Skills We Wish We Had

Summary

The Nightly – "Skills We Wish We Had"

Host: Hatch Podcasts
Date: June 27, 2026
Featuring: Matt Bragg and KP Parker

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Episode Overview

"Skills We Wish We Had" is a cozy, meandering conversation between comedians Matt Bragg and KP Parker, reflecting on the everyday abilities they envy or wish they could master—ranging from physical skills like throwing and running to quirky talents like speed reading. Intertwined with whimsical tangents about panini-presses for pants, bedtime book choices, and LAN gaming sessions, the episode is infused with playful wit and late-night irreverence, making for a light and comforting bedtime listen.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Skills They Wish They Had

• Throwing:

  • Matt shares his desire to be better at throwing things, feeling he missed a fundamental phase to learn it, having not played sports like cricket.
    • "I'm not great at throwing. Oh, I'd love to be better at throwing stuff...I just thought that's probably the biggest thing I wish I was better at that I could actually conceivably get better at." (01:19)
  • Both agree throwing involves more physical technique than they realized (back, hips, muscle memory).

• Running:

  • KP wishes for natural running abilities, describing it as boring but universally impressive.
    • "I mean, it's just. It's running. It's such a boring answer. But it's like, wouldn't it be cool to be really good at running?" (03:33)
  • Matt describes a past fleeting passion for running, recounting half-marathons during lockdown, but now feels the toll on his knees.
    • "I got super into running a couple of years ago...my knees are paying for it now." (04:11)

• Speed Reading:

  • KP reveals being a fast reader and details how speed reading often equals strategic skimming.
    • "Here's the dirty secret they don't want to admit. But yeah, it is skimming. I read really quick, but I'm reading about every third word and I'm filling in the the's and the wases and all that." (04:52)
  • Both discuss the difference between skimming and actually absorbing stories, and the joy of reading in distraction-free environments.

2. Books: Treats vs. Challenges

• KP powers through books on flights, estimating 300-400 pages over two 6-hour flights (08:31).
• Matt struggles to finish books quickly, feeling each one is a "slog"; currently reading "Three Body Problem."
  • "I'm actually reading at the moment on my Kindle...It takes so much brain capacity because it's Chinese as well as...the book is set in China. It's Chinese author. So the names are Chinese names. And that takes a little bit of extra brain to remember who's who." (09:09)
• KP describes varying genres as "treat books," especially Kurt Vonnegut ("Slaughterhouse 5", "Breakfast of Champions") as an author that's fun and easy.
  • "There are some authors that you're like, okay, this is just my little treat author because I don't have to work very hard." (10:25)
• Matt jokes his "treat books" would revert him to picture books (11:08).

3. Gaming Nostalgia

• Matt shares playing "The Last of Us: Part II" and reminisces about the compelling, overgrown world design.
  • "I'm just. I'm fully obsessed with it again. I love being in that world...city is kind of overrun with nature again. I always like that look when the nature like kind of retakes over the city." (12:53)
• KP and Matt bond over similar thrills in seeing real cities in games ("GTA: San Andreas" vs. current LA).
• KP talks about organizing classic LAN nights with friends, junk food, and high-energy snacks (14:13).
  • "I invited my friends over with their computers. We get pizza, we get chips, we get Mountain Dews and we get a classic computer evening." (14:38)
• The joy of camaraderie and chatting during LAN parties is contrasted with the relative quiet of movie nights.

4. The Saga of Sour Candy & Energy Drinks

• KP discovers a sour candy so extreme, it's age-restricted.
  • "I got a sour candy that you had to be 16 to buy it..." (15:38)
  • "I tried one just to give it a go and my knees buckled." (16:00)
• Matt shares a story about being ID-checked while trying to buy a Red Bull at age 34.
  • "This woman asked for ID and I was. I couldn't even be angry. I've obviously really flattered. I'm 34." (17:06)
• Both rant humorously on the inconsistency of energy regulations (e.g., iced coffee isn't age-restricted).
  • "That makes sense to me to have this, this rule though. I do think kids will get their hands on anything they're not supposed to." (18:09)

