Shreds NOT Smooth with Ruha Taslimi

Summary

Episode Summary: "Shreds NOT Smooth with Ruha Taslimi"

Release Date: June 10, 2025

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Introduction to Dignity Falls

In this episode of The Neighborhood Listen, hosts Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) dive deeper into the quirky happenings of their hometown, Dignity Falls. The episode introduces Ruha Taslimi as a special guest, adding a unique perspective to the unfolding neighborhood stories.

---

Mystery of Jaliope's Prescription

The conversation kicks off with Burnt confronting Joan about a mysterious prescription that surfaced unexpectedly. This leads to a humorous yet concerning discussion about Jaliope's unconventional use of medication.

• Burnt (00:35): "Is there any update on Jaliope and her mystery prescription?"

• Joan (07:43): "She's pouring out the insides... putting them back together to make jewelry out of them."

The group grapples with the bizarre notion of turning medication capsules into earrings, highlighting both concern and amusement over Jaliope's creativity.

---

The Quest for Shredded Pimento Cheese Dip

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Pam's search for a specific type of pimento cheese dip. Pam describes a unique dip that retains shreds of cheese, distinguishing it from the standard smooth varieties.

• Pam (31:18): "It had shreds of cheese in it. Not smooth tia."

The hosts explore various possibilities, joking about the intricacies of pimento cheese and sharing personal preferences for different brands and preparations.

• Joan (33:43): "I love the Dean."

• Burnt (35:38): "You could just cut out the store and just make what he just said, because that might be good, right?"

Their lighthearted banter underscores the community's collective effort to locate this elusive dip, blending humor with genuine neighborhood camaraderie.

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Palm's "Single Pringles" Invention

Palm, a listener and guest, introduces an inventive yet eccentric project: packaging single Pringles for individual consumption. This segment is rich with improvisational humor and playful skepticism from the hosts.

• Pam (44:16): "I do program myself to have these creative dreams."

• Joan (58:48): "Welcome. We wish you the best of luck, Pom."

The discussion delves into the practicality and novelty of single-serve Pringles, touching on packaging challenges and market reception, all while maintaining a comedic undertone.

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Tragicomic Incident: Peens the Cat

A heartfelt yet humorous narrative emerges as Pam recounts the unfortunate demise of her cat, Peens, due to mishandled Pringles.

• Pam (54:14): "Peens choked on the Pringle. They tore her up from inside the whole way down."

• Joan (55:03): "This is traumatic. I'm so sorry you went through this."

The hosts navigate this somber topic with sensitivity, interspersed with their signature wit, reflecting on the unexpected consequences of Palm's single Pringles experiment.

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Community Wishlist: Movie Ideas for Seniors

Towards the episode's end, Lily reaches out for suggestions on classic movies suitable for senior viewers. The hosts enthusiastically recommend beloved films, blending nostalgia with their humorous take on cinematic classics.

• Joan (75:52): "I think we're not a movie podcast, but here's Cannonball Run."

• Burnt (76:07): "Have you ever had a turkey in an apple tea?"

Their playful recommendations not only address Lily's request but also highlight the community's diverse tastes and the hosts' ability to engage with listener input creatively.

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Conclusion and Future Episodes

As the episode wraps up, the hosts tease upcoming content, including a focus on birds and an exclusive BONUS ROOM episode. They encourage listeners to engage via social media and subscribe to unlock additional content, maintaining the show's interactive and community-driven essence.

• Doug (70:27): "We'll be back with the neighborhood. Listen."

• Joan (79:56): "Until then, goodbye and bye."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Burnt (07:43): "She's pouring out the insides... putting them back together to make jewelry out of them."

• Pam (44:16): "I do program myself to have these creative dreams."

• Joan (55:03): "This is traumatic. I'm so sorry you went through this."

• Joan (75:52): "I think we're not a movie podcast, but here's Cannonball Run."

• Burnt (76:07): "Have you ever had a turkey in an apple tea?"

---

Key Takeaways

• The episode masterfully blends humor with heartfelt moments, showcasing the unique dynamics of Dignity Falls' community.

• Listener engagement is central, with Pam's contributions driving significant plotlines and discussions.

• The hosts maintain a balance between improvisational comedy and genuine concern, creating an entertaining and relatable narrative for both regular listeners and newcomers.

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This episode of The Neighborhood Listen encapsulates the essence of community storytelling, enriched with inventive discussions and the charm of Dignity Falls' most intriguing residents.

Transcript

[Joan]

Hi, Zoe Saldana.

[Burt]

Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.

[Joan]

Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.

[Burt]

You don't need to trade in. When you switch to T Mobile, we'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro. Plus we'll help you pay off your old phone. Up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it.

[Joan]

There's always a trade in. Not right now.

[Burt]

At T Mobile.

[Joan]

I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma.

[Burt]

That's okay.

[Joan]

I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer. It's lavender.

[Burt]

I'm good. Seriously.

[Joan]

Let me check this pocket. Oh, mints.

[Burt]

Really, I'm fine.

[Joan]

Oh, I have raisins. I'm a mom. Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car.

[Burt]

It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile. Get a new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple intelligence on us, no trade in needed. We'll even pay off your Phone up to 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits. New line $100 plus a month on experience beyond Finance Agreement $999.99 and qualifying. Ported for well qualified plus tax and $10 connection charge. Pay off via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days credits end in balance due if you pay off early or.

[Joan]

Cancel mobile.com craving your next action packed adventure? Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. Like Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, where a lone astronaut must save humanity from extinction. Narrated with stunning intensity by Ray Porter. From electrifying suspense and daring quests to spine tingling horror and romance and far off realms, unleash your adventure aside with gripping titles that'll keep you guessing. Discover exclusive Audible originals, hotly anticipated new releases and must listen bestsellers that hook you from the first minute. Because Audible knows there's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat. Start your free 30 day trial at audible.com wonderyus that's audible.com wonderyus hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Burt]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Joan]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[Burt]

Streets and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room. Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Joan]

And now please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Burt]

Knock, knock.

[Joan]

Who's there?

[Burt]

Your neighbor.

[Joan]

Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and.

[Doug]

Us Burn and Joan.

[Joan]

From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Burt]

We'll cover and meet new neighbors as well.

[Joan]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in.

[Burt]

To the Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen. The Neighborhood Listen is the podcast that explores the neighborhood that we are going to listen about what is that neighborhood, why it's Dignity Falls. And who am I? I'm one of the residents of Dignity Falls. My name is Burt Miapede. I am the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Fall Intimacy, and with me, as always, is.

[Joan]

Are you okay?

[Burt]

I'm fine. I'm fine.

[Joan]

Take a break.

[Burt]

I just wanted to get through it.

[Joan]

Started by looking up, straight up at the ceiling.

[Burt]

Joan, I could see the look of concern on your face out of my peripheral vision, and I just wanted you to look away so I could get through.

[Joan]

I looked down. I looked down until the end when I thought maybe I needed to jump in.

[Burt]

I was so close to the end. I was so close.

[Joan]

You really did a good job. I just was worried you weren't going to take a breath.

[Burt]

No. Well, now, has that ever happened where I stopped breathing?

[Joan]

That happens a lot. You know, the one.

[Burt]

That's fair. That's fair. And I. I take it back.

[Joan]

I am Joan Pedestrian. Hello.

[Burt]

No one's disputing it.

[Joan]

I am the top realtor here.

[Burt]

Correct.

[Joan]

And a local actress.

[Burt]

That's correct.

[Joan]

We've gone with local actress because amateur actress sounded somehow derogatory. And then you bring it pressing, and.

[Burt]

I think it plants it in people's minds.

[Joan]

Well, but I just. It was just an update. Sometimes I think people, if they have a listener. Listen. Listened. Have you ever pronounced the t. Listene. That's really listening, which is what an actor does. You know, the acting is mostly listening.

[Burt]

Mostly. What's the rest of it?

[Joan]

I went for the. I went to lean my elbow on the table and missed it when I did that just now.

[Burt]

Good thing acting is emotionally leaning.

[Joan]

Yes. Because they say actor. Acting. Actoring. Actoring is listening.

[Burt]

Why isn't it actoring?

[Joan]

I don't know that. Actually, somehow that would be better.

[Burt]

You know what? I retract that.

[Joan]

It sounds.

[Burt]

Because it's not plumbering.

[Joan]

I guess that's true. I.

[Burt]

We're off to a terrible start.

[Joan]

Oh, no, that's not true.

[Burt]

Burns, delete this. Doug.

[Joan]

No, no, no.

[Burt]

Doug. Of course Is our engineer.

[Joan]

Hey, babe. And my husband.

[Burt]

He's in a different room in the house. We don't know where he is. He's about to tell us.

[Joan]

Do you want me to tell everyone or do you want to tell us?

[Doug]

I can tell everyone.

[Joan]

Okay, go ahead and tell everyone. Babe, where are you?

[Doug]

I'm in my bivouac.

[Burt]

Why do you have a bivouac now?

[Joan]

Just for the listeners who might not know. A bivouac is.

[Doug]

It's kind of a makeshift shelter.

[Burt]

Like the Wham song.

[Doug]

Yeah, that's.

[Burt]

That's a part I can sing.

[Joan]

You mean like jitterbug?

[Burt]

Jitterbug.

[Joan]

That is, as we know, Burn can only sing one note, and that is a good one. We keep on finding songs. You can do.

[Burt]

You gotta do that medley.

[Joan]

Yes. It would just be you going ba ba Bram, Jitterbug.

[Palm]

Dog.

[Joan]

Boy, whatever the crash Test dummies one was. Or what was it?

[Doug]

I know just the.

[Joan]

No, no, that goes up.

[Doug]

That's why I just said. That's why I just said. That's why I just said.

[Joan]

So wait. Go back to the bivouac.

[Doug]

Back to the bivouac.

[Burt]

I'm sorry.

[Joan]

Back to bivac.

[Burt]

Just very quick.

[Joan]

Back to the bivouac.

[Burt]

Did Admiral Akbar survive the trap? Yes. I remember him yelling, it's a trap. But did he make it out?

[Joan]

He. He's rolling around on his. On his office desk.

[Burt]

Chair.

[Doug]

Fro.

[Burt]

Office.

[Joan]

He needed a standing desk. At least on that spaceship.

[Burt]

I don't know how strong his legs were though. He's a lobster man.

[Joan]

That's true.

[Burt]

Whatever.

[Joan]

He's a squid. I think he's a squid.

[Burt]

I guess he is more of a squid.

[Joan]

Yeah, because of his head for sure.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Joan]

Yeah. Now maybe he's half lobster, half squid. I don't know.

[Burt]

It's not for us to say.

[Joan]

Maybe he's a squibster.

[Doug]

If he didn't. If he did perish in that trap. I hope that on his tombstone it just says, like I told you. So.

[Burt]

He realized it a little too late. I don't think he was telling people. I think he was discovering that it was a trap.

[Joan]

I think we are meant to believe he didn't survive. But it is a good question. We don't see the proof.

[Burt]

This is not a movie.

[Joan]

Anyone can come back from the day we manage. It's not a movie. Somehow they managed to get to a movie within easily four minutes. Since starting all the time.

[Burt]

I bet this is not our fastest time either.

[Joan]

Oh, I Don't think so.

[Burt]

I bet. But anyway, Doug, you're in. Poor one out for Admiral Akbar. He's surely dead by now.

[Joan]

Definitely.

[Doug]

Speaking of Admiral Akbar. Okay, it's a tarp. I'm under a tarp.

[Burt]

Oh, I see. Fun scrambling.

[Joan]

I'll put that on a pillow for you.

[Doug]

I'm in the bushes.

[Joan]

Oh. I mean, a lot of people on Etsy will sell pillows that say it's a trap. There's a lot. There's a huge sector of Star Wars. Cute little collectibles that people make on Etsy.

