, I'm a laptop. I'm a laptop.

[Garrett]

You guys make them in my game.

[Nicole Parker]

We were just clarifying what you said, and I'm very sorry. Maybe there is a little bit of a. Of a delay in the. In. In. In what we're hearing.

[Garrett]

I can hear. I can hear you guys in real time. So it's just interesting.

[Nicole Parker]

Delay might not have been the right word.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where are you from originally?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's a great question.

[Garrett]

I'm from way down Southwest.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, way down southwest. Dignity Falls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Huh. Yeah, it's a. It's a part of, like, if you looked map of Dignity Falls, it kind of jets off the down down to the. Like a. Like, it looks like Florida, basically. We have, like, a mini Florida in. In Dignity Falls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

We call it the Florida of Dignity Falls. It is.

[Nicole Parker]

It's the Florida of dignity.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that's. That's where, like, the French Canadian quarter is.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Good poutine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good, Peter. Now, Garrett.

[Nicole Parker]

What? That's one of my favorite greetings.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's so nice.

[Garrett]

No, it originated from that area.

[Nicole Parker]

Imagine that. Right. Thank goodness. So now put poutine on the coffee cups again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What? Put. What put rubies into your mind?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, good question.

[Garrett]

So I was looking. Well, so here's the thing. Geographically. So, okay, so I was on Craigslist and someone said they found a root. They found a ruby ring. Ring. Oh, on the street.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Garrett]

And I was like, oh, there must just a ruby naturally found in my area. Like.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, okay, go on. Yeah, please.

[Garrett]

So I assume, like, rubies must be natural to the area and so consumption.

[Nicole Parker]

That you really care about. Yeah.

[Garrett]

And I, you know, I haven't found any yet, but I think that I just have to get deeper.

[Nicole Parker]

Have you found.

[Garrett]

I also love wizard of Vows.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that would make sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. The trick with the ruby is that it was in a ring setting, you know, which means it probably didn't. You know, it was probably bought in a store and someone just dropped it or lost it.

[Garrett]

Yeah, but they probably bought it around here.

[Nicole Parker]

That is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Could be. Yes. But. But that doesn't.

[Nicole Parker]

Probably wasn't mined here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's locally sourced. Rubies.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Okay. You guys are gonna feel so stupid when I find rubies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know what? If you do, I will.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I mean, the only sort of naturally occurring, like, we know we've had some digs and we've had some.

[Garrett]

What do you mean some digs?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, and then in town, Dignity Falls. Yeah, that's exactly. Exactly.

[Garrett]

They. What you guys find out when you were digging?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, no. Well, my husband has Doug. His name is Doug, but he's also Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

His name is what he has done.

[Nicole Parker]

That's pretty cool.

[Doug]

Lots of cans, lots of tabs, like the old 70s tabs that would slice your foot open.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, but. So what have you found, baby?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jimmy Buffett song in the Jimmy Buffett.

[Nicole Parker]

Again with that knowledge of music. What have you found when you. Because Doug has. Has digged, however you want to say it, into our earth. Doug is Doug. And what have you found? Have you found anything?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug is Doug. Doug is Doug.

[Garrett]

I'm Garrett. It's nice to meet you.

[Doug]

It's nice to meet you. I'm Doug.

[Garrett]

Hey.

[Doug]

And I have dug a lot and there are gems in that. In those holes.

[Nicole Parker]

What kinds of those holes?

[Garrett]

My man, Tell me everything. Well, first of all, tell me how many feet.

[Nicole Parker]

Take it away, Doug.

[Doug]

I. I got a good. What do you think? 35, 40 foot?

[Nicole Parker]

What? What do I say?

[Garrett]

I got some more.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you say?

[Nicole Parker]

What do you say? He wants me to say, but I've never been down there digging with him.

[Doug]

Doug, here's the thing. I agree with you entirely. We own down to the magma in this.

[Nicole Parker]

In this. See that?

[Garrett]

That is my stonks platform that I'm sitting on.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well then you are in a great place right now.

[Garrett]

But I'm telling you, people from the freaking city are coming breathing down my neck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You call them teetotalers.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, they are tears.

[Garrett]

Teetot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What does that mean to you? That word?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Garrett]

Teeth totalers.

[Doug]

I love that word.

[Nicole Parker]

Good word.

[Garrett]

It means that they're. That they're no fun. Tight lipped, raw brained, no boozers. Haven't thought a thought in their lives.

[Nicole Parker]

Such an incredible slight to say haven't sunk even one thought. It really is, Rob.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They haven't had a thought. That's why their brains are raw.

[Garrett]

That's how I see him. And that's how they act.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. And who are they? Like, who are you talking about in this moment?

[Garrett]

Well, I mean, everyone from the city's breathing down my neck. I'm telling you, like city council sort of come for me.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

I had a representative from the state come.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Garrett]

I know, I know. The mayor has paid well. He had. He's. He was too town. But he was close. Okay, but he was Upset when he heard about what was going on with the dig in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Can I. Can I ask you if you have found anything as you dug, like, anything at all that was interesting?

[Garrett]

I found so much.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What'd you find?

