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Paul F. Tompkins
Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.
Nicole Parker
And I'm Nicole Parker.
Paul F. Tompkins
On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.
Nicole Parker
Occasionally, we change the names of some.
Paul F. Tompkins
Streets, and that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.
Nicole Parker
And now, please enjoy this episode of the Neighborhood.
Paul F. Tompkins
Listen. Knock, knock.
Nicole Parker
Who's there?
Paul F. Tompkins
Your neighbor.
Nicole Parker
Good in dignity fall. You've got the neighbor half AV and.
Paul F. Tompkins
Us, Vern and Joan.
Nicole Parker
From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.
Paul F. Tompkins
We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.
Nicole Parker
We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood.
Paul F. Tompkins
Listen. Welcome once more. And for the final time this season.
Nicole Parker
Just this season, not final time. Don't get worried. It's not final. Final.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right. I. I did say this season.
Nicole Parker
I know you did.
Paul F. Tompkins
Immediately.
Nicole Parker
I think I was saying, for me, I got really sad for a minute. I think I was like, oh, no, I can't imagine. I can't imagine. I can't imagine ever. I ever. What is it? What is it? The one. What? I know it's already not a movie podcast and we're already talking about a movie.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not a movie.
Nicole Parker
But, you know, famously, in Sound of Music, you know, when she goes to the Mother Abbess, you know, and she says, I. I can't, I can't. And she says, what is it? Oh, someone just turned the volume up really high and burns ears. And he made a face I've never seen him make before.
Paul F. Tompkins
That was like.
Nicole Parker
We are off to a quite a start.
Paul F. Tompkins
I felt like I was at Gitmo and they were trying to get some information out of me.
Nicole Parker
But you've never been to Gitmo, right? Burnt.
Duke
Right.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think. Not that I know of.
Nicole Parker
What I was going to say is, you know that famous line, mother Abbess? And she says, what is it? What is this? You can't face right now.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm not familiar with this.
Nicole Parker
Oh, you got to look it up. It's real funny. That's incredible because that's really what she says.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's incredible.
Nicole Parker
Definitely what she says. Sweet mother abductor.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you think the actors didn't like each other?
Nicole Parker
Yes, absolutely. Everyone hated Julie Andrews.
Paul F. Tompkins
Famous monster.
Nicole Parker
Famous monster. But yes. I can't imagine our final episode. So I got really sad and I. And I had to convince myself, no, it's Only for now. Only for now.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. I'm gonna. I'm gonna restart the introduction because we really didn't get that.
Nicole Parker
Can you. How are your ears? Can you. Are you okay?
Paul F. Tompkins
I could do with a little less of my cans right now. That was helpful. Thank you very much, Doug. We'll meet our engineer in one second.
Nicole Parker
He will be our engineer in one second. Right now. He's not.
Paul F. Tompkins
The engineer will reveal. You're on probation right now, so welcome to the Neighborhood Listen for the final time this season. Of course, we will be back next season, but this is our season finale. This is the Neighborhood Listen, the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. For through the eyes of its inhabitants, I am one of them. My name is Burt Miapede. I am the chief. Well, pharmacist in chief. I should. I could have said chief pharmacist has gotten away with it.
Nicole Parker
You totally could have. You totally could have.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's the same thing. It's just.
Nicole Parker
I know. It's a real hang up. The pharmacist in chief is a real hang up. It turns out it's just. It's a mouthful. It really is.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's like, you know who I feel like? Spider man from the 1960s cartoon.
Nicole Parker
Why is that?
Paul F. Tompkins
Wherever there's a hang up. Because they say. They say this was not for children. No, because the theme song ends by saying to him, life is a great big hang up. Wherever there's a hang up, you'll find the spider man.
Nicole Parker
Wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
That's bleak.
Paul F. Tompkins
And there was something about that.
Nicole Parker
Sounds like the way someone's dad talks. Yeah. It's not for kids.
Paul F. Tompkins
Life is a great big hang up.
Nicole Parker
Exactly, dude.
Paul F. Tompkins
Don Draper. Who wrote this? Roger Sterling. It was a very bleak cartoon in the way that it looked.
Nicole Parker
I'm not familiar with.
Paul F. Tompkins
It sounded. Oh, do yourself a disfavor and look up some clips on YouTube.
Nicole Parker
Sounds great.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's a bummer.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Anyway, my name is Bert Miapede. I'm the pharmacist in chief of the Dignity Fallsbase.
Nicole Parker
And with me, as always, is Joan Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here in Dignity Falls. And local actress.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's correct. We couldn't be happier to be together.
Nicole Parker
It's so true.
Paul F. Tompkins
Celebrating a wonderful season.
Nicole Parker
Yes. And did we decided this was season. Season, Nate. Was that what this was? We never decided we after all that. But I think season Nate. I remember saying I liked that the best.
Paul F. Tompkins
I like that.
Nicole Parker
Okay, I'm gonna say because it's season eight, but you go right into season Nate, Great.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm gonna say let's not bother at this point. It's the last episode of the season. This season went unnamed.
Nicole Parker
You can't take it away from me. You can't make me not think of it as season eight. Of course.
Paul F. Tompkins
I cannot control your mind.
Nicole Parker
I'm reclaiming my season eight.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. Maxine Waters. And of course, we have Joan's husband, Doug, our engineer now.
Nicole Parker
Our engineer, yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Who is in another part of the home. He record remotely from not that far away. I don't quite understand why, but let's talk to him. Doug, how are you doing?
Doug
I'm good. How are you?
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm okay. Doug, are you. Is there someone there with you? Are you okay?
Nicole Parker
Yeah. He's talking like. Like. Like he's. Yeah, like. Like he's in danger or something.
Doug
For some reason, I feel like I've never been on Mike before in this moment.
Nicole Parker
Really? Why do you think you feel like that?
Paul F. Tompkins
Why do you think you feel like that, Doug?
Doug
I don't know. I think there's something about this room I'm in.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh.
Doug
Oh, it just. It's the oracle cave.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy.
Paul F. Tompkins
Another cave.
Nicole Parker
I asked for him not to do another cave. I can't handle another cave.
Doug
Less about the cave and more about the oracle.
Nicole Parker
We now have three caves. It's less about the cave and more about the oracle. So is there anything cave like about the room? Oh, thank God.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not.
Nicole Parker
It doesn't look like a cave.
Duke
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay. What. What is that?
Doug
It's just stone. And I mean, you can't monopolize a cave.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is the absence of some rock, essentially.
Doug
But, I mean, some rock left over.
Nicole Parker
Okay, but why is it a cave? What do you mean by oracle Cave? So what. What's freaking you out about it?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, let's get off the cave part and start talking about that oracle, because.
Nicole Parker
That'S what you want us to focus on. But you just said it's more about the oracle.
Paul F. Tompkins
Joan could talk about the cave all day, but you have your agenda.
Nicole Parker
That's right.
Doug
There's a little kind of a pool of water in the middle.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Doug
That's where the oracle will sit.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I know. He's thinking. I know I haven't been in there to see it, but I guarantee you it looks like romancy. The stone, if you remember that. Do you remember how? The very end?
Paul F. Tompkins
Of course I don't. Have I seen it? Yes. Do I remember even one second of it?
Nicole Parker
You can't even give me a classic burnt. Here are the three Things I remember. For romantic.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, I remember nothing. Oh, wait.
Nicole Parker
Could you guess?
Doug
I remember one thing.
Nicole Parker
Go for it.
Paul F. Tompkins
One thing.
Nicole Parker
Okay. I'm so. I love it when we do these.
Paul F. Tompkins
I believe it is Michael Douglas sliding down a hill into Kathleen Turner's crotch.
Nicole Parker
Correct.
Paul F. Tompkins
The one thing I remember.
Nicole Parker
You got that right.
Paul F. Tompkins
And of course. Sorry. Number two.
Nicole Parker
I knew it. I knew you had some.
Paul F. Tompkins
The theme song sung by Eddie Grant of Electric Avenue Fame, and it went like. Of course. I can't sing more than one note.
Doug
That part I could almost sing.
Nicole Parker
Avenue.
Doug
Oh, very good.
Nicole Parker
That's another song you could do.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
Oh, excellent.
Paul F. Tompkins
I can't do the beginning. I can't do.
Nicole Parker
We're gonna rock down. I think we have a B side now for you, Burton. I mean, we really have a lot of songs now.
Paul F. Tompkins
This is gonna be an incredible medley.
Doug
You know what?
Paul F. Tompkins
But he sings I'm Romance.
Nicole Parker
Yep, that was the chorus. That's right. I'm a meds in the stove Never.
Paul F. Tompkins
Leaving your poor heart alone well, I.
Nicole Parker
Loved this movie, and so I watched it several times back.
Paul F. Tompkins
You changed the tune.
Nicole Parker
Did I? I see. Yeah. That's how I remembered in my head, you know, that you had no tune, though, right? You don't want. You only sang it on one note. I'm just saying.
Paul F. Tompkins
You don't have to rub it in.
Nicole Parker
I'm just saying.
Paul F. Tompkins
I know I can only sing one note.
Nicole Parker
It's just kind of funny for you to correct me on the melody when you just say.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, I'm not correcting you on the melody. I'm saying that's a different song and I can't place it.
Nicole Parker
Okay, well, I. But say it again. No, I feel like I'm wrong. I thought it was I'm Romancing the Stone, but that's probably wrong. That's probably wrong.
Paul F. Tompkins
That is something else, though. That tune is something else.
Nicole Parker
Oh, it is. Okay, well, it's not Romancing the Stone anyways. They're trying to find the stone, and when they finally find it, it's supposed to be different.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's romance.
Nicole Parker
They have this. They have this. It's in a cave, and it's supposed to be like. It's a Leche de Madre. It's like mother's milk. Because they're reading this. This. This map. This map they've been following. You don't even remember. Like, my little mule, Pepe. You know, the guy who, like, drives.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely not.
Nicole Parker
I can't wait for listeners to get back to us about this. But. No, actually, I Can't remember the character's name. But no, this was a man. And I'm not going to know exactly where he's from. But no, he's actually. I'm embarrassed. I can't remember his name right now because he actually went on to do many things. He's fant.
Paul F. Tompkins
Good for him.
Nicole Parker
But yes, they end up in a cave, and then there's milk dripping down from a stalactite. Stalactite. Oh, right. It's not really milk. It just is white. And so that's probably why they need that.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's not better. That's disgusting.
Nicole Parker
Anyways, Doug and I, we love Romancing the Stone. So is that what you made it look like, babe?
Doug
Yes, just like that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because you love this movie.
Nicole Parker
He loves this movie.
Paul F. Tompkins
You both love it. Doug, that includes you.
Nicole Parker
We love it. It's one of those movies that, you know, you turn it on, and if it's like, turn on the TV and it's in the middle of the mov. Wherever it is, we're sitting, watch it.
Doug
I've never seen the beginning.
Nicole Parker
You what?
Doug
I've only started in the middle.
Nicole Parker
Is that true, man? So he loves the second half of Romancing the Stone.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you know, recently, I finally saw Greece in chronological order.
Nicole Parker
Oh, really?
Paul F. Tompkins
I had seen scenes from Greece, really? Over the years. This one, that one. Never saw them all in a row. And I finally, for the first time, and I realized, yes, I've seen this entire movie, just not in the way it was. Really? I saw a weird cut that was my own cut.
Nicole Parker
Okay, your own cut?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. That took the. Took place over decades.
Nicole Parker
That's quite a way to watch a movie.
Paul F. Tompkins
But now, Romancing the Stone. I have seen Hide nor Hair of this movie.
Nicole Parker
Danny DeVito's in it. He's very funny.
Paul F. Tompkins
I remember that.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Does that count as a thing?
Nicole Parker
I remember. I think so.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. I remember the three leads. And then they did a sequel.
Nicole Parker
They did. It was called Jewel of the Nile.
Paul F. Tompkins
Jewel of the Nile, yes.
Nicole Parker
And it didn't do as well. And then they tried to do War of the Roses years later.
Paul F. Tompkins
Not the same characters.
Nicole Parker
Yes, but it was kind of supposed to be like a threequel, but it was just getting the gang back together.
Paul F. Tompkins
Danny was also in that one.
Nicole Parker
Correct. Not a movie podcast. I want to reiterate. This is about.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not a movie. It's about the neighborhood.
Nicole Parker
Can we go back to the Oracle? Why is it bothering you? So how does this work? Do you go in and you ask, oh, Doug sounds mad. There he got a little up in here. Okay, Doug, we had a little.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, we'll check in with the Oracle very quickly. And then you have to go back to talking about romance.
Doug
If I could talk about Greece for one second, please.
Paul F. Tompkins
Please.
Doug
You know what's been giving me a chuckle lately?
Paul F. Tompkins
What's that, Doug? Oh, I like this new seg. It's time for Doug's Chuckle. Take it away, Doug.
Doug
All right. You know, I was listening to some old doo wop.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
You don't like the first stuff? I like the first stuff.
Doug
And, you know, it's just great music and all the, you know, like the Ronettes and fantastic teenage love songs.
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Doug
And then I wrote. I completely had forgotten the association with, like, kind of New York. Greece. Like, like, kind of guys in New York who are in gang.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm imagining you imagining you, like, jerking your shoulders up.
Nicole Parker
Did you hear the shoulders going up and down?
Paul F. Tompkins
Like, I could hear his shoulders.
Doug
Like, tough guys and gangs who are listening to, like. It's really. It's just a funny.
