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The Nightly
Should I Charge My Ex for His Concert Ticket? w/ Listener Maddie
00:20:40
Kristen & Jacquis
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- [00:00]
A
Hello.
- [00:01]
B
You're about to drift into an episode of the Nightly, a podcast designed to help you unwind and relax. For the full phone free immersive light experience, visit Hatch Co. Enjoy.
- [00:28]
C
Hey, all of you out there in Hatch sleepy time land, I'm Kristen.
- [00:33]
B
And I'm Jacquees. Welcome to the Nightly on Hatch, where all voices are radio voices. I love that Jacqueese.
- [00:43]
C
That is so true of you. You have the best, most soothing radio voice.
- [00:48]
B
That is so lovely of you. Tomorrow I'm gonna talk like Biz Markie. Just to switch it up, I think.
- [00:57]
C
I should talk like the Affleck duck. Then maybe we can both just shake it up a little bit.
- [01:02]
B
Godfrey.
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C
Yeah, yeah, I'm joking that I will use that voice. But I've been asked over the years to maybe sound a little bit more like this or try this on for size. And I always sound exactly like me. So I just don't think I can be an actor. I don't think I'm a voice actor.
- [01:18]
B
Oh, trust me, most actors also sound terrible. I'm sure many people told Gilbert Gottfried, bro, your voice is crazy. And he was just like, and I'm gonna make it famous. That's ego.
- [01:32]
C
Ah, so I just need to have a bigger ego, huh?
- [01:35]
B
That's all it is.
- [01:36]
C
I'm curious, do you think that having an ego also comes into play when maybe giving advice?
- [01:42]
B
Uh, you know, it could, but not all the time. You know, I think sometimes there is relating and empathy when it comes to. To advice. I think the ego comes in when you think people have to take your advice.
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A
Oh.
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C
I will keep all of this in mind for what we have planned for later this episode because it is relevant.
- [02:07]
B
For sure. For sure. But first, Kristin, I gotta know, how are you?
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C
I'm doing great. I always love talking with you, Chiquis.
- [02:14]
B
Same.
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C
I feel like anytime I talk with you, it puts me in the most relaxed mood. It really does.
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B
I love it.
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C
And you're doing good?
- [02:22]
B
I'm doing great. It's been a beautiful day. I'm feeling right for the pillow fort and I'm feeling excited because we are doing something just a little special. And tonight we are opening up what we like to call the nightly hotline. So one of our the nightly listeners has called in with a question. They are on the line with us right now. And we are so excited this week to be joined by Maddie from Los Angeles, California. Maddie, what's up? How you doing?
- [03:05]
A
Hi. I'm good. How are you?
- [03:07]
B
Ah, I'm feeling fantastic. All right. All right, Maddie. So you called us because you have a question you want us to help you answer. So hit us with it. What do you have?
- [03:19]
A
Well, okay, so I have this concert coming up, and I bought the tickets with my ex. But the context behind it is that I originally bought the ticket just for me, because I was like, I love this artist. I want to go see her perform. My ex found out, obviously, we were together at the time, and was like, I can't believe you didn't buy me a ticket. Like, you think we're not gonna make it? And, like, kind of got upset. So I was like, you know what? Like, all right, like, I'll buy a ticket. Like, I'm committing, and the concert's coming up, and obviously it's, like, making me think about the relationship. And maybe it's pettiness or maybe it's just, like, a closure that I need. But I was like, do I just, like, charge him for the ticket? Like, I paid for us to go anyway. So I'm in this, like, weird dilemma that I think a lot of people are in. Do you eat the cost, or do you reach out and charge them?
- [04:23]
C
Okay, I think I already have my own answer to this. But in fairness to the situation, just to get more information out there, first of all, how long were you two dating, and were you already thinking of breaking up with this person before you bought the tickets?
- [04:41]
A
Yeah. No. Great question. We dated for, like, three months, but, like, very intensely. Like, one of those, like, crash and burn type relationships where I was, like, not ready to commit at the beginning, and he was, like, all in full throttle. I kind of was, like, whiplash for me. A little bit. Like, the breakup, we just had differences in opinion about a world and things that, like, were kind of hidden from me. So I feel like I didn't really get to know the person that I was, like, kind of falling in love with. So that's the background. It was, like, a very short but very intense relationship.