[Burt]

I don't doubt that. But you're saying there's a lot of pillows that say it's a trap.

[Joan]

I've seen them. I've seen aprons. I've seen hand towels.

[Burt]

All right.

[Joan]

Cross stitches, big favorite. Okay, back to the bivouac.

[Doug]

I'm keeping my eye on things because some kids egged our. Our front yard.

[Joan]

Oh, yesterday. At first we thought it was our boys because they do that all the time, but they're living here and it'd be a weird thing for them.

[Doug]

Got on the car. I think it was maybe one of Jaliope's suitors.

[Joan]

Oh, yes.

[Doug]

Or someone.

[Burt]

Is there any update on Jaliope and her mystery prescription? I confronted her.

[Joan]

I. First of all, this is. This is regard in regards to what burnt. Just decided to bring to my attention in the middle of a recording, which was. Was a strange thing to do because I really didn't have a time to actually react. Remember that my daughter showed up with a prescription that I don't know about, and then. Was it Billy that grabbed it?

[Burt]

Yes.

[Joan]

And.

[Burt]

And the very tall pharmacist.

[Joan]

Yes. And was like, don't worry about it or something like that. I don't know. Did he do that thing where he.

[Burt]

Holds it up above my head? I jumped once and then I said.

[Joan]

I'm not doing this like Tom Hanks did to John Hurd in Big. It's another movie. Don't you remember when they're playing another movie, Racquetball.

[Doug]

Can I ask a question?

[Burt]

I do remember that.

[Doug]

What about this prescription?

[Joan]

Yes.

[Doug]

Did you happen to see burnt skull and crossbones on the label?

[Joan]

Well, that means.

[Burt]

Well, now, I didn't see the bottle itself. I just. And doctors will not put a skull and crossbones.

[Joan]

They don't. They put a big sticker that says on it. That's what they'll do. Something like that.

[Burt]

I did not see. I did not see the contents of the piece of paper. So I have no idea what that prescription was.

[Doug]

Could you smell it?

[Joan]

Well, here's the piece of paper. Well, here's what.

[Doug]

Now I'm getting what you're saying.

[Burt]

Okay, good.

[Doug]

I'm picking up.

[Joan]

Here's what I have learned. Okay, Wait, what did you say?

[Doug]

Some pieces of paper.

[Burt]

He's picking up what I put. What I'm putting down.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Doug]

I will add some pieces of paper. Smell good.

[Burt]

Okay. Are you thinking of mimeographs from when you were in grade school? Are you thinking about scratch and sniff stickers?

[Doug]

Possibly.

[Joan]

Well, who knows? I used to. I used to clean the paper every day when it would get dropped off in the morning. That's what he's reacting to.

[Burt]

What's that process?

[Joan]

I hate the smell of newspaper print. It's just. It's just a fact.

[Burt]

Know that.

[Joan]

Yes. It's just a fact. I can't. I can't stand it. You know, I'm one of the few people that doesn't mind that everything went online because, ugh, those newspapers. Just the smell of it. And when you have kids, you got to use it all the time for crafts, and then it gets on your fingers. It's just the worst.

[Burt]

They should have solved that a long.

[Joan]

They should have absolutely solved that a long time ago. So.

[Doug]

Papier mache.

[Joan]

Exactly. We did a lot of paper mache.

[Burt]

Great example.

[Joan]

Thank you, Doug, for chiming in with that. Great example.

[Burt]

Perfect chiming.

[Joan]

No notes on the chiman. It's been a while since we had a perfect time in.

[Burt]

It has been a long time.

[Joan]

Let's reset. Let's reset the calendar.

[Burt]

It has been zero days.

[Joan]

Yes. So what I would do is I would. I would rinse them in the. I would put. I would put them in a dry. I actually do a dry rub.

[Burt]

Huh.

[Joan]

Of bath salts, but not. You know, this was before bath salts were taken from us. And we can't have nice things.

[Burt]

Oh, we used to love bath salts here.

[Joan]

We used to have nice things like bath salts.

[Burt]

Boy.

[Joan]

And I. So I had, like, a sea salt lavender scrub, and I would just basically, like an iPhone that needed to be dried, would stick it in a big tub of that salt, and it would come out smelling good. So I think that's what Doug is referring to. When paper smells so good and it's salt. Yeah. You know, it doesn't make sense. Here's what I learned from Jaliope. So I did confront her, and it was terrible. And I asked Doug to help me, and he just sat there the whole time crying.

[Burt]

Not a good. I thought it.

[Doug]

Hold on.

[Joan]

No. 0 chiman.

[Doug]

I thought it would be a good cop, bad cop situation.

[Burt]

And which were you? It's not good cop, sad cop.

[Doug]

I was just sort of the. Sort of the. Like the Forest Whitaker cop.

[Palm]

What?

[Doug]

I just feel like he cries a lot.

[Joan]

Movie are you talking about?

[Doug]

He cries in every movie he does.

[Burt]

You know what?

[Joan]

Speaking of Forest Whitaker. Speaking of Forest Whitaker.

[Burt]

I. I recently watched all of Andor.

[Joan]

We have to reset the Forest Whitaker calendar.

[Burt]

We do. It's been zero days since the Forest Whitaker mentioned. I rew. I I. All of andor seasons one and two and then afterwards immediately watched Rogue One. I couldn't tell you who Forest Whitaker is in that movie.

[Joan]

Now, wait a minute. You're going to say something to me. I haven't seen any of these.

[Burt]

Whitaker's in it.

[Joan]

Okay. Thank you.

[Burt]

He is important.

[Joan]

Is he playing somebody in, like, prosthetics or is he just him?

[Burt]

He does not have prosthetics.

[Joan]

Okay, so why can't you tell who he is?

[Doug]

He's like a commander of some sort.

[Burt]

He talks like this. That's you.

[Joan]

That's not the voice. I was.

[Burt]

You come here and you tried to say to me, and I'm like, what. What is. What is he mad about? What is he happy? I don't know what his. What his whole thing is.

[Joan]

Oh, no. Does he play a bad guy?

[Burt]

Couldn't tell you, Joan. Couldn't tell you. I think he's a good guy. He talks to the good guys the most. He never talks to the bad guys.

[Joan]

Yes, yes.

[Burt]

And I've seen Rogue One twice now.

[Joan]

That's not good. That's not good.

[Burt]

Season one twice. Boy, I really don't. There's something about him when he comes on screen with that voice that I just kind of tune out.

[Joan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Burt]

He is important to the story. He is moving things along long. Do not know what he does.

[Palm]

Wow.

[Burt]

Can't remember his name.

[Joan]

All right, well, I mean, I just.

[Burt]

Remember that this is what he sounds like.

[Doug]

He's fighting back tears, probably.

[Joan]

He might be fighting because that's what Doug sounded a lot like when he was. When I was talking to jp.

[Burt]

He does like. I don't agree with this. How did it.

[Doug]

How did this happen? Daddy's little girl.

[Burt]

How old is J.P. this now?

[Joan]

She's now 19.

[Burt]

19. Well, she's an adult.

[Joan]

Almost 20.

[Burt]

I mean, you know, she's legally an adult.

[Joan]

Fine. I know that. But while she lives under my roof.

[Burt]

That's true.

[Joan]

You know what I mean?

[Burt]

Yes, I do.

[Joan]

And so what I found out is it's. It's good and bad. Because what I don't like is that she's. She's stealing, in essence, from people who actually need these pills. But it's not the pills she's after. She's after the capsules, if you can believe it. She's making jewelry out of them.

[Burt]

So she's. She's getting. She's getting capsule medication.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Palm]

She's pouring.

[Joan]

No, no, the cap. Correct. Yes, yes. And I. Yes. Correct me.

[Burt]

What did you think I was going to.

[Joan]

She's pouring out the insides, right? Yeah, yeah. And then putting them back together.

[Burt]

But you started to stop me.

[Joan]

No, no, I was just agreeing with you. I thought I knew where you were headed. I'm sorry I interrupted and you didn't.

[Burt]

Want to hear my voice.

[Palm]

Well, I was like this. She's taking the capsules.

[Burt]

She's pouring out the contents. And we've talked about this.

[Joan]

Earrings of them.

[Burt]

We've talked about this. That commercial for contact, the cold medication for when we were little.

[Joan]

But it was contact without.

[Burt]

And they would open up the pill.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Burt]

And then all the little beads would fall out.

[Joan]

It was Christmas commercial. She said she's never been able to stop thinking about it. When she heard us do that podcast.

[Burt]

YouTube or something.

[Joan]

Yes. She looked it up on YouTube.

[Doug]

Sometimes as a family, we watch old commercials.

[Joan]

It's one of the few things we do as a family. No one will eat at the table here in my kitchen. No one will go on a vacation. And no. No one will ever go with me to, like, the. The downtown Christmas tree lighting every year. But everybody in this house will stop everything for a fun YouTube compilation. We love the newscaster ones.

[Burt]

Absolutely. News bloopers. Oh, Creme de la crest.

[Joan]

He's blind. He's gay.

[Burt]

You hit it like a hockey game.

[Joan]

So this is what happened.

[Burt]

She's making earrings out of the two sides of the Correct.

[Joan]

I said, what in the world are you doing with all of the. The powder, I suppose, you know. And she said. She lifted up a Ziploc bag and it was a gigantic bursting at the seams when I. But wait, are they all mixed together? And she said, well, yes, because I got a couple of. She's gotten more pills than just the one prescription.

[Burt]

So it's a medication suicide? Probably. Literally.

[Joan]

I'm sorry, what?

[Burt]

A medication suicide.

[Joan]

What do you mean? Oh, like suicide is where you mix.

[Burt]

All the sodas together.

[Joan]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Got it, got it. Yes. And this is what didn't help. On top of everything. Is that the boys?

[Burt]

And then we'll get to. What did help?

[Joan]

Nothing. I don't. I have.

[Burt]

Oh, okay.

[Joan]

Can you offer anything? Because my house is a mess right now. Well, I guess the only thing that did help help was a YouTube compilation. We sat down and we wanted a YouTube compilation of that guy who tried to do his own commercial for mobile homes and just fell apart basically after an hour.

[Burt]

Oh, he keeps talking, screaming. Everyone needs to shut up, including me.

[Joan]

That actually correct.

[Doug]

Is that Winnebago man.

[Burt]

Winnebago man.

[Joan]

Winnebago man. That is the only thing that helps because while I heard he's in thunderbolts. Really? Oh, what a get. It's for the post credit scene.

[Burt]

Dick Fury, Winnebago man.

[Joan]

So while this was happening in Jaliopi's room, the boys were filming. And you know why? Because they're making. So again, my boys, my twin boys who are living here. I'm talking about Matt and Cha Cha.

[Burt]

Real smooth.

[Joan]

And Cha Cha real smooth. Matt and Cha Cha Real smooth. Are. They're making this pilot for me, which by the way, they did focus rooms, which we built in our house on one scene. It was the new scene that I did against my will of Mr. Doubtfire, which they have written for me. Gender bending, you know, And I still think it's very. And they are in rewrites and what they decided to do is they're doing a documentary while they're making this. And I'm like, you guys, you can't. First of all, they want to do every. They abandoned one shot. They did abandon one shot. An hour long, one shot episode. Mostly because they wanted to do the documentary. And what they're also doing is a podcast. You know how like basically you watch a television show and then there's also a documentary. And then you can. After you watch the whole thing, you can watch 20 more minutes of those people talking about what you just saw.

[Burt]

That's right.

[Joan]

And so, by the way, I love it the best.

[Burt]

It's the best. When you've watched an episode, you've seen what happens and then you see the actor say, and then my character did this because he thought this.

[Joan]

And why they made a choice. Why they made a choice of a blue coat.

