Transcript
Brie Bella (0:01)
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Contact us before canceling entire account to continue build credits or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement to bill credits and if you pay UP devices early CT mobile.com Happy Monday everyone, and welcome back to the Nikki and Bri Show. And I have to say, I really love when I get to do a solo episode for all of you. That's right, Bree. Solos are. I'm really excited. You know, it's funny because I was in such rhythm with all of you and then I was kind of like, oh my gosh, I need Nikki back. But now when I get to do a solo episode for all of you, it's really exciting for me because I really get to speak to you guys. What's been on my heart, something I've been going through. Like when Nikki and I are together, I love it and it's our energy together and things going on in the world and our world's colliding. But when I get to do a solo episode, I really get to speak to you on just with me, just Bri what I've been dealing with. And you know, I knew I had to do the solo episode. So I was really the last couple days thinking to myself, what do I want to talk to everyone about? Like, what's been going on in my life? You know, because we're on this podcast twice a week. So I'm sure a lot of you think like, man, it must be hard for Them to do two episodes. Even though I tell Nikki, I'm like, wow, we really don't have a dull life. It feels like a lot goes on. But I wanted to dig deep and I really wanted to really think about, okay, where has it been emotionally tough in my life? What are some things that I've had to do research on and really learn and just kind of had to find the words to speak. And this thing kept popping up in my head, and it's with my daughter, Birdie. You know, we have been dealing with some just, like, school, school things. Birdie's seven. Going to be eight May 9th. How. How is she going to be eight? Time really flies when you have kids. But, you know, today's episode is going to be about belonging. And it's something that we've had to really talk to Birdie about and something that Birdie has been faced with the last couple months of not feeling like she belongs. And as a mom, it's really, really hard when you start to see your kid come home from school sad. And Brian and I, you know, we both just as parents, have talked and have tried to come up with so many different things of, you know, motivating her, making her happy. But I thought this episode would be really nice to dive in deep to what Brian and I have been doing with Bird. We've actually tested her, what her brain results were that actually all linked back to her social anxiety of acceptance and feeling like she doesn't belong. I mean, we saw it in her literally brain scans. It was crazy, you guys. And then to a little bit of a deep dive I had to do with myself and for Birdie, of finding the right words and what to do. But, you know, I'm going to take it from the beginning of how this all kind of has happened for us in the last three months. You know, Birdie. Birdie has friends. But what I realized is she doesn't have that solid unit yet, you know, and that could be seven. I feel like that's when we start to see, like, girl groups and where you belong and how you fit in. And Birdie is. Is just a very unique, special little one. As you all know, she's my little fashionista. She's very artsy, has a huge imagination. I mean, if you walked into a room right now, I mean, she literally every night makes sure her little babies all. You know, she has like four, like a couple, you know, two babies, two little, like, they're like American girl dolls. And she puts them to sleep, she gets them dressed for the day she makes sure they make their beds. Like, my daughter's imagination is just incredible. The story she comes up with, the way Birdie reads, I mean, this little one will blow through chapter books like her daddy, and then she will literally sit at her desk and draw and write these stories. I mean, it's absolutely incredible. But I realized she hasn't found someone yet who kind of can co. Exist in that world with her and join in on what to her, is fun. And I find it so fun. And so it kind of has made her feel like, you know, here, there she's trying to see, like, where do I fit in? And one week there'll be a group that allows Birdie in, and then the next week, Birdie will go to school so excited, thinking she's finally found her group. And then they're like, well, you can't be with us this week. And, you know, I. I hate to say mean girl stuff, even though it's like the first thing you want to say, but I think kids at that age are all trying to figure each other out. They're. They're trying to figure out who their best friend is and who, you know, is gonna be the flavor of the week and who's gonna be the one to make them laugh or build a fort perfectly. And. But it's funny because Brian and I, you know, when we pick up Birdie and we see her walk, and every time I see the shoulders down and her head swinging, I'm like, oh, no, it was a bad day at school. And there's times where you will walk up, walk out, skipping and smiling. And I'm like, it's been a good day. But, Brian, I've really been faced to work with her on that. And I feel like as a parent, you know, you start to see the signs of when your kid. Because kids don't tell us exactly what's going on at school. So I'll always be like, birdhouse goals. It was fine. It was fine. I wish it was better, but I feel like it's our duty as parents to look for the signs. So anytime I see Birdie, you know, heads down, shoulders are down, I know I. I really gotta dig deep. And we do. And whether I take her to the coffee shop or we go on, like, a fun little walk, I really know with Bird how I can really just figure out what happened, what she wanted from the day, what really upsetted her, and, like, if the situation was different, how would it look for her? But, you know, one thing Brian and I realized is Birdie is a lot like him. Where we feel, feel like Brian, depression runs through his family. So we're like, you know, Birdie is very sensitive. Her feelings can get hurt. And we feel like if we don't start to help her build the confidence and self acceptance, she can fall into that oppression like Brian. So he and I are working on it, but we've been dealing with these issues at school to the point my daughter is really begging us to homeschool her because Birdie. So they do pen on Wednesdays. And Birdie does not want to change in front of the other girls. She used to, but now she doesn't. And I asked her, I'm like, did something happen? Did someone comment on your body? Did someone make you feel insecure? And she's like, just don't want to do it anymore. So my daughter will put her PE outfit on, her leggings over her long sleeve shirt and then her dress. