Goodnight, Mouth Guard + LeVar Burton Dreams w/ Moshe Kasher

Summary

The Nightly – "Goodnight, Mouth Guard + LeVar Burton Dreams w/ Moshe Kasher"

Podcast: The Nightly by Hatch Podcasts
Air Date: December 15, 2025
Host(s): KP & Kristen
Guest: Moshe Kasher

---

Episode Overview

This cozy, light-hearted episode of The Nightly features comedian, author, and podcaster Moshe Kasher. As is tradition in the "Hatch Pillow Fort," the hosts and Moshe delve into comforting routines, pop culture obsessions, and sleep-related grievances — offering a warm, humorous, and occasionally wistful meditation on what helps us wind down at night. The episode’s big themes include nostalgic TV as a bedtime balm, the trials (and unexpected perks) of sleeping with a mouth guard, the hazards of bench seating at holiday parties, and the politics of kitchen appliances.

---

Key Topics & Discussion Points

Moshe’s Bedtime Routine: Star Trek Therapy

Timestamps: 01:10 – 04:51

• Moshe reveals that 90s-era Star Trek (especially The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine) is his nightly go-to for comfort.
  • "What has brought me more comfort over the years than anything else is the television franchise Star Trek, the Next Generation, Star Trek Deep Space Nine. And I'm currently really struggling through Star Voyager." — Moshe [01:19]
• A playful debate ensues about whether to watch the original, 90s, or modern series, with Moshe firmly in the "no Kirk, only Picard" camp.
  • "You come at me with some original series, I'm gonna say, 'okay, Boomer.' You come at me with some of that new stuff, I'm gonna say, 'sorry, Gen Alpha.'... I want sweet spot gangsta rap is on the radio, but Utopia is on the screen." — Moshe [02:09]
• The group shares deep appreciation for LeVar Burton, with Moshe jokingly hoping to make him his uncle and imagining a bedtime “goodnight” routine.
  • "LeVar’s whole career has been one of pure synthetic down blanket of a man. Everything he does is comforting. I want him to be my uncle." — Moshe [02:50]

---

The Power (and Peril) of Night Guards

Timestamps: 05:14 – 09:14

• Moshe discusses his new dental night guard and how it’s changed his relationship to sleep — introducing a clinical edge to his most beloved ritual.
  • “I love sleep ... But now, all of a sudden, this thing, which I cherish, has become clinical ... you slide a thick slab of silicone into your teeth ... you can’t kiss anybody good night, and you’re just this, like, medic.” — Moshe [05:27]
• Kristen and KP share solidarity and coping strategies: reframing the mouth guard as a cute “lip plumper,” and making it part of the bedtime routine.
  • "I like to put my mouth guard in and look at how cute I look with my mouth guard in ... it looks like I got some lip plumper in.” — Kristen [08:00]
• The conversation turns playful around bedtime intimacy and embracing mouth guard-induced changes.
  • “Nothing turns someone on more than a person with a mouth guard leaning in for a smooch.” — Moshe [08:21]

---

Pillow Talk: Moshe’s Unique Sleep Set-Up

Timestamps: 09:29 – 11:56

• Moshe shares his unorthodox pillow arrangement: no pillow under his head, only under each shoulder — “head raw dogging on the mattress.”
  • “I sleep two pillows. One under one shoulder, one under the other shoulder, head raw dogging on the mattress.” — Moshe [09:32]
• Host Kristen, a fellow stomach sleeper, expresses interest in trying this method.
• Moshe’s quest for the perfect “35-year-old pillow” prompts listeners to send recommendations ([e-mail]).

