Oh Well!!??!!!! with Isabella Roland

Summary

The Neighborhood Listen: "Oh Well!!??!!!!" with Isabella Roland

Podcast: The Neighborhood Listen
Episode Date: May 26, 2026
Host Characters: Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), Doug (Brett Morris)
Guest: Deborah (Isabella Roland)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Neighborhood Listen centers on Burnt, Joan, and Doug's comedic exploration of their hometown, Dignity Falls, through the lens of bizarre posts sourced from a neighborhood social networking app. The highlight is their interview with Deborah, a frantic local neighbor outspoken about recycling center “thieves,” online vigilantism, and her various peculiar beliefs. The tone is improvisational, satirical, and delightfully absurd, aiming to both lampoon and empathize with the quirks of small-town life and internet-fueled anxieties.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dignity Falls Updates & Hosts' Lives

• Podcast's Role in Local Fame: The hosts celebrate their 10th season, joking that the podcast literally put Dignity Falls "on the map" after a campaign to get cartographers to include it (03:01).
• AI and Maps: They riff on AI's shortcomings in map-making, leading to some playful banter about made-up place names like “Kins, the Finger Lakes” (03:31).
• Host Check-Ins:
  • Joan shares updates about her kids: daughter Jaliope (now working at the Dignity Falls Zoo), and her twin boys, whose attempts at creative projects are both amusing and worrisome (“I wish they wouldn’t set things on fire, Burnt” – 21:08).
  • Burnt discusses his fiancée, Gabby, and “the incident,” a mysterious town crisis involving smokejumpers, fingernails falling off, and government secrecy (04:59).
  • Doug records from his newly themed “pirate lair”—a space inspired by the Pirates of the Caribbean ride he’s never actually been on, but feels like he has thanks to video ride-throughs and Joan’s vivid descriptions (11:04).

2. Zoo and Town Oddities

• Dignity Falls Zoo:

  • Hosts discuss the zoo’s unusual exhibits: a glass box filled with pigeons, a cat enclosure (with tuxedo cats giving presentations), hypersexual pandas, and monkeys in actual hot tubs (14:10).
  • Joan’s missing cat, Bananas, may have been spotted at the zoo (16:17).

• Children’s Projects:

  • Joan’s twin boys attempt to write a Shakespeare/Hamnet-inspired play with wild historical inaccuracies and bizarre reinterpretations (17:32).
  • The hosts banter about famous Shakespeare lines and their own children's personalities.

3. Community Post: Recycling Center Vigilantism ([28:21])

The Post (read twice for emphasis)

Deborah reports seeing men in “nice cars” stealing from the Recycling Center large metals area; when confronted, they respond dismissively ("oh well!!??!!!!"). She posts their photos, expresses concern about theft, and is frustrated that people can profit from scavenging (28:21).

4. The Interview with Deborah ([28:54–73:22])

Deborah’s Demeanor & Worldview

• Hyper-vigilance & Online Posting:
  • Deborah is in a constant rush “to alert the town,” feels driven to post about community infringements, and self-appoints as neighborhood watchdog.
  • She insists it's “her duty” to post, paying herself for this work though she’s technically unemployed (34:16).

Key Themes in the Interview:

• Ownership & Recycling Laws:

  • She asserts that trash and recyclables, even on the curb, “are always yours” and become city property at the recycling center (31:27).
  • Burnt and Joan challenge her logic, noting the spirit of reuse.

• Obsession with “Blinding Signs” and Driving Habits:

  • Deborah explains “blinding signs” at the recycling center are due to her always driving with high beams (32:23).
  • She admits to driving very slowly with high beams for safety, yet also says she’s perpetually in a rush, and locals accuse her of driving too fast ([37:11]).
  • She’s suspicious of children due to her own history with Joan’s “dangerous” twin boys.

• Paranoia & Conspiracies:

  • Deborah suspects anyone with a nice car scavenging recyclables is a thief or “murderer” ([41:02]).
  • She sets up illegal ring cameras at the recycling center to catch offenders ([55:02]).

• Relationship with the Media & Online Platforms:

  • Deborah claims people talk about her posts constantly; she’s fixated on her reputation in “the media,” referring to Nextdoor and Facebook, and even participates in discussions on 4chan and Michael’s craft store comment sections ([54:00]).

• Personal Life Confusion:

  • Claiming to have 10 children (but only daughters in ballet), married 40 years to “Corgi,” an app developer for Fetch (a stick-tracking app allegedly suppressed by the Deep State). She also believes she’s been in romantic contact with scammer impersonators of Shep (from Southern Charm) and Keanu Reeves ([49:10–53:16]).

• Physical Comedy:

  • Deborah complains of a blood clot; during the interview, throws it up in silence into a bowl in Joan’s kitchen ([70:37]).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Duty and Self-Payment:

  • Deborah: “It’s my duty and I pay myself to do it because someone has to...” ([34:16])

• On Paranoia and Accusation:

  • “If you’re driving nice vehicles, why do you feel the need to steal from our city?” (28:21)
  • “How else are we going to stop them from murdering?” ([62:50])

• On Driving:

  • “I would never drive without my high beams on.” ([32:37])
  • “Seven [mph] for the children, right?” ([33:00])

• On Family:

  • Joan: “I wish they wouldn’t set things on fire, Burnt.” ([21:08])

• On the 3 R’s at The Recycling Center:

  • Doug: “Do you know what those three R's stand for?... Reduce, reuse, recycle!” ([65:11])

• On Blood Clots:

  • “I feel my blood clot passing... I’m gonna pee it out. I’m gonna throw it up.” ([70:07])

5. Running Gags, Satire, and Absurdity

• Absurd Neighborhood Culture:
  • Bantering about “unique brunch places,” upcycle/’reuse’ confusion, surprising things hidden in kids’ quesadillas, and the decline of local restaurant quality (81:14–85:27).
• Parody of Internet Forums:
  • Mocking the circuitous, self-reinforcing nature of local message boards, especially through Deborah’s inability to self-reflect or escape online drama.
• Extended Improv Tangents:
  • Pirates of the Caribbean references, Southern Charm and Bravo TV in-jokes, unusual deaths, and playfully meta moments where the performers joke about their process.

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Timestamps & Segment Highlights

• AI/Cartography/Jokes About the Town (03:01–03:53)
• Zoo Discussion & Cat Bananas (14:09–16:17)
• Joan’s Boys’ Creative (and dangerous) Projects (17:32–21:08)
• Deborah’s Post Read (28:21)
• Deborah Joins the Call (28:54)
  • Rush to “alert the town” (28:57)
  • Blinding Signs/Driving with High Beams (32:23/33:00)
  • Illegal Ring Cameras/Posting Faces and Plates (55:02/62:46)
  • Claims of Contact with “Shep” and “Keanu Reeves” Online (49:10–53:16)
  • Blood Clot Event (70:07–70:54)
  • Doug’s “3 Rs” Explanation (65:11)
  • Interview Concludes, No Resolution (71:10–73:22)
• Restaurant/Brunch Rant (80:27–85:27)

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• Burnt, on Podcast Legacy:

  • "We were not on any map… Now with our 10th season, I've seen this on a couple maps." ([03:06])

• Joan, about her twins' dangerous tendencies:

  • "I wish they wouldn’t set things on fire, Burnt." ([21:08])

• Deborah, on her self-appointed duty:

  • “It’s my job to post online about the neighborhood...it’s my duty and I pay myself to do it...” ([34:16])

• Deborah, on ownership of trash:

  • “They're always yours.” ([31:33])

• Deborah, on being watched online:

  • “The media...so many people are talking about me so much.” ([36:47])

• Doug, on reducing, reusing, recycling:

  • “Do you know what those three R's stand for?... Reduce, reuse, recycle!” ([65:11])

• Deborah, echoing online paranoia:

  • “How else are we going to stop them from murdering?” ([62:50])

• Burnt, frustrated by the interview:

  • "I don't think we can really help you any further than we already have, which is zero." ([72:31])

• Joan, about Deborah’s online presence:

  • “You’ve now been off the Internet almost an hour – this is groundbreaking.” ([69:55])

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Memorable Comedy Moments

• The Pirate Lair: Doug’s “ride-through” knowledge of Pirates of the Caribbean and Joan’s detailed descriptions are played for deadpan laughs ([11:04]).
• Deborah’s Blood Clot: The extended bit where Deborah throws up her blood clot in Joan’s kitchen, complete with comically quiet retching, is an offbeat, absurdist highlight ([70:15]).
• App Parody: Deborah’s husband supposedly invents an app called Fetch (spelled “FEZ” at one point) to track who threw which sticks in the neighborhood ([57:41]).
• Bravo References/Social Media Scams: Deborah believes she’s interacting online with reality TV stars and Keanu Reeves; the hosts gently explain catfishing ([49:10–53:16]).

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Conclusion

This episode carries the classic Neighborhood Listen balance of warmth, empathy, and biting satire. Through the character of Deborah, the hosts lampoon local busybodies, the culture of neighborhood apps, and internet-fueled neuroses--while dropping surprises like “bacon wakes” and impromptu blood clot emission. The interview is as unresolved as Deborah’s worldview, but is hilariously rich in detail.

Most Memorable Line:
“I'm so glad you asked. It's F, E, Z [for the Fetch app].” – Deborah ([58:42])

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For New Listeners

If you appreciate character-driven improv, sharp neighborhood satire, and surreal comedic escalations—this episode is a perfect showcase. It captures how community obsession, online confusion, and reality TV intersect in the fictional microcosm of Dignity Falls.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[B]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[A]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[B]

Occasionally, we change the names of some

[A]

streets and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the Ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[B]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.

[A]

Listen. Knock, knock.

[B]

Who's there?

[A]

Your neighbor.

[B]

Good In Dignity Fall, Never alone. You've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[A]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[B]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood.

[C]

Listen.

[A]

Welcome back to the Neighborhood Listen. If you have listened to it before, that is.

[B]

Oh, I sure hope they have. But it's possible they haven't. Someone might be just being introduced to this podcast today, right now.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

And hello.

[A]

And hello.

[B]

If that's true.

[A]

If that's true. If that's true.

[B]

If that's true. If not,

[A]

My name is Burnt Me A payday. I am the pharmacist in chief here at the Dignity Falls dignity fallsmassy Pharmacy.

[B]

That is. That's a mouthful.

[A]

It is a mouthful, but I do feel like it's.

[B]

Is that the full. You have to always say the full

[A]

title when we answer the phone. Yes.

[B]

Oh, that's a lot. That's how you have to answer the phone.

[A]

The Dignity Falls. Digging me falls.

[B]

Oh, see, it's very hard.

[A]

Yes. I, I, I will avoid answering the phone at all costs.

[B]

You can't just do it. Old dad. Yellow.

[A]

Yellow.

[B]

I didn't mean to interrupt your presentation.

[A]

No.

[B]

Of yourself. What's the word for that? Introduction.

[A]

Introduction. I like presentation, though.

[B]

Yeah. Presentation of myself.

[A]

Please enjoy my presentation. Hello, my name is Bert Miapede. I am the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls Dignity. It's gotten harder. Now I'm really thinking about it.

[B]

It's hard. You said Digman the cartoon. It's what it sounded like.

[A]

I am the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls. Dignity Falls Missy Pharmacy.

[B]

Well done.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I am Joan Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here at Dignity Falls and the top local actress.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And I am hoping that you have a little bit of a. I'm going to stick start. I'm going to start the episode with this because we Always shove it under the rug. Push it under the rug, sweep it under the rug. What did I say first? Shove it under the rug. That's what my family used to say. With our problems, we would just shove them under the rug. It was that bad.

[A]

Listen, I'm not going to tap toe around this. Well, we should also say we are in the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. And this is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls.

[B]

Yeah. That bears repeating, I think.

[A]

Yeah. Let's check in. How do you feel about Dignity Falls? Do you still love living?