[Burt]

If you're lucky.

[Joan]

If you're lucky. But mostly it's just an Easter egg.

[Burt]

It's them recapping it as if it happened.

[Joan]

Pretty much. Pretty much. So they're doing that too. And I said, boys, you don't even have a show yet. You haven't even sold it yet, and you're already doing your podcast to say, we have it. This is how you package a show now, Mom. And that's what they said. They're like, mom, and especially cha cha cha cha. I just calm. Cha cha for short.

[Burt]

Sure.

[Joan]

So that while. So they decided to get. You know, they're filming everything, and I'm like, that's also not how it worked. Just. Just film the process and. But they came into film when Doug was crying in front of Jalapeno. It was terrible.

[Burt]

That's. I. I don't like that. I don't like hearing that.

[Joan]

I didn't like it either.

[Burt]

How did Jalapey react?

[Joan]

Well, she. Whale's really happy about being filmed.

[Burt]

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[Joan]

Well, because she was like, yeah, let's do. They ended up just basically filling a commercial for her earrings. So I don't know what she's gonna do with it, but I said, I have to come up with some sort of punishment. And you can't be taking away the materials used to make pills. You know, when really someone needs them.

[Burt]

You know, at least put them in separate bags.

[Joan]

At least put them in separate bags, because now I don't know what to do with this very hazardous Ziploc bag.

[Burt]

I would throw it away.

[Joan]

It has disappeared. I don't.

[Burt]

Dear. That's. That's bad news. And, Doug, how did you react to this film coming?

[Doug]

Oh, I mean, I was trying to wipe away tears, but they already got me. And I think they're gonna put it out of context. You know, I'm sure they're going to.

[Joan]

Put it out of context.

[Doug]

They're gonna put it.

[Joan]

If there's anything you can guarantee it will be put out of context.

[Burt]

Are you worried you're gonna become a gif.

[Doug]

Oh. Oh, Fay. Worse than death.

[Joan]

Wait. I feel like we haven't talked about the bivouac at all. And about the. About the eggs.

[Burt]

We truly haven't talked about the bivouac of the eggs.

[Joan]

Of it all, getting egged is the worst. So what is your plan, babe?

[Burt]

Oh, you got to get it on the grass.

[Doug]

Well, I'm just. I'm waiting for them to come back. And, you know, there's all these tennis balls that have been lost over the years in the bivouac, and so I'm armed.

[Burt]

How long has the bivouac been there?

[Doug]

It's been here for years. I can't even remember when it would start. It was just. It's a big bush out in the front.

[Burt]

Sure.

[Doug]

I like to go in there, look for tennis balls, look for lizards and things.

[Burt]

No, hold. Look for lizards.

[Joan]

Oh, Doug looks. We've discussed that. We're on our walks, you know, he runs after them, scurries after them, and then he comes back and he brings me sticks and pockets and. Sorry. Stones to put in my pocket.

[Burt]

Absolutely.

[Doug]

But it's become kind of a pattern to run into the bivouac and I'll stay there for a bit. Sometimes if I'm feeling moody, I'll just be in here. I feel safe.

[Burt]

Some bivouac time.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And so the bivouac is a big bush and a tarp.

[Doug]

Yes.

[Palm]

Okay.

[Burt]

And is a ghillie suit involved in this? At.

[Doug]

No, no, no, no. It's a good idea, though.

[Burt]

Yeah. I mean, why go all the way to Gilly park when you can.

[Joan]

Gilly park, which is, of course, like our nude beach of dignity falls, but everyone can just proudly wear their ghillie suit without shame.

[Burt]

Yeah. If you're. If you're.

[Doug]

It's not a gili suit.

[Burt]

The worst suit you could have. If you stumble upon that park. It is very unnerving.

[Joan]

It is. Because you think you're going crazy because you think every. All the bushes are moving.

[Burt]

Yeah. Somebody gets up to leave and you're like, oh, my God.

[Doug]

But, yeah, I'm. I'm just waiting with my tennis balls and I'll.

[Burt]

So you're gonna fire tennis balls at them?

[Doug]

Absolutely.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Doug]

I got my slingshot.

[Burt]

That's fair. I mean, because it's not lethal unless you have a tennis ball machine that you're using.

[Doug]

No, no, just.

[Burt]

Just your own arm. You're gonna.

[Doug]

My own arm.

[Joan]

And you're going to throw them at the people who come to throw eggs at the house. Is that what you're.

[Doug]

Yeah, well, first I gotta see who it is.

[Joan]

Yeah, well, yeah. Did you look at our ring light? Did in our ring camera? Did you check? Oh, you just went straight for the bivouac plan.

[Burt]

Here's what you have to do. You have to name blame and shame.

[Joan]

No, no, no, no. We don't do that. We don't. Shame on this podcast burnt. You know that you can shame egg people.

[Doug]

Remember the rigid finger of blame. I'm happy to point it at that.

[Joan]

Oh, boy. I'm always talking about the rigid finger of blame.

[Burt]

Finger of blame.

[Joan]

I did forget about it, too. That's on me. That's on us.

[Burt]

Yeah. Now it's pointing at you.

[Joan]

You But I'm going to point the finger at you now, Bart, and ask you how things are going with you, because we haven't caught up with you.

[Burt]

Everything's okay.

[Joan]

You were celebrating the invention of the pill last.

[Burt]

That's right. We had our big. That was exhausting.

[Joan]

You were exhausted. Because I, like you, literally couldn't even talk.

[Palm]

I was very strange.

[Joan]

That episode was weird, by the way.

[Burt]

I know, and I apologize to the listeners.

[Joan]

Like, you got dark.

[Burt]

I know. I wasn't myself and.

[Joan]

And your eyes were closed most of the entire hour.

[Burt]

I. I know. I just couldn't keep them open. And I had to make the face of the strawman that we lived on.

[Joan]

So it's all over. It's all over.

[Burt]

It's all over.

[Joan]

Well, how did it go?

[Burt]

It went great. People really raved about it. We got a good review in the paper.

[Doug]

I saw that.

[Joan]

Mitch McNutt reviewed it.

[Burt]

Mitch McNutt reviewed it and said, of all the things I've hated seeing, I hated this one the least. Which from him is a rage.

[Joan]

High praise. It really is.

[Burt]

Also, I don't know why he's reviewing.

[Joan]

Why is he reviewing it? It's not a theater event. Oh, God, my critic. Theater nemesis.

[Burt]

I hate him.

[Joan]

What a piece of shit. Nothing gets burnt going more than Mitch McNutt.

[Burt]

He's just the idea of him. He disgusts me.

[Joan]

Yeah. His stupid voice on those turtlenecks. Okay, so people loved it. And you. What was the recovery period for you? What was your. What was your highlight? Let's do highlight.

[Burt]

Honestly, when it was. When it was all completed, I got a. A second win like you wouldn't believe.

[Joan]

Really?

[Burt]

As soon as I put the finishing touches, the last eyelashes on the strawman's.

[Joan]

Face, the gigantic strawman that you. Then everyone burned. Right?

[Burt]

That's right.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Burt]

Which seems like a waste, but I stood. I stood back and I looked at it, and then I just felt a euphoria.

[Joan]

Wow.

[Burt]

And not unlike the TV show.

[Joan]

Really? Yes. I'm gonna need you to. I'm gonna need you to elaborate.

[Burt]

Well, I felt like I had glitter on my face. I felt like I'd done a bunch.

[Joan]

Of drugs under the worst overhead lighting possible?

[Burt]

Yes. I felt like I was very will depressing.

[Joan]

And did you ride your bike around just looking upwards at the heavens and.

[Burt]

Just like, this is what life is all about. It's about blackmailing your friend's dad and riding your bike around town.

[Joan]

That's all it's about. That's what being young is.

[Burt]

It's about putting on a play.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Burt]

Based on the lives that has a.

[Joan]

Shocking amount of crew support.

[Burt]

Absolutely.

[Joan]

When did they rehearse that?

[Burt]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the teachers. Don't question it for a second.

[Joan]

I haven't even seen a teacher in that single in an entire episode. Episode.

[Burt]

Somehow you keep a tight lid on it so that the people are surprised when they see the show and say, this is about us.

[Joan]

Well, that's great. I think that's wonderful. I will say that there's still smoke sitting over our city because of that fire. So. And we don't even know when it's going to go away.

[Burt]

The one downside was I did climb into the head of the Wicker man right before they lit on fire. Yeah, we don't want to get in trouble.

[Joan]

No.

[Burt]

And I did climb into it before they littered on fire. Why?

[Joan]

Why would you do that?

[Burt]

I just, I just.

[Joan]

Because you were trying to sleep. This is when you were still in your bad state.

[Burt]

No, this was the state of euphoria.

[Joan]

What?

[Burt]

And I said, I need to be in there and I need to see it. I need to see the city. I need to see the flames.

[Joan]

This is disturbing.

[Burt]

And then, you know who got me out of there was Gabby.

[Joan]

Well, of course, because she's a smoke jumper.

[Burt]

She jumped from a helicopter onto the head.

[Joan]

Wow.

[Burt]

Climbed in there, like tore the. The straw apart.

[Joan]

Oh, that's amazing.

[Burt]

And she came in there and said, burnt. What are we going to do with you? Then she scooped me up. She's very strong.

[Joan]

Yes, she is.

[Burt]

And she picked me up. I just let my body go limp and she, she lifted me out of there and then we perished.

[Joan]

Just true lifestyle. Lifted you back up with the helicopter straw man.

[Burt]

Was the limo a little bit of an accent? She said, what are we going to do with you? And then we, we parachuted.

[Joan]

Choppa.

[Burt]

I tried to, but I could. It was too weak. And then we parachuted out of there and you know, wait, she had a helicopter?

[Joan]

So then why did you Helicopter stick around. That's what I meant by true love.

[Burt]

Because those things are very expensive to rent.

[Joan]

And I thought maybe she had a buddy that like, you know, she said, just be a smoke jumper.

[Burt]

She said. She tried to bargain with the guy and then she eventually just said, just get me there and I'll take care of the rest of it.

[Palm]

Wow.

[Joan]

I mean, I have a lot more follow up questions, but we might not have time. But you guys have a very interesting relationship. If she can just do something like that. And the, and the response is just, what am I going to do with you? Like, it's an everyday occurrence.

[Burt]

We.

[Joan]

To rescue you from the maw of a burning straw man.

[Burt]

Yeah, I. I guess we just have a. We just kind of really understand each other.

[Joan]

That's. That. Hey, that's absolutely true.

[Burt]

She's a very chill person, as you know. She is.

[Joan]

Although the last time we hung out, she really harped on me and Doug getting therapy, and I didn't really appreciate it. She kind of really dug in on it.

[Burt]

I will get why, from your perspective, you didn't appreciate that.

[Joan]

Okay, thank you.

[Burt]

That's all I'll say.

[Joan]

I don't like that.

[Burt]

Doug. How long have we been recording?

[Joan]

He's got to get out of the bushes. Give him a second.

[Burt]

That's true.

[Doug]

You're gonna give away my position.

[Joan]

Oh, my gosh. It's broad daylight. No one's gonna come do it right now.

[Burt]

Babe, I think people just look for the top.

[Joan]

Exactly. Gonna call the cops on us. That's what's gonna happen. Oh, 24.

[Doug]

24.

[Joan]

All right. I think that's the perfect time to take a break.