---

Grievance Time: Bench Seats and Social Seating

Timestamps: 12:11 – 17:52

• Kristen vents about bench seats at holiday gatherings: they force awkward shuffling, are uncomfortable, and are especially tough when wearing a mini-skirt.
  • “I've been to a lot of holiday parties lately... and I just gotta say, too many of these holiday parties have one of my biggest pet peeves: bench seats.” — Kristen [12:11]
• The group muses on whether people with bench seats are signaling to guests not to linger, or if it’s just farmhouse-chic gone wrong.
  • “Do people who have bench seats just not want their guests to stay very long?” — Kristen [16:03]
• KP offers a radical (if slightly “evil”) alternative: eliminate seating to force mingling.
  • “I take out all the seats because I think that people stand at parties and that creates a more mingling environment.” — KP [17:14]
• Shout-outs to awkward party logistics, “hot tub clauses” on Airbnb, and standing room only parties in LA.

---

Kitchen Minimalism and the Appliance Dilemma

Timestamps: 19:01 – 22:15

• KP’s grievance: her small kitchen is overrun by single-use appliances — especially questioning her lack of a microwave and the need for an air fryer.
  • “I've sort of made a stand here, which is: I'm not gonna have a microwave... If I have to reheat my coffee, I'm putting it in a cooking pot.” — KP [19:01]
• Moshe jokes about the “energy” of people without microwaves, likening it to matcha-drinkers who refuse Tylenol.
  • “There's also a kind of messaging that not having a microwave sounds... you know people who have quick coffee, but they're doing matcha. It's that energy." — Moshe [21:04]
• The air fryer comes under fire: “Big air fryer is one of the most effective propaganda campaigns of the modern… era.” — Moshe [21:56]
• They briefly reminisce about the George Foreman Grill era.

---

Moshe’s Plugs

Timestamps: 22:40 – 23:30

• Moshe plugs his Endless Honeymoon Podcast, his upcoming comedic “world tour” (Cincinnati-to-Tokyo in two stops!), and his books (Kasher in the Rye, Subculture Vulture).
  • “You can listen to my podcast... And I'm gonna be in... Cincinnati... then it ends in Tokyo. And that's the whole world tour, all the important places." — Moshe [22:40]

---

Dreamy Goodnights: Channeling LeVar Burton

Timestamps: 23:33 – 24:34

• Moshe wraps with a whimsical, heartfelt goodnight for LeVar Burton, imaging him tucking away his Star Trek visor and donning a night guard.
  • “Hey, Unk. I just want to tell you what you've meant to me.... Take that visor off that you probably wear... and put it in your mouth as a night guard. Because I have found empowerment in night guard. And no one is more beautiful than me with a slab of silicone between my teeth. Except you, LeVar. Uncle LeVar. Lieutenant Jordi Laforge. I love you and everybody else find the LeVar within your beautiful. Good night.” — Moshe [23:46]

---

Notable Quotes

• On Star Trek as a Sleep Aid:
  "I support a utopic, post capitalist meta society comprised of over 4 trillion alien beings. And that's what puts me to sleep." — Moshe [01:45]

• On Mouth Guards:
  "Now, you slide a thick slab of silicone into your teeth... you can't kiss anybody good night, and you're just this, like, medic." — Moshe [05:27]

• On Living With Bench Seats:
  "Is this one of those Chip and Joanna Gaines country living sorts of decorating aesthetic things that started a few years ago? Because it seems like they're everywhere right now." — Kristen [13:26]

• On the Air Fryer Craze:
  "Big air fryer is one of the most effective propaganda campaigns of the modern... era." — Moshe [21:56]

• On LeVar Burton:
  "LeVar, babe, babe. LeVar, we got a really cool offer. You're gonna be playing for the rest of your life the uncle of comedian Moshe Kasher." — Moshe [03:20]

---

Memorable Moments

• Moshe’s earnest but comedic fantasy of LeVar Burton tucking him in at night [03:12, 23:46]
• The crew’s rebranding of mouth guards as accidental “lip plumpers” [08:00]
• Moshe’s oddball “armpit pillow” sleep technique [09:32]
• The group’s lively, nearly philosophical reflection on the politics of seating at parties [16:01]
• KP’s appliance existentialism and the fall of the microwave [21:04]
• The comic riff on “bench clauses” and “hot tub clauses” in Airbnb listings [15:15]
• Moshe’s mock-epic “world tour” of only two stops [22:56]

