Please Don’t Make Me Say "Nom Nom Nom"

Summary

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The Nightly: "Please Don’t Make Me Say 'Nom Nom Nom'"

Podcast: The Nightly
Host: Hatch Podcasts
Date: May 4, 2026
Featured Hosts: Matt Bragg ("A") & KP Parker ("B")

Episode Overview

This edition of The Nightly finds co-hosts Matt Bragg and KP Parker winding down with an offbeat, often hilarious conversation about pawn shops, reality TV tropes, and the sometimes humiliating world of auditioning and commercial work. Their candid, gently self-deprecating humor taps into that special late-night energy—when small grievances feel huge, and absurdities get even more absurd.

At the heart of the episode: KP’s “nom nom nom” trauma from a recent commercial gig, plus both hosts’ deep skepticism about the authenticity of reality pawn and storage shows. Sprinkled throughout are jokes about actor “types,” the indignities of self-taping, and the strange specificities of entertainment industry emails.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pawn Shops and TV Sensationalism

• Matt and KP open with a discussion about pawn shops and pawn-centric reality TV shows like Pawn Stars and Storage Wars.
  • Matt asks KP about personal pawn shop experiences and laughs at the confusion between “pawn” and “porn.” (00:47)
  • KP recalls visiting a pawn shop with a sibling for a guitar, noting real-life shops are nothing like what you see on TV (“old electronics… digital cameras… jewelry”)—and that online resale sites (eBay, Vinted) have removed much of their utility. (01:48)
  • Both agree that shows like Pawn Stars and Storage Wars are heavily staged: “I think they put all of that stuff in the storage unit and then they close it up and pretend it's been seized.” (KP, 05:16)
  • The reality of most storage units: “99.9% of people's storage unit is like, old T shirts.” (Matt, 05:28)

2. KP’s Audition and Commercial Grievances

• Matt segues into a heartfelt annoyance with casting calls—especially those that don’t fit.

  • Matt relays how his “auntie” (more of a family connection-by-marriage) sent him a lucrative casting call… for a “portly Japanese man.” (07:49)
    • “Either she didn't read it properly before she sent it me, which is a bit annoying... Or she does think I resemble a portly Japanese man.” (Matt, 08:05)
  • KP sympathizes, relating this to their own rounds of typecasting, and the confusion of being thought fit for wildly different roles.

• “Nom Nom Nom” Commercial Story

  • KP recounts the agony of an ice cream commercial (“Oreo Brookie Crumble”) where the script kept changing for the worse. Eventually she was forced to say, multiple times, “Nom nom nom nom nom,” while shaking her head for the camera. (10:36-12:45)
    • “I floated above my body, and I said out loud, ‘This is humiliating… you’re hurting me by doing this.’” (KP, 11:47)
    • “Could you shake your head even more on the nom nom noms?”—KP mimicking direction (12:09)
    • “I struggled to look myself in the eye in the mirror the next day.” (KP, 13:19)
  • Matt is incredulous—“I’ve got so much respect.” (12:30)
  • The pair riff on how commercials try (and fail) to sound Gen Z: “It’s just taking Gen Z speak and then shoving it into this commercial and then ending with me nomming.” (KP, 12:55)
  • Happily, neither host has seen KP’s “nom nom nom” spot air.

3. The Ridiculousness of Acting, Self-Tapes & Industry Jargon

• Matt and KP poke fun at what actors are asked to do.
  • Matt laments being typecast as a “thick burglar” on a Crime Watch re-enactment (“thick” meaning “stupid,” not “large”), and how embarrassing certain auditions can be—such as laughing joyously at soup for a commercial. (09:10; 10:00)
  • KP shares a general disdain for auditions requiring exaggerated, silent “jamming out” in a car. (15:54)
    • “The ones without words are truly the worst… I'm humiliating myself.” (KP, 15:54)
  • Both praise actors who can do these with unbreakable self-confidence, and joke about how stand-up and performance is always embarrassing anyway. (16:46)

4. Showbiz Admin and the ‘Business’ Side

• A brief grumbling session about industry meetings.
  • Matt: “I am literally—I am a clown. I don't want to talk about anything serious.” (14:28)
  • KP: “Way more business before I got there. It really isn't fun… You wish you could just show up and get paid a bunch, make people laugh and go home.” (14:47)

