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- [00:01]
A
Audio for sleep by hatch. All right. I'm Matt. Welcome to the Nightly from Hatch, where your late night thoughts go to. Just me tonight in the pillow fort. Will be opening up the phone lines shortly to talk to a listener, and in the meantime, I will fill you in what I've been up to. It's been a very busy week. I actually had to go to a normal shop, which is a shame because I ran out of my Costco shop, which we've spoken about before on here. Took me a good three months to get through all of it. And it's a real shock to the system when you've actually got to go and pick up, you know, bits and pieces from a normal establishment. Nothing's big enough or cheap enough. So with that in mind, I picked up a few bits because it was essentials, you know, like deodorant, shower gel, that kind of thing, things that I needed immediately. And then the very next day, got in the car, went back to Costco, and I thought, seeing as people seem to be reasonably interested. Last time with what I did at Costco, I actually, I kept the receipt, but I thought I'd give you a little run through it first thing. Terra Evo. No idea what that is. OGX, S&C. Don't know. 210 tea bags. Can't argue with that. 13.99 Yorkshire Tea Method, Bleach. Blah, blah, blah. Lenore Cat San got some litter for Claud. Claudia Winkleman the cat, or Claudia Winkle Cat, as someone called her the other day, which I quite liked. In fact, that person's wife was also called Claudia. So I called her Claudia Winkle Wife, which is quite satisfying to say. Kimchi. Holly had been going on about kimchi for ages. The first time I went to Costco, she said, I'd love to get some kimchi. I think she'd seen somebody talking about it on TikTok. In fact, I say, I think I don't know, but she definitely did. Every time there's some sort of mad thing like, oh, we shouldn't use Tupperware anymore, it's because she's watched a TikTok on it, and it always ends up negatively impacting my life in some way. Like with the Tupperware one that's genuine, I went to make my dinner up so that I could take it to a gig with me. I'd eat it on the road. I made a tuna pasta salad and I just shouted to Holly, oh, where's my Tupperware that I always use to take? And she Went, oh, I threw it out. I said, right. And she said I was going to replace it, but I forgot. So I said, oh, right, no worries. I'll just put that in my pocket. Then. Some Calvin Klein boxes, decent oral B heads, webox, Licky Licks, Claudia loves them. Anyway, it's about a third of it. So that's that. That's my Costco shop anyway. And hopefully I won't need to go to a normal shop again for quite some time because why, I mean, why would you, why would you go to a normal shop when you've got a Costco? And in fact, speaking of that, why would you choose to live near an alligator? That is something that's on the mind tonight of Josh, who is our caller this evening. Josh, how's it going?
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B
Hello, good evening.
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A
Good evening. Welcome to the nightly. Where are you calling from, Josh?
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B
I'm calling from Los Angeles.
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A
Nice. And is that, I mean, you want to talk about living near alligators, Is that a particular problem in Los Angeles?
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B
You know, fortunately it's not, which is maybe why I live here.
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A
Was that the only thing you were looking for when you were looking at real estate science? Just the first tip box, no alligators.
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B
Yeah, it's because I think like, yeah, like Zillow and all of those. They have that as the first one, right?
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A
Yeah. It's a big, it's a big deal because you're right. Yeah. I mean, why, why would someone choose to live near an alligator? What's the trade off? Where do you tend to find them? Alligators?
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B
I think in, in like swampy, swampy, humid areas like Florida and the Carolinas
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A
and
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B
probably other places, too. But those are the ones that, that I've been to, that, that have left me wondering why is everybody so cool with the fact that there are millions of alligators nearby at all times?
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Are they, do you think, in any way? Domesticated is probably the wrong word, isn't it? Are they all right with people? They could see so many people that they're probably cool with them.
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B
I don't, I mean, I don't know how cool an alligator could be with, with any, with anything, really. I don't know. I don't, I think they want to be left alone, but I don't know. Probably not. I'm going to say no.
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Okay. Well, in that case, I mean, did you, when you've been to these places that, that share homes with alligators,
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was
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there any sort of redeeming features of the place where you think, yeah, this is worth it. This is Worth the stress of living next door to an alligator.
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B
I think maybe, like, in Florida, you also get hurricanes, so that maybe that's the, you know, the upside.
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A
That's an upside, is it? See if we can blow away some of the alligators.
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B
That's a redeeming feature.
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A
Yeah. Some people might have gone for Disneyland there.
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B
Oh, yeah, that's fair. That's actually a really good one. There you go. I actually like that, how that could coexist. Like. Yeah, you got. The price of alligators. Is that. Or. I'm sorry, the price of being close to Disney is that you're also close to alligators. That's fair.
