Tucson Is Way Too Hot

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Tucson Is Way Too Hot"

The Nightly Podcast — May 18, 2026

Hosts: Matt Bragg, KP Parker
Produced by: Hatch Podcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Nightly takes listeners on a warm, witty, and ever-so-sleepy exploration of KP's recent trip to Tucson, Arizona. Amid musings on desert heat, curious small museums, peculiar rental vehicles, and the connection between missile silos and Spanish baroque churches, Matt and KP blend engaging travelogues with their signature friendly banter. The episode dives into how people survive extreme heat, cultural quirks of Arizona, the joys and oddities of micro-adventures, and a side journey to Barcelona’s almost-finished Sagrada Familia—a tale 144 years in the making.

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Key Discussions and Insights

1. Surviving Tucson’s Oppressive Heat

• Tucson’s climate: KP describes the relentless, “roasting and toasting” heat:

  "The thing I'd like to consider most of all is 108 degrees temperature."
  —KP (01:30)

• Desert misconceptions: No cool relief at night, contrary to expectation:

  “I thought that was the whole thing with deserts. They were really cold at night but roasted in the day.”
  —Matt (02:25)
  “Nope, not what really was still toasty.”
  —KP (02:22)

• Admiration for locals:

  “Arizonians... you are built different. I salute you.”
  —KP (01:47)

2. KP’s Tour: Quirky Tucson Highlights

A. RV Mishap

• Accidentally booking a cabin without a bathroom:

  “I accidentally booked a cabin that had no bathroom… I didn’t think I’d have to look for [that] in a listing. So I thought that for sure, if I’m booking this place, surely there’ll be a bathroom.”
  —KP (06:05, 06:12)

• Resulted in trekking to the “community center” for basics:

  “The water was hot and I made it work.”
  —KP (06:37)

B. The Titan Missile Museum (Main Segment: 02:54–05:55; 10:13–12:35)

• Efficient but brisk tour highlighted by a simulation of launching a nuclear missile. KP jokes about missing out on getting chosen as the button-presser:

  “He was just speeding us along… I didn’t get chosen, but I think it was a real missed opportunity on his part.”
  —KP (03:02, 03:36)

• The volunteer simulation captivated older men on the tour:

  “They were like 75-year-old men… one really enjoyed the limelight… he kept asking people to salute him the whole rest of the day.”
  —KP (04:36, 05:22)

• Takeaway: A sense of relief and gratitude that the silo is decommissioned:

  “I’m glad we didn’t have to launch it. That was the takeaway.”
  —KP (05:09)

• Silo color psychology:

  “Everything is painted this toothpaste green… I bet there’s some study… to be a calming color… so people aren’t frantic running around in this missile silo.”
  —KP (09:48–10:13)

• Humor and seriousness from the tour guide:

  “Anytime somebody asked a question, if it wasn’t phrased, like, properly, he just kind of refused to answer it... He was all business.”
  —KP (10:31, 12:15)

  • Example: British tourist’s joke about targeting France, rebuffed by stoic guide.

    "Perhaps we could get this silo going and we could point it at France." (British tourist, 11:37)
    "Are you French?" (Tour guide, 11:52)

C. Local Cuisine & Adventures

• Tucson’s food scene:

  “Tucson [has] some of the best food I’ve ever had.”
  —KP (06:46)

• Driving a Polaris Slingshot (a three-wheeled vehicle):

  “It looks like a silly little sports car, but it doesn’t actually seem to go that quick... it’s just loud. It’s not fast.”
  —KP (07:00–08:10)

  • Issues with the car’s lack of roof and AC:

    “We had to stop to apply our SPF 70 every, like, four minutes.”
    —KP (08:30)

D. San Xavier del Bac Mission (08:40–14:27)

• Described as small, grand, and stunningly decorated:

  “I was struck by how gaudy it was… Every inch of the chapel was covered in art… beautiful art… very, very decorative.”
  —KP (13:23)

• The juxtaposition of history and kitsch:

  “You saw this cool 1810s historic, interesting chapel. Then you go to the gift shop and it’s… an armadillo with sunglasses that says Arizona’s cool.”
  —KP (14:04)

• Discovery and appreciation of prickly pear Candy:

  “I did get some prickly pear flavored gummies… This candy was delicious.”
  —KP (14:30–15:01)

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3. Nightly Tangent: Sagrada Familia and Gaudi’s Fate (15:10–18:26)

• Discussion of Barcelona’s Sagrada Familia, its unique architecture, and the almost-mythic story of Gaudi’s demise:

