Tangible Smells with Pam Murphy

Summary

The Neighborhood Listen – "Tangible Smells with Pam Murphy"

Date: April 7, 2026
Hosts: Burnt Miapede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), Doug (Brett Morris)
Guest: Emily (Pam Murphy)

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Overview

Season 10 of The Neighborhood Listen launches with co-hosts Burnt, Joan, and Doug exploring the many quirks of Dignity Falls through posts from their neighborhood social networking app—this time, with a heavy whiff of mystery. The episode's main theme revolves around unusual (and sometimes unexplainable) household smells, culminating in an interview with Emily, a new homeowner plagued by an elusive, shifting odor in her house. As always, the show’s improv style stitches together real online posts with fantastical neighborhood stories, quick-witted banter, and off-the-wall character moments.

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Main Discussion Points

1. Season 10 Celebration & Local Traditions

Timestamps: 00:53–09:00

• The hosts celebrate reaching ten seasons, joking about Dignity Falls’ unique “10th anniversary” gift (screws!).
  • “Tennis screws. If you... and it can be any kind of screw.” – Burnt, 01:53
• Burnt and Joan amuse themselves with regional spins on anniversary tokens, musings on the existential journey of the bear in Corduroy, and meandering thoughts on Frog and Toad as a metaphor for aging and waiting (“Waiting for Godot”).
  • “The more I think about it, they might be both going through early stage dementia.” – Joan, 03:34

2. Dignity Falls Life Updates & Tangents

Timestamps: 09:01–29:00

• Doug appears from another room, building a “hi-fi” setup with mouth-shaped speakers (“because the mouth is the ideal amplifier”).
  • “The speakers are in the shape of a human mouth... it’s the most ideal way to hear a guitar amplification system.” – Doug, 19:15
• The hosts riff about airline P.A. system sound checks, voice lessons, and debate which Lady and the Tramp character is most obscure.
• The “Big John” hi-fi listening party; running joke: only this setup can truly reveal the essence of the song “Big John.”
  • “You can only properly hear Big John on these systems.” – Doug, 22:24

3. Emily’s Mystery Smell: The Interview

Timestamps: 32:38–80:00

Emily’s Neighborhood Post (read at 35:07)

• Emily seeks help with a “subtle bad smell” in her new house that “hasn’t been vacant” and is “hard to explain…but obvious enough to be unpleasant.”
• She asks: “If this was your house, who would you think to call to say ‘Hey, we need you to come smell this smell and tell us what’s causing it?’ Lol.”

The Investigation Unfolds

• Joan and Burnt query Emily’s background as a buyer and her 18(!) house visits pre-purchase.
• Each viewing had a different smell—cookies, lavender lemonade, dog poop, mud from flooding, developer chemicals, etc.; the couple (Emily & the mostly silent Danny) never seemed to notice odd odors at the same time.

Notable quote:
“So 18 times the realtor was open that way and look. Yes, they had, you know, they baked cookies. Old tray…But as I stepped out over the threshold, I did get a little whiff of something. And I thought, huh, that's strange. But then back to cookies.” – Emily, 36:56, 38:41

The Smell (Describing the Indescribable)

• Finally, Emily attempts to describe the current, persistent odor:
  • “A little like when a mouse dies in the wall, but not completely.”
  • “There are notes—Drakkar Noir, but also like something rotting.”
  • “If sewer gases were being released in your home…not like dog poop, the essence of the sewer.”
  • Waves of Hawaiian Punch and “bad egg” follow.

Highlighted description:
“It's like if sewer gases were being released in your home... Like the essence of the sewer.” – Emily, 53:11

Hauntings, Curses, & Visions

• As the conversation spirals, Emily shares more: only she notices the smell; her family (spanning from toddler Clive to 34-year-old Bernice) barely communicates; she’s plagued by unsettling visions (babies with old faces, monarch butterfly swarms).
• Sounds include “scurry, scurry” and even “Big John” echoing through the house.
  • “Sometimes the noise is like... [screams].” – Emily, 58:25
  • “I hear scurry... I hear scurry, scurry. And then I hear, like, actual little feet scurrying.” – Emily, 59:26
• Emily’s agency and grasp on reality (and the presence of her family) comes into question:
  • “Sometimes I wonder, am I a ghost? Well, I mean, am I the ghost?” – Emily, 57:31
• The hosts debate: Is the house haunted or is Emily herself cursed? (Eventually, they suggest she’s “cursed.”)
  • “I don't think the house is haunted. I think you are cursed.” – Burnt, 71:25

Real Estate Scandal

• The hosts learn that notorious realtor Betty Kaiserhoff handled Emily’s home sale; Betty previously sold Dignity Falls’ city hall—and operates unethically.
  • “Betty's no good. She also doesn’t do her research on a property, as you can tell. And she also sells properties that shouldn’t be sold...this sounds like a haunted house to me.” – Joan, 63:26

Possession, Exorcism, and Dread

• Emily briefly becomes "possessed" by her family members during a live “channeling” on the podcast.
• The segment ends with advice to visit “Possessor's Row,” filled with exorcists and warn her against further inviting spirits.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You know what, Joan? That makes as much sense to me as people coming from all over to see that homemade baseball field… not that many people would be showing up there.” – Burnt, 21:27
• “I feel like we could be going on forever. Once they come back in two weeks, I would go down there and I would just find there's about four of them. They're all pretty much the same.” – Nicole/Joan on exorcists, 77:37
• "I think you're a sweet lady. I do think you're...I wish I could meet any one of your family members to get a sense of what's going on...or if they exist." – Joan, 72:06

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Key Timestamps

• 00:53 – Season 10 kickoff, Dignity Falls traditions
• 11:00–22:00 – Burnt’s voice lessons, hi-fi system, “Big John” obsession
• 35:07 – Emily’s post about the strange smell
• 36:50–49:00 – 18 (yes, 18!) house viewings, each with a different odor
• 52:10 – Emily describes the indescribable “tangible” odor
• 58:25 – First mention of house noises and visions
• 70:43 – Emily’s difficulties on airplanes (“We’re all going to die!”)
• 73:12 – Emily possessed by family; Doug plays “Big John” to exorcise
• 77:13 – Revelation about “Possessor’s Row”
• 85:22 – Discussion of odd job posting for a rental assistant
• 89:00 – Musings on the villainy of landlords and robots in the future
• 91:08 – Doug’s hi-fi system is revealed (giant speakers shaped like ears/mouths)
• 92:47 – Episode wrap-up

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The Episode’s Tone and Style

The tone is absurd, warm, and gently chaotic—switching between neighborhood satire, improv character comedy, and affectionate, surreal problem-solving. True to their style, the hosts take genuine online posts and joyfully run with their oddest implications.

Emily (Pam Murphy) is both heartfelt and hilariously unmoored, going from beleaguered homeowner to a vessel for otherworldly (and possibly family) spirits and back again. The hosts’ mock seriousness and rambling tangents maintain a constantly entertaining momentum.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

• You’ll get storylines involving haunted real estate, marital woes translated into one-syllable grunts, family drama with centuries-long gaps between siblings, and a catalog of smells from cookies to developer chemicals to ghostly sewer gas.
• The episode lampoons local real estate, examines personal isolation, and gently mocks suburban paranoia—with plenty of digressions about movies, hi-fis, and the limits of human communication.
• If you love off-the-cuff, heightened improv and neighborhood satire with just a hint of the supernatural, this is an ideal entry point for the new season.

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In summary:
"Tangible Smells with Pam Murphy" is a deftly absurd and layered return for The Neighborhood Listen, blending genuinely weird neighborhood concerns, surreal characters, and meta-comedy about podcasting and improv. The haunted house mystery is both a parody and a loving embrace of neighborhood drama—and a showcase for the uncanny powers of Pam Murphy as a guest.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Nicole Parker]

Occasionally, we change the names of some

[Paul F. Tompkins]

streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Nicole Parker]

And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Knock, knock.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Nicole Parker]

Good. In Dignity Fall, you've got the neighbor half AV and us, Vern and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell, we'll cover it all

[Paul F. Tompkins]

and meet new neighbors as well.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome to season 10 of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Emily]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the ox size of its many residents, two of whom are us. My name is Burnt Miapede. I am the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls Missy. And with me, as always, is Joan Pedestrian.

[Nicole Parker]

And I am the Dignity Falls top realtor and top local actress.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

And that was such a great intro. Burnt. I think that really kicks off season 10.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know, I was so excited because think about that. Ten seasons, a big deal. It's a big detective. Anything is a big deal.

[Nicole Parker]

What? What? What's the thing of the 10th anniversary? What? Paper. It's not paper. What is it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, insignificant Falls. We have our own.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, why am I asking that? I suppose because I realize not of all our. Not all of our listeners.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not of all of our listeners.

[Nicole Parker]

Not of all of our listeners are from Dignity Falls. So I went straight to thinking of our listeners.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. We do have our own in Dignity Falls. It's not like I forgot that 10 was screws.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tennis screws. If you. And it can be any kind of screw.

[Nicole Parker]

Any kind of screw.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Phillips, flathead, Wooden. Wooden screw. You have a copy of Turning of the Screw by Henry James.

[Nicole Parker]

Correct. Screw tape letters.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The screw tape letters. Of course.

[Nicole Parker]

It's more of a theme, really. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Screw magazine.

[Nicole Parker]

It's more of. It's more of a theme. Is more of a theme. Yes. What are some of the other ones? What are the ones you like best?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I like corduroy.

[Nicole Parker]

Corduroy is great. That's 17.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And a lot of people give pillows.

[Nicole Parker]

Pillows. You can give the book Corduroy. We've talked about that stuff before.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Talked about that before.

[Nicole Parker]

We've talked about it. Clearly, that bear. That bear breaks my heart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is Corduroy's. I don't think I've ever read.

[Nicole Parker]

Corduroy is. I'm gonna. I'm gonna cry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna cry.

[Nicole Parker]

Corduroy is about a teddy bear who has. He's. His name is Court.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's made. Of course.

[Nicole Parker]

His name is Corduroy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

But he's wearing Corduroy. I believe he's wearing Corduroy overalls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

And he's. He's missing a button.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. And the whole. It's just a search for a button. Maybe it's just. Maybe it's really more existential than search for a button. It's a search for a button.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I tell you something? Now, I'm not very active on social media.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I do follow on one of the platforms, there's a sort of bot that just. That just posts excerpts from Frog and Toad.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, I know what you're talking about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And these guys. Now, it's all out of order, right?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I have no idea. But there's a lot of talk about a button.

[Nicole Parker]

There's a lot of talk about a button.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And boy, oh boy, these guys are really going through it with this button.

[Nicole Parker]

The more I think about it, they might be both going through early stage dementia.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's never. It's never mentioned.

[Nicole Parker]

Quiet. They wear sweaters. They're sitting by the pond. They're not doing much. They don't have people. Family doesn't come visit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Their conversations are very.

[Nicole Parker]

Might already be dead.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're very mundane.

[Nicole Parker]

It might be a Waiting for Godot moment. It might be a Waiting for Godot situation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I didn't.

[Nicole Parker]

Where they just talk about a button endlessly, you know, in Waiting for Godot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that. Is that a theory that they're.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yes, definitely. You didn't know that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did not know. Please don't shame theater. Shame me.

[Nicole Parker]

I never mean to theater shame anybody. And you know what? I'm going to slap myself on the wrist for that. Ow. I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a theater tradition. If you theater shame someone, it's like

[Nicole Parker]

saying to slap yourself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Scottish play.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I thought it was. I thought it was supposed to be one of those in a very sartre way, you know, like. Like no Exit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, that makes sense because it, it, it.

[Nicole Parker]

And maybe Purgatory is more what people say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what the. And to watch it feels that way.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that makes sense. That makes sense. You're in this Place of waiting. And like, eventually this will be over. Just like purgatory.

[Nicole Parker]

And then one other guy comes out and does like one monologue and then he leaves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

No, really, there's another person in the play, but people always forget that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like I saw this, I

[Nicole Parker]

think his name is. And I'm going to be very, very, very, very wrong. I haven't been talking into a microphone for a couple months now. And we all know that my ma. Mouth has to warm up to the podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

And my brain has to catch up

[Paul F. Tompkins]

because it's a different.