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Garrett]

There's a bunch of porcelain dolls.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's a little creepy.

[Doug]

Intact.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, no, no. For. I started by finding the face of a porcelain doll.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Lord, that. I would have been frightened.

[Garrett]

Cut my finger on it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

And then I kept digging, and about in the same area as the face, I found two intact porcelain. Porcelain dolls. In dress.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. In dress and dress. Okay.

[Garrett]

Yep.

[Nicole Parker]

And. And so are we assuming that maybe someone who previously lived there buried these dolls? Or maybe just they.

[Garrett]

I would be. I would be shocked if everyone went into their backyard and dug and didn't find a porcelain doll.

[Nicole Parker]

Specifically a porcelain doll, because you found three. There's apparently no more explanation needed. Burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I mean, I have to concede it is more porcelain dolls than I would expect to find if I was taking Same.

[Nicole Parker]

Same.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know, but I. I noticed. Garrett, I think you. You have a tendency, if I may, to extrapolate from.

[Garrett]

I don't know, that one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, well, that's. You sort of say, okay, found a ruby ring on the ground.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

You found one.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no, no, no. He's doing a. He's just. He's repeating what you said.

[Garrett]

Oh, sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm doing Elisa Lope. You say that you found a ring on the ground. Found. There must be rubies around here. Sure. You say you found three porcelain dolls in the ground.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They must be all over Dignity Falls.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I agree, but.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know. Well, you agree because it's what you say, but, I mean, these are. These are big. These are big leaps is what is my point.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Okay. And anything else about that, or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I mean, okay, let's. Let's. Let's confine it to the rubies just for now. You say you have a laptop. Have you done any research into where rubies might be and how easy they are to find?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, interesting. That is a good question.

[Garrett]

I. I texted my mom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, that's not.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. But I thought you said that she didn't have wi. Fi.

[Garrett]

Yeah, she hasn't responded yet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Well, that's as far as the research has gone, I guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So until you hear from her, it's full steam ahead.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's right. She's gonna know better than anybody, because we really. I mean, we are known for Having. We are known for having some naturally occurring minerals. I mean, we have a naturally occurring styrofoam that many people have dug down and found.

[Garrett]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

We have a steel wool quarry. What was it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Steel wool.

[Nicole Parker]

Say that three times. Steel wool. Correct. Quarry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Steel wool quarry.

[Garrett]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Steel wool.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just not been a good business because nobody can say it right. But. But I've never ever heard of someone, you know, striking rubies in the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Something valuable. No, I've not heard about that.

[Garrett]

Yeah, well, that's just a matter of time. I don't think anyone's been digging quite as fast.

[Nicole Parker]

It could be a matter of time. It could also just be a matter of they're not being here, you know?

[Garrett]

So you guys aren't dreamers?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I hate to be put in that box.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That seems unfair.

[Nicole Parker]

But. But I mean, I would. I would say it's practical, you know, and. But I really. Man, I really am still just shocked that you were able to dig a 20 foot hole in an hour and a half. Yeah.

[Garrett]

Where's Dig Dig.

[Nicole Parker]

His name's Doug.

[Doug]

Oh, Dig dug.

[Garrett]

Okay. So his name's Dig Dug Dug.

[Nicole Parker]

It's one of his favorite games.

[Garrett]

How fast do you dig?

[Doug]

Not as fast because I didn't sharpen my shovel.

[Garrett]

It's all about.

[Nicole Parker]

But when he was digging, he did have the sound track back.

[Garrett]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

He said it helped him go get in a rhythm.

[Doug]

I think I did invent a shovel at one point. I think I did talk about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think you invented a shovel at one point?

[Doug]

Yeah, like, I'm pretty sure.

[Nicole Parker]

I think she invents things all the time.

[Doug]

It kind of shot out, you know, like a lightsaber.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes.

[Garrett]

That sounds so awesome.

[Doug]

Yeah. It just did not throw the dirt far at all. Just went in my face.

[Nicole Parker]

Got it. What you end up doing.

[Garrett]

Doing with your. What you end up doing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's inconvenient.

[Garrett]

What you end up doing with all your mounds. My dude.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, Doug. The problem with.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you have any clay?

[Garrett]

This was awesome.

[Doug]

The clay was awesome.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Everybody agrees that the clay is awesome.

[Garrett]

The clay is really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is it about the clay?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Doug]

Something so exciting.

[Garrett]

There's something really thrilling about getting to the level of clay.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? I think it'd be harder to dig through, and that would be not exciting.

[Garrett]

It is harder. Harder to dig through.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I have to have a sharp shovel.

[Garrett]

You have to have a sharp shovel. It's really rewarding. And you can build stuff out of the clay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, that makes more sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Build stuff.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. What did you build sculpture?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, I guess it counts as building.

[Doug]

You can do claymation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you could.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that would take some time.

[Garrett]

Not if you sharpen the clay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, it's fine.

[Doug]

I mean, well, you got the clay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Clay is.

[Nicole Parker]

I do love claymation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I love, I love it so, so much. Wallace or Grommet?

[Nicole Parker]

Wallace or Grommet. Either one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It. Yeah.