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A
The price of alligators is probably pretty high as well, I would guess. I don't know how much it would cost to house an alligator. But it's weird, isn't it? Disneyland's there because it's a place that is. Obviously, it's sort of built primarily or historically with children in mind. To plonk that in a place so rife with alligators does seem irresponsible. I don't know why. Was there some sort of connection to Walt Disney with Florida?
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B
I don't know. I only know of the connection to Los Angeles and Burbank. I don't know why it's in Florida also. That might have to be its own. Its own. Call in to unpack that.
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A
Please do call in if you do know the connection between Walt Disney and Florida, because I only know the connection, like you say, with Los Angeles. So what's. What do you think? What sort of animal would you be happy living close to? Josh? Where'd you draw the line?
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B
That's a great question, because I grew up in New Jersey, and you're. You're close to a lot of deer, but I don't want it. I don't want a deer close to me. Like, I think a deer I'm scared of. I'm scared of ticks.
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Yeah.
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And an alligator. I'm scared for my life. So maybe. Yeah.
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Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, the ticks. Ticks are. And also getting in the way of the road. That's annoying.
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B
You know, that's. That's totally. That's very real, actually.
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It's quite dangerous, isn't it?
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B
Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I'll take some birds. I like some birds. I like some bird song, you know, I think alligators are cool. I just. I don't want every body of water near me to be assumed as having one in them.
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A
I don't think that's Unreasonable. Actually.
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B
I think you're the, you're the first person who's agreed with me on that.
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A
I think I'm surprised about that because I think with like deers, I think they've done very well on the PR front. Deers have had great PR for such a long time. Alligators less so.
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B
The NB was great for the deer PR campaign.
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It was so good. It doesn't get much better than that, does it? Whereas alligators, what have they got? They, they, Was it in Captain Hook?
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B
It might be an alligator. Yeah. Or a crocodile. I don't, I don't know which one it is. They're both scary.
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They are, but. And again, that's another, that's another problem, isn't it? I mean I'm guilty of that, but that's, it's probably not good. They all look the same to me, alligators and crocodiles.
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B
Maybe, maybe that's their PR strategy though is that if like one of them does something bad, they always say it's the other. You know, they're like, no, no, those are, those are crack dialysis.
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That's so. Yeah. So maybe so. Would you be comfortable living next door to a crocodile or is it just.
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B
Absolutely not. I think they're, I think they're way more aggressive. I, I, I've had a, this conversation with somebody from Australia who, who very much put me down. It put me in my place basically and said you, you don't know what you're talking about. Like we live near crocodiles and those are way more dangerous. And I fact checked him and he was absolutely correct.
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A
Yeah, I mean factually I think you're right. You can't really argue, however, in the nicest possible way. You can't trust Australians, Josh, because everything in Australia will kill you. The spiders like the tiniest little things are lethal. So they're just, they're so desensitized to animal on human violence.
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B
Yeah, that's, that's pretty fair. That's pretty fair. Yeah.
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A
I think you're right. With alligator. Have you ever had any sort of personal interactions or experiences with alligators?
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B
I have very fortunately only had the most benign interactions which was that my wife is from Florida. Excuse me? My wife is from Florida and we were visiting her parents and in her parents house there's like a, a human made body of water in the back that's very, very shallow and we saw some people out there looking at something. So I walked out with my wife and my father in law and we walked over kind of like near the Edge and there was an alligator in the water just chilling and everyone was just, oh, hey, look, there's an alligator. And we were looking at it. It was just looking at us. It was, nothing was going on. And then my wife and father in law, who are both from Florida, when they were done with this, this sightseeing of the alligator, just turned their back to it and started to walk away.
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A
Oh.
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And I, I was like, what are you guys doing? Are you supposed to watch this and make sure that it stays in the water? And they're like, oh, yeah, I guess you're right. I guess, I guess so.
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Oh, you guessed really? What? That's insane.
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B
Yeah. And so that, that is really. It's those kind of moments in my life that have inspired me to think about this a lot.
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A
Having said that though, and I hope I get the correct answer here, presumably your, your wife and father in law made it away from that situation.
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B
They did. Yeah, they did. They're both good. They, they, they to their point where they're, you know, would argue that. Yeah, it's all chill. They were right. It was.
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A
Well, that's it. All the evidence is kind of backing up that alligators, they, they seem fine.
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B
Yeah. Yeah. I mean I, my, my brother in law and sister in law have gone kayaking and sent us videos of just alligators swimming around next to them in Florida.
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A
Oh, I, I think, I just can't think of anything worse. I just, I think it's partially, it's the, especially when you say swimming around. There's something about the kind of scaly nature, I think. I don't know how they feel, but I don't think I'd like to touch it, you know?
