← The Neurodivergent Experience
The Neurodivergent Experience
Mindful Mondays With Ashley Bentley: The Quiet Art of Returning Home to Your Body
00:33:09
Start Your Week With Presence & Purpose
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- [00:03]
Instacart/Sleep Number Advertiser
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- [00:29]
Podcast Host
Number Smart bed Can I make my sight softer?
- [00:32]
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Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
- [00:35]
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- [01:19]
Podcast Host
Welcome my friends, to Mindful Mondays, part of the neurodivergent Experience podcast. And this is the third episode in our November series, Nervous System Regulation for the neurodivergent Soul. And in last week's episode, the Breath Between Worlds, we explored how the breath is a bridge between the conscious and unconscious, between control and surrender, doing and being. And now we're moving even deeper, down into the roots, down into the body itself, the temple, the compass, the weathervane of your nervous system. And there's a beautiful line by the Body Keeps the Score author Bessel van der Kolk that says once you start approaching your body with curiosity rather than fear, everything shifts. And for so many of us, especially those of us who are neurodivergent, the body can feel like a battlefield, a place of overwhelm, overstimulation, or even betrayal. But what if beneath all of that, the body isn't the problem? It's the messenger and the healer? The body speaks in the language of sensation, warmth, tension, expansion, contraction. And every one of those sensations is data. It's your inner weather system, constantly reading the winds of safety and threat. And once we receive that sensory data, the way we engage and use our body can help to signal safety and calm presence and purpose. And as we begin to listen, really listen, we start to realize something profound. The body isn't against us, it's for us. It's always signaling, always seeking balance, always trying to bring us home. And I just mentioned that book, the Body Keeps the Score and what a title that is. But it's not the complete picture. The body does keep the score, yes, but it also keeps wisdom. Every cell holds a memory of safety, of joy, of presence. And yet for many of us, the mind has been running the show for so long that we've forgotten how to listen to the deeper language of the body. Alan Watts once said, we have allowed brain thinking to dominate our lives far out of proportion to to its proper role. When we live entirely in our heads, planning, analyzing, overthinking, not only are we not being present, but we're forgetting that the body is the mind's oldest ally. And when we feel anxiety or stress, our first instinct is to usually try and think our way out of these feelings, Isn't it? Yet the quickest way to calm ourselves is somatic work. And that means using our body to ground ourselves into safety and presence. The nervous system reads the world far faster than the thinking brain ever can. It's your built in compass, scanning for safety or danger long before your conscious awareness catches up. That's what Dr. Stephen Porges calls neuroception. The body's ability to sense safety or threat without thought. It's a gift, but for the neurodivergent soul, it's often turned up higher, experiencing life on high volume. And that's exactly what was discussed in the Neurodivergent experience podcast, episode 81, Life on High volume. This sensitivity can make the world feel too bright, too loud, too fast. But it's also what gives us depth, empathy, artistry and intuition. So our work isn't to turn it off, it's to learn how to dance with it. And you'll see why soon. I mean that quite literally. So the body becomes a compass. Not something to control or suppress, but to read, to track its weather patterns, to learn which sensation signals green, that place of calm, connection, and which sensations whisper yellow or red, calling for care, movement, breath or rest. So using our bodies to signal safety is known as somatic regulation or bottom up healing. And it's really an act of curiosity. Instead of forcing the body to be calm, we begin to invite calm through awareness and movement. And you can think of animals in the wild. After a chase or threat, they shake and tremble and roll in the grass. That's not Random. That's their nervous system completing a stress cycle. And we humans often override this instinct. We sit still when our body wants to move. We smile when our chest wants to cry, and we tighten instead of tremble. And this is one of the many reasons why autistic masking can not only be exhausting, but detrimental to our nervous systems. And yet, as the trauma researcher Dr. Peter Levine reminds us, the body is not a memory bank to be emptied, but a river to be allowed to flow. So this is why practices like swaying, humming, stretching, tapping, or even lying on the earth are so powerful. They let that river move again. They speak directly to the body's ancient language of safety, movement, sound, rhythm, and breath. And for many neurodivergent