  “[Gaudi] came out [of] the church to admire his work, and… a tram ran him over.”
  —Matt (15:45)

• The enduring construction:

  “Nobody has been able to see it without scaffolding on it for 144 years.”
  —KP (16:36)

• The church’s surroundings now commercialized:

  “It’s like the most beautiful church you’ve ever seen. And then it’s also, like, the Whopper. It’s right next to that.”
  —KP (17:37)

4. Memorable Quotes and Moments

• “Arizonians... you are built different. I salute you.” —KP (01:47)
• “He kept asking people to salute him the whole rest of the day.” —KP (05:22)
• “Everything is painted this toothpaste green… I bet there’s some study…” —KP (09:48)
• “This guy, he tried. But no jokes allowed.” —KP (12:31)
• “I was struck by how gaudy it was… Every inch… covered in art.” —KP (13:23)
• “It’s like the most beautiful church you’ve ever seen. And then it’s also, like, the Whopper. It’s right next to that.” —KP (17:37)

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• 01:30 – KP reflects on Arizona heat
• 03:02–05:55 – Missile Museum adventure
• 06:05–06:37 – RV park bathroom mishap
• 06:46 – Tucson’s top-tier food
• 07:00–08:30 – Polaris Slingshot rental misadventures
• 08:40–14:27 – San Xavier del Bac Mission and gift shop
• 10:13–12:35 – Missile silo color psychology and stoic tour guide
• 14:30 – Prickly pear gummies delight
• 15:10–18:26 – Sagrada Familia, Gaudi’s fate, architecture tangent

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Closing Thoughts

As ever, Matt and KP close the show with sleepy shoutouts—Matt saluting Arizona’s heatproof residents, KP bidding “goodnight” to Gaudi and reflecting on the century-long labor of love that is Sagrada Familia.

If you’re heading to Tucson or Barcelona soon (or just love offbeat travel stories), this episode will leave you cozy, entertained, and dreaming of air conditioning and prickly pear treats under the desert stars.

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Transcript

[A]

Audio for sleep by hatch.

[B]

Alright, I'm Matt.

[A]

And I'm kp. Welcome to the nightly from Hatch where your late night thoughts go to. KP. Oh, Matt.

[B]

KP.

[A]

Matt.

[B]

KP, did you see JoJo's house in Tucson, Arizona?

[A]

I don't even know what JoJo's house is. What is that?

[B]

I don't know what it's the start of. Get back for the Beatles.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

JoJo was a man who thought he was a loner and he left his home in Tucson, Arizona for some California grass.

[A]

This is very much my story. I just left Arizona to come back to California.

[B]

Oh yeah, how weird.

[A]

No grass. I went to Tucson. Finally the trip occurred.

[B]

I need to know everything.

[A]

Yeah, it was a lot in many, many good ways. And it's a strange place.

[B]

Not entirely convinced, are you?

[A]

I need more data. I will go back at some point. I will go back because there was a lot of high highs and not really lows per se, but much to consider. The thing I'd like to consider most of all is 108 degrees temperature.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, go. Yeah. That's roasting.

[A]

It's roasting and toasting and it's not even like fully summer yet. Arizona is really in the middle of a desert and these people are built different. God bless. I think I salute you Arizonians for what you are able to do. I think AC is obviously a big part of your lives. But it was hot.

[B]

Very hardy people you would assume, I think.

[A]

I mean it was. Everybody was still out and about, shopping and eating and having a grand time.

[B]

I can't get my head around that. Was it cold at night? Is that. That's desert.

[A]

Nope, not what really was still toasty. It was.

[B]

I thought that was the whole thing with deserts. They were really cold at night but roasted in the day.

[A]

Maybe sometimes. But this was not cold. It was still. It was like. Because I'd wait for the sun to go down. I go, okay, finally I can wear some different clothes. Maybe bring this, bring out the sweatshirt. But nope, it was hot. It was just hot. And then a little less hot.

[B]

No relief.

[A]

But I did get to go to a lot of places that had really. We went to the movies then, you know, movie theaters, keep that AC pumping. So I really appreciated that.

[B]

Yeah. Still have a long way to go to go to the pictures, isn't it? I know, I just did you got the missile thing?

[A]

Yes. Let me. So first was the missile museum and it was really interesting. It was only a 45 minute tour and I was like, I Could go for a double. This tour guide was really efficient and he was just speeding us along. And there was a little spot in the middle where he asked for like volunteers to do the simulation of like, okay, the President just called and gave you the numbers. Here's how. You have to press the buttons and turn the keys and I didn't get chosen, but I think it was a

[B]

real missed opportunity on his part there. I think.

