B (2:38)

Very funny.

A (2:39)

Really enjoyed it. He's absolutely brilliant.

B (2:41)

I met him. We were both really young when we were both still in Boston. And so I've known him for, like, I don't know, 20 years.

A (2:49)

Seems like a really lovely guy. Seems like a normal, normal person.

B (2:53)

There's this bit, I forget if it's on the new special, but he did a set with Don't Tell comedy that's online, that is, you know, watch it in the morning, folks, once you're back up and about getting into your day, where he talks about not knowing when Picasso was alive and thinking it was like the 1400s, when it was like the. The mid-1900s, and just realizing, like, Picasso was alive for three Super Bowls or whatever.

A (3:27)

Again, that's so. Because that's exactly the thought that I've had. I have exactly the same thought, but it's. Yeah, it's frustrating. That's a great comedian.

B (3:36)

It's such a comfort being, like, okay with portraying yourself as someone who likes. Doesn't know something that might otherwise be obvious to other people. Right. Like the humility of, like, I'm going to be revealing of myself in this way in hopes that people relate to it rather than judge me for it. Because I think everybody has something that is, like a pretty bold, you know, easily accessible fact that is just, like, not accessible to them. I have tons of that.

A (4:07)

Yeah. And that, actually, Josh, is a brilliant segue into what we're doing tonight, which is a round of Drowsy History.

B (4:23)

This will be perfect because I am very drowsy and I barely remember anything.

A (4:28)

And if you've not listened before, that is exactly the premise of Drowsy History. It's sort of like a history class, but absolutely not accurate and hopefully reasonably entertaining.

B (4:39)

Yeah. Please don't take notes on this. Just let it wash over you and take kind of the general historical vibe of what we're doing. Settle in.

A (4:48)

That's it. Yeah, it's a feeling. It's a feeling. It's nothing more than that.

B (4:52)

Feelings of history.

A (4:55)

So, Josh, it's the late 1700s.

B (5:00)

Great.

A (5:01)

And there is a ship called HMS Bounty. That's English ship, obviously. Her Majesty's ship. Bounty. It's not a huge ship, not like a massive pirate galley or anything, just a. Just a reasonably sized wooden boat. And William Bligh is the captain. Now, he's either painted in history as a real tyrant or as just a bit of a kind of strict leader. Either like the devil or just a bit of a nightmare boss.

B (5:35)

It's hard to know where that line is sometimes, isn't it?

A (5:39)

Just. And then when it gets so far in history and people, you know, it gets passed down generations. It probably started off as William Bly's is a little bit difficult to make small talk with. And then you give it 200 years and it's like William Blyers, the worst person I ever met in my life.

B (5:55)

One of the greatest monsters in history. Yeah.

A (5:57)

So I reckon it's somewhere in between, basically. And William Bligh and the rest of HMS Bounty are sent on a mission to Tahiti where they are to collect breadfruit plants, which is a. It's a long way to go for fruit. Have you had breadfruit before?

B (6:16)

Yeah, I don't think I've ever had breadfruit.

A (6:18)

Neither have I. It's not really caught on, has it?

B (6:21)

It's certainly not where I live. No, you're not finding it on every street corner. It does sound appealing.

A (6:29)

It does, yeah. I wonder how much of that is to do with this mission that it's not caught because nobody. Yeah. It's not like no one has like overnight oats with blueberries and breadfruit. Yeah. I don't even know what it's good for.

B (6:40)

No, me either. I'm just picturing a fruitcake.

A (6:43)

Yeah. Which if it is fruitcake, I'd go to Tahiti to get fruitcake. I love a bit of fruitcake. So this is Tahiti breadfruit. Bounty's on the way. It's the British Empire as a whole. Have said, look, we need you to go and grab us some of this

B (7:00)

fruit and Long grocery run for Her Majesty.

A (7:04)

Long old grocery run. And it's not for the essentials either. This is like just for the. It's for the weird extra stuff.

B (7:12)

The kind of grocery run it feels like you would do maybe for someone who is pregnant.

A (7:16)

Yeah, yeah. The Queen had some. Or the King at this point had some really odd cravings.

B (7:21)

Yeah. You go, oh, sure, I'll go to. I love you so much. I'll go to Tahiti to get your breadfru.

A (7:28)

So it's months, obviously.

B (7:30)

Yeah.

A (7:30)

England to Tahiti. Long way when you're just being powered by the wind. So it's all salted me. It's miserable, isn't it? It's damp, sweaty, you've got no privacy. Just this wooden boat load of other blokes knocking around for months on end. Then they get to Tahiti and it's amazing. It's like a sandals holiday. Like just beaches, sea.

B (7:57)

Were they well received by the people of Tahiti or were they like, what are you doing here?

A (8:02)

They were okay. Yeah. Weirdly, they all. They got on really? Well, because the crew of the Bounty

B (8:09)

bought stuff, but like a cultural exchange. They're like, oh, we got something for you. And then we gotta go home with some good breadfruit.

