Drowsy History Week: Humans vs. Emus

Summary

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The Nightly – Drowsy History Week: Humans vs. Emus

Podcast: The Nightly
Hosts: Matt (A) & Sophia (B)
Date: January 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this cozy, laugh-filled episode of The Nightly, Matt and Sophia dive humorously (and a bit haphazardly) into the bizarre historical event known as The Great Emu War of Australia (1932). The segment—part of their “Drowsy History” game—combines pop culture banter, gentle improvisation, and genuine curiosity, all designed to soothe listeners before bed. The hosts embrace the spirit of “barely remembered, mostly accurate” storytelling as they recount the legendary confrontation between humans and emus—with plenty of tangents, light mockery of their own knowledge, and a strong sympathy for the surprisingly victorious birds.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Western Australia, 1932

• The episode opens with the concept of “Drowsy History”—hosts retelling amusing and marginally accurate stories from history to lull listeners to sleep.
• [03:24] Matt introduces the Great Emu War, a favorite top-line history event—prompting Sophia’s faint recollection.
• [04:15] Matt: “It was 1932 in Western Australia.”
  • Post-World War I, many migrants tried to farm the tough lands of Western Australia.
  • A drought elsewhere drove flocks of emus into these new farmlands, compounding farmers’ challenges.

2. Emus vs. Farmers: The Crop Crisis

• [05:19] Emus, “deceptively ginormous,” started trampling and eating crops, especially wheat, undermining farmers’ livelihoods.
• The farmers, already struggling, pleaded with the government for help.
• Sophia: “I’m just like, what do you mean by ‘clear out’? Put them somewhere else, hopefully.” [05:53]

3. Emu Oil, Stubborn Birds, and Other Tangents

• Brief comic tangent on emu oil and Sophia’s mother’s fascination with tinctures.
• Matt: “You never know if it’s just a bottle called emu oil. It could be oil for greasing emus.” [07:02]

4. The Government’s... Bold Solution

• [07:36] The Australian government’s radical response: sending the army (with machine guns!).
• Matt: “You think this should be a fairly one-sided affair... but the emus had other plans.”
• Sophia expresses concern for the emus, wishing a nonviolent solution was tried first.

5. The Battle Itself: Humans Thoroughly Outfoxed

• [08:08] “They thought, ‘We'll just send the army in with machine guns.’ That was the idea.”
• Attempts to shoot emus prove astonishingly ineffective:
  • Their thick hides deflect bullets.
  • They scatter in unpredictable groups—immune to intimidation.
  • “They've got massive legs, so they just legged it.” [09:04], Matt
• Sophia: “The guns mean nothing to them... That’s not really their vibe.” [09:33]
• Debate on what could possibly scare or outsmart an emu (consensus: very little).

6. Emu Nature: Not Aggressive, Just Formidable

• Sophia consults their “encyclopedia”:
  • Emus “are not typically aggressive, but they can be dangerous if threatened—delivering powerful kicks with strong legs and sharp claws.” [11:09]
  • More docile than ostriches; sometimes friendly when raised by humans.
• Matt jokes: “You could domesticate an emu. In theory, you could. But you shouldn’t.” [11:41]

7. Major Meredith and the Military Fiasco

• [12:05] Matt introduces Major G.P.W.A. Meredith (“five names! Pick your favorite two”), the general tasked to defeat the emus.
• [13:17] Embarrassingly, the army brought a cinematographer to document their “victory.”
• Ambushes fail: emus scatter or shrug off bullets; even truck-mounted gunners are outpaced by fleeing emus.
  • Matt: “The emus were running quicker than the trucks.”
• Notable incident: a truck was damaged more than the emu it hit.

8. The Emu Victory and Aftermath

• [15:05] Eventually, the government gave up—the emus were officially the victors.
• In 1999, the emu received environmental protections, but Sophia notes there were decades of tension between humans and birds.
• Hosts delighted at “the underdog story,” rooting for the emus.
• Sophia: “It is kind of like... if it was championship rules or tournament rules, it means the emus won the Second World War.” [16:17]

9. Lingering Legacy: Lessons Not Learned

• [17:49]-[18:12] Recurring military aid requests in later years (1934, 1943, 1948)—all denied.
• Sophia: “This is emu town. We can give it up. They've made their place. They won. It's their territory.” [18:23]

