Ashlyn Harris: There's Magic in 'Uncomfortable'

Summary

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The Nikki & Brie Show

Episode: Ashlyn Harris: There's Magic in 'Uncomfortable'

Date: October 6, 2025 | Host: SiriusXM

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Episode Overview

In this inspiring episode, Nikki and Brie Garcia welcome soccer superstar and activist Ashlyn Harris for a candid conversation about competition, resilience, equality, and the beauty of discomfort. Ashlyn shares her journey from being a child prodigy to champion, opening up about her upbringing, the challenges of breaking through in women’s sports, her advocacy for pay equity, and her philosophy on living authentically—even through life’s toughest transitions. The hosts and guest connect over motherhood, their athletic pasts, the impact of upbringing, and the importance of pushing boundaries. The episode offers both wisdom and warmth, leaving listeners motivated to embrace change and live boldly.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Childhood, Competition & Upbringing

[07:24] Ashlyn’s Athletic Beginnings

• Ashlyn describes her upbringing as a competitive, sports-driven tomboy, heavily influenced by her older brother and her drive to keep up with the boys.
  • “I played boys sports until I was 15...if I wanted to hang with my bro, I had to be good enough.” — Ashlyn Harris [07:58]
• A pivotal moment: Being scouted at a boys’ soccer tournament, leading to a call from U.S. coach April Heinrichs and her first stint with the U19 national team at just 13.

[09:57] Experience as 'the only girl'

• Skateboarding, baseball, and unconventional after-school time at the skate park shaped Ashlyn’s confidence and resilience.

Quote:
“I was the only girl in everything I did. So it didn't feel, like, weird. It felt like the norm.”
— Ashlyn Harris [09:57]

[10:40] The Value of Healthy Competition

• The hosts and Ashlyn discuss how competition between siblings builds tenacity and self-discovery, reflecting on their own children’s sibling dynamics.
  • Brie: “[Competition] is such a great lesson for kids to know, you know, that drive.”

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Pioneering in Women’s Soccer & Navigating Female Team Culture

[16:30] Early Experiences on the U.S. Team

• Ashlyn clarifies she started very young on the US women’s team, maintaining amateur status to attend college—being the first in her family to do so.
• Her background in competitive environments with boys gave her assertiveness and resilience.

[21:47] Challenges on Women’s Teams

• Ashlyn contrasts direct, accountability-driven communication learned with boys to the more delicate, sometimes “catty” dynamics in women’s locker rooms.
  • “Anytime I told something to someone or held them accountable, it was like, I was an asshole or I was too harsh or... too competitive.”
    — Ashlyn Harris [21:47]

[23:11] Lessons from Diverse Sports Locker Rooms

• She credits her cultural awareness and wisdom to the diverse, challenging environments in Florida sports: “I learned so much about life in that locker room I will never be able to replicate...” [23:13]

[25:16] Importance of Removing Emotion, Accepting Feedback

• Conversation about how men (and twins) tend to “hash things out and move on,” and how that helped all three become resilient, coachable, and unafraid to ruffle feathers.

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Becoming Uncomfortable & Striving for Excellence

[33:33] High-Performance Culture on the U.S. Team

• With the national team, Ashlyn felt true camaraderie, trust, and high expectations: “These women were operating as, like, extreme beast. So when I was there, it was all about winning. No bullshit.” [32:33]
• The pressure and standard was relentless and much different from her club teams.

Quote:
“We didn't all like each other and we didn't have to. But we fucked with each other because it mattered with our team chemistry... If you didn't like that or couldn't operate within those standards, trust me, you didn't last long because it is not for the weak.”
— Ashlyn Harris [32:41]

[34:10] The Value of Discomfort

• Ashlyn reveals she misses being pushed to the edge as an athlete:
  • “I love being uncomfortable. Like, I think it’s the best fucking feeling... when people hit that wall… I always wanted to push myself to limits that surprised even me.” [35:16]
• Nikki resonates, describing the appeal of wrestling’s physical and psychological demands in her 40s.

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Equality, Equity, & Barriers in Women’s Sports

[39:36] The Fight for Pay Equity

• Ashlyn makes a crucial distinction:
  • “Equality is a different conversation than equity. I think equality should be the standard... I think equity is going to take a little bit more time because so much of it is based on old models of scale and reach.” [39:36]
• She highlights issues like undervalued media rights and outdated business models as main barriers.
• Outspoken about the systemic failures of women's sports leagues, especially regarding rookie salaries and lack of investment.

Quote:
“I’m tired of having to feel grateful for things that we continue as women, paving the way and building on our back. ...I want to be fucking paid fairly for what I do and not have to worry about building a whole life in this sport and the second I’m done, I can’t rest...”
— Ashlyn Harris [41:30]

[44:17] Turning Activism into Action

• For Ashlyn, sport is a vehicle to effect societal change:
  • “If you’re given this platform where people actually listen to what you have to say, like, say the right things, stand up for the right... what you’re not changing, you’re choosing.” [44:17]
• She works to ensure her daughter will never have to accept less because she’s a girl.

