← The Neurodivergent Experience
The Neurodivergent Experience
Mindful Mondays With Ashley Dupuy: Touch, Movement & the Neurodivergent Nervous System
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Welcome back to Mindful Mondays. I'm your host, Ashley Dupuis, and this is your weekly space to slow down, soften the edges, and meet your inner world with curiosity and care right here on the neurodivergent Experience podcast. So whether you're neurodivergent, highly sensitive, living with chronic illness, or simply fascinated by what it means to really live with presence in a human body, you are so welcome here. So before we dive in, a little reminder on how my private practice work is changing. My usual ongoing one to one work is coming to an end as I shift more of my energy into writing and group work and creating resources that can reach more people. But I'm opening one final, very intentional round of one to one journeys. Just six people each receiving six one to one sessions over three months starting in May. Three spots are already taken now and three remain. And you don't have to be neurodivergent. This is for anyone ready to explore their state and story and meet their inner world with gentleness rather than judgment. I'm also quietly building a small group coaching cohort that will begin in September where we'll walk this work together in community. More details will be on my website very soon, but I wanted you, the podcast listeners, to know first. So back to our episode over the last few weeks we've been exploring our senses through a neurodivergent lens. We've looked at sound, the symphony, the noise, the misophonia, and then light with its healing sunlight and harsh fluorescence. And today we turn towards touch and movement. The good, the bad and the ugly, the tender and painful, and the quietly miraculous ways our bodies are constantly talking to us. Because movement and touch aren't just extras on top of the mind. They're how the nervous system orients, how it regulates, and how it quietly whispers, you are here. You exist. You belong to this moment. So let's first start with the good Touch as regulation and movement as medicine. Think about the simple comfort of soft fabric between your fingers, or a favorite hoodie, or the weight of a blanket over your body. For many neurodivergent nervous systems, these things aren't just indulgences. They are regulation tools, sensory toys, stem objects, smooth stones, textured fabrics. They give the hands something to do, which gives the nervous system a channel for excess energy or emotion. And one of my favorite stories that I've read recently on a Tell me you're neurodivergent without telling me. Your neurodivergent Facebook page was about a man and his emotional support rock. It was a big, heavy rock that he found, and he carried this particular rock around because its texture was weight and feel grounded him. And to someone outside that experience, it might look odd. But from the inside, it's genius. Touch as self regulation, weight as companionship, and weighted blankets fall into this category too. That deep, even pressure activates pressure receptors in the skin and communicates safety to the brain, a bit like being gently held without having to negotiate social interaction or consent in real time. And for those of us whose touch history is complicated, weighted blankets can offer many of the benefits of contact without the complexity. A massage is another beautiful example. The lymphatic system, your body's cellular waste clearing network, has no pump of its own, so it relies on movement and pressure to flow. Gentle massage, whether given to you or self applied, can support lymphatic flow and ease muscular tension and bring you back into relationship with parts of your body that might feel numb or abandoned. And for neurodivergent folks who have spent many years living mostly in the mind, massage can be a way of reconnecting with our bodies. After years of being told to abandon how we feel physically, we disconnect more and more from our bodies. So it's important to find ways to reconnect and say, oh, there you are, I remember you and I'm going to put more trust into listening to you. And then there's co regulation through simple touch, holding hands, a hug that you actually want, sitting shoulder to shoulder on the sofa with someone you trust. These are not small things. Have you ever noticed how when you sit next to a loved one, your breathing subtly syncs up and hearts begin to beat in similar rhythms? This is the nervous system's language. I'm not alone, I'm safe enough to match you. And for many of us, one safe person we can hug is all it takes to feel that oxytocin soaked I can exhale. Moment and movement also offers its own deep regulation. Walking is one of the most underrated medicines we have. A simple walk after a meal helps digestion and it supports blood sugar so that you're less likely to crash later. And it reduces activity in the amygdala, that little almond shaped threat detector in the brain. And if you are walking outside, you also get the sunlight, the air, the horizon, our old friends from previous episodes we've spoken about. And balancing, standing on one leg or walking along a low curb or gentle Yoga strengthens the brain's ability to integrate information from vision, inner ear and body position. It literally sharpens the map your brain holds of where you are in space. And for those of us whose proprioception can be a bit dodgy, bumping into doorways or misjudging distances or feeling clumsy, this is really powerful Dance, of course, we've talked about many times. It's not just cardio, it's emotional processing, especially if alexithymia makes words difficult. In my own life, some of the biggest emotional releases I've ever had were on my living room floor with the music loud