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- [00:01]
A
Audio for sleep by hatch. Hello friends. Hello, hello. Welcome to the Nightly this is Kristen. We are so glad to have you here for our late night Call in show to help you get to sleep. Each night, listeners like you call in to share whatever's on their mind. And it can be anything. It can be a call for advice, a call to talk about a random observation, something that's keeping them up at night. It can be anything. And the caller could be you if you like. All you have to do is reach out to us. We are at the nightlyatch Co. Reach out if you want to be on the show. We'd love to hear from you. And we have a great caller tonight. But before we get to the caller, I just wanted to tell you about something that's been on my mind today, on my mind this evening. And that is a book I just got done reading by Emma Straub called American Fantasy. This is a novel and in it a middle aged woman goes by herself on a themed cruise. And it's very obvious, even though they never say it out loud, that the theme cruise is all about new kids on the Block. And it's such a fun book because the ship is filled with all these middle aged fans who have their own levels of fandom and politics and all sorts of gatekeeping and all sorts of rules, but also all sorts of enthusiasm and bonding that happens around the new kids on the block. And the new kids on the block, they do things like put on shows, mingle with the fans, participate in dance parties and so on. And Emma Straub, when she wrote this book, she did it because in real life that is something that she did. She did go by herself onto a New Kids on the Block cruise. And the way she writes about it in her book made me think, hey, I never thought I was a cruise person, but maybe I would be a cruise person for the right fan experience. Maybe it would be fun to bond with other people at sea over something that maybe the rest of the world laughs at or considers low brow. Maybe I'd have a blast. I've done other fan experiences before. I did the Bridgerton Ball. I've done Golden Con. I have another fan experience coming up this summer centered around a movie called Somewhere in Time that starred Christopher Reeves. And that's a very, very old movie. So I'm not afraid of a fan experience, but I feel like one at sea might be especially interesting because it's not for a few hours, it's for several days. And you're with so many rabid fans doing things that are all about this fandom. And yeah, I'm curious if you're out there listening right now, have you ever done a fan cruise? Is there something that you would recommend other people do you as far as fan cruises are concerned? Reach out to us. Let us know. But before you do that, let's take a listen to our caller tonight. Let's welcome them. Tonight we have somebody on the phone named Peggy. Peggy, welcome to the show.
- [03:57]
B
Thank you, Kristin. Thanks for having me.
- [04:00]
A
Peggy, we're so glad to have you here. Where are you joining us from?
- [04:04]
B
I am sitting in my pillow fort outside of Chicago, Illinois.
- [04:10]
A
Oh, excellent. I love it when people are enjoying the pillow fort atmosphere here at the Nightly. That's our jam. We love our pillow forts here. That's our place, right?
- [04:21]
B
Love a good pillow fort.
- [04:23]
A
So Peggy, what's on your mind tonight?
- [04:27]
B
So lately I have been thinking about how great it was to grow up in a big family, which is very old school because you just don't find big families anymore. Women are having less kids. But I grew up in a family of six kids. I have an older brother and a twin brother and a younger brother and two younger sisters. And back in the day it was just a whole different atmosphere growing up in a big family. So I've been thinking a lot about that lately, how much fun it was.
- [05:03]
A
What did you like best about it? What were some of the fun experiences that came along with having a large family?
- [05:10]
B
Well, it's funny because I mean, families are never perfect, but our family sort of put the fun in dysfunctional. There was always somebody to play with and we used to go outside, you know, after dinner and play wiffle ball and Red Rover and capture the flag. All these big games and family dinners were always such a thing. They were loud. There was always a lot of laughing. I remember that my oldest brother and my dad used to do a contest after dinner. They would sit at the head of each table and they would throw a wadded up napkin ball into a coffee cup and all of us kids would be on either side of the table and we would, whenever somebody got a point by getting the wadded up napkin into the coffee cup. We'd, we'd whisper ole Olay and it was just such a funny, it was just such a quirky thing. But that's, you know, something that was fun that, that our family did. And we had ice skating rink next door that my dad made. There was just always something to do and somebody to to play with when I was growing up and and we also had. There's something about a big family that makes you feel like you belong to something larger than yourself. Because we had traditions and things that we did that nobody else understood, like that silly game, but. But also we. At Christmas time, my dad would line us up according to height, and we had to sing Jingle Bells while we marched down the stairs to the Christmas tree. That was just all my siblings. And I know that. That. That's what you do. And we had a station wagon, as you would when you have six kids. And back in the day, there were no seat belts or anything like that. And it was a red station wagon with wood paneling.
- [07:05]
A
Ooh, classy.