[Burt]

Yes, we should take a break. And when we return, we'll have a guest right here on the neighborhood. Listen, Hi, it's Paul, and I want to tell you about Huel. What's Huell? Well, I'll tell you what. A little backstory that you star in. If you're constantly on the move or just tired of skipping meals, Huel has you covered. They are our sponsor, and they are spelled H U E L. And their black edition, Ready to Drink, is a total game changer. It is a complete meal in one bottle with 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals, high fiber, low sugar, so you feel full, focused, and ready for your day. Hey, no prep, no cleanup. Just grab and go. Huel's already sold over 500 million meals around the world. And now it's your turn, if you're on planet Earth, to try it. New customers get 15% off, plus a free [e-mail] when you use our code TNL. Don't miss out. Try it today. Look, I've done Huel so many times, I don't know if they want that sort of wording. Huel is great.

[Joan]

Great.

[Burt]

I'm always running around like a maniac, like a chicken maniac with no head on. And a lot of times I will forget to eat a lunch. And that dip in the middle of the day is absolute death. Not a problem anymore, thanks to Huell, because I can grab one of those, I can drink it in the car, safely at stoplights, and then I'm set. I don't feel hungry. I feel full. I feel energized. I and I'm ready to go for the rest of my miserable day. Thank you, Huel. Okay, here's what I want you to do. Remember that Huel tastes very good. They have a lot of good flavors. I enjoy all of them. They're delicious. It's incredibly affordable. High protein meals, less than $5. It's a budget friendly option that I'm genuinely excited to tell you about. And it's a perfectly balanced meal and it saves you time. It's designed by experts to provide all the nutrients your body needs from a meal. Huel takes the guesswork and time out of healthy eating. No prep, no cooking, no problem. So do what I said. Please start saving time and money without compromising your nutrition today with this exclusive offer for new customers of 15% plus a free gift using our exclusive code tnluel.com that's 15% plus a free gift for new customers using the code TNL. Please see our description for the terms and conditions. Skip the stress, not the nutrition. Try Huel today for complete nutrition. Bottled.

[Joan]

Hi, this is Maria. I have a Marvel Carnage red ceramic mug. $10. Like new. See my listings for Mickey and Iron man mugs also $10. Yeah, my husband went on a guy's trip to Orlando and he came home with this thing. I said, abso not. And I told him, I gave him an ultimatum. I said, me or the mug. Well, he left. He left without me or the mug, which wasn't one of the options. But you know what? I still want it. God, please come get it.

[Burt]

And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, and Joan, we have a guest with us as we do every week. We search the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods. And we look for interesting people in our neighborhood to talk to, maybe amplify that message, maybe ask some follow up questions for confusing posts. It's just that simple. And if you see a post that maybe we've forgotten or overlooked, why don't you screenshot it and send it to [e-mail]. and this came from a listener named Matt Moore. Thank you, Matt, for the submission. And this is in the in search of section. And someone named Pam writes, I know this might be controversial. And then a fun little emoji of like the, the. I think it's like the, the blushing one, like smiling and blushing.

[Joan]

Oh, let's see.

[Burt]

Can I see it with the little rosy cheeks?

[Doug]

Is that where they have rosacea?

[Joan]

It's not rosacea, babe. It's.

[Burt]

You know, I never thought of it that way, Doug. You might be right.

[Joan]

To be honest, I never zoomed in enough to see this.

[Burt]

They have rosacea and they're saying, I'm fine.

[Joan]

Oh, boy.

[Burt]

I'm not ashamed.

[Joan]

I think we're reading way too much into that emotion.

[Burt]

Pam goes on to say, but recently a friend served me pimento cheese dip from a local store slash deli and could not remember where it came from. Where is the best pre made pimento cheese to serve with crackers? It had shreds of cheese in it. Not smooth tia. Exclamation mark. That, of course stands for as far as I know. Thanks in advance. Ah, here to tell us more about this intriguing post is Pam. Pam, welcome to the neighborhood. Listen.

[Palm]

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Well, it's actually palm.

[Joan]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Palm]

It is?

[Burt]

Okay.

[Palm]

It was Pam. I'm non binary. And okay, this might be controversial, but I couldn't figure out how to legally change my name, so I just changed the way people say it.

[Burt]

That makes sense.

[Joan]

Well, having not done it, go ahead, burn.

[Burt]

Yeah, well, I was going to ask, you know, you have the little. The little marks that you put over vowels to tell you if they're long or short vowels.

[Palm]

Oh, yeah.

[Burt]

So palm, would that be. Well, you could just basically would be like the line. That's.

[Joan]

Yeah. Well, all I'm thinking of now is that pomegranate drink. Pomegranate, mom, you know that's pom, right? Oh, yes. This is P A M. That is pom.

[Palm]

Like pomegranate.

[Joan]

But why could you change it to pom?

[Palm]

Well, I would change it to something else if I could figure it out.

[Joan]

You had a hard time. Okay, yes, that is my next question. Why they couldn't figure out how to change it. So why. Why is it so hard? I actually never tried.

[Palm]

Well, no one will tell me what store to go to.

[Joan]

You mean to change your name?

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Joan]

Oh, I'm not sure that it's a store you would go to. I would assume you go downtown.

[Burt]

Are you asking people, what store do I go to to change my. My name? Well, yeah, okay, that might be the problem.

[Joan]

Yeah, I think that's the problem. I think definitely you want to go to a store for. Wow, that's hard to say. The pimento cheese.

[Palm]

Okay. And do you know which store? Oh, well, it had shreds in it.

[Joan]

Oh, shreds of what?

[Palm]

It had actual shred. It wasn't smooth.

[Joan]

Oh, right. It wasn't smooth. You were very clear about that.

[Palm]

It was not.

[Joan]

And that's how you prefer your pimento dip? With shred?

[Palm]

Well, this is the first time I ever tried it. Oh, it knocked my socks off. Yeah, my friend Didine brought it. She could not remember.

[Joan]

I love the dean.

[Palm]

Yeah, well, you know the Dean.

[Joan]

Well, I just love the name. And I feel like I would love to deen.

[Burt]

The dean couldn't narrow down any supermarket or deli or.

[Joan]

There was no label of any kind that was on it. That would maybe sort of.

[Palm]

No, it was. It was just in a little plastic tub. Tub, yeah, exactly. You're familiar.

[Joan]

That voice was my husband. He's outside recording. That was Doug.

[Burt]

Thank you, Doug. I was searching for the word.

[Joan]

So this wasn't, like, from Trader Joe. Of course, we don't have different Trader Joe's. We do have Trader Joe, and they do have, like, you know, the silly Trader Giottos or Tradeo Mike's or whatever, you know, specific country.

[Burt]

They have a pimento cheese called hold the Pimento. And it's just olives. It's just.

[Joan]

Right.

[Palm]

And that is an interesting point you bring up, because there were no olives in this.

[Burt]

Okay, good to know.

[Joan]

Okay, that will help us narrow it down. Not even chunks of olives. It was just, like, a flavor.

[Palm]

And I don't know what's usually in a pimento spread, but this one was really unique and great.

[Joan]

Oh, okay.

[Palm]

It had chunks of shredded chees. Actual chunks.

[Burt]

Not smooth.

[Palm]

Not smooth. And. And did I mention the cheese? And then. Yes. And then the pimentos, which normally you're used to inside of an olive. Definitely no olive in sight.

[Joan]

No olive. And. Sorry.

[Palm]

Visually or flavor?

[Joan]

I'm trying to wrap my head around this. This dip. Yes. Pimento or no to pimento being in there?

[Burt]

Yes, pimento.

[Joan]

Pimento.

[Burt]

But no olives.

[Palm]

But no olives.

[Joan]

Whole pimentos or shredded?

[Palm]

No, the cheese was shredded. The pimentos are whole, I think.

[Burt]

Do you know what pimento cheese is?

[Doug]

The more you guys are saying pimentos, the more I'm. I'm foggy now.

[Joan]

Well, now I am foggy. What are you talking about? Get out from that bush. It's hot out there. You're in a greenhouse.

[Burt]

There is a heat advisory.

[Joan]

Suffocating yourself. I'm sorry. Maybe I didn't. I'm thinking of the little red pimento. Like, I'm thinking of a green Onion, olive with a little red thing stuffed in it. Right, right.

[Burt]

So why take that red thing out?

[Joan]

Yeah, take that thing out now.

[Burt]

Put it in a bunch of shredded cheese and mayo.

[Joan]

I'm talking about just wanting to make sure that they may not chopped up.

[Palm]

Is that mayo?

[Burt]

I think so.

[Palm]

Are you sure?

[Burt]

Is that always looking at me with an expression?

[Joan]

I cannot divine the real. Like, would that be good or bad?

[Palm]

That's a huge tip.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

That's a huge tip.

[Joan]

It's a clue.

[Burt]

Should I look up what's in fermentation?

[Joan]

I think you should. I think it's best. Now, was this. What? What? What was this? Was this a party? Was this brought to your house? Did you go to.

[Burt]

Was this a one on one with the.

[Joan]

Yeah. Or was this a big like potluck situation?

[Palm]

No, it was. It was like a intimate. We didine wanted to teach a group of us how to play magic. The gathering.

[Joan]

Oh, okay.

[Palm]

Yeah. So there were four of us and four of us.

[Joan]

Can you say who else was with you?

[Palm]

Oh, who else was with us?

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Palm]

Yes, it was. Well, I was one of them.

[Joan]

Right. There's two other people.

[Palm]

Tom.

[Joan]

Tom.

[Palm]

Curly.

[Joan]

Okay, what's Curly's deal?

[Palm]

Well, we're the four non binary people in town.

[Joan]

Oh, are you sure only four of you? Wow. I thought we had a little more diversity in that area.

[Burt]

You remember when we did that census.

[Joan]

Everyone had to gather in town.

[Burt]

It was in person and people just raised their hands.

[Joan]

It felt like a Hunger Games and then a bunch Hunger Games. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I didn't care for it.

[Burt]

It was sinister. It was like, what's going to happen now?

[Joan]

Sinister. Why are we making people raise their hands?

[Burt]

They got to the. They four people raised their hands and then they just packed up and went home. And that was it. Well, I was like, oh, sorry.

[Joan]

I certainly hope you're not feeling isolated in this community.

[Palm]

No, we found each other.

[Burt]

Okay. So Curly, the dean. Curly.

[Palm]

But I mean Beanie.

[Burt]

Beanie.

[Joan]

But I would like to know about Curly and Beanie. Well, I'd like to know about all three of them and what they do. How are you all friends?

[Burt]

Right Palm. Of course we'd like to know all about you as well.

[Joan]

Yes, that's true. Of course we do.

[Palm]

Well, we're all friends from that town hall census meeting. We raised our hands. We actually didn't go home, but we did walk away and say, hey, I think we've got something in common.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

And you know, this might be Controversial. Some people think you shouldn't just be friends based on being non binary, but honestly, it's. It is a bonding factor.

[Joan]

Is it controversial? I just feel like that's sort of. Who's bothering to call that controversial?

[Burt]

Palm did smile, and there was a little color in their cheeks.

[Joan]

Oh.

[Palm]

Oh, yeah.

[Joan]

Oh, like that. Oh, you think? Because that's the emoji with the word controversial.

[Palm]

Am I using that word wrong? Sometimes I think maybe.

[Burt]

I don't know, that's what the blushing is about.

[Joan]

I can't answer that since I don't know what pimento loaf is. Not loaf. Not loaf. Dip. Is there a loaf dip, please? There is a pimento up, Doug.

[Doug]

I'll l it up.

[Joan]

He'll do what?

[Burt]

I'll look it up.

[Palm]

I'll do it up bush.

[Joan]

Yeah, it's. It's too much. Too much.

[Palm]

Okay, great. Yeah, I.

[Doug]

Let's see here. Extra sharp cheddar cheese.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Doug]

Shreds of it, freshly grated.

[Joan]

Yeah, that comes.

[Doug]

Cream cheese.

[Palm]

Cream cheese.

[Joan]

Cream cheese twist.

[Burt]

That's what it is.

[Doug]

Not pimento. Pepper. Peppers.

[Joan]

Pimento peppers.