[Nicole Parker]

You have different menopause or like, I like to call it feminine overdrive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Overdrive. You have different sort of tools for each way that you perform.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so microphone performing is different than theater performing.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. And I've. I've been doing like a deep, deeply intense Shakespeare workshop. And so that's why.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. So that's why it's. I'm. My mouth is a little bit. I have to get my mouth around the words.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's put a pin in that for a moment because I do want to hear about it. But what is the name of this Waiting for Godot character?

[Nicole Parker]

Poncho. I'm pretty sure it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

I could be wrong.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are the other.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a really big swing to be wrong and say it's Poncho because it's just, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it's not like it's Jake. You know what I mean? I know it's something like that.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I think it's Poncho.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Poncho. And what are the other guys names? Oh, Bilbo. No, Doorstep.

[Nicole Parker]

I feel like it's one of those things where I could have told you if you had not asked me. That's my way of turning my, My, My bad memory back on to you. You see, it's your fault. People say that all the time. If you hadn't asked me, I would have known. Well, how can I prove that? How can I prove that I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the phrase I've ever heard before.

[Nicole Parker]

Really? Oh, it's a real emotion.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think I would have known.

[Nicole Parker]

It's like the name was on the tip of my tongue and I was about to say it. And then when someone puts you on the spot, you can't. You can't think. Your thoughts run away.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I get that. I get that feeling. One time I, I. A friend of mine told me this story. That dodo.

[Nicole Parker]

I think that's one of the names. Dee Dee.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dee Dee. It can't be Dee Dee.

[Nicole Parker]

I think it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like Dee Dee, Dee Dee.

[Nicole Parker]

There's no way to find this out, Kiki. Okay, keep going, keep going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Beth and Poncho, my friend, my friend, he and his cousins were playing Trivial Pursuit when it was a new game.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so he was. He was a young boy and. And so the big rowdy group of people and they're all playing around a big table and his one cousin, after the answer had been revealed, said, I was gonna think that next. In all sincerity, I was going to think that next.

[Nicole Parker]

I like that.

[Emily]

See, I.

[Nicole Parker]

That's how I felt. I was gonna think that next. Now here it says Estragon, which I forgot was the name of one of the characters. Estragon and Vladimir. But I do think that they're short until like Dee Dee and Gogo. I'm not kidding. I think it's something like that. I. In the script, at least I think they.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you telling me these characters, they have proper names and then they also have nicknames?

[Nicole Parker]

I could swear that they do, but I'm not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are both ever said, or is it just like that's in the script and

[Nicole Parker]

then in the drama school of reading it and it's shortened from. It's shortened to two nicknames. But I'm not going to waste our listeners time looking that up. Someone is screaming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're not going to waste their time.

[Nicole Parker]

Like someone is wasting our time listening and screaming it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stop screaming.

[Nicole Parker]

Stop.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your dog looks to you for protection and to protect you.

[Nicole Parker]

So, okay, now when we. We. It's been a minute. Burn. So the last time we were speaking was that you had spent Christmas Eve on the top of the Devil's. What's it called?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Devil's Tower.

[Nicole Parker]

Devil's Tower in Wyoming now with Gabby and her family.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Before we get into that, I do feel like we left four or five dangling threads.

[Nicole Parker]

Did we?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From just now, we did.

[Nicole Parker]

What are they?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, what are you. What's your intensive Shakespeare workshop? Oh, well, why did we start talking about Waiting for Godot?

[Nicole Parker]

Because I. We were talking about Frog and Toad. That's why.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Frog and Toad.

[Nicole Parker]

See, I took care of it. We came back, everything's fine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you think Frog.

[Nicole Parker]

Everything's fine. Season 10 is still successful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. We're on track.

[Nicole Parker]

We're on track. We're doing it. We're right where we need to be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're the one who has the problem. That's what I say to the listener.

[Nicole Parker]

No, let's not say that to the listeners.

[Emily]

Well, wait.

[Nicole Parker]

This is not a good way to start.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're not fans.

[Nicole Parker]

I think we have a few. Doug has a bunch of fans, by the way. Hey, Doug. How you doing? My husband and everyone in a different room.

[Doug]

Hello. Happy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Screw I. Doug. We don't say that anymore.

[Nicole Parker]

Everybody got in trouble. There were cards. There was screw day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was a day we celebrated.

[Nicole Parker]

And it got very inappropriate.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course it did. What did they think was gonna happen?

[Nicole Parker]

Nobody made it into work. And if they did, it wasn't good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And people. The way people explain it to their kids was criminal.

[Nicole Parker]

So crazy. So crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't. The kids don't need to know the absolute truth of everything.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's plenty of time.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely. Yeah. So, babe, we're not going to say screw day, but happy day to you.

[Doug]

Well, it's the 10.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it is.

[Doug]

Season.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, it's the 10 season. It is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's our 10th season.

[Doug]

What are we calling it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The 10th anniversary.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I think we were talking about this before. I know. Ken came up.

[Doug]

Susan. Ben.

[Nicole Parker]

Ken.

[Emily]

Season.

[Nicole Parker]

Sven is good. Season.

[Doug]

I said Ben.

[Nicole Parker]

I heard you, Ben.

[Doug]

Okay, so we'll make sure that registered.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, we heard it.

[Nicole Parker]

I think it registered as much as it could have, which is why it didn't feel like a lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Agreed.

[Emily]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, we'll think about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is difficult, though, because Doug is in another room, and I understand that sometimes he needs verbal, you know, like, sort of airline.

[Nicole Parker]

What now?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What? Flight attendant. Flight attendant style. He needs a verbal confirmation.

[Nicole Parker]

He always. That in person or not, I should

[Doug]

have a button to, you know, call you.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you wish.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I say something? That the. The button. The. The tone on the airplane can either be so pleasant.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or horrifying.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. There's no in between. There's no in between.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If it's up too loud.

[Nicole Parker]

Very good, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If it's up too loud.

[Nicole Parker]

I imagine that your face looked really long and round when you did that sound.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why don't they do. On the ground? Why don't they do both?

[Nicole Parker]

And your mouth was round.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Face was long.

[Nicole Parker]

I know what I said. Go ahead.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know what I said. And I said what I said. Why don't they do a sound check on the airplane before the passengers get on?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They know if it's too loud.

[Nicole Parker]

They sure do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And also. Or too low sometimes when it is too loud.

[Nicole Parker]

That got dug. Because he's a sound guy. That really. That tickled him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's. How long could it Take two seconds.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And here's the thing.

[Nicole Parker]

What are all the sounds you need to run through?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Another thing is.

[Nicole Parker]

Whatever the one he.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the speaker.

[Nicole Parker]

And the speaker. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When the captain gets on there. Another thing is when it is too loud, they don't do anything about it.

[Nicole Parker]

That's all they do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And you can't even understand them. I think they don't know how to use a mic properly. You know, most people who do not use a mic normally, they do not know how to use it properly, but then. So I think they think they have to put it inside of their mouth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They do.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. Or. Or this. Whether or not it's. What would you call this? A little hand. A hand mic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, he can't see me.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm holding like a. Like you would on a CB radio, I would say.

[Doug]

I always imagined that they were speaking into an intercom on the wall.

[Nicole Parker]

Isn't that funny? Now my mind goes to microphone, because I think that'd be more fun. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Wouldn't it be fun if they came out with a wired microphone and just walked down the hall, right down the road with it, and it just went the whole way down. You had to be careful not to trip her up. Now, that would be a fun flight. But he was thinking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was gonna say, and you don't want to. You don't want to have a wireless.

[Nicole Parker]

That's correct. On a plate. If it's not good in a theater, it's not going to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People be so jealous.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you had to turn your phone off. And then this flight attendant is walking up and down with a wireless mic.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll dry our best on Southwest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Give me your trust.

[Nicole Parker]

That's all they say. Can you imagine if all you say is trash, trash, trash? Sometimes the way the person says it, because it's loud on the plane, all you hear is the part. And that's all I hear for 20 minutes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you not notice my singing?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I did. I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wanted to surprise you.

[Nicole Parker]

Wanted it to register. Yes, because you sang more than one note.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have been taking voice lessons.

[Nicole Parker]

What? Now, see, for the Shakespeare lesson. Sorry, sorry. But it's season 10. I get to swear in the first episode. Doug does not let me swear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He doesn't swear.

[Nicole Parker]

You get to swear as much as you want. I don't know why. Okay, now let. Don't take that. Take some away from me. Leave some for me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Always there a certain amount per episode.

[Nicole Parker]

I think in Doug's head, there is. There's A maximum. But okay, let's forget the Shakespeare thing, which is just me and a guy in a room, and he's just very mean to me about my mom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I went to adjust glasses that were not on my feet.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I saw that app, but I didn't know it was going on. Tell me about your voice lessons.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I started.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you going to Trudy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I am going to Trudy.

[Nicole Parker]

This is amazing. I didn't want to suggest it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I ran into her at Dickey's, the supermarket.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I was humming.

[Emily]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And she said, what's that racket?

[Nicole Parker]

She's so. She has one volume.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She came from the next aisle over. Of course, I was in frozen foods, and she was in combustibles. And she came around the corner. She came around the corner.

[Nicole Parker]

Dickey's has everything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dickey's has everything.

[Nicole Parker]

But it's all edible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's all edible. So these are combustibles, is an aisle where you can either eat these things or you can just burn them up.

[Nicole Parker]

That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can start a fire with them. They're not that tasty.

[Nicole Parker]

They're not. They're what they say. Dickies isn't pickies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's correct.

[Nicole Parker]

That's their guarantee.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And Trudy came around the corner saying, you, sir, were you making that noise? And I said, well, yes, I was. I was trying to hum. And she said, oh, wow, you're coming to my studio 10am Monday morning.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a big deal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was ordered. It was more than invited.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I said, I don't know if I can afford voice lessons. She said, we'll figure something out.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, God bless her.

[Doug]

Payment plan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's that?

[Doug]

Payment plan. Installments.

[Nicole Parker]

Payment plan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You better watch out. Trudy's gonna come for you next.

[Doug]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I've been seeing her for a month and a half now.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's really had such a wonderful effect on my ability to sing more than the two notes.

[Nicole Parker]

This is so exciting. Could you please maybe give me a little bit more than. Or just even sing a. A snippet of what you've been working on with Trudy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. Okay, so we start with, of course, hot cross buns.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course. That's what she always. Honestly, she lives and dies by it. She swears by it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because it's an easy one for me to start with, you know, because it's got three notes.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It's very easy to learn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Hot crossbow.

[Nicole Parker]

She has you do that. She has you go into a laugh because it opens up Your larynx. So that's good. You're doing the technique.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not take it too seriously.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's the one who takes it seriously. So I can laugh. But then when I laugh, she's cool.

[Nicole Parker]

She does. She does. I got to have one lesson with her, and I. I remember she says,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't want you to take this too seriously. That's up to me.

[Nicole Parker]

That's my job. I'll take it seriously. Yeah, that's my job.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't know what that meant until she instructed me to laugh and then immediately sque. Golden before. And I was like, I don't.

[Nicole Parker]

It makes you sing better. Okay, so give us to. Give it to us again. One more time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

One. A penny to a penny. Heart cross.

[Nicole Parker]

It's interesting. She always gives someone a character to think of when they're singing. Yes, because you sound like a different person, but that's okay. Who are you thinking of? Who's your character?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was thinking. Now, this is obscure.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course it has to be. She demands it. She demands it, and you have to think of it right there. She may.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you familiar with this? It's this weird movie where these two dogs fall in love with each other.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is obscure. Are you talking about. Wait. Lady and the Tramp?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God. Have you seen it?

[Nicole Parker]

Wait a minute. Bert. That's not. That's not obscure. Okay, so then who are you from that obscure movie?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, the waiter.

[Nicole Parker]

See, I can't even place them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, they're having dinner.

[Nicole Parker]

I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In an alley.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Oh, you're talking about the one who sings to them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, see, I guess I'm thinking of him speaking, and that never happens, right? Or does it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think he does speak.