[B]

How do I feel about it?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I love it because, you know,

[A]

some you can live in a place, you can complain about it.

[B]

Do you know, I think this podcast really put us on the map. I mean, literally, we were not on any map.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And now with our 10th season. Yeah, we bet. I've seen this on a couple maps.

[A]

Yes, we had to. But there was a petition. We had to sign a petition.

[B]

Yes, we did.

[A]

And send it to every cartographer.

[B]

Every cartographer.

[A]

Till one finally took the bait and put us on a map.

[B]

Really hard. Not easy to find a cartographer, really. It's sort of an ancient trade, isn't it?

[A]

They are an ancient trade.

[B]

Are they even needed anymore?

[A]

They refuse to be online.

[B]

Isn't it AI doing all of it now?

[A]

God, I hope not.

[B]

I sure hope not.

[A]

Can you imagine the spellings of all the places? Are you imagining it?

[B]

Yeah, I am. I'm imagining Kins, the Finger Lakes.

[A]

There's too many, right?

[B]

For sure. That's a good one.

[A]

This is artificial intelligence humor.

[B]

It is, yes.

[A]

We're having fun.

[B]

This is what we're going to do now. We're having fun with AI humor.

[A]

But it is a terrifying.

[B]

Terrifying.

[A]

Yeah, terrifying threat. The good news is nobody wants it. And I don't think it's going to work.

[B]

And AI can't do this. I mean, it can't do what you and I do. The magic that we spin every time.

[A]

And I. AI could never.

[B]

That's right. Drag AI. Drag it, drag it. I want to know what's going on with your fiance. Gabby.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Who is. Who has retreated at the moment in her battle against the incident. In quotes. We had a major incident years and years ago. We never talk about it in this town, but now Burnt has made me aware that there might be one impending. There's a Gabby at the front line.

[A]

Yes. Gabby is a smokejumper. So she and her fellow smokejumpers have been on the front lines.

[B]

And that's all there's no FBI. There's no police force. There's no paramedics. It's just smoke jumpers.

[A]

No, no. Come on. There's other agencies and entities involved.

[B]

Okay? You never mention that.

[A]

I shouldn't even be telling you this.

[B]

Okay. Well, how's it going?

[A]

It's going better.

[B]

Good.

[A]

It's going better. They've made a lot of progress.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Everyone's fingernails are growing back.

[B]

What? You didn't mention that part. I don't know anything about.

[A]

I didn't?

[B]

No.

[A]

I didn't mention that everyone's fingernails fell out.

[B]

No. Burnt.

[A]

I'm sure I said that.

[B]

Honestly, I'm sure I said that.

[A]

No.

[B]

Whenever. You do this all the time, you don't tell me things, and then you act like it. You must have. And it makes me feel crazy because, you know, I'm going through perimenopause, which I call them. Feminine overdrive. That's right. And I forget things. I don't appreciate it.

[A]

Okay. I hear you.

[B]

Good.

[A]

And I see you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Here's the thing. Because we are such good friends.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

A lot of times I think I have said something to you that I've just said it to you in my.

[B]

All right. Well, that's. It's a. That's a lovely excuse. It makes me feel loved. I mean, it's not going to fix it. Okay?

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

But it's getting better. Can you tell me anything else? What? Have you seen her?

[A]

I have. I got a furlough.

[B]

I'm sorry, a what?

[A]

A furlough so I could see her for 24 hours.

[B]

I thought a photo was a new kind of photo online that you could get from someone.

[A]

A folo. Is that what you thought I said?

[B]

Yep. Listen, if I hear something like that, I'm just going to assume I'm of a certain age where I just don't know what the hell that is. Like. Oh, yeah, she sent a follow, you know. And then just act like I know what it was.

[A]

How is folo spelled in your mind?

[B]

F, O, L, O.

[A]

Okay. Fabio only is once. Fabio only lives once.

[B]

Fabio only lives once. I can tell Doug is laughing. My husband, who's in a different room. You know what? Sometimes I can. I can tell that Doug is making faces without even hearing him. Okay.

[A]

Honestly, me too.

[B]

Here's why. Because he didn't say hi right away, so I knew what he was doing is doing this face. And we're not going to share is. It's private between him and I, but

[A]

we're so used to Doug not being in this room.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That we have somehow picked up on his gestures, facial expressions, his moods.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Without being able to see him.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Just hearing in silences.

[B]

Absolutely. So that just happened. And so Doug is. He's recording in a different room today. He's recording in. Oh, boy. He's recording in the pirates lair. And let me tell you. Well, it's based on Pieces of Ape. Ever since we went on the damn ride. And the dog is holding the keys, and they're in the. You know, and then the skeleton is drinking, and it goes right through his. He wanted to make. He wanted to.

[A]

Oh, no, I couldn't. I couldn't imitate.

[B]

Very good. He's. It's. It's his favorite ride. He wishes it could just be real.

[A]

He want.

[B]

He said he wants to get off the boat and then wait and hang out there and, like, hide overnight and just, like, hang out there. I don't know what that means, but

[A]

it's not a lot of space. You know what I mean?

[B]

I don't know. It's pretty big.

[A]

It's pretty big. But they're all. I mean, it's not like they. There's any room back there. You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, why don't we have him tell. Okay, babe, tell us. What do you. So anyways, are you doing? Are you, like, recreating some of the scenes from it? Are you doing a tavern?

[A]

Doug? That was a fair point.

[B]

I missed the point. What was the point?

[A]

I don't know that for sure.

[C]

He doesn't know what's behind.

[A]

They may have. On that ride, they may have built actual habitats for these animatronic pirates.

[B]

It could be Westworld style.

[A]

Yep. And they're all nude back there.

[B]

All nude. You know, I couldn't get past when I was watching that show, how all those. Those actors had to be just freezing cold because, you know, it was cold.

[A]

I think.

[B]

You know, it was cold.

[A]

Every time I see a nude scene, that's all I think.

[B]

That's all I think.

[A]

I just think about.

[B]

The actor takes me out of it. Is that weird? It's weird. Well, I mean, I understand why, because I'm an actor, but why do you do it? You're not an actor.

[A]

But I know what acting is. I think. Because I think a lot of times you put yourself in that position. Wow, they. They really ask a lot of people to take their clothes off.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

When they don't need to.

[B]

Anytime I see a night scene, you know, like, all of Severance. All I think is. Oh, God, they were freezing the ent time. How horrible.

[A]

But they're not nude in that, right?

[B]

No, but it's still freezing when you.

[A]

When you can see an actor's breath in a thing. Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[B]

What if Adam Scott was unnecessarily nude a lot during severance, but they didn't show it? All right, babe, what have you got going in the lair so far?

[C]

All right, well, first things first. The one thing I don't like about that ride.

[A]

Oh, okay, okay.

[C]

Never heard this one thing.

[B]

Oh, just one thing.

[C]

It's when you pass under the pirate hanging his dirty foot over you, he's

[B]

worried that the mud's gonna fall on top.

[C]

I don't like being right under his dirty foot. Something's gonna follow.

[A]

Now, I've never been on this ride, as we know.

[B]

Yes, you obviously went to Disneyland. You bought a ticket. You went through the gate.

[A]

I was overwhelmed by the flower display.

[B]

Floral. And you turned around and went right back.

[A]

I turned around and went right back. One of these days, I'm gonna go.

[C]

I've only watched, you know, ride throughs.

[A]

Oh, you've never been on it, but it's your favorite ride.

[B]

It's weird he's been to, but he says he likes it more when I. No, no, you haven't. You. You have. You said you hadn't ridden the ride. You said you've been to Disneyland.

[A]

You said that.

[B]

Doug, wait. I just want to be clear. Is that what happened?

[A]

Let's. Doug, it's time for honesty.

[B]

No, no, you tell me. Did he say he'd been to Disneyland, or did he say I haven't?

[C]

Did he say I haven't ridden Pirates Digneyland.

[A]

Oh, Digley Land.

[C]

Yeah, we went to Dignyland. It's the closest I could get.

[A]

I heard so many terrible stories about my parents for made me from.

[C]

I never went out.

[B]

Mickey. Moose. And it's.

[A]

It's Moosey Mick.

[B]

That's his girlfriend, Goosey. Yes, they have.

[A]

They have a.

[B]

It's a goose with a tiny green hat.

[A]

They have one called Daffy Duck, which, first of all, that's not a play on Donald Duck. Also, the character isn't a duck. It's a big cat.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

Named Daffy Duck.

[B]

That's really weird.

[A]

And his catchphrase is, no pictures, please.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

He holds out his arms to you like he's gonna hug you, and then you get close to him and he whispers, no pictures, please.

[B]

It's really creepy.

[A]

Disneyland sucks.

[B]

It's closed right now, so.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

How is it? How has it lasted so long?

[B]

I don't know. Well, I think because it became like a popular, like, Instagram thing. Right. You know what I mean? Like, there were people would go just to make fun of it, that kind of thing. What I guess I just meant to say is that I know he's not been on the ride. What he loves is me describing the ride to him, and that is how he's built his whole entire sort of idea of it.

[A]

Okay, so you've. You've watched.

[C]

I've watched a lot of ride throughs

[A]

and then also judge descriptions.

[B]

He says my descriptions are so amazing and illustrative.

[C]

I had never been outside of Dignity Falls until we did our live shows.

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He's been to San Francisco twice. Three times. That's it.

[A]

Dynasty in Los Angeles.

[B]

Yeah, Los Angeles a couple of times. Yeah. Well, we'll have to get you there at some point, babe. Maybe. Maybe next time.

[A]

Maybe somewhere that's not in California.

[B]

That would be nice it up. Wouldn't that be nice?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I have to tell you.

[A]

Oh, I'm talking to.

[B]

Sorry, babe. Why did you finish?

[C]

I'm trying to d. Johnny Depp the space a little.

[A]

I was gonna ask.

[B]

Well, you shouldn't have started there because, you know, the ride didn't start with him in the first place, and it's okay. Oh, all right.

[C]

You've told me.

[B]

I have told you this.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. Did you.

[C]

They used to be actually pillaging the. The town.

[B]

I know. Well, they made it better. The women chase the men. Now everything's fixed.

[A]

The men.

[C]

Well, as I understand it now, the pirates used to be after, you know, pillaging the town.

[B]

Of course, yes.

[A]

And.

[C]

And taking the women.

[A]

Are you Irish? Oh, they're after pillaging.

[B]

Yeah, that's what it used to be. That's what it used to be.

[C]

That's what it used to be. Now, the pirates, as I understand it, are after food, so they're chasing the women for their place of food.

[B]

I see.

[A]

Yeah. Before they were pillaging the town when they were chasing the women.

[C]

Yeah. Now they're after food, and then now the women chase them.

[B]

They're objectifying the food.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

And now they're. And now they've added a layer of where they're after Johnny Depp.

[B]

Okay, well, that's.

[C]

But I want to get back to just the food part.

[B]

Okay, that's true. Do you know that the men who play Johnny, the Johnny Depp version now of Captain Jack Sparrow at Disneyland. They get a lot of inappropriate women coming up to them.

[A]

Oh, do they have a guy walking around?

[B]

Keys, phone numbers, everything.

[A]

They have a guy walking around.

[B]

Yes, they do. They have a guy watching.

[A]

Not realize that. I thought it was just confined to the ride.

[B]

No, they now have a guy who comes.

[A]

Is that a recent addition?

[B]

Not really. I think it's been around for like 10 years.

[A]

Okay. It makes more sense, I guess.

[B]

But all it is is just women coming up and being like, I am a Jackson Arrow, you know, really, like. I mean, they're not happy about it, actually.

[A]

What a sad thing that they have something that attracts weird people to Disneyland.

[B]

I mean, that's not the only thing. There's all sorts of. All right. I'm happy to report that Jaliape, she has moved back home.