5. The Strangeness of Podcasting Habits

• Matt brings up his own repetitive podcast opening—struggling to change his catchphrase (“All right”) and joking about alternate intros (“Howdy, y’all,” “Nom nom nom”).
  • KP: “There’s no way to say that and come out with your dignity. There’s no way.” (17:50)
  • The conversation winds down with both feigning gravitas about “hitting the hay”—a line neither would say in real life but is oddly fitting for late-night podcast lulls. (18:38–19:05)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Reality TV Sensationalism:
  “99.9% of people's storage unit is like, old T shirts.”
  —Matt (05:28)

• On Commercial Auditions:
  “The line was this Oreo Brookie crumble ate and left zero Brookie crumbs. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. And they said, you have to say nom nom nom. And I said, I really would prefer not to.”
  —KP (11:07)

• On Humiliation in Acting:
  “I floated above my body, and I said out loud, ‘This is humiliating because I just was like, please, you're hurting me by doing this.’”
  —KP (11:47)

• On Showbiz Meetings:
  "I am literally, I am a clown. Yeah, that's… Like. I don't want to talk about anything serious."
  —Matt (14:28)

• On Authenticity and Self-tapes:
  "The ones without words are truly the worst… I'm humiliating myself just like, yeah, yeah, yeah."
  —KP (15:54)

• On Embarrassing Catchphrases:
  “Nom nom nom. Yeah. That's horrible, isn't it? It's really horrible.”
  —Matt (17:46)

• Perfect Sign-off:
  “It was lovely noming around with you, Matt. Have a great evening.”
  —KP (19:09)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:47 – Pawn shop stories, reality vs. TV
• 04:35 – How reality TV stages “big finds”
• 06:16 – Matt’s casting call annoyance
• 10:30 – KP's humiliating “nom nom nom” ice cream ad
• 13:42 – Matt and KP mock their own dignity, acting jobs
• 14:25 – The grind of industry admin
• 15:54 – Awkward self-tapes and commercial auditions
• 17:15 – Podcast catchphrases and the agony of forced intros
• 19:02 – Whimsical sign-off, “nom nom” callback

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Tone & Style

The conversation is warm, funny, and self-effacing, perfectly pitched for a cozy bedtime dose of relatable comedian woes and weird industry moments. Matt and KP keep things light, poking affectionate fun at themselves, their industry, and the late-night foolishness we all feel sometimes.

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Missed the episode?
This summary gives you the laughs, the feels, and the late-night rambling camaraderie—minus the “nom nom nom” humiliation.

Transcript

[A]

Hello. You're about to drift into an episode of the Nightly, a podcast designed to help you unwind and relax. For the full phone free immersive light experience, visit Hatch Co. Enjoy. All right, I'm Mat.

[B]

And I'm kp. Welcome to the Nightly from Hatch, where your late night thoughts go to rest.

[A]

Kp, I gotta know something from your American brain.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Have you ever been to a pawn shop?

[B]

Oh, pawn porn.

[A]

Yeah, porn as in P A W, N. Got it. Be absolutely clear about that.

[B]

Great. I was like, wow, what an intimate question. I thought was a different question. I have been to a pawn shop. Yeah, I think so. I went in with my sibling. They were trying to buy a guitar that they saw in the window and there was a good deal on it. So we went around and poked around, but it does. I don't spend a lot of time in there. It seems as if I don't know people that go in there a lot.

[A]

Basically, I've been watching a lot of porn stars.

[B]

That's an incredible show.

[A]

I love it so much.

[B]

It's a really incredible show. Yeah.

[A]

And it's taken over my entire algorithm everywhere. So I'm watching. I mean, even just before this, you're looking at top 10 holy grails.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, all that sort of stuff. Was there anything like that when you. Or is that like a proper sensationalized pawn shop?

[B]

I definitely think it's sensationalized for views. Because mostly what you're finding at a regular pawn shop in your town is like, old electronics, a lot of just like digital cameras, camcorders, just different electronics and then jewelry. There is a good amount of jewelry, but I don't know anyone that is like, ah, I need a new necklace. Let me go hit the pawn shop.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

That would be an odd thing to go to.

[A]

And I suppose it's rarely like Jimi Hendrix's guitar. Like, that's not going to go into your random corner pawn shop, is it?

[B]

No, but it is. Because usually I'd say, you know, people that are selling things to pawn shops, it's like, I just want it out of my house. Just this guy will pay me a little bit of money and just take it from me. But I'd say that that whole idea has become so ebay, like, you know, you can sell it online pretty easy. All the things you want to get right.

