The Nightly — “Bringing Back Pies in the Face” w/ Amber Wallin

Date: March 17, 2026
Host: Hatch Podcasts (Kristen & Josh)
Guest: Amber Wallin (Comedian, podcast host, “Quit Playing with Jasmine and Amber”)

Episode Overview

This cozy, lighthearted episode of The Nightly brings comedian Amber Wallin into the podcast's signature “pillow fort” for a pop culture slumber party. Kristen, Josh, and Amber riff on unusual business ideas, discuss the daily joys (and chaos) of parenthood, and nostalgically call for the return of classic, silly punishments like pies in the face for everyday annoyances. The conversation blends sleep advice, self-acceptance, and plenty of comedic banter for a bedtime listen that soothes and entertains.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Nightgown Normalization & Sleep Routines

• Nightgown Advocacy
  • Amber jokingly campaigns to normalize wearing nightgowns out in public.
  • Kristen, Josh, and Amber trade quips about ‘house coats with brooches’ and layering sweatpants and robes for optimal comfort.
    • “We just need to like normalize wearing nightgowns out of the house...” — Amber (01:11)
• Sleep Tips
  • Amber shares that with two young kids and a busy home, she has no trouble falling asleep—the exhaustion takes care of any insomnia.
    • “The minute my head hits the pillow, it is lights out for me...I highly recommend overworking yourself with motherhood.” — Amber (02:18)
  • The group jokes about parenting-induced fatigue versus kid-induced sleeplessness.
    • “Those kids are wearing you down to the point where you can't stay up all night.” — Josh (03:02)
    • Amber describes falling asleep mid-story, only to wake up drooling after her kid is still awake.

[00:57–04:17] — Sleep routines, parenting fatigue, and coffee preferences

Half-Baked Business Idea Pitches

1. “My Turn to Intern” (Josh’s Idea)

• Concept:
  • A job shadow service for adults; anyone can pay a small fee to follow a professional (doctor, chef, bus driver) for a day—no actual duties, just observing, but the group jokes about making participants try a “performance task” at the end (e.g., drive a bus a few stops, serve legal papers).
• Comedic Expansion:
  • “By the end of the shift, you need to change, you know, a valve or something.” — Amber (06:28)
  • “I think most people with a driver's license could do three bus stops.” — Josh (08:17)

[04:26–10:00] — Business brainstorming, including jobs people fantasize about (Kristen dreams of being a mail carrier, Amber sets her straight with behind-the-scenes realities).

2. “Toot” — Professional Hype-people (Kristen’s Idea)

• Concept:
  • You hire someone (like Kristen or Amber) to “toot your horn” in social scenarios—high school reunions, weddings, family gatherings—embellishing your achievements and boosting your confidence.
• Tone:
  • Funky and playful; Kristen wants the brand to embrace humor and not take itself too seriously.
    • “Toot has a sense of humor to it. Toot says, we're not taking this too seriously...” — Kristen (14:22)
  • Amber volunteers for “employee number one,” explaining she already hypes strangers for fun.
    • “This is the job made for me. Truly.” — Amber (12:30)
    • “There's nothing more validating than getting a compliment from a stranger.” — Amber (12:52)
  • “If your uncle doesn't respectfully call you doctor, I'm gonna shake him by the shoulders.” — Josh (13:41)
• Role Play & Costumes:
  • Kristen offers to pose as any role—romantic partner, sibling, business partner—at a client’s event and promises to “toot” on command.
    • “I'll be anything you want me to be. I'll be your business partner...I'll toot. I'll toot you all night. Toot your horn.” — Kristen (15:08)

[11:08–16:12] — Hypepeople startup, social anxieties, and the joy of excessive cheering.

3. “Bring Back Pies in the Face” (Amber’s Idea)

• Concept:
  • Proposes a whimsical social corrective: harmless public “punishments" for small offenses—someone who doesn’t return their shopping cart, clips toenails in public, or interrupts in meetings gets a pie in the face.
    • “I think there needs to be...for minor inconveniences here and there...I think that we need to go back to a time where we pie people in the face.” — Amber (16:29)
• Systematizing the Pie:
  • Different pies for different infractions—mild whipped cream for minor slip-ups, lemon meringue for “shant-have-done” offenses.
    • “If you got, like, a good lemon meringue to the face, you know, you really messed up.” — Amber (18:55)
  • “I think, feels like justice has been served. It’s less of a...penalty that’s supposed to ruin your life.” — Josh (17:55)
• Connecting Ideas:
  • The trio jokes about merging their businesses: Toot for positivity, pies for correction, internships for learning.
  • “We are actually partnering with Toot in the fourth quarter this year because we both have great ideas.” — Amber (19:32)
  • Business buzzwords parody: “We're going to circle back and close the loop on this business idea...KPIs are going to be through the roof.” — Kristen & Amber (19:50-19:58)

[16:29–20:17] — Pies as social feedback, harmless justice, and silly corporate speak.

Notable Moments & Quotes

• “Kids are fatigue resistant. Truly. I’m like, they need to bottle this. I would buy it immediately.” — Amber (03:43)
• “It’s not that the dogs bite you. No one’s happy to see their mailman. The tips aren’t good around Christmas.” — Amber on being a mail carrier (10:19)
• “It could be a problem. Like, if I walk into the wrong situation and there’s cheering, I might accidentally join in.” — Kristen (15:56)
• “The whoopee cushion version of this business is also called Toot, actually.” — Josh (19:28)
• “I wish a nightmare on your enemies.” — Amber (23:09)

Important Timestamps

• [00:57] — Amber joins, discussion of sleep tips begins.
• [04:26] — Business pitch session: Josh’s “My Turn to Intern.”
• [11:08] — Kristen introduces “Toot.” Amber’s enthusiasm and stories.
• [16:29] — Amber introduces “Bring Back Pies in the Face.”
• [19:50] — All three riff on silly business jargon and merge their ideas.
• [21:09] — Amber plugs her standup tour and podcast.
• [22:34] — Amber’s whimsical “goodnight” to listeners.
• [23:09] — "I wish a nightmare on your enemies." (Amber's goodnight).
• [23:11–24:31] — Warm goodbyes and episode wrap-up.

Where to Find Amber Wallin

• Standup Comedy Tour: Traveling along East/West Coast, shows regularly announced on her Instagram.
• Instagram: @burr.i.am (“like will.i.am but nobody got the joke but me”)
• Podcast: "Quit Playing with Jasmine and Amber" — comedic takes on everyday frustrations

Episode Tone & Takeaway

With warm, sleepy humor and childlike glee, Kristen, Josh, and Amber blend nostalgia for playful pranks with fresh, adult absurdity. Their “business ideas” are satirical comfort food for listeners weary of taking life too seriously: bring back playful correction (pies!), outsource your self-doubt to professional cheerleaders, and never underestimate the life-changing power of a good nightgown.

Amber’s closing lullaby:
“The things that you did today, they're not your fault, they're someone else's fault...You did everything right today because you're an amazing person and you'll never be pat in the face. And so I hope you have the best night, the sweetest of dreams, and I wish a nightmare on your enemies.” (22:34–23:09)

Summary At-a-Glance

• Cozy late-night pop culture chat with comedian Amber Wallin
• Parenting exhaustion cures insomnia; coffee comparisons
• Silly “startup pitches” for bedtime fun: job-shadowing for adults, hype-women for hire, and reintroducing pies as justice for petty crimes
• Lots of laughter, warm camaraderie, and empowering takeaways
• Episode ends with positive affirmations—and a pie-ready threat to your most annoying acquaintances