[Nicole Parker]

So you're just singing like him?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, because. But he also sings.

[Nicole Parker]

No, because I just said you're singing like him, and he also sings. What's wrong? What's happening?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

John, I. I don't want to start the season this way.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't either. What's happening? I don't know what's happening. Could someone tell me what's happening?

[Emily]

I feel like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like you're Doug, Say, out of this one.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't do that. He's in my house like Doug. Get into it if you want to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's not the same room. If you were in the same room, Doug.

[Doug]

By the way, let's take a break. Thank you for sticking up for me.

[Nicole Parker]

You're welcome, babe. What? Why'd you say Joan? Did you say, call me Joan? Did you call me Joan. What did you say? Joan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your name is Joan, right?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. You just normally say babe?

[Doug]

Yeah. Wow. That scrambled my head.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Me too.

[Nicole Parker]

What room are you in, guys? What room are you in?

[Doug]

Oh, I'm in the hi fi room. I'm building my hi fi system.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Building hi fi system?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did you find? A playboy magazine from 1978. Gave you some advice.

[Doug]

They've come a long way since then.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, but they're still called hi Fi's.

[Doug]

Sure. It stands for higher Higher Fire. Fire.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because you want to increase the fire of your sound system.

[Nicole Parker]

So what does it look like? What's going to be in there? Just a bunch of speakers or what?

[Doug]

No, I'm modeling it. I spent a lot of money on this, and we'll make it back, I promise.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay? All right, Go on.

[Doug]

I think people will come from around the world.

[Nicole Parker]

Like it's Field of Dreams.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People will come from around the world to see this. Do you want to invite that into your life?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't want that. I. String of cards.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Listen, at least the baseball field was outside.

[Nicole Parker]

Exactly.

[Doug]

These speakers are. They're in the shape of a human mouth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't like the sound of that at all, Doug.

[Doug]

Because it's the most ideal. When you think about it, the most ideal way to hear a guitar amplification system.

[Nicole Parker]

It is the mouth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The human mouth is the most ideal amplification.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why do we need microphones then?

[Nicole Parker]

They used to not. They used to not. What do you use one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, then why do they.

[Doug]

What does the microphone. The microphone should be shaped like the human ear.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I'm not even sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess so. Not. Not the speaker.

[Nicole Parker]

The microphone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The microphone should be shaped like.

[Doug]

The speaker ought to be a mouse. So microphone ought to be an ear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So with your mouth, you spe into an ear that then goes out through another mouth. Yes. You know what, Joan? It makes sense. I get it now.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I'm glad that someone's making sense since I was not making sense. And I apologize.

[Doug]

I've been looking up a lot of videos about the. The most expensive high five.

[Nicole Parker]

Why does that. To be the most expensive. Babe, we already have so many rooms.

[Doug]

There are certain things you can only hear on a system like this.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Oh, gosh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Such as.

[Nicole Parker]

That's. Such as.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gotta call it. Such as.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Such as.

[Doug]

I'm gonna play you a sample, but you're not gonna hear it properly because you're not in the room.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are we ready? I'm not listening through a big Mouth.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. Oh, that does sound loud. Is that not it? Oh, you don't have your headphones on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Burnt. He stood 6 foot 6 weight 245 broad at the shoulder Barrel with the

[Nicole Parker]

hip and everybody knew you didn't give no lip. Don't. Big John. Oh, that is a good song. Oh, what is that? Like a college acapella group doing the harmony?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I remember that. And so with this magnificent hi fi system. That's what you're listening to?

[Doug]

Yeah, that's all I'm listening to.

[Nicole Parker]

That's it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's just that one song.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know. That people come around the world to hear. This is a repeated track.

[Doug]

This is a real thing for you?

[Emily]

It is.

[Doug]

I realize you want to know Big John.

[Emily]

Big John.

[Nicole Parker]

Listening parties are a big thing.

[Doug]

You can only properly hear Big John on these systems.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Honestly, Joan, that makes as much sense to me as people coming from all over. See that homemade baseball field? That not that many people would be showing up there.

[Nicole Parker]

Ray Liotta. Ray Liotta would get them there. That's what got.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because what the. The idea was, hey, go play baseball here, Jackson. If you remember, they never mention to like. It's just understood. People are coming because they know ghosts play baseball.

[Nicole Parker]

Says they will come and they won't even know why. That's what they'll say. So it is terrifying. I know. It is terrible.

[Doug]

Wait, I don't remember him saying that.

[Nicole Parker]

He does at the end. If you build it, people will come.

[Doug]

If you build it, they will come.

[Nicole Parker]

No, that's a voice. Nope. That's a voice he hears in the beginning and he doesn't realize. Spoiler alert. Sorry for everybody who hasn't seen it. That and lady and the Tramp. Spoiler alert. He builds it for his father because his father used to play baseball. And at the very end, his father comes out of the cornfield. Sorry, babe. It always gets him. And he a. He has a game of catch with it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He has a game of catch with him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Talk about a movie that's just nothing but vibes. Like, that's not.

[Nicole Parker]

But in the end, that's when James earnes says, it's okay. People will come. Right? And they won't even know why. And you would say, that's fine. You could look around, just charge. You can have $5.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

I've seen it many times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not technically a good movie.

[Nicole Parker]

I disagree.

[Doug]

Do you think the.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm the guy on the subway with his little Metro car going 100% hard. Disagree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That guy.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you think Guy. Does he ever. 100 agree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He does.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. I have seen him happen that often.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But also mix it up sometimes. I 50 agree.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. I'm 79. Agree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Say I see your point.

[Doug]

But.

[Nicole Parker]

And you know, the twins were trying to do this, but then they couldn't, like, do the math, you know, because one was playing the one person and then the other one was playing the interviewer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

So he'd be like, i79 disagreeing. He's like, well, then i20.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, they made it like that.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. But it fit. It fell apart terribly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were haggling.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Because they're trying to find their next. Next project. I'm talking, of course, about my boys, my twin boys. Matt and Clambake. Slim and Clam Blake's. Clam Blake. Why did I name it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I call him Slim. I call him Slimmer Clam.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Get that bake out of there. I mean, it's his middle name. His name is Clam Bait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't realize there was a space.

[Nicole Parker]

People always get it wrong. They always get it wrong.

[Emily]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It's because my great, great grandfather was named Baker

[Paul F. Tompkins]

and his wife was named Clam.

[Nicole Parker]

She was, oh, great, great, great grandma Clam. She was the best.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That used to be a very common name for a girl.

[Nicole Parker]

It was such a common. In class, you'd be like, clam. R. Clam. B. Clam.

[Emily]

L.

[Nicole Parker]

Here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you for closing the loop. You're welcome, Doug. How long we've been recording?

[Nicole Parker]

Seems like a very long time. All is some. One other thing to talk about. Well, it's been the first. It's the first episode, so it always takes a second to catch everyone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

True. It's true.

[Nicole Parker]

What you say, babe?

[Doug]

I just had one question.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Doug]

Do you think the umps also showed up through the cornfield?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, because there was. There was one. Have you not. Babe, you've seen it. You cry about the animals.

[Doug]

You know what? I'm always filled with tears at five years.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He is.

[Nicole Parker]

He is. He is filled with tears from top to bottom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tears. Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

His entire body looks like he's crying. Every gland. Yes. There is an umpire. There is an umpire. All I was going to say is they've moved on from their prank show. It never worked. They couldn't get the prank your parents show to take off. They couldn't get Mr. Doubtfire is not going to happen anymore. They wrote Mr. Doubtfire for me. As a gender switching role.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they still have a deal with the Chick Fil A network?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't believe they do. No. I'm pretty sure that they got their. Their, Their. Their prank scripted back in turnaround.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. They're in development hell.

[Nicole Parker]

So sad. But here's the problem. So there were two things that were playing all the time this past couple of months in my house. It was Sinners and he did Rivalry. Now they were watching Sinners. I was watching Heated Rivalry. Have you seen this movie? Have you seen the series? It's not a movie. It's a series.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I watched the first episode. Cabbie and I watched the first episode of Heated Rivalry. And we thought, oh, we've aged out of this show. But then we have since talked to someone else who said, no, no, no. There's actually a story that develops.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? There actually is. And to be honest, there's a gay couple that's more interesting than that gay couple, if you can believe it. And the second they came on screen, I was more interested in them because I have to say, the butts are great. Okay. I'm not. Sorry, babe. Sorry about it. But the butts are just skaters.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You won't.

[Doug]

She sends me to sleep over at Tonille's house when she wants to watch Reheated rivalry.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. When I watch it again, I call it Reheated Rivalry. And it's just as good the second time around. It's like leftovers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sometimes even better the next day.

[Doug]

You said it's better. Better the next time.

[Nicole Parker]

Sometimes good. Cold, to be honest,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

in the morning.

[Nicole Parker]

So it makes it sound like I've watched it a lot more than that. I haven't really. It's just that the first. And that's the voice I might have to do throughout the season. Hollander. Because that's all he ever says. That's all he says. Sorry. This is not me swearing. This is a quote. Okay. But that's all they say. It just makes me think, wow, is this what maybe two gay jocks sound like? Because we know we put two men together. There's no conversation. No one talks about their feelings. It's like, just you, Hollander. Fuck you, you. I. I know there was a hug in there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was that to please Doug? You can't call her on that one.

[Doug]

She's used to me saying that.

[Nicole Parker]

He says hug you because he doesn't want to swear around the house. Anyways, I. I was telling the this, but then they wanted to tell me about sinners. And because they've Been working on pitching new things. They've learned that what you have to do to pitch something is to say it's blank meets blank. Right? It's 30 Rock meets Tron.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you. I'm just saying. No, thank you to that one.

[Nicole Parker]

I'd watch that. 30 Rock meets Tron.

[Emily]

I'd watch that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm good.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so what they've been trying to come up with is you can send

[Paul F. Tompkins]

me to Tony's house when you're watching.

[Nicole Parker]

What they come up with is sinners meets heated rivalry. Now, what does that mean? What. What will that mean? They haven't come up with it yet. That's a good guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, it's Interview with a Vampire.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, see, that one I've never seen. Okay, now, I haven't.

[Emily]

These.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

These books, it's.

[Nicole Parker]

And Rice. I know that block.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's these two vampires, and they have a relationship, and they. But they, you know, it's a. It's not an easy relationship between Lester and Louis. They have problems. Okay, and now if you've ever seen the movie. Have you ever seen the movie Interview with a Vampire? Yeah. You haven't seen the series. You have seen the movie either.

[Nicole Parker]

I see none of it burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's. Here's an interesting thing about Interview with the Vampire movie. And we'll find out how long we've been recording in a second. Is that it stars two of the biggest film stars of the past 100 years. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise. They are routinely out acted by a child. Oh, oh, Kirsten Dunst.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, that's right. I heard she was amazing.

[Doug]

Who are the biggest film stars in the hundred years before the last hundred years?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Al Jolson and Mary Pickford. Okay, Doug. Okay, guys.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's not get any. Let's. Let's keep it. Let's keep it happy. Let's keep it. Let's keep it light.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't worry. Be happy.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. Should we ask how long we've been recording?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

28 minutes.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not that bad. It's been longer, but we should stop.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But we should take a break.

[Nicole Parker]

Absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. We will leave those threads where they are, and when we return, we will have a guest right Here on season 10 premiere of the Neighborhood. Listen, Nicole.

[Nicole Parker]

Paul.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This time of year, it always makes me rethink what's in my closet.

[Nicole Parker]

I hear you. Paul. Wake up. Wake up. Stay awake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, I was just sighing.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm trying to keep fewer things, but better ones. Pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, I can help you with that. You don't have to be sad about it. Ow. Quince.

[Doug]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Quince. Oh, come on. You remember Quince. The fabrics that feel elevated, the fits that are thoughtful and the pricing that actually makes sense.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course I do. Because Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen. And they're insanely soft fl activear fabric.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. And their men's linen pants and their shirts are lightweight and breathable and comfortable. And their flow knit activewear is moisture wicking. That's one of my favorite words. Wicking. Moisture wicking, anti odor and soft enough that you will actually want to wear it all day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Holy moly.

