The Norm Here with Chris Grace

Summary

The Neighborhood Listen: Episode Summary – "The Norm Here with Chris Grace"

Release Date: May 20, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of The Neighborhood Listen, hosts Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins), Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker), and Doug (Brett Morris) delve into the quirks and cultural nuances of their fictional hometown, Dignity Falls. Utilizing real posts from a neighborhood social networking app, they engage in improvisational storytelling, bringing to life the diverse and often humorous personalities of their community.

---

Guest Appearance: Mary from Meepos

Timestamp: 34:05 – 83:22

The centerpiece of this episode is an in-depth interaction with Mary, a newcomer from the distant land of Meepos. Mary's post on the neighborhood app sparked a compelling discussion about cultural misunderstandings and the phenomenon of "ghosting" in American communication.

• Mary's Concerns: Mary expresses frustration with what she perceives as the American norm of initiating contact (such as business inquiries) and then abruptly ceasing all communication. She writes:

  "Explain to me a newcomer to America. This is considered the norm here. If they write to you, you answer. And after that you just remain silent and do not answer anything. Four question marks. Horror, nightmares. Such disrespect."
  (00:36:37)

• Hosts’ Response: The hosts, embodying their characters, empathize with Mary while humorously addressing the cultural gap. Brett Morris remarks on the rigidity of American business communication:

  "Generally, there's not, you know, what I'll have to say with realty. It's a lot on us to follow up. It's a lot of realty follow up. Because we're chasing the deal, right? We're chasing the sale."
  (00:45:08)

• Cultural Clash: Mary’s traditional practices from Meepos, such as writing letters to prospective partners and expecting timely responses, contrast sharply with the more casual and often delayed communication styles in America. This leads to a humorous yet insightful exploration of how cultural backgrounds shape interpersonal interactions.

  "In Meepos, you must reach out to a client who says, oh, I come by your home. Have you ever been ghosted?"
  (00:50:08)

• Personal Reflections: As the conversation unfolds, underlying themes of loneliness and cultural displacement emerge. Mary reveals her struggles with locating a missing cousin and the emotional toll of feeling disconnected from her roots.

  "I came to find one of my cousins and then I gave up."
  (01:00:02)

  "You gave up on searching for your almost a decade."
  (01:00:01)

• Humorous Banter: The hosts maintain a light-hearted tone, interspersing the dialogue with playful jabs and in-character humor. For instance, when discussing Mary's oversized living space filled with pills, Brett Morris quips:

  "Pills."
  (01:50:22)

---

Highlight: The Millionth Pill Celebration

Timestamp: 12:09 – 13:03

Throughout the episode, Burnt Millipede shares amusing anecdotes from his role as the "pharmacist in chief." A notable moment occurs when a milestone is reached—dispensing the millionth pill—a humorous event celebrated with trumpets and confetti.

• Burnt’s Experience: Burnt explains the celebration process:

  "When it hits a million pills, there's a big sound effect of trumpets. And then confetti falls. We all come out from behind the counter. We sing a song."
  (00:12:09)

• Team Dynamics: The camaraderie among the hosts is evident as they joke about Burnt's limited singing range:

  "Burn can only sing one note."
  (00:13:19)

This segment underscores the show's blend of everyday community life with whimsical storytelling.

---

Pool Cleaning Appreciation

Timestamp: 89:27 – 91:24

Towards the episode's conclusion, the hosts read a poetic post praising Milton, a diligent pool cleaner in Dignity Falls. The eloquent appreciation for Milton’s meticulous work injects a touch of sincerity amidst the humor.

• Milton’s Commendation: The post reads:

  "Milton cleaned my pool. He cleaned the surface tiles and filters. He checked the water quality. He balanced the chemicals. The pool looked better after. I appreciate his work. I would recommend his services. Message me for his number."
  (00:89:27)

• Hosts’ Reaction: The hosts marvel at the poetic nature of the praise, blending humor with genuine admiration:

  "It really is beautiful. And imagine being Milton."
  (00:90:20)

---

Concluding Thoughts

Timestamp: 93:02 – End

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the day's interactions and the vibrant tapestry of Dignity Falls. They touch upon themes of community support, cultural integration, and the enduring charm of their hometown.

"We have unlocked the entire history of the show ad free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going."
(End Notice)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. "Explain to me a newcomer to America. This is considered the norm here." – Mary
   (00:36:37)

2. "It's like saying in your vernacular, you say like tissue or." – Mary
   (00:47:20)

3. "You have to be in the same room." – Paul F. Tompkins
   (00:43:36)

4. "It's a lot on us to follow up. We're chasing the deal, right? We're chasing the sale." – Brett Morris
   (00:45:08)

5. "We sing one of the folk songs. Millionth pill." – Mary
   (00:82:20)

Insights and Conclusions

This episode of The Neighborhood Listen masterfully combines humor with insightful commentary on cultural differences and modern communication challenges. Through the character of Mary, the hosts highlight the often-overlooked struggles of newcomers adapting to a new social landscape. The blend of scripted humor and improvised interactions offers listeners both entertainment and a reflection on the complexities of community dynamics.

The celebration of mundane milestones, like dispensing a million pills, juxtaposed with serious discussions about loneliness and cultural displacement, exemplifies the show's unique approach to storytelling. By maintaining a balance between levity and depth, The Neighborhood Listen continues to engage its audience, providing a window into the heart and humor of Dignity Falls.

Final Thoughts

Whether you're a longtime listener or new to The Neighborhood Listen, this episode offers a rich tapestry of engaging conversations, humorous anecdotes, and heartfelt moments. Dive into the world of Dignity Falls and discover the vibrant lives of its residents through the witty and charming lens of Burnt, Joan, and Doug.

Join the Conversation

If you have a neighborly story or a unique post you'd like featured, screenshot it from the Neighborhap app and send it to [e-mail]. Your story could be the highlight of our next episode!

---

This summary captures the essence of "The Norm Here with Chris Grace," providing an engaging overview for both dedicated listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's.

[Nicole Parker]

Tender juicy and its own sauce.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would you look at that?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you can't see it, but trust me, it looks delicious. New McCrispy strips now at McDonald's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At T Mobile. We'll give you four free 5G phones and four lines for only $25 per line per month with eligible trade ins. And no, it's not a contest. It's every day for a limited time. Everyone's a winner on America's largest 5G network. Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per line per month with auto paid discount using debit dollars more per line without AutoPay. Up to $830 off each phone via 24 monthly bill credits plus taxes, fees and $10 device connection charge for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement too. Bill credits end if you pay UP devices early. CT mobile.com hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

[Brett Morris]

And I'm Nicole Parker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

[Brett Morris]

Occasionally, we change the names of some.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Streets and that's all you need to know to support the show and unlock the ad free archive as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the Bonus room. Go to CBBworld do and sign up for a Maximus membership.

[Brett Morris]

And now please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Knock, knock.

[Brett Morris]

Who's there?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your neighbor.

[Brett Morris]

Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half AP and.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Us burnt and jode.

[Brett Morris]

From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.

[Brett Morris]

We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen, the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its residents. Including us. And who is us?

[Brett Morris]

Who is us?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me tell you. Me, I'm Burt Mihpede. I'm the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls Missy pharmacy.

[Brett Morris]

And that's a mouthful, truly. And me, I'm Joan Pedestrian. I am. I am. I don't know why this just occurred to me and I'm interrupting my own introduction. That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This never happened before. This is amazing.

[Brett Morris]

But you know what I'm really hating right now?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's that? Yeah, please tell me. Spill Queen.

[Brett Morris]

I'm really hating because I was gonna say, coming in as your realtor, I hate these sort of food Instagram accounts and they. And the camera's there and they put. They put their hand behind the ingredient. They'll say, I'm coming in with the black beans. What? Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Nicole Parker]

No, I haven't seen this.

[Brett Morris]

This is what they say. All of these mediocre. Every ingredient they present, they say, and then I'm gonna come in with my salsa. It is absolutely obnoxious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They put their hands so they. They physically are shoving.

[Brett Morris]

No, it's as if that they need to. It's as if it's like putting a green screen or putting something behind the can so that you can see it better.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is what I. This is what I mean when I say black beans. These. And then I go over here.

[Nicole Parker]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But they say coming in a lot.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. It is just the worst.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like in retail places now they say welcome in.

[Brett Morris]

They do, yes. Oh, yeah. You were talking about this earlier. This really bothered you. We had to be. Oh, they were. It was a different guest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And now I noticed it.

[Brett Morris]

You over articulated that. Now I noticed it. That's a good warm up. That's a good tongue twister.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I noticed.

[Brett Morris]

And now I noticed it. Not as good as my favorite Mitch McConnell's Milkshake Madness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now that's a tongue twister.

[Brett Morris]

That is a tongue twister.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a real tongue tw. Try to say it again.

[Brett Morris]

So I'm coming in with realty and with being a local actor. That's what I'm coming in with today. And you can't see it, but I'm putting my hand behind myself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

And. And then, of course, we always have Doug and he's in a. Last time he was in a hallway, and it was very weird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Explain Doug to the listeners.

[Brett Morris]

I don't know how, if you haven't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Heard the show before.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, he's my husband. I love him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course you do.

[Brett Morris]

But he's always building a different room. And you. For a while, it was my idea. The rooms were always my idea. But lately you can build these rooms.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you. You. You have really. You've built so much onto this house. And now let me. This is a question I've never dared ask.

[Brett Morris]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Once the rooms are built, do they stay forever or do you demolish them to. To make other rooms?

[Brett Morris]

So far they have, but I learned that he demolished. Are you ready for this? Are you sitting down? I am sitting down because these are devastating to me. The bean room and the linen room. So we could have crawl space to run through the hallway where he was going to, you know, be the eyes looking at people out of the paintings.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Hapsburg hallway.

[Brett Morris]

Hallway. He took. He tore those down. Remember I said. I think that's what I said at the end of the last episode. I hope you didn't take down any of our rooms. And that's what he did. And I'm. I'm not really happy about it, but, you know, it. It is what it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we go now.

[Doug]

Well, to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doug.

[Doug]

I'm coming in with a. Sorry.

[Brett Morris]

You better have your hand behind you.

[Doug]

I got my hat on my chest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Brett Morris]

Not in your hand. Okay. I appreciate.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you laying down? You're not holding that. It's just. It's just on your chest.

[Doug]

No, what I did was I did, you know this. You know those hooks that you can buy that with the adhesive on them?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

You can hang your towels on.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, sure, sure. Work that you have in college that if you put one towel that's just slightly wet, it comes off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They've come a long way.

[Brett Morris]

They really have come a long way.

[Doug]

Yeah. You don't want to get Generation 1 hooks. No, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Even. Don't. Don't be a skin flint. Don't be a cheapskate. Don't spring for the new. The latest gen.

[Doug]

I put a hook on my chest and I'm hanging the hat on there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why?

[Doug]

Because I'm deeply sorry. I didn't. I didn't know.

[Brett Morris]

It's gonna be a Kelly Clarkson moment when you rip it off. I understand.

[Doug]

I need a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It took me a second. I thought what does Kelly Clarkson have to do with hooks?

[Brett Morris]

But now I understand.

[Doug]

Can you help me understand?

[Brett Morris]

The 40 year old virgin. Remember when they're giving him a chest wax?

[Doug]

Oh, yes.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, yeah. So he's in. And I thought this would be fun. This is actually a collab that we did because X. Doug. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does it feed anyone?

[Brett Morris]

Escrow, our 30 something year old dog.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

30? Is he lying about his age now?

[Brett Morris]

He's had no work done that's apparent. So. And you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry.

[Brett Morris]

I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does escrow have any original parts left? This dog has cost you thousands.

[Brett Morris]

He does have a pig heart. He has one of my kidneys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not just so we're clear, not the whole kidney.