[Doug]

Mayonnaise.

[Joan]

There is mayonnaise. Good job.

[Doug]

Duke's is traditional, but I also like Sir Kensington's.

[Burt]

Sir Kensington.

[Joan]

I like Sir Kensington's, too. Listen, let me say it is what. It's more expensive. This mayonnaise is up its own ass for sure. But it is so good. There is such a specific, nice taste to it. But it's all the sort of, like, hoity toity, you know, natural food stores.

[Doug]

Joan always rolls her eyes at Sir Kensington when she buys it.

[Burt]

Oh, it's.

[Joan]

I roll my eyes while I love it. And I'm also rolling my ass.

[Burt]

My favorite mayo is the egg yolk kid. Then the cowboy mascot on the label.

[Palm]

Yes, just for the mascot, not the flavor.

[Burt]

Yeah, it's kind of disgusting. But the mascot is great.

[Joan]

He's riddled with bullet holes, though.

[Burt]

He's for an egg. That's an amazing feat to still be walking around trilling your six guns.

[Doug]

So we also got garlic powder, onion powder.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Doug]

Cayenne pepper, jalapeno pepper. Ribs and seeds removed. I didn't know jalapenos had ribs. Ribs.

[Burt]

You take the ribs out of the.

[Doug]

Jalapeno peppers and black pepper to ribs and salt.

[Palm]

This sounds wrong.

[Joan]

Oh, it doesn't sound like what you tasted.

[Burt]

Really?

[Palm]

Also, I wasn't asking for a recipe. I was asking for a store.

[Burt]

Wow.

[Palm]

Okay.

[Joan]

But, I mean, you could just cut out the store and just make what he just said, because that might Be good, right?

[Palm]

No, I want to buy it. I want to buy this pre made.

[Burt]

Not everything has to be teach a man to fish. You know what I mean?

[Joan]

I understand.

[Burt]

We have stores for a reason.

[Joan]

I understand.

[Palm]

And I didn't. I mean, listen.

[Joan]

We are listening.

[Palm]

It was not smooth. And I. Oh, okay.

[Burt]

That's been established.

[Joan]

Get that part.

[Palm]

And like, I loved that, you know, and it felt like shreds more than grated. Just felt like subtly different. By the way, I didn't detect any ribs.

[Joan]

Yeah, the. The ribs part threw me for a loop.

[Burt]

I don't know that I've ever encountered a smooth pimento cheese.

[Joan]

Yeah, I'm not sure either. But I'm now realizing now that I've heard it, I don't really think I've ever had this dip or cheese.

[Palm]

Yeah, I don't think I never had it before.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

And I'm people, when I ask what store is it from, they keep telling me it sounds like a totally standard pimento cheese spread that I'm describing.

[Joan]

Like, no matter what one you buy, you think people think it's going to taste the same.

[Palm]

Yeah, but that's not true. I agree with you of anything you have. And I've had it. And Dean's. I wish to. I mean, have you been through a Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco?

[Joan]

Sure. Absolutely.

[Palm]

You've got a million chowders and.

[Joan]

Sure do. They sure do.

[Palm]

And you know that there's only one that's maybe going to be like, this is my. This is what I think this should taste like. And this actually hit all those nuts.

[Joan]

Okay. Okay.

[Burt]

Now let me ask you, because Curly and. And Beanie were also there. Do they have any memory of this cheese?

[Palm]

Well, the Dean bought it. So.

[Joan]

Did everyone take it?

[Burt]

I know the Dean bought it, but. But so they. They have not been any help. Curly and. And Beanie.

[Joan]

Did they care as much about it as you did?

[Burt]

Great question, Joe.

[Joan]

Thank you.

[Palm]

I was a bigger fan of the pimento cheese. I just thought it was the perfect pairing. Even more so.

[Joan]

Oh, yeah? What was the pairing? What crackers did you eat it with?

[Palm]

Oh, have you. Okay. Have you had the. Better than buckwheat.

[Joan]

Oh, wow.

[Burt]

What?

[Joan]

Boy, that's.

[Burt]

I don't think you've even had buckwheat crackers.

[Palm]

They have this Zaatar I've had. Can't you believe it?

[Joan]

That sounds good.

[Palm]

It's very good.

[Burt]

I'm so sorry. Palm. What's that?

[Doug]

I was gonna say I've had. Can you believe it's not Buckwheat cracker. I've never had better than buckwheat.

[Burt]

We went back to that. That was a close one.

[Joan]

Where did you have it, babe? Because I certainly didn't buy it.

[Doug]

Oh, I eat them in the store.

[Joan]

Oh, I see.

[Palm]

But these ones. These ones. These ones are better than buckwheat, but they are made with buckwheat. It sounds like the ones you had are not buckwheat.

[Joan]

You know what I'm thinking here is he's talking about the samples that he always has. Do you remember the episode?

[Burt]

I hope so. You're talking about samples. Right? Not eating a whole box in the store. Sure hope not, because that's bleep.

[Joan]

Although he has done that before where he circles around. He's gotten into disguise. He's grabbed a kid just to sort of, like, look like he's a different person. To get another. To get another. Another sample.

[Doug]

Sell cracker singles. It's kind of like the hot chip challenge, but this one is like.

[Palm]

How is it like the hot chip challenge?

[Doug]

Because you're just that it's a single. No, just supposed to be. It's so much like Buckwheat, but it's not.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Joan]

Oh, are you talking about. Okay. So, like, I have seen there's are trying to push Pringle singles where it's literally just a flat. The can is literally just as the size of one Pringle and you pop it open. It's just one.

[Burt]

And they say once you pop, that's it.

[Joan]

I don't think it's catching on.

[Palm]

I think what we need is more packaging.

[Joan]

Very wasteful. I agree.

[Burt]

It does seem wasteful. So much packaging. It's bigger than the radio. Regular tube of Pringles.

[Palm]

I will say I do. That is what I do. I am the person who packages the single Pringle.

[Joan]

What?

[Burt]

Really?

[Joan]

It's a coincidence.

[Burt]

So how long have you been doing that?

[Palm]

Well, it hasn't been happening.

[Joan]

It's been that long.

[Palm]

It hasn't been happening.

[Joan]

But were you. Have you been doing R D for a while? You've been, like, working on it. How long have you had a prototype going?

[Palm]

Right. I pitched this.

[Burt]

Wouldn't the prototype be the Pringles can?

[Palm]

No. You would think so, but the Pringles can is too big. I had to take a single Pringle and I had to make a prototype of. Of what it would come.

[Joan]

It is fun to say single Pringle, I have to say. And was this your idea? Did you pitch this?

[Palm]

I dreamt it.

[Joan]

Oh, oh, that's fun.

[Palm]

I had a dream.

[Joan]

Yep.

[Palm]

I had a dream.

[Burt]

Do you program to have these creative dreams?

[Joan]

What? Wait, I missed it. What did they say?

[Palm]

I do program myself to have these creative dreams. Wait, but before this, I. I missed it. I do program myself.

[Burt]

Mom suddenly looked at me with such interest.

[Joan]

Oh, that's what happened.

[Burt]

I was thrown. Like, perked up. Like, I've never seen anyone perk up before.

[Palm]

Well, I'm glad you asked about programming myself. I've done a lot of programming myself and. And deprogramming myself.

[Joan]

Oh, my. Yeah. Why?

[Palm]

Well, a lot of the world tells you you're supposed to be. You gotta undo all that's true, tear it down, take it out, just, you know, come out. And then I thought, well, I've deprogrammed. Now let's get to some programming.

[Joan]

Okay. And do you have. What is your job title? Do you work at a place that you know is, like, it's a food company or.

[Palm]

It's my garage.

[Joan]

Oh, yeah.

[Palm]

It's my garage. The single Pringle.

[Joan]

You've just done this.

[Palm]

Doesn't know.

[Joan]

I see.

[Palm]

It's sort of only happening.

[Joan]

What was their job title?

[Burt]

Okay, and you said, I work in my garage.

[Palm]

Yeah. I think that tells you my job title.

[Burt]

Fair enough.

[Joan]

That's right.

[Palm]

Self employed.

[Joan]

That's right.

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Did you come up with this idea and then sell it to the stores?

[Palm]

Well, they don't know I've put them there.

[Burt]

Wow.

[Joan]

This makes sense that it's spelled P R, E E N G L E S on the Pringles. Single. Single.

[Palm]

Pringle. I also had to spell single that way.

[Joan]

C, C, E, N, C, E, N.

[Palm]

G, L, E.

[Burt]

So you sneak in there and you. You plant them around there.

[Joan]

Well, which is also. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Palm]

It's also part of the issue because I've been begging these places to give me a sample of their pimento cheese bread.

[Joan]

I see. Right. You're probably imagining. I bet you were imagining that, like, that your Pringle would make the perfect pairing for. Did you eat it with a single Pringle? Did you use one of your single Pringles to try out that?

[Palm]

Thank you for asking. Yes, I did.

[Joan]

Great. Well, this makes a lot of sen. Because this is like the veteran buckwheat.

[Palm]

Crackers and one of my single Pringles. And it was. It was a perfect marriage. It was an inspiration. I beep booped my program. I said, we're gonna. We're gonna get there. We're gonna get up there. I have an idea for a single pimento spread. Oh, well, like just enough for the single Pringle.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Joan]

Just a single serving.

[Palm]

But I have to find it.

[Burt]

And ideally, does it cover the surface of the single Pringle?

[Joan]

That was my question.

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Palm]

Yeah, no, for validating my question.

[Joan]

Welcome.

[Palm]

No, that's too much.

[Burt]

Okay, so how much ideally, is it a dollop?

[Palm]

Yeah, I would say precisely a dollop.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Okay. One dollop.

[Palm]

Which probably you could call them dollop dips.

[Joan]

You could call a single Pringle and dollop dips.

[Palm]

Oh, that's, that's a great, that's a great name.

[Joan]

You can take it. That's fine. But here's my question.

[Burt]

I think it's fine.

[Joan]

No, we have no use for it. No use for it whatsoever. But my question is, you're not going.

[Palm]

To come after me?

[Joan]

No, not at all. At all? No, not at all.

[Palm]

Okay.

[Joan]

Cuz I'm not sure it's going to take off.

[Palm]

What? I mean, I'm not making a lot of money from the single Pringles. Are you making any money? Well, I sneak them into the stores. It's been a lot harder to figure out.

[Joan]

Have, has anyone bought them?

[Palm]

The stores don't sell them.

[Joan]

Have you tried to sell them individually to people? Have you sort of done a door to door situation? Yeah, a little stand.

[Palm]

When people come over, I offer them one.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

I've sort of taken the. I hate to say this might be controversial, but the drug dealer approach, like, you know that actually close thing to controversial.

[Burt]

You've said.

[Palm]

Oh, I'm getting closer.

[Burt]

You're getting.

[Palm]

Okay, okay. I'm getting warmer. Okay. Okay, good to know. Okay. Drug dealers are controversial. Okay, well. Okay, wait, let me write that down.

[Doug]

Oh, okay.

[Joan]

They brought a notebook.

[Palm]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. So you know, I'm giving, giving a free sample to my customer, first one free. Hoping that they demand more.

[Doug]

They must just snap. Like if you have a single Pringle, I bet in about 10 minutes you just snap psychologically. Oh, because you just need, you need another.

[Joan]

Well, that you think it takes a.

[Burt]

Full 10 minutes to. For the mind to.

[Doug]

Yeah. To fully implode.

[Palm]

And that's the idea.

[Joan]

And before you know it, you're in a high school play that's all about the people in the audience and you're riding your bike, thinking about life and bribing someone's dad. You're right. This very controversial. Sorry.

[Palm]

And bribing someone.

[Joan]

Blackmailing. Sorry. I knew that was wrong. Anyways, I'm sure bribed someone on that.