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Parenting, Empathy & Raising Confident Girls

[49:10] Parenting Strong Daughters

• All three discuss raising strong, confident children who know their worth and how to advocate for themselves.
• Ashlyn: “My kids are going to be so cued in and tapped into who they are, what they represent...they’re not going to go after these dingoes.” [49:36]

The Role and Power of Storytelling

[50:28] Why Ashlyn Started Her Podcast (‘Wide Open’)

• Ashlyn wanted to provide a nuanced, unfiltered look at athletes and public figures, free from media distortion and snap judgments.
  • “Wide open for me was an opportunity to really sit down and unpack, like, who we are and why we move the way we do…” [51:15]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “I love being uncomfortable. Like, I think it’s the best fucking feeling... it’s not suffering for me. It’s actually showing me I’m alive.”
  — Ashlyn Harris [35:16]
• “What you are not changing, you are choosing.”
  — Ashlyn Harris [44:17] & [53:43]
• “We fucked with each other because it mattered with our team chemistry...”
  — Ashlyn Harris [32:41]
• “I want to live an extraordinary life, and I don’t want to choose mediocre. I just don’t.”
  — Ashlyn Harris [54:30]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – 01:47: Intros (skip ads & banter)
• 02:31: Ashlyn joins; stories of first meetings & shared events
• 07:24: Ashlyn’s early career, growing up as a competitor
• 16:30: Transition to women’s soccer, team dynamics, early challenges
• 21:47: Navigating the culture shock of women’s teams
• 33:33: U.S. Women's National Team high-performance environment
• 34:10: The positives of discomfort and pushing limits
• 39:36: State of pay equity and barriers in women’s sports
• 44:17: Turning platform into action—why advocacy matters
• 49:10: Parenting & raising empowered daughters
• 50:28: Motivation for starting Ashlyn’s podcast, Wide Open
• 53:43: Ashlyn’s affirmation & closing inspiration

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Closing Affirmation

“What you are not changing, you are choosing... You have one life to live, and the choices you make every single day matter. ...Choose to be exceptional and choose to live with so much hope and happiness and change things if they don’t work or fit into your life. You don’t have to feel safe. Stuck.”

— Ashlyn Harris [53:43–54:30]

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Final Thoughts

Ashlyn Harris’s candor and courage light up this episode, offering deeply practical wisdom on thriving through discomfort, breaking through cultural barriers, and using your platform for change. Under Nikki and Brie’s warm, witty guidance, the episode is a powerful reminder to compete relentlessly, raise the next generation with grit, and never settle—for yourself or for others.

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Recommended:

• Check out Ashlyn’s podcast [Wide Open] for more unfiltered conversations.
• Follow Nikki & Brie for more behind-the-scenes family, empowerment, and sports talk.

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Transcript

[Brie]

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[Nikki]

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[Ashlyn Harris]

I love it all.

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[Nikki]

What up, everyone? Welcome back to the Nikki and Bri Show. And today we are joined by an absolute legend in the world of soccer. Oh, yeah. A two time World cup champion, A fierce competitor who went pro at just 16.

[Brie]

What?

[Nikki]

And someone who fought not only for wins on the field, but for equality and represent representation off of it. She's known for incredible saves, being a fashion icon, an advocate for equal pay, a proud mom, a podcast host, and oh my gosh, so much more. So please everyone welcome American soccer superstar Ashlyn Harris.

[Ashlyn Harris]

You both come with me everywhere. That was the best intro. I feel so good about myself.

[Nikki]

Well, you should. You've done, you've done a lot.

[Brie]

I know. Well, you know what's so crazy is like Nikki and I have always wanted to interview you like before, like years back because you know, We. We grew up playing soccer, so we always just loved soccer players.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

And then it. I feel like we're friends because we keep bumping into each other. It's wild. It's like, now I feel like, oh, my God. You're our friend. On our crazy.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I know. Now you're never getting rid of me. I know.

[Nikki]

I'm getting that.

[Brie]

Yeah. Because the first time I met you was in Cans Cons. I never know how to say it.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Just.

[Brie]

We can keep it.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Can.

[Brie]

Keep a can.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Okay, we'll keep a can.

[Brie]

I was there trying to be French, being, like, con, and everyone's like, it's cans. And I'm like, oh, is it? I'm like, I don't know. I'm so American.

[Ashlyn Harris]

We really are, you know?

[Brie]

Oh, and then we still look cute. I know. Well, I had all the French outfits. Yeah. Nailed it. And then it was cool because we then bumped into you, I think, Nikki. Then you bumped in Ashlyn.

[Nikki]

Next. Yeah. Yes.

[Ashlyn Harris]

At the speaking event in New York Summit.

[Nikki]

Yep.

[Ashlyn Harris]

The Business of Women's Sports Summit. Yeah.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

And then we all did Airbnb together.

[Ashlyn Harris]

That was so fun. That was so. What a great room.

[Brie]

It was a great room.

[Nikki]

A very unexpecting room. Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I. It was like a lunch moment. And as soon as I saw both of you, I was like, are we going to the bar? Or are we gonna, like, Are we gonna break the ice here? Or we're just gonna stand around and be like, this is lol.

[Nikki]

Yeah, lol.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I mean, the room was lol. Honestly, the people in that room, I was like, she just a soccer player over here?

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

Oh.

[Nikki]

But iconic.

[Brie]

Iconic. And then we're just the pro wrestlers there, and we were all mingling with Kevin Costner.

[Nikki]

I loved it because you very well, they, like, judged you by Rose. And I love it because, like, we were next to Spencer Pratt, and he, Brie, and I are all like, yeah. They just threw reality stars, like, in the back. I'm, like, longest reigning divas champion over here.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Yeah. Front row.

[Nikki]

In the back. Yeah.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

Like, just because I don't have a residency in Vegas. Who cares?

[Brie]

Well, what have you done? Yeah, we were third row, and I was looking at it like A listers, B listers, C listers. So we were in, like, the C lister row.

[Nikki]

Hey, proud of it. Give me whatever list.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Whatever.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I'm like, just.

[Nikki]

Just happy. As long as we're making honestly, and you're putting change in my bank account, I'm all right.

[Ashlyn Harris]

No, I mean, I had. Yeah. And trust me, like, I. I am not tight lipped at all. I had thoughts. And the second I, like, saw anyone, I was remember, I was like, hello, we're moms.

[Nikki]

I have thoughts.

[Brie]

Yeah, we had big thoughts leaving there.

[Ashlyn Harris]

This is like, we need to be running businesses. We just really. All of it. We should be running all of it. We should be running the world. We should be in presidency. We should be the queen. We should do all of it. 100 less egos, less war.