[Garrett]

Isn't that Teletubbies?

[Nicole Parker]

Did you do a claymation of Teletubbies with.

[Garrett]

No. Aren't those little guys clay?

[Nicole Parker]

I wasn't under the impression they were.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're people in costumes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Doug]

No way.

[Garrett]

Those guys are like one foot tall.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I think that they're.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think that's movie magic. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Or women watch while they're doing delicious. So, okay, so the clay's exciting. We've established that. Sure. And so what? What would make you decide? Guess what? I think there might not be rubies in here. And then you would move on to something else.

[Garrett]

Well, here's the thing. And I'm gonna be completely honest with you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please.

[Garrett]

Finding a ruby would be awesome.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Garrett]

I've now grown a big passion for digging.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. You said you wanted to do it for your living. Now after this.

[Garrett]

Yeah, exactly. I want to do it.

[Nicole Parker]

That was contingent on you finding the ruby, right? That's what you had said.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you found the rubies. It would then become your profession.

[Garrett]

Yeah, cuz I need to prove my worth.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. So what happens if you don't find a ruby?

[Garrett]

I'm going to have to figure something else out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you can think about that now.

[Garrett]

No, I have to find the ruby first.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I think he really.

[Doug]

Once you got rubies, you don't need a job.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I, I think that's what he's betting on. But that's like expecting every lot of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Garrett]

How old are you?

[Doug]

I'm up there.

[Garrett]

You and me both, brother.

[Doug]

Been around this, this block a few times.

[Nicole Parker]

Nice.

[Garrett]

I feel kindred ship here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Kindred ship. Now I almost called you Doug Garrett. I, I do think, and this is. I'm not trying to talk you out of your passion for digging.

[Garrett]

Okay? You guys sound like some of those teetotalers.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no, no. I don't want to be labeled a teetotale.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Look, I sometimes will drink an entire handle of vodka by myself.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, this is true. I've seen it.

[Garrett]

That's my Friday dark snack stuff. Dude.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I, I think you can dig. But I do think that it's good to have just an idea of what to Do. In case this doesn't pan out. How long are you going to give.

[Nicole Parker]

It before you say yeah? Yes.

[Garrett]

Well, I want to make it to 200ft.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a lot. Although I was going to say it's actually not going to take him that long.

[Garrett]

It's not going to take me that long. That long. But if I can't find anything and I'm trying to have. I'm trying to get two. I went 200ft deep and then 40ft wide.

[Nicole Parker]

Whoa. So the whole. The whole yard. That's the part.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The whole yard.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I. I do. I know that you said that. I. I'm so confused as to how you are able to support your lifestyle right now because you said that your job will be digging. What do you do? What did you do before you started digging?

[Garrett]

Well, I sell mortgages on my laptop.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, they correct.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So then you're not a laptop, but you have a laptop.

[Garrett]

No, I'm not. I'm clearly not a laptop.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you successful at it? Because it's interesting. You know, I'm a realtor. I just haven't. I haven't been familiar with your.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a great question, I think, to ask anyone when they tell you what they're doing.

[Garrett]

Are you successful at it? Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, only asking because I'm a realtor. I want. Maybe I want to work with.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's not just confine it to show business. I think anybody you should ask and are you successful? Successful at it?

[Garrett]

I would be.

[Nicole Parker]

Why did showbiz come up?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It seems like it's a question that people ask people in show business a lot if they don't know who you are.

[Garrett]

Well, when I found out you were an actor, I almost asked you if you sucked ass or not.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, well. Well, I mean, dignity falls. So maybe there is a little bit of truth to that. I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan, you're the top. You are the best actor in dignity.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But hands. What about. Hey, hey, no offense to Clark.

[Nicole Parker]

Clark. Clark is great. Great.

[Garrett]

Clark was Incredible. He played 17 different birds.

[Nicole Parker]

He spit those pigeon rhymes. So, so great. He really. He nailed those pigeon bars.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug immediately went to a rhyme for the word pigeon.

[Nicole Parker]

What was it, babe?

[Doug]

Smidgen.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Yeah. That's the only one I could come up with.

[Doug]

Fridgin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fridgin.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what he calls going for a snack in the middle of the night.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you think?

[Garrett]

Legion.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Legion. Slant rhyme.

[Doug]

You can make it work.

[Nicole Parker]

I made him a sign called has gone Fridging.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Women love him. Fridges fear him.

[Nicole Parker]

So sorry. I didn't mean to. Okay, you don't have to answer that question. What? I do want to.

[Garrett]

I would be offended if. If I wasn't amazing, but I'm so good.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's so great.

[Garrett]

Y.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, maybe I'll have to. You know, I. It's all. I love to always have people's recommend, you know, to any client. People are looking for an escrow company or mortgage company you work with. What is your. Do you have a company name? Is it just your name?

[Garrett]

No, it's a. It's a company that I work for.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. What's the company?

[Garrett]

It's called Hanks.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. I think I maybe have heard of.

[Garrett]

Hank's big mortgage house.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Oh, right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have seen the building.

