Hot Topic: Why Birthdays Can Be So Overwhelming for Neurodivergent People

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: The Neurodivergent Experience

Episode: Hot Topic – Why Birthdays Can Be So Overwhelming for Neurodivergent People

Hosts: Simon Scott & Jordan James
Date: July 16, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this candid episode, Simon and Jordan tackle birthdays: why these celebratory days can be unexpectedly overwhelming and emotionally complex for neurodivergent people, particularly those who are autistic or have ADHD. Drawing on their own lived experiences and genuine friendship, they explore themes of attention, embarrassment, present-giving, emotional regulation, demand avoidance, and the clash between social expectations and neurodivergent realities. The conversation is woven with humor, honesty, and heartfelt moments, offering listeners both validation and practical insights.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Birthdays: The Center-of-Attention Dilemma

• Simon describes the anxiety of being the focus:

  • The discomfort of having everyone sing "Happy Birthday" or watch you open presents.
  • Feeling like everyone is "staring at you and goes, ‘Do you like it? I did, but you’re frightening me’" (03:16 – Simon).
  • The awkwardness is so intense that Simon jokes he’d rather “stand there for that awkward 20 seconds and just been like, kill me” (02:48 – Simon).

• Even family celebrations feel pressured:

  • Simon shares that even cute family gestures can feel overwhelming, as when his nephew sends a birthday video:
    • “My uncle…sent me a video of their kids singing Happy Birthday. Looked like they’re being held at gunpoint” (08:00 – Simon, with laughter).

---

2. Gift Giving and Receiving: Stress & Strategy

• The Complexities of Receiving Gifts

  • Jordan discusses how, as a neurodivergent parent, he used to expect enthusiastic reactions from his children, only to feel disappointed when responses were muted.
    • “Before I understood neurodivergence as a parent, I would give my kids things and…Sophie would always react like, oh my God, that’s amazing. But Simon was like, oh, thank you. And I was like, does he not like it?” (21:00 – Jordan/“Friend of Simon”)
  • Simon clarifies: “I do. I just don’t know how to show it. I’m just processing the thing that you’ve given me” (23:19 – Simon).

• The Joy of Giving and Planning

  • Jordan lovingly details his tradition of buying Simon unique Funko Pop figures, culminating this year in a full wrestling ring setup with legendary wrestlers (04:12–05:00).
  • The anticipation and joy are mutual, but so is the need for routine and expectation—not surprises.
    • “What we’ve all learned as I’ve gotten older is Simon doesn’t do well with surprises. So the fact that you’ve told me what my gift is is so accommodating, so when I have it…I don’t have to mentally script what my face should do” (23:24 – Simon).

• Self-Gifting and Practical Presents

  • Both hosts admit to often just buying themselves birthday presents—especially as adults—a pragmatic solution to avoid guessing and stress.
  • Simon’s partner excels at practical, thoughtful gifts: "She always gets me stuff where I’m like, oh, I didn’t know that I wanted that, but I’m really happy with it" (14:58 – Simon).

---

3. Demand Avoidance and Social Burnout

• Texts and Messages: Warm yet Draining
  • Simon feels genuine gratitude for the influx of birthday messages, but admits to demand avoidance:
    • “I woke up to loads of texts from people…Then I was like, ah, demand avoidance. But managed to get through it. I had a coffee and warmed up” (06:16 – Simon).
  • Jordan and Simon laugh about needing to schedule or even pre-write their "Happy Birthday" messages due to executive function challenges.

---

4. Changing Feelings About Birthdays with Age

• Less Excitement, More Reflection
  • Both hosts agree that birthdays feel more “like another day” as they get older, and the focus shifts from material gifts to meaningful experiences (08:00 and beyond).
• Valuing Experiences Over Objects
  • Simon prefers birthday money for experiences, like concerts or golf, rather than things:
    • “If you don’t know what to buy me…just give me money and I’ll buy an experience” (16:26 – Simon).
  • Jordan echoes that for his own birthdays, he often treats himself: "I end up just buying myself presents because I earn more money than everyone I know. And I’m definitely not wealthy. I’m just older than they are" (14:02 – Jordan).