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is like crazy. And she freaks out. Like when we leave for school on Wednesdays, I look at her and she's just like, I just don't want to do this and I just don't want to go to school today. And the way she talks and I'm like, you know, Bird, it's, you know, is it pe? Is it really physical education that is getting you today? But you know, we found out she always, when they do everything, she comes in last. You know, I don't think Birdie really gets picked. She told us they pick groups she's lost to get picked. So that weighs heavy on a child. So, you know, Brian, who's just the sweetest man to ever live, decided that, you know, I think I homeschool Birdie on Wednesdays and just bring these anxieties and stresses down because she's really causing a lot of anxiety. And it was weird because as a parent, I told Brian, I'm like, but are we, are we not teaching her that this is life? Like life at times is going to feel unfair. It's going to feel really hard. Like, Brian, I feel like we need a coach her. But Brian feels like she's seven. Like, take her out of a situation that is clearly causing damage to her brain, is clearly in actual scientific results is affecting her. He's like, until she feels ready and confident she can conquer. So he and I kind of met in the middle and we do. So Wednesdays we started to do this like homeschooling thing with her and Brian takes her hiking and they go Bike riding. And he motivates her and to, like, these are enjoyments. But we will get put in situations that we're going to, not necessarily like. Like we do right now, bike riding as a family, you know, And. And she's understanding that. And here comes, like, Mama, right? And I like to think I'm very understanding, very easygoing, but I. It's not like I'm tough, but I want to be a little tough because I want. When the kids leave the nest, I don't want to sit there and be up all night thinking they're not ready to face the world. So I am with Birdie, just honest. And. And I tell her, Mama, at 41, still deals with the feelings of not belonging, which I'll get into a little later, of what I ended up having to realize about myself in this whole situation with Birdie. But I was like, you know, I. I tell her, I'm like, bird, you're gonna meet girls who are gonna make you feel less than, who are gonna make you feel that your uniqueness is not unique. You're gonna meet girls and even boys who are gonna put down those special gifts you have. It is your duty to sit there and realize, no, I accept myself for the gifts I have. I know that my gifts have a special place in this world. And so I'm like, I try to be, like, motivational speaker to Bird and try to get a little tough. Like, you're not going to go through life, and everyone's going to be kind. We wish the world was like that. And we sit there and pray and hope that unity will be the one thing we can do in this world together. But right now, I can tell you it doesn't look too promising. And. And it is nice to have our bubbles of positivity. Birdie knows when she walks into this house, this house is filled with love, positivity, acceptance. And so this is her safe haven. This is her safe bubble. And as a mom, that is my duty to have a safe environment, a loving environment for my children, for my husband, for my animals. And I do that. But it's not going to be that when you walk out that door. So, you know, Brian and I, we've been. The one thing I love about my husband is we can really talk through things and work it out. And I tell you what's hard as a couple is when you do get faced with these challenges as parents, and not all people will see eye to eye. I have had countless conversations with friends and family where it's hard on them. Because their spouse might not see it like them, or they're not co parenting their, you know, partner or the child's mommy or daddy might not see it like them. And that's tough. And you really do have to sit down with whoever you're parenting with and really talk, talk, not yell, talk, and come up with a game plan of what you feel works best for your kids. Because what we do for Birdie does not work for Buddy. And Buddy, it's funny because, you know, he's around all this and like, he'll be like, oh my gosh, Burber. Well, do you want me to go talk to them? Like, he gets a real tough guy. And Buddy, you know, he hears the word homeschool and he's like, I love school. I never want to be homeschooled. So it's funny. It's like what we do with Birdie. Brian and I very much know, like, our parenting for Birdie is way different than Buddy. But Brian, I really have to sit down and put it together. And it's been, you know, in the last three months, very long conversations because, you know, I tell Brian too, I'm like, you still travel here and there for work and you go to Washington a lot. So like, to think of homeschooling, I'm like, I, I can't do it. I'm just gonna be honest. I'm like, it's not for me. So we, we definitely have come up with something we feel is going to work and it'll be interesting. What happens.