[Nikki]

Your life would be so much better. The world would be so much.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Not this dumpster fire right now. We're in.

[Brie]

Oh, my gosh. I mean.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

What in the world? Take me back to the 80s and the 90s.

[Nikki]

I never thought I'd say it anywhere but here. I've had to, like, step away from things just because I've realized, especially as moms we know, I. I have to protect the energy of my household, of my space. I need to just keep it good and zen because you just. There's too much going on and I just can't get in that.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Oh, God, no. My children. My children will not have, like, cell phone policy is out the door now. Bye. Not with this.

[Brie]

Same. No, not with this landline.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Flip flown landline. You're gonna have to be doing this.

[Brie]

Yes.

[Nikki]

The one with, like, the paid minutes, too. You know how.

[Brie]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Brian and I talk about this all the time. We said flip phone home like a landline. Like, we.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I'm my old razor. These kids are going to be out here with the skinny razor.

[Brie]

Like, hey, at least they could pick.

[Nikki]

A color, you know? Remember when you can pick a color on the razor.

[Brie]

Oh, my gosh. Well, Ashlin, speaking of you, I mean, at 16 years old, I want to know. Yeah. You went pro with the US Women's soccer team. What were you started.

[Nikki]

You were a starter at 16, right?

[Ashlyn Harris]

I was like a real weird young prodigy. I. And weirdly, what happened? And I'm like, I don't know what your thoughts on this are on this, but, like, in sports, I was just really, really good at sports. And I had an older brother and I wanted to do everything he did. So I played boys sports until I was 15. And I played two years up because my brother was older. And to me, it was like, if I wanted to hang with my bro, I had to be good enough.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

So it was such a really, like, competitive fire that was so innate for me. I ended up getting recruited. I was. I think I was in Texas playing at like, a big Dallas Texans sting Tournament or something like that. But I was with boys, and a scout saw me and I guess at the time called April Heinrich, who was the coach, and she called my landline and left me a message and was like, hey, this is April Heinrichs. Like, we got word you were playing in this tournament. We'd love to, like, send you out to, like, this camp in Chula Vista at the US Olympic Training Center. And I went, and within like, a week, I was already playing for the U19 national team at, like, 13.

[Brie]

Wow, that's incredible. Me, too. I mean, that's. That's wild.

[Nikki]

Is your brother into soccer? Is that what drew you into soccer, to try it out or.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I was re. I was actually really good at baseball, and I know really weird, but, like, my brother played baseball, but I was really good at skating. Like, I was a great skater. I was a such a girl. Well, I came from, like, a really. You know, my family worked around the clock, and at different times, we're working two jobs just to provide for me and my brother. So I. We didn't have. We couldn't afford a nanny. We couldn't afford all this, like, stuff after school. My dad was like, here's a few bucks. My office is right behind the skate park. It's a public, like, skate park type of ordeal. It's open late at night, and they would order us, like, pizza and a drink, and we could skate all day. And we were, you know, kids were high school kids are there watching us. It was a dream for me.

[Brie]

That sounds amazing.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And I was the only girl. I was the only girl in everything I did. So it wasn't. It didn't feel, like, weird. It felt like the norm.

[Brie]

Right.

[Ashlyn Harris]

But my brother probably wanted to kill me. He's like, oh, my God, this girl is on every single one of my teams. I've had it.

[Brie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ashlyn Harris]

No. We're so close.

[Brie]

Okay. I love that. But, you know, that's how youth should be. That's how childhood should be. And I think that's how we all find ourselves is, like, getting, you know, our parents all worked, and you're in that boredom and you had a figure it out. Like, you know, we didn't. The TV didn't figure it out for us or these apps or all these things. You went outside and you figured out what you were good at, and you figured out what you were bad at and.

[Nikki]

Right.

[Brie]

You know what I mean? And so I love that. And I actually find it so interesting because, like, I think, you know, to myself, like, wow, Your brother, probably. And I'm. You're obviously competitive. I believe that's where you got. So you, like, had that competitive drive to keep up. Like, to really, like, keep up with him. So you pushed yourself constantly. And I think that's such a great lesson for kids to know, you know, that drive, that competitive. Sometimes I look at kids and I'm like, get. Like. I tell my daughter. I'm like, get that little fight, like, go, like, beat them. It's okay if you want to beat them. She'll, like, be like, well, I don't want to hurt people's feelings. And I'm like, it's okay to beat them in a race. Tell them they did good, but beat up.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Oh, I. Because my two kids are a year, like, apart, so they're. Me and my brother were a year apart, so they.

[Brie]

Oh, wow.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Three and four. They are. I mean, late at night, we just do. It's literally. It's like, we just go at it, and it's so healthy, and it's so fun.

[Brie]

It is.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And when it becomes, like, if someone gets their feelings hurt or it gets too serious and, like, you know, it's. Someone's gonna start crying. And I, like, last night, Sophia sat both of them down on the couch and made them hold hands. Oh, my God. Because they were being, like, assholes to each other because they wanted to compete about everything.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And I thought it was so hilarious. I was like, oh, I'm using this forever. So when they're little punks and they can't play nice, like, I want them to have, like, healthy competition. I also, like, Sloan was trying to twist his arm off, and I'm like, okay, sweetie, this is where we're gonna. I don't want to go to the ER right now.

[Brie]

It's 8:30.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I got things, you know, I'm tired. So we sat them down and made them hold hands. And I was like, this is brilliant.

[Brie]

I love it. Like, until they come. Yes.

[Nikki]

Yeah. You need, you know, do that with Mateo. Just with me. He's crazy competitive. I have to constantly tell him that everything is in a race. But then when I see. I see his competitive nature, I'm like, gosh, that's me. I mean, growing up, even still, I was competitive. If we played Monopoly, I had the urge, like, win.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

But I see him or both our boys when they're together. I mean, they're scooting, and all of a sudden it turns into a race. And who's gonna win? Just always.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Oh, I wonder where they get that.

