“Lesbians Know The Guys To Fix The Stuff”

Summary

The Nightly Podcast — “Lesbians Know The Guys To Fix The Stuff”
Date: May 23, 2026
Hosts: Wills & Josh (Hatch Podcasts)

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Nightly, hosted by Wills and Josh, is all about the challenges of dealing with home maintenance, the anxiety of buying new things (especially furniture and appliances), and the unique value of having “a guy who knows a guy.” Through playful banter and relatable anecdotes, they explore the world of late-night worries and victories—like fixing glasses, choosing the right air conditioner, and why lesbians always seem to know the most reliable fixers.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Saga of Air Conditioners and Home Appliances

• Josh shares big news—his bedroom air conditioner was finally replaced, a major quality-of-life upgrade especially given their apartment layout (01:16).
  • “[The repair guy] was very nice and replaced. Took the old one away, replaced it with the new one. It was in the wall.” — Josh (03:23)
  • The process was smoother than expected, highlighting good landlord-tenant relations and the comfort of a cold room at night (03:23-03:55).
• Wills relates, needing to install units for every room and dealing with rusted childproof window bars, which required a professional to remove (04:23–04:41).
• The overwhelming choice of AC units—both hosts lament the impossibility of trusting online reviews and instead relying on word-of-mouth or, as Wills jokes, “a queer zine” (05:11).
  • “I'm only... doing that word-of-mouth air conditioner recommendation. Only you... I get to find out from a zine.” — Josh (05:04)

2. The Importance of Trusted Opinions

• Furniture anxiety—Wills details the stress of buying a used mid-century chair from Facebook Marketplace, explaining the need for multiple rounds of friend validation before making a purchase (06:24–09:26).
  • “When I'm buying something expensive, I literally need at least like three to five people to look me in my eye and be like, it's okay.” — Wills (09:14)
• Spending guilt and the rationalizations to justify a purchase: “Buying the chair is a non-liquid asset... I have to walk around being like, it's an investment. It's an investment. It's an investment.” — Wills (06:38)
• Josh’s sticker shock—the reality of adult purchasing power: “I was like, an office chair, what's that going to cost? $75... You fool. Have you ever... When was the last time you bought a chair? During the Great Depression?” — Josh & Wills (10:07–10:19)

3. Mini-Disaster: The Glasses Incident

• Wills’s glasses break at the gym and he must gingerly carry a minuscule screw home, relying on friends and eventually a local shop (Fabulous Optics) for the fix (10:57–14:05).
  • “I was like, this is what it feels like to have a child. The most precious cargo in the world.” — Wills (14:05)
• Relief at expert help—The optician fixes the glasses in “thirty seconds flat,” sparking appreciation for skilled people who don’t gatekeep and don’t overcharge (15:12–15:23).
  • “It’s always so nice when you have an experience where someone who is an expert is like, oh, yeah, this is easy for me. And I will not make you feel bad about relying on my expertise.” — Josh (15:13)

4. The Power of “Having a Guy”

• The conversation celebrates the cottage industry of fixers—quirky, independent shops or “guys” who can make problems disappear for cash, no questions asked (16:01–16:31).
• Lesbian social capital—Wills and Josh bond over the truism that in any community, lesbians always know who can get things fixed, a point extended with affection and humor.
  • "If there is a community that knows a guy, it's the lesbians. And I'll tell you that they know the guys to do to fix the stuff." — Wills (16:59)
  • “The Lesbian's Guide to Knowing a Guy—(gender neutral, of course.)” — Josh & Wills (16:54–16:59)

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “You have to have someone that's gonna really be real with you. And... spending money is like the scariest thing in the world to me.” — Wills (06:38)
• “I'm putting my zines on a website... the lesbian scene website.” — Wills (05:48)
• “I was like, this is what it feels like to have a child—The most precious cargo in the world.” — Wills (14:05)
• “I know a guy culture—like, ‘we do the fixing’. They're always called like that.” — Josh (16:16)
• “Good night to the guys and lesbians everywhere.” — Josh (18:21)