Paul F. Tompkins
Around Trash can full of fire.
Doug
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Except for Where Were They? I know was shot in Los Angeles, but where is it supposed to take place? I can't remember. I know there's probably a town that they name. Right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, it's Rydell High.
Nicole Parker
Right.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know.
Doug
But even.
Nicole Parker
But that's based on California. I don't know.
Doug
Maybe I'm based on a real culture of guys back then, though.
Nicole Parker
I see. And. And so. And that just struck you.
Doug
Yeah. Like, there's actual gangs who are getting into trouble.
Paul F. Tompkins
And there was guys walking around that looked like Fonzie. Yeah. That were. Yeah.
Doug
Hitting each other with chains and doo.
Nicole Parker
Wop is like, that exists.
Paul F. Tompkins
That would fire them up.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
Yeah.
Doug
This is a real thing.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
And by the way, that's been giving you a chuckle. That's what's been giving.
Doug
Imagine them walking down the street. These are guys. Well, I see that gave you two a chuckle.
Nicole Parker
It's time for Burton Jones chuckle.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, Doug's having a chuckle. Imagining greasers beating each other up listening to music.
Doug
These were tough guys you were. You were actually afraid of back then, you know?
Nicole Parker
Yeah, Yeah, I get that.
Doug
Troublemakers.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Doug
Then they listen to the nicest music.
Nicole Parker
Button.
Paul F. Tompkins
Pretty little.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Music that does not sound threatening or menacing in any way. That is true.
Paul F. Tompkins
I didn't do pretty little in July.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, it was really good. You are getting two tones sometimes.
Paul F. Tompkins
No. Am I really?
Nicole Parker
Near the end of the season. Every time you seem to get a few tone extra wow. It's hap. It's happened before.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow, that's exciting.
Nicole Parker
We really need to track your musical journey. If we went back to the beginning.
Paul F. Tompkins
I really do.
Nicole Parker
We'll get to it. But I really need to know about the oracle and why it's weirding you out, babe.
Doug
Well, my mother fancies herself an oracle.
Paul F. Tompkins
What's her name again?
Nicole Parker
Really?
Paul F. Tompkins
What's your mom's name again?
Doug
Beautiful.
Nicole Parker
Beautiful.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right. I knew Beautiful Corn. That's What a lovely name.
Nicole Parker
Well, I mean, that wasn't her maiden name, of course.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. What was her maiden name?
Doug
Crueler.
Paul F. Tompkins
Crueler.
Doug
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
C R U E L E R. Yeah.
Doug
Like the donut.
Nicole Parker
No. I knew he was gonna make that joke. He always does. Yes, she was. Really? Yeah. People were so rude that they would. They would actually call her by. They call her Crawler. And that was somehow more upsetting to her and being teased for being named Crueler.
Doug
Well, the name Beautiful Corn.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. So that's why, of course, she took Doug's dad's name. Of course. Beautiful Corn. And that's her name.
Paul F. Tompkins
Beautiful Corn.
Nicole Parker
And. Sorry, why were we talking about your mom again?
Paul F. Tompkins
And what's your dad's name again?
Doug
Flip.
Paul F. Tompkins
Flip. Course. Flip.
Doug
And be short for Flipper. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, short for Flipper. Yeah. Okay.
Doug
We always call him Flip.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Really? Well, since you were kids, you didn't call him dad.
Doug
It was kind of interchangeable. You could say Papa Flip Or Popcorn. We never said that.
Nicole Parker
That was Jones Chuckle.
Paul F. Tompkins
That was Jones Chuckle. All right.
Doug
He would get furious if you said that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Popcorn. Why?
Doug
You called him Popcorn.
Nicole Parker
Oh, Popcorn. Yeah. That wasn't allowed. It was the only time. Somehow that was better.
Paul F. Tompkins
Popcorn.
Nicole Parker
Sounds like that Chaka Khan.
Paul F. Tompkins
Exactly.
Nicole Parker
Y. I love it when we're on the same page.
Paul F. Tompkins
I do, too. But Oracle.
Doug
I've always wanted her an oracle.
Nicole Parker
Wait, why does she think she's an oracle?
Paul F. Tompkins
This is a long held desire of yours to give Beautiful Corn. And Oracle.
Nicole Parker
Don't let De Beers know. Everyone's going to be going for Oracle Cave now. They're going to be out of business.
Doug
She's always giving people fortunes and predictions.
Nicole Parker
Has she ever been right about them?
Doug
Yeah, oftentimes.
Paul F. Tompkins
What's her hit? Really? What's her hit rate? And be honest.
Doug
I think over 50%.
Nicole Parker
What's one of the. What's one? An example. What's one? An example.
Paul F. Tompkins
What's one? An example. That's an expression here in Dignity Falls. What's one? An example.
Nicole Parker
Yes. I'm calling a. Such as of a fortune she gave someone. And it came true.
Doug
She predicted that Carl's Jr. Or Hardee's would never come into this town.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Doug
So far she's right.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Technically. Because Hardee's Jr. Did come to town.
Nicole Parker
It did. Yeah.
Doug
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Which has nothing to do with either one of those.
Doug
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Completely unaffiliated. It's Tom Hardy's restaurant.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. And everyone, no matter who works at the Drive Thru, their voice is like, order.
Paul F. Tompkins
You have order. Take control of your order. Do you know, I hear that pain voice whenever I get something from FedEx. They send you an email. When you read the email, like the tracking email, and it will always say, take control of your order.
Doug
Babe, do you remember, you know what.
Nicole Parker
I have to say? Hang on just a second. I have to say.
Paul F. Tompkins
Hold on a second.
Nicole Parker
I'm sorry. Was that too dismissive of you? Babe, I apologize.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, I, I, it's probably enough for me to say you started first.
Nicole Parker
I got excited saying there was a big response from your Forest Whitaker, a Rogue One character voice that you did last week. And now I feel like those two need to have a conversation between voice.
Paul F. Tompkins
You come here, you try to tell me. I tell you, and thank you. You know, in the dig chord, somebody explained what his whole thing was.
Nicole Parker
Oh, is that right?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, he's.
Nicole Parker
Did you retain it?
Paul F. Tompkins
Did you retain it?
Nicole Parker
Were you able to remember information?
Paul F. Tompkins
He was one of the good guys. He was a rebel, but he was an extremist.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And so the regular Rebel alliance was maybe a little leery of getting involved with him because he was ready to use all kinds of violence and methods to thwart the Empire.
Nicole Parker
And so. And that's why his vocal cords were shot?
Paul F. Tompkins
No, I remember why his vocal cords were shot.
Nicole Parker
Oh, why?
Paul F. Tompkins
Because he was some kind of mechanic or something and he worked with these dangerous fumes.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And so after a while, he stopped protecting himself from them and would just, like, breathe them in. And he got a young guy who was, you know, kind of, he was mentoring to do the same thing. It looked like a terrible idea. And because the guy, basically, he's saying, you get used to it. But then when you see him in Rogue One, which is after the events of Andor, he is, of course, using a Frank Boohoo style. The oxygen mask.
Nicole Parker
I mean, how many movies have we talked about in just the Last Boy?
Paul F. Tompkins
A few. More than a few. And a couple TV shows.
Nicole Parker
And a couple TV shows. We started to branch out. Okay, so. So you always wanted to build her an oracle cave. Why? Because can she get like a closer, like sense of an or of like, of what the fortune's gonna be. If there's a cave.
Doug
Yeah. She can take clients in there.
Nicole Parker
She's gonna take. Your mom is gonna do business out of our house.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Doug
Remember, babe, she knew when you were pregnant before anyone else.
Nicole Parker
Well, yeah, but she said it was gonna be. She didn't predict the second one. She. What she predicted was I was pregnant with the twins, but she only said was going to be one. And we all know that the second boy was a surprise and came 24 hours later. Of course I'm talking about my twins, Matt and Matt and. Nope, nope. Which is what I said when he came out.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know, I never heard that story. And I always wondered.
Nicole Parker
Yep, it was. No, no, no, I'm not taking that one. I was told by my mother in law, Beautiful told me that I was having only one Beautiful Corn told me. Beautiful Corn told me. And she's never wrong. She's got a pretty good rate.
Doug
I call him nope squared sometimes.
Nicole Parker
Yes, we do. Sometimes.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's fun. It's fun.
Doug
It is fun.
Nicole Parker
It is fun. It is fun. I think sometimes he feels a little about it because, I mean, if there was ever the time when you felt like you were like the accident child, I mean, that the name would indicate.
Paul F. Tompkins
That, you know, I've always wondered if I was because I, of course, I'm an only child of. Only children.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And I've often wondered if they. If they meant to have a child since they were only children themselves. Did they. Did they want. You could. You could see it going either way, that either they would say, well, we want to have a child because, you know, we don't want it to be just us. Or they could say, no, I did not grow up with any children, so why would I want that?
Nicole Parker
And you never talked to them about it?
Paul F. Tompkins
No, we didn't talk a lot, me and my grandmother.
Nicole Parker
Every time I hear about your childhood. Did you ever explain where Burnt came from and how they decided to name you?
Paul F. Tompkins
That it was something to do with our Corsican heritage.
Nicole Parker
Okay, yes, I know that.
Paul F. Tompkins
But my mom used to call me Berndti.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's sort of cute.
Paul F. Tompkins
And my dad used to call me Mr. Burnt.
Nicole Parker
Okay, that seems so formal. When did he start doing that? How young did that start?
Paul F. Tompkins
As far back as I can remember.
Nicole Parker
Oh, dear.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, yeah. He would do it in front of.
Nicole Parker
Other people, look at a toddler and say, Mr. Burnt.
Paul F. Tompkins
Mr. Burns. A little Mr. Burns. Yeah, he was. My dad was very formal.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, we shook hands a lot.
Nicole Parker
Really?
Paul F. Tompkins
We shook hands. I would go to bed, we would shake hands. You say, Goodnight, Mr. Burns.
Nicole Parker
I have never heard of a good night handshake.
Paul F. Tompkins
I would say, goodnight, sir.
Nicole Parker
Oh, de.
Paul F. Tompkins
He would say, would you like me to turn off this light? And I would say, I would appreciate it.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wow. Oh my goodness. But this, really, every time I get a little window into your childhood, it explains a whole lot. So can you tell me, babe, when your mom is going to be coming and doing this and how often what her hours are going to be? Oh yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
What are her oracle hours?
Nicole Parker
What? Her oracle is for anyone who wants to listen. I mean, who is listening and wants to come in. Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you want to have your fortune.
Doug
Told in the dead of night.
Nicole Parker
No, that's not. Are you kidding me? We can't do that. I can't immediately.
Paul F. Tompkins
What do you consider the dead of night?
Doug
Darkest before dawn.
Nicole Parker
That's not true. Not. That's a. That's another sentence that doesn't have anything to do with what he just asked.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's also. I guess it is. That's one of those. That's one of those expressions where it's like.
Nicole Parker
Okay, exactly.
Paul F. Tompkins
Fine.
Doug
Yeah, I would say probably three to four.
Nicole Parker
I don't want people coming into our house.
Doug
Never had a real career of her own and she's really inspired right now.
Nicole Parker
Oh, she is. Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why?
Nicole Parker
By what, like, are like the oracles really, like really hitting really hard right now or something? Is it like the season or.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oracle's popping off currently.
Nicole Parker
That's what I was looking for.
Doug
Well, she sucks. There's a company.
Paul F. Tompkins
I thought you really. She sucks.
Doug
No, no, I don't. I think she's just being more reflective and she's just. Just thinks, you know, she always should have done this.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Doug
And I said as.
Paul F. Tompkins
As a job instead of just.
Nicole Parker
What does she charge for a reading?
Doug
It's usually kind of a barter system.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense.
Duke
Yeah.
Doug
Items of value.
Paul F. Tompkins
A chicken.
Nicole Parker
Oh boy. Yeah, I feel like this would be very disruptive to our sleep and to our home. Babe, I have to say.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh yeah. Where is the oracle cave in relation to say, like your bedroom room?
Doug
You got to go down to the left. It's.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't. Come on down to the left of what? You can't just say down to the.
Nicole Parker
Left of the fire pole. Cuz of course you put a fire pole in the corner of the. That's a powerful fire pole in the corner of the bedroom. So that's what he means. You have to go down to the left.
Doug
I kind of converted the mud room into the Oracle.
Nicole Parker
Yes. Because we're not really allowed to have mudrooms in Dignity Falls. Everyone sort of has to disguise them as other things, you know, We've discussed that. But we.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, we've discussed.
Nicole Parker
Well, we've discussed.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's no need to get into it again. Yes.
Nicole Parker
But I also want to tell you that you know that the boys are going to do weird shit down there because, like, they'll hide in the reflective pool. I know, it's the lat. Listen, I have not swore at Harley at all this season, okay? And I get.
Doug
I'm not coming at you.
Nicole Parker
Yes, you are. You gave me a bit, you know. I can feel your shoulders. You were doing one of those Grease Savage Dug impressions. One of those. One of those. One of those Grease guys, you know, like, do up.
Paul F. Tompkins
He tagged it with a doo wop. Did you ever see Video? I saw video of Shanana. This is around the time when they would have been, you know, opening Woodstock and so forth. But when they. They were.
Nicole Parker
This is the guy with like, Bowser, right?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes, John Bowser.
Nicole Parker
Balance correct. Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
With the Big Mouth. Not to be confused with Martha Ray the Big Mouth.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy.