[A]

Vinted is done for pawn shops, hasn't it?

[B]

That's what I was thinking is I think pawn shops perhaps used to be a little more helpful to the community, is like, okay, this is just stuff because you have a lot of consignment clothing stores, but you don't have a lot of just items and jewelry and instruments. But I think that ebay has. Or Vinted has done away a little bit with just random items you might want.

[A]

It doesn't have the same in person browsing though on ebay or Vinted, which I have to say, I do. I do love that.

[B]

I know. And yeah, there's just something tactile. You like looking at the shoes. They do have a good amount of shoes at pawn shops, I'd say. And instruments and TVs. Yeah. But I think I would imagine some of those, if not all of those pawn shop owners and employees are putting all of those things online also.

[A]

That's very true. Yeah, I bet they do. Well, that was my first question this evening. Second question. Have you ever been to an adult entertainment shop?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think online did away with those too. You have charity shops over there, but nothing that's really like if you wanted to sell your old, you know, digital camera.

[A]

Yeah, there are some, but it's not like, I don't know, it doesn't feel as big a thing like they exist. But you would never have like a UK porn stars because it would literally just be like, you know, a PlayStation 5 controller or like they try and

[B]

make that really dramatic. Yeah, I think this one. I think this one's very sensationalized too. I think they cast based on things that are selling online. So it's like if somebody was selling Jimi Hendrix guitar already online, they're like, hey, do you want to try and sell this in person?

[A]

Oh, I see.

[B]

And we'll pay for you to fly out. I'm pretty sure that it's cheated.

[A]

That makes a lot of sense, actually.

[B]

They find the cool items and then they ask the owner if you want to sell it on TV show.

[A]

And then I guess once you've done that for a couple of series, then people who have got cool stuff think I could just go down and get on telly for a bit of fun.

[B]

And where is. That's Vegas, isn't it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, there's definitely characters in Vegas already probably trying to sell some cool entertainment stuff. But if I'm not mistaken, it's a little. And I think they cheat the show Storage wars too, which is like, oh, yeah, for sure. Another classic show of ours.

[A]

I do love Storage wars as well.

[B]

That's a really fun one.

[A]

It really is.

[B]

I think they put all of that stuff in the. You Know, storage unit, and then they close it up and then they pretend it's been seized.

[A]

Yeah, it just. It can't be, can it? There's no way.

[B]

It's just bizarre stuff all the time. And I'm like, 99.9% of people's storage unit is like, old T shirts.

[A]

Well, yeah. The stuff that I put in my garage, stuff I don't want or need.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It's not like I'm like, ah, I'm gonna get around to this underwater gem that I found. I might as well just put it here and then forget about it. It's just not what I usually does. So those are. I think they find the cool item and then bring them out to Vegas. And I've heard that when they actually buy it, like 90% of the time they're not actually buying it, they're just throwing out a number and then they're like, okay, thank you for coming. They don't actually. The pawn shop doesn't keep it.

[A]

Yeah, I can imagine that. I mean, I would love. I would love to be cast in something like that because I want to get something off my chest. Kp, I had something that really annoyed me this week.

[B]

Kay. A grievance, please.

[A]

My auntie sent me a message. She's tangentially linked to the entertainment industry.

[B]

Nepo aunt.

[A]

So she was nothing to. She's also not tech. No, she is. She is related, but she's not my aunt. But it's a long story. She married into. She married an actor anyway, because she married an actor, she has access to various casting emails that go out. And she sent one to me, which, in fact, you know what? I'm gonna find the actual message. Just to get the wording of this. It's basically what they were looking for was a comedic actor.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Which, you know, I could do that.

[B]

I'd describe that. Yeah.

[A]

I'd back myself today and she said, I saw this today with casting agency redacted, looking for comedic actors. Thought of you, sunshine. Big love, as always.

[B]

Very sweet.

[A]

Very sweet. I'll just read this out to you. Six grand, couple of days work. Not bad.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Flights, hotel, all expenses covered to go out to Japan.

[B]

Oh, my goodness, What a treat.

[A]

12 hour shoot days. Not great, but not bad. 50 pound a day per diem for food.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Ideal candidate is a portly Japanese man.

[B]

Okay, so maybe some of you haven't seen Matt.

[A]

I guess.

[B]

Audio only. That is not exactly what you look like.

[A]

I was trying to figure out where the anger was coming From. Because it's either she didn't read it properly before she sent it me, which is a bit annoying because I got quite excited about that because I thought, 6,000.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

Or she does think I resemble a portly Japanese man.