[Brett Morris]

I had a partial kidney problem. They really said. They really said. They just needed it to take the place of it. It's not actually quite functioning as a kidney. They just need.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They just need to fill that space.

[Brett Morris]

And I Said, I love my dog this much. I'm going to give him part of my organ.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

So. So no, there's really not a lot of them. That is the original part. He's also been on Rogaine for dogs. So I mean, like that's. He's just not. I love him. I keep him. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He has three peg legs. Three.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So when he walks, it makes it very.

[Doug]

He's got a peg tail too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Makes it very distant.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Doug]

Those have come a long way. That much like the hooks, they've come along.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was cosmetic because he's, he's part bulldog. So he just had a little nub there.

[Brett Morris]

That's right. He was just doing something and you could tell. Now he wags that thing proudly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He really does.

[Brett Morris]

He lets his freak tail fly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

So Doug is coming to us from the. He's coming in with the, with this, with a, you know, those, those sort of high schools and we had it. I don't know if they do it anymore. At Old Dignity Falls where you had a studio and you had a little closed circuit news station. I, of course, no one's surprised. I was an anchor. I was one of the co anchors, of course. And Doug, you know, used to run the camera for his. And, and well, I mean, we were at the school, but he left for five months and that's when we were broken up. But the rest of the time we did go to the same high school. So that of how we fell in love. You were.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that's so funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have a lot of conversations with the reporters and saying, did you smoke? You can't. Of course we all smoked. Yeah, we all smoked. And, and I would say, we can't cover this. Oh, we can't cover this. And I would get into, you know, arguments with these, these guys and gals all the time. They wanted to break open these, these big stories. And I would say, we can't.

[Brett Morris]

A great movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's going to ruin things or something.

[Brett Morris]

Aaron Sorkin should write it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can't be both. Gotta pick one or the other.

[Brett Morris]

Coming in with some Sorkin criticism. That's what Burnt's coming in with. So we built a little studio and we're gonna, you know, we're trying to figure out how many monitors we're gonna put throughout the house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I'm kind of surprised this hasn't happened already.

[Brett Morris]

Me too. But it hasn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

I guarantee you. You have a stage, I have a theater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Which of course mostly is Just stage. That's just one row of stage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your dream theater.

[Brett Morris]

I really wanted the real estate to go to the stage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. So my dream theater, not my dream audience, but it's okay. But it's always a sold out crowd.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

It takes. It only takes 12 people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

So that's what we're doing. And. And I don't know if we're going to, you know, I don't know if we're going to sort of like open it up to the neighborhood. That might be kind of fun. I'm not sure.

[Doug]

The newscast?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, but we haven't decided yet because it's still in production.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you say open up to the neighborhood, meaning you would broadcast it to other people's homes?

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay. Not invite people from the neighborhood to come on and have shows. You're not gonna do a public.

[Brett Morris]

We don't know about that. I don't think I can do that.

[Doug]

Oh, we could do. Yeah, we could do like a roundtable type of show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, interesting. Yeah, interesting. To discuss the.

[Doug]

The news of the milieu.

[Brett Morris]

The what, babe?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what you would call it, the milieu.

[Brett Morris]

We just learned that word.

[Doug]

Like the view.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, no. Really? Is that what you mean? So it's like five women, but it's called the millieu.

[Doug]

Yeah, just five people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, sure. And why is it.

[Doug]

That's nothing against women.

[Brett Morris]

I think he was trying to rhyme it with the view.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right, right, right. Has nothing to do with a viewpoint.

[Brett Morris]

Not really.

[Doug]

How would you feel?

[Brett Morris]

What does milieu mean to you? Can you give us a definition?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That should be topic number one on the milieu. Exactly.

[Doug]

Exactly isn't just things.

[Brett Morris]

And we're gonna have. We're gonna have a bush daughter of some sort, whether it's a granddaughter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you should. Yeah, you should.

[Brett Morris]

That's the one requirement as far as I understand. I almost called you babe. Doug. Oops. How are you doing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm doing very well, thank you. Everything's good. Things are. Are really great at work. You know, a lot of people are. Are getting prescriptions.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. That means business is booming. You see a lot of that, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well.

[Brett Morris]

That seems almost not right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I don't have to do anything. I just get a commission on. On a certain amount of. If there's. If we go over a certain amount of prescriptions filled, then I get.

[Brett Morris]

Do you have like a sign on the wall? Like, you know, like a ticker just to show if you. If you push enough pills every month, we do what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, we don't push the pills. They come to us.

[Brett Morris]

Of course not. Of course they come to us. They come to us short.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're not allowed to offer them, you know, or suggest anything. It's these doctors of a stranglehold on what you're allow to take. And they come in, they have their little pieces of paper, and then we fill them and we are allowed to roll our eyes. Of course.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But for the most part, yeah, it's. People come in and then we do have a ticker. And of course, when it goes we. It's by pills. So when it hits. I would say it hits a million pills. And then we reset.

[Brett Morris]

Whoa, that's a lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So think about how many pills are in a bottle.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, I guess think about how many bottles. I mean, I'm thinking about it. Okay, sure. All right. So when that happens, we hit a million pills.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would say million pills dispensed.

[Brett Morris]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We probably hit that every two weeks.

[Brett Morris]

Yikes. That seems high. That seems very high. It does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I mean, that's what happens. But if you are the millionth. If you get the millionth pill, of course, there's a big sound effect of trumpets. And then confetti falls. We all come out from behind the counter. We sing a song.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, like a birthday in a restaurant. Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And people enjoy the millionth pill. Someone got the pill. Someone got the millionth pill today.

[Doug]

Clap while you sing it.

[Brett Morris]

Of course they do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Someone got the million pills.

[Brett Morris]

Every, every note. On every note. And just so everybody remembers, Burn can only sing one note.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

So you're not getting the full. Yeah, I'm not getting the full.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Full version of the song.

[Doug]

I like that. You make millions. Kind of two syllables.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, yeah.

[Doug]

Favorite part.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't make it one. You could make it. You could make it three million.

[Brett Morris]

Do you ever have repeat winners? Like, is there someone that's happened. A couple. Okay. And what's their story?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Like, can you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Their stories. They're very sick.

[Brett Morris]

All right, well, that was a dead end. Feel bad about that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to.

[Brett Morris]

I guess I walked right into it. I should have thought about it. I should have thought about it. Well, congratulations to you, I guess, because you've been getting some, I guess, extra bonuses.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Condolences to the neighborhood. People are not doing well. But a lot of these pills, of course, are not. They're not life threatening.

[Brett Morris]

Sure. They're not for life threatening conditions.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, we are. We're selling a lot of sugar pills.

[Brett Morris]

Really? Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Doug]

For experiments.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know what people are doing with them, but we do. That's the one thing that we're sort of allowed to sell without a prescription.

[Brett Morris]

Are these like placebos where, like, you know, someone will just say, yeah, I'll go pick that up for you. And it's someone who doesn't really need the medicine, but you just make up a name and, and then they just take it and immediately feel better, like in the bird cage. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't.

[Brett Morris]

Again, everybody, we're not a movie podcast. And yet at least five movies get brought up in every single podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very true.

[Brett Morris]

And it's usually a movie that we have a very limited memory of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's usually a movie I've seen, like one time when it came out, we.

[Brett Morris]

Remembered a five minutes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Brett Morris]

In this case, Hank Azaria, who plays Nathan Lane's characters, sort of like Butler gives him Pyrrhen tablets. He just scratches the A and the S off. And so he just gives him. It's funny. It's funny. Bird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I put it together. Yeah. Honestly, I was thinking of Angus, Harriet's character in the Birdcage.

[Brett Morris]

I know it's a little problematic. Nope, definitely already not.

[Doug]

All of his characters. Hold up.

[Nicole Parker]

What was the show?

[Brett Morris]

Flavorful, unassailable accents. So is it like that, where people are sort of using, like, what are the using them for?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I, I mean, some people will tell us and some people won't.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And some people will say, I just want to get used to the idea of taking pills because I know I'm going to have to later.

[Brett Morris]

What a strange thing. They're training to take pills.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. It's like young people say, I know when I get older, I'm gonna have to take a bunch of pills every day.

[Brett Morris]

I never had that thought.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You never had that thought?

[Brett Morris]

Never did growing up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think the older you get, the more pills you have to take.

[Brett Morris]

So many pills it can be. You know what I would like to get into? I'm trying to, I mean, right now everything's on hold with the shoot. My twins are shooting a pilot for me in my home that they wrote for me called Mr. Doubtfire. And they've abandoned the one shot idea. They wanted to do hour long episodes with just one shot, but they kept getting in the shot and it was just, and I hated all the tape all around my floor for them to stand there in one place. I'm talking, of course, about my. My boys, Matt and the cinnamon. What did I say? The sinner man. What did I name him?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The cinnamon.

[Brett Morris]

The cinner man. Yeah. So it was, you know, Doug wanted to name him the lawnmower man. He had just read from the book. Yeah, the book. Well, the movie.

[Doug]

So much better than the movie.

[Brett Morris]

The movie strays greatly from the book.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it a Stephen King?

[Brett Morris]

Yes, it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

It's like a short story. It's one of them short stories.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the book is better than the movie?

[Brett Morris]

Doug thinks so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Doug]

Yeah. Can you believe it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which part?

[Brett Morris]

That you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That you think so or that.

[Doug]

Well, which part didn't you believe?

[Brett Morris]

And I was taught. And I was. When I was pregnant with the boys, I was eating a lot of stuff. Cinnamon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Brett Morris]

And so I was a little bit out of it when I was saying the names.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you. What do you mean? You're just taking spoonfuls of cinnamon. Like the challenge.

[Brett Morris]

I was doing the cinnamon challenge before was a challenge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Brett Morris]

When I saw these people doing it later, I was like, you bunch of. Oh, my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pregnant women. Pregnant women.

[Brett Morris]

That's a swear word. I get one swear word an episode. That's ridiculous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not a swear word.

[Brett Morris]

I shouldn't say that. I should say I don't like it when people use the word pussy to indicate weakness.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You keep saying.

[Doug]

I think you just.

[Brett Morris]

Want us had a real seizure. I say it if I want to. I'm sorry you guys are so uncomfortable with the female anatomy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now that. Now, Joan.

[Brett Morris]

Now, Joan, let's forget the pussy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You said it again.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, I'm saying it. All right. What were you asking me? Okay. About the cinnamon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, women can eat as much cinnamon without repercussion.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. It's a little known fact.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

For those nine months, there's something about.

[Brett Morris]

Our glands that they don't dry out like they do in a normal person.

[Doug]

That's the repercussion. Otherwise, if you're not pregnant.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you seen the cinnamon challenge?

[Brett Morris]

The videos? People died doing that. They swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon dry and they can't. They choke because it takes away all the. The.

[Doug]

So it's not the cinnamon, it's the choking.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so it's not the water in your lungs stop breathing.

[Brett Morris]

He's been a little behind on the challenges. He's kind of trying to think of his own. He was doing a peppercorn challenge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tell me about that.

[Doug]

I love the peppercorn. That's where you shove.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You. You do what he did.

[Brett Morris]

Start with shove. You have to keep going, babe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I heard shove.

[Brett Morris]

You heard shove.

[Doug]

You shove two. You shove two bendy straws up your nose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Shove them up there.

[Brett Morris]

You must. It won't work otherwise.

[Doug]

You shove them. You pinch them first.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Shove them up, Pinch them and shove.

[Doug]

The bendy straw comes out, hooks out of your nose. Somebody else blows peppercorns up the bendy straws into your nose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you say it hooks out of your nose, what does that mean?

[Brett Morris]

Well, talking about the bendy parts, you know. Yeah, right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was talking about the bendy part. This is the part of the straw.

[Doug]

It's more of a practical.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm saying, does it go through your nasal cavity and then come out your mouth? What happens?