5. Fun Tangents: The Corby Trouser Press

• A lively detour trying to describe a trouser press by comparing it to a "long sandwich" or a "panini for trousers."
  • KP: "It's a panini. Yeah, it's a trouser panini." (07:57)
• Matt admits he'd get distracted by this appliance and never finish reading a book with one in the room.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I could try really hard. But it still came across a bit camp." – Matt on his school throwing style (02:40)
• "If I needed a javelin thrown...I don't think I would call you first." – KP (02:35)
• "Speed reading...is skimming. I read really quick, but I'm reading about every third word...filling in the the's and the wases." – KP (04:52)
• "You know the thing I wish I was good at? Well, I think I've spoken on this before. Math is tough." – KP (03:03)
• "A trouser panini." – both, riffing on the Corby Trouser Press (07:58)
• "I got a sour candy that you had to be 16 to buy it...I tried one just to give it a go and my knees buckled." – KP (16:00)
• "This woman asked for ID.. I've obviously really flattered. I'm 34." – Matt (17:06)
• "No treats here, only work." – Matt, on his slow reading (11:08)

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Timestamps for Highlights

• 00:38 – Matt introduces the main theme: skills they wish they had
• 01:19 – Longing for throwing skills
• 02:53 – The technique of throwing and gym class throwback
• 03:33 – KP expresses desire to be good at running
• 04:52 – The truth about speed reading
• 08:31 – Book reading speeds and distractions
• 09:14 – The challenge of "Three Body Problem" and foreign character names
• 10:25 – The concept of "treat books"
• 12:00 – Matt playing The Last of Us and gaming immersion
• 13:56 – GTA, city nostalgia through gaming
• 14:38 – KP's LAN night tradition and snacks
• 15:38 – The age-restricted super-sour candy challenge
• 17:06 – Matt's Red Bull ID-check story
• 19:32 – Goodnight shoutout to Peter Corby, inventor of the trouser press

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Tone & Takeaway

The tone is warm, witty, and thoroughly self-deprecating. Matt and KP meander comfortably through topics, letting their rambling style mirror the late-night, pre-sleep mental drift the show is known for. Audiences are treated to a recognizable blend of nostalgia, gentle humor, and honest reflection on being “just ok” at skills—leaving listeners feeling both seen and soothed.

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Closing Goodnights (19:15–20:00)

• KP gives a "good night" shoutout to the diligent supermarket employee enforcing the Red Bull age restriction.
• Matt honors "Peter Corby, the inventor of the Corby trouser press" (19:32).
• Both sign off with playful gratitude for the small joys and quirks discussed during the episode.

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For listeners seeking comfort, company, and a reminder that it’s OK not to be perfect (or even very good) at everything, this episode is a gentle, engaging listen.

Transcript

[A]

Audio for sleep by hatch.

[B]

Alright, I'm Matt.

[A]

And I'm kp. Welcome to the nightly from Hatch where your late night thoughts go to rest.

[B]

I've had a thought that I can't let go to rest yet.

[A]

Okay, let's awaken it.

[B]

It's a big one. I've been waiting all day actually to ask you this.

[A]

Please.

[B]

It came to me while I was on a walk to the local supermarket because I needed some eggs. Okay, that's not relevant.

[A]

But it is. It's a charming little errand.

[B]

Yeah. Nice little walk. Probably a 15 minute walk. And I walked on the walk back. I was just thinking, cuz I'm trying to walk without headphones or anything.

[A]

Oh yeah. Be in the moment type stuff.

[B]

Yeah. Apparently if you stop cramming stuff into your head 24 hours a day, it's quite good for your mind.

[A]

Jury's out. I don't know. I don't believe the science.

[B]

I tell you what, it doesn't. There's nothing to drown out the voice. It's awful. But it got me thinking. I suddenly thought, I, I'm not, I'm not great at throwing. Oh, I'd love to be better at throwing stuff. I thought I was trying to look back through my life going, at what point could I have decided to get better at throwing? Like was there an opportunity that I missed there? Like I never played cricket or anything.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And maybe if I'd have done that I'd be better at throwing stuff. And I just thought that's probably the biggest thing I wish I was better at that I could actually conceivably get better at. Is there anything that you think I wish I was better at that thing, but it's quite an attainable thing.