---

Notable Timestamps

• 01:16 — Josh announces his AC news
• 04:23 — Wills shares his own AC/unit struggles
• 05:11 — Riff on queer zines as the only trustworthy product reviews
• 06:24–09:26 — The saga of buying the perfect chair and the emotional labor involved
• 10:57–15:12 — Wills’s glasses break and the odyssey of repair
• 16:01 — Lamenting the unpredictability of repair shops and the advantage of “knowing a guy”
• 16:54–17:10 — “The Lesbian's Guide to Knowing a Guy”
• 17:47–18:25 — Goodnight wishes for all the helpful “guys” and the lesbian community

---

Episode Tone & Atmosphere

• Warm and playful, packed with self-deprecating humor
• Relatable discussions about adulting, anxieties, and the deep satisfaction of minor victories
• A cozy, confiding “late-night chat between friends” vibe
• Celebratory of chosen family and queer community wisdom

---

Summary Takeaway

This episode embodies The Nightly’s blend of warmth, wit, and bedtime introspection, exploring mundane but relatable nighttime worries—broken appliances, furniture purchases, lost screws, and the deep comfort of reliable people in your circle. Above all, it’s a gentle ode to the power of community knowledge: We all need “a guy,” but as Wills insists, “if there’s a group that knows a guy, it’s the lesbians.”

---

Listen for: Advice on tackling late-night emergencies, validation for all your small home/anxiety woes, and a celebration of the everyday heroes who just know how to fix stuff.

Transcript

[Wills]

Audio for sleep by Hatch.

[Narrator]

You know how you finish a romantasy and you just need the next thing immediately? Hatch made that thing. It's called Ophelia. An original audio drama inspired by Hamlet where Ophelia finally gets to be the main character. Forbidden magic, a crumbling kingdom, a slow burn love triangle with a prince and his very guarded, very intriguing best friend. The kind of love triangle where you will absolutely pick a side and you will not be quite quiet about it. Book one of the three part series is now available for free wherever you stream with new chapters dropping every Tuesday. For books two and three, check out Hatch co Ophelia.

[Wills]

Hey there. I'm Wills.

[Josh]

And I'm Josh. Welcome to the Night Leaf from Hatch, where your late night thoughts go to rest. Josh Wills, big news over here. If you don't mind me jumping right in.

[Wills]

No, please jump in.

[Josh]

Okay, so this is huge. Big for us, big for the listeners. We just got our air conditioner in our bedroom replaced.

[Wills]

Hell yeah.

[Josh]

And because the way our apartment is where all the windows are on one side, there's no way to like get cross ventilation going unless you get a big fan. And so funny. Which I didn't realize this, but my. I. Cause I like a fan, but my wife is sleeping time fan averse because it blows her hair all over the place.

[Wills]

Got. I mean, you gotta respect.

[Josh]

I do respect, but it's also. That is an alien experience to me completely. Yeah. Like for me to have hair that blows around, I would have to grow like a Rick Rubin beard.

[Wills]

Yeah, it would. Yeah. You could get a really long beard and then you could. To kind of put yourself in her shoes.

[Josh]

That's right. Just. But I certainly am capable of empathy. So I understand that there is not a bedtime fan situation. So you got this air conditioner.

[Wills]

I'm like. Do you want to say what kind you got? How do you feel about that?

[Josh]

I don't know. I honestly don't know what kind it is. We have. It's not a window unit, but we don't have central air. We have. There's a secret third kind of air conditioner where there's just like a big hole cut in the wall and the air conditioner goes in the wall hole.

[Wills]

So I'm familiar. And that's what you guys did.

[Josh]

And that's. Yeah, we had to get it replaced I guess though, because we've been in our apartment for like nine years as of this summer.

[Wills]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And you know, it's. Our landlord is fortunately pretty good about replacing stuff as it expires. You know, like I almost said utensils, but I meant appliances. You know, utensils. Like a microwave and a washing machine.

[Wills]

Yeah. He always replaces the forks in the. And the knives and the spoon.

[Josh]

Imagine if I asked her like, hey, our spoons are getting a little bent because I dig right into a pint of ice cream without letting it thaw. And you'd be like, that's on you.

