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A
Hello. You're about to drift into an episode of the Nightly, a podcast designed to help you unwind and relax. For the full phone free immersive light experience, visit Hatch Co. Enjoy. All right, I'm Mat.
B
And I'm kp. Welcome to the Nightly from Hatch, a slumber party for pop culture lovers.
A
How's it going, kp?
B
It's going well. I had lovely little travel and now even lovelier back home.
A
Nice. Did you have anything fun on your travels? I remember that time we talked about you eating for a petrol station. Any of that going on?
B
This one? I'm going back. I was going back to my hometown. So I'm kind of already familiar with all the egg pizza adjacent things that town has to offer. But I did do a lot of Dunkin Donuts, which is really good. On the east coast, do you guys have anything like that where it's like this chain restaurant you should really only go to in this part of town?
A
Not really. I don't think there's anything. Actually. There's stuff that only happens in certain towns, like certain bits of. Yeah. Food and drink. But it doesn't really change that much.
B
The east coast is good at certain things. I mean, I was also very good at just being absolutely cold. So I'm just happy to be back, warm in my own home. Ugh. What could be better? Clean sheets.
A
Nice. That is a big treat.
B
Yeah, yeah. What'd you get into? Anything? Anything exciting?
A
I did do a show last night at this weird. It wasn't like a members club. I don't really know what the deal was. I got lured into it because the guy booking it said that it's Noel Gallagher's favourite restaurant.
B
Okay.
A
So I was like, okay, it's in like a real posh part of London. And it was on a corner and there was a bar front. And I looked at it and the bar name didn't match what was on the email. So I walked around the corner a little bit and there was just this guy in like all black. Massive guy, black hat, black gloves, everything. And he just went, what are you looking for? And I said, oh, the name of the restaurant. He went, yeah, yeah, it's here. And I was like, right, okay. So then I started to walk back around to the front door. Cause I thought he meant there. And he went, nah, nah, nah, down here.
B
Okay.
A
And it was just like down an alleyway. There was nothing there. And I was like, oh, great, so I'm just gonna get all my stuff robbed. I just sort of resigned myself to it, it was really. It wasn't any sort of spectacle. I was just like, oh, that's annoying.
B
And this doesn't bode well for the audience members to just get. You're gonna scare them all before the show starts.
A
Yeah. What a scary way to let people into your restaurant.
B
It'd be kinda nice if a robber in a ski mask stole your joke book. And then later you see him still in the ski mask, just sort of getting famous off of all of your jokes.
A
There is no chance that would happen. I'd be so annoyed.
B
It's all the delivery. Gosh, this guy's just really good. He's just. There's something about him.
A
It was the ski mask along that.
B
Would have really boosted all your jokes. I think if you just put a big ski mask over your face.
A
Well, I'm gonna have to try it now. Now we've bought it up.
B
Yeah.
A
It's like when you say you're gonna play the lottery with a certain set of numbers, like you've gotta do it then, haven't you?
B
You owe it to yourself.
A
Yeah, well on that front actually I thought tonight it would be fun to share some half baked ideas that we've come up with lately. And this is something that others have done on the nightly before. And it's like that show, it's called Dragon's Den here but you know, like Shark Tank. Is that what it is?
B
Mm, yep. We like sharks. You guys like dragons?
A
Yeah. I wonder why that is. It doesn't feel like that needs a name change really, does it? I don't know which one was first?
B
Well, I don't know actually which one was first. That would be interesting to look up. Cause ours has been for man, 20 years.
A
I think ours has as well. And I've got to say with the alliteration, I do think Dragon's Den is. I personally think that's the better title.
B
But I like Shark Tank. So good. They picked right for their audiences.
A
Yeah. It turns out they nailed it.
B
And do they say they're dragons? Like you've entered the Dragon Den.
A
Yeah, yeah. So they introduced the dragons. Yeah. And just got a note from the producer there. Dragons den aired first 2005 versus Shark Tank in 2009.
