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Hello.
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You're about to drift into an episode of the Nightly, a podcast designed to help you unwind and relax. For the full phone free immersive light experience. Visit Hatch Co. Enjoy.
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Hello. Hello. Hello, everybody out there. I'm Jacquees.
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And I'm Sophia. Welcome to the Nightly from Hatch, a slumber party for pop culture lovers. And we actually have our own little slumber party tonight because we are joined by the Enneagram expert, Abby Howe. Welcome, Abbie.
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Hi. Thanks for having me.
D
So good to have you. Thank you for coming on.
C
Yes, yes, yes. Very excited to have you.
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Of course, Abby. I listen to this podcast every night when I put my son to sleep.
D
Oh, my God.
C
Oh, there you go. So we help. We help. We help both of you guys go to sleep.
D
Yeah.
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Yes. Perfect.
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Fun for the whole family.
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Fun for the whole family. Call us up and we'll put those babies to sleep.
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Yes, exactly.
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Abby. This is a very fun slumber party because today we're bringing an expert to the slumber party. We're bringing somebody who's going to tell us about our inner selves. Because you are an Enneagram expert and you wrote a book. I just want to get this out of the way so everybody can know it right off top. I have it right in front of me. My Enneagram. A visual guide to find your personality type, stress less, and live your dreams. I absolutely love this. I'm going to give you the pillow for it. Tell us about Enneagram. Tell us about the book. Tell us about your work.
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Thank you. The Enneagram, if you are new to it, if you've never heard of it, in its simplest form, it's basically the way that you see the world. So it's a personality tool that theorizes that you can view life through one of nine perspectives, and that perspective shapes why you do the things that you do. That's something that is different from other personality types, like Strengths Finders or Myers Briggs, because it looks at why you're doing what you're doing. Because we could all do similar things. Like our behaviors can be similar, but the reasons underneath are going to be different.
C
I love that. I love that. The book was so interesting. I definitely. We definitely want to talk about it. But before we do that, the first personality that we all share is sleep. Something we all do. Something we all love to be experts in. So as an Enneagram expert or just as a person, do you have any sleep hygiene tips, tricks, traits that help you fall asleep at nighttime?
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Oh, man. So I'M like, really into junk journaling. I love, like, collecting little scraps of paper and things from the day, and then I, like, gather them in, like, a glue stick, and I sit on my bed with my corgi and I glue stuff down, and I. And I cut things and kind of let. Oh, I have a sticker book. My sticker. All the stickers everywhere. Like, I let myself do that. And it's just. It's so fun, and it's really relaxing. And then I have a little memento from that day with, like, I don't know, a McDonald's receipt or whatever. Whatever things that I collected that day.
C
That's really dope.
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I love junk journaling. It's so cool. I need to get into that. And I love stickers. Do you have, like, a book that's all from one place, or do you have kind of, like a DIY sticker book, if that makes sense.
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Okay, I'm. I have a sticker ecosystem.
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And walk us through that, please.
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Great. So there's. I've got a big old drawer, and there's a lot of loose stickers. I have stickers from when I was in third grade. Wow. Oh, my God.
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That's awesome.
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They still got stick on them.
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You know, sometimes I gotta add a little glue.
C
Okay. Okay.
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Then I do have, like, a fancy, schmancy book that, like, was made by an artist that was, like, I got as a birthday present. It has beautiful, slick, like, it's Natalie Let sticker book. And it's just absolutely gorgeous. And. And then I've just got collections of stickers in. In binders that I have, so I love stickers.
D
I feel like I always get the best stickers from. I have one tattoo artist who's given me, like, the most incredible stickers ever. She's, like, super talented. Her name's.
C
Oh, that's cool.
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Warm voices on Instagram, if anyone wants to check her out. I love stickers. I think they're so fun.
C
That's awesome. That's awesome. You know what I really love? I don't know if this is supposed to be. I've never actually heard of junk journaling. It sounds super interesting and also very helpful for something that a therapist has told me, which is like, yo, like, kind of like melt the day away at night before you go to sleep. So I loved when you was like, I take a memento from the day and put it in the journal. Is that, like, your way of just saying, like, this day happened? There was something about this day that was, like, great. And I'm gonna, like, put it to rest and, like, close the book on this day. Is that in that realm?
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Yeah, I think you. You said it really well. I would have never put it into words that beautifully, but, yeah, it's. And, you know, I have kind of a squirrel brain, so I forget everything that I do and everything. And I'm trying to be more intentional about remembering my life.
C
Oh, that's great.
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Especially now that I'm a mom and I want to, like, remember the cute stuff my son does.
C
I love that. Okay, so you've explained the what Enneagram is. Can you give us, like, why this is something we should care about? Why is this something that we should want to engage with and know about for ourselves and others?