[A]

Oh, Jaliape, your daughter.

[B]

And she's got a job.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And she's working at the Danny Calls Zoo, which we haven't talked about the zoo here, have we? I don't think we've ever talked about the zoo.

[A]

I don't know if we've ever talked about this.

[B]

We have a very. I mean, are we surprised? We have a very strange zoo. We have sort of like the most of certain things. Like all the wrong things and the least of the right things.

[A]

There's a big glass box that's full of pigeons.

[B]

Full of pigeons. We have a cat. We have a cat enclosure. But we do have six pandas, which is crazy.

[A]

Like, we're trying to get rid of them.

[B]

We're trying to get rid of. No one will take them off our hands. It's crazy. 6.

[A]

And they have sex all the time.

[B]

That's all they do.

[A]

You can't take kids all out of

[B]

trees and have sex. No, you can't. It's graphic.

[A]

They figured out a way to play music.

[B]

They did.

[A]

They did.

[B]

Oh, the bamboo is shaking.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I like the. Like the hot tub monkeys.

[B]

They're in actual hot tubs.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you can get in the hot tub.

[B]

They're the hot springs. Supposed to be the hot springs. Monkey Bay. But, like, because they didn't want to build hot springs, they just bought a couple hot tubs.

[A]

And they don't want to disguise a hot tub as hot springs. Let's just leave it as is. The jets, the disco lights and everything.

[B]

They're having a lot of sex too, frankly.

[A]

They're having a lot of sex.

[B]

They're in a hot tub.

[A]

They think we can't see it because under the wal.

[B]

Water, you can see everything. You can see everything. So she'll be. She'll be working with the cats. That's where they start, everybody. Right again. I don't know why that part exists, but it's still popular.

[A]

They're all tuxedo cats.

[B]

They are. They really are. And. And they. They. You know, they. They actually do, like, presentations. You know what they. You take a cat around, you could pet it. And it's like, what? I just pet my cat this morning. Why is this. Why are you taking it around? Like it's an exotic animal to pet? You know, they bring the cats to schools.

[A]

Speaking. You know what?

[B]

What?

[A]

I'm remembering this now. Somebody told me that they saw a yellow cat at the zoo.

[B]

Bananas, my cat, Bananas, who's been missing forever. Are you serious? Oh, Bananas.

[A]

Every once in a while, we see him around, too. Well, it's a terrible hiding place.

[B]

Well, you know what? This is great. I'll have Jaliope keep an eye out, okay? For Bananas.

[A]

For Bananas. She's working at the zoo, did you say. Is that how we got started?

[B]

Yes. I'm trying to show that, like, my children are actually like things right now. Because they aren't always.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

The boys are working on. I mean, I have. I've mentioned this before, that my twin boys are working on this. This is not a great idea, okay? Because they got it from an AI post and they said, that's not real. Because they. They saw Hamnet was a huge hit, right? And then they thought, we want to do similar things. We want to do something like it. So the best they could come up with was Romeo and Juliet. Juliet. And they. Because they were like, oh, no. It's also true that, like, Shakespeare based Romeo and Juliet on, you know, a girlfriend of his. And I was like, no, that's not true. But what they've written is that Shakespeare did have a girlfriend. Her name was Juliet. They couldn't. They were forbidden from loving each other. And that he wanted to rewrite the ending because in real life, she took fake poison and he had real poison, but he thought it was real poison. So he found her. She was dead, and he took poison, but it was fake, so he actually didn't die. But she woke up in time to shoot herself, or whatever it is.

[A]

Shoot herself?

[B]

Listen, I've been talking the boys too much. All they know is Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet, okay?

[A]

Oh, sure.

[B]

All they know. So that's why I keep saying that she uses a dagger. That's right. Because it says dagger on the gun. Right? That was the. That was the. I'm pretty sure it did. I'm sure that was the brand of gun they used, the dagger.

[A]

I think he. I think we have talked about the devastating line. You have made worms meat of me. And how.

[B]

I guess we have.

[A]

Yes, that's something. To have the presence of mind to say that when you're dying is incredible because that's going to haunt you. Would never forget that.

[B]

Is seared into your brain.

[A]

That's all you'd ever think about for the rest of your life.

[B]

The visual alone.

[A]

And then he looked at me and

[B]

said, you've made worms meat of me dead.

[A]

One of the most epic clapbacks.

[B]

So there.

[C]

It's not even really a curse. It's just more of an observation.

[A]

You made worms.

[C]

It appears you've made worms.

[B]

No, I think it's. I think it's an accusation.

[A]

I would grant you that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think the shame on you is implied, Doug. I really do. I really do. He also does A plague on both your houses.

[B]

He was in a mood for sure.

[A]

Absolutely. Three quick things.

[B]

But he's set up throughout the whole thing as a real wordsmith, you know, so it makes sense. You gotta give him a good death.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah. You got.

[B]

But the boys just care about, you know, this. This ending. Well, the point is that they're gonna write a story where Shakespeare's writing, trying to rewrite history, because what happened in Shakespeare's life with Julie Ness and her name was Julienette, that's what they're saying. I'm like, don't you understand that this. None of this is real?

[A]

Is there a cyber element to it? Is that why she's Julienette?

[B]

Well, you know what he wanted to do? He wanted to do macnet, right? And I said, that sounds way too much like a tech thing, right? And I did say, yes, that sounds way too much. That sounds like a tech company, macnet. Like, you can't. No one will know. Romeo and Juliet. You kind of know what they're doing, right?

[A]

Do you?

[B]

Well, listen, I've been in. I've been in this deep with them, so I've been too much in this. But are you.

[A]

Are you being a dramaturg?

[B]

They want me to be the nurse. And I was like, I am not old enough to play the nurse yet. How dare you? So, yes, I'm working as a dramaturg because, you know, I've been taking that Shakespeare Monologue workshop. It's just me and a guy. I've told you about it. Well, we haven't really talked about it. He just yells at me all the time. But. But basically what happened is, you know, she. She took the fake poison. He comes in, he thinks she's dead. This is Shakespeare I'm talking about. And his girlfriend, Juliannette. And. And he took what he thought was real poison and passed out. And then she. I mentioned it has to be. She has to stab herself because they didn't have guns. But then what happened is he woke back up and he kind of just went, well, this is really gonna be a problem anyways. And he walked away. He didn't kill himself as well.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Which is what you know you should do. So that's why he rewrites Rue Romeo and Juliet, to make.

[A]

You're saying that's what you should do in this situation.

[B]

He felt that he had to. He felt guilty. Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

He felt so guilty that he's like, I'm gonna rewrite my story where I kill myself, too, and we both die.

[A]

Oh, I see. O.

[B]

Okay. It's that kind of thing again. They. They barely. They just watch trailers and Instagram clips of the movie Hamnet. They don't even know what they're talking about. I've been trying to fill in the blanks for them.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm just happy that they're trying to work on something.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

All their projects have seemed to not work. The Chick Fil, a streaming service, prank pilot. Prank your parents, Mr. Doubtfire. For me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That didn't work out. And so. And so we have this. And I'm just happy they're alive, like I always say.

[A]

Is this maybe not their Lane Theater?

[B]

Absolutely not. But. Or. What do you mean, writing?

[A]

What would you. Anything that they've tried. What. What would you rather they do?

[B]

I wish they wouldn't set things on fire, Bert. What do you want me to say? I mean. Well, I mean, they never really stopped. It's just that when I get them creatively involved, then they don't do that. Of course. I'm talking about my twin boys, Matt and Skeeter. And Skeeter. I'm just. I just. If I can distract them, then it works. If I can get them going on a project, then. Then it's better for me.

[A]

They sound like dangerous animals when you talk about them.

[B]

They're my dangerous animals. I love them. I love them. I can't help it.

[A]

You can't help it? You can't help it's Unconditional.

[B]

It sure is.

[C]

The good boys.

[B]

I mean, I don't know if I'd say that. Well, listen, do I have regrets? Absolutely.

[C]

Didn't they have guns back then? Shakespeare times.

[A]

No.

[C]

Blunderbuss.

[A]

No.

[B]

What a what?

[A]

They didn't have Blunderbuss.

[B]

Blunderbuss.

[C]

Well, here's the bus of the gun with the.

[A]

But it's not. It's not just. It's not just Shakespeare's time. It's also the specific places and times that Shakespeare's writing about.

[B]

Yes, exactly. He's writing about. He's writing about Caesar. He's writing about Roman times. Why? Why? Explain, please.

[C]

That's how I like to say it.

[A]

Oh, that's how you like say.

[B]

That's all it is. Okay. He just likes to say that way. Yeah, he's always a star salad and then the waiter rolls.

[C]

Yeah, I always order a sesame salad.

[A]

I order a kaiser salad.

[C]

Oh, that's fun. Come with a little helmet.

[B]

Okay. Do you think we've been talking long enough?

[A]

I think so. So, Doug, what say you?

[C]

My opinion or my facts?

[B]

My opinion or my facts?

[A]

I guess. Facts.

[B]

Yeah, facts.

[C]

Okay, facts.

[B]

Just the facts.

[C]

Just the facts, ma'. Am. 22.

[B]

You got every time. 23. That is very eternal clock.

[A]

Is.

[B]

We can tell when we're sick of our talking. We can tell when other people are

[A]

sick of our talk. My fear is if we stop asking, we will go wild. Oh, we'd never stop if we assume. If we like said, let's not ask the sign. We have a good gauge of it. We would absolutely go to 75.

[B]

We can't do that. We can't do that. We must not.

[A]

Okay, we'll be right back with the neighborhood listen when the neighbor Listen. Returns.

[B]

Wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventure, protect your dog from parasites with Cridellio Quattro. For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit credelioquatrolabel.com consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973. Ask your vet for Cordelio Cuatro and visit quattrodog.com. hi, this is Jennifer. I've got a stars and stripes wall hanging for $30. Stars and Stripes. That's what it says on the top. And it is our American flag. And it's shredded. It is. It is in tatters. It is tattered and torn. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's destroyed to ribbons. It's the. The stripes are also Going the wrong way. Any way you look at it, any way you turn it around, this is actually not the American flag as we know it. It's torn to shreds. So I can't look at it anymore. And if I give it away, maybe everything will change, if you know what I mean. So if you'd like to come get this shredded symbol, this symbolic symbol, come at me with $30.

[A]

Oh, welcome back. Wasn't that fun?

[B]

Yes. Do you know what that reminded me of?

[A]

What?

[B]

You might not remember this, but when we had that one wild guest on Sandy who thought all the birds were gone.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He was talking about Honey Babes ham, which is a business that we have here.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it's not like a honey baked ham. That's what most people have, but they have, like, hot girls spinning signs out front. And then we talked about the commercial and the poster, which is a pit with a. With a ham basically getting sliced in the back. And he says, oh, that'll do. And that it reminds me of the commercial when he goes, oh, the way

[A]

you said, oh, I did not mean.

[B]

You don't remember that.

[A]

I do. Of course I remember. I did not mean to imitate that ham.

[B]

You totally were, though.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that'll do.

[C]

God, it looks so delicious in the komoso.

[A]

And it's so sick and twisted. Is there anything more delicious than an Easter ham? Just a thick cut slab of ham. So flavorful, so flavorful.

[B]

So healthy.

[A]

I like to eat the white part. All right,

[B]

I'm sorry, everybody.

[A]

We have a guest.

[B]

Too much ham content.

[A]

Too much ham content. Hampton.

[B]

Hampton.

[A]

Is that anything?

[B]

Oh, I don't know.

[A]

Hampton.

[B]

If you keep saying it, maybe it will be Hampton.

[A]

We have a guest here today at the Kitchen island, as we do every week. What we do, folks, is we scour the neighborhap, the social networking application, for neighborhoods. We look for interesting neighbors to talk to. Maybe somebody wants to amplify their message. Maybe somebody has a question. Maybe they need to be held to account for something. And this is no different. Now, look, if you have a post that you think we should talk about, why don't you screenshot it and send it to [e-mail]. this was sent to us by John Newcomer.