Paul F. Tompkins
Who did Polygen commercials or fixed event. I can't remember which.
Nicole Parker
It doesn't matter.
Paul F. Tompkins
And this video, I'm gonna try to find it for you.
Nicole Parker
Okay? Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because they are doing the Get A Job song.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
And it's a bunch of them crowded around a mic and they look like. They look like street guys. Like they are.
Nicole Parker
They actually look scary.
Paul F. Tompkins
They're not. They don't look like they're in 50s costumes. They look like dudes that would literally rumble.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Doug
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
And they are singing the fastest, most urgent version of Get A Job you've ever heard.
Nicole Parker
Is that one.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Doug
What's the song? That's like a Ding Dong. What's that one?
Nicole Parker
That sounds like Blue Moon to me.
Paul F. Tompkins
It is blue. I can't do Blue Moon.
Nicole Parker
It sets your pocket, man. I gotta tell you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right in my sweet spot.
Nicole Parker
Your sweet spot? Yeah. Well, okay. I would love to see that because that would pro. It sounds. Sounds like it would be another chuckle for me, but I have to tell you, I really don't want Madden. Nope, nope. Down there.
Paul F. Tompkins
You can't have Madden. Nope, nope. Going down.
Doug
Now, you're not supposed to look into the reflective pool on your own without an oracle to guide you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wait, so she. So is the idea that Beautiful will sit at the edge of the reflective pool and gaze into it and then say, here's what I see. Great question, Joe.
Nicole Parker
I was picturing romancing this st. Which is tiny.
Paul F. Tompkins
I have no frame of reference. Wait, tiny?
Nicole Parker
It's like the size of a cocktail table top. You know what exactly would. Now that immediately. I know. It lets you know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. Like a three top.
Nicole Parker
Sure. Exactly.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, yeah. The high stools.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nicole Parker
That's what I thought it was. Is it bigger than that, babe?
Paul F. Tompkins
It's like table tent advertising the specials.
Nicole Parker
Yes. Is it? What, babe?
Doug
Kiddie pool.
Nicole Parker
It's kiddie pool size.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's a pretty big oracle pool.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. They're definitely gonna hide in it. And they're gonna scare her and it's gonna be a problem.
Paul F. Tompkins
They're gonna hide it. What, like they're gonna bre.
Nicole Parker
You're talking about boys that hid themselves in the walls of my house.
Paul F. Tompkins
Behind a wall. You can't breathe underwater.
Nicole Parker
They'll find a way.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah, they probably will. I know, man. Nope, nope.
Nicole Parker
Tell us about you, Burn. We haven't talked about you at all right now. So what's.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm fine. You know that Billy exceptionally tall pharmacist?
Doug
Yes, Billy Wood snatch.
Nicole Parker
A Billy Wood.
Paul F. Tompkins
A Billy Wood Snatch. The smarmist, I started calling him.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I love that. That's good.
Paul F. Tompkins
He passed away, you know. He was. He was so tall. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Nicole Parker
So tall. This had to do with his death. His height.
Paul F. Tompkins
His height had to do with his.
Doug
The blood was all spread around.
Nicole Parker
Sorry, babe. What's that?
Doug
The blood was all spread around in his body. It was feared that tall, all. It's not getting it.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think that's the standard thing for blood to do.
Doug
It's just swishing around in there.
Paul F. Tompkins
Swishing around.
Nicole Parker
Quite mean by that. What would be the death.
Paul F. Tompkins
What do you quite mean?
Doug
Oh, the blood's got to go to the feet. Then it's like, oh, we gotta get over.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know, you think it's the same.
Doug
Blood.
Nicole Parker
And the blood swears all the time. Now we gotta go.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, Doug's allowed to swear.
Nicole Parker
Exactly. But not me. The blood cells are.
Doug
Yeah, it's the blood cells saying that.
Paul F. Tompkins
A puddle of blood that's traversing the human body.
Doug
He's doing a crossword puzzle. Oh, we got to get back to the brain.
Nicole Parker
Billy would never do. Billy would snatch, but would never do a crossword puzzle.
Doug
No, he certainly would now be the mini.
Nicole Parker
Well, I'm. I don't now. I feel weird asking, but I feel weird not asking. What did he die of? You said he was so tall.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because he was so tall. And his. His height played a factor in his death. He had this. He. He had a birthday party and he rented, you know, stretch Hummer.
Nicole Parker
Of course he did.
Paul F. Tompkins
And he's only got two friends.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's terrible.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Stretch limit for three people.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And so they're in there, and they're just. From what I heard from one of the guys, Gary, it was a pretty grim affair and people were not having fun.
Nicole Parker
Oh, gosh. That was before the death and. Yeah, okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
Before the death. And Billy said, what do I have to do, guys? And he opened up the sunroof, meaning.
Nicole Parker
Just, what do I get to do to just make this party great?
Paul F. Tompkins
To make this fun? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Doug
Oh, so he just knew it was going poorly.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, there was. According to Gary, it was obvious to everyone. They were sitting in silence. Fully stocked bar, no glasses.
Nicole Parker
Oh, dear.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
That is grim.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was grim. The limo driver said, I'm so sorry, my satellite radio isn't working. I'm just gonna sing some songs for you.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
And so he just did some top 40 hits that he could remember.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And didn't have the best voice. Couldn' an entire song.
Nicole Parker
It's very sad.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know, It. It was bad. And he kept repeating. He kept repeating, dress you up in my love. Because that was what he the most of.
Nicole Parker
Okay. But then you said, he. Billy opened the sunroof. Is that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Billy said, what? What is it going to take, fellas?
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
And he opened the sunroof. He said, how about this? This is a thing people do. He opens up the sunroof. They were going under an underpass.
Nicole Parker
Come on. Well, he hereditary himself.
Paul F. Tompkins
He hereditary himself.
Nicole Parker
Oh, my God.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Nicole Parker
That is terrible.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was really. It was. It. I mean, it didn't improve things. The party didn't get better after that, I'll tell you that much.
Doug
I hope the limo driver wasn't continuing to sing.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, my God. Of course he was. At top volume.
Doug
Because he probably didn't notice at first.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, he didn't.
Nicole Parker
Because he put up the window. Is that why? I'm just saying, Doug's very fascinated with, like, you know, whether the limbo driver decides to put up that window. He loves that window.
Doug
That. The window, window.
Paul F. Tompkins
The limo window.
Nicole Parker
Love limo window.
Paul F. Tompkins
Love limo window. It was cracked down a little bit, obviously, so they could hear him singing.
Nicole Parker
Sure, sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
And when he heard the. The head hit.
Nicole Parker
Oh, come on. This is terrible. For our final episode, he thought they.
Paul F. Tompkins
Were stomping their feet in the back. And so he went into we will rock you.
Nicole Parker
This is quite a taste.
Paul F. Tompkins
The guys, they started that perked them up. And they started singing.
Nicole Parker
Give me a break. Admitted to that. Strange that he would be telling you the story. Was ashamed because the body tells that part of the story.
Paul F. Tompkins
The body was.
Nicole Parker
And he died.
Paul F. Tompkins
His shoulders were up there keeping place. No, he's tall. He's tall.
Nicole Parker
Like we have been very clear about the fact that he was tall. And now I feel like we probably should go to a break, even though we really want to leave everybody with that. But we've been talking for too long. And now we just mentioned a terrible death. I think that's a first.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mean, all deaths are terrible if you think about it. But they're also all wonderful because we all die.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no. Who are you? Jody Ernst?
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, we'll be back with more of the neighbor Listen. When the neighbor Listen returns.
Duke
With a $5 meal deal with new McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.
Nicole Parker
Prices and Participation may vary.
Paul F. Tompkins
McDouble meal, $6 in some markets for a limited time only.
Nicole Parker
Hi, everybody, it's Nicole Parker here. Listen. As the temps start rising, I feel that familiar urge to refresh my closet. But I'm not going to waste money on pieces I'll wear once or for just one season. I will not do it. I will not do it. Listen to my lips. I will not do it. Now Quint's all of that. Their clothes are timeless, lightweight and far more elevated than anything else at this price. It finally feels like my wardrobe matches my standards, people. It's like 100% European linen shorts and dresses from $30 luxe swimwear, Italian leather platform sandals, and so much more. And the best part, everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middlemen, Quince gives you luxury without the markup. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing pract and premium fabrics and finishes. And I cannot talk enough about this great lightweight, short sleeve white collared button down shirt that goes with everything. You can dress it up, you can dress it down. It's just fantastic. So give your summer closet an upgrade with quince. Go to quince.com TNL for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns that's Q U-N-.com TNL to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com TNL hi, it's Paul and I.
Paul F. Tompkins
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Nicole Parker
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Paul F. Tompkins
And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen and we have a guest. Joan we do as we always do. We scour the neighborhap, the social networking application for neighborhoods and we look for interesting people in dignity falls with which to speak. With which to speak. With whom to speak, with whom to speak. And this week is no different. And listen, if you see a post that you think we should talk about, maybe we've overlooked it. Why don't you screenshot and send it to us@burntandjonemail.com as this listener did. This comes to us from Monica Thomas. Thank you Monica for sending this in. This is in the Crime and Safety section and it is submitted. It is posted by Duke Duke says okay. This afternoon at about 4:45pm, a red pickup pulled up in my front yard. I went out to ask him if he wanted to run his dog in my yard. He said yes. I explained to him that it is not that I am mean or being an asshole, but I don't want that kind of legal liability. The fence is not in good condition. His dog can get loose and attack other people and he and his dog can get injured on my property. When nothing happens, everybody is happy. But if something happens, I don't want to be held responsible. He said he understood and wouldn't do it again. I feel bad because I might have disappointed him, but I have to protect myself because it is a red Chevy pickup. I couldn't help wondering if he was the one who let a dog poop in my backyard a few days ago, but I didn't ask. He is a very handsome guy with crystal clear bluish green eyes and he talked like a gentleman. I wasn't mad at that guy who let his dog fertilize my lawn either, but it will be better if he led his dog close to the woods. I don't want my lawnmower to run over dog poop. I am Upset when I can't tell who is a thief and who is not. But I know this gentleman is a decent person only wanting to run his dog a little again. My building was vandalized by thieves last year, and I suffered an enormous loss, for which I still haven't recovered. I am here to operate a business, not to offend anyone.
Nicole Parker
Oh, my God.
Paul F. Tompkins
And then there's a brief addendum.
Nicole Parker
Really?
Paul F. Tompkins
He says, I am licensed to practice law. I am. I'm a licensed attorney registered to practice law here. All right.
Nicole Parker
Wow. And we. And here he is, here to tell us his story.
Paul F. Tompkins
If there's any left is Duke.
Duke
No, there's Duke.
Nicole Parker
Oh, hi, Duke.
Paul F. Tompkins
Hello. Welcome to the show.
Duke
Well, it's so nice to have. And that was beautifully read. Oh, I think.
Nicole Parker
Well done, Bernd. He loves how you read his post.
Paul F. Tompkins
Thank you so much. I tried to read it in a reasonable and fair manner.
Duke
See, you were very reasonable. And I wrote that I was very careful with my word choices because I am a lawyer.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
And as it says.
Duke
Yes, as it said very much at the end, it's called a reveal.
Paul F. Tompkins
Very much at the end. It was a reveal.
Nicole Parker
Burn.
Paul F. Tompkins
It was quite a reveal.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Duke
Well, I didn't want someone just starting at the beginning and thinking, oh, this is a lawyer talking.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, smart. Why didn't you want that?
Duke
Because people have a. They have attitudes.
Nicole Parker
They have a preconceived notion.
Duke
They think, this man's going to tell me what's what, and I wasn't. I just wanted you to know about this red pickup truck in my lawn. In the dog.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can I ask you one thing? I'm sorry. So sorry.
Nicole Parker
I mean, I have so many. But you go first.
Duke
You ask me more than one thing.
Nicole Parker
We will. We will.
Paul F. Tompkins
Thank you for that. Leave.
Nicole Parker
I almost kind of want to start doing his accent. We will.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's hard not to. I'm fighting every fiber of my. I understand.
Duke
That's all right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can I tell you, I almost stopped myself when I was reading.
Duke
Did you?
Paul F. Tompkins
Because I thought. Thought. As I was going on, I thought I must have said something wrong.
Duke
No, you said it right. I was very careful with my word.
Paul F. Tompkins
Choice of the red pickup pulled up in front of yard. You went out to ask him if he wanted to run his dog, which I, I, I, I thought like, oh, he's offering.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
But then he said yes. And Duke explained to him that he doesn't want him to.
Duke
I don't. Yeah, Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
I was confused.
Duke
Okay.
Nicole Parker
But here's the deal. Here's the Deal.
Paul F. Tompkins
Here's the deal.
Duke
Here's the deal.
Paul F. Tompkins
Here's the veal.
Duke
Here's the veal.
Nicole Parker
My. My tongue and te. Do the d. Sorry about that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Dentures.
Nicole Parker
No, not dentures. Don't you worry. Not yet, anyhow.
Duke
No, if you. If you are having problems with dentures. Yes, I. I am a lawyer.
Nicole Parker
Oh, good.
Duke
So I can. I can take you to court and sue somebody.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow, that would be quite a case if you were able to sue someone, Right? Because you have problems with your dentures.
Nicole Parker
Accident.
Duke
There's. There's accidentures. Hi, I'm Duke. I'm an accidenture lawyer.
Paul F. Tompkins
Dos, Dos, dos, dos, dos, dos, dos.