[Doug]

No, it's just so the person blowing can just face you rather than get under.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I see.

[Brett Morris]

You're just sticking it up your nose to the elbow part.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just the bendy part. Yes, I got it.

[Doug]

The bendy part hooks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Still a lot of straw.

[Brett Morris]

It sure is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a lot of straw to be putting in your nose.

[Doug]

Oh, you're. You're okay. Yes. Yeah. For some reason, you're supposed to put the long end up your nose and just the short.

[Brett Morris]

Some reason out. I don't know why you're talking. You invented this one, so I don't know. For some reason, you're supposed to. This is yours.

[Doug]

Now I'm realizing I should put the short end up the nose.

[Brett Morris]

Just not do it at all. Babe, I do think you shouldn't do it at all. You don't want to be poking your own brain. All these challenges.

[Doug]

Straw. You get hung up on the straws. But the real challenge is the peppercorn.

[Brett Morris]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What happens with peppercorn?

[Doug]

You try not to sneeze.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. All right.

[Brett Morris]

So anyways, the whole point of this was, is that I wanted to name them Matt and Cinnamon, and Doug heard it wrong. And I was sleeping when he was giving the names, and then the lady, the nurse wrote down sinner man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, this happens all the time.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. This is when Doug was in his cowboy phase and he was talking in a Southern accent, so it was just misunderstood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That sounds like it would.

[Brett Morris]

That actually sounded.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That sounded like Cinnamon. Yeah, that actually sounded more like Cinnamon.

[Brett Morris]

It's been a while since he's done the act.

[Doug]

Sinner Man.

[Brett Morris]

There it is.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But were you trying to say cinema?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, dear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Anyways, I don't know why I started talking about the voice. Oh, what? I. We were talking about. We were talking about yeah. We were talking about the. The pharmaceuticals. Right. And so what I've been trying to get into. Because right now they're sort of at a standstill. They're doing a rewrite and.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not page one. Oh, no. A page one rewrite. Oh, boy.

[Brett Morris]

And they have to. They don't even know what that means, though. So don't tell them. So I've been trying to get into songs for pharmaceutical commercial know, because some of them are really fun, you know? Oh, I love that one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which one is that?

[Brett Morris]

I think it's Jardians.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

They're like, control means everything to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Brett Morris]

And it's just. It's really.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Control means everything to me. What a chilling lyric.

[Doug]

Is that really what it says?

[Brett Morris]

It's just that right now there's a huge market for plaque psoriasis pharmaceuticals. That's hard to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

And so I'm trying to think of, like my own, you know, so it's like I. So I don't know, maybe I either want to be the singer or I want to write the jingles, you know, because I just think there's a huge. It's a huge market for it. You know, every other commercials for Plexorize, it seems like. Which isn't a laughing matter because, I mean, my. My father had it. I have eczema all the time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All the time.

[Brett Morris]

It moves around my body. I had it on my eyelids last week. I'm not kidding.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, it really sucked.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Brett Morris]

It kind of looked like I already had eyeshadow on, so that was a little bit nice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Save some money. Cosmetics are expensive.

[Brett Morris]

So. So, yeah, I just, you know, when I. I'll be like. I'll be like walking around the house listening to that song, and I'm just like, you know, this is a great. I think there need to be more songs like this because I actually think. I would say that a lot of people are coming into your pharmacy because of that song.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I don't doubt it. And let me tell you something. We have a thing now. I can't believe I didn't tell you this because you might be able to be part of this as well.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We take a lot of the. We play a sort of role playing game, me and the gang at work, and we create characters and worlds based on the names of different pharmaceuticals.

[Brett Morris]

This sounds. Because they sound sort of mythological, elaborate, and almost unethical.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why?

[Brett Morris]

Well, because you're taking real people's names and. No, we're not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, we're taking the names of the medications.

[Brett Morris]

You're taking the names of medication?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because they sound.

[Brett Morris]

Give me an example.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They sound like mythological. So it's like.

[Brett Morris]

So, like what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The appropriate. Summon the guardians. We must capture the eschitalazipram.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that's my least.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't they sound like. You know what I mean?

[Brett Morris]

They just threw a bunch of letters in a bucket and then decided to name it that. Generic. My God, that is.

[Nicole Parker]

They punish you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They punish you with the generic name.

[Brett Morris]

Guess what? You don't get the generic. You get this word salad. And it probably doesn't work as good. And it could be a sugar pill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It could be.

[Brett Morris]

And how long do you play this for? Is this something you do often?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We play it after work. We play.

[Brett Morris]

So this is like your Dungeons and Dragons?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess. Like that.

[Brett Morris]

I'm sorry, what, babe?

[Doug]

Vorar. That's one of them.

[Brett Morris]

Rar. Do you know it?

[Doug]

Yeah, that's.

[Brett Morris]

Are you just googling names of pharmaceuticals?

[Doug]

Antidepressant.

[Brett Morris]

It's an antidepressant. Rar. That does sound like the hero of a story, I have to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And he's in love with the fair Lunestra.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that's a good one. And what's the one that really bothers me? Because it's all these people having lovely lives, but they're like, you don't know. He's in heart failure, and they're dancing, and they just show their. Their heart, which is in terrible distress. And we're supposed to be happy for these people, but they're just walking around going, he's dying. And he's dying, but not really, thanks to this pill. I find it very rude, that is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think that people don't know they're in the commercial?

[Brett Morris]

I think so. I'll tell you what. I have gotten so red pill, blue pill about this. I've gotten so freaked out that whenever I'm on a sailboat or taking a hike or just hanging out with Jalapey on the beach, I'm like, am I in a commercial right now?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Brett Morris]

Am I. Am I not okay? What do I have wrong with me? That's right, babe. He's still trying to make sense of that movie. He really is. He walked from one town to the other to see if he would run into the end of the town when he saw that movie. Movie? Because he was so worried.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which movie?

[Doug]

I don't know.

[Brett Morris]

Truman Show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Truman Show.

[Doug]

That was years ago.

[Brett Morris]

But that boat hit that sky and it broke his brain, let me tell you.

[Doug]

I mean, you are the One who thinks you're in the commercial these days. I'm just saying, that was years ago. I thought I was in the true machine.

[Brett Morris]

It's getting personal.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He got you there.

[Doug]

Just trying to level set. My hat is still on my chest.

[Brett Morris]

All right, well, can you guess how long we've been talking, babe? Because it's probably time for our guest. Here he goes again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have a couple minutes free activity, period.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that sounds like the song you sing to the people in the pharmacy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have the millionth pill. You have the millionth pill.

[Brett Morris]

24. Is it actually the tune of you have the millionth pill. The millionth pill. You have the millionth pill, Millionth pill. Oh, you have the millionth pill. The millionth pill, the millionth pill, the million. What is that song from? Is that Fantasia? No. What is that song? What am I humming, Joan?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know. This is how I'm finding out. Song is a weird owl.

[Brett Morris]

Is it from a movie? Maybe I'll. Our guest will know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maybe.

[Brett Morris]

Let's. Let's ask them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doubt it.

[Brett Morris]

All right. We should take a break.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We should take a break. What was that?

[Doug]

No, nothing. I was just thinking about that song. Whether it's Hungarian Rhapsody or not.

[Brett Morris]

It is definitely not Hungarian Rhapsody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But there's a real song. Hungarian Rhapsody.

[Doug]

Hungarian Rhapsody is the source material.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does every country have its own rhapsody?

[Doug]

That one song has so many cartoon classics within one song.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, do you know what I think it is? I think it's Peter and the Wolf. That's what it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A tale as old as time.

[Brett Morris]

That's what it is. It is Peter and the Wolf. That's what the song is. Okay, great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Peter and the Wolf.

[Brett Morris]

All right. We should take a break. Burnt.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We should and we will. More with the neighbor. Listen. When the neighbor listens. Listen. Returns.

[Brett Morris]

Hi, everybody. It's Nicole Barker here. Listen. Once the temps started rising, I realized I was back in the same worn out rotation. Same tank, same shorts, same everything. So I gave my daily uniform an upgrade with Quince. Their pieces are easy, elevated, and somehow make me feel more put together without even trying. Somehow. I am talking 100% linen shorts and dresses from $30 Luxe Swimwear, Italian leather platform sandals and so much more. And the best everything with quince is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman. I love it when they cut out the middlemen. Quince gives you luxury without the markup. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. Now, one of my favorite pieces I've gotten from Quince is a short sleeve white linen button down shirt. It is so perfect because you can dress it up, you can dress it down, I can wear it with anything. It is the perfect summer accessory to making a statement. Which says, I didn't really even try. Quince tried it for me. Do you know what I'm saying? Treat your closet to a little summer glow. Up with Quince. Go to quince.com TNL for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com TNL to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com T N L hi, it's Paul.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now look, if you're constantly on the move or just tired of skipping meals, Huel has you covered. Huel, spelled H U E L is this episode's sponsor and their black edition Ready to Drink is a total game changer. It's a complete meal in one bottle with 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals, high fiber and low sugar. So you feel full, focused and ready for your day. No prep, no cleanup, just grab n go. Huels already sold over 500 million meals around the world. Our world, planet Earth. And now it's your turn to try it. If you're from Earth, new customers get 15% off plus a free [e-mail] when you use our code TNL, don't miss out. Try it today. Like, look for me, I'm running around all the time like a chicken with a head that has been removed. And a lot of times I forget to bring a lunch or I forget that lunch is a thing that I'm supposed to eat. And then I get real hungry and I start to crash. So Huel has helped me out so much because I can just grab one of these guys, guys take it with me in the car and then when I'm feeling hungry, I drink it. Then I'm not hungry no more. It's just that simple. And it tastes good. I'm not gonna lie. It tastes good. Like you ever have like a chocolate, a vanilla, strawberry, banana, like these are the flavors I enjoy. And then I can go through my day without crashing hard. I'm about to call you to action. Get Huell today with this exclusive offer for new customers. 15% off plus a free gift with code [e-mail] tnl minimum $75 purchase that's 15% plus a free gift for new customers using our exclusive code [e-mail] Please see the description for the terms and conditions. Skip the stress, not the nutrition. Try Huel today for complete nutrition. Bottled Rakuten is the smartest way to save money when you shop because you earn cash back at over 3,500 stores. Fashion, beauty, electronics, home essentials, travel, dining, concert tickets and more. Your favorite stores like Lowe's, Levi's and Nike. Pay Rakuten to send them shoppers and Rakuten then passes on a part of that payment to its members as cash back. You're already shopping at your favorite stores. Why not save while you're doing it? It's a no brainer. Membership is free and easy to sign up. Get the Rackuten app now and join the 17 million members who are already saving. Cashback rates change daily. See rakuten.com for details. That's R A K u T E N. Your cash back really adds up. Oh yeah, it's Jay. And I'm coming at you with a for free $1 Kitson gift card. I didn't realize there's only a dollar left. And I don't need Kitson. I never have and I never will. Let me tell you the story about this card. It was given to me by someone who thought I would shop at Kitson. Now, this person didn't know me very well because I'm the kind of guy that goes out of his way to avoid Kitson, if you know what I mean. Hey, nothing against Kitson if you'd like to shop there. And if you do, I've got a dollar for you for free. But something about Kitson doesn't suit Jay's vibe. You know what I'm saying? I'm a guy who, when I shop, I go to places that, how do I put this? Aren't Kitson. And I think I'm known for that. So it was very surprising to me that someone said, hey Jay, I got a gift for you. It's a gift. Get a gift card. And that's a direct quote. The person did sort of hesitate there, there. I try to say gift and kiss it at the same time. I feel sorry for guys like that. Anyway, this guy had a big old smile on his face and I had to, I had to accept a card because I'm a gracious person. That's just the way Jay does things. But when I looked at how much was on the gift card and it was $10,000, I thought, what am I gonna do here? I can't shop at Kitson. But $10,000, that's nothing for Jay to sneeze at. So here's what I did. I got some neighborhood kids to go to Kitson, and I say to these kids, go nuts. Buy whatever you want at Kitson. Shop in the kids department or the adults department, whatever they'll let you do. Just spend all of it. But leave me something on there. You choose the amount, and then I'll take it from there. And, folks, these little ragamuffins for. That's what they were. They spent $999 plus the rest of it, except for $1. And that's where we are right now. Me with a $1 Kidston gift card giving it to you for free. I pray and I hope and I swear that it's not going to be the person who gave me the $10,000 Kitson gift card in the first place. But if it is, I think you understand Jay a little bit better now. All right, Dignity falls. I'm out.