souls, this language often shows up as stimming, rhythmic movements, like hand flapping, rocking, tapping, humming, or using sensory toys. These are not behaviors to suppress. They are expressions of self regulation, ways that the body naturally releases energy and restores equilibrium. When we honor them, instead of trying to control them, we honor the body's wisdom in motion. When you hum, you're soothing the vagus nerve. When you rock gently, you're giving your body the same comfort it once felt as an infant in safe arms. And when you do deliberate, elongated sighs, that long, unguarded exhale, your whole system gets the message. We're okay now. And as we explored in the Neurodivergent experience podcast, episode 60, autistic meltdowns and emotional regulation. A meltdown isn't a failure of willpower. It's the nervous system saying, I can't hold anymore. So somatic work gives you the tools to gently release that pressure before it builds to overwhelm. And when used regularly, somatic work can help to greatly reduce or even prevent autistic meltdowns. The body's language is ancient and subtle. Sometimes it speaks through stillness, and sometimes through movement, through tears, trembling, breath, or even a deep yawn. And every one of these is a form of communication. The body isn't broken when it does this. It's speaking. When we bring awareness to what's happening inside, rather than judging it, we begin to co regulate with ourselves. We become the calm presence our body has been longing for. And for some, that might look like lying on the floor and feeling the ground hold you. And for others could be covering yourself in a weighted blanket or gently tracing your skin with your fingertips. You're reminding the body, I'm here. I'm safe. You can rest now. Sensory nourishment is a form of spiritual practice. Texture, warmth, Scent, movement. These are all forms of prayer for the nervous system. And as you begin to reconnect with your body, remember, you don't need to do this perfectly. And safety isn't a constant state either. It's a rhythm. Your job isn't to stay in, rest, and digest forever. It's to build a flexible nervous system that can move gracefully between states, returning home more easily each time. Because your body remembers the way home. It always has. So curiosity opens the door, and movement walks us through it. The body has its own language, older than words, wiser than thought. And when we let it speak, it knows exactly how to find its rhythm again. And I'd love to share with you some of my favorite ways to regulate using the body. As we mentioned before, animals in the wild shake after stress to complete that stress cycle. And we can do that, too. One of the most beautiful ways to do this is through ecstatic dancing. There's no choreography. There's no right or wrong. It's just letting the body move intuitively to music. It's not about how it looks. It's about letting your body lead for once. And you can find ecstatic dance classes to go to. And the energy is always inclusive. People are encouraged to dance like no one's watching, to move however they need to. And something remarkable happens in those spaces. We suddenly feel free to be ourselves. This is one of the many reasons why people love to go to music festivals, as it feels like you can be your true self without being judged. But you don't need to go to a class or a festival. You can do this in your own home. You can dim the lights and turn up the music and just allow your body to speak its ancient language of rhythm. And I can remember going to my very first music Festival back in 2006, the Glade Festival, which was an offshoot of the much bigger Glastonbury Festival. I remember that first morning, walking into the festival on a blazing hot day, hearing the pulse of the bass long before I saw the crowd. And when I finally reached the main outdoor stage, I stopped in my tracks. Before me was a sea of people, hundreds of bodies, moving in time. Not talking, not thinking, just moving. It was instinctual. It was primal, and it was absolutely mesmerizing to witness. It was as if someone had handed humanity an ancient manual we had forgotten existed. And it turns out that's not far from the truth. Anthropologists now tell us that music, rhythm, and dance likely predates spoken language in human history. So before we had words, we danced our emotions we drummed our grief, we shook our joy. This is how our ancestors processed life through the body. So when you do this yourself, you are touching upon one of the most ancient aspects of our human history, of our humanity. And in addition to movement, there are many other things our body does automatically that we can consciously influence to signal safety. When we are stressed, our vision narrows. We go tunnel visioned, like a hunter locked on its prey. So practice widening your gaze. So if you're indoors right now, I'd like you to pick a spot on the wall right ahead of you and keep your eyes steady on that spot. And as you focus on that spot without moving your head, I'd like you to see how far you can stretch your peripheral vision. As you focus ahead, can you notice the walls, the ceiling, your hands in your lap? And just feel how your body begins to instantly soften. And you can also do this outside. Gaze out at the horizon. Let your eyes stretch into the distance. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, letting the body know that you're safe. It's especially important now, as we spend so much time on our phones. Hunched forward, vision tight, breath shallow, and posture. Oh, posture tells its own story. When we feel unsafe or insecure, our body language makes ourselves small. Shoulders curved, arms crossed, protecting our heart and belly, the vital organs. But we can reverse engineer that signal. Try standing tall, feet grounded, arms stretched high, chin lifted. This power pose, held for just two minutes, raises testosterone and lowers cortisol. It literally tells your nervous system, I am safe, I am strong. So the next time you find yourself hunched over your phone or curled inward, take a moment, unfurl, roll your shoulders back, lift your chin, widen your vision and breathe. These small, deliberate acts are signals of safety. They are micro movements of presence. They are how we come home to the body. And the body doesn't heal in isolation. It heals in connection. Our nervous systems are social systems and they learn safety through relationship. That's why co regulation. Breathing together, laughing, talking softly, or even just sitting quietly beside someone safe can be such powerful medicine. It's the same rhythm you find when the waves meet the shore and when trees sway together in the wind, or when two friends naturally fall into step on a walk. This is how our bodies remember belonging. And for the neurodivergent soul, this is especially important, because our nervous systems can run on higher volume, more easily tipped into alertness. The presence of someone grounded, a trusted friend, partner, therapist, or even a beloved pet, can become a tuning fork for calm. It's the reminder that you don't have to regulate alone. This is why friendship can help heal burnout. And laughter softens the body. And why the steady rhythm of a purring cat or dog's breathing beside you can draw you back into the green zone, back into safety. And Ram Dass said it perfectly when he said, we are all just walking each other home. And in that gentle walking, we teach each other what safety feels like. We remind one another how to rest in the body, in the breath, in belonging. And that is a beautiful way to microdose meaning. And as we move into today's practice, we're going to end with one of my favorite ways to calm the nervous system. A practice I try and do every single day. Yoga Nidra is a gentle invitation to rest so deeply that your body begins to remember what safety feels like. It's not about effort, it's about allowing. And Yoga Nidra isn't sleep and it isn't wakefulness. It's that beautiful bridge between the two. It's the space where the mind stays calmly focused while the body drops into deep restoration. This practice was one of the many ways I began to heal my own very dysregulated nervous system years ago. And I recommend it to everyone I know. A 20 to 30 minute yoga nidra can offer the body many of the same restorative benefits as several hours worth of sleep. It's wonderful to do in the morning after a difficult night or as a midday reset to carry you into the rest of your day. Or in the evening, it can become a soft landing, a way to unwind and signal safety to your whole system. However you choose to use it, know that you're giving your nervous system a precious gift, and over time you'll find it easier to drop in, rest deeply and regulate with more ease. So if you are currently driving or operating heavy machinery, please ensure to pause the recording until you can safely come back into stillness. And just find a quiet place where you can lie down or recline comfortably and let your arms rest by your sides and allow your eyes to gently close and take a slow breath in through your nose and let it out softly through your mouth and just allow your body to settle into the surface beneath you and feel the pull of gravity, the weight of your bones. The ground is holding you now. You can let go. Today, I'll be taking you on a guided rotation of consciousness throughout the physical body, allowing your body to deeply rest. As you continue to settle in, make sure your body is fully supported in any way that it needs. Right now, you may want to add an extra pillow for support or even a blanket to make sure you are nice and cozy. Good. That's right. And as you come into stillness, I will be taking your awareness to different parts of the body. Just make sure to relax. Lying in stillness and listening to the sounds of my voice. And if your mind wanders off at any point, just bring yourself back to the sound of my voice. I'm bringing to mind now an intention for today's practice, a short positive and in the present tense statement, affirming whatever message your body and mind needs to hear right now. Affirming this statement at both the beginning, beginning and the end of practice will help to create new positive neural pathways in your brain. An example could be, I trust in my body's ability to relax and restore, or