[A]

Well, firstly, I agree with you on the throwing. It is, it just feels like, yeah, we missed the bucket to be good at that I would like. I don't even know what muscles I'm missing. I don't know if it's just pure vibes that I'm missing, but I also can't really throw very far.

[B]

Yeah, it's everything as well. It's balls. It's a javelin.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

It's. I mean anything, a stick, a bottle, you know, whatever.

[A]

If I needed a javelin throne. I don't want to offend you, but I don't think I would call you first.

[B]

No, you'd be right not to. You would be right. I wouldn't take offense to it, but I just thought because I remember when I was at school even throwing stuff Then with the best will in the world, I could try really hard. But it still came across a bit camp.

[A]

I don't. Yeah, I don't even know. What is it pecs? What is the thing to work?

[B]

I think there's a lot more in the back than I thought. A bit more rotation, you know, maybe in the hips.

[A]

Oh, that makes sense. You know the thing I wish that I was good at? Well, I think I've spoken on this before. Math is tough.

[B]

It is tough. Yeah.

[A]

But as I think I said to you before, I realized I'm certainly not even in the worst 10 in my friend group. So that makes me feel better.

[B]

You've only got eight friends, though.

[A]

I truly. Well, they can't count, so they won't know that they're really bad. So that made me feel better. So I think I've put that one to bed. But I'd say that I wish I was good at. I mean, it's just. It's running. It's such a. It's such a boring answer. But it's like, wouldn't it be cool to be really good at running?

[B]

It would be. It would be good to be good at running. But then also I think that there's limitations. There isn't of. Because I. I got super into running a couple of years ago.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

And I was. I mean, in fact, it was during maybe like halfway through Covid a few years ago, wherever that was. And I got to the point where I was like, I could. I would just go out in the morning before breakfast and just shift out like a half marathon. I could just do that.

[A]

Okay. See, Nevermind. I don't want to be good at

[B]

learning anything else to do, but I feel like my knees are paying for it now.

[A]

Yeah, I can't really afford that. What about. I see one thing. I am. That's an odd thing that I am good at. I am good at speed reading. I'm a fast reader and I like that. That is nice.

[B]

That's a great skill to have, actually. Yeah, that's really good.

[A]

I just. I feel really blessed about that one because I do. I can just kind of get the gist a little bit quicker and move on. I'm fast at it. It's nice. And I get to read more books. It's that one I'm excited about.

[B]

I would love to get through more books. Is that so. It's not like. It's not skimming. You do read all of it, don't you? But you just. You take it in quicker Matt.

[A]

Here's the dirty secret they don't want to admit. But yeah, it is skimming. I have to be honest, speed reading. I read really quick, but I'm reading about every third word and I'm filling in the the's and the wases and all that.

[B]

Okay, so you're. So you're learning to take out the words that are sort of surplus. But what, do you ever miss something where it's like, if I were to say, that's not great, could you read that as that. That. That's great.

[A]

That is great. And keep going and I love what you're doing. Yeah, I fill in all of those words that I'm doing great. No, I would say there's times, because I'm like. It doesn't work for, like, tiny sentences. I'm reading those at a regular pace, I'd say. But like, in pages, I'm just kind of quickly scanning each thing, getting the context, distilling it, et cetera, et cetera. But there are definitely times where I'll get to one paragraph and I'll be like, wait, I think I did something wrong, because that doesn't match. And then I'll have to go back and actually read.

[B]

Right. Okay. So you can catch yourself and then go back and sort of fill in the blanks.

[A]

And it's not like I'm that fat. I'm not like purposefully doing it to be a speed speeds reader. But this is just kind of how I learned where I was like, I'm just excited to get to the next page. So I'm kind of going quick.

[B]

Nice. So if you've got, like, what would you say an average book is? 4 or 500 pages, maybe?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How quickly are you getting through that?

