Asparagus Psychics & More Brooklyn Beckham Hot Takes

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Nightly – “Asparagus Psychics & More Brooklyn Beckham Hot Takes”

Host: Hatch Podcasts
Date: February 1, 2026
Participants: Mat (A), Kristen (B)

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Episode Overview

This cozy late-night episode of The Nightly is a pop-culture-filled slumber party in podcast form. Hosts Mat and Kristen unwind with chatty vibes covering buzzy TV recommendations, hilarious pub quiz trivia, and some of the weirdest news of the week—including an asparagus-throwing psychic and the latest Brooklyn Beckham family drama. The conversation flows like a warm pub chat, mixing offbeat news, gentle jokes, and snuggly recommendations, perfect for bedtime wind-downs.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cozy Winter Routines & TV Faves

[01:32 – 03:54]

• Kristen shares her recent focus on hygge-inspired winter coziness: “Staying in a lot, watching all the buzzy TV shows...what the Danish people would call Hygge time, you know, light some candles, get under some blankets, read a book.” (Kristen, 01:32)
• Buzzy TV Pick: Heated Rivalry, a Canadian drama about two hockey players. Kristen notes the rarity of queer representation in sports stories and recommends it as a complement to the real-world Olympics.
• Book Recommendation: Mat mentions “Bear Town” by Frederick Backman—a Scandinavian hockey-themed novel with an HBO adaptation, adding to the hygge winter suggestions.

2. Brooklyn Beckham Family Drama

[05:08 – 07:06]

• Mat and Kristen dive into the latest wave of gossip about Brooklyn Beckham’s Instagram rants, where he aired awkward family tensions:
  • “Brooklyn spoke about it at length... paragraphs and paragraphs of spilling tea.” (Kristen, 05:27)
  • The big ‘scandal’? Embarrassing motherly dancing at his wedding.
  • Mat shares a hilarious personal anecdote about “meeting” Brooklyn Beckham at a urinal: “We urinated together, me and Brooklyn Beckham.” (Mat, 06:30)

3. Asparagus Fortune Telling: The Asparamancer

[07:43 – 13:20]

• The eccentric news of the night: Jemima Packington, Bath’s 69-year-old “asparamancer,” who predicts the future by throwing asparagus up in the air and “deciphering their landing patterns.”
  • “This is Jemima Packington, 69, who is known as the world’s only asparamancer. And I’ll be honest, she looks exactly how you’d think she’d look.” (Mat, 08:09)
• Her big 2026 predictions (as revealed by asparagus):
  • Political upheaval in the UK
  • Shocking US election outcomes
  • Major flooding
  • Celebrity scandals and surprise deaths
  • Swing-style music overtaking K-pop (Kristen: “Swing’s coming back!” [09:51])
  • England soccer fans to have a tremendous World Cup
• The hosts chuckle over the broadness of these prophecies (“Politics will be messy and there’ll be climate change.” – Kristen, 09:33), suggesting anyone could try “vegetable-based” fortune-telling.
• Notable banter about better vegetable psychic names:
  • “I could be the world’s foremost romaine lettucemancer.” (Kristen, 12:30)

4. Pub Quiz Trivia Night

[13:57 – 18:35]

• Mat relays that his usual pub team rival “Denser” (an elderly team, play on “Mensa”) is now half-depleted, giving him a better chance at victory.
• Challenging pub quiz questions from this week:
  • National Animal of Australia?
    Correct answer is the "red kangaroo," not just "kangaroo" (Kristen gets tripped up: “Oh, no. Are they even that different?” – 15:31).
  • Who invented the little black dress?
    Kristen nails it with “Coco Chanel” (16:22).
  • Where’s Billie Eilish from?
    Correct answer: Los Angeles (“We just went with USA, which apparently, like the asparagusmancer, far too vague for that pop quiz.” – Mat, 17:26).
  • Which famous American pop band was originally called Kara’s Flowers?
    Correct answer: Maroon 5 (18:04)
• Gentle teasing throughout as Kristen scores poorly, quipping: “I think I need to go to a pub where the average age is maybe seven and then maybe I’d do better.” (Kristen, 18:35)

5. Wholesome End Notes: Bluey & Bedtime

[18:46 – 19:35]