[Nicole Parker]

It's in a big. Right. It used to be a bakery. It's a gig. Gigantic muffin.

[Garrett]

I. That's actually a big topic of debate.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why is it shaped like a gigantic.

[Garrett]

Well, because it used to be a muffin warehouse.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. Muffin warehouse. You know the muffin warehouse.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I forgot about the muffin warehouse.

[Garrett]

They don't bake the muffins there. But they keep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, they keep them there. And I. Because I remember you'd buy one and it would say stored with pride. At the muffin warehouse.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, There's a seal on it and everything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're really bragging about it being stored there.

[Garrett]

Well, apparently it had the ideal humidity and temperature, which is very difficult to achieve. Muffins moist over the course of like a decade.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because you would see the date on it.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It didn't. It would not have an expire. An expiry date. It would have a. The date baked.

[Garrett]

Yeah, the date baked. And then the day they started.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

86.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Doug]

I remember they put the stupid.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The.

[Doug]

The muffin dress. You know, they just put that on everything that was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Paper.

[Doug]

The dressage, of course, my husband call.

[Nicole Parker]

Would call the paper the dress. I've never heard you say that, babe. The muffin dress. Oh, my goodness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are they called? A paper cup.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Sleeve is what it's called. Yes, your sleeve. Certainly not a dress, but, you know.

[Garrett]

No, but it's beautiful to think of it that way.

[Nicole Parker]

It sure is.

[Doug]

On all the door knobs. You had to peel that off. And the way they store the muffins, there was like multiple layers of that.

[Nicole Parker]

There was. Yeah, they did a documentary on it at one point. He means in the. In. In the storage. In the warehouse.

[Garrett]

Yeah. For sanitary purposes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. So I haven't.

[Nicole Parker]

So the idea was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I really do have to get clarity.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So the idea was in the, In. In the. The muffin warehouse itself, there would be those paper things on the door knobs, and you have to peel those off before you could turn the doorknob.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then we can move on.

[Doug]

Got it.

[Nicole Parker]

And they did serve muffin tops as well. They did also sell exclusively, you know, muffin tops.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which two people with muffin tops, they said, this is only for you guys.

[Garrett]

That's. And that's ultimately why they went out of business.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because I don't know if people wanted to.

[Nicole Parker]

There's just a bunch of bottom half there with. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Their tightest pants on.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Decapitated muffin bodies in their dresses. I mean, that's just. It's. It's bleak.

[Garrett]

Yep.

[Nicole Parker]

So. All right, so now I understand. Now I have an idea of. Of where you work. And then the other question I had was, have you. When did you post this? I don't know if we saw the date on there. Have you heard from anybody else that has found other minerals?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fellow prospect.

[Nicole Parker]

Because that's what you were asking, I think, right.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I was asking if there was any fellow. Any fellow prospectors. Yeah, I've heard from two people.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

Which is really thrilling.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Well, the first person was like, kill yourself.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's very strong.

[Nicole Parker]

That's. That's. Is that all it said?

[Garrett]

Yes, it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I'm not sure that that counts as hearing back from two people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Kill yourself.

[Nicole Parker]

That's horrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because you expressed a desire to.

[Garrett]

I think it was my across the street neighbor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, really? Why do you sort of have an ongoing contentious relationship with.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Jammy's upset because every time.

[Nicole Parker]

Jammy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jammy.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, now in that case. In that case, we heard correctly. Yeah.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Jammy. Jammy is upset because that's short for something like Jamison. I don't. I've never asked.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

But yeah, Jammy, it's J A M M. I. Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Garrett]

So Jammy is across the street and has never been a fan of any of my sort of excursions or adventures, but has.

[Nicole Parker]

Has.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are some of the other things?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I'd love to know, because do they affect excursions?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they affect Jammy's life in any way?

[Garrett]

Well, sometimes it's loud.

[Nicole Parker]

What's another example of one of your excursions or adventures?

[Garrett]

Well, I tried to cook an entire meal on the hottest day year on. On the sidewalk.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. Like, you know, frying an Egg on your car. Etc.

[Garrett]

Yeah, but I wanted to do. I wanted to do a turkey.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like a Thanksgiving turkey on the sidewalk.

[Nicole Parker]

That doesn't sound appealing. Did it work?

[Garrett]

No. And then because it didn't.

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Garrett]

And then because it didn't work, I abandoned it. So I left the turkey on the sidewalk.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear goodness.

[Garrett]

Jammy was upset about. Cuz she. She could see it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Garrett]

Sort of getting ravaged by the local creatures and stuff.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh dear. That's those local creatures. So is it just the turkey? Just a turkey on the side. Where? Do you have like other fixes?

[Garrett]

No, no, they were mashed potatoes.

[Nicole Parker]

How'd those do?

[Garrett]

Mashed potatoes and green beans. And I also did a bread pudding.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

The green beans actually turned out not bad.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do feel like it would be hard to bake on the sidewalk, much less.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cook.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Garrett]

Yeah. But I had like three magnifying glasses also pointing at it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Trying to picture this. It's just something else. I can see why Jammy might have been upset. It's a little unsanitary, really. You know, just some raw meat sitting on the.