[Nicole Parker]

In fact, I dare you to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what? Challenge accepted. You know what I think about quints and I'm so glad you reminded me of them. The best part is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands.

[Nicole Parker]

How?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm glad you asked.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Quints works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup like you have been paying for. By the way, everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy.

[Nicole Parker]

And I have to tell you, I have a six year old boy and I bought him two of the pairs of joggers that Quinn sells for children and I bought them from two years ago and he has run holes through every knee on every single pant. All the knees have holes in them except for those pairs of pants from Quince. And that I don't know. If you want proof of well made clothing, I don't know what is a better testament than that. That is that a four year old boy who runs around a lot that couldn't ruin them. And I bought them again for him in the bigger size. He loves them. They're so comfortable. I want them myself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me tell you something. I've seen this kid run around. He has murder on pants. Refresh your wardrobe with quints. Go to quince.com TNL for free shipping and 365 day returns.

[Nicole Parker]

It's now available in Canada too. Did you know that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to q U-I-N-C e.com TNL for free shipping and 365 day returns.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Quince.com TNL

[Nicole Parker]

hi, this is Holly. I have a rare antique heavy stone cat statue for indoor garden or patio. Heavy stone material stands about 2ft tall. So you can see this. It's. It's a little beat up looking. I. I had it listed at $100. As you can see. I put a line through that. It's now 20, because I gotta get rid of this. If you look closely, this cat, y', all, this cat looks like John Voight, and it is so upsetting. I don't care for Jon Voight. I mean, I don't care if you do and if you do come get this cat, because it's as. It's. It's as if he said, huh, John Voight. But make it cat. You know, like the kids love to say. It's like that. And I can't look at it anymore. I can't have it anymore. I, I. Maybe it's the son that did this to him because he didn't look like John Voight when I bought him. But every day, more and more, he looks like him. So please come get this Jon Voight cat, and honestly, I'll just give it to you for free. Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, did it sound like a sort of cowboy?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I pictured you on a. On a. On a horse with a cowboy hat. You look good with a cowboy hat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I think you look really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've never worn a hat.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. I don't feel. I don't feel like I have a hat face.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I think you do. I need a head. No, it's a good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Head is bad, right?

[Nicole Parker]

No, hat hair is bad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hat hair. I. What was I going to say? Yeehaw.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry. Oh, well, can I. Can I just say that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cowboy hat.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, cowboy hat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you know what it is in French?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't.

[Doug]

I'm so sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you say Royale? Pulp Fiction.

[Doug]

Royale with hat.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Royale with Hat. It's very good. Very good, Doug. Very good.

[Doug]

What was the real answer?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It doesn't matter.

[Doug]

No, don't shut down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not shutting down.

[Nicole Parker]

By the way, I did look it up. Vladimir and Estragon, in Waiting for Go do, refer to themselves as Dee Dee and Gogo. And that felt crazy to guess that it was Dee Dee, but I was correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dee Dee comes from Vladimir, and Gogo comes from Estrud.

[Nicole Parker]

I wouldn't think that Estragon would be. The nickname would be. Oh, go, Go. You know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I wouldn't think Dee Dee for Vladimir either.

[Nicole Parker]

Fair enough. All right, so we have a post.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Isn't that weird to think of Dracula's first name as Dee Dee?

[Nicole Parker]

No way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You may call me Didi.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Dee.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, we have a guest here, our first guest of the season. Now what we do every week here on the Neighborhood Listeners, we call them the Neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods. And we look for interesting people to talk to. Some neighbors whose messages may be. Need to be amplified, or maybe they have to answer for something that's happened, too. This week is no different. We have one submitted by a listener. If you see one that perhaps you think we've missed, why don't you screenshot it and send it to us at. This comes to us from a listener, Sam Dano. Thank you, Sam Dano. Or perhaps Sam. No, sorry, it was abbreviated by the preview. Dan Giordano.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Definitely Dan Giordano.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Neither Sam nor Dano, but Dan Giordano. Thank you, Dan, for submitting this. This is in the recommendation section. And this is posted by someone named Emily. Emily writes, okay, this is a tough one, and hoping neighborhap comes through for us. So we just bought our house about a month ago, and it had been lived in for over 25 years before us, so it hasn't been vacant. There is this subtle bad smell on the main level. It's a rancher. It's not in the bedrooms or basement. It's really hard to explain, but it's obvious enough to be unpleasant because the smell is so hard to pinpoint or even explain. I'm hoping someone could share what kind of specialist professional they think I should contact in order to even start somewhere with figuring this out. If this was your house, who would you think to call to say, oh, I see. I thought it was.

[Nicole Parker]

You thought this was a threat to the.

[Emily]

I thought it was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like, if you did previously.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Yes. Well, I would understand that this is

[Paul F. Tompkins]

a call for compassion.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If this was your house, who would you think to call to say, quote, hey, we need you to come smell this smell and tell us what's causing it? End quote. Lol. Anyway, thanks in advance for any thoughts. And here now to speak further on this matter is Emily. Emily, welcome to the neighborhood listener.

[Emily]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for having me.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, our pleasure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

First of all, sorry for the trouble with this house.

[Emily]

What is that smell?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, here's my question. If I could. I mean, I am a realtor, and I want to know if, when you first were looking at this house, did you notice a smell?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great question, Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This was number one at the top of my list to ask.

[Nicole Parker]

Right, right.

[Emily]

Well, now, Joan, I regret not using you as a real.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I do appreciate that, and you are forgiven.

[Emily]

Well, we walked into the house when we went to go view it the first time. And we looked at it many times.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How many times total?

[Emily]

I would say 18.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a lot of times I will

[Nicole Parker]

say I've impressed that your realtor let you do that. 18 times. 18.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, Joan, as a realtor, how many times would someone request a look at the same house before you said, hey, you can't keep doing that?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I mean, I really said the deal's not alive if it's over. Five. That's what I always say. Over five viewings. That's how you remember it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Because, you know, at that point, you know, you either know, you don't know, or at that point also, I did have a couple that wanted multiple times to come see. And then I realized what they were doing was just having sex in every different room in the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I was like, oh, I have to just end this.

[Emily]

I didn't even think of that.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I don't think most people would.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You didn't think to have sex in every room of the house?

[Emily]

I still haven't even thought of it. This is a new idea.

[Nicole Parker]

So she seems so upset about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It does occur to a lot of people after they have the house.

[Nicole Parker]

Fair enough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's have sex in every room.

[Nicole Parker]

So 18 times the realtor was open

[Emily]

that way and look. Yes, they had, you know, they baked cookies. Old tray.

[Nicole Parker]

Always

[Emily]

they baked cookies. It smelled like baked cookies and they were good. Ok. And so I said, okay, well, the house smells like cookies. Then the next time that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you registered the smell at the time?

[Emily]

No, it smells like. No, it wasn't this. Emily, you're looking at. No, I can't.

[Nicole Parker]

Emily, I need help.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, Berndt is trying to help you. Okay, go ahead. Burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you did register the smell of delicious baked cookies.

[Emily]

Yes, and that was all I could smell. But as I. I stepped out over the threshold, I did get a little whiff of something. And I thought, huh, that's strange. But then back to cookies.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, back to cookies. Even out to the car.

[Emily]

On the way to the car, because I think the exhaust fan was on, you know, over the oven and it's blowing in.

[Nicole Parker]

So sort of like when you're swimming in the ocean or a lake and you get to a hit a war. You hit a warm spot and it's weird. Or then you hit a cold spot and it's like, why out of nowhere?

[Emily]

Yeah, it's pee in the ocean. Yes. It's everyone peeing around you and turtles Peeing and fish pee.

[Nicole Parker]

It's all turtles peeing, probably.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Turtles and fish.

[Emily]

The turtle pee is cold, the fish pee is hot. You know, and that's how we're learning

[Nicole Parker]

a lot of things.

[Emily]

So the second time I looked at

[Nicole Parker]

the house, we've got 16 to go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We do. I think for. For to help properly with this problem, we're going to. No, no, no.

[Nicole Parker]

We haven't described. We haven't demonstrated brevity all 18 times. Yep. Let's do it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Emily]

Okay. So the second time I went to go see the house, there was a lovely Yankee Candle. Oh. Right in the middle of the room. It was lavender lemonade.

[Nicole Parker]

Lavender lemonade. Okay.

[Emily]

I mean, who wouldn't love that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that scent a lemonade that's made with lavender or it's just, here's the smell of lemonade and here's the smell of lavender, and we're just gonna smash them in together?

[Emily]

I think it's a bit of both.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I think. I think it's an infused lemonade. You know, it's like when you go to a spa and there's, like, you know, leaves in the water.

[Emily]

So I said, delicious. This is relaxing. When I walked in and I looked at it that time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Emily]

And that's all I could smell.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Is this you? And. Sorry, did you say you had a partner?

[Emily]

I do.

[Nicole Parker]

Your husband.

[Emily]

Did you say I have one? Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, great. And what's his name?

[Emily]

Danny.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, Danny. And is Danny with you on all of these so far?

[Emily]

Danny's with me on both of these shows.

[Nicole Parker]

And what did Danny smell?

[Emily]

Nothing.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I guess that's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Both times.

[Emily]

He didn't smell a thing.

[Nicole Parker]

He couldn't even smell the cookies.

[Emily]

No, he didn't say anything.

[Nicole Parker]

He didn't say anything. That's more like. That's it. That's very similar. You know, a man walking through an open house, he knows. He lets the wife be in charge

[Emily]

most even I said, those cookies smelled good, and he didn't respond.

[Nicole Parker]

Huh?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Didn't respond at all.

[Nicole Parker]

Maybe that speaks to a different problem.

[Emily]

That's typical for Danny.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does he not like cookies?

[Emily]

I think he.

[Nicole Parker]

I think he doesn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no, Emily.

[Nicole Parker]

I think he doesn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emily. Oh, no.

[Emily]

I think he doesn't like me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, Emily. Oh, my God.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I didn't mean for. How did we get there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so sorry. Oh, gosh.

[Emily]

So the third time I look, push

[Nicole Parker]

through

[Emily]

the people who live there, you know, they lived there for 25 years. They raised their family. You know, now they're empty nesters. You know, their kids are off to college, so they're sell. They don't need a house this big, even though it is just a rancher.

[Nicole Parker]

Right. So.

[Emily]

But the basement's redone.

[Nicole Parker]

I've never referred to it as a rancher. Interesting. Rancher.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's fun.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. I mean, I usually just say ranch style home, but rancher is kind of fun. I might start using that.

[Emily]

They did have a dog, the people. So the dog.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, The.

[Emily]

You know, they weren't expecting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good rephrase.

[Emily]

They weren't expecting anyone to come because

[Doug]

she's got her Yoda translator.

[Emily]

There wasn't. They weren't expecting anyone to come.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait a second. Then this makes it sound like this

[Emily]

wasn't an open house.

[Nicole Parker]

So is this the third time you're talking about? It wasn't an open house.

[Emily]

A bit of a pop in.

[Nicole Parker]

That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is. This is. I think that sounds like more of

[Nicole Parker]

a break and then a pop in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were they selling the house?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. We bought the Catch Burn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. I know you bought the house, but you did go there 18 times before buying the house.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So were they initially selling the house or did you eventually get them to the point of selling?

[Emily]

No, the first time was an open house.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Emily]

The second time was an open house.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

The third time was a pop in.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you walk me through the pop in?

[Emily]

The pop in was. Hello.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

Do you mind if I just pop in? Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

And what did this person who answered the door?

[Emily]

Oh, the husband.

[Nicole Parker]

All right.

[Emily]

And he said, sure, I don't mind.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pretty good impression.

[Emily]

Really good.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm. Yeah, this is. You're a great storyteller. Thank you.

[Emily]

Danny doesn't think so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. And how would Danny say that?

[Emily]

How would Danny say he didn't think it was a good storyteller?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Because you're so good at characters.

[Emily]

He would say,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

jordan, you gotta make this.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow, that was really good. I feel like. I really feel like I understand. Yeah.

[Emily]

So when I walked into the home, the owner said, never mind the dog. Poop. The dog made a mess. I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Never mind it.