---

Listener Takeaways

• Nostalgia, comfort TV, and quirky rituals are at the heart of warm bedtime routines.
• Mouth guards may be clinical but, with the right attitude, can be a source of pride (and accidental glamour).
• Party seating can become a broader metaphor for comfort, exclusion, and the design quirks that define contemporary social life.
• Appliance minimalism has its perils (don’t sacrifice the microwave for matcha energy!).
• Channel your “LeVar within”—the part of you that wants to tuck in the people you love, every night.

---

How to Connect

• Email recommendations for “35-year-old pillows” or pillow talk to: [e-mail]
• Learn more at the Hatch Co website and @hatchpodcasts

---

(Ad and outro content omitted as requested)

Transcript

[A]

Hello. You're about to drift into an episode of the Nightly, a podcast designed to help you unwind and relax. For the full phone free immersive light experience, visit Hatch Co. Enjoy.

[B]

Wow. Oh wow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It is a gorgeous evening and I am kp.

[C]

Hey everyone out there, I'm Kristen. Welcome to the Nightly from Hatch, a slumber party for pop culture lovers. We are feeling so happy this evening, so excited because we're joined by a very special guest, the hilarious Moshe Kasher. Oh my gosh, Moshe, thank you so much for being here with us tonight in the pillow fort.

[A]

What's up everybody? Wait, sorry, wrong vibe, wrong vibe, wrong vibe. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Good evening everyone.

[B]

Some hype sleep. This is just like get your cortisol way up and then tank it down. That's what we're gonna do today.

[C]

And Moshe, knowing it's almost time for bedtime, we're very curious about your bedtime routine. Is there anything you'd like to share?

[A]

Well, listen, what has brought me more comfort over the years than anything else is the television franchise Star Trek, the Next Generation, Star Trek Deep Space Nine. And I'm currently really struggling through Star Voyager. This is my, I don't know if you know about this, that there are people for whom law and order, they go to sleep to law and order.

[B]

This makes sense to me, okay?

[A]

It's a subculture and they're out there and I can't say I trust them. What I support is a utopic, post capitalist meta society comprised of over 4 trillion alien beings. And that's what puts me to sleep.

[B]

Now can you walk me through what is the timeline on all these? Like are these the old Star Treks? Are these the 90s star treks?

[A]

We're in pure 90s zone.

[B]

90S. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You come at me with some original series, I'm gonna say, okay, Boomer, Uh huh. You come at me with some of that new stuff, I'm gonna say, sorry, Gen Alpha. I'm not down with the TikTok ification of the Starfleet. I want sweet spot gangsta rap is on the radio, but Utopia is on the screen.

[B]

Uh huh. And so who's our Kirk here? This is.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Picard. We're Picarding.

[A]

Yeah, we're picarding. Okay, okay, okay, listen, it's nighttime, we're about to go to bed, so I'm not gonna get too upset, but don't Kirk my Picard.

[B]

I want Kirk Picard.

[C]

So we're talking the LeVar Burton years, the Wil Wheaton years. Is that what we're talking about?

[A]

Oh Yeah. I mean, LeVar Burton. Let's just take him, okay? Other than Roots, which was how he became famous, levar's whole career has been one of pure. Just a synthetic down blanket of a man. I mean.

[B]

Cause he's our reading rainbow man, right?

[A]

Exactly. Everything he does is comforting. I want him to be my uncle.

[B]

Yeah, well, he might not be busy. We could book that.

[A]

You think I could call his agent.

[B]

And say, what's he up to?

[A]

Levar. Babe, Babe. Levar, we got a really cool offer. You're gonna be playing for the rest of your life the uncle of comedian Moshe Kasher.