[A]

Oh, well, if you, like, sat me down in a room with nothing.

[B]

Okay, let's say it's a room, but that is. There's a television. Oh, it's not got Netflix or anything, or YouTube. Just basic.

[A]

Okay. But it's like a hotel TV.

[B]

It's a hotel TV.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, you got that? There's a window and a trouser press.

[A]

Well, that's gonna take a lot of my time.

[B]

I love a trouser.

[A]

Is that like an iron? Just a. Just an iron, or is it a separate press?

[B]

It's like Corby. Trouser press is like the. It's got, like, arms on it. So you open it. You open it like that. So it opens like a. If you imagine.

[A]

Wow, I've never seen this thing.

[B]

What's the. Like a long sandwich.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. Put it to me in terms of sandwiches and make sure they're long, please. I don't want it on ciabatta. I need a long sandwich.

[B]

So try, try to explain this in terms that you'd understand.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So a long sandwich, but you open it up and it sort of hinges from the bottom.

[A]

The bread.

[B]

The bread hinges from the bottom. Yeah. And it opens lengthways as opposed to width ways.

[A]

So not like a hot dog.

[B]

Not like a hot dog. No. The opposite of a hot dog really. I suppose.

[A]

Long sandwich.

[B]

A long sandwich. Yeah, exactly right. Kp. And what you would do is open it up and then the filling of the long sandwich would become your trousers. Yeah.

[A]

A trouser sandwich.

[B]

A trouser sandwich, yes. And then obviously you close it and turn it on and that will. It presses your trousers to get the creases out.

[A]

Oh, creases out.

[B]

So it's a hot, long sandwich. Yeah. Cheese and toast.

[A]

Panini.

[B]

It's a panini. Yeah, it's a trouser panini.

[A]

Trouser paninis. Yeah. Well, exactly. This is what I'm saying. If this was in the room with me, the book's not getting read because this is brand new tech.

[B]

Completely forgot we were talking about books. Go.

[A]

What book? We're talking about trouser paninis.

[B]

Sorry, what? Okay, yeah. So you've got all that good stuff. Four or five hundred pages.

[A]

Well, four or five hundred pages or making sure every pant I've ever owned doesn't have wrinkles in it. Let's say the pants are gonna take me. That'll take me three days straight. So that's what I'm gonna be doing there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

After that, then maybe I'll turn to my book. Well, I guess a real test is like on, on a plane. I'm reading the whole time because I don't have service on my phone. So I just read like a 300 page book in that would be two flights. So that's 12 hours. That's not that. I mean six hours and then six hours.

[B]

And you read what, a 300 page,

[A]

300, 400 page book. Doesn't seem that impressive. But I don't know, it's just. I did it in two flights.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, to finish any book in like a couple of days, I find so impressive. It takes me such a long time and then I struggle to commit to the next one. I'm actually reading at the moment on my Kindle.

[A]

Oh, sure.

[B]

Got back into.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

It got adapted into a Netflix show called Three Body Problem.

[A]

Oh yes. This is a. This is a sci fi. Yeah. My friends liked this book.

[B]

Oh really?

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Did they like the book or the series?

[A]

They liked the book more than the series, I believe.

[B]

That's good to know because I kept meaning to watch the series because a friend of mine is in it.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

And I thought, oh yeah, I need to watch that. And it got round like I just never got round to it. I thought, okay, well I'll do the. I'll read the book instead. And I'm really enjoying it. But it's, it's. I just find it takes so much brain capacity because it's Chinese as well as it, I mean not the text can't read Chinese, but the book is set in China. It's Chinese author. So the names are Chinese names. And that takes a little bit of extra brain to remember who's who.

[A]

And yeah, sci fi in general, it's a little bit of a workout. I try and I love sci fi, it's my favorite genre of book. But I do try and gift myself like a modern non sci fi every like third book so that I can remember the. That reading fast is also fun.

[B]

I think that's hell.