I am safe in my body. My body is my home. Whatever message feels right to you, repeating silently inside now three times, bringing your awareness now to the crown of the head, the center of the forehead, the eyebrows, the space between the eyebrows, both eyes and eyelids, and all the little intricate muscles behind the eyes, both cheeks, the bridge of the nose, the tip of the nose, the upper lip, the lower lip, sensations inside of the mouth, the tip of the tongue, the root of the tongue, the middle of the throat, the base of the throat, both collarbones, both shoulders, both elbows, running down the arms now to both wrists and feel the thumbs on both hands. And now feeling all ten fingers at once, feeling both arms together, Awareness now to your heart center, the diaphragm, the pelvic bowl, both hip joints, running down the legs to both knees and down on to both ankles, both heels, Feeling both big toes at the same time, and then feeling all ten toes at once, feeling the entirety of both legs at the same time. Awareness now to the whole physical body, the whole body resting deeply, feeling the whole body and bringing awareness now to your breath, this constant companion that is always with you. The gentle rise and fall of the belly that happens all by itself. And as you notice your breathing, can you notice noticing your breathing and notice noticing your body can relax? And can you now just imagine, only imagine now in your mind's eye, can you imagine that you have now left your physical body and you're now viewing yourself from above, looking down at your body, lying down, deeply resting. And as you gaze down at yourself, deeply resting, I'd like you to begin sending a healing light, whatever color light resonates with you, and send this healing light towards yourself, this you that you are looking at lying down, and this beautiful Healing light enters in through the heart space of the you that is lying down. And you can watch and see this light begin to swirl all around you and within you. Bringing healing, bringing love, bringing a growth, mindset and self compassion. Whatever it is that your body and mind need right now, this healing light is bringing to you. That's right. And as you continue to watch this empowering and healing light show, I'd like you to bring back to mind the intention that you set at the beginning of this practice. And I'd like this healing light to fully emerge, embody this intention so that it is directly installing this intention within your body, mind and spirit. Reciting now silently three times as you watch this light fully install this intention within you. That's right. And now I'd like you to return to your physical body that you've been sending this healing light to. And gently taking your time to re embody into yourself in whatever way feels right to you right now. That's right. And as you are now again at one with your physical body, you can begin to notice the outline of your body and where your body ends and the space around you begins. And as you begin to reorganize, orient yourself back into full awareness, you can begin to make small movements, perhaps touching your thumbs to the tips of the other fingers, one by one, wiggling your toes and gently moving your head from side to side. And taking as much much time as you need, ensuring not to rush the process of fully coming back into the room. Your body is safe, your body is wise and your body remembers peace. Let these words echo softly within you. I am safe in my body. My body is my home. And when you're ready, not a moment before, you can feel free to gently open your eyes. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey into somatic awareness. A remembering of what your body has always known of returning to the home within. And if you'd like to go deeper into these practices, my 14 day nervous system Regulation Mastery course on Insight Timer is the perfect next step. It's a science backed guide to strengthening your regulation skills and transforming the way you move through the world. And next week we'll complete our November series with the Mind as Medicine. Exploring top down regulation where thought, imagination and awareness guide the nervous system into new harmony. Until then, may you meet your body with the same tenderness you'd offer a dear friend. And remember, we're all just walking each other home.
- [34:28]
Sleep Number Advertiser
Why choose a sleep number?
- [34:29]
Podcast Host
Smart bed Can I make my sight softer?
- [34:31]
Instacart/Sleep Number Advertiser
Can I make my sight firmer?
- [34:33]
Sleep Number Advertiser
Can we sleep cooler Sleep Number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side your Sleep Number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. It's our Black Friday sale, recharged this season with a bundle of cozy, soothing comfort. Now only $17.99 for our C2 mattress and base plus free premium delivery price is higher in Alaska and Hawaii. Check it out at a Sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today.
- [34:58]
Robert Mays
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- [35:29]
Podcast Host
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