B (2:50)

It is really nice to not have to go like, oh, geez. I guess I've got to create this schedule where I'm only accountable to myself and if I fail, I will feel bad and no one else will know the difference.

A (3:03)

That's the worst, isn't it? I am Simultaneously, the worst boss and the worst employee of all time. Just no discipline whatsoever.

B (3:12)

The whole corporate structure over here at Gondelman Enterprises is just top to bottom in need of a reorg.

A (3:20)

Yeah. HR Just. It's in the bin, but, yeah, this is great. I mean, it's always nice to be back here on a Sunday. How's the weather? I heard you've got a bit of a full spring. Is that. Is that.

B (3:33)

Yeah, they call it false spring or fake spring. It's been really, really beautiful. Like the kind of first days of, like, I'm gonna wear shorts. I'll still wear a sweatshirt, really? But, yeah, it's been getting up to about 70 Fahrenheit in New York, which is, like, very pleasant. And I think it's going to snow again next week. But we will. We'll figure that out when we. When we get there. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

A (4:05)

Nice. Have you. This is a very important question, Josh. Something that could either make or break a friendship.

B (4:13)

Yeah.

A (4:15)

Would you ever wear shorts on stage as a comedian?

B (4:21)

I don't think I have ever. I think the. The only exception I. I would personally make is an outdoor show in a park or something when it's very hot. But an indoor stage or even an outdoor stage that's like a theater amphitheater. I think I would go pants and just sweat it out. What about you?

A (4:42)

I've always liked you, Josh. It's the correct answer. I think that's the only. You've always. I think it's always gotta be pants. I think you're right, though. There is a place for it. If it's the height of summer, there's a heat wave and it's outdoors. There's an argument to be made if it's like a festival where you're there for a couple of days or whatever. But generally speaking, I've got a mate who's. He's just worn shorts inside at a club before. And, I mean, I couldn't even begin to broadcast some of the names that I called him. I just hated it. I don't wanna see your knees.

B (5:22)

I also, in part, though, whenever I see it, I'm like, God, to feel so free. I wish I could feel that free, but not maybe in that way. It's not like I wanna wear shorts that badly on stage. I certainly could.

A (5:35)

Well, yeah, but you can go back to the hotel and what you do in your own time, Josh.

B (5:40)

Even out on the town, I can wear shorts, walk in to get coffee or go into A museum. But once I get on stage, try to dress. Do you have like, a guideline for how you try to dress? Do you have, like a dress code for yourself on stage?

A (5:55)

Yes, I do. So I. I always got told as a young performer, you should always be one step up from the audience.

B (6:06)

So I think that's great.

A (6:07)

Yeah, one stage smarter. So if they're in, you know, jeans and a T shirt, you wear jeans in a shirt. You know, just one step up. And I do agree with that entirely. And I always take new shoes with me. I've got stage shoes. Cause I think having mucky shoes is just such a. No, no. Yeah, here's one for you. How do you feel about the general public trying to be funny?

B (6:35)

Okay. I think about this a lot. I do think a lot of people who are not professionally funny are very funny. And I think that's wonderful. Like, I think every comedian I know, I bet you have one at least have, like, friends that they grew up with where you go, that's the funniest person I've ever met. And they'll never, never get on stage.

A (6:59)

Yeah, completely.

B (7:01)

On the other hand, I do think that sometimes people who come to, like, an attempt at professional comedy without a community, you know, without coming through a scene, sometimes can make mistakes or somehow repeat tropes or whatever that you would not repeat if you came up under people who could go, hey, someone's already kind of done a thing like that. Or like, actually, this isn't super cool. I think sometimes you get the sense of like, oh, they. There's nobody to help and guide them because they're so solo.

A (7:40)

Yeah, I totally get that. Basically, I bring it up just because there's another one of these things that's happened recently when the government, or, I don't know, any sort of government adjacent entity want to name something and they go to the public. Oh, sure, get the public to name the thing.

B (8:01)

Yeah.

A (8:03)

Fraught with danger. Because the problem is, I think you do find people who are. Who are not funny but think they're really funny. And everyone in their life would agree that they're not funny, but they still think that they're very funny. It's the worst kind of person, and I think it attracts them. But there is actually, there's one in this list that made me laugh, so I thought I'd run them by you.

B (8:24)

Please. I would love this.

A (8:26)

It's the Met Office in the UK and they want to name some storms.

B (8:31)

Okay.

A (8:33)

And apparently the public has been able to suggest names every year since 2015. But only about 20 are usually chosen.

B (8:41)

Okay.

A (8:42)

I didn't even know that you could name storms, but apparently they were revealed by a Freedom of Information request to the Met Office. So got a few examples here. These are some that were put forward. So these weren't ultimately chosen. We'll get to those.