[A]

Like this latest one, I did a little mix. There are some authors that you're like, okay, this is just my little treat author because I don't have to work very hard. Mine is Vonnegut. I find Vonnegut books fun and they're all a little bit the same. What's a title from Slaughterhouse 5 is his biggest one. Okay, what else he got? He has Breakfast of Champions.

[B]

I love that you can you have treat books though. That's. I as a concept. I think that's great.

[A]

You should do some treat books. Mm.

[B]

Yeah, but that's. It takes me so long to read one that it's like everything's a slog. There are no treats.

[A]

No treats here, only work.

[B]

If I was to go to treat books, we would be back at picture books. It's embarrassing reading out a play Minor, basically.

[A]

I mean some of these. I did do those fairy ones. I think we've talked about those books before too, where it was just those fantasy ones. Yeah.

[B]

Oh yeah, I read that. Well, I read the first one.

[A]

Those are treat books, but they are big. They're long treats. That's a lava cake kind of treat. Some real dessert.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's. I'd sort of dig in with those a bit as well. I, I don't really know why I did It. I wasn't the target audience for that.

[A]

No. I mean sometimes it just. It goes across genres.

[B]

I think that's good though, isn't it? It's out your comfort zone. You should read. Actually, on that subject. I've. I turned on my PlayStation for the first time.

[A]

Oh my goodness. Now this is a PlayStation. What?

[B]

It's PlayStation 5. Wow. Don't often play it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I. I played. In fact, you know, it's probably about this time last year. I really wanted to watch the Last of Us. Yeah series. And I thought, you know what? I'm gonna play the game. Good games, sort of a lot. So I played it alongside the first series and I loved it so much. I had such a good time playing it. And then I finished the first one and I was. I'd sort of had my fill with it and was happy. I was satisfied.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I got the feeling back this year so I downloaded the Last of Us Part two.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I've not watched the series, but I'm working my way. I'm probably about a quarter of the way through the game, I reckon.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

And I'm just. I'm fully obsessed with it again. I love being in that world.

[A]

It's really good. It's just a well done game. The design is cool. The. If people don't know this game, it's like there's kind of mushroom themed zombies. So this game takes place after the apocalypse has really hit. And I love that like the city is kind of overrun with nature again. I always like that look when the nature like kind of retakes over the city.

[B]

That's always. I love that. Yeah. There's an element as well where you can sort of. It's not fully open world. I guess it's like sandboxes. You can kind of look around a bit. But there's like. I'm in Seattle at the moment and it's a Seattle where. Yeah, there's. There's old cars and everything and train carriages and stuff that are just all overgrown and it's great. It's such. And also. How good's the soundtrack?

[A]

Really good. Really good. Did one take place in Boston? Yeah, I think so. Okay. See, I was living in Boston at the time it came out and it was very cool to see one for ones on how it all looks. They did the aquarium. Very cute.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

If I'm not mistaken.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. Yeah.

[A]

That was cool. I like when they do that in Grand Theft Auto. Now I live in la. I had played The Grand Theft San Andreas before and that one, I mean I was like. I was in LA for the first time and I was recognizing everything because of. I had done terrible crimes there.

[B]

And you played Grand Theft Auto?

[A]

Yes, of course. I have been playing. We just played a new game called Void Crew. It's fine, it's quite fun. But I did like a LAN night, a classic LAN night where I invited my friends over with their computers. We get pizza, we get chips, we get Mountain Dews and we get a classic computer evening.

[B]

That is so wholesome.

[A]

It was really fun. It was just. Yeah. And we're just set up in my living room with all of our desks pushed right next to each other and the room is overheating because of our computers. But it was very fun. I like a land night.

[B]

Yeah. I'd not put God LAN nights. I remember there was only ever one. There was one mate who I'd go around to play LAN games with because no one else had the. Well enough computers, I suppose.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we'd go around his house and play. There was three of us and we'd all be in different rooms at the computer playing there. What it was, it was like. It was a World War II, like RTS, like strategy game.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Unbelievable. It's so much fun.