[Wills]

You're like, I need this replaced by tomorrow. I have guests coming.

[Josh]

I have guests coming over. And this is. I will withhold rent unless you replace all my spoons.

[Wills]

Yes. Literally, you're like, I'm squatting because they won't replace my spoons.

[Josh]

That's right. Tenants rights. But they sent a guy and the guy was very nice and replaced. Took the old one away, replaced it with the new one. It was in the wall.

[Wills]

Perfect.

[Josh]

And we had to do the same thing last year in our living room, which is a much bigger room. So they're like, run it for a little while. It takes a little while for it to really. Its powers to reach full strength. But the bedroom one in a smaller room by like 10 minutes in, I was like, ooh, this is the Arctic. Oh my God, I love that it's capable of this.

[Wills]

Yeah, that feels amazing. It's incredible. So I'm in a place similar, but also different, of course, which is that I don't have like a. I don't have the hole in the wall. The AC is on me. So I have one. What I'm working with right now is I have one unit, but I have. I think I need to get. Honestly, like if I'm being completely real with myself, I think I need to get. I should get two more units. Cuz I have my living room, my bedroom, and then I want one in the kitchen. Cuz when you cook and it gets hot, it's the worst thing ever.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Wills]

But also, like today I had my. What I was having the issue with is that I have these. I have like childproof bars on, but they were kind of like rusted on. I tried to take them out myself in a very rudimentary way. And I'm not capable enough with like a drill to be doing this right now.

[Josh]

Totally.

[Wills]

And so today, luckily they came and they took them off. So now I can get my units in. But I'm like. The reason I asked why. What. If you knew what kind it is, is that I'm. I'm in the market for a new AC unit. And that's one of those things. That is so overwhelming to me. Like, it's really hard to get any kind of honest. Literally. You have to have your friend tell you what they got. Cause it's just like I can't. I can't trust anything online.

[Josh]

I'm.

[Wills]

I'm only.

[Josh]

Yeah, I only do that. I'm unplugged. I'm doing that word of mouth air conditioner recomm recommendation. Only you I get to find out from a zine.

[Wills]

Literally. Literally I'm finding out from. From a queer zine. And it's like the only. The only. It really is just like the. Because also like you. It's just. We all know like you get fatigue. Like you look at what now I'm. I'm looking at 50 different air conditioners and I'm like completely fatigued and I. And I have choice paralysis.

[Josh]

That's right. That's why you've got to go straight to air conditioners. The. By lesbians for lesbians. Air conditioner.

[Wills]

Air condition. AC units. Yeah, no, literally, the zine website. But yeah, it is like

[Josh]

I put my zines on a website.

[Wills]

The lesbian. The lesbian scene website. But it really is like, that's. I don't know. Yeah, that's like. The thing is you just have to be. You just have to ask one trusted source, AKA a person and really what they say to you, you have to be like, I'm doing it. I'm just, I'm moving forward with it and I'm doing it now.

[Josh]

Do you have people in your life that you rely on for different kinds of things like that?

[Wills]

Okay, well, this is kind of relate. So as we know, I've been having a whole thing with my living room where I've been, as I like in my head keep saying, I'm renovating my apartment and what that really means that I rearrange my living room. I'm buying some new furniture.

[Josh]

Did you do it again?

[Wills]

So I didn't rearrange again, but I, I bought a chair. Okay. Earlier.

[Josh]

Where did you get the chair from?

[Wills]

So I got the chair on Facebook. Marketplace.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Wills]

I think especially living alone, I get so scared of buying anything.

[Josh]

You gotta have a second opinion.

[Wills]

I. You have to have a second opinion and you have to have someone that's gonna really be real with you. And. And like also I just get. Spending money is like the scariest thing in the world to me. Like. But I was like buying the chair is a non liquid asset because like I, I literally have to walk around being like, it's an investment, it's an investment. It's an investment.

[Josh]

And it's. It's like a car, though. It. It depreciates as soon as you get it off the lot.

[Wills]

No, don't say that. I actually heard that mid century furniture appreciates in value.

[Josh]

I didn't know that. Well, this is exciting because we're approaching the next mid century.