[Brie]

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[Brie]

Well, Ashlyn, I have to say, so you, here you are. You're a child prodigy. 16 years old. You make it to the pro team. How were the women with you? Because it had to. You know, I. We all remember being on sports teams, and I'm like thinking, I'm in my early 20s, I went through college and now a 16 year old just took my position. I mean, was it hard to, like, step onto a team like that?

[Ashlyn Harris]

Well, it was. It technically. I just started with the US Team very young. It wasn't professional. Soccer wasn't as big of a deal. I was playing and just like, kind of practicing so I didn't lose my amateur. Like, I wanted to go to college, and that was important for me because no one in my family had gone yet and graduated. So, you know, you ask, why soccer? I was a great baseball player. I was great at basketball. I, you know, I knew skateboarding was only a hobby. It wasn't going to get me far. But I started to get like letters, like hand handwritten letters when I was 13 because I was playing with the U19 national team. So they thought I was about to leave high school to go to college. So when I started getting these letters, you know, and I was like a little punk, like I did, you know, high school. I just, me and my brother were like, I remember asking for boxing gloves for Christmas one year and my parents had two jobs at night when we would put on like, fights in the backyard, like proper street boxing fights with money.

[Nikki]

That's amazing.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Just to make money. Yeah. And.

[Nikki]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, you mean like you would invite people and stuff between you two?

[Ashlyn Harris]

Oh, yeah.

[Brie]

Did you win? Oh, my God.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I was nuts. I was nuts. And I'm like, put a boy in here. I don't care. Hit me. Yeah, it like, I'm never going to put my hands on someone that I'm not ready for them to put their hands back on me. Like, it was just. We were hustlers, so it's just interesting, like the dynamic I always had. I was really wise as a kid. It's Like, I had lived a whole lifetime before a lot of, like, these kids. And I just, I was ticking differently. I was like, okay, I, I, I have a real opportunity to do something with myself, right? And like, I got my shit sorted. I stopped, you know, smoking weed and stealing and doing shit I shouldn't be doing and hustling and gambling at the lunch table. I just, I really saw a potential to do something great with my life. And I never wanted to feel that. Like, what if, what if I could have been great? And I chose to make a bad decision and, you know, I got arrested and I wasn't able to do all of these things maybe I was destined to do. So I really wanted to go to college, and I committed to the University of North Carolina. Like, I just picked the phone up and called the coach and I was like, I want to go to your school. Do you want to pay for me to do that? Like, I was just so bullish and I knew what I wanted and I, I went after it.

[Brie]

That's great.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Which most people didn't. Which I found maybe is why, like, being with my brother and being with boys, I didn't internalize any type of shame or I can't ask for this, or my worth is less than my brother. Like, I was a boy, I had a bowl cut. Like, I was badass. I was respected. And, and I just moved like the rest of the boys that I kicked it with. So for me, it was so important because it taught me, like, I didn't ha. I didn't feel the injustices that most women grow up feeling. Like, I knew I was a baller, I knew I was a badass, and I was going to go for what I just, like, I built and the, like, discipline that I put in and the sacrifice, because I was training every day when no one was watching.

[Brie]

That's incredible.

[Ashlyn Harris]

That is why I was like, oh, soccer's it. It's my ticket out. And it sure was.

[Brie]

Yeah. And you know what's so fast, fascinating about it is I was listening to this talk and this woman was talking, why you see more men as CEOs and presidents and all this is because at a young age they're taught how to play poker. And I was like, where? No one ever taught the girls how to play poker. So we never were taught how to have to bluff or do you know, to with your math in a way of the cards and like how to.

[Nikki]

Have the game based. Right.

[Brie]

All of it. And so it's interesting because, yeah, I think you being so Close with your brother and being competitive with them. You almost, you gained all those qualities that why men kind of. I, you know, I don't see it so much now because we're so educated, but thrived so much back then compared to girls. Cuz we're all, we're, you know, you're treated differently. We're, you know, they're softer with us. But I love that you just were like, no, you're going to treat me like my brother. I'm going to be like my brother and better.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Yeah.

[Brie]

And here I am.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And that was it.

[Nikki]

Yeah. Which has probably played such an important role for you on paving this way of equality for equal pay for women in the state sport. Because you have such a different mindset, which is so amazing, which probably gives you such, such strength in that fight.

[Ashlyn Harris]

It really is. I'll tell you what, the transition was actually really hard for me. Oh really? You know, you would think it would give you all of these tools and these assets. I think we could take more from how men are and how they interact. Because when I moved over to women, like playing in women's sports, anytime I told something to someone or held them accountable, it was like, like I was an asshole or I was too harsh or I was too competitive and I took things too seriously and I was just like it. Like, I gotta be honest, like when I first started, I was like, what the fuck is this? Like, I'm not here to be your friend.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I'm here to compete because like, eventually, like, I want this to be my life and I want to make money doing this. It was survival for me. I couldn't, I couldn't go back. Like I literally was taking on ridiculous. Like I learned. Talk about being wise. Even at Carolina, I was like, I want to take by. I would sit down with my academic advisor and I'd be like, I want to take biology and kinesiology. I was literally looking up the most expensive books. I was not going to take those courses, but I was going to take. I was on a full ride. I was going to take that money, I was going to resell those books back so I'd have a little cash.