[B]

And it doesn't pay well, but the exposure. Oh, you'll be at every family reunion.

[A]

Yeah. And every single night, right before he goes to bed, you're gonna pop up on the screen and say, goodnight, nephew.

[B]

As a classic uncle duty that all of our uncles did, you have to get one good night from your uncle every night.

[A]

I mean, that's what the 90s were like. Your uncle would knock on your door at about 10pm, he would say goodnight, give you a hug, and then he'd drive back to his studio apartment.

[C]

Uh huh.

[B]

That's why these kids are not being raised right these days. They're not getting enough uncle night nights.

[A]

That's right. The two big problems are participation trophies and no uncle good nights. That's what we're dealing with.

[B]

We're trying to change that over at Hatch. This is rent to uncle, our new program starting with LeVar. Okay, well, this is an amazing bedtime routine. I'm not a TV watcher before bed. Just because I try and focus on it too, it just doesn't relax me. But I could see how something that's like very comfy, cozy, you're not like, what's gonna happen next? Could really work for that.

[A]

Yeah. I find specifically with a show like Star Trek where you love the characters so you kind of do feel uncle vibes from them and it's a little bit bubblegum. It gets you in the mood. Like good. The universe is okay. You know what, there's some problems with the Romulans, but honestly, everything's going to be okay.

[B]

They're going to figure that out.

[A]

It's time for bad.

[B]

All right, Kristin's got some grievances. I have some complaints too. Let's go ahead and air them. Moshe, get us right on in. What's this? Bedtime complaint.

[A]

All right, I'll start All right, listen, I just. After many years of resisting it, I. I just started. I was prescribed a mouth guard at night.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm so sorry for you.

[C]

I have one of those, too. Yeah.

[A]

And suddenly, this thing which I. I love sleep, by the way. These people in the world who struggle with sleep issues, I have so much compassion for them. Not because I'm a good person, but because I love sleep so much. And I've never. I sleep so easily. I've got a gift. I sleep on planes as a rule, when I'm not tired. Wow. But all of a sudden, now this thing, which I've. And I nap daily, by the way. I'm a daily napper. My wife hates it. I have a theory that she makes extra noise when my nap time begins because she resents it.

[C]

We all want to be able to nap.

[A]

Yeah, I love a nap. But now, all of a sudden, this thing, which I cherish, has become clinical, you know, it's like right before bed, you know, when you're feeling, like, cozy and Levar just tucked you in and said, goodnight, nephew. Now, you slide a thick slab of silicone into your teeth and you start. You have a speech impediment now, and you can't kiss anybody good night, and you're just this, like, medic. Whatever happened to suffering? That was the good old days. Just suffer through your mouth pain, you know?

[B]

And so this is a grinding related issue, this mouth guard.

[A]

Well, I do everything uniquely.

[B]

I know that about you.

[A]

Yes. It's a famous thing. I don't believe I grind. I wake up, and maybe I have bad dreams, maybe it's all the TV I'm watching. But I wake up unbelievably clenched, iron jaw clenched, and it has started to hurt to eat recently. And if there's one thing I love more than sleeping and napping, it's munching. And so I'm hoping that this is gonna help, but I do not like the process.

[C]

Yeah, I feel your pain. I have a mouth guard. I resisted it for about 10 years before the doctor, the dent, the oral health people were like, you need to get on this. This is ridiculous. So I hear you, Moshe. Can I give you a couple tips that might help you to feel better about it?

[A]

Absolutely. And you can become my aunt.

[C]

Oh, my God. Does that mean Levar Burton's my husband? Oh, I love this.

[A]

Or brother. Or brother. It depends.

[C]

I'll take either one.

[B]

I'll take it. Not both.

[C]

Not both at the same time, no.

[A]

Hey, you know what? In the future, imagined reality of star the next generation. Anything like that.

[B]

I figured something out with that. I figured that out.