[Palm]

Show that was controversial as well.

[Joan]

Well, yeah. I mean, no one knows about it yet in the series, do they? That that all went down.

[Burt]

Oh, I can't remember. I just remember the great vibe of the show.

[Joan]

It just left me feeling so sunny, so positive. Really good about. Super good about having teenagers. Okay, I have a question. I want to, like, go back. Here's the problem. I have a question. I'm not going to have all the information that I want to have in this question, but it's to Doug, and it's because we had this episode, if you remember Burnt, where he was shopping the entire time in our beloved. That local deli. But I can't remember the name of it, which is weird because I live here, because it's like it had as a long title. This might not even be worth it, but it sounds exactly like the kind of deli where you would find. Find this specific. Because it's very.

[Palm]

I wish we could remember and no one can remember.

[Burt]

Extremely specific and long name.

[Joan]

Specifically long name. And we just might have to get back to you on that. Yeah, but there might be a listener screaming the name. Although probably not now.

[Burt]

Palm, how did you get into inventing?

[Joan]

That's a good question.

[Palm]

Oh, that is. That is a really good question. So part of my program is that I, I.

[Burt]

This is your new program.

[Palm]

This is my new programming. I do. I, I use a hypnotherapy app.

[Joan]

Oh, great. Okay. Okay.

[Burt]

Yeah, I never thought to look for one, but I suppose it makes sense that there would be one out.

[Joan]

Oh, sure. It's a lot like, you know, like the, the calm apps where, like, Liam Neeson is talking you to sleep. You know, it's like those. Michael Fassbender is, like, talking to you.

[Burt]

What?

[Joan]

Yeah. These are. This, this is a real thing?

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Joan]

You didn't know this?

[Palm]

No.

[Joan]

Yeah. There's celebrities that will just brought a.

[Burt]

Truckload of money to these guys. Doors.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Palm]

Yeah, I have Michael Kane.

[Joan]

Oh, now that's nice.

[Burt]

Yeah, I feel like he would keep.

[Joan]

Me giving you hypnother.

[Burt]

Do you think you're very tired?

[Joan]

Oh, he's. He's more frail than that now. Burn. He just doesn't have that much energy. Yes, it's much more like that.

[Palm]

Yes, it is much more like that.

[Burt]

I just want to watch the little bird. Yeah, he just does that speech over and over again.

[Joan]

And he says love a lot. He calls him love. Very good.

[Doug]

Say his name.

[Burt]

That's the key.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Palm]

Michael Caine.

[Joan]

Michael K. That's how you get the.

[Palm]

Impression Find yourself somewhere and close your eyes.

[Joan]

And that's how it starts.

[Palm]

Yeah. And that's how it starts.

[Joan]

And how long is the.

[Palm]

How long are you on your breath in and out? Well, I just sort of. I go away.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

So, you know, like, there's this part where he takes you through the relaxation at the top. You're focusing on your breathing and, you know, there's a, like, relaxing flow that goes over your entire body.

[Joan]

It does seem like every time he comes back in, it would take you out of it.

[Palm]

Yeah. Mr. Wayne.

[Joan]

Yeah. Mr. Wayne, would you. Would you. Do you have to. I know sometimes with hypnotherapy people have, like, a place they go to, like a happy place or, like, envision, like someone's in a forest or. Do you have a place where you go to that you envision or is it not like that?

[Palm]

It's a void.

[Joan]

Oh, dear.

[Palm]

Sort of a void.

[Joan]

I mean, that's not scary.

[Palm]

Disappear hours later when I come back.

[Burt]

Is it like the void from the old Mac computers commercials?

[Joan]

I'm not sure I even remember that. Burnt those. Oh, when they were just standing on the white. Yes, yes, yes.

[Palm]

You haven't watched those on YouTube.

[Joan]

Oh, we should do. We should do an Apple commercial compilation. That'd be great.

[Burt]

Are you watching, like, in chronological order of commercials and you haven't gotten to that yet? The early odds.

[Joan]

Yes. We're only on Mikey likes it.

[Doug]

Love that.

[Joan]

So, okay. So you are in that kind of void. Yeah. All I know is I. That's sort of you.

[Palm]

I mean, I think it's a deep, relaxed state of pure place of creativity. I think it's the place maybe we all go when we die. Oh, wow.

[Joan]

Interesting.

[Palm]

I. My cat died.

[Joan]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Palm]

Thank you.

[Joan]

And what was their name?

[Palm]

Their name was. Oh, was Beans.

[Burt]

Beans.

[Palm]

Which is beautiful name.

[Joan]

Beanie and Beans. A sweet pean.

[Burt]

Beans or peas?

[Joan]

I thought it was beans.

[Burt]

I thought it was beans as well.

[Joan]

It's okay if it's peens.

[Palm]

No, it is peas.

[Burt]

Not controversial.

[Joan]

It's not controversial.

[Palm]

A virtual.

[Joan]

I just want to make it clear that totally different Beanie is a person.

[Palm]

PE is a cat.

[Joan]

Peens.

[Palm]

Rip.

[Burt]

Rip.

[Joan]

Sweet pe.

[Palm]

Yeah. Rest in pe. I.

[Joan]

Do you get a single peas? Yes. Oh, no. That made. That made them cry. I'm so sorry.

[Palm]

That.

[Joan]

Oh, no. That's not what caused it.

[Burt]

No.

[Joan]

Oh, what?

[Burt]

Death by Pringle.

[Palm]

Death. I know.

[Joan]

Why? What was the problem? How did it happen? How did it.

[Burt]

Palm is very upset.

[Joan]

I know. I guess I shouldn't it's okay.

[Palm]

Peens choked on the Pringle. They're very jagged, I guess.

[Joan]

Oh, wait, there's chips for a cat.

[Palm]

And it turns out cats aren't supposed to eat chips. It tore her up from inside the whole way down.

[Joan]

Wait, can I just ask, are you using. Where are you. You acquiring the single Pringle? Are you home making it, or are you just grabbing a regular Pringle, or did you make your own? Oh, yeah.

[Burt]

Do you buy a tube of Pringles and then.

[Joan]

Yeah, and then just distribute.

[Burt]

Markup is crazy.

[Palm]

I. I buy the Pringles at Costco, and I do take them out one at a time. One at a time.

[Joan]

So it was a regular Pringle?

[Palm]

Well, I package them for a cat.

[Joan]

That's like eating a broken glass, I guess. A broken glass?

[Palm]

What?

[Joan]

The vet said a single broken glass, they said.

[Palm]

Did she swallow glass? And.

[Joan]

Lord, I didn't realize Pringles were so diabolical in that way.

[Palm]

No, it slashed her.

[Joan]

Oh, it slashed her.

[Palm]

There was multiple stab wounds.

[Joan]

This is traumatic. I'm so sorry you went through this. She was my soulmate. I never.

[Palm]

I never would have done it if. If I didn't. You never would have given her the Pringle?

[Joan]

Of course not.

[Palm]

I just wanted to show my most beloved life partner.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Palm]

This delicious Christmas.

[Burt]

What a drink.

[Joan]

So innocent.

[Burt]

It almost sounds like a curse. To have a soulmate that you will definitely outlive by many, many years.

[Palm]

Well, yes, that's always. But, you know, you really never know.

[Joan]

You never know. You never know.

[Burt]

I mean, but. But, you know, Doug and Joan have a dog, Escrow. I'm sure you can smell him from here. And he's got a. In his mid-60s.

[Joan]

You just move it up. It was 30s a couple weeks ago. Then it was 50s. Now it's 60s. It's getting ridiculous. Now, Bert, he is not in his 60s. I know he's not, but. But he and Michael Kane are very similar. He is taking on a lot of. He really does, sort of. He moves a lot slower. He's starting to look like an old English gentleman. He really is.

[Palm]

Could I borrow him?

[Joan]

I mean, you could try, but I don't know that he could make the journey. I don't know. He doesn't like being in cars. He doesn't go on walks anymore. We established he has three big legs plus a pig tail somehow. Yeah, it's really hard. He mostly just rests now.

[Palm]

Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to go to him and meet him sometime.

[Joan]

Oh, absolutely. Can. He's just around the corner. So I'm really sorry about that.

[Palm]

Yeah. Peens is really sad. And I know you. You made it sound like, oh, I just buy Pringles. But, like, that's not the point.

[Joan]

I didn't mean to make it sound like anything. I'm sorry.

[Burt]

I don't think anyone made it sound like that.

[Palm]

Because my invention is all about each Pringle being so fresh on its own.

[Joan]

Of course, when you talk about the invention, what invention is it? You're exactly saying is that is the can. The candy event. I know it's not the Pringle.

[Palm]

Well, you know, okay, in a regular. In a regular Pringle tin, some of us don't like to eat a ton of Pringles at a time. So you're open it, you eat a couple Pringles and then all. I don't know if you know this about air, but it does bad things to your food. So, you know, air, the more it's going stale, it's going bad by the time you get to the bottom.

[Joan]

Thank you.

[Burt]

That's why the. The last few Pringles are always disgusting.

[Joan]

That's right. But every Pringle is outstanding. Yeah.

[Palm]

A fresh one. Outstanding. A fresh one.

[Joan]

Outstanding. Fresh one. We got it in under the wire.

[Palm]

I think that's my commercial. Have you seen it?

[Joan]

No.

[Palm]

Oh, I put it up myself on.

[Joan]

Oh, is it on YouTube?

[Palm]

It's on YouTube.

[Joan]

It take us forever to get to it.

[Palm]

I don't have followers. Zero.

[Joan]

Wait, you don't have one at home?

[Palm]

I have zero followers. I used my NB crew and they.

[Burt]

Said they wouldn't follow.

[Joan]

That doesn't seem right.

[Palm]

They felt weird about it.

[Burt]

Well, what's the name of the channel if you'd like to broadcast?

[Palm]

Absolutely, I would love to. It's. It's Single Pringles for peens.

[Joan]

So it's single Pringles. U H4. The number four Peens.

[Burt]

Single Pringles. Where's the H?

[Palm]

Oh, yeah.

[Burt]

Uh, or Pe. Single Pringles. And is it.

[Palm]

They said the name was confusing and too long.

[Burt]

Oh, I. I've seen long.

[Palm]

It sounded like I sounded it out. They said they said it sounded like I sounded it out and then just committed to it. They were like, you know, you can change it.

[Joan]

Oh, it's so hard to get a new address. And, you know, you have to do that with all the passwords nowadays. You're basically just writing gibberish.

[Burt]

Microsoft word. Why. Why won't you remember me?

[Joan]

I just put on the. I just put on the. The microphone and I just scream gibberish and it accepts it. Finally. That's the only way to get an accepted password that you somehow haven't already used. And there's no smug about it.

[Burt]

You know what?

[Palm]

I don't.

[Joan]

It's already in you.

[Palm]

It's the only.

[Burt]

One. They say you can't use the @ symbol. It's one of my favorites to put in a line of gibberish.

[Joan]

That's fair.

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Burt]

So why can't I use that?

[Joan]

I don't know.

[Burt]

I can use the ampersand, but not the AT symbol.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Palm]

Since when. Since when is.

[Joan]

I don't want you to feel any shame palm about that address. And now we've got it out into the world and people might listen to it. So you've got to put up that. That commercial.

[Burt]

I do want to ask.

[Palm]

It is up.

[Joan]

Oh, it is up. That's right. Zero views.

[Burt]

Is it. Is it single and Pringle standard spelling or is it the double E's?

[Palm]

It's C E, N, C. Yeah.

[Joan]

You didn't. You didn't miss. You didn't catch this. Oh, yeah. It's been C the whole time. C E, N, C, E, N, E, E. Freeze. No, no. C, E, E. Let's really nail this down.