[Garrett]

I'm just saying not if you cook it.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure. In the best situation you will have cooked it. Okay, so I don't like the fact that you got a first response that was just that kill yourself. What was the other one?

[Garrett]

It was signed Jammy.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it was signed Jammy. That was definitely Jammy. Okay, who is the second one from? Or what did it say?

[Garrett]

Well, the second one is a person I didn't. I had. I had never even heard of. Her name was Emerald.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, promising.

[Garrett]

And she was like, we have. We have meetings. We have meetings of, of people that are trying to find like precious material in the town.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you are not alone. There are other prospects.

[Garrett]

It seems to be that there's at least two others. Emerald was implying that there's a group that meets. So I guess two or three others.

[Nicole Parker]

Did she invite you to a meeting?

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, did you go?

[Garrett]

Yeah, I went to the meeting.

[Nicole Parker]

What happened? How many people?

[Garrett]

It was on Sunday.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, ok. So exciting.

[Garrett]

It was in the church basement.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Garrett]

What about it?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Would love to hear more.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Less logistics.

[Garrett]

I guess it started at 2:30.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay. Can we skip ahead to how many people were there and what they said?

[Garrett]

Yeah, so we got out by 545. Oh, but that's a long meeting.

[Nicole Parker]

It is a long meeting.

[Garrett]

Well, we had a lot to go over.

[Nicole Parker]

Like what?

[Garrett]

Oh, well, we talked about. We talked about the best kind of minerals to Find how. How deep you need to dig.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. And what are the best ones?

[Garrett]

Well, the best ones are just quartz because quartz is incredibly versatile.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Garrett]

Y.

[Nicole Parker]

And have. What did people say they had found here in Digby Falls?

[Garrett]

People have found tons of coins.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Garrett]

A lot of coins. People have found a lot of trash. But we have had some.

[Nicole Parker]

How about port? Porcelain dolls.

[Garrett]

Well, what's crazy is that Emerald and Stephen, both of the people at the meeting had found porcelain dolls.

[Nicole Parker]

We haven't heard about Stephen yet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. So.

[Nicole Parker]

So they both found porcelain dolls in there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Three of you separately found porcelain dolls.

[Nicole Parker]

That's correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In the ground.

[Nicole Parker]

Now it makes more sense that you were saying earlier. You know, like you, you were aware that other people really have found them.

[Garrett]

Stephen only found a leg.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Garrett]

And then Emerald found three leg.

[Nicole Parker]

Legs.

[Garrett]

Dolls.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Three fully intact dolls.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep. Wow. It is a little bizarre. And so do you feel like you got what you needed out of this meeting? Would you stay with these, this group of people? Is this right?

[Garrett]

It's going to become a monthly thing. I think Stephen said he's going to bring donuts from Happy's Donuts, which is.

[Nicole Parker]

Ironically in an old mortgage building.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's correct. That's correct.

[Garrett]

And then we're probably going to start mo. We're going to move the meetings a little earlier. So they'll probably be at like 1:30.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And then back to the logistics.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't, I don't, I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

We need to know that. But I did. I. I'm interested hearing about that meeting. I'm glad that you did. Kind of. It looks like this is maybe one of the few instances where someone put a post on the neighborhap. Someone responded. We'll forget the first person. And that second person provided a community for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Now. And now it doesn't mean you're necessarily ever going to find a ruby. I don't think that's ever going to happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

But. But I'm so glad that you have found a community. I think that's great.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I would say that, you know, it's hard because I've got such three close best friends, but Emerald and Steve do seem like people that I'm excited to get to know because I have found the digging experience to be, while inspiring, very isolating because it's you in the dirt.

[Nicole Parker]

It's especially 20ft down now at this point. So that's. I mean, how do you get up and out? How do you get like out when you need to?

[Garrett]

So I have. I have been using my arms and legs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't have, like, a ladder.

[Nicole Parker]

That seems very dangerous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You just been climbing.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, what? I mean, I will say I hadn't mentioned it because I don't usually like. But, like, you are. Are jacked. I mean, like, you're Are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're in terrific shape.

[Garrett]

Well, thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that.

[Doug]

Scurrying is a great workout.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think it's. I don't think you're scurrying.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I'm not sure that's a straight up. A grueling, actually. There's no speed to it unless. I don't know, I guess you explain it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not doing this Exorcist style. This is not. This is not.

[Garrett]

No, no, no, no, no, no. When have you scurried my brother?

[Doug]

That's. That's how I got at him. Out of the hole.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You scurry.

[Nicole Parker]

Scurry, babe.

[Doug]

Yeah. Maybe when you were digging. I don't know the exact definition of scurrying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think you do.

[Doug]

I just felt it was just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not something you do going up.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

It's something you do satisfy.

[Doug]

I just think of all fours.

[Nicole Parker]

I decide. 100. 100.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. It's the thing that animals do. Yeah. But they're. They're on the. They're on the ground, not in it.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, Gotcha.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

Sorry. Sorry to burst your bubble like that.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Doug]

Yeah, no, I'm sorry for. Although messing that up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A squirrel can scurry on off a tree.