Nicole Parker
Oh, are you. Are you really? Oh, okay. I've seen you on the back of buses.
Duke
Accidentures.
Paul F. Tompkins
Accidentures, dude. Oh, yeah, of course. With your signature mustache. Yes. Holding the sign.
Nicole Parker
I've never seen such a blonde mustache before.
Duke
Oh, thank you. It's all natural.
Paul F. Tompkins
I do a double take every time I see it.
Nicole Parker
Same, but it's.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, it is a mustache. It is there.
Duke
When I walk into court, often the judges go, is that real? I said judge. We have this conversation every time. Of course, I already have an objection. I'm objecting to the judge.
Nicole Parker
That's fun.
Duke
Talked about.
Nicole Parker
I love that. That is fun.
Duke
Accident.
Nicole Parker
Accident.
Duke
Problems with your tooth or your teeth? I'm Duke, your accident lawyer.
Nicole Parker
So my question for you, Duke, is why in the world when someone Is.
Paul F. Tompkins
That dude, is that how you want to speak?
Nicole Parker
I didn't.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why in the world.
Nicole Parker
But it was so surprising to me, if someone drove into my driveway, I would not immediately think, oh, they want to run their dog in my lawn.
Duke
No, you wouldn't.
Nicole Parker
I would think, who are you? And a little scared. But it sounds like you actually were very accommodating to him. What did you. What made you think he wanted. Let's start with what made you think he wanted to run his dog?
Duke
Can I.
Paul F. Tompkins
And, dude, can I take a crack at answering?
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Duke
Oh, oh, wait a minute.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
Thank you for saving me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Here's what I think, because it took me a while to put it together.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because there was a previous incident.
Duke
That's it.
Nicole Parker
With this car, with this guy.
Duke
There was. There was some dog poop in my backyard.
Nicole Parker
I understand that.
Duke
No, you should understand.
Nicole Parker
So you weren't asking this in a. A nice way. You were kind of like, are you here to do.
Duke
No, I did ask it in a.
Nicole Parker
Nice way, but you were trying to get information.
Duke
Are you here to run your dog?
Nicole Parker
Oh, like a lawyer. Like a lawyer.
Duke
Excuse me.
Paul F. Tompkins
You never ask your questions.
Duke
I was leading him. I was leading. He said, excuse me. I was looking into his luscious eyes.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes. We will get to the eyes. I have many questions about the eyes.
Duke
Blue is green.
Nicole Parker
Yes. And such a beautiful, illustrative description. I really appreciated that. I am a lawyer, but here's my other question. You said building, which makes me think you're in an apartment. So how do you have such a big yard?
Duke
Well, no, see, this is what's. Maybe I wasn't clear enough.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
The yard was in front of my house.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
But I did have. I do also have a building in that. Where I'm a lawyer in my office.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, your lawyer building.
Duke
I was.
Nicole Parker
Because I said this was your lawyer building.
Duke
I don't like thieves is what I said. That's right, because someone broke into my building building. This was not where the dog pooped.
Paul F. Tompkins
You say you suffered an enormous loss.
Nicole Parker
Yes. Can you describe the enormous loss?
Duke
It was so emotional.
Nicole Parker
Oh, so it was more of an emotional loss than a literal sort of tangible loss.
Duke
Something was taken from my office. It was my. I have a. I have. Excuse me. I have a raggedy. Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy chess set. I've had to childhood and are the pieces.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Duke
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm so sorry.
Duke
I'm here to answer any of you.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't remember a ton about the Raggedy Ann and Andy extended characters, but it's just the two of them, is it not?
Duke
It is.
Nicole Parker
I don't think there's a bigger universe than the two.
Duke
There was no Raggedy Anthony.
Paul F. Tompkins
So it's one side.
Duke
No. Raggedy.
Nicole Parker
No.
Paul F. Tompkins
Raggedy Angie.
Duke
No.
Paul F. Tompkins
No.
Duke
So.
Paul F. Tompkins
So it is. It is just one side is raggedy and the other side, Raggedy.
Duke
One'S a queen dressed up. There's a raggedy heir. But they're not as a bishop in her bishop.
Paul F. Tompkins
As a horse at rooks and now.
Nicole Parker
But it must be confusing because. Yeah, if they. If they fall over, they're going to fall over into another square. It's got to be infuriating to play with. With pieces that, like, slump over.
Duke
Well, one person's inferior.
Nicole Parker
He confirmed that. They are. Are limp.
Paul F. Tompkins
They are. They are little rag doll chest pieces.
Nicole Parker
Not hardened chess pieces playing with beanbags.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can I also say this exactly? Like, if you take Raggedy Ann and Andy out of their signature wardrobe and put them in costumes or chess pieces, how can you tell the difference between them?
Nicole Parker
Good question.
Duke
Raggedy Andy. That's just the beginning of facial stubble.
Paul F. Tompkins
So this is. Is there slightly in the future what.
Nicole Parker
A subtle game this is. You really have to be detail orient.
Duke
I don't know if you've ever noticed on a raggedy anti dog Scott Peace subtle cuz it is a child.
Nicole Parker
You do forget. You do forget.
Paul F. Tompkins
You do forget that they're children.
Duke
Yes, he did. But he was advanced. I think his hair hair was advanced Hair rag. Raggedy's hobos.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't think so. I think they were just made out of rags was the thing.
Duke
Are they orphans?
Nicole Parker
They do seem like it.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think they're four orphans.
Nicole Parker
I don't like thinking about them much. If I'm being honest. I never have liked to think about them much. But I want to be careful here because clearly they mean a lot to you. What is it about Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy that you love?
Duke
Had them since I was a child. I loved anything raggedy. Raggedy. I just love rags.
Paul F. Tompkins
Anything rag.
Nicole Parker
Anything raggedy.
Duke
A rag?
Paul F. Tompkins
Sure. Number one with a bullet.
Duke
A shirt that just lasted too long on your body should have been thrown away.
Nicole Parker
Oh boy. Did you. This maybe sounds a little. This makes me ask a lot more questions. Did you grow up here? Are you born and raised in dignity?
Duke
I did get raised in dignified.
Nicole Parker
You did get raised.
Duke
I did get raised.
Nicole Parker
Even the way he says that makes it sound like this was an aggressive childhood. What was your.
Paul F. Tompkins
It didn't make that connection.
Nicole Parker
Well, if he only had. If he only had a raggedy shirt to play with. What was your home life life like?
Duke
Oh, my daddy was very strict.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Duke
Always telling us that we.
Paul F. Tompkins
We.
Duke
We don't deserve things. We were lucky to have anything.
Nicole Parker
Just in general, you don't deserve things.
Duke
Yeah, we don't deserve things because he's. He came from the south so he had nothing. We were doing a little better. But he just wanted us to know to be grateful.
Nicole Parker
He came from the south, so of course he came. He came from nothing.
Duke
Came from nothing.
Nicole Parker
Association so. And then what about your mom?
Duke
Oh, my dear mom. She was. She would sew my little raggedy dolls. Sew my little raggedy shirts. Because I never like to throw out. Look, I just like little things that are broken and I don't like to throw them out.
Paul F. Tompkins
Is that why you became a lawyer, do you think?
Duke
Exactly. I wanted to help poor people with bad teeth situations.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can I ask you this?
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
Duke. You. You say yes, it is. Duke. Duke.
Nicole Parker
Duke. Thank you for that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Duke trying to throw in the liquid.
Nicole Parker
You, Duke. Liquid you for sure. Sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
You said. Because it is a red Chevy pickup. I couldn't help wondering if he was the one who let a dog.
Nicole Parker
The next conversation I wanted to have. What is the correlation between Chevy, red, Chevy pickups and.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Duke
Okay.
Nicole Parker
Thank.
Duke
These are all very great questions.
Nicole Parker
Thank you.
Duke
So I. As I said, I went.
Paul F. Tompkins
Nice to hear somebody else say, isn't it though?
Nicole Parker
What a treat.
Duke
Oh, you're wonderful.
Nicole Parker
Thank you, Duke.
Duke
I went.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wonderful.
Duke
I went into my backyard just to have a relaxing time. It's where I like to do my yoga and.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
And I've discovered there was dog poop.
Nicole Parker
Back there in the backyard.
Duke
In the backyard.
Nicole Parker
Whoa.
Duke
Yes. And I'm saying that's what I said.
Nicole Parker
How did someone get back there?
Duke
That's what I wanted to know. Okay, So I asked my neighbor.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sense is not in good condition.
Duke
Not in good condition.
Nicole Parker
Okay, I forgot about that.
Duke
You know what happened to my broken things?
Nicole Parker
What did happen? That's right. That's my. You can only hear him. That's my husband, Doug. He's in another room.
Duke
Oh, where did he. What did he say?
Paul F. Tompkins
He said you like broken things.
Nicole Parker
He was recalling that you said that.
Duke
I do like broken things. But I did break things. My fence. No, I did. I fell into my fence one time that happened. I was dancing in my front yard.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, sure.
Duke
I was dancing to some Commodore's music.
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
Brick house.
Duke
Lady. Oh, lady, how can you not move? Anyway, I misstepped and I fell into a f. My fence and it just all went down like dominoes.
Nicole Parker
Oh, dear. I never like domino. So that's how your fence is built? Well, if it's. If it's side to side, that's not a very good fence. Because then all sorts of things can.
Paul F. Tompkins
I would say also for the way you're describing it, it's not a fence anymore.
Duke
No, it's not a fence. It's a bad fan. But also my ex boyfriend put it up.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
What he was doing, but you know, he lied about a lot of things.
Paul F. Tompkins
And who was your ex boyfriend?
Duke
Oh, do you know Harvey?
Nicole Parker
Well, I think you need a little.
Duke
Bit more information, Harvey Billings. Harving Billings.
Paul F. Tompkins
That name is familiar.
Duke
He's always causing trouble in town.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did he have eczema of the ears? Yes, yes. I rem this guy and he only had it on his mask.
Nicole Parker
He sells matchboxes. We have one. We have one in our home. That's how I know the name.
Duke
I have. We used to. House was just filled. Max Boxes. And you know what? He got upset with me many times because I couldn't help him with his ear problem because I said, I'm a tooth lawyer.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Duke
I can't.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, he wanted to go to court.
Duke
Oh. Oh, he's. Oh, sue this person.
Nicole Parker
Well, who did he want to sue for his Xbox generally? That's genetically. Did he want to sue a family member?
Duke
He said, sue some doctors that he had. That just took too long to solve the problem.
Nicole Parker
Okay, did you see a lot of those cases burnt? People coming in with eczema of the ears in the pharmacy? What do you recommend?
Paul F. Tompkins
There was a real outbreak of it for a while where people. It was localized. Just the ears.
Nicole Parker
That is terrible.
Paul F. Tompkins
And it turns out they were all related.
Nicole Parker
Oh, see, this is what I'm saying.
Duke
Well, my ex person.
Nicole Parker
Your ex person?
Duke
My ex person.
Paul F. Tompkins
Has he passed on?
Duke
Well, I hope so. I haven't spoken to him in a while. In my mind and in my heart, I heard.
Nicole Parker
Hear that he has.
Duke
He had large ears. So that.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that must have been terrible.
Duke
Dumbo ears.
Nicole Parker
Oh, dear.
Duke
Oh, I wish he'd fly away.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. That's okay.
Duke
He promised me he knew how to.
Nicole Parker
Do a fence and he knew how to do offense. I would have said that. The very first red flag would have been that he said, do offense.
Duke
Yeah, you know what? I don't know what I. I just listen. I'm very gold.
Nicole Parker
Does he wolver his eyes?
Duke
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Beautiful.
Nicole Parker
And he was broken, I imagine.
Duke
Very broken. His soul was broken. And his leg. He was breaking his leg, like, every few months.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's almost impossible. Months.
Duke
He would break his leg, something. But I'm like, oh, gotta go to the hospital again.
Nicole Parker
Oh, this guy sounded like he had real problems.
Duke
I had so many problems. It didn't work out.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Anyway, so, yeah, we're still back to the Chevy and the dog poop.
Duke
So I was like, where did this dog poop come from?
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Duke
So my neighbor. Do you know. You know, Large? You know, Large? You know, Large? Large. He works. He works at Hardee's junior.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
He's basically always employee of the month.
Paul F. Tompkins
He does the drive through, and his voice is crystal clear.
Nicole Parker
He's the one.
Paul F. Tompkins
He doesn't use the microphone.
Duke
You can hear him around the.
Nicole Parker
He just yelled. What's your. That's surface.
Paul F. Tompkins
What would you like today?
Nicole Parker
That's very good. Yeah, that's very him. I've been trying to get him. I've been trying to get him for our shows at the gym playoffs Because I think he could do. He could do Carousel.
Duke
He could do.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely. Says he's got. He's literally just absolutely frightened. Stage fright like crazy, though.
Duke
Cheeseburger.
Paul F. Tompkins
What else?
Doug
He takes his job so seriously.
Nicole Parker
And also cheeseburger. What else? Is one of the orders that you have. You can order the cheeseburger. What else? They basically throw in whatever they want.
Duke
And, you know, he dresses.
Nicole Parker
Sometimes it's not fun food, sometimes it's not food.
Duke
He dresses differently than the other Tom Hardy outfits. He dresses like him in the Revenant. Yeah, because it's.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right. He's very easy to spot.
Duke
He's wonderful.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Duke
He's my next door neighbor.
Nicole Parker
Okay, fantastic.
Duke
So he's always sticking.