10. Deeper Reflection (and Sleepy Good Nights)

• Matt and Sophia ultimately side with the emus, relishing their improbable win and musing on the folly of trying to control nature.
• Sophia: “I’m certainly not on the side of the people who are trying to shoot the emus.” [19:35]
• The show winds down—time for a night’s rest counting emus.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [03:03] Matt: “If you're looking for proper historical insight and accuracy, you're not going to get it.”
• [07:02] Matt: “It could be oil for greasing emus.”
• [08:15] Sophia: “This is what I was scared of. When you said, ‘clear them out,’ I said I hope they’re putting them somewhere else— they’re not. They’re fighting them.”
• [14:33] Matt: “There was one instance where a truck hit an emu and it did more damage to the truck than the emu, which is unbelievable.”
• [15:14] Sophia: “As they should be, in my opinion” (on the emu victory).
• [16:17] Sophia: “It is kind of like... if it was championship rules or tournament rules, it means the emus won the Second World War.”
• [18:23] Sophia: “This is emu town. We can give it up. They've made their place. They won. It's their territory.”
• [19:35] Sophia: “I’m certainly not on the side of the people who are trying to shoot the emus.”

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Timestamps for Highlights

• [03:24] – Introduction of the Great Emu War
• [05:19] – Emus arrive and start decimating crops
• [07:36] – Government enlists the military for “emu removal”
• [08:08] – The absurd military strategy: machine guns vs. birds
• [09:46] – Emus’ defenses and “perfect opponent” debate
• [11:09] – Emu behavior explained
• [13:17] – The major brings a cinematographer
• [14:33] – The truck that lost to an emu
• [15:05] – Emus decisively “win” the war
• [16:17] – Sophia’s championship rules analogy
• [17:49] – Later military requests denied
• [18:23] – Declaring “emu town”
• [19:35] – Hosts side with the emus

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Summary & Takeaways

The Nightly’s retelling of the Great Emu War is the perfect blend of sleepy humor and absurd historical trivia—a reminder that nature can humble even the best-laid (human) plans. Through playful banter, the hosts make a strong case for the emu’s crown as Australia’s most indomitable resident, and offer listeners a cozy, amusing way to wind down and drift off—dreaming, perhaps, of victorious birds on the open plain.

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Transcript

[A]

Hello. You're about to drift into an episode of the Nightly, a podcast designed to help you unwind and relax. For the full phone free immersive light experience, visit Hatch Co. Enjoy.

[B]

All right, I'm Matt and I'm so Sophia. Welcome to the Nightly from Hatch, a slumber party for pop culture lovers.

[A]

How's it going, Sofia? It feels. Feels like it's been ages, actually.

[B]

I know. I haven't seen you for years. I'm good.

[A]

How have you coped?

[B]

It's been really hard. I cry myself to sleep, whatever. But it's okay.

[A]

I can only apologize.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's okay. I'm okay. What? I'm like. I'm in like, kind of like hibernation mode, I feel like, right now a little bit, but. Yeah. How about you?

[A]

I'm all right, thank you. Yeah, just the usual, you know, driving up and down the country, telling jokes, stopping at motorway service stations. And now nice to be back sort of home and in one piece. And like you said, hibernating, I think, as well. As soon as the weather gets a little bit chilly. I don't really want to go anywhere or do anything.

[B]

I know, I know it's hard.

[A]

Just bed down for three or four months.

[B]

For a couple months, yeah, just a quick. I'm just going to be gone for a couple months. Just three months and then I'll be back.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, if we could just do this solidly for three or four months.

[B]

Yeah, that would be nice.

[A]

Just livestream 24 hours a day.

[B]

Yes, some people do that. Wait, how long were you on the road this time for?

[A]

It was only four or five days total. But it was a lot of driving because I refuse to use public transport because I don't trust it.

[B]

Have you had bad experiences that have turned you on it?

[A]

Only one or two and nothing even that bad. But I just know that the potential is there, so I'd rather just avoid it.

[B]

Of course. Of course.

[A]

I know if I'm driving and I'm in the car, I'm gonna get to where I need to be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So just. Yeah. Just never want to let anyone down. That's the worry.

[B]

Yes, of course. And if you don't make it, you're the one to blame.

[A]

Yes, exactly. And I can live with that.

[B]

Yeah, I can live with that, which is good.

[A]

So, Sofia, I thought tonight we could play a round of Drowsy History.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

Basically, what we're going to do is I will tell you a story from history, but entirely from memory. So if we get Stuck. We'll just make it up, rewrite what happened.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

So what I'm trying to say is a disclaimer for anyone listening. If you're looking for proper historical insight and accuracy, you're not going to get it.

[B]

You're not in the right place.

[A]

Just enjoy the ride. It'll be roughly what happened. And tonight I've got what might be my favorite sort of top line of a history event ever.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is the Great Emu War. Oh, do you have any awareness of the Great Emu War?