[Garrett]

No. Yes, you're right about that. But humans don't scurry up.

[Nicole Parker]

No, not generally. We can't do it unless you're on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you have to. You have to gruelingly like. Like get a handhold in the dirt.

[Garrett]

Yep.

[Nicole Parker]

Which I imagine. I mean, can you get. Find purchase in sort of this loose clay and. And. And dirt?

[Garrett]

Well, again, the clay. Since I've reached clay, it's sort of sculptable. So you can you. I have been able to make grooves, but once it gets to the loose dirt, that's. That's sort of a speed thing.

[Nicole Parker]

That is a scurry moment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you have to get, like a good head of steam going.

[Nicole Parker]

This is like Uma Thurman Kill Bill. Kind of just like. We didn't really understand how. But you got out of that dirt.

[Garrett]

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never seen that movie, but.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it's great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have, and I don't Remember.

[Nicole Parker]

Remember when everyone. Remember when everyone in every show and everything did slow motion walks for. Well, up to now still because of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That, do you know what I like that's still happening in movie trailers is this.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. As a tidal wave crushes a city.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Yeah. Or a loud car.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Love a loud car. One of my favorite things in any show is a car accident that just comes out of nowhere and it's so loud. And the high pitched ringing.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

We could do a whole other podcast about that, but I think this one is done.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think so, Garrett. I think that's a great segue. Wow, Garrett. I don't know. I hope we helped amplify your message.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Because you know what, people, you might get some more showing up to the meeting. Did you want to tell them what church it was or maybe what street it's on and how to find. Find them?

[Garrett]

Yeah, it's our church of Little Bethlehem.

[Nicole Parker]

Uhhuh. In the basement.

[Garrett]

It's on the corner of. Of Taft.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Garrett]

And it's TFT curves.

[Nicole Parker]

It goes in it.

[Garrett]

Right, right, right.

[Nicole Parker]

Taft actually goes in a square.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Goes in a square.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah. And so it's in the. It's in the basement. And we're going to start meeting 1:30.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, we're thinking.

[Garrett]

We're thinking 1:30.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

Depending on when stuff. Stephen can get. Get the.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, don't, don't.

[Garrett]

It's because that place closes from 12:30 to 1:30 for lunch.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. They kept the mortgage hours.

[Garrett]

So we're trying to figure out if he can get in maybe a little bit early.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Garrett]

To get the donuts. So then he will be meeting us maybe 1:35, but I'll be there with Emerald.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what, this kind of scheduling is just gonna be just right for some people. You know, people. Some people are gonna really love this type of detail. They really will for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I mean any, any prospective prospectors.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you say he's going to get in early. He's going to get in early to where? Because 135 is after the meeting starts right now.

[Garrett]

So he'll get. We'll see if he can get in early to Happy's to get the donuts. You know, because sometimes when you wants.

[Nicole Parker]

To get there because it's there on lunch from 12:30 to 1:30. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So why.

[Nicole Parker]

I think he wants to get there an hour earlier.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He would need to get into Happy's.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At 12:25.

[Nicole Parker]

To order a donut.

[Garrett]

He's trying to get to Happy Happies at the tail end of their lunch break.

[Doug]

I love their lunch donuts.

[Garrett]

Delicious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it's. But the terrible thing about the lunch donuts is they look so good, but you. They. They're closed. So you're just looking in the window at them eating the lunch donut.

[Nicole Parker]

But here's the thing.

[Garrett]

They're there, and Steven knows one of the people that works there, so he has an end. Yeah, he has an in, because he went to summer camp with one of the people that works there. And so they went to summer camp, like, two hours outside of town. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He just went for two hours total.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what I thought.

[Garrett]

No, I think they went for a week.

[Nicole Parker]

And so that's a good time.

[Garrett]

And it was a sleepaway camp, so I'm sure. So he's probably going to knock on the window, see if he can get some of the donuts, bring it to the meeting, which we'll probably start 10 minutes late.

[Nicole Parker]

This sounds like a perfect plan, and I wish you well in this. And I'm really glad we met you, Garrett.

[Garrett]

That's really nice.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you for coming in. And it sounds like you and Doug are maybe gonna. I don't know, hang out and dig together sometime.

[Garrett]

Let's do it. I'll show you some techniques. Because if. When you get it sharper, you'll be. You'll be. You'll be surprised. Like, you'll be.

[Nicole Parker]

You'll be surprised.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You'll be surprised.

[Garrett]

I think it's gonna be good. Yep. You guys are you. I thought you guys might. At the beginning, might have been teetotalers, but.

[Nicole Parker]

But we're not. Oh, I'm so glad around. There you go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I would. I would consider investing in a ladder.

[Nicole Parker]

Agreed.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I'm really. For what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To get out of the hole.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. If you get deeper than that, I worry about you. I worry about the. The ground caving in on you. I really need you to make sure you. You build that up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I would hate for you to befall the fate of our friends Miles Teller and Anya Taylor. Joy in the Gorge.

[Garrett]

Oh, On Apple TV plus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Shut up. All right, well, thank you so much, Garrett. And we're going to take a break. Break. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. We'll be back when the neighbor listen. When the neighbor listen returns.

