Transcript
Andy Borowitz (0:01)
From One World Trade center in Manhattan, this is the New Yorker Radio Hour, a co production of the New Yorker and WNYC Studios.
David Remnick (0:10)
Welcome to the New Yorker Radio Hour. I'm David Remnick. For this episode, I'm just going to turn things over to my friend and colleague Andy Borowitz, who's got something very special in store for us.
Interviewer (possibly Andy Borowitz) (0:26)
On the periodic chart of metal, one band is heavier than the rest. Its atomic weight is 11. Its name is Spinal Tap. Led by singer David St. Hubbins and guitarist Nigel Tufnell, Spinal Tap made music history with their seminal 1984 rockumentary, this is Spinal Tap. But it was their bassist, Derek Smalls, who left an unremovable mark with his tasty licks on Tap's majestic hit, Big Bot.
Derek Smalls (0:59)
The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushing. That's what I said.
Interviewer (possibly Andy Borowitz) (1:04)
Flash forward 34 years. Whatever happened to Derek Smalls? Is he still alive? And more importantly, can he still rock? Well, Derek Smalls answers those questions and some others that no one has asked. On his first ever solo album, Smalls change. Meditations upon Aging. Derek Smalls, welcome to the New Yorker Radio Hour.
Derek Smalls (1:26)
Oh, thank you so much.
Interviewer (possibly Andy Borowitz) (1:27)
And you look fantastic. You look alive to me. I'm not a doctor, but you do look. You look good.
Derek Smalls (1:32)
Well, I feel good. I had a little incident, which is why my chops, my facial hair is not where it used to be.
Interviewer (possibly Andy Borowitz) (1:41)
But what was the incident? Tell me.
Derek Smalls (1:42)
I was a friend of mine. It's an old friend, Eddie Dregs. He's moved to Scunthorpe, England. Late summer, early autumn. These strange gusts of wind will sometimes whip up in the countryside. I mean, Scunthorpe's not, you know, it's not London, let's put it that way. Anyway, I was walking down the street and I see this little cat, sweet little, you know, tiny little cat. And all of a sudden, one of these gusts whips up and whips the cat right into my face.
Interviewer (possibly Andy Borowitz) (2:15)
Oh, my gosh.
Derek Smalls (2:16)