Paul F. Tompkins
His bane guy is so mad he doesn't get to do the drive through.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
Duke
Anyway, he was sticks. He's always sticking his head out the window, noticing this, noticing that. And so I went up at large. I have some dog poop in my backyard. And he said, well, I've been meaning to tell you, this red pickup truck come by, took a dog in the backyard.
Paul F. Tompkins
So you had a witness. He was an eyewitness.
Duke
Eyewitness.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay. Did he say Chevy? Did he say that?
Duke
He said. He said.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Okay.
Duke
So I've been waiting for red Chevy to come up and. And do it again.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
Then he pulled up and he had the dog. And so I think I'll run this. You gonna run this dog in my yard?
Nicole Parker
I see. Yes. You said it all. All me.
Paul F. Tompkins
He must have been floored that somebody guessed what he was going to do.
Duke
Do you know who was floored, though? Me. And I saw how handsome he was.
Nicole Parker
You weren't ready for that.
Duke
Nah.
Nicole Parker
You were not ready for that.
Duke
We didn't see that coming. His face. His face looked like a young Paul Newman. His body looked like a young Burt Lancaster. And he had the grace of dancing. James Cagney.
Nicole Parker
He danced. He danced in that.
Duke
He had the grace.
Nicole Parker
Oh, the grace. How did he demonstrate that? What was graceful about him?
Duke
He got out of that truck and it was the way he stepped down.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Duke
You ever see James Cagney dance down those steps? Well, Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Doug
Did he have steps?
Nicole Parker
Sure.
Duke
Yeah. He had steps like a bus.
Paul F. Tompkins
How high was the.
Duke
Very high.
Nicole Parker
Very high.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you have those gigantic tires? Huge tires.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I hate those.
Duke
Like, really? His truck made an announcement.
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure did.
Duke
So the stairs come down. He just walked down, but he walked down just like James. Ken.
Nicole Parker
I get it. I get it. I'm More of a Gene Kelly gal, but I get it. Absolutely.
Duke
Well, maybe. Yes. Sure.
Nicole Parker
So that was it. And then all of a sudden, those eyes.
Paul F. Tompkins
You have that little Paul Newman head. And then the big broad shoulders.
Nicole Parker
Can you read the description again? The body of Paul Newman. A young Paul Newman.
Paul F. Tompkins
The head of Paul Newman.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I thought it was the body of Paul Newman.
Paul F. Tompkins
Body of Bert Lancaster.
Duke
Young.
Nicole Parker
Really? Okay, got it, got it, got it. I'm not familiar with the young body of. Of Burt Lancaster.
Paul F. Tompkins
He was. He was a strapping young man.
Nicole Parker
I get it, I get it. That's right. I guess if I'm thinking about it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Was an acrobat, wasn't he, when he was younger?
Duke
Sure, why not?
Nicole Parker
Sounds right.
Duke
He was an acrobat to me.
Paul F. Tompkins
If you want to see him on full display, you can watch a movie called the Swimmer.
Duke
Oh, yes.
Nicole Parker
He's in bathing display. Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
He's in bathing trunks for the entire film.
Duke
Strange movie.
Paul F. Tompkins
Very strange.
Nicole Parker
Well, I kind of do want to see him on full display.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Nicole Parker
It can't be based.
Duke
You know what I'd like.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's based on a book.
Duke
I want. I want to yell come back a little Sheba at him.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I get it. That's a Lancaster reference. But I haven't seen it.
Duke
It's. He's not good in that. Lancaster was the most overrated.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you remember him in Great.
Nicole Parker
I only remember him in Field of Dreams.
Duke
That's the only thing.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Duke
I made one. Not even Elmer Gantry.
Nicole Parker
He says, I better get home before Felicia thinks I have a girlfriend.
Duke
That's a really good Bert Lancaster.
Paul F. Tompkins
You don't remember. Was it. Does he say it or does. Does Tony Curtis say it in. In.
Duke
What's that movie with trapeze?
Paul F. Tompkins
No, he's.
Duke
Is that called.
Paul F. Tompkins
Burt Lancaster? Is a Walter Winchell type type guy. Sweet smell of Success.
Duke
Yes. Yes.
Nicole Parker
Not a movie podcast.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's not a movie podcast. But somebody does have the align. You're a cookie full of arsenic, and I'd hate to take a bite out of you.
Duke
Oh, good line.
Nicole Parker
You know what I don't like about what? Weird.
Duke
I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it to Richard.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's one of those lines that kind of sounds cool at first, and then you're like, was that good?
Nicole Parker
What reads me about that?
Duke
It goes, ooh. And then you go, huh? Because it said with such confidence.
Paul F. Tompkins
Like it's. What's the scenario? Someone's offering me a cookie full of arsenic. I would hate to take a bite out of that.
Duke
Yeah, you're right.
Nicole Parker
Well, it's. And I know this isn't a movie. What's that, babe? What's that sound? What's happening? Oh, okay. Yes. If I can trust my eyes, and.
Duke
I think I can. Susie knows all about your dirty work. That's Bert Lancaster.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
Yeah, can't hurt. By the way, he had big teeth.
Paul F. Tompkins
I had to get that boy's job back.
Duke
Look, Jim, J.J. we can tie this off in a one Nate bundle. So you're not a movie podcast.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, no, we're doing great. But please, we occasionally show Waiting for the Line.
Nicole Parker
Is the big line coming?
Doug
It's coming.
Paul F. Tompkins
He's full of juice and vinegar.
Duke
Just waiting for. Is this from Romancing this Town? You got the boy's job back.
Paul F. Tompkins
This from Sweet Smell, but he's not.
Duke
Going to accept your favor. The Smell.
Paul F. Tompkins
And yes, we do occasionally play full clips from movies. We're Not a Movie podcast.
Duke
It feels like I'm at the cemetery movie.
Nicole Parker
I feel like I'm waiting too long. Okay, we can't even see it. I don't think we're gonna get to it.
Paul F. Tompkins
I probably was. I would have skipped ahead to 10 seconds before the end of the game.
Nicole Parker
That's generally how it works.
Paul F. Tompkins
If that's how you discovered.
Nicole Parker
To tell you the truth, if you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Found the video by searching that line, I would bet you any amount of money it's gonna be 10 seconds before you're certainly not.
Doug
I said you missed it.
Duke
He just said it.
Paul F. Tompkins
But I was right, wasn't I? Was it the very last thing said.
Doug
In the middle of your dog? Pile on.
Nicole Parker
Don't you mean Doug pile?
Doug
Doug Pile. Listen, wait, I'm sorry.
Duke
Match. This better be.
Nicole Parker
You know, it's a new wrinkle.
Duke
To tell you the truth, I never.
Nicole Parker
Thought I'd make a killing on some guy's integrity.
Duke
Who's that? Wait, that's a vampire.
Nicole Parker
To take a bite of. Of you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, you're a cookie full of. Oh, well, that makes more sense.
Doug
Different.
Paul F. Tompkins
That makes more sense.
Duke
And then Lord Cave. And then the Lord Cave.
Nicole Parker
I thought maybe the oracle had happened.
Duke
Sweet Smell.
Nicole Parker
Now, wait. It's very funny that you would. It was made into a Broadway musical.
Paul F. Tompkins
Of course it was.
Nicole Parker
Which is the only reason I know about it. But it's interesting you say romancing the stone because. Burnt. Could you read the description?
Paul F. Tompkins
It's interesting that you say that.
Nicole Parker
Could you read the description of the eyes again?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. He's a very handsome guy with crystal clear, bluish green eyes. And he talked like A gentleman.
Nicole Parker
It just almost makes me think of how the stone, Romancing the Stone just glimmers in the light. It's very blue.
Duke
Green, just like this man's eyes.
Nicole Parker
Do you like that movie Romancing the Stone?
Duke
I love that movie.
Nicole Parker
I could talk about it for years, but we already talked about it so much. We're not a movie podcaster.
Duke
No, we're not.
Nicole Parker
What are your top three favorite moments?
Duke
Romancing the Stone. I love at the end, when she sees the ship on Madison Avenue.
Nicole Parker
There's a yacht driving down Madison Avenue. Like it's normal.
Duke
Is it parked or driving?
Nicole Parker
It starts driving once the credits start rolling. They kiss on the back and it starts being driven.
Duke
I love when Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas are dancing. She's wearing that skirt with her legs sticking out of it. Like, all of a sudden, they're both.
Nicole Parker
So gorgeous, so beautiful.
Duke
Oh, my God. And I love anything with Holland Taylor.
Nicole Parker
Holland Taylor again. I forgot to mention Holland Taylor, that movie.
Duke
Ever been. Has she ever been young? Has she ever been young? She's like Angela.
Nicole Parker
She always gave that. She was.
Duke
Or Glenn Close. Were they ever young?
Doug
Or Bob Seager.
Paul F. Tompkins
Bob Seager.
Nicole Parker
So now, before we were talking about Bert Lancaster, you were talking. We were talking about what? This guy. Look what he looked like.
Duke
He talks like a chip.
Doug
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
What do you.
Nicole Parker
What? Sorry, did we get his name?
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, yeah. Did you get his name?
Duke
I did get his name.
Nicole Parker
Oh, what was it?
Duke
It's Chris.
Nicole Parker
Oh, okay.
Duke
Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. Isn't that enough? Yes, exactly. Like it's spelled C, H, R U I S Cru. No, it's pronounced. I got prius pronoun Chris. I don't know where he's from or what, where that name comes from, but he said he came out of the truck, stepping down, like James, took off his hat.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Duke
And said, what kind of hat was you wearing? A cowboy.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
He said, pickup truck. I said. He said, hi, my name is Chris. And he says it's spelled C H, R U I S. Just so there's no problems.
Nicole Parker
So there's no problems.
Duke
So lovely to meet you. He said, thank you. Lovely. I was like, melted.
Nicole Parker
Very gentlemanly, I know.
Duke
And I said, are you. Are you going to have your dog run?
Nicole Parker
Right, that line. Yeah, that line.
Duke
And he said, yeah. And then I said, well, I don't want to be mean, but you can't do this here because everyone's happy when things are going well, that's when they don't go well. That's when people.
Nicole Parker
So has that happened to You a lot in life that things have just not gone well. Because it sounds like you said it almost as a mantra of your life.
Duke
Yeah, things are constantly not going well.
Paul F. Tompkins
You said the direct was, when nothing happens, everybody is happy. Everybody's happy.
Duke
That's me.
Nicole Parker
You know, that kind of makes sense, given your upbringing. You know, that sounds like something your dad would say.
Duke
It's. I actually have a pillow in my living room.
Paul F. Tompkins
Me too.
Duke
Oh, there's mine. Says this. It's always best when nothing happens.
Nicole Parker
Oh, it's always best when nothing sad. Talk a little bit more about your.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why do you like that?
Doug
It reminds me of no news is good news.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, sure.
Nicole Parker
Fair enough.
Duke
Something happens that's bad.
Nicole Parker
Because it could be bad.
Duke
It could be bad. And it often is.
Nicole Parker
But is. Is that. How long. When did you first sort of adopt that view of life?
Duke
Oh, you said it was from my father. My father was interesting because he was so tough, so cruel, but he.
Nicole Parker
And why was that interesting?
Duke
Well, I haven't gotten to the interesting point because I have an. Oh. Objection.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sustained.
Duke
Sust.
Nicole Parker
I'll watch myself, counselor.
Duke
What was interesting about it is that I have four brothers and sisters.
Nicole Parker
You do? I was just about to ask.
Paul F. Tompkins
And what are their names?
Duke
Well, that's it. My father named us all nicknames of famous actors. Like, I'm named after John Wayne.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Duke
Right. My brother was named Coop after Gary Cooper. My sister's name is Betty, named after Lauren Bacall.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, that's her real name. Betty Bacall.
Duke
That's right. Other brother's named Archibald, named after Gary Grant.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yes.
Duke
And my. My youngest sister just called Red Shoes. Judy Garland. Red Shoes.
Nicole Parker
And her name is Red Shoes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Her legal name is Red Shoes.
Duke
Red Shoes. He could have just called her Jude. But he called her.
Nicole Parker
I guess.
Duke
Or Francis was.
Nicole Parker
Francis Gunn. That's her initial take on her. Red Shoes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Frankie would have been a nice name.
Nicole Parker
That would have been. Okay.
Duke
Cranky. No. Red Shoes.
Nicole Parker
What does Red Shoes do?
Duke
Oh, Red. Oh, Red Shoes is in Congress.
Paul F. Tompkins
Really?
Duke
My sister.
Paul F. Tompkins
We've talked to a lot of people related to Congress.
Nicole Parker
Recently had another person with a congresswoman.
Duke
Well, yeah. Well, I'm very proud of my sister.
Nicole Parker
You should be. I'm glad. She's kind of done so well for herself.
Duke
Yes, she has.
Nicole Parker
Okay. And how about the other.
Paul F. Tompkins
Does she say, go buy Red Shoes?
Duke
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Duke
You haven't heard.
Nicole Parker
Congresswoman.
Duke
Congresswoman Red Shoes.
Nicole Parker
I have to say I haven't.
Paul F. Tompkins
I haven't either.
Duke
You should look at her up.
Nicole Parker
She's from Delaware So she's not called. I thought her first name was Red. And then she. So it's. It's not Congressman Shoes. It's Congressman Red Shoes.
Duke
Her name is Red Shoes. It's her first name. But they. And. And our last name.
Nicole Parker
Oh, what is your last name?
Duke
Herenites. My name is Duke Heredities.