---

5. Practical Strategies & Validation

• Preparation Helps:
  • Telling someone what their gift will be ahead of time allows for mental preparation, reducing the pressure of a "surprise reaction."
• Gifts as Social Tools:
  • Hats, team gear, and memorabilia can serve as useful conversation starters, especially during travel (19:21 & 20:00).
• Parental Insight:
  • Jordan reflects on pushing for big reactions as a parent and learning to accommodate and validate quieter responses.
    • “I wasn’t angry. I was disappointed.” / “10 times worse.” (22:57–23:05 – Jordan & Simon, sharing a humorous but real moment)

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On attention during birthdays:

  • “The whole like perception thing…all of these texts…thanks, I guess. Cheers for that.” (08:43 – Simon)

• On receiving gifts:

  • “I just don’t know how to show it. I’m just processing the thing that you’ve given me.” (23:19 – Simon)

• On practical gifting:

  • “She always gets me stuff that I will use. Like, she’s amazing for that…stuff where I’m like, oh, I didn’t know that I wanted that, but I’m really happy with it.” (14:58 – Simon)

• On demand avoidance:

  • “I want to respond to people. Then I was like, ah, demand avoidance…but managed to get through it. I had a coffee and warmed up.” (06:16 – Simon)

• On coping mechanisms:

  • “As I’ve gotten older…just give me the money that you wish, your budget, and I’ll put it towards something really cool.” (16:26 – Simon)

• On validation of responses:

  • “Does he not like it?…because I would put a lot of effort into my kids birthdays.” (21:00 – Jordan)
  • “No, I do. I’m just processing…” (23:19 – Simon)

• On shared understanding and friendship:

  • “Our friendship is our brotherhood. And the podcast is just a really cool thing that we do together.” (10:08 – Jordan)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:48] – Simon on the horror of being sung happy birthday (“kill me” moment)
• [03:16] – The fear of being watched while opening presents
• [06:16] – Demand avoidance around birthday texts
• [08:00–09:00] – How family expectations and attention overwhelm Simon
• [14:58] – Appreciating truly practical, thoughtful gifts
• [16:26] – Preferring experiences or money for self-directed gifts
• [21:00–23:19] – Parental perspective on neurodivergent children's muted reactions to gifts

---

Tone & Language

Conversational, irreverent, and deeply personal, the hosts use humor and brotherly banter to navigate genuinely difficult emotions. They are open about their neurodivergent traits (masking, demand avoidance, sensory processing), modeling both vulnerability and self-acceptance.

---

Conclusion

This episode turns the “simple” birthday into a lens for seeing broader neurodivergent realities. Through funny stories, deep-dive confessions, and a very specific discussion about Funko Pop gifts, Simon and Jordan validate why so many birthday “traditions” can feel alien or overwhelming for neurodivergent people. Their message? You aren’t alone if you find birthdays complicated, and there’s value in finding your own way to mark the day—on your own terms.

---

Transcript

[Chase Sapphire Preferred Advertiser]

The autistic culture podcast network. The sound of autistic culture. This year's girls trip to Telluride was the best. We one upped ourselves with my Sapphire Preferred card. And with 5 times points on Chase Travel, plus 3 times points on vacation homes with top brands, we got this incredible cabin. It was a mansion. And with three times the points on dining, we ordered a wagyu steak dinner. And that pistachio gelato was too good. So where should we go next year? Here I've got ideas. Chase Sapphire Preferred the car that's preferred for a reason. Cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, this is Pablo Torre from Pablo Torre finds out. And today I want to talk to you about Boost Mobile. In sports, there's always pressure to chase the next big thing. But sometimes the smartest play is sticking with what's already working for you. Boost Mobile gets that if your phone is running fine, you should not have to buy a new one just to get a better deal. Bring your phone to Boost Mobile and get unlimited wireless for just $25 a month. Forever. No contracts, no price hikes. Visit Boost Mobile, unlock your phone. $25 forever requires customers to remain active on the Boost Mobile unlimited plan.

[Spin Quest / Text Now Advertiser]

What's going on, everyone? It's bluff here and we're driving through the states in the Bluffmobile. And the best thing that we can do is play our favorite casino style games On Spinquest, they have over a thousand games including live dealer blackjack and craps with tons of slots and unlimited options. You $30 coin pack for just $10 for new users sign up today. Go to spinquest.com right now.