[B]

I think that I've listened to a podcast episode about it or something. I think I'm vaguely aware of the emu war randomly.

[A]

Oh, perfect. So you might be able to fill in a few gaps.

[B]

No, no, no, no. That's not what I said. Just enough to recogn.

[A]

Well, we'll see. You never know, it might jog your memory a bit.

[B]

Right. It might all come rushing back to me. Fingers crossed.

[A]

So we're starting in Western Australia in the early 1930s. I wanna say 1932.

[B]

Okay, say it.

[A]

Do you know what? I'm gonna say it?

[B]

Just say it.

[A]

It was 1932 in Western Australia.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

And basically a lot of people have migrated to Western Australia because it was like post war Australia, First World War. That is. So a load of people migrated to Western Australia, which is quite tough land to farm. And then what made it harder was that there was a drought somewhere else in Australia and it basically sent a load of emus to Western Australia. Okay, it must have been a drought in Australia. Cause they can't fly, can they? Emus?

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

So there was a drought within walking distance.

[B]

Yeah. But who knows how long an emu can walk? Probably a long time.

[A]

They're deceptively ginormous emus, aren't they? Yeah, big legs. Big, big legs. That's. I mean, that is a huge part of the story. So these emus started breaking into these farmers fields, and they're new farmers as well, recently migrated there.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They're not seasoned, experienced farmers, so they're struggling anyway. And then these emus break into the farmland and they start trampling on everything they eat everything. They ate a lot of wheat, which I assume is a big export from there and a very important crop.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So all the farmers were understandably upset by this. And they said to the government, you've got to clear these emus out. No, I know. Which is.

[B]

Well, no.

[A]

Is it tragic? We'll see.

[B]

I don't know if it's Tragic or not, I guess I'm just like, what do you mean by clear out? Put them somewhere else, hopefully.

[A]

I mean, that'd be ideal. Yeah, just move them to somewhere else.

[B]

They've just walked 100 miles. Come on.

[A]

I think they're very stubborn as well, emus, aren't they?

[B]

I think so too.

[A]

I think that's one of their big traits.

[B]

I think so too.

[A]

So you're gonna struggle to.

[B]

I'm trying to think of anything I know about emu and all I know is that they produce an oil that my mom puts on her face.

[A]

So really, how do they produce. I just wanna get. Let's get the top line emu stuff in first. Cause I don't know a great deal about emus. So they produce an oil.

[B]

I honestly don't know like how they harvest the oil. All I know is that my mom has like a bottle that says like emu oil on it.

[A]

And what's that good for?

[B]

I also don't know. It's like she's putting it on her face, I think. But is that good? I don't know, but she does a lot of stuff like that. She does a lot of like tinctures and supplements and stuff like that. That I'm like, okay, if that, if you think that helps. It helps is how I feel.

[A]

Yeah. Also, you never know if it's just a bottle called emu oil.

[B]

Yeah. It could be something completely different.

[A]

It could be oil for greasing emus.

[B]

Yes, it could. I'm like, mom, you've made a terrible mistake. It's not oil from an emu, it's oil for an emu.

[A]

You've got to stop greasing emu.

[B]

You have to stop.

[A]

Well, they could have done with her in Western Australia because they were struggling to shift these emus, you know, greased or not, they were not going anywhere. And I feel like the government, they maybe could have tried a couple of other things first, but they went straight in with, we'll get the army.

[B]

Humans fighting emus.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Humans versus emus, which you think should be a fairly one sided affair kind of, but because especially the Australians, they're. They're fresh out the first world War as well. So they're kind of match fit or they're tired. Yeah. Depending on how you look at it.

[B]

And emus have like huge legs. So they like want to kick you with kind of.

[A]

I think so. I think the main issue that they found, cause obviously they thought, well, we'll just send the army in with machine guns. That was the idea.

[B]

Sure. Okay. See, so this is what I was scared of. When you said, clear them out, I said, I hope they're putting them somewhere else. They're not. They're fighting them.

[A]

They're actually fighting them.

[B]

Yeah. They're fighting them.

[A]

Which I agree is not. The idea of. It upset me at first. Until you hear the rest of the story.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because they set up with these machine guns and thought, well, this will probably be the easiest day at the office we've ever had. They start shooting at the emus, and the emus just scatter into loads of different little groups.

[B]

Then the emus pull out their guns.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And they're all wearing bulletproof vests. Yeah.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Well, actually, I mean, they pretty much are. That's a part of the issue, is they've got really thick hides.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So if you shoot a bullet at an emu, like, nine times out of 10, it will just sort of graze off. It doesn't really do anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they got massive legs, so they just legged it. They've run off in all directions. And I also. I don't know what the end game is here, because, like, in a normal war, you could probably turn up with a big army and a load of machine guns and the threat would be enough to. But very difficult to reason with an emu.