Nicole Parker
And my sister Heredites.
Duke
Yes. And my sister's name is Contra. Congresswoman Red Shoes. Heredities. But people just call her Congresswoman Red. Sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why wouldn't.
Nicole Parker
That makes sense.
Duke
And she's still running on the. The wizard of Oz stuff.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Duke
Click your heels three times and I'll do whatever you need.
Nicole Parker
Oh, boy. That's such an open promise. Yeah. Wow.
Duke
That's how you get elected.
Nicole Parker
It's true. It really is true. And then everyone else is doing okay. Are they just everyone else? Literally.
Paul F. Tompkins
How's the rest of the gang?
Nicole Parker
How's Cooper?
Duke
Coop is the private detective.
Nicole Parker
That checks out.
Paul F. Tompkins
Coop, sure. Cooper editing.
Nicole Parker
Fascinating family.
Paul F. Tompkins
You really do.
Duke
But it's interesting. And you want to know who Betty is.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Duke
Betty is a detective. She's a crime solver.
Paul F. Tompkins
So she says. She's a public detective.
Nicole Parker
She's a little different. She's a detective and a crime solver.
Duke
She's a detective and a crime.
Paul F. Tompkins
Does she work for the police? Is that what that means?
Duke
That's what that means.
Nicole Parker
Okay, okay, okay. An easier word for crime solver.
Paul F. Tompkins
Private detective.
Duke
Being in court, where I have to use larger words.
Doug
Oh, sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
The legal terms.
Nicole Parker
Are you.
Duke
I can't just say, are you a police officer? I say, are you? I heard you were a detective and you were involved in crimes.
Nicole Parker
Just for the listeners. He's really gesturing in a very lovely, almost balletic way towards me.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know what it feels?
Nicole Parker
You have beautiful arms.
Paul F. Tompkins
It feels like he. It's this thing he does in court to sort of lull you into.
Nicole Parker
Yes. It was almost hypnotic, to be honest. To admit to murder.
Paul F. Tompkins
Exactly.
Duke
Ask Crus the crime question.
Nicole Parker
I mean, it's also just. It's also a sweeping motion of the two fingers, so there's also something about. It's a bit off putting.
Duke
Thank you. It's all of it.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's a little clinical.
Doug
Yeah, it's a little clinical.
Duke
Very Gynecologist.
Nicole Parker
I have to make my appointment.
Duke
That's really true.
Nicole Parker
Thanks for the reminder.
Duke
Which sibling have we not talked about yet?
Nicole Parker
Well, we had Coop, we had Betty, we had Red Shoes.
Duke
Archibald.
Nicole Parker
That's Archibald.
Duke
He is a gynecologist.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's what. That's what reminded You.
Duke
That's what reminded me. That's why he taught me that gesture.
Nicole Parker
Of course he did.
Duke
It works in the courtroom all the time.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Duke
People just follow it like it's a magic two fingers.
Paul F. Tompkins
Just like it's a magic.
Nicole Parker
Just like it's a magic two fingers. So now this kind of sounds like you had. Now this makes me think you were surrounded by sort of very interesting siblings. So while I was thinking it was dark in your household. Did. Did you just all band together and sort of make things we happen for yourself?
Duke
We just had terrific fantasy lives. We put on shows for my mother. My father had no interest in the shows, though. He. So strange that he wanted to name us after Nick's name is really weird.
Nicole Parker
It almost seems as if maybe there was a secret that he had or something.
Paul F. Tompkins
Maybe he just liked the movies. He didn't like live performance. Impossible. I understand that some people don't like the theater.
Duke
No.
Nicole Parker
Well, I don't understand them.
Duke
No. Who? Oh, I love theater. I haven't seen a movie in decades.
Nicole Parker
Really?
Paul F. Tompkins
What's the last movie you saw?
Nicole Parker
Do you remember Romancing the St. No.
Duke
Mannequin. Mannequin.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, mannequin.
Nicole Parker
Oh, Mannequin.
Duke
Know what happened? That movie is so clever. Do you know what it's about?
Nicole Parker
Yes, I'm familiar.
Duke
About a mannequin that comes to life. Who thought of that?
Paul F. Tompkins
And it's this white, white woman from ancient Egypt.
Duke
Oh, it's so clever. Isn't that clever? Because that's not.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's very clever. No, I wouldn't have come up with that.
Duke
Expect a white woman from ancient Egypt. You would not expect that. Oh, after that movie, I'm like, this.
Nicole Parker
It can't get better than this.
Duke
It can't get better than this.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Duke
Andrew McCarthy, sure. He just. His acting. He's just smirked and popped his eyes open to show emotion. Do you know what I mean? He just smirked like that.
Nicole Parker
He's really doing crazy things with his eyes right now.
Paul F. Tompkins
What's his name?
Nicole Parker
But I actually know exactly what you're talking about.
Duke
Do you know what I'm talking about? Like when he'd show that. And then he made a documentary. Then he made a documentary.
Paul F. Tompkins
I can't think of the guy's name who was on Designing Win, played Hollywood Taylor. Okay.
Duke
Hollywood was his Hollywood.
Paul F. Tompkins
And did Andrew McCarthy have a friend in that movie or. No, he was just by himself with this secret.
Nicole Parker
Well, I don't remember much. You know, all I remember was.
Duke
I don't remember either.
Nicole Parker
I just remember Starship Sex and Hammock. That's all I remember.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sex and a hammock.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, because they were in a hammock. And then she lifted her leg. She goes, oh, Jonathan. And I was like.
Duke
And there was a.
Nicole Parker
It always grossed me out.
Duke
Wasn't there a song? Starship.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes. We'll build this dream together.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. Nothing's gonna stop now. It's a good one. It's a really good.
Duke
Isn't that a great way to.
Paul F. Tompkins
In the video, Grace Slick pretends to be a mannequin.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that's fun.
Duke
Isn't that fun?
Paul F. Tompkins
Who's more fun than Grace Slick?
Duke
She went from White rabbit.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Duke
To We Built this City on rock and roll.
Nicole Parker
Now, this is a musical podcast.
Paul F. Tompkins
Jefferson Airplane. They kept doing permutations till they ran out of words, Then just starship, then ship.
Duke
We're on the same page. We're on the same page. I have their last album up Sh. And it's a librarian with a finger in front of her mouth telling you to be quiet.
Paul F. Tompkins
It sounds like they knew this was going to be our last album. We'll do the librarian.
Nicole Parker
They're out of layers.
Duke
Literally said librarian finger. And the title of the album is it's time to Go.
Nicole Parker
Oh, that makes sense. Okay. Can I go back to this chess set?
Duke
Of course.
Nicole Parker
Okay. I want to. Absolutely. Was this something. That's very rare. Was this, like, a limited edition situation?
Duke
As far as I know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Can't have been mass produced.
Nicole Parker
Never heard of it.
Duke
My mother. My mother sewed each raggedy, and one.
Nicole Parker
Was one she bought.
Duke
She bought a Raggedy Ann doll and a Raggedy Andy doll, and then she.
Nicole Parker
Made duplicates, Ripped him apart and made them, all of them.
Duke
For a chess set.
Paul F. Tompkins
And what. And what was your mother's name?
Duke
My mother's name? Yeah. Carol.
Nicole Parker
Okay, Lovely.
Duke
With an e at the end.
Nicole Parker
And is it okay to ask, are your parents with us?
Duke
No, they're gone. They went away.
Paul F. Tompkins
They went away?
Duke
No, they're dead. Okay. Sorry.
Paul F. Tompkins
I wasn't sure I hadn't heard that term before.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, me neither. Went away. Right. And was that sad for you, or did you sort of feel freed once your dad passed away? Maybe it sounds sort of the person.
Duke
A little bit of both.
Nicole Parker
Okay, that makes sense.
Duke
I feel like I have a lot of unanswered questions.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sure.
Nicole Parker
What's one of them?
Duke
Why did you name us nicknames?
Nicole Parker
Sure. That's a good one.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right?
Duke
Why didn't you. Why didn't you hug me more?
Nicole Parker
Oh, sure.
Paul F. Tompkins
Great question.
Nicole Parker
You know, Burn had a very Similar childhood. He shook hands with his.
Paul F. Tompkins
My father was very formal. Yes. We never hugged.
Duke
You shook hands?
Paul F. Tompkins
Yes.
Duke
Oh, my. When you.
Paul F. Tompkins
Every time we saw each other, we shook hands.
Duke
Oh, my father just. You know, when. You know, when someone pushes out their hands about as far as they can go, I guess, like against your chest, like you're walking. Just to keep an arm's distance.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Duke
That's how he greeted us.
Paul F. Tompkins
Wow.
Duke
It's like a push.
Paul F. Tompkins
So he didn't show favoritism?
Duke
Oh, not at all.
Paul F. Tompkins
Treated you all the same.
Duke
No arm's distance.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I'm so sorry about that.
Paul F. Tompkins
Was your mother affectionate?
Duke
Oh, very. My mother was the same.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, you can.
Duke
She would hug you from the second you got up to the second you went to bed.
Nicole Parker
Oh, my.
Duke
Come home, you'd be in her arms. That apron would be wrapped around you.
Nicole Parker
That's very sweet.
Paul F. Tompkins
A little smothering. Let me ask you.
Duke
Maybe that's one way to listen.
Doug
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did. How did they end up together?
Duke
Oh, that is a great question. It was an arranged marriage.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Duke
Yes. Both of their family. My mother came from money and my dad, as I said, did not. Was in the South.
Nicole Parker
That's right.
Duke
So there's.
Nicole Parker
We know how that.
Duke
When you're from the South.
Nicole Parker
That's it. That's it. That's it.
Doug
South Dignity Falls, right? Yes.
Duke
South Dignity Falls. My. My. My mother came from money in Dignity Falls and it was ARR. Because my grandfather.
Paul F. Tompkins
Take your time.
Duke
I'm sorry.
Nicole Parker
It's very.
Duke
My grandfather saved my grandfather's on my mother's side life.
Nicole Parker
I'm trying so hard to keep the same.
Duke
My grandfather on the nothing side. On the nothing side, saved my grandfather on the something side.
Paul F. Tompkins
This feels like we're choosing who's going to be it.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Duke
Anyway, so my grandfather.
Nicole Parker
Yes, yes. Or just. But this is incredibly hardboard.
Duke
Saved his life. He was. He was. A street car was coming towards him and my grandfather, my nothing grandfather pushed him out of the way and got hit by the street car and survived. But yeah, good. And something grandfather father just said, you say my life. Anything you ever want. He's like, well, I'd like to have some money. And he said, well, it seems like you have nothing. And he said, no, I don't have. No, I have nothing. He said, my daughter needs of maring in age and no one wants to marrying her.
Nicole Parker
So you marrying her? What did that mean? Back is this. That just was how we said old time maring her. Okay.
Duke
Marrying her.
Paul F. Tompkins
The words weren't finished yet.
Nicole Parker
No, they weren't done yet.
Duke
Called cooking.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Yeah. Words were still cooking for a while.
Duke
You know what though?
Nicole Parker
I was going to say marinating, babe.
Duke
I feel like you might like 50 years from now they might say words would we say go. That word's not finished yet.
Paul F. Tompkins
I wouldn't be surprised.
Duke
It could be interesting that humans that language moves on, changes. Anyway, so he says my daughter is the mar. Time. Time. It's time for her to marry. No one's was asking. He said, well, I have a son. He said, well, you know what? Let's arrange this. And so then they had.
Nicole Parker
And they did that because they just really wanted to make sure they would each have somebody because they were just worried that no one was going to marry them.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well because the something grandfather owed his.
Duke
Life to the nothing and he needed money. So my daughter. It was a different time.
Nicole Parker
It sure was.
Duke
But it worked out. I mean they, they, they seem to get along in their way.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
Not a lot of conversation. Lot of grunts.
Nicole Parker
Ah, that's what it sounds like.
Duke
They grunted at each other.
Paul F. Tompkins
Five children.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. That is a lot.
Duke
They at least five times. Well that your point was that what your point is?
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, I, I not, not. I, I wouldn't boil it down to just that.
Duke
No. Can I say they didn't talk much, but they all the time.
Nicole Parker
You can't.
Paul F. Tompkins
I.
Nicole Parker
Because Doug doesn't like it when. I swear we've already had some choice four letter words on the podcast.
Duke
I'm so sorry. And here I was praising someone from their gentleman talking and I talk like sewer.
Nicole Parker
And let's get back to Chris because do we think that there's a future here? Because at first you were kind of. I know that you were trying to sort of make sure he wasn't going to be on your property. You don't want poop in your lawnmower. Never heard of that really being a thing. But I guess it must be annoying to get it out. I suppose.
Duke
Terrible.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Got it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Because you, you leave us with that. You weren't mad at him?
Duke
No.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Duke
And he was a gentleman.
Paul F. Tompkins
He was a gentleman. You say? I know this gentleman is a decent person.
Duke
I know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Only want him to run his dog a little.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. And well, who was the dog? Nice. What kind?
Duke
The dog was so sweet.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
It was a. Just a mixture of, of muttoness. It was like. It seemed like it had German shepherd, Doberman. A lot of different stuff.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Duke
Maybe a terrier or two.
Nicole Parker
Why not?
Duke
He's so cute. Very friendly. Waggy, waggy. Waggy.
Nicole Parker
Was that his name?
Duke
That's the name. Waggy, Waggy Waggy.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, that's cute.
Duke
Why name him twice when you can name him thrice? That's another pillow.