[Nicole Parker]

So what do we.

[Emily]

And I said, that's all right. No, no, no. Just a pile. So it had a very strong odor.

[Nicole Parker]

Just a pile.

[Emily]

It had a very strong ozer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's.

[Emily]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Huh.

[Emily]

So that was number three.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

Number four. They were having a dinner party.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, dear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This sounds like another poppin.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes,

[Emily]

definitely a poppin.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

I saw a lot of cars in the driveway. I said, what the heck?

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. That's.

[Emily]

What the heck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You saw a lot of cars in the driveway. He said, what the heck?

[Emily]

What the heck? I said, I'm still not sure about this house, you know?

[Nicole Parker]

Now what? I have to talk. So I said, I wanted to pause. I have to talk about the thought process. The thought. The thought between the third and the fourth because. Did you want to come back and follow up that there was no more poop? Because that's what I would have done. I've been like, I want to make sure this isn't a normal thing, because otherwise there will be probably a mess I'm left with if I purchase this house.

[Emily]

Oh, it's funny. I forgot about the poop.

[Nicole Parker]

You did?

[Emily]

Yeah. I saw the cars that parked in the drive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I never forget about that.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. She saw the car. She was excited about the party. So what happened?

[Emily]

They were. Have. They made a turkey for everybody.

[Nicole Parker]

For everybody.

[Emily]

It was classic turkey dinner, the third Thursday in November.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, so it's Thanksgiving.

[Nicole Parker]

I was imagining everyone got their own personal turkey.

[Emily]

So there was a smell of, you know, turkey, stuffing things in the air.

[Doug]

This is a good idea, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm trying to think now of the.

[Nicole Parker]

Who's that?

[Emily]

What was that?

[Nicole Parker]

Emily?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't be scared, Emily.

[Nicole Parker]

That's my husband, Doug. He's our engineer. He's in a different room. Say hi, Doug.

[Doug]

Hi.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Emily]

Oh, my gosh. I was startled. See, I just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We should have warned you.

[Emily]

Something I do want to say is, not only are there smells that come with the house, which I can't pinpoint now, I'd love to describe them to you. You know, at some point when we get through my visit, I want you to. There's also noises and visions.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Visions.

[Nicole Parker]

Visions.

[Emily]

And just different things that I see.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, Now.

[Emily]

And smell and hear. So the fifth time I went to the house, this was more of. I stuck my head in the window. So I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say it was a pop in.

[Nicole Parker]

It was a stick in.

[Emily]

It was a stick in. I stuck my head through the window. I stuck my head through the window, took a peek around, and that time there had been a storm. You remember the big storm?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anyone? Yes, absolutely.

[Emily]

So you remember the big storm?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The house we're only just now recovering.

[Emily]

The house was flooded.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Emily]

With mud.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Emily]

Smelled of mud. Smelled of mud. Smelled of mud.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

Nothing. Nothing.

[Nicole Parker]

Gone from cookies to dog poop to mud.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just want to take a pause here at this moment and say I'm very torn between continuing with the remaining visits, which we're still not in double digits yet.

[Nicole Parker]

Nope. We really have to keep going and

[Paul F. Tompkins]

fast forwarding to the visions and sounds

[Nicole Parker]

so much to cover.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Emily]

Okay. You know what?

[Nicole Parker]

Is there, like, a part where you can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Should we make it a dealer's?

[Nicole Parker]

I did five.

[Emily]

Hey, how about I do this?

[Nicole Parker]

Because if they were the same, you

[Emily]

yell out a number, I tell you the smell, and then we're done.

[Doug]

Love it.

[Emily]

We can get through. We can walk through 11. Film developer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow, that's a strong smell.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, we're at the smell now. Yeah, that was at visit number nine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did you think?

[Nicole Parker]

I thought you said 11. I thought you was 11. Sorry.

[Emily]

Any number.

[Nicole Parker]

Just I had missed the part that she was gonna do the smell. I thought you were gonna do skip to another number and then also tell us a smell from another number. That's what I thought was happening. I thought two different things were happening.

[Emily]

I can do whatever you guys are describing.

[Nicole Parker]

A film developer being an the house. That's what I thought.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I want.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm gonna go 18 honest answers. I can go. Oh, Doug wants to skip to the end.

[Doug]

I want to know how it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you know what? Because this. This is because you decided to buy the house.

[Emily]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Let's find out what made you decide to buy it.

[Emily]

Fabuloso.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that?

[Emily]

It's a lavender floor cleaner. Back to lavender.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Back to lavender.

[Nicole Parker]

And they had wiped. Were they out of the house at this point? Point.

[Emily]

It was an open house, I think.

[Nicole Parker]

This wasn't a pop in? A stick in?

[Emily]

No, not a pop in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What made it hazy in your recollection?

[Emily]

Hazy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The fact that it was. It may or may not have been an open house. Why? Why is that blurry?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, Good question.

[Emily]

The door was open. Okay. No one was there.

[Nicole Parker]

Huh.

[Emily]

There weren't any of those little sandwich boards that say open house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. But the door was open. Open.

[Emily]

The door was open.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So that makes it an open house.

[Emily]

Yes, I see. Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In the most literal sense.

[Emily]

Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Emily]

See, you know, and you walked in

[Nicole Parker]

and that's what you smelled.

[Emily]

Fabuloso. And I said, this is it, honey. This is it.

[Nicole Parker]

So, okay. And he, I'm assuming, made only just the minimal sound that he makes and didn't. Didn't really care one way or the other.

[Emily]

He said, eh.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Wow. How long have you two been married?

[Emily]

18 years. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

18. Isn't that crazy?

[Emily]

Oh, my gosh. I just thought of something. 18 years, 18 smells, 18 visits.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, what do you think it means.

[Emily]

I don't know. That's why I'm here, Joe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Understood. We don't expect you to have all the answers.

[Emily]

I'm begging for help. I'm begging for help.

[Nicole Parker]

I've been very efficient. And we've gotten to the visit, so we've gotten to the end. How long after you move in do you notice a smell?

[Emily]

Immediately, right after the closing. We signed the paper, they handed the keys over. The inspections were done. Wasn't even mentioned.

[Nicole Parker]

Didn't mention a smell.

[Emily]

Not at all. Now, as soon as I walked in, I go, ew, what is that? Danny, do you smell that? Do you smell anything?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole Parker]

What does Danny do for a living?

[Emily]

He's a contractor.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, that's okay. That's fine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I thought there was gonna be more.

[Nicole Parker]

I think she wished there was more.

[Emily]

He doesn't really tell me what that is.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, that's a contract. It sounds like he's very. He's not forthcoming with any information for

[Emily]

her, which is, I thought if he's a contractor, he's a builder, he could fix anything, whatever the smell is, you know? But he said he's not that kind of contractor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Emily]

So I don't know, maybe he writes up contracts.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, have you tried to press him for details? And what's the response?

[Nicole Parker]

Have you ever been to an office party or something?

[Emily]

The response has always been,

[Nicole Parker]

can he. Noises, can he say words? He's.

[Emily]

I hear him on the phone talking to other. Other people.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, what is that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, and he also did say, I'm not that kind of contractor.

[Emily]

And he did.

[Nicole Parker]

I've been focusing on the sounds.

[Emily]

Well, he didn't exactly say to me, I'm not that kind of contractor when I introduced him to our realtor, Joan,

[Paul F. Tompkins]

you don't have to give me one of those looks.

[Nicole Parker]

Joan gave me one of those tight

[Paul F. Tompkins]

smiles and a little Kurt nod.

[Emily]

Whenever I introduce him, I say, you know, this is my husband, Danny Van Elder. He is a contractor.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

And then, you know, usually they say, oh, do you do home improvement? And he just says, not that kind of contractor. And then they say, oh, he won't tell anybody, buddy. No, he just says, not that kind of contractor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People. There must be follow up questions. People must say, that's just only what kind of contractor. I. I would, absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you, you'd. Yeah, absolutely. You get it out of him.

[Emily]

So the 12th time I went to the house, it smelled like when someone peels out.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, like birch rubber.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Interesting.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's Terrible. I hate that smell. That's one of my least favorites.

[Emily]

I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I have a fondness for that smell. Of course. Because I had the nitro burning funny car for so many years.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, you do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You do. So I do kind of miss it. Oh, dear.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I just wouldn't want it in. So I'm sorry. This was one of the times you visited, or.

[Emily]

That was one of the times I visited. I didn't know if we were working that back in.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, here's what's interesting to me. You've been able to describe. That was great. You've been able to describe what all these different smells were.

[Emily]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

But now all of a sudden, you say you tangible smells. Okay, so here's the. Here's the moment we've all been waiting for. Could you at least try to describe.

[Emily]

I. I will try. I couldn't even do it. I'll try. I'll try.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll try. I mean, there has to be some way.

[Emily]

Okay. Do you know the smell when a mouse dies in a wall?

[Nicole Parker]

Unfortunately, yes.

[Emily]

It's a little like that. A little like that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

Not totally like that.

[Nicole Parker]

And then. Is there something else in there? Is there a note of something else?

[Emily]

Yes, there are notes. There are notes, Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

This is good.

[Emily]

This is good. Notes.

[Nicole Parker]

Good.

[Emily]

Yes, they're notes. Okay, so there's that smell, but then there is like a faint smell of Drakkar Noir. Are you familiar?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, he is from back in the day, if memory serves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Emily]

So it does have that kind of smell. I love that smell. Kind of nostalgic, but also smells like something rotting.

[Nicole Parker]

So some clubbing mice came home one night.

[Emily]

So. But then that's not all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But then something else rotting in addition to the.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, on top of it. Like an egg.

[Emily]

Well, it's like if sewer gases were being released in your home.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Emily]

So sewer gases. So not like poop and not like dog poop.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Understood?

[Emily]

Like the essence of the sewer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely right.

[Emily]

So then there's that. There's that.

[Doug]

Any lavender?

[Emily]

And then sometimes that. Not a lick. And boy, I wish.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, yeah, it's your favorite.

[Emily]

Boy, I wish.

[Nicole Parker]

I bet.

[Emily]

So then that fades, and then I start to get like. Like a Hawaiian Punch smell.

[Nicole Parker]

Weird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, so these smells sort of. They go in waves.

[Nicole Parker]

They're like an everlasting gobstopper. Or the meal that Violet Beauregard eats. She has five different O. Three different courses in one. That's a good gumball.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have a third Willy Wonka reference.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is there a third Willy Wonka reference or is it just stop at 2?

[Nicole Parker]

I have more.

[Emily]

A bad egg smells like a bad egg too.

[Nicole Parker]

The nuts, the squirrels.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here we go. The nuts and the squirrels.

[Emily]

That could be.

[Nicole Parker]

So here's.

[Emily]

This is I and I'm chasing the smell around. You know, I'm chase. It doesn't smell at all. I'm chase. It doesn't smell in the bedrooms, as I said in my post.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, right.

[Emily]

I'm chasing it around the room. I. It feels like it's moving quickly behind the walls.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you do. Do you work yourself?

[Emily]

Do I work?

[Nicole Parker]

Do you get out of the house?

[Emily]

I get out of the house. But I wouldn't say anyone one pays me to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I was wondering why she seems so confused at that question. Do I work? But then the way she described that. Yeah, I get it now.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So have you ever had a job?

[Emily]

Well, I've had responsibilities.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. That's not what I asked them.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Okay. You have children?

[Emily]

Yeah. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. And how many? How many children do you have?

[Nicole Parker]

Let's say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no, I couldn't help it.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

Three.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, wow. Three. Goodness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Three kids.

[Nicole Parker]

No, but what are their ages? Are you empty nesters? Oh, yeah. Names and ages first.

[Emily]

No, we're not empty nesters. We. This was my dream home.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no. Yes.

[Emily]

So I have Clive, who's two.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Clive.

[Nicole Parker]

Baby Clive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'd nickname him Vevey.

[Emily]

Then I have Fonda, who's 12. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

It's Fonda. Boy or girl?

[Emily]

Boy.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

Like, you know, named after Jane Fonda.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

You're a boy named after Jane Fonda, you know. Yeah, she was the only. The most notable one from her family. Family.