[Nicole Parker]

J.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. Well, Joan, it's that time again. As always, we scour the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for interesting people in our neighborhood to talk to. Maybe some people have a problem. Maybe they have a message they want amplified. Maybe they just want to hang out.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, sometimes that's the case.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Case. And we. So we get.

[Brett Morris]

You get what? Burnt? What is happening? I. Babe, I don't know what's going on with you two.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you know what? I short circuited a little bit.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, did you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I did. It's been a while, but yes, I was hovering above my body.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that happens sometimes when burn is talking. Instead of going through the housekeeping of our podcast, he floats above his body, looks down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If I get. Sometimes what will happen is I'll get fixated on a certain word.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, what was it this time?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think it was posts.

[Brett Morris]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just because I start jumping ahead to what is going to come next. And then I realized, no, it's not time to say that yet.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You still have to say this. Or that won't make any sense. And then.

[Brett Morris]

And then there you go. Your soul leaves your body.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. Well, go on. You're fine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's what happens. So we look at the neighbor app, we try to find people to talk to, and then we bring them in to talk to them.

[Brett Morris]

Well explained.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you have a post that you think we've overlooked, why don't you Screenshot it from the neighborhap and send it to [e-mail] like this listener did. This is a listener named. I guess this is a real name. Mitch Silpa.

[Brett Morris]

What? Okay, I'll buy it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Mitch Silpa Mitchell. I mean, you can use pseudonyms if you want. That's fine. If you don't want to give us your real name, make up a cartoon name.

[Brett Morris]

He wants to be mysterious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Mitch Silpa. So this. Mitch found this one in the recommendations section. And this is someone named Mary. Mary writes. Explain to me a newcomer to America. This is considered the norm here. If they write to you, you answer. And after that you just remain silent and do not answer anything. Four question marks. Horror, nightmares. Such disrespect. Just tin. Four exclamation marks. Why write about work at all if they. If then they ignore me. Three question marks, three exclamation points. It's better not to write at all. If you don't need my services, don't waste my time. Sorry. I'm just outraged by the behavior of Americans. Whoa. Wow, this is a hot post.

[Brett Morris]

Sure is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We've never had anyone.

[Brett Morris]

Never. Never.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please. Welcome to the show, Mary. Mary.

[Brett Morris]

Hello, Mary. Hello.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank you for responding.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, you're welcome.

[Nicole Parker]

She sent this inquiry for people to come visit you with these problems, and I said, I'd like to come in. And you wrote back to me. Thank you very much, Americans.

[Brett Morris]

I'm so glad that we wrote back to you. We do want to be good Americans.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't understand this protocol you have here where you just, you, you, you talk to someone and then you die.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, well, that's an interesting way to sum it up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And, and, yeah, let's, let's, let's get into this, Mary, because, yeah, I, I'm. I, I. You're talking about something that you're presenting as if it's a very commonplace occurrence, but I don't really know what you.

[Brett Morris]

This is what I was going to ask, too. Burnt. How often are you used to writing letters and receiving them?

[Nicole Parker]

How used to it am I in my home country?

[Brett Morris]

Your home country?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And where are you from?

[Brett Morris]

Yes. Oh, that really tickled her.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You are from the island of Meeples.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm from Meeples.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, Meepos. Oh, and her accent came in.

[Nicole Parker]

Accent was there previously. I hide.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Accent was there previously.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen to me. You. You're from America. America.

[Brett Morris]

I am definitely.

[Nicole Parker]

You're from America.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm from America, Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

You're From America.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that's to you, babe.

[Doug]

To me?

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Doug]

Oh, gesturing at the time.

[Nicole Parker]

Sorry. I addressed this oil portrait.

[Brett Morris]

That's the correct thing to do. Mary.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Babe, because the eyes are cut out.

[Brett Morris]

Can you answer?

[Doug]

Oh, yes, I definitely am.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Doug]

I didn't fall.

[Nicole Parker]

I forgot the question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What.

[Nicole Parker]

What is.

[Brett Morris]

Was in your home country? Amiibos. How regular is it to receive letters and to write them to people?

[Nicole Parker]

So when I was betrothed in school.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, we're going way back.

[Nicole Parker]

16, 17. You pick a partner.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, really?

[Nicole Parker]

I, of course, write a letter to my chosen mate.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

All right. I expect you did this as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, not a custom we have here, necessarily.

[Nicole Parker]

And this is why your country is, as we say, going to shit.

[Brett Morris]

Well, listen, I'm not gonna argue with you there at the moment, but I just have to sort of point out that you are aware, and I would assume, unless your hometown home country is really steeped in the past, we have devices now that have sort of negated the need for writing on a piece of paper. People text people call people connect through messaging on apps.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen to what you're saying. Listen to what you're saying. Listen to what you're saying.

[Brett Morris]

I am trying to.

[Nicole Parker]

How did you get this complaint in the first place? You think I don't know what an app is?

[Brett Morris]

Okay, you're angry about those.

[Nicole Parker]

Put this onto neighbor app.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so we're not. We're not talking about physical.

[Nicole Parker]

We're talking everything.

[Brett Morris]

This is not happening. Only in America. Burnt. Right? I mean, every country has these cell phones.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Everybody's on their screen.

[Brett Morris]

Everyone has.

[Doug]

We used to. We used to write letters, you know, before.

[Nicole Parker]

How do you spell this? Burnt. First name.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

B, U, R, N. Tea.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, this is the name of my uncle. Well, that's interesting, because also ethnic name.

[Brett Morris]

From Meos, because isn't me a payday. Ithacan. Is that correct?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ithacan. From Ithaca.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, like old Ithaca. Yes, of course.

[Brett Morris]

Sorry. No, where is it?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Corsican.

[Brett Morris]

Corsican. Okay, I got it wrong. I got it wrong. Corsican, burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

Is connected to my family through Meepos and Crete.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Interesting.

[Brett Morris]

Well, you both have some sort of Greek backgrounds.

[Nicole Parker]

Cretan. Croatian. Croatian.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Never worry.

[Nicole Parker]

Riches. Croesus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Very rich.

[Brett Morris]

Reese's Croesus.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a great candy.

[Nicole Parker]

If I could find Reese's Creases here. I've missed that candy for.

[Doug]

So I just know that has black licorice in it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it does.

[Doug]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Beautiful peanut butter cups. Yes.

[Brett Morris]

With black licorice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's peanut butter and Robed in black licorice. Delicious.

[Nicole Parker]

And fold it up to make the creases.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's wrapped in gold foil.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. It's so fancy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

And that comes from the ancient myth of when the peanut butter falcon ran into the licorice forest.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

And they turned a corner.

[Brett Morris]

They turned a corner. That's right. And the peanut butter falcon got his peanut butter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they accused each other instantly.

[Brett Morris]

They sure did.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You gotcha.

[Brett Morris]

But, you know, they were in love instantly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[Brett Morris]

It was a match made in heaven now. Okay, so. So then my question is, if you're blaming Americans for this, you know, this happens in other countries. Everyone's on the apps, right. Why are you singling out America?

[Nicole Parker]

I have an American niece, okay? And my American niece told me, oh, Uncle Mary, this is just what we call ghosting everyone ghost. And that's why I say I write you a letter, then you die.

[Brett Morris]

You say that.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, well, how do you become.

[Brett Morris]

That's what it. Oh, I see. Because you feel like that's what happens.

[Nicole Parker]

And what you're saying is that you don't get ghosted as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, you've never been ghosted, Joan.

[Brett Morris]

Right, Calm down. I have a very active thread with my mom friends. And here's the thing. It's different with moms, because a mom understands that you might not hear back from that person for two weeks, and it's just because they literally turned to get some drink for some kid, and then two weeks went by.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, it's funny. I have a very.

[Brett Morris]

And you understand. You don't. We don't hold grudges. You get back to us when you get back to us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have an active throw with mom's friends.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, how nice that is. That's lovely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's really wonderful.

[Brett Morris]

Is it just a lot of forwards of. Forwards of forwards of emails?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, it is. And they say a lot of the same things many times over. But it's nice. It's nice to keep up with them.

[Nicole Parker]

I think. This may not be a divide between country and. And. And nation.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, well, certainly it's not that. I don't know if that's possible.

[Nicole Parker]

It might be. It might just be because the. I. I think the two of you have stable jobs. Oh, you are not freelance, Eh?

[Brett Morris]

I am not. Oh, there's a little bit of a Canadian accent in there, too. No, I'm not. I'm not freelance.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course. So I am a freelancer. I provide freelance services. I have my whole life. Oh, what does it do I do a variety of things. One, I am a travel agent.

[Brett Morris]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

I can do tax returns.

[Brett Morris]

You can do tax returns.

[Nicole Parker]

I'm also an architect and furniture manager. Maker.

[Brett Morris]

In a minute.

[Nicole Parker]

And also a software developer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Technically, I'm a no code developer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What does that mean?

[Nicole Parker]

Which means I will create software without using programming.

[Doug]

Drag and drop.

[Brett Morris]

That's exactly. What is that? Burnt. Sorry, babe. What is?

[Doug]

Blessings.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you very much, Doug.

[Brett Morris]

Not even in the room.

[Doug]

I'll be the one to say it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not even in the room.

[Nicole Parker]

I capture your spirit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no.

[Brett Morris]

Mary just like taught burnt sneeze.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wish he hadn't done that.

[Nicole Parker]

Yep.

[Doug]

So my blessings. My blessings didn't work with your philosophy because the reason you say that is to block someone taking your spirit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, but you have to be in the same room.

[Doug]

Oh, yes. My portrait doesn't work.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. You can't see. I have taken out an enameled black lacquer box.

[Brett Morris]

You're encasing the sneeze into a box. That is wild.

[Nicole Parker]

I won't get back to Burn. Burn. Must bury them at some point.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I will.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. But I want to get back to this. To all the many jobs that you said you do or could do. That was a question mark.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Four jobs. I think it was five.

[Brett Morris]

Did you train to do all of these jobs? Did you train to do all these jobs properly trained?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, let's see. I must train to be an architect. You must be licensed in meepos to be an architect.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Sure.

[Brett Morris]

But that's not an answer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does that license transfer here?

[Nicole Parker]

No. I did train. I did train.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. The actual licensing exam in America is much easier than the meepos.

[Brett Morris]

Well, that's not a surprise.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay, so in mepos, you must know what a keystone for an arch is.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Here you don't. I'll go to confirms here. I say, hey, we're gonna put the keystone. They say, what? What?

[Brett Morris]

Well, that's sort of a little dignity fell's quirk. Because all the arches we have in town just have a space at the very top. They didn't. They could never figure out how to make them meet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. No.

[Brett Morris]

And so that might just be. Make them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, make them meet. Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

We. We mishear each other a lot on this podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We really do.

[Nicole Parker]

So this is an American symptom. Both of you thinking of what you're going to say next instead of listening to understand.

[Brett Morris]

Mary has cut us to the core.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Definitely a problem for me. Wow. Guilty.

[Brett Morris]

Wow. Your business is real estate and the arts.

[Nicole Parker]

So then some. Some measures, you must reach out to a client who says, oh, I come by your home.