B
You guys kind of do have all the good ones first. Traitors was first over there. You guys paved the way. Thank you.
A
Do you know what? I thought that. But it's actually I read an article the other week that Traitors is. That was like a Russian parlor game. Something about wolves or something.
B
Werewolf so it is Werewolf. Yes. Which I've played when I was a kid, but you guys gave it the cool green cloaks and that helped a lot.
A
That's the difference, isn't it? So often you have, like, a little game and I've thought, God, that'd be a great TV show. I do not have the skill set to actually make it into a good TV show. There's all that, the cloaks and the turret and everything that sort of makes it.
B
Yeah. And then Alan Carr, this latest season, that's just going to make it right.
A
Alan Carr was brilliant. Yeah. He's very, very funny.
B
I didn't watch the full thing, but it seemed as if he knew his way around.
A
I think he accidentally nailed it. Yeah. He was outwardly so bad at it. I think if you were watching it, you're going, there's no way.
B
He cannot be a traitor. He has no idea what's going on.
A
Yeah. That can't even be a double bluff. He literally does not know what's going on there.
B
Yeah. He's going for triple quadruple bluffs, where he's bluffing himself. Also, he's confusing himself. He has no idea.
A
It's a perfect game plan. Really, really worked for him. So Shark Tank, Dragon's Den, that's what we're gonna go for. Anything you've thought of, like, business ideas, inventions that you think are desperately needed in the world today. And by that I mean stuff that's probably not in any way needed in the world today.
B
Yeah.
A
Would you like to go first?
B
I would. Cause mine. I'm still sort of figuring it all out. But I do think there's a general hole in what we do with painting balls. I just think there's got to be ways that we can make this easier and better. And I want to point out, because I was painting, Helping my friend paint her new home the other day, and it's a pain in the butt. And there's been a ton of advancements, and I want to shout those out first, because what I think is cool with painting advancements is now you can go into the paint store and you can upload a picture of a color and they will mix that color for you. I want to say that's very cool invention.
A
That is pretty cool. Yeah.
B
And I'm going to try and come up with something that's bad because they've already kind of given the good one. But here are some things that I think are missing is it takes too long. Even with the rollers, even with everything you're doing. It takes too long. What I would like is a sort of gutter that you can install at the bottom of floors so that you can really just pour the paint on top of the wall, and then it just slurps on down into the gutter. The stuff you might maybe don't need. Does that make sense?
A
I can envision it in my head. I've got a couple of reservations off the bat.
B
Me too. But I own this business, so I'm.
A
Gonna try and this is not how you win in Shark Tank, but I don't.
B
I do not like this idea. Guys, take this off my hands. Please, someone buy this so I do not have to think about this one anymore.
A
So you're just. So you got the gutter at the bottom. You're just gonna pour the paint down the wall. So presumably, you get on a ladder with the paint pot, and you're literally just gonna pour it. Is that the gist?
B
Yeah, that's basically the gist. The gist is I want to get up on the top, take the entire gallon of paint, and just sort of go right to left, pour the entire gallon on that wall, and then all the excess just goes into that gutter. And I can use that for the next wall.
A
Right. You'll probably need to use the gutter for the same wall. Because my main concern straight away would be coverage. I think you're gonna get very good coverage in the sort of where you're pouring.
B
Yeah.
A
I don't think it's gonna spread exactly how you want it to.
B
Hey, and again, I don't either.
A
How about. Do you know what would be better?
B
Okay. Yeah, please.
A
Yeah.
B
You be the fixer.
A
If you put the gutter at the top of the wall.
B
Okay.
A
And then you've got, like, a little crack at the bottom of it all the way along. So then you sort of seep down kind of more uniformly.
B
Yes.
A
I think your main issue is it's gonna be quite splattered. Localized. Yeah. It's just gonna sort of blob.
B
Okay, I like that. So a gutter at the top and a gutter at the bottom to catch.
A
And then ideally, probably you wanna brush it as well or roll it.
B
So you're gonna have to sort of do the same thing.