[Emily]

And then I have a daughter who's 34 and her name is Bernice.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, 34 to 2 is a wide gap. Was this all with Danny, Emily?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How old?

[Emily]

No, Bernice is from my.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How old is

[Nicole Parker]

old is who? I think you said 13, maybe 12.

[Doug]

12.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Doug]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you got 2.

[Nicole Parker]

34.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And I'm sorry, what were you gonna say? You had Bernice with who?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was Bernice excited to get a baby brother?

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. She's. We were asking her many questions. That's a good question. But also. So you were in the middle of answering, I think, about who Bernice's father is.

[Emily]

Oh, yes. Bernice's father is my ex husband.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. All right. Is he still in the picture or is he just never come around?

[Emily]

He just never comes around.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, all right.

[Emily]

It's funny you put it that way.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, he just never comes around. It happens. I didn't mean to.

[Emily]

He never came around. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is he still in Bernice's life?

[Emily]

Not that I know of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Emily]

But she wouldn't tell me anyway.

[Nicole Parker]

And she still lives with you?

[Emily]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, there's so much more going on here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's got a terrible life.

[Emily]

Well, she does live with me. She's taken over the basement.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And she smell.

[Nicole Parker]

The smell?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, good question.

[Emily]

She won't tell me.

[Nicole Parker]

Smell boy, no one tells you anything. What about Fonda?

[Emily]

Fonda won't tell me if he smells it or not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You asked Fonda, and Fonda will not respond?

[Emily]

No. Fonda won't respond either. Sometimes I wonder, am I a ghost? Well, I mean, am I the ghost?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh. So not only. He doesn't even acknowledge that you asked the question?

[Emily]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But. But Danny, your husband.

[Emily]

These grunts may be coincidentally.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, like a sixth sense.

[Nicole Parker]

I. I'm. Well, you know what's interesting is.

[Emily]

But you see me.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, we can see you. What I'm wondering is, and it's just maybe just the way that she's described maybe. You know what? I'm gonna ask one more question. I'm gonna reserve this opinion for later.

[Emily]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Can. Can we hear about some of the noises?

[Emily]

Yes. Oh, I love.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I forgot about the noises.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Emily]

I love.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, you love the question.

[Emily]

I love.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Emily]

Okay. So sometimes the noise is like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, that's a scream, right? I would have. I would have said, I hear screams sometimes, so that's.

[Nicole Parker]

I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

I wanted to hear it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no. I, I'm. I don't mean I, I, I, I said I. I guess, like, when I. When I think of noises, I think of screams as their own category.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I see. Yes, I do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would have said screams and noises. If there are noises that aren't okay.

[Emily]

I'm such an idiot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's me. That's on me.

[Doug]

And I apologize

[Nicole Parker]

to me. You did nothing wrong.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My brain is fine, but you did nothing wrong, and I apologize.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so what's it. What's a different noise? Scary.

[Emily]

Scary. Scary. Scary.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hate to ask this question.

[Nicole Parker]

I know you do, Bert.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you. Are you hearing scurrying or are you hearing the word scurry? Scurry.

[Emily]

Well, it's both.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow. It's.

[Emily]

I hear scurry.

[Nicole Parker]

That's more upsetting.

[Emily]

I hear scurry. Scurry. And then I hear, like. Oh, like actual little feet scurrying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like someone announcing that they're going to scream.

[Emily]

Or they're being commanded to scurry. I don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so now I officially have to ask. Can you.

[Emily]

Can we go.

[Nicole Parker]

Can we walk it back to the dinner party poppin. Can you tell me a little bit more about that? What was the nature of the people there? Did they interact with you? Did they talk to you also?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was Thanksgiving.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It was Thanksgiving. Yes. Right.

[Emily]

They seemed to all be related, and they were kind of wondering why I was there.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you know what Thanksgiving is? The holiday? Are you familiar?

[Nicole Parker]

I suppose we should ask that question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, it's a national holiday.

[Emily]

A national.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Been an official national holiday since the forties.

[Emily]

A national holiday.

[Nicole Parker]

Emily, have your. Has your family never celebrated, like, a holiday in, think, in the. In November?

[Emily]

No, but in the 1940s, it was

[Paul F. Tompkins]

established as a national holiday. In the 1940s.

[Emily]

Oh, well, that's not that long ago, I guess.

[Nicole Parker]

Was that in question? Have you never had Thanksgiving?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're saying it's recent enough that not

[Nicole Parker]

everybody's aware I'm not up on things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Understood.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Like national holidays here. Well, I don't know.

[Emily]

How do you get your husband to speak to you?

[Nicole Parker]

What do you do?

[Emily]

Are you pleasant? I'm not, apparently.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, Emily, I'll tell you what. I'll be very honest and say I'm not always pleasant. And yet my husband still speaks to me. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Babe just said hi.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Doug]

What was that?

[Nicole Parker]

Nothing. Babe, have you been listening this entire time? Are you just watching, like, the visuals of our talking, and then when it stops, you're gonna jump in?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're just looking at the waveforms.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, sorry.

[Doug]

This Big John is just.

[Nicole Parker]

It's really got you. You're in a Big John loop.

[Emily]

Wait a minute.

[Doug]

Wait a minute.

[Emily]

Could you. Could I hear a little bit more of that?

[Doug]

Oh, yeah, but you're not going to hear it properly.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think she cares about that.

[Doug]

I don't have the best Big John machine. That's like $9 million.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The best big John machine.

[Emily]

That's. That's part of the. The sound I hear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Emily]

I hear that sound, too.

[Nicole Parker]

You hear Big John in the house. Big John.

[Emily]

Big John.

[Doug]

Wait.

[Nicole Parker]

Terrifying.

[Doug]

With the scurry. Scurry.

[Emily]

With the scurry. Scurry and the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's all layered on top of each other.

[Emily]

It comes and goes and different things fade in and fade out.

[Nicole Parker]

Help.

[Emily]

Who do I call?

[Nicole Parker]

That's why I have to. I have two questions for you. One, who was your realtor?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great question, Joan.

[Emily]

Oh, I feel like Don't.

[Nicole Parker]

Obviously I'm going to know who it is, just so don't worry about it. Just say it without.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a very small community judgment.

[Emily]

Betty Kaiserhoff.

[Nicole Parker]

I knew it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

I knew.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't know she sold a license.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, she's not supposed to.

[Emily]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

What.

[Emily]

What is this?

[Nicole Parker]

Huh?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She sold our city hall.

[Emily]

She sold your city hall.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She sold our city hall to the. To New Barn, the next neighborhood over. And that seems unethical.

[Nicole Parker]

That's the communist party of newborn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Emily]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

And we can't get him out? No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They said this belongs to the people.

[Emily]

I, I. If I had known that he gave

[Nicole Parker]

us the greatest deal.

[Emily]

I didn't know that. This is news to me.

[Nicole Parker]

She tried to blacklist all the other realtors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Ironic indeed.

[Emily]

What does that mean?

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, she's not up on her. That was in the 60s, so that's going to be really recent on the 50s.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The 50s, I guess not that reason.

[Doug]

But

[Nicole Parker]

here's the thing. Betty's no good. She also doesn't do her research on a property, as you can tell. And she also sells properties that shouldn't be sold. And I. I swear to you, this sounds. And I hate getting. I'm usually not like this because, you know, I don't like to talk about stuff like this, but this sounds like a haunted house to me. I think that this house. And you're supposed to disclose if a house is cursed. You are supposed to disclose that it's in the realtor law. Okay, well, it's an oath.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have seen you avoid saying that so many times. You've made so many excuses for houses.

[Nicole Parker]

Get creative. Say this house is on the spectrum.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This house is neurospicy.

[Emily]

Well, now I'm getting answers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You feel like you're getting answers?

[Emily]

Now I'm getting answers. I feel like I'm being listened to and I'm getting answers.

[Doug]

So you think a haunting is causing smells?

[Nicole Parker]

I absolutely can. It can cause the. It can listen like. And I don't like to talk about this stuff because cursed and haunted are two different things.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very true.

[Nicole Parker]

Very, very true. What am I can that can involve. We don't know. We're trying to help you, okay? We're trying to let.

[Emily]

What am I?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emily?

[Emily]

What am I?

[Nicole Parker]

She's just wandering around my kitchen now. She's just wandering around with her head up. Just. Just her arms out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's crying out to God, what am I?

[Nicole Parker]

Emily. Emily, come back and sit down. Come back and sit down. Okay. You're Fine. Okay. You're fine. Here, have a glass of water. Okay. Yeah. Water.

[Emily]

Oh, it doesn't have a taste.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's not supposed to.

[Emily]

Oh, it's not supposed to.

[Nicole Parker]

What does your water at your home taste like?

[Emily]

Well, again, difficult to destroy. You know, when ice has been in a freezer for too long and absorbed all the other.

[Nicole Parker]

I hate that smell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Terrible.

[Emily]

Yes, it tastes like that.

[Nicole Parker]

But also, that could just be your pipes.

[Emily]

You know when you have a window unit air conditioner, not central air. And then sometimes it freezes over and you open it up and there's dripping coming out, but then you realize that's mold. Yeah, a little bit of that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Is there anything worse than walking in New York City and you happen to look up and one of those drops comes down and hits you right in the face? Prepare for death.

[Emily]

I think it's good luck.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a wonderful perspective.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I remember one time being on a subway, and I saw someone holding onto the pole, and then they let go of the pole and wiped out.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That person will die soon.

[Nicole Parker]

That person will die.

[Emily]

What am I?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

What are you? I am. You are a wonderful, sweet lady who I don't believe is being listened to by her family. But I also think you're living in a house that is not hospitable. I think it's hospice.

[Emily]

Hostel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. You are a child of the universe.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the rest of the desiderata.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know what that means.

[Emily]

Is it literati?

[Nicole Parker]

No, no.

[Emily]

Paparazzi.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not paparazzi.

[Nicole Parker]

Illuminati.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not Illuminati.

[Emily]

You think it's under warranty?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The house.

[Emily]

Yes. We paid for the home warranty. We bought a home warranty. Warranty.

[Nicole Parker]

A warranty warranty. Problem.

[Emily]

W, D. The letter N. Dash T.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That sounds so fake.

[Nicole Parker]

So fake. That's Betty. That's got Betty. Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no.

[Emily]

Oh, I did a bad thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did she make you. You didn't do a bad thing.

[Emily]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you make you sign it with your blood?

[Emily]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

That's Betty. This is. This is horrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did she ever have.

[Emily]

Should I not have?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, you should never sign anything with your own blood.

[Nicole Parker]

Definitely don't. And in case anyone's listening at home, I'd say that goes for anybody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, absolutely. This is advice for everyone.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't sign things in your own blood.

[Emily]

So would you say I'm cursed or haunted?

[Nicole Parker]

I don't think anything's wrong with you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Are you hearing. Hearing me, babe? That's not Helping duck.

[Doug]

I don't think there's other categories.

[Nicole Parker]

You're right.

[Emily]

Do you want to know what I see?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, the visions.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, the vision.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I forgot about the visions.

[Nicole Parker]

Gosh. Oh. I don't know if I'm ready for the visions. Okay, what were some of the visions?

[Emily]

Okay, some of the visions are. It's a baby.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. Nope.

[Emily]

But it has the face of an old man.

[Nicole Parker]

No, no.

[Emily]

But the body of a baby.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is. It's cursed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's not clogged.

[Doug]

Benjamin Button.

[Emily]

It's not. My dear little Clyde.

[Nicole Parker]

Dear sweet Clive.

[Emily]

So the baby, it walks up the

[Nicole Parker]

wall like perpendicular train spotting style.

[Emily]

Did you ever see when Billie Eilish was on snl and I guess it was a box, but it looked like she was walking on the side?

[Nicole Parker]

I saw that. Yes.

[Emily]

No, it's like that. It seems like the whole room's twisting.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, this is. I mean, I feel like this sounds textbook at this point.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This sounds like a haunting.

[Nicole Parker]

You're in a haunted house.

[Emily]

But sometimes it's a bunch of monarch butterflies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that's pleasant.

[Nicole Parker]

They've got a sense of humor, I guess.