and arms flailing for the neurodivergent body dance can be one of the purest languages we have. And rocking and flapping are also beautiful examples of instinctive movement, stimming your body's own way of self regulating when words or stillness feels too much. Rocking side to side or front to back soothes the vestibular system, mimicking the comforting rhythm we knew in the womb or infancy, whilst also calming an overactive amygdala. And flapping. Those quick hand or arm movements releases excess energy and processes intense emotion and gives the nervous system a clear sensory signal. I'm moving through this, not stuck in it. And other gems like gentle bouncing on toes or even tapping rhythms on your thighs works the same way. They're not behaviors to fix, but intelligent tools that your neurodivergent wiring evolved and to help you stay present when the world feels overwhelming. And all of this movement, it also supports the lymphatic system, helping to clear out that cellular waste and lowering inflammation, and quietly supporting the whole organism of your body. When we move, our bodies are literally cleaning house. Okay, so we've looked at the good. Now it's time to look at the bad. When touch and movement feel like too much. Many neurodivergent people simply do not like hugs. And this is so important to normalize. Disliking hugs is not cruelty or coldness or being rude for some nervous systems. Abrupt close contact, especially with people they don't know well, it's simply too much input too fast, it overloads the system. And yet social norms often pressure us into hugging as a default at parties and family gatherings, church and school. And I'll be honest, I am a natural hugger. So I've had to actively train myself to ask, can I hug you? Instead of assuming. Many neurodivergent people I know who do dislike hugs have at least one or two people that they very much do enjoy hugging, where their body relaxes instead of braces. And those are really precious connections. And then there's the experience of certain textures or sensations on the skin. Not liking moisture, for example. I remember the validation of finally learning that my intense dislike of water droplets on my skin after a shower is actually quite common in our community. Getting out of the bath used to feel like a race. Dry everything. Now it seemed for the longest time anyone I told this to looked baffled when I mentioned it. But for me, and for so many of you, that sensation is intensely uncomfortable. And same with drawing my hands. I'm the person meticulously drawing between every finger while others just do a quick swipe and go. Our nervous systems aren't wrong, they're just registering more. And pressure to exercise can be another thing that many of us deal with. Being told we should exercise while living in a body with Ehlers Danlos or chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia or just lower baseline energy can create deep shame. The story becomes I'm lazy instead of My system has different needs, and for years exercise was a place of guilt for me. And now, with a very different story and more knowledge about my body, it has become one of my greatest blessings. But that shift took time, and I plan on doing a whole episode about my exercise experiences over the years and how you can learn to love exercising. So if you're feeling like you're just someone who doesn't like to exercise, stay tuned for a future episode on this and touch can also be exaggerated in both directions. Some people find hair brushing deeply soothing and others experience it as pain. Massage can feel like heaven for some and torture for others. Again, nothing is wrong here. It's data. It's your sensory profile. And then there's proprioception. That's the brain's sense of where the body is in space. For many neurodivergent beings, this system runs a little off, leading to clumsiness and misjudging distances and bumping into things. It's not just awkwardness, it's a literally different flow of information between body and brain. And then there's rushing. For many of us, especially if we have what's known in transactional analysis as a strong hurry up driver, moving fast feels productive, but our nervous system reads it very differently. Rushing tells the body we're not safe, we're behind, we're under threat, even if nothing dangerous is actually happening. So in a future series on the podcast, I'll be unpacking all five of these drivers and how how they show up in neurodivergent nervous systems. But for now, just notice what happens when you slow your movements just by 10%. Often your whole system starts to get the memo, ah, maybe we're okay after all. So we've done the good and the bad. Now time for the ugly. The reality is, many of you and I live inside every day. So there is a very high overlap between neurodivergence and chronic conditions like Ehlers Danlos syndrome, chronic fatigue or also known as me, fibromyalgia and other pain or exhaustion syndromes. And for those of us with EDS and hypermobility, ordinary movement can be genuinely risky. Joints dislocate and pain spikes and things that look gentle to others may be extreme for us. Dr. Nick Potter describes hypermobility as having tissues that are more like marshmallow than chewing gum. And the little receptors that tell your brain where you are in space don't get clear signals. So there's a mismatch between what your eyes see and what your body feels. And the brain interprets this as. My perception of the world is off and on the plains. When our nervous systems evolved, that meant one thing. Danger. If you trip when you're running from a predator, you are done. So the body does what it always does with danger. It generates fear and vigilance and movement. We fidget, we scan the periphery. We become hyper aware without fully understanding why. And I