[A]

I mean, I was like, I mean, what are my motivations? I mean, how. I think he was upset with how many acting notes I needed.

[B]

Yeah, you shouldn't have handed the CV over probably.

[A]

But he chose to tell you what

[B]

you could have said.

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

it will come to me.

[A]

I don't know if that would have been good. I don't think that was convincing.

[B]

Scrap that. That wouldn't have helped.

[A]

Ah. Just sort of sighed at him.

[B]

You probably did. It was if it was hot. That tends to be what I say when it's hot. Mm.

[A]

At least it was like 100ft underground. So it wasn't hot in there.

[B]

I bet that was lovely down there actually.

[A]

Yeah, it was nice metal. Mm.

[B]

I was trying to think of your cookie advert. You could have given a bit of that and then he would have understood your acting chops and prowess and he would have gone, okay. K.P. is. Yeah, she's the right act for this job.

[A]

Yes. These nuclear codes ate and left zero Brookie Crumbs. The men that were chosen did a great job. They were like 75 year old men that were on this tour. It was really popular with older men.

[B]

Bet they would have loved that as well. That's a real like World cup final for those fellas.

[A]

Yes. Yes. They were really interested in looking at everything and I was too. It was a really cool. It was a cool little museum. I like a small museum.

[B]

Yeah. Any big takeaway facts that have sort of stuck out.

[A]

I would say that I'm glad we didn't have to launch it. That was the takeaway. I'm glad that that is not working anymore.

[B]

It's a lot of responsibility for two 75 year old men on holiday, isn't it? Really?

[A]

Absolutely. But I trusted them. There was one that he really enjoyed the limelight. I'll say that he was really excited to be chosen. He kept asking people to salute him the whole rest of the day.

[B]

So he really went to his head.

[A]

He needed this. Yes. I said I'm glad it was him because he KE kind of saluting. He kept asking, you know, he would. He was in Character, I'll say that.

[B]

Okay. I mean, that's nice. Isn't it?

[A]

Beautiful? Yeah.

[B]

And that was so. That was that first day you went to the.

[A]

Yes, we went right into that. I mean, the day before we had stayed in an RV park just halfway, just so it wasn't so. So much driving the first day. And that was a really interesting spot because I accidentally booked a cabin that had no bathroom.

[B]

Interesting because regular listeners will know that you've become accustomed to using bathrooms, haven't you, kp?

[A]

It's something that I didn't think I'd have to look for in a listing. So I thought that for sure, if I'm booking this place, surely there'll be a bathroom. And I didn't know.

[B]

So how did that work then? Were you just sort of heading out into the woods or.

[A]

No, there's like a communal. A community center you can just walk to and take showers.

[B]

There's arguably worse actually, isn't it?

[A]

Absolutely. But the water was hot and I made it work.

[B]

Okay. So that was. That was sort of day zero.

[A]

Yes. Then went right to the missile museum, then got some tacos that were delicious. I gotta say, Tucson, that's some of the best food I've ever had. That food was really, really good.

[B]

Big climb.

[A]

Then we went to. We rented a very cool car called the Polaris Slingshot. And that was like a. It has no roof and it is really low to the ground. And it's technically. It's like has three wheels. So it's kind of technically a motorcycle transmission, but it has like a chassis. So it's like. It just looks like a silly little sports car, but it doesn't actually seem to go that quick.

[B]

Kind of like a Batmobile style thing, but obviously less good.

[A]

Yes. Looks very much like a Batmobile. And I found it to be a really funny thing to toot around town with because I mean, it was all red lights in this town. So it's not even like we really opened it up any. I think the highest we got was 45 miles an hour. And I think it was funny too. It's so loud because it's like got a motorcycles kind of engine on it. And so it was just. You get to like 10 miles an hour and you're like, oh my God, we're really speeding. And then it's just. It's just loud. It's not fast.

[B]

It's been low to the ground as well. It feels like you're going so much quicker when you're low down.

[A]

Yeah. So it Was cool to toot around in, but I'd say I. It was a bit lost on me.

[B]

Also not ideal to get the air con pumping when there's no roof, so.

[A]

Well, there's no air conditioner at all. This is the big issue.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we had to stop to apply our SPF 70 every, like, four minutes.

[B]

Yeah. It's not the most practical car for a desert, is it?

[A]

No. Then we saw a mission, a Spanish mission called San Xavier de bac. And so this was a really cool church that was still functioning. That was from 1810, I think.