[Emily]

But then they all engulf me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Emily]

And then I feel like I'm in a cocoon.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Can I.

[Emily]

So I guess there are feels, too.

[Nicole Parker]

There's feels? Emily, are the. Is the rest of the family ever present during these moments?

[Emily]

No. Everybody's off doing their own thing.

[Nicole Parker]

Including Clive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then you know what?

[Nicole Parker]

Wait, including Clyde.

[Emily]

Lifecare.

[Nicole Parker]

He said daycare.

[Emily]

He's at Baby music.

[Nicole Parker]

He said Baby Music.

[Emily]

But I don't go. They said I'm not allowed. I can't be there anymore.

[Nicole Parker]

Why would they say anymore? What? Why?

[Emily]

I don't know what I. Oh, they

[Nicole Parker]

must give you a reason. I don't know. You're his. You're his. You're his mother.

[Emily]

They said they have the right to refuse service to anyone. Like an airplane.

[Nicole Parker]

Why can't I understand? They're not saying that they'd refuse service to an airplane. But she's saying that much like on an airplane, they can refuse you that service if you are.

[Doug]

I thought you meant like the movie Airplane.

[Emily]

We're a private company and we have the right to refuse you service.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we use Airplane as the example for this.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which I usually see it outside of like a 7 11.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I understand. I agree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are we talking about once you're on the airplane and then flight attendant can say, you know what? No, I'm not going to get you.

[Emily]

Sometimes when I get kicked off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, Ginger. Ale for you. I have the right.

[Emily]

It's usually when I get kicked off the plane and I say, what have I done? What have I done? Kicked off the plane?

[Doug]

Those shoes.

[Emily]

Usually I do have shoes on, but sometimes. And this is not my fault, okay. You know. You know, sometimes I get lulled to sleep. You know, you're there, and you're just kind of waiting for everyone to get on, and you hear kind of the noise and the drum of the airplane. And I kind of, you know, doze off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So noisy.

[Nicole Parker]

The majestic drum of the airplane.

[Emily]

And then sometimes I startle my. I startle away.

[Doug]

Oh, no.

[Emily]

And scream, we're all gonna die.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah. You can't.

[Emily]

We're all gonna die.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That is. That is. Emily, that is something you're not. You're not allowed to do that.

[Nicole Parker]

You know what? I am gonna have to say that one's on you. I do think that one's on the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you're not.

[Nicole Parker]

You can't. You definitely can't do that.

[Emily]

But I have a right. I bought a ticket. Don't I have a right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Emily]

Well, who refunds the ticket then?

[Nicole Parker]

I never get refunds wandering around the kitchen. Who am I?

[Emily]

What am I?

[Nicole Parker]

Right here?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was hoping I wasn't gonna turn on the guest this time, but.

[Nicole Parker]

I know. I know. On our very first episode. Okay, Emily, come on back to the table. Please go into this room. That's the bathroom.

[Emily]

Hello?

[Nicole Parker]

You're screaming into a trash can.

[Emily]

Who's in there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Escrow. All right, Emily, I'm gonna say I don't think the house is haunted. I think you are cursed. I also think you can't be doing that on airplanes. That's wrong.

[Emily]

I don't mean to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know, but you have to do something about that.

[Nicole Parker]

I. I think.

[Emily]

What am I supposed to do? Not fall asleep. Impossible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, this is like a BAFTA question.

[Nicole Parker]

What's the BAFTA question?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's not get into it, okay,

[Nicole Parker]

Emily? Oh, I. I really feel for you. I think you're a sweet lady. I do think you're. I wish I could meet any one of your family members of. Get a sense of actually what's going on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. Or if they exist.

[Nicole Parker]

Or if they exist. I have questioned that.

[Emily]

I'm getting filled with dread.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Emily]

Right now.

[Nicole Parker]

Please don't.

[Emily]

I'm being filled with dread.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Emily]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no.

[Emily]

She's.

[Nicole Parker]

Her head is. Her head's moving really, really fast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Help me.

[Nicole Parker]

Like, she's in fast forward. Oh, my God.

[Emily]

No shot.

[Nicole Parker]

She has the head of an old man. No, not these sounds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not a didgeridoo sound.

[Doug]

Maybe you should help her.

[Nicole Parker]

What do you suggest I do?

[Doug]

Help her?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are you supposed to do? You guys are just talking about play, big jump play.

[Doug]

But it's not going to sound that good because. Hold on.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, turn it up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh,

[Emily]

yeah, that's nice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are we talking to Danny right now?

[Emily]

You got Danny. Oh, wow. This is Danny. This is this bedroom.

[Nicole Parker]

We're traversing past a point we never have burnt on this podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This has never happened before, but I think that.

[Emily]

Hey.

[Nicole Parker]

Hi, Danny.

[Emily]

How's it going?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey.

[Emily]

You guys seen my wife around?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, we haven't.

[Nicole Parker]

Can you tell us about your wife?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I actually. What do you do for a living, Danny?

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you.

[Emily]

Contractor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And what kind of.

[Emily]

Not that kind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't say what kind. What kind of contractor.

[Doug]

What kind of contractor are you?

[Nicole Parker]

He was right about that. Yeah, because you're the same person, but not to them. They're different.

[Emily]

How much contracting do you do? That's an old contractor joke.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't get it. But what kind of contracting do you do? I love it.

[Emily]

I do contract.

[Nicole Parker]

Doug loves to, like.

[Emily]

I'm contracted by people. People contract me and they pay me to do new contracting.

[Nicole Parker]

We're not. We're not gonna get anywhere. Okay.

[Emily]

Hey, great town. Love living here. Beautiful, beautiful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is Clive in there?

[Nicole Parker]

I think you have to play.

[Emily]

My son Clive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, your son Clive.

[Emily]

My son Clive might be at music.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, gosh. Now there's like rippling on her skin. Clive, is that you? Clive isn't talking yet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, that was a bad choice.

[Nicole Parker]

Sometimes there's some 2 year olds have some language. There we go. That's right. He wants up because the chair is so low.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bernice.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, let's go to Bernice. Bernice, can we please? Baby, you gotta play. What the are you doing in my basement? 34 year old who talks like that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bernice, grow up.

[Emily]

How dare you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Bernice, your mother, Emily is in trouble.

[Nicole Parker]

Indeed, really in trouble. We need to help her. We want to help her. And you love her, right?

[Emily]

Oh, God, I guess. Or whatever. What do you want? I'm busy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can we. We need to talk for a second.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. It just occurred to me, we don't know that Emily is the main personality. Do you know what I mean?

[Nicole Parker]

I also don't think she has a disorder. I think she's. I think some. I think there's like something inside of her. I think this is magic. I think this is dark magic. Magic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But we don't know.

[Nicole Parker]

Is Emily the one.

[Emily]

What am I?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is Emily the one being possessed? Or. Or could it be Bernice? Or could it be.

[Nicole Parker]

I do. Cuz she came to us as Emily, and I feel like that's her truest form. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emily, Are you. Are you there? Are you back?

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Emily]

My mom's not here.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh. Are you Fonda? Is this Fonda we're talking? Oh, it's still Bernice.

[Emily]

Oh, my gosh.

[Nicole Parker]

We're all gonna die. Oh, no. Emily.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Emily, not on a plane.

[Emily]

Emily, is that you?

[Nicole Parker]

Is that you?

[Emily]

Oh, my gosh. I passed out for a second. I felt like I was on a plane or something.

[Nicole Parker]

You didn't. What you actually did was you were just almost like possessed by the members of your family.

[Emily]

What?

[Nicole Parker]

Who do I call for that? I told you so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who do you. What?

[Emily]

Who do I. For that?

[Nicole Parker]

Help, please.

[Emily]

I mean, we actually do have.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, we have Possessor's Row, and.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's true.

[Nicole Parker]

And it's just that the problem is they all take a long vacation. They all go to Sicily for.

[Emily]

Have you been. You really must go for the horse.

[Nicole Parker]

For the horse?

[Doug]

Yeah, they eat horse over there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They make a trip once a year, take three weeks to go to Sicily and eat horse.

[Emily]

It tastes like. Tastes like deer.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, how do you do it?

[Doug]

Horse tastes like deer.

[Emily]

Horse tastes like deer.

[Nicole Parker]

See, all of this is deer taste

[Emily]

like deer, tastes like donkey.

[Nicole Parker]

I feel like we could be going on forever. Once they come back in two weeks, I would go down there and I would just find there's about four of them. They're all pretty much the same.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But here's the thing. It is called Possessor's Row. Half of them are exorcists, Half of them are people who will try to possess you.

[Nicole Parker]

That's right. So you have to be careful.

[Emily]

Well, I'm fine with that because I'm not possessed. That's fine.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, just go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just go cross it.

[Nicole Parker]

I think. I think it's just. You know what? It's more of just a ruling it out kind of thing. Okay.

[Emily]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Just rule it out.

[Emily]

Rule it out.

[Nicole Parker]

Let's just do that.

[Emily]

Yeah. I mean, or I could have them come over and tell me what smell they smell.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know that you would invite them into your home. It sounds like it's already pretty crowded in there, so I think the more you stay outside of your home, the better.

[Emily]

And I wish I met you sooner, Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that's very kind. I'm glad that you were here and glad that you came.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can go myself.

[Nicole Parker]

We wish you. It's not about us. It's about Emily. Right now, we can't take anything she says personally. I mean, especially her, because, you know, there's a lot going on in there. Okay. Well, Emily, we wish you best of luck.

[Emily]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

I really hope that you get the help you need because I think you deserve to be free of a lot of things going on in your mind.

[Emily]

Thank God for you, Joan. Thank God for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If I could. If I can make a recommendation. Talk to Tim Coughlin. He's a former priest. He doesn't necessarily believe in God anymore. In fact, he's very angry about it, but top notch Exorcist.

[Emily]

What do you think, Joan? Should I listen?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, they call him the Showman Exorcist. You know, he does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's the greatest Showman Exorcist.

[Emily]

Oh, have you seen that movie?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which movie? The Show. Great.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Emily]

With you both.

[Nicole Parker]

I didn't know they made a Greatest Showman Exorcist, but I bet that would be entertaining. And that's kind of what he is like. I think you'd like him. I think you'd like him. If you like me, you'll like him because I'm an entertainer, too.

[Emily]

I like you.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm so glad that you do. All right. Do you? I mean, I'd say play us out, Doug, but I'm afraid of what would happen. So.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

[Nicole Parker]

I think we'll just say goodbye to you here now.

[Emily]

Okay, Emily.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you. I'm sorry we couldn't be more help in immediate, but.

[Emily]

Oh, Joan helped a lot.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. And so did Burn. All right. We will be back soon when the neighborhood Listen returns.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, this is Tracy. I got wine and beer corks, $10, sort of types and sizes. 80 plus count. Yeah. Now you might be saying $10, isn't that a lot for just a bunch of corks? If you need corks, I bet this is a great price. If you don't need corks, yeah, seems like a lot of money. But look at the picture. It's a bunch of corks. This is a lot of corks. Different sizes. And I know all you cork freaks out there. This is a bargain for you, I bet. I don't know why people need corkscrew. I don't know why I have 80 of them plus. But I. I do know I don't want them here anymore. And I know there's some sick corkos out there who are like 80 corks. Yum. Yum, yum. Their mouth is watering, their eyes are watering, their nose is running. Come get your corks, little cork pigs, And welcome back to the neighborhood.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, now that. What a way to kick off season. Sven.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was chilling.

[Nicole Parker]

It was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can we get into this? Are we just naming the seasons?

[Nicole Parker]

No, we're not. It doesn't have to be. Nope. I just had to say something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, because I realized even though it was my suggestion, I realized it's just because it rhymes with 10, there's no.

[Nicole Parker]

I just think that's fun. What's wrong with. What's wrong. Wrong with that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what?

[Doug]

Maybe it should be a deeper connection.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, what would you suggest, babe?

[Doug]

Well, I. I did suggest Ben, but I know we heard.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, and why. Why is that a deeper connection? Doug?