find it fascinating and heartbreaking that this literal, physical, my perception is off message mirrors what so many neurodivergent people describe. Emotionally, I don't know how to be in the world. Everyone else seems to get the rules but me. The metaphor and the biology run in parallel. So when you add chronic pain or exhaustion into the mix, movement can become more and more difficult. What started as a resource becomes another thing to feel guilty about not doing. This is where gentleness is everything. Two minutes of slow walking still counts. Stretching in bed still counts. Swaying to a single song still counts. And while we're here, we have to mention motion sickness as well. Many neurodivergent folks, and especially those of us with hypermobility or Ehlers danlos, live with a very sensitive vestibular system, the inner ear system, that helps us balance and sense movement. And for some car journeys, buses being a passenger scrolling on the phone in a moving vehicle, and even certain video games can trigger dizziness, nausea, or that awful. My brain and body don't agree about what's happening. Feeling it's your brain trying to reconcile mismatched signals from vision, body and inner ear. And understanding that link that your system is working overtime, not failing can be the first step in offering yourself more compassion and in building in small supports, like where you sit and what you look at and how long you stay in those situations. So how about we look at a little microdosing? Meaning? I want to offer you a simple idea that brings all of this together when you move forward literally, and when you move forward metaphorically, your system rewards you. And one generally helps the other as well. So a literal example is going for a walk. Each step forward, especially if you're moving towards something even slightly meaningful, a favorite tree or a glimpse of the ocean or a quiet bench, you receive a small pulse of dopamine. It's the brain's way of saying, keep going. This is good. And a metaphorical example of moving forward is making a phone call that you've been dreading, or starting a difficult but necessary conversation, or booking that appointment you've been meaning to, or writing the first paragraph of something that matters to you. These are also steps, and while they may not flood you with joy in the moment, they do often leave a subtle sense of meaning afterward. So when you're feeling stuck, can you ask yourself, is there one tiny way I can move forward in my body and in my life today? Maybe it's walking to the end of the road and back while listening to a song that understands you. Maybe it's sending one email that honors your needs. The scale doesn't matter, the direction does. Your brain and body are wired to reward movement, not hustle or overexertion, but honest, aligned forward motion, both physically and emotionally. And in a moment, we'll move into today's guided practice that plays with these ideas. But before we do, a very quick reminder. If this work is calling to you and you'd like to explore it more deeply with me, I am taking expressions of interest for that final round of one to one journeys beginning in May. Just three spots remain. If you're interested, you can reach out via email to integrativeiomail.com but for now, let's turn toward your own body with the same curiosity, kindness and respect you'd offer a beloved friend. So if you are currently driving or operating heavy machinery, please ensure to pause the recording now until you can safely come back into stillness. And if it's safe to do so, go ahead and gently close your eyes. And if closing the eyes doesn't feel good for your system, you you might simply soften your gaze instead looking down toward the floor or a still point in front of you. And just take a moment to let your body find whatever position is most supportive for you today. You might be sitting in a chair with your feet on the floor. You might be lying on your back or on your side. You might be propped up with cushions, or even standing, if that's what feels best. There is no correct posture in this space. There is only what is kind of and let's begin with a simple breath, inhaling gently through the nose if that's comfortable, and exhaling softly through the mouth as if you're fogging up a mirror. And again, breathing in. And breathing out. And with each exhale, see if you can let just one thin Layer of effort melt away. Good. That's right. Just let your shoulders drop and your jaw soften, simply allowing yourself to be here. And before we go inward, let's take a moment to orient to the space around you, to remind your nervous system, I am here. And here is safe enough for now. And if your eyes are closed and you feel comfortable doing so, you might like to open them briefly and look around the room and let your gaze move slowly, noticing the shapes and colors, light and shadow around you. Good. That's right. And then, if you'd like, gently close your eyes again or soften your gaze. And now notice the sounds around you. Sounds in the distance, sounds in this recording. And finally, notice the contact of your body with the surface that is holding you. The curve of your back against the chair, the weight of your feet on the floor or the bed. You are here. Your body is here. And for these few minutes, you are allowed to simply exist. Let's go ahead and introduce some very small movements. Movements. Now, let's start with the hands. Bring your awareness to your right hand. You don't have to move it yet, just notice it. Can you sense the outline of your palm and the length of each finger and the temperature of your skin? And can you now very gently begin to wiggle your fingers almost imperceptibly, tiny, curious movements. And notice the sensations in the joints, the tendons, the skin. And if it feels okay, slowly