• Mat shares his new habit of watching Bluey (Australian kids show) because “my cat really likes it.”
• Kristen wraps up with: “As I drift off to sleep, I will think of vegetables and trivia and make predictions for the future. But maybe I’ll share those predictions next time.”
• Invitation for listeners: Share your own “vegetable psychic names” and bedtime stories at [e-mail].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |-----------|----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:32 | Kristen | “What the Danish people would call Hygge time… light some candles, get under some blankets, read a book.” | | 05:27 | Kristen | “Brooklyn spoke about it at length… paragraphs and paragraphs of spilling tea.” | | 06:30 | Mat | “We urinated together, me and Brooklyn Beckham.” | | 08:09 | Mat | “Jemima Packington, 69, known as the world’s only asparamancer… she looks exactly how you’d think she’d look.” | | 09:33 | Kristen | “All of that seems vague. Like politics will be messy and there’ll be climate change.” | | 09:51 | Kristen | “Whoa. Okay, swing’s coming back.” | | 12:30 | Kristen | “I could be the world’s foremost romaine lettucemancer.” | | 15:31 | Kristen | “Oh no. Are [red kangaroo and kangaroo] even that different?” | | 16:22 | Kristen | “Coco Chanel.” (On who invented the little black dress; gets it right on the first try.) | | 17:26 | Mat | “We just went with USA, which apparently, like the asparamancer, far too vague for that pub quiz.” | | 18:35 | Kristen | “I think I need to go to a pub where the average age is maybe seven and then maybe I’d do better.” | | 19:21 | Kristen | “As I drift off to sleep, I will think of vegetables and trivia and make predictions for the future.” |

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Important Timestamps

• [02:32] Kristen recommends Heated Rivalry
• [05:08] Brooklyn Beckham gossip begins
• [07:43] Asparamancer discussion starts
• [13:57] Pub quiz trivia segment
• [18:46] Bluey/bedtime chat and wrap-up

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Overall Tone

• Warm, light-hearted, delightfully silly
• Gentle teasing and playful rapport
• Encouraging relaxation, conversation, and finding joy and oddity in everyday stories

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Listener Takeaway

This fun, meandering episode will leave you grinning and ready for sleep, brimming with quirky facts (asparagus psychics! Canadian hockey romance! Red kangaroos! Maroon 5’s original band name!) and the kind of companionship you want at the end of a long day.

Transcript

[A]

Hello. You're about to drift into an episode of the Nightly a podcast designed to help you unwind and relax. For the full phone free immersive light experience, visit Hatch Co. Enjoy. Alright, I'm Mat.

[B]

And I'm Kristen and this is the nightly from Hatch a slumber party for pop culture lovers.

[A]

Even more than that, Kristin, it is our weekly pub chat which I'm always.

[B]

Excited to do and I'm always excited to be a part of. Anytime I get to be a part of your pub chat, it really is just the highlight of my day. I get so excited for all the fun local news. Some of it that just feels so hyper local. Some of it that feels like it should be in a cozy little bedtime mystery book that I'm reading before bed. And I as usual, am looking forward to the stories you have tonight for us.

[A]

Well, you're absolutely in luck cause got plenty of that. Also got a few pub quiz questions that tripped me up this week at my local pub quiz. So see how you get on with them. But first of all, before I get stuck into about everything that I want to talk about, what's going on with you, Kristin?

[B]

I am doing great. I've been doing a lot of cozy winter things lately. Staying in a lot, watching all the buzzy TV shows, having all the blankets on me, just, you know, taking the stress off, like oh, I don't need to go out, I don't need to see this thing or go see that person. Just a lot of cozying up. I guess what the Danish people would call Hygge time, you know, light some candles, get under some blankets, read a book.

[A]

Nice. Yeah, you gotta make time for that. Yeah. What is when you say buzzy TV shows? Bearing in mind I'm three or four episodes away currently from finally finishing the Sopranos. So That's a buzzy TV show.

[B]

Very buzzy. 1999. Yeah, yeah, last century I think that was.

[A]

I got a lot of catching up to do, Kristen, I won't lie. So when I eventually get in about sort of 30 years time, what should I be watching that you've got on at the minute?

[B]

Well, I finally watched Heated Rivalry, the Canadian.

[A]

Oh, is it the hockey.