[Doug]

Let's hear it. Ben. I'm not suggesting it's a deeper connection, but I'm saying maybe we'll find it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The two of us need. Look, no more.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen to you. Listen to you. Could someone explain that movie to me? It's just a rat named Ben. Or is it about a boy named Ben with a rat friend?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. It's a great question. I think the rat's name is Ben. The boy's name is Willard.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Did you ever see it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I never saw it.

[Doug]

Never saw that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They made a remake. Never saw that either.

[Nicole Parker]

A remake?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Good lord. All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know, there were two. There was Ben and there was Willard. Two separate movies. Oh. And I think was the first one Willard. And that's where the song Ben comes from.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't know. But we're still trying to be movie podcast, I guess. Well, we could watch Ben. Watch a lot of Ben.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's just. Let's just say this. We don't have to apologize anymore.

[Nicole Parker]

We're humans. We don't have to qualify.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're allowed to talk about them.

[Nicole Parker]

We're allowed to talk about anything we want to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anything we want to.

[Nicole Parker]

Anything.

[Doug]

Speaking of that, I think. I think people should be allowed to say we're all gonna die.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, Doug. Why?

[Nicole Parker]

Why?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because we are.

[Doug]

It's just.

[Nicole Parker]

It's just true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

Not in a. Sit. You can say philosophically at, like a dinner party. Well, we're all going to die. Not on a plane where people are already sometimes scared.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, why is that? Why is that different?

[Doug]

Well, dinner. That seems like it might spoil someone's dinner.

[Nicole Parker]

What?

[Doug]

I mean, someone's on a plane, are

[Nicole Parker]

around talking about something philosophical, and that's when you discuss life and death. Not on A plane.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, you're being very un.

[Nicole Parker]

Fire. You never. You never yell fire in a building that. No one does that. You just don't do that.

[Emily]

There's.

[Nicole Parker]

Life is hard enough.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do want to get that.

[Doug]

I think about it all the time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just want to see what happens. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. We've been. We've been. It's been instilled in us that that's the worst possible thing you could do is yell fire in a crowded, you know, theater or something. I want to see what actually would happen if you did that.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, it's my life. It's my boys. Slim yelled fire. That was his first word. Clam. You know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Clam baked. Slim.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

The first word was fire. No, it was in a hospital.

[Doug]

Yeah. You did want to do a natural birth in the theater.

[Nicole Parker]

I did. I did. I had said I wanted to do it because I was doing Grapes of Wrath at the time, and Rosa Sharon, you know, has a baby.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And I wanted to. I was like, oh, can't he just come right during the time that I'm actually supposed to give birth? And I tried to time it out, but it didn't work.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And now that's why they have that. They built like a sort of cement waiting pool that's in the stage still.

[Nicole Parker]

It's still there. My birthing pool is still there.

[Doug]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And they have to make it work for every show it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To justify it. Lot of shows have a wishing well.

[Nicole Parker]

It was hard when they did 12 Angry Men. It was hard. Didn't really make any sense. I think they tried to turn it into like a prison cell or something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. I think I remember the judge saying, apologies for the jury room. They've installed a frog pond.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why. I mean, you could just build over it. I don't know. Be more creative.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A cover over it.

[Nicole Parker]

Put a cover over it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know what I mean? It's not that hard.

[Nicole Parker]

Anyway.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stop filling with water.

[Nicole Parker]

Definitely. I don't know why no one told him to do that. It could just be empty.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It could just be empty. All right, well, we have time for one more post. And Joan, I understand you have one.

[Nicole Parker]

I do have one now. Boy, this community of ours, you know, sometimes I just don't. Sometimes I just don't understand this. This person. Person is confusing to me. This is from Deanna, and she says, I'm looking to hire a new hard working assistant to help me in support of my work. I'm a busy person and my current assistant just gave birth a week ago and hence I will be needing some. 1. Nope, nope. I added that I will be needing some. Who can help me in posting? House for rental and safe. Sorry. House for rental and sale or Turbo tenant. No work experience needed. Age. Doesn't capital M matter? And it doesn't affect your current job in any way. The offer is 500 weekly. You can also send me a text on this number for more details. Nothing about this makes sense. It's all contradictory. To say it's not going to affect your other job in any way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Is false. First of all, of course. Let's start there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Second of all, no experience. No experience.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No experience.

[Nicole Parker]

She just wants a warm body to show up and help her live her life.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She wants somebody to be posted.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You would have to tell them what to post at that point. Just post yourself.

[Nicole Parker]

That's a work from home situation. You don't even really need someone to do that for you if that's your main job.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

It sounds like she just. It's. She sounds lazy. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna say it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm saying I'm gonna say it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it because this. This crosses over into a sort of. It feels like a real estate area? Can you feel a little more judgmental than you normally would?

[Nicole Parker]

I guess it's possible. I mean, I like people who put in the work, you know. I mean this person probably tries to do like virtual open houses or. Right. And not. And not get off their feet. Get on their feet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's a Turbo tenant?

[Nicole Parker]

I was going to ask you that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no, neither of us knows.

[Nicole Parker]

We don't know what that is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, do you know what a Turbo tenant is?

[Doug]

Oh, I'm dying to know.

[Nicole Parker]

Should we look it up or did this person make it up?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We should look it up.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Look it up. Bae, could you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, please, Doug, please, could you just look it up?

[Nicole Parker]

Could you just do it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug, would you please look it up for us? We do so much.

[Nicole Parker]

We do so much. We're out here with these crazy people just now. Put it in.

[Doug]

Turbo tenant property management software. 900,000 plus landlords use Turbo tenant property management software to screen tenants, generate leases and collect rent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, Doug,

[Doug]

I was at the last.

[Nicole Parker]

That'll be enough from you. Doug.

[Doug]

I was at the last finishing.

[Nicole Parker]

It's a word too many apparently for Brad. Hurts. You know, Turbo tenant really sounds like something from, you know, a post apocalyptic future movie that Sounds so cold. And it's like. Well, I have turboden where it. It's like, you know, you get your apartment from a robot and.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From a robot.

[Nicole Parker]

What does that mean? I didn't think I'd have to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it has a Jack and Jill bathroom.

[Nicole Parker]

Gobber plumbing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There is storage under the stairs.

[Doug]

You know what's sad? I don't think robots will sound like. Like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They should.

[Nicole Parker]

They already don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We should make them sound like that.

[Nicole Parker]

You wish that. Because that's what we all imagine in the movie Played with Toy Rob. Yes. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't want robots to sound like people.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, but they're going to. And it's terrifying. I mean, don't they already?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, Joan.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I don't like robots at all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't either. I like people.

[Nicole Parker]

Same. We all like people. Except for Deanna.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do like a robot that is supposed to dance or whatever. And then it gets too close to a table or something and starts smashing stuff by accident. Doesn't know it's doing it.

[Nicole Parker]

Violent. They can be. That's terrifying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it's terrifying. But it also is kind of funny when the people are pulling the robot away like it's drunk.

[Nicole Parker]

You know, I can't let the dog robots. They're so disturbing to me. I do not care for them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

First of all, we shouldn't be going fat. Yeah, they're terrible.

[Doug]

And what if they spoke like people?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please stop kicking me. Why is everyone always kicking me?

[Nicole Parker]

Now, if I could give escrow robot voice, I would. I really would. I would love to hear it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What would he say? Please kill me. I long for death.

[Nicole Parker]

I forgot who you were 10 years ago. All right, listen, Deanna. I think you should just leave people alone. I don't think. 500 bucks. And also, she just says 500. 200 weekly, which is not a whole lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it's not.

[Nicole Parker]

It sounds like, go over to her house and just live her life for her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And also no experience necessary. You will have to learn this software.

[Nicole Parker]

And you're just a good invite with someone with no references, no resume. You're just. You just want anyone to come.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did. You know what? This kind of turns me on landlords a little bit. It's making me not like landlords.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I've never. Listen, I don't really deal with them because I don't even rent out condos or apartments. I only do. I only do homes that aren't rental.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My experience as a renter with landlords is always that you know, they're having a tough time. They're having a tough time and they're

[Nicole Parker]

always so annoyed and it's always crazy

[Doug]

that they get lord in their title.

[Nicole Parker]

It really is. You're right.

[Doug]

Everyone we have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you think about the tough times they have because, you know, if something wasn't working in the apartment and I would say, can you fix this? And then they would tell me what a hard time they were having with this, that, the other thing, and I would think, I feel bad. I bought bother them now.

[Nicole Parker]

That's not how you should feel. They're doing that to you. No, that's manipulative. That's manipulative.

[Doug]

Every time they have to raise their rent, I just think, ah, they must be going through something.

[Nicole Parker]

Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like, oh, no. Is there anything can I.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you want to stop feeling bad for landlords? This is infuriating.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, I just know these guys were, like, struggling.

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then I hear this Deanna, who's just saying, I just want to sit around and watch you do this.

[Nicole Parker]

That's what it is. That is what it is. It's passive income. Okay? So just don't feel bad for them. Okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm. I'm. You know what? I'm glad we did this post.

[Nicole Parker]

So am I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's really changing my opinion on a lot of things. Good.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm glad it's turning you around. Yeah.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

All right, well.

[Doug]

And I'm sorry you guys had to hear big bad John on such a bad system.

[Nicole Parker]

Babe, I mean, that's. I know this is going to make you angry, but I can't tell that difference. And I know that's the worst possible thing you could say.

[Doug]

I wish you wouldn't say that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Honestly, I started to be able to tell the difference.

[Doug]

Oh, well, you haven't joined me in the.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, why don't we. Why don't we go in there? Let's all go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was like. I felt like there's something I'm missing.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, let's all go in there. We're coming down. Wait, is this room upstairs or downstairs?

[Doug]

It's neither. Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it in the room with us right now?

[Doug]

No, it's. If you're taking the stairs, sure. It's actually, there's like a side hatch in the stairs.

[Nicole Parker]

There's seven flights of stairs in our house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's a side hatch?

[Doug]

It's a hatch, like on the side of the stairs. You open it.

[Nicole Parker]

Zero extra explanation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry, but hatch on the side.

[Doug]

How would you describe that?

[Nicole Parker]

So is the hatch gonna move? Wait, I'm so confused.

[Doug]

You're just gonna move.

[Nicole Parker]

You're in.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's just a howl's moving side hatch situation.

[Nicole Parker]

Just yell and we'll come towards your voice.

[Doug]

All right. Follow the Big Bad John.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Doug]

Look at this guy.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, Doug is saying this is a real thing. This is a video of just men. Oh, that speaker's gigantic. What? Oh, my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It looks like a huge earbud.

[Nicole Parker]

It does. And there's another other one. It's gigantic.

[Doug]

Listen to that, babe.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, I guess it sounds a little clearer than. Than it did.

[Doug]

You'll never want to listen to any.

[Nicole Parker]

I'll never want to listen to it again. That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That sounds terrific.

[Doug]

Right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, it's so good.

[Doug]

You've never heard Big Bad John?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I never.

[Doug]

I can honestly imagine listening on your phone. Big Bad John on a phone. It's disgusting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll never listen to anything on my phone again.

[Nicole Parker]

Disgusting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna take all my calls through an expensive hi fi.

[Nicole Parker]

No. You gonna walk around with that gigantic speaker?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess I have to figure it out.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, okay, everybody, I'm odd man out here, but because I'm a woman.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So woman. That does it for this first episode of season 10 of the New World Listen. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to hear our bonus content, you can go to cbbworld.com and sign up on the Maximus tier and you will get access to our special episodes that we do, including movie Q and A's, sometimes double dates. Anything can happen on the bonus room, and it usually does. We're having fun. Well, we'll be back next week with a new episode. Until then, goodbye and bye.

[Nicole Parker]

All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins.

[Nicole Parker]

And me, Nicole Parker.

[Doug]

And me, Brett Morris.

[Nicole Parker]

This episode's guest was played by Pam Murphy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Nicole Parker]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free, as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show going. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, on each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Nicole Parker]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Emily]

A whole lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that. Was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. Notify new episodes every Tuesday.

[Nicole Parker]

Wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventures, protect your dog from parasites with Credelio Quattro. For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit cordelioquattrolabel.com consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973. Ask your vet for Cordelio Quattro and visit quattrodog.com.