[Garrett]

Bye, everybody. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big Wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month of Course if you enjoy overpaying, no joke judgments but that's weird.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to 15 per month required Intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] get this. Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight you can teach your k financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future today with a risk free [e-mail] wondery greenlight.com wondery hi everybody, it's Anastasia. And I have these grape shaped salt and pepper shakers that I am selling for $10. Decorative grape cluster design. Now as you can see, these are clearly two bunches of grapes with leaves. Okay, my four sons at the dinner table every night when we sit down, just comment on how they look like a pair of testicles. I can't do this anymore. I absolutely can't. And so now I am going to get rid of them again. $10.

[Doug]

5.

[Nicole Parker]

$5 for each ball. Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that was a, that was fun. Garrett's fun. I mean, I'm very, very worried that he will literally be buried in his own yard.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, 100.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a miracle. It hasn't happened yet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's going to happen though. Yeah, but I mean, hopefully one of these other goofballs will be there to.

[Nicole Parker]

Goofball throw a line to call people goofballs sometimes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, these are goofballs.

[Nicole Parker]

These people that think they're just a certain age. You can call someone a goofball, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I like to think so. I like to think so.

[Nicole Parker]

Let us have something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I mean the porcelain doll thing is interesting.

[Nicole Parker]

That is a little, I mean it's so very. Dignity falls. Right? You know, it's like. And I'm sure, and I, you know, I don't want to really be on the nose of this, but I don't want to dig deeper into that because it probably is a dark story.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, there's no way. It's, it's just an innocent coincidence.

[Nicole Parker]

There's, there's nothing about that story that makes you go, oh, that's charming. You know What? I mean, that's not what it is. It's not charming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, cute.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you all found porcelain dolls and. And, Doug, what did you say?

[Nicole Parker]

That's finding a ladybug. You know what I mean? Not a porcelain. Not multiple porcelain dolls. And legs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you find a ladybug under the ground, I think it's nothing to write home about.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I just met. That does not be under the ground. I just want a fun discovery. He's a ladybug anywhere. It's true what we. Were we going to say, babe?

[Doug]

Oh, I never found a porcelain doll. I found the. Oh, life size. Like porcelain.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like Pazuzu porcelain Pazuzu.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

No, this is. This is a demon thing. You know, I hate this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a demon from the Exorcist.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I don't appreciate this. We can't. We can't talk about this. You know, I don't like this.

[Doug]

That's why I never mentioned it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why does it have such a cute name? Pazuzu.

[Nicole Parker]

I know it does. It does sound like a. Like a delicacy, like dessert from some other country that becomes real popular.

[Doug]

It kind of has a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now we finish with the Pazuzu, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

Makes me think of pizookie. Now I'm hungry.

[Doug]

Kind of has, like, so exotic.

[Nicole Parker]

My mouth is watery.

[Doug]

It sort of has a looney tunes ish face on Pazuzu. On the statue, it is.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God, I don't even want to. Please don't show me a picture. I don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We will not.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you get rid of it? Please tell me you got rid of it. Because you didn't. The twins are going to use it as a question.

[Doug]

Yeah, I left it down there. I didn't want to touch it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's fantastic.

[Doug]

I did expose its head.

[Nicole Parker]

You should. What is that? Oh, is that a thing? Is that how you defeat Pazuzu?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know.

[Doug]

I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Activate position.

[Doug]

Yeah, I don't know if that thing or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, let's not worry about.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's worry. Yeah, let's worry about those women. What is going on with them? I can't believe they played this entire time. Oh, it sounds like there's new people now. Oh, this is a.

[Doug]

They invited all their friends.

[Nicole Parker]

Why is there a helicopter?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did somebody say aun?

[Nicole Parker]

Why is there a helicopter? Helicopter sounds like it's in the house. Okay, it's helicopter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's very low, very loud.

[Nicole Parker]

My God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, it's funny. I never thought of a helicopter as one of the sounds of pickleball.

[Nicole Parker]

Me neither. Now all I hear is helicopter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that's why it's really taking over.

[Doug]

People really complain about the sounds of pickleball. That's why. So the helicopter drowns helicopter sounds.

[Nicole Parker]

So you just pumped helicopter sounds into the room? Why? This makes no sense.

[Doug]

It's sort of a combat pickle ball or battle pickle ball.

[Nicole Parker]

I call it battle pickleball.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You call what? What does it mean?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it just got louder. It just got worse.

[Doug]

Just so you can really hear what's going on.

[Nicole Parker]

Is that an industrial fan?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay, Doug, we'll check back with you later. Doug, we'll check back with you later.

[Doug]

That one hurt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It sure did turn up the helicopter.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry. To our listeners. We have one more post here. Yes, let's do this one. This one is from Sergio and it's just says, I have a small kid's desk. It's white. It's used. Could be cleaned up a little. If anyone wants it, let me know. Send me a message. I'll send you some pics if you want to see it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's no picture, which.

[Nicole Parker]

No. And that's kind of like a weird thing to. To request a picture of a dirty, used kid's desk.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's. What's weirder?