[Brett Morris]

That's always how they sound.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It feels like everyone that talks to you starts with a big moan.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that is an America.

[Brett Morris]

Imitates anybody.

[Nicole Parker]

That is an American. A lot of people moaning here.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, that is a little bit cartoonish. They say.

[Nicole Parker]

They say your home was so open. I walked around, I had some cheese. I will buy it.

[Brett Morris]

Generally, there's not, you know, what I'll have to say with realty. It's a lot on us to follow up. It's a lot of realty follow up. Because we're chasing the deal, right? We're chasing the sale.

[Nicole Parker]

You are chasing ghosts.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, wow. That is really. That's such a very sad way to put it, but in a way it's kind of true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan?

[Brett Morris]

Oh. Oh, Joe. Okay. Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well.

[Brett Morris]

Well, okay. I mean, I do feel like I am. I know what you mean.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, you have, you have leads like Glenn.

[Brett Morris]

It's right. Yes. It's just like Glenn Carey, Glenn Ross. It's just like that. It's just like that. But, you know, it, it. It's probably usually used. Mostly this is because I have a teenage daughter in dating. You know, like if a dude or a girl ghosts, you like, you know, one minute they say they love you, the next minute, dot, dot, dot, you know, and I don't really have that with my friends or my clients. Generally, if people are interested in a house, they are going to get back to me. You know what I mean? And if they don't respond, that answer is an answer. Right. You know, no answer is an answer in that kind of way.

[Nicole Parker]

Someone who has only lived in a seller's market.

[Brett Morris]

You mean me?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. I generally refer to the person who's been speaking previously.

[Brett Morris]

I just didn't know. You know, you sort of have an interesting, ornate way of speaking, and it's very philosophical. So I thought maybe you were talking about yourself.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Speaking of which, I'd like to highlight this passage where you say horror nightmare.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Such disrespect. Just tin.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. You're so worked up about it.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, it's like I. Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

What is tin? Well, the tin part.

[Nicole Parker]

If I were to come to you and buy a house and I say, oh, I want to pay in tin, it means nothing. When meepos. We have so much tin. Tis tin everywhere.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, there's a lot of tin barons.

[Nicole Parker]

It's like saying in your maybe vernacular, you say like tissue or.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I don't know, what would we say for it means something that's common. Yeah, I would just say junk, I suppose. So tin is like junk dust.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Like in that movie. The Tin man is worthless.

[Brett Morris]

He's absolutely pleather to me.

[Nicole Parker]

He's made of trash.

[Doug]

Pleather.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Doug]

I would say that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now you're talking about the wizard of Oz.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. It'd be like if a man walked up to me. Made of garbage. That's what the tin Tin Man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So like the whiz.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, exactly, exactly. The Wiz did much better in Meepos than Wizard of Oz.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, that makes a lot of sense. So tin is just. You could just find it anywhere and so it doesn't have value.

[Nicole Parker]

My bed as a child was made of tin.

[Brett Morris]

Really? That sounds uncomfortable.

[Nicole Parker]

It forms to your body.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Tin does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have a tin roof, rusted, which.

[Nicole Parker]

Meant my mother was pregnant.

[Doug]

So she could eat cinnamon.

[Brett Morris]

So. Yes, that's right. So then. Okay, so you came to. To talk about this, and you're very unhappy about it, but usually people post because there was specific incident that happened. Well, no, I posted something that happened.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, yes, of course. Your question is, was, did someone not respond to me in certain way?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Or maybe did. It.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It. It seems like what you're saying is people write to you, say, I need your services, whatever those services are. And then you write back and say, here's what it costs, or here's what you do, or you ask for more information. And then it's then just tin.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, and then just tin.

[Nicole Parker]

Do you know the local magnate? His last name is Richmond.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, yes.

[Nicole Parker]

He wrote to me. He said, can you build me a community center up on the hill?

[Brett Morris]

Are you talking about Richie Richmond?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

And I am an architect. I said, do you want any tax return? I can do tax returns. And, you know, I can do no code developing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Nicole Parker]

And I can do travel agency.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But this is after he asked, can you build me?

[Brett Morris]

He said, and of course I do. Travel agency.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, you cannot not upsell, you know, the services.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I understand.

[Nicole Parker]

If they come to you, say architect, you also offer the other things.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, generally, I don't. Like if someone wants me to help them sell or buy a house. And I'm like, I could also clean your teeth. I think that would be weird.

[Nicole Parker]

This is why your life is full of tin.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, he just leveled a really hard.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That did sound like a real.

[Nicole Parker]

If I come to you and I say, I need some pills.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

You don't tell me the other things you can Do?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, no, that's my only job.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, but do other talents you have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do I have.

[Brett Morris]

All right, you know what he's doing? He's deflecting and he's not answering our question.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's hold this.

[Brett Morris]

So this person. This person, basically the brutalist happened to you?

[Nicole Parker]

I. He said to make. I'm unfamiliar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Didn't take as long.

[Brett Morris]

Unfamiliar with what you.

[Nicole Parker]

He said, make a community senator.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Make a community senator.

[Nicole Parker]

Not a senator. And I said, yes, of course. And then I went ahead and made a bunch of. I drew out many plans based on one. One email.

[Brett Morris]

On one email. Wow. Okay. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I went to my drafting table and I made a very complex set of plans and scoped them all out and send them back to him. And what do I hear back from this? Richie Sculpt sculpted them, scoped them. Oh, scoped. Like in terms of a scope of.

[Brett Morris]

Project, did it have like a gym and like inexplicably a church with a shadow cross? And it did.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. Interesting. Okay. And then what happened? You didn't hear from him?

[Nicole Parker]

I did not hear from him.

[Brett Morris]

That is a little strange.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that is strange. That's a lot of work.

[Brett Morris]

I agree. That is a lot of work. So I hear you on that, Mary.

[Nicole Parker]

Over four days went by, I did not hear back, so I got on neighborhood.

[Brett Morris]

Oh. Oh. So. So that's the incident.

[Nicole Parker]

That is the latest of many tin filled incidents in my life.

[Brett Morris]

Can I ask, first of all, how long have you lived here? Because I'm assuming, did you grow up in Meos and then move here?

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, I moved. I live here now.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, and when did you. How long have you been here for?

[Nicole Parker]

9 years. I've never seen either of you here in town. But then again, I never need a pill. I'm not sick.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, well, he did a little jig.

[Nicole Parker]

When he said that you have to do that. In our culture, whenever you tempt spirits like that, you better be dancing.

[Brett Morris]

I see.

[Nicole Parker]

So they. They think it's an entertainment.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, okay. What an interesting world of myths and wonder. Me post is you felt like now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is the time we do the dance of joy.

[Nicole Parker]

That is one of the things.

[Brett Morris]

Why did you come here? What brought you here?

[Nicole Parker]

I came to find one of my cousins and then I gave up.

[Brett Morris]

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. That sounds a lot like ghosting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are they gonna say it sounds like something else? Oh, it does sound like I. I did. Did your cousin know that you were trying to find them?

[Nicole Parker]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

We have a lost cousin who we feel has Violated our principles.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, really?

[Nicole Parker]

By living with a man.

[Brett Morris]

By living with a man.

[Nicole Parker]

We have a modern urban cities and meepos.

[Brett Morris]

You do? Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course.

[Brett Morris]

Well, because this thing that you just mentioned sounds very archaic.

[Nicole Parker]

What? Two men living together?

[Brett Morris]

Yes. That you're against.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, no. We don't have any two men live together. Even if they are related.

[Brett Morris]

Even I would say that, that, that, that's very old fashioned.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it seems old.

[Nicole Parker]

Is it old fashioned or new fashioned?

[Brett Morris]

It's old fashioned. I think it's old fashioned for sure. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, my wife had twins.

[Brett Morris]

Hey, congratulations as well.

[Nicole Parker]

Twin boys.

[Brett Morris]

What are their names?

[Nicole Parker]

George and Michael.

[Brett Morris]

Is it Demichael or just George and Michael?

[Nicole Parker]

George and Michael.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. George and Michael.

[Nicole Parker]

They must instantly be separated. One can live at home.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, even, even.

[Brett Morris]

That's horrible.

[Nicole Parker]

What did I say? Get the tin out of your ears.

[Brett Morris]

No, I don't think this is tin. This is. This is not. Boy, I know you're giving Americans a real run around, but I don't think it's right that these two little boys would grow up apart from each other because it's.

[Nicole Parker]

So far we have what's. We have a second house outside and they all. They switch off week to week. They just can never sleep under the same roof. If two boys, two men sleep together, think of the plans. They will make the plans. Think of most things. Bad things have happened in the world. World War I, 2, 4.

[Brett Morris]

Well, that wasn't from two boys having.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A sleepover that started with two males.

[Nicole Parker]

Every one of these two men in the same room talking to each other.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, I won't disagree.

[Nicole Parker]

Everything evil has started from them.

[Brett Morris]

But.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But then also good things have come out of that.

[Brett Morris]

Oh boy. Where do we start? Burnt.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, that computer.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I love. That's where you both went. Forget the war rooms. Anyways.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, you asked for good things.

[Brett Morris]

Oh my God.

[Nicole Parker]

See? Warmonger, American. We say what's a good thing?

[Brett Morris]

That was where the conquered Peace and a victory.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sure.

[Brett Morris]

That's what I'm talking about. Churchill. Anyways, I know he wasn't American. Churchill. Is that what I. Churchill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Churchill.

[Brett Morris]

Churchill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Get in here right now.

[Brett Morris]

Churchill and Churchill. So what I do feel like is also Doug asked earlier. I did hear you. He wanted if he had a workaround for the two boys. Like do you have a doggy door or a flap between the two fences in the backyard?

[Nicole Parker]

Actually you can, you can put. Technically hang a curtain between in their room and call it 2 Halloween.

[Doug]

Yeah, see, I had a feeling that's.

[Nicole Parker]

A lot of old cultures from the walls. The walls of Jericho.

[Brett Morris]

I would stop a cult. Honestly, I hate to say this, but a sheet in the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry. One secondary. A lot of old cultures do what Doug?

[Doug]

Just have. You know like with. With lots of rules and systems in place. They. They develop little workarounds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like soaps king.

[Doug]

Like soaking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brett Morris]

All right. So like we on the weekend.

[Nicole Parker]

We cannot start any fires.

[Brett Morris]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

In the town center because of the Billy Joel song. But if we start. Yes. That was originally a folk tale from our country.

[Brett Morris]

Oh boy.

[Nicole Parker]

In fact most of the. Did you know most of those events listed happen in Meos first?

[Brett Morris]

I'm not sure Children of Correct.

[Nicole Parker]

A lot of them cola wars cold.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We started forgot about that.

[Nicole Parker]

Listen, I don't want to talk too much about this because many people died in the cola wars.

[Brett Morris]

No way. Okay. All right.

[Nicole Parker]

Between Pepsi.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I know many both inside. In. In the cola wars.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Well what people don't acknowledge. People don't acknowledge the people that fought for rc.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brett Morris]

Oh wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Doug]

Winners write the history.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The lost. The lost battalion. Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, so I. I'm trying to focus here because you. There's an insight. There was an inciting incident which was you sending.

[Nicole Parker]

I've not heard from this Richmond since then.

[Brett Morris]

Right. This Richie Richmond. Okay. It's only been four days. I will say I always give a week before a follow up. I. I don't know about you burnt, but I do. Unless it's an emergency.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean as a pharmacist we never have to contact anyone who needs our services. We talk to doctors, but we don't really talk to the people coming in to get the.

[Nicole Parker]

What about when you have a patient and the insurance goes crazy and the patient comes in. Oh, I have a problem with my medicine and it's paying too much. And then you have to call the insurance and wait for them to make a new determination about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, but it's always no and then that's the only time we talk to the people is right there at the. At the counter. You know, I guess they call in on the phone sometimes. We never call them.