B (9:01)

Okay.

A (9:02)

Stormy McStormface.

B (9:04)

So this is the problem, right? This is the exact Boaty McBoatface thing of, like, it's been done. You know what I mean? Like, it's. It's a real. That's what she said situation where it's like, you can make anything. Anything make anything face. And there's a number of people that will be like, aha. I recognize that as a joke.

A (9:24)

Yeah. That's the one that really gets to me, is the something muck something phase.

B (9:28)

It's been done. It's over. It's dead.

A (9:30)

Yeah. Forget it. It's over. Keir Stormer. Not bad.

B (9:35)

Okay.

A (9:36)

Don't mind that David Blowy.

B (9:40)

Sounds a little too suggestive.

A (9:41)

Possibly some other connotations there.

B (9:43)

I think we go to the same place with that.

A (9:47)

I can see why that one hasn't been picked up. Similarly, I can see why the next one hasn't been picked up. Because it doesn't. On the face of it. I can't actually see a pun here.

B (9:58)

Okay.

A (9:59)

Storm. Prince Andrew.

B (10:01)

Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't think there's a pun at all. I think they're just like. We're putting two bad things together.

A (10:08)

Yeah. It's just a bit on the nose, that one. Bruce Springstorm.

B (10:13)

I like the attempt. I think we're trying something there.

A (10:16)

That was the one that I. I saw the cogs turning.

B (10:21)

I see the potential.

A (10:22)

Yeah, there's something there. Fifty Shades of Rain. Doesn't really work.

B (10:28)

Not quite there. Yeah.

A (10:30)

And Stormzy. Okay, but that. That is just.

B (10:35)

That's just his name.

A (10:36)

Stormzy.

B (10:37)

Yeah.

A (10:37)

Yeah. Yep. I don't think you can really have that. It's like having Gale Platt. That's such a. In fact, that wouldn't be a bad one. Gayle Platt is a character from Coronation Street.

B (10:52)

Cause at least you change the spelling and.

A (10:54)

Yeah, yeah, you do. Yeah. But that was Stormzy with a Z. It was just Stormzy's name.

B (10:59)

Classic.

A (11:01)

So the ones that were chosen.

B (11:02)

Okay.

A (11:04)

Of more than 50,000 suggestions for the 2526 season. This is so rubbish. They've gone with Amy, Bram, Chandra, Dave, Eddie, Finola, Gerard, Hannah, Isla, Yana, Kasia, Lilith, Marty, Nico, Oscar, Patrick, Ruby, Stevie, Tadg. That's Tadhg.

B (11:32)

Oh, yeah, I've heard that name.

A (11:34)

Where's that for? Is that a sort of Scandinavian.

B (11:36)

I don't know. Tad. H.G. oh, I think it is Irish. It's like a Gaelic.

A (11:44)

Okay. Yeah, it's quite Gaelic. Yeah. Violet and Wubbo. Okay, so there you go. Chandra hit the UK and Ireland at the end of January, and Dave is next.

B (11:56)

Okay. So I'm of two minds on this because I do prefer, you know, if Bruce Springstorm that we're. We're trying something here, but just imagining the news being like. As Bruce Springstorm has ravaged the coast, hundreds have lost their homes. It just feels like it's like, maybe not the time for a pun. But it's also very funny that they just are like, suggest us normal names.

A (12:27)

Yeah, you can. That is true. That's probably why they've steered clear of it. Yeah, you can't do the. Yeah. 15 are missing. 4 are confirmed killed after Dame Judy Drench came through. It's disrespectful. Have you ever been to Colorado, Josh?

B (12:50)

I have been to Colorado.

A (12:52)

Have you ever been on the pedestrian crossing at the intersection between US 85 and East 60th Avenue in Commerce?

B (13:00)

It's a. I don't think I have. That is not a familiar intersection to me.

A (13:06)

Well, more fool you, the police arrested a guy there who was on that crossing on a unicycle juggling fire this week.

B (13:18)

What'd they arrest him for?

A (13:21)

Well, that's what I was trying to figure out, because that's not a crime, is it?

B (13:24)

Doesn't sound like a crime.

A (13:25)

He was wearing a red hat, blue trousers, and colorful jacket. Still not a crime there. No, necessarily.

B (13:31)

He could even go on stage with that outfit.

A (13:34)

He absolutely could. You are asking for the Mario Heckles there.

B (13:39)

It sounds more like a crime for attention than anything else,

A (13:44)

do you reckon? Yeah. A man on a unicycle juggling fire in a red hat. What could he possibly want? Don't look at him.

B (13:51)

People just going, hey, man, just call your mom.

A (13:55)

Yeah.

B (13:56)

She'll tell you she loves you.

A (13:59)

I'm sure your dad is proud. Yeah, it's fine.