curl your hands into a soft fist and then gently open them again. And do this once or twice at your own pace, Just gathering information from your living body. Do the hands feel heavy or warm? What's the difference in feeling between the fist and the. Relax. And let's do a brief body map check in to simply let your brain know where you are in space. If it feels okay, bring one hand to rest on a neutral area, like the upper arm or the outside of the shoulder, or maybe over your heart space. Just let your hand rest there and notice the contact, the weight of your hand and the area of your body underneath. And after a breath or two, Slowly move your hand to a different neutral spot, perhaps the opposite shoulder, or maybe over your navel. And again, just notice, I am here. You are simply giving your nervous system a few clear points of reference each time you're quietly updating your brain's map. Here I am. This is me. And now let's invite a little whole body movement. Very gentle, very small. If you're sitting, you might begin to sway slightly from side to side, as if you were a tree in A very soft breeze. Or if you're lying down, you might rock your knees gently from left to right. Or simply imagine the feeling of being rocked. Let the movement be slow and easy, and notice how this movement affects your sense of where you are in space. And if it feels soothing, you can imagine that you're being rocked the way you would rock a child, with patience and steadiness. Your nervous system loves predictable rhythmic movement, and you're giving it exactly that. And you might like to sync your breath with this way. Inhaling as you move one way and exhaling as you move the other way. Or simply letting the breath do whatever it wants, just staying here for a few cycles, letting your body find its own natural tempo. And let's bring some attention down into the lower body now, particularly your feet. If your feet are on the floor, notice the contact, The pressure of your heels, the balls of your feet, the toes. If you're lying down, you can bend the knees so the soles of the feet are resting on the surface beneath you. Or you can simply imagine your feet pressing into the ground. And very gently press your feet down by just a few percent, just enough to feel engagement in the legs. And then release. Press in again and release. And as you continue to do this, imagine that with each soft press, you are reminding your body, I have a place here. Gravity holds me. The earth knows where I am. You don't have to push hard. This is not a workout. It's a conversation with your nervous system, using gentle pressure as language. And if it feels okay, you might combine this with a quiet inner phrase like, as my feet press down, I feel myself arriving. Or simply here on the press. Now on the release. Good. That's right. And now let's just drop all effort, allow all movement to come to a natural pause. And bring your awareness to your whole body at once. From the crown of your head down through your face and neck, your shoulders, arms and hands, your chest and belly, your pelvis, legs and feet. And notice what's changed since we began. Maybe your breath is a little slower. Maybe you feel slightly more located inside your skin. Maybe nothing seems different at all. That's okay too. Sometimes the shifts are tiny, happening deep inside where we can't yet name them. Just take a moment to silently thank your body for anything it is allowed today. Any movement, any touch, any breath. You don't need to be pain free or fatigue free or symptom free to be worthy of gratitude for your body. You and your body have survived every day of your life so far. What a wonder to behold. Before we come back, I'd like to offer you a simple invitation that you can carry into the rest of your day or week. When you feel emotionally stuck, can you let one part of you move? That might be your feet taking you for a three minute walk, or it might be your hands stroking a smooth or soft object, or it might be your shoulders rolling, or it could be a tiny rock or sway while you're waiting in line. You don't have to fix the whole feeling. You just have to let your body know we're still moving, we're not trapped, and take one more slow, comfortable breath in and a long, gentle exhale out. Begin to wiggle your fingers and toes. Perhaps take a nice stretch or even yawn if you need to. And when you're ready, and only when you're ready, can feel free to gently open your eyes, bringing this sense of gentle movement and kind touch with you into whatever comes next. Thank you so much for joining me today and for being willing to meet your body, its movement, its stillness, its textures, with a little more kindness and curiosity. And if today's practice resonated, you'll find many more ways to work with your nervous system. Over on my Insight Timer channel, just search for Ashley Dupuis. There you'll find my Nervous system Regulation Mastery course, yoga, Nidras, bedtime stories and other practices designed especially with sensitive and neurodivergent systems in mind. Next week we'll be continuing our series on the senses by turning toward another powerful realm, smell and taste. How scent, flavor and food show up in neurodivergent lives. We'll explore everything from sensory aversions and safe foods to comfort eating, nostalgia and the way smell can transport us through time in a single breath. I think it's going to be a really special one. Until then, may you move gently. May you find at least one tiny way to let your body move with you instead of against you. And may you remember in those little moments of rocking, walking or steadying your hands on something smooth, you're saying, here I am, here I am. This is me. And remember, as always, we are all just walking each other home.
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