A (2:49)

Oh, that's so nice.

B (2:50)

I gotta say, hiking as a birthday activity is so fun, especially because it's leaving New York in the wintertime and then going across the world and suddenly it's the summertime. Totally.

A (3:03)

Yeah.

B (3:04)

Just feeling that warm summer breeze as you're looking at beautiful things and maybe seeing some weird animals. Yeah.

A (3:11)

That is a dream. I know. I'm trying to. We might do like a hike this weekend too, which I have to, like, figure out a little bit. But I love to be kind of tromping through the woods. Of course. And I think that is a beautiful way to spend your birthday.

B (3:24)

I agree. Yeah. Enjoy what your body can do. Enjoy being a part of this world that we're lucky to be a part of. Y God, I'm sounding a little hokey here, but I. I genuinely mean that. It's nice on a birthday to be reminded of those things. Plus, if you have loved ones with you. H chef's kiss. That's a perfect birthday. Right?

A (3:41)

Even better. I think we should get into it because tonight we're going to talk about good dates, bad dates, and the dates in between. We're doing It Happened One Night. So we're going to share some of the Internet's most interesting dating stories, and then we are going to decide if we think anything in the story is a red flag, a green flag, or a beige flag. I'm going to start with story number one. Here we go. I was on a first date. I went to the bathroom about 15 minutes in. I left my phone on the table in parentheses. I don't carry a purse, and it's just easier to leave it behind than risk it falling out of my pocket onto the floor. When I got back to the table, my date looked stressed and immediately blurted out, I accidentally texted you. And I've spent the time since trying to decide if I should attempt to delete the message. But I was worried you would get really mad if I was holding your phone when you came back. Okay, so we're going to pause and decide if we think that this is a green, red, or beige flag.

B (4:52)

Okay, so the date did not actually grab the phone and try to break into the phone, but just contemplated doing it and then admitted it. Right?

A (5:06)

You are exactly right. However, the date also said that they accidentally texted this person while they were in the bathroom, which I'm like, what do you mean?

B (5:15)

What do you mean you accidentally texted them? Oh, oops, that was meant for my other date. I'm going on in half an hour.

A (5:22)

I wonder if they texted. I think that probably what happened, if I had to assume, is that they texted the date about the date. Like they meant to text, like, their friends, like, how it's going.

B (5:31)

Oh.

A (5:32)

And then they texted the date.

B (5:34)

Oh, that's usually what's happening when one is texting on a date, right?

A (5:40)

Yeah.

B (5:40)

Yeah.

A (5:41)

And that's like what happens when you text someone on accident. It's. It's like you do the thing where you're trying. You're texting about them and then you send it to them, which happens, obviously.

B (5:49)

Yes.

A (5:49)

Happens to the best of us, I guess. It's a beige flag. I don't really think it's, like, inherently bad, but I am like, I think there would be a cooler way to play that.

B (6:00)

What would be the cooler way, though?

A (6:02)

Well, it depends on what the text says. Yeah, the text is something bad. Then there's. I don't know how you play it, but if the text is not something bad, then I feel like you could just be like, I did something really embarrassing and I'm really sorry, but I don't know, something about the. Like, I was worried you would get mad if I. If you saw me holding your phone when you came back. I'm like, don't say that. That's something about. That is very, like, beta. I'm like, don't admit that. Don't, don't, don't admit fear. I guess what I'm trying to say, project confidence and self assuredness on the date. I think that's my trepidation.

B (6:42)

Okay. I'm just so fixated on what does this text message say. Okay. That I almost feel like that's going to help me know if this is a green, red, or beige flag. Because what if the text message is like, whoa, this is the best date I've ever been on?

A (6:57)

It might be.

B (6:58)

I just can't believe how lucky I am right now. And I'll tell you more about it later. Jeff. And then, oh, no, that didn't go to Jeff. That went to my date.

A (7:07)

That's so sweet. But also, like, one thing is, like, I feel like I have friends and stuff who have, like, accidentally texted, like, people they're seeing, like, about them or whatever. Or like, I think a common thing that happens also is, like, you take a screenshot of someone to show your friends and you send it to them on accident.

B (7:24)

Oh my God.

A (7:26)

I'm kind of like just playing off. Cool. Because the thing about it is, like, it is theoretically embarrassing. However, like, everyone is doing that. You know what I mean? So it's like you're sending photos of me as well, I'm sure to your friends of what I look like. Okay, but we'll see. And also, if the message was bad, I. I wonder if I would have just gotten up and left. If I texted someone while they were in the bathroom something negative about themselves on accident, I might just leave the date because it's like, what do we. What now?