[Brie]

Wow, that gambler in you.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I just was always. But it was the savviness of being with boys. And not only boys. I played soccer in Florida. It is the melting pot of culture in that locker room. Like it was black, Asian, Spanish, white. Like, you name it, it had. Like, I learned so much about life in that locker room that I will never be able to replicate in any type of education or any other job I do, there's people who spoke English, who didn't speak English, who had absolutely nothing. One moment, one dad like you. You named it. Like you learned about it quickly and it made you wise very quickly. So I, I went to the women's side. It was so catty. People were so fucking mean. You couldn't say anything or people would snap at you with attitude. And I was like, this is really not personal. I'm just here to win. Like, if I tell you to be somewhere or do something, this is because I care enough to share the experience for us to be successful. It's not personal. I don't. Like, I'm not here to worry about the shit you do outside of soccer or this or that. But women, it was like really hard to build that trust because of the dynamic of how, how young girls are raised in this culture. And I was like, I had to be so careful with everything I did that I was like, whoa, this is a. This is a little bit of whiplash. Like, if you didn't. If you didn't like something that happened with the boys, you hashed it out. You're like, that hurt my feelings. That's up. You can't do that. Like, we gotta, like, be on the same page and we gotta. We're not stabbing each other in the back. Like, like, we just spoke about it and we would sit there as a group and hash it all out. And we were like, great, keep it pushing. And kept playing like there was nothing weird.

[Brie]

See, I love that Brie.

[Nikki]

And I said, see, that was the positive about having a twin, because that was our relationship all the time. And where we just figured it out in five minutes, hashed it out, move on.

[Brie]

We all took the emotion out of situations.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Yeah.

[Brie]

Which men do great at business taking emotion out, right? So we taught ourselves, all three of us, that with our, you know, rough relationships and all that. But I think it's helped us all thrive because all of us have no fear to, like, ruffle a couple feathers or if someone says something to me, I'm like, okay, cool, I'll change it or whatever.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I don't get, like, yeah, I can receive information well.

[Nikki]

Like, it's me too.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Trust me, I've heard everything. Like, there's nothing you're gonna say to me that some coach hasn't absolutely destroyed me, you know, in some capacity. Like, I can receive information well. And also, like, I'm a grown ass human. Like, I can decide where it penetrates. Like, I don't have. You know, people are always like, you gotta be coachable. You gotta. Like, your coach tells you this. Well, I don't have to listen to whatever. I should be smart enough to receive the information that I believe is gonna make me a better player and human. I don't have to receive all your. Because not everyone is right all the time.

[Brie]

Right?

[Nikki]

No. And everyone's different. Like, the way, you know, whether it's in sports or whatever it may be, like, we're all built differently. Brains are different. The way we play is different, which.

[Brie]

Means body type, all of it.

[Nikki]

Right. You have to take those things. And I even realized that in wrestling, I was. I was so coachable that it actually just. Just didn't make me stand out for a while because I just was listening and behaving and not breaking the rules. And then the minute I was like, you know what? This isn't. This isn't working out for sure. When I started to break the rules and push things is when Embry 2, we stood out beyond because it was like, no, now I'm gonna do what sets me on fire and what I know my.

[Brie]

What my strengths are.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

Because they're showcasing the weaknesses for sure.

[Nikki]

Because sometimes when you're too coachable, you get. You hold yourself back.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

And I was like, I got to take the chains up. I got to break free and know what I can really do here. And so I agree with that.

[Brie]

As you all know from our social platforms that we were just in Paris, France, but Nikki and I wanted to do something really different this trip. We wanted to feel like locals. And I have to say, Nikki, the apartment you picked out, oh, my goodness, it was spectacular.

[Nikki]

I have to say, you couldn't get the views that we got at a hotel unless you were paying outrageous prices. We had incredible views, and I have to say, it kept me with my health and wellness game. But I also got to dive into fun. I had so much comfort. It was like, not only did we get a feel like home in this gorgeous apartment, but we got to dive into the culture of Paris.

[Brie]

Oh, my God.

[Nikki]

We get to go home. We get to wake up, make our own coffee, just go out on our patio. Look at this incredible, incredible history. It was just the best. I don't think, Brie, I could ever do Paris the same way again. It has to be with Airbnb.

[Brie]

I think my highlight of my time there is when we went to the farmer's market, the really famous French one. And then I came home and made this delicious dinner with all this fresh produce. I mean, I felt like I was living in a movie. It was incredible.

[Nikki]

Well, and for me, who was working out a lot, I have to say, what was incredible was being able to do my laundry and then make coffee, open up the windows and literally have a chair right there and just be staring at one of my favorite parts of Paris right there on the patio.

[Brie]

I mean, game over. When are we going back? Oh, my gosh. But the best part is, is that sometimes when you're in your travels, especially in Paris, you might spend a lot of money. Which is why I love how you can host on Airbnb. I mean, it's such a smart way to make a little extra income. You can put it towards future travel, home improvement, or that fun splurge item you've been eyeing.

[Nikki]

That's right. I mean, there's nothing greater than hosting your home on Airbnb. And you know what? Finding a little piece of home while you travel always makes a trip super special. Your home could be that for someone else.

[Brie]

So true. Your home might be worth more than you think.

[Nikki]

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[Brie]

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[Nikki]

Did you ever feel years into it, there was like a moment where things changed? Like, or did it always feel like that in your career as far as in sports and on the women's team.

[Ashlyn Harris]

With the US Team, it was the first time I felt comfortable because there was so much trust. And these are like the 0.00001% of the population. Like, they are used to grit. They are used to the air being thin. They are used to suffering at all costs for the greater success. Like, I never question what those players were doing when people weren't watching because the pressure we had to hold on our shoulders of winning and being the best in the world. I knew they weren't cheating like workouts. I knew that they weren't, you know, not doing their fitness testing. Like, these women were operating as, like, extreme beast. So when I was there, it was all about winning. No bullshit.

[Brie]

Love that.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And I loved it. And that is like, what made us listen. We didn't all like each other and we didn't have to.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

But we fucked with each other because it mattered with our team chemistry. And, like, we put our to the side and it was about winning and that was it. Period. And if you didn't like that or couldn't operate within those standards, trust me, you didn't last long because it is not for the week. So that the US Team was a. It's. I would go with my club team and I'd be like, oh, God, I have to tone it down. This is like, you know, it's really like, for us, it was like life or death. Like, that was what made you great is like, how much you were willing to commit, how much you were willing to sacrifice. Like, I'd wake up nights and be like, ah, I can't sleep this much. Someone's working harder than me. Like, it's just the constant chase. Like, most people aren't operating that way, but that team always was.