[Wills]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So we're about to. About to make a bunch of new, valuable furniture.

[Wills]

Boom. But it is like, that's the kind of thing where I like, hear that and I'm like, that. I have to let that be true.

[Josh]

Yep.

[Wills]

For the reality that I live in.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Wills]

In terms of if I'm gonna, like, buy a chair that is nice and I. I'll say it a little bit expensive, I have to be able to tell myself, like, this will appreciate in value.

[Josh]

I.

[Wills]

And the thing is, it actually doesn't really. It really isn't gonna matter if it does or not. Cause it's my chair. I'm gonna have it for myself.

[Josh]

Because you're not gonna flip the chair. You're not like, okay, now I'm gonna sell this chair. Now that I appreciate. Yeah.

[Wills]

But I just have to be. There's just these things I have to. I have to believe in order to buy.

[Josh]

What kind. So this is a mid century chair.

[Wills]

It's a mid century chair. I can share it with you. Yeah.

[Josh]

Give me a chair. Chair. Oh, that looks comfy.

[Wills]

Yeah. Right. So the chair, to explain to the listeners, is kind of like, like a mustardy brown leather chair with like the little, like. What is that called? Like the cushion divots.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah. Buttons, but yeah, Button like rivets almost.

[Wills]

Yeah. Like the quilted button kind of thing.

[Josh]

Very.

[Wills]

And then it has. It has a kind of like, dark wood frame, which is honestly exactly what I wanted. I wanted. I wanted a deep, comfortable chair because I wanted, like, something that someone could sit in while we watch tv. And I was hoping that it would have. I wanted it to be a little bit like a lot of the stuff I was like, brighter. I wanted something that was like, a little bit more, like, masculine. So, like, the dark wood is nice.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Wills]

So, yeah. It honestly is perfect. Wow. So I feel com. I feel happy.

[Josh]

And the wood is Danish modern or the wood is modern oak. It is a Danish.

[Wills]

The wood is a modern oak, y'. All. So write that down.

[Josh]

I guess maybe the chair is modern and it's oak.

[Wills]

Yes, yes. It's a. She's a modern girl.

[Josh]

That's right. Thoroughly modern chair.

[Wills]

Yes. Thoroughly modern chair. Thoroughly modern mid century chair.

[Josh]

And do you have. It has. Have you brought it in yet?

[Wills]

I put it in the space. I brought it in. I was, I was laughing because I was like texting my friends, being like. Because literally last night when I. Last night one of my friends was like, you. You can't stop talking about the furniture. I was like, mostly it's like when I'm buying something expensive, I literally need at least like three to five people to look me in my eye and be like, it's okay.

[Josh]

You're allowed to spend money that you have on something that you need for your home.

[Wills]

Of course. Which is. I'm obviously a deeper problem that I have, but it is like, I just, especially with the living alone I get. So I'm like, it's just me in here and I really need someone to be like, hey, like, it's okay. Like, spend money from time to time.

[Josh]

I also get so resentful of having to spend money on things I don't usually think about. Like, I know I bought an office chair a few years ago because I was like working from home a lot more.

[Wills]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And I don't know why I thought this, but like, I was like, an office chair, what's that going to cost? $75.

[Wills]

You're like, so it'll be $25. They're like, you idiot.

[Josh]

You fool. Have you ever. You have. When was the last time you bought a chair? During the Great Depression?

[Wills]

You're like, it's a nickel. Right?

[Josh]

Right.

[Wills]

Yeah.

[Josh]

In my day, an office chair cost a nickel and you could see a movie just by winking at the usher.

[Wills]

Exactly.

[Josh]

But yeah, so it's. I'm always like shocked when things cost a normal amount.

[Wills]

And I don't know, things like office chairs, like, that is something where they really will be like, it's going to be like an exorbitant, exorbitant amount of money because they're like, don't you want your. Like, it'll. If you don't get the nice one, your back will be shot. Like, I feel like they're just a

[Josh]

third of your life. Yeah. Same with mattress.

[Wills]

Okay. I have a story to tell you.

[Josh]

Okay. I want to hear it.