B (7:53)

When they got back from the bathroom, you would just say, I'm sorry, we have to end this date right now.

A (7:58)

Immediately.

B (7:59)

Immediately. And please don't check your text messages until after we leave the restaurant. Throw your phone away and change your number right now.

A (8:07)

Change your number. Block me. Okay, I'll finish the story. Okay. I looked at my messages. The text read, she's really hot and funny, exclamation point.

B (8:15)

Okay. Okay, that's great. That's great.

A (8:18)

Sure. It might have been a tactic. I didn't know him well at that point. Today, 13 years later, we were married. And I can assure that it was an honest mistake that spiked his anxiety to 11 in the middle of our date. I now know the person he intended to reply to. Even, I mean, that would be a crazy tactic.

B (8:37)

Wow.

A (8:38)

Like that being a move is really interesting to me. I would never think that that was a move. I would only ever think it was a honest to God mistake.

B (8:46)

But I could see a player doing that.

A (8:48)

But he seemed so nervous about it.

B (8:51)

Yeah, but you know, I could see that working with certain people, like, oh, I'm gonna play this self effacing game where I come off as non threatening and a little awkward, but actually just in complete awe of you all at once.

A (9:03)

That is so scary that people are thinking like that.

B (9:06)

I think there are people out there who like to play the games. There are definitely people who are into nagging. Of course there are people who are into I'm gonna be a doofus when I'm really not a doo doofus.

A (9:16)

Yeah, I guess something about the I'm gonna be a doofus when I'm not a doofus is particularly scary to me. Like the guys who think that they are like, they have their moves and stuff, I feel like their moves are being like overly confident. So I don't like the idea of their move being like playing shy or something. I'm like that. I don't like, at all.

B (9:35)

Yeah, I can see what you mean. I mean, in this case, this worked out okay, but perfectly. Yeah. I mean, my God, they've been together. They've been together forever now.

A (9:45)

So I bet they have that text printed out and framed somewhere in their house.

B (9:49)

I hope they do. I hope they do. But I mean, yeah, it. A part of me does think he did it on purpose and it wasn't an accident.

A (9:57)

Oh, my God. I guess I'm more open hearted or something. I'm more. Or gullible. I guess I'm more willing to believe. I just feel like I know so many people who would have texted stuff to the people they're dating about them on accident.

B (10:13)

Yeah.

A (10:14)

But one of my friends, Tessa Bell, amazing comedian, has a joke about how some guy, like, sent her texts that were like, annoying and she screenshotted them to send to a friend and then she just sent them right back to him. And then her joke is that she like, in. Instead of like being like, sorry, she just like texted back and was like, you need to think about what you said.

B (10:36)

Just owning it. Just lean in further. Lean in all the way.

A (10:39)

Just stand in your power if something like that happens. We have another story. Okay. I met up with this guy at a restaurant. Conversation is going well up until we order. He then excuses himself and is gone for a seriously long time. Oh, I thought he just left and I was considering paying the bill and ditching out too. Maybe 10 minutes later, he walks back in with. With bloodshot eyes, red flag. That's a red flag. Obviously that's an easy red.

B (11:14)

I don't know what's going on there. But also, just if you're going to be gone a really long time and you have a good excuse, just say what it is. Like, you know, if it's a green flag issue, you're going to announce it in advance. Ideally, you're not going to leave someone for so long that they think you just ditched them on the date.

A (11:33)

Yeah. So yes, I agree. And this is a red flag. And now we're gonna find out what happened after.

B (11:39)

Yes, let's find out.

A (11:40)

I thought he went out and smoked, which is a deal breaker for me. So I knew the rest of the date was pointless. Then he apologizes for his absence and told me I ordered the same dish as his ex and he got emotional and went and cried in his car.

B (11:52)

Oh, my God. Still a red flag. Even more of a red flag.

A (11:55)

Even more of a red flag. Seriously. I ordered the chicken Alfredo, a pretty common meal. Needless to say that was our first and last date. I mean, it's a red flag. You shouldn't be dating if a chicken Alfredo is going to send you over the edge.

B (12:10)

No. How do you even go to the grocery store? Do you skip that whole aisle?

A (12:15)

I can't walk by the. The sauces or the pasta. It's just too fraught.

B (12:22)

No.

A (12:23)

Going in there with blindfold on, sunglasses on or something that's.

B (12:27)

And then sitting in the car and crying about it.