[B]

Yeah. Well, the guns mean nothing to them.

[A]

Yeah. They've got no idea.

[B]

They're not like, fine, we'll go. Now that you're here with the guns, I guess we'll go. That's not really their vibe. They're kind of like. I don't know what that is. I have all this fur and huge legs, so. Try me.

[A]

Yeah, it's the perfect. Well, actually, I mean, the opposite. The perfect opponent, like, for them.

[B]

It's the perfect opponent if you're on the side of the emu, which is where I find myself to be.

[A]

Yeah, I. I do sort of side with the emu as well, but I don't know what an emu would be scared of. What could you roll up to a field full of emus that would potentially get them to back down?

[B]

Whatever is above them on the food chain, I suppose. But.

[A]

What is above these guys, though? From what I've read about them, they're like. They are the alphas.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe they're completely fearless.

[A]

Yeah. I actually don't know what you could do.

[B]

I don't know what could scare them. Yeah, you have to make yourself big and start yelling at them. Like with a bear.

[A]

Yeah. I wonder, what is the tactic if you do get stuck with an emu? It's a frightening thought.

[B]

But are they known to attack? I think it depends under a circumstance where they're not being threatened by an army of people with guns. You know what I'm saying? If it was just me and an emu, would I be, like, in danger? Inherently?

[A]

I'm tempted to say yes, purely because from what I'm taking from this, their size and stature. Yeah. And they strike me as quite unreasonable.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think they're very reasonable. Okay, I'm reading something in one of our beautiful encyclopedias here in the pillow fort, which is telling us that emus are not typically aggressive, but they can be dangerous. If they feel threatened or are protecting their young. Kind of a classic scenario. They will often try to run away first, but if cornered, they can deliver powerful kicks with their strong legs and sharp claws. I didn't know they had the claws.

[A]

I didn't know.

[B]

Which can cause serious injury. They are generally more docile than ostriches. Okay, so. So maybe the thing that could make them scared is if they brought in an army of ostriches and can even be friendly and curious, especially when raised around people from a young age.

[A]

Okay, so you could domesticate an emu. In theory, you could, but you shouldn't.

[B]

It's not right. No, it goes against God.

[A]

I could take an emu for a walk.

[B]

I reckon you have an emu in your house, then. It's just the emu's house. Because the emu is far larger than you.

[A]

Yeah. That becomes. That's the sole landowner.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So they're not inherently aggressive against humans, at least.

[A]

Yeah, apparently not so good to know. I'll tell you who it is. Major Gwynedd Purvis. Wyn Aubrey Meredith.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Who? An aggressive man. A major, of course. And a ridiculously long, confusing name which could be Welsh. Australian.

[B]

It sounded like you said his name and then you said it again in Latin.

[A]

Yeah. Against the rules of the show. I did have his name written down. Cause I thought, I'll never remember that.

[B]

Of course not. There's no way to.

[A]

And I did. I stupidly backed out after two names like an idiot when there's five.

[B]

All right, well, you can't. He has five names. Pick your favorite two, and those are the ones we'll use.

[A]

I'm gonna go with Gwynedd Meredith.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

Gwynedd Meridith. Gwyneth Meredith.

[B]

That does sound like Latin, does it not? You're like Pluribus I was like, what.

[A]

Are you saying it does? Yeah. We should see if we can get that translated somewhere. So anyway, Gwynedd, he was the one who kind of led the Australians in. So confident was Gwynedd that he actually took a cinematographer with him. Cause he thought, this will be a very convincing win.

[B]

It's not good.

[A]

It didn't happen. They tried shooting. The birds scattered. They've run all over the place.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then this made me laugh. They walked away from that going, that didn't work. So where do we go from here?

[B]

More guns.

[A]

They tried to go smarter than that.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

To give them their dues.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They went with the very army tactic of laying an ambush.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which again, is quite difficult because emus, you don't necessarily know where they're gonna be, where they're gonna be and when. Notoriously difficult to pin down emus. So they did manage to trap about 50 of them near a watering hole.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then this is where they shot at them and realized the bullets just bounced off their hides.

[B]

That is so crazy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like all of them, it just bounced off the hide.

[A]

Well, I imagine realistically they probably caught one or two.

[B]

Okay. But still, one or two out of 50.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

And obviously the noise then sent the rest of them scattering again.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So they were chasing them with. Like they were in trucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just driving across machine guns on top of trucks, trying to shoot at emus. But obviously the uneven ground meant the bullets were going all over the place.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The emus were running quicker than the trucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There was one instance where a truck hit an emu and it did more damage to the truck than the emu, which is unbelievable.