A
Basically, it's gonna take a lot cost effective than.
B
Because the other issue I was noting is that. So now you have all this paint in the gutter, now how are you sort of getting it back into a bin?
A
That is a very, very good question.
B
I'm like, you could tilt one side of the gutter up and then put the bin at the bottom side. But then you need like a hole in maybe a button, a little clog.
A
Yeah, I like that. It's just fixed by a button. Not going to expand on what exactly what the button does. But if you push the button, a.
B
Lever and a button. There's a button. Just trust that that will do what it needs to do.
A
Yeah.
B
A zipper, even. Whatever you need, it's there.
A
Yeah. Okay. I can get on board with that. Yeah. A little popper, maybe.
B
Here was my other idea. Vis a vis paint is like, I think you often buy too much paint for what you need. And then in your garage or shed, you just have kind a third of paint from all of these leftover projects because you want to get more than you need. So you just have a lot of extra paint. I think maybe each paint should come with a kind of like little acrylic tube of darkening paint and then lightning paint. So you can really sort of make that color into another project of what you need. Like you're adding more of more pigment for different things and you can revitalize that paint. And I think this might already exist. This is sort of just like I'm adding more paint.
A
So.
B
So.
A
So if you need more paint, you get more paint. Is the.
B
Yeah, that's the big idea. How much would you want to invest? Is it too early to ask?
A
Well, I mean, what's the price of some paint? I suppose that would be the. That'd probably be the top end of.
B
What I'd invest as any good thing. Now it comes in a subscription kit. So you're getting just like way too much paint each month. You're just getting every month a total chore of paint that you have to deal with each month. So this will. That's the big idea.
A
Okay. Yeah. I don't hate it. I would like to just say at this point as well that you talk about leftover paint, Right. If you do your pouring down the wall technique, I can guarantee you you will not have any leftover paint. I don't think you will ever have enough paint.
B
The wall gains like 3 inches thickness with this method. It's just an insane thick layer of paint on your wall. So your room actually becomes smaller in the gutter method.
A
In some places. Yeah, in some places.
B
And in others, completely open. Completely white wall still.
A
Okay. Well, yeah, I mean, I'm more on point.
B
And that's when the extra leftover paint comes in handy.
A
Do you know you can't Get. You can't get rid of paint. It's really hard to get rid of paint.
B
Yeah. I mean, that's why it just sits in our garages for 10 years. What you have to, like, find a recycle, like, station. What is it?
A
Yeah, center. Yeah, recycling center. You got to fill it with sand as well first. That's what I found. Yeah. It's very messy.
B
They're strict over here with the oil, too. You can't put that down your sink. Of course. That creates a big issue.
A
Yeah. That's good advice to anyone listening. Don't put oil down your sink.
B
But then they sell this, like, speaking of kind of a bad business idea. They sell these packets that you can buy, like oil thickener packets. And so you open them up and you add this little granular stuff into the oil. You might have. It makes it into like a big hunk of, you know, gooey, solid. And then you can just throw that in the trash. But to me, I don't know. I guess I'm like, you're buying an extra. I think what it is, to be honest, I think what the salt thing that you pour on it actually is, is gelatin. So I think you're just making oil jello.
A
Okay.
B
And I go, well, I'm just gonna make. I'll buy little gelatin packets. I'm sure they're cheaper than oil thickener.
A
Yeah. And you can sort of choose your own flavor then as well. If you've got a party coming up or.
B
Exactly. Get everyone kind of greased up. That's nice. Okay, well, jello shots. And it's just a bunch of olive oil. That could be good.
A
I actually think that might be your business. I think that's the business.
B
The second I said it, I said, what were you doing with the paint? That is not the business you were supposed to be in.
A
You've been sitting on this million dollar idea this whole time.
B
Oil, gelatin, jello shots. That's good.
A
I'm in on that.
B
Okay. Million dollars. We'll call. Let's move over to your big idea. I'm entering the Dragon's Den. I'm leaving the Shark Tank. Matt, what have you come up with?