[Brett Morris]

You know, let me ask you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We do have a thing set up where it's like. If you like us to call you back instead of staying on hold, leave your number.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, but you know what I don't like about that, Burton? I'm sorry. I'm really good again this. I know I will say CVS was worse at this and. And they. And the first lady would Come back. She'd say, are you still there? Which I felt was very rude and just rubbing it in. And you know, the entire time I would be on the phone with her, I would be actively trying to get on online. And that wasn't working either. And she would say, you can always go online. I was like, what if I can't, lady? What if I can't? What if that's not working?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's why at the. At the fallsmassy, our recording, if you stay on hold, it says, I hear you breathing. And it's fun.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, I guess that's better, but I would rather talk to a real person now.

[Doug]

Press one if you're still breathing.

[Brett Morris]

We are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's. No, that's very confusing. We used to have that.

[Brett Morris]

That. That was an entirely mistook. They replaced it by just saying, call 911. We really glossed over this cousin thing. You showed up, you were looking for your long lost cousin because I guess you wanted to stop him from living his lifestyle. Then you gave up. Then you stay. Can you explain that? Why do you stay here?

[Nicole Parker]

Because I came here and I mean, there are many tempting things about American culture.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, like what?

[Nicole Parker]

That's true. Like Atari. Atari, Apple. I went to the Chipotle.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, sure, absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

Which is very.

[Brett Morris]

Ours is called the Chipotle. We have a Trader Joe and we have a Coco's, but it's. It just serves hot cocoa and mushroom burgers.

[Nicole Parker]

What is a Coco's?

[Brett Morris]

C O, C O, A S. That's our own specific one. Normally it's like a Denny's. If you've heard of Denny's. It's C O, C O. It's in a lot of places, but we have a place called Coco's. We also have a Trader Joe, not a Trader Joe's. And we have the Chipotle.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which is a seafood restaurant, by the way.

[Nicole Parker]

You're all welcome to join me tomorrow. I'll be going to your Trader Joe Joe. Oh, because they're welcome to join you. You're welcome. I mean, I only say this because I will be there at 4am they're not open.

[Brett Morris]

Then they.

[Nicole Parker]

You have to get in line, dear. Y. Young. Little dear.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, I don't mind being called young.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You sound like a young little deer.

[Brett Morris]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

You must be there at 4am to get in line for the mini tote.

[Brett Morris]

Bag I have heard about, which will.

[Nicole Parker]

Be released tomorrow at your Trader Joe.

[Brett Morris]

That's the problem is that every day it's only one bag that they Give away way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

So I don't even know why people wait in line. Whoever got there first, why did they.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's a mini tote bag. So it's like you can barely carry on your keychain. So you feel like you want to be. You want to be the one to get the mini tote bag this year.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. Well, that is one of my. That's my sixth freelance business is drop shipping mini tote bags to back to Meepos.

[Brett Morris]

Really?

[Nicole Parker]

We have this national national fruit. It's. It's called the kumquato.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

It's relative of the one you know, but smaller.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's like a kumquat with a little kumquat.

[Brett Morris]

I knew that question was coming. Yes, babe, but the one on the front is dormant.

[Nicole Parker]

Generally dormant, which I really dor. But you put it in the Trader Joe mini tote bag. It can awaken and tell you about the resistance plants.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Resistance plan.

[Nicole Parker]

What do you think Quanta was.

[Brett Morris]

Well, but what's going on in Meepos? That you need a resistance planet. Everything was perfect there.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, no. Why do you think I left? I'm here.

[Brett Morris]

I know, but you complain about America all the time. That's all you've done. That's what you did in this post there.

[Nicole Parker]

First of all, the clear. What I love about the two of you is you grew up here and so you're not used to. In every other country in the world, we like to complain. That is. That is the way of life.

[Brett Morris]

Okay?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So here complains here in America.

[Brett Morris]

Nothing to complain about.

[Nicole Parker]

You've never been ghosted. You've never ever had to buy a bag in the morning. Well, whatever that means.

[Brett Morris]

I have bags in the morning, so believe me, I. That's worse to deal with.

[Nicole Parker]

So occasionally there are resistance plans and you get the mini tote bag. Occasionally there are resistance in and then Cuato will wake up and what a.

[Brett Morris]

Casual way to talk about resistance plans.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and by the way, if you're.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's why the resistance isn't going that well.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, it's a casual resistance.

[Brett Morris]

I think the resistance plans are getting ghosted from time to time. I think that's what's going on.

[Nicole Parker]

That is a big problem, actually. Sometimes they say we're going to do flash mob town square, everybody bring your weapon. And then you get there. No one shows up.

[Brett Morris]

A weird approach.

[Nicole Parker]

I am used to it. Am I happy with it? And has it been anywhere worse than America?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, but you're making it sound like it's a Uniquely American issue, but it is something you've experienced before.

[Nicole Parker]

This level here, though, is something else. I mean, I've tasted a baked pie before, but then I came here and I had McDonald's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The apple pie.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. A different level.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, that's still a baked pie, though it might not taste.

[Nicole Parker]

I went to Jollibee and they had a fried pie. How about that? Does that fit your. Does that fit your knowledge?

[Doug]

You got to go to a new barn. They have the starburst pie.

[Brett Morris]

They do have a pie made entirely starburst. You have to carry it home.

[Doug]

Barn, new barn, neighbor, town neighbor. One of them.

[Brett Morris]

They talk like. They talk like vampire sort of New Englanders. It's a weird accent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Their accent is a mixture of Dracula and someone from.

[Brett Morris]

So smug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're very smart.

[Nicole Parker]

I have to say, I. I envy the two of you because it seems like you're in your lives now. You don't have a lot of need or expectation from others that they could disappoint you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I suppose that's true.

[Brett Morris]

It is true. Especially when it comes to my children. But, yes, I guess that is true. Well, I don't have expectations from them anymore. I just want them to be alive.

[Nicole Parker]

Wait. Do they still live with you?

[Brett Morris]

They do now, actually. Everyone's back in the home. Yes, they do. My boys share a room. Okay, I don't care. I don't want you to put a sheet up in my home. I don't have a problem with it.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, no problem. You're not from Meeples. You don't share my religion, so they can stay together.

[Brett Morris]

What is your religion, by the way? What is the religion of Meepos?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Great question, Joe.

[Brett Morris]

Thank you.

[Nicole Parker]

It's me, boss. Standard, like in America.

[Brett Morris]

So you're standard Maposian.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, America was discovered by Christopher Columbus. So you are Christians. Well, is that not how.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think so.

[Brett Morris]

I don't really think anyone likes to go with that version of history anymore.

[Doug]

Columbus Bread. Isn't that a bread company? Probably can pass that.

[Brett Morris]

Sometimes I think Doug wishes we didn't hear him and follow up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Up.

[Nicole Parker]

But if your children ever go. Where did they leave and come back to from with. How.

[Brett Morris]

That's a lot. Of all the prepositions. Well, if you must know, they were. They. They. They were.

[Nicole Parker]

I must have.

[Brett Morris]

They were trying to get into the industry a little bit, the television industry. They had sold a pilot to the Chick Fil, a streaming network, and they were. They were in LA for a little bit, but then they came back here. To shoot a prank your parents pilot. They did it in my own home, and it didn't get picked up.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, let me ask you, when they were gone.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Nicole Parker]

Did you ever call them and they didn't call you back?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I mean, that happened in the home. I mean, they hid from me for months at a time in my house. So, you know, I've been. You could say I've been ghosted. They hid in the walls, so that's not going to work on me, friend, because, honestly, I have not known where they were so many times since they were born. Again, I didn't even know where the. The second baby was. What's his name again? I can't remember. Oh, that's right. I didn't even know the Cinnamon was there. He was hiding. He. I gave birth to him a full 24 hours later.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, they're twins. Identical twins born one day apart.

[Nicole Parker]

I did hear this. And you were going, why did you.

[Brett Morris]

You heard this? How did you hear this?

[Nicole Parker]

Outside.

[Brett Morris]

Outside of the hospital room?

[Nicole Parker]

No, in the green room before I came into the.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, yes, we actually do have a green room that is. That is set in an alternate reality with a timeline.

[Nicole Parker]

A luxurious green room.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. Doug built that. He built that for all of our guests.

[Doug]

I have the. The Brush broadcast going into the green room, telling the history of the place.

[Brett Morris]

So go on.

[Nicole Parker]

It's not simulcast episode, but it's also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's got a little trivia about us as well.

[Brett Morris]

I don't remember talking about them being born separately, but I guess you heard it. Okay, go on.

[Nicole Parker]

All I heard was the name Cinnamon. That's all I was referring to. I know nothing of this obstacle history.

[Brett Morris]

Nickel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm opposing.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I mean, that is. Listen, that is the problem.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let me. I. I do want to ask this. Of all the. The different fields that you are engaged in, do you consider one to be your primary area of expertise?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I make money. I don't make money at all from my primary, which is I'm a mover.

[Brett Morris]

A mover?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That didn't even come up.

[Brett Morris]

It never came up.

[Nicole Parker]

And I don't. I don't mean mean that I'm a moo. I move your. Your things. I mean, my. In space.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, you're a dancer.

[Nicole Parker]

My body in space moves.

[Brett Morris]

And you get paid for that. By who?

[Nicole Parker]

No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. You asked my mate, my passion.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, yeah, because you didn't even list it. And do you mean dance?

[Nicole Parker]

A dance, I would say, is a subset of what I Do.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, if I had to define dance, I would say you move through space. That's what I would say.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Or to music.

[Nicole Parker]

Move through space.

[Brett Morris]

That's what I would call it. I'm agreeing with you. Burn.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. If somebody didn't know what dance was.

[Brett Morris]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We do.

[Brett Morris]

We do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so I'd like to know, what do you.

[Doug]

We do?

[Nicole Parker]

I. If I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were singing we. It is something. It is something. I agree. It is. I tell you what. It is something that just ground everything.

[Nicole Parker]

Walt, were you singing song from the Stone Cutters episode of the Simpsons?

[Doug]

Yes, absolutely.

[Brett Morris]

That is such a neat cut. Okay. I'm sure he forgot we were talking about move through space. What do you mean? Where do you do this?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, that's why if I. And this is why I. I would never list this as a profession of mine.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Because in America, what I would have to. I would have to pour my form into a little box that you call dance.

[Brett Morris]

But I would say that dance is really pushed outside the box like crazy lately.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very broad terms. It encompasses a lot of.

[Nicole Parker]

Push that out in terms of commerciality.

[Brett Morris]

I just think that people have pushed the boundaries of dance. And it's actually. It's an art form that's been really thriving here.

[Nicole Parker]

I see. Okay. Yes. I mean, I guess in a certain way, I would consider theater a form of dance.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What way is that?

[Nicole Parker]

Well, when you pay a ticket to see a play, do they not get up on stage and move about?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, but I wouldn't describe it as.

[Nicole Parker]

Dancing, but they move.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They say it's moving through space.

[Brett Morris]

I think we're between a rock and a hard place with this one. I don't think there's going to be any movement.

[Nicole Parker]

They have pre planned the movements and they are coordinated with each other in the movements.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, sure.

[Nicole Parker]

And then they happen to say things while they do it.

[Brett Morris]

But why are we picking this apart so much? I just wanted to know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Joan.

[Brett Morris]

I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I asked if he was a dancer and he.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I said, then we got this.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes, yes. So I'm saying if it comforts you, you can say what I do is dance.

[Brett Morris]

It does comfort. Comfort me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you very much.

[Brett Morris]

I'm comforted.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Honestly, Uncle Mary, we just need something to grab onto.

[Brett Morris]

That's right. That's what we're trying.

[Nicole Parker]

What is this American thing about grabbing? This is you colonization.