- [07:08]
B
And my dad called it the Big Red Road Eater. And we would get into the Big Red Road Eater, and they'd put all the seats flat, and my dad would line us up like sardines. And we would take these trips to my grandmother's cottage and be lined up in the back sleeping and, you know, drive at night so that there wasn't much action in the car. And we just, you know, we sang songs together and. And we just had traditions that we all remember to this day.
- [07:42]
A
I love that visual of you lined up like sardines in the red. In big red station wagon. I can just picture that.
- [07:50]
B
Yeah. Yeah, the Big Red Road Eater. I know. And. And my parents used to sing drinking songs. They taught us all drinking songs. That was. That's what we did in the car. Isn't that funny?
- [08:04]
A
Oh, my gosh. Your parents sound like a blast. They sound like a good time.
- [08:08]
B
They were. They were really a good time. And they enjoyed having six kids, even though it was wild. There was so much chaos.
- [08:15]
A
Well, this is the impression I get growing up in a big family. Part of what made it fun is that you had parents who loved having a big family. And, like, your parents essentially are the party, and they're like, the party is so fun. Why not have more people at the party? That's kind of how exactly it sounds to me, and it really does sound like a great party. I'm curious, Peggy, did you and your siblings continue the tradition and have big families yourselves?
- [08:43]
B
Well, not really, but I have four daughters, so that's big. In this day and age.
- [08:49]
A
In this day and age, that's considered a big family.
- [08:51]
B
Yeah. Yeah. And I have a sister who has four, but then the others have three and two. But there are 19 grandchildren with all of us, so there's. And now there are, like, 24 or 26 great grandchildren.
- [09:09]
A
Oh, my gosh.
- [09:11]
B
So My parents started something really special.
- [09:14]
A
Oh, clearly. And do all the cousins and kids all get together still and enjoy some of those traditions you grew up with?
- [09:23]
B
Well, just recently, my mom passed away, and so she was 96 and lived a brilliant life, so all is well. But my siblings and I have gotten together a lot since then and really talked about how we wanted to be intentional about staying connected. And so that's. So I believe that we will get together more often than we have in the past. But it's really, you know, that's the other thing about a big family is that as adults, you have this strong support network, and we all help to take care of my aging parents. And everybody sort of played to their strengths. Somebody did the taxes and somebody did the laundry, and my sister would help with technology and things like that. So we weren't alone in that struggle, because it's often hard to take care of older parents. And now we can call each other in the absence of our parents, and that's pretty special, too.
- [10:25]
A
Oh, that's beautiful. They created something that wasn't just fun for them as parents, but something that once they were no longer around, that, that thing could continue and blossom and support itself, kind of like its own ecosystem. And I just love the idea that the big family experience wasn't just about growing up in the big family, which is how we started this conversation, but growing old in a big family, not just growing up in it, and having all of you there who have the same experiences in. In a way, you speak the same language, right?
- [11:02]
B
Yeah, we do. Although, you know, as in any big family, everybody's experience is different because you're born at a different time. And so I can't say that all of my siblings had the same experience as I did, but we all definitely have an understanding and an appreciation for the culture of our family, and that's what makes it special. My dad used to say that a family was like the first church and the first school and the first hospital and the first court and the first jail and the first choir and the first team. The family was sort of like the basic unit of everything, and then you grew out of that, and I think that that's been true for us.
- [11:50]
A
This is beautiful. Oh, I love hearing about all the ways that you've all been there for each other and created a world where everybody belongs and feels supported and taken care of in your big family. When you look at the world today, are there any big families that you look at and you smile about and think, oh, yeah, that brings Back memories, you know, either celebrity families or fictional ones.
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B
I don't see very many big families today, do you?
- [12:20]
A
I mean, I do, but it seems like they're mostly very rich people and celebrities nowadays. It almost feels like a big, A big family is almost a way to demonstrate to the world how affluent you are or how famous you are nowadays.
- [12:35]
B
Yeah. And that was just the opposite, you know, back in the day. I mean, my family, you know, was a big Irish Catholic family. Everybody. I mean, we weren't even a big family relative to some of the other families that I knew. There was one family down the street that had 17 kids, so we never saw the mother. I, I don't know what was going on.
- [12:56]
A
That poor mom, but, but she must have been very tired.
- [12:59]
B
Families were a thing. Yeah, yeah, but, but I don't, I don't see big families today. And, and I think you're right. It's, it's prohibitive economically, I think, to have a big family these days. And, and plus people are getting married later and so, you know, and there's lots more economic pressures with having kids and working. So it's just different. And it's also different being the parent of a lot of kids than it is to be one of the kids in the family.