A (12:30)

If that is something that was happening to me, I would be like, I'm so sorry. I just started feeling sick. I think I need to go home. It's like to. Yes. Sit in the car and cry about it and then come back in once you've been emotionally processing for what seems to be like 30 or 45 minutes is wild.

B (12:46)

Yeah. I mean, so you're saying after that, come back in the restaurant, say, I'm sorry. I was feeling really unwell, and I

A (12:53)

think I would, like, text or something and be like, I'm so sorry. I just started feeling really sick, like, I have to go home.

B (12:59)

Either way, you're not getting a second date.

A (13:01)

No. And you shouldn't. You're not ready to date. No.

B (13:05)

God, I think I've been on that date before. Not. Not chicken Alfredo, exactly, But I. I've definitely been on the date where the person is not over their ex, and it's the worst date ever. Like, if I have to hear one more thing about how much you love your ex and how you're not over

A (13:19)

them, oh, my gosh.

B (13:20)

This is not a fun date for me. I can't imagine it's fun for you.

A (13:23)

No, no.

B (13:24)

Talk to your friends or a therapist about this. Not your date.

A (13:27)

Yes.

B (13:27)

Don't do this.

A (13:28)

Yeah. I don't know if I've ever had that happen to me. My problem is that I do love hearing about people's exes, though. Like, very curious. But I don't think I often. People aren't usually sharing in the way of, like, they're not over it. It's usually me, like, asking questions and being like, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to. And I really highly curious about. I love knowing about people's past relationships, but not if they're like. Not if it's uncomfortable, you know?

B (13:52)

Yes.

A (13:54)

When I'm asking, I'm looking for the kind of negatives. Of course. Well, I'm like, so why did y' all break up? Like, what's the tea?

B (14:03)

I want to hear about why I'm better than that person. And then also maybe certain issues with you that maybe drove your ex away.

A (14:12)

Yes. This is my problem, is that I love gossip. And that is where it comes out, is that I'm like, tell me everything about everyone you've ever dated. Okay, should we do the last story really quick?

B (14:26)

I suppose we have to. Yeah. Even though I could. I could talk about that last one for hours.

A (14:30)

I know. Okay, here's story number three. I had a really amazing, magical first date with a guy and called my mom the next day to tell her about it. She became excited about it too, and asked me to send his picture. I met him through old O L

B (14:46)

D. I don't know what old is. Should we look up what old is in the Hatch Encyclopedia? O L D. Oh, online dating.

A (14:55)

Oh, it's just online dating.

B (14:57)

Oh, I've never heard that term before.

A (14:59)

Okay, so we are now learning through, thank God, the Pillow fort Gods, that O L D just stands for online dating. Oh, okay.

B (15:09)

Okay. I legit thought it was an app for people over 75 or something. Okay, that's. Okay.

A (15:14)

So every day I learn a new acronym. Okay. I ended up sending her a link to his LinkedIn profile so she could have a look. A few days later, on our second date, my date returns to me with a big smile and says, do you know, insert blank, blank, blank. It's the name of their mother who shares the same last name as this person. And I'm like, what? So I obviously know what happened to me. This is a beige flag to me.

B (15:38)

It's a red flag.

A (15:39)

You think so?

B (15:41)

Yes. Yes. Okay. So this person met on the online dating. Okay, I'm just gonna say it. We all snoop a little bit. We Google who we're going out with. Of course this person admitted it then. And I mean, I just feel like, yes, you can Google who you're gonna go out with, but then you don't tell them everything you found in your Google search.

A (16:04)

No, but I think what happened is that when you view someone's LinkedIn profile, they get a notification about it. What?

B (16:11)

I am learning so much. Okay. I didn't realize everybody knows if I'm looking at their LinkedIn and. Hold on. So I know there's a way for me to see everyone who's checking out my LinkedIn too.

A (16:20)

You get a notification. So I think that what happened is this person we're gonna find out, obviously, is that the mom, or maybe she even made some type of error, but the mom viewed the profile and then he Got a notification about it. But, yes, it's important to know that when you view someone's LinkedIn profile, they get a notification that you viewed their profile. Wow. Yeah. So just know that. Which is why, to me, it's beige. You didn't need to bring it up. But it is kind of funny to be like, your mom was looking at my LinkedIn profile.

B (16:48)

Oh, okay, Okay. I was misunderstanding this whole thing.

A (16:53)

I misunderstood horribly.

B (16:56)

Okay, okay. All right. So this is just a mortifying story of, like, okay, I sent my mom a link to something I found related to my potential date. The thing I found was his LinkedIn profile. So I sent it to my mom, my mom clicked on it, and now this date knows my mom is scoping him out.