[Wills]

Okay. Yesterday I was at the gym and I have these glasses that I love. I have these like wireframe silver glasses that I love and adore.

[Josh]

They're very good.

[Wills]

They're my only glasses and I don't have contacts and they're. I don't. My prescription is very low, so it's not a Big deal. But it is annoying to not have them. I'm. I don't know what. I was. I was doing some type of, like, ab workout, and basically the glasses completely broke.

[Josh]

Oh, no.

[Wills]

The frame around one of the lenses popped open, and the lens fell out into my hand.

[Josh]

Oh, no.

[Wills]

I was like, what's going on?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Wills]

I take them out. This is where. This is where my. I really am a reframer. Because I was like, truly, what? Good luck. I look, the little screw has come out, but it hasn't fallen out. So, like, I have the screw.

[Josh]

Oh, okay.

[Wills]

This was a really. I was like, what do I do? Like, can I finish my workout? And I was like, I can't, because I need to not lose this screw. And I literally can't put this screw down, like, right.

[Josh]

There's nowhere to put it in a gym. That's. If you're like, do you keep it under your tongue?

[Wills]

Like, literally, it's like I swallow it and then I'll find it later. No, like, literally there. I was like, I have to go home because I have this little tiny screw.

[Josh]

Yep.

[Wills]

Mostly I'm worried because, to be quite honest, I was gonna watch Survivor with my friends, which I did, and I was like, I really want to be able to say, see Survivor to the best. That was one of my first thoughts, which was making me laugh.

[Josh]

You can't have Survivor all fuzzy.

[Wills]

Literally. I was like, I can't. It's like the second to last episode. This is extremely important. And so I leave the gym. I put my, like, glasses in the little lens in, like, a little tiny plastic container I have, and then I'm literally carrying the screw home. And this is one. If you want, you can pull up the reference image, share with you the screw. You guys would not believe the screw was smaller than an ant. The screw was maybe the third of the size of an. It was very. It's a fleck. Like, I was carrying, like.

[Josh]

Yep.

[Wills]

A crumb. A piece of dirt home. I'm like. I'm, like, asking my friends. I'm gonna see later. I'm like, do any of you guys, like, have. One of my friends is, like, an engineer, So I was like, maybe he'd be able to fix it. He might have. He was like, I can see if I can, like, bring a tiny screw set from work. I was like, okay. I was like, let me just go to the glasses place. I never know, like, stuff like that. I'm like, how easy is it to fix? Because for me, it's impossible. Like, I Couldn't put a tiny screw back in place no matter how hard I tried. But for some people, it's actually quite simple. So I put some people, they've trained their whole lives for this. Literally.

[Josh]

This is what they do.

[Wills]

Literally. So I. I put my glasses and my lens and my little tiny screw in a plastic bag. I go to the shout out, Fabulous optics. Where I. That's what it's called. Description. Yeah.

[Josh]

That's fun.

[Wills]

Yeah. It's like when I went in there the first time, I didn't. And I didn't buy my frames there, but they fill my. They like, did the. Put my lenses in for me. The guy was having me try on just some of the craziest glasses. Like, just a lot of glasses where I had to be like, I don't. These ones aren't me. I don't think these ones are me either. You know what? I'm gonna come back. But I go in and he. He did it. He did it in like, obviously 30 seconds flat. Cause he has all the right tools and equipment. But it was just. It was very scary. Carrying the screw home in between my fingers was like. I was like, this is what it feels like to have a child.

[Josh]

Yeah. You gotta keep it so simple.

[Wills]

The most precious cargo in the world.

[Josh]

And I know they make those. I feel like I haven't seen them around in a long time. But you could get them at a drugstore, right? It's like a little cylinder, a little kit. Yeah, that's the kit. But the problem with that is you don't think to buy one until the moment you need it. And if you have one in advance, it is like, it's so long between needing something like that that you're just like, oh, I have no idea where it is. It could be in my junk drawer. It could be in my bedside table.

[Wills]

Ye.

[Josh]

Um. It could have, like, fallen into my ear overnight and just disappeared there.

[Wills]

Once again, I ate it. And even, like, there was a moment when I dropped the screw.