[B]

This is what happens when you try to play God against nature.

[A]

They should have just let the emus get on with it. Yes. So a truck ended up in a ditch. They spent a load of ammunition on it, and in the end they had to back down and the emus won. They had to just say, well, they're gonna have to just stay there because there is nothing else we can do.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which I think is incredible. So the emus were. And they still are today, they were considered the victors of the great emu war.

[B]

As they should be, in my opinion.

[A]

They absolutely should be. And there's sort of a. I mean, it's a bit late down the line. Bearing in mind this happened in 1932, but they were gifted with environment protection and conservation in 1999.

[B]

Okay. Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. There was a 60 year period in the middle Where I think they were still.

[B]

There was still some tension and animosity, but they finally got it okay.

[A]

Yeah, they got round the table with the emus.

[B]

Thank God for the emus. What an embarrassing thing to happen though.

[A]

It is embarrassing that is. It especially, like I say, when you come out of the First World War where you've beaten, you know, the German Austro hungry army, which is all about world dominance, and then you've got beaten by a group of emus.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

God, that would really hurt the ego.

[B]

It would, but I think it's important for those people to have their egos hurt a little bit.

[A]

Yeah. And it's just a lovely win. I like an underdog story.

[B]

It is kind of like if it was like a championship rules or like tournament rules, it means that like the emus won the first World War or the Second World War. Sorry, which one did you say it was?

[A]

I don't think that's right. The Australians had to go into the Second World War off the back of getting beat by emus.

[B]

Right, okay.

[A]

It's not great. It's not great for the morale.

[B]

It's not amazing. They're like, let's get them in.

[A]

But yeah, you're right. If it's like winner stays on. It should have been EMUs versus Hitler in the next round.

[B]

Exactly. That's exactly what I think.

[A]

Should have made for some great documentaries on the History channel.

[B]

Yeah. Talking head with an emu. It's just kicking the camera.

[A]

So there we go. That was the great emu War of 1932.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Any questions?

[B]

I don't actually know if I have any questions.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

I have one thing that I want you to jog my memory on. Why did they want the emus out of there? So that they could farm.

[A]

Yeah. So they were basically destroying crops.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I think it was sort of twofold. They were destroying the crops but also making holes in the fences so that other animals would get in.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And then it was a combination. Yeah.

[B]

They were starting an animal revolution.

[A]

Yeah. Why has nobody done a film about this?

[B]

I feel like. Do you think they haven't? I feel like they have, but maybe I'm wrong.

[A]

They must have done. It'd be very missed opportunity if they haven't.

[B]

It certainly would be.

[A]

Oh, sorry. I've just got a. Just had a note from the producer. This is a very interesting addendum to it. Despite the problems encountered with the cull, the farmers of the region once again requested military assistance.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

In 1934, 1943, and 1948. But every single time, it was turned down by the government, thank God.

[B]

But what was going on there? Something bad was happening at that point.

[A]

That's probably where you are. You still on the side of the emus at that point? Because they sound like a nightmare.

[B]

I kind of am. I'm like, sorry. I'm kind of like, at this point, y' all need to move away. This is the. This is emu town. We can give it up. They've made their place. They won. You. You could have. You know what I mean? I thought they won. It's their territory.

[A]

That's a good point.

[B]

It's just time to go.

[A]

Yeah. If they won, then you can't really argue with that, can you?

[B]

No.

[A]

And you don't want to fight them again.

[B]

And I'm like, what do they think the military is going to do? They tried. They tried their hardest to fight them. Their. Their weapons did not work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't. I don't know what they think is going to happen.

[A]

Oh, and also, the emus would have presumably learned lessons, regrouped.

[B]

Yeah. The emus became faster, stronger, smarter.

[A]

Yeah. And they're eating a load of wheat as well, so they'll be jacked. Big Jack.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wouldn't go back there.

[B]

They look good.

[A]

They're looking great.

[B]

Yeah. They're in peak physical condition, so, yeah, I'm on the side of the emu.

[A]

Do you know what? I think ultimately I am as well. I don't know how. You can't be. They've won a war. Let them get on with it.

[B]

Yeah. I'm certainly not on the side of the people who are trying to shoot the emos.

[A]

I agree. Well, I'm getting pretty sleepy, Sofia. After all that, I think it's about time to turn in. I reckon.

[B]

I think so, too. I'm gonna count emus as I fall asleep, so I'll talk to you next time. Good night, Matt.

[A]

Good night, Saf. Sa. Sam. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch co. You can also follow us Hatch podcasts.