[Nikki]

Wow, I love that environment. Me too.

[Brie]

But that's why you guys were so successful. I feel like.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Oh, and it was so uncomfortable.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Oh, yeah.

[Nikki]

So you always had to be on your toes.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Oh, my God. Well, you are replaceable. And that was very clear. You don't like this. You don't want to do this. You're gone. And there's only 23 of us. So it's not like you. It's like there's, boom, Millions of people in this country who want your job.

[Brie]

I mean, it's crazy when you think about it. Do you ever miss it?

[Ashlyn Harris]

That's such a loaded question. I miss the, like. What I'm noticing is for my mental health to. To operate and push my body to the most extreme. Every single day was so good for me as a human, and I don't get that anymore. Like, I don't get. I love being uncomfortable. Like, I think it's the best fucking feeling. Like, when I work out with Soph, she's always looking at me and she's like, you don't have to suffer like this. This is the suffering is what makes it beautiful for me, because it makes me feel like I'm engaging in a gear that most people never can fucking tap into. Like, when people hit that wall, they're like, I did it. I'm gonna put my hands on my knees and I'm gonna breathe really hard, and I did it. Like, I always wanted to push myself to limits. That surprised even me.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And I always wanted to live within that space. And I think there are very, very unique people who can get to that freedom of being like, it's not suffering for me. It's actually showing me I'm alive.

[Nikki]

Yes. Amen to that honesty. You know, me going back to wrestling in this era, it's kind of that, because growing up an athlete and then doing pro wrestling and being now there for almost 20 years, coming back now, that's exactly what it's given me, is okay. For years, I've been pushing myself in different ways as far as being a mother and experiencing that. But I knew I was craving that competition feel again, or pushing myself beyond my limits. Seen what I still have left in me now in my 40s. And it's funny because I'll see a lot of fans say, like, oh, since she's been back, she's losing a lot. And see, for me, the wins and the losses have been about the match. I care about the performance. Yeah, it's different. Pro wrestling, we have predetermined finishes. So to me, when someone's telling me what the end game is, that isn't the real win for me. It's, how am I going to put on such a great story with wrestling moves to engage a live crowd? How will my performance be? How can I go outside of the box and perform? Those are, like, the real wins for me. And it's funny because I'll get. People will stop me constantly as of late, like, well, I Mean, you're in your 40s now. Like, how did. Are you sure? Aren't you going to get hurt? And I'm like, I am living better than ever feeling ever. I got to go up against this woman named Austin, and she's from Japan, one of the best wrestlers in women history. She's incredible, and I've never had a match against her, and they threw it at me last minute. But what I love about the Japanese woman is they hit hard in there. Like, yeah, like, it was such a hard, fun match. Like, I haven't felt that aggressive with someone in so many years, since back in my diva days. Oh. Is the best feeling. And she was just making me constantly push outside my box. Like, my lungs were even, like, girl, trying to catch this. Oh, it was, like, the greatest feeling. I go, this is why I'm back. This is why I'm doing what I'm doing. Because I. My trainer, he gets us to a limit, but nothing like in that ring or when you're on the field or whatever it might be. It's. It's addicting.

[Ashlyn Harris]

It is. And it's. It's. It is like, I. Was it Nikki? Was it. Did you show up to something and you had, like, thrown your back out and you were covered in patches?

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

You were like.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

I couldn't even, like, look left or right.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Literally, your whole back was. I don't know if it was, like, kinesio tape or cupping or who knows? And I was like, yeah, yeah, probably both. She's back at it.

[Brie]

Let's go.

[Ashlyn Harris]

But it's like, honestly, I could not imagine working out and then the next day being like, I feel totally fine.

[Nikki]

Oh, I want to. I want to, like, waste.

[Brie]

I want to be sore.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I want to not be able to sit to pee.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

It has to be.

[Brie]

Yes.

[Ashlyn Harris]

So uncomfortable. Otherwise, I'm like, did I just listen to a podcast?

[Nikki]

Like, what.

[Ashlyn Harris]

What would. Did I just lay on the floor and stretch?

[Nikki]

Yeah. I'd rather go get a massage, knowing at least if I'm gonna lay down, someone needs to work my body out, you know? Like, in that way, I get mad, too. If you're gonna make me squat, and if I can't sit on the toilet next day, then what did I just do?

[Brie]

What did I just do? Like, means you did it wrong. That's what it means. So, Ashlyn, something that Nikki and I have always loved about you, and I feel like your. Your name's always at the top of the list. When people see women who are outspoken and advocate for Pay equality in sports. I think, you know, your journey with that and really putting the message out has been really beautiful. What type of barriers do you. Well, one, do you. How far do you think we've come for women and pay equality in sports? But also I would love to know your thoughts on the barriers that you see that we kind of run into and the hurdles that we really have to get over to. To be paid equally.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Yeah, I think equality is a different conversation than equity. I think equality should be the standard no matter what. I think equity is going to take a little bit more time because so much of it is like, based on old models of scale and reach. And we just haven't had a culture of women's sports. Like, when you think of the New York Yankees or you think of the Giants or the jets, like, there's so. There's so much rich history in men's sports where this has been generations after generations, like, of people being raised in these environments, of these sold out stadiums. And we've been trying to mimic that playbook into the women's leagues of the WNBA and the nwsl. And we're always wondering why they're failing. It's a totally different viewer, it's a totally different type of storytelling and reach, and we can't base it off of old models. So what I'm saying is it always affects our media rights deals, which is where the majority of the money comes from. Right. So it's like, it's a systems issue of why we're not getting paid fairly. Like, you know, I don't know how much you guys are involved in the current climate of what's going on in the wnba, but they're, they're literally at war right now with their CBA negotiations. And the president of the WNBA came out and literally just unleashed on the commissioner yesterday in a press conference. And I don't know how aware you are, but these rookie contracts that Caitlin Clark and Paige Beckers and all these insanely talented young women, they're making like under $80,000 a year.