[B]

In. In. In her defense, they said, ideal candidate is a portly Japanese man. Maybe it was like, okay, we have two directions for this character. It's either a portly Japanese man or it's, you know, regular guy from Britain. Could that be good?

[A]

It's quite the 180, isn't it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's got to be a pretty flexible script.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You'd think that you wouldn't match what they were looking for.

[A]

So that's just that gone. That opportunity out the window.

[B]

It hurts when you want it. When you want it bad.

[A]

I've never even. I've never got any sort of casting. I got asked in for an audition genuinely for Crime Watch reconstruction once.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Looked a bit like a burglar.

[B]

That's pretty good. Ski mask on your face the whole time.

[A]

Well, this particular burglar was thick.

[B]

Okay. So why do we. We keep getting you a lot of portly rules.

[A]

Oh, no. Thick as in stupid.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Not thick as in stature.

[B]

Okay. I was like, what? Where are these coming from?

[A]

It was thick with a CK rather than two Cs.

[B]

Okay, okay, got it.

[A]

But I. I genuinely had that conversation with my agent where I said, no. And he was like, but it got. It's on BBC1 at prime time and it's not a bad fee. And I said, yes, but people think I'm a burglar.

[B]

Let's think about the bigger picture here.

[A]

Yeah. I want a career after Crime Watch.

[B]

Yes. I have to do things after this. Yeah. There is a. There's some that I just feel very, very silly doing where it's like, okay, the direction is, look at your bowl of soup and laugh and then take a bite. And you're like, I don't even want to do this. I don't want to forget it. I don't want to laugh at a spoon of soup. I just. Because it's for, you know, some dumb commercial where you have to laugh at soup or something. And I'm like, I feel I'm alone in my home. This is humiliating.

[A]

How do you get past that? What would be your tips? Because you've done way more of that kind of stuff than I have.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I'd like to share. I'll redact the name, but this can be my grievance. I did a commercial for an ice cream chain, and they brought me on site, and they had the script beforehand, and it was pretty normal. It was like, oh, you know, it's. You know, I love this ice cream. Let's say it was just that, you know, it was simple. And I said, all right, this will be. This will be pretty good. No worries. I get on, and they start changing the script, and it turns so bad that I floated outside of my body. And I said, you just have to get through this. Because the line was this Oreo Brookie crumble ate and left zero Brookie crumbs. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. And they said, you have to say nom nom nom. And I said, I really would prefer not to. I was like, please, please don't make me say that. And they were like, no, it's like, you know, really get in there and shake your head like you're really eating it. Like you're really. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

And I floated above my body, and I said out loud. I said, this is humiliating because I just was like, please, you're hurting me. You're hurting me by doing this. And they were like, it's so funny. You're doing good. Because they were like, comedians. They'll do anything. It seemed that was their thought process.

[A]

Unfortunately, they're not wrong.

[B]

No. And I did it, and they were like, yeah, could you shake your head even more on the nom nom noms? I was like, sure thing. I just had to float above myself and get it done.

[A]

Oh, wow. So did this air anywhere?

[B]

I have not seen it, and maybe my friends saw it and they were being really kind to me to not send it to me, but I've never. I haven't seen it.

[A]

Wow. I just. I've got so much respect.

[B]

Ate and left zero Brookie crumbs. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. The noms, I mean, already ate and left zero Brookie crumbs is really hard. I already don't want to say that.

[A]

What was the first line again?

[B]

This Oreo cookie crumble is so good. It ate and left zero Brookie crumbs.

[A]

It ate. What does that mean?

[B]

I mean, it's total nonsense. It's just taking Gen Z speak and then shoving it into this commercial and then ending with me nomming.

[A]

That's not Gen Z. They wouldn't enjoy that.

[B]

No. Well, I mean, every. The people on Set were not gender.

[A]

Oh, no. Did you. Did you feel it from the other were people. Did they struggle to look you in the eye while you. Nom Nom.

[B]

No, they loved it. They loved it.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I struggled to look myself in the eye in the mirror the next day.

[A]

I bet. Yeah.

[B]

No disrespect said I don't. I don't know you. Yeah, that was. And then there was another part of the commercial or different part that they filmed and was quite normal and nice and everyone was very sweet and you know, I would probably do it again but that was my. It was a low point to Nom nom nom.

[A]

I mean, don't get me wrong, for the right fee, which is less than you think I would do it.