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That's a great question. Because if this is just like some fun fact at a cocktail party, it doesn't really do anything for your life. Well, I'll answer in terms of how it helped me when I learned my type and my core motivations. It was like seeing things that I knew about myself but I'd never put into words. And I was like, oh, I've lived my entire life trying to make other people think I'm successful without ever looking at what do I want authentically. So I'd say if you do the work, the Enneagram helps you peel back that box that you've been living in, those patterns of behavior, and you can start to ask yourself, oh, why am I doing that? And that journey of those answering those questions, that can be really life changing. It can change your relationship to yourself and to other people. It's certainly been impactful in my life with my husband. He's an enneagram 4, the individualist. So learning how to communicate with him as a four, knowing his core fears and desires and the way that he moves through the world. So I would say it's useful because it can change who you are and make you a better person.
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I love it.
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Amazing.
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Maybe I'll give a little rundown of what the nine personality types are, and then I'd love to hear from you guys what types you think you are. And then also I have some, like, sleep tips, which we could do if. I guess if we have time at the end.
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At least for our types. At least for our types.
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Yeah. The trickiest. And I need to know.
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Okay, so there's nine Enneagram types. Nine personality types. The first one is type one. They're known as the reformer. And this is the person in class who, you know, is doing the whole project by themselves because they're afraid no one else is going to do it. Right. They spend each day with the mission of, like, I'm going to improve myself and the world around me. Then you've got type two, the Helper. And this is the kind of person who, like, walks into a room and instantly knows what everyone else needs. Like, oh, Sophia needs a snack, or Jacques needs a big old hug.
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Always true.
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All true.
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Yeah. They fear being not wanted and not needed, so they tend to put all of their focus on other people's needs. And then you've got the type 3, which is known as the Striver. This happens to be my type. Threes want to be, like, the best at everything they do. So that's why I'm banned from playing Monopoly in my family, because it's just
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like, the game isn't fun anymore.
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Yeah, they want to be successful. They want to. They're very goal oriented. They tend to be workaholics. I'm guilty of this. I'm up till, like, 11, 12 at night, like, tweaking this, working on a client thing, getting a head start on the next day. That's why I started junk journaling, actually, because I was like, this is not healthy. And I wasn't sleeping well. So I was like, I need something creative and kind of mindless to get my mind off of the roller coaster that I think is like an enneagram3's mind. And then the next type is Enneagram for the individualist. And that's the type that's sitting there, like, right now, listening to this. And they're like, I don't have a type. I'm too unique. You can't put me in a box. Like, this is silly. They're, like, very creative people. Then you've got type five, the Seeker. Have you guys seen Parks and Rec?
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Yes.
C
Yeah.
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Ron Swanson is, like, a textbook five.
C
Okay, that makes sense.
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Okay, good to know.
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Yeah. So, like, when he learns that, like, people online, like, companies get information about them, when he accepts those cookies, he throws his computer in the dumpster. That's a five.
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Five. Okay.
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They're just like, lifelong learners. They also, like, tend to become experts in things like woodworking or volcanology. Just, like, go down these rabbit holes. Then you've got enneagram6, the loyalist. If I murdered someone, I know exactly who I want. Making me bury my body. Sorry, that's not very, like. It's not very slumber party movie.
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We talk about murder.
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But listen, the Sixes, they'd help you.
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They Help you? Yeah. Ride or die.
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Ride or die.
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Ride or die.
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Yes, they have your back. Then you've got type 7, the Enthusiast. This is like the Enneagram's Jack of all trades.
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Gotcha.
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People capable of pursuing endless things, adventures they struggle with, like, the ultimate fomo. Fear of missing out, you know. Then you got type 8, the protector. And most people, when they find out their type, they're like, yeah, that's me. Unfortunately, I do that. But eights are usually like, hell, yeah. They don't shy away from the truth. Like, may the bridges I burn light the way. You know, they're all about protecting themselves and. And the ideas that they believe in. And then, last but never least, we have type nine, the Peacemaker. And these are people who are cultivating inner and outer peace. 24. 7. Personally, I think that you should try to find a bunch of nines and have them on this podcast, because they are the kings and queens of coziness. We all need to take notes from them. They're really good at cultivating an atmosphere of peacefulness.
C
Interesting. I would think we have a few friends that lead our slumber parties here at the nightly. And one of them that I think will fall in this too, probably would be Kristen and Josh.
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Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, I could definitely see that.
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Yeah.
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We got some peacemakers.
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We've definitely got some peacemakers.
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We got some peacemakers here in the pit fort.
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I agree.