[B]

Oh, love that. What a great name.

[A]

Do you think it's an actual name?

[B]

I absolutely think it could be Newcomer. One of the first. He was probably dates all the way back to some of the first people here.

[A]

You know, I mean, I guess it makes sense because every person that's born in the family will be a newcomer.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Eventually. They're not anymore though.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But you can't. What are you gonna. You can't just.

[C]

That is the Johnny come lately, babe.

[B]

That's a good point.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Really good point.

[C]

Did you see my face?

[B]

I did. I saw it in my head.

[A]

I saw. I could picture my mind how pleased you were with yourself. This is in the crime and safety section. This was posted by Deborah. Deborah says. So I went to the recycle center today to drop off some recycles. This man and then another came and was stealing things from the large metals area. I told him he can arrested for taking things. He said, oh, well. Three question marks, three exclamation marks. Then another man came and almost did the same until he saw me taking photos. If you're driving nice vehicles, why do you feel the need to steal from our city? Especially when there are blinding signs stating what I've said. So I went to the recycle center today to drop off some recycles. This man and then another came and was stealing things from the large metals area. I told him he can be arrested for taking things. He said, oh, well. Two exclamation, two question marks, three exclamation points. Hold on a second. I'm so sorry.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

Two question marks, four exclamation points.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Then another man came and almost did the same until he saw me taking photos. If you're driving nice vehicles, why do you feel the need to steal from our city? Especially when there are blinding signs stating what I've said. If you only get a couple pennies per pound, why bother wasting the gas? To and from here to say more is Deborah. Deborah, welcome to the neighborhood.

[B]

Listening. Deborah.

[D]

Hi. Sorry I'm in such a rush.

[B]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[A]

Why are you in such a rush?

[D]

I gotta tell people about the pirates.

[B]

Oh, you're in a rush to spread the communication about the pirates. I see. I see.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

The first things first. Deborah.

[D]

So I went to the recital.

[A]

Deborah. Deborah.

[D]

To drop off some response.

[B]

She understand she's in a rush. Burn. She's in a rush and she needs to get the information.

[D]

Especially when there are blinding signs all over.

[B]

Want to know what that means? But Bern, ask your first question first.

[A]

But now you did. In your post, you. You wrote the same thing. I just read it.

[B]

I just read it, actually. Yeah, Verbatim.

[A]

And you said the same thing twice.

[D]

You saw what I said.

[A]

You did change up the punctuation the second time at the end. And Then you had a brand new sentence to round it out. Now why did you feel the need to type it twice? And what was the deal with the pronunciation?

[B]

Punctuation.

[D]

I'm just in such a rush right now.

[A]

This seems the opposite of that.

[B]

Yeah, it seems actually more thought through.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She answers your question. What I want to know is why there's this other man and then there's always another man.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Many, many, so many men coming. Yes. Why when their cars are so nice.

[B]

I understand.

[D]

Do they feel the need to steal from our city?

[A]

Well, but, but, but, but, but it's not. Do you. So you feel like once it goes into the recycle center. Once a recycle goes into the recycle center, recycles that it becomes then the property of the city.

[D]

Of course.

[A]

Okay. I don't know that I 100% agree with that.

[D]

Well, you don't have to agree with. With the laws of the land.

[A]

No, you do do or you go to jail.

[D]

That's just. I. I'm just got. I'm just got it. Okay.

[A]

But I. But I feel that. I feel that it's. Until the city picks it up, it's still fair game. Like, if you see something you need, you can take it.

[B]

Oh, boy. Wow.

[A]

She is.

[B]

She's laughing, but she's not laughing.

[D]

Have you ever. Have you ever lived on a street?

[A]

Do you mean have I been unhoused?

[D]

No. Have you lived in a home on the street?

[A]

Yes, I have. I currently do.

[D]

Okay. When you put out your trashes.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

And you.

[B]

Your trashes.

[A]

When I put out a trash.

[D]

When you put out your trashes and your recycles.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

While they're on the street, are they yours?

[A]

I guess.

[D]

Good question. They're always yours. Okay. Good question to me.

[B]

She complimented her question and she answered for you. Burnt.

[D]

They're always yours.

[B]

I kind of like that.

[A]

Even after the city takes them away.

[B]

Good question to me. Good question to you. I gotta go. No, no, no, no. You just got here. No, you just got here.

[A]

I just got here.

[B]

Please. Okay. What I want to know is. Here's the thing. I get that it's not right. It bothers me too. But as you said yourself, just because it's sort of like. It's tacky.

[A]

It's tacky.

[B]

I think it's tacky. You know, just going around and grabbing recycling. You know, I just. It's.

[D]

Why when they're driving such a nice car.

[B]

No, the nice car about this is you just thinking, okay, okay. It Keeps coming up. So can you please explain to me what you mean by blinding signs?

[D]

Yes, they're blinding signs.

[B]

I'm gonna need more.

[D]

I always drive with my high beams on. So when they hit the city. Oh, you're one of those people so bright, right?

[A]

Cause they're reflecting.

[D]

Which is a problem I have with the city as well.

[B]

Oh, well, you could always just not have your brights on. And it's really not as bad.

[A]

You really shouldn't.

[D]

I would never drive without my high beams on.

[A]

What is that?

[D]

Because I've got to get to where I need to go and I've got to see.

[B]

Wait, but that's more of a speed issue, right? Not a sight issue.

[D]

If you gotta go fast, very slowly.

[B]

Why?

[D]

Why very slowly? High beams on.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

My daughter from ballet.

[B]

So you're someone who's driving on these roads. You're out here on these streets, you're Dr. With your high beams and at what do you think? Ten miles an hour?

[D]

Seven for the children, Right?

[A]

Because you don't want to hit me, children.

[D]

Yes, but I do.

[A]

Wait, you've hit children before their car?

[D]

Of course. Children are being so bad, setting things on fire.

[B]

Oh, she just gestured to me. Because she's mentioning. She's thinking of my boys. I get it. Listen, that's a fair point, but let's not bring my children into it.

[A]

They're also men now.

[B]

To be fair, they are men. Actually, they are your children. I call them my boys, but they're men. So it went from boys two Men. Okay, I love that movie.

[A]

Was that a movie? Boys to Men.

[D]

Love that film.

[B]

All right, so you only go to the end of the road, but with like seven miles an hour is what you're saying?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so I like to believe every

[D]

zone is a school zone.

[A]

Okay, but then you like to believe that.

[B]

But the thing is.

[D]

Because that's what I agree with.

[A]

With you think every. Every zone should be a school zone. Okay, but.

[B]

But if you drive too slow, that can also be dangerous.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

If you're not driving a speed limit, it's bad whether it is over the speed limit or under the speed limit. I think people forget about the under part.

[A]

Yes, they do.

[D]

I just, I. You know, it's my job to post online about the neighborhood.

[B]

Oh, like, is it like you're. Are you paid to do it?

[D]

No.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

But it's my duty and I pay myself to do it because someone has.

[B]

Someone has to notice your self employed poster.

[A]

What are the mechanics?

[D]

The mechanics aren't Fingers and.

[A]

No, no, no, I meant the payment.

[B]

Oh, the business model.

[D]

The business model, it just shows up. If you do the work, it will come to you. If you're. If you're from you. If you're an unemployed mom at home and you're rushing to get to your kids and to help your kids from people who want your recycling. The city's recycling. People who don't want to be able to. To see high visibility signs.

[B]

Wait, I'm going to stop you there. How do the men and the other men taking their cycles out, how are they affecting your kids

[D]

as a mother?

[B]

Good question to me.

[D]

Bad question to me.

[A]

Oh no, bad question to me.

[B]

I understand that.

[D]

As a mother, I'm shocked to hear you ask something.

[B]

Why? Why?

[D]

Because you want your, your little baby boy children to go outside and see.

[B]

Pretty accurate description.

[D]

People taking cardboard. Cardboards.

[B]

I don't.

[D]

I guess from not their bins.

[B]

Yeah, I take cardboard. Cardboard threat.

[D]

Because I don't want them to.

[A]

You don't want them to.

[D]

The law of the city council passed it.

[A]

It's not. I don't know about that.

[D]

Yes, I'm on every zoom and I understand.

[B]

I believe that you are.

[A]

I do believe that.

[D]

Yes, yes. For my children.

[B]

But see, that sounds like it were for yourself. Cause your children.

[D]

Oh, this is for everyone.

[B]

Have they mentioned it? Have they said to you, mom, let's talk about your kids for a minute. What have you got at home?

[D]

And I want to bring my kids into this. I have a couple of daughters in ballet that I have to go get.

[B]

Oh, I understand.

[A]

How old are they?

[B]

What are their names?

[D]

Around.

[A]

Around. I've never heard.

[B]

Not for the names or for the names.

[D]

I've never heard a parent answer a question this week. I don't like to say their ages really. Online. And I know exactly how radio programs like this work and it's gonna be on.

[B]

Well, first of all, we're not a radio program, we're a podcast. It's a little different.

[D]

But this is reporting, this is journalistic on the Internet.

[A]

Oh, I guess we don't think of our podcast as journalism.

[B]

No, it shouldn't be counted as journalism.

[A]

It's a more community aid.

[D]

Well, I'm very concerned with how I'm represented in the media. Media as Deborah.

[A]

Okay. Have you been in the media?

[B]

Yeah. Like what spaces are you on? What are you talking about?

[D]

Facebook posts.

[B]

And you mean you representing yourself or have people talked about you?

[D]

Neighborhap Need.

[B]

People have talked about you on neighborhap.

[D]

So many people are Talking about me so much.

[A]

The media.

[B]

What are they saying? What are they saying about you?

[D]

Well, they're saying, why is she posting so much? They're saying, why are her high beams on? Why is she driving so fast?

[B]

Do you hear. Do you hear that when you're. Wait.

[A]

They accuse you of driving so fast?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I didn't catch that.

[D]

If you can believe that there are people crazier than me out there.

[B]

Wait, is it possible that you're driving faster than you think you are? Because you are saying you're in a rush all the time?

[D]

That's that accusatory tone that the media tends to take.

[B]

We're not the media. We're not fake names.

[A]

Really not trying to do a gotcha here. Let me ask you this. Do you ever look at the speedometer when you're driving?

[D]

What's that? Spitometer?

[A]

Speedometer.

[B]

No, speedometer.

[A]

It is the. It's. It's a little dial or digital display

[B]

right in your line of sight.

[D]

I'm looking at the ballet.

[B]

The.

[D]

The ballet house that I have to go get my clothes from.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

And is that always in your field of vision from the moment you leave

[B]

your house really close to it? Do you live in a house on a street and.

[D]

Thank you. Good question.

[A]

Good question to you.

[B]

Oh, good question to you.

[C]

Our house in the middle of the street? Good question to me.

[B]

Who's that? That? Yeah. Sorry. That's my husband, Doug. He's recording in a different room.

[D]

I'm scared.

[B]

He's in a different room. You don't need to be scared.

[D]

Don't.

[B]

He's not doing anything.

[D]

There's a secret man in the house.

[B]

I've been married to him for a very long time, and he's not secret.

[A]

That's no secret.

[D]

I've read some posts about that. I will say I'm.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

What?

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

Are people posting about us on Neighborhood?

[C]

That I'm a secret man?

[D]

Of course I thought.

[B]

What are they posting? What are you talking about?

[D]

You were. You were. You should be involved in the discourse about your own discourses.

[B]

I try not to go on. As everybody. As I've talked about on this podcast. I don't like the comments. I get nervous about social media. So, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Are they saying bad things about me and Doug? No. Are they saying untrue things? No.

[D]

Truth and good or bad are all relative. They're subjective and they're the laws of the land.