[Simon]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Friend of Simon]

Oh, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Hello and welcome to the new spicy news. Hot topic.

[Simon]

Super hot, super spicy hot. Like the candles on me birthday cake. It's my birthday.

[Friend of Simon]

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Simon]

I'm 20 and a bit.

[Friend of Simon]

No, you're not. You are 31, 32.

[Simon]

It's gone up a year. It's annoying how he does that.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah.

[Simon]

If I was a Premier League footballer, mate, I'd be off to the Turkish League or the MLS or Saudi Arabia now. Getting my last paycheck.

[Friend of Simon]

But we, we do have to do one thing. Are you ready?

[Simon]

Oh, no, don't.

[Friend of Simon]

Don't do it. Happy. But I'm just joking. I would have stood there for that

[Simon]

awkward 20 seconds and just been like, kill me.

[Friend of Simon]

And this is what we want to talk about is that in sort of embarrassment or like, you know, self destructiveness. Also like, almost like, you know, you don't want to be the center of attention. You know, you don't want to have everyone looking at you or singing Happy birthday or like focusing on you. And especially when it's like Christmas when you get presents, especially once you don't

[Simon]

want everyone just sits there and stares at you and goes, do you like it? I did, but you're frightening me.

[Friend of Simon]

But yeah. So I was supposed to be with you for your birthday. Not today, but at the weekend again, so that didn't happen. So I actually do have birthday presents for you.

[Simon]

Oh, thank you.

[Friend of Simon]

And I'm. I wanna, I wanna tell you what they are.

[Simon]

Oh, okay. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Cool. Go for it.

[Friend of Simon]

So what, what do you, what, what type of present do you think I've got you? God.

[Simon]

What do I normally, Normally, Normally it's a pop figure. Oh, well that's like, that's like the go to. It's normally a toy.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah.

[Simon]

So go on.

[Friend of Simon]

It's not a toy, it's a figure.

[Simon]

No, but you know what I mean, if like we're putting in an overall, I'm autistic, I put things in categories.

[Friend of Simon]

I'll tell you what, it's. It's a toy and you can absolutely play with this. So it is or they are. I bought you a pop character wrestling ring. It's an actual wrestling ring for pop characters. And it comes with John Cena and the Rock. And then I bought you CM Punk wearing a Stone Cold Steve Austin T shirt. And yeah, I went, I went the full monty. I also bought you Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Simon]

Oh, he literally got like the four big boys. Thank you.

[Friend of Simon]

You could really find more of them and have a Royal Rumble. Cuz like I think you could fit like six or seven in this ring.

[Simon]

Oh, dude, I'm going to. I'm getting some shelves put up behind me here. I will put that on the shelf.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, you got to take out the box cuz then you got to put more.

[Simon]

I'm not the only one that I've kept in the box is the blue one because it's derp.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, the box. You've got to keep that in the box. It's such a great music shelf in the living room.

[Simon]

It's beautiful.

[Friend of Simon]

But yeah, so you've got. And then you can add to it. You can add more in there and then you have like a Raw Rumble. But what I've got now is like a Tag team. So I'm thinking Stone Cold and the Rock.

[Simon]

John Cena. And John Cena is what I would go with. Yeah, dude, thank you. It's gonna look thoughtful. I'm really, I'm genuinely, really excited to get.

[Friend of Simon]

So what I was. What my plan was is when I was going to come up, was going to take them all out of the box. When like in the morning I was going to go down and take them all out of the box and then like set them up like, like all together. And then you're gonna come down and see it and I was gonna be like, happy birthday. But that didn't happen because my back is. But yeah, very stone cold coded.

[Spin Quest / Text Now Advertiser]

Just.

[Simon]

The man broke his neck.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, seeing. Seeing the smile on your face is. Is wild.

[Simon]

Thanks, man. That's.

[Friend of Simon]

That's genuine for themselves.

[Simon]

Yeah, that's really thoughtful. That's really thoughtful. Thank you.

[Friend of Simon]

Well, that's why I messaged you a couple of weeks back. Like, do you like CM Punk? Like, is that one of your favorite.