[Nicole Parker]

Why is there something. Why is there something so un. Un. Unsavory about this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know. Is it. Is it. Is it weirder that somebody would want this?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or is it weirder that he's. He's saying, if you want this, I'm not going to show you a picture unless you ask?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. I think the second.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

I think there's something very upsetting about. I mean, maybe he just really thinks that he only wants to deal with people who are serious about getting this worthless desk, which.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A kid's desk. How does he mean like a school desk?

[Nicole Parker]

If you ever wanted to sell something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Literally or figuratively, this is not how to do it. No, you is not it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You put it in the for sale.

[Nicole Parker]

Now I wish I never heard about this desk. And I don't want to pick.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is really taking over your life.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't want a desk pick.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't want it to pick on that desk. But you put in the for sale a free section, you have a dumb picture, and you say, here it is. Take it or leave it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Because he's not. He's. He's trying to sell it or he's.

[Nicole Parker]

Giving it away and see it. It doesn't even say it doesn't even say. It actually doesn't even say if you want to buy it. Says if you want to see it. Is this a kink?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, do you think it's code?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes.

[Doug]

Maybe see it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. What's code for kids desk. I don't want to get into this any further.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sergio, if you're listening to this, get a life. Get it together. Grow up, Sergio. Knock it off, you goofball. He's being a real goofball.

[Doug]

A real goofball hopped up on goofballs.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Doug]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or white out.

[Doug]

Or delicious. Oh, gosh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why did they spell white out without the H?

[Doug]

They did.

[Nicole Parker]

That true?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is a very mental Mandela thing.

[Doug]

Is this true?

[Nicole Parker]

Wait a minute.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remember it being.

[Nicole Parker]

Don't remember. No, I believe you. I believe you. Burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I believe you. I believe you. I'm not savior.

[Doug]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I feel really defensive because the whole Connie thing. And I really want you to know that I believe you when it says it's wit. Can you show me? Did you find a picture White out? Oh, yeah.

[Doug]

But you said Liquid Paper.

[Nicole Parker]

No, you did, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I did.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I believe you. I believe you. Burnt.

[Doug]

There's that old rigid finger again. Stiffened in my direction.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The rigid finger of blame. Oh, shame. Shame or blame?

[Nicole Parker]

It was shame.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're gonna blame it if you can't shame it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, it was blame, wasn't it? Okay, well, I guess I learned several things this time around.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is Liquid Paper? Is Liquid Paper the brand name of the one that Michael Nesmith's mother invented?

[Nicole Parker]

What? I thought they were the same thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, but, I mean, now I'm doubly confused. Liquid Paper. Fluid. Yeah. I thought it said liquid paper and white out on both of them. What was white out? Just what people called it, like, colloquially, and it was always called Liquid Paper.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I.

[Nicole Parker]

Everything. Right now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Liquid Paper is an American brand of the Newell Brands Company, marketed internationally, that sells correction fluid. Correction.

[Nicole Parker]

Correction fluid. Sounds awful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it does sound. Yes, that happens in jail. They also make the correction tape. Do you remember the tape?

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Doug]

See, I was going to mention the tape.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It would be super skinny.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes. I could type over it.

[Doug]

It makes my hair stand up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You type over it, but you had to wait.

[Nicole Parker]

That's because you put it on your arm, then you rip it really fast.

[Doug]

I know, but do you ever have, like, texture sensations that are, like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you still, like, writing things in. In your arm hair?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, he and the twins. He and the twins started that. He and the twins started that because I wouldn't let them get tattoos. So then they started writing things. Of course, I'm talking about my twins, which we haven't even talked about. We'll talk about them next time. But this is a Matt and. And cheroot. Oh, well. Burnt. I think it's time to sign off. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This has been. This has been an interesting episode.

[Nicole Parker]

It has. It was fun. I enjoyed it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Good luck to get on.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't like the fact. Strangers in the house. That part I didn't like. Next time, babe. You need to run that past me, okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sounds like you two might need couples counseling.

[Doug]

Yeah, I'm getting a lot of heat.

[Nicole Parker]

I will definitely win. I will definitely win. For sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Somebody's having.

[Doug]

We have two Sizzlers full of strangers.

[Nicole Parker]

Two? What are you talking about, two?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, there's the. There's the one Sizzler you're talking about the airport Sizzler.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. I'm going to go take a bath.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which one is frequented more, the Sizzler or the Sizzler Or Express?

[Doug]

Express. Does some pretty brisk business, I think, I'm sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Brisk business. Well, there you have it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, well, we'll be back next week. Be sure to follow us on the socials at the Neighborhood Listen. And if you'd like to write to us burtonjoanmail.com and if you'd like access to the. To the bonus content that we put out once a month, go to cbbworld.com Sign up for the Maximus tier and you will get stuff from behind the paywall. I can't think of anything else to say, Joan, so I'm just going to.

[Nicole Parker]

Say goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins, and me.

[Doug]

Nicole Parker, and me, Brett Morris.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This episode's guest was played by Anna Garcia. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show. Ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episode exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.