[B]

You really like to say laws of the land.

[D]

Well, I'm on the line a lot.

[B]

Lot.

[A]

It is fun to say. Laws of the land.

[B]

I guess it is.

[A]

It's the law of the land.

[D]

Yes. All right, you're getting it.

[B]

But now.

[A]

But now. But now. Okay, so you say this thing about the nice cars, and you're assuming so nice.

[B]

What kind of cars are we talking about?

[A]

Great question to you.

[D]

One of them was Alexis.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

No, no, not babe. Not the name. Alexis Bledel. Wait, what?

[A]

From Gilmore Girls.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[D]

Passing through, driving. A man who came and took recycling.

[B]

Really? That doesn't sound like her. It really doesn't.

[A]

Well, being a man, I don't.

[D]

Haven't seen her recently, so I don't

[B]

know if she wasn't a man. I'm so sorry. I need to apologize for my husband, Doug.

[A]

You're verging on the Amelia Bedelian at this moment.

[D]

Yes. Also posting. She's posting.

[A]

No, she's not real.

[B]

She's not real.

[A]

No.

[B]

Shepard, I'm worried about, like, a sense of. There seems to be a very gray line between reality and maybe some things that are just not actually happening. Like you being able to see the ballet house, which I've never heard anyone say that. I hear people say ballet studio.

[A]

I've heard that.

[B]

I've heard that, too.

[A]

Yeah, you just.

[B]

I know I did.

[D]

Oh, I wish I understood humor.

[B]

Oh, no, you don't. You don't. Nothing makes you laugh, huh? Wait, you don't even know what a laugh is.

[A]

Have you ever laughed in your life?

[D]

I've got to get my girl.

[B]

Girls.

[A]

I understand, but you didn't always have

[B]

your girls, so can you tell us the names?

[D]

I'm not too sure about that.

[B]

Tell us their names and see, you're

[D]

trying to gutch me.

[B]

I'm not trying to. Got you.

[A]

No one's gotcha. No one's got you.

[B]

I'm not gotcha.

[A]

We're not gotcha. No.

[D]

I came on this program to alert the town.

[A]

Yes. That there is people taking recycling.

[D]

There are thieves.

[B]

Sounds like they're trying.

[A]

Hold on, hold on. How are they murderers?

[D]

What are they doing with the supplies? We can only imagine. We can only assume.

[A]

I assumed from your post, which you wrote twice.

[D]

Twice.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That almost said a third time here.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That you assumed by the mention of the nice cars that they were selling this stuff. They're only getting pennies for the pound, but they could be actually taking things that are useful to them and saying, I could use that.

[B]

Maybe they're recycling it, which is a wonderful thing.

[A]

Cycling is Wonderful.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

I'm so sorry. What does that mean?

[B]

Oh, well, it means that you take something that might be useless to somebody, like a broken cup, and you decide, no, I actually see in this broken cup a brand new lamp. And I'm gonna build a lampshade. I'm gonna build the stand. And now I have a lamp that I can sell to you. But you've never known it was from a piece of trash.

[A]

How big is that lamp?

[D]

Really small.

[B]

Guys.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

No, I'm just curious. I want to see it in my own story.

[C]

Joan is really proud of him.

[B]

Beautiful lamp.

[A]

I want to see it in my

[B]

mind, the journey that it went on. And this is the problem that you have with it. You wonder how big it is.

[A]

Joan, I have to say, good question.

[B]

It's a reading light. Okay. This is passive.

[A]

Okay. That's all I wanted to know. Joan.

[D]

Oh, the kind you attach to a book.

[B]

One would know something that you put on a nightstand. This is not what we should be arguing right now. I am trying to make a point.

[D]

I disagree.

[B]

And we got very distracted.

[C]

It's a lovely lamp.

[D]

Did you hear when he said, oh, well?

[B]

Which time? Burnt.

[D]

No, the burnt.

[B]

Who said, oh, well? Oh, yeah, he did say the men said oh, well, twice. With varying degrees of punctuation.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

That was a weird response. Oh, and also, how do you say it? Could you do a line reading for me?

[A]

Is it like, oh, well, I should say.

[C]

No, no, it's.

[A]

It's oh, well, is in quotes. And then afterwards, I think it is Deborah's.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Punctuation to it.

[B]

I wasn't clear.

[D]

That was my outrage.

[B]

So it was more like a oh, well.

[D]

Well, no.

[B]

Oh, how did they say.

[D]

Feels quite clear the way that I wrote it.

[B]

It's not. And I'm asking you to say it. Could you do it?

[D]

I just.

[A]

Should we role play it? I'll be you and you be the man.

[D]

No. When nobody here has time for this.

[B]

I mean, this is what we're doing, our podcast, so we have plenty of time. We actually booked time for this to talk to you.

[D]

Yes, I know. And I'm just hoping that there's a live frequency sort of getting out to everybody, keep their eyes. Eyes and ears.

[A]

I'm gonna try springing on her.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

You can be arrested for taking things. She didn't go for. It didn't work.

[B]

Try it one more time.

[A]

You can be arrested for taking things.

[D]

You sound so beautiful.

[A]

She's not. Oh, oh, well. I'm quoting.

[B]

She loves that's exactly right. Yeah, I get it.

[A]

Because I said, how did you know? What she said, how did you know?

[D]

That's my favorite thing to say.

[A]

Well, you said it twice.

[B]

You said it a couple times in there.

[D]

Yes, I say it as often as I can.

[B]

Okay, so then you strike me as someone who likes to see someone doing something go over, make sure that you give them your opinion of what you think about it.

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

And you know, a lot of people don't like that.

[A]

That's very true.

[D]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah. And Mike, okay, so let me have another moment for. Hopefully a good question to me. Do you have a lot of friends that you hang out with? Maybe friends? Do you have a community? Do you have a group online? Anyone in person?

[D]

The b. Yes. The. The girls at the ballet house.

[B]

The girls at the ballet house. You mean the other moms or. Yeah, teachers, mostly the girls.

[A]

The students.

[D]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

[A]

Okay. How many students?

[D]

Two.

[A]

Okay, so it's your.

[B]

Your daughters, Just your daughters? Yes. Really? They're the only students? Okay. This is a smaller bit. You know, I'm gonna say.

[A]

I'm gonna say it's probably the only student she's aware of.

[D]

I am. Organ. Lot of community events.

[B]

Oh, great. Let's hear some of those.

[A]

I gotta call. Such as.

[D]

Oh, yes. So there's the bake and wake, where you bake a lot of things and you mourn. And everyone in the town has always been invited to these things and they don't really show up. I. I guess.

[B]

Do you mourn? Are you mourning something one specific each time?

[D]

Or are you mourning everyone who has passed?

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

In that moment.

[A]

Right?

[D]

I. I mean, because as we all know, everyone is dying all the time.

[B]

Yeah. We don't like to think about it. Every. That is true.

[D]

Every moment someone is dying, which is why it's so confusing to me that people with nice cars will take those moments when they should be mourning or getting their girls from ballet house.

[B]

Let me ask you, what if they were in cars that were just mid. Like, what if they were just sort of like, nothing to write home about. Not ugly, not awful.

[A]

Like a sad Saturn.

[B]

Yeah, just like a regular car. Would that make you angry? Is it. Is it the cars that make you angrier? Or is it. Or what if it was just a sort of. Yeah, like a Saturn, like Burton said,

[D]

I would understand them being. Being thieves and murderers.

[B]

First of all, they are not.

[A]

We might get a clear answer on that.

[D]

How can you know that?

[B]

She's people. In your language.

[D]

You're not following them.

[A]

Around.

[C]

I got a good point when I said, who's that?

[A]

But I don't.

[B]

The same person. He's building a pirate slayer right now.

[A]

Why would you volunteer?

[B]

I'm sorry.

[D]

Out of cardboard and metals.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

Oh. Whoa. Almost got hit by a cannonball

[A]

that someone dropped.

[B]

It sounded like an actual cannonball by an actual human.

[A]

How far away was it shot from? We heard.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Cannon fire.

[B]

Like I said, it sounds like a human doing a cannonball. That's the cannonball. Right.

[A]

So. So I don't. I don't know that you can say, even though we don't know people are not murdering people.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That the default is to assume that they are.

[B]

Yeah. That just seems. That's not. You can't do that.

[D]

I want to return. And again, I don't have too much time, but I want to go back to what you said earlier, Joan, which is that people may not be liking the things I'm doing or saying.

[B]

I. I think that is true because you said people are posting about you all the time. They are talking about your driving as if it's dangerous. I think these might be things to pay attention to, perhaps.

[D]

In what way?

[B]

In the way that you say, oh, maybe I should stop driving so slowly, so fast. Maybe I'm actually driving very fast and I'm actually being very dangerous, and me being in a rush is actually causing other. Other problems for other people.

[D]

But how am I supposed to know that if that's true when everyone's always on the attack? To me all the time, I would

[B]

say that that's the indicator, because if it's just one person, you can always say, well, that's one person's opinion. But this seems to be everybody's opinion.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I bet if I saw you drive, my hunch is that I would think it was fast as well.

[A]

Do you know who you're reminding me of? Deborah. And I hate to say this. Oh, Craig Conover from Southern Charm. It's everybody's fault but you. Yours.

[B]

I. This is a reality show I've never seen, so I can't help you here with.

[D]

This is a nice thing to say.

[A]

Oh, no, I don't.

[B]

I don't for coming up with her. She's happy with.

[A]

I don't. I don't think you should be thinking that.

[D]

You know, I've been exchanging DMS online with Shep, and he.

[B]

Oh, she knows.

[D]

He says he. His dad is very sick, and so I sent him money.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh. Oh, no, no.

[B]

This is.

[A]

I think you got Scammed.

[D]

No, no. And Keanu Reeves.

[B]

Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Both of their dads are very sick.

[C]

No.

[D]

Keanu has several different accounts online.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Please don't release this episode, because this is.

[B]

We just will cut that part out.

[A]

Yeah, we'll cut this part out.

[B]

We're not gonna.

[D]

Husband doesn't know a thing.

[A]

Tell us about your husband.

[B]

Keanu.

[A]

Find out about Keanu first. What's Ke's problem?

[D]

To talk about my husband. But Keanu has several different accounts online. Because. Because the media is looking for him, and so he messages me. Found him several times from a bunch of different accounts.

[A]

What? Does he say why the media is looking for him? Does he say why the media is

[D]

looking for my love? They're looking for me.

[B]

Oh, so you're in a romantic relationship with him?

[D]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Has he asked you for money?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

That. Now, see, that doesn't trap.

[D]

Well, he didn't.

[B]

Keanu Reeves would not ask you for money.

[D]

He didn't need to.

[B]

Oh, dear. You just sent him money. Of course. Tamara, you have no way of knowing if you have not hung out with the actual Keanu Reeves in real life. You have no way of knowing if this is someone else. I said it too fast. I did not. Keanu Reeves.

[A]

Do you remember Kannaroos from when you were a kid?

[B]

I do not, but it sounds.

[A]

It was underwear that was. It looked like camel soup cans.

[D]

Oh, I thought that they were cans

[B]

that you dunk in frosting.

[D]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

You would dunk a tin can of frosting so you can pretend to be a goat. Now, you said you don't want to talk about your husband.

[B]

We do.

[A]

Can. Can we just ask you questions like how long have you been married?

[B]

Yeah, that's got to be fair.

[A]

Got to be.

[D]

40 years.

[A]

40.

[D]

40.

[B]

40 years.

[A]

How old are your kids?

[B]

Yeah. And how old are you?

[D]

Five and six, But I won't. And don't. Just don't air this episode.

[B]

I mean, what can't. We can't just simply not have an episode.

[A]

But why would we continue to talk? I don't know if we're just not gonna air this.

[D]

You've gotten my guard down. This is the longest I've gone without posting online.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

This is an accomplishment. And also, that's not healthy.