- [05:19]
B
Does this person still expect to go to this concert?
- [05:24]
A
He did reach out, like, a month ago, which I was like, don't text me. But I don't think that he would.
- [05:32]
B
Okay.
- [05:33]
A
I mean, maybe if given the opportunity. But I kind of am at the point where I'm just like, I wouldn't want to go to this with you. I kind of just like, I feel a little. Maybe it's just human to feel a little petty sometimes. I don't know.
- [05:46]
B
But, oh, listen, on this side of the pillow fort, I love a petty queen. I Love a petty king, baby. I love it. I love it.
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C
As do I. Although I. I will say I don't think you sound petty at all.
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B
Who's this concert?
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A
Who.
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B
Who we seeing? Who we seeing? Maddie. Who we seeing?
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A
Billy Martin.
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B
Billy Martin?
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A
Yeah. She's like an indie folk singer, songwriter. Like, very sweet. Like, kind of romantic music. Like something you would bring a date to, right?
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C
Yeah.
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B
Oh, romantic music.
- [06:15]
A
Oh. All right, here.
- [06:16]
B
Here we go. First things first. It's just two clicks to send a Venmo request. That's all. It's not hard. Now, I wouldn't expect him to pay you for it. Cause I'm gonna be real. Like, if somebody sent me a Venmo request for a concert I'm not going to, I would be like, you tripping. But to appease your own system, why not? Just as long as you make sure if that payment doesn't come your way, that it's not gonna keep deregulating you in the way that you probably don't want to be. But also, you know, let me tell you. Let me give you advice with a little story. I bought tickets to Beyonce a couple years ago. Two tickets. I was dating someone at the time, or not really dating, but, you know, I was. We were in the talking process. I didn't tell her I bought the tickets, though. And then it didn't work out, and I started seeing someone else. And then when I was like, huh, I think I like this person. Let me hit her with these Beyonce tickets real quick. And boy, she was like, yo, you're taking me to Beyonce. The kudo points that I got at the end of that night were fantastic. So I' ma say charge them for the ticket. However, use this ticket to maybe get in somewhere else that you may want to. If there's somebody you crushing on, or if it's not, take a friend. But, like, if there's somebody who's like, I want to explore just with a little bit more people, like, are you going to take me to a concert? Okay. Heck, yeah. And use it to your advantage. Use this concert ticket to your advantage in any way that you see fit. And also, forget this person. Yeah, forget them.
- [08:03]
A
No, it's funny you say that, because maybe I have a little bit of a crush right now.
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B
There you go. There you go.
- [08:11]
A
I literally thought that, but then I was like, okay, so I'm charging my ex to take my crush to this concert. That's crazy.
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B
Yeah, they probably. If they pay you the money, they gonna expect that to you, right? So, you know. But I really would love to hear what you gotta say, Kristin, because mine is.
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A
No, I like yours.
- [08:35]
C
I think your advice is fantastic. I really like it. Now, I just want to clarify why I was asking all the background questions. One thing I really wanted to get a sense of is, are you really over your ex? Is this just a way to stay tethered to your ex? Let's keep the conversation going. And it sounds like you're not still tethered to your ex. You're just trying to tie up a loose end and get what is financially, rightfully yours out of this. You're not trying to exact revenge on your ex. You're not trying to get back together with your ex. And if you were trying to do any of those things, I'd just be like, nope. This is the point. You hang out with your girlfriends. You go on a walk, do some meditation, read a good book. You do not engage with your ex. I'm also of the burn it down school when it comes to breakups. If we break up, I never want to see you again or hear about you again for the rest of my life. I pretend you never existed. You are gone. And I'm not one of those people who's like, we can still be friends. No, we were never friends in the first place, and you're not going to be my friend now. So I just wanted to get a feel for how you are right now. It sounds like you're over the ex. It sounds like you just want to tie up loose ends. Ask your ex to pay you back for the ticket. There is a high likelihood your ex will be like, I don't even want that ticket anymore. Use it with somebody else. But at least you will have said the thing that you really want to say. And you want to say it not for petty reasons, but just to tie up that final loose end. And if he doesn't respond, it sounds like you're of the mindset where it's like, it's okay, I needed to say what I needed to say. So just psychologically, to put this to rest, to put it to bed, as we say here on the nightly. Say what you need to say. And it may just be the two clicks of a Venmo request. Get it out there for yourself psychologically. Then make peace with it. Don't expect anything back. And then, yes, this other crush. Bring this other crush to the concert with you.
