A (2:56)

So is that romantic relationships? Is that what that means?

B (3:00)

No, this is. This is the benefit. Of course, that is one of the most notable in our minds, when we think about relationships, we think about our intimate relationships, but it's community. And if you look at some of these glorified blue zones where people tend to live longer, this is the part that isn't talked about enough. You know, there's this big division that takes place when it comes to nutrition. Right. When it comes to these blue zones. But it's really the consistent piece across all these different blue zones is these individuals have really great relationships. Social connection, a sense of purpose. And we'll talk more about this. And me being me. I asked him, like, what is the mechanism? Why? Why? Okay, I get it. Relationships have a deep impact on our longevity. But why? And he said, based on the data and the best of his assessment, it's because of the impact that having healthy relationships has on stress. It's your ability to metabolize. Stress is radically improved when you have people in your life who you can talk to, who you know have your back, who you can communicate with. Yes. Feel safe, a sense of certainty and safety in a world that is so uncertain, growingly uncertain. And when I say metabolize stress, we know that we were just talking about this, you and I, that we need stress. We need stress in order for us to grow and to develop and to thrive. Hormetic stressors are critical components of us getting better. But once we venture into chronic stress. Right. Acute stressors are important. Some of them can be dangerous. But once we get into a place where we've got so many stressors coming in, and what I like people to think about is your overall stress load. All right. So when I used to talk about stress, and even when I first was introduced to this concept, I've been in this field for 20. Over 22 years now, which is crazy. But when I would hear about stress in relationship to whether I was working as a nutritionist or like strength and conditioning coach, talking about stress when with clients. Right. So at the gym, somebody would come in. It was like, you know, I'm just stressed out. It's usually related to work.

A (5:04)

Yeah.

B (5:04)

And so that's what I would cognitively link it to.

A (5:06)

Yeah.

B (5:07)

There's work stress. Absolutely. There's relationship stress. There is nutritional stress. Right. Certain things that we eat can be adding excessive stress to Our bodies inflammation. There is emotional and mental stress, there is spiritual stress. You know, not feeling like you're connected, not feeling like you have a purpose and all of these things. There's exercise stress. Yeah, right. Exercise is a stressor, but it can be stressful.

A (5:34)

Okay.

B (5:34)

And if you add in an already stressed individual and you add in training for a triathlon, chances are something has a much higher probability of breaking down. Right. So we want to be mindful of our growing overall stress load and to be able to process these things. It is with and through other people that is invaluable. And so that's what he shared as the primary mechanism was our ability to metabolize stress.

A (6:01)

Wow.

B (6:01)

And in doing so, and by the way, to put the icing on the cake when it comes to distress conversation and why this matters for our longevity. So, and I talked about this years ago, but a really interesting study was published in jama, the Journal of the American Medical association, looking at physician visits and why do people go to the doctor, like why are people showing up with ailments and different issues? And they found that upwards of 80% of all physician visits have a strong stress related component. Upwards of 80%.

A (6:34)

All right.

B (6:34)

And this was years ago, so it's more stressful now.

A (6:36)

But if you look at the root cause of any chronic disease, you can relate it back to inflammation.

B (6:43)

Right.

A (6:43)

And so when you talk about stress, you're also talking about inflammation.

B (6:47)

Yeah, exactly, exactly. And he brought up that exact point as well. And relating stress to this growing kind of inflammatory cascade and a mismanagement of when, when we look at this phenomenon, by the way, again, inflammation isn't bad in and of itself. We need inflammation to, to heal, to, to, to grow and develop certain capacities as well. But when it becomes chronic. Right. So just for example, if we go and do a workout together, we're going to have a significant uptick in these inflammatory biomarkers. But our bodies are healing and responding and if we rest and recover, we're going to come back better. Right?

A (7:25)

Correct.

B (7:26)

But if we're just pouring gasoline onto that fire of inflammation and never really healing and processing, that's we're going to get into a lot of, a lot of degradation and disease very quickly. And so just to summarize this, investing in our relationships and this is one of the big problems and we can talk about how, how do we address this in our own lives? It's so valuable on so many levels. But you and I both went to university. We're not taught about what qualifies like, how do you create a healthy relationship? We're just kind of thrust into this stuff in our, in our modern society where things are even more complicated with having healthy relationships. How do we do that? How do we cultivate healthy relationships? What are the ingredients and most importantly, what are the things we need to be mindful of for us to avoid?

A (8:16)

It's the unspoken science, right, as it relates to longevity. But, but what about also, I could only imagine that it comes down to the product of the people that you spend the most time with. And what if the people that you're spending time with are the ones going out and drinking a lot? Then that can also have an effect and impact on your, on your longevity.

B (8:39)

Yeah, that point specifically. Yes. One of the things noted in the data was looking at those key elements that are seen, like why does our relationships impact our health so much and our longevity so much? The processing and metabolizing of stress was one component. And the other part was modeling. Right, modeling.

A (8:59)

Okay.

B (8:59)

And so having healthy modeling relationships was one of those things that really stood out. What if you don't have that right? Or what if the modeling that you're getting in your environment are for things that are detrimental? That's obviously going to pull away from your potential longevity. And so this is something where today more than ever, we have the ability to take control of this to some capacity. Because, you know, for myself growing up, I grew up in the inner City in St. Louis where we had the highest murder rate in the country at the time. And growing up with, you know, honestly, you know, drug dealers were my, my idols, you know, like, they had the cool cars, they had, you know, girls and all this kind of stuff. And, you know, I just aspire to be like them, you know. And the only way out that I had ever seen anybody make it out of this environment was like through athletics, for example. But this was incredibly rare. And so I didn't really have role models of like, success of being able to have healthy relationships. Like the only long term term healthy relationship that I had, which this might have added to my kind of patchwork quilt of who I am today, was my grandmother and my grandfather.

A (10:11)

Oh, wow.

B (10:12)

You know, and they were like madly in love and just this entity, you know, they were this entity. You don't say one of their names really without, without the other when talking about them. Meemaw and Pop. Meemaw and Pop. And I had that imprint, but I didn't see that with my own parents. I didn't see that with anybody in my environment, like having healthy relationships, right? And so I'm going to model. And so when I find myself, like, having girlfriends and things, like, I'm just modeling what's happening in my environment.

A (10:38)

Have you ever read, like, about how if your spouse dies, you know, when you're, you know, in your late 80s, 90s, then it's not long until you also pass away after that? And it's. It's scary because social isolation, which is what we saw a lot of, was increasing depression rates, especially when we went through the pandemic. And we see that a lot when, you know, even in. Cause I always refer back to Alzheimer's disease. That's my primary area of research. And we see a lot of this social isolation when people do have this disease and they. They become recluse and, you know, kind of like they just want to be in their bedroom staring at the wall. And that's actually aiding in, you know, and accelerating their rate of the disease because of the fact that they are not socializing. And I thought it was mere. The mere fact that they're not, you know, working their brain as hard, but you're just proving more and more that it's probably about the metabolizing of stress.