[Brett Morris]

I think that you. You put a lot of things on America. And listen, again, we are far from criticism, especially at this moment or at any time. Frankly, far from above criticism. Far from. What did I say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You said we're far from criticism at this moment. No, this criticism, I think, is right.

[Nicole Parker]

Here in front of you. You're not very.

[Brett Morris]

That definitely came out wrong. Now I feel criticized.

[Nicole Parker]

How. When was Dignity False founded? What year?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow. I mean, it's. It's an old.

[Doug]

I mean, it goes back to Druid days.

[Brett Morris]

That's true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. That is canon. And we did establish.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, I. Then I. I must forget. I thought you had a much more modern history. I didn't know you.

[Brett Morris]

They only discovered that stuff, you know, like in my childhood, you know, so it wasn't known for a very long time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But Dignity Falls as a community does predate American.

[Brett Morris]

It does. It absolutely does. Yes, it does.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, then, I mean, maybe I've been, as you say, barking up the wrong tree, if in a way, you are not America. You have been subsumed by America, but you yourself are not Americans.

[Brett Morris]

We are our own little place. Dignity Falls really does have its own rules and set of quirks, but there's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No place like it.

[Brett Morris]

There's just no place like it. That's Dignity Falls for you.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, I would say the people around you then are the Americans and you are not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Nicole Parker]

And this is what I would say to you. They do not want us here. They do not want us taking over.

[Brett Morris]

The podcast a little bit. I feel like the tables have turned.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're talking about something else now.

[Brett Morris]

I know. Well, I. I really wanted to stay with you.

[Nicole Parker]

Sure.

[Brett Morris]

I wanted to stay with you. I want to know if you're with anybody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Talk about. No code development.

[Nicole Parker]

I just. I want to loop you in in case occasionally we have resistance plan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[Brett Morris]

Remember, they occasionally happen. They occasionally happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you're gonna ask about his home life.

[Brett Morris]

Yes. Do you live alone? Have you found a romantic partner? Do you have a roommate?

[Nicole Parker]

No, no. No roommate here. I do live alone. I live in a small. Someone called it a McMansion, on the outskirts of town. Wow.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Parker]

But for me, it's small compared to our family home in Meos.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

But I live here. I send money back home to my family.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good of you.

[Brett Morris]

And you're alone. Do you have any friends? Wait, did you say to your wife.

[Nicole Parker]

Your wife's back in. Me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why don't you bring her over here?

[Nicole Parker]

She has no interest.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, she just doesn't want to.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, she. She doesn't want to. She also has no interest in my story. So I. I. When I try to do a call, she Keeps it very short. So I, I don't even get out. You know how long this complaint was in your app? Yeah, I don't even get. I, I say the. In America. And then she cuts off the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't even get to the nightmare.

[Nicole Parker]

I don't even get to the tin.

[Brett Morris]

Don't even. Well, certainly not to the tin.

[Nicole Parker]

And then she would say, oh, I'm so sick of hearing about your tin. Oh, look, you, America. Here I am surrounded by tin. My child is made of tin.

[Brett Morris]

Wait, what?

[Nicole Parker]

It's. It's a expression. It's not true.

[Brett Morris]

It is. Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

He is a boy.

[Brett Morris]

So you have a child. That's right. You have two children. You have twins. And they're back there too, just to be clear.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, but they don't.

[Brett Morris]

This seems crazy. You're not with your family at all. How. And for nine years, it's been like.

[Nicole Parker]

This is a very common immigrant story.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you live in a McMansion that is small compared to your home. Meepos.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

My home here is a three bedroom, four bath, five garage.

[Brett Morris]

Wow, that's rare. You rarely get that in ticket calls. Five garage.

[Nicole Parker]

One is a mini golf cart. Garage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, still counts, though.

[Brett Morris]

Still counts.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So why, I mean, why are you wasting your time?

[Brett Morris]

Wait, are you in that miserable.

[Doug]

You're in that house that's intersected by five streets.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, yes.

[Doug]

It's just one garage for each of the.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Doug]

I've always been fascinated by that place.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, stop by sometime.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, it's the one on Spruce. I'm talking to evergreen, mulberry and palm.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, I was, I was. I invited this oil portrait to my home, by the way.

[Brett Morris]

You invited it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So. Doug, that was not you.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I was speaking to this. Where the sound was coming from.

[Brett Morris]

Right. Well, sometimes he hides behind there, but he's always listening. You should know that. And he can always respond.

[Nicole Parker]

I, I, I got soft. I got used to living here. Now if I go home to Meepos, I just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It seems like you hate it.

[Brett Morris]

It felt like you're softened at all.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, no, this is so soft.

[Brett Morris]

I can't stand it here. This is so soft.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you haven't met my brother and my, My uncle.

[Brett Morris]

Okay?

[Nicole Parker]

They, they're much harsher than me.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Why do you think that My cousin Balki left.

[Brett Morris]

He, first of all, he just. He said these things to me with such disgust. Like I should know everything about him. Every detail about his life.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, burned, I think would understand, as he has the blood Connection.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. A little bit. I understand a little bit.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Doug]

We all have a cousin, Balky.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, we do, right?

[Brett Morris]

I mean, I don't really.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, not me, because I'm the only child.

[Nicole Parker]

All I'm saying is if I send you a.

[Brett Morris]

What you say? What you say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So that was instantly disproven. It's a thesis, it turns out. Nobody does.

[Brett Morris]

I didn't have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do. Yes, of course.

[Nicole Parker]

All I'm saying.

[Brett Morris]

I'll just listen to it.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, you listen back to these.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I always do. Oh, yeah. Because I really. I get self conscious about my voice and about my talking and about everything about.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why would you. Oh. The voice you're hearing now is not anything like the voice you will hear on the finished recording.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I have them put a heavy filter on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Brett Morris]

All I ask is nobody, none of our listeners know what I really sound like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know. It's a shame.

[Nicole Parker]

So it's not as bass heavy as I'm hearing right now.

[Brett Morris]

But I'll ask you to kindly take that out. Doug.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A lot of the smokiness is removed.

[Brett Morris]

It just seems like no movie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Supergirl.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, boy, here we go. No, you don't have to answer that.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, it's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It contains a dynamite Brenda Vacaro performance, and that's closer to what Joan's voice actually sounds.

[Nicole Parker]

No, I've only fully seen Superman 3, which had a scene in it which scared me.

[Brett Morris]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

Where a lady's face became wires.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I don't remember that.

[Nicole Parker]

That is.

[Brett Morris]

This sounds like a last Starfighter moment for me.

[Doug]

Sounds like a poltergeist.

[Nicole Parker]

Lady became wires. That's all.

[Brett Morris]

Lady became wires. You have to look it up.

[Nicole Parker]

But also, Richard Pryor was in it, so it was funny. He stole one cent from everyone's paycheck and added them together to make a large sum. That was very clever.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I've never seen Superman 3.

[Nicole Parker]

So if you have seen this.

[Doug]

That was his plan.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. If you have seen the movie Office Space, it has the same.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh. Oh, really?

[Brett Morris]

It does. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they acknowledge that in Office Space?

[Nicole Parker]

They do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, good.

[Brett Morris]

Well, now all of a sudden, Uncle Mary could be a part of our movie podcast. This is great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true. We're not a movie.

[Nicole Parker]

I've heard so many mentions, so.

[Brett Morris]

I know, I know. It's our fault. We can never help ourselves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

We love the movies. Love the movies. I just don't understand why you want to stay here. Because. And I understand, like, maybe what the real problem is, is that you're Getting ghosted by your wife. She's not even left letting you get through your discussion about how you're feeling on the phone. She just hangs up. It sounds like. Or talks over you.

[Nicole Parker]

So you feel maybe I'm disappointed. Mad at my wife?

[Brett Morris]

It sure sounds like it.

[Nicole Parker]

And then it actually sounds like you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Should be if you're not.

[Nicole Parker]

Richie Richmond has not responded about this community center project. Maybe I'm seeing his actions in a light that reminds me of my wife.

[Brett Morris]

I appreciate this. Usually our guests don't connect the dots like this. And I do appreciate you doing that. They never do.

[Nicole Parker]

Is this a. Do you fix your guests?

[Brett Morris]

We don't. I'm not a licensed therapist, but we do like to try to offer solutions. Help people amplify us a message. Help them get to the bottom of a mystery.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, that is. So of course, we have one path in front of us, as the old folktale goes.

[Brett Morris]

Ah.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh.

[Brett Morris]

It'S just. It's just the voicemail.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. That's a feature I've tried to shut off a million times and they're just.

[Brett Morris]

For whatever reason, Burn said you have to keep my voice smell machine here at your house. Yeah, because.

[Doug]

Because I can't shut that thing off on call pharmacist.

[Nicole Parker]

So as. That's right, we have this Miposian folktale, okay, that says there is one fork in front of you and that is to self regard. To look at yourself, look at your actions, look at the actions of others, see how they rhyme with each other and are you reacting in the bad way? But the other side of that folktale is maybe you just do what I want you to do and it sounds more floral and in my home language.

[Brett Morris]

More floral.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. So for me, when English, it comes out. Maybe you do what I want you to do.

[Brett Morris]

Oh.

[Nicole Parker]

So if I send you a missive. Email, Text tweet skeet.

[Brett Morris]

Text tweet skeet.

[Nicole Parker]

Please respond. It's not so hard.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, why. Why this nightmare? Why this horribleness?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why this tin? Why this tin? Okay, now let me. Ideally and I. I don't think we've addressed this.

[Nicole Parker]

Why don't you do what I want.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You to do more floral in your.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, yeah, we got it. We got it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ideally, because I don't think we have. We have nailed this down. What is the response time? What should the response time be from. From when you send the missive. Ski. Whatever. To when you. When do you think the proper time is to respond?

[Nicole Parker]

I think three business days.

[Brett Morris]

Three business days. It's More floral when he says it.

[Nicole Parker]

Three business days. Which business days in Meeples are Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, they're not in a row.

[Brett Morris]

That must be weird.

[Nicole Parker]

And the next Friday. So when I say he didn't respond within four days. I mean you're American. Two weeks American. Fortnite, as you like to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and the next Friday.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. Are the business in every sense.

[Brett Morris]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That seems like. That seems a tough way to do business for the days not to be in a row. And one of them, not even to.

[Nicole Parker]

Always being has served Meepos well for over 1500 years.

[Brett Morris]

What is Meos's main. You know, business main. Export main. You know what, what. What is meos known for? How do they make their money?

[Nicole Parker]

Project management tools such as Confluence or Jira for. No code development.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, okay. That was an anti. With a bullet.

[Nicole Parker]

And we have been doing that for.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

15 with a bullet.

[Nicole Parker]

Hundred years in some form.

[Doug]

No code development.

[Nicole Parker]

Of course not in the. Not in. Not on a web browser. But the equivalent back when people were agricultural. We would project manage back in the day.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. We have no native crops of our own.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

But we are very good at organization. I don't know if you've heard of an ancient Japanese art called Kanban.

[Brett Morris]

Have not.

[Nicole Parker]

We do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that?

[Nicole Parker]

That is you put a thing on a board and you move it to the right. We it done.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think I know what you're talking about. I feel like I saw it in Shogun maybe.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. The entire second season of Shogun will revolve around project management.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Brett Morris]

Really? And it's called a can can ban Kanban.

[Doug]

So it's a Japanese.

[Brett Morris]

So it's just way ways of checking off tasks.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes. And we became. It's. It's not a. It's not a Maposian art, but we became the master masters of it.

[Doug]

I see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh wow.

[Nicole Parker]

Much.

[Brett Morris]

And then you found a way to monetize that or.

[Nicole Parker]

Yes, of course. Everyone needs a project man.

[Doug]

Like the hot dog.

[Brett Morris]

Sure.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah. It's every. Every. It's like we Americans invented baseball. Japan became the masters of it.

[Brett Morris]

Ah, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or hot dog.