[C]

Very different star tre. Okay, so number one, I like to put my mouth guard in and look at how cute I look with my mouth guard in.

[B]

Oh, this is nice. Now, I love advice that ends in, remember you're cute.

[C]

Remember you're cute. So put it in. And then you're like, oh, it looks like I got some lip plumper in. It's not really lip plumper. It's my mouth guard. And I got those kissable plump pillow lips that the real housewives pay good money for, but I just have them now. Cause my mouth guard is in. Enjoy it.

[A]

I like this. Cause I could roll over to my wife and say, look at what kissed lips I have. And nothing. I would say nothing turns someone on more than a person with a mouth guard leaning in for a smooch. Yes.

[C]

Yep. Well, I do kiss my husband every night with my mouth guard in with the guard. Oh, I sure do.

[A]

That's goals. That's nice. That's goals. Okay, auntie, Auntie. That's goals.

[C]

That might be something you have to work your way up into or just something that you can enjoy.

[A]

And by the way, what if she responds incredib enthusiastically, like, I've never experienced it.

[C]

Go with it.

[A]

Go with it.

[B]

Run with that.

[C]

Yes. Enjoy where it takes you. It's a journey.

[A]

Beautiful.

[C]

Yeah. So enjoy that. Yeah.

[A]

It's nice to have somebody with some lived experience helping me through what is truly a less than desirable. Now I'm gonna go to bed at night and I'm gonna look at my plump lips. I can't wait.

[B]

That's the thing. I think that's a big takeaway. I have crazy jaw pain, but I realized it's from, like, sleeping on my. I'm like sleeping popping my jaw out on the pillow. So I had to do a whole training routine to sleep on my back.

[A]

You guys wanna know? I think I'm gonna maybe blow your minds right now.

[B]

Please.

[A]

My pillow routine. How I actually sleep, I'd like to see. You've never heard of anything like this? I can almost guarantee it. I sleep two pillows. One under one shoulder, one under the other shoulder head raw dogging on the mattress.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Are you a. Hold on. Are you on your back or your front?

[A]

I'm a stomach boy.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

I'm also a stomach sleeper and this could be game changing for me. I might need to try this.

[A]

Oh. Ah. The nephew becomes the uncle.

[B]

I'd imagine this is good for your neck. Cause it's like you're not propping it odd.

[A]

I don't know if it's good or bad, but it is about pain.

[B]

That's what's happening.

[A]

It's about pain. And I with an actual pillow. I went to a pillow store this week. This is crazy that I'm on this show. I went to a pillow store this week in Ashland, Oregon and it was way too intense and I had to run out of the store cause the woman was so enthusiastic about pillows. But I'm looking in my life and maybe your listeners can help me. I'm looking for a brand new pillow that feels like a 35 year old pillow. That is what, that's the grail. And I want two. I don't want any support. No support hurts. Give me armpit one, armpit two, head on the mattress and I will be able to sleep comfortably.

[B]

I'm a really thin pillow sleeper too. I need like truly a table napkin be enough for me. I just need this tiniest little bit. But I do like, I like a lumpy. I'm like, that's fine with me. I like a rat it around. You may need to do like, you know, just hit it against the wall thousands of times to get it lumped up, you know.

[A]

Interesting, interesting idea. Yeah.

[B]

Run over with it. Your car just kind of like really tatter it.

[A]

Both my daughter and my wife both have what they call their silkies and they're these silk pillows. And my daughter got one from my wife. It's super unfair because I've been around longer and I was actually involved in creating her, but she has one and they're like legacy pillows, you know, they're like, they're from the 70s probably, they barely exist. And I have these big old, I'm, you know, synthetic y. I'm looking if anybody knows a brand. Hit me.

[C]

I want those recommendations too. Listeners, send us an email@thenightlyach co for Moshe. For all of us, we need some pillow help here.