[Josh]

Uh oh.

[Wills]

And I was like, so am I gonna find it? Because I can't see tiny stuff right now. I found it, obviously, but I was like, this is like, what is it? It's like Sisyphus who's like, has water. Who's like, drinking water but will never be hydrated or whatever.

[Josh]

Was that right?

[Wills]

No, he's. He's pulling, he's pushing. Sisyphus is pushing.

[Josh]

Yeah, he's got the ball.

[Wills]

Who's the guy where he's like, drowns, but he's like, Surrounded by water. That was me with the. With my glasses.

[Josh]

Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm glad that you figured it out in the long run, and I'm glad that they were so amenable.

[Wills]

I know.

[Josh]

It's always so nice when you have an experience where someone who is an expert is like, oh, yeah, this is easy for me. And I will not make you feel bad about relying on my expertise.

[Wills]

No, literally. And that's one of those things where it was free, which is amazing. But I also could see a world in which they did it in front of me. So I could see that all he was doing was screwing it back in. But I could see a world in which they take the glasses to the back.

[Josh]

And then this will be two weeks.

[Wills]

They're like, so it's going to be $180. You can get them next week.

[Josh]

And I never know, like, truly. I'm so bad at maintenance of things that I never know what thing is going to be, what, where. It's like, oh, hey, this key on my laptop keyboard is sticky. And they're like, well, we have to send it to Tibet and have a monk fix it in a monastery.

[Wills]

Literally.

[Josh]

I also love that there's, like, that cottage industry. I mean, like, love in quotation marks of, like, kind of bootleg places that will fix stuff. You, like, unsanctioned. And they're always called, like, we do the fixing.

[Wills]

Literally. They're like the Apple guys, But it's like Apple emoji. Because they, like, can't legally say, like.

[Josh]

And then you, like, bring in your phone and they're like, okay, we'll fix it, but don't tell anyone. Literally, pay me in cash and don't tell anyone.

[Wills]

I know this is. That's like, the best thing is, like, that's very. Like, I know a guy culture. Like, I feel like I have one person who I'm like, that's the guy where he's like. I'm like, you know where to buy for, like, the screen stuff? I'm like, you know, where to get the computers and the phones and, you know, to fix them, which is good. It's important.

[Josh]

It is important.

[Wills]

That's also going to be in the lesbian zine or got a guy resource page. It's like, really writes itself.

[Josh]

The Lesbian's Guide to Knowing a Guy.

[Wills]

Literally. Because they.

[Josh]

Guy. And then in parentheses, gender neutral.

[Wills]

Gender neutral, of course. I mean, if there is a community that knows a guy, it's the lesbians. And I'll tell you that they know the guys to do to fix the stuff. They really,

[Josh]

it is real. That's such a satisfying experience. Thank you for sharing that with me because it does feel nice to know that sometimes you have a little problem, it gets solved quickly, and then the rest of your day, you're just sailing,

[Wills]

you're smooth, you're watching Survivor with your friends.

[Josh]

Right. And you're seeing it perfectly. You're seeing things that Jeff Probst couldn't see because you got HD.

[Wills]

I'm watching that in 3D.

[Josh]

That's right. All manner of D accessible to us now.

[Wills]

Literally.

[Josh]

Wils, you'll have to keep me posted on how well this repaired pair of glasses holds up and your air conditioner situation.

[Wills]

And you'll have to tell me how your AC holds up.

[Josh]

Well, this is a perfect transition because I'm gonna say goodnight to the helpful gentleman who brought my new air conditioner, installed it, and took the other one away all in like seven minutes while my dog was extremely curious about what was going on.

[Wills]

Completely. I'm gonna say goodnight to you, Josh. And I'm gonna say goodnight to the guy who fixed my glasses. I'm gonna say goodnight to the guy who took the bars off my window. And I'm gonna say goodnight to the lesbians because I love you guys more than you could possibly imagine.

[Josh]

Good night to guys and lesbians everywhere.

[Wills]

Exactly. Good night, Sa. To learn more about our phone free

[Josh]

light and audio experience, head to Hatch

[Wills]

co. You can also follow us at HatchPodcasts.