B (14:01)

It's hard to ride a unicycle.

A (14:04)

I actually really respect it because having read down a little bit, he was actually. He was just driving backwards and forwards on the crossing while they were waiting for the lights to turn green. Just entertaining people while they were waiting.

B (14:21)

Colorado hates.

A (14:22)

I think that's a great thing to do.

B (14:24)

Yeah. There's so many ways to be annoying in traffic, and this guy picked a Delightful one.

A (14:33)

Yeah. I really don't see where the issue is there, but apparently the Commerce City Police Department said our drone caught his act, which was both quite good and quite illegal.

B (14:47)

What's quite illegal? I mean, I guess you're not supposed to just ride a unicycle back and forth, but if you're with the light. If the lights are in your favor.

A (14:57)

If not, blocking traffic. Yeah.

B (14:58)

I don't know.

A (14:59)

Is it the fire?

B (15:01)

Yeah, maybe it's the fire. I don't. I don't like that the drone snitched on him.

A (15:06)

No. That feels a little bit Orwellian, that, doesn't it?

B (15:09)

Yeah.

A (15:10)

I want to live in a world where people can just ride unicycles on fire.

B (15:14)

That's right. Or you would have to. Some person who's upset would have to call it in and be like, yeah, hey, we got a theater kid in progress down at the crossing. And, like, you should have to do a human snitch. Machines shouldn't be allowed to snitch on something like this. Like, fun crimes.

A (15:36)

I think that's a really important point, actually. I think that with so many things, I think if. If a human catches me doing it. Fair enough. Bang to rights. I am not being done by a piece of technology because I'm cheating.

B (15:50)

That's just sitting there all day. No, thanks.

A (15:54)

Yeah. And apparently it violated several laws according to the police department.

B (15:59)

Okay, what laws?

A (16:00)

Trespassing and impeding traffic by failing to vacate the crossing in time. Okay, so he was a bit. A bit slow off the mark when the lights turned, I guess.

B (16:10)

But you gotta let that guy off with a warning. You gotta say, just unicycle faster, bud.

A (16:15)

Yeah, that's all it needs. It's just feedback. That's all he needed.

B (16:20)

That's right.

A (16:20)

Just a bit of feedback.

B (16:22)

And I think if you're riding Unicycle juggling fire in public, in traffic, you've made yourself open to feedback.

A (16:34)

Yeah, I don't think he's gonna turn around and go, what gives you the right to talk about my act? Well, you're doing it on the front of my car.

B (16:43)

Yeah, if I wanted notes from you, I'm sorry, did you graduate Clown University? What makes you qualified to give you notes on my unicycle Fire juggling? Are you the great clown Pagliacci?

A (17:02)

Excellent. A classic. Does it? Oh, yeah. I'm not gonna go into it. There's a comedian who does a variation of it that always really makes me laugh. But we're running out of time and as it's the Sunday pub chat, Josh, I like to get in a bit of pub quiz trivia. Don't always have time. Got time for one question?

B (17:23)

Let's do it.

A (17:24)

Let's do it. Let's finish on a bit of trivia. It's great. Everyone play along at home. So, Josh, the big one. How many time zones are there in Russia?

B (17:36)

That's a very good question.

A (17:38)

It is a good one.

B (17:39)

Big wide country, obviously. Huge lot of time. I have been. I think I learned at one point that in maybe it's in China that there's only one time zone. So it's the same time for everyone in the country. And I feel like that is a better guess than trying to slice up Russia in my mind to go like, oh, yeah, probably it's six time zones wide. I'd be just as close or just as likely to get it right, assuming that Vladimir Putin is like one time for everyone. So I'm going to guess one time zone.

A (18:18)

It does sound plausible when you do it with that accent.

B (18:20)

Thank you.

A (18:21)

You think I'm going with the old trick question?

B (18:23)

I do think you're going with the old trick question.

A (18:25)

Well, Josh, I can reveal that the answer is, in fact, 11.

B (18:32)

I was way off.

A (18:33)

There is 11 time zones in Russia and it doesn't sound as good coming from Putin's mouth.

B (18:40)

11 time zones. 11 zones of time.

A (18:44)

Actually, I take it back. It does sound good.

B (18:45)

It also sounds pretty good, but I wouldn't have even gotten close. I would have guessed somewhere between five and seven. Eleven, That's.

A (18:54)

Yeah, I think I would have gone for probably, yeah, four or five even, maybe.

B (18:59)

Yeah, that's. Wow. 11 time zones. That's a lot of east west ground they're covering.

A (19:06)

It really is.

B (19:08)

You know, in my time zone, though, it's getting pretty late, so I'm. I'm gonna drift off to sleep. Good night, Matt.

A (19:16)

Good night, Josh. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch co. You can also follow us at HatchPodcasts.