[B]

Wow. So you say mission. That's as in, like, some Spanish missionaries came over at some point and set that up.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

It was a beautiful building and, like, just really a little bit of history, too. We already got the science, so now it's time to get the history.

[B]

Yeah, that's a pretty history. Heavy trip so far. What was your favorite out of the two? Between missile and religion?

[A]

To me, it was the mission. I thought the mission was really cool. I liked the look of it a little more. It's more. There's more artistic sensibilities when designing it. The missile was really metal, Kind of

[B]

utilitarian by its nature. Isn't it a missile?

[A]

Which I was fine with. You don't need to be doing artistic murals down there. We need to stay focused.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I go, that's fine, everybody. I understand that this is just for utility, but they did. Here's the thing that I thought was quite cool. In the missile silo, everything is painted this, like, toothpaste green. And I'm like, I'd be curious to see if this is, like, a scientific thing. They studied to be a calming color or something. But it's all mint green, the whole thing.

[B]

That is unusual. I wouldn't have expected that.

[A]

All mint green. It was really kind of a pretty color. But I was like, I bet there's some study that they did in 1950 that was like, this is the most chilled out color so that people aren't frantic running around in this missile silo.

[B]

Did you ask the guy?

[A]

He was speeding. I didn't want to ask him because also, he was an interesting guy. I think he was really knowledgeable. But anytime somebody asked a question, if it wasn't phrased, like, properly, he. He just kind of refused to answer it. It seemed like I asked at one point. I was like, oh, is it safe to assume that, like, the targets were all in the Soviet Union? Or were there any targets that were, like, any of the allied countries?

[B]

Good.

[A]

Question, I thought, because earlier in the thing he said we didn't know the exact cities of the targets. That was classified and has remained classified. And so is it safe to assume the cities? And he goes, again, I don't have classified information. There'd be no way that I would be have clearance to get that info. I go, all right, no way.

[B]

Could you at least speculate, you know, a bit of fun.

[A]

I thought perhaps we have guessed by

[B]

now you've just got two old men to pretend to launch a missile. Can you just use your imagination a little bit?

[A]

And then a British guy was on the tour, he says, come on. Yeah, he made a nice little joke.

[B]

Didn't let himself down, did he?

[A]

No, no, he British guy was on the tour, he goes, perhaps we could get this silo going and we could point it at France. I don't know, he's got some little joke, he made some little anti France joke.

[B]

Can I just say, absolutely love that.

[A]

Actually we all laughed, we thought it was a good one. And the guy on the tour says, are you French? Clearly, I hate to say I can tell when an accent is British versus French, but I can. And he goes, no, no, I'm from Liverpool, so if any missiles are pointed over there, you'll let me know. And he goes again, I don't know that this tour guide was all business.

[B]

It's all business.

[A]

And I don't think any of these giant missiles that we have are pointed at Liverpool as of that.

[B]

I know that would be a real turn up that, wouldn't it? With everything going on in the world just out of nowhere, just absolutely hammer Liverpool.

[A]

Yeah, this British guy, he tried, but no jokes allowed.

[B]

Also if he was French that'd be a really rogue thing to say, wouldn't it?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Any chance you could just point this where my family are? Please sit to the back teeth of them.

[A]

Unresolved issues in your country. I don't know. But this was a. It was this real. Everyone's down to business, which honestly, here's what I'll say, completely makes sense. It's a serious zone. It's okay. I wasn't expecting a comedy show at the missile silo. So I'm sorry.

[B]

Sure. So going back to the mission.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm curious to know, what is it? So it's a church, but like is in the classic sense that I would understand the church, like the sort of grand religious. Or is it a more like the missile silo, More like utilitarian.

[A]

No, it was pretty grand. I mean it was Small, but it was really. I was struck by how. I mean, I say this very lovingly. I was struck by how gaudy it was. Like, every inch of this, the actual chapel, was covered in art. Like, it was completely wooden decor. Very, very decorative. It was just very, very decorative. Like angels all over, different fathers and saints and figures all over. And I thought it was just like, beautiful art. It was very, very done up.

[B]

Wait, what sort of church is it?

[A]

I think just Catholic.

[B]

Yeah. Catholic church.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know exact things, but I thought it was very cool. There was a gift shop with a lot of. Just like. It was like, you saw this cool 1810s historic, interesting chapel. And then you go to the gift shop and it's like an air. An armadillo with sunglasses. And it says, arizona's cool.

[B]

Perfect. How many did you get?