[B]

All right, this is good. We fully agree. We figured that mouthguard are out which is just pretend you have lip fillers. That's helpful. Kristen, what are you grievancing these days?

[C]

Well, you know, it's holiday party season. I've been to a lot of holiday parties lately and I just gotta say, too many of these holiday parties have one of my biggest pet peeves, bench seats. So when I am sitting at a table and there are people on either side of me and we're on a bench seat and one more person tries to Sit down with us. We all essentially have to get up. Or if I'm the one trying to get into the seat, how do I do this? I'm always wearing a mini skirt, so I'm like, do I lift my leg over the person next to me? How do I squeeze in there? Anytime someone gets up to get another drink or go to the bathroom, we all need to be closer or further from the table, depending on our body type. Bench seats also are so freaking uncomfortable. Just a slab of wood that we're all sitting on. I hate them so much. And sorry for all the people inviting me to holiday parties. I love your parties. Your parties are great. This is the only complaint I have is that so many parties I've been to this year. The bench seat. I don't understand it. Is this one of those Chip and Joanna Gaines country living sorts of decorating aesthetic things that started a few years ago? Because it seems like they're everywhere right now. These bench seats, what I'm talking about.

[B]

You're saying they have sometimes like a.

[C]

A dining room table where two sides have bench seats and then the papa chair and, you know, mama chair at either end, but. But then just benches along either side of the long table.

[A]

Are these permanent? These are. These are their permanent fixtures. Right? They're not brought in for the party. I mean, I know why the bench seat. The bench seat is there for ease of allowing to stuff people in. But I hear what you're saying. Why would you want to live like that permanently?

[B]

But when you don't have people over, how easy to just adjust one thing to look good. I'll say, you know, having a dining table with a few chairs, they're always a little askew. It's not as clean a look. But I'm not. I don't want to be the bench defender here. I mean, I'm with you. I don't. I personally don't usually mind that much just because I really have a strong bladder. I'm not getting up a lot. Once I'm sat down, I'll. I'll stay there a lot. So I take the middle ones, though, out of respect.

[A]

But you're not constantly in miniskirts. I mean, that's really, really. That's the rub here.

[B]

And, Kristin, we don't want to take that from you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We know that you need those miniskirts.

[A]

Let me just hop in here and say, far be it for me to ever tell a woman what to wear. But maybe when the holiday party invite comes, you think to yourself, you know, What? I'm going to a party. I'm going to wear a pair of pants that is about 15 inches too long. And so it comes straight up over your feet and you just go. And that'll be a fun little talking point. They'll be like, why are you wearing those? And you go, well, you know, Ben seats. Everybody will know what you're talking about. You know, and then you just stumble your way to the bathroom.

[B]

It may have to be a thing that people start disclosing, too. You know how, like, in an Airbnb listing, you're like, does it have a hot tub? You have to disclose something like that, right? I think you might have to force people.

[A]

You think at an Airbnb you're. You're legally required to disclose hot tubs.

[B]

You must. I don't want to get there. And you're passing it off as a bathtub when it's a hot tub. You have to have told me that.

[A]

There are so many times that I've checked into an Airbnb and I, to my horror, discovered that there's a hot tub there. And I read a strongly worded email to the owner and said, you should have warned. Yeah, I gotta get out of here. I want a refund. You should have warned me.

[B]

I need a downgrade immediately. Switch me to a room without one of these.

[C]

Yes. And then give me a bench seat while you're at it.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

So this may be a thing where we legally have to disclose bench. If it's gonna be bench.

[A]

I like that. Please join us for holiday songs, Mirth, Eggnog. And FYI, there will be bench seats. We understand if you need to decline.

[B]

The invitation and you might have to, Kristen.

[C]

I might have to. I mean, now I'm starting to wonder, do people who have bench seats, they just don't want their guests to stay very long? This is their way of saying, this holiday party starts at 5 and we'll be over by 7. Is that what the bench seat is saying? Or is it really just about cram in as many people as we can?