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Yeah. As I was reading these, these personally, for me, I was just like, man, I. And I think this would be. Be true for a lot of us. Like, there are little bits and pieces of many of these that, like, I related to. But it was so enlightening for me when I took the quizzes and was, like, going back and forth and reading up, like, at the end of the book or throughout the book, I should say, you have, like, what if you're this type? What if you're that type? How to love this type. How to love that type, Which I thought was, like, so interesting. Can we get into, like, our quizzes? We want to hear what we.
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Perfect. Please.
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Perfect. So there are two quizzes in this. One of them is pretty short. It's just five questions. And then the second quiz, which was much longer, 11 questions. You can choose as many answers to each question. And then at the end of the quiz, you tally up how many answers you gave that would go into specific types. And then you kind of make up your tally, your number and everything like that. And so I had seven under one number at five under another, which were type three and type six were my, like, two types.
D
Wait, Jackie's same.
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For real?
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Yeah, for real.
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I love that.
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Not same breakdown, but that's kind of what we came out to.
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Yeah. So the striver and the loyalist and the loyalist I got. I was like, yep, that. That sounds like me to a T. Pretty. I strive to be pretty loyal and helpful and everything like that. But the striver was interesting to me. Cause that's what I got the most on that second quiz. Seven. Seven of them. But I am an overthinker, and I'm realizing that in my life, I. You know, and so it was just very interesting to me. I thought it was really dope.
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Yeah. Oh, man. Thanks for sharing that.
C
Yeah. Sophia, what did you get? What did you get?
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And then should I go?
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You should definitely go. And then, Abby, I would love to know what you think about both of ours.
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You can diagnose us and explain. You can help us fix everything about us.
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Please.
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I mean, I ended up with the same, like, kind of three and six were the most dominant ones. I found it was very interesting to take. I love a personality quiz. I think they're super, super interesting.
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Yeah.
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Yeah. So you got two threes and sixes here.
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Yeah. Yeah.
C
Tell us about ourselves.
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Well, you guys, you did a good job taking the test.
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Thank you.
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I think there's a. A little bit of a step process to finding your type. And you did the first one, which is you kind of get an array of numbers that you might be. So we've got a three and we've got a six. The next step would be really zeroing in on the core motivations of those two types. So that's how you ultimately find your number. I call them the core four. There's. You've got your core fear, your core desire, the thing that you're always running towards. Your core weakness, which is something else that sets the enneagram apart from other typing systems, is it helps you manage your weaknesses instead of letting them manage you kind of unconsciously. And then lastly, you've got, like, your soul message, which is the thing that you need to know, but it's not top of mind. You're not, like, waking up thinking, what am I going to do about my soul message? You know? So, yeah, let me tell you the core motivations of Type 3 and Type 6, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about that. So for threes, their core desire is to be successful and accomplish their goals. And they do everything in their power to not Be seen as unsuccessful. That's their core fear. They want to make the people in their lives proud. They want to make sure that they look good. So something that threes struggle with is authenticity. Like, their core weakness is like a self deceit. They can become like chameleons and be who they think they need to be in order to look successful or be successful. As a three myself, when I was a little kid, I used to tell people my dad worked for the CIA because I thought that made me look really cool.
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And it did. It did.
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And it does.
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And he does.
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And guess what, guys?
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He still does.
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But that's something that threes can struggle with. Is being honest really more with themselves. Of this is who I am and this is what I want. Instead of what do other people think of me? How am I being perceived? And then their sole message is just to know that you're valuable and worthy based on who you are and not for the things that you check off your to do list. Then the six, their core desire is to feel supported and like, they've got everything together. Nothing's going to fall apart. So they don't want to feel like the ground is unstable, whether that be like financial or relational or spiritual. They really thrive in routine with safety. They want to make sure they're safe. So they spend a lot of time thinking about how they will be unsafe. Like, how can I troubleshoot the possibility of me not being safe? There's a lot going on inside. And their core weakness is anxiety. Just like that constant, you know, hamster wheel of what if this happens? What if this happens? It's hard for them to find, like, true peace. And then the soul message of an enneagram6 is there's this quote that's like, all will be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. Just being present and here is really important for Sixes. And when they get to that, that's when Sixes really grow and. And thrive.
C
Man. Well, I'm gonna call my therapist and he's fired. I don't need him no more. I figured life out. You figured it out because those. Those. Both of those. It's really funny because as you were talking about three, I was like, yep, you know, I'm an actor and entertainer, you know, so of course it's like success. And then when I was younger, I used to, for whatever reason I remember, I would tell people I was a year older or I told somebody like, yeah, man, I'm from Detroit. Cause I just thought it made Me look cooler, so I would do that. But, like, as I've gotten older, I don't do that as much. So I relate to about half of that now. Cause now I'm just like, you gonna get what you gonna get, bruh. Like, Jaquis is Jackie's. And so, like, I've melted some of that away and have replaced it with most of six, which is I struggle mightily with anxiety and overthinking and worrying, and I feel like I relate to both of those pretty heavily and almost evenly, which is fun.