Paul F. Tompkins
I have another pillow.
Duke
Why name him?
Nicole Parker
Hey, I name my child.
Paul F. Tompkins
You can name him, right?
Nicole Parker
One of my children is named. Nope. Nope. So listen, I hear you there. I hear you there.
Duke
That makes sense. If I had a child, I'll be naming them. Nope, don't.
Nicole Parker
Oh, so you don't want. What. What has your experience been with partners or you don't want a family? Have you had a lot of romantic partners?
Paul F. Tompkins
Your last. Your last boyfriend was terrible.
Duke
Terrible. Did not end well.
Nicole Parker
Okay? That's right.
Duke
Didn't start well. Didn't have medium well. I don't want to have children, Okay. I just wanna. You know what I'd love? The situation I would love in my fantasy world would be something like with Chris, okay? And Waggy, Waggy waggy. Like a dog. I'd love to have dogs.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did you exchange information with Chris?
Duke
Well, this is what I said to him, okay. I said, you know, I don't. I didn't want to be mean and I wanted. He was so nice. I said, well, what. Why don't you give me a week to think about this. Come back in a week and bring Waggy, Waggy Waggy. I'll make some lemonade and I make some wonderful.
Nicole Parker
Oh, I don't know. Doubt it.
Duke
Oh, wonderful. Just a little bit. Little bit of raspberry.
Nicole Parker
Doug loves lemonade.
Duke
Don't you? Love it? Loves lemonade with some raspberry in it.
Nicole Parker
Ooh, I love that. Now, burnt will only have just straight squeezed lemon.
Paul F. Tompkins
Virgin lemonade.
Duke
No, pure lemonade.
Paul F. Tompkins
Love it.
Duke
Just my. You and my father, both of you have pure lemonade. Just pure lemonade. My dad used to say.
Paul F. Tompkins
Excuse me one second.
Duke
Oh, sure.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no, I've done something wrong.
Duke
Oh, dear.
Paul F. Tompkins
Father Cleo a monster. Then you said, oh, I'm not surprised. He's like.
Nicole Parker
I thought. Oh, I thought you said, oh, for whatever reason, I thought that it was you that was saying your father would. Would love. I thought, okay, no, he's.
Paul F. Tompkins
Duke is saying his father, the monster I see also loved virgin lemonade.
Nicole Parker
Oh, right.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay. So when you said, I'm not surprised that that made me feel a little.
Nicole Parker
Okay, I'm sorry about that.
Paul F. Tompkins
I was monstrous.
Nicole Parker
I. Oh, you were not monstrous at all. I think that maybe you were raised by a monstrous man because he only shook hands with you. That's what I don't Like, I mean.
Paul F. Tompkins
It'S better than just giving a stiff arm.
Nicole Parker
It's definitely better than that.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm so sorry.
Duke
That's all right. I was just posting some Commodores. I was humming some Commodores in my head.
Nicole Parker
I want to know. Then do. Could I ask you. Is it. Then what is your purpose in making this post? What was your aim?
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, why did you do this?
Nicole Parker
I'm just wondering, because. How does it end? What's the last sentence?
Paul F. Tompkins
I am a licensed attorney registered to practice.
Nicole Parker
Okay, wait a minute. Let's go to the top. What's the first sentence?
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay, the first sentence is. He describes what happened this afternoon about 4:45pm Red pickup. This is the most we've ever had to refer back to.
Nicole Parker
This makes me think that. Did you post this immediately after because you were hoping to see if. If Chris was reading it? Because now I'm thinking that's what this was.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because you're making it clear you don't blame Chris for anything.
Duke
I'm telling you, the blood was just so hot underneath my skin.
Nicole Parker
Oh, my goodness.
Duke
After this conversation, Chris.
Nicole Parker
It was going all over. Right? Right. It was kind of slushing all over, as it likes to. The blood was going, oh, we got to go over. Over here now?
Duke
Yeah, it was just moving. It's like, I guess I'm in my house. Great. Now I gotta move over. But real hot blood.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, sure, Hot blood. Check it and see. Absolutely. Foreigner.
Duke
Foreigners.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do you think that guy ever got. Lou Graham ever got off stage and.
Duke
Went, oh, my head.
Paul F. Tompkins
Because the way he sang, it always hurt me to listen to.
Duke
Maybe we should ask him.
Paul F. Tompkins
He sang like he was. He. I love it like the songs were written for some. Someone else. And he was doing. He was at the absolute top of.
Duke
His R. But you know what I'm waiting for?
Doug
Cold as ice.
Paul F. Tompkins
You know what I'm waiting for. Can we take this down a little? They said, no can do. We've already done the arrangements.
Duke
I'm waiting for a Broadway musical that's all done to the songs of Foreigner.
Paul F. Tompkins
Jukebox Hero. Jukebox Hero, the jukebox musical. Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Absolutely. In the realm of possibility.
Duke
I think so, too. Seems like I'm putting that out there.
Nicole Parker
I'd go see it if there was a Jimmy Buffett musical. There can be a Foreigner musical.
Duke
Foreigner.
Doug
Have you heard the live version of Hot Blooded?
Duke
The live version? No.
Doug
There's a line at the end. This is real.
Nicole Parker
As opposed to some of the other things we've said.
Paul F. Tompkins
This is the second one called Doug's Truth.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, this is the same. Called Doug's Truth.
Paul F. Tompkins
We haven't done this in a while.
Nicole Parker
Long time.
Doug
Yeah, it's one. He's kind of riffing, you know, he's got these, like, one liners and he goes. I'll make you, you famous. Put a star on Uranus.
Nicole Parker
No.
Doug
And it's in the live. The live version of Hot Blooded.
Duke
I'll make you famous. I'll put a star on your anus.
Paul F. Tompkins
I. I can't process this.
Nicole Parker
What? Me neither.
Paul F. Tompkins
I don't know what to do with that information.
Duke
I'll make you famous.
Nicole Parker
We've rendered Burn speechless.
Duke
Put a star on your.
Nicole Parker
On your. On your anus.
Paul F. Tompkins
Meaning it doesn't work as a double.
Nicole Parker
It definitely doesn't.
Duke
It rhymes, though.
Nicole Parker
Sure does. Sometimes that's all that matters.
Paul F. Tompkins
It's not a great rhyme.
Duke
No, I didn't say that. But it does scan.
Paul F. Tompkins
It does scan.
Duke
But he was improvising, right? He was just kind of scattered.
Doug
Yeah, he did it over and over again.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Duke
Oh, he was happy with that rhyme.
Doug
Yeah, he.
Duke
He was happy with it.
Nicole Parker
Make someone famous.
Duke
I'll put a star on your.
Paul F. Tompkins
Aim to make them famous. And then he will do that. Oh, I don't think that's the means by which.
Nicole Parker
That's what I was thinking.
Duke
Okay, so how.
Paul F. Tompkins
But it's open to interpretation.
Duke
I'm gonna give you a career.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah.
Duke
And then as an added plus, I will put.
Nicole Parker
Instead of the whole song, instead of on the walk of fame, it's gonna be.
Duke
Oh, I thought it was like, you know, when a teacher puts a star.
Nicole Parker
I was picturing a gold star at one moment as well.
Duke
That would fit more on your anus. I would say, like a gold star, but it wouldn't stay on long.
Nicole Parker
This is really big. Quite the punch. It's off you go. There you go. Duke. That's absolutely true.
Paul F. Tompkins
Duke, I honestly. I think we can talk to you.
Nicole Parker
Forever, but I really hope that. Have you heard anything from K?
Duke
What's the latest? I'm just waiting to hear if he's gonna show. You haven't heard anything I said. You take a week to think about it.
Nicole Parker
I know, but. So how long ago was this?
Duke
This was. I posted this, like five days ago.
Nicole Parker
Okay. We're almost to the end of the week. Oh, dear.
Duke
It's like you. You. If you. He shows up with Waggy waggy Waggy and he comes, then I know something's going on. I feel like he's going to. Maybe he. Maybe he knows how to Put up a fence.
Paul F. Tompkins
Maybe he does.
Nicole Parker
Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
He does.
Doug
I think all you got to do is turn the. Fit the fence like the other way.
Nicole Parker
Yes. Because clearly the guy who made it into dominoes, there was. There were just slats turned the wrong way and anyone could. Any critter, anyone could have gotten through that was an. That was a penetrable fence.
Paul F. Tompkins
Now I'm trying to picture. This is it.
Doug
I'm picturing section as a fence turned.
Nicole Parker
I'm picturing just all the slats lined up like dominoes.
Duke
That's more.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Nicole Parker
But.
Paul F. Tompkins
But down. Laying down now.
Nicole Parker
Oh, well, now. Laying down. Yes, absolutely. I need like a bunch of popsicle sticks.
Duke
I need a.
Nicole Parker
They weren't.
Paul F. Tompkins
They weren't connected to each other. They were just in a line.
Duke
I need a strong fence that when I dance in my front yard and accidentally trip and fall into it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Right.
Duke
It stays up for me.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Well, Chris sounds like he's strong enough and graceful enough to. To dance with you and to build you the fence.
Duke
Driving dances like James Cagney.
Nicole Parker
Wouldn't that be.
Duke
Or Gene Kelly. Or even Fred Astaire.
Paul F. Tompkins
Sure, even Fred Astaire.
Duke
Even Fred Astaire. Or Joseph Gordon Levitt in 500 Days of Summer. I'll take that, too.
Paul F. Tompkins
Did he dance in that?
Duke
Yes, he did. There was a fantasy. There's a sequence where he.
Nicole Parker
And he did all of Make Them make them laugh and learned how to flip upside down off the wall. Snl.
Duke
He dances. He dances to the Hollow song. Vaguely familiar to Holland Oats song. In five.
Paul F. Tompkins
You make my dreams come true.
Duke
That's it. He's so happy.
Nicole Parker
I think that this might be a record for the number of movies discussed. It's perfect for our season. It really is.
Paul F. Tompkins
Happy songs. That's true.
Nicole Parker
And songs which we've now added.
Duke
Well, I'm honored to be here for.
Paul F. Tompkins
It all this couldn't happen without you.
Duke
Rap package.
Nicole Parker
I'm going to follow Congresswoman Red Shoes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely.
Nicole Parker
Much closer now.
Paul F. Tompkins
Are you in the market for new gynecologists?
Nicole Parker
I don't know that I want to go to.
Duke
And if there's any sort of a crime, Betty will help you.
Nicole Parker
That's right. We know that. And I really, really hope that Kris reaches out to you in some way or just shows up on your doorstep.
Paul F. Tompkins
Before we let you go, would you like to say. Would you like send out a message to Chri.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yeah.
Duke
Oh, God. All of a sudden, I feel.
Nicole Parker
Pretend you're looking into those beautiful Romancing the Stone eyes.
Duke
Chris, if you choose to show up. And I hope you do. Just know, not only will I have my raspberry lemonade right ready for you, but I'll have a star right on my anus.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's beautiful. I'm sure you're gonna hear from him very soon.
Duke
I think so too.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, Duke. Thank you so much.
Duke
My pleasure.
Paul F. Tompkins
We'll be back with the Neighborhood Listen when the Neighborhood Listen returns.
Nicole Parker
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Paul F. Tompkins
Free item full length mirror with texture and frame.
Duke
Free.
Doug
This is tj.
Paul F. Tompkins
I am offering an elegant full length mirror with a textured frame. Perfect for any room. There are two mirrors of this size. 66 inches by 31.5 inches. Both are included and are free. You will notice in the photograph accompanying this listing that I have scribble scrabbled myself out of the image in the mirror. That is because no one must look at me.
Duke
I'm hideous to behold. Do not gaze upon my mutilated visage.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why has God cursed me to look.
Nicole Parker
Like such a freak?
Paul F. Tompkins
Avert your eyes, lest nightmares follow you.
Nicole Parker
To the end of your days.
Paul F. Tompkins
You pick up.
Doug
Wow.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, that was something else. Duke. What a fascinating person.
Nicole Parker
I forgot my headphones. Burnt.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
I. I.
Paul F. Tompkins
Mean, you could have just put them on. You didn't need to really.
Doug
You can hear him talking though, right?
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. We're sitting right next to each other.
Nicole Parker
Sorry. I ran down to see the oracle cave because I wanted to see what it looked like.
Paul F. Tompkins
What does it look like?
Nicole Parker
It is a lot bigger. And he's right. It is not about the cave. It's not about the cave. I really think it's all about the oracle pool. All about the oracle pool. He did a nice job, baby. Did a nice job. I want to let you. I want to let you know that.
Paul F. Tompkins
And I'm sure Beautiful's gonna love it.
Doug
I appreciate that.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Yeah. Beautiful's gonna love it.
Doug
She's gonna love it.
Paul F. Tompkins
She's gonna.
Doug
I made a mistake of looking at my face in the reflection pool, though.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, no.
Doug
And.
Nicole Parker
Oh.
Doug
It totally disorientated me as the.
Nicole Parker
Disorientated you, as the British would say. Do they say. Is that what they say? Yes, the British say that they do. Okay.
Doug
I lost my sense of place and time.
Paul F. Tompkins
Why?
Doug
Just seeing yourself, reflecting yourself in that oracle water.
Paul F. Tompkins
But did you see something that you maybe should not have seen? Was there some mystical, hideous.
Nicole Parker
Oh, my God.
Doug
Well, I put some oil in the water, so it gives it a kind of reflective, iridescent kind of.
Nicole Parker
I think water does that all on its own. I mean, it's reflective.