A
Well, I know that this is technically supposed to be not great ideas. And I've got to apologize. Cause I've ruined the format of the show. Because I've got an excellent idea.
B
This is so you overachieving.
A
Exactly. So I'll start with classic pitch technique. I'll just throw some questions at you here. Kp, have you Ever seen anyone look cool with a backpack?
B
I have not. No.
A
No. No. I don't think it's possible.
B
No.
A
No one ever looks in a backpack. You just can't do it. Second question I'll throw at you. How do you feel about the weight distribution when you wear a backpack? Pretty centralized, isn't is?
B
Pretty centralized? Yeah. Kind of gravity goes down in center.
A
Yeah. Not great for your back or neck and shoulders. That weight would be better if it was spread more evenly.
B
I can't argue with that. Yeah.
A
Introducing. I've got two working titles for this. I'm not sure which one to go for.
B
Okay.
A
We've either got Backjack.
B
Oh, I love that one. Okay.
A
Or Back Mac.
B
I like that, too. I think Jack resonates with me.
A
Okay, cool. So we'll go with Backjack for now. It's a coat, just like a nice overcoat, but it's also a backpack. So it's got all the sections and stuff that you would need. Because also, you've got to remember technology's getting smaller. Laptops are getting thinner.
B
Yes.
A
You know, tech's all. It's all slimmed down. And yet backpacks, they've stayed the same size.
B
Yeah.
A
What's the point?
B
It's so true. You really don't need as much space as you used to.
A
You really don't. You do. And security, more than ever, you know, you've got to look after. Like, if you walk down an alleyway to try and get in an exclusive restaurant and you think you're going to get mugged. I wouldn't have been worried if I had the backjack on.
B
Yes. If Noel Gallagher mugs you at his favorite restaurant, that you're wearing your jacket.
A
Still, he wouldn't get his hands on my joke.
B
He's desperate for that. There's no way he's desperate.
A
He needs the notebook.
B
Yes.
A
Unfortunately for him, it zipped into my back.
B
Now, I like this a lot. What does the coat look like in your mind? I'm sure there could be different designs, but what are you. What's in your vision?
A
You're right. Thank you very much, first of all, for noting that there will be different designs. Yeah. Different colors. They're all gonna be water resistant. I decided that's probably pretty important. Yeah. Mind you, you could have a section for an umbrella as well, so it wouldn't really matter. So.
B
Yeah.
A
We could do a summer one that's not waterproof. I think we're looking at like a, you know, like a flasher. Mac.
B
I was exactly thinking this. Yep.
A
Yeah. So there'll be. You could get a hooded one or just a nice collar and I think if you distribute the pockets, I don't think you'd really see the outline of the contents anywhere. It'd be slightly oversized but that's fine because that's sort of the fashion at the moment. Oversized is good.
B
Exactly.
A
I think you could. The sleeves, water bottle, maybe in the sleeve.
B
You're sort of turning into like an Inspector Gadget. Like there's just a lot of different things popping out, which is nice.
A
Yeah. And if it's one thing we learned from Inspector Gadget is that it did work for him.
B
It always worked for him.
A
And nobody really followed up on that.
B
No, they just let him do his thing. I was picturing that exact thing. Yeah. A little peacoat type, light rain jacket.
A
Pea coat. Yeah, that would be nice. Quite long, sort of a trench coat. So he probably stops just above the knee.
B
That's what I was thinking. Would you ever call it just name wise? Would you ever call it back mat just for you?
A
That's a very good point. Note the creator so sort of involved me in the branding.
B
Yeah. Your face is on each jacket, big back mat.
A
The problem with that is it does sound a little bit like a mat.
B
Bath mat that you would lie on.
A
Or a bath mat.
B
Yeah. Well, maybe that's a different set of things you make bathmats with. Where you could put your laptop.
A
Storage, integrated storage standing on top of.
B
Your laptop after the shower.
A
Again, I think we've stumbled across the actual idea here, haven't we? That's what it is.