- [10:32]
A
Yeah. Oh, thank you. No, I, like, love the two different pieces of advice because it is a good question to ask, like, does this mean you're not over your ex. And I am, I think. But I didn't get to, like, close it in the way that I wanted to. And I think, like, that's also the piece that's in it. Like, the ticket could be $20 or it could be, like, $200, but I think it's just, like, the, like, principle behind it. And just. I think that I do need to do it. And whether or not he fulfills it, up to him. But, like, that's out of my court. I just at least got to have my little bit of peace, I think.
- [11:15]
B
I think there's nothing wrong with doing things for yourself. And, And. And as far as, you know, things to just kind of make your systems feel better. You know what I'm saying? Here, look in the pillow fort. We are all about comfort. We are all about feeling relaxed and feeling good, but also, you know, feeling true to what you're feeling at the moment, because that's the only way you can, like, get to the other side when you wake up, you know? So I think there's nothing wrong with doing that whatsoever. And life is hard. I tend to try to approach things with a mindset of not only taking care of myself, but making things as light for me as I can. Because things aren't light usually. Right. So I think, you know, it's okay to be, quote, petty. And I don't even really think it's pettiness. We're saying that because it's funny. But, like, I think it's okay to send that request if, If. If that is going to make you feel better about the expense that you, you know, took forward. And I'm a huge component of Dating ourselves too, you know, It's a beautiful thing. Right?
- [12:33]
A
Yeah. Thank you. I mean, I guess part of it, too, is that, like, I did buy the ticket to go to the concert by myself. Like, I wanted to take myself out.
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C
Yeah.
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A
And it was like this person who was like, why wouldn't you want to take me? And I think that, too, is, like, what makes me feel a little like, you know what? Like, I. I had a date by myself, and, like, you made me feel bad about it. And so I bought you a ticket. And, like, now you're not even here. And I think that's part of it too.
- [13:09]
C
I can see why you're like, no, ugh, I want my money back. I didn't even wanna buy this ticket for you.
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A
Right, Right. Yeah.
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C
But I think that no matter what you do, it's gonna be fine. I think as long as you still get to see Billy Martin, as long as you get to have that moment that you really wanted where you get to feel the music, feel at peace, fulfill that moment of love and joy which music gives all of us, then you're gonna win no matter what. Everything. At the end of the day, Maddy, you're taking care of yourself, and that's all that counts. We just. We're very pro. Do what feels good to you, Maddie.
- [13:51]
A
Thank you.
- [13:52]
B
Yes, Maddie, we love games here in the Pillow force. So I definitely want to play a little game with you that is concert band related. But before we do that, I just gotta ask you, how are you feeling? Post advice. What are you thinking here in the pillow, Ford?
- [14:09]
A
I'm actually so grateful because I feel like you both provided, like, different perspectives on it. And I think that I really just, like, needed to hear it laid out because in my head I'm like chatter, you know? And at the end of the day, you're right. Like, I have to choose myself and do what I think is best for me to move on and get some sort of peace. And if that's actually just saying, hey, you know what? Forget it. Eat the cost. I'm not going to open up the can of worms. Or I'm like, this is what will help me release and get to my next phase in life and where I, like, move on and I'm in a different relationship or just dating myself. But I think, yeah, I really appreciate you both providing the advice to me and just also because I was like, I kind of feel stupid about asking for this, but.
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C
Oh, no, there's nothing stupid about.
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A
And I'm like, I'm petty as hell. Yeah, like, I'm petty as hell.
- [15:08]
C
Like, asking for your own money back is not petty.
- [15:11]
B
Absolutely. But I know what you mean. What you just said is very human, but from an outside perspective, I don't feel that at all.
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C
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with Jacquees. I don't see that at all. It's all on the up and up.
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B
Yes.
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C
You want your money back? That's fine.
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B
All right, Maddie, let's play a little Pillow for it. Classic. All right, let's play a little. Would you rather. Does that sound good?
- [15:39]
A
Yeah, it sounds good.