Paul F. Tompkins
Famously is.
Doug
Yeah. But you know that look, when the oil. The oil's in the water.
Paul F. Tompkins
There's, like, a number of stories about that.
Nicole Parker
Yeah. There's a dog with a bone, and he literally sees another dog with a bone.
Paul F. Tompkins
Exactly.
Doug
This is oral water.
Paul F. Tompkins
Dumb dog.
Nicole Parker
Oracle water. I know.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, maybe you should drop some dawn in there. So you don't have any of these war disassociative states.
Nicole Parker
Oh, all right. Well, we have a final post here, and I just. Sometimes people post the craziest things. But isn't that the truth? It really is.
Doug
That should be the tagline of the show.
Paul F. Tompkins
Yeah. Sometimes people post the crazy.
Nicole Parker
I'm just gonna show it to you really quickly because, to be honest, I'm now realizing that. I'm now realizing that if you look at it too long, then actually, you know what. What happens?
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, the abyss gazes back.
Nicole Parker
That's right. Well, no, it actually is. You just find out what it is and it's not so mysterious.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, okay. Because if I did say you had. No.
Nicole Parker
What was going on? I didn't.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Nicole Parker
I don't know if it's because my contacts are tired. It could be because my contacts are tired and sometimes I just can't focus. But let me see if you. If I just show this to you for as quickly as I looked at it.
Paul F. Tompkins
Okay.
Doug
Nothing happens.
Nicole Parker
Marilyn. Marilyn just says. Anyone know what these are? Okay.
Paul F. Tompkins
What?
Nicole Parker
You see.
Paul F. Tompkins
I saw a clump of something.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
That could have been some kind of insect.
Nicole Parker
Yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Could have been a ton of bats. Could have been part of a sweater.
Nicole Parker
Thank you. This is validating.
Doug
Wait, I'm coming in. I'm coming in.
Nicole Parker
Okay. Doug wants to see it. I'm going to show you. For the exact amount of nanoseconds.
Paul F. Tompkins
Do I look Normal Billy will snatch. Yes.
Nicole Parker
You look fine, babe. You're fine. Whatever.
Paul F. Tompkins
Same as you always do.
Nicole Parker
Whatever you saw in the oil. Don't. Don't pay attention. Okay? Your pupils are fine.
Paul F. Tompkins
Your pupils.
Nicole Parker
What? Your pupils. What? What did he say?
Doug
I don't know what word I just said.
Paul F. Tompkins
Nopen. Are my pupils.
Nicole Parker
Nopen.
Paul F. Tompkins
Hey. Worried about this guy?
Nicole Parker
Oh, my gosh. That's what? That's a sign that Nope. Nope would hide. Would put. He'd hide it on his door.
Doug
Let me see this thing.
Nicole Parker
All right. What are these? That's all you get. See that? Got it from him.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, but you have.
Nicole Parker
So now, having looked at it further, it's so clear. So now just take a minute. Does now take longer?
Doug
Take a longer.
Nicole Parker
Now you see it, right?
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm taking a longer. And yes. And I see these. They're delightful little.
Nicole Parker
You know what? Let Doug see it. Let Doug see it.
Paul F. Tompkins
All right, let's see it.
Doug
Let Doug first, before I open my eyes.
Nicole Parker
Open your eyes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Open.
Doug
Some sort of, like, collection of acorns or something. Or I had a pine.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you know what? For the listener, let's not say what it is.
Nicole Parker
Oh, yeah, let's not say what it is.
Paul F. Tompkins
We will post it.
Nicole Parker
Okay. That's fun.
Paul F. Tompkins
And you got to promise it's going to be the last in the slideshow. And you have to look at it just for one second.
Nicole Parker
One second. You have to try one second and look away. And then you have to look at it for a longer.
Paul F. Tompkins
You have to look at it for a longer.
Doug
Let me take it longer.
Paul F. Tompkins
Take a longer.
Nicole Parker
But don't say anything, babe.
Doug
What the.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh.
Nicole Parker
See, it.
Duke
It.
Paul F. Tompkins
This is the dictionary definition of a what the. Oh.
Duke
Oh.
Nicole Parker
There has to be a word for that. It really does. There really has to be a word for this because it was so shocking to me at first. It looks horrifying.
Paul F. Tompkins
It looks horrible.
Nicole Parker
It looks like a terrifying movie. It's awful.
Paul F. Tompkins
1000.
Nicole Parker
And then it ends up being the most Innocuous. I was gonna say innocuous. And then I don't know why I said unthreatening. That wasn't as smart.
Paul F. Tompkins
Well, that wasn't a smart.
Nicole Parker
That wasn't a smart.
Doug
But now what I'm thinking is, Marilyn here has had a lot longer.
Nicole Parker
She sure is. Had a lot of.
Paul F. Tompkins
She was the one who took the picture.
Doug
She still doesn't know what these are.
Nicole Parker
Which means she stared at it for a while trying to figure it out. Right. So something's up with Marilyn and the.
Paul F. Tompkins
Fact that he just Says what these are. There's no more descriptive term than that. Because you almost. Because she says what these are.
Nicole Parker
Yeah.
Paul F. Tompkins
Makes you think you're not. She hasn't told you what you're supposed to focus on.
Nicole Parker
Correct. That's so true. Because I'm going to. I'm going to say I focused on the bottom part of the picture. Bottom part of the stuff. Which is more upsetting.
Paul F. Tompkins
Absolutely. It's a poorly composed photograph.
Nicole Parker
It's a terrible photograph. It's terrifying.
Paul F. Tompkins
I'm going to say this. Marilyn, shame on you.
Doug
Do better.
Paul F. Tompkins
Quit. You have to quit, neighborhap.
Nicole Parker
Oh, no, Burton. You always go too far.
Paul F. Tompkins
Delete your account. Mar.
Nicole Parker
Always go too far. Always go too far.
Paul F. Tompkins
I go as far as I think I need to go.
Nicole Parker
And we've gone as far as we should go for season eight.
Paul F. Tompkins
That's right.
Nicole Parker
I am calling it that. I don't care what you think, Burns. That's fine, but. Oh. You okay, babe?
Doug
No, I'm just. That's sad.
Nicole Parker
Oh. Why is it. Oh, it's the end. Yeah, I know. But just for a little bit. We want to thank all.
Doug
My mom.
Nicole Parker
You're all the best.
Doug
Predicted this.
Nicole Parker
Oh, wait. Predicted what?
Paul F. Tompkins
That the season would end.
Doug
Season would end.
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, we all did.
Nicole Parker
Yeah, we had it scheduled. Yeah, I've had it in my calendar for months.
Paul F. Tompkins
We would like to thank all of you for listening to this season. And we had a really lovely time. What a wonderful and diverse bunch of people.
Nicole Parker
Bunch of wacky people we met this time around. They were really wacky. But we're not totally gone. Because every month. What can they listen to, Burns?
Paul F. Tompkins
They can listen to the bonus room episodes. See, here's the thing. Go to cbbworld.com sign up on their Maximus tier, and there you will get access to our bonus room episodes, which is sometimes us just talking about dignity falls amongst ourselves, the three of us. Sometimes we. We do Q&As with people with the listeners. Sometimes we have some sort of pirate versions of our feed from other podcasts. Don't know how this happened.
Nicole Parker
Still don't know.
Doug
Gone on double dates.
Paul F. Tompkins
We've gone on double dates. That's right. With. With Gabby, my girlfriend. And. And we watched movies. Yeah, it's. It's a lot of different stuff. We have a really good time and we think you'll enjoy those episodes as well.
Doug
And there's all these unrelated shows.
Paul F. Tompkins
I mentioned that.
Doug
Oh, you did?
Paul F. Tompkins
Oh, you mean in addition to our.
Doug
Show in a dsd?
Nicole Parker
Yes, yes.
Paul F. Tompkins
Y. There's other shows that you can enjoy that are not in our feed.
Nicole Parker
Don't freak him out. He's so. I can hear you. B. I know you're still sort of weirded out by whatever you saw on there.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, I'm so sorry, Doug. It's a terrible thing. But yeah, you can. You can hear. You know, hey, Randy. Or Scott hasn't seen, which I still.
Nicole Parker
We did that one burnt.
Paul F. Tompkins
I. Yeah, I keep forgetting. I keep forgetting. Something about the title is just.
Doug
Is it. He hasn't seen anything.
Paul F. Tompkins
No, it turns out it's about movies. He hasn't. Oh, and again, who cares if you.
Nicole Parker
I think it's fun.
Doug
I mean, I haven't seen most things.
Nicole Parker
Wait, what do you mean? Wait?
Paul F. Tompkins
Are we. Are we just all going to make podcasts of things we haven't seen?
Nicole Parker
Don't give everybody the idea.
Paul F. Tompkins
Who cares? You can make a podcast about anything, obviously.
Nicole Parker
Obviously. And then you can have your own mobile service.
Doug
Places haven't been.
Paul F. Tompkins
Not enough having a podcast. Have your own phone company.
Doug
That's smart.
Paul F. Tompkins
I think it's less than that. All right, well, thank you so much for listening. We really. We really do love our listeners, if not fans. And we will be back for a ninth season. And until then, goodbye and bye.
Nicole Parker
All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.
Paul F. Tompkins
The Neighborhood Listeners hosted and produced by.
Nicole Parker
Me, Paul F. Tompkins and me Nicole.
Doug
Parker and me Brett Morris.
Paul F. Tompkins
This episode's guest was played by Mitch Silpug. The Neighborhood Listen. As a production of Comedy Bang Bang world.
Nicole Parker
Go to cpbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maxima subscribers. Your support keeps the show.
The Neighborhood Listen: "When Nothing Happens, Everybody Is Happy with Mitch Silpa"
Release Date: June 24, 2025
Introduction
In the season finale of "The Neighborhood Listen," hosts Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins) and Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker) delve into the intriguing dynamics of Dignity Falls through a captivating story submitted by a local resident. Joined by their engineer and Joan's husband, Doug (Brett Morris), the trio navigates through themes of neighborly relations, personal backstories, and the enigmatic Oracle Cave that adds a mystical layer to their hometown.
The Red Chevy Pickup Incident
The episode begins with the reading of a post from Duke, a neighbor in Dignity Falls, detailing an encounter with a red Chevy pickup truck and its owner, Chris. Duke recounts how around 4:45 PM, Chris pulled up to his yard to request running his dog on Duke's property. Duke explains his reluctance due to an unstable fence and concerns over legal liability.
Notable Quote:
Duke (00:39:30): "When nothing happens, everybody is happy."
This incident sets the stage for discussions about trust, community safety, and the complexities of neighborly interactions.
Guest Appearance: Mitch Silpa as Chris
Mitch Silpa guest stars as Chris, the charming yet enigmatic man with "crystal clear bluish green eyes." Through an improvisational dialogue, Chris's character reveals layers of his personality, including his love for movies like "Romancing the Stone" and his graceful demeanor reminiscent of classic actors like James Cagney and Fred Astaire.
Notable Quote:
Chris (00:54:10): "I'll put a star on your anus."
This humorous yet awkward interaction highlights the show's signature blend of wit and character-driven storytelling.
Duke's Family Backstory
As the conversation unfolds, Duke shares a deeply personal narrative about his strict upbringing. His father, named Flip (short for Flipper), was formal and distant, preferring handshakes over hugs, while his mother, Beautiful Corn (née Crueler), was affectionate and nurturing, sewing raggedy dolls for her children.
Notable Quote:
Duke (00:47:18): "We don't deserve things because he's... he came from the south so he had nothing."
This backstory provides insight into Duke's reserved nature and his guarded interactions with neighbors like Chris.
The Oracle Cave and Its Mystical Elements
A recurring motif in the episode is the Oracle Cave, a mystical pool transformed by Doug into the Oracle Pool. The cave serves as a place where beautiful Corn conducts her fortune-telling, offering predictions that have a significant impact on the community.
Notable Quote:
Doug (00:23:48): "She's always giving people fortunes and predictions. She has been right oftentimes."
The Oracle Cave symbolizes the intersection of the mundane and the magical in Dignity Falls, adding depth to the neighborhood's narrative.
Discussion on Reality vs. Perception
The hosts engage in a meta-conversation about their roles, blending their characters' realities with their own. They touch upon themes of memory, perception, and the blurred lines between fiction and reality within the podcast's universe.
Notable Quote:
Paul (00:83:00): "You have to look at it just for one second."
This segment emphasizes the show's playful exploration of storytelling and character development.
Community and Relationships
Throughout the episode, the importance of community ties and relationships is a central theme. Duke's desire to protect his property and his eventual softening towards Chris reflect broader conversations about trust, forgiveness, and the complexities of neighborly bonds.
Notable Quote:
Duke (00:76:06): "All things are constantly not going well."
This sentiment echoes the episode's title, suggesting that underlying tensions can disrupt apparent harmony within the community.
Conclusion
As the season wraps up, Burnt Millipede and Joan Pedestrian reflect on the diverse and colorful personalities that make up Dignity Falls. They express gratitude to their listeners and tease the upcoming bonus room episodes available through their Maximus membership at cbbworld.com.
Notable Quote:
Nicole (00:95:02): "We had a really lovely time. What a wonderful and diverse bunch of people."
The episode culminates in a blend of humor, heartfelt storytelling, and intriguing character interactions, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next season.
Key Takeaways:
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
This detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, character developments, and the unique charm that "The Neighborhood Listen" brings to its portrayal of Dignity Falls.