[A]

The only problem with all of these theories is that you're saying these are clearly permanent benches, so it means they're living well. I mean. Okay, here's a way to approach it. You can find compassion that while you're in misery only for two or three hours at a party, they live in this misery year round.

[B]

Yes. That's a real gratitude moment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, I kind of solved this problem inadvertently. I hosted a party last weekend, and my pov lately. And I think it's evil of me, but it's. What I've chosen to do is I take out all the seats because I think that people stand at parties and that creates a more mingling environment. I think seats can lend to people sort of just parking and then getting tired. So I've sort of trapped people in a standing only home. I mean, I have the couch that stays, but I'm like, I try and keep it an outdoor because I have a nice backyard and I sort of removed some of the seats, I'll be honest.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Oh, it's a little bit. Look at this.

[B]

Evil.

[A]

It's brilliant. Yeah. And a little bit torturous. A little bit. If I may stand, Ford Prison Experiment.

[B]

Yes, yes, you may. Of course you may.

[C]

Oh, my God. That was so good and really lovely. So bad. Okay, kp, I'm in favor of this because I do think that we as humans sometimes just go to what's easy. We go to the comfort zone, and that means we sometimes are missing out on the fun. And if you're creating a situation where people kind of have to interact, it's gonna be more fun for everybody in the end.

[B]

That's what I was thinking. I think, you know, people in LA get sleepy really quick, and that's okay, and I respect that and I like that. But I'm trying to get people to stay a while. You're on your feet, you don't know what's gonna happen. I'm scaring them often just to keep them awake.

[A]

Oh, the party was in Los Angeles.

[B]

This was Los Angeles? Yes.

[A]

Oh, I live in Los Angeles. I.

[B]

Okay, so it was. It's just a really intimate party.

[A]

It sounds like the opposite of what, by the way you're describing it. You're taking all the chairs out. There's a big gathering.

[B]

Now that I'm describing it, everyone slept on the ground. Everyone was sitting on the ground. It wasn't fun at all. Everyone sat right down on the ground.

[C]

Very uncomfortable. Pillows. Terrible.

[B]

It was bad. You would have hated it.

[A]

I mean, listen, if you had said, I had a party last week and I had a bunch of people on my bench seats, I'd have been like, thank God you didn't invite me. And now you're describing a wonderful standing, mingling party. And I'm like, where was my invite?

[B]

Or if it was a party with a hot tub, God forbid, well, then.

[A]

The police would have been called.

[B]

Remove this.

[C]

Yes, kp, we need to get to you, though.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Can we talk about your grievance. Do you have a grievance tonight?

[B]

I do. I mean, it's a real low level one. I just, I have a small kitchen and I'm noticing now that the appliances are so one use. And I've sort of stayed like made a stand here, which is. I'm not gonna have a microwave, which ostensibly is like the most useful of the appliances. But I just decided that that's what's up for me. And I've been like, if I have to reheat my coffee, I'm putting it in a cooking pot. So I think I'm like, I know I'm doing something wrong, but I just would love to know what I can get rid of. Maybe because I have a countertop dishwasher and that's taking up a lot of the space.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

So I don't have a regular dishwasher. So you.

[A]

I'm unbelievably wealthy. I don't understand.

[B]

Yes, that's. So it's like your butler, but in a sort of. Imagine he's sitting on the counter washing.

[A]

Your dishes, like cross legged, like Lotus Position. And he's exactly. Oh, that sounds charming.

[B]

It is, it is. So this is like if you don't have an actual dishwasher, it's just this big hunkin machine that you pour water into and it holds about six plates, three cups. But for me, who lives alone, this is. It's been really a game changer. So I need to keep her.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

Yes, you do. You do need to keep her.

[B]

I don't think. Is it really. If you don't have her microwave, you're heating your cup in a saucepan.

[C]

You know, kp, I've been there before. I went through a long period without having a microwave.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And I have a microwave again. And it's wonderful.