[A]

It's really fun. Yeah, it's. It's nice every. So I like it more. I like it more than a movie night sometimes, if I may say, because movies you don't really get to talk so much. Land night. All you're doing is talking. You're just chatting and. And then you get just crazy snacks. I got a sour candy that you had to be 16 to buy it.

[B]

What?

[A]

You had to show ID because it was so sour.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Isn't that wild? I think that might just be a gimmick. I don't think they would turn away a 15 year old. But they said you're not allowed that.

[B]

I mean I wouldn't want to eat that.

[A]

I tried one just to give it a go and my knees buckled.

[B]

Really.

[A]

I just, I was weak at it and I spit it out. But it was a hit.

[B]

Is it just sort of for the challenge of it or do you actually really enjoy like super sour stuff?

[A]

I like like lemon candies. I enjoy a little bit of sour. But this was more for the challenge. I'm not like a thrill seeke. This was just. This would be a funny little gimmick to have around.

[B]

I see.

[A]

Yeah, it was, it was quite. And that's a perfect candy. For land night.

[B]

That is a great candy for land night. Actually on that as well. With the. You got to be 16 over here. I don't know how it is over there, but you gotta be 16 to buy energy drinks.

[A]

Oh, wow. That is not what's going on here. They should though.

[B]

It's. Yeah, I think. I do actually think that makes sense. But I went into Sainsbury's supermarket. I was on the road a couple of weeks ago and I tried. It must have been, I don't know, 10 o' clock at night and just about to. I had like five hours left of this drive and I went in and tried to buy a can of Red Bull.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And this woman asked for ID and I was. I couldn't even be angry. I've obviously really flattered. I'm 34.

[A]

Please just give me this.

[B]

These are my car keys. I'm going to crash my car if I can't have that.

[A]

And the blood will be on your hands, ma'. Am.

[B]

This will be all your fault. Come and see my car.

[A]

Let me sniff a coffee bean or something. But I am not leaving without a little burst of energy.

[B]

But that's the messed up thing is that I said, can I seriously not have that? Then she said, not without I.D. no.

[A]

What?

[B]

I was like, right, okay. Well, I never get angry at shop workers because it's not there. You know, they don't want to get in trouble. But I said, okay, I can put it back then. So I put it back and I just grabbed like a giant iced coffee and just said, I'll have this then, please. And she was like, yeah, no problem.

[A]

Right?

[B]

This is.

[A]

I mean, let's think it all through.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Common sense failures. Sometimes.

[A]

I think we should. That makes sense to me to have this, this rule though. I do think kids will get their hands on anything they're not supposed to.

[B]

It seems they would. And we know as adults, I mean we all. We all pretty much fall into crippling caffeine addictions.

[A]

Absolutely. It's a natural. But you have to let it happen in a due time. You can't develop it as a 12 year old.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

It will happen in college. Don't worry. Just give yourself a little it more time while your brain cells are still growing. Yeah, well, big apologies for just talking about the most awake drinks possible as we lull you to sleep. Hopefully it worked anyway. And I do want to give some good nights because I hope you are sleeping now. I would like to give good nights to that fine shop owner that was doing her job in keeping the 16 year olds away. She took it very seriously and I'm sorry you didn't get what you needed, Matt, but she's really good at her job and I hope she gets a promotion and has a good night.

[B]

A very diligent employee. A very diligent employee. Yes.

[A]

You could have been an undercover cop and she was making sure.

[B]

I could have been. Yeah. I could have been. So good Honor, I'd like to say a good night to Peter Corby.

[A]

Oh, ah,

[B]

the inventor of the Corby trouser press, which is interesting, actually, I didn't realize that. I thought it was called the Corby trouser press because it originated in Corby in Northamptonshire.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

But it's not. It was a guy called Peter Corby.

[A]

Good for you, Peter.

[B]

Yeah. He made the giant long hot sandwich for trousers.

[A]

Absolutely. Peter, the way your brain works, it's. It's a total mystery. I love it. Well, good night to them. And good night to you, Matt. I'll talk to you next time.

[B]

Night. K. Sa. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch Co. You can also follow us at Hatch Podcasts.