- [15:40]
B
All right, here we go. I got one for you. Would you rather have a front row seat to your favorite band, but everyone around you smells like Axe body spray? Or sit in the back row where the sound is pretty terrible but the vibes are perfect? Everybody smells good, everybody's singing. And you know like, if we using Beyonce Love on Top in the back row, it sounds like doves on flop. You know what I'm saying? So it don't sound good, but the vibes are, right. Which one would you rather, Maddie? I'll. I'll let you open it up.
- [16:19]
A
Honestly, if the sound was a little better and didn't sound like doves on flop, I would choose the back, but I'm gonna have to go with Axe body spray because I just spent hundreds of dollars to watch Beyonce. I gotta sit in the front, you know?
- [16:36]
B
Yeah, I feel you. I feel you. What about you, Krista?
- [16:40]
C
Well, I did see Beyonce in the nosebleed seats, and I'm just gonna tell you, she cares about her fans. She loves her fans in the cheap seats. She makes sure that her sound quality is phenomenal, no matter where you are sitting. But in this scenario you just gave us, the sound is gonna be terrible if I'm in the cheap seats. Huh?
- [16:57]
B
Mm.
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A
Mm.
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C
I don't want bad sound at a live show. Yeah, I mean, I don't want the Axe Body spray either. That stuff is not. No. But I did learn a trick recently from a friend. She said you put Tiger Balm in your nostrils when you go into a smelly space, and the Tiger Balm filters out the smell so you can't smell it. You may have a runny nose for the rest of the night, however. But.
- [17:21]
B
Okay, in this scenario, Tiger Balm does not exist. Oh. Oh, you got it. You got to smell it. You got to smell it. You going to be smelling it.
- [17:29]
C
Oh, there's no way around it.
- [17:30]
B
Yeah.
- [17:31]
C
Oh, my God. Okay, I'm choosing the front. I'm doing the front.
- [17:34]
B
Still choosing the front.
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C
I'm still choosing the front. And I'm going to have a terrible headache about five minutes in from that Axe Body spray.
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B
Yeah.
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C
But the music's going to sound good.
- [17:43]
B
Music going to sound good. I think I also got to go in the front because, like, I'm. If I'm with somebody, me and that person's vibes can be immaculate enough to carry me through. And let me tell you something. You know, whenever you just get in any space when people are singing and dancing and sweating, like, the smell's going to come. So I'm going to be like, all right, I got to smell the Axe body spray. I'm going to be mad. I might even, as I'm singing a song, be like love on top. Ooh, y' all stink around me. I might even say something. You know, I might even say Something to let everybody know, like, I am smelling you, but I'm still here with the queen, with queen bee, you know? And we right here, we connect. And I might even touch her hand, you know? So I think that, you know, tops being in the back, I don't look, I'm bougie. Like, all y' all saying, like, front. I'm bougie. I want to be in the back. I want to be in the front. So.
- [18:37]
C
All right. So all three of us are sitting in the front row together. We just brought the vibe right there.
- [18:42]
B
Yes, we did.
- [18:43]
C
Yeah.
- [18:43]
B
Yes, we did. Well, that was beautiful. Thank you for indulging in that. Would you rather, Maddie?
- [18:49]
A
Oh, thank you.
- [18:50]
C
Yes. And, Maddie, thank you so much for being vulnerable with us, for sharing your question with us, and for tolerating our advice attempts.
- [19:01]
A
Oh, my God, no.
- [19:02]
C
Our possibly petty advice attempts 100 billion percent welcome.
- [19:07]
A
And you know what? I know it's a joke, but sometimes Patty's good.
- [19:11]
C
Yes. And listeners, all of you out there, if you want to bring us your questions, please email us at the nightlyatch co. You might even make it on the show. We love hearing from you, and Jacques and I and the other folks here in the pillow fort will do our very best to give you some advice. Petty. Or maybe not petty. Maddie, thank you so much again. And Jacques, thank you as always. It was so much fun, and I am now feeling so ready for bed.
- [19:45]
B
I'm feeling tapped out. Maddie. We're about to lay our heads down on the pillow. I hope you have a beautiful night.
- [19:51]
A
Thank you.
- [19:52]
B
And, Kristin, I'll talk to you next time. Good night.
- [19:55]
A
Good night.
- [20:07]
B
Sa. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch co. You can also follow us at HatchPodcasts.