[Simon]

I'm a fan of Charles Montgomery Punk. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm a fan. Yeah, no, it's. No, that's. That's awesome. Thank you. It's been, it's been really cool. Like, it just sort of shows where my life's at right now in that this morning I woke up to loads of texts from people and I was like, oh, how lovely. I want to respond to people. Then I was like, ah, demand avoidance. But managed to get through it. I had a coffee and warmed up. But yeah, no, it's.

[Friend of Simon]

That's the first thing I did this morning I woke up and what I had done the night before, so I didn't forget, I had actually written Happy birthday bro and then left it. And then this morning I woke up and then just press send. I was like, literally as I. The first thing I opened my phone up and the message is still there and I'll just send. Because I'm terrible with. With remember.

[Simon]

Oh yeah, dude, me too. Absolutely. Me too. But yeah, it's been. It's been really cool. But there is that thing in there because like this morning I woke up and Caris was like, oh, do you want your presents? Because Caris is a down at Christmas at 5am checking boxes sort of kid.

[Friend of Simon]

Me too.

[Simon]

Go down at like half past nine, ten o' clock and then just sort of let the day unfold.

[Friend of Simon]

Oh, I don't know.

[Simon]

But you know what? Actually my parents joked with me once they. That if I went downstairs before Santa had done his lap of the world. Not only would my presence disappear, but all the presence of all the children around the world. And I never came downstairs after 9am

[Friend of Simon]

oh my God, that is parenting. I'm not quite sure.

[Simon]

Yeah, this is, this is, this is the thing of, like, you shouldn't. Yeah, you, you joke. But yeah, that's, that's, that's a family thing that we joke about. When my dad was like, yeah, that's up. We should have done that.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, no, definitely, definitely not.

[Simon]

But anyway, going back to birthdays, it's a weird one in it because, like, obviously being a guy and being older and I'm 32 now and a birthday just sort of feels like another day. I've woke up this morning and I keep going, oh, yeah, it's my birthday. And going, should I feel something? And just. Yeah, but the whole like perception thing in that, like Caris's mum rung me this morning and my mum's facetimed me and my uncle, who's got a little kid, sent me a video of their kids singing Happy Birthday. Look like they're being held at gunpoint. It's just like, you will do this.

[Friend of Simon]

And they're just going, you will be cute and adorable.

[Simon]

Very, very sweet though. It was very cute. But I'm not used to the attention, man. Like, I get all of these texts and stuff and I'm just like, thanks, I guess. Cheers for that. And like you were telling me you're present and I love it. But then at the same time I'm

[Friend of Simon]

like, people listen to this.

[Simon]

You know what to do with my face. Even though it's a podcast, I'm still like, what do I do with my face? Just smile and wave, boys.

[Friend of Simon]

Smile. The thing is, is that I'm not even concerned whether you're going to like it or not, because I absolutely know you're going to fucking love it. Yes, I'm just, I'm. I am the king of buying pop characters for people. Cuz, like, there's a pop character for everything.

[Simon]

But I have them around scattered around my office, dude, because they inspire me. I've got my Tiger woods one on my desk right below me and then I've got my Steve Irwin one when I look out the window. And then behind me I've got my Scotty Pippen one.

[Friend of Simon]

Yep. Just absolutely forgetting how many pop characters I bought.

[Simon]

There's a few.

[Friend of Simon]

But I remember when I bought you the Scotty Pippen one is, is literally right at the beginning of this podcast and I just randomly. I didn't Tell you, it was no birthday. I just got Amazon to deliver it to you. There he is. Because I was like, you're the Pippin to my Jordan, literally. Which is why your nickname is Scotty, because your second name is Scott, and I call you Scotty, and you have

[Simon]

a son called Simon, and we don't want to confuse them.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, that. That is the number one. Like, honestly, if I didn't have a song called Simon, I would just call you Simon, but I have to call you Scotty, and I have to write everything down as Scotty. Otherwise, it's just confusing. It's like you. I. I didn't want to call you Podcast Simon because that kind of just defines our friendship. Our friendship is not defined by this podcast. Our friendship is our brotherhood. And the podcast is just a really cool thing that we do together.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Friend of Simon]

Going golfing or, you know.

[Simon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Friend of Simon]

We don't get paid for this. People just keep reminding you.