[D]

I don't know. I feel. I feel. I feel wonderful in this moment, and I feel terrible in this moment, so.

[B]

Well, you know what? That actually speaks to me, what that

[D]

means from the blinding signs.

[B]

Yeah. You've got to take Those brights off.

[D]

And I have no idea if my girls have gotten out of ballet this point.

[B]

Well, what time is their class? What time? How long does it last? Four. It lasts. It's done at four. Yes. All right, it's two o'.

[D]

Clock.

[B]

You're fine. It's not. It's literally going to be two hours from now that you need to go get there.

[D]

There's no way of knowing that.

[B]

No, there is because there's a clock. We have several clocks here. You can see in my kitchen they

[D]

have a few pre ballet activities as well.

[B]

Okay, such as?

[D]

Well, I have to drive them to the. To the bacon wake. And I have to drive.

[B]

They're going to the bacon wake pool. So. Wait, what do the five year old and six year old do with morning? Are they. Are they like comfortable with death and all of that?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. Have they. Have you guys lost someone close to you? No.

[D]

No.

[A]

Hamster in a shoebox?

[B]

No.

[D]

But here's the thing that this is what's wrong with society and what's wrong with this town is that people aren't teaching their kids stuff like this and people aren't aren't talking about it online.

[B]

Well, okay, the online part will leave aside, I do agree that some cultures, you know, educate us about death a little sooner, and I think that that can be good. And I don't think we should be

[D]

learning about those cultures. Vultures.

[B]

Oh, well, that.

[A]

Why is that?

[D]

Because I don't know about them and that scares me.

[A]

Oh, I see, I see, I see.

[B]

Okay, so if anyone is doing anything different from you, it's wrong. Yes. Yeah, this is. Cause this is.

[A]

She emphatically agreed with that.

[D]

You should come to dinner with me and Shep.

[B]

Is that his name? Your husband?

[A]

No, from Southern Charm.

[B]

Oh, sorry, I don't watch that show.

[A]

Has Shep promised to come see you here? Okay, I really believe that that's a scam. This happens a lot online where somebody impersonates a celebrity. I'm online. Sure.

[D]

So you see my posts?

[A]

Well, I've seen one of them.

[B]

Okay, yeah, I follow you.

[A]

So I read it at the beginning of this interview.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yes. And what happens is a lot of scam accounts will pretend to be celebrities saying, I know that you're a big fan of mine, I need help for some reason. And then sometimes they promise you something, sometimes they don't. They just say, I need help.

[D]

And do you think that they don't like the things I say or do?

[B]

I don't think that has anything to do with it. I think they send this email out to hundreds of people. They don't even who they're talking to. And it's a form letter.

[D]

And see, that's where you're wrong. These are dms.

[B]

Yes. Can also be. That's exactly. That can also be a scam.

[A]

They're just cutting and pasting, sending it to a million people.

[B]

That's all they're doing.

[A]

Hoping to catch up soon to believe us.

[D]

Sound like Shep.

[B]

Well, you just don't want.

[A]

Well, because it's not.

[B]

Believe it.

[A]

Because that's the whole thing.

[D]

I don't follow.

[B]

You're really on a one track mind here. Because you will.

[D]

Why would Keanu do that with so many different accounts?

[B]

You mean why? I'm sorry.

[A]

Oh, so multiple Keanu accounts are messaging. You saying they need help?

[B]

Yes. It's even more concerning.

[A]

I did not. I did not re.

[B]

I mean, are you posting about the Keanu thing? You shouldn't be posting about that.

[D]

Not on Maine. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I never posted about Keanu in Maine.

[D]

On 4chan.

[A]

4chan. Oh, my God. I. You shouldn't be there.

[B]

What?

[D]

It's a wonderful meeting place for mom.

[B]

Oh, wow. I mean, maybe it's changed.

[A]

Maybe mom's rehabilitating.

[B]

That would be good for it.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Michael's comment section.

[B]

The craft show.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I bet you it gets really bad. It gets nasty in there.

[A]

It does.

[D]

Yes. Informative.

[B]

Informative. Oh, can you give us an example of that?

[D]

So I. When I'm in the city council.

[A]

Zoom.

[D]

Public hearings, I'm also in the Michael's comment section for a lot of different ottomans, picture frames, types of Gl telling, update, giving them updates about what's going on.

[A]

So multiple tabs open following the city council meeting, but also tracking what's going

[D]

on with Michael's baking morning cookies.

[A]

Baking morning cookies?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, and what kinds of things are

[D]

they saying about watching my ring cameras that I set up at the recycle center?

[B]

Oh, so you set up cameras?

[A]

I don't think that's legal.

[B]

Yeah, that might not be legal.

[D]

Now, who is to determine something like that?

[B]

The person probably owns the building you attach the cameras to.

[D]

Yeah, there's not a bill.

[B]

A. Would you attach them to.

[D]

The recycles area is not a building. It's open air inside a building.

[B]

Okay, babe, who is that? I have. It's my. It's my husband. I've explained this before to you.

[D]

Who is this nice ghost?

[A]

He's not a ghost.

[D]

Shep.

[A]

It's not Shep. As much as we wish Shep were a ghost, it's not.

[B]

No. I'm worried about her. There seems to be a real disconnect from reality.

[D]

Better not be west. I'll tell you that.

[B]

I'm lost here because I don't watch Southern.

[A]

That's Southern House. That's Summer house. Southern house. That's a great. Southern house. Is a great show.

[B]

They have a. They have two shows. One is Southern charm and one is Southern charm. What are we doing?

[D]

There's Southern hospitality.

[A]

There was Southern charm.

[B]

Savannah, that did not.

[C]

Not.

[A]

Last big scandal on that show was somebody did. Did not disclose they worked a baggage claim at the airport.

[B]

Why does that matter?

[D]

Very disappointing.

[B]

Why did that matter?

[A]

It didn't.

[D]

It did.

[B]

It mattered to her. It mattered to her. It's a betrayal.

[D]

How did someone do that?

[A]

It just mattered to her. It was a betrayal. Can you imagine Summer House? There was a scandal with Summer House just recently.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which is where a bunch of the Bravo people all come together, be discussing the wrong place.

[B]

I need that.

[D]

My friends are going through a really hard time.

[B]

You call them your friends?

[D]

They are.

[B]

Oh, Based on what? Why? How are they your friends?

[A]

Dms.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. I think that you're being. You're being taken advantage of.

[D]

Yeah, that's not nice to hear.

[B]

Well, that's an honest. Now. That's an honest reaction. That is an honest reaction, and I appreciate it.

[A]

Doesn't mean it landed, though.

[D]

I am having a bad time.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

But not to worry. I always am.

[B]

Oh, you're always having a bad time.

[A]

What we're saying changes.

[B]

That does make me worry.

[A]

Yeah, that's not a great thing to be able to say. I'm always having a bad time.

[D]

It's just because Corgi.

[A]

It's just because Corgi.

[B]

Is that the name of your husband?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so Corgi is somehow. Is he part of your bad tactics time?

[D]

Yes, but that's what husbands are.

[A]

No, they're not supposed to be.

[B]

Shouldn't always be sometimes, maybe, but. But that's just life. What does Corgi do for a living?

[D]

Fetch. He. He. He came up with an app called Fetch.

[A]

Oh. And what happens on Fetch?

[B]

Oh, great.

[D]

You throw. You.

[B]

You.

[D]

You take a picture of a stick right outside and say. And find out who threw it and how and how far and see if you can return it.

[A]

No. Does the phone somehow. Does it. It. Does it identify the stick? Is that. Is that one of those apps where, like, when you're trying to find out what kind of bird it is. So you take a picture of the stick, and then the app will tell you, here's who threw the stick and here's how far. Yes, that seems impossible to me.

[B]

So are people on this app checking to see. I guess if you threw a stick, you're checking to see if someone found your stick.

[D]

Maybe.

[B]

And if it's a match? Because you have to.

[A]

I mean. Yeah.

[B]

Do you get alerted? Yeah.

[D]

Well, unfortunately, Deep State is blocking its ability to become popular. That's okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Is that what. What Corgi said?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Is fetch spelled F E, T, C, H, or is there some sort of clever spelling of it?

[D]

I'm so glad you asked. It's F, E, Z.

[B]

Really?

[A]

The end.

[D]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

I have a blood clot.

[A]

Oh, no. Why are you here?

[B]

This is so concerning.

[D]

I've gotta get my girls.

[B]

She just. She froze.

[A]

You have to go to the hospital.

[B]

She froze and she. It's like she powered down. I don't know where you went.

[A]

Like Olaf at Disneyland in France.

[D]

I'm so glad you asked. It is called. It is spelled F E T, C,

[B]

H, F E, C. That is what I said.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's the same. Well, that's the blood content.

[D]

Very clever.

[A]

That's blood clot talking.

[B]

You. Honestly, that's very serious. And I think you need. I think. I think all of your obsession with say no. People think.

[A]

That's not a matter of opinion. That's a very serious thing.

[B]

Again, it's like everybody around you. God gave me this blood clot.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

And I take all of the vitamins that I need to, and I take good care of my blood clots.

[B]

Blood clots are not something you tend to like a garden, like flowers. You need to eradicate them. You need to get rid of them. Because, you know, you said all of us are.

[D]

What violent language.

[B]

You said all of us are dying. I think you. You are dying. I think that you. You literally. Maybe this might be the day where you.

[D]

It could be instant you're dying.

[B]

Okay, that's. Again, it's not. Because you're not acknowledging.

[D]

This is. All of this not acknowledging what's going on in the real world is killing you.

[B]

I think what's killing you is how obsessed you are with these people in these cars.

[A]

Oh, I think it's the blood clots.

[B]

I think. What's causing the blood clots? Oh, that's what I mean.

[D]

The recycles. The recycles. Men are killing me and many people.

[B]

You're letting them affect you in a way that you have control over. I'm saying turn off the ring cameras. Don't look at it. Don't follow them. One night.

[A]

You don't need to care about them with your children.

[B]

And you might find if you put that phone down, that you have a peaceful night that doesn't make you angry.

[A]

Try to get your husband. Encourage your husband to get a real, actual job.

[B]

Yeah, tell Corky to get a job. Unless he's making just a ton of money off of Fetch, he's making billions of dollars. Billions.

[A]

Billions.

[B]

Yes. I would have. I would have heard of it.

[D]

I feel like you make one app, you make billions of dollars.

[B]

I mean, I know that that is possible.

[A]

Is this what Corgi says?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Have you seen proof of this? Billions of dollars.

[D]

I am not allowed. Loud.

[A]

Okay. I had a feeling.

[B]

I don't like that it just ended there. I mean, she could be not. She could be talking about a lot of things.

[D]

Joan, I think that you may have a future in life coach podcasting.

[B]

Well, thank you. I've actually thought about that.

[A]

You're going to take that as a compliment from her?

[B]

There are a couple other real estate actresses.

[D]

There are a couple other real estate actress life coaches that I listen to online.

[B]

Wait, no. What?

[A]

I've heard of real.

[B]

Someone already doing what I want to do.

[A]

I've certainly heard of real estate investors, novelists, but I've never heard actresses, real estate actresses, podcast or life coaches.

[D]

Yes. Everyone is doing everything everywhere. Nothing.

[B]

You got that right.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What'd you say, babe?

[A]

All at once.

[B]

Good one, babe.

[A]

Deborah, I feel like we have gotten away from the initial point of your appearance about the recycling. I agree, and I don't think we're gonna find any sort of resolution there. I hope you feel good that you've gotten your message out there.

[B]

Hang on.

[A]

But I think we've stumbled into something more important.

[B]

Yes, yes. But I do. Okay, finish, finish. I'm sorry. I had a thought.

[A]

Pretty much done.

[B]

Okay, great. I want to know, and I ask this often, have you received any. Did you receive any comments on this post?