- [13:30]
A
Yeah, yeah. Going back to that family you mentioned with the 17 kids, you said you never saw the mom, but I wonder if the mom ever slept. I wonder if the mom was walking around like a zombie. It must have been exhausting being the mother to some.
- [13:43]
B
I mean, I can't even imagine it. Can't even imagine it. Yeah.
- [13:48]
A
It must have been so much work that.
- [13:50]
B
That sort of takes it to a different level than, than what I experienced.
- [13:53]
A
Yeah, yeah. It sounds like you had a great experience of a big family, but again, your family was about a third of the size of that other family, so.
- [14:02]
B
Yeah, right.
- [14:03]
A
Even though it was a big family. Yeah. Oh, I'll also say this about big family. Now, nowadays, I mentioned it being in some ways a demonstration of affluence and wealth and fame. Most of the people that I see in the news media nowadays who have big families, they also have a lot of help. Several nannies, cooks, administrative staff and so on. They're not doing what that mom with 17 kids was doing in your neighborhood. They, you know.
- [14:32]
B
No way. Yeah. And in fact, I think one of the things about being in a big family is that you really develop a lot of self reliance because our parents didn't have a lot of time for us all the time. And so I was babysitting my younger siblings, and my twin brother taught me math because I was struggling. And we helped each other out in ways that maybe they don't do today. So we had to rely on one another a lot.
- [15:05]
A
And also, I imagine you had to learn early on the importance of sharing. Maybe you have to share right now. Yeah, maybe you're not going to get Daddy all to yourself at this moment. Or maybe I'm not going to enjoy this one toy all to myself. Maybe I have to share it with a sibling.
- [15:21]
B
Yeah, I had to share my birthday because I had a twin. I came into the world sharing, but it's, you know. And I am romanticizing it to some degree because I'm very nostalgic about it. But mostly it was good. I mean, there were certainly struggles, and when you have a lot of kids, there was chaos and fighting and things like that, but mostly it was good, and I appreciate it now as an adult.
- [15:58]
A
I think that can be the case with a lot of things when we're growing up. It can have its tough moments, but with a little bit of time and perspective, we can look back with appreciation on things.
- [16:07]
B
Right, right, right, exactly. Exactly. So did you have a big family or are you in a small family?
- [16:15]
A
Oh, I had kind of a mix because I have an older sister and me. But then my parents got divorced, and my mom's second husband had three kids, and my dad's second wife had two kids. And so suddenly, every household I was in, there were always at least four kids in the house. So.
- [16:34]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [16:36]
A
So everything kind of doubled. And funnily enough, my mom, when she married my stepdad, his three kids, two of them had the same name as me and my sister, so we were doubled up with names.
- [16:49]
B
Oh, talk about sharing.
- [16:53]
A
Yes, yes, yes. So I've had a little bit of both experiences, but then I had this other experience altogether because I was the baby of the family. There was a point when I was a teenager where everybody was gone and it was just me. So I was essentially an only child for all of high school.
- [17:12]
B
Right. And my youngest sister will say the same thing, that she felt like she was an only child near the end because everybody had vanished. And so she got a completely different experience than the rest of us.
- [17:24]
A
Oh, I imagine so. And I imagine the oldest in your family must have had the same thing where they went from being an only child to suddenly being kind of the, you know, kind of the head kid in charge of a giant brood of kids, right?
- [17:41]
B
Yeah. We used to call my oldest brother, the king of the little kids, because we would just, we would all follow him around and, and he would organize the games.
- [17:49]
A
So, yeah, I bet he both loved that and was irritated by it.
- [17:54]
B
Yeah, I'm sure he was. Yes, I'm sure he was.
- [18:01]
A
Well, Peggy, this has been such a joy, hearing your memories of growing up in your big family and also getting a peek into what your family is like now and how you're all there for each other and support each other. And you really painted a beautiful picture that I think will have a lot of listeners thinking about their own families tonight as they go off to sleep. So thank you so much, Peggy. We really appreciate it.
- [18:23]
B
Well, Kristin, thank you for just being a listening ear and for ending my day on such a positive note. Thank you.
- [18:31]
A
Well, sleep tight in your pillow fort this evening and have sweet dreams and good night to all of you out there. We hope that your pillow fort is cozy tonight. We hope that you have sweet dreams. And regardless of the size of your family, whether it's you, you and a pet, you and lots of other people, good night to all of you and have a restful evening. We'll see you next time on the nightly. And if you want to join us on the show, don't hesitate to reach out. We're at the nightlyatch Co. Good night, everyone. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch Co. You can also follow us at Hatch Podcasts.