[Simon]

Sponsorship is available.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, sponsorship is, by the way. Oh, mate, if I go get sponsored by a Pop. Funko. Pop. Yeah.

[Simon]

But yeah. Anyway, regardless, I'm an ambassador. Yeah. How do you. How do you find birthdays, dude? Because obviously you're a few laps around the sun older than I am. Do you still get excited about your birthday or.

[Friend of Simon]

No, I get excited about other people's birthdays because then it's a chance for me to buy pop characters and not get told off by Sylvia.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Friend of Simon]

Even though when I bought you the pop character, she still was like, he won't like them. He doesn't like pop characters. And I'm like, clearly, you don't know.

[Simon]

No, I'm not. Like, I'm not somebody that's gonna have walls covered in them.

[Friend of Simon]

But no, you. You only have the ones I buy

[Simon]

to things that I like, then I am gonna really enjoy them.

[Friend of Simon]

And I'm just looking at my wall of pop characters at this moment in time. I bought another one. I bought a Boromir, a new Boromir one.

[Simon]

But Lord of the Rings ones, you've got, like, a free pass on, so it's fine.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally Free pass. That and basketball ones, because Simon bought me a Luca Doncic one for my nice Father's Day. Yeah. But the. The weirdest thing is about this week is it was Katie's birthday, which is why I took her to go and see Minions, and it was Simon's birthday, and it's your birthday, all within a week.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, wow.

[Friend of Simon]

Which is. It's like. Oh.

[Simon]

Which is funny, because it's my uncle John's birthday on Saturday and then my dad's is the week after.

[Friend of Simon]

Well, I'm not buying them popcorn.

[Simon]

How many people that I know, because it's like Caris's birthday was only like two weeks ago. So we're all like, it's a very expensive time.

[Friend of Simon]

It's a very expensive time. September for me as well. I've got like, you know, friends whose birthdays in September. Plus my birthday's in September. But yeah, no, I. I don't. Look at my birthday is. Is like something I want to celebrate really, because I. I feel weird because I end up mostly just buying myself a gift because the. What I. Because basically if I buy something that I certainly don't need and I spend a lot of money on, you know, rightly Sylvia could be like a bit, you know, scrutinizing of that. And, you know, it's not like she's sitting there going, you can't buy this or you can't buy that. That's not our relationship. But she's certainly like, did you really need that? Like, recently when I went and saw a Toy Story 5 and I bought a Buzz Lightyear popcorn bucket, which has wings that open and it lights up.

[Simon]

And I'm not hearing anything wrong so far.

[Friend of Simon]

I'm just hearing happiness.

[Simon]

Sounds pretty. Pretty dope if you ask me.

[Friend of Simon]

And it came with a drink and a popcorn, and I'm like, it's basically free. Basically free? Yeah. I mean, it basically is. But, you know, she's kind of like, oh, do you really need that? And I'm like, I do need that in my life. I absolutely need that in my life. And every now, every time I've gotten the cinema since then, I've taken my own popcorn and put it in and I've taken my bucket with me and I'm like, see, I use it every time I go to the cinema now. It is now my bucket. So, yeah, I end up just buying myself presents because I earn more money than everyone I know. And I'm definitely not wealthy. I'm just older than they are.

[Simon]

Yeah, yeah. You're not going to ask your kids to spend, like, outrageous money. It's like with Caris, I told her, don't go crazy. Like, you don't have to absolutely lavish me with stuff. She's bought me the shirt that I'm wearing, which is a Liverpool training top, which is stunning. I really love it. So comfy, dude. She got me some titles. Pro V1, golf balls with the Liverpool badge on the side that I'm Gonna put on like my shelf as a bit of a display. They look really cool.

[Friend of Simon]

Titty list.

[Simon]

I've got some titties. Yep. I'm literally such a child. And then she got me a new wallet. She got me one of those ones that you like, flick the bottom and the cards pop out.

[Friend of Simon]

But she always gets heard of that.

[Simon]

They're cool. It's like you go like, oh, let me. You know. Do you remember in the. The Naf Batman movie in the 90s with George Clooney when he's like, I've got the bad car. To the like, oh, yeah, it looks

[Friend of Simon]

a bit like that.