[B]

Yes, it's the show from Canada with the hockey players who fall in love. It's a very sexy show, It's a fun watch. I don't wanna give it all away, but it's so rare that we get to see love stories of people in very, very closete like hockey, professional sports, footy over there, you know, I mean, how often do we get to see love stories of people who are same sex in these sports on screen? It's not very often. And it's nice to have things to cheer for, right?

[A]

Yeah, it sounds nice. There's not many nice TV series that are popular.

[B]

And also, I mean, if you are somebody who loves the international Games, we call the Olympics, which are happening any second now or happening right now, if you're into that, maybe heated rivalry will be a nice pairing for you because that way you can watch a dramatization of two imaginary teams and imaginary players where they're trying their best on and off the ice. And, you know, you can do that, enjoy that, and then watch some real athletes cheer for your home country while they do the same thing. Maybe. Maybe somebody will even come out on the ice during the Olympics. Who knows?

[A]

Oh, no. Perfect timing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, that's a really. It's genius from the people that made the show as well. Great time to put it out, but that's it. So, weirdly, I've had a real hockey centric year so far because I had no idea about it at all. And then I read a book called Bear Town, which I don't think is the same thing that you're talking about, but it has been adapted for like an HBO series. I think it was based in Scandinavia.

[B]

I'll have to check that out next.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's a really good read. Frederick Backman, I think is the author's name. But yeah, good introduction to hockey as well. I feel like I'd enjoy watching it.

[B]

And Scandinavian. So adding to my Hygge delights, my Hygge experiences. Get under the blankets. Read Beartown.

[A]

Yes, exactly. But for now, I'm gonna have to get you out of the blankets and get you really on trial here, Kristen, because I wanted to start with a national borderline international news story this week that's been occupying sort of my head and all the, like, papers over here. Have you seen the fallout of the Brooklyn Beckham stuff?

[B]

I. I'm not totally embarrassed to admit that I've possibly spent hours reading about this. Excellent. It's been kind of brewing for a couple of years now, but it really recently, very recently reached ahead.

[A]

It really blew up, didn't it?

[B]

Because Brooklyn spoke about it at length.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On his Instagram stories, like we're talking paragraphs and paragraphs of spilling tea.

[A]

He really went nuclear with it, didn't he? It's a long raid.

[B]

He did. Yes.

[A]

I wasn't entirely convinced either when you went from story to story. I kept thinking, like, on the next one, there'll be a massive kind of revelation. But a lot of it was. It's just sort of like, oh, she was embarrassing at my wedding. It's like, yeah, at some point, there's always a family member at a wedding who embarrasses you.

[B]

According to Brooklyn's social media story, his mom was dancing on him in the most uncomfortable, mortifying way. But you don't believe that story would feel weird to you if that was happening?

[A]

Well, if that is absolutely true, that's mortifying. Yeah. That's how I met Brooklyn Beckham last year.

[B]

Oh, you did?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How was that?

[A]

I say I met him. That's probably a bit grandiose. I was at the urinal next to him, so we urinated together, me and Brooklyn Beckham.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

We sort of said hello. He was very nice, you know, man of few words, but I can't wait for the Instagram stories to come out about that.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

But anyway, enough of the big story, Kristen. We've got. We've only got so much time and I've got some big stuff coming your way that we just. We can't leave this behind because I've gone local, as always, and there is huge news coming out of Bath, which is sort of on the west, sort of west side of England, on the way to Wales. Out that way.

[B]

Lovely, beautiful historic town. Ancient bath houses, the famous Bath Teddy Bear Company. It's an adorable place. Very beautiful, yes.

[A]

Yeah. But it's a spa town, so it's. Yeah, very, very nice.

[B]

So it's also luxurious. It's all of these things.

[A]

Yeah, it's all that. But biggest of all is the bath. Asparagus fortune teller has come out.

[B]

What?

[A]

And made her predictions for this year.

[B]

Oh, hold on. This person predicts what's going to happen with asparagus in the next year?

[A]

That is correct, yeah. Don't sound so surprised.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

Well, this is Jemima Packington, 69, who is known as the world's only asparamancer. And I'll be honest, she looks exactly how you'd think she'd look.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So she forecasts the future by hurling asparagus spears. And she's made a couple of predictions, which I would say they're pretty broad, but she accurately predicted the queen dying, by the way.