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B
Yeah. I mean that and the just terrifying jaw. But like totally. I feel you on the scales. Yeah.
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A
You know what, you're absolutely right, Josh. It is more so the massive teeth and the terrifying jaw.
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B
Just the, the, the giant jaw on a 500 pound body.
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Yeah. Now I think about it, the texture probably doesn't make the top five. Have you, have you seen them in like, I mean, maybe you could kind of desensitize yourself if you go to like I was going to say a zoo or an aquarium. I don't. Where would they go?
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B
Somewhere in between they have nature walks in Florida where you're on like an elevated kind of boardwalk over a swamp and you can see them and they're beautiful. They're incredible. I am very much an admirer of them. It is more just I want them to do their thing and me to do my thing and us. To not have to share space.
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A
Yeah, I can see that. I think that's sort of fair. But now that we talk about it, though, Josh, I think there's. Obviously, there's a. There's a mutual respect here between you and the alligators is what I'm learning. You respect the alligators as a creature. The alligator didn't eat your wife. So. Yeah, based upon that, I think there's a. There's a possibility for a relationship in the future there. What I would say is that my. My parents used to live in a house in a village, and there was a major motorway that was built across the back of it, and everyone thought, oh, that'll be the end of the village. Everyone will be, you know, you can't live near a motorway. Within the first two months, everyone just tuned out the sound of the motorway. See what I'm saying, Josh? I think you could, you know, you could. You could tune out your kind of alligator fear if you just spent some more time living near them.
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B
Yeah. So they could just like. Like one foot in the water.
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Yeah.
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You know, for a couple weeks. Then I could put two in.
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Obviously. It could, like, backfire massively.
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B
Probably not, though, right? Like, probably not.
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Yeah, probably not. I mean, how. How many news stories are there about people being eaten by alligators nowadays?
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B
Too many.
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Oh, is there? I mean, again, I suppose why. I haven't heard about them, but why would I.
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I mean, probably relatively not that many. Enough. Enough for me to think about it.
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A
Yeah. It's tough to not say, even if it's. Because I imagine that the. The same things get peddled about sharks, don't they, where it's like, well, they're. They're more scared of you than you are of them. And I. I struggled to believe that.
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B
I do, too. I. You know, for whatever reason, I feel like sharks maybe are scared of you, but I feel like alligators aren't.
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A
Do you think?
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B
And I could. I could be totally wrong about that, but I just, like. I'm just, like, reinforcing more and more of, like, how irrational this thought is for me.
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A
I'm really trying to help, but actually, the more we talk about it, I
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know you really are. You keep, like, throwing me something, and I keep just.
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A
I did it. I think. I'm not convinced that sharks are more. More scared. I don't know. I think you're right. I don't think alligators are in the slightest bit frightened because, again, aforementioned massive mouth. Why would you be?
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B
So you don't think sharks. Hold on. You don't think sharks are scared of people?
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A
I don't reckon so.
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B
Why?
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I just think, well, what. What's the worst you can do? I mean, assuming that the humans not got like a harpoon or something, what is the worst that I could do to a sh. I can't even swim that well.
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B
Just like a little. A little punch in the nose. I think it's any animal you just. That's the move, right?
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A
Yeah. I mean, it'd work on me for sure. Well, this. This would be an absolute pleasure, Josh. I hope you could maybe. I mean, do you think we're any closer to. To allay in your fears on alligators?
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B
I think we are. Yeah. I think we are. I'm. I'm. I'm feeling more empathetic towards how people can normalize this and understanding that I could probably do it too.
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A
But, I mean, that is great to hear. That is progress, isn't it? So if you've got any real estate in the Florida area next to a swamp, get in touch with Josh. I think he's a. You'll get there with it.
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B
Yeah.
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A
But this has been there. It's been lovely to chat, Josh. Thank you very much for calling in.
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B
Likewise. Thank you for having me.
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A
Good night, mate.
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B
Good night.
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A
That was Josh there from Los Angeles, who. I think he's coming around to the idea. It's always tough with something like that because, I mean, I tend to agree with him, really. Alligators are pretty frightening, but there we go. If you want to come on the show to talk about anything that's on your mind, please email us or send a voice memo to the nightlyatch. Co. It could be alligators. It could be key cutters. It could be whiteboard pens, for example. I'll give you three guesses as to what I'm looking at as we speak. It could be anything. Truly anything. Get in touch. Get it off your mind. Let's chat. I would like to give a very, very quick good night to the people of Florida. I hope you sleep well despite the alligators in your back garden. I assume they're fine. They're probably domesticated. Have a wonderful evening. Good night.
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B
Sa. Sa.
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