[Simon]

God, that was a deep cut reference, wasn't it?

[Friend of Simon]

That was.

[Simon]

But she's got me something like that. But Karis always gets me stuff that I will use. Like, she's amazing for that. She always gets me stuff where I'm like, oh, I didn't know that I wanted that, but I'm really happy with it.

[Friend of Simon]

That's me with the pop characters. You can't really use them, but you would never have.

[Simon]

I never go out and buy it, but it's a great gift.

[Friend of Simon]

I bet you didn't even know there was a. A Funko Pop.

[Simon]

It makes sense. As soon as you said it to me, I went, of course there is. But it's not something that I ever went looking for.

[Friend of Simon]

I didn't know it existed.

[Simon]

Dude. That's one of the things that I always sort of loved about how sort of tying it into yesterday's episode, how my mum and dad raised me is they always. My mum and dad were always like, your birthdays for fit is for us to buy you stuff you would never buy yourself and just to sort of treat you. But I've always been somebody that's loved experiences so like this. Well, they'll already have happened by the time you guys are listening to this. But My Chemical Romance, other than Blink 182, I'm like my favorite band. They're playing in London today on my birthday, but they're also playing on Friday. And me and my friend that was one of my best friends in London, we're going to see them. I'm going down to stay with her. We're gonna have a freaking amazing time and I cannot wait for it. And I basically said to everybody, give me money for my birthday so that I can go to the merch stand and buy a godly amount of merch. Like, I want a poster, I want a vinyl and I want a T shirt.

[Friend of Simon]

Hell yes.

[Simon]

And that's What I love about birthdays, it's just timed up perfectly. But I've always said to people, if you don't know what to buy me, that's not a bad thing. Just give me money and I'll buy an experience. I'll go and do, show me the cash. Just give me the hard cash, man. Give me the money. And that's. But that's basically like, I'm not like the sort of person, like, gets a card and shakes it. Nothing falls out and goes, oh, but that's what I wanted to do. It's like, I'll either take the money and go play a really fancy golf course that I would never pay myself to go and play at, or I will pay for, like a tattoo or something like that. So that's what I've always liked with birthdays. I've always. I'm not doing that Lee Evans thing where it's like, oh, get him a voucher. It's. I can't be asked. Get it yourself. But I have always found it really difficult to not necessarily ask for what I want, but know what I want. Like, I'm. I'm very content. I'm not very materialistic. I'm very content with whatever I've got. And I've just found it a lot easier being older of just going, if you do want to get me something, just give me the money that you wish, your budget, and I'll put it towards something really cool. So, like, on Friday, that's just gone. I'm gonna buy a vinyl, I'm gonna buy a T shirt, and I'm gonna buy a poster from this concert that I've been like, dying to see for, like, the past two years.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, I think, I think that's really good. My son Simon, he asked the same thing. He's. He's going to be going to Brazil in a couple of months. And he's basically just said, oh, you know, give me. I'd like money for spending money. Like, he's. He was able to organize the whole trip again, you know, going back to. He is super independent. You know, him and his girlfriend, they're going to meet their friends. One of them that, that is from there, girl named Jasmine, she's Brazilian.

[Simon]

What an experience.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah. And they're out there for two weeks. I'm very happy that, you know, they, they have a guide. Essentially.

[Simon]

It's the best way to do it if you're going to travel anywhere.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what my son wanted was, was spending money for then because, like, you know, he wants to be able to enjoy going there and, and worrying about money. So that's what we've done. But I also bough a San Antonio Spurs T shirt because that's his favorite team. And I bought him a Chelsea hat because, you know, he's Chelsea fan. And I bought him DLC for Forza. Oh, nice. So you could get, like, more cars and, and more tracks.

[Simon]

See, a hat for me is such a. Such a safe bet. Like, I love a hat. He's always a great gift.

[Friend of Simon]

Doesn't wear hats. But this hat, he probably will wear because he would never buy a hat for himself.

[Simon]

But.

[Friend of Simon]

But I also said if you don't want to. If you don't want it, you could just, like, have it on display because it's a really nice Nike Chelsea latest one.