[B]

We're a cheap get us. Yes. Just if you're looking for a portly Japanese man or a Nom nom Nom. Er. Here we are.

[A]

Yes, exactly. All the credentials. I tell you what does annoy me about stuff like that. While we're on the subject of being annoyed about stuff. Show business generally. I had to have like a meeting last week just about, you know, like the business side of things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

God, I can't stand it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I am literally, I am a clown. Yeah, that's. That's where the. Like. I don't want to talk about anything serious.

[B]

It's so not the fun part.

[A]

But then that's how you end up having to nom nom because you've got no one legally talked.

[B]

Way more business before I got there. It really isn't fun. It's. You wish you could just show up and get paid a bunch, make people laugh and go home and usually on a good day that is what we get to do.

[A]

But on a good day, yeah, there's

[B]

a lot of annoying little emails and everything in between.

[A]

What other adverts have you done now? I'm curious, is there anything else that's stuck out to you that's a fun tagline or something that you've done?

[B]

Not too much on the real commercials side because I find that they do take a lot of time because you have to audition and then you got to get callbacks and then you show up and then you do the filming. It's a lot of time for. For commercials that I think sometimes I'm like, it's not exactly. It's not exactly, you know, I just don't like self taping that much. I'm annoying about it, but I've only

[A]

ever done that once and I had exactly the Same. The feeling that you had with that commercial is how I felt where I just. It wasn't even anything embarrassing to say, but just the fact that I was saying it on my own in my office just made me feel sick to my stomach.

[B]

The ones without words are truly the worst. Like, yeah, a girl. Just. All you need to do is for one to two minutes, film yourself being the passenger in a car jamming out to some music. And I'm like, I can't do that. I can't. I just am. I'm humiliating myself just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But God bless some people that just have a perfect, beautiful stamina and face for it. And like, they just are. I mean, it's incredible. I really respect. There are people that are just very, very good at self tapes and commercials. And it is not a skill to take lightly. It's great.

[A]

Oh, completely. It's that sort of unshakable inner self confidence as well, where I think, I'm not even embarrassed for you because I know you're not embarrassed. That's great.

[B]

And you shouldn't be. On a technical level. You absolutely shouldn't be. This is exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

[A]

No, of course not.

[B]

And it's all embarrassing. Everything I do and comedy is embarrassing anyway, so I shouldn't even be embarrassed. I'd say people are gonna watch my real live set and be like, yeah, that. You thought dancing in the car was embarrassing and not what you're doing currently on stage. Okay.

[A]

At least. At least it's. It's your decision. I think that makes a big difference, doesn't it?

[B]

Yes, absolutely. It does.

[A]

I do think even, you know, even when we record these episodes and I always say, as you know and have mentioned, I always say, all right at the start. All right, I'd love to change that up. I can't. I've tried it before. I've tried something else and it's made my toes curl and go, what are you? Who do you think you are?

[B]

Howdy, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Maybe try that.

[A]

Howdy, y'. All.

[B]

Oh, you could do Nom nom nom. I'm Matt.

[A]

Nom nom nom. Yeah. That's horrible, isn't it? It's really horrible.

[B]

There's no way to say that and come out with your dignity. There's no way.

[A]

I honestly, I feel so bad for you for that.

[B]

What I'm blessed is that I've never seen it. I'm really blessed. And I wonder if they could feel like as I was doing it I think a tear ran down my face, maybe. So they couldn't use the footage. That's my current theory is the footage never got used because they could tell I was minutes from throwing up.

[A]

I bet they didn't end up using any of it. I've seen that so many times where people make suggestions like that and they go, yeah, yeah, let's do that. And you know that it's not going to. That won't be the cut.

[B]

If you want, we'll. We'll give that a go. Well, well, well. That'll do.

[A]

Well, well, well, well.

[B]

Here we are.

[A]

I think it's about time we hit the hay. Can't even say that. That hurts me inside.

[B]

Hit the hay.

[A]

Because I know I wouldn't normally say that. I'd be a terrible actor. I really would.

[B]

You have to change every line. That's not me.

[A]

Kill the Batman. I would never say that.

[B]

I'd say have a long talk with him, like, get to know him.

[A]

But seriously, though, we should hit the hay.

[B]

We. It's so us to hit the hay. And that's what we're gonna do. It was lovely noming around with you, Matt. Have a great evening.

[A]

Pleasure as always. Night,

[B]

Sam. Sa. Sa.

[A]

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