D
Yeah, I would agree. And I also even think, like, I feel like probably you would, like, agree with this too, Jacques, that it's like, I feel so, like, concerned with, like, safety and feeling like I'm, like, safe and like, everything's fine, which it is. I'm like, reminding myself in the, like, kind of, like, six way of being, like, I just want to feel, like, stable or whatever, but that almost, like, sometimes I try to maintain that, like, feeling of, like, safety or control through, like, almost the, like, ego of, like, three. A bit of being, like, striving really hard and. And, like, doing all these things and trying to be, like, super accomplished or successful or whatever so that I can feel, like, safe and taken care of, like, by myself.
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Yeah.
D
Something also for my therapist, I guess, to figure out for me.
C
You did say you had some knowledge on how your enneagram type can help us get better nights of sleep. So now that you got some threes and some sixes, help us get, you know, three to six plus hours of sleep at night, please. More sleep. More sleep. What tips do you have in that realm?
A
All right, well, I shared the junk journaling because I'm a three, and that helps. Doing something creative to get you off your computer, off your phone, and unplugging in a creative way. But you can also trick yourself because threes are very achievement oriented. So you could reframe your mindset by, like, viewing, unplugging, and having a good night's rest as an achievement itself. You could start a little list or habit tracker where you're like, did I unplug that day? Did I unplug that day? Try to get a streak. So basically, good sleep as an achievement. Trying to do that. Okay, I like that then for sixes, obviously you. You had mentioned Jackie's, like, worries and anxiety keeping you up. So I would say this is very niche to me, but I really believe that this would help sixes everywhere. Picking up a cozy fantasy novel like Legends and Lattes or, like, Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Fairies. Like something. No thrillers or horror. No looking at your phone. Just like something completely in another world that's really low stakes and sinking into that can be helpful for calming that monkey mind thing that's going on.
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Okay.
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All right.
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I love this.
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Thank you. I feel like I've learned so much. I'm excited to finish the book and then I'll be like a completely, like, I'll be my most like, transcendent self and like, everything will be. This is me being a three. I'm like, then everything will be completely different. My life will be awesome and I'll be totally successful.
C
Same, same. Absolutely.
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Before we wrap, we just wanted to know, Abby, if there's anything that our listeners should check out. Obviously, I just mentioned the book, so please plug that again and anything else that you want people to know about.
A
Amazing. Well, I spent about three years making this book. It's a guided journal. The best that it can possibly be to help you find your type and grow as a person. You can find it anywhere you buy books. It's on Amazon. It's at barnes and noble bookshop.org. there's journal prompts and exercises, and I focus a lot on like, burnout and restorative rest. How do you use the knowledge of your enneagram type to make your life better?
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Yeah.
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So that is where I would recommend you go. Go find that book anywhere you love.
C
That's a. That's beautiful. It's a very good book. My Enneagram. A visual guide to find your personality type, stress less, and live your dreams. If you are a reader, you know, I think you'll love it even if you're not a reader. Is kind of set up like work, workbook style. So it's interactive in a very engaging way. It looks dope. Abby, this was great. I appreciate you. We appreciate you. This has been. I'm about ready to go ahead and read some fantasy novels so I can take myself to sleep.
D
Thank you so much. And yeah, we'll talk to you guys next time. Good night, Abby. Good night, Jacques.
C
Good night, Sophia. Good night, Abby.
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Good night.
D
Good night,
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Sam.
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To learn more about our phone free light and audio experience, head to Hatch co. You can also follow us at HatchPodcasts.
Host: Jacquees & Sophia (Hatch Podcasts)
Guest: Abbey Howe
Date: February 28, 2026
In this cozy, late-night episode, Jacquees and Sophia invite Enneagram expert and author Abbey Howe into the "Hatch Pillow Fort" for a relaxing, insightful slumber party discussion. The trio explores the Enneagram personality framework, its personal and relational benefits, and practical sleep tips tailored to individual types. The conversation flows with warmth, humor, and actionable advice—perfect for unwinding and self-reflection.
Abbey gives engaging, relatable summaries of each type:
This Nightly episode offers both an approachable entry point into the Enneagram and concrete, comforting wisdom for personal and bedtime growth. Abbey Howe’s gentle expertise, coupled with Jacquees and Sophia’s playful curiosity, makes the topic both enjoyable and actionable—the perfect addition to anyone’s unwind ritual.