A (17:15)

Yes. I would also say it's beige because I'm like. If you felt like the first date with the guy as she did was, like, amazing, magical, or whatever, I'm like. Then probably I would assume that he's doing this in kind of a playful way and not like a I'm trying to embarrass you kind of way. So that's why I'm a bit beigey on it.

B (17:35)

The whole thing's making me cringe. I hate all of this.

A (17:37)

Let's see what happened for the rest of the date. Okay.

B (17:40)

Okay.

A (17:41)

So this person says, yes, she's my mother. How do you know her? He then tells me that my mother friended him on LinkedIn.

B (17:48)

No, no, no, Mom.

A (17:51)

Oh, she made a mistake.

B (17:52)

Mom, what is wrong with you? Oh, no. Now, now, the letter writer is actually the red flag here.

A (17:58)

This is why you need to. If you are sending your parents information about the people you're dating, it needs to be like static images and screenshots. Yes.

B (18:09)

No URLs.

A (18:10)

No, no URLs. Don't link them to anything that could be liked or friended or followed at all.

B (18:17)

Yeah, nothing that can be clicked on.

A (18:18)

No, no. It's really bad. Okay. I knew right away my mom did this by mistake, as she's terrible with technology. Obviously, I had to explain what happened. And anyway, we had a laugh about it, and he wasn't creeped out at all, which made me like him more, though I could see how someone would be turned off by this. My mom was mortified when I told her she didn't mean to friend him. I never send her links anymore, so it's exactly what we said.

B (18:41)

Oh, no. Oh, my gosh.

A (18:43)

That's a green flag in the end. It's like a cute story.

B (18:47)

It's A cute story in the end. And, yeah, I was red flagging the wrong person here.

A (18:52)

I was. But this is what I was saying about, like, everyone's snooping and everyone's, like, looking stuff up and sending it to each other. So if we can all just be chill about the fact that sometimes we're going to make technological mistakes that expose us and our. Our kind of, like, curious minds, then I think we can have a good time.

B (19:14)

I suppose so. I just want to pretend it's not happening, though. Does that make sense? It's like, yes, we're all Googling each other, but let's just not discuss that. We just like, everybody on your first date, yes, we all know you've been on other dates before, but we don't need to hear about every single former date you've been on while you're on this date. Yes, we accept that. That's a fact. That's just part of life.

A (19:33)

It's just part of life. I feel like the most, like, the closest thing to this happening that would happen to me or has even, like, happened to me with someone else that I've seen is like, if you're on a date and you pull up Instagram to, like, show them something and you go to the search and, like, sometimes it's like they're in there because you were just looking at them. Or I've been on a date where I've seen, like, the person was just looking at me, and I'm like. But I kind of am, like, flattered by it. I'm like, I look good on there. Like, take a peek.

B (20:01)

Okay, this. This is me once again showing my technological ineptitude or disinterest, because I'm like, I don't even know, like, is there. So there's a place on Instagram to go to see if people like my posts and if they're on my page.

A (20:15)

What if you're with someone? What's happened to me is, like, I'm with someone on a date and they're like, oh, let me show you something. On Instagram, they pull out their phone, they look, they go to their Instagram and are, like, searching. And then under the search on their phone, you can see, like, their past searches. And I've had it happen where I've looked and seen, like, you were looking at me. And I've definitely had the reverse happen before as well. I don't say anything, though. I just pretend I don't see it. But I do feel a little prideful. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

B (20:45)

But I loved all these stories.

A (20:46)

Me, too.

B (20:47)

Man, I wish we had 30 more of them.

A (20:48)

I know.

B (20:49)

I'm so into these.

A (20:50)

Me, too. And I'm. Eventually we will. We'll keep this segment going for sure. Because I'm highly interested to hear what's going on with people.

B (20:58)

Me, too. And like you, I'm just. I'm a gossip.

A (21:01)

I'm a gossip. At the end of the day, I'm a gossip. I love information and stories. I hope that all these people in all these stories are completely happy and in love with someone who's perfect for them. But I'm getting pretty sleepy, so I think it's time for me to turn in.

B (21:16)

Yeah, me too. I feel like that catharsis of letting other people's drama be drama and letting my life just be at peace.

A (21:25)

Just be peaceful.

B (21:26)

Yes. So I'm going to hit the hay. Good night, Sophia.

A (21:30)

Good night, Kristen. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch Co. You can also follow us at Hatch Podcasts.