The Nikki & Brie Show
Episode: Ashlyn Harris: There's Magic in 'Uncomfortable'
Date: October 6, 2025 | Host: SiriusXM
Episode Overview
In this inspiring episode, Nikki and Brie Garcia welcome soccer superstar and activist Ashlyn Harris for a candid conversation about competition, resilience, equality, and the beauty of discomfort. Ashlyn shares her journey from being a child prodigy to champion, opening up about her upbringing, the challenges of breaking through in women’s sports, her advocacy for pay equity, and her philosophy on living authentically—even through life’s toughest transitions. The hosts and guest connect over motherhood, their athletic pasts, the impact of upbringing, and the importance of pushing boundaries. The episode offers both wisdom and warmth, leaving listeners motivated to embrace change and live boldly.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Childhood, Competition & Upbringing
[07:24] Ashlyn’s Athletic Beginnings
- Ashlyn describes her upbringing as a competitive, sports-driven tomboy, heavily influenced by her older brother and her drive to keep up with the boys.
- “I played boys sports until I was 15...if I wanted to hang with my bro, I had to be good enough.” — Ashlyn Harris [07:58]
- A pivotal moment: Being scouted at a boys’ soccer tournament, leading to a call from U.S. coach April Heinrichs and her first stint with the U19 national team at just 13.
[09:57] Experience as 'the only girl'
- Skateboarding, baseball, and unconventional after-school time at the skate park shaped Ashlyn’s confidence and resilience.
Quote:
“I was the only girl in everything I did. So it didn't feel, like, weird. It felt like the norm.”
— Ashlyn Harris [09:57]
[10:40] The Value of Healthy Competition
- The hosts and Ashlyn discuss how competition between siblings builds tenacity and self-discovery, reflecting on their own children’s sibling dynamics.
- Brie: “[Competition] is such a great lesson for kids to know, you know, that drive.”
Pioneering in Women’s Soccer & Navigating Female Team Culture
[16:30] Early Experiences on the U.S. Team
- Ashlyn clarifies she started very young on the US women’s team, maintaining amateur status to attend college—being the first in her family to do so.
- Her background in competitive environments with boys gave her assertiveness and resilience.
[21:47] Challenges on Women’s Teams
- Ashlyn contrasts direct, accountability-driven communication learned with boys to the more delicate, sometimes “catty” dynamics in women’s locker rooms.
- “Anytime I told something to someone or held them accountable, it was like, I was an asshole or I was too harsh or... too competitive.”
— Ashlyn Harris [21:47]
- “Anytime I told something to someone or held them accountable, it was like, I was an asshole or I was too harsh or... too competitive.”
[23:11] Lessons from Diverse Sports Locker Rooms
- She credits her cultural awareness and wisdom to the diverse, challenging environments in Florida sports: “I learned so much about life in that locker room I will never be able to replicate...” [23:13]
[25:16] Importance of Removing Emotion, Accepting Feedback
- Conversation about how men (and twins) tend to “hash things out and move on,” and how that helped all three become resilient, coachable, and unafraid to ruffle feathers.
Becoming Uncomfortable & Striving for Excellence
[33:33] High-Performance Culture on the U.S. Team
- With the national team, Ashlyn felt true camaraderie, trust, and high expectations: “These women were operating as, like, extreme beast. So when I was there, it was all about winning. No bullshit.” [32:33]
- The pressure and standard was relentless and much different from her club teams.
Quote:
“We didn't all like each other and we didn't have to. But we fucked with each other because it mattered with our team chemistry... If you didn't like that or couldn't operate within those standards, trust me, you didn't last long because it is not for the weak.”
— Ashlyn Harris [32:41]
[34:10] The Value of Discomfort
- Ashlyn reveals she misses being pushed to the edge as an athlete:
- “I love being uncomfortable. Like, I think it’s the best fucking feeling... when people hit that wall… I always wanted to push myself to limits that surprised even me.” [35:16]
- Nikki resonates, describing the appeal of wrestling’s physical and psychological demands in her 40s.