[A]

Okay, well, she said people are talking about her all the time.

[B]

Well, about her all the time. But specifically, was there anyone else who seemed upset about this as you are in the comments?

[D]

Oh, yes, there are a few people who are upset that I. I'm posting their faces. That I found out where the men live.

[B]

Oh, no.

[D]

Yes. That I'm posting the license plates.

[B]

Yeah, that's not okay. Yeah, that's not okay.

[D]

Well, how else are we going to stop Them from murdering.

[A]

Again, we have no proof that they're murderers. And I know we have no proof that they're not. But you can't prove a negative.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

That is. Is not true.

[B]

I wonder how much of this is plot.

[A]

Source.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

This is utterly. It's frustrating because I want to help you. You're a mom. You've got two kids. I. I have 10 kids. What?

[A]

Yes, but only two go to ballet house.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

You have 10 kids.

[A]

Oh, I mean, I guess it's true. We. We never.

[B]

I guess we never established the number or she wouldn't tell us anything about them.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Are they all at the house? Do they all live with you still? I wish every question she has to take in. If it's. She's being injured by it, it's. It's. It's. It's baffling to her because I wish

[D]

that we would just focus on the. The important things.

[B]

She's also mostly done this entire interview with her eyes closed.

[A]

Yes. Which I. You know, it's hard not to feel that it's rude.

[D]

Well, I like to. I like to. I like to envision that I am driving to b. To the ballet house, and this is how I drive to the ballet.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. You don't drive with your eyes closed.

[D]

I do.

[A]

No, this is getting. Deborah, stop. You mustn't.

[D]

You mustn't. How did you two even get this job? And the ghost of she ship,

[B]

she's really far gone. I don't know what to do.

[A]

No, Deborah, I. I feel like we've hit an impasse here, because, you know, we disagree about recycling being. Stealing. Taking recycling from the bin.

[B]

And also, it also doesn't mean murder.

[A]

It doesn't mean murder. So we disagree on that. Also, I think your grasp of reality is tenuous at best.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

I have a good question.

[A]

Okay. Okay, Doug.

[D]

Okay, Doug, hit it, sweetheart.

[C]

Oh, I like that.

[B]

Okay, calm down.

[C]

At the recycling center, are there any signs that have three Rs on them?

[D]

Yes. They're blinding.

[C]

Do you know what those three R's stand for?

[A]

I. I don't.

[C]

Oh, jeez, that was close. Sorry.

[B]

I got. That. Can't be an actual cannonball, babe.

[C]

Sure is.

[B]

So were you gonna tell her what the R's stand for?

[C]

Reduce.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

The second one's the most, you know, impactful.

[A]

Here.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Reuse.

[B]

Right.

[A]

See?

[C]

And then the third are recycles. Yeah.

[B]

There you go.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Also a film.

[D]

Shep.

[B]

That's a movie. Rr. Oh, yes. Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

A bad movie.

[C]

Yes. Yes, yes.

[A]

Why do you really love that movie?

[C]

Oh, I missed that opportunity.

[A]

Honestly, Doug.

[B]

I missed a pirate moment when.

[A]

When I heard the cannonball. I thought, is he going for rr being a pirate?

[C]

You didn't say that out loud.

[A]

No, I didn't say it out loud for.

[B]

Of course it's your. It's for not saying it when you. What was your. What did you think was going to hit her?

[C]

The reuse people are reusing.

[D]

This is a really incredible point.

[B]

I know. I'm the one who said the upcycle things I never knew. Doug and I are having a fun.

[A]

Right?

[D]

I'm also. I'm also talking.

[A]

Yeah, no, we're. We can all talk at the same time. There's no law against it. We can all talk at the same time.

[B]

All right, so what?

[A]

Look, I think that they are taking advantage of the reuse idea and they're reusing something.

[D]

Well, I never knew that reuse was a part of it because the sign was so bright.

[A]

I know. The sign was so bright.

[B]

I see. I guess I should have said instead of upcycle, I should have said reuse because that's what I was trying to say, babe. That's all.

[D]

All being horrible stealers to take little cups and make them into a nightlight.

[B]

Yeah, that was my example. Maybe it wasn't the most eloquent. Okay. But I was trying to convey the same idea as that. And Doug said it more plainly.

[C]

Cycle sounds like maybe a bicycle. Like a unicycle kind of thing.

[D]

That's why I was.

[B]

I don't think anyone thought that big.

[A]

One of those really tall fixed gear bikes.

[D]

I've been really confused and upset ever since I started thinking about that.

[B]

About when? Which.

[D]

The bike.

[B]

Yeah. Unicycles. Isn't it great to see someone on a unicycle in a park?

[D]

So why would these people be reusing things?

[B]

Because they don't want to.

[A]

Hold on a second, Joan. Why wouldn't they?

[B]

There you go.

[D]

Please explain me.

[C]

Maybe that's how they got their nice cars. All that money saved.

[A]

Because not everything is a single use thing that you then just discard. Guard. What? This can't be news to you.

[D]

Deborah, what are you talking.

[A]

Deborah, do you wear new brand new clothes every day? Yes.

[B]

Why?

[D]

Amazon.

[A]

How are you? I order Amazon.

[D]

I order new clothes from Amazon every day.

[B]

What do you do with all the boxes?

[D]

Throw them into the.

[B]

The.

[C]

The recycles.

[B]

Recycles.

[A]

I don't want to wake up so quiet.

[B]

Me neither.

[D]

Me neither. That's not really revelatory. Of course I use the recipe cycles.

[A]

Of course you do.

[B]

But that's an example. You can reuse those boxes for all sorts of things. Like what? A diorama for your kid putting a. A gift in a box that is

[A]

weirdly shaped and passively breaking Christmas ornaments.

[D]

Why would I give my kid a. A contraceptive?

[B]

Okay. Do you understand what a diarama is?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

She's thinking diaphragm.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, I thought she thinking sticking a box.

[A]

Babe, how is that a contraceptive? Well, what do you think?

[D]

Is that something you. Would you reuse the recycles for?

[A]

No.

[B]

And what. What is that?

[A]

Answer the question, Chef Ghost.

[C]

Is that to me?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. Yes, sweetie.

[A]

Pointed question to you.

[D]

I'm just so. I'm scared and. So are we supposed to share all of our natural belongings and be one with each other?

[A]

I mean, that sounds nice.

[B]

Yeah. We don't have to share all of our belongings, but if we're done with a belonging. I mean, this is why people have yard sales. You hit a yard sale, right? You don't have any problem with someone coming up and saying, oh, I'll take this. Sometimes people have a yard sale, and they'll just say, free. There's no difference between that. It's like, I owned this. I don't want it anymore. Do you have use for it? Great. Now it can go. Have another journey. Make someone else's life. Great, I think.

[D]

You know, coming up on my first hour off of the Internet in 15 years.

[B]

This is groundbreaking.

[D]

Breaking and staring at the trees is sort of re. I feel my. My blood clot passing.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know you could do that.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

Like a stone.

[D]

I. I'm gonna pee it out.

[B]

Oh, dear. I don't know if that's grim. I don't know if that needs to happen here, but. Yeah, listen. I mean, sometimes we need to recycle ourselves, right? We need a chance to actually be turned around into something else.

[D]

We need to.

[B]

Is it coming up out of your mouth?

[D]

I'm gonna throw it up.

[B]

Oh, no, here, Please, Please do it in this bowl. Okay, well, this is a first here, everybody. We're about to watch a blood clot.

[A]

I don't think we've ever had somebody throw up a blood clot on box.

[B]

I don't have to think about it. I know.

[A]

Oh, and there it is.

[B]

So quiet. So demure.

[A]

Quiet.

[C]

That's got to feel good.

[B]

How are. I mean, it's disgusting, but how. How Are you doing?

[D]

I feel incredible.

[B]

Okay, I bet.

[A]

Is now a good time to say that the people taking the recycling is not that big a deal?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So you're not. You're not as concerned with that anymore?

[D]

No, I don't think I'm concerned with anything.

[A]

Let me. I don't know about that.

[D]

Well, leave my kids at ballet.

[B]

No, I mean, you don't have to do that. We don't want you to do that.

[D]

Go get them. Let them learn.

[B]

How do we get a little bit of the clap back in about the world?

[A]

Deborah, I'm going to hand you a spoon.

[D]

Occupy Wall Street.

[B]

I'm going to hand you that.

[A]

I'm going to hand you a grapefruit spoon. And just. I just want you to just put

[B]

it in my eye.

[A]

No, no, Deb. Just want you to scoop a little bit of clock.

[B]

My company makes these.

[A]

These spoons. What company?

[B]

Wait a minute. You said that you were unemployed and only paid yourself to make posts.

[D]

Well, of course, but I also work now.

[B]

How are we supposed to infer.

[A]

You can't say I'm unemployed.

[B]

But I also said unemployed, so.

[D]

I own Amazon.

[B]

I'm sorry, what? We know who owns Amazon. Yes. That's not you, Deborah. Never seen you in a headline. Never. Never heard about you.

[D]

Of course not.

[A]

Have you been into space?

[D]

Of course.

[A]

Okay. Deborah, it's been great having you on the show.

[D]

This has really been delightful.

[A]

I hope so.

[B]

Glad you hear that. You didn't seem to be enjoying yourself most of the time.

[A]

No, I'm glad the clot loosened things up a little bit. I don't think we can really help you any further than we already have, which is zero.

[B]

But we do wish you the best of luck.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I hate it when you do. You told. You said one of your goals this season was to go easier on the guests.

[A]

You're absolutely right. Absolutely right. Deborah, I'm sorry we couldn't help you. I do wish you the best.

[D]

Thank you. And I would love to take a moment of silence for everyone who is dying right now.

[A]

Oh, I don't know that we can do that.

[B]

No, now we're in a rush.

[A]

She's doing it.

[D]

Ship. She's Shep.

[B]

Shep.

[D]

Shep.

[B]

Is Shep dying right now?

[A]

We'll all shep right now.

[B]

Okay. All right. You know that is a die.

[A]

No. Now she's singing the Vanderbilt Rules song. I. I'm afraid we have to let you go, Deborah. And best of luck to you and to your husband, Corgi.

[B]

And to your 10 children.

[D]

Thank you. All right, I'm gonna go pick. I'm gonna get right back into my forums.

[B]

Go pick up that kid. Those kids.

[A]

Give our regards to the ballet house.

[D]

You got it.

[A]

We will return with the neighbor listen. When the neighbor listen. It's Joe. Liquor cannabis deli gas station with five electric fast charging station. Okay, need I say more? You maybe you didn't hear so good. Liquor cannabis deli gas station with five electric fast charging station. All of it. Everything that I said is true. So you know what to do now or don't you? I can't hold your hand through this. Liquor cannabis deli gas station with five electric fast charging station. Okay, Joe,

[B]

That's how she made you feel. Feel, huh? I know it was a tough guess to remind you of your goal about, but I. I know that you would be happy if I reminded you because you did set that intention.

[A]

I appreciate that.

[B]

But it was a tough ask because she really was difficult.

[A]

Divorced from reality.

[B]

Absolutely not. Well, threw up a blood clot in my kitchen. There was so much noise in the beginning, and then it just happened completely

[A]

silently like she does it all the time.

[B]

I don't even know what to do with it. I. I poured it out in. In the yard, hoping maybe it would give something thing in the. No for Shep. I was.

[A]

I pray you never see Southern charm. I pray.

[B]

Please, I wish you would stop talking about it. It's going to make me want to look at it because I don't like being out of the conversation. I don't like not knowing what I'm talking.

[A]

I don't like all these Craig Conovers coming in here blaming everyone but themselves for their problems.

[B]

Why do you watch it if you're warning other people off of Just happens. Oh, boy. That just. His whole face got a shadow on it.

[A]

I don't know why I watch it. It just happens.