B
Because, well, for security wise, if I'm breaking into your home, the last place I'm going to check for a computer is your bath mat. That is the most secure place in your entire home to hide something.
A
I'd say that's a really good point.
B
I'm not looking there. That's not even in my top 2000 places I'm going to look.
A
Yeah. I think you're. I mean you couldn't hang the bath mat up which. And the laptop would get wet. But we could work around.
B
For me that's a big issue is that you're crushing and destroying your laptop each time.
A
Yeah. But that's what insurance is for, which is provided by BACMAT insurance, which again is another revenue stream. Monthly payments.
B
In the same way that I feel like you were the fixer, I think I could be the ruiner of ideas. I sort of took your nice idea that works and is good and I created A really bad idea out of it.
A
Do you know what, kp? There is no such thing as a bad idea.
B
Good. Then I'm. Then I'm going to make the paint gutters.
A
Do you know what, kp? I take it all back. There is such thing as bad ideas.
B
Yeah. Yeah. And that's beautiful. Well, I really like this jacket idea. It's kind of like. Well, I love a big hoodie with, like, big pockets in the front, like kangaroo pouch. This is sort of like taking the convenience of that because you can't really put too much in there because then you look like you've got a lumpy stomach. You put that in the back, it.
A
Drags you down, doesn't it?
B
It does drag you down. And then your hands don't really have a place to go. So we keep that nice and sleek. We put all that in the zippered backpack. Backjack, and then you're good to go.
A
Yeah. Backjack is the way, isn't it? Yeah, because that's the advert, isn't it? Put it in the backjack.
B
Oh, that's.
A
Yeah, yeah. Oh, look, I've got a whole ham. How are you gonna take it home? Put it in the backjack.
B
Yeah. I could see this being nice for festivals, too, because you're not really usually allowed to carry, like, purses and stuff into festivals, but you can great to festivals.
A
Put your jacket on and it does stretch to other items of clothing, like you said. Definitely a hoodie, swimwear, which I think we could combine the bath mat and the backjack definitely to some sort of, like, swim short bikini combo.
B
Yeah, bikini, where you can put your laptop in the back would really help when I'm traveling, but need to work.
A
And swim and swim.
B
And swim.
A
Well, I think we've nailed it.
B
I really like that. I'll invest a million in that. It's been burning a hole in my pocket anyway, this million. So I'm happy to give it away.
A
We're even. If I'm putting a million into the paint gutter, then great. Well, we're sort of back to square one, really, aren't we?
B
Yeah, I guess we can keep our own million. I would have really liked yours just for some fresh money.
A
Yeah, for what it's worth, I do think the paint gutter would have been a huge strain on my personal life. Look, we'll talk, we'll talk, we'll talk. All right. Get your people to talk to my people, definitely. And we'll come to sort of arrange some sort of arrangement. But for now, I'm getting pretty sleepy, so I think I'm going to turn in kp.
B
I think that sounds good to me. I'm investing a million dollars into my sleep right now. I'll talk to you next time. Good night, Matt.
A
Good night. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch Co. You can also follow us at Hatch Podcasts.
Date: January 13, 2026
Host: Mat (A) & KP (B), Hatch Podcasts
This cozy late-night episode finds Mat and KP riffing on quirky inventions and the universally awkward look of backpacks. Set in the relaxed, slumber-party atmosphere typical of "The Nightly," the conversation takes listeners through pop culture references, humorous pitches for new products, and playful banter—all designed to help you unwind, smile, and ease into sleep.
The episode is playful, dry, and gently self-mocking. The hosts lean into brainstorming silly but oddly practical solutions, trading affectionate roasts and imaginative rabbit holes. The conversation is punctuated with UK and US pop culture nods, and it feels like a friendly brainstorm gone astray—perfectly in step with the Nightly’s mellow, cozy vibe.
You’ll emerge with a smile, a longing for a Backjack, and possibly a lingering suspicion that there really are bad invention ideas—but they’re fun to dream up with friends before bed.