[B]

I mean, is that that accurate when somebody's over 90 years old?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if you throw enough asparagus at the wall, Some of it will stick, won't it? I guess is the.

[B]

Okay, okay, but continue.

[A]

So the clairvoyant is the globe's sole asparamancer and insists that she can glimpse tomorrow by launching asparagus spears skyward and deciphering their landing patterns. She has now unveiled her key forecasts for 2026, cautioning of governmental change in the UK, shocking election outcomes in the US and flooding that will wreak havoc on infrastructure.

[B]

Okay, I feel like none of these predictions are that different than the queen who's in her late 90s may die.

[A]

It's kind of vague, isn't it?

[B]

I mean, I don't know. I would want her to be a little bit more specific. All of that seems vague. Like politics will be messy and there'll be climate change.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's gonna be some weather related weather occurrences.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Well, if it helps, she's also anticipated scandals engulfing cherished soap stars, surprise celebrity deaths, and a musical revolution with swing style melodies overtaking K Pop. Whoa. Okay, that's an interesting one. So swing's coming back.

[B]

Yeah. Do you remember when everybody was into swing dancing, Matt?

[A]

Do I remember? When would that have been? When was swing like swing dancing?

[B]

All through the. Was it the mid to late 90s, swing dancing was all the rage. And so it was in all these commercials for like the Gap and other brands and stores and products. And then all these movies had subplots about swing dancing, like the movie Swingers. So swing dancing was everywhere in like the 90s and early 2000s. Do you not remember this?

[A]

So it's already had one resurgence then? I've got no recollection of that because, I mean, to be fair, I was born in 92.

[B]

So you weren't like a 10 year old going out to swing dance?

[A]

No, no, I was more into the rave scene.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

At eight years old. Yeah. She's also tipped a tremendous World cup for England fans.

[B]

Oh, that would be great if that came true, right?

[A]

That would be fantastic if that came true. In fact. Yeah, that's in the U.S. i'm gonna come over to the U.S. in the summer.

[B]

Are you really?

[A]

Yeah. Gonna do a few weeks, watch a few England games or plan nice.

[B]

Oh, man. If we're near each other, we'll have to hang out.

[A]

We could ask Jemima, see if a meeting's on the cards. She said that her forecasts are typically 75 to 90% accurate, which is of years of honing her skills. So.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

She just throws the asparagus in the air and how it lands tells you about K pop and swing dancing.

[A]

Yeah, that's all you need. You just need some asparagus.

[B]

But she is the world's foremost aspera asparaga asparamancer.

[A]

Please have some respect.

[B]

So it's not just like anybody can throw asparagus in the air and get the results she does.

[A]

No, Kristen, for the last time. It's years of honing her skills. You say anyone could just go out there and throw asparagus in the air.

[B]

I mean, I want to now. I want to see if I can.

[A]

Maybe you've got it. You might have the gift and you don't know. If you just go in your fridge, pick out some vegetables and just lob them at the floor.

[B]

You know, maybe I should just choose a different vegetable so she doesn't feel like I'm trying to steal her thunder. Also, I could be the world's foremost romaine lettuce answer or something like that.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like she went with asparagus because the name works really well, doesn't it? A sparamancer. You'd have to come up with a snappier name than that and I think you'd be hard pressed to do that. I think she has actually nailed it.

[B]

Yeah. I can't think of another vegetable that sounds so good in that context, unfortunately.

[A]

We'll work on it. As always, any listeners, please do get in touch. If you've got any vegetable related seeing powers or names, do get in touch. We'd love to hear from you.

[B]

Yeah, write to [e-mail] co. Yeah.

[A]

Yes. And in the subject line it should be some sort of asparamancer related quip, please. So there you go. I mean that's what's going on over here, Kristen. And what I like to do in these pub chats is I do a pub quiz every week at my local pub.

[B]

Do you have a funny punny name for your team?

[A]

We try and try and be a bit topical.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, try and stand out from the crowd because you get the same sort of ones all the time. Our arch rivals used to be a team of elderly people called Denser. So it's Mensa, but with a D. Denser.

[B]

Okay. That's cute.

[A]

Yeah. And they were just unbelievable. So luckily. I say unlucky. I say luckily. Obviously for the families, not so much. But they are. Half of denture are no longer with us, which has increased our chances exponentially.