A (8:15)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're there for, like, I don't know how long they're there for, but long enough to get used to sitting about on a beach, going in the sea, just having a really chilled, nice life.

B (8:31)

Sounds so much better than being on that boat.

A (8:33)

So much better. And that is where the problems lie, Josh, because it is infinitely better than being on the boat. So when Captain Bligh says, right, time to go, which is obviously, I mean, that's going to be one of the least popular sentences you could ever speak, isn't it?

B (8:50)

Yeah. Time to leave Tahiti, get back on our wooden ship and bring a bunch of plants home to the king.

A (8:57)

Yeah. So they. I mean, they do it. They get on the boat and they. They set off into the sea, which is when a big portion of the crew, led by a man called Fletcher Christian, decide that they don't actually want to leave Tahiti. They would much rather stay in the tropical paradise and not get back on the boat for months. So Fletcher Christian and the other mutineers take control of the ship while William Bly is asleep. So there's no cannon fire, like, no sword fight. They literally. I think they just tied him up. The captain.

B (9:35)

Pretty clean work.

A (9:36)

Really good. Yeah. I mean, really impressive, actually. Just went into his cabin and just done.

B (9:42)

How much, like, what percentage of the crew do we know? Is it, like, most of the crew is like, yeah, we're not going back. We got to get off this boat post haste.

A (9:51)

That is an excellent question, actually. I would say, based on what happens later on, I reckon there's about 40 people who are against it. Okay, maybe about the same who were for it.

B (10:03)

Okay, so. So it's a split. Split decision.

A (10:06)

Roughly. An even split. Okay, that's what I'm gonna go with. And so they've got control of the ship. Daylight comes, and they put Captain Bly and his supporters in an open boat. So just like a rowing boat.

B (10:22)

Yep.

A (10:22)

They give him. They put a sail on it. So they've got a sail, they've got oars, they've got a couple of big barrels of water, couple of barrels of meat. So I think it's enough for like, a month maybe.

B (10:37)

Okay.

A (10:38)

They shove them off. So Captain Bly and his crew just get pushed off, and they're just out in this boat, and the mutineers head back to Tahiti.

B (10:48)

I will say, if I'm a mutineer, the polite thing to do, I think, would be to take the little boat and go back. And you leave them the big boat to go where they gotta go.

A (11:01)

It's a great point. The thing is with mutineers, Josh,

B (11:06)

go on.

A (11:07)

They haven't got the interests of the Captain at heart, etc.

B (11:11)

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

A (11:13)

And so if the opportunity to have a big boat is on the table, they're gonna take the big boat.

B (11:18)

They're going big boat.

A (11:19)

Yeah, they're gonna go big boat, which

B (11:20)

is the superior boat. I acknowledge. I, too, would want the big boat.

A (11:25)

But I get the feeling with you, Josh, you're such a nice person, I think you probably would. You would leave the big boat and you'd just say, I'll just. If I'll just swim it, I'll just swim back.

B (11:34)

Well, I'd take the little one. I'd say, you guys get further to go. You gotta get all this breadfruit back to the homeland.

A (11:40)

And me, you've got further to go.

B (11:42)

Yeah, me and my crew, we're just kind of. We're just making a U turn right here, heading back to the beach.

A (11:48)

Yeah. Well, actually, here's a point. I think one of the reasons they did decide to take the big boat is because long term, the idea was that once we go back to Tahiti, eventually we will have to leave there and find another island, because otherwise it'll be easy for the British Navy to find us on this island.

B (12:08)

Okay. All right. So they're. They're not just retiring. They're like. We're deserters, essentially, I think.

A (12:15)

Yeah. And we're gonna set up a new life.

B (12:16)

And now we're fugitives. Got it? Okay.

A (12:19)

Yeah.

B (12:19)

So I see why you go big boat.

A (12:21)

So Captain Bly sets off into the open ocean, and he hasn't got anything to navigate with, apart from, I think he's got a compass and he's got the stars.

B (12:31)

Wow.

A (12:32)

And this is the remarkable thing. He sails this open boat for three and a half thousand miles and eventually makes it back to England.

B (12:44)

Wow.

A (12:45)

Yeah. Which is incredible. Where he then recounts the story to the Admiralty and the rest of the Navy, and they set off to go and look for the mutineers. So while that's going on, the mutineers have gone back to Tahiti. Some of them end up on an island. So they leave Tahiti and go to Pitcairn island, which is a super green quiet, like it's so out the way. I don't think it's even on maps at this point.

B (13:12)

Wow.

A (13:13)

So you wouldn't. You wouldn't find them. Long story short, they look for the mutineers. They don't find any, or they find a couple in Tahiti, I think, and they decide to let them off. And then it transpires that, yeah, the other ones are in Pitcairn Island. They're never found. And to this day, there is descendants on Pit. I think all the. All the inhabitants of Pitcairn Island, I think, are all descendants of mutineers from HMS Bounty.

B (13:42)

I didn't know about that. Wow.

A (13:44)

Well, I could be wrong.