[Burt]

N, G, L, E, P R E.

[Palm]

E, N, G, L, E, U, H. Number four.

[Joan]

Wait. Yeah, number four. Oh, it's S. Okay, good.

[Palm]

And you know, I think you can also now realize that peens is in the name a little bit.

[Joan]

Of course. Is that why you did it?

[Burt]

Wow.

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Joan]

Did you do that after Pringle said?

[Palm]

No.

[Joan]

Oh, okay. But now it has a double meaning. But now, yes, A special hidden meaning.

[Burt]

Is there any disclaimer like do not feed to cats?

[Joan]

There probably should be.

[Palm]

I know because I. Oh, no. The title says four peens like it's for your cat.

[Joan]

No. Well, I don't think I will say they're not going to intuit that Peens is a cat.

[Burt]

If anything, this one might be controversial.

[Doug]

Wait, getting there.

[Palm]

Is this controversial? The Peens might not be a cat. You think someone will see four Peens and not know that it's my cat?

[Joan]

I do. I'm not sure that that's controversial, but it's definitely not going to be clear. Is.

[Burt]

Is your cat famous in any way?

[Palm]

No.

[Burt]

Yeah. Then, yeah, they're not going to.

[Joan]

No, I don't think they're going to.

[Burt]

They're not going to make that association.

[Palm]

Oh, no, I think what they're Going.

[Joan]

To say is there was probably so many single pingles flower, four addresses that began that way and then had something already so close to peens that they'll just assume you had to switch it. You know, that's what happens.

[Burt]

I think they're gonna think it's for penises.

[Joan]

That is also true, though Many people.

[Burt]

That's the number.

[Joan]

Why? That's honestly why I'm surprised.

[Palm]

Why would they think that?

[Joan]

Well, because that's kind of what people call penis sometimes. A peen.

[Burt]

It's a little nick.

[Palm]

Who calls it that?

[Joan]

Well, my twins, for one.

[Palm]

Doug, are you telling me I named my cat after penises?

[Joan]

Oh, did you not even. You never knew that that was a. Like something that people call.

[Burt]

You named your cat after penises? Yes.

[Joan]

Burnt is giving it to inadvertently.

[Palm]

I did it because I didn't know.

[Joan]

You didn't know? It's all.

[Palm]

Everyone I told of course my cat's name to thought I.

[Joan]

They probably made the connection. Yeah.

[Burt]

I mean I. I thought it.

[Joan]

I thought it immediately.

[Palm]

I think everyone thinks I'm some sicko.

[Joan]

Well, you know what's interesting? No, what's interesting is the fact that peens is on there. I'm surprised it didn't get at least one view.

[Burt]

That's true. There's got to be people searching forpeens on YouTube.

[Palm]

You think people search for a single peen number? Four peens. Just look. Looking for four penises.

[Burt]

Someone might be looking for.

[Joan]

He's putting the word sicko with this. And again, that's not. It's not. You're not a sicko.

[Burt]

There's nothing wrong with looking for peens.

[Joan]

Nothing wrong with looking for peens.

[Palm]

I just feel so bad. I named my beautiful cat after penises inadvertently. And then I murdered her with my.

[Joan]

I think that you are indicting yourself when you don't need to. That was an accident. It was.

[Burt]

At most, it was catchphrase.

[Joan]

Voluntary cat's letter. Oh. I couldn't get it out fast enough. I threw it involuntary.

[Burt]

It's better.

[Joan]

Thank you.

[Burt]

I honestly.

[Doug]

Better.

[Joan]

We did it together.

[Burt]

It's more clear.

[Joan]

It was a collab. Okay. Sorry.

[Burt]

This is really hitting you hard. I know. It's a lot. It's a lot.

[Joan]

I know that. The one.

[Palm]

The grief period too.

[Joan]

I'm so sorry. The one thing we could do. It almost feels like. Do you think it almost feels like it's. If you could just find the store, it would be healing. It would maybe close this chapter.

[Palm]

I would love it.

[Joan]

Yeah, I would love to just you have it.

[Doug]

I remembered.

[Joan]

Oh, you remembered. You remembered the store.

[Palm]

Of course.

[Joan]

I think this is it.

[Doug]

Palm DF Delicacies and Dramamin.

[Joan]

That's right. DF Delicacies and Drama mean. Yes. They sell every.

[Palm]

And not drama mean. Drama mean. Drama. Are you involved? I know you're.

[Joan]

I petitioned to have it. To have it. Drama italicized with a little. A little comedy and tragedy. Any masks?

[Doug]

And they're.

[Palm]

And they wearing hats. And the masks. Are wearing hats.

[Joan]

Yes, masks are wearing hats.

[Doug]

And it's very overpriced, and they're proud of that.

[Joan]

And they have so many dips. They have an entire. They have a room of dips. You walk into it, it's like a beer room, but it's a dip room. Yes.

[Palm]

Do they let you.

[Burt]

They call it the Deporium.

[Palm]

They call it the Deporium.

[Joan]

They have a bouncer.

[Palm]

There's a bouncer.

[Doug]

Yeah. It's easy to get thrown out.

[Burt]

I go in there sometimes, they say, no, too many guys in here already.

[Palm]

Oh, it's. Yeah, just like a club. They don't want anyone. Oh, wow.

[Joan]

They. They get so close to the cheese, and they start just, you know, talking to it, and it's very creepy. That is your. I think that's your answer.

[Palm]

Do they let you try.

[Joan]

Thank you, babe. That was so good. Do we think what.

[Palm]

Do they let you try the dips of the.

[Joan]

There are no dip samples, but I think what you just need to look at is just what the label is going to be. They're doing that thing with their eyes again.

[Burt]

I mean, the. The. It's not like pimento cheese is prohibitively expensive.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Burt]

You could.

[Joan]

I tell you.

[Palm]

You ask me what I do for a living, right?

[Joan]

Oh, yes. And. And. And your garage work.

[Burt]

You could at least ask Dean. Is this where you got the pimento cheese?

[Palm]

Okay.

[Joan]

That is a great start. That's a great place to start. You're welcome.

[Palm]

Deen has gotten really upset about how many times I've asked about.

[Joan]

Oh, how many times have you asked.

[Palm]

I'm a little embarrassed to say.

[Joan]

I would say. I would say. You almost disappeared into that void. That look on you. Your face.

[Palm]

Well, every time I come out of the void, the first thing I do is call to Dean and I ask.

[Joan]

About that doesn't seem like a reprogramming at all.

[Palm]

No, it's just programming.

[Burt]

It's not just.

[Joan]

I got it.

[Palm]

Just programming.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

Yeah. I go into the void thinking about pe.

[Joan]

To be clear. To be clear, everybody. And now that you know, let's always make sure we clarify. My cat. It's about your cat.

[Palm]

About my cat.

[Doug]

Cat.

[Burt]

What a statement. I go into the void thinking about P.E.

[Joan]

Thinking about P.E.

[Palm]

I just figure I'm somewhere between worlds during the programming and maybe I'll see peens.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Joan]

Oh, one's always hoping.

[Palm]

And I've never remembered because the programming just doesn't work that way. You know, you're truly gone. But I. I like to think, how.

[Joan]

Does Michael Kane take you out of the. You know, how does it end? What does he say?

[Palm]

Okay, so he doesn't. I think he does try.

[Joan]

Oh, there was he fall asleep in the early times.

[Palm]

But I leave. I just leave. It's me.

[Joan]

I leave. Oh, that's good. You do the leaving. Okay.

[Palm]

I pass out. The first time I did it, I did stay through it. I didn't go away as much. It took a few times for me to like, disappear.

[Joan]

I see.

[Palm]

And those times he's describing things, you know, there's always a, like, oh, it's as if you're in a dream, you know, like that leads. There's like precise wording that leads you right into visualization.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

Things like that. And then he counts you out. Oh, but I don't. I'm gone before you're gone. You're already in the voice in the visualization. I disappear.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Palm]

And I don't remember if I see peens, but I really hope I did. And I come out of it with. I'm being very relaxed with some ideas.

[Joan]

You know what?

[Palm]

Harass my friend Didine.

[Joan]

Okay, but you don't have to do it this time. When you're gonna pick up the phone, I want you to to ask Didine. Is it at. Sorry, babe. Can you give us the title again?

[Doug]

DF Delicacies and drama mean.

[Joan]

DF Delicacies and drama mean.

[Palm]

And drama mean.

[Joan]

Drama and drama mean.

[Palm]

With the comedy.

[Joan]

With the comedy.

[Palm]

Tragedy. Tragedy.

[Joan]

And you know what? And then if you get it and then I think that maybe if you can find that and maybe prove it's the perfect pairing for your single Pringles, then just justice for peens. Make sure you put a warning on the label. You know that? Justice for peens.

[Palm]

Hashtag justice for peens. And people will.

[Joan]

That'll take off.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Palm]

Justice for peens. I hope you know what that means.

[Joan]

Oh, and a little rhyme.

[Palm]

What about that?

[Joan]

Well, it's long.

[Palm]

The store name is very long. I was.

[Burt]

Store name is very long.

[Joan]

I did. That's the one thing I remembered that it was long.

[Palm]

A Single Pringle. A dollop a dip.

[Joan]

A dollop, a dip. And justice for beans.

[Doug]

Don't forget some Dramamine, too. It's delicious there.

[Joan]

Delicious.

[Palm]

Oh, it's just.

[Doug]

Don't drive after.

[Joan]

Yeah, Actually, they have a Dramamine dip.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Palm]

Oh, it's a Dramamine dip.

[Joan]

I mean, it comes in all forms.

[Palm]

And it does deal with motion sickness and it's a little dramatic.

[Joan]

And it's delicious.

[Burt]

And it's delicious.

[Palm]

Okay.

[Burt]

All right.

[Joan]

We wish you the best of luck, Pom.

[Palm]

Oh, thank you.

[Burt]

I hope that this is the story. I bet that it is.

[Joan]

I know. You know, I love it when we have what feels like a solution in an episode. Absolutely.

[Palm]

Tia. I just want to say, Tia, does.

[Burt]

That mean thanks in advance?

[Joan]

Oh, no.

[Burt]

What does it mean?

[Joan]

Mean?

[Palm]

I'm sorry, Is that what it means to people? Thanks in advance?

[Joan]

Yeah. What does it mean to you? Oh.

[Palm]

Oh, no, it means turkeys and apples.

[Burt]

Turkeys and apples?

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And what does that mean?

[Palm]

Oh, have you ever had a turkey in an apple? Oh, my God. It's one of the most delicious. Yes, it's one of the most delicious. It is.

[Joan]

My first question is how, like a.

[Doug]

Protein style turkey sandwich.

[Palm]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Animal style.

[Palm]

Yeah, yeah. People are familiar with, like collard green wraps, lettuce wraps.

[Burt]

I. I have to point out that you did say a turkey, like a slice of turkey.

[Joan]

Yeah. Okay, that. My question is how. My first question is how.

[Palm]

Turkey and an apple.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Palm]

Well, you gotta get a smaller than average turkey and a bigger than average apple.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Joan]

So a turkey embryo.

[Burt]

Is this called an A Perky?

[Palm]

That's a great name. That is a great name. I'm just gonna call it a turkey and an apple. TIA for short.

[Joan]

And you get Michael.

[Palm]

I signed off Tia to let people know, like, I'm looking for something as delicious as Tia.

[Joan]

And then you can have him do the commercial. Michael Kane. I love. This is Michael Kane. Wa.

[Palm]

Do you know Michael Kane?

[Joan]

Get yourself a. A perky.

[Burt]

Have you ever had a turkey in an apple tea? I.

[Palm]

This is so much.

[Joan]

This is not le. This is.

[Palm]

That's Leo.

[Joan]

Wait, what?

[Burt]

Have you ever had a turkey?