[B]

You don't have to. It just happens. You find yourself watching it. Oh, my gosh. Don't. This is just because you've been away from Gabby for a while. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think you're really. I think this is really taking a toll on you being away from Gabby all this time in the incident.

[A]

I think that you're right. And then I just need to.

[B]

Oh, he's doing a little kid cry together. Oh, gosh. Oh, it means it's really bad. There you go.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Sometimes you just need to let that out. I think you've been really playing this down burn. And I think you're You're. You're surprised by the toll it's taken.

[A]

I'm stressed. I'm stressed.

[B]

Of course you are. This is ridiculous.

[A]

Plus, the. The falls. Busy's been on fire for three days.

[B]

What? I'm sorry, like what?

[A]

It's not a big deal.

[B]

It's not in the fire. What do you mean the pharmacy's on fire?

[A]

Part of the pharmacy is on fire. It is contained. It's almost out.

[B]

What is the problem?

[A]

We've been allowed to go back in.

[B]

You're working while there is an active fire?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That seems very unsafe.

[A]

It's not like getting into the store where the customers are.

[C]

I hope it hasn't damaged the falls.

[B]

Yeah, no.

[A]

And the falls were no help, by the way. Boy, oh, boy.

[B]

Now, listen, ever since the fire department took that sabatical to write a novel, they have always been grossed up by fire. As I've said before, they would get to a fire and go, ew.

[A]

Yeah. And you had to prompt them. What did you do? Do you live here? You had to prompt them to put the fire.

[B]

They become really snobby and really just annoyed about it because they think they're authors now. And should.

[A]

Let me ask you this. Should the fire department be wearing sunglasses all the time?

[B]

Oh, definitely not.

[A]

Yeah, definitely not indoors at night.

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

And. And so I can understand why perhaps that's going on, but do you know how the fire started?

[A]

They suggest they suspect foul play.

[B]

Foul play?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So someone died?

[A]

No, that. It was arson.

[B]

Okay. But I did. I thought that foul play only referred to murder.

[A]

No, from the movie.

[B]

I mean, I just wanted to make sure. I thought I knew what you were saying.

[C]

To be in baseball, too.

[B]

You're right, babe.

[A]

Very true.

[B]

Good catch.

[A]

I. I do not believe it refers exclusively to murder.

[B]

Okay, but why wouldn't you just say arson?

[A]

It's more fun to stay.

[B]

Okay. That's what it was about.

[A]

Live a little.

[B]

Okay, well, you're at a low moment, so I won't let you live a little. I'll let you say foul play.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

You should always say. You should always suspect foul play before you reveal what the foul play is. That it's arson. I think drama logic.

[A]

You know, you should always. Drama logic. Yeah.

[B]

Yes, it makes dramaturgical sense. So who do you think started the Firebird? Do they know?

[C]

Not Billy Joel.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, babe.

[A]

I know. He and accomplices did not start the fire. That's what they claimed. Doug, man, something's happening to you.

[B]

He really should do A rewrite. By the way, he should do a sequel because, God, would he have a lot of shit to do right now. That'd be incredible. The longest song ever.

[A]

Doug is operating on the principle of first thought.

[C]

Speak thought. Yeah, it's too much.

[B]

Even you're saying it. Wow. Okay.

[C]

I'm just saying he's kind of got a blanket pass for all fires, I think.

[B]

I think we're talking about two different things. I don't think Doug meant that him saying things immediately once he thinks them is too much. I think he's talking about.

[C]

No, I do think that.

[B]

I can't. I can't tell which thing you're talking about.

[C]

Babe, I gotta get out of here. Here's the thing.

[B]

What? What happened?

[C]

I'm stuck. I'm stuck in pirate jail right now. I gave Escrow the key.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

Why'd you do that? I know. And he swallowed it.

[B]

The robot dog would have helped you more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I do feel like you would have had a better chance convincing that animatronic dog correct the.

[C]

Oh, yeah. But the animatronic dog can't, you know, come over and give me the key.

[B]

Well, neither can Escrow, so I will do it. I will come over and give you the key. Okay, I have one post and we're going to do this. This is kind of an interesting one. This is really specific. This is Cheryl. And she asks, or she says, rather, looking for a nice, unique, healthy breakfast sl brunch place for Easter. Party of four for two vegetarians. It's as if she thinks she's making

[A]

the reservation right now, so this will just happen.

[B]

Why does she think she needs to let all of the neighborhood know the party? How many party.

[A]

We don't need to know. They're vegetarian. Well, I guess a vegetarian thing. If you know of a place that is vegetarian friendly, sure.

[B]

Listen, I know I talked about white women of a certain age traits. And this is really capturing a bunch of them. I mean, she's just saying this is what I want. Someone do it. And it's very baffling to me. First of all, what does she even mean by what do we mean? What do we mean by unique, healthy brunch place these days? What are we talking about? Unique. Unique. What's unique?

[A]

The restaurant shaped like a boat.

[B]

Is it one of those places where the waiter comes and squats down next to your table?

[A]

I've made. I've drawn a line in the sand, by the way.

[B]

What?

[A]

No more shared plates?

[B]

Oh, no more shared plates.

[A]

I don't care if it's a place

[B]

that does share plates when everyone wants to share. I never have had. I never get enough.

[A]

I'm gonna say, I'm eating. This is what I'm eating. You guys eat whatever you want.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I'm not paying for all of it.

[B]

That's correct.

[A]

Because they burn, they will talk you into.

[B]

Oh, they will.

[A]

Too many things.

[B]

Yes. Not enough. And because you have to share, you didn't get your own plates. You didn't get enough food.

[A]

I've never had the experience where it's not enough food. Because the people I'm with, these dumb dumbs, they always fall for the waiter, talking them into, well, if I were, you know, this party, I would get like six, seven, eight things.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

You can always order more problems. They always ended with, you can always order more. As if they're. They're tricking you into thinking, this is not going to be enough.

[B]

I think you're going to out with like, other pharmacists, other men. See, when you're out with just like three women, they're just like, well, we'll share it. And then everyone's starving and no one says a thing.

[A]

Yeah. That's ridiculous.

[B]

And it's. I'm so sick of having two bites of bass, you know, Two bites of bass, a potato and one tortilla.

[A]

Two bites of bass.

[B]

That's not enough for me.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

I need all the tortellini or all the bass.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's just me and my truth.

[A]

I'm. I'm very excited to be defiantly say to the waiter, I'm having this one and then this one.

[B]

You should. And you know what? The rest of the table be damned. Now you can still get fries for the table.

[A]

And then when.

[B]

That's always fun.

[A]

You should get fries for the table. When. When he. When he or she says, when they say, and you know, I would recommend probably this size. I get six, eight things. I'm gonna say, no, guys, we're not doing that. I'm say right in front of them. Wow.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

That is good for you. See, it doesn't have.

[A]

I'm gonna say, no, no, no insult to you. No insult to you. But I. I know what's going on.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I know you have to say that.

[C]

You know, you could say, I'm saying

[A]

we're not doing that.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

You know, you could add, I love you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

When they say, I love you too.

[C]

A. Oh, I Love you too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're friends. It's great.

[B]

Yeah, it's great.

[A]

It's great to be friends.

[B]

It sure is. Are you okay? I don't think I am.

[A]

I think I'm ever.

[C]

When they say. When they say, have you ever eaten here before? And you. Cuz you know it's coming. I know you could say no, but I know how it works.

[B]

Oh, and you know what? That's interesting because there's a thing.

[C]

I know how food works.

[B]

There's a thing going around.

[A]

No, but I've been to a restaurant.

[B]

There's a thing going around of waiters saying we do things a little differently here. And that is the worst.

[A]

Right? No, you don't.

[C]

That just came to Dignity Falls.

[B]

Yes. That just hit us. And we're not loving that. We do different things differently here.

[A]

You know what they're saying here in restaurants at Dignity Falls? They're saying, how are fourth bites tasting?

[B]

Yeah. And they're asking for the tip before you even order.

[A]

They say, what are you going to tip me?

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And then they make you shake on it.

[C]

Feeling gratuitous.

[B]

It's really not. It's really not. It's really not a great experience to dine out.

[A]

So gratuitous. The joker.

[B]

We never have that problem when Doug and I go out. Cuz I do all the ordering. I mean, he's coloring the menu and I.

[A]

No matter where you are, no matter

[B]

where you are, I bring crayons just in case.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

And I just do it all, you know, so I get what I know he'll eat. Do you say, and the gentleman will have the quesadilla. And then no matter where you are, kids quesadilla.

[C]

I love the surprise quesadilla.

[B]

It has to be the kids quesadilla. But they always put a surprise in it. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Surprise.

[B]

What, like Captain Crunch?

[A]

What, Is this a real thing?

[B]

In Dignity Falls, it is.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You're welcome.

[A]

Now I understand.

[C]

Sometimes it's just not at all a quesadilla. But they, you know, sometimes when they

[B]

tried doing a deconstructed quesadilla and that

[A]

was any more surprising. Quesadilla. This is a tuna melt.

[B]

There was that whole period where they were deconstructing things and they tried to deconstruct a quesadilla and it was an absolute mess.

[A]

They were, you know, because molecular gastronomy was a thing. And then they started doing cellular gastronomy and it was just disgusting. You had to. First of all, the Food was so small, you had to look at it through a microscope.

[B]

Oh, it's like, I don't want to

[A]

have to look through. I had to eat my whole meal through a microscope to cut up my food.

[B]

Yeah, it was with a tiny, tiny,

[A]

tiny knife and fork.

[B]

It's like being a surgeon.

[A]

I don't want that. I don't want that here.

[B]

Oh, no. I really don't want either. And then there was a cellular gastronomy place that was one of those also, like, the lights are out, you know, so that was a mess.

[A]

That was. They say. Okay, so there's a microscope in front of you. You won't be able to see anything. What are we doing here?

[B]

Oh, dear. Well, you know what? That's why a lot of times we just eat in or we're ordering.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you don't. Okay.

[A]

Because the restaurants here are crazy.

[B]

I think you should stay with us tonight. I think you should stay here.

[A]

Sleepover.

[B]

You're making weird choices vocally, and I'm worried about you.

[A]

Is that a sign of something? It is weird vocal choices.

[B]

Yes. It's absolutely a sign. So we're gonna get on that. We're gonna just make a pizza, maybe.

[A]

Oh, fun.

[B]

Yeah. Doug loves a boboli.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

You just need to plain some. Just plain bobbly. Yeah.

[C]

Uncooked.

[A]

Straight out the fridge.

[C]

Breakfast Boboli.

[A]

Breakfast. Oh, breakfast boboli. Just that and a spoonful of coffee grounds. Well, that's all the time we have for this episode of the Neighborhood Listen. Thank you so much for listening. If you liked your ad, Free virgins of the show. Did it sound like I said virgins? I was gonna let it go a

[B]

little bit, but you know what? Let's just get you done, and then let's just get some food in.

[A]

You really talking to me like a mom right now?

[B]

I am, because right now I think I have to mother you.

[A]

Maybe I do need a mom.

[B]

You did the little kid cry.

[A]

I did do a little kid cry. That was mortifying.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

Keep it in, Doug.

[B]

Brave.

[A]

I want to say that you should go to cbbworld.com sign up on the Maximus tier. You'll get ad free versions of the episodes.

[B]

You said versions again.

[A]

And you get some bonus rooms that have been around the block. I can't think of anything else to say. Goodbye.

[B]

Goodbye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[A]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and me,

[C]

Nicole Parker, and me, Brett Morris.

[A]

This episode's guest was played by Isabella Ray. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[B]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show going. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[A]

Sterling K. Brown.

[D]

And I'm Chris Sullivan.

[B]

And we host the podcast that was

[D]

Us now on hell, each episode we're

[B]

gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[A]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit.

[B]

Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[C]

A whole lot.

[A]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.