[Simon]

The thing is, as well, is, like, when you're traveling, having a hat with a football team on is a brilliant way of navigating, because people look at it and they'll go, oh, Chelsea. I like Brazilian players that have played for Chelsea. And you can start a conversation. Like, I've always found that when I've gone anywhere, like, if I've been to a city that has a local team, I always try and pick up a little bit of something as a bit of, like, a memorabilia or a trip because it's a. It's nice. It's a good memory thing. But it's a great conversation starter as well, like, for people that are local.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah. I mean, if. If one day, hopefully, especially when Trump's not in charge, I would. I want to go to Boston.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Friend of Simon]

And I have so much Boston Celtics gear. T shirts and jerseys and shorts and. And hats and everything. And I will just. I will literally look like the most tourist tourist, because I'll just be walking around in all my Boston Celtics gear and then just like, literally, like, wearing a Boston Celtics freaking full kit. Just my. My Larry Bird jersey, because, you know, I'm old school.

[Simon]

If you're an autistic person that loves traveling and you're into sport as a special interest, like going to wear places that your team play, there's just nothing better, man. Like, if you're ever to go to the Garden and watch Boston play that, what an unreal experience that would be for you, man.

[Friend of Simon]

Like, that's so cool. We're. We are planning that. It's just, you know, don't want to go to America right there. But mind you, when, when, when. When I saw how the Scottish fans were in Boston and they Were just out there having a great time and

[Simon]

they dragged the place dry, apparently.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, it, you know, it certainly makes me go, oh, well, you know, fuck Trump. I guess I'll just go out there anyway. You know, I don't. I don't think anything bad's gonna happen. I don't think that. I think that the World cup is showing us anything is that, you know, Americans generally are, you know, people from the USA are just wonderful, wonderful people. And that's what I've experienced. I've got a lot of friends in the U.S. it's just the people in charge that are awful. But I digress. That's not really a birthday thing. But, yeah, so people are awkward. So when I g him these gifts, it's, you know, I'm not expecting like a massive reaction like I used to, before I understood neurodivergence as a parent, I would give my kids things and Sophie would always react like, oh, my God, that's amazing. But Simon was like, oh, thank you. And I was like, does he not. Does he not like it? Like, what, have I done something wrong? Because I would put a lot of effort into my kids birthdays. Like, I would, you know, I would plan the parties. I would invite the kids over. When the kids came over, I was the one that would like, do the entertainment and act the clown. And I was that dad that was always trying to, you know, make sure that my kids had the greatest birthday party. You know, I would organize the days out and the trips and I would always get all the presents. Sylvia would just be in the background doing what Sylvia does, which is basically being. Being the grown up, being, being the sensible one. Whereas I was just a big kid, you know, and I. I would definitely buy Simon toys that I wanted when I was a kid and then get annoyed when he broke them.

[Simon]

Yeah, you can't, you can't really do that. If you give it to him. It's theirs, isn't it?

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't tell him off. I wouldn't. He wouldn't know that I was annoyed, but inside I was like, even worse.

[Simon]

You were disappointed?

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, I wasn't angry. I was disappointed.

[Simon]

Even worse.

[Friend of Simon]

10 times worse. So, like, did you have that when, when you were a kid? It's like you just.

[Simon]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Friend of Simon]

Did your dad ever be like, why don't you appreciate my gifts? Be like, I do. Oh, I just don't know how to show it.

[Simon]

My dad wasn't like that. My mum was.

[Friend of Simon]

Oh, okay, that's right. Am I always the mum here, the

[Simon]

amount of times that I would open presents and my mum would sort of look at me and then just go, you don't like it, do you? No, I do. I'm just processing the thing that you've given me and what we've all learned as I've gotten older is Simon doesn't do well with surprises. So the fact that you've told me what my gift is is so accommodating, so that when I have it and you give it to me, I don't have to mentally script what my face should do.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah. Which was. I'm like, obviously, you're gonna come down here in a couple of weeks anyway, so I can give you a gift then. But, yeah, I. When. When my back was. Was getting back, because when I was on holiday, when Wales, and I was going to come up and see you, like, before we went home, and then my back just. It just went. And I kept thinking, oh, just get it better. I can still get up there. I can still get up there. And my main thing in my head is like, that, like, hyper focus was the fact that I'd taken the presence of with me to give to you. So we have them all throughout Wales. I literally put them on inside the boxes, but I put them on display, like in. In the Airbnb. So I was looking at them every day and I can't wait to give these to Scotty. I can't wait to give these to Scotty. And like, 90 of the reason I was so trying to get up to you was to give you these gifts. There was 10 I want to hang out with my bro. And 90 of like, I have this exact plan that I want to do for you, that I want to set it all up. And because I had that whole plan, it was very difficult for me to let that go.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Friend of Simon]

And then Sylvia's like, you, you can't go. Your back is.