[Doug]

Or hot dog.

[Nicole Parker]

Or hot dog.

[Doug]

German delicacy mastered by.

[Brett Morris]

You know, I have to say the. The more even though it sounds like your marriage is not going to. Well, it sounds like you are so proud of me. Boast. I just don't understand why you don't go back home.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I really don't get why you're here.

[Brett Morris]

I really think it's. You gave up under searching for your almost a decade.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will go back home anyway, so what?

[Brett Morris]

Children need you. What are you doing?

[Nicole Parker]

What is this desire to push me out? Why not just return an email?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

[Nicole Parker]

I will. I will take it to heart. I will. I will. I will visit.

[Brett Morris]

Meatballs, you have not visited since you've left.

[Nicole Parker]

I. I've been gone 15. Nine years. Fifteen to visit, nine to live. I've been back twice.

[Brett Morris]

Fifteen to visit, 9 to live.

[Nicole Parker]

I've been back too. Too. Twice.

[Brett Morris]

I'm so confused by that math.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

25 or 6 to 4.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, well, I was back for my twins 18th birthday and then I was back for.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were they allowed to celebrate together?

[Nicole Parker]

They celebrate. You cannot sleep in the same room. And then I was back for 20. 18. 18. Double Easter.

[Brett Morris]

What's double Easter?

[Nicole Parker]

That's four months after April.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We do another Easter.

[Brett Morris]

You do?

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Why is that?

[Nicole Parker]

Just because. What if he came back again, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if he got the day wrong?

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, modern calendars, right?

[Brett Morris]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Okay. Well, I still think that you should go back home, Mary. I really do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think because you. You clearly had a better life there. And also, you're kind of an unpleasant person.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, here's the thing.

[Brett Morris]

Main reason, all right, sometimes is a little bit. He's a little bit straightforward. Brusque. That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Blunt.

[Brett Morris]

I would just say I don't think that you're ever going to be happy here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I'm trying to say.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, yes, well, you can't control what happens here, you know, in this town.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't manage the project of the people of Dignity Falls.

[Nicole Parker]

Now, here's an issue.

[Brett Morris]

I just think you won't be happy here.

[Nicole Parker]

Then what do I do with my house?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, also it for you.

[Nicole Parker]

Really?

[Brett Morris]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Parker]

And what I do with all my pills.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, you have a lot of pills.

[Nicole Parker]

Will you sell all my pills for me?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, I didn't realize you had a lot of pills. I mean, that didn't come up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It did not come up.

[Brett Morris]

What do you want all these pills for?

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, what do you think? My second and third bedrooms and fourth bathrooms and fifth garages, they're just filled with pills.

[Brett Morris]

Pills.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, now I recognize you.

[Nicole Parker]

I mean, recently I won an award at the pharmacy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I had. It was in the back of my brain, like I know I've seen this person before. And you are the. The two time winner of Millionth Pill.

[Brett Morris]

Is that funny? I asked about that too at the beginning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Isn't that Funny.

[Brett Morris]

It is funny. It's very funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wild. That's crazy.

[Nicole Parker]

And you come out and sing. You sing one of the. I don't. Sure. You don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Millionth pill. Million.

[Nicole Parker]

Folk song.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, is it. Oh, was that. Did we copy them for Peter and the Wolf? Did Tchaikovsky copy him?

[Nicole Parker]

This is the pill. I get myself the millionth pill. I mean, of course you. You have a connection.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. Of course I do have a connection.

[Brett Morris]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So it's. Yeah, it's in my blood.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, Uncle Mary, best of luck to you. Best of luck to you.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I will leave my house in pills.

[Brett Morris]

I think that sounds like a plan. Truly?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely. We'll take care of it for you.

[Nicole Parker]

Yeah, Great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Just go home. Go home, be with your family.

[Nicole Parker]

Okay. Do you have. Send me the money.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Nicole Parker]

We'll figure it out in the cash app. To.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To go home. Or. Or once you sell the house, that's.

[Brett Morris]

Going to be all taken care of.

[Nicole Parker]

You buy and sell pills.

[Brett Morris]

Right. Well, I mean that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't really.

[Brett Morris]

I don't really categorize your job that way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Doug]

By the way, dealer, your cousin's at the tavern like every Wednesday.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, my God. What? Doug?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By.

[Brett Morris]

How do you know that?

[Doug]

Cuz he's talk. He just talks me posts and rants about America.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, he also rants about America. He doesn't like it here.

[Brett Morris]

That's a hell of a thing to just throw out here at the end when he's been looking for him. You know what?

[Nicole Parker]

Do me a favor. Maybe you sell my house, maybe you sell my pills. And don't let him know that I was here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Okay. I hope he's not a listener.

[Brett Morris]

He might be. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know that for a fact? You brought it up. The podcast.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Nicole Parker]

Well, I mean, it seems like every American has a. What we say traditionally when we leave each other. Martini and Rossi Aspumanti. When you've got good taste, let it show.

[Brett Morris]

Wonderful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, thank you, Uncle Mary.

[Nicole Parker]

Oh, and here's your sneeze.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, thank you. And I do have to worry about that.

[Brett Morris]

Yes, you do have to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So we'll do that during the break. More with the Neighbor Listen. When the Neighbor Listen returns.

[Brett Morris]

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[Nicole Parker]

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[Brett Morris]

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[Brett Morris]

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[Nicole Parker]

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[Brett Morris]

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[Paul F. Tompkins]

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[Nicole Parker]

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[Brett Morris]

Y' all, it's Debra Jo. I got an animal cage. 50 bucks. Originally used to display cats. That's right. I don't want to answer any follow up questions about what that means display cats. All you need to know is they were sick of being displayed, those cats and they organized a coup and they're gone now. So come get these. Animal cage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Well, that was Mary.

[Brett Morris]

That was Mary, everybody.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope it's okay that I said you seem like an unpleasant person. Because he really did.

[Brett Morris]

I mean, yeah, I mean, sometimes you really are a little blunt, but. And I sometimes worry about our guests because, you know, we don't want anyone to exit here feeling bad about themselves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would be okay if he did. I mean, all he did was he complained non stop.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, I think he's just in a lot of pain. I actually do, I think he's homesick.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's very generous.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, maybe it is.

[Doug]

They call him the Meepos Marauder.

[Brett Morris]

I'm sorry, what, baby?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why did that happen?

[Doug]

I'm working on this, you know, news reporting.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, no, I completely forgot. I get it, I get it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. You're doing that thing.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Good job.

[Doug]

I know you like that, Bert.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I love it when a newscaster does that. They call him the mayor of Southwest. This area. Man greets passengers as they come off Southwest airline planes.

[Brett Morris]

That's too good. Burnt. That's really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's great. Well, you know, that's something. I, I, I've always liked newscasters when I was a kid. They seem very authoritative.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, yeah, especially like the local, local people. Oh, you Know who we used to love, and I think he just passed away was Tim Triman.

[Brett Morris]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he was on the local news for dozens of years. And he became a very comforting figure. And even in his. In his old age.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When he would start like telling people that the. The. The retribution was at hand. Yeah. You know, things like that.

[Doug]

And his eyes got so bloodshot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So bloodshot. Red rimmed eyes.

[Brett Morris]

He started doing the news in his pajamas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not. Not like a cool Howard Beal way.

[Brett Morris]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anyway, he. He died recently. He. A piano fell on him. All right, we have time for one.

[Doug]

That's cruel.

[Brett Morris]

You know what, Doug? It was so cruel. Yeah, it was cruel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. It was on a boat and there was high. The seas were rough. And this piano that was in one of the lounges, it slid just in the right way. Just in the right way.

[Brett Morris]

Just in the. Impossibly tipped over. Fell off the deck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And then as it. The ship was right. Writing itself. He was in the wrong place. He was just taking a stroll.

[Doug]

I didn't think that the. The in memoriam was very appropriate. The guy was playing the piano. Suspended.

[Brett Morris]

That was unfair.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was unfair.

[Brett Morris]

And also, I'm surprised they spent so much money on a memoriam for him like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just one guy.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A lot of people died that way. They didn't include anyone else.

[Brett Morris]

It looked like a closing ceremony of the Olympics or something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly.

[Brett Morris]

Now you have one last post.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, we got one last post. This is from Morris. And this is in the recommendations. And this is more as writing about someone who cleaned his pool. And I'm going to read this the way that it sort of is formatted.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Because it sounds sort of like a poem. It presents itself as. Milton cleaned my pool. He cleaned the surface tiles and filters. He checked the water quality. He balanced the chemicals. The pool looked better after. I appreciate his work. I would recommend his services. Message me for his number.

[Brett Morris]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it's accompanied by a couple pictures of really nice looking pool.

[Brett Morris]

Do you know, I heard like. Like Chopin playing in the background when you read that. Do you know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do.

[Brett Morris]

Just something so elegant. It was like four haikus put together.

[Doug]

All of those lines were separate, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They were all separate lines. Yes, they were all new thoughts.

[Brett Morris]

Boy, that's amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Beautiful.

[Brett Morris]

It really is beautiful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And imagine being Milton.

[Brett Morris]

Right. I really hope that gets to Milton.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope Milton sees this.

[Brett Morris]

I'm not sure respect has ever been paid so much to a pool man before.

[Doug]

I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think so.

[Doug]

He's not that good either.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, you know, Melton, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Why do you say he's not that, that good, Doug?

[Doug]

I mean, he's, he, he uses that thing and, you know, gets some of the leaves out the skimmer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, then net with the lawn.

[Doug]

And then he just dumps the leaves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right by the pool and doesn't clean them up. Leaves them there.

[Doug]

No, he just says, I got them out of your pool. I'm not, I'm wondering. I'm not Landman.

[Brett Morris]

I'm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I can't begin to follow that.

[Doug]

I, I mean, he's, he's like, it's before the show. This is like, I'm a pool man, not a Landman.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is that?

[Doug]

Cleaning your land.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, because now the leaves are on land.

[Brett Morris]

I see. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're no longer as jurisdiction.

[Brett Morris]

You would have thought he would have said, I'm not a gardener, but you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. She's trying to make sure you cover everything on land.

[Brett Morris]

All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I mean, the pools in this, the pool in this picture looks fabulous. Are you sure it's not just you? Maybe Milton has an issue.

[Brett Morris]

That's what I was going to say. Because whenever Milton would come over to do our pool, he would just stand right there, like right behind him, right on his shoulder.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that.

[Brett Morris]

He'd be like, Mr. Leaf. You know, it was just, it was very antagonizing and I don't think he appreciated people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People don't like that when they have a, A job that's a spe. A specific job like that they don't like.

[Doug]

I really don't mean it negatively. I just tend to chatter too much with them. I got my hand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Chatter is sort of saying things like, you missed a leaf.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Necessarily saying in other situations.

[Doug]

Yeah, I see a boat bogey over there. You know, stuff like that. Bogey, three o' clock. Yeah, I thought they would like it. I thought Milton would like it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think Milton like it.

[Doug]

Didn't like it at all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you so much. We will be back next week with a new episode. If you'd like to hear ad free versions of the episodes and have access to our bonus content, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus tier. And you know, the bonus content is, you know, it's us sometimes talking about Dignity Falls traditions. Other things in Dignity Falls we haven't explored sometime. Sometimes it's us watching a movie together, which is a lot of fun. Sometimes it's other people's podcasts. Other people in Dignity Falls who have podcasts and an episode of theirs gets run in our feed. I still don't understand how that happens. They somehow pirate our podcast, our RSS feed and get them in there. But you can hear it all cbb world.com, the maximus tier. We'll be back with another guest next week, and until then, goodbye and bye.

[Brett Morris]

All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins and me.

[Doug]

Nicole Parker and me Brett Morris.

[Brett Morris]

This episode's guest was played by Chris Grace.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.

[Brett Morris]

Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free, as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.