[Joan]

Well. My goodness.

[Burt]

All right. Well.

[Joan]

Well, this has been such a. It's been so nice to me. You are delightful and I really hope. I wish you healing. Okay.

[Palm]

Thank you. And you know, I don't only hang out with non binary people, so I hope we can be friends.

[Joan]

Absolutely.

[Palm]

It's just that it was the crew, you. And of course, I would love to offer you all a single Pringle. And hopefully a dollop of dip and fingers crossed.

[Burt]

And a tia as well. I'm happy to take you up on that offer. And thank you so much, Palm.

[Joan]

Here's.

[Burt]

Thank you, Palm, for visiting the neighborhood. Listen.

[Joan]

Yes, and you just.

[Palm]

And thank you, Fernt.

[Joan]

You got me. That's good.

[Palm]

Sorry.

[Burt]

We'll be back. With the neighbor. Listen. With the neighbor.

[Joan]

Listen.

[Burt]

We're about talking birds. Hey, what's up? This is Elizabeth. I'm offering this for free as a large glass tabletop, period. It's a rectangular glass tabletop. It's 84 inches by 43 inches by 3/4 inches. Beveled edges, excellent condition, very heavy. It was given to me several years ago, but never used. Why? Because I didn't have anything to put it on. You can't just give somebody a gigantically heavy glass tabletop out of nowhere. Why would I have just the bottom of a table laying around? You gave me half a table. And you gave me the worst half because a glass. A glass tabletop. Is there anything worse on earth? Something you have to constantly worry about. You ever spill coffee on one of those things? Just runs all over the place. At least it's on a coffee table. Bang your shins on that thing. God. Anyway, it was given to me by a relative that I despise and who, thankfully is dead, so it's yours for free. And I know I just talked a big deal about, you know, I don't have a table bottom just lying around, and now I'm expecting you to. But, hey, there's a lot of weirdos out there. There's a lid for every pot, as they say. And maybe there's a heavy glass stupid tabletop for some weirdo who's got just a four legs. I know. I'm not selling this thing. Well, I shouldn't call you weirdos, but honest. Again.

[Palm]

God.

[Burt]

Well, Uncle Doug, I hope you're enjoying the view in hell. Welcome back to the neighborhood.

[Joan]

Listen, I put my microphone down for a minute. I'm sorry. Well, I won't do that again.

[Burt]

That's. That's quite all right.

[Joan]

I. I like to hold it. See, everybody else uses. Just stand.

[Burt]

Yes.

[Joan]

Yeah, I like to hold it because, again, it just makes me feel more like I'm in a cabaret.

[Burt]

Oh, okay.

[Joan]

I just like being in charge, you know, in terms of the microphone.

[Burt]

Oh, you feel.

[Joan]

I like that. I move. And it moves with me.

[Burt]

You're g. I'm.

[Joan]

I'm. I'm.

[Burt]

Agency.

[Joan]

Yes. I'm. I'm. I'm shackled to the microphone if I'm sitting at the stand, but this way I can just move around freely for those who can't see. All I'm doing. All I'm doing is just moving my. My shoulders back and forth, barely.

[Burt]

But you do sometimes when we're recording, you do get up and walk around.

[Joan]

I do like to. Sometimes. Yes, I do. I like. I just like to keep it. I like to keep it moving. I like to keep it fresh, keep it loose.

[Doug]

And I have kind of a Bob Dylan harmonic harmonica thing for my mic.

[Burt]

I call that the night brace.

[Doug]

Oh, yeah. Kind of like this. Braces.

[Joan]

Those are hard to pull off.

[Burt]

Kind of like those braces.

[Joan]

Yes, that's.

[Burt]

That's exactly what I meant. You nailed it.

[Doug]

This is kind of like it.

[Burt]

Well, I hope that palm.

[Joan]

Sweet pomp. What was that, babe? What was that?

[Burt]

What was that?

[Joan]

Was that you trying to launch a tennis ball? Are you in the shrubs?

[Doug]

My arm fell asleep and I had a roll. I had to do a barrel roll.

[Joan]

So what was that sound?

[Burt]

That was the sound of the barrel roll.

[Joan]

Your body sounds like. It was like a sandbag. What are you doing?

[Burt]

Why?

[Joan]

You're just rolling around, rolling down a hill.

[Doug]

Oh, I wanted to show it to you again.

[Joan]

To show it to us.

[Burt]

Well, I guess we look out the window from here. I guess I can sort of wait. I'm waving.

[Joan]

Do you see me? Oh, okay.

[Burt]

Stop rolling around. I did see the shaking of the bushes.

[Doug]

Well, I had to roll out to see you.

[Burt]

All right. Can you see us?

[Doug]

I can see you.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Joan]

Oh, my God.

[Doug]

Don't give away my location.

[Joan]

There's still a lot of dirt in the driveway because he's still doing that parking lot that's only going to have three spaces that he wants to do.

[Burt]

I thought you abandoned the parking lot.

[Joan]

Nope, nope, nope.

[Doug]

I don't abandoned.

[Burt]

I don't. Abandoned.

[Joan]

All right, well, I have a last post.

[Burt]

Yes, we have time for one more post.

[Joan]

This is from Lily.

[Burt]

Lily.

[Joan]

And this says, can anyone give me movie ideas for seniors? At my work, they have movie night every night. But they like classic, good movies. Please share your ideas. Thanks. I think that we got this because people think we're a movie podcast.

[Burt]

Oh, no, that could be true. We're not a movie podcast.

[Joan]

But this kind of. I don't know, it kind of is weird to me that this would have to be a post because, I don't know, you can just look up old movies. I mean, there's. There's Turner Classic Movies. There's no dearth of Ways to find out and access classic movies.

[Burt]

If you have. If you have an idea of these people's age range change.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Burt]

You can say, what are the classic movies of that era?

[Joan]

Yes.

[Burt]

And you will get a list for.

[Joan]

So. But this is weird because, you know, as we approach, I keep getting realizing, oh, every 10 years I'm gonna become the senior. You know, so, like, What. So every 10 years, seniors. To me, I'm thinking, oh, that's my. My grandmother who's gonna want to see, you know, Casablanca. But that's not what the seniors up to.

[Burt]

Those people are.

[Joan]

What are the classic movies for the seniors? Now, let's see if they're, like, in their 70s and 8. Exactly.

[Burt]

The Poseidon Adventure.

[Joan]

Reynolds was there. Carrie Grant.

[Burt]

That's.

[Joan]

That's right.

[Burt]

That's right.

[Joan]

And it's sad to call Cannonball. Well, Cannonball.

[Burt]

That song by the plexis.

[Joan]

See, you combine all the words, I just add letters. Cannonball. Cannonball is a classic in its own way. But to call it a classic because it's old, that's hard to hear. You know what I mean? It's really.

[Burt]

Then it gets into classic rock.

[Joan]

Oh, sure.

[Burt]

Which is just because it's old.

[Joan]

Maroon 5.

[Burt]

Yeah. Exact. Exactly. Jamiro Kwai.

[Joan]

That one song by Got you got. Yeah, got you got. So, I don't know. I mean, if we could give some. So, yeah, I think you're right. Cannonball Run is a great. Or just Cannonball, which was little known pre.

[Burt]

Show them Cannonball Run.

[Joan]

Show them Cannonball Run. They will be happy. The men will be happy to see Sally Field changing the car. And the women will be happy to see Burt Reynolds.

[Burt]

They're gonna love to see Dom DeLuise being slapped.

[Joan]

Everyone's gonna love that.

[Burt]

Yes. You watch the bloopers. These bleeds. These bleeds right here.

[Joan]

That's right. There are a surprising amount of bloopers out there. Oh, we can do a cheap compilation of that.

[Burt]

Of what? Of bloopers?

[Joan]

Yeah, from Cannibal Run. Oh, and there was a Cannibal Run, too.

[Burt]

Cannibal Run took care of that for you. Oh, you mean you could watch them?

[Joan]

Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying.

[Burt]

I thought you meant you would compile them.

[Joan]

Help me. Help me remember, because I always get confused. There was. There was Smokey.

[Burt]

Smokey and the Bandit.

[Joan]

And the Bandit. I was going to say Smokey Joe, but that's a musical.

[Burt]

So a bar in a town that I know.

[Joan]

Oh, it is. Oh, great. A college bar that came first that they are connected. Right. It's the same characters, right?

[Burt]

No. As Cannonball Run.

[Joan]

Sometimes I think of that.

[Burt]

No, no. Smoke in the band. I'm going to say Cannonball Run makes Smokey and the Bandit look like Citizen King.

[Joan]

Now that's controversial.

[Burt]

If you. If you thought Cannonball Run was a little frivolous and you wanted more, a little more.

[Joan]

Which one came first?

[Burt]

Smoking the band.

[Joan]

Okay. I just. For whatever reason. Get those.

[Burt]

There was smoking the Bandit, Smokey and the bandit 2 and then Smokey and the bandit 3. Smokey is the Bandit but Cannonball.

[Joan]

But Smoking the Bandit is the one with the. He has the buddy with the truck and the dog. That's correct. Right? Or is it Cannonball Run? I think it's Cannonball Run.

[Burt]

I think Cannonball Run has a dog.

[Joan]

Again, this is not a movie podcast. I'm really sorry for this.

[Burt]

I think.

[Joan]

Ah, now you know the guy in the semi with the duck with the dog.

[Burt]

Jerry Reed.

[Joan]

Oh, there you go. Good job.

[Burt]

Is his friend.

[Joan]

Okay, Doug, you're.

[Burt]

You're. Can you see the.

[Joan]

Can you just go outside and someone shut the door? So you might. You're going to have eggs.

[Doug]

Do they.

[Joan]

No, they don't have eggs. They're deliver.

[Burt]

Go find out.

[Joan]

Wouldn't that be terrible if they dressed up as that's. And then we ended up telling him that he could trust that person and then he got egged.

[Burt]

I do feel.

[Joan]

Oh, good. It looks like. It looks like. I can see in the camera. It looks like it was food, not eggs.

[Burt]

Well, eggs are food.

[Doug]

Covered in eggs.

[Joan]

Thanks, babe.

[Burt]

Covered in eggs.

[Joan]

Doesn't it look like you're covered in eggs?

[Burt]

Look at him out there. Doug is covered with eggs.

[Joan]

Covered eggs.

[Doug]

The second I turn my back to the.

[Joan]

Oh, no.

[Burt]

We're able to find Fire off any tennis ball.

[Joan]

I'm so sorry. I'm annihilated.

[Burt]

All right.

[Joan]

So much more to say anyways.

[Burt]

So much more to say about Cannibal Run.

[Joan]

A bonus room episode.

[Burt]

Yeah, exactly.

[Joan]

Speaking of which.

[Burt]

Speaking of which, if you would like to hear ad free episodes and access. Get access to our bonus room episodes then go to cbb world.com and sign up on the Maximus tier and you'll get all that stuff. We still don't know what CBB stands for. I don't know if they stayed on the website.

[Joan]

That's so weird.

[Burt]

It' for me.

[Joan]

That's very strange.

[Burt]

We'll. And if you'd like to follow us on the socials. We're the neighborhood. Listen on Instagram and you can see the. I always forget to tell people this, but you can see the actual posts. We put them up every week.

[Joan]

That's how it works.

[Burt]

Yeah. And we'll be back next week with another.

[Joan]

With the nubba. With the nubba. Listen, I can't do it.

[Burt]

Joan, you're gonna have to do it.

[Doug]

Sounds like the boys.

[Joan]

Oh. We'll be back with another episode of the Neighborhood Listen. Until then, goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Burt]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and me.

[Doug]

Nicole Parker, and me, Brett Morris.

[Burt]

This episode's guest was played by Ruha Taslimi. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Joan]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the.