[B]

I know.

[C]

And you don't need a big one. It can be just a very small one that sits on top of your refrigerator. Or if you have a dining room, it can sit on the sideboard of your dining room. But I don't want to take out a saucepan and turn on the gas of my stove every time I warm up tea or coffee.

[A]

I have some thoughts too. And please, this is gonna feel. I really don't want this to feel judgmental or harsh.

[B]

No, I need it.

[A]

But there's also a kind of messaging that not having a microwave sounds.

[B]

That's what I was worried about.

[A]

It's one of, you know these people who have quick coffee, but they're doing matcha These days.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's that energy, you know what I mean? You know the people that have a headache and you're like, oh, take Tylenol. And they're like, oh, no, no, I don't do that. It's got that kind of. You know what I mean?

[B]

I can't have that be my thing.

[A]

And even if it is about space, and I genuinely believe you that it is, you can't help what message you're sending to people. You know, when you're slowly stirring your coffee with a wooden spoon, you know.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Because you've gotten rid of your plastic cookery, it just gives a vibe.

[B]

In hearing this, I think what I need to get rid of is the convection oven, because I already have a big oven. If anything, get rid of the convection air fryer. Because it's like, if I'm going to turn one thing on, make it be the oven rather than the stove for coffee.

[A]

Yeah, you don't need an air fryer in your life.

[B]

No, no, I've never used it.

[A]

Yeah. Big air fryer is one of the most effective propaganda campaigns of the modern and the most damaging of the modern era.

[B]

Out of all of them. Yeah.

[C]

I do think more damaging than the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling machine.

[B]

That good, actually.

[A]

Yeah. That seems like it could have had a positive impact on society that brought.

[B]

Like, panini pressing to a generation that had forgotten about the art. We almost lost that.

[A]

And who better to bring paninis than the heavyweight champion of the world? That's the guy.

[B]

All right. We have solved all of the problems facing, really, the world at this point.

[C]

I think so, yeah.

[B]

What can we look forward to from you, Moshe? Is there anything that our listeners should be checking out that you've been working on?

[A]

Well, you can listen to my podcast. It's called the Endless Honeymoon Podcast. I do with my wife, and we dole out relationship advice. And we're actually performing at the Fish Festival in Riviera Maya in January. Fish Ph. Fish. The band.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Not seafood. And I'm gonna be in. I'm doing a world tour in December. A big world tour. You know, it starts in Cincinnati on December 19th and 20th, and then it ends in Tokyo. And there are no stops between. It's just Cincinnati and Tokyo. I'll be in Tokyo on December 26th. And that's the whole world tour, all the important places. And, you know, you can find my books, too. I wrote books. One's called Casher in the Rye, one's called Subculture Vulture. If you want a something to go to sleep to. A book really helps.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

Absolutely, yes.

[B]

All right, we are turning in. We'd love to get some special goodnights. Set the scene for us. Moshe, who are you saying goodnight to specifically?

[A]

I think I'll say goodnight to Levar Burton.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Hey, Unk. I just want to tell you what you've meant to me. And I just mentioned books, but you introduced me to books. And so I want you, levar. I want you to shine those Emmys, put some nice cozy socks on, take that visor off that you probably wear the prop from Star Trek the Next generation. You probably wear it to bed every night. Take that visor off and put it in your mouth as a night guard. Because I have found empowerment in night guard. And no one is more beautiful than me with a slab of silicone between my teeth. Except you, Levar. Uncle Levar. Lieutenant Jordi Laforge. I love you and everybody else find the Levar within your beautiful. Good night.

[B]

Wow, that is amazing. Good night, Kristen. Good night, Moshe. Good night, Levar Burton.

[A]

Good night.

[C]

Good night, all of you. Sweet dreams, all of you.

[A]

Good night, Butler.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Sam. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch co. You can also follow us at HatchPodcasts.