Equality, Equity, & Barriers in Women’s Sports
[39:36] The Fight for Pay Equity
- Ashlyn makes a crucial distinction:
- “Equality is a different conversation than equity. I think equality should be the standard... I think equity is going to take a little bit more time because so much of it is based on old models of scale and reach.” [39:36]
- She highlights issues like undervalued media rights and outdated business models as main barriers.
- Outspoken about the systemic failures of women's sports leagues, especially regarding rookie salaries and lack of investment.
Quote:
“I’m tired of having to feel grateful for things that we continue as women, paving the way and building on our back. ...I want to be fucking paid fairly for what I do and not have to worry about building a whole life in this sport and the second I’m done, I can’t rest...”
— Ashlyn Harris [41:30]
[44:17] Turning Activism into Action
- For Ashlyn, sport is a vehicle to effect societal change:
- “If you’re given this platform where people actually listen to what you have to say, like, say the right things, stand up for the right... what you’re not changing, you’re choosing.” [44:17]
- She works to ensure her daughter will never have to accept less because she’s a girl.
Parenting, Empathy & Raising Confident Girls
[49:10] Parenting Strong Daughters
- All three discuss raising strong, confident children who know their worth and how to advocate for themselves.
- Ashlyn: “My kids are going to be so cued in and tapped into who they are, what they represent...they’re not going to go after these dingoes.” [49:36]
The Role and Power of Storytelling
[50:28] Why Ashlyn Started Her Podcast (‘Wide Open’)
- Ashlyn wanted to provide a nuanced, unfiltered look at athletes and public figures, free from media distortion and snap judgments.
- “Wide open for me was an opportunity to really sit down and unpack, like, who we are and why we move the way we do…” [51:15]
Memorable Quotes & Moments
- “I love being uncomfortable. Like, I think it’s the best fucking feeling... it’s not suffering for me. It’s actually showing me I’m alive.”
— Ashlyn Harris [35:16] - “What you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Ashlyn Harris [44:17] & [53:43] - “We fucked with each other because it mattered with our team chemistry...”
— Ashlyn Harris [32:41] - “I want to live an extraordinary life, and I don’t want to choose mediocre. I just don’t.”
— Ashlyn Harris [54:30]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:00 – 01:47: Intros (skip ads & banter)
- 02:31: Ashlyn joins; stories of first meetings & shared events
- 07:24: Ashlyn’s early career, growing up as a competitor
- 16:30: Transition to women’s soccer, team dynamics, early challenges
- 21:47: Navigating the culture shock of women’s teams
- 33:33: U.S. Women's National Team high-performance environment
- 34:10: The positives of discomfort and pushing limits
- 39:36: State of pay equity and barriers in women’s sports
- 44:17: Turning platform into action—why advocacy matters
- 49:10: Parenting & raising empowered daughters
- 50:28: Motivation for starting Ashlyn’s podcast, Wide Open
- 53:43: Ashlyn’s affirmation & closing inspiration
Closing Affirmation
“What you are not changing, you are choosing... You have one life to live, and the choices you make every single day matter. ...Choose to be exceptional and choose to live with so much hope and happiness and change things if they don’t work or fit into your life. You don’t have to feel safe. Stuck.”
— Ashlyn Harris [53:43–54:30]
Final Thoughts
Ashlyn Harris’s candor and courage light up this episode, offering deeply practical wisdom on thriving through discomfort, breaking through cultural barriers, and using your platform for change. Under Nikki and Brie’s warm, witty guidance, the episode is a powerful reminder to compete relentlessly, raise the next generation with grit, and never settle—for yourself or for others.
Recommended:
- Check out Ashlyn’s podcast [Wide Open] for more unfiltered conversations.
- Follow Nikki & Brie for more behind-the-scenes family, empowerment, and sports talk.