[Simon]

And I said to you, go home.

[Friend of Simon]

Yeah, I needed to go home. I needed some physiotherapy, I needed some massages.

[Simon]

It's just a gift, like. And as much as I love it, and I do love it, like, I think it's awesome. Thank you. I really, really appreciate that. It's a great gift.

[Friend of Simon]

I got you a dinosaur card as well, because, you know, autism tism. Yes.

[Simon]

But, yeah, no, that's. I would much rather hang out with you when you're happy and healthy. I'm not coming. I didn't expect you to come up to give me a gift. I expected you to come up to hang out and then that changed. So it's not the end of the world.

[Friend of Simon]

We will hang out soon and then.

[Simon]

Yeah, man, for sure. Looking forward to it.

[Friend of Simon]

But yeah, Hot topic, you are old.

[Simon]

I am old. Birthdays happen. But not as old as I am. No, I'll never be as old as you.

[Friend of Simon]

You will never. What are you not making it to 44?

[Simon]

I will do. But you'll be older at that point, won't you? So technically you'll always be a bit

[Friend of Simon]

older, but you always. You will be as old as I am now.

[Simon]

Anyway, that isn't a neurodivergent experience. I don't know what is. That's been your hot topic for this week. Birthdays, getting older, and gift giving. Thanks, everybody. Be kind, be safe. We'll see you next week nightly.

[Friend of Simon]

Bye.

[Simon]

Thanks for tuning in to the Neurodivergent Experience. We hope today's episode sparked something for you. Whether it's a new idea, a bit of validation, validation, or just a moment of connection. Remember, new episodes are every week, so be sure to join us for the next one for more conversations and insights into the Neurodivergent Experience. If you've enjoyed this podcast, help us grow. You can do that by rating and reviewing this show. Your support makes a huge difference in helping us reach more people who could benefit from these conversations. You can connect with us on social media, find us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. Just search for the neurodivergent experience. Thank you again for listening and until next time, take care of yourself. You're not alone in this journey.

[Chase Sapphire Preferred Advertiser]

Our trip up the coast was perfection. With my Sapphire Preferred card, we earned three times the points on gas, online, grocery and dining.

[Simon]

It was amazing.

[Chase Sapphire Preferred Advertiser]

Chase Sapphire preferred the card that's preferred for a reason. Cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase Bank. Any member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, this is Pablo Torre from Pablo Torre finds Out and today I want to talk to you about Boost Mobile. In sports, there's always pressure to chase the next big thing. But sometimes the smartest play is sticking with what's already working for you. Boost Mobile gets that if your phone is running fine, you should not have to buy a new one just to get a better deal. Bring your phone to Boost Mobile and get unlimited wireless for just $25 a month or forever. No contracts, no price hikes. Visit Boost Mobile, unlock your phone. $25 forever requires customers to remain active on the Boost Mobile Unlimited plan.

[Spin Quest / Text Now Advertiser]

Your phone is your lifeline. Calling your kid to say good night. Waiting on a job call back or just sending a meme to your best friend when it's been that kind of day. Wherever life takes you, the Text now app keeps you connected for free. Get a real phone number, unlimited talk and text, and 5G data for your favorite apps, all for $0 a month. No fixed contracts, no hidden fees, no panic when bills pile up. Just phone service that's there when it matters most. Text Now. We've got your back. Download Text now in your App Store today. Wireless plans require the purchase of a sim card. Visit textnow.com for terms and conditions.

[Simon]

ACPM thanks for listening. Support autistic led media through Autistic Culture plus and enjoy bonus content, early episodes, and ad free listening. Visit autisticculture supercast.com to learn more.