[A]

I got. I got nothing from there, but I really can. Oh, we. I did get some prickly pear flavored gummies. Just regular gummy candy.

[B]

I never knew a prickly pear was. I thought it was just from the. Oh, God. What's it called? The song Jungle Book. Was it in the Jungle Book? Bare necessities, bear necessities.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

I thought a prickly pear was just. I thought it just worked for the song. I didn't know it was an actual thing.

[A]

No, I mean, it's. Yeah, it's the little. The little fruit on the cactus.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

And these. This candy was delicious, so I like the flavor a lot. They do a prickly pear margarita sometimes that I really enjoy.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. On churches as well. Just very quickly, before. Before we move on, I saw this week that the. You know, the. Is it the Sagrada Familia?

[A]

Oh, yes. I went there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Spain, and I finished it. Okay. When I went, obviously it wasn't finished. This is huge. So this is. Construction has been going on, if I'm not mistaken. I mean, decades. Right. Dare I say a hundred years.

[B]

Oh, long time. Because it was just as a reminder, if you don't know, the Sagrada Familia is a famous cathedral in Barcelona which was designed by Gaudi.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

This is one of my favorite stories, this, of artists just being too full of themselves. He started it, and I'm pretty sure he died because he came out the church to go and have a look at, like, to admire his work, and he was looking up and walking backwards and a tram ran him over.

[A]

That cannot be true.

[B]

I think that's true.

[A]

That is really interesting. I liked the architecture stuff that I saw him do. But this is okay. This construction on this church has been ongoing the whole time. It's not like. It's like, oh, it was finished and then they redid it. The construction has been ongoing for 144 years.

[B]

That is unbelievable, isn't it? It is incredibly intricate, and it's amazing.

[A]

It's beautiful. It's one of a kind, but it is like nobody has been able to see it without scaffolding on it for 144 years.

[B]

I think they've put in, like, a giant cross on the top. That's like the last thing that they're doing. But it's a weird, like, I can't even describe it. It's a huge, like, 3D cross.

[A]

It's beautiful. Yeah, it is really, really uni. One of a kind to look at. But, yeah, there was cranes all over when I was there.

[B]

How long ago was that then? When did you go?

[A]

Last year.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I almost saw the end.

[B]

So close.

[A]

It was so cool. Yeah, this is. It was. The construction's been going since 1880.

[B]

There's photographs from 1905 where it's still. It doesn't look that dissimilar to how it looks now, but there's just nothing else around it. So in that time, like, an entire city has just exploded round it and built up.

[A]

I mean, it is crazy because. Yeah, there's like a Dunkin Donuts right across the street from it. I mean, yeah, there's all these, like. There's Burger King, there's. It's like a tourist spot. So obviously all the places around it have had to, like, you know, have things for tourists. So there's just. It's like the most beautiful church you've ever seen. And then it's also, like the Whopper. It's right next to that.

[B]

The second most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

[A]

Yeah. I'm seeing here in the pillow fort encyclopedia. They are just finishing up some last details, but it's considered pretty much done.

[B]

Barcelona will finally have La Sa. How do you say it? La Sagrada Familia.

[A]

Sagrada Familia. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is really cool. I mean, we couldn't even go in because it was already too many people. So we just saw it from the outside. So now imagine how many people are going to be going in now that it's finished.

[B]

Oh, it'll be heaving. It'll be absolutely heaving. As will Dunkin Donuts and Burger King, I would imagine, which is great news for the franchisees.

[A]

That's going to take 140 years too, to get to its full potential. Those two.

[B]

What, the Boking and Dunkin Donuts? Yeah. Imagine if they hadn't finished them yet either. That was just sort of the theme of that. The builders took ages.

[A]

Yes, yes. Well, if you're in the Barcelona area or the Tucson area, we've got a lot of great recommendations for you.

[B]

We certainly do. We've also. We are running out of time here, but we've. There's so much more that I need to ask you about too.

[A]

So because there's still one day left but another episode, we will come back to this. I'm gonna say goodnight to Anthony Gowdy. You know, you were really an artist. I think you could have picked up the pace a little bit. But I don't begrudge you. You had a vision and I gotta say, it's very, very cool. It's very unique. I think you might be proud to see what has been done in the 200 years since you've been gone. So good night. Have sleep tight, Anthony.

[B]

I'd like to say goodnight to anybody who lives in Arizona. Yes, sounds face meltingly hot and not anything that I could put up with. So you have my full respect. Stay cool. Good night.

[A]

Good night, Matt.

[B]

No kp. To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch Co. You can also follow us at Hatch Podcasts.