B (13:45)

You've got. Yeah, sure, we're very sleepy. You've got to think, if you leave your captain in a rowboat, you take the big boat, the hms, you go back to the island that you aren't supposed to be on, and then he comes back, like, years later. That's gonna be one of the worst feelings when you see him.

A (14:09)

Oh, can you imagine just seeing that? The same, like, yeah, that ship coming over the horizon and the bad boss.

B (14:20)

It reminds me of one of my favorite street jokes, which I think I read in Drew Carey's book, like, years and years ago. But it's like a guy sitting on his couch, and here's a tiny knock at the door at the front door to his house, and he opens the door, and there's a snail knocking on the door. He takes the snail and he just throws it as far as he can. He's like, get out of here, snail. Then seven years later, the same guy sitting on the same couch, here's another tiny knock on the door. He opens the door, there's a tiny snail shaking his fist. The guy picks up the snail, holds him up to his ears and goes, hey, man, what the hell was that all about?

A (15:08)

It's such a good joke that. Do you know what's really weird? I was literally talking about that because when I'm on the road, there's obviously Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights. There's a lot of comedians on the road. And to keep each other company, we always phone each other and just. Just talk for, like, three or four hours while we're driving. And I was literally, not two days ago, talking to a mate of mine about that joke and about other. Other jokes like that, because there's so many variations of it.

B (15:36)

Yeah.

A (15:36)

You know, you can slightly change, like, how long the gap is what the snail says afterwards. And everyone's got their own sort of their little Touch on it, which I love. I love jokes like that.

B (15:48)

Yeah, me too. It's just like so funny to tell a joke about a mad snail.

A (15:53)

It's. It's great. It's such a funny visual.

B (15:55)

Yeah, I love it.

A (15:56)

So. Well, there you go, Josh. That's. That's Mutiny on the Bounty.

B (16:00)

That's a good. So I knew of that story, but I didn't know any of the specifics. I just knew there was a bounty, there was a mutiny, and I didn't know any of the rest of it. So I'm very. Thank you for enlightening me.

A (16:14)

It's absolutely my pleasure. And hopefully you all got something from that. Hopefully I got most of it right. It's a great story.

B (16:22)

Great story. Yeah. I like the idea that it was split that evenly. And obviously Captain Bly was probably not happy about being tied up and sent out to sea, but like the fact that the other half of the. Or however many supporters, they just kind of went, you got us. You know what? Que sera, sera. Yeah.

A (16:45)

It would have been a real roller coaster, I think, for Captain Bly in terms of his ego. Because one minute you are getting tied up and locked in your own cabin. Not great. And you're getting put in a boat and sent out to sea. But all those people that are coming with you, they've got the option to go to a sort of paradise island and live out the rest of the days in a wonderful place. And they decided to come and hang

B (17:14)

out with you on a tiny boat. Thousands. You gotta go thousands of miles with just like nothing good going on, no amenities, and you're. And you're like a maniac. Instead of going, you know what? I see their point. I'm gonna see things their way. And maybe we hang out in the tropics, we find a place where we're not gonna bother anybody. We just enjoy ourselves. Instead he was like, I gotta get home and I get a snitch. Yeah.

A (17:40)

Yeah. You gotta admire that. We've gotta get back to Britain, back to salted meats and poverty, and find those people trying to do the best for themselves.

B (17:49)

Yep. And not only that, we're gonna go and then we're turning back around to dole out some discipline. Gosh, wow, this guy. I don't think I would have liked to hang out with him, but I like knowing that there's somebody out there that just cares so much about his breadfruit mission.

A (18:06)

Yeah, totally bear in mind as well that's it's a three month journey. Yeah. Like that You've really got to hold a grudge for. Like, someone cut me up on the road a couple of days ago and it really, really annoyed me for about 45 seconds. But imagine if three months later I was still going, I am going to find that guy. It kills me. I'm going to get him.

B (18:27)

Yeah. I'm going to get a new car. Yeah, because you took my car and go back for him. And to navigate by a compass and the stars in a rowboat is so impressive. Whenever anyone can navigate by the stars, I'm impressed because the only place I can get by looking at the stars is the sky. I go, that's for sure. Up. That's the direction.

A (18:51)

Yeah, that's so true. I reckon I could get the north. Stars are pretty.

B (18:56)

I could probably go north by the North Star. But I don't know because they couldn't have just been like, oh, thank goodness it's just due north from here.

A (19:07)

That would have been a real happy coincidence, that, wouldn't it?

B (19:10)

Like, we just.

A (19:11)

Yeah, that's the only way that we're surviving. If we've got to go directly north.

B (19:15)

Oh, we're just going straight up and down on the map.

A (19:18)

And we'd be doing that for four hours until we realize it's an aeroplane. Yep. Yeah. Good job. We've not got to do that, thank goodness.

B (19:26)

In fact, our only obligation is to get to bed. And I know how to get there even without the stars. So. Good night. I'm gonna. I'm gonna turn in. Good night, Matt. Talk to you soon.

A (19:38)

Good night, Sa. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch co. You can also follow us. HatchPodcasts.