[B]

Not that we wish death for our competitors at.

[A]

No, not at all at pub trivia. But it does help when they're not in the way. But there was a few questions this week that tripped me up and I like to write them down and just bring them to you and just see if you'd fare any better with it. The first one, and this sounds like it's an easy one. What's the national animal of Australia?

[B]

Oh, no. Okay. Because they have a soccer team. I'm sorry, a football team called the Wallabies. Everybody has a kangaroo in their yard. Koala bears roam free. I'm gonna say the kangaroo.

[A]

We went with kangaroo. You would think that's straightforward. Didn't get the point for that because it's actually the red kangaroo.

[B]

Oh, no. Are they even that different?

[A]

Well, yeah, no, I think red kangaroo is. That's your base kangaroo, so. But you wouldn't have got the point there, Kristin.

[B]

I would have lost that pub quiz.

[A]

Oh, yeah, well, you would have lost that.

[B]

I do suppose a red panda is different from a panda. Very different animals. The red panda is more like a raccoon, actually.

[A]

Yeah, red pandas are tiny, aren't they?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they are. So I get it. A red kangaroo different from a kangaroo. Got it. Okay, okay. Lost that one.

[A]

But you can still, you can still make it back. And this next question speaks volumes about the demographic of my pub quiz team. We didn't get this. Who invented the iconic little black dress?

[B]

Oh, Coco Chanel.

[A]

Bingo. First time straight out the gate.

[B]

Really? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Got it.

[A]

1920S. We guessed them. Asda, which is of course Walmart in the us but it was Coco Chanel. Yeah.

[B]

Well, Team Asparum answer for the win for that one question.

[A]

Yes. And finally. Well, maybe there might be two if we've got time, but this one's really annoying. Didn't get the point. Where's Billie Eilish from Kristen?

[B]

Ooh, Texas. Oh, my God. I don't know.

[A]

It is Los Angeles.

[B]

Oh, that should be obvious. Aren't all entertainers from Los Angeles?

[A]

I thought they just moved there, though.

[B]

Beyonce's from Texas.

[A]

Oh, is that why she started doing the whole cowboy hatchtick?

[B]

I think so, yeah. I think that's part of it.

[A]

I wondered where that came from.

[B]

Los Angeles. Oh, darn it.

[A]

Yeah, we just went with the USA for that one, which apparently, like the Esperamanza, far too vague for that pop quiz. I've got one more, which is also a music based question. Didn't get this, but great bit of trivia for you for future quizzes which famous American pop band was originally called Cara's Flowers?

[B]

Zuzu's Petals.

[A]

No, That's a great band name, though.

[B]

It sounds like it could be like, oh, let's just tweak this a little bit and we'll call ourselves Zuzu's Petals. But no. What is it?

[A]

Good guess. But though, yeah, it was Maroon 5.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Those names don't sound anything alike at all.

[A]

They really don't. They went in a totally different direction.

[B]

Okay, so I am not even on the leaderboard. I'm not at the top of the leaderboard. I'm not on the board at all.

[A]

No, no. You're gonna have to try again to audition for our team. But okay, it was a very good effort. And you still got one right that we didn't, so.

[B]

Oh, God, I would not do well at your pub. I think I need to go to a pub where the average age of the player is maybe seven and then maybe I'd do better.

[A]

Having said that, I know there's very little crossover between me and a 7 year old. I just started watching Bluey cause my cat really likes it. You see? Bluey?

[B]

No, your cat?

[A]

Yeah, my cat loves casting.

[B]

Your cat says, can you turn on Bluey for me, please?

[A]

I'm all for it. It's a great watch.

[B]

Cat's like, I don't have opposable thumbs. I can't work this remote control. But you know what I want to watch.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I know what she wants on. I'll sort it for her.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Well, Krista, this has been a lot of fun. I'm. I'm getting pretty sleepy, though. I think it's about that time, isn't it?

[B]

Oh, yeah. This has been so much fun. I'm ready to get back under the covers. And as I drift off to sleep, I will think of vegetables and trivia and make predictions for the future. But maybe I'll share those predictions next time.

[A]

Matt.

[B]

Have a good night.

[A]

I look forward to it. Good night, Kristen. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch Co. You can also follow us at Hatch Podcasts.