[Brie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And then, wild, when they're asked about this and they're asked about, you know, we see the numbers. The numbers don't lie, right? So the revenue, the jersey sales, the attendance, we're breaking every record at like times X rate right now. I'm saying. And she, she literally says, well, the only reason why a CAITLIN Clark makes 60 million or 16 million, I don't remember what it was, a big difference, but a lot of millions of dollars is because she has the platform of the WNBA that allows her to make this money outside of it. No, no, no, no, sweetheart, no, no. That's not how this works. No. So for me, it's personal. I. I hear this often, and I heard it from my own employer, that you should be grateful. Should be grateful that you have all these things. You should be grateful that you have this life. And I'm tired of having to feel grateful for things that we continue as women, paving the way and building on our back. Like, I don't want that. I want to be fucking paid fairly for what I do and not have to worry about building a whole life in this sport. And the second I'm done, I can't rest or breathe or appreciate my journey because I have to put food on the table for my family. And you didn't pay me enough because of your own ego. Because, you know, the people at the top want to put the money in their pocket. They just don't want to put it in ours.

[Brie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I. I think for me, I always like to do what's right. Sport was never enough for me. Like, it just. It did. If. If you're given this platform where people actually listen to what you have to say, like, say the right things, stand up for the right, be on the right side of change. Don't be an. Like, how are you opening the door for other people? Like, I say this often, like, what? You're not changing. You're choosing women. Bitch more than anyone I know besides this new president. He's a fucking guy. Bitches more than anyone I know. But it's like, honestly, what. You're not changing, you're choosing. So it's like, for me, if I'm going to sit here on all these podcasts and all these outlets and media bitching about how pay equity is nowhere near where it should be, what are you doing about it? What actionable steps are you doing about it? Like, I'm doing a lot. I'm rolling my sleeves up. And it's not like activism pays me.

[Brie]

Right.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I'm doing it because I'm not choosing this for my daughter. I'm never gonna sit her down and be like, sorry, honey, no matter how hard you work, your brother's always gonna make more money than you because he's a boy, which means you. You know, it's just, like, it doesn't seem sit well with me. No, it's about principle. And I want to leave, you know, this place better than I found it. And that's with everything I do. I really believe how you do anything is how you do everything. I just. It. Soccer is not. Oh, cool. I kick a soccer ball around for a living. Like, that's. I'm not changing lives. If I just choose to do that, that's not enough for me personally. All of the other things, that's my. Why.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And literally, the soccer is just the vehicle.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

Nikki, Vibe can get really busy.

[Nikki]

Really busy. I mean, I would say it's been busy for all of us.

[Brie]

I know. And sometimes we just need to take a breather, sit down, and ask ourselves one very important question.

[Nikki]

What's that?

[Ashlyn Harris]

Brie.

[Brie]

Have you had your Hershey's?

[Nikki]

I sure have had my Hershey's Brie. And you know what? When you. When you need to brighten up your day or even put a smile on your face, grab the classic creamy texture and pure milk chocolate flavor of Hershey's milk chocolate.

[Brie]

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[Nikki]

It sure does. You want to know what one of my favorite moments with Hershey's chocolate is? Teo? And I like. I love it because you know me, I'm chocolate lover. But now I have a son who's a chocolate lover. So we split bars all the time. It's just such a moment for us, a very happy moment. We look at each other, he always ends up getting chocolate all over his face. But it's just such a sweet moment that I find myself always reaching for a Hershey bar.

[Brie]

Always. I mean, we love making s' mores in my family. So every time I bust out a Hershey bar, my kids start screaming with excitement. They know it's about to be s' more time. So for all of you, shop for Hershey's milk chocolate now at a store.

[Nikki]

Near you found wherever candy is sold.

[Brie]

Nikki, why is it that every time 4pm comes around, I feel like I'm scrambling to make dinner? It's like I never know what I'm gonna make, what's in my fridge. I feel always lost and confused around dinner time.

[Nikki]

Well, girl, it's because dinner dread is real.

[Brie]

Oh, my gosh. The idea of cooking a big meal, overwhelming. And you also don't feel like waiting an hour for delivery.

[Nikki]

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[Brie]

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[Nikki]

I think that's so great. And when you say that about change and not being okay with it, it's true. Because the one thing I've realized in all these industries, even in sports, when the machine gets behind you, you see, they get behind you. They get with women's sports easily. They know how to make people attend. They know, they know all the things to do. It has nothing to do with people want to see men do sports versus people want to see women do sorts. No, no, no. The machine has always been behind the men from day one. It's the same thing in our industry. The machine knows when to get behind someone, to give them the big push to make everyone believe in this person. And they know how to hold people back. It's every single industry. And then it took people like you, you guys and Caitlyn Clark, all these women in standout, different sports for people, and you guys doing your own hard work, not their platform. You are bringing people to. To their platform. It's what you guys were doing outside of it on the field, bringing more eyes. But I always laugh when I say that. I go, no, we know what the machine can do. You get all your people behind it, people are going to show up.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Exactly.

[Nikki]

Same. All of it's the same.

[Brie]

Right? And. And even as parents, it's like we have to also look at our kids. Because I have a boy and a girl, I look at them both the same and like, at times my husband's like, are you being a little too hard on Bird? And I'm like, no, because I know what she's capable of and I want her to be a strong woman. I don't want her to take. I want her, if she has a, you know, 8 to 5 job, I want her to walk into a boardroom and feel like, you know, she is equal to everyone in there. She has confidence. She will speak up. I'm like, I'm not going to be soft on her because she's this cute little girl with, you know, curly hair and so soft spoken. I'm like, no, I'm going to make her a tough woman. Yeah. And make her. I just want her to just thrive and know all her strengths and go on.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And I say that. I say that all the time. I'm like, I am my princess. Like I treat her with so much respect and so much honor, and I make sure that she knows her worth every single day.

[Brie]

Love it.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Got bring a guy or a girl into this home. Yeah. She already knows what enough looks like.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And that's herself every single day. So I'm like, good luck. Good luck bringing someone in this. My. My kids are gonna be so cued in and tapped in to who they are, what they represent. Like, they're not gonna go after these dingoes. Like, they're never gonna last because they're gonna be. It's like you said, it's so instilled that they are enough, that when they bring someone home, that person is just gonna be insane because they've. They've already have enough love. It's just the cherry. It's the cherry on top.

[Nikki]

Exactly.

[Brie]

For sure.

[Nikki]

They want to share their life within a different way. Yeah, I agree. And is that what made you also want to start your podcast, was to have this other platform of bringing in change or talking about certain things, your podcast, wide open?

[Ashlyn Harris]

I honestly, I think media is cruel. I think it. We live in a really toxic climate of cancel culture. And I think because we live our lives so openly on social. I think people think they know who we are and they don't. And, you know, like, with the sports that we've done and how we've been raised, it's such a small in to what real life is and how we operate as humans and moms and partners. So wide open for me was an opportunity to really sit down and unpack, like, who we are and why we move the way we do and what we do outside of our job. Like, what does that look like?

[Brie]

Right.

[Ashlyn Harris]

It's a really unfiltered perspective of just, like, real, authentic conversations that have nothing to do with our job.

[Brie]

Gosh, that's incredible. And it's.

[Ashlyn Harris]

It's like, you don't. The problem is, is this culture is so quick to judge all the time. It's so toxic. It's so toxic. And I'm like, get to know these people on a real level, because a lot of them have walked really excruciating, painful lives. And let's come from a place of empathy and kindness and grace and knowing, like, we are human and our past are not, that we don't have to make them a life sentence. Like, they are a learning opportunity for us to be better and better and better and better. And I don't feel like people are given that space or opportunity enough.

[Brie]

Oh, I agree with you. It's like, at the end of the day, we all really want the same thing. We want to live in a safe country. We want our kids to go to school, and we all have the security that they're safe. We all want to love each other. We all want to be able to put food on the table for our family. It's like. But so many people get so. Just tarnished from so many other views and opinions and leaders. I feel like we. We forget that we're all in this together. Like, yeah, exactly.

[Ashlyn Harris]

We're all in it together, and we.

[Brie]

All want the same.

[Nikki]

All born different.

[Ashlyn Harris]

We don't all have to agree on the same thing, but we have to be able to respect each other and coexist and, like, be a good neighbor.

[Nikki]

Right? Be a good neighbor, like you said, which I. People need to have. This again is having empathy. Like, some people have lost that, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. These are human beings. Like, you don't even know them. You don't know what. Like, you said, what you've been through. And that's why I love what you do on your show. So everyone make sure to check out Ashlyn's podcast wide open now. We don't have time for a game. Oh, we're gonna. Because. No, we're gonna have to bring you back on, because our game was really fun.

[Brie]

Okay.

[Nikki]

So we'll make sure to do it next time. But we do love to end all of our episodes with a little inspiration, affirmation. So what can you leave our listeners with any quotes, mottos? I mean, I feel like you hit us with a ton of inspo. This whole.

[Ashlyn Harris]

Sure did.

[Nikki]

Whoa.

[Ashlyn Harris]

I will say this, and I do think it's really important for women. And I said this, like, at the top of the hour. What? You are not changing. You are choosing. And I cannot say that enough. Like, you know, I went through a divorce. I'm 39 years old. It was the hardest season of my life, and now I'm living the best. So I really think so much of so many women stay stuck in experiences because they're so fearful about what the consequences could be or what it will look like or how it will land, how the world will see them differently. And. And I really, really say this, like. And I really mean it. It's like, you have one life to live, and the choices you make every single day matters. And I don't want to waste a single moment being unhappy or in places I don't feel like I'm respected or I don't Belong. Like, I want to live an extraordinary life, and I don't want to choose mediocre. I just don't. And I hope everyone out there, like, who feels stuck or stagnant, who's scared to go after that job or scared to ask that person out or scared to come out of the closet, like, just choose to be exceptional and choose to live with so much hope and happiness and. And change things if they don't work or fit into your life. Like, you don't have to feel safe. Stuck.

[Brie]

Right.

[Nikki]

Gosh. Beautiful.

[Brie]

It's so beautiful.

[Nikki]

And my heart strings for sure.

[Brie]

Me, too. And thank you so much, Ashlin, because you've been an inspiration, not only on the field, but off the field. And I think that says so much about you, because obviously, you inspired young women everywhere to get on that soccer field. But I think the biggest thing you have done is inspired people to be the change they want to see in the world.

[Ashlyn Harris]

So.

[Brie]

And I always, like when I think of activists. Just you and even Sophia, but you both definitely always pop in my mind. So whatever what you're doing, keep doing it, because your ripple effect is truly making change.

[Nikki]

And if you ever need me to show up, like, because what you fight for is really big in what I do, you know, when you. You feel certain things that make you passionate, what you do, it's always been for women, and especially women in sports, but just equality for women. And so.

[Ashlyn Harris]

And we need it right now more than ever, more than really do we do. Well, thanks for having me on.

[Brie]

Yes.

[Ashlyn Harris]

You are my favorite.

[Brie]

I know.

[Nikki]

Well, thank you. Yes. And everyone, make sure to check out Ashlyn's podcast, Wide Open, anywhere you get your podcast. And look for videos, the Nicki and Brie Show, IG page, Tick Tock, Facebook, and also call City three three Garcia, too